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Search - "half of"
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Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.
Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.35 -
We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“25 -
That deserves to be here.
For me coding is best at about half of second 0,5l beer with ~5-6% alc. drunk at rate beer/hour. Did half of my bachelor's thesis during half of that second beer probably.
https://xkcd.com/323/11 -
List of things that my fucking corporate proxy blocks
* Maven
* The NPM registry
* Github
List of things that aren't blocked
* Google drive
* Twitter
* Porn
Half my mobile data is burned away by NPM sinkholes. Fuck this place.20 -
My Boss: Let's do single page web but we wont use any framework.
And yes, how fuck I ended up myself with almost half 10k of lines.14 -
Broke my glasses in half.
Not being able to see shit i took my 3D glasses apart and ziplocked my glasses lenses on the 3d glasses frame. Been using this version of my glasses for a good one and a half year. Yeap13 -
Ah, let me open my half baked personal Android project. Maybe I'll finish it this time.
*opens Android studio*
"You have shitloads of updates. Please download and restart now"
Ok, makes sense. I haven't opened it for a month.
*runs the app*
"CoolApp has crashed"
What the fuck? It was all working before. WTF happened.
*half an hour of online research*
The google play service version is somehow fucked up. So let's fix that.
*App opens*
Yay! Let me login right away!
*Login via google doesn't work*
I didn't even touched the bloody code.
*another half an hour of research. Nothing works*
Fuck this shit.10 -
Resigning tomorrow, and I can't sleep. Thrilled to finally end the slavery at a company that pays me half of the market price. Exciting day coming up..5
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When you're trying to fix your code but you don't want to delete anything valuable so you just comment out half of the file 😂8
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Today I took the risk of upgrading my gradle to a newer version
5 and a half hours later I figured it was a bad decision.
:/13 -
I was hired to create a MailChimp clone for internal use. Since then, more than half of the marketing team has been fired because their work is not needed anymore.14
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The reason half of Games Development students drop out is because they think "me like play game, me make game"
Instead of actually being interested in the development.23 -
They say developers don't have social lives...
Over one half of my total commits on GitHub have been from just Fridays and Saturdays...
I mean, I guess they're not wrong.4 -
Well, the OS that is my brain has an official uptime of 19 years... It's gotten pretty buggy, I'm not sure what the devs were thinking with half the features...12
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Today someone called about issues with setting up email (they were hosting where I work) locally.
Fellow support guy spend half a FUCKING hour trying to explain it.
Throughout that half our, our activities existed of making gun-to-head gestures, sending meme faces back and forth (derps, fuckthisshitimout's, trololol's and so on).
It was hard to contain our laughter but damn he needed that badly 😆6 -
Enough of Linux stickers! Here are some stickers of products which I barely recognize half and use none at work 😅16
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Quit my first dev job. Don’t have another gig lined up. Here’s hoping I find another gig before I run out of savings.
Wish me luck, folks.20 -
When the client sends you a template they want to use and half of the css file looks like this...18
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When you realize that you are in the third school year and still the half of the class prefers eclipse over intelliJ and think that git is useless.18
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Pessimistic people: the glass is half empty
Optimistic people: the glass is half full
Engineering people: the glass was not manufactured to the correct specifications5 -
Really?! Now even StackOverflow is going to be nice and welcoming to users?!
Half of our fucking rants are about StackOverflow and it's asshole moderators. 😑9 -
Company grows a 30% and internet starts getting slow.
Solution from company: Block half of common websites8 -
Blah blah blah JavaScript is the worst blah blah blah clients suck blah blah blah everyone’s an idiot
Am I instafamous yet?8 -
*the Company closes a project and splits us in different teams*
Me: *tells the manager for half a year about feeling extremely bad in the new team which is mobbing me, caling the previous project "shit" (it was not, it simply didn't need to be alive anymore cause we found out cheap alternatives) and not letting me do anything*
Company(half a year later): *sends me into a new project* we don't get why you are underperforming lately.
Me: *full burnout after half a year of being treated as living shit* yeah. Wonder why.8 -
Get assigned ticket.
Finish the most of the feature. Finish most of the specs.
Push.
Second dev wants to own accounting half of the ticket.
Rip out half my changes, rewrite specs.
Push.
Code review asks for minor changes.
Finish them.
Push.
Product creep creeps the scope.
Finish the feature again.
Push.
Product creep creep-creeps the scope.
Finish the feature again.
Push.
New release happens.
Merge in master; fix conflicts. Run specs; random unrelated specs fail, some fail intermittently. Rabbit holes of complicated, unexplored, obviously-flawed code.
Fuck that. Push.7 -
I love learning new and exciting technologies, but I hate that it makes me want to rewrite half of my projects.3
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“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin1 -
Started learning vim... It feels like a DIY IDE where you have to find half of the parts on the internet...7
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Getting stuck on a problem for 1 and a half hours when you realise Python was aliased to python version 2.7 instead of 3 :(
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Was feeling like a boss in new office after fixing a major bug.
Yes, the bug was fixed. Only half of the program doesn't work anymore.1 -
I apparently got home drunk last night and watched half an hour of a talk on optimizing compression for web applications.
Now I'm caressing a slight hangover with coffee and watching the rest of it.1 -
Stewart doing his routine security brief:
"Please put your phone on airplane mode.
If you own a Galaxy Note 7, please turn it off."
*Half of passengers cracked up*3 -
My food-loving other half just said this to me:
Her: "I love you more than pie"
Me: "Aww, that's nice"
Her: "I love you 4.173692 out of 10"
Me: "..."5 -
Using 10% React with the rest in Jquery. Importing a giant legacy CSS blob in a newly made SCSS file. Two thirds of the API documentation in docblocks, the rest in Markdown files. Half of the repositories in Github, the other half in Bitbucket. The root of every project littered with ymls and jsons and readmes of stupidly named tools no one has ever heard of.
Fuck your partial refactoring, fuck your little experiments, fuck all this half work. I'm so done with this shit. 😡5 -
Perhaps you've seen my earlier post about the bottom half of a lamp post?
I've really stepped up my environment for this one. NOTE: Top half of the lamp post still not modeled.
Here, we see a 16K skybox, a a reflective sphere, and a glass sphere, in addition to my original lamp post base.
It used 2.24 GB of memory to render. But only took 47 seconds.13 -
Me: what's the square root of 5+7(2*4) / 4?
Him: *takes half a second* about 3.74
Intel i7: fucking loser5 -
STOP. LOOKING. AT. HALF. FINISHED. SPRINTS. FOR. STYLING. ERRORS.
For the love of god I know it's not right yet leave me aloooooone7 -
Code comment rant of the day... fcking excel just cost me over half an hour to fix the fking formatting...1
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Humanity has reached its peak!
Outstanding move! Deploy it in production 🔥🔥
https://skillprogramming.com/top-ra...6 -
3 years ago I started my computer science bachelor's, during this time I thought that I would finish my 3 years and get a job as soon as I'm finished, I was certain that I would never study any advanced programs.
I was also told from my seniors that only an 8'th of all of us that started will get a degree on time since half quits the first year, half of what's left quit the second and half of what's left the third year will get a job before finishing
3 years later, not only did I get my degree on time , but I am now studying for a masters...
Moral of the story: never say never || life is strange || you can't plan ahead in life4 -
Editing this method for half an hour. All of a sudden I realized I was editing the wrong method. This was me.
*Slowly presses CTRL-Z 100+ times*4 -
When you're in the middle of a spree and you haven't saved in the past half hour. Then this blue beauty appears. 🙃
We all know who the winner of week 27 is...6 -
I finally finished a project after weeks of not knowing what to do with my skills.
What that project is?
It's a discord bot that bans half of the members in a server. :/6 -
Yall know those small biscuits, with half of them covered in chocolate? I mean why half? Cover it all, or leave ot naked, but this way i cant be sure which is the chocolatey side to put on my tongue in the dark. Its a complete gamble.
...yeah im getting fat8 -
I forgot that WiFi was turned off, and so I went through half of my data plan in just an hour. Fml2
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I'm done with laptop stickers. After about a year, half of the libraries I have stickers for have updated their logos.2
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Been tinkering with circuits all afternoon, and then i made the mistake of eating some pastry right off of my table. Pretty sure i ingested like half a roll of solder lmao.8
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Accidentally plugged external disk into usb2 instead of USB 3 didn't realise till half way through 60GB VM's copy.2
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XIAOMI vs APPLE..?
XIAOMI providing almost 90% of the specs of APPLE for half price, shouldn't we go for XIAOMI instead of APPLE....?20 -
I was studying male anatomy for a 3d model from pics of half naked men. My friends saw me looking at pics of half naked men..3
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Corporate Culture™: when those seniors who spend half of their time gossiping with each other pretend to be too busy to answer a junior's question.2
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Discrete mathematics teacher said "13*37" in the middle of an Euclidean algorithm.
Half the class giggled and the other half just sighed.
These students are your future co-workers.2 -
!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.
Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...
A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.
A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....
game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡
Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant1 -
Happiness is removing all the compiling warning from a project which has half a million of lines of codes
*peace*3 -
Drinking game: everytime someone ++/comments/mentions you on devrant , drink half a pint.
Of coffe
-Said Linuxer4fun, 1421 -
LOL (Lots of Love) to CG (Chaudhary Group) of Nepal.
They're providing new ISP service 120mbps (double the speed of existing competitors) on half the price of current competitor's 60mbps package.
This is unheard of.
for context:
competitors : 60mbps -> $20/month
New CG net: 120mbps-> $9/month40 -
So I just found out that half the software requirement specification that I spent a good month writing, half of it may possibly be scrapped due to the client constantly changing their minds about what they want to do.3
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11.1/11.4 GB of RAM is being eaten open on boot, even though I just rebooted. Almost half of my swap is in use too. WTF! Windows is no help in explaining it either...SO ANNOYING!15
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Ah yes, the casual 1500 lines file that is a huge switch that somehow handles routing, half of the logic and two thirds of state managment. Nice to meet you, I'm glad I can work with you.3
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I wrote a scientific paper of six and a half pages.
This man wrote 60 comments on it.
I admire the dedication. 😐8 -
Fuck Azure, Fuck Windows, Fuck Microsoft.
Half ass baked products in the market. Half the time there's no documentation. When there's a documentation it is so bad that it makes me feel like biting my teeth so hard that I am left with fucking pieces of incisors. My blood fucking boils whenever I need to deal with "POWER"shell. Fucking weaklings.15 -
Any half-stack developers here?
I think I'm a few stacks short of a quarter-stack. :-/
So much to learn and it keeps growing!1 -
I always wonder what could be achieved if I only worked with half the intensity I have during the final weeks of a semester.3
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it wasn't really useless but i spent months of my internship making a software that was shelved because "it was taking too long to be made". half of my year in the trash4
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Can I just point out how awesome SideFX houdini is!?
It allows you to create (procedurally generate) 3D models using a method that is half coding and half 3D modeling. Kind of the way I'd want blender to work, but 10 times better.6 -
Friend learning typescript: JavaScript is easy, you do exactly opposite of what you did in java. Typescript is a half baked mess.
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An infinite number of Rubber Duckys typing randomly on an infinite number of keyboards will eventually create half life 3.
Also, a single Rubber Ducky typing randomly on a single keyboard, left alone and unobserved has both created half life 3 and not created half life 3 at the same time.1 -
I’m half developer and half dogshit corrector.
Dogshit specifically being the output of people who fail to properly do the one thing that they are paid for.
Because if I don’t do it, nobody does.4 -
I get a feeling nowadays that a lot of u guys here know each other well.
I dnt knw if that made sense. I’m half asleep.28 -
I was deaf but now i'm half blinded ! :/
(Glad i know the place of the keys)
So boered cuz i cant code or even read a book!
FUUUUUCK !!!!18 -
I use "fuck" to rarely i analyzed my rants and comments and have written 8465 words and only 37 occurences of "fuck". That's not even half a percent5
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How I felt after spending an entire afternoon planning and designing a new feature for a project only to realize half of my design was wrong after I started implementing it1
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Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.14
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Overtime rant, I suspect they will try to denie me half of the overtime pay for the past week cause I did more than ordered to reach their arbitrary deadline.
I will in return offer to delete half the work I did. Rollback changesets and delete the code. -
My laptop battery is absolute rat-shit, it drains half of itself when I try to copy a large file...16
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Just remembered one day from university
So, I've not been on any programming lectures and labs
Decided to go for one at least
Terrible hangover, late for half of a hour
Grab list of tasks
Fuck, 15 tasks. All very easy, but a lot
Half of a hour later teacher started to check works
- Oh, please, come back to me later, I need another 5 tasks to be done
- What? Did you read header? You were supposed to do two tasks of your choice
- ... -
Today I attended the first half of the WhiteHat challenge at CERN :) one more to go to be a certified pentester! I expected lots of learning, and my expectations were not let down, game on!11
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Just discovered 20+TiB of Splunk data in our AWS account today. We haven't used Splunk for almost a year and a half...6
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I just broke out of merge-hell.... It was a mere 2 and a half hours... But my migraine says it was eternity.... 😶
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Fine don't take my suggestion during refactoring old code. Keep the python code over 100 lines of code...we could have cut it in half, but whatever
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I spent an hour and a half googling and compiling my code because I typed `#ifdef` instead of `ifndef` in one my header files.
Can you C the difference?2 -
4 and a half years doing socket/network programming and I only just learnt my understanding of TCP was largely incorrect...
Well then... That's something...3 -
Well fuck me i thought working for a company was 1) i do work 2)company pays me. Not fucking spending 3 whole days running between government offices trying to get my taxes done because half of the documents can only be sent online and the other half can only be sent in person.1
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The student assistant gave me a half point penalty for writing down to much comments! Direct translation:
To much of this kind of comments is not needed, the code itself is clear on its own.12 -
My middle school sucks. My county sucks. My friends - they don't suck, they're just gone. Well, most of them. The county has divided my school as we went into high school. Half my school is going to one high school, and half to another. I'll never see my friends again, but most importantly, I won't have anyone to talk about coding with or anyone to teach 😪.4
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I smoke a lot of weed, then code for half an hour in my petproject and then I can do whatever the fuck im suposed to do6
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Took me an hour and a half to realize why my function wasn’t returning anything that made sense.
Forgot to put a negative sign in front of my negative bound.
Took me an additional hour and a half to solve for all the edge cases.
Relatedly, I should learn to sleep more.
Also, kind of proud of my notes application, but the tables go all funky in mobile and my CSS wizardry is .... not even amateurish.
I am so tired, I literally almost *signed* this.3 -
That moment when you think to use fopen instead of open, and everything comes together magically. Only lost half a day debugging this too!1
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This website design PSD is bullshit. If I hide the group of layers labeled "Nav" half of the page disappears.6
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You get home from work and one half of your brain goes, "Let's just code a little to catch up on the backlog", and the other half of your brain goes, "No way you psycho, we're off from work and we're not getting paid for this. I'm not helping!"
And that's why you're code sucks when you're not at work! -
My current job. Fire half the dev staff, leave junior as only web dev with no plans to rehire. Then immediately starts a larger project that we don't have a contract for yet with half baked and fuzzy requirements, due by March. The reason for firing most of the staff? Running out of money and can't promise our jobs 3 months out.7
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Me, consulting for a huge entertainment company:
Why do you guys have a 500 line method? And why is half of it so nested that it's indented half way across the screen?
Them: Oh, that was written by the best dev on our team. He holds a PhD.
🙃 so thats what kind of skill a PhD gets you these days?5 -
Just finished a week and a half with 30 hours of overtime AND got my stickers today. This is turning out to be a great Wednesday!2
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Got appraises on first day of my job by reducing the calls to redis by half.
All I did was replace SET and EXPIRE with SETEX.1 -
most of the self-described "AI experts" on my Linkedin feed were "scrum masters" not even half a decade ago. something to think about2
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Yay got my first certificate! C# (even though half of the context wasn't available in our books...)3
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I think the textbox (where I am writing right now) should be scrollable. And also the half of the screen is unusable.
Please fix it.10 -
When you debug a piece of code for a good half an hour and then realise you forgot to change the name of some variable when copying code from earlier bits.3
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I missed half of the Algorithm classes because of sleep but managed to keep the highest marks.
Faculty members that don't force on attendance are a blessing!2 -
German saying:
Die Hälfte seines Lebens
wartet der Admin vergebens.
means in English:
The Admin waits in vain for half of his life.1 -
I missed a half of an important meeting today... because my priority is a task given today that has a deadline today8
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Java: each type is required being in a seperate file with the type's name, many of my projects have way to many files, half of them for really small interfaces or classes16
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I got two, both my internships sucked.
First one, I got hired for a C++ job, did JS for most of it. Half the team quit while I was there lol. I was in charge of the whole frontend when I left.
Second one, again half the team quit while I was there, leaving me with only ppl in Europe to talk to lmao.1 -
Just looking at the basic syntax of Kotlin gives me half a chubby. hahaha
It is just so damn simple and sexy!
https://kotlinlang.org/docs/...2 -
Of the rants that have tags, it seems like half of them contain some sort of non-tag that is dry wit, self-aware joke, or humorous comment.7
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Half of my dev team has decided to leave. Back-end decreases with 75% and front-end team decreases with 20%.
This is the fourth time that half or more of the dev team has to be replaced in my companies existing (which is less than 10y).2 -
120 people on a conference call can't figure out why an half of the country is having connection timeouts3
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Spending half the day wondering why the longest javascript calculation in existence is not matching client supplied excel by 0.22 percent.. Realised one number was parseInt'd instead of parseFloat'd... FML
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After only using Linux for some weeks I decided to start my mac again.
Half of the programs didn't work anymore, I shit you not -
I am so f'ing stupid. Half an hour of debugging, only to discover the problem was a simple typo. this feels bad.4
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Today is the first day that we have to go back to the office and more than half of the company is exempt from that rule11
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I would love to get into more frameworks, but half of them make 90% of your work harder, are not documented well enough or are just confusing what they actually offer. 😥1
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Windows update process takes half an hour. Restart pc.
A message: "updates have been installed" ...
Ffs You think I didn't notice? And why is there no more information? What exactly did you need this half hour of updating for? At least give me a changelog, or the biggest changes.2 -
(probably a stretch and only Aussies will understand half of what I'm saying with this one buuut)
Not at all, I did a certificate 3 from TAFE in information and technology with a prominent amount of the course being on software diagnostic and web development and to this day have used absolutely 0 of the knowledge I gained and half of it is now deprecated and obsolete anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯4 -
Lets make an app that shows a lot of ads. Oh, people actually have to download and use it? Well, let's half-ass a game and name it [...] of[...]!
-every mobile game studio2 -
Jeez, it can be done! Thank you CSS, i really thought it wasn't possible. My bacon is saved. (Overriding an inline style, javascript generated, from a linked style sheet).2
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Wowza..... Security certifications get expensive! Gonna have to spend half the week writing one hell of a business case for the certs my team needs!2
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None of my exes believed at first, one can be twice as obnoxious as Sheldon Cooper without being half as bright.
At first. -
I have my computer architecture midterm in about 3 hours and I understand almost half of the material. Wish me luck, I'll need it!3
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Half of the day is spent on meetings, and the other half is spent hearing others saying, oohh but do we have a ticket for this task? Should we create a ticket for it??1
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Our favorite ticket system blokes are back with a big fat update for their software.
What changed?
All workflows are fucked because everything is somewhere else suddenly!
Half of the features suddenly stopped working!
Variable formats in forms have been changed from {} to [] without reason, migration or warning! Sorry, {Username} ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Half-assed features that don't work half of the time have also been added!
Fucking great!
Who beta tests this shit? Nobody?2 -
It took me at least half an hour to figure that one out. :(
These kind of bugs are the most depressing.3 -
"Working as designed" : slang. The acceptance criteria were too hard, so we only completed half of them.
synonym: "not a bug" -
I need a new fucking job. Woke up at half 11, missed a couple of meetings. Think I'm just apathetic coz of stupid fucking lying bastard management.9
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!dev
My toilet paper roll is fucked, the rip line only goes half the width of the roll so it always tears off a part of the next piece
We cannot live in a world of chaos8 -
\Bug Report/
With personal hotspot on, certain pages cut off half of the bottom navigation bar - profile is one such page (see attached ss).
iPhone 6 on iOS 105 -
At some point someone in Apple will realise literally nobody listens to 5 and a half hours of audiobook at once and that they need a way of bookmarking a certain time in it5
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Stack Overflow has lost around 50% of its traffic over the last one and a half years. I can't begin to imagine why.
https://observablehq.com/@ayhanfuat...13 -
So management decided that they wanted to reduce the infection chance by 50%. How? Half of the employees are gonna be working from home. I mean they are technically right.6
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In one of my previous jobs. There are some scripts programmed by people that seems to don't know what a function is. It was a fractal of replicated if else code. Every half of the code is almost identical to the other one except for a simple things. Then if you see each half you can see the same pattern again and so on. Files like that are about 50.000 lines long. If you blame it, you see mostly the usernames of current managers. If that is not enough, it was written in perl
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!rant
When after one month of the event, a month n a half of the request, and a failed delivery attempt, the swag finally arrives!!
Stickers!! <3
Happy scenes!
Thank you Mozilla!!4 -
Why are most projects only fun at the beginning? I feel like there should be a "first half" and a "second half" during development.
So if I have worked the whole of first half someone else should work the other half with full bar and zeal just like a football match because honestly most times I feel like I'm gonna die towards the end of the project hoping for another developer to come on as a substitution.
However, in this case instead of going to seat on the bench after being substituted, I am willing to play another match immediately.4 -
!dev
Well just saw guardians of the galaxy for the first time and.... Nope, didn't enjoy it...
I shall now retreat back to my safe space of coding half assed applications...2 -
I found a cooler master atx with built in power for like half the price of a cm atx and a cm power supply yay2
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This is like - drinking a glass of water after every beer, to cut the amount of consumed alcohol by half.
It is pretty much useless...4 -
Can someone suggest me a good Twitter client. Half of my feed is straight up garbage, filed with tweets from accounts I don't follow or ads. 80% of the accounts I follow are developers, yet more than half the posts I see are related to politics. Why!! just why!!??!!??
Also I wish more apps had chronogical sorting of posts like devrant. :/7 -
And I forgot to do half the metric tonne of stuff I had to do today. I'm not even disappointed anymore.
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*looks at job posting*
*more than half of the first sentence are tech buzz acronyms*
*closes tab immediately* -
I don't understand why people are so preoccupied with new languages and scared to try them out. At least half of the language features are a rehash of the same ideas and the other half are 2-3 ideas. Seriously. I find it distasteful that people in my co are so scared of learning new shit. NEED To GTFO.3
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A bit of a shocker to see Microsoft putting an add that isn't annoying or eating up half the screen or damaging my eyes, let's hope it stays like this1
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Oh my fucking god, we're doing SCRUM, why does every task get stuck in review limbo and take a sprint and a half minimum because of it.
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well I start my first dev job in a week and a half. after telling my family I was resigning from my helpdesk support gig, they asked about the pay and didn't understand why the dev job payed more.
I tried to explain it and I think about half of them got it but the older half still just associate it as "computer stuff" -
It's my first time learning back end and I feel like I'm leaving half of my intelligence back before I boot my laptop to try get somewhere1
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I have dreams where I stare at code/tables/program output, half of the problems are real and half are made up, I wake up stressed out about not solving anything and trying to remember which is the real half I need to solve.
Why can't I dream about the video games I play? I need to get a life... -
Elsie: -Does that make it a glass half full or glass half empty type of situation?
Bernard: -We're engineers, means, the glass has been manifactured to the wrong specifications....
Gotta love Westworld :)
(Also, damn.. Do those foldable tablets they use look awesome?!)
(Src: Westworld s1 e6 around 5th minute)4 -
If you don't have an empty can of fizzy water or a half-empty company water bottle next to you, are you really in the zone?3
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I feel like more than half of the time i spend coding Java is actually writting system.out.println().
I mean come on ! Who got time for that ?!5 -
Half sleeping at the train and writing some codes on the back of the ticket ... What is wrong with me1
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If being late can be marked as "half day leave"; should leaving early also be marked as "half day leave"?
On a side note, my company already has just 3.4 out of 5 ratings on the basis of 3 ratings, on glassdoor... Now they're messing up with 2 employees on notice period. Both of us are planning to give 1. :)4 -
Suggestions @dfox :
What about profile achievements?
10/100/1000 total +1s
Invent a new metric unit: rants/week
Can @localhost get a gold star or something on his profile for first to 1000?
Silver stars for people who gave an idea that was impliemented
Bronze star for people who have gotten a stress ball
I'm half working on this project, half thinking of DevRant... It's Friday!6 -
Pretty much half of what clients ask for.
But to be more specific a username on a login form instead of an email address when it already had ratelimiting lockouts implemented on an internal network. -
I've noticed loading half of a small dataset twice is faster than loading the full small dataset once from files around half a terabyte.
Any tips?11 -
Half of my time coding is spent coming up with descriptive, unique var names that won't clash with damn namespace.2
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Go to sleep, you don't need to be half an hour looking for the cause of the bug that ended up being a typo.3
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Fuck companies that want you to build new systems that are a superset of what they already have when they can't even tell you what they have now. Fuck you with your bullshit, nonsensical, self-contradicting, third-assed diagrams--some half-UML, half-clip-art, half-pie-chart drivel. If you're the CTO of a company and you want me to think long and hard about rebuilding your distributed systems, you can think long and hard about expressing what you already have. And NO: a verbal explanation pow-pow WebEx over your DSL connection with your protege that mumbles worse than an Atlantan rapper doesn't count as fucking "knowledge transfer" of your fucking architecture, FOR FUCKS SAKE.
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Spent an hour today deciding if something in my framework should be called functions or methods... Decided on methods and had to rewrite half of my documentation.... Productive day...
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Chose going to a 21'st I didn't want to go to instead of drinking at home and working... Half regretting this...
Send a fellow dev help -
Uggg if you are going to revert color changes fine but don't revert 3 hours of template edits which I did to make the theme look half decent. Like seriously!
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The revolution has started. Over half of the computers in my household run Linux, the other being macOS. Even my grandma has hopped on the Antergos train.
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Make time. Spend half of it to read about and try things that interests you, spend the other half to create something with it. This applies to any kind of skills.
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Wondering for half an hour why the 7zip batch commands are not working.
Realized I was using 7zip instead of 7z :( -
Kong API Gateway in Kubernetes is a load of balls. Spent half a day trying to stabilise the deployment after I bumped its pod resource requests.1
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// Make this less shitty
// Repair later
// Clean up and make it less half asses
Those are my 3 laziest things I end up doing in a bunch of my progra2 -
Spent half a day creating my CV, some time ago and today it was time to upload it to my site.
Unfortunately, swapped the first and second arguments of the tar command, so the CV file got overwritten with the tarball...
After about ten minutes of panicked searching in my browser cache, I realised that the jetbrains IDEs have local history 😀
So I did not lose half a day's work after all 😃 -
I just wasted half an hour of debugging because the NPE-analysis of our tool had thrown some serious-looking errors.
It turned out the client had checked in broken code into VCS 🤷6 -
Who from fucking IBM thought that implementing hundreds of Constants for MQ WebSphere was a fucking Good idea, when half of them can't even be used with pcf. Even when they would be usable their Documentation is like horse shit you can't find anything in there without spending half of the day looking for an explanation.
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I just changed my username from 'aashimaY' to 'sarena'. Can anyone guess what the new one means. Hint: It's a combination of two words, with the second half being a famous thing (I guess).
PS: You may not get the first half and that's fine. But I would love to see if anyone can guess the second one.11 -
When the project manager decides to change the ux of a project with out informing you and your half way through with original requirements.
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I'm trying to waste time reading rants, but don't get half of them because our work wifi network is too slow to load pictures
fml1 -
I'm working with an API where, for some reason, half of the numbers are returned as numbers and half as strings. I'm baffled more than David composing hallelujah.5
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“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin
I am in the higher percentile. That means 95% of you are dumber than me! ;-)6 -
!rant
In the past two hours my wife has painted half of our garage.
Visual studio started installing before that. For fuck sake what is taking so long!!!!!!????!!5 -
This... I always swore that this would be a sign of the apocalypse. Mainly, I'm just curious how the other half lives.4
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In the interest of honesty - I'm much fatter than my avatar portrays. My avatar is quite literally half the man I am. #AspirationalAvatar1
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happiness is formtting half of your classmates laptop from windows to ubuntu!!!
#WelcomeToTheFamily7 -
Why the response to a SOAP request is a HTTP error?
It took me half an hour to find the reason of an empty response.1 -
The period of half a year when I mostly lost interest in programming.
Then again, I haven't even done my GCSEs (or equivalent) :) -
Who the fuck even thought writing HALF of the project in coffescript (given, it was 5 years ago) thought it would be a good idea?5
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Are these people fucking insane? This is supposed to be a devops position and half of the requirements are related to system administrator position or am i insane??21
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Not sure if it is a fav, but counting the number of times each day my other half mentally strangles me. I think it is going up more rapidly than the number of coronavirus cases.
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I was working on a C# project and then Unity3D came in, it was the end of the month, got paid, new sexy half naked models came in... Hall of fame, here I come!
#forever_alone1 -
Scrum masters are a joke. I think we should take half of their salary and tack it on to the tech lead and let him run the show.6
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Spent half an hour auditing my code coz there were Out of Memory errors
Decide to profile it, the top 3 highest heap hoggers were from StartApp :v -
just completed my first side project today after one and a half months of hard work.
Check it out:-
https://git-lan-api.herokuapp.com
Please provide any suggestions and improvements.4 -
Anyone in crypto mining?
Have a small question: why the fuck I am payed half of what I was expecting?!
I know the estimation is not accurate, but half of that or less?!?
(Estimation from the H/s)2 -
Waiting for the other half to finish work so I'm stuck sitting around drinking... Without my laptop to keep writing or programming, this is truly the saddest day of my life...1
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Programmers logic:
Wife says to her husband to grab a loaf of bread, if they have eggs then grab half a dozen.
Husband goes out and comes back with half a dozen loaves of bread. The wife is fuming and asked why he'd bought so many. His reply "they had eggs?"1 -
In the only halfway accessible room in a half-timbered medieval house which was under construction between mountains of wood pieces and tools.
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hey frontend devs,
i got a qweshtiun:
how come half of yous communicate in wordsalad?
also: ur methods are functions and ur objects are structures. wth is it all about?13 -
Getting the word out about your new shiny app:
Posting in relevant communities > Throwing money at Google Ads
Google Ads isn't even using up half of my daily budget lmao1 -
What is the point of https://pusher.com/sessions ? It's just like youTube, but with no ability to comment. I think the conversation in the comments is half of the content for developer talks. :/
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During snowstorm yesterday in New York City, not even half of the developers showed up.
I wasn't able to get much work done.
Curse you mother nature!3 -
You count distance in songs rather with km/cm?
That's cute, you know for how long have been working at my place? - Half of Frank Zappa's discography -
Just had full day of meetings as the only person who knows how this large application works is leaving tomorrow, the client has just given us a list of all they stuff they want done by Tuesday including releasing the person who is leavings half finished database changes involving renaming half the tables...
This is going to go badly2 -
I'm pretty sure whoever devised the syntax for Kamailio config files was drunk around half the time they were working on it, because only half of it makes sense.
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What would you choose between 'clean code but just completed half of the tasks' or 'messy code but completed all of the tasks' ?5
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Not sure if reading tech blogs in bed while falling half asleep is a sign of brilliance or insanity.2
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TFW you have to ask if Google is ACTUALLY down, or if you messed up your local network settings and cut yourself off from half of the Internet again.1
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Urghh
I swear web push notifications are the betaest most betty beta thing
Half of the time they don't work and misbehave without trail -
My old school made a youtube channel called:
*SCHOOL NAME* Tech Tips.
With half of the teachers talking about computers. The Teachers are 60/70.3 -
Unit tests are like the second half of a watermelon. It exists, yet no one needs it.
You only need it if you're a misanthrope who wasn't invited when everyone else ate the first half.5 -
About how long before the messed up crap disappears and life is beautiful again like half of the new version of 2018 on Chicago
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Ran a windows registry error fixer 5 times, each time it says there are only 512 errors. I don't know if it is failing to delete them, or hitting some type of self imposed RAM limit...
Also half of the comments on Cnet say they think it's pretty good, and half say it's spam ware, but I haven't seen any ads. (average 4.5/5)
Anyone know if "Windows Registry Repair" actually works?2 -
Fml trying to keep up with kibana's changes. That shit changes its half of its http calls to use different module in minor version upgrade. Not all but half! So suddenly some of your interceptors will be like huh I don't see this call anywhere.
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Was trying to solve an error for half an hour and it ended up me being stupid because I typed userame instead of username
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Don't you just love it when you waste half of your day chasing a bug and a turns out to be a typo... gotta love the typos!
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Spent half of the day redesigning proposed feature design. Somehow my Note skills are better than PowerPoint skills of someone with PHD in medicine.
Monday 🥂 -
Of course Yahoo have the worst documented API. Half of the responses either don't exist or are wrong.
I'm so done! -
(Me after battling with a lagging computer for half an hour)
Im just gonna shut u down.. I dont love u anymore U piece of shit!
~Restarts~ -
Anyone else feel like they spend half of their day helping their boss to debug and code? I mean he only has about 20 years of experience over me.
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After 1 and half years of irritation with Cinnamon, finally got Unity working..😁😁. You realise the importance of something only when you are without them..
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When you go after a 2 day leave and take an update and spend half of your day merging YOUR module properly. I wonder why its MY module anymore. :-/
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"combination of upper and lower case letters, numbers and symbols"
Someone please change the devrant terms to encourage more secure passwords...
(Yes, I actually read* the terms and conditions)
* half of7 -
Windows 10 forced update resetted all of my IIS settings at work. Took me half a day to set everything right again..1
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Ok the sprint review is tomorrow, there are lots of work to do and qe are half slept, this gonna end well :)
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Twitter developers will authenticate half of their endpoints with some authentication method and the other half with a totally different one (which doesn't work) and their sales team will have the guts to contact you to check if you're still interested to access their API.
My only interest is feeding your corpse to the ravens.2 -
I remember that wet-carpeted half-abandoned office floor. Future was sitting there on top of a pile of SSDs, trashing local government.
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About a month in and I've found that Github copilot code suggestions are like magic half the time. The other half is useless garbage.
However, writing comments has been a dream. 99% of the time it gives the correct description. If anything its worth using for just that.1 -
What's the point of giving a training session and asking if anyone has questions? Ten minutes later you will get an email with half your company cc'd on it.
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So half of the Internet is down again.
Jfc Cloudflare, you just gonna let Russia, China, and Skynet fuck with you like that?
Bitch ass. -
Fucking encoding types everywhere, spending nearly half of the day with guessing which encoding type is correct for some freaking files 😑
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That time when the head of the developer team had the fuking idea of having the meeting of a meeting (he didn't understood the point of the previous one...) Half day lost in that shit. At least he is gone now
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when you want to study recommenders Systems and half of the lecture you spend to understand the accent of the professor.