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*at work* (fictional names)
Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.
😆14 -
My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"8 -
Client: "This feature doesn't work! I thought you said it was done?!"
Me: "Please press CTRL+F5 and try again..."
Client: "Okay, great, works now."
A conversation I seem to have on a very regular basis.8 -
Art director said: "Please make everything smaller?"
Developer: "Everything?"
Art Director: "Yes everything. Font size, panel height, panel width, input height and width, photos, headers, paragraphs, everything"
Developer: "ctrl + '-' will that work?"10 -
I'm beginning to get burned out on coding in general due to work-related stresses.
Is anyone hiring remotely?
Please?
Will code in Ruby/Node/React for food ☹28 -
Dear Chrome,
I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.
No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.
Your abusive friend,
-chappjc
17 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you17 -
!!good news
!!great news
!!linux dev lappy recommendations?
So, @Root might finally have a job! Woo!
(Pending a background check, drug test, cavity search, ...)
I'm excited, and kind of giddy. It's an open-office setup, but the devs are chill, the boss is chill (reminds me a bit of myself thus far, just... nice), pay is decent too. Drive is hell, but everything else feels kinda cushy. The parent company is super-stuffy corporate and has an HR and red tape fetish, but supposedly I won't have to interact with them at all. I start as soon as all of the background check nonsense comes through. (Don't get me started on that, please.)
One of the questions that came up, however, is what type of system I wanted to use. I requested a Linux lappy, and that's sadly a bit beyond the parent company's nontechnical IT department. They asked me for links to a few specific machines on amazon for options. (MacBook Pro or equivalent)
That's where this question comes in: Which lappys make great dev machines and also have decent linux (Debian/Mint/Ubuntu) support? The role is backend Rails development + some devops, so I don't need super-fancy graphics, though I will be attaching a 4k (hopefully IPS) display because space and pretty colors.
Recommendations welcome, as I should get back to them today!43 -
Chat with user:
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: IT please come to my place i don't have internet connection and i need to finish my work, please please come quickly
Me: Are you in your computer?
User: Yeah.
Me: Amm, and how are you chatting with me?2 -
Morning Deployment.
Me: Let's add this application to this server.
Deployer: Alright.
...
D: Done. Please verify.
Me: I'm seeing errors. Send me the logs.
D: Sure. I also updated the framework to a version that wasn't tested.
M: Yeah, that won't work. Roll it back.
D: Fine.
...
D: Done. Please verify.
M: All the applications on the box are broken. Please revert to the snapshot before the Deployment.
D: Oops, I didn't make one.
🙁😟😢😭😤1 -
”OMG WE CAN’T GET INTERNET TO WORK! WE CAN’T DO ANYTHING! PLEASE COME AND HELP US ASAP!!!!!”
*rush over there, expecting the worst*
”So yeah, what’s the WiFi password again?”
:|2 -
Best Git commit msg I ever saw was nothing more than: "please work"
...found after a junior dev left our company and we were reviewing things4 -
Dear phone app devs,
when I start app, I want to *use* it, NOT fill in recommendations on store. Please move this question AFTER useful work in app.
Sincerely,
Angry user4 -
FUCKING PROJECT MANAGERS.
FOR THE LAST TIME, YOUR ALTERNATIVE IS UNUSABLE As explained the original proposal, and in comments THAT YOU FUCKING REPLIED TO AND AGREED WITH, the thing you want to use WILL NOT WORK. WHY ARE YOU SUGGESTING IT AGAIN?
FUCK YOU, YOU HAIRY-ARSED TWERP.
Also, dfox can we please have fucking anonymous rants!10 -
A critical vulnerability was detected in Electron and I urge all the devRantron users to update their app manually.
Please go to https://www.devrantron.com get the latest version which has the necessary patches.
Due to a request, we added compact mode in the app, which can be used to view a distraction-free mode of the UI. Notifications screen is a little bit more readable now. The read notifications are now greyed out.
Again, the auto update will not work for this version. Please manually update as soon as possible.
6 -
Dear son: when I ask you to stop using Netflix because I need all the network juice for a work-related call, please do close it or play a downloaded movie. Don't just turn the volume off...4
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Senior devs out there, please be supportive to juniors. Don't treat them bad just because they don't know as much as you do. Guide them and help them learn and grow as devs. That'll make your company (and/or the community) a better place to work at, because everyone will be a better dev, and you might learn and grow in the process as well.15
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Managment...
Where do I start?
So I have a task they set to priority "P0 - drop everything". Okay, dropping everything, doing the thing.
It's 11 and I already had 3 calls and meeting...
GOD FUCKING DAMINT LET ME WORK ON THE THING
and please let me focus -_-.
Oh, oh, also, calls were like "hi, we have a really dumb question to you, we know we could sit down for 10 seconds and use so-called logic but calling you is easier." Oh and also whats the progress on this P4 task?
holly motherfu... eghm. I mean.. They really like to piss me off. Best part of call #2. I prompt them "hey, please message me on slack, it does not destroy my focus and allows me work more efficiently"
and response... "I prefer talking than typing"10 -
Dad: "Install this apk for me"
*try it and installation fails*
Me: "I checked the repo and it's for a much older version of Android. Won't work for you."
Dad: "Don't be a quitter. It can definitely be done."
Please stop asking me for help.6 -
Linux you are just the perfect OS in all terms but please do something for gamers. I cant keep on switching laptops for work and playing dota. Hell even the keyboard layout is like way different in both.21
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Dear sales team please stop promising the customer stuff that doesn't exist within the system and then promising them dates for getting said functionality without discussing it with the product team let alone the development team. Also repeating 'but I promised the customer they'd have it by august' will not make 6 months of development work fit into that time frame!5
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He: Honzo, you are great coder, but can you please stop using those sexy anime chicks as placeholder images in your templates?
I: Ups, i forgot replace them.
He: Don't worry, client also enjoy it, but he maybe is only one. He also want to know where you found them.
I: Konachan.com
What can i say, i have exciting work.
24 -
To that person who came here to weep about how his employees don’t want to work on weekends and how he’s gonna force them to and deleted his rant that was downvoted to oblivion:
Please re-evaluate your mindset. Today it’s just downvotes, tomorrow it’s your entire staff quitting and pressing charges.18 -
Client sent the printing company I work for right now, a fax with an image and a message like "Please print this 4 by 2.54 meters", guy I talked to feels really tempted to scan it in and then just print it lol5
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Dear fellow developers,
please make your software more accessible.
Thanks.
Link to an article from a blind developer about his work:
https://medium.freecodecamp.com/loo...
I found this link in a comment on devRant posted by @nickpapoutsis.2 -
Don't you just love when your program finally compiles and runs error-free and...
It would be nice if it also returned what it was supposed to, but--6 -
Now seriously, WHAT THE FUCK???
Every single time I have to work with people from a particular country [you have one guess. Yepp, that's the one], I see A-FUCKING-LOOOOOOT of manual work?!?
"can you reboot the server?"
-"sure, let me help you, sir" <20 minutes later> "done"
"can you unlock my account?"
-"yes, just a moment sir" <20 minutes later> "please check now"
"can you restart this environment w/ 200 instances?"
-"yes sir, let me check" <6 hours later> "please check now"
"you've missed 18 containers"
-"oh okay sir, will restart them now" <2hours later> "please check now"
[I am already OoO]
why is it that every time I have to work with you guys I am the one who is automating shit. How come you never think of/do any automata? You are fucking technitians, you should know how. WHY DO YOU ENJOY CLICKING ALL-DAY-LONG????
I'm serious. Why??? I'm struggling to understand...22 -
recruiter of a company i was dying.to work in calls while im at work in a job i hated.
recruiter: hello, i saw the several applications you sent using our careers portal.
me: (rushes to bathroom ready to talk about scheduling the first interview) yes that is correct thank you fornbcontacting me !
recruiter: please stop applying several times, you have been rejected and need to wait a minimum of 3.5 years for us to re evaluate your resume in the future.4 -
1 - Please hack his/her facebook account for me.
2 - (at home) I used to block wifi access by mac filtering and if there's legit server down and wifi isn't working, everyone blames me.
(I am freelancer and mostly work from home)
3 - almost all of my relatives think I don't work.
4 - I am first choice for everyone's phone, PC and hardware repair.
This one is classic
GET A REAL JOB, you need to go out in the field for work.5 -
Things you hear from developers 5 minutes before demo to the whole Management Board.
- "... Does this button work... Nope... Oh well..."
- "What the hell is THAT!?"
- "Um... Is it supposed to look like this?"
- "Please tell me you didn't just merge this!?!" -
FRIENDLY REMINDER: Fucking save your goddamn work. Thanks.
- Your friendly neighborhood dumbass who just lost 14 hours of his life because his computer crashed.
P.S. Normally not a problem when working on code because I'm forced to save and commit with Git. Unfortunately I was balls deep in Adobe motherfucking illustrator working on wireframes, and didn't have doc recovery turned on.6 -
FOR FUCK SAKE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND !!!!
Been working on an app at work for 9 months and now PM tells me customer wants to change flow of the app!!!
Kill me please ASAP!6 -
Never accept a deadline you think you can can make if you work really hard. Just to please a client.
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Project day 1. CTO: everything should be covered by automatic tests.
Project day 30. CTO: listen, we have lot of work in the pipeline now and we need to prioritize. Please don't spend that much time on tests.
Project day 100. CTO: why isn't everything covered by automatic tests?7 -
So I just receieved a rude email from my client as candidates cannot register on his system. He is adamant that the system I built doesn't work........until he found out that candidates are silly and not reading notifications written in h1 with a font size of 33px that states "Please check your email to activate your account".......
FUCK SAKE READ PEOPLE.... READ!2 -
Using FireFox Dev edition:
Me: Cool a new update, lets hit update and restart button.
*two seconds later*
Me: FUUUUUUUCK, I was using incognito and now all my tabs are gone -.-8 -
Client (on Tuesday): I was X features on my website before the weekend!
Me: Sure thing, I can do that. Just a reminder, my rates are $Y/hr and the changes won’t go up until I’ve been paid in full.
(Thursday morning)
Me: Here’s the changes you’ve requested on the test environment, please review. Also here’s the invoice for my work, as soon as that’s paid I can upload the changes.
Annnnnddd silence since then... I’m glad that I don’t have to count on just one client’s payment, but if you wanted before the weekend and I have it all set up, please don’t ghost me.2 -
When new developers join in your team, please make a time and help them to get confidence with the project they will work on. Besides the project's documentation there is a human factor that can make the difference between a just another dev team and a great one.2
-
Whoever is breaking the internet today... Russia? Seth Rogen Movie? Kim Kardashian? Mr. Robot? Please stop! I'm trying to work!3
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To all the web developers out there that use email validation, stop using a check for common domain names! If I try to sign up with my email address (something@coded-websites.be) it won't work! So stop doing that and use a RegEx please! Who has had this problem too?10
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Client tests app 100000 times, app works fine
Client tests app once, app doesn't work
Client sends email to everyone,
"Hey, @CodesNotHot, this app is not working at all! Can you please look at it right now!! This is URGENT!"
I test the app, it's working fine.
I just want to high five someone with a machete on the face right now.2 -
My boss once decided to employ a team of developers from Ukraine because it was cheap.
I worked with these people (remote) for years and their humuor, hard work mentality and intelligence impressed me.
They became my friends and i have visited them in Poltava many time since.
Please fight for Ukraine! A lot of great devs are there!1 -
When it's 5AM, you had zero sleep and your deadline is in 3 hours: Oh loard my saviour php, please - PLEASE just let my peace of shit code work for once. *reloads page*
Error message appears. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCK!3 -
Another project done in 3 days
https://txstc55.github.io/image-wor...
Generates word cloud based on image and text file user given, the default is Lincoln and his speeches.
Doesn’t work on phones, please view it on desktop/laptop
My god I’m a fucking legend
12 -
Please forgive me father, for I have sinned. I turned on light theme on DevRant, for the dark one doesn’t work that well in the sun9
-
Some people just lack so much independence, damnit!
Einmal mit Profis arbeiten ... ! (*) 😒
(*) German expression that expresses depending on tone or context a mild to severe frustration as well as the desire to work with qualified people just ... once?! Maybe?! Please?! Often used in IT and dev contexts, because - you know.12 -
Been working with Git every day for the last 3 years and never had a problem with it.
Enters Windows.Stash changes, tries a simple stash apply:
error: cannot stat *file_name*: Permission denied
Please tell me you are fucking kidding me.. I did not just fucking lose all that work..
:q life5 -
Online applications are so much worse than the classic snail mail ones, because some companies just don't seem to give a single fuck about the quality of their application application (hehe).
This results in such joyous things like:
• "Allowed file types: doc, docx, pdf, jpg, zip"
• "Max filesize 3mb"
• "One of your files does not meet the requirements" (doesn't tell you which)
• "Upload timed out, please try again"
• 403 forbidden
• "Your account does not have the necessary permissions to upload more than 4 files at once"
• clicking the submit button leads to a 404
• "Please explain why you want to work for us." 500 character limit
• Google forms2 -
First day out of 10 exam days today! Have to use windows which I'm obviously not a fan of but oh well I'll manage.
But really, at first it didn't recognize my headphones (regular headphones input). Fair enough, after the admin fiddled around for half an hour we got it working.
*lets install Firefox and chrome*
The installers wouldn't launch at all, bit of fiddling around aaand it works.
*lets use Ms word again then*
Every time I try to save a file it gives shit tons of errors.
Found out that it does save but only with those errors.
*alright let's open up some pdf files*
"Error: no permission to use this application*
Oh come the fuck on just work I've got important stuff to do with a lot of time pressure!
I DON'T MIND USING IT ONCE IF I HAVE TO BUT COULD THAT COCK SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT JUST FUCKING WORK?!
The worst part, I wasn't the only one with trouble, multiple people still don't have the jackplug thing working :/1 -
* Yesterday:*
PM: Yes, so, could you please do those changes on this page tomorrow by 3 pm and push to prod?
Me: Yeah sure! Noted :) (task is to "untick" a checkbox in a page's settings on our CMS)
* the next day -- 11 am *
PM: erm yes so please can you do the changes I told you about, it's getting urgent and you didn't start it already and it stresses the hell out of me because today is friday and it needs to be up and running fine for Monday 12pm and you don't work on weekend so I'd like yo-
Me:
2 -
A conversation with my dear sister...
She: Hey Davide, why does this message appear?
Message of youtube: "This video is not available in your country"
Me: It means that whoever uploaded the video wants to reproduce it only in the country chosen by him during the upload.
She: Ah, but how can I do to see it?
Me: You have to go through a proxy. Wait a minute... I arrive...
She: But using the incognito mode could not work?
Me: No 😑😑
Me (thinking): No please... no... please... what was the question? No...
I like you anyway ❤3 -
Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.
Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..
I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.5 -
I've been sitting and staring at my code for two hours.
Actual work done - nil
This has been going on since three days now.
Tying not to panic. It has happened before. This phase should end in the next couple of days....
Don't panic please.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight...3 -
Dear brain, could u please work?
"No you motherfugging arsehole, scratch the sand out of your vagina and make yourself your own processor. Fuck u."
Seems like it's the jolly season of "my brain is uncooperative and unwilling".1 -
Devs: Can we please get adequate hardware to do our job correctly? Please, just a new set of larger monitors.
Lower management: Sure, this is going to be easy.
Upper management: Wait what? This will cost us around 500€ times 10? Any maybe in the end other departments will want that to, so make it times 100.
We're a 4+ billion company ... but yes, please, I love scroll bars and they make my work so much faster.4 -
Need to send a mail to a more senior member of the team. Could use a hand translating the below into something more work appropriate.
"You have reached a new level of wrong, you insufferable prick, please just shut up and leave"11 -
Pair programming is cool but please... if you're done with your work and nobody ask you for help or a pair programming session.. don't go to the most busy collegue and start working on his problem.. maybe he is debugging/trying some special and ultra complex functionality on his own! Try to ask if someone needs help before jumping to the next desk!
- Thaanks2 -
*Me testing my api with vue.js*
Me: can you please update salesforce content and add new image.
Coworker: Done,image updated:
Me: did you click the sync button? Image seems to be not loading.
Co-worker: why don't you clear your browsing history and clear your cache.
Me: (talking to myself: you are asking me to clear my cache? ME? ME? ME?) Smiles back to coworker.
Co-worker: Did it work?
Me: Nope! Seems to it that you have not sync the content on salesforce. Please hit the sync button.
Co-worker: I did!
Me: I ask co-worker B he said content is not sync.1 -
While working on generic enterprise code: querying databases, calling third-party APIs and just passing data around, I'm thinking: "PLEASE LET ME DO SOME THINKING, LET ME WORK ON SOME HARD ALGORITHM OR SOMETHING!"
When finally working on 'some hard algorithm or something', I'm thinking: "ARGH! MY HEAD ACHES! GIVE ME RELEASE! LET ME WORK ON SOME MINDLESS ENTERPRISE CODE!"1 -
Christmas 🌲 party at work tonight. It's going to be boring since we are only 9 staffs.
Please give me a good reason so I can ditch this party? The best one I have so far is "I have shit in my pants. going home to cleanup and change. I will come back."9 -
Soooo... This happened
Then I got to fill a Google form, there they're asking my hourly price. I've never done such *paid* work. I'm a 2nd year undergrad, what price should I set?
Please help!
10 -
Not dev, but IT...
Just found out that one section of my place of work still uses floppy disks. No I’m not fucking kidding. The other sad part? We still have the outdated computers to read them. 😩😂
Please, send help or a job application...5 -
Someone please explain to me how you can become vice president of an internet company and have no fucking clue about simple database logic. Not only that, but then ask developers for query logic that is literally impossible and waste weeks fucking around trying to get it to work the way your deranged mind has shit out these absurd concepts.4
-
Helping this lady with her Microsoft Access work. Wrote some complex Visual Basic script to make the database look pretty. This is what she is asking:
"Hey, where did you get all this code from? YouTube? Can you please send me the link?"
ffs I'm a dev, why the fuck do you think I need YouTube for this simple VBA script.3 -
Client writes a bug report: This and that doesn't work.
Me: This functionality never was implemented. Please open a feature request.
Client: But this is a bug. Without this feature, the service won't work as we expect.
Me: But this wasn't in the requirements for release. So you have to contact the PM for a feature request.
Client: THIS IS A BUG! FIX IT!
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF! THIS IS A NEW FEATURE AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!
Unfortunately, I never sent the mail. But I kept it in the drafts. Maybe someday...1 -
Work: We're gonna add another project to you. Nice, so thats 3 now. Oh, and get 2 of them done by the end of this month please. Thanks.
Me: ...
Me: ha ha ha3 -
!Rant
Fun fact:
The SENIOR backend developer at the company I used to (as of today) work has a degree in economics and business and his only experience has been a trainee position.
No more startups please.... Seriously.... Just.... Don't... No... 😰😰😰😵😵5 -
@Baguette is apparently a professional sleeper, please teach me, I need an expert in this domain, I can't stand going to work with barely 4~ hours of sleep / night
5 -
@devrant can I have a shirtless avatar please? Because that's how I work most of the time at home.3
-
nobody in my team works at my location. they are all at different sites of the world.
can i have the option to work 100% remote please?
my company:
no :-)
oh, it is soooo hard to recruit new team members :-) what in the world could we possibly do??5 -
I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.
My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.
Shoot me please.
Paradise lost. -
Anti malware Service Executable
Can the cunt who programmed this please witness the random carnage their piece of shit causes on my work desktop ?
Granted it’s windows but seriously…4 -
Sometimes I hate it to be a "computer-guy". There is this one beautiful girl, I see her everyday in the train, but I just can't talk to her. I hate myself for not just saying " Hi" or whatever. I'd love to "just say something", but it doesn't work! Why the fuck am I thinking this much?!
Any tips? From dev to dev? Please?!33 -
To all people who hardcoded stuff like tables in HTML and even rant about how much work this was or how many lines of code they wrote, please stop the madness, please don't talk until you get the basics of programming and why computers are quite handy to handle repetitive tasks.4
-
CTO for the picture.
This is so real, people are having a bad time because of the covid-19, productivity could be affected by this, my colleagues are having a hard time since they cant realy separate work from work anymore, the situation is hard as it is, i hope we all get through this.
Please Give Loving Comments below so i can show this to my dev/non dev friends that are having a hard time.
12 -
daily.
PM/PO/SM/dev(new!): so i've continued working on feature X, i did this and that (shows screenshot of UI in Jira) and for today i'm planning to do XYZ. anyquestionsnothennextoneplease.
me: sorry, i have a question. did you persist your changes in our repo?
PM: no, not yet.
me: okay, please do this, you've spent several days of work on this. i mean, it's fine if build servers don't build it yet, that's what our feature branches are for.
PM: you're absolutely right, and i will definitely do it at some point.
me: at some point?
PM: yes. dev x, your update please.9 -
Dear human being listening to music in the elevator. I understand that justin bieber song might mean something to you, but please, turn the volume down.
That's not the first thing we want to hear when we come to work.8 -
I love arriving at work to see in a mail that a co-worker is literally saying "please test things before delivering it"
Like I did it, it worked, and most importantly, it's their part of the code that had a problem.
Fuck off, learn how to communicate without reproaching stuff you should have done before1 -
Keeping myself from getting bored af at work. I am a backend engineer doing mostly frontend. And right now it ain't even the interesting stuff. I am merely passing photoshop files to static displays.
Kill me. Every once in a while I do maintenance on Java and PHP apps, but still...bored.....more Rails or Django please -
Well, it took me 7 hours but I finally made it.
I have a functional Arch Linux installation on my new laptop.
oh except the audio fails from time to time but it'll work eventually
and my hard disk starts clicking whenever I reboot even though I keep disabling its "power management"
and for fucks sake will you please mount my usb when i tell you to
and my touchpad doesn't work
but I can code and play games on it so whatever it's functional10 -
I want to be the laziest person in the world. So, I'm always creating automation scripts to make my work easier. But after 2+ years of doing automation, they seem mediocre. Anyone here can make ADVANCED automation scripts? (Using python or any other language)
If you have any open source automation project, please comment the link here. Want to take some inspiration. Thanks16 -
„Please do not ask any questions in the meeting next monday, I don’t want to be embarrassed!“
- The senior giving me and two colleagues an introduction into his field of work...
WTF1 -
All this talk about "mansplaining" is actually quite useful when you get boring, non-developer related please-work-for-free questions,
- Can you tell me how to get this printer working?
- Sorry, but no. That would be mansplaining.1 -
god i despise these "javascript is bad" articles. everyone seems to be jumping onto that train ever since the WAT talk.
javascript is a *weakly* typed language with implicit type conversions, that's why `{} + []` gives you `0`.
it is not easy to be the most widely used language, and to maintain compatibility across varying platforms.
please think twice before dismissing hard work.
/rant34 -
Me: You provided the wrong credentials for AWS. That’s why it won’t work. Please provide updated ones using document I emailed you last month.
Client: I forgot how to do that. Will you be free tonight after 9pm?
Me:.....
Yes. This really just happened. No. I am not doing it unless they pay hourly. -
I sincerely cannot live through another daylight saving time change. I cannot. Please, oh politicans, have mercy upon me. My work deals with 5 different time zones. PLEASE5
-
Took some time off with the Mrs for our crotch goblin's first birthday and it was wonderful. I properly switched off for the first time since he was born, barely touched a keyboard, went outside, slept. I felt great.
But Jesus H Christ trying to get my mind back into work mode is a slow and difficult process. More coffee please.5 -
Will be offline for few days.
If you see me like/comment to your post or post any rant until next month, please mention me there with "gitlog do your work or you'll not make it"5 -
Please do not make assumptions..
When you create a world class e-shop and if you detect a person is browsing from some EU country, don't assume he's fluent in Spanish [?].
Aliexpress detects I'm from LT and I have no idea how to change my language. I don't understand spanish enough to find langg settings and changing the url does not work
17 -
Please, please, please stop cornering me at the water cooler and asking me about work. This is my break.. I can answer your question in five minutes when I’m back at my desk. Thanks.4
-
Please, can someone explain the term "enterprise" to me. I work in a corporation, I hear it twice a week, I develop it, and still have no idea what it means.13
-
A genuine request to everyone who loves devRant.Our very own @chaosesqueteam and his team of a bazillion bots is begging for our help. Please give him some deserving reviews for all the hardwork he has done here on his beloved project so more people are aware what kind of work he does.
https://sourceforge.net/projects/...85 -
I really like to help people with programming related issues/questions if they are stuck after research. BUT PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE YOUR ERROR/PROBLEM. "Doesn't work" is not helpful at all an shows no effort was taken to try to figure out the problem yourself. FUCK YOU.2
-
I feel so stressed at work right now.
QA signed off on a fix I made, I signed off on a fix I made, and other people signed off on the fix, but it gets out to production and people find it's broken, I get the finger pointed at me.
It's really stressing me out, especially when our client needs custom logic to make their use cases work, and the BE and FE are scrambling to make it work.
It's really affecting the way I work and I don't know what to do. I talked to my boss and he just tells me to "stay positive". Someone please help me.11 -
Do you live alone? Do you work hard and barely have time to do things?
Please tell me how you eat 3 meals of healthy food. If you do of course..9 -
Everyone here deals with recruiters.. I get it can't be an easy job but can you at least see where I work at currently??? Im actually one of the devs that take the time to thank you for reaching out even if I'm not interested. Please extend the same respect for my time as I do you.
9 -
When you got hired
HR: please come to us if there's any problems related work so that we can give a solution.
After years of working you send a mail with you problems, it's been months. Still no reply! And try to avoid conversation regarding that problem.2 -
And here's that app.css single file that my predecessor left for entire project. It's the second work he left a treat for me.
Kill me please.
Btw the code looks like it's been written by a second grade kid...
4 -
So I work at a digital agency and the second my manager heard Twitter had upped its character limit he started planning out all the new hashtags and emojis he’s going to include to max out the limit.
Please Twitter, stop.1 -
Please don't mutter your ideas on calls or trail it off mid sentence to mouse level's of sound 🐁.
It's so awkward having to ask what you've said every few moments.
*Especially* if we work together all day all week
N.B. speakers on max volume + auto-captions are already on so I can piece together what you said.
Conversations are so difficult otherwise
That is all3 -
A message to designers and developers:
please please please stop being so touchy about your designs/software. The final work is meant to be used/enjoyed by end users, customers, clients, young people, old people, disabled people, short attention span people, irrational people, patient people etc. So if they say it's not good enough accept it go back and make it simpler (not necessarily better but simpler) and move on!!
Stop going into defence mode and start throwing your toys out the pram or giving people the silent treatment.
Sorry just been on the receiving end and boy is childish.1 -
!rant
Freelance web developers: please talk about yourselves.
How much experience did you have at the beginning?
How did you get started and was it much work to get set up?
How do you find a constant stream of clients?
Do you make a living wage just from your freelance work?
Any other information you'd like to share is appreciated.18 -
If you're not going to update your API documentation please just delete it. I spent two hours trying to use the example only to discover SECRET REST PARAMETERS that solved my problem.
If it weren't for the hero bitching in the comments about the missing documentation I would never have gotten this to work.2 -
Manifesto for class naming
Through my work as a professional developer, I have come to value:
ComponentMapper over ComponentMappingService
TransactionalSequencer over TransactionalSequencingService
PayrollCsvGenerator over PayrollCsvService
InternalTestRunCreator over InternalService
Please people, just call them what they are. Forget the noise words and fluff. To quote Morpheus:
“Stop trying to name me and NAME me” -
Spent an hour and a half debugging why binders are not working on my Asp.Net project to end up finding out that my controller was missing:
[Route("[controller]")]
attribute at the beginning
Life is wonderful :)2 -
I don’t understand how Microsoft can continue to ship functionality in modern versions of SharePoint that only work on IE11 (open in Explorer, open in InfoPath, Skype presence integration). The only reason my company has to make web apps compatible with that browser is because of the hot garbage that is IE11. Just kill the functionality and kill the browser. Please.
Yes I know *why* they only work in IE11, it’s because activex is a massive security hole, but just kill the functionality if you can’t recreate it in modern browsers.1 -
[LinkedIn, Recruiter InMail]
Hello,
I am Lazy As Fuck, and I'm looking for people to work for a company that pays me for doing nothing.
Do you know anyone that is an Angular developer? If you do, please tell them to send me their resume and phone number.
Thanks.2 -
I cannot work on my personal project this weekend.. because the fucking IT team gave me a fucking mac charger yesterday and it fuckin stopped working today.. FUCKING waste of a weekend!!!!
I guess I will be gaming for the next 48 hours.. on my windows PC..
(And please don't say Linux Rocks in the comments coz I had to work on an iOS app..)12 -
any fucker who has written code for the indian ewaybill portal needs to be fucking assassinated. couldn't even get a simple aspx login page to work. motherfuckers.
They just display a message that if we are having troubles we should try clearing our cache.
Like for fucks sake build it properly. This is the main source of income for this fucking nation, probably.
- the password reset doesn't work.
- the userid reset doesn't work.
- sometimes i show up as not registered. i just fucking transacted yesterday you buffoons.
- there is an error alert, that says "error". i god fucking know there is an error. please fucking tell how may we please your ass to bypass those fucking errors 😭.
fuck every developer that works for that portal 😤. Good for nothings.
thanks for creating devrant, dfox and trogus. feels better now 😌.7 -
Desk inventory(not counting computer hardware):
-Three interlocking polished high density particle board squares, cut by an industrial-grade 3d printer at the office of an architect friend. I use them as coasters.
-A roll of toilet paper, as I have a deviated septum and blow my nose so often that proper facial tissue would be wasteful.
-A landline phone, for work. I'm thinking about getting rid of it though, as I can do the majority of my work phone calls through Google Hangouts and our company's webrtc client, and because it costs me about $7 a month for the service, through ooma.
What's on your desk? No computer hardware, please. Also, please try to use your words, because it's a lot of fun to imagine the layout rather than see it.6 -
Last week i couldn't use a website to download a product because it failed on every browser and even with addons deactivated. The error said "please input the version" and version is a checkbox.
Wrote to support.
Me: "Download does not work! It gives error xyz. How can i get the product?"
Support : "Oh, you can easily get it from our download page."
Do you even read your mails?!? -
A: Please build a Website for our new product.
A: Please use fancy technology, Animations and stuff!
B: OK, but $_things won't Work on mobile
A: mobile is Not our target audience. No Problem, optimize it for big Screens only.
B: it's 2017 - we need a mobile optimized Page, are u sure?
A: yes, so what i say
A week later...
B: hey a, here is Your preview. Optimized for big Screens, and i didn't Care much about mobile.
A: HEY B, YOU NEED TO FIX $FUNCTIONS ASAP!! THEY DON'T WORK ON MOBILE -
Companies that make things devs have to work with: please stop trying to implement your own version of markdown. I don't want to memorize 3 different ways of making links6
-
only took about 50 millennia, but i finally have windows 1903 on my work laptop... without exaggeration, took about 25 hours over three days to update, with two failures
someone end my existence, please and thank you5 -
**phone rings**
- Hello
- Hi. I am calling from *some MNC*. We have a job opportunity for you. Do you have any plans to switch?
- What's the domain?
- It's asp.net and Xamarin.
- Sorry, I do not work on that anymore. Please let me know if you have any openings in Python.
**phone rings again**
- Hello
- Hi. I am calling from *another MNC*. We have a job opportunity for you. Do you have any plans to switch?
- What's the domain?
- It's python.
- Sorry, I do not work on that anymore. Please let me know if you have any openings in asp.net.
My story for last four years. I guess I have found the most humble way to reject the job calls.6 -
At first I was like "meh.. SASS is not really that different from css really.. maybe this wont even help any.."
But now I'm like "dude holy shit please never let me work without SASS/SCSS again!" :D -
!rant
Lights in the bathroom at work are on a movement sensor.
I'm in the shitter browsing devRant.
The lights go out.
tl;dr I'm pants down in the dark right now someone please send help.2 -
Hey guys i made an online stock market simulator. It won't work but I just want the feed back of the game's frontend. I used Vue.js 2. Please give your feedback in the feedback tab inside the game. I used the templates from creative Tim. Link for the game http://dalalbull.deeaarbee.tech14
-
How many boring monotonous corporate meetings, leading to no helpful conclusion or action item, is too many in a day?
Jesus please I just want to work!!!9 -
I just mistakenly replaced 48 hours of work with the old files... I think i'm gonna die. Someone please help me if you can.7
-
Scenario after sending a build to QA:
(Monday)
Me: How's the build? did that app worked?
.
.
.
.
.
(here come's friday)
QA: The app didnt work on this part and there some bugs there, and please add this another module.
Me: okay ill fix that..when do you need it?
QA: today
Me: (just kill me)3 -
“I’ve tried everything, it won’t work. I HAVE to do it this __insert-stupid-dev-fuckery-here__ way”
Hmmmm 🤔 ok have you tried getting down on your hands and knees and walking around like a little piggy begging daddy to rough you up and put you in a pen?!? Because that’s what your gonna need to do for me to forgive you. Please please please just try to THINK about it before you do ANYTHING6 -
First time in years I've ended up in my old pub...
Got a message from work:
"Can you please look at this order?"
(screenshot with badly synced orderlines)
*looks via 4G*
nothing wrong, was fixed by customer
quickly send a message back:
"Nothing wrong, might need to refresh your page. I see the products..
Oh, and cheers... I'm not at home for once..."
(adds pic)
2 -
Guys I work for myself and its great (love being my own boss) but after covid I decided to look for work for some company because financial stability is everything in this life
Last job I had, I quit because the boss asked me to make coffee sometimes. We had a good relationship but fuck that 'can you make me a coffee', go make yourself a coffee..
Please god give me patiece..
Pray for me 😅13 -
!Rant
Java devs, here is an ugly but handy REPL web frontend for you. JShell FTW!
http://137.74.64.141/jshell-fronten...
Please note this uses Websockets, so not guaranteed to work on all browsers
7 -
helping colleagues like a troll:
AAA: anyone know what the blabla_type_id column is for in the trololo table please?
AAA: oh and blabla_order while we're at it :)
BBB: ask AAA .... he always knows these
AAA: :)
ME: I would say the first one is id of blabla type and the second one blabla order, isnt it? :)
AAA: you two should work in support :)
#yourewellcome #allwaysapleasure2 -
Would you devs rather work for a government or for a company?
Incl. Apprenticeship.
Please reason your answers. Thanks.10 -
That feature that needed to be taken live asap. Who's priority was set the highest. For which i had to stop the code i was developing, to work on that.
Post going to production, one month's passed and the feature still awaits there in its lonely world to be used by someone, anyone.
Please use it.1 -
Me: I have very perfect reason why I did not come to work to day .
Client: Please state your reason .
Me: its silly I don't wanna talk about it.
Client: please do
Me: my index fingers are hurting
Client: why
Me: what do you mean why I was tying to git push heroku master
But every time some json dependency failed -
I don't think devrant would work very well in landscape orientation, but could we please get reverse portrait orientation?
I don't know shit about app development but I'm pretty sure that is an option.8 -
Web developers, please recommend a tech stack. I have work experience in Laravel, Angular and Node Express. Personal small experience only for Vue and React.
Frontend: Angular, React or Vue?
Backend: Node Adonis JS or PHP Laravel?
CSS framework: Angular Material(angular), Material-UI, Tailwind CSS or Bootstrap?
This is for a personal project API based. What frontend backend tech stack are you using right now? Thanks!24 -
var manual = '.... use chrome...';
User: "Hey this thing is broken, can you fix it?"
Me: "Works just fine for me, what browser are you using?"
User: "Edge, why?"
..... god I hate browsers.... rtfm bitch.. make my life easier please?...
Sometimes I wish I only did back end work...9 -
Okay, guys, please help me. My stickers arrived but the laptop I'm currently working on is shitty. So I'm afraid of putting them on the laptop, because maybe I won't work with it anymore in a year or so. Where should I put them??? :/
6 -
Indie game devs: I have a couple of questions for you guys, sorry for my naivity and the subjectivity of some of the questions.
Is it as fun as it sounds?
Do you work as a team?
What tech/language do you use?
What platform/os do you produce games for?
Is your primary income from making games?
Im asking because I would like to get into it, but want to get a realistic view of what it's like.
Thanks guys. Please also take this chance to post your work.4 -
Finally managed to get my website up and running after a week of going back and forth with Hostgator. I'm really excited about it even though I know it's not quite ready and needs more work.
Even so, please have a look and tell me what you think :)
www.rodev.org14 -
Heyo fellow i3wm-users.
Please give me some inspiration for my next setup.
What are your color-settings do you have,
What applauncher do you use,
What programs work really well with i3 or something completely different?5 -
IntelliJ, IntelliJ I love you but please tell me why making a jsp file from scratch doesn't work in the servlet but your template for a jsp does. It makes no fugging sense to me. StackOverflow doesn't know and I went there for help.
I was debugging that shit for 5 hours today over an issue that was fixed in 3 minutes. I need ice cream.
2 -
I secretly hate customer support and I'm ashamed about that. I secretly hate my work every morning for a couple of hours just for that. Please, don't judge. I just had to say it somewhere :)4
-
CATCH2 PLEASE DO YOU FUCKING WORK.
I HAD TO REWRITE MY FUCKING THING TWO TIMES BECAUSE YOU FUCKING RUN MY TEST CASES WEIRDLY THUS MAKING MY THINGY NOT WORK3 -
I am a frontend dev but please don’t trust me 100% with responsive, works in every browser, animation heavy, top of the line, UIs.
Also I don’t know how to work with Wordpress.
Also don’t ask me questions about Webpack, Node, or anything related to builds/configs. (I will be happy to google search my answers for you tho)
But I am a frontend dev.5 -
In work we use TFS (no judgement please) but I love creating shelvesets with obtuse names like
"The Evil Is everywhere in here"
"Dragons within"
"I See the Devil in this Code"2 -
My new shitty lenovo work laptop, running windows 7 on 4 gigs of ram made in the last decade, suddenly decided to run windows updates from 6 months ago, and is currently running update 7/22. Which it's been doing for literally 4 hours.
If someone's country legally allows euthanasia, please let me know.7 -
The conversations that come across my DevOps desk on a monthly basis.... These have come into my care via Slack, Email, Jira Tickets, PagerDuty alerts, text messages, GitHub PR Reviews, and phone calls. I spend most of my day just trying to log the work I'm being asked to do.
From Random People:
* Employee <A> and Contractor <B> are starting today. Please provision all 19 of their required accounts.
* Oh, they actually started yesterday, please hurry on this request.
From Engineers:
* The database is failing. Why?
* The read-only replica isn't accepting writes. Can you fix this?
* We have this new project we're starting and we need you to set up continuous integration, deployment, write our unit tests, define an integration test strategy, tell us how to mock every call to everything. We'll need several thousand dollars in AWS resources that we've barely defined. Can you define what AWS resources we need?
* We didn't like your definition of AWS resources, so we came up with our own. We're also going to need you to rearchitect the networking to support our single typescript API.
* The VPN is down and nobody can do any work because you locked us all out of connecting directly over SSH from home. Please unblock my home IP.
* Oh, looks like my VPN password expired. How do I reset my VPN password?
* My GitHub account doesn't have access to this repo. Please make my PR for me.
* Can you tell me how to run this app's test suite?
* CI system failed a build. Why?
* App doesn't send logs to the logging platform. Please tell me why.
* How do I add logging statements to my app?
* Why would I need a logging library, can't you just understand why my app doesn't need to waste my time with logs?
From Various 3rd party vendors:
* <X> application changed their license terms. How much do you really want to pay us now?
From Management:
* <X> left the company, and he was working on these tasks that seem closely related to your work. Here are the 3 GitHub Repos you now own.
* Why is our AWS bill so high? I need you to lower our bill by tomorrow. Preferably by 10k-20k monthly. Thanks.
* Please send this month's plan for DevOps work.
* Please don't do anything on your plan.
* Here's your actual new plan for the month.
* Please also do these 10 interruptions-which-became-epic-projects
From AWS:
* Dear AWS Admin, 17 instances need to be rebooted. Please do so by tomorrow.
* Dear AWS Admin, 3 user accounts saw suspicious activity. Please confirm these were actually you.
* Dear AWS Admin, you need to relaunch every one of your instances into a new VPC within the next year.
* Dear AWS Admin, Your app was suspiciously accessing XYZ, which is a violation of our terms of service. You have 24 hours to address this before we delete your AWS account.
Finally, From Management:
* Please provide management with updates, nobody knows what you do.
From me:
Please pay me more. Please give me a team to assist so I'm not a team of one. Also, my wife is asking me to look for a new job, and she's not wrong. Just saying.3 -
Suggestion please!
I work basically on native android applications. From last week I started exploring cross platform and chose React native. I have zero knowledge on JS. And now it seems very hard to grab. I started a project and learning whatever I'm needing on that purpose. Some props I'm shooting blindly and components I don't even understand clearly how they are working.
Please suggest me a convenient way or guide me with some resources to alleviate my frustration! Pretty please!4 -
I've never had to put up with bullshit after bullshit after FUCKING BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE
ONE THING GOES WRONG SO I MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE OH SHIT I LOST THE CORD, FOUND IT, DOESNT WORK, FIX THAT, "COULD NOT EXPAND FILESYSTEM PLEASE TRY RASPI CONFIG" BLAH BLAH. I WAKE UP THINKING TODAY WILL GO SMOOTHLY BUT LINUX DECIDES TO FUCK ME OVER THEN I TRY TO GO TO THE PI BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO JUST REFUSES TO WORK6 -
Hey documentation providers! Some of us don't want to have to go to slow ass websites to look up everything about your code, system, library, api, etc. It also really sucks when trying to work on those systems without an internet connection. So, please provide offline documentation.
A special thank you to Python for providing help files with Python itself. This has been a life saver when working offline.
Also a special fuck you to Bethesda for not providing an offline version of the Creation Kit wiki. Everything else you do is nice, but please provide offline docs.11 -
Any FL Studio 12 users here?
I am struggling to make the super simple Piano Roll to work.
If you want to help me about 5 mins, please leave a comment.
Thanks!11 -
My team: please read that article about blameless postmortems, there's a lot we could take on board to improve team morale
My team extra-passive-aggressive at the first incident: why did you do that? That was never gonna work3 -
Well I would say a pretty humbling experience was my last job interview where my new boss and hr guy were truly shared by my skills and then the first day at work where my boss said please do this decision, I really need an opinion by an experienced developer like you as I am not sure which one is the better one.1
-
I used to work for a consultancy that specialised in a very niche area (I won't say what – this is traceable enough already!). We charged our clients a very high hourly rate, because demand and supply. All the time I'd get calls like the following:
"Please could you just make this small change to the deployment?"
"Yes, of course. You don't have any contract hours left, so I'll just forward you to our billing department so you can sort out the payment first"
"Ah okay, please can you tell us how to do it"
[Even if I explained it, you wouldn't be able to do it – that's why you're coming to us.]
"...or better yet, just do it as a quick fix outside of work?"
[So... work for no pay? No thanks.]
While my company always had my back on these requests (obviously, they wanted payment too), they were so frequent that I got sick of it.1 -
To the SysAdmins and Linux-Engineers here,
How you got into your job?
I'm a Linux-Fanboy by heart and love tinkering and fiddling with systems, so I want to work in the field?
Please tell me, how you got into your job, and how it is to work in the field.6 -
As an ex-manager I now realize standups are used for control.
1. It sets a time when everyone must be present (might as well read-out names like it's school)
2. You, the manager, get to have people giving "offerings" of their work for you to approve, deny or bless with your gracious interest ("can you please stay on the call? lets discuss further")8 -
!dev
Please enjoy this customer review I intercepted. Guess the company type and name that requested the feedback.
"______ drivers liberally show how bad it is to work for these companies.
Three quarters of all packages arrive damaged.
They park wherever they want.
No regard for traffic, people, property nor parcels.
Redefining rock bottom.
Not this delivery. Always. Everywhere. For a strong decade now."10 -
When your IT VP starts speaking blasphemy:
"Team,
We all know what’s going on with the API. Next week we may see 6x order volumes.
We need to do everything possible to minimize the load on our prod database server.
Here are some guidelines we’re implementing immediately:
· I’m revoking most direct production SQL access. (even read only). You should be running analysis queries and data pulls out of the replication server anyway.
· No User Management activities are allowed between 9AM and 9PM EST. If you’re going to run a large amount of updates, please coordinate with a DBA to have someone monitoring.
· No checklist setup/maintenance activities are allowed at all. If this causes business impact please let me know.
· If you see are doing anything in [App Name] that’s running long, kill it and get a DBA involved.
Please keep the communication level high and stay vigilant in protecting our prod environment!"
RIP most of what I do at work.3 -
So, I was doing some basic engineering project at uni with a teammate but we didn't realize that we were working in a detacted head state in git (due to poor set up of the working environment on his part).
After a 3,5 hours of work, we need to push to the repo and we get an error.
I take control to try to understand what was going on, and in doing so, I (mistakenly?) check out to another branch.
Git garbage collector kicks in and we can't checkout to the previous branch anymore (where all the work was made).
My friend panics and calls the professor, who explains to us how we lost everything and there is "a 100% no hope of recovering our work".
Felt like poop. But wasn't satisfied. I had read somewhere that you don't lose stuff so easily on git. Went home.
After five minutes I was able to recover everything through git reflog feature.
Moral #1: professors should know about the existence of reflog
Moral #2: please use git plug-in in your bash /zsh. Please.1 -
Still haven't got used to 'work hours'.. I'm on my very first job (Software Developer for a large corp) since November. Mon-Fri 0900-1800 (with 1 hour break). I go home tired. Wake up tired. Please my fellow devs. Motivate me.8
-
A peace of work to be done within 2 weeks for 3 devs
1 dev gets pulled off the team, the other decides now is a good time to take a 2 week holiday
So am the only one left and because the designs weren't even ready for the first week i only had a week to do it, i managed to finish it with some defect obviously, and testing oh yes the testing non, non whatsoever. Only test i had were snapshots. Other than that, nothing. So the demo seemed to please everyone and the whole team got praised for some gr8 work, work that was estimated for 3 but done by one and hah no testing...yet1 -
I have no burnouts. I dont have kids, I'm full of energy, I'm ready to crush it. BUT every goddamn time i come to a company they run out of work/clients/projects. I end up doing nothing or some video tuts, and then change the company. I WANNA WORK! GIVE ME SOME REACT WORK, PLEASE! I WANNA FEEL DEADLINE PRESSURE! I WANNA COMPLAIN THAT I HAVE BURNOUT! I'M TIRED OF VIDEO COURSES AND TO-DO APPS!
I'm paid money to do nothing. As appealing as it sounds, it's not when you're a junior dev trying to get some experience.
Am I doing something wrong??? -
Deleting 3 weeks worth of work through incorrectly stashing and popping changes. I don't know why it was a good idea to leave my changes untracked.
Please hold me Devrant community.4 -
So Thursday our first beta client is supposed to go live. Tomorrow there is a team meeting to discuss the status. Team lead wasn't in at work last Thursday and Friday and gave me his work to finish, which I need to proceed with mine. I hardly made progress on it. So now I have to tell him about that tomorrow. And I'm dreading it so hard. More so because for some reason HR/support sits in on our meetings and will be on my ass again I'm not meeting deadlines. I did say last week it looked like it wouldn't be done in time but I was told it just needs to happen because the release date was already announced. So yeah the coming week is going to suck. And I'm on leave myself this coming Friday so I expect people to explode. I know I should just stop caring and get on with job searching but the whole injustice of being set up for failure by others and then being blamed really makes me mad.3
-
When I work entire night I use my short profile keyboard not to make any noise, but in holidays my mom wakes up and tries her best to makes all kind of noises, after I give up and wake up, she goes to her room to read her book!
Dear God! Please eat me!1 -
So after having a rather shit day at work I notice that my phone (samsung s7 edge) is at 50% and indecide to fast charge it...then i notice it "Fast charging, 55 minutes till ready" great....fucking....great. please don't tell me that the battery is fuckd up...i really do not need this
-
Hey, i'm just a guy and I develop applications and study at the same time, so I dont work...
In a lot of post I read words like IT jobs, 'editing code in production', could someone please explain me their meaning? Thank you3 -
Is it just me, or do other people feel like mysqli prepared statements like to never work the same way twice?
I just finished a 3 hour debugging session where the prepared statement just didn't work. Then, just moments ago, I commented out an "echo" that has nothing to do with the fucking statement! And guess what? It works.
one moment please, I need to let my anger out.
GAAAAAAAA YOU FUCKING STUPID COMPUTER! YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!
and to the people who made mysqli...
I HATE YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!
*sigh*
Ok, I'm back.
Anyways,
I don't know how, but I think php can smell anger and loves to make life miserable.
Please tell me I'm not the only one. -
My body decided to work against me
Last 3 days my “sleep schedule” has been “stay in bed with eyes closed until it’s morning without falling asleep”
If I go insane please tell my dog she was adopted. Ah… insanity is starting to kick in, next steps I’m defending pascal and managers…2 -
Customer: It doesn't do what we wanted it to do, we have this issue, this particular usecase doean't work because you didn't use the patch we sent you. Please use it!
Me: I used most of it, I just fixed few broken parts and dropped part handling the hardware you realized you don't have and I just retested this particular usecase and it works! -
My manager is making my team fill the tasks' "completed work" field in TFS with the exact same amount of hours we were inside the company. This seems unrealistic and doesn't take in account our daily capacity of 6h. What do you guys think of this? What should I tell her to convince her otherwise? Please, help me!2
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!rant
So yesterday, I was testing some new features that I just implemented in this project at my internship. The thing did not work.
Today, I came in, literally changed nothing, opened up the test again, and now the features work perfectly fine.
I don't know how to feel about this. Veteran programmers, please give me some advice. -
Just because I didn't know the direction to work on doesn't mean I didn't do shit
Also, aren't you the professor so you please tell me what to do
And no you don't need to focus on the sample dataset I'm working on. Yes its name is "Breast Cancer" SO WHAT!!!2 -
Have you guys ever seen another dev at you work just completely lose it? How do you cope with stress, rage, frustration at work? (other than DevRant) Stories, please.7
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I get this weird itchy, antsy feeling when in the midst of doing a tedious, but precise work. Like pixel-perfect mouse operations or keyboard-intensive code refactoring.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this. -
Client deescalation needed and intervention by company leader...
Client refuses to test - too much work they say.
Client wants a lot of changes - but cannot define what.
But most frustrating... Even as we tried to with all patience that was left to find out what they were doing aka how they work, what work flows, documents and so on were involved, they basically started a team discussion and seemed to work all differently...
And the project should be a complete sale and warehouse solution, suited and written for their needs.
Really? How can a company like this work?
It's not the first time I've dealt with hard projects or 'weird' customers, but really the first time I have no fucking clue what I should do.
Can someone please summon Ctulhu?3 -
Struggling with my graduation project.
Me: "fuckfuckfuck whyy this shit won't work!"
Dude: "would you like to solve every problem with just one click?"
Me: "yes please!!"
Dude: "shoot yourself in the head :D"
Well... it's just one click... and everything will be fine... mmmh yeah.1 -
"Long" time lurker here... Doing my master's thesis, nothing works (Gaussian Mixture Models hate me) and there's less than a month left until opposition. No results, no working code, feels like I don't understand anything. I can't relax anymore, not even on the weekends. Several times I've just felt "Fuck it, let's just not do this", but I feel like I'm close to the finish line... Right now, I just wanna start working instead. I think.6
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I am getting really close to actually FINISHING the avatar editor, this took way less than I anticipated but there are still many bugs in that thing that I haven’t discovered yet and that I have already discovered.4
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If you're making code changes without a Story or Bug ID, you're doing something wrong. Take the 30 seconds and open a story to track your friggin work please.2
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!rant
This “only one more rant“ feeling when you have to sleep because you have to get up and work tomorrow very early.
Please send help.1 -
I have the concept of making and selling NFGs to people. I suppose it would use some blockchain. Some initial NFGs I would like to sell:
- I don't give a fuck.
- Don't worry, be happy.
- Live and let live.
- Shit happens.
- Whatever...bitch.
I suppose some good memes could work as well. Not just slogans.
Please add to the NFG collection.1 -
Woohoo who else has to work the weekend because of bullshit bugs?
Please let me have the energy to deal with my coworkers on Monday5 -
Microsoft, please stop the incomprehensible work vs. school account stuff and if you want to mail me a login code, then please actually do send an email. What's wrong with Microsoft Teams and office always giving its users headaches already when trying to log in?
A customer sent me a "FindTime" link, something like Calendso / Calendly, but "powered" by Microsoft Office. Seems that their power is off again, like ever so often. Microsoft: "can't access your account: You can't sign in here with a personal account. Use your work or school account instead."
Okay, go to bing, and search your error message. Try to use bing page to log in to my account: Microsoft: "We emailed a code." (No you didn't. At least I never received anything. And, yes, I did check my spam folder!) Microsoft: "Other ways to sign in: use Microsoft Authenticator".
me: "dear customer, please feel free to pick any time and date that matches your preference, as the FindTime link has been impossible to use".
How can Microsoft make me feel so dumb again, after more than 20 years as a developer? Have they ever heard about usability?10 -
So, Our company called us back to office after 8 month.. and reason was our boss is giving.. You guys may be work on bed.. It is bad for your back.. Here we will provide you better working enviornment and please do carry your laptop to office :P
But I think its okay to work from office.. Once I was excited to work from home. But dude you can learn from the person sitting next to you, discuss things around,, can see what others are doing.. Its a progress. At home you are just u and laptop :)
Personally I think its better to work under someone superior obvious he/she should be technical and egoless.. then its more fun.3 -
There is one mistake that I keep doing all over again...
First of all, there is a task I don't like. Therefore I start thinking about writing a script for it.
I write a quick solution and it does not work!
I am allways ending up with spending ways to much time on the given task...
Can someone please tell me why?1 -
What's the difference between the society I work for and some shitty drama-filled telenovela?
Well please tell me because I can't find any. -
https://devrant.com/rants/2039795/...
I find that amusing that every spam comment on devrant have been posted only in that one rant. Also I cant downvote anything... and my reports dont work. So if you can please help me downvote those fuckers.3 -
Microsoft: Do you know dateadd from SQL?
Devs: Yes of course.
Microsoft: Well you can also do that in our brilliant DAX language.
Devs: Ohhhhhh.
Microsoft: It only works with a special date table, though, and it doesn't work with a non-continuous set of dates, so please don't filter too much.
Devs: Please what??? 🤯😵
Why Microsoft, why? -
Yay! We completed this project in 8 weeks.
Collaborate with unlimited users to share your ideas and take your teamwork to the Next Level. Work together anywhere, anytime!
Check out the demo here: https://youtu.be/1lMAnxmsgKw
Check out the web app here: https://doodlelive.herokuapp.com
Please don't ignore it, let me know your feedbacks either good or bad and I would surely work to improve on it.
Thanks a lot in advance!2 -
When interviewing people still ask me if I work with Eclipse. I'm Android dev, why should I ever work with that piece of sh*t of an non-IDE?
Please just don't ask for Eclipse. No sane androider uses it. I don't like to waste my life using the worst software ever made. I would even say that no one should be using it. NetBeans is better, IntelliJ is best.2 -
at work....
windows: please restart to use newly installed tool
me: *opens menu and sees "update and restart"* NOOOoo this takes longer than usual
me: well see y'all im gonna go get some breakfast1 -
I'm at my limits with working from home. It started off really cool, but for a multitude of reasons I just need to get out of my house. I'm seriously considering renting a work space to at least go to part time. If anyone in the Denver area wants to go in on one, or is looking to rent out space, please let me know.3
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HELP!!
I am starting a new contract to create a full stack web application with a medical company that will contain some sensitive data about their clients/patients.
I have been working as a salaried full-time employee for a medical software company, but I have been shielded from any sort of lawsuits from the client (worst case scenario, I'd get fired).
Do any of you have any advice on what I should do to protect myself in terms of LLC's, Insurances, etc?2 -
Gotta work this entire weekend, including tomorrow... and then the iOS code starts acting up. Haven’t even implemented Android communications yet.
Please have mercy upon me. This is so Kirby—sucks and blows. -
should i update to macOS sierra
, can we make this post as issues that developers facing with the new update and by developer i mean not only mac developers but many developers work on mac so if there is something failing from them please comment
i think this will be useful for all of us4 -
yeah guess what
i don't live in switzerland
so obviously i can't work from there with your super fancy "4 days of work week from home (as long as it's in switzerland!!! WoW aMaZiNG" boomer plan
but you know what? let me do literally 5 seconds of research so you don't have to
please end it all4 -
I hate it when you work your ass off for the company product and they don’t even care to send the salary on time. I mean how can you expect your developers to be productive when you don’t even let them have their monthly dose of dopamine. Sometimes this delay can extend to more than one month so young developers out there, please make your decision wisely.3
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There are no program's faster in letting me jump of mountain than mysql workbench. For fuck sake, every action I need to wait for 5 seconds to let it respond. Let me do my work please.5
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I feel stupid about once or twice per day because of samll and obvious mistakes I make.
But maaan I feel dumb as fucking rock when I read the Docker documentation, I don't understand any fucking thing, and as usual, I can't find 2 websites with the same opinion about anything
I JUST WANT TO MAKE MY THING WORK, PLEASE -
Asshats in QA,
Kindly please be leaving me the fuck alone so I can work.
Fuck off,
-Rowsdower
(Sorry, 'ol Rowsdower's grumpy today.) -
!!!rant
f**king cooperate d**ckheads this ppl are work-shipped like gods who just ask stupid questions just for name sake and they don't know what the heck is going on underneath...they use fancy words like cloud/docker/etc and they please top management d**kers and this guys are top in chain...f**king cooperate political word... _|__3 -
Guys, I've been learning about XDSD and... it seems to good to be true. Anyone here has experience with it? Or has someone worked for Zerocracy and has an experience to report?
Please PLEASE tell me it's not a scam. I'd LOVE to work this way. -
!rant
Guys, any tip when looking for "Remote Development work". I am very bored at this job and want to move on urgently.
Please anything.1 -
Actually an IT company took my interview and gave me an assignment and it had to be submitted in 24 hours.. i submitted 50% of it..
And i thought many time but that task was not a work of 1 day.. any suggestions please..7 -
If you have a Google document related to this JIRA issue, can you just take the 30 seconds to flippin attach the link to the issue please? Don't make me search Google Drive to find your work.
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just completed my first side project today after one and a half months of hard work.
Check it out:-
https://git-lan-api.herokuapp.com
Please provide any suggestions and improvements.4 -
Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
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Anyone got advice with finding a job in a different country? I've always dreamed to work in a foreign country so if anyone got advice, please let me know.
I currently have 3y professional experience.5 -
Somebody please explain to Microsoft Win 10 team that normal usage of a computer should just work, home users don't have hours on end to spend on dealing with:
- BS sound drivers
- high CPU usage & diagnosing, log tracing from system processes
- many other crap you need to invest time constantly fixing or you don't have a useful machine
Windows 10 is a piece of shit7 -
If you hate jQuery because you say it's "bulky", then please explain these modern JavaScript frameworks with a bajesus of configuration to make it just work plus the node_modules.5
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This is why i hate android ... look at this REVIEW i received today:
"PLZ WORK ON IT ITS JOR WORK ON FB MESSENGER BEFORE DAYS PLEASE DO SMTHNG" what am i supposed to understand xD, i tried it on my device and my friends one its working like a charm :(3 -
Spent all afternoon trying to make CI work for my own personal website, trying out a new concept, that I call Frontend only, it restores, builds, but fails to deploy with connection dropped after a few seconds... For all of the Gods and Saints of deployment please grant me stable connections, thanks
PS: you guys at cPanel Fuck You, thanks -
I got one task left... One algorithm to solve... That's the second day I'm on it... And I need to sleep so much... Fix yourself please, let me write random lines and please work...1
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The disaster that happen when you work in a web designing and hosting agency with no technical lead. Everybody is going wild here.... Shoot me please!
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Well, this may out my secret identity to devRanters in my area, but I just submitted my first application ever to be a speaker at a local WordPress conference. The title is "The Care and Feeding of Your Web Developer". If you have a wishlist of how you wish working with employers or clients could be better, please comment and I'll work it into my talk. Thanks!
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Hi everyone,
It has been 6months since I am looking for a dev job.
I know I shouldn't post this on devrant ...
If anyone has any junior dev opportunity please ping me.
I am a tech agnostic and very adaptive.
open to learn new tech
Willing to relocate or work remotely.
Resume: https://instahyre-2.s3-ap-south-1.amazonaws.com/...7 -
"We don't have time for refactoring this PR now, please open a new task and we'll work on it asap."
Merge, Deploy, and set new task as Won'tFix two hours later :-/ -
Just pushed the last commit about a work they asked me in the last job interview. Please wish me good luck!2
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--- Before Monday morning
Relaxation level: 999
--- Monday morning
The joy to come back from small holidays... and being welcomed with "this is broken, this doesn't work, this stopped working" and writing emails the whole morning to providers "please fix dis, and dat, and dis, is broken since months"
Provider: "o sry, we didn't notice :< pliz wait next week until fixed, thnk u"
Relaxation level: NaN -
We all know that one guy at work that explains and overshare stuff using a lot of jargons for the sake of using jargons at the daily scrum. Then it turns out, he's ranting about something so trivial, basically wasted a lot of time. And don't get started on meetings. Oh god. Please send help.1
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So I'm going to work on a project with a webapp and mobile applications. I look at this monstrosity that sends username and pass as plain json and there is almost no sparation of concerns, along with very little documentation. Please save me1
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Do you think you should apply for a job you are probably not ready for to get work experience or wait till you get experience with learning?
Notes (small company, I am a student)
Please help me with this7 -
Wtf Fedora? I install the develop version of TheFuck to work on a plugin, all of a sudden dnf only runs with sudo but gives a module not found when run as normal user? Whyy?
Python import system is a bloody mess, 1 file somewhere with the wrong name and it imports the wrong thing which doesn't contain the thing and crashes.
Can't we just please have STATIC BINARIES? Please? Fml1 -
Quick Question Please.
For those of us who are in a dating relationship, how do you handle dating (someone you are sure you will want to get married to), tight work schedule and learning new things about tech???10 -
Starting a new job. The people are cool. They explain me the project. I open my computer and I’m not admin of it. Why it’s not automatic to add dev like admin of the machine. It’s fun to pass the first day of work waiting to learn the job. Please let me install my IDE and tools that I need to work with.10
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Well once someone tell you please give more effort at work and you provide your maximum then he finds it not enough.
I guess it will be more than fair to leave without any discussion.3 -
!dev
Come on, Office. First you throw me out because my "cached credentials are expired" and disable saving. Sigh. OK, let's re-login. Now you show me neverending "Loading..." Instead of a login mask.
Ugh...
May I work on my document? PLEASE?
EDIT: I'm an idiot. Saving locally works. -
Hello Devs!
I'm a huge fan of football, and I want to understand how apps like flashscore or livescore work ( feed sources, parsing data, real time notifications, etc.). Please, point me to the right direction.5 -
I really love JetBrains IDEs and I use them all day. However now the unit tests in the IDE are broken and cannot be run anymore. Please fix asap :( I can't work like this.2
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Working on an enhancement for a legacy product that's been in the industry for about fifteen years... The situation is that I fix one defect and give more pop up. I'm frustrated so much that I give up twenty times a day.
Please tell me that's how you work on legacy software 😔8 -
Which development standards and coding styles would you recommend in a development team? My colleague @jacoKotze and I are starting to get larger projects at work and 2 more developers soon (juniors with little to no experience), so we'll need some coherence soon.
Tabs v spaces is more of a joke, looking for opinions on other things please.12 -
Tooday i try to migrate a Drupal 7 to Drupal 8 ... I think that migrate module from drupal8 will work easily... But i remember on Drupal, noting work as expected on this Platform... I run the migration and suprise suprise content type field are off or empty and I don't have any data imported ...
Go to reports check the error message ... Try to get information on Internet hoo yes i remember no fucking documentation anywhere because Yolo i need to release 1626 modules that in beta or alpha after 5 years of development. And i dont give shit anymore.
Now i try use migrate_plus and tools to make my custom importation... Documentation not found or not finish ... Please omg please just shutup and work1 -
Ok,
So when at work I love working from Jira/TFS and having little interaction when i'm battling through Code/Documentation
But Next time my manager strolls over to my desk and kicks my chair i'm Gona King Leonidas his ass out the 3rd floor window
FFS please reach out via Lync if u are planning to come up and annoy my tits!!!!!!
-
It sucks when you are unable to work on any new features in forever and mainly spend time updating the existing code base, doing visual designs & documenting the application.
Let me please work on a new feature that the clients will use instead of meaningless busy work2 -
I want to learn, How to add test cases in android And also about layer code pattern. like Controller, View, model, persistence, network etc...
So Please suggest a few tutorial or blogs that help me.
And please give me some links that have a test for network functions and intent related test.
Something like the test for other methods that work of different thread. (Asynk task, Volley or etc..).1 -
I am in my final year of CSE degree, and it's that time of the year when I have to prepare for placements. I need motivation. I need to work hard. I need to push hard. I am not sure if I can practice hundreds of coding problem. I do not find every other question interesting. Please motivate me to work hard.1
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I’m 20 years old MERN (Mongodb, Express.js, React.js, Node.js) Stack Developer, Working in a start up as a full time employee. They’re paying me 20k (INR) (< $300)/month. I’m in 2nd year of my college for my Bachelor’s Degree in computer Science. My Job is work from home. I’m doing programming for 4 years now. I have 1 year full time experience and extra 6 months internship in the same company and also doing freelance for 1 year. I’ve worked on many technologies like AWS, Azure, GCP, React, Tailwindcss, Flutter, Node.js, Express.js, Docker, Vercel, Linux and keep learning things cause I love doing this. But I think my salary is too low, I work 6 days/ week. They promised me that they’ll increase my salary but I don’t think they will. I think there is a lot I can achieve but nothing I can see right now. I’m not comparing myself to anyone but I think I’m eligible to get good food and good Education cause I’m paying for everything (College, food, etc). Family is not supporting after I started earning. I’ve basic understanding of DSA, Networking, etc. Pls Guide me, Please like what to do.. should I leave my job, if I do then I’ve to serve 45 days of notice period.. They said they’ll raise some amount from this new year. So should I wait to get the offer letter then should I quit.. and even after I quit then where should I apply? Should I apply abroad or Bengaluru? Should I take IELTS Certificate or any other tech certifications? Please Help, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE🙏🙏🙏4
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Dear provider, COULD YOU PLEASE SENT ME YOUR DSL INSTALLATION CODE BEFORE YOU TURN A COMPANYS INTERNET DOWN??? SRSLY this is the biggest bs. No phone no mail since 8am, new hardware won't work without this fkking code.
-
Waking up with a Red wine hangover only to find out the banks changed its cc processing system. That easy to set up extension I'd planned on using today won't work... I've got to write one from scratch.
Can someone please magic me to tomorrow? -
I have totally lost the sense of discipline in work after working from home for the last 9 months.
And there is a lack of contact with people other than immediate family due to new restrictions which is even more frustrating.
I will always be the one preferring to work from coworking spaces than home.
And if anyone wants to bring up the point of reduced travel time then please don't. My office was just 15 minutes away from home via train. -
Honestly, fuck my computer. I dual boot win10 and arch, and due to some work i had to do over on win10, its been 2-3months since i've booted back into linux. Today i decided to go update my stuff, turns out it wont even boot into to GUI. When i try to go in tty and upgrade everything with pacman, it gives me an error without even telling me whats the problem. Next i try to install it again to another hdd, doesnt work. Someone please kill me swiftly....9
-
What would be the best way to basically make a "visual poll" that takes clicks from users and calculates a "final score" for a website.
I've never really done something like this before...4 -
Help, please.
I have an only HTML(CSS and JS) app. I want to put it in Play Store. How?
I saw somewhere Phonegap can convert HTML to apk, but if I do it, will it work well?
I mean, if I want to put google ads or any other ads can I choose where to put them?9 -
NEED HELP: C#
Please I am a Beginner in C# and I need little help with Methods.
In the Picture attached, I'd love to use User input as Parameters in the method. Example: example getting user imput with Console.ReadLine(); and storing it to num1 or num2 as parameter in the Method.
Is this possible in C#, if so, how can I make it work? Thanks
5 -
!rant
Can the awesome devs here please critique my resume and give me some useful tips or how I could improve myself,or better yet devs, if you have a position at your work place help another dev out.
I'm a third year Grad student looking for Android Developer Internships for Summer 2017.
Resume link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/... -
Help please!
Despite having good speed, any website/app on my phone (other than Google, Youtube, Gmail, Instagram etc..) are either not opening or loading very slow.
Due to this I can't get my work done because I use my phone's internet to work on laptop.
Can't find any solution online because most people are giving solution for desktop and wifi router.
This happened after I changed my ISP. Previous ISP was working fine and now I'm regretting it.5 -
Some people please help with the ux on flip, it does not work and causes problems, what are your suggestions, or plans?
4 -
I am doing some late night developing because I feel excited about my own project after a long slog of refactoring and ground work... and my IDE is getting weird leading to long compilation times :(
Dear World. I am doing my life-chores so please let me get my shit done for once!
I was this close to fall asleep content tonight...
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