Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
My colleagues treat me like a god.
.
.
.
Nobody plays any attention to my existence until they want something 😏6 -
Boss walked towards his office asking a coworker to do something.
Coworker replied that he'd like to but only the boss has the login codes or something like that.
Boss: ah right *walks to coworkers table* let me enter that stuff *starts typing*
Coworker: Maybe I'm running a keylogger 😏
Me: *exchanging funny eye contact with coworker* yeah maybe he is.... 😏
Boss: *looking back and forth at both our faces suspiciously*
Coworker: 😏😏😏
Me: 😏😏😏
Coworker: 😏😉
Me: 😏😆
Boss: 😐
*three of us laughing*
😆10 -
Yesterday my friend was telling me that he was hacking some federal server in my country, and his girlfriend interrupted him and he couldn't complete the hacking
Such a lier 😏
We don't have girlfriends5 -
CLASSIC: when there is a big emergency at the office everyone is going crazy and looking for you even under the rocks and you show up at the office 😎😏
3 -
A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*17 -
Since one of my colleagues had a difficult time saying/spelling the word SpamAssassin, it's now officially (in our office):
Spam Ass Ass In
😏3 -
Collegue: hrrrrrrrrrrrrr *mumbles something*
Me: Rawrrrrrrrrr (the sexual'ish kind)
Collegue: Hmmm what?
Me: Miaaaaaaauwwwww 😏😉
Collegue: Duuuus.... (English something like "sooo...."
Me: x x x x ("kisses") 😏 *😘*
(I know I can do this with him for the record)20 -
The collegue who I hang out with has resigned.. we together were known as the only Innovators of the project... Now suddenly My manager's behaviour towards has changed... He has started to treat me with real care as if Inam his son... 😂😂😂 The bastard is thinking I might resign as well 😏😏😏😏8
-
When I was in high school, the IT had the bright idea to use the same username/password for each machine in our site, and there was this jerk who knowing this, would occasionally SSH into the computers of the other classmates and wget porn mp4s to their home directory to embarrass them, as some sort of weird-ass prank.
So, in order to give him a lesson, I one day had logged in and set a rule on the class' router to forward all port 22 traffic back to his own IP address, and had SSHed into his machine, aliasing wget with a full-screen kiosk mode chrome, followed by a force disable of the USB HID devices.
It might have been less awkward and he might have seen less scared, if it wasn't for the fact that I had also remotely set his machine to maximum volume, and the teacher wasn't in the middle of a lecture. 😏
To this date, his expression is the most precious reaction I have ever seen.9 -
Story time!
My exboyfriend used to code in php 5. It’s his favourite programming language, and I hardly teached him how to code in Python.
One day, I said to him: Hey schatz, let’s go to the sex shop ...
He: Oh yeah 😏
Me: ... and buy an elephant thong 😁
He: What?!
Me: Yes, a blue elephant thong for Php
Me laughed
Me: So?
He: No way!
Me: Please!!!!!
He: Ok. I’m working at a cultural events web page. When I got my first client, we’ll go to the sex shop and buy the “php thong”.
Well... I broke up with him before we could go to the sex shop 💔😂😭( for another reasons, not for the php thong, obviously)
Do you have any funny story like this?
28 -
I found a duck today and just had to put a little cape on it 😂
I guess you could say..I really want the d 😏
Sadly I could not convince it to become my companion 😭
8 -
Ooo, nice number 😁
Come to think of it, how many people do you think have it as their password? 😏
19 -
We got married and started our relationship at 1.0. After our first argument, we managed to patch things up, so it wouldn't all break down: 1.0.1
Same night, I suggested a sexy new feature, and we worked up a good sweat implementing it together.
I got too excited and released prematurely: 1.1.0
After that, she was a bit cross, but then I suggested a hotfix. She agreed and got right on top of it. After a few minutes she finished and managed a release as well: 1.1.1 😏4 -
She: I have a problem with my android phone, I can't take screenshots since yesterday.
Me: Ehm... did you try to turn it off and on again?
She: no.. let me try.
...5 minutes later...
She: You're a genius!!!
Me: I know. 😏😎2 -
Me in the digital circuits class: "Bro I just got a pick up line in mind!"
Friend: "Go on.."
Me: "Girl, are you a boolean signal 1? 'Cause you turn me on 😏"
Friend: "I can't believe I'm your friend."6 -
We all once printed "Hello World" & were acting like a pro 😏
Cheers, we all made it till here, more than "Hello World! 🍺8 -
PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏
2 -
My girlfriend asked me to take her to somewhere she hasn't been when I asked, 'where do you wanna go for anniversary?'
So I took her to Github.com 🤣
Trust me, I had to pay a big price for that joke! 😏4 -
After the face reveal and the hand reveal... Let's do something spicier! 😉
Guys, post a pic of your "private member"...
Gals, post a pic of your "closure"... If you know what I mean 😏
Mine's in the comments13 -
Drunk Dev 1: These wifi signals are really take toll of brain tissues and may probably cause brain cancer. 🙁
Drunk Dev 2: Let’s power off our wifi router. We don’t need wifi while drinking. 😏
Drunk Dev 1: Good, but what about other wifi signals in proximity. Your neighbours ?? 🤨
Drunk Dev 2: Oh poor, they wont get into our brains as our brains don’t have password for their wifi thus, we can’t connect to their access point 😎
Drunk Dev 1: 😳6 -
Today 🙄
This dev goes "I connect using plain FTP over a VPN to update why can't you!?"
Because it's unsecure you fucking idiot.
His FTP server can't even do secure connections. Some how.
Guess I have a new site to take over 😏5 -
I want to print this pic out in enormous size and qty, hang them in many classrooms to show my female friends that it's normal to wear cute skirt and cute shoes while wringing cables on your shoulders.
😏
12 -
The last 5 months have been tough.... My boss ( who was a close friend) quit and I become interim department head... Trying to run a team who didn't seem happy I'd taken the reigns.
At the same time my wife's ongoing battle with her anxiety had gotten worse and she really needed my help with everything possible at home..
In March I was confirmed as the HoD but I was still doing 3 to 4 days a week on client delivery, trying to support all presales activities, manage a team of 10 people, travel for work and support my family....😩
It really got to me and I was close to breaking... The worry of not replying to an email ASAP no matter what time of day would eat me up, working late every night... It got too much and I was running on fumes with my weekends just me completely wiped out and useless to the family. 😓
.....But.....
I had a escape last weekend to a 🍻 beer 🍻 festival with friends that I was considering not going too and just losing the money but the wife made me go...
And it broke me even more... So much that its somehow put the pieces back in the right order in my brain and snapped me out of my major rut!
Somehow, sitting with friends, making stupid jokes, drinking way too much and blocking out all the work crap gave my brain the hard reset it needed. 🤟
This week I've come back a different person ( wife's words) work is a breeze, exciting and encouraging.... 👊
I can't get enough of playing silly games with my kids all night
And couldn't feel any more positive about things if I tried.... Set that spark back for my wife too! 😏💏
So.... After that long rant 👀
Tl;Dr - work and life got too much... Close to giving up... Too much beer with good company gave me a hard reset and I feel like a new person.... 👍
Plus the team is now loving the new direction and strategy too 👔
Who says drinking is bad for you? 😂🍻11 -
Going to system engineer interview expecting technical questions. Very nervous.
First 'technical' question "what does DDoS stand for?"
Second "what does LTE mean?"
😐😐😐🙄🙄😏🤣😄😅😃 Gonna nail this interview.2 -
Earlier I signed up on this forum called NulledBB. Basically some hacker skiddie forum that had a dump of an archive I wanted, unfortunately behind a paywall which I didn't want to bother with.
On signup I noticed that I couldn't use my domain as an email address, as I usually do (the domain is a catch-all which means that mail addresses can be made up for each service I sign up to on the fly, super useful). They did expose the regex that they accepted email as however, which included something along the lines of "@live.*".
So I figured, why not register a subdomain live.nixmagic.com real quick and put that into the mail servers? Didn't take too long and that's what I eventually went with, and registered as somepissedoffsysop@live.nixmagic.com (which I have no trouble putting on a public forum as you'll see in a minute).
Still didn't manage to get that archive I wanted but I figured, fuck it. It's a throwaway account anyway. But eventually that email address started to receive spam. Stupid motherfucker of a forum operator with his Kali skidmachine probably leaked it.
Usually I just blacklist the email address in SpamAssassin by adding an additional spam score of 100 to email sent to such addresses. But in that case it didn't even sit on the main domain, thanks to that stupid regex block from earlier... 😏
*Logs into my domain admin panel*
*Le rm on the live.nixmagic.com record*
Null routed entirely.. nulled, if you will! 🙃3 -
Seriously why hasn't anyone made a coffee brand just for devs called "java" .. So we can show some superiority over the simple folk drinking coffee..
😏☕🍪11 -
Everytime 🙄
Client: it's not working.
Me: what isn't
Client: the app video and link thing locator
Me: device and spec ? Like I always need
Client:iPhone
Me: yes. What one and what version of iOS
Client: urm 6s iOS 10 something
Me: great 😏 not broken for me
Client: well everyone is complaining so we need it fixed.
What can i even do now 😐7 -
Rant! ✋😜👍
When a rookie is trying so hard to behave like she is a god damn expert in programmng! 😏🙊🙈
2 -
Mate - whatcha doing ...
Me - oh just hacking nasa
Mate - seriously!? 😯😨
Me - OOOOh yeah I do it all the time see (shows similar photo)
Mate - don't hack me 😭
Me (in head) - you poor dumb fuck...
Me irl - I won't if you don't piss me off 😏
9 -
Someone tried to push a patch in prod while demo was going on in front of CEO.
Good thing they locked the repo before the demo. 😏3 -
My Razer laptop died due to a hard drive failure so i filed an RMA. They didn't have the replacement part in stock, so they're replacing the laptop all together. Mine is a 2019 model with a 2060, but the current equivalent model has a RTX 3070, so I'll get that instead. I'm not complaining 😏9
-
Oh mum...
My mum comes to me asking "What's happening on my phone? What's this little thingy?" (typical question)
*looks at (android) phone*
*sees downloading icon*
Me: "It's downloading something..."
*pulls down notification bar*
*I see Facebook app updating*
Mum: "What is it?"
*3 seconds later*
"Oh it's the Facebook"
Took her literally 3 seconds to recognize😅
Love my mum though😊😏3 -
Rant for Indians
Who the hell gives you joining in the Diwali week. Half of the office has taken holiday so that they can go home. My orientation/induction might also get cancelled because of lack of personnel. And her i am stuck in a new city away from home for one of the major festival in India.14 -
CODING CODING CODING HAHAHA I LOVE PROGRAMMING BEING A LITTLE CODE SLUT. I LOVE SILICON VALLEY IM SUCH A QUIRKED UP LITTLE CODE SHAWTY LOOKING FOR SOME ALGOASS 🍆💦😩.
“Slams fists on keyboard”
I LOVE BEING A CUTE SCREEN TWINK, IMPRESSING PAPI CEO WITH MY FINGER COMBINATIONS. I LOVE PLEASING EXECUDADDY. 🍑😏🫦
“Takes keyboard in hand and slams it against desk until keyboard keys explode everywhere”
I LOVE WATCHING THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AND CORPORATE AMERICA FUCK MY ASS IN RETURN FOR PERSONAL PROFITS. 🤑☔️
*digs fingernails into the wall and claws off paint and then snorts it”
*pees and shits pants*
*cries in corner with extra agony*21 -
Wanting to push the code to remote at 3am and just hit the bed.. Appereantly bitbucket has other plans for me 🤷♂️
Also chuckles to them for still running python 2.7 on their systems 😏
4 -
I was reading devrant.
Obviously I was laughing while reading different rant's.
My curious friend
F: what are you reading? Look's something funny.
M: devrant
F: what?
M: it is developer's community.
F: show
*After reading few rant's*
F: 😪
Nothing interesting
M: don't ask me again about your pc , mobile, software issues
😏3 -
I'm a newbie in programming, just past the very basics and all. Which is why I am a bit frustrated when i see programmers use stack overflow. I barely even understand it.😏9
-
I saw an article saying, What Programming Language Should I Learn First? 2017
It suggested, JavaScript!
😏 hmmm....
What do you think, yes or no?
(And no this is not personal question, just an article I was reading 😃)22 -
I booked one domain for my client.
Which is mi*****.***
Now he want new domain with following change
Mi*****.***
😑🙄😏😥2 -
Since I just bought a mystery bundle of steam games and received codes for games I already own.... and I'm in a good mood ☺️
I will drop the keys into the comments section for anyone who wants to take them.
Games:
- Star Wars - Knights of the old republic 2
- SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
Leave a comment once you use the code 😏 don't be a dick!18 -
Decided to delete devRant and reddit for a few months. Now I'm back, and the first thing that greets me on both is Light Mode 🤢
Thank God that I haven't cancelled my devRant subscription. Once you go black you never go back! 😏3 -
So I’m thinking this is one of those apps I wouldn’t mind having Touch ID on or some form of 2FA 😏
What do you say guys?
@dfox, @trogus4 -
Needed to convert a collection of .avi videos to .mp4. Online converters only allow 1-2 videos at a time, with slow uploads, so no option.
Can't find a program that quickly fulfills my needs. Interesting ... 🤔
Look for python and a quick and dirty solution, ffmpeg and subprocess it shall be then.
Install ffmpeg, run subprocess with ffmpeg, put it inside a for loop, iterate over all videos with their respective number. Done.
3 lines of code, saved some time.
It's great to be a developer (sometimes).😏16 -
TL;DR I want to watch videos faster.
Siraj Raval, a YouTuber who produces videos about artificial intelligence and the concepts behind it (not the buzz-shit-type 😜), once said in one of his videos that he learned to watch videos three times faster.
This man has truly changed my life in many ways.😯
I've started with watching videos with slight multipliers. Around half a year later I learned to watch videos with a multiplier between 1.75 and 2.5.
It's really incredible how much time one can save like this.
25min of free time? Let me just watch that 40min talk about event-driven programming real quick!
Don't do that with gameplays, series, anime and other types of videos 😏 you watch for entertainment because it kinda defies the concept of entertainment.
Link to the video: https://youtu.be/nxWfZP6eslM
Papa tutu tutu tu Wawa:
https://youtu.be/6PJIF_KNvqQ14 -
So I am going to talk about interviews from a different perspective, the being on the question side of the technical interview.
We have had four interviews for a single Senior Dev position. I threw some very hard questions at the people and some very easy ones. The thing that amazed me was that people actually went for an interview when they where woefully under qualified.
The latest in this list was someone who didn't understand how inheritance works for object orientated programming, and when I asked him something very specific he needed to look at his notes...
The person that I felt did the best on the interview was the person that didn't have every answer but said clearly that he didn't know and talked about his ability and desire to learn. The people that failed the worst were the ones that were certain, arrogant, and wrong.
Technical interviews are fun 😏4 -
A girl takes less time in getting ready as compared to windows 10😂😂😂
#WeekendHumour
#myOriginaldontCopy😏
11 -
had wished for a raspberry pi as christmas present, ideally with a pi cam on top.
now i've got a pi cam😏 ... and no raspberry pi😐🤨😅
that was unexpected3 -
When you spend your day building a dark theme on stylish instead of doing your day job 😏
Ah the life of an easy day.
I shall sip on my pina Calada before the shit hits the fan tomorrow... oh wait, that's a public holiday🍹🧘♂️🏖13 -
Ask a developer to code entire night
Developer:
😏🤓No Problem. I was born to play with fire 😤😎
Ask a developer to complete the associated documentation in next couple of hours
Developer:
😳🤬🤯 Better call the devil to take me to hell 😱🤒🥵6 -
Soooo it's Monday........ 🤯
@C0D4 started the day fixing current projects defects (4 tickets smashed before coffee 💪)
Then after coffee, run a test coverage report and see a significant decline over the past few months, so spends a couple hours adding more tests to get some areas filled in - meh, nothing like 50+ lines per test... to test a if() statement but whatever - complex scenarios will be complex to get too, but no my tests break and I'm missing data I didn't know about🤦♂️
So let's comment all that out, and go to lunch ... mmmm lunch.
Get back, start working on those again, and then get handed a new issue, so comment that all back out again, ( ok I know what you're thinking, but I'm working in an environment that does not use git for deployments - don't ask, real pain in the ass I haven't had time to invest into yet - but as code versioning only) anywho, starts to workout this new issue but don't figure it out, enter a 30 minute meeting.................. yea that was 2 hours later but was a very practical whiteboard session only to work out I have something like 16-20 weeks of work over 4-5 projects to get out in like 6 weeks... hahahahahahaha fml..... oh and that's excluding another project which had a 6 weeks of work in the pipeline to get to somehow.... I'm not seeing this one happening, and probably conflicting projects needed on top of that down the track... but we'll leave those out for now!
Whoot is fucking home time!!!
🤷♂️I'm starting to think I'm like a team of 5-10 devs right now, maybe I should start asking for 5-10x more 😏
#letsBringOnTuesday!!!!4 -
Hi! 😀 Great to meet you!!! I hope you are having a fabulous day 🐝. My name is John Doe 👔 at the TechyHelp 🤲 company. I know I might not look like much 🤪, but I will do my very best to make sure 🫵 YOU get my best service 👨🔧 to your hearts content 😌. I am sorry that this problem has been causing you pain 😥 it must be so awful dealing with this 😖 I can’t even imagine 🫣. I feel for you deeply 😮💨. It is my duty 🫡 and I will make sure to give you exactly what you are asking for and more. I am aching 😩 to satisfy you so you don’t feel anymore pain. I want to give you 🫴 so much pleasure today 🤤 to make sure you never have to think 🤔 about this problem ever again 🥰.
Upon applying some of my sleuthing 🕵️♂️ skills to use, I found that to restart your computer, press and hold Alt + F4
Let me know if this solves your problem!
I really hope I entertained you today 🥺. It is my pleasure ✨ to give you the most satisfaction possible, and I love that u came to me first 🤓. I know sometimes these problems can get built up 🥴 and really explode 🎊 💦 when you least expect it. So I hope I relieved some of that pressure today ☺️.
If you enjoyed my performance today, we would love to hear your feedback! 📝 Please sign up at the form below so that we can call you 📱 and hear about your experience 🌝. You can also take the 69 question survey on how well I serviced you today 😏.
Have a blessed day!
Stay safe!
Hope your life is amazing!
Happy pride month!
Peace, love, unity, respect!
Hugs and kisses!
Thanks a million!
- John27 -
It seems like the project I'm tasked to tweak last edited when I was 4 years old... 😏 I doubt is there any dinasour alive who used that generation's technology. :P
4 -
My Friends: Celebrating XMas together
My Family: Celebrating XMas together
Me: Celebrating XMas by reading MongoDB docs 😏😏
There is no better way to celebrate xmas3 -
I switched to vim as a main IDE (yes IDE) just so that common people can think I'm a fcking wizard seeing my dusty trackpad... And also to see their face when they try to show me their programming talents on my laptop 😏25
-
In my wallowing experience as a freelancer I've noticed that almost all C/C++ clients are perfectionist. You just can't please them by getting the job done quickly.
I got a libcurl job from one the other day to scrape data from a target website and within an hour it was ready. I notified the client and he was both amazed and confused assuming it would take the whole week.
C++Client: The code works but you need to take your time.
Me: Sorry?
C++Client: Yes, it works but you used "string" instead of "wstring"
Me: 😊 Oh okay... *converts strings to wstring*
C++Client: And also variable names should be more descriptive.
Me: 😏 *int foobar => int very_long_descriptive_foobar_01*
C++Client: And also use "shorts" for page nums it'll save some bytes
Me: 😕 *int => short...*
C++Client: And also use forloops instead of whileloops
Me: ☹️ *whileloops => forloops*
C++Client: And also use -- instead of ++ in loops
Me: 😤 *for(... i++) => for(... i--)*
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
===> Seven "and also" days later <===
Me: *completed 10 Java projects behind the scene*
C++Client: And also use pthread instead of thread
Me: 😧 It's day 7 already!
C++Client: Oh I see, great job. You can compile and send me the archived source.
Me: 🤩
C++Client: And also...
Me: 🏃💨11 -
Driving to a family friend after work to check his wifi connection issues.
Turns out that she didn't knew about the hardware switch to turn it on and off again... 😏2 -
I just installed nginx on a new server, just to find out we have visitors waiting patiently at the door. I guess they must have tried all possible route to get inside an empty room. 😏
See logs hits on 404 files...
-
Imagine going on a rope course with zip lines, then to a vineyard and winery for a wine tasting, to finally arrive at the hotel where there is an open free bar and dinner served. That's what I call a company trip 😏
7 -
Startup companies be like "we are hiring full stack developer"
Full Stack Developer = the entire IT department 😏3 -
I just managed to configure a second keyboard to map its keys to separate keycodes. Basically, I should be able to use it as a complete macro deck 😏 Thank god for Linux6
-
Person:"you're a dev, you must reeeaaaly get frustrated with semi colons 😏"
Me: "at times but it's not such a big problem with the compilers being better now.😊"
Person: "so innovative!😁"
Me: "nothing is innovative!! All new idea app ideas suck and there are not too many clicks!!! The icons are perfect!! Purple and orange buttons are not a good idea!!! What do you mean you want 3 buttons on the one screen that do the same damn thing!! Do you even think!! Oh of course the users are stupid, takes one to know one!!! Doesn't look like much?!!! Sure the backend is a mother fucking kraken the size of Michigan that runs smoother than a babies bottom but hey, let's bitch cause it's too plain on the eye!!! EVERYTHING IS A LIE LIKE THE EXISTANCE OF YOUR BRAAAAIIIN!! - pants neoriticly-😳
Person: "new client? Or friend with an idea? 😒"6 -
Honestly, mentoring is in my opinion the best part of the job. My firts mentee was a student in my last job, smart af but lazy and unable to trust in herself. I wasn't really too sure in myself at the time either but since I had to teach hery craft there was no place for me to doubt myself.
So I taught her everything I knew and in turn I learned to trust myself and once I had mastered the art of self confidence I could make her believe in herself. Since then I trained five more test automation engineers, some of them might be close to surpassing their 'master' (though won't make it easy for them 😏) and with every Single one I've developed a deeper understanding of my craft by explaining. I needed to research stuff I never questioned to answer their questions and therefor became better at what I do.
Three weeks ago I got an email from the girl I first mentored, she's in another company now and she thanked me for what I taught her. In my opinion I did a rwally Bad job at it (it was my first time teaching) but reading someone actually believing that one made an impact in their life is something special.
I always loved talking about my craft and I love sharing the knowledge I aquired. Test automation is not a thankfull craft but I'm always happy whenever I can interest someone in it and I fully enjoy seeing them grow and improve into fully fledged TAEs. -
Already 3/4 with PRs for Hacktoberfest 😏
This stuff brings me back to the days when software used to be fun and not driven by absolutely clueless clowns in big-wig management clowntown. 🥲2 -
I broke the system!
This rant has the same tag twice, because I manually added the one that would be added by the category I chose 😏.
CC: @dfox7 -
What's the funniest combination of commands/keywords/variables you've seen?
I'm a big fan of "man touch" 😂
Also, a colleague named an instance of System.Threading.SemaphoreSlim to Fatboy (Fatboy Slim, get it? 😏)
Let's hear it!
edit: tounge twisters are also welcome11 -
Now that I have a ++, I changed my BG Color so that it looks nice but I think we need a full color picker now.
BTW @dfox any ++ privileges on this? Maybe you could add my Drafts feature 😉😏
7 -
So, I was able to hack into a local business (legally) in under two minutes today... great and scary right? Get this, it was from my iPhone. All switches were still the default username and password... after seeing that they didn't think anything was wrong and didn't sign the contract... imagine what I could have done with my laptop and my PWNtools...
Fuck it, more (l)user data for me to log.😏5 -
I haven't got tape to prevent my dinner from opening, but hey... trust me, I'm (almost) engineer 😏
5 -
It might seem stupid but lets do a thread with our watched. I wans never interested about those little accesories until i got mine a few months ago and now i wear it everywhere 😃
True gamechanger when talking about exams and dead battery situations as it has some machanism of charging itself without using batteries and it gloes in the dark 😏
15 -
This moment when you help your friend with data conversion code 😀.
By converting "super" mathlab script into real C# application so you don,t need to read the whole freking 1GB file into RAM and writing it into another 1GB matrix in order do save the result because mathlab is crap 😤.
Then that feeling when you want to create better mathlab from scrach in C# and you are actualy succeding 🤔.
Did i mention about grafical blocks for interface like in lego NXT2.0 😏
Is mathlab that crap or is programming that easy?14 -
I DID IT! I got my first co-op job!! I’ll be starting in the fall and I’m super excited 🤩
Finally I’ll get to do real work and I’ll get to see just how far schooling has gotten me.
Gotta admit I’m a tilt bit worried I over sold myself in the interview but we will cross that bridge when we get to it 😅
I’ll also finally have some real rants soon enough 😏😅1 -
Penetration test 😏. Is there any other kinky term you know in computer sciences? Spill the beans.14
-
Which one's your favourite IDE 😋?
Intellj vs Eclipse vs Netbeans vs Xcode vs other?😏
Mine is Intellij.25 -
New office saga continues... SE1E05
I transitioned from a B2B to B2C role. Now the company and the product is entirely consumer facing.
Many or rather all are actively engineering the product to be more and more dystopian in nature.
Using concepts like FoMo, social validations, and other techniques to get users to spend more into consumerism in the name of building better experience.
It's the darkest shit I have seen so far. And this company is ethically a great one. I can only imagine how pathetic Meta and others would be.
I hate ny role. I hate how I have to do this for a living. Knowingly or unknowingly, I got myself here and absolutely hate where we are headed as a human race.
I don't like it anymore and I am only doing it as a job. No longer proud or excited of my job profile.
Fuck the impact, technology will be a catalyst for human extinction.
And with that, I found a good solution to my Mac 😏
Do check: https://reddit.com/r/Unexpected/...7 -
Currently got a designer blatantly trying to discredit me 😬
Always trying to prove I don’t understand what I’m on about luckily 😏 I do
How do you handle someone like this?
She’s always bitchy on the phone11 -
Well I feel like an idiot thanks to my IT teacher. This guy, this fucking guy thinks that we’re seeing computer for the first time. He’s literally saying “You see this black bar on the bottom? That’s taskbar.”. It’s like he’s teaching 7 years old childs 😤
But the worst part is my class mated don’t know such basics! They don’t know how binary code works, what is motherboard, how to login to school domain on Windows.
But on the flip side, they look at me like at the God 😏7 -
programmers after Rust:
- cat ears: on
- pink thigh-highs: on
- butt plug: in
“I… I use Wust 😏🤤 bwazing fast UwU”
programmers before Rust:
9 -
Weirdest thing I should be the most stressed I've ever been 🤔, my work load is insane right now
I am getting paid well for it 😏
But honestly I'm more at peace then I ever have been 😉
I love my job - remember these times2 -
@localhost, my desk. Also where I eat dinner, sometimes with my wife too. As you can see, my old Pro is displaying a perfect visual representation of what is happening to my soul. 😏
5 -
Here at the client site everyone uses Windows 7, since this is not an IT firm. They make jewellery. So I don't blame them.
The problem is their in house dev team are also forced to use Windows.
Today someone from their dev team was with me for a new project. Their senior guy sent us a mail mentioning that the project code is on AWS EC2 instance and we will have to SSH to see it.
I checked the code on my MacBook with SSH and copied it to local using SCP. The dev guy was seeing it in amazement. I asked, what's it?
He just asked, "You don't have to use PUTTY" 😮
I smirked 😏3 -
!rant
Learning many new things and churning out good code is so fucking satisfying!
And the best part is: it actually works! 😏🚀1 -
After my winter examination session I am going to start the biggest Android project in my life. If I promote it properly, you will hear about me in the future 😏2
-
I can't decide on a linux distro because all I've tried are great. Seriously.
I'd call myself a novice-to-intermediate linux user (heavy on the novice part) and since I work as a web developer it's been a great learning experience to use the same OS on my workstation as the webservers my projects run on. (Ie I started out with Ubuntu and a LAMP setup).
The thing is I distrohop ad infinitum... Feels like I've tried out every desktop environment known to mankind (I just can't stop myself when I see a new one or a new take on an old one) and I've dipped my toes in Arch territory to. Loved Antergos when that still was a thing. Found EndeavourOS this weekend, kernel panic ensued. I'm a noob with sudo and that's never a good thing. 😆 (Try out in a virtual machine first you say? Bah. Where's the fun in that?!)
So now I'm on Linux Mint w Cinnamon because why not. (Because it's sluggish and boring, that's why...) I had to just get something up and running quickly so I could get back to work. 😬
But one day in and I'm realising I actually miss GNOME. And Ubuntu feels like home. I would feel much cooler using Arch but honestly I don't think I can be trusted with it. I love tinkering with settings, look and feel and whatnot but I can honestly do that just as well in an Ubuntu/GNOME environment.
Maybe Pop!_OS... could be something for me. 😏20 -
Programmer BF before we were dating: I love my job. My job is the best thing ever. I will never love anything as much as I love coding.
Me: K
*A few months later*
Me: Ugh, your alarm is going off. Wake up.
PBF: I don't wanna go to work 😭
Me: Oh really? 😏6 -
its time to back to university. these days were so relaxed. walk around on a different city,talked with my friends.and take many beautiful photos.😏a little tired , but happy.
1 -
Just implemented A* and Dijkstra to get into pathfinding with graphs. Really hyped about this! TIL that Dijkstra is perfect to find the quickest subway route in my city 😏2
-
Friend from a company I did an integration delivery with sent me this lovely slack discouse. I had no idea their HR lady let her freak flag fly at work 😏
Wonder how many years she's been casually tossing that one around.
3 -
Do you guys swear 😏, I do a lot about tech but I don't see anyone on here doing that
Nothing like shit I just shocked myself
Or mother fucking ie die in a hole
You know the usual5 -
So i informed my intent to leave the job in few months in pursuit of learning something new in tech. Boss is trying to convince me to not leave and said i should consider learning it after work hours. In fact, in his opinion, the best way to learn is just going ahead and learning it while doing it in the project ( which usually has impossible deadline and fugly code by colleagues who never thinks of good coding practices when typing their shit ).
Well guess what boss, I don't want to just live a life staring at monitor all day. I don't want to kill my eyes either.
Following his advise and not quitting would mean living a slave life.
I have other plans actually. Like being self employed and traveling the world which would be impossible if i follow the routine life.
Fun fact: he claimed he made an AI car back in 90s!
He also thinks I can't sense BS!😏2 -
I had very small experience on programming and applied for a dev Job kind of accidently.
But having good mathematical Background I convinced the Interviewer to give me the chance of learning during an internship. So I started a console Tool for special testing purpose with good success.
After the internship they asked me if I'm willing to lern Javascript and HTML. Though I had a lot of fun there, the answer was easy 😏
Now I'm a senior there having a team of 4-5 devs
And I still enjoy coding a lot 😎
So basically I learned coding during work -
Today is a national holiday because of Independence Day.
And weirdly I feel like coding today. For fucks sake, I wanna be an example you know. 😏😏😏2 -
This is some kind of brass and leather super-fancy mouse. I… I kinda want to lick the scroll wheel 🤤 😏 😛
4 -
Anyone else usually WFH on Fridays?
I noticed a lot of other people doing it so I just... quietly started doing it too. My boss is remote so I think it’s okay... at least he hasn’t said anything yet 😏3 -
I think it was trying to learn how to make a CSS-only drop-down menu -- especially multi-tiered.
Even though that's when I was first learning, I'll admit I never totally conquered that one. As much experience as I've had with CSS over the last several years, I haven't had to build one of those menus in a while, which kind of means having to do it again will be frustrating again.
Or I can cheat and use whatever CSS framework I'm using at the time. 😏2 -
1. Universal switch to IPv6 with back compatibility to IPv4.
2. A new universe of easy and convenient personal softwares that are served from your own home (aka, every client is a server).
3. More 3 wishes 😏2 -
Oh my fucking god.
So, basically, I’m at some mall with Violet Parr, but I’m not Dash. I’m someone else entirely, but still a Mr. Incredible’s child. Producers connect to my thoughts and say “Go to the bathroom”. I oblige, go in and see Mr. Incredible naked, absolutely destroying Frozone’s asshole bareback. He doesn’t see me.
Then, I go meta: “Well, producers now probably want me to find another bathroom!”
Mens' one is closed. Ladies one is open though. “Wait, if Mr. Incredible is there, and we’re in The Incredibles universe, we’re probably not in Russia, and no one will bully me, a little trans kid, if I go to the ladies' bathroom”. I go in and lock myself inside a stall.
Music plays. A hellish hybrid of Tessa Violet from “Crush” (https://youtube.com/watch/...) and Orla Gartland (https://youtube.com/watch/...) enters the bathroom. The movie suddenly becomes a musical.
As she approaches my stall, she sings:
🎵 Deep down inside, we’re still transphobic 🎵
🎵 Deep down inside, I’m still transphobic 🎵
🎵 But it’s my way to tell the world 🎵
🎵 To shut 🎵
🎵 The fuck 🎵
🎵 UUUUUp 🎵
She proceeds to demolish and twist the stalls.
Suddenly, we see her flashback (well, technically a flash-forward), and there she gives a Ted talk. But it’s a Klan rally, and it’s Ted x KKK. She says the punchline:
“Well, isn’t it _nuts_ 😏
that I twisted steel beams into a thousand _knots_ 😏👉”
The audience erupts into laughter.
We’re back. I run away from her. Cops arrive, and I’m connected directly to Barely Sociable’s video from the future (relative to my present) about Ruth Price (https://youtube.com/watch/...), the phone call segment. The original audio is replaced by Tessa/Orla’s voice. She calls cops and says “We’re placed into custody for bullying a trans faggot kid!”
The cop replies, mocking her: “That’s baaaad 🤣, that’s probably baaaaaad 🤣”
Off-screen laughter.
Roll credits.
Jack-Jack Parr is trans, confirmed.
7 -
Everyone is posting their setup 😏. I just have one laptop and I setup my workspace wherever I feel like.1
-
Working night has to be the most relaxing thing, I'm all alone at the office with some good relaxing classical music, nobody to interfere, good coffee and code and the average office ghost, looking out at the street below I can see the city slowly coming to life in the morning. Wish everyday could be like this 😏
-
!rant
Anyone here experienced with Route53?
I have a small issue I'm trying to think through on how to achieve with minimum effort and maintenance, essentially set once and walk away and never care about it again solution.
Basically what I have is:
sub.domain.com
and I need to get it to redirect over to
otherdomain.com/folderToGetTo/
Using a 301 would be ideal but how for the life of me do I go about serving a 301 redirect over a dns entry - short answer is I can't unless I'm missing something!
Both domains are owned by the same company so no issue in hijacking a subdomain... well besides internal politics but that's just another day 😏
First thoughts include setting up a S3 bucket with hosting and forcing the dns to that and then, redirect out of the bucket... seems overkill but will work.
Hoping to find a smaller solution that I don't have to justify a S3 bucket being used for a single file - audits suck alright🤷♂️
Oh and setting up a redirect at the originating domain will take longer then it's worth to setup and get approvals for so not worth the effort internally.
Yes I will accept "fuck off @C0D4" as an answer.10 -
Pluralsight said I'm in the 85th percentile of people who know JavaScript and therefore I'm an ”Expert"
So now I walk around like, "bro do you even know how to pass a callback?" 😏 -
There was an Internet hiccup at work.
The only sites I could access was Bing and Microsoft.
Not even the internal corporate network was accessible!
I think Big Brother knows me quite well!!! 😏 -
A toast to the perks of backend, to never being bothered again with every single ui change.... Just you and your code 😏😀2
-
Someone had been too lazy to read the documentation and now we have to come up with a solid and correct implementation, which should have been done months ago
RTFM, people..!!! 😏🤦🏻♂️2 -
I want to rant here but I have a lot of backlog. They’re all pretty deep for refinement. So I want to put them all in one sprint. Because I don’t want a marathon of ranting.
But I do realise in IT sprints never end, and eventually turn out to be a marathon of sprints. I came to a point to deliver over 100 story points in one sprint. Maybe I shall write a book instead of exploding this app.
I could have never imagined the dark side of this occupation.
However I love coding so much I’ll brush the backlog under the carpet😏
But you know there are always saviour heros wanted for refactoring. This honour goes to:
The arrogant guys who think they’re a genius when their code compiles.
The insecure guys who want to overpower the next available when their code doesn’t compile.
The egoists who like to underestimate and show of, where their faulty biased googles display a little girl instead of a developer.
The aggressives when they are invited to the reality and kindly offered to sit back on their place.
I hope this rant wouldn’t ouch anyone. If it does, not sorry, the message is delivered.
If there’s an offence or reaction to this refactoring job, the 4th one would be offered to clean the mess.2 -
so my mum got a new phone yesterday (huawei p smart)...
boy will that be an adventure showing her what is possible now (coming from moto g3😅)🙄
but hey i'm a patient guy when it comes to that😏 -
Today I started a new study. It's a study focussed on all kinds of technologies. AR, VR, Illustration, photo, video, motion capture & so much much more.
We immediately got an assignment to prepare a presentation about a skill we already have. They chose me to go first.
Guess what: I'm gonna learn my classmates JavaScript tomorrow 😏 -
Midnight, monster energy, heaphones, dark techno music and an approaching deadline ... gets me into my super productive zone until the sun rises 😏
-
Last week summary:
-questioning my identity (I’m cleaning and realised I forgot I used to like many activities I forgot and decided to give them more time)
-questioning how tf my unconscious seems to always plan ahead of me (ah yes I can do this cause I prep… why tf did I prepare for this?)
-questioning my skills (just a standard imposter syndrome, nothing to see here, move on)
-questioning my worth (as above)
-questioning how tf somebody connected to a secret account I have (spoiler: they don’t know and it’s a crazy coincidence… but now I know secrets about them 😏)
-randomly freezing during everyday life for all the above points
Job wise all is cool, tho 🎊2 -
I ended up removing my publications from my resume cuz I thought maybe some people are publicists. 😏5
-
Found myself a gold mine, I'm going to mine it 😏 yes it's a metaphor
I knew going into computers would pay off4 -
I discovered programming around the age of 12, when my parents bought their first computer:
A Pentium II, 233 MHz monster with Windoozle 95 and even 2 USB ports. Additionally we had an internet connection on crazy fast 56k. The machine was as slow as a snail on heroin, but I soon started to dig around in the file explorer and system control panel.
Searching the interwebs by what the obscure file endings meant, I found some mailing lists about quickbasic and one about C.
QuickBasic was pretty easy and it didnt take long to get some beep abuse script running and a basic text "game". Later on I got into HTML and PHP.
Being still somewhat of a child at that time, QuickBasic really opened my mind to imagine what else could be possible by using just a computer, your brain and lots of willpower.
It was the moment I realized, I wanted to really get into programming or electronics after school.
Hey baby, wanna go to my place and do some QuickBasic and chill? 😏💦 -
This is how it looks like when you are a programmer and you was born in Iran :)
Nobody will be your sponsor for your job applications 😏
6 -
What stack do you like? PERN stack 😏
Postgres Express React Node
I watch lots of PERN tutorials! 😉2 -
i just wanted to greet @NullNVoid a happy birthday! i know its already past your birthday there cause yknow timezone differences but hey its still ur bday here xd im still looking forward to that graduation prank youre planning 😏 surprise us all and happy hacking!4
-
Person: is it possible to learn binary?
Another person:
Yes.
Here's the dictionary: 0=0 1=1😏
Ps this is stolen from a quora quote
https://quora.com/Is-it-possible-to...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
Code Optimization 😉
Before doing: After doing the changes, it ll be much easier to maintain😇
While doing : how it was working before 🤔 why I need these lines 🙄
After doing : Never gonna optimize existing file instead will start following the standard hereafter😏
While working thereafter.. 😛 : Instead of following these standards which consumes time, I can make the logic quicker and will optimize later...
Again the cycle repeats 😂 -
devRanters!
Do any of you find that you can type the solution faster than GitHub Copilot recommends?
That's how you know you're senior 😏
Also, on a serious note, does it only support JavaScript / TypeScript? Didn't really take time to investigate.
I thought there was also a feature you could tell it what to code and it would try to write a solution. Haven't really seen how to do that yet.7 -
A few years ago and today very shameful: Griefing Minecraft servers with an own "Griefer-Class". The class was completly enclosed into a simple ArrayList ( with {{ }} ) to hide it in JD-Gui (decompiler many are using) and had a own remote client that could send own as well as server commands via kinda like a telnet connection.
That were times... 😏2 -
Unable to give detailed explanation of how my code works. Like why do I need to explain as long it works 😏4
-
🐱💻 2 TYPES OF EXPRESSION AFTER SEEING SOMEONE CODE :
1- What the fuck is that ? 😨😨😨
2- But I didn't know it ! 😏😏😏2 -
That exciting moment when remotely connected from one job's computer to second job's PC and doing third job's tasks. 😏
-
Sometimes I feel alone in getting frustrated when in a meeting someone says "we have 2 minutes left..." but really there's only 1 minute and 3 seconds left...
I'm typing this while we're now 192 seconds over too 😏
#displayseconds #secondsmatter6 -
That smug moment when you've just come back off holiday and reel off all the awesome shit you got up to during the scrum stand up meeting 😏
-
If you are still holding your developer job through the pandemic, congratulations
you are one of the best developers in the market.
😏7 -
My advice to those juniors working with their boss,
if u tried to get close to him/her for any reasons,
don't become friend with each other.
just don't ask why?😏5 -
A dev needs 2 things to produce a great product: Time and Coffee. If there's not enough time, add more coffee. If there's a lot of it then lessen the coffee. 😏
-
One of the best things about studying computer science is that nobody starts screaming at you to STOP HACKING when you have your terminal open, although you actually are 😏😁
-
So, I'm an engineer who believes that there isn't one solution that fits all (feel free to change my mind). I believe 100%, that a great engineer is someone who also encompasses the ability to make decisions appropriately on tools, paradigms, etc to solve any problem.
But, this rant is going out to the TDD fanatics.
I assume every piece or lines of code you write is/are towards solving a problem and it includes the code you write to test the "main" code you are about to write 😑
Question: Do you write a test to test the test you write to test the code you about to write? 😏
7 -
colleague's constant whispering across whole office 😏 he won't shut up no matter what you say to him...
only music to the rescue here 🤘🎧1 -
For weeks the excitement had been going about the Eclipse, I guess because they don't know what it is like... I had the luck for one project, I don't think I want to see it again... 😧🙃😏
-
Hi, guys check out this crypto converter app i created using ionic 3.
https://t.co/F9JhEEXWh9
contribute and stars 😏 -
oh dear the stocktaking i did (maybe am still doing? don't know whether it's done yet🤷) with my dad for his little shop😩
his pc/office skills had begun with microsoft excel (he taught me how to use a pc all together) ... and have stopped there. Excel for almost everything. To be fair, he uses PCs like a normal user and isn't of that metier, ok fine🤷.
but when i saw the table he uses, which he copied over the years from the previous versions (still ok), i quickly found out that his table entries were written by him FOR HIM. it was very hard for me to help him (he tells me the article he sees in his storage, i have to include, so i look it up in the table and do stuff) as he had nicknames for his articles that only he associated with😐.
next he prints out a list a company has given to him where he buys some products from, which is ordered by id number ... my dad works with the correspnding names instead so of course all product names are random😑, so every time i need a price for an article he has to scan every list item. you've guessed it, n² search😪😒.
i tell him multiple times to call the company and send him a list in alphabetical order but he refuses as "we've almost finished" ... 🙄 (i'm not allowed to ask for him, as the company will only talk with the responsible one😑)
so I'm tied to a pc, talking to my dad over phone, who has to walk around and has to help me very often to find the article he's meaning to, at the end, do a n² search to add all the prices....😩
I absolutely want to help him automate things for sanity's sake🤔😅
install databases, connect via internet, connect to companies databases for up-to-date prices etc., make some desktop/web app/i don't know for fast access and boom...
and i don't even know where to start and where to find the time for it and whether it's even all possible😅🤔😐🤷
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View