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Search - "how the hell"
How I've decided to answer the "can you hack" question from here on in...
"Can you show me how to hack this account please?"
"Sure, you'll need a hammer, a blow torch, chloroform, some pliers and couple of bottles of really pure vodka!"
"What the hell?!"
"Oh, it's so much quicker to just extract a password from a person, than it is to break into a system, I'm not exactly trained in inflicting pain on the human body, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out through trial and error, good luck!"15
So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.
Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.
Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.
"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"
"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"
*silently disables guest sessions*
Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅31
I'm assuming this is a repost. But regardless, how the hell have I never seen this before?!
This is the best desktop ever!!19
TL: Why the hell you require a month to integrate this engine?
Me: It will take that much time, can't help it.
TL: it can be done within a week.
Me: Then you do it.
TL: Ok I will show how it's done in a week.
Me: What's the status on that integration?
TL: Oh yeah about that, you have to carry it ahead, I have some monitoring to do.
Me: Ok, give me the repository access, I will carry it ahead.
ME OPENS REPOSITORY.
There's only a new controller file with nothing it.7
Me: *uses HashMap* for a problem to count some elements*
Lecturer: why are you using HashMap?
Me: it's the best way of solving the problem
Lecturer: I haven't explicitly taught you what a HashMap is so why are you using it?
Me: Because I learn outside of what university teaches me
Lecturer: there's another way to do this
Me: enlighten me
Lecturer: iterate through the array using a nested for loop and count as you go along
Me: why the hell would I want to do that? That literally decreases the efficiency of my program by alot
GG lecturer telling me it's a better idea of making my O(n) runtime into an O(n^2) instead of complimenting my code.
Seriously what the fuck is up with the fucking education system. Since when was it okay to teach students how to completely fuck your code up and promote ways of making your code so inefficient?33
| This will be wra|
| This will be wra|
what the f..
sudo sublime /opt/htdocs/learning_css/wrapping_text.html
o.O but my code ....it's here.....but why wasn't it showing....
*just to be safe*
| This will be wra|
meh..... what was I thinking
*wastes time restarting xampp*
*searches CSS everywhere*
*steals working code*
*eyes red as hell*
*it's 3 am*
| This will be |
| wrapped |
*blinking in confusion*
what the .... how did it work....
I changed nothing.....
A: "You write code? Can you fix my computer?"
M: "No, that's not how it works, bud"
A: "Why? It's both computer stuff."
M: *points to the greasy tire shop* "Let's go get your car painted there*
A: "Hell no"
M: "Why? It's both car stuff."
The website i made has been hacked today.
Stored in their server.
They didnt give me an access for it.
The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.
Now they ask me for the latest backup.
I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.
The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.
That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.
I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.
But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.
ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE7
At our first programming course at uni (it was in C), a student asks in class:
Student: what is a pointer?
Teacher: i don't know, i only know Java.
How the hell did the poor guy end up teaching C then?!6
Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:
random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*7
Started using longer passphrases for logins, colleague starts to tell people I'm doing bad things because"no one needs a password that long"
I get reprimanded by my boss
How the hell does this even happen smh22
I found a healthCheck function while troubleshooting an old application for a large auto manufacturer today. The healthCheck function was running several times a day on a timer. The function tries to insert a record into the database and returns whether or not it was successful. It was written in 1999 and has to date inserted over 2.5 million records into the database! 1/3rd of the data for this application was the same record.
How the hell did nobody notice this for 20 years!!!3
"Can you make it pop more..."
A moment of silence please, for the same fucking, irritating word that every goddamn Joe, Jim and Jenny uses for describing how a site should look. What the hell is pop supposed to mean, you want an epilepsy warning I'll put some popping lights and nausea inducing Nyan cats across your screen. You want it to pop more, sure no problem...
There's a window over there, go fucking throw your PC out of it.11
drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"9
So today I got removed from my freelance project because the client found out I listen to slipknot! What the actual FUCK? How the FUCK does it matter what I listen to?
And that cunt eater isn't willing to pay for the work I've already completed since "Slipknot is anti-Christian".
Burn in hell you piece of shit.21
FUCK YOU PHP!!!! FUCKING HELL JUST FUCK THE HELL OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
8 GOD FORSAKEN HOURS SPENT TRYING TO ZIP SOME SHITTY FUCKING FILES IN A FOLDER ON MY WEB SERVER TO HAVE THEM DOWNLOADED TO MY CLIENT COMPUTER.... 8 HOURS UNABLE TO OPEN THE DAMN FILE AND THE ISSUE WAS "echo" & "print_r()" STATEMENTS GETTING TRAPPED IN MY ZIPARCHIVE BUFFER MAKING THE ZIP FILE A GIANT PILE OF UNREADABLE SHIT.
HOW IN GODS NAME WERE THOSE FUCKERS EVEN BEING ADDED TO THE ZIP FILE.
Fucking hell. Time to sleep.8
I waited until yesterday evening to watch the livestream capture from our creators.
Was expecting something like them being bought by MS or Google or whatever due to how good this awesome network is doing/growing.
As so, i was mentally preparing for a goodbye (the second this data gets into the hands of a data hogging company I'm fucking out (as in, the one who owns the databases)) and then I started watching the livestream.
"aaand here it issssss!!"
Well that was one hell of a relief!14
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MICRO$HAFT!? ARE YOU EXPECTING ME TO PAY FOR A FUCKING VIDEO CODEC!? [which you had for free previously]
SERIOUSLY, JUST HOW LOW YOU CAN GO?
AND YOUR GREEDY ASSES CHARGE 439,00 € FOR THIS PIECE OF SHIT (win10 pro for workstations).
GO DIE IN HELL MICRO$HAFT!
I can't wait for Davinci Resolve to finally work properly for me[fuck you, nVidia!] so I'll never have to use this shit again.
GO TO HELL YOU FUCKING GREEDY BASTARDS! I'LL SHOVE AN HIV INFECTED CACTUS UP YOUR ASSES!
(and all hail VLC!)
[Context: I have to use windows for some video editing]23
Dear, Random guy that I wrote you an answer on StackOverflow.
I spent 15 minutes GOOGLING the issue for you because you either were fucking lazy or don't know how to use Google.
I wrote an answer for you on your shitty question with -2 rep explaining how to solve the issue and you just replied thanks and didn't even bother to either upvote or accept my answer. Not only did I solve your question I did it to bloody help you and here you are with your attitude not accepting my answer, and replying with thanks that i feel like you didn't care for me writing your answer. You can bloody hell burn in hell. I hope there is a special place for you and people like you that magically go missing and never come back16
So I heard (a while ago) from one of my teachers at my previous study that they're waiting for the new european data protection laws to kick in so that they'll be able to start using Google for everything.
That would mean that every student is required to have a (school/school domain though) Google account.
"The data will remain in this country"
Yeah fuck off I'm not going to believe google on it's 'blue eyes'.
It's sad how an educational institution can force their students into a mass surveillance network. Really makes me angry as hell.
Luckily I got out before they're going to implement this.28
Oh teh noes! I best 'repaire' my phone as the battery is severely damaged! Who the hell even does this crap. Shame on them. Like how they used the Android alert UI when they can clearly detect that I'm using an iPhone.9
Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.
Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:
ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.
How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.
I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.
How. In. The. Living. Hell.12
Me: So here's the completed website.
Client: *goes to Google and searches for media agencies india* What the hell is this ? I was told that my name would come on the first page in Google.
Me: Sir, we had quoted to build SEO friendly pages and not for doing SEO.
Client: This is fraud. How the hell could you cheat me by using these technical words. I want my name on the first page in Google.
Me: *types companyname.com in Google* Here Sir, your website is on the first page in Google.
Client: I very well know fraudsters like you. If I wouldn't have checked it then you'd have charged me for this later on. Here's your cheque.
Worst part of being a dev is handling less techy people than you 😫3
Long ago, like 5 years, I made an app for my EX GF in symbion to track her periods. Application predict the next date when your period will come based on her cycle.
How ever after 2 month of usage she told me that application was flashing that she is pregnant. She scared shit out of herself and made me sacred a hell as well.
Later i find out that the variable i used to store number of days between last period and current date was not capable of storing value more than 40, i don't know how, and triggers negative value to be shown.
Early days of my programming, Shit happens.10
It's so hard to pick a good variable/class name, how the hell will I be able to pick a good name for my future kid?6
Upon suggestion of @platypus I went to the cafe and just took my tablet there (unfucking the laptop's rootfs flash drive took too long, and ArduinoDroid's avrdude didn't seem to work very well), so just doing some chatting in IRC and trying to figure out how the hell I'm supposed to make a serial link to a Proxmox VM from the host (thinkstation on the top left pane).
Attached below is the screenshot of that.. much turminel, very h3xx0r! But so far nobody has come up to me calling me "evul h3xx0r" yet.. very intriguing! I expected things to be much worse.
A glass of Duvel in front of me, tastes great! Cheers!19
Annual performance peer review
Person who did review me wrote in the section “skills needed to improve”:
“He is introverted...”
Bloody hell!! What a big problem :) and how in earth you can “fix” it? And why everyone expected to be extraverted??14
"Why is this not working, it was working before!!??😤"
--finally fix problem--
"How the hell was it working before??"2
Fucking hell, how much I hate frontend!
Getting a tab system to work (bulma only exists out of css) has been taking me ages and its still not working.
I love nice interfaces but I just want to work on the backend 😭21
One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"
"Yeah!,"replies Gates. So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts. "So you like it?"he asks him. "Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.
So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts. "So bill have you made your choice?" "Yes, God. i want to go to hell," "OK then." And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell.
But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever. "Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates. "In hell,"replies god. "But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates. "Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."3
Who the fuck is able to not understand the basics of git. With ten years, supposedly , of front end experience. How in the hell do you not understand version control.18
An hour into Minecraft tonight.
*falls into a pit*
*almost drowned in some high pressured water*
*literally bumps into a witch after getting out of the water*
*kills the crazy magical bitch*
*finally gets out of the pit*
*gets hit by lightning*
*hides into the trees*
*gets poisoned by a spider*
This game is an accurate depiction of my life. I love whoever developed this shit already. I actually didn't what hit me until it said I was slained by a spider. Hell, I wouldn't even know how to cure myself if I knew I was poisoned. So realistic! ❤❤❤93
We have a little rule in our little dev team at work:
First estimate how long the project/task will take to do...
Then double it. Multiply it by 5. Raise it to the power of your birthday. Hell, just to be sure make sure to TRIPLE that figure.
That's how long we will tell our unreasonable boss it takes, because either way. We won't get enough time..3
Had an interview in a MNC company.
He: Propose a solution for reading huge logs file like 1 GB and parse errors with today's date.
Me: Gave two solution, one with regex and second with buffering the logs (reason: reading the entire in same shot will cause cpu spike with huge memory consumption) and I fell in love with my second approach. By the way it was on paper.
He: (Without seeing the logic) Your syntax is wrong.
Me: Got frustrated who the hell checks syntax in interview. I asked how may years of experience you have?
He: 10 years.
Me: I don't wanna continue, and I left.5
> Gradle build finished in 32 seconds
As if you did, fucking cunt. I've only watched half an anime episode and commented here and there in the meantime. Surely that'd be 30 seconds. Perhaps Gradle, you could've taken all that extra time to learn how to fucking count.
Android development, what hell am I getting myself into...6
Senior manager: I cant understand how this project has taken so long?
Me: Well you hired me as a C# WPF developer and then asked me to deliver an android app without any kind of training so i had to teach myself app development and reverse engineer the undocumented protocol it needs to use to communicate with our product.
Senior manager: Ok. I get that, but it should only take around 3 months to get up to speed though right?
Me (to myself): how in the hell? New platform, self teaching, undocumented protocol for a complex low level real-time system, other responsibilities taking at least 50% of my time and i should be as productive as an outsourced app dev company in 3 months???!! FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!5
My sleep pattern is royally fucked. I searched around for alarm apps that can help me get back on track. I found one called Alarmy. The list of features was mindblowing. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’m on vacation. I’m using my mobile data as a hotspot to browse and do research as there are no other internet options here.
My alarm goes off at 6 AM. Everyone besides me is sleeping. Here is where the first problem arises. The only way to turn the alarm off is by taking a picture of something I have at home (This is how I force myself out of bed). I start panicking. How the hell am I going to shut this damn thing off. I try to turn the phone off, and that’s when I realize I’ve made a huge error. The pro version of Alarmy has a setting that allows you to prevent yourself from turning it off at all. Genius me thought that was a good idea. I fumble with my phone as the 1 minute mute timer they give you is slowly ticking down, before all hell breaks loose. That’s when it hits me. I have an LG G3 with replaceable batteries. My violently pounding heart rate start to slow down as I take off the case and slamdunk the phone until the battery falls out. I did it. I’m saved. 5 minutes later I turn my phone on, start the hotspot and get back to my browsing.
BEEP F*CKING BEEP. Alarmy is not done with me yet. It turns out they’ve implemented a new feature that continues the damn alarm after a shutdown. At this point I have ran out of options. I take the battery back out, and now I’m sat here without no phone or internet for the rest of my vacation, and with no clue what to do.14
was a member on a web developers group on Facebook.
someone posted a question:
- I am getting error 500, how can I fix it (yes just like that, no error message, not even what technology he's using)
comment 1 : how can I build a website please? (I mean, wtf, you can at least post a separate post)
comment 2: check your database, MySQL has problems bla bla ( yes, don't know how he guessed that ia the database is the problem, and who tell you he used MySQL anyway??)
Me: what the hell am I doing here?
*Quit the group*8
Really, I hate this composer / bower / npm shitholes!
Why the hell is my app 300MBs?!? Because that shitty pudding composer decided to download the ENTIRE git including README.md, examples, 5 hours of assembly-giraffe porn, my granny's pajamas and two wraps of kebabs!
How hard is it to define the folder that contains the REQUIRED library so that our project might stay at 5MBs instead of 300?17
So I host a few mining pools and some of the stories we hear from miners can be quite interesting. One of our miners recently had his front door busted off the hinges and a drug bust team go into his house and turn the house upside down. How did they determine that he was a threat for growing illegal drugs? Well he had a high power bill because of the miners and he grows flowers and food inside of his house and that was enough for THE NYPD to get a warrant.
Now he is responsible for cleaning up the mess the police made. What scares me the most is that they are tracking soil you buy online along with high power bills. What the hell USA im a proud Canadian9
Fucking retards. They make us submit 3 fully fledged fucking Android apps (with ALL the generated boilerplate crap), all zipped into one fucking folder which cannot exceed 10MB.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU DUNG-EATING PREHISTORIC APE ?! ONE PROJECT ALONE IS 60 MB, HOW IN THE MOTHER-FLIPPING HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIT 3 OF THOSE INTO 10 MEASLY MEGABYTES?!
Ever heard of git you moth-eating-cactus-fucking pricks?! Time has come to learn it !!! Private repos are a thing, you cocksuckers.
May your bed be infested with bugs and your code riddled with Greek semi-colons. Fucking dimwits.8
How the hell can people actually WORK with these ultra slim ultrabooks with no ports?? My laptop is getting used like a cheap whore at a bachelors party...15
You know you're the only coder in your group of friends when one of them mistypes "cmakin coffee then I'll be on" and
A.) You're the only one to laugh
B.) You're wondering how the hell he's compiling coffee
C.) Lastly, why won't my coffee compile?2
Dear namecheap, I honestly love your service and prices but how in the hell can I see an ip address in the dig of a new domain (url shortener) which I never put or saw there and which doesn't even belong to any server I own/operate?!
DNS cache after the last chance of three days ago, nah, don't think so.
OK, I've had enough of this bullshit!
Why the hell do some people pronounce 'Z' as 'C' !?!
FUCK THESE PEOPLE!
Now, you might ask yourself: "But how is this tech related?".
WELL... I was trying to get into a server and had someone spell the password for me; AND GUESS WHO MISSPELLED THE PASSWORD THREE FUCKING TIMES SO HE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE FUCKING SERVER BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT!!!
FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK!!!!!18
why the fuck people name variables endig with numbers? why? how the hell do you even figure out what's what?
Designer Friend: Yeah, WordPress is a good tool of making website. I don't need your help next time.
Me: ... So how the hell can you setup a WordPress environment?2
Do you want to really annoy the hell out of someone?
1. JIRA account for you
2. JIRA account for the victim
3. JIRA app on victim's phone
1. Create a ticket and assign / add victim as watcher.
2. Open your favorite IDE or editor with any of your favorite projects with lots of files with minimal sizes.
3. Drag the folder and drop into JIRA ticket window.
4. Enjoy 😎
Don't ask me how I figured this out 😁6
yesterday: oh what the yeck? 'cd' fills your path by hitting 'tab' once? How the hell could i survive the past 6 years i've been using linux?
today: oh, what? no... it works with every command in the shell.... linux does that for you <313
I am in the process of completely rewriting a robotics codebases due to efficiency problems. And oh. My. god. The code is hell..
Allocating a new section of memory just to store a simple class in a loop that runs once every 20ms.. who thought that was smart??
Having piece of code that stole control over hardware from each other? Because "that will never go badly"...
Anyways. I am about half way through and very confused how this code was able to run..
FOR FUCK SAKE APPLE! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STILL IN THIS WORLD!
Was creating a signed file of the app to upload to their store and while XCode (that bitch!) was working on it, Slack, and Postman crashed!
Do I need to say why or you already knew it is because XCode ate all the RAM -.-7
Skype meeting with bosses be in the middle of the night and I'm drunk as hell.
Uh oh. This sure is fun and troublesome.
How can I be of your help, sir? (Hick)
Sure! I can (belched loudly) do that!
I'd be glad to have your help!
Went to the loo to the point, it's my chance to vomit secretly. Now's the chance to remove the toxin (my head is aching)... and felt so sad when all my food is wasted.18
Ok, so when I inherit a Wordpress site I've really stopped expecting anything sane. Examples: evidence that the Wordpress "developer" (that term is used in the loosest sense possible) has thought about his/her code or even evidence that they're not complete idiots who wish to make my life hell going forwards.
Have a look at the screen shot below - this is from the theme footer, so loaded on every page. The screenshot only shows a small part of the file. IT LITERALLY HAS 3696 lines.
Firstly, lets excuse the frankly eye watering if statement to check for the post ID. That made me face palm myself immediately.
The insanity comes for the thousands of lines of JQuery code, duplicated to hell and back that changes the color of various dividers - that are scattered throughout the site.
To make things thousands of times worse, they are ALL HANDED CODED.
When a good developer notes repetition ways to abstract crap away is the first thought that comes to mind.
Hell, when I was first learning to code god knows how long ago I always used functions to avoid repetition.
In this case, with a few seconds though this "developer" could have created a single JQuery handler and use data attributes within the HTML. Hell, as bad as that is, it's better than the monstrosity I'm looking at now.
I'm aware Wordpress is associated with bad developers due to it's low barrier to entry, but this site is something else.
The scary thing is that I know the agency that produced this. They are very large, use Wordpress exclusively and have some stupidly huge clients that would be know nationally.
Wordpress truly does attract some of the most awful "developers" and deserves it's reputation.
If you're a good developer and use Wordpress I feel sorry for you, as you're in small numbers from my experience.
Rant over, have vented a bit and feel better. Thanks Devrant.7
Last year I had a meeting with the newly hired Senior Graphics Designer.
She was presenting the new design of the company's website with all the features she wants.
After a few minutes, I asked her, did you design it as a responsive website?
"What is that?" She said. I said that the website should display or have atleast a design for mobile view and desktop view.
And she replied, "is that a requirement?"
Talks to myself: how the hell we hire designers like this?
PS, she earns 4x my salary5
Real story, I'm not kidding you.
But I wouldn't believe it, if it hadn't happened right now.
Customer calls, one device gets no mobile data connection.
I checked everything ... no errors to be found. Just no connection.
After half an hour we found the reason: Someone inserted the SIM the wrong way.
How the hell can someone put in a SIM the wrong way? There is only one way it'll fit in.
I don't get it.7
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.11
So I was browsing through some Redis docs and I find this. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL KOREA!!!!6
I spent almost 10 hours coming up with this RegEx. Trial and erroring my way to hell. First I had get rid of the HTML tags (which was easy-ish) then I spent most of my time trying to figure out how to remove the god damn dash but keep hyphenated words ....... Then I found \B and look behinds...
I am making it a point to get good at this shit... Because right now I am petrified of it... Fuck you Regular expression you have taken away all my emotions...15
For goodness fucking sake Microsoft. Stop doing everything possible to get me to use Edge Browser.
Since building my new computer I've had edge recommended in the notification center, lock screen, start screen, emails, and now on my fucking taskbar.
Seriously what the hell is wrong with them, I DONT WANT TO USE THEIR SHITTY BROWSER. I wont use their shitty browser so stop recommending it to me. I'm already invested In Google services so stop trying to push your own on me.
Honest to God what do the higher ups at Microsoft do with their time? Sit around a table figuring out how to get people to use their default apps?17
The whole "first job" and "experience" situation is fucked up.
How on God's green earth am I supposed to get tucking experience if you cock suckers won't hire someone for their first job? Like fucking hell.
It's not like I'm going for a "skill demanding" job... I'm trying get a fucking cashier job. I'm fairly certain I can run a cash register and stock the shelves of a store without any experience doing it. It's not exactly rocket science...
I just need some fucking money.8
- Let's write some code to check for memory leaks
- Oh shit, memory is leaking like crazy
- In fact the program crashes within 10 minutes
*Some hours of debugging and not finding the cause later*
- Starts thinking about the worse
- Hell yeah, the memory leak is caused by the code that checks for memory leaks. But fucking how
- Finds out the leak is caused by the implementation of the std C lib
- In the fucking printf() function
- Proceeds to cry5
Worst part: being everyone else's Search Bitch. Seriously, how the hell do you have a job in the tech industry when you can't use a fucking search engine, whether it's Google, a builtin search facility or, hell, scrolling down the goddamn page?3
Time tracking. 😡🤮 If I’m salaried and only working on one project for one client, why the hell should I waste my time making weekly reports of how many hours I spent coding, reviewing pull requests, and sitting in (mostly pointless) meetings?5
Where the hell is Break key?!
Story: I wrote multithreaded python script and went to Lab to test it. Script got stuck (one thread died) and I needed to stop that thing, but how without magic Ctrl+Break?
Damn you Dell with your slim and minimalistic keyboards!10
ajax hell/dom hell
do you know it? no dont talk abut the callback hell.
i fcking hate it when i load any modern site, and it needs a few seconds to calc some stuff, xhr this, calc that, dom/css visible that. at all it takes more time specially if you on low end to mid equipmemt.
And then you think its finally loaded, you want to click or tab something and then another xhr was Finished, dom/css changed, and the button i was about to Click moved and i click something else.
friends of me hates this to.
so please dear webdevs, stop try to be cool and fancy just because you found out how "cool" conditions in css and dom is. stop using that bullshit angular (and so on) bullshit if you cant manage to pull out a html at start that will not changr its layout all the time after being loaded, ty.10
I asked my friend to design a flyer for an organization's annual dinner, asking her to send me an invoice so I could pay her (I can't design worth shit, she's doing me a huge favor).
She said she'll do it, declined payment, and doesn't even want me to get approval for her to put it in her portfolio...
How the hell do I pay her back for her work? If we lived in the same town, I'd at least take her to coffee and lunch, but she moved states and I moved countries :(9
Please stop pasting screenshots into Word docs and emailing them to me. What the hell is wrong with you? You are on a fucking Mac. You figured out how to grab a screen region with an obscure key combination, but you can’t figure out that you can paste them directly into Gmail, Apple Mail, or Thunderbird?7
Making electronics more difficult to repair with security fasteners and ultrasonically welded plastic nightmares and what have you.. what's the point? The argument from manufacturers is that "users don't want to get in there anyway". But, it's not like even if they could, they'd want to, right? Which type of person that doesn't know electronics very well and has an interest in repairing it would go and look at a board, and say "this is how it works, this and that is broken and this is how it should be repaired"? Not many users can repair their own devices regardless. So why? To preserve IP? Not like the Chinese bootleggers care about that. To preserve sales? Users can't repair their stuff anyway. To keep those who want to peek inside out, just for the hell of it? Anyone determined enough will be willing to break it in the process anyway.7
How the hell does a guy miss a urinal? What the hell? Are they standing three feet (1 meter) away? And who the hell manages to hit the wall above the urinal? Seriously, the floor is a sopping mess. The wall is a sopping mess. Makes you want to hold it in till you get home. Just, yech!5
Signed up on Trello, got everything set up there and everyone has an account.
But my dear PM, why the hell are you still sending out a screenshot of your bloody spreadsheet bug tracker and ask everyone for updates????
Fellow devRanters how do I get (force) my PM to use a project management system instead of silly tables?12
Trying to plant something:
- be aware of the pH
- the plant loves sun, but not too much
- fertilize it every 2 Weeks
Dear Nature, how the hell did you accomplish all these for centuries?3
Some people just don't fucking understand that their ideas are shit. Or even if you have a usable idea that you can't make money on it.
I was watching Shark Tank and these guys go on with the simplest maps API app. Pretty much a single table database for where basketball games are. Then putting it on a map. That's it. And they were asked how they plan on making money and the answer was "better user experience". All you have is a fucking map! It's pointless. You're not making money on that unless you do a hell of a lot more!
The thing that really got me was how they were congratulated on learning how to make it. Good for you, it's great that you learned some programming for that. But while you did the simplest maps API plugin, someone with some machine learning junk was told that it wasn't good enough.7
Whatsapp: "How about you update your browser?"
How about you fire your whole fucking team of genetically engineered super-retards, that is making whatsapp shittier with ever recently rotten braincell you guys claim to have, and just let me use your shitty spyware I need to use for the time being. Fucking hell don't you even dare pulling that bullshit excuse on me when my browser is based on chromium Aka the fucking same browser engine that is powering google chrome. Just for once stop playing along with google, take your update and put it where the sun doesn't shine, you data-whoring deadshits.9
First day programming: "The hell is this?"
234th day programming: You start to think how every single thing works and how to make it
Have you ever looked at code you had written years or even decades ago and asked yourself either:
1) How this this even work?
2) What the hell does this do?
3) or, I can’t believe I wrote that. (In horror or serendipitously)5
There are not enough words in the English language to describe how much I fucking hate general education courses and math.
I don't even want a CS degree anymore just to escape the hell that is called required general education courses.
Like why do I need two fucking lab based science classes? Sure, if you were doing the Computer Science with a focus in Chemistry, that makes sense. But I wasn't doing that.
Why do I even need a lab science of CS to begin with, let alone two.14
Have to write a 1,000-1,300 word paper on the top trends of my chosen industry. I am therefore researching crimes using computers and other technology. I'm loving the research.
However, I have no idea how to tone my research down so I don't end up (back) on a list for odd Internet searches, and I don't think I want to be on a international list.
Tips for researching the hell out of this topic without flagging Big Brother and ending up with suits at my door (again)?16
Fuck the new ECMAScript 2018 specifications.
I mean seriously? How the hell is dot syntax gonna make it more readable?
Also, i love the brackets, braces and semicolon. Hate to see them deprecated.
Almost gave me a heart attack and my head was boiling watching it.
Anyone else annoyed that they can code a really good website (as in PSD to HTML) but just aren't creative enough to come up with a design? I find myself on Dribbble a hell of a lot of the time coding designs that others have done out of boredom, but stunned by how amazing their designs are. I'm just not creative enough.13
* How I solve a problem*
"Okay, it seems to be interesting, OK think solve it generally"
*Solved the problem manually
"Okay pseudo code is /do this and that/ break it and write Algo.
Seems like it will work,
Making all sense
Okay let's code"
*Wrote in IDE
" Hmm compile and execute"
*Expected output : Hey you!
*Actual output : F you!
Me: What the hell
"Uhh! Just gonna apply brute force"
*Somehow got the actual output = expected output
"I knew, it gonna solve it but how it worked?"
*Thinking and it's 2 am
"Oh! I'm done, I'm going to sleep"
*4 am, while lucid dreaming
"That's how that thing worked, I got it"
*Next day using the logic dreamt of
*No matter how much surreal it is
*It didn't work
Me : F U!!!
(to be continued)2
today i had to use an old resistive touch monitor.
what the hell how people can use that thing?
i had to literally punch it with my finger to get a click recognized3
So apparently you can now run Windows 95 from an app made in electron.
This was my first operating system. I can remember playing Pajama Sam in '96 at the tender age of 6 and teaching my parents how to use a computer. And now it's a freaking electron app that uses 200MB!! of ram. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.5
Ok i post it a bit late but what the hell.
This is my monster now! I now shall conquer the world!
MSI GL62 7RD
with that configuration:
CPU: i5 7300HQ
RAM: 8GB DDR4
HDD: WB blue (small laptop one) 1TB
Ok i already had that configuration for a while... but it was sloooowwwww D:
That is why for my birthday/chrismas i bought myself additional 8GB of ram and a tiny nvme ssd to make everything 1000x faster! 😎
1 ++ for a person who reads how big the ssd is...14
The more I learn about programming the more terrified I become about having huge knowledge gaps and learning something wrong by possibly making wrong assumptions about how certain things work or by falling on bad tutorials. I'm constantly hyped about coding, and at the same time I always feel I will never be able to say confidently "I know how to code".
How the hell do you make sure you are learning programming correctly as a self taught? Or do i just have to accept that no matter how and what I code there will always be a better way to do it, resulting in me constantly feeling as a low-skilled coder?4
when you have a great idea for a project, the you open android studio and like ''ok, how the hell do i even start? i'm going to sleep''4
How the hell did I go a full day with no coffee?
I had my usual three hours of sleep, did nothing else out of the ordinary, so how did I get through the day without any coffee whatsoever? And why am I still up at 1am?8
Just because I know how to program doesn't mean I know how to fix your goddamn computer. We have an IT support team. Call them!
Don't come to my desk asking about a computer problem, then stand there with a vacant stare when I say I can't help you. I've given you the support team's contact info several times already. I assure you, they specifically get paid to configure your emails, install printers, setup your VPN, etc. Now where the hell was I at...1
me: *Tries a little change before going to sleep*
git: error: invalid object xyz
me: sure, fuck you too
After some time got phone calls from users and manager. Manager said, 'how the hell our application got HACKED? If anything happens to..........'. To cut it short, he was furious. We knew exact reason and solution. Didn't take couple of minutes to resolve this issue.
But it was funny mistake and that released that days pressure off.2
Short story of a developer
0) Don't know how to do something
1) Search for hours on internet
2) Find only crappy codes
3) Try a crappy code
4) Realize that it works only for who created the code (What the hell...)
6) Ask on forums
7) Get downvote without any reason
8) Receive useless answer
9) Delete project7
Sooo, I made a mistake. I put my CV online and said I'm available without removing my phone number at first. took care of that by now. But bloody hell, I've been called and texted about 15 times in the last 4,5 hours. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with (this flood of) recruiters? I really don't feel like calling each single one back. Help.6
Client: here's what we want, a website where someone can directly edit any file on the website, php that java thingy all of it. Hell allow them to access, the os so they can see how that works to.
Me: ... Hey great idea ... We could set the server up in your offices ! I could link the server to all your computer's they can modify anything you have on there as well. That won't cause any issues.... At all.
Client: urm why?
Me: *hangs up* sigh ....
It's a fake scenario.... But how I feel like when I speak to clients 😐 based off what some guy wanted to do, a whole training thing for devs to learn how servers work ... The idea is ok to train... Say an apprentice, but he wanted to attach this to the Internet.... Not limit its use... Obviously way to expensive.
I just had my first "Group project"-experience and holy fucking shit am I about to explode right now.
I messaged you one fucking week before the project is due and ask for your input that none of you contributed to and if that was too advanced for you imbeciles to handle then HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THREE MORE FUCKING YEARS IN CS. THEN YOU HAVE THE DECENCY TO RESPOND SIX FUCKING HOURS AFTER THE PROJECT IS DUE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WORK.
WELL GUESS WHAT YOU FUCKING WASTE OF MOLECULES, I ALREADY TURNED IT IN AND THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE IS PUTTING YOUR FUCKING NAMES ON THE PROJECT.
I DRAGGED YOUR SORRY ASSES TO THE FINISH LINE AND THEN YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG"?
NEXT TIME AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO SPIT BEFORE YOU FUCK SOMEONE OVER4
Forget missing semicolons; accidental dots are IN. Was wondering how the hell the method that was working EVERYWHERE ELSE was throwing here. Oh well, now I know4
At my previous job, no matter how many times I explained it, "a jquery" was an image slider for by boss. No need to say new devs didn't know what the hell he was talking about when he said the clients wanted "a jquery".2
My intern was trained on 1 semester of Java, followed by 2 of Python, so there’s been several conversations at the office that boil down to:
“What’s *not* to love about Python? It’s easy to pick up, and forgiving as hell!”
“What’s *to* love about Python? I like being able to understand how my code is structured!”
As a WordPress shop, the discussion is moot, of course...6
Everytime I boot into windows soemthing goes wrong. Driver that doesn't load properly, loss of connection on a fucking RJ45 cable, boot process that locks the desktop for about 5mns randomly... What the hell!?!??! I just don't get any of this crap on Linux. And also, how the fuck is Microsoft expecting to draw the Linux crowed to them by putting linux on top of their massive steaming pile of plague ridden shite?!? Linux works very well without that stink! F.U. Microsoft! and F.U. to your imbred, affront-to-nature, colossal putrifying piece of gelatinous diarrhetic shite of an OS!
.|.. (o_o) ..|.9
This morning i found out how much UI/UX is important. Who the hell put "snooze" button beside "stop alarm" button?9
! random story
Today i was cleaning my laptop and on right side of it i suddenly touched a button... !!!
DVD player popped out.. and it's dusty as hell.. I was like what ?? How long this has been in laptop.. It's weird.. I never used it.. Why the heck we need it.. I didn't saw anybody holding dvd disc nowadays .. Man nobody uses those shit's anymore.. we have pen drives and External HDD's now. Why the heck manufacture's still keep these dvd player in Laptop's..
But it brought my childhood memories back though.. !!2
My Unicorns 🦄.
If you look at the picture you will see more than one and there is a funny story behind them. About three years ago I was talking about a new project and I wanted to call it the Magic API, however I work for a religious organization and they said that it would be a problem to call it that. So I said what the hell how about unicorn? They said that would probably be okay. Then I saw that Microsoft had unicorn tags for their developers so it has been my thing ever since then.
So Unicorns it is. 🦄4
Receive several documents of blog posts from a client, each one titled "Blog $n - $category - $title." Cool, the client gave them to me in order and I just have to plug them in.
Enter blogs on site starting with Blog 1.
Client sees the blogs on the site and loses their shit. "I specifically numbered the blogs so you knew what order to put them in! How hard is it to put them in numerical order? Blog 1 is the newest blog and should be first on the page."
The site displays the newest post first, but because any normal person would have named the oldest blog "blog 1" and counted up from there the blogs are in the reverse order the client expected.
What the hell kind of dense motherfucker numbers their blog files in a manner which requires them to rename every file each time they write a new blog post?
I am working on an open source game project, and the most common way to draw things is using a class named ManagedSurface. The class is otherwise awesome, but it has a method called getBasePtr(x, y), which gives you a pointer to the requested coordinates. Fair enough (this is C++ without STL by the way).
But WHY THE HELL CAN I REQUEST ANY POINTER THAT I WANT, EVEN IF IT'S OUTSIDE THE SURFACE? Other cointainers have sanity checks, asserts and such, and the surface KEEPS TRACK OF IT'S WIDTH AND HEIGHT.
WAS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO ADD assert(x <= w); assert(y <= h);???
I spent 3 days on valgrind trying to find a heap corruption that manifested at random points in the code.
On the bright side, I learned how to use valgrind (which is awesomely awesome).4
...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.
He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.
You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!
How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥6
Fucking tutorials that simply skip thing completely.
Like how the fuck am I supposed to know how to run that that shit when you don't even mention how to build it and jump straight to the fucking debugging section.
Fucking hell, relate yourself to the people who'll read your shit, you non empathetic scum3
How do you create a folder named "CON" in windows??
You switch to linux and name it whatever the hell you want!!5
Adventures in not knowing python: Episode 4!
After having finally extracted all the files I needed, figuring out where the hell they go and how they connect together I tried to plug it all into an AWS ec2 and get going. WRONG!
Every package was at least 3 years out of date. Most couldn't be downloaded directly with pip or wget (because the paths to them weren't available or were the wrong version) so I've had to find, download and scored every package to the instance. This, mind you, with no experience of Django and basically none of Python.
I've finally gotten them all in and installed and set up and checked their version against the live site. I have until tomorrow morning to get it all set up.
Wish me luck gentlemen!2
How Youtube deters unofficial downloaders.... It's really fast for 90% of the download. Then the final 10% is slow as hell...
Maybe will never actually finish... perhaps they're using the halving algo where in theory it never reaches the end4
Companies that create APIs and then update them but fail to update the documentation, to a point where the syntax doesn't even remotely resemble how it originally was, or even give the location of where the new endpoint is.
WHY MUST YOU MAKE MY LIFE HELL2
Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!
**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**
Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...
**3 hours later**
Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done!
I show code for some cool but simple stuff to my gf.
She "how the hell are you able to come up with this shet? Who taught you to program? "
Me "Patience, enthusiasm and google"1
Please fix this one tiny bug they said. Don’t touch everything, it works, sans the bug, they said. Should take a day or two they said. Please don’t do anything drastic, they said.
The entire environment is fucked. The current commit for that repo is fucked, and the previous one was just an empty Xcode project. How the fuck can I debug something that isn’t even running? The machine it was built on by the previous engineer that left the company had multiple Xcode projects for the same thing and all of it refused to compile. What?! How the hell it got released to the wild and being used by hundreds of clients is still beyond my comprehension. Adding insult to injury, I eventually discovered there were memory leaks up the wazoo. Great!
So, please for the love of fucking God, leave a working repo for your colleagues before you decide to jump ship!1
Oh so you have a merge conflict this weekend? The only time of the week I try not to think of ripping your nob off, tying a noose around your neck with it and drowning you in a well full of piranhas? Right, right...
How about you take that dick that you've been trying to locate since you were 5 and practice choking on it every day till you die just so you have enough experience to suck demon dongs in hell for eterniity! I seriously hope you die of cancer you fucking wankstain!
How about you go home and keep disappointing that whore of a wife of yours, you know that stinking pile of shit that you stick your dick in every two weeks?2
Just spent literally six hours trying to get my aunt's enterprise-grade 20 mb fiber optic Internet back on tracks.
Two hours trying to reach the technical support, two hours to explain that I was "unexpectedly" hung up by the previous attendant, and honest to hell, two more hours trying to explain what "latency" is.
Seriously, how much do they pay these technicians nowadays?4
"Can I have an app? It's a million dollar idea: you take a picture of yourself and it tells you if you're pregnant or just fat. I don't have any money at the moment but I'm willing to give you 5%, maybe less if my friend wants to join. plus, no ads, and make it a free app so it will be liked alot."
Can you shut the fuck up? do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about? that's the most fucking ridiculous idea I've ever heard. how the hell would it even work?5
Me: we should take this project a little more serious, follow the coding standards and please let us use git!
Pal: Oh sure.
//made a new repo and the first commit, sent the link and prepared everything (Granted access etc.)
//2 weeks later
Me: What's up, I already got quite some commits and you haven't pushed anything so far.
Pal: Pushed? what do you mean?
Me: I'm the talking about the git repo, I'm the only one contributing.
Pal: Oh yeah git, I installed it but I have no idea how that stuff works. I opened Git gui but i don't know what I'm supposed to do. I got everything in the Dropbox tho.
Me: ... ... ... FUUUUUUUUU WHAT THE FUCK MATE ARE YOU SHITTING ME, THE HELL DO WE HAVE GOOGLE FOR AND WHY DIDNT YOU ASK, LIKE WTF SERIOUSLY I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU TO USE GIT.
Someone gave me this tiny soldering kit but I have no idea what goes where or how I even read the schematics / what it does; anyone got a clue on where the hell to start?
PS: As skilled with hardware as my mom is at opening notepad9
How the hell people read so fast ;-;
For me reading metro 2033 took 2 weeks, and since o was bored these days and my pc was dead, i was reading it around 14-16 hours per day....
Im never gonna finish c++ book i would love to finish...17
About a year ago, the organization I work for decided we don't really need team leads. We would be more self organizing if we didn't have technical leads. Now, one of those former leads who feels out of place can't get over it. She is constantly trying to add her two cents -- which is totally cool -- but in such a way as to make it sound/seem like we need to do what she says. Also, based on everything I've seen from her coding ability, I'm not sure how she ever became a tech lead. That's coming from me, and let me tell you, I feel SUPER junior sometimes. Like how the hell did they ever offer me a job junior. Well anyway, another dude was working with her the other day (we do pair programming) and snapped. He flipped out for like a solid 3 minutes on her. It was the most awkward thing I think I've ever experienced.5
Docker swarm. All i want is a 'zero-downtime' system and everytime i try to set it up there's three damn things missing. Load balencer, service updater, and a good distributed storage. I finally got pissed off and am working on those but fuck it's been how fucking long docker has been out why the hell somebody else hasn't done this yet.3
I find most of the initial concepts are similar to C which I learned during my engineering.
The course covers a lot of basic things or concepts at its fundamental level.
Even if I learn all the syntaxes, I fear that I will not be able to code all those complex things which I see and use in day to day life.
How to overcome this fear? How to be able to write such complex code?
So it turns out that the iPhone X was one of the most popular christmas gifts this year in Norway. I mean fucking hell, how is that even possible given the price?1
For a long time, I wanted to be a part of open source communities. I've been a dev for 6 years now.
I have the skills needed to help out but usually I'm fairly unexperienced on working with big teams, code reviews, and build-test systems they often use. So I'm scared as hell to even begin with. I feel unsecure to reach out and ask for helping or send a basic fix / pull-request.
What are your suggestions, how did you start working on open source projects?
Teach me senpai.3
So I just got into computer science College after a long period of being exited as all hell. Letting my dreams run wild with all the people that I'll meet and how we'll share information and debate over serious issues. less than a week into college I find out that people don't know shit and some of them are asking : "where are the brackets on the keyboard" while others ask what's the difference between Gmail and mail...............
I was devastated. (still am)5
I'm done fighting with my professor over my thesis project. They want me to go slower in building my project and we only have 7 weeks to deployment. Well screw you how in the hell do you expect me to prototype, build, bug fix and deploy all this and go SLOWER. YOU AREN'T AIMING TO BE A CAREER DEVELOPER ARE YOU?
I feel really sick this morning. Between the anxiety of graduating soon and my debt...
I just want live for myself. Not the sake of a school or some corporate entity. When this is over I want to work overseas in Europe. Do something for myself for once.2
Holy shit. I havent updated LLVM in like 2 months and fucking hell WOW. Just compiled it myself because the mantainer of the packages is busy with life.
And again WOW LLVM9 makes a huge fucking difference. Not only in games but on the responsivnes too. Its just amazing how much can series of packages speed up the system. Sure its possible it was actually mesa speed up since Marek again sent in speed up patch for radeonsi but wow.11
W8 wut?! O.o
How the hell is someone gonna hack my computer using calculator?!
Also WTH?! I don't even know what that built in admin BS is in win10, let alone how to log in with this o.O4
PM: "Did you ever push changes for this one feature?" Me: "No. I haven't had time to even look at it. Everyone wants me to do stuff before my last day." PM: "okay so is it done yet or not?". If i haven't looked at it, if it's not pushed, HOW THE HELL WOULD IT BE DONE?!2
I am so disgusted by how people keep asking me how to hack Facebook... As if it's even possible? What the hell are they even thinking?!
- oh, hi there. I'm your Assistant. Nice to meet you 😊1
Classmate was like try KDE plasma its awesome after they updated it to plasma. Its really cool just try it.
OK so i did.
HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYBODY USE THIS SHIT ?
If i did my work in here it would take me 2 months to get it done while in GNOME i could do it in 2 seconds.
Just pure hell.
Oh and i tried it also because my shadows and just blur and other good looking stuff looks terrible. And i mean terrible.
Will post pic from phone since idk if screenshot will do it.46
Major WTF moment today, leading to me nuking my phone and restarting (possibly with a ROM).
So here I am working, with my android smartphone in my pocket, screen on the inside. Get in the house, see my flash through the pocket. Hm, interesting. My phone seemingly unlocked itself (fingerprint locked), then went nuts.
It pulled down my quick settings and turned on the flash. It also opened up 5 different apps, minimized one (how?), opened up multi-window view and navigated through the open apps, and texted four people. Sent one gibberish message to one person, had pictures queued up to send to two others, and spammed the hell out of another. They were getting super pissed, just receiving message after message of shit.
How the fuck does this even happen?! I literally have settings enabled that don't let it turn on when it's in a dark place. I physically lock it every time I'm done. WTF. How am I supposed to trust it with important information if it can't even lock properly?
I've had this thing literally open right up without any password or anything before. And businesses rely on these being fucking secure. What the hell.
I'm nuking this thing tonight. Fuck.2
hsctf (high school capture the flag)
first hurdle: you gotta have a mail server that accepts RFC uncompliant emails
second hurdle: even when you have it the acceptation link won't work
third hurdle: its FUCKING IN PYTHON
If this how you wanna educate your youth, the for gods sake, die
So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?
This is critical you must do it now! No this!
My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.2
How the hell some devs are releasing to production before passing to QA, Alpha testing, staging at least handle all type of errors and hide your API Keys.5
I just hate how my body believes that coding time and snack time are synonyms. Like ok, i might have been eating some chips or noodles while i was doin' the thinking, but hell, i cannot just empty 2 or 3 bowls of food each time i have to open and IDE.. How can you guys keep yourselves busy from eating when you fight the evil forces of bugged code?3
My mom: "My iPad is broken because I deleted by Goggle account"
Me: "Are you actually using Android tablet? How the hell that you deleted your Google account affects your iPad?"
My mom: "No, I definitely using iPad, and now I can't Goggle. And I don't remember my Goggle account. Can you come and help me to fix it?"
Me: "There is no way to fix it, if you don't remember anything about your "Goggle" account. But I will come and see what happen to your iPad later."4
Working on a legacy app and couldn't find in the DB, fields for description, status, title, and assigned user.
I found them.
They were in the fields: User1, User2, User3, and User4.
How the hell does that happen?2
Someone in the company wants to make one (database) field multiple choice. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS18
I know I'm gonna get downvoted to hell but the only reason I didn't tried Vim is because thay it has such a shitty logo. It's like stuck in 80s. It's seriously bad. I used to be a designer so I can safely say, design or at least how things look do matter sometimes.14
Is it me or freelancing jobs at Freelancer are incredibly vague.
Jobs titled "build me a website" with descriptions like "I need an expert dev to work on a python website".
How the hell can you put a price and time to it?!
Am I missing something here? I'm totally new at this and it's kinda baffling.4
Just watched episode 3-6 of silicon valley, where Richard loses his girl over tabs vs spaces. Made me kind of mad.
How the fuck is tabs vs spaces still a struggle? Unless you're using fucking Notepad++ to code, your IDE will FUCKIN REPLACE TABS WITH SPACES! IF YOU INDENT WITH SOMETIMES THREE, SOMETIMES FOUR SPACES, THEN BURN IN HELL! JUST USE YOUR IDE WITH YOUR TAB KEY AND END THE WAR!2
when you have to use one language inside of another, and you basically have to call functions allowing you to call the other's language function within it, and you get the hell confused, since it gets harder and harder to see what is what and who can call who and how, and the compiler ofc. won't say anything about it since it only cares about the main language you are in and not the nesting of the other...
I just have no idea what I'm doing right now, or if my thought process and understanding of this is even close to where it is supposed to be.
D: I'm just confused and insecure about this right now....
time for experiments to figure this out, and get the hang of it13
Gives an award winning VR idea to our 'Digital Manager'
Says it's too hard for us to do ( it wasn't ) , goes out and pitches it to another digital agency for 'Help', ( mainly coz of the freelance commission )
They go ahead with the idea and make their campaign with it.
we don't get anything. no credit, nothing.
I wonder how the hell someone become a manager with that much of stupidity.2
This utilization shit is stupid! Seriously man what the hell! Yes yes it's an important number yes yes I don't even care. You want me to increase my utilization and at the same time be wary of the budget, which are unrealistically tight to begin with. It's freaking impossible! Who comes up with this shit?
You know what? Half of this shit ain't even my fault! A project was set for 200 hours and a guy wasted half of that trying to figure out just HOW TO CONNECT TO THE API! Like the guy only wrote 30 lines in 100 HOURS! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME! THEN YOU PASS OVER THE PROJECT TO ME AND SAY YOU HAVE ONLY 100 HOURS LEFT TO CONNECT TO THE API, GET THE DATA (WHICH BTW DOESNT EVEN EXIST), PARSE IT, AND THEN CREATE GRAPHS AND A FULLY FUNCTIONAL SOFTWARE, WITH A USER INTERFACE THAT SHOULD RUN AS AN EXECUTABLE!!!! ME? ALONE?
MAN FUCK YOU!2
Saw a counting variable in code. It was a necessary counting variable, so that is not what this is about.
However, this is a US based company that has a somewhat PC (no cursing) and professional cultural facade.
This variable was called "cnt". How the hell did that one not get caught in peer review? I have gotten dinged for having "possibly offensive" variable names (think Point5Hit though I have never written that as a variable name). It was funny. But I have changed it because that's just lazy.9
The thing that I most hate is when you're approaching a new framework/tool, you follow the official documentation and the first example doesn't work.
I'm trying the official documentation of webpack, I tried the first example and guess! Error! It says that's probably a breaking change. Where the hell should I learn it? I don't have the crystal ball, should I guess how your fucking tool fucking works? Oh my god, it's ok if you introduced breaking changes, but just update all the references, is it so hard?
Many of the problems I see people solving with these giant stacks could be easily solved understanding how websites work (html, css, js and how interact with each other) with no dependencies giving smaller (for end users at least) and more maintainable code (in the sense it would not require updating dependencies that may be discontinued...)
I do imagine situations where these are ideal... Since there are not absolutes and developing is very context sensitive, but man if I have js article fatigue for ridiculous scenarios.2
How fucking difficult is it to first figure out what the hell you want me to build, before assigning me a project?
But noo...make me implement a feature that will do a completely different thing in two weeks, and a completely different thing a week after that...fuck you Jeff3
Many of them. Can't decide which one is the biggest.
- when the asshole in front of me picks up a call and is loud as hell. Wanna kick his nuts.
- Chats. Hangouts. Whatsapp. Just name it.
- retards who don't know how to google something or even worse..what to google and come straight to me to get a solution.
- My own fucking head at times. You start talking about space tech and i'll have to jump into it. And i end up wasting half an hour.1
I’m really struggling to see WHY IN THE HELL it was necessary to delete my FUCKING NETWORK PROFILES to update this FRUIT FUCKED ALUMINUM SHIT BOX!
How did they test this and be like, oh, yea, you can’t connect automatically to ANY of the WiFi networks you have saved, because we deleted all the network profiles. That is acceptable, it won’t cause anyone any real problems.
Sure you need to update some shit. But why are you even touching that part of the disk? Damn you filthy lying fruit fuckers!1
Why the *fuck* did Facebook decide to nag users by constantly reminding them of how dumb and miserable they are by showing the old-ass posts from years and years ago?? I don't want to see some random shotpost i posted 5 years ago, i don't give a fuck!!
How the hell uses this anyway? Who on earth cares about his facebook image so much, that sharing this stuff is actually meaningful?
Maybe i'm missing a point, but again my facebook profile is just a wall of memes and vapid shit that i don't care about.
I'm starting to really fucking hate facebook in every way, too bad its the only real way to contact people here in scandinavia...
This country is full of applefags anyway, maybe i should just pack up and move to a country with a more sensible communication platform :D7
Have you ever built something that works, but then you had to spend the next two hours trying figure out how the hell it works?3
sudo pacman -Syu --force
Openfire and owncloud no longer work.
sudo systemstl status openfire
Java exception relating to SQL.
sudo systemstl status mariadb
No such service mariadb
WTF why would that get uninstalled, how the hell.
sudo pacman -S mariadb
Everything now works again
Arch can be a confusing place
Maybe that force was a bad idea.5
So just sitting here watching my windows VM's cpu usage to monitor was seems to be causing some stuttering and then out of fucking nowhere the default photo's app pops and and claims 96% of the CPU...
I understand computers are weird but how the hell does an app randomly start and jump to such a high CPU usage?8
I'm working as a tutor for two classes. Students are 11th graders, smart and curious as hell.
We get to the OS part of the course and they have to use WinAPI for now. The explanations in the lessons are vague and they are forced to use MSDN which also has either super-high-level or super-simplistic explanations. Don't know how to give them motivation for this crap.
Also, where is WinAPI really used? For writing drivers? Viruses? Relatively low-level software?3
Fucking hell my Chromebook is a confusing little cunt...
I use the Samsung Chromebook plus with a 64 bit based ARM CPU but the chromeOS installation is 32 bit... Buuuuuut it will prefer 64 bit android applications and runs the Linux container at 64 bit!
How does that even fucking work?!?!
(Yes I know Google blah blah, privacy blah, your opinion is noted and ignored ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)6
I swear to God. I decided to work freelance with somebody who said they had a client and just need me to write the API. So I did. In two days. That was now over 3 months ago and this person still is not finished. They keep asking me how to send basic AJAX requests, how an API works, how to send data in x-www-urlencoded, how to receive data, and it is fucking infuriating! I demanded my payment and received it, and then blocked them. THEN THEY EMAILED ME TO UNBLOCK THEM, which I did just to see what the hell. And they say I owe them explanations to how to use the API. Bitch what? WHY are you working freelance if you don't understand ANYTHING AT ALL? now I'm on vacation and this cuntwagon is direct messaging me while I'm with my fiance. This is HELL! I would rather deal with users than retarded "professionals"1
A "safe" Ubuntu update decided to fuck with my AMD drivers and after rebooting, a nostalgic black emergency terminal greeted me with some cryptic message containing hex code as if any mortal user could make sense of it.
To add insult to injury, local mirrors don't have 18.04 which makes apt vomit errors during software installation.
How the hell does the most well known distro out there manage to have problems like that?6
Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.10
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
Just remembered my Informatics teacher left me and my friend a side project to do by the end of summer:
The task is to replicate the game "Minesweeper" in a C# form.
Now, I never actually even understood that game when I played it, how the hell can I program that? ;-;
Well okay, yeah, I might have to actually start looking into it... but freak, it's almost the end of summer already, and I'm still on vacation... my fault I guess. ;—;8
Devs with young kids: how the hell do you do it?
I am a foster parent for my cousin who is 4 months old and I don’t know how in the fuck to make this work. How do you do it? How do you balance code and kid?
For reference I work full time at a tech support place, I go to school full time, and I’m trying to pivot into software development, which means any free time is spent coding/studying code/building a portfolio. Problem is I don’t have free time because of the baby. How in the hell do people do this.4
I love devrant so much for how I feel it's the one social network in which I feel part of the community, and I hate it for letting me realize how alive all of the stereotypical behaviours the IT crowd is usually shunned for are amongst us.
Users and managers aren't stupid, processes in a company are usually there for a reason, and if your boss is really that much of a dimwit, then why the hell are you even there?
This has to be one of the most recession proof professions out there. Change jobs. Stop blaming everybody else for your shortcomings, damn it.
But, yeah, much love to all of you making us look good and being humble about it.11
So I actually prefer npm to most other package managers (with the exception of go's package handling).
Like you need to look no further than to pip's hell of package management, to start appreciating how clean npm is.
For fuck's sake, why do so many engineering professors use Comic Sans in their power points and documents?!? These are incredibly intelligent people, so how can they be so ignorant? We all have to suffer as a result... Honestly, has nobody ever had the balls to tell them to change their fucking font because it is ugly as sin, hurts the eyes, and is super childish? Fuck all those people who insist on using Comic Sans. You all deserve to spend time burning in hell for your cruelty. Better yet - sir who invented Comic Sans: go fuck yourself and burn in hell.9
Well, this one was very satisfying.
When I resigned from my previous job, there was this one last task I had to finish. The task was to implement an identity and access management system that would work across three different platforms they had. I used to work on one of them which had nothing of the sort but the other two had something of their own. Here lies the kicker, it had to work with existing authorization system in other two platforms. After explaining multiple times why that is a bad idea, I gave up. I created an interface, no implementation, documented how the interface was meant to be used and got the hell out of there.
Just fucked up the next exam for this semester -.-
This whole study is slowing me down. When learning for the university I make absolutely no progress for my programming skills
In my free time and when I’m at the office of my part time job I’m leaning more relevant things..
Why the hell do I need to know how to write in assembler if I’m a student for front end development? Fuck that and without an Bachelor here in Germany I will never get a good paid job.
So I have to learn irrelevant unnecessary and uninteresting things to get this fucking bachelor
But I’m absolutely no person for exams.. how does programming on a paper without internet connection will Ever prepare me to the real world?
I really don’t know what to do cause this whole university thing is so disgusting :/2
Fucking hell the AWS IAM documentation is confusing as fuck. Trying to set up a fucking role is harder than cutting a rock with a fucking spoon.
And who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to allow a CLI user to run any command he's allowed to without any form of authentication??
Oh, set up MFA for the CLI you say? Good fucking luck with that, if you ever manage to figure out how to set that shit up!
Fuck this shit!3
I'm Programmer/Analyst in one of the hgh ranking BPO company here at Philippines.
I'm currently on a project, I'm on a team who's managing machines parts. The project is CATERPILLAR.
The biggest challenge here is if there is a outage on the system, the number of Severity 1 issues keeps coming like there's no tomorrow. And there's only 5 of us on Tier 2 which is managing this abends, errors, bugs in the system.
Is there a way on preventing this outage/connection error. Like HELLO IT IS A BIG COMPANY !!! HOW THE HELL THEY CAN'T EVEN MANAGE THEIR CONNECTION!!!!2
I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.3
Fucking docker swarm. Why the hell do they have to change the way it works so damn often. Find a good workthough and its not fucking valid anymore cause swarm doesnt use consul to catalog swarm nodes anymore. Well fuck thanks docker now i have to rethink my architecture cause you fuckers wanted to do something half assed.
Sad fucking thing is the change that made you do that shit in the first place doesn't work right for ssl so your damn mesh network is fucking useless for any real world uses unless people like me rig the fucking hell out off it.
Another fucking thing how the hell haven't these fucktards added a shared storage yet, come the fuck on.
Untested code has bugs that cause catastrophic failures in code and I get asked "How the hell did you even find that?!" by a manager on another team.
I pressed enter to post form data.
I know Windows update rants are a dime a dozen but HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MICROSUCKADICK BOOT LICKERS SHOVE SO MUCH HORSESHIT INTO THIS UPDATE THAT IT UNINSTALLED VIRTUALBOX? The hell?
Really, I rebooted my PC, short cuts everything, gone! Newer stuff is there plus any restore point would have had VirtualBox installed, so what the hell.
I’m stating to think that when Windows says “all your files are exactly where you left them” it’s a best guess because it just completely fucked with all your files for no reason and tried to put them back but it’s not so sure.4
Me: Ok lets make a simple chrome app wrapper for devRant just for the hell of it... Oh i really don't like how there is a split line between the title bar and window content...
*2 Days later"
Me: Fuck it! Let's build a title bar library and allow for devRant theming options...
Why must I do this to myself...
Being a full stack developer has been an amazing journey. Looking at a project and understanding how the entire stack work starting from the mobile apps, APIs and DB is a total bless.
Nevertheless, lately switching context between modern languages has been extremely frustrating.
Swift looks like kotlin, elixir looks like ruby. Hell even swift and ruby are very similar.
Writing ruby in Xcode and wondering why the fuck Xcode complaining. Well no shit, swift is not ruby. Took me 5 mins of head scratching to notice it 😢
Hell I am now writing down the latest language I am working with on my hand to keep track 😂4
I hate the feeling when your supposedly crappy company starts feeling heavenly when people looking to join come from *even worse* companies. I mean, I start feeling "how in the actual hell are these companies even alive??!!"
It makes me wonder if I was just born in the wrong country or joined the wrong industry :/4
I was trying to make my own theme for betterdiscord (normal CSS). Once I had the basis I though "Just a bit finetuning left"
Oh boy, I was wrong. Very wrong. It took me 6 hours to complete. That's how wrong I was.
Fucking hell, I suck at css. But at least I got shit done. In case you want to try it:
Still not finished, but at least somewhat documented and the most important screen is done.
Also feel free to leave some feedback, since I love to hear how much I suck at designing1
How the hell am I meant to get a new job in Edinburgh/Glasgow so I can learn React/Angular/Vue when no-one will hire someone without experience in those frameworks?!
I was in 2 roles back to back and in that time, every single Front End Development role now available in the market requires commercial experience in React/Angular/Vue in order to proceed.
Even the 18k Grad/Junior Development roles require commercial experience in some sort of JS Framework yet I'm certainly not a Grad/Junior.
HOW DOES ANYONE USE IT COMMERCIALLY IF THEY'VE GOT NO EXPERIENCE.
For the record, I'm a Front End Developer with 3 Years of experience with personal study experience in React.2
Googling how to electromagnetically shield a espruino project from neodymium magnets over lunch, and that leads on a trail of manipulating and directing em fields...
"What are you doing? That doesn't look anything like a binary tree structure in Java... What the hell is all that?"
"Uhm... Personal research?"
How can you finish your tasks fast when this fucking Xcode from hell, the worst IDE ever, is slowing you down? $H!+@UC!@#$%^&*3
Finishing up the last few edits on the WordPress site from hell, client is here to see the finished product, senior dev looks over at me "so are the registration/login forms and sign out button working correctly again?"
Me: "yeah I'm just checking one thing first-SON OF A BITCH"
senior: "that does not instill confidence that the forms are working"
Wasn't a big deal, forgot to close a div and, well you know how that works
Exercise do the pyramid of * and I looked up how to do it but so many people are able to do it without looking it up I dont know why shit to do with nested for loops makes me feel so dumb.
I know it's not a big deal to not know how to do every single thing but I'm always even stuck on the smallest exercises that apparently more people can do than not. Like how am I supposed to have thought about that or figured that out. How am I supposed to learn all this shit. Like for example just look up a list of basic exercises and I cant do any of them. I'm not good at this and its stressing me out because how will I get better or hell even a job if I cant solve these simple problems? How am I supposed to get better at solving these simple problems? I cant just keep looking at the fucking solution because that wont stick or teach me anything
Most stupid thing to rant about by far7
so my friend and I are canvassing NLEs for our guys at the Post Production squad in our project (we were in charge in infrastructure). We looked at Premiere since it's kinda ok until we found Black Magic Design's Da Vinci Resolve.
First of all, I was suprised with the price. 299 for the Studio Version? Holy fuck, that's cheap as hell! Then there's a free as in free software version which has the core editing features with 1080p rendering. So we grabbed that and kinda suprised it requires postgres but as seeing Resolve having collab and render queues, it makes sense.
Installed them on the PCs the postprods gonna use, they were amazed. We literally saved 500 bucks for an NLE. When they asked how much is it. Our reply was:
and there was silence...
"And it's also 299 bucks for the cooler version".
And silence still ensued.
Guess our guys wasted alot of money on a pipeline that is cheap as hell but more jam-packed than any other NLE found in the market.
Props to you BlackMagic Design.
Man I'm too tired to wake up and look at code in the morning. I'm not even productive until late afternoon by which I only have 2 hours or so to do something.
The rest of the morning feels like a battle to not feel lethargic. How the hell do you look at words on a screen an hour from waking and feel fine with it?
Wish I could find a Dev/R&D job that started in the afternoon 🤔2
I use a DasKey Ultimate with blank keycaps at work and people always ask how the hell I can work with that board. I recently bought a Happy Hacking Pro for my tablet/laptop and I must ask the same question to those who daily drive these..
How the fuck do you deal with this retarded layout??
I used the dip switches to at least change the Del to BS but the physical key is stupid small, the control key position is just idiotic and no dedicated arrows? I use VIM and my work desktop is Linux and I come from a UNIX background. Still makes no sense.
I thought that maybe it would be about time for me to answer this question....(yes, last day :D)
So, worst technology would be "xamarin". Why? Because it is buggy as hell and keeps breaking without touching it.
So, how bad is it? Imagine the worst thing that you can think of and multiply it by cancer, result would be xamarin
Kinda funny: even tho xamarin is own by Microsoft - it is less buggy on Mac6
React Native, Flutter, Xamarine, Cordova hope all of you fucking burn in hell! Piece of shit solutions...
Just want to simply enable remote JS debuggin but the fucking app stops reloading when that shit is turned on. Now how the fuck am I supposed to know what the fuck is wrong with my code, disable remote JS debugging and app loads again.
Fuck this shit!6
So, I need to customize some shit for my company's app...
Just discovered they somehow manage to call a protected method on an object stored in a field... I can't even... How does that even compile? And also, things neccessary for my subclass are private with no getter...
private static final int ZERO = 0;
private static final int ONE = 1;
private static final int TWO = 2;
What. The. Hell. Why?
Damn Java. Though this is the programmer's fault, it does seem to favor this kind of shit.2
Recently changed up my keyboard and bought a US style instead of my usual UK style, but changed it in Windows so I still have all my keys where I expect them.
But how the hell do you guys live with the tiny ass enter button? My pinkie is bigger than it!
i dont know how a developer could not comment the hell out of everything. It's my only way of rubber ducking myself through every situation. Its for myself, not them2
How the hell does a query that usually takes ~500ms to run now magically takes 2.5h! What changed in 30mins URGHH10
I hate Intellij so much ...
* it has the weirdest bugs
* like window focus not working properly,
weird comment/uncomment short (jumps one line down wtf)
* It is slow as hell
* doesn't compile properly (or doesn't give a shit telling me about its actual status).
* Not even the build log is working properly. Why can I hide WARNs but no INFOs?? WTF
* Panels are all over the place and keep coming back, regardless how often I close them ....
ARG ARG ARG, *smashing face on the keyboard*
and the worst ... even though I have the F***ING ULTIMATE version, it constantly nags me about BUYING THE F***NG ULTIMATE VERSION AAAAAARG11
This is getting kind of annoying now. Everytime i am planned for a (small) project, there is less to no briefing and nobody has a clue what to do.
Then how the hell am i supposed to?2
"I'll buy the new iPhone because of its RAM"
"What amazes me of my new iPhone is its wonderful processor"
"I bought my iPhone because it let me free to do whatever I want"
- nobody, never
Seriously, have you ever seen someone saying that? Why the hell we nerd post things about how much is technically poorer an iPhone if compared with other phones when actually nobody cares about this? Come on, I'd never buy an iPhone as well, but I don't think this is the best way to change the other people' mind, I'm pretty sure that will increase the popularity instead.6
Ive installed php before but for some fucking reason it just refuses to fucking work. Im not installing extra bullshit like some people tell me because I had it work exactly how I wanted it to on my desktop but now fucking hell what the hell is the damn deal7
"I placed a bet on you. Not a bet like, with money but on the future: In my head, I see you as a senior in a couple years"
Mate how about waiting just enough to let me finish my studies so I can nope the fuck out of this hell hole of a job?1
I can't really figure out how I grew from learning_syntax -> remembering_function_names -> following_patterns -> developing_a_personal_style -> reading_the_doc -> getting_the_source.
Well I have a long memory problem, so I guess it happened overnight!
Wait, did the doctor say it was a memory problem? Hell no!
going through a rewrite is hell. the first stage you will be disgusted with how they layed out their code, contemplate the dump, eventually rewrite the entire thing, then cry throughout the entire process into your gallons of therapy iced tea.
I don't even know what half of these API calls are for.
ATTENTION PLEASE! Important announcement following:
Please check your interface implementations for correct byteorder according specification BEFORE YOU START COMPLAINING ABOUT DATA FAILURES ON EXCHANGING DATA.
Freakin hell, if I'd get some money for every byte order mismatch on testing interfaces, I'd be a be a billionaire.
And why are all those highlevel I-know-every-fucking-framework developer incapable of checking the real memory content of a datatype, and the real data content on the interface even if you tell them that their byte order is obviously wrong?
No, your system is not the centre of the universe and I don't care how you get your less-than-32bit-datatypes-are-for-assembler-usage-frameworks to change byteorder. It's not rocket science, if there's no ready-to-use-function then write those 4 lines yourself.
Next time I get to specify an interface I'll go for mixed-endian, just to make sure everybody involved knows the concepts of endianess afterwards.2
My colleague is having fever with reactjs and tools. Why the hell a 5 pages static cooperate website of our own need to use webpack?! How often we need to update the site? And today he spent whole day configure his gulp and deployment automation. If I were him, I would have finish the task with bootstrap, jquery and filezilla.3
What the hell is with this date? Not sure if this is intentional... Or a glitch.
From how I read this, March 10 - April 3rd 2020?9
How can I explain to an not IT person, that cloning mouse and keystrokes to 30Computers dosnt influence the main algorithm in any way?
Testing some kind of Survey with 30Clients by klicking the forms and doing some inputs... Basically 30Times the same layout with many radios and buttons (time effort ~10min each + 20Min fixed time) so like hell too long so to minify just let one PC clone the keystrokes to all other
~30Min and done...
So I know if all worked fine
Also the algorithm(selecting some of the best and some of the worst clients by there score) should work also in that pessimistic case if all entered the same values4
How the hell do people handle being graceful in the face of others being confidently, dangerously, stubbornly wrong - particularly when they outrank you?
It's a genuine question. I'm decent at my job but I've met a good number who are way better and also totally diplomatic in the face of the relative idiots (including me) . Is it just the fine art of giving less shits?1
Did anyone tried freelancer.com website?
No offense but how the hell people are ready to take development job for 1$ per hour.
These people are making our job so cheap10
In our company, "UAT".
We using staging environment and most of the data is either missing or corrupt. They don't refresh the data, saying it can impose some security issue.
How the hell are we supposed to complete UAT when there's no data that's in production!!!!1
I fucking killed my hard drive by installing the guest additions in a Windows VM! Everything freezed and crashed suddenly, how the hell is that possible? How can Windows fuck everything up, even in a VM??
(Probably wasn't Windows fault, that makes me even more angry).
This hard drive wasn't even two months, his predecessor died heroically in a tragic magnet incident :(3
Last year in uni:
Module 1: Build two projects in a team using java
Module 3: build a website using python
Module 4: Rasperry PI with Matlab
*** I have to study C++ for the job I will be working at after uni..
I really want to specialise in C++ and finally get proficient in it, but hell no my curriculum requires me to know how to do the same exact thinf with 75668888765 languages... fs
I'm a developer, what have i been doind at my job the past weeks.TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO F*CKING FIX THE TEST ENVIRONMENT, SERVICES AND GIVE ME SOME PROPER TESTDATA, I cannot even test the stuff we need to replace because THERE IS NO WORKING TESTDATA AND NOBODY FEELS RESPONSIBLE TO HELP ME. Then how the hell am I supposed to rebuild this stuff if I don't know how it is working now >:(6
I'm asked by a friend (writer)
F : dude, why you coder guys always show off ?
F : you guys compile just after writing few pages ..... Isn't it show off ?
M: yeah we do ...... to make sure the targeted users will not face any problem.....
F : that's the show off....... Have you seen any one publish a novel book with 2-6 page to make sure that targeted readers don't have any problems ......
Ok so I tried apple
And I hate it. The only Apple product I loved was iPod Shuffle that small little dumb box... That was love
And now, for the iPhone, I will now continue hating it. How do you guys manage to like it? I'm fucking stuck on making an Apple ID since morning. It is fucking showing a hell lot of errors one by one as I go on trying
BTW good news coming up after 2hrs15
I find it hopeless to achieve anything with applications aimed at non-devs, such as PowerPoint. How the hell can it be so difficult to use the same theme in one presentation as in another? If it had been code, I would just have copied the XML, XAML, include, link, script or whatever code in whatever language on whatever platform from the old project and pasted it into my new project. But with "user-friendly" apps I have no control of how anything actually works. I give up, my presentation will be unthemed. Maybe it's for the better anyway, less distracting graphics.5
Client: Hey, can you explain to me how this feature works? I'm totally confused.
Programmer: *explains the entire feature to client* Actually, you made the specs for this. *shows specifications document client created*
Client: Oh right. Sorry, completely forgot about that. It works great. But can we make some changes on...
OH HELL NO.
Me ( solves a problem on Hackerrank)
If it's showing error :- Hell Why the fuck it isn't working ? 😑
If it works perfectly :- Hell, How the fuck it is working ?😼2
I have been diagnosed with conjunctivitis 5 days ago, given antibiotic eyedrops that didnt work, went back to the doctor who just said i got worse, then told me to see another doctor with new diagnosis of keratitis. Called for an appointment, scheduled 2 days from now.
And here i am ranting this because for fck sake i cant look at any screen for more than 2mins. How the hell am i gonna finish this side project. What am i supposed to do for 2 days??🤒😷🤒1
Wtf looking at a Pull Request today for styling 4 buttons...
750 lines of of CSS and not even able to style an anchor!!
How the hell is that even possible!!!1
Small question, huge impact.
How the hell do I make Firebase FCM SDK work on Safari Web and ios safari ?
What do you guys think of forced linters (checkStyle) on java assignments?
At this University we have a submission system that checks for your code where if a line didn't match the coding specification then it's an instant zero.
Being experienced in programming before going to a university, this somewhat surprised me, it also has unit tests implemented in it where it checks against input and output.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Is it too much for people who unlike me never seen code before? Or let them have hell and understand how to deal with it? I personally think it's too much for beginners.3
I saw a thing on the Workplace stack exchange site. This college kid with no in industry experience read the false narrative that "pitting your testers against your developers for bonus money encourages better productivity and bug free code". And thought it sounded good on paper. This worries me in many ways (especially since he wants to make a startup). The first being that he couldn't see how both sides would game the hell out of such a system, which I feel any worthwhile engineer types would easily figure out. The second is seeing money as the major motivating force behind software devs doing their jobs. I had a third but I am tired.
But seriously, who is still writing this bullshit (that article, not the kid's question) in 2016?
Why the hell doesn't Go have generics?? You have to teach Go how to access elements of a list n times if you have n things that need to be sorted!1
Before: why the hell my code isn't running?!! FML 😬
After: How and why the fuck is my code running!!
How the hell does anybody follow the amount of brackets, quotes, single quotes and ` these things in MYSQL, I'm getting a hernia thinking about it.4
(first rant. woot!)
What the fuck are people eating in this office?? How the hell do they manage to spray paint the entire back side of the toilet bowl with a thick layer of fudge? Why the fuck would they think everyone else needs to see their spray painting skills?1
I learned over this weekend that there are no good tape backup systems for Linux. Oh sure, there are a couple of open source projects like Bacula and AMANDA, but they're both a bit too much on the .conf file hell side for me. And fuck literally everything about .tar scripts.
And then you've got things like Backup Exec that, while having its own problems like not being hostable on a Linux machine, will talk to a Linux machine and its connected tape devices with very little hassle.
Linux people: UX is important! Licenses for expensive software are often cheaper than teaching people how to use obtuse systems!1
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE! DESPISE EVERY DAMNED CELL THAT MAKES THEM HOMO MOTHERFUCKING SAPIENS. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM! EVEN THOSE THAT HAVE USABLE BRAINCELLS FALL INTO ABBYS OF COMPLETE VOID WITHIN ENDLESS AMOUNTS OF COMPLETE, RETARDED IDIOTS. HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO VERBALIZE A SIMPLE YET COHERENT THOUGHT! IS IT SO HARD TO KNOW WHAT IN THE HELL YOU WANT AND IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT DOES COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY AMOUNT OF WORDS COMING FROM YOUR DISGUSTING MOUTH IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! CAN THAT CRIPPLED BRAINCELL OF YOUR GRASP A SIMPLE CONCEPT OF AGREEMENT?!4
My company was about to spend $15,000 per month to have a mobile presence engineered and maintained from a third party. The contract was for three years, so naturally, we wanted an exit clause. When they refused, we dropped the pen and decided to roll our own mobile. Those folks are morons...I don't make $15K for month...hell, I'll do it and give you an exit clause! It's amazing how much money corporations have to throw around.
Writing on a small c programm that somewhere calls a method that has a pwrite() in it.
I now wanted to know how long that method takes.
So I add a:
startTime = clock();
In front of it.
The funny thing is, that makes the pwrite fail.
I remove it, it works.
I add it, and it fails again.
What the actual fucking hell.4
Just upgraded to macOS High Sierra (10.13.1), and holy cow it is buggy as hell.
Some of my findings include:
1. unresponsive "cancel" button on certain dialog boxes.
2. erratic behaviour of the "show password" checkbox.
guess how is trying to downgrade until the requisite patches arrive?2
I'm quite confused about job market here in germany. Beside studies I'm working in a data center and have already some practical knowledge about programming stuff and managing applications. Although many companies I apply for say I need more experience. How the hell should I collect it if I don't get the chance to do so. Do you have seen this in other countries as well?5
i'm starting to like reactjs over vanilla, but i can't help but remember how it suffers on npm's dependency hell. i mean just look at what happened before at left-pad. it makes you feel like the entire system is so fragile.3
I love meetups. People scare the hell out of me because of how much they know in relation to myself. But that's usually a good n challenge accepted sort of scare. But in there are the professional bullshitters. These bunch teach me the art of confidence. Don't wanna be a con though2
Threading gui's and sockets...
What a painful day...
I honestly hate python dependency hell.
Started coding in python 2 months back, currently working on a distributed alarm system using rpi3's spent the whole day figuring out how to use it all without them all crashing into one another...1
How do you guys explain to your CEO, PM, boss [whatever] that you cannot give them accurate time estimates for debugging? 😅
If something i made has a bug, and uses external libraries, not even debugging my code (more like, how i used / implemented something has a problem), i obviously have to first of all check what the hell is wrong ! I dont just make bugs for fun and happen to know exactly what is the problem and therefore the solution ...
spent 3 days at internship looking for a bug that's stopping the program from running correctly all the way though
5 minuets before i have to leave I change a single value up 1 increment just because I've had it with the program and for some reason works perfectly just how I want it to SOME GOD DAMN REASON I DON"T KNOW YET
Today is just about me going through some reading for the next step and trying to figure out why the hell that worked1
Guys, please be mindful of your dependencies. I just ran "npm install" and whole hell broke loose.
Imagine having to install 3.6GB of VS2017 C++ junk, just to make the damn node-sass compile.
Obviously the module needs to build on my machine, but one would expect that a nodejs module would not depend on msbuild. Funny how nature does that...
Ok. I'm working on a small website, and MOTHER OF OF WEB DESIGN.
I try to set up WAMP, but it takes me 2 F-ING DAYS.
SO THEN THE FREAKIN HTML SCRIPT REFUSES TO WORK. AND THEN, ONCE I FINALLY GET MY HOPES UP, WAMP DECIDED TO JUST NOT WORK TODAY, SO I SPEND 3 HOURS FIXING THAT CRAP, AND THEN AFTER THAT PIECE OF HELL, I CAN'T FIND ANY EXAMPLE CODE OUTSIDE OF ADVANCED WEB DESIGN, SO I SIFT THROUGH THAT, JUST TO FIND HOW TO MAKE IT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL A DATABASE IS. THAN I REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO INSTALL MIRE PROGRAMS. THAN, I REALIZE THIS GUY IM LISTENING TO IS USING A MAC OS X ALTERNATIVE. SO IM DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET THIS TO WORK. AND THEN, *POOF* ALL MY WORK IS UNREADABLE SPAGHETTI.
ALL FOR A DAMNED TEST.
TL;DR, Php is not good if your working offline.10
But hell, I love my Python8
Okay so if a company decides to use md5 for hashing passwords after a million users already registered how the hell will they transition to any other way of storing passwords. As they don't have plaintext to convert them into the new hashing function.12
Calm down, all of you! I know that a lot of you hate Facebook, whatsapp, Snapchat and Co. And yes, WhatsApp's new status feature complete bullshit and just shows how anti competitive Facebook can be. But who cares? Don't use the feature if you do not like it. Texting didn't change in any way. Ignore the feature. There is probably other software out there that added stuff and you disliked. Did it make you stop using them? Probably not. You just ignored those. Deal with it :D and stop fucking ranting about it. Reading the same shit all over again after waking up. Frustrating as hell!3
Why the hell does NOBODY, including Apple, figure out, how USB-C is supposed to work? I'm tired of shifty half-assed implementations with some having no USB 3.1 (Apple), some not supporting current DisplayPort standards (Apple, Dell) or limiting the speed to USB2.0... *GAAAAH*
Future seems to suck pretty hard.3
Sometimes knowing how to program has this weird effect where you pick apart all tech that has some cross over into your field. I rarely visit a website without seeing something that makes me think, “who the hell thought that was a good idea”.
Lately though, as I learn more about the management side of things, I can see many more reasons that stupid things end up in good products. Lack of time and trying to over-engineering to cater for some odd edge case being the 2 biggest killers.
In 2018 I’m going to be a bit nicer about silly technical mistakes.2
So I read about how NAND mirroring worked as a proof of concept on brute forcing the pass code in Iphone 5c. After reading a few paragraphs, I didn't understand how the researcher came to know what to do with certain challenges along the way. What the hell did I do in my 5 years of studying engineering? I better go back to the basics.
fn key is the most evil shit key from hell
no matter where you put it, there is no layout in which you don't keep hitting it instead of something else.. It's not like you need most of the F# keys anyway you can just as well have the functional keys without this abomination.. or here's one: how about making a fucking mapping hm? To inventor of fn key: "You can suck my balls!"1
Seo bullshit!! How the hell do people do it. My site sits in a desert wasteland. I wish I cloud figure the search engine / traffic thing. Any tips.6
Can't figure out how in the hell to use nunjuck templates (or any for that matter) in metalsmith.
I feel like this is a general problem with oh so minimalistic modern projects. They look kinda cool but fail to do their main job correctly and in a flexible manner. This sort of flexible markup transformation just isn't possible to offload entirely to third party plugins and expect them to come up with some sort of compatibility themselves1
I hate C++ with a passion.
I've been developing my own internal cheats for Counter-Strike: Global Offensive to learn memory reading, thread hooking and etc, and since it's one of my favorite games. But HOLY SHIT is it complex, I don't understand how any can fluently type C++ and be sane.
Does anyone here like C++? And if so, why in the hell do you?14
So I'm looking for jobs ATM related to the web business and a find the one job that kind of appeals to me, (it's basically a social network for business) I head over to the site and see that 1. The designs shit as hell and 2. I pull out my 1337 web dev hacks and what do you know the sites vulnerable to MySQL injections!!! How gr82
how the hell I am supposed to give £1000 for the TNW conference. :( I really wanted to visit it, but I am poor :D2
web dev is hell, really, how hard can it be to add a background-image to the body in a mobile.
seriously, I had it fixed, left bottomx no repeat and contain, just that! as simple as it can be (not really, it would be simple if it hadn't vas at all)
"it works great, but your page can only have one paragraph, more text than that and I will ignore your background in your phone" this is the css talking.
fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!
Two apps on Play Store have same title...
Searching for one of them...
Won't give desired results, directly jumps to unwanted one...
Have to add something to search that is not even present in title to find it...
How the hell does their search even work? I keep getting totally irrelevant results... Or an irrelevant app shows with no other results...1
How the hell do you write an ISO to a thumbdrive on Linux without using syslinux/bootiso (as it's a Windows ISO)?18
am i missing something or am i out of luck?5
How the hell do you interrupt a download in Sublime FTP???!!! Any obvious hot key such as Ctrl+C doesn't work, and there's not a word about how to interrupt an operation in the docs of Sublime FTP.15
What kind of fucking IDE changes the order of the open file tabs randomly?!?
I need to deal with multiple files and I really don't want to search for the file tab every fucking time I need it! It even gives the option to move tabs around as to arrange them as you wish. How is that helpful when the next time a file is opened the arrangement goes to hell?!
Fuck. I wish this IDE didn't have such a good debugger so I'm not stuck with it.1
One year ago I graduated from university college,
Thought I had a stack overflowing with knowledge.
How wrong can one man be?
Very wrong, apparently...
Even though I only had a bachelor degree,
I landed a job at a nearby company.
Today I'm maintaining the code I wrote back then,
Seriously wondering if I could just write it all again.
The code I wrote I would consider a crime,
But it's good to see improvement over such a short time.
I still dread coming back to this code in another year,
Thinking yet again; "What the hell went wrong here?".2
Trying to write a program a la `man` in ncurses and just, is this hell?
I just want a floating header, a scrollable main body that reads from a file, and a command line footer, why is that so difficult? I finally got it to handle resizing terminals but now I need to try to compile it for windows, which does have unofficial ports of ncurses, but I have no idea how to use them.
Should I just restrict the windows version to a non-interactive command instead of a TUI like I want?2
Does anyone knows what the hell is "coala" that's used for liting and fixing code? Cause I am pushing something and they said I need to fix my code using "coala" but I can't seem to figure it out what it is, how to install... I even tried to install in atom as plugin but that shit gives errors.7
Its normal if i drop some eyedrop at my new job ? My boss don't know anything of is network ... Cannot help me with noting no code no net... All the code is done already is a deep shit full of breach im fucking solo in a room face a brick wall no window ! Can i stay for 10 month at this place ?
Need to coding but have no cluse how to connect to a fucking database no user no password ...
Its the fucking hell here 👿😢3
Usually it's customer support.
We are a small team, so developers handle support, on a rotation basis though. But this is a hell lot of distraction because of the context switch. :(
Sometimes there are really disturbing tickets like how do I call this API using HTML? (*cries in spanish)
So I do some custom integrations for a local bank. A customer is referred to me by the Bank, we failed to o agree on the price by about 100usd. The customer the goes to some old timer who doesn't even know the difference between php and asp. Then new 'dev' can't figure out how to do the integration and then turns to me to do the work for him for 1/3 of what I had charged the client. Don't know if I should tell him to go to hell or call the customer and ask him to get a hire someone who can differentiate between his nose and ass hole.1
How the hell do you get jobs on sites like freelancer.com? As a newly registered user, things seems so confusing and almost impossible to own a bid :/1
What the ****? I added a call to one method, how the hell it could broke it so badly?
> Compile failed with 1163 errors; see the compiler error output for details.1
Which encryption library do you people use with c/c++? I'm trying to use openssl but well there is more documentation about how to replace my own heart in the dark than on that. Also most of the structs have missing declarations hell yeah its nice to have a EVP_PKEY but what's that? Oh I know it's a evp_pkey_t and what's that? Nothing apparently. Comments? You kidding??? A proper library doesn't have them...3
How in the hell did I manage to learn to program in C++ without actually writing the code for past 2 weeks?
So my boss moved me to build some software to IoT devices we have because he didn't have the time to do it. But I haven't used C since college (I mostly use Java), but I'm trying to handle it. But right now we are developing a feature that is taking longer than expected and he comes over and tells me how easy it is to do it. Really? You were trying to do it that way for a shit ton of time and it didn't work, do you really expect it to work because it's me? Fucking hell!
After my third "requested changes" I've officially lost all dignity I held. Spend hours working, wrong solution. Revert, not working. Fix, removed functional code. I think my brain is just broken. Or maybe this project is just massive and I just can't wrap my head around it properly. Or maybe I'm just clueless. One day I'd like to be at a level where you hear an issue and immediately know the solution, where the problem lies in the code, how to fix it, and how long it will take. Hell, I'd settle for even one of those right now. The learning process is so stressful.
Hell yeah, I love that feeling! I have absolutely no idea about working with the LEMP stack (nginx in particular) and I'm slowly figuring out how to get it working. Even tho I just noticed that chrome doesn't support npn for http/2 and that I am still up (GMT+1) I wanna continue working in this project. Man, I love that feeling <31
trying to figure out why this folder is allowing restricted files formats to run, and finding nothing but 'It's a windows folder' what the hell internet DX my school runs windows and it's in that directory children aren't allowed to mess with, of course it's a damn windows folder, but how can I stop them from running viruses accidentally in that folder without causing windows to stop working
Back to god damn research
Thank you for your time
I still haven't manage to transition from Notepad++ to Sublime although the former is crap and I ranted about it already several months ago. I just can't seem to find the time it takes to configure Sublime to my likings. It seems like a great IDE, but it's hell to set up an FTP browser like the one in Notepad++. Of course I have googled (or rather binged) the problem, and tried suggested solutions but still no joy. How hard can it be to just set up an FTP connection to my web host and browse its directories/files in a sidepane? How do I achieve this, anyone have good advice to share?3
How the HELL someone develops a 'NEW' (essentially table layouts from the '90s) way of building layout with CSS and delivers this massive dump?
Why can't I make a div expand to fill the remainder space in this layout?
Seriously... I need to wrap 10 divs inside each other to make a design behave correctly really like in the 90s? And the new kids on the block think this 'flexbox' is any good? Amazing sheeple... amazing. ADD MORE WRAPPERS!
align-self should JUST WORK in the example above... but hey... it does not.
I just want to be able to add/remove the sidebar and content, keeping the footer below and headers above.
It's amazing the ammount of shims required to do anything in development on the frontend.5
To hell with this auto path rewrite VS Code, when I rename a file you find all files and rewrite the imports, but now you did it wrong
and I have a huge mess to pick, I have no idea how you did this but you wrote long paths which don't make sense
why did you put node_modules in-front of all my imports when I moved a folder which has nothing to do with node modules1
Maybe it just me, but I am tell to myself with confidences "I am smart" when I figuring out how to make GRADLE work offline.
But then I hit 'make project' I find failed linking reference.
I am yelling to myself "why in the hell I still working with these stuff anymore!"
"Gradle sync offline" with gradle is fine, then I find another boss battle "Gradle build offline"
For the last two months, I've been taking online courses in using Selenium (website testing tool) under C# and Java. The courses have you set-up the testing framework in something called Page Object Model. What the hell?? I've been doing this since 2010 under 3 different tools. You mean the industry adopted it as a standard and gave it a name and I never knew this?! ARGH!! Time to update the resume again and say how long I've been using this type of testing framework (since before it had an official industry name).
It is nice to see work I have been doing for years has become an industry standard. Wish I had known that when I was putting my resume together back in March so I could have included that. Damn it, I wonder how many jobs I missed out on by not having that already in my resume.
Could any dev here explain how do u apply SVM to HOG features? I know what HOG features are but cannot for the life of me figure out how the hell to use them in an SVM -_-2
When 10 months old article about possible problems and how to avoid with mocha, chai and es8 is outdated as hell...
But the problem is that only in the comments did they write that it is outdated!12
How the hell can a framework like Zend 3 have an instance of a class, this container, this service manager, that is basically responsible for instantiating everything but not have it accessible on a global level? Why do I have to create a factory class for every class that i intend to have access to this service manager? Zend is bull-fucking-shit.
I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how to use atom editor with my website somebody please direct me to the right package!!2
Just how the hell did we get here!? The culture war has no place in our community. People push their code under anon pseudonyms. When even.the normies are getting scared, you know we're in a very dark place.