I'm lacking a rubber duck at my office. I asked for one, but the company won't buy one. Instead they offered me a 1m x 1m sheet of bubble wrap, which they replace every day. Love my new place.

I'm getting tired of these "500++ for a stressball rants".... You have my sympathies BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE, if you really want a stressball JUST BUY ONE.....

You know you're money goes to a good cause... unlike our taxes...

Here's a paradox I guess: why are you stressing over a stressball?

>>Be me
>>Looks at laptop once
>>Gets 4 emails about the same fucking one

>>Be me
>>Looks at shoes once
>>Gets 3 emails and one notification from the app about a sale on shoes

>>Be me
>>Buy a mechanical keyboard
>>Gets 4 emails and 3 notifications from the app about a sale on keyboards.

Ok Amazon calm the fuck down bud.

Year 2013

- Trying this thing called Bitcoin
- Setup wallet in spare USB drive
- Buy 0.5 BTC (couldn’t afford more)
- Forgot about it

Year 2016

- Remembered I had bought BTC
- Looking like crazy for my USB drive
- Found it!
- Insert it into PC
- only one file in it
- essay_blah_blah_<sisters name>.doc
- poof, gone for ever

I made a ridicously hilarious hack recently. My refrigerator it's broken, it has a huge leak of water, my hack was to let the water flow in a plastic box and make a circuit with two water level sensors, a relay and a PIC16F628A to activate a pump that sucks water away through a tube that I wedged intlside the gasket of the washbasin. This gave me the time to buy a newer and better one.

A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.

One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.

The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.

On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.

One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!"

Just buy more and more and more books.
And coding. No one needs books, if he don't code.

My parents have never had a router faster than 10Mb/s. When our most recent one finally bit the dust, I urged them to buy a decent one, because everyone uses the internet now. LOOK AT THE SPEED WE'VE BEEN MISSING.

Work at a pro Microsoft company.

CEO wants an app so I explain that we will need a Mac to build the apple version of the apps. Refuses to buy us a Mac. For two years this goes on. Out of nowhere a new employee asks for the same Mac and the CEO goes out and buys $2000 without even thinking. We fought to the nail for a Mac for two years so we could do our job...they get one just for being new. My entire team feels completely insulted and betrayed

So guess what my little sister got me for my birthday! She actually made an effort to make this cute gift. Maybe in the future I will buy the original one and then I'll have two :3

Want to Google io earlier this month and a senior director at Google game a presentation and used a chrome dino for a demo and after I found him on LinkedIn and asked her m where I could buy one and he asked for my address and sent me one for free. Idc what any of you say Google is really cool for doing this.

Job offer: "All employees will be provided Macbooks"

Nope! Just nope.

Let your dev chose their equipment, thank you very much.

If they want a Linux laptop, buy them one. If they want a Windows workstation, give it to them. And if and only if they want a Macbook, give them a Macbook.

I used to work in two companies having the requirement to use a Macbook for two years.

I know its pros. I know its cons. My conclusion for me: Never again!

Left one of the demo macs at Best Buy with vim running on a terminal shell. Let's see how long it takes for them to exit vim.

*While I was working from home this occurred*

New Accountant: How come Dev gets the nicest chair in the office?

IT: He brings his own chair because he doesn’t like the ones we have here.

New Accountant: How come I don’t get a nice chair?

IT: If you want a nicer chair either ask your department manager to buy one or if that doesn’t work you’re welcome to bring in your own

New Accountant: I shouldn’t have to bring in my chair from home! I want a nice chair like Dev has but I don’t want to spend the money to buy one as nice as his and my department manager said we don’t have the budget to buy one either!

IT: He buys them from a used office warehouse for pretty cheap actually, cheaper than what the company pays annually to rent these chairs from what I’ve heard. He has 3 more at home. You should ask him where he gets them from.

New Accountant: He should give me his chair! He mostly works remote anyway!

*This resulted in my being asked to come into the office to remove my chair because it was “upsetting people” in the office*

one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer

me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one

*30 mins later*

me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done

>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay

The iPhone X is in Germany so expensive that it would be cheaper to fly to the U.S. stay there for one or two days and buy it there.

Hey @dfox,

Not a designer here but how about a devRant mug in the store? I'd buy one :D

Story time!

My exboyfriend used to code in php 5. It’s his favourite programming language, and I hardly teached him how to code in Python.

One day, I said to him: Hey schatz, let’s go to the sex shop ...
He: Oh yeah 😏
Me: ... and buy an elephant thong 😁
He: What?!
Me: Yes, a blue elephant thong for Php

Me laughed

Me: So?
He: No way!
Me: Please!!!!!
He: Ok. I’m working at a cultural events web page. When I got my first client, we’ll go to the sex shop and buy the “php thong”.

Well... I broke up with him before we could go to the sex shop 💔😂😭( for another reasons, not for the php thong, obviously)

Do you have any funny story like this?

Umidigi, kindly go fuck yourself.

When --> I <-- buy a phone, I should be the fucking one who decides if I'm allowed to install a motherfucking custom launcher.

Your phone is awesome (second full day with heavy usage == 53 percent battery) but on the launcher thing, go fuck yourself. Also go to hell. No, go fuck yourself IN hell, that's even better.

You is not gonna beliebers what just happened lol

So a couple weeks ago I earned a stress ball (300+ ++'s) I sent an email about it but never got a reply, so I decided to just forget about it. But then I just ranted (lastnight) about how its so hard to get a stressball. So I basically just said "fuck it i'll buy one". Then some dude comes along and is like "omg not until he shows us the bought one" so I'm like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and buy one...

Then I get an email confirmation from devrant store confirming my order for the bought stressball. And I notive that my spam folder has unread messages in it. i look inside the spam folder and what do I see?...

I see dfox replying to my free stressball request weeks ago lol. So yay, now I gets the 3 balls (or two - depending) lol omg, so many balls.

1. Buy a connected armwrist that tells you the time, how good your sleep is, your heartbeat and stuff like that
2. Manage to loose the cable that charges the device
3. Get mad
4. Finally decide to buy a new one after digging in your 50 m^2 flat in vain
5. Your stuff is coming in 12 years, I mean days. Have a lot of advertisement of this particular cable wherever you go for the next two weeks
6. The thing finally gets delivered. Let's not be stupid like before and put it in a logical place, like permanently plugged in the usb port above my computer tower.
7. Find the supposed lost cable at said place.

My boss last week backed me up with a client. I was working in a production enviorment and the client refused to test the changes made when I told them. So we things started to go wrong and they called to my boss complaning.

He said:
Well you are right. The things are broken but he (me) stayed last night waiting for your response and you didn't gave one. So he is going to work only in the afternoon and you will have to wait.

I must buy a beer for my boss.

How I chose a new smartphone:

- specs good?
Yes: good, continue.
No: hmm i might live.

- looks good?
Yes: OOHH MUCH BEAUTY, SUCH AWESOME, LET'S GO TO THE LAST ONE!!
No: 😩. I'll live I guess, last step :/.

- can find a rooting guide on DDG within a fee minutes?
Yes: YES YES I LOVE YOU ALREADY I'LL BUY YOU ❤😍
NO: FUUUCK. Next.

I played a prank on my coworkers. Covered the bottom sensor of the mouse with part of a post-it note. I went home for the night.

The following morning My boss was the only one in at first and spent an hour unplugging and plugging it back in. He was just about to go out to buy another mouse when someone else came in, immediately looked at the bottom, chuckled to himself and took it off.

!dev

New year's resolutions:

1) Rid and keep my life free of toxic people. This includes parents.
2) Find a well-paying job that isn't also toxic.
3) Take care of myself for a change!
4) Stop putting up with things I don't have to.
5) Actually enjoy things I enjoy.
6) Finally buy a harp. I've wanted one since I was 3 ffs.
7) Finish de-googling my life.

So... Just overheard a conversation at an Apple store...

tl;dr;

The customer gets furious for not getting to buy a mac pro for the price he wants and it doesn't even include the monitor there.....

C - customer, S - Sales person.

C: Hey, I've heard that apple released new home computers. May I get one?
S: Hello, they are not out yet.
C: WHAT?! How can they not be out yet? They released it like a week ago.
S: Well, they announced it, not officially released it for sale.
C: Ah, whatever. Can I pre-order it now?
S: Sure, we'll need your details and a deposit.
C: What? A deposit for what? That $1000 machine?
S: Sir, do you know the prices?
C: Of course. They have released a new machine and it will cost like previous ones - from $1000.
S: Then you might be talking about Macbook Air...
C: *Interrupts* No, I'm talking about the desktop computer, the whole box.
S: Ok... It starts at ~$6000.
C: WHAT?! It can't be... Oh well, I'll buy it. I hope it's the fully-specked one. Oh and does it come with a monitor?
S: No sir. It's the base model and it has no monitors.
C: WHAT?! How can this be?
S: You see, these are devices created for professionals. They are not for home users since our iMac line is....
C: *Interrupts again* Are you saying I'm not a professional?
S: I'm sorry but by the questions and lack of information - it seems to be true - you are not a professional.
C: FUCK YOU, I'm going to another store and they will sell it for me for $1000. What a piece of crap is this.
*Customer leaves furiously*
S: *to another S* - What is wrong with that dude? Is he high or what?
S2: *shrugs* and tells that it's the 5th time someone came to order that pc and was scared by the price.

---

So yeah... It's fun to see how idiots think that anything apple releases is for them... Once again I was made sure that apple fans are brainless fucks that will buy anything it produces and if that is not in the right price - they'll get furious.

ps. I own apple product, mac pro 2015. Would never buy a newer one NOR an iphone. I don't think that anyone is dumb just for buying it - people buy whatever fits their needs and that's ok but... More than we would like to admit - people buy it because it's an apple product....

If a CPU were an employee...

CPU: Hey boss, I'm seeing you are giving me a lot of mathematical tasks that would really profit from splitting into parallel calculations. GPU's are great for that, we should get one.

Boss: But you can still do them, right? If you can do it, I'm pretty sure you can do it at GPU speeds. We gotta save up so I can buy another car!

----------------------

Boss: Why is this taking so long?

CPU: I'm overloaded with work, so I'm overheating. Maybe you could buy a GPU to help me out, or at least a fan...

Boss: You're overheating? Your personal problems should not affect your professional life. Learn to get your shit together or we will hire someone who will

CPU: *melts*

On my way to buy a second hand Oneplus One!

I don't think that not being able to remove Google services from my phone because this phone isn't supported by open source roms is a valid excuse anymore, especially since the new dutch surveillance law goes into plan the 1st of May.
I don't have that much money but I can afford this second hand device right now so let's do this.

Will install an open source rom without Google apps onto it!

Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.

Thanks Best Buy.

Christmas-rant:

So I'm having a nice dinner with my in-laws when one of them turns to me: "So, what I want is a website with a link on it to another website, you can do this right?". Seems overly complicated to achieve this result, I know, but she had a fair reason for it. So, I start walking her through what she would need for it. "First thing, let's buy a domain name." "I have to buy these??! I don't believe you, I know people that did not pay for this!" "Well, that's technically impossible except for certain subdomains", I respond politely. "No, I don't believe you!"

So far my happy helping christmas mood.

Merry christmas y'all!

Company: We were able to save a couple of dollars by purchasing an entire fleet of ipads instead of iphones through our supplier!

Dev: Our users walk around an industrial facility carrying things all day, how will they carry these devices now that they no longer fit in their pockets.

Company: We can get them backpacks!

Dev: …

Dev: did you at least buy protective cases for them?

Company: We have to save money! Don’t worry we told the users not to drop them. Plus none of the old iphones were ever broken so this is a non-issue.

Dev: The iPhones are in cases, they drop them quite a bit.

Company: Oh, well they shouldn’t be doing that!

** They proceeded to buy the cheapest knockoff cases I’ve ever seen. At least one ipad is smashed a week now, backpacks aren’t used because of lack on convenience. All this in the name of seeming to shave off a couple bucks for a one time purchase that didn’t even need to be made, iphones were working perfectly fine. Meanwhile there are glaring issues at the company getting ignored because they get themselves continually distracted by unhelpful pet projects that address things that are not broken and often make them worse.

Can we get an Arch ducky cape on the merch store? I know I'd buy one in an instant

FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER AND YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE.

Why can't you process my request during an EXPECTED WINDOW OF HIGH TRAFFIC?!

DO YOU EVEN LOAD BALANCE, BRO?!

I missed my chance to buy some Hans Zimmer tickets for the ONLY time I've ever seen him listed in my city. I had the tickets in my cart, but it errored out upon checking out. Then, every other attempt to search for tickets resulted in an error.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!

One day, Hans... One day I will see you. 😢

There should be a devrant Meetup one day. Basically The community just gets together, rants about stuff to each other but in person so we all meet our social interaction requirements for the year. Then we could buy swag and sit on our computers and work on our personal/group projects. It would give devs a great excuse to take a vacation once a year.

!rant
Friendly reminder, please check the fire alarms in your house.

Buy a fire extinguisher if you don't have one.

Went to buy one course on udemy. Ended up buying 5!!!

Udemy has really nice courses 😁

It's pretty good deal, if you ask me !!
Gotta buy one, so that I can be online even after I'm dead, earth gets destroyed, sun gets turned into Black hole and collision of milky way and Andromeda Galaxies.

I finished two projects. Both of them need to connect to each other. However, the tool to do that is not currently licensed to achieve my desired outcome. I email my boss to check the status of the license key I need, that they promised, and the only thing I get back is "Correct." Seriously? 😠 The person who has the company credit card and authority to buy, also the same one that gives me a deadline to turn this shit in, can't give me the time of day to respond to an email? Their response wasn't even relevant. I've been trying to move beyond this roadblock for a week now! I'm a pretty independent guy, but I'm not going to buy the license myself for a tool that I didn't even want to use. So when someone comes to my cube and I'm raging on Steam, ✋ I don't want to hear anything about company time, because mine isn't being respected either. 👊👊

You know what I envy Americans about? Your .gov domain.
It is so difficult here to detect if the website is honest or a scam because our government is too dense to put all their sites as subdomains of one trusted domain. Like dod.country.tld for the department of defense or justice.ministry.country.tld for the ministry of justice.
No, these idiots buy ministry-of-justice.tld, because no scammer ever could conceive the idea of buying ministryofjustice.tld to host a scam site.

At least publish an up2date list with domains I can trust.

Boss: Client wants those stockphotos for the frontpage.

Me: ok. Please license them and let me know. I will upload them to the page.

Boss: How does that work then?

Me: you have to buy the five credit package. Here is the link...

Boss: (no response)

...few days later...

Boss: please remember to upload those images...

Me: well ok. Did you buy them?

Boss: isn't that your thing?

Me: I don't understand. You had all the info. You new where to buy them. You knew what images to buy since the client sent the preview versions. What do you need? ...and why didn't you tell me that you were waiting for my input? I was the last one to reply to this conversation.

Boss: i don't want to buy the wrong images.

Me: just buy the ones the client chose.

Boss: I don't want to look up the email he sent them in.

Me: I don't understand. I directly replied to that mail. It is in the same conversation.

Boss: ok.

...day later...

Boss sends me mail with images attached.

Boss: are those the right images?

Me: well yes. Those are the ones the client sent. I don't have more information than you.

(Me looking at the attachments and finding them in the smallest resolution available.)

Me: why did you download the images in the smallest resolution? It does not make any difference in price.

Boss: well I thought they were not needed in a bigger size.

Me: why do you make my options intentionally smaller? I am the guy doing frontend.
..please give me the login info for the stock account so I can download the images in a better resolution.

The newest IPhone (Which specwise is good) is more expensive than the newest graphics cards that are coming out... h.o.l.y. s.h.i.t
and you know what? THE BEST MODEL IS 400 BUCKS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A FUCKING 2080TI!
And you know what?
WHATS UP WITH STORAGE!
you go from 64Gb to 256 and 512 GIGABYTES OF DATA!!
Its like, Midrange storage to a Ton of Storage to HOLY SHIT WHO NEEDS THIS MUCH?!
and you know WHY they are doing this?
Because most of the people will buy the 256 or 512 model GUARANTEED! People behave like this! you dont believe me?
What if you gave a Big Popcorn box for 15 Bucks and the smallest one for 5 bucks, which one would you buy? The smaller one. (Most of the time) and why? because you only have 2 choices! If I gave you 3 choices: 5 for small, 10 for medium and 15 for large?
You wont buy the smallest one, because it doesnt make sense! THATS WHY AND NOW FUCK OFF AND YOU TOO APPLE GO SUCK COCKS OF YOUR FUCKING FANBOYS WHICH WILL PAY MORE!

So.. i saw a post about it then rush the store to buy one

A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.

One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.

The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.

On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.

One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!"

Does anyone else hate it that ".io" is now a style of game? And not even a good one, at that

When I told one of my friends I want to buy a .io domain name, he was confused when I didn't want to make one of those games

I can't breathe good air anymore. Water is being wasted. Fossil fuels are being wasted. Unnecessarily high number of vehicles on roads and most them have fucking one person sitting in them. They take out a fucking vehicle for fucking 200m. People throw trash everywhere without any regard for cleanliness. Prices are going up. Inefficient shit pieces exist in the market and people buy that shit. The world is going to hell. I hope I die soon enough to not know that is has.

FUCK capitalist greed! I have befallen to their tricks once again. The daily dosage on my gummy vitamins was three a day but the total gummies in the container wasn't divisible by three so I had to buy three containers and eat one from each per day!

Sometimes I just go on autopilot:

every morning I buy bananas and then eat them during the day

one day I forgot to buy, but still ate bananas

Fuck yeah!!! After over a month of being stuck without a phone, the funds have finally been released to buy a new one. It'll be the OnePlus 6T. Kernel source available on launch, wicked specs that rival PC's - 8GB of LPDDR4 RAM, a quarter TB of storage... Fuck yeah!!!! Never settle indeed!!! :D

WHY DO WE HAVE TO BUY THE PROFESSOR'S BOOK JUST TO BE ABLE TO PASS THE COURSE?

It's so stupid, I'm currently attending a Operating Systems course at university and the professor NEEDS us to buy his book because all of the tasks and seminars are based on his book. It is stupid! There are thousands of books out there on Operating Systems programming! Free ones too! But instead we have to spend 800SEK (100USD) on his book.

And guess what? There is literally one task based on his book... To summarize the chapters about Fixed Priority scheduling and Dynamic Priority scheduling. Which is 15 pages out of 200+.

All the students attending the course are going to the director of studies and complaining next week. This is unacceptable. If it was a good book, sure. But the book has the same exact information as multiple free e-books we've found.

Ridiculous.

"Son ur always sitting at home at computer, ur a computer guy so how come u didnt buy one of those crypto coins and become rich with all that computer knowledge you have. I hear in news all the time how people get rich with crypto. If i had the computer knowledge like you do i would be rich a long time ago. Why dont u buy crypto and be rich from it? U study computers so it should be easy for u to do it"
- dad

my blood before: 🩸🩸🩸

my blood after: 🩸🔥🩸🌋🩸♨️🩸🔥🩸🌋🩸♨️🩸🔥🩸🔥🩸

Fuck you EU,

thanks for making every electronics project I do much more expensive in the future by taxing me for something that I can't buy anywhere inside the eu for a reasonable price. Congrats. You made it unaffordable for me to do the one thing I had fun doing. I hate you.

So am I the only one here who is still saving up to buy the latest 15 inches macbook pro despite of all those cons?

How I wish dell xps can run Mac OS X. Meh 😩

Hhmm or should I buy dell xps and just install Ubuntu?

I am being mentored all of my life.

Parents mentored me that I won’t get to that school and I should pick other one ( I got there where I wanted ).

Politicians mentor me to make me happier by taking more and more of money I earned ( I am not ).

Advertisers mentor me to buy their products cause those are best products in the world ( I buy cheaper versions produced in same factories by same people ).

My boss ( when I got one ) mentored me that everything is simple and could be done in 5 minutes. ( after reading some dummy article )

Coworkers are mentoring me everyday that it’s not their fault ( It definitely is ).

Telemarketers, emails, sms messages are mentoring me about my future, don’t miss that occasion, it’s best for your life ( No it’s not )

Celebrities are mentoring me how to live my life to become a successful person ( Yeah right, cause they known how to become one right after they were born ).

Now I see I am starting living in times where computer will start mentoring me how to live my life. ( Sometimes it already is )

What’s left is doctors start mentoring me about my illnesses and children ( if I ever have one ) mentoring me about how dumb I am.

Then I can finally peacefully die and don’t come back to this mentoring hell.

"This pub is famous for its pork dishes. And I usually buy liquor from that stop, quality approved."

- one dev friend

// said "best advice"
// not "best dev advice"

Okay, fuck it. I'm going to buy $20 worth of every penny crypto currency until one of them explodes making me a millionaire

This is big brain time

"THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION."
- local webdesigner in my neighbor city - for over a year now. They must be slower than me or plan a page that is complexer than the apple site.

Do I actually need this shit? I mean: really. Why?
If you relaunch, just leave your old one up. If you buy an domain and have nothing on it (and no google index) - who even bothers seeing this shit?

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Ouch. Friend started at a smallish company (~20 employees), and instead of a new machine he got handed the CEO's 5 year old Dell so the CEO could buy a new machine.

He sees it as no big deal, but am I the only one that sees that as (to put it mildly) a bit of a red flag? It's not the machine itself that's so much of a problem, more the attitude behind the decision that stinks.

Hobby at home... I feel I have MPD. Coding in php on Pi, C on Arduino, and C++ on Android to make my telescope an auto-focuser... Time to get usbip to work on Android

"If I were a rich man,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.…"

If I were a rich man, I wouldn't have to build it from scratch and could simply buy a $15,000 telescope which had an integrated one...

-Hi, my PlayStation’s storage is almost full? Can you change it?
Me: yes, but why not just buy an external one....
-We can’t add games on it.
Me: ... See here. Read. It’s possible. How much storage does the PS have now?
-93GB
Me: ... Total? 500 GB?
-Yes, I think.
Me: buy a 4 TB one will last long enough.
-Ok. Can you come to install it if it’s arrived?
Me: Ok...

Can’t people just read on fucking internet how to connect an external drive to a PlayStation??
I don’t understand... I’m a software guy not fucking hardware...

When people ask you to speed up their old crappy device, whether it's a phone, laptop or tablet (even though I'm a web developer), all I say is:

"Buy a new one, that isn't cheap and nasty"

1) buy devrant stickers.
2) travel.
3) put stickers on checked bags. One on every side would be preferable.
4) easily find bags when arriving to destination as devrant stickers will make them stand out.

Enjoy.

So I trolled one of my co-workers who has an iPhone saying "Buy a real phone" .. and now people are picking that around the office and throwing it at everyone who uses Apple products .. "buy a real laptop".. etc

We've had Deezer family with the fam for a few months (Yes I actually like deezer) but now they're going to cancel it because I'm the only one who uses it 😞.

Working on a script to automatically update my music library every day through YouTube now 😃.

And yes, I'll still buy my favourite music but I personally find 10 euro a little too much for a streaming service.

oh fuck there's no toilet paper i just wanna buy ONE SIX-PACK OF THEM OK

!rant

Cursee Station : The Keyboard

Prologue : I found /r/battlestations first and then the famous devdesk campaign came. I have been surviving with two potatoes laptops for years. One potato is big and one is small. Nevertheless both are 🥔. All in all, I made up my mind to own a proper dev desk. (even if not perfect)

And I'm starting with having a good Keyboard.

Requirements:
- mechanical
- minimal
- space saving
- wired
- backlit
- maintainable
- durable
- less than $90

Chosen One:
Drevo Tyrfing V2 Ten-keyless RGB Mechanical Keyboard

I have asked my gf who is temporarily at Japan to buy it from amazon.co.jp for me.

May I hear reviews and feedbacks from anyone who have used it?

Saving my devrant stickers for when I buy a new laptop. The one I'm using right now is not worthy.

Could people that want a stressbal that badly, just buy one?

Lets say the community grew with 15%. So if your rant first had to be "100 funny" to get 150++, you still need "100 funny" to get 175++.

Conclusion: you don't need to be more funny to get a stressbal. releived?

Besides that, it's free, be grateful

Thanks Firebase! I dont have to buy a 5$ server and install php mysql etc.. anymore. It is super easy create something for one-page one-day side projects! I am so happy..

Bought a series on Amazon, "Normal People". Trailer was English, my profile is set to Germany/English, but when I started the film, it was the German dubbing audio, with no option to switch to English. Could be worse, as I am a native German, but often 80% of the original atmosphere of anything gets lots by translation and German studio speakers.

Just in case staff at Amazon wonder why I rarely watch nor buy anything from them, this is one of the reasons. Of course they wouldn't, I'm just one in a million customers, but fuck them anyway.

A delicious Sprint Planning 😋

It was a hard sprint (SCRUM methodology), but finally we were on our next’s sprint planning meeting. We had a lot of tasks to define and estimate. For the first one, we all estimated the task with 5 points, and for the second one we voted for 3 points. We were coordinated XD so, our boss said “let’s do something, if all of you vote, let’s say, 5, and another votes for a different number, he or she’s gonna buy us a six pack of beer”. Challenge accepted.

Two partners and I have to buy beers for this friday after work 😂 I don’t even mad 😋🍻

No, this is not a joke/meme.

So I was searching the internet for 2-in-1 laptops -- looking around what could be my next lappy if my current xps13 died. I had a hunch the xps13 convertable is quite overpriced and was looking at lenovo offerings to compare.

This is what one of the largest LT e-shops suggested to buy along with the lappy :)

Dangerous times these are I guess.. Everyone and everything needs protection

[I assume you won't need translation ;) ]

Can anyone tell me what are those objects are called? I might buy one if they have hsl or rgba 😂

ding ding ding, my 3 years is up, buy a new one - said my phone and started lagging

Whilst on vacation in the UK, I came across a store that sold Kinects for 2.50 £ each, as no one would buy them. I couldn't resist and bought three of them, I have one more at home.

... Any idea what to do with them? 😅
My current idea is building a 3D scanner for humans 🤔

Wanted to switch mobile plans because im severely overcharged for 4g. While im at it, i thought lets buy a phone aswell, its cheaper with a new contract and this one is almost 2yro.

Then i had to realize that my carrier (telenor) has 2858 iphones, 99999 smasungs and thats basically it. Fuck me for tryna buy a normal phone i guess. I didnt even have any special requests, like an lg q6 or g5 would have been perfect but noooooo. Fuck you.

Where can I buy this awesome mask, or at least a similar one?

!rant

My laptop just died for the third time.

Need to buy a new one. Not a mac.

Linux machine with 15" screen, sdd, usb c, with 8gb ram and a graphics processor.

Suggestions?

I tought I'll buy a new laptop last week.

Went to the mediamarkt. I've choosen one with hdd. That was cheaper and I have a nice ssd at home, so I tought I'm gonna change that so I've asked the salesman about the hdd. I mean if I take it out and replace it with an ssd, it'll invalidate my warranty? Said yes. But they gladly change it to me if I bring my ssd in for a dirt-cheap €79. I said you are defenetly lost your mind. It takes 5 screws and around 5 minutes.

Anyway. I've choose an another one with ssd. But there was a sticker on it too, means it is prepared to use out of the box. It means as always, the windows is full with advertises, demos and annoying settings. And I don't use windows anyway. Ohh and it costs €29. I wanted one without this thing. Said ok, he'll check it. Comes back and said these modells are all prepared with this. I've asked him to show me a product which is 'clean'. He replied "actually all our laptops came prepared".

So I went mad and left them. This whole procedure takes more than an hour with one lesson: never go there again to buy a computer.

But at the end I've found a solution. Configurable laptops with 2 year warranty even if you upgrade it. Thats what I'll buy soon. I've had enough of big brands bullshits about unnecessary features and other bullshit. I'll buy what I need, not more, not less.

I'll write down the brand if anyone interested.

Me: "So, this is a new way to show to your clients the daily menu using a QR Code and..."

Client: "I like it. I wanna buy it."

Me: "What?"

Client:"This QR-thing. I wanna be the only one using it"

Me:"But you can't buy the QR Code technol..."

Client:"Don't bother me. I want it. And when I want it, I get it. I can pay, you know."

Me:"Ehm......Oooook."
Me: "It's 10$ for every QR Code that we, and only we, will create! But, hey! Shhh!!"

Why is source code so crappy? May career is not the longest, buy in my 8 years I talked to so many developers and every one told me how important quality, standards, tests and architecture are - but every codebase I've seen is lacking all of it. Everything is running on constant live support.

I don't get it. It is like I live in a world where everyone does know what has to be done, but no-one does it. I suspect it is because people are lazy, lying and won't say no but that's also not a world I want to live in.

Work at a banking software company, one bug allowed bankers to book a deal after quote expired. So i could theoretically buy something at yesterday's rate. Dev forgot the "btnBook.enabled=false"

Five or six years ago I was mining bitcoin. I was among first miners. I had a lot of bitcoin. I sold most of btc for 1$ or under to buy laptop so I can code. Bitcoin price was 1200$ at one point. I paid my laptop 300.000$. I am now senior dev. Fck money.

Testing an attendace machine API one by one so i know what does what.

And there’s an API for wiping all the attendance data stored in the machine.

I didn’t realize it until i push the damn button.

The attendance machine just become fresh like new 😱😨😰

Shit.

A testing session just become an extreme sport.

Thankfully the IT guy has a backup but just up to last month.

Well, it’s better than nothing isn’t it?

He just tell his boss that the machine was run out of memory and the attendance data for the current month were not saved.

And he ask him to buy me some machine for testing.

Yes, i was living on the edge by testing in the production machine.

Black Friday is the time where you consider to buy a new laptop and finds that laptop companies don't know how to make one for programmers. Either they are shit or they are gamer laptop that have 2~4 GB of video memory you will never use and costs thousands of dollars.
Is it hard to make one with good CPU, RAM and a SSD without concluding that you are a hardcore gamer and you need an expensive video card along with it?

Today I was at the store because I needed a Usb C cable. I grabed one of the shelf that was 40€. It wasn't even particularly fancy, it was just 1,5 m long and not very special. I asked an employee if they had a cheaper option and he recommended me that I should buy a micro Usb cable instead. Yeah, it would be cheaper you idiot, but it would also be USELESS!!!

This is a message to all “yes man” developers:

Yeah… we just got in that the client has new requirements for you to complete by EOD:

1. Go to the gas station
2. Buy two gallons of gasoline
3. Order two 2 ft long dildos online
4. Go to the center of your town
5. Scream “fuck me corporate daddy, I’ll do anything for you” 100 times
6. Shove one dildo into ur ass and one in your mouth
7. Pour gasoline all over yourself
8. Light yourself on fire
9. Contemplate what little self respect you have for yourself and the rest of the world…

My company has been looking for a project time tracking and reporting app/website for 2 years but are too cheap to buy one. So they want me to develop one to their specifications which are forever changing. Let's say I've intentionally wasted so much time "perfecting it". it's been done for 2 months.

Thinking of making my own laptop stickers:

- Buy letter size sticker paper
- Print multiple logos/icons on sticker paper
- if needed, laminate the front side of the sticker paper with a thermal laminator (wife has one)
- Cut the stickers out
- ???
- Profit

I will report back with the results and pictures later. I assume they will end up a bit thick if I laminate them.

If anyone wants to buy a new router, I recommend this one!

my parents have a very old printer (it is so old even Noah could use it on his fcking ark). That piece of crap refused to print, I told my parents that they should buy a new one. My father told me that i should fix it since im studying programming for 3 years now.... I can't explain the feeling

Buying a motherboard variant without WiFi to save 100€ is the worst financial decision ever...

Here I am, after spending over 300€ in USB adapters first, then PCIe boards, buying another one because it broke again...
The alternative is to buy a new motherboard (gen 4 in 2023?!) or change the whole system... two even worse financial options.

Today was very good day for me:
one of my friend said he is going to buy new phone as his older phone is unrepairable (Android failed to boot). I took the phone installed twrp - unlocked bootloader and then flashed cynogen os and boom! android booted up.
Now they think me as a genius and says i wrote that Android OS, i tried saying its just a hack due to open source but they still think me as a HACKER! :)

Buys a product on amazon.

"Intelligent" ML based Amazon backend services: This guy just ordered a product. He might not want to see any ads showing him the exact same product because he already bought it and will not want to buy another until he loses the first one which might take a while.

Result:
User.showAdsRelatedTo(productName)

Meshine learning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guys seriously why would you buy a macbook if apple will support it for like 7 years then you won't be able to upgrade to newer OSX versions? whereas a good laptop machine could run Linux for a lifetime, you could even change distros if you got bored.

Let me dive into it, If I buy a brand new macbook and use it rarely, its condition will barely change however one day I will get the message you need a greater version to install X app, seriously apple?

Real life scenario: I have an ipod touch 5 i rarely use it, one day i decided to install an application and boom no you can't buddy you need to upgrade the iOS however the currently version of iOS is the latest version i could get for that ipod touch model, so the thing is, I have a perfect condition product that is unusable unless for some music playing and what i already installed as apps, does it look fair to you? I have the same issue with an ipad mini, its condition is perfect, battery life is decent, I can't receive anymore updates, the youtube app stopped working, im stuck again with a product that i can use only to read some ebooks or use youtube through the browser, apple wants me to buy a new ipad which is absurd.

I will never buy an apple product again

Fuck you Apple

Fuck this piece of shit that calls itself a Macbook Pro. Bought myself a Mac in 2011 because I wanted something durable. Spent 2k € on it. Now its more annoying thany any Windows machine I ever had because I have this fucking GPU glitch that Keeps. Crashing. My. Machine. I cant work that way.
Yeah, already had it repaired. Didn't work. Use gfxCardStatus to keep it on integrated. Doesnt work. Well, I coud just buy a new one, couldn't I? Fuck Apple, fuck you.

An ad of items on sale in a store:

Bath toys for babies, buy 1, get a second one for 1 $...

One of the toys is a rubber duck..
I don't have a baby...still considering 😂

I must be getting old. I seem to be the only one confused about 20,000 people successfully paying $60 to buy a digital 3d object from star wars last night. Disney made over a million in 4 seconds.
NFT's powered through blockchains. Feels like a pyramid scheme for the 21st Century. Everyone needs to calm down.

My project just went from "we can use one of those arduino boards, they are cheap and easy to use" to "we need a mass storage solution for that, maybe we can buy a shipping container and put it down on a nearby field as an on site storage". I love the things I would do if I had the resources for this kind of project!

Why you would sell your company to Microsoft too!

1. Your company is so succesful， the valuation is so high， only a handful of companies could buy it.

2. Running a company takes a shit load of energy， and most normal people hope to relax at one point in their life.

3. People at the head of major international companies are not normal humans. They like do over work and they have one goal. Be number 1.

So good successful people sell to evil and more succesful people.

And when i say evil， i really just mean that being number 1 is more important than ethics.

Edit: spelling.

I became storage addicted… started with a 240 GB SSD + a 2 TB HDD... two years later added a new 1 TB SSD, a few months later when the HDD died changed it with a 4 TB one… a few days later I bought a 10 TB NAS (80% off on Amazon, too cheap not to buy).

Now I have 15.24 TB and still thinking about changing that 240 GB SSD with a 2 TB one.

I need help.

When I still in college one of my friend called me
Friend : you major is CS right?
Me: yeah
Friend : I want to buy a new PC
Me : cool
Friend :just to check with you what is the price for a 512M memory?
Me : ......

This is a guide for technology noobies who wants to buy a laptop but have no idea what the SPECS are meaning.

1. Brand
If you like Apple, and love their !sleek design, go to the nearest Apple store and tell them "I want to buy one. Recommendations?"
If you don't like Apple, well, buy anything that fits you. Read more below.

2. Size
There are 11~15 inches, weight is 850g ~ 2+kg. Very many options. Buy whatever you like.

//Fun part coming

3. CPU
This is the power of the brain.
For example,
Pentium is Elementary Schoolers
i3 is Middle Schoolers
i5 is High Schoolers
i7 is University People

Dual-core is 2 people
Quad-core is 4 people

Quiz! What is i5 Dual-core?
A) 2 High Schoolers.

Easy peasy, right?

Now if you have a smartphone and ONLY use Messaging, Phone, and Whatsapp (lol), you can buy Pentium laptops.
If not, I recommend at least i3

Also, there are numbers behind those CPU, like i3-6100
6 means 6th generaton.
If the numbers are bigger, it is the most recent generation.

Think of 6xxx as Stone age people
7xxx as Bronze age people
8xxx as Iron age people
and so one.

4. RAM
This is the size of the desk.
There are 4GB, 8GB, 16GB, 32GB, and so one.
Think of 4GB as small desk to only put one book on it.
8GB as a desk to put a laptop with a keyboard and a mouse.
16GB as a normal sized desk to put some books, laptop, and food.
32GB as a boss sized desk.
And so one.

When you do multitasking, and the desk is too small...
You don't feel comfortable right?
It is good when there are spacious space.
Same with RAM.

But when the desk becomes larger, it gets expensive, so buy the one with the affordable price.

If you watch some YouTube videos in Chrome and do some document words with Office, buy at least 8GB. 16GB is recommended.

5. HDD/SSD
You take out the stuffs such as books and laptop from the basket (HDD/SSD), and put in your desk (RAM).

There are two kinds of baskets.
The super big ones, but because it is so big, it is bulky and hard to get stuffs out of the basket. But it is cheap. (HDD)
There are a bit smaller ones but expensive compared to the HDD, it is called SSD. This basket is right next to you, and it is super easy to get stuffs out of this basket. The opening time is faster as well.

SSDs were expensive, but as times go, it gets bigger as well, and cheaper. So most laptops are SSD these days.
There are 128GB, 256GB, 512GB, and 1024GB(=1TB), and so one. You can buy what you want. Recommend 256GB for normal use.
Game guy? At least 512GB.

6. Graphics
It is the eyesight.
Most computers doesn't have dedicated graphics card, it comes with the CPU. Intel CPUs has CPU + graphics, but the graphics powered by Intel isn't that good.
But NVIDIA graphics cards are great. Recommended for gamers. But it is a bit more expensive.

So TL;DR

Buying a laptop is
- Pick the person and the person's clothes (brand and design)
- Pick the space for the person to stay (RAM, SSD/HDD)
- Pick how smart they are (CPU)
- Pick how many (Core)
- Pick the generation (6xxx, 7xxx ....)
- Pick their eyesight (graphics)

And that's pretty much it.
Super easy to buy a laptop right?

If you have suggestions or questions, make sure to leave a comment, upvote this rant, and share to your friends!

Laptop has died. This is probably a significant blocker to development...

Oh well time to buy a new one I guess!

"Can you buy a taser from the darknet? A colleague of mine wants one."

Pro Tip #12:

If you boot of HDD buy one of the cheap 240 GB SSD and try yourself. Windows finally boots in less than 5000 min.

I want a Mac so bad but I’m a poor starving student so I can’t buy one but I’m so fucking sick of windows

I’m considering installing a Linux distro but I don’t think my music production software works on Linux??

Anyone using native instruments software (specifically maschine?) using Linux?

I wanted to buy one when I get a job, and now this happens :(

• Learn new things!
• Continue my programming projects (mostly C#), and eventually publish them!
• Create more programming side-projects!
• Create more music, of various genres, and finish unfinished tracks! (I love music 💙)
• Buy a violin, or another instrument! (I already play harpsichord and piano, and I love them both)
• Buy a new PC setup! (maybe?)
• Get a driver's license!
• Create more music sheets!
• Create more custom maps, on rhythm games! (like osu! or Cytus / Cytunity)
• Make new friends, and meet with my older ones more!
• Go to places, new and old!
• Open myself more to others! (I'm kinda shy)
• Do my university's exams, properly!
• Do my conservatory's exams, also properly!
• Try drawing!
• Try all sorts of new things!
• Get a cat into the family! (I love cats, but I never got one because I don't know how to raise them, yet)
• Be more confident about myself!

And... yeah, I guess that's it :D
What about you?
Have a happy 2019, everyone! 💙

- a split keyboard with a touchpad in the middle that will let you control all gestures on a computer

- a set of desk/monitors that adjusts perfectly for ergo for anyone

- a vertical laptop dock that is modular so you can add extra memory/video processing power and only using your laptop as a CPU/secondary graphics card

- a set of kitchenware and plates that would be so easy to clean and would never get stained

-an insect home alarm system that tells you where the fucking insect is so it doesn't take you by surprise/you can call someone to remove it

- a clothing brand that has a buy one gift one operation mechanic, where you buy a shirt and an article is donated to a local charity

- a restaurant

- a simple, yet robust database option that walks users through creating good databases that is super user friendly

- an app that takes tattoo designs in any format, converts them, allows for editing, and then can hook up to a special printer that gives you the transfer you will use on the client

So i got myself a TeamTreeHouse subscription last month to learn python. But I guess I'll have to discontinue.

My laptop can't take it anymore. I'll have to wait until I buy a new one 😅

I have to choose between paying for sister's education loan or my laptop. Guess who is in not getting a laptop 🙂

! Rant
I recently learned about rubber duck debugging hence wanted to buy one.
So went on to Amazon.in to find some.
And surprise surprise guess whom did I find in my instagram feed?
Marketing has turned into stalking these days eh?

If I have $100000 budget for a Steelcase chair, which one should I buy?

defuq!!
I was on the airport and wanted to buy a millefeuilles to eat, those bustards buy the single piece fir almost $2.5 (few meters outside the airport it's just less that $0.5).
Let's do the math: the dimensions of one piece is almost 10x5 cm, which means a surface of 50 cm² (0.005 m²).
So a m² of millefeuilles costs $500, what the shit, a m² awful millefeuilles is more expensive than m² of land in a respectable area.

So with the advent of Docker Desktop going premium we thought we'd buy a couple licenses... What did the HR team say?

"No, you're fine - we can just keep using it - how will they know?"

WHAT??!!! I will NOT be the one who gets brought into a multi-million dollar lawsuit because HR are a bunch of nitwits. I will fight this with everything I have so that when ouch time comes, i can say i didnt participate in the shady bullshit these people are recommending.

My old mechanical keyboard broke, so I had to buy a new one. I'm Brazilian, so the local market for mech keyboards is either limited or very fancy (fancy as gaming keyboards).

So I got this amazing Logitech G610, which unfortunately is not sold with blue switches here, only brown ones. Very solidly built, well made, good extra keys and whatnot.

BUT OH MY, who ever thinks those LED effects are good for normal usage after 5 minutes of playing with them??? VERY distracting! <o>

Job frustrated me again today.

The shit just keeps on commiting suicide...

Cannot talk much about it, but essentially it's faulty software killing randomly one or one up to N servers running elasticsearch...

Conversation between me and a good friend:

Me: No gaming today, work todo.
Him: noooo...
Me: Yes...... Could u go buy some groceries? Household help is sick.
Him: maybe...what u need?
Me: coffee. I need frigging fucking coffee.
Him: ok. How bad is it.......
Me: empty today.
Him: will be at your house in hour. DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.

...

It's funny how good friends immediately sense danger and become very attentive when the lack of coffee and myself is mentioned in one sentence.

Hahah the other day I broke the bracket key on my keybord from pressing it while coding and had to buy a new one.
Everyone asked me how I broke the 0 key before the E.

We accepted a property listing project for a client.
I have been looking online for references and inspiration regarding design, features, plugins etc.

And this is what I just found. I shit you not. $20 and you get everything. WTF.

May be I will just buy it and give it to my client. $20 and you have like 40 lines of features, if not lied, which are more than enough to meet my client's requirements.

Why the heck am I working?
Am I the one who is charging too high to my client?

Watched a co-worker configure a new "MacBook pro" as a replacement for the four-year-old one this personcurrently has. A replacement machine is justified as the old one is on the fritz... Naturally because MacBooks aren't any better than any other machine, build quality or otherwise. I still cannot fathom why anyone would even consider budgeting over $3000 for a single machine, only to then buy several adapters just to make the thing work.

Apple is off the deep end. People who fall for that BS are off the deep end.

I feel like showing the manager several alternative models at half the price just to make the point that MacBooks are a pointless waste of money.

I made this bad decision to buy pretty pricey laptop with nVidia card. Lenovo Legion Y520.
So yeah, have you heard about optimus technology and how much one can hate nvidia?

> Debian is working, nice.
> Let's try nvidia-driver.
> 48hours later: WOoooooah glxgears at 120 fps!
> Installed some fonts. "Could not load gpu driver". HDMI port stops working. Unable to repair. Entering despair.
> Surviving on dual-booted windows.

halp

When you've worked days on certain implementations and no one realizes all the work required for the few features. Or when you've only built the framework and basis buy everyone feels the need to critique and tell you what to add. Needing a devRant stress ball Rn..

Friend from a company I did an integration delivery with sent me this lovely slack discouse. I had no idea their HR lady let her freak flag fly at work 😏

Wonder how many years she's been casually tossing that one around.

Wow.... FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

I just destroyed my raspberry. Miscalculated the resistor I need and RiP. Took 2 seconds and BOOOOM. Nothing is working anymore :( 2 weeks of wasted free time. Guess I'll have to buy a new one. Want to finish my project so hard

Seriously?
Official dotTech site: Rs. 3200
BigRock: Rs. 99
GoDaddy: Rs. 499

I want to migrate my domain away from Big Rock not buy a new one there 🙄

We have 7000+ employees and I'm the only one who do dev work. IT had special meetings how to handle my requests. In the end they told me to buy a separate laptop and keep it outside the network. Suits me fine :)

Few weeks back, I have subscribed /r/battlestations and drooling everyday. Now with this latest devRant news, it's time to save money or sell my ass on street to

1) buy a wide monitor or monitors
2) buy backlit keyboard and mouse
3) buy a good desk
4) buy a good chair
5) buy/rent a room with enough space

Forget about buying and setting up a good unit, I can just use my potato laptop for one photo taking. *dry-laugh*

(∩︵∩)

I need to buy a laptop to replace my 5 year old one. My work is mostly in data science. My budget is really flexible. Any suggestions?

As a student, I live in a house with friends and the actual didn't have a table in my room.
So after one month waiting for a answer of the owner I decided to buy one in second hand. All I can say is that I love it.
Any suggestions to some improvements?

PS: external drive is only temporary

I feel that Microsoft putting a deadline on their Win 10 OS is just one more way to get people to buy into it

Would you guys use a LED TV as a monitor? Don't want to buy a monitor and want to use that one instead until it dies. But I am not sure how long it will last tho

My childhood basically. Saved up all my money to buy Pokémon games. I had one that was red tho. The amount of hours I spent on this thing... If not thousands of hours... Tens of thousands...

Then moved to Minecraft, and that's how I got coding 😇 (batch but still)

People keep asking me the reason why I am still using my 9 years old laptop which has Pentium b940 and 4 GB of ram. I should say Its enough for me!
All hard work is on the server side. I just need an SSH client, VS Code, Chromium, and Spotify, all running on a light weight Ubuntu. why should I buy one of those brand new laptops which has lights more than a UFO.

There once was a man who wanted to buy a canoe. He had a friend named Bee that sold canoes. So he went to Bee's outdoor supply store to buy a canoe.

Man: Hey Bee. I would like to buy a canoe.

Bee: You are in luck. We have 10 canoes. I can sell you all 10.

Man: But I only want one canoe.

Bee: Ah, okay, I will tell you what. I will sell you 5 canoes then.

Man (getting annoyed): No Bee, I only want the one canoe.

Bee: Ooh, I got you. I can sell you 2 canoes.

Man (very frustrated now): ONLY ONE CANOE BEE!

Bee: These are not the canoes you are looking for...

Yay today my power extender broke!
(the thing that allows you to connect multiple devices to one sockiet, i dont remember the correct term)

That means i need to buy the new one! Because the old one is using rivots it means i cant repair it!

Stupic fucking lead free solder! Why do you even use this shit for connections? It will create those tin wiskers (small wires) that will short shit! This is the reason why my 3 old power extenders failed! And it is propably the reason why it failed as well!

!rant
Hi!
*Looking for free advice*
I'm going to buy a MacBook Pro.
I'm having a hard time in choosing whether I should buy 2015 one or the 2016 one. Is not having enough ports really such a big issue?
Also, is there going to be a new MacBook Pro launch at the WWDC? :p

It has made life living like hell around muggles who think "it should not be that hard.. can you..."
NO! GO FUCK YOURSELF.
"Can you make me a POS system? A guy told me it should not take you more than a night. I will pay you (enough to buy Age of Empires 2 on Steam sale) as well."
NO GO LEARN TO CODE YOURSELF IN ONE NIGHT AND BUILD YOUR POS(piece of shit) YOURSELF IN THE NEXT NIGHT.

I think I'm reaching now 40 hours in 3 days coding a function for a nasty grouping report.

Now the report is ready.
Testing with real data I'm 3/4 units off.

Now start at least one full week of monster counting-debugging-fixing on hundred of data.

If somebody get close to me in these days, I'll cut their throat drink their blood and eat their heart still beating, like Aztecs.

I'll have no time to cook or buy anything else to eat anyway, so it will be for survival.

All I have to say is that ThinkPads are a wonderful piece of hardware that are worth the price but if they have their BIOS locked (if you buy it second hand) they're the worst thing in the world that should just be thrown into the gutter as you can't even reinstall windows in most cases nor install Linux due to secure boot being enabled and BIOS being locked ffs I had great hopes for this one

Yestersay one of my friend (who runs a school) told me to make one software for the fee management of students. I said why don't you buy from market number of people's have already selling these kind of softwares. He said yes I have tried but they are costly few of them are selling at 10 k INR (less than 200 $).

At this rate, the upcoming iPhones won't have a charging port and you've got to buy a new one once the battery dies.

Hey Linux users. Right now I have a 2011 MacBook pro the new MacBooks you are unable to take apart so I will not buy another one. So if you had a choice of any laptop what would you choose? I do not game I am a web developer and play around with app development and I build ruby CLI's. Any suggestions on what PC? Also I'm looking at arch Linux for distro what do you guys think?

Anyone here use the Surface Pro 6?
How it it like? (I am planning to buy one)

Specs I want... i5 / 8gb / 256gb

(And is the Type cover worth it?)

I just got my first eyeglasses and my monitor is so small, I'll need to buy a bigger one xd, also I feel like I'm about to vomit...

i want to buy a brand tld so bad😩

has anyone bought one?

Had a buy a salesperson a desktop to replace the one he has that has a bad HDD. I discovered he uses no storage on the thing and that buying a computer with 12 GB RAM and 256 GB SSD, was cheaper than 8 GB with any size HDD I could find at the store so we got that.

Now I'm jealous of his 10 seconds or less boot time while I have to struggle every morning waiting at least a full minute for my computer to get to login, and another one once I put in my password.

When you need to buy a new notebook because the old one is full of stickers and your devrant stickers just arrived :-) Thanks!

Client has decided to buy another server because the old one is too slow

Manager: how long will it take to move our apps to the new server
Me: maybe 3-4 hours

15 hours later
Manager: why isn't it finished yet?
Me: because I have to install a lot of missing things on the new server, and I have to google a lot to find them
Me (thinking): because your 15-years old apps suck big time

Everytime i buy any electronics , my brother would suggest me to buy latest ones with the newest configuration . His logic was " If you buy a not-so new tech now.. It will outdate fast and you will end up with an outdated one soon.. So the extra 10K is worth considering that " .

Considering the development trend i personally think it is useless to invest in electronics unless necessary . Everytime i buy an electronic product , within 2 or 3 months i find the same good at almost 75% of the price.. So with tech prices falling like this.. i think it is worth saving that money instead of the cutting edge tech which i wont need for another 2 years .

Thoughts ?

(The cousin brother i mentioned does this everytime he buys a phone and ends up changing the phone 4 times faster than me.. and the use case is similar to mine if not worse..)

I know everyone hates when people ask them for help with fixing IT related stuff.

I have a different approach to all similar questions. I don't get upset or anything, I just tell them that the device they have is a little bit shit, and suggest them buying a new expensive one that is better and will do all that. Your router isn't working as you want? Buy a Cisco (a real one with $1k+ price tag, not that Cisco branded Linksys garbage). Your printer isn't working as you want? Buy some high end Brother stuff. Etc...

After first few times they just stop asking...

Things I wish I knew when I was younger:
- no matter how clean your teeth are, bad breath won't go away until you clean your tongue. Buy a tongue cleaner and use it after you brush your teeth
- whitening toothpastes don't work, while desensitizing ones work well.
- after you brush your teeth, spit but do NOT rinse!
- when brushing your teeth, keep the toothbrush angled 45 degrees. The bristle ends should touch the area where your gums meet your teeth.
- use sunscreen every morning.
- don't waste money on acne-treating products unless they contain salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, tretinoin or adapalene.
- if you want to lose weight, you have to eat MORE, not less. But, that “more” should be protein.
- showering every morning feels like “humanity restored” thing from Dark Souls. Also, clean your damn room and wash your damn windows.
- APS-C DSLR cameras make no sense. For their weight, you can get a full-frame camera, and for their price you can get an APS-C mirrorless cam that will be way lighter.
- If you want a damn thing, save up and buy that damn thing. Don't buy the alternative thing you don't want. You'll be asking “what if” till you either die or buy the original damn thing.
- people aren't replaceable, but many people can fit their designated role. Not being able to replace your ex-boyfriend with his exact copy doesn't mean no one else can be your boyfriend.
- try a MacBook & iPhone as soon as you can to check whether it's your thing or not, because if it is, oh boy are you in for a treat.
- added sugar is evil, but it's beneficial for the economy. It makes you fat, so you need a car, so you buy fuel. Also, you feel guilty because you're fat, so you buy diet products & things to compensate because you hate your reflection in the mirror. You also pay medical fees to treat your newly developed health problems, and you die a day before retirement. Everyone makes a buck on you eating added sugar but you.
- you can use the freshly removed sticker to remove the sticky residue left by that same sticker.
- static typing doesn't solve jack shit.

If you're homeless, just buy a house.
If you don't have the money to buy a house, just sell the one you currently live in and use that money to buy a new one.

I wish i can just stop shitting. I shit so much that im literally a shitbeast. Reminds me of that one NFT project that popped out in mid 2022 with artwork of shit. You could buy shit jpegs and sell them. Golden shit is more expensive than brown shit. You could even upgrade your shit to become a diarrhea and sell that jpg. Alright im done with shitting time to wipe and post this rant as my diary

Apparently I don't have a problem with lack of games... Over the years I bought a lot of Humble Bundles which I apparently never fully redeemed...

I just redeemed some today while getting one with Dirt 4... (was actually planning to buy that yesterday from Steam just to test) I now have 54 games in the Library...

Guys help me choose
I need to buy a laptop for development

Dell XPS 13
Thinkpad X1 Carbon
MacBook pro 13" without touch pad
Or something else?

Which one should I go for?
Budget: 1.3L INR (~2000usd)

Bought a Dell laptop, didn't work properly. Returned, got another one. The second one has the same issues.
Why? It's been two months and fuck ton of stress, can't recommend Dell to anyone.

I'll probably get my money back and buy laptop that works as intended.

A few weeks ago, my phone's lock button broke, I don't wanted to buy a new one but few weeks after, the sound broke too, not only the speaker, everything! When I was trying to play a video without sound my phone crashed...
So I bought me a new phone, and it was fun**info worth !!!
The OnePlus 5t is really amazing 😍

Friend (civil engineer) : bro do you have windows cd?
Me : no but why?
F: I want to format my pc.
M : then buy genuine copy.
F : don't want to waste money in that.
M : then don't cry for lagging windows 😂😂😂
F : do you have any cost efficient way?
M : yes ,but tell me one thing ,why do you need a computer?
F : browser , office , Dropbox ( cad installed in his desk which have genuine windows)

*After 10 minutes of conversation*

F: I will bring laptop , install Ubuntu in it

Posting this rant on behalf of a friend.

I cannot install Mac OS-X Sierra on my top-of-the-line desktop MacPro because Apple has decided they want me to buy a new one, therefore I cannot install iTunes 12.5, therefore I cannot sync my iPhone 6s or iPad Air 2 to my music, backups or apps. $&@# you too, Apple! 😡

Should I buy the one with Intellisense?

Got a mac to use for work, and to be honest, I never thought that I would say this... I kind of like it.. The gripe I have with mac's is that it's not user upgradable having the ssd and ram soldered on. If this weren't the case I would probably buy one myself

One of the key person is asking every junior and senior person to build some program for her so she can automate those task.

Well everyone is just ignoring her. She never asked me. Which was kind of insulting for me and now I am thinking I should make that program and send her mail to buy it.

I need a new phone.

Should I buy the oneplus 6?
Why (not)? Or what other smartphone should I buy?

Still on the oneplus one since 3 years, it's time for a new one.

"Ughh, you're such a lazy person. Why don't you finish it instead of making me do everything afger I asked YOU to do it"

I am so fucking done playing family technicman for you. I copied all of your data from your old phone to yojr new one. I set up everything except personal accounts because I respect privacy. You only need to insert your damm sim card.

And don't you even try giving me that "I tried but could not do it, it's just to complicated"

I could buy the same phone, throw it at you and pay the lawyer if I would get one cent for each time you said that.

Nokia not even having a 3.5 jack to begin with (even when walkman existed): jUsT bUy aDaPtEr dUh
Apple removing 3.5 jack after introducing AirPods and putting lightning EarPods in the box with iPhone: REEEEEEEEE

Nokia switching from one charger plug type (thick barrel) to another (thin barrel): jUsT bUy thE nEw cHargEr dUh
Apple switching from an old wide port to lightning: REEEEEEEE

Nokia working with only Nokia Sync and Ovi that barely can do anything but lag and throw random errors at you: wElL jUsT dOnT uSe iT dUh
Apple using iTunes (Apple Music) which in 2021 can restore an absolutely bricked Apple device from the original HDD iPod to the latest iPhone 12 pro: REEEEEEEEE

Nokia using cheap labor since moving production from Hungary to Asia: *crickets*
Apple using cheap labor at Foxconn: REEEEEEEEEE I'M gOnNa dYe mY aRmpIt hAiR piNk tHiS iS alL bEcAuSe oF pAtrIarChy

I'm not even mad. I'm just disappointed.

What the fuck is up with all these vpn articles. It seems like they are everywhere. It's like get this vpn, no buy this one, wait no buy this one. Like I don't need a fucking vpn and it's not a must have.

In my country there is a huge economy deflation.
Like 1 year ago 1USD used to be 1500 pounds.
Nowadays 1USD is more like 7800 pounds.

Wait a second let me explain more into details the whole flow.

There are 3 to 4 prices we are being dealing with:
* Official Bank price that refuse to change the base price: 1500 pounds
* Bank ATM machines that exchange your dollars on a 3900 pounds per usd
* Black market: 7800 pounds managed by random mobile apps that spread rumors
* Foreigners currency: the only way to grab your reach dollars.

Long story short:
Whenever you want to win extra cash, you ask any of your relatives to lend you money from any bank in the world ( foreigners currency), try to ask in black market who is willing to exchange, you meet, you check on any mobile app what's the current price and you do the exchange.

So in order buy USD dollars on a low price, devs build 2 mobile apps one that send a POST request to change the amount in DB and a second one fo retrieve this value.
So whenever he want to buy dollars he change the value to the lowest. And whenever you want to sell the dev raise the amount slowly. So far the government has no regulations over developers why? Because the one behind the forensic are at least 60 to 70 years old more like their informations are dead.

So we struggle.

!rant

Ranters, I would like your suggestion:

I have an early 2011 13" macbook pro with 4gb ram, 320gb hdd and <400 battery cicles, which I use mostly for web dev. I started to get some annoying slow downs since last osx update, and now I am trying to figure out what to do.

I could buy an SSD hd and a new set of 16gb ram (8gb x2) and replace the internals. This would increase the performance greatly.

Or I could sell it and buy a new Retina version (with 8gb ram and 128gb ssd), at the expense of not being able to update the ram or the hard drive in the future.

It is a ~$200 option against a $1200 one. What would you do if you were in my situation?

Wtf? Why do people buy Netflix? Or Amazon TV? I am at a friends place and I think I searched for at least 30 different Films or Series already and not a single one was on either of those and on Amazon you'll often have to pay extra for a movie. I knew piracy was the correct choice. Wtf... And people pay for this shit...

I want to buy a mechanical keyboard, but I've never bought one. Where should I start?

I want to buy a new computer + display + speakers and now, I have to decide, whether to buy the one with a GTX 1060 3GB, a better display and better speakers, or the one with a GTX 1060 6GB, and not that good display and speakers.
Damn, my brain hurts...

Damn, the struggle was real, but I finally succeeded to install ubuntu on this fucking computer. Now I need to buy a decent keyboard. Any idea for a good, cheap one ?

I hate those "simple DIY" instructables. Just had to build something I had to get. Found out one "simple DIY". It requires owning a power drill with a table mount. And a pipe threading machine. Yes, I surely have a drill mount for drilling thru some steel, I know how to use a CNC machine, and maybe have a little metal foundry in my flat. But hey, it's a DIY not 'go to nearest store and buy that friggin piece you need' so you should have prepared yourself for some difficulties.
It's not supposed to be easy!
I still wonder why the author not assumed everyone own a metal foundry, after all. It would be much easier for all of us.

And I ended using PCV, glue, and a spare bottle. Had to buy drill for glass, less than $3. Wasted few bottles to cut out what I wanted. Beer was quite good, thou.

TL;DR: Free/cheap software for photo editing?

My sis edits her photos with PicsArt and she sometimes takes mini-jobs for a wedding or something. Yet she seeks some "more professional" editing software (for desktop).

Ofc since it is a hobby she doesn't want to buy adobes kit for photoshop yet on the other hand, pirating it is bullshit when earning money with it.

What are your free/cheap one-time-pay photo editing software recommendations? (I already recommended her affinity and gimp but she doesn't really wanna learn gimp)

Just ripped the inside seam of one side of my trousers from knee to crotch.

Damn me and my muscular thighs, some one is going to have to go out and buy me some trousers at lunch time.

Today I got the chance to try 1 of the 9 HoloLens available in my country. I'm completely mind blown. The ability to incorporate virtual elements in the real world and make them behave like real physical objects is incredible! I really hope AR gains traction to buy an headset for myself.

PS: Project X-ray is one of the most fun games I've ever played.

Am I missing something here? Lets Encrypt auto renews SSL every 90 days....BUT it will fail if you have .htaccess re-direct set up to https. So you would have to switch off the https redirect, manually renew, then switch it back on again. Thats fucking crazy. I can’t find a way round this. The hosting co set this up but are encouraging people to buy one of theirs when the renewal fails. a cunning plot to get more of their own SSLs. Any ideas?

I like nerdy and cool coffee mugs. Comment with your favorites—bonus points for pictures! My best one right now is a Fermilab mug. Looking to buy a new dev-related mug!

(If only there was a devRant mug...)

Anyone into bonsai trees to give some tips how to start?

Been thinking about growing a bonsai by my own but I don't know a thing about bonsai trees.

I don't wanna buy one. Wanna make it and put it indoors, in my office.

How does a company in 2022 NOT have the option to buy more seats during the year you have some seats paid for?
We bought 10 seats (the min.) to test the App out and then wanted to buy 37 more but we had to go through days and days of dealing with people trying to figure out how to do that.
Their story is that no one ever buys more seats until the year is over. My guess is that no one continues with this company after dealing with this garbage. They have other products. Seems this one product is just ignored. Which gives me a business idea.