Yet, more to come.

School time, programming class:
Girl: Hey, Can you help me?
Me: Sure, what's up?
G: I have an error but I don't know why
M: *looks at error stack trace* You're missing a semicolon in line 133 *puts comma, run... 27 more errors* Well, you have more issues up there, why don't you try to fix them?
G: Oh, Ok, thanks
-- 1 hour later --
G: Hey, can you come? I already fixed the other issues but I still have one I can't fix
M: *checks code, same mistake I fixed, missing semicolon, same line* Why did you erase the semicolon?
G: Oh, because if I erase it, I only have 1 error, but if I leave it, I have 27 so....
M: *turn around, walk away*

Trying to come up with function names when it does more than one thing.

Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.

Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.

Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---

Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...

Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...

My brother and I have been messing with our IBM 5150 and doing cool stuff with it. I got it to play a youtube video via telnet via my bro's mac via mplayer with libcaca (ascii video output) + youtube-dl (a youtube downloader. The mac is doing all the heavy lifting, but it is still cool to see these images on a IBM 5150, just by typing a few commands on that old keyboard... more fun projects to come with this old thing.

Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.

Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.

CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
IT: *ignores*
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*

After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.

IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".

👋

🎤

You go to an accountant to file your itemized taxes in a couple of hours, you pay them at least $200.
You go to a lawyer to incorporate your business in 2 days, and you pay at least $800.
You hire a photographer to take pictures of your 4-hours wedding and you pay them at least $1500.
You go to your car dealership to fix something and they charge you about $125 hourly labor rate.
Now, ENLIGHTEN ME, how did you come up with the idea that the web application I will create for your business in 8 weeks (design, code, test, deploy, server administration) should not cost more than $500????!!!!!

EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2020)
-------------------------
We've been at this a few years now, and over the last 6 months we've been working closely with a brand consulting agency, and after numerous developer interviews, surveys and focus groups, we've come to realize "devRant" is simply not capturing the cultural zeitgeist of this new decade. Therefore, we have a bold new brand that will be rolling out over the coming week. devDucks is our bold vision for the future, today. devDucks speaks to a new generation of software engineers who resonate with a more upbeat, optimistic tone when they go to an anonymous web community to swear and lament their current work situation. While we finalize the new logo and other key marketing collateral, we have started a staged roll-out of our new brand styling, including the conversion of all avatars to literal devDucks. We hope this brings more joy to your ranting, as it has to ours. Sincerely, David & Tim (@dfox & @trogus) - devDucks co-founders

Manager: How come the intern does way more tickets than you?

Dev: Because you told me to only give him the easy ones since he either can’t do them otherwise or takes too long on the hard ones

Manager: Well how is he going to learn if we only give him easy ones?

Dev: That’s what I told you when you orig—

Manager: Assign him ALL of the hard tickets on your board immediately!

*Tickets closed per day drops significantly*

Manager: WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG ON THESE TICKETS!!!!!

Dev: …

Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.

an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.

Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.

This guy has lost his fucking mind.

Recruiter: This is a 100% remote position

Dev: Good! That’s what I’m looking for.

Recruiter: But the company does require you to come into the office “on occasion”

Dev: I live 5 hours away from your office so that would be not a good fit

Recruiter: And once covid is over the ability to work remotely will be getting reconsidered. You’ll likely need to move cities in order to continue your employment with them.

Dev: Yeah I’m looking for 100% remote work

Recruit: This is 100% remote! Just with the need to come into the office sometimes now and potentially more later.

Dev: …

Am I the only one who learns more on my own than at university? It really annoys me when I come here to study but all I do is read devRant posts all day, they are good tho.

I usually don’t use caps so I apologize but.... HOLY FUCKING SHIT! MY PERSONAL BUSINESS THAT I BUILT WITH My HANDS HAS JUST SIGNED A ****HUGE**** contract!! More to come!

What the fuck is this one-way interview bullshit?

"The organization you are interviewing with has come up with a series of interview questions that they have requested you to respond to. This is an on-demand interview which means that you'll be recording your video interview answers at your convenience as long as you submit them before the deadline." -- sparkhire.com

Like seriously?
What if I have questions? I have plenty, and I find those questions considerably more important than whatever bullshit gotchas the company wants to annoy me with.

One-way interview.
Fucking really.

At least have the decency to talk to me.

Now there was this meeting where our boss called our team to reach at exactly 8:00 . One minute more and you will be fired.
Turns out he himself reached at 8:15 for the meet. And we were just staring him, wanting to say, "Hey boss, you don't need to come anymore. YOU ARE FIRED."

*While I was working from home this occurred*

New Accountant: How come Dev gets the nicest chair in the office?

IT: He brings his own chair because he doesn’t like the ones we have here.

New Accountant: How come I don’t get a nice chair?

IT: If you want a nicer chair either ask your department manager to buy one or if that doesn’t work you’re welcome to bring in your own

New Accountant: I shouldn’t have to bring in my chair from home! I want a nice chair like Dev has but I don’t want to spend the money to buy one as nice as his and my department manager said we don’t have the budget to buy one either!

IT: He buys them from a used office warehouse for pretty cheap actually, cheaper than what the company pays annually to rent these chairs from what I’ve heard. He has 3 more at home. You should ask him where he gets them from.

New Accountant: He should give me his chair! He mostly works remote anyway!

*This resulted in my being asked to come into the office to remove my chair because it was “upsetting people” in the office*

For April Fools at a school I worked for, I printed off one of those "Your printer has been upgraded to be voice activated" signs and put it on their fairly new printer, went into the room opposite and waited. I heard far far too many teachers saying "Copy!" repeatedly, getting more and more agitated before 'manually' copying their document. I had to come clean before I left at lunch time because one of the teachers got quite angry at the prospect of a voice activated photocopier and refused to use it that way. The following year April Fools was on a school holiday so I couldn't pull it in the school I was in that day but i fully expect it to work somewhere else.

Real and true story of me.
Friend : what was his first pickup lines that melt you ?
Me : nah, he was straight to the point
F : come on, you both always look romantic all the time. there must be something in the beginning. tell me more !
Friend : fine, he said "I Like you, can i i SSH you ?" so i replied "I'm not that complicated, sudo hug me"
F: i regret being your friend.

So, as some people here probably know, I don't use any of the mainstream, mass surveillance integrated social media and messaging services. Since I'm located in the Netherlands especially whatsapp is nearly a life requirement but Facebook and such come close as well and I don't use anything related to Facebook, Google, Apple and any of the other companies related to mass surveillance programs which often puts me in awkward positions.

Every time someone wants to stay in touch and the fact that I don't use whatsapp comes up again, it usually turns into an explaining session with much disbelief from the other party but more and more often, I'm getting rather tired of that.

Recently, I had one of those moments and instead of saying 'sorry, I don't use whatsapp', i went for 'sorry, I'm old school, i only do texting and calling!'.

No discussion, just got a "ah, fair enough!"

😮

I started doing this more and more and I get the same response every time!

I find it quite astonishing how bringing something another way can get one a completely different response, especially in this context.

When you show the senior developer your clever solution to a problem and they come back with "you can also do XYZ" and his solution is much more elegant. Appreciate your superiors kids.

Spend half the day setting up a dedicated server at work (including getting all the hardware together) and installing CentOS and tweaking around.

For a client? Oh no, there just literally wasn't anything else to do and I didn't want to sit around doing nothing or working on shell scripts AGAIN. (working in support (+ linux server management) and due to the holidays hardly any support requests come in)

*Hmmm, lets install nginx for fun*
"yum install ngi..."
*wait, let's compile from source and make it more fun!*

So yeah, that was my day, I guess.

Heck yes!

I implement a stack trace in my embedded systems!

Whenever a device crashes, it makes a stack dump in an unused part of ram.
After it has rebooted and is connected to the server again, it uploads the stack dump.

The server then opens the correct firmware elf file, walks the stack and associates the debug info from the elf.

The result? A beautiful stack trace with file names, function names and line numbers.

No more guessing where random crashes come from.

Agreed with a guy on a price for a second hand laptop-tablet. Finally on my way (NS, go drown in an ocean of infected cum) but I'd be very late.

Guy offers to come to the station (saving me more than an hour of travel time)!

This one SHOULD be Linux compatible 😅

I'm upset. I got banned by StackOverflow because of the questions I've asked recently.

I've worked very hard on my account, getting myself up to 293 points over quite a few months.

And then they just toss me overboard because of the reception of a few questions that I've asked recently.

I deleted the question, re-edited it, and tried so hard to get myself out of the ban. And then I come back and here I am, completely banned. It's so fucking shitty.

What's even the point? I feel that most of the time the community spends more time downvoting instead of upvoting?

How can I even compete? I'm trying to get help, not feel invalidated and smashed by a stupid point system.

I'm just going to go sit in a corner and cry now because clearly, my questions are worth more than the points I've garnered.

Been a jr. dev at a company that's badly in need of more devs. So they hire a sr. dev to work w/ me. Dude's got yrs of xp over me, so he should be ramped up in no time, right?

Jk, he doesn't even know the basics of git. Also, his code is shit. If he's not let go anytime soon, at least I'll look awesome relative to this guy come performance reviews ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Monday : SSD dies
Thursday : HDD dies, so I take one out of the laptop to have a working pc
Today : Said HDD dies

Due to lack of hardware components for my pc to kill off, my current setup consists of 1 usb for live system and two more to act as storage

Next paycheck can't come fast enough

This might come off like i'm so full of myself, but its just true.

This probably happens to so many other girl devs as well, so this might be relatable.

Why can't guys at school, work, etc. just be friends with me? They often start liking me as more than a friend, causing me to disappoint them that I don't, and then they don't want to be friends anymore.

I get it, there aren't many developer, 'gamer', reasonably attractive girls out there, but damn it kinda sucks :/.

The learning curve for programming is more like steps than a curve.

Really tall steps.

And they go on forever.

Eventually you die. Leaving your body as a landmark for those who come after you. Unless you're completely useless. Then your body just ends up at the bottom of a gully.

The point is don't give up. Don't die in a gully. Each dead end is a wall to clime. Every plateau is just the path to the next step.

SNOW!! LOADS OF SNOW AND MORE TO COME OVERNIGHT!

YAYYYYYY!!!!!

I know I sound childish. I don't care. Nothing brings me as much sincere joy as loads of snow or even blizards.

“Fullstack dev continues to be consistent”

We’d an enhancement request where we needed to support Ionic apps. Our manager didn’t know anything about Ionic so she asks us what it was instead of asking Google.

Manager: so what’s this Ionic thingy?

Me: Ionic issss.... (gets interrupted by Fullstack dev)

Fullstack dev: so the thing is ... it’s like... (consistent with his opening lines as always) it’s a third party plugin which converts react app and html pages to native code.

Me: (thinking of sacrificing him at the altar of Lucifer)

Manager: Nice!

More to come.

Business guy: hmmm, what do you think about getting the programmers to come to the office more often?
Me: uhhhh explain?
BG: feels like when working from home they might only give it their 90%, but in the office they'd do 100%.
Me: let's not talk about how you reached that conclusion for now. If you force them to come more often they will quit.
BG: what about the new people we want to hire?
Me: most jobs have full remote available, why would anyone pick us?
BG: hmmm. Btw next week we'll talk with some stakeholders about trying to get some outsource help. You know, for repetitive stuff that doesn't require in-house engineers.
Me: like what?
BG: you know, repetitive stuff

This is suffering. Is my only choice to tell the guy that he has no clue what he is talking about, should STFU, and let the technically capable people to handle themselves? As in, we already do but for some reason he still thinks he knows better than the people doing the god damn job? But if I do so, the salinity in his blood will bring other problems upon us.

I remember seeing Silicon Valley and watching Big Head do nothing at a big company and thought that was never possible.

Working at a FAANG company for 6 years and just completed 3 months of sitting around doing nothing, with 6 more months to come.

Life is indeed stranger than fiction.

I wouldn't say least successful but my current one has an extremely irritating annoyance.

I have to setup a tile server (for those draggable maps in browsers and such) and I've come to the point where I'm skilled enough to at least setup the server. BUT:

- Generating the tiles from a database to PNG pbf files at a max 15 zoom level of only even the goddamn nerherlands will take more than a hundred days and I want the entire goddamn world. (20 core rather powerful server).
The end result is veeery fast.
- The importing is fast enough but generating them on the fly is so painstakingly slow 😫

😖

At my fucking wits end, but coding will help me prevail.

Got kicked out my apartment because I couldn't make the payment. Fucking job I have is fucking useless (dev and administrator) in terms of pay. They basically have me by the balls. Can't leave because I need the money, need to leave because I need more money.

Fuck it. Tired of eating noodles and ramen. Tired of being fucked around like this. Paying for my own studies has fucked me harder than a bottle of tequila and a casino trip.

But I shall code, and I shall code until I prevail.

To the place I work for, fuck you (not being unfair, I earn less than the receptionist and I have a degree, a plethora of certs, and a few years exp). My time will come, and when it does, I'll come out on top.

Until then, I rant and code.

Me, starting my internship in ML.. coworkers come to me asking what computer I need:
Me: Well, something more powerful than this i3, and most importantly some kind of GPU for training.
Them: Ok, what kind of GPU?
Me: Well, a 1080 or 2080 should be more than enough and good performance for the price.
Them: Oh.. We were more thinking about a Tesla V100 or something like that!
Me: (internally) WTF this costs more than what you'll pay me for the internship, this is so cool. (to them) Oh, yes, why not, great perfomance, blah blah blah.

I would prefer them to pay me more, but at least they're not going to hold me down with bad components! Nothing to rant about for now.. Hope it'll stay the same ^^

So I've been playing some DnD with friends.
And we've been working with some lego characters, whiteboard markers and plastic sheets to draw on.

But that's always a mess:
The ink was old and did not come off again for the most part
The sides of the map curled up and and made the lego character fall over
The lego characters were too big
And more...

So I thought, why not make it digital?

And so I did.
I used UWP to make a master and a client, both using the Windows Ink api to be able to draw.
Some circles with an initial served as characters, and everything was synchronized using a TCP library I wrote half a year ago.

Yesterday we tried it out.
We all (including me) were sceptical if it would work well because the 'analog' clumsy way we did it before does have a certain charm.

But at the end we were all very enthousiastic about it and we'll be using it next time too!
It's awesome to be able to create programs for your own use :D
That's why being able to program is such a great thing!

Now I need to restructure everything, make it more efficient, add a turn order display, make the map zoom- and moveable and more and more....

Totally useful!
Master CS Degree.
More knowledge then most coders.
More knowledge on what’s going to come.

No ragrets 🤷‍♂️

I used to think Electron apps were gonna do great and make it more accessible for companies to produce high quality programs with ease.

Oh boy I was wrong. All it did is enable big companies with the ability to refactor all of their software to run 5 times slower, consume 10 times more memory and kill your battery 20 times faster.

I fucking hate all of this prototype fast optimize later bullshit. Can I get some value for my dollar? How come technology is just being degraded for the same of "ease of programming".

You save programming time but sacrifice end user time, cus our time just doesn't fucking matter.

Weekend projects are fun! Although front end is still a challenge, it looks good enough.

Suddenly got the idea to do something with letsencrypt/nginx wildcard subdomains (*.example.com) so created a project around that now through which you can check what your ip address/user agent/operating system/ip version is (maybe more to come) but due to the wildcard part you can enter quite a number of subdomains which all show the related info.

I'd find it very useful myself, not sure if other people would but oh well!

I come from PHP and have been using jQuery as a crutch for years. I've dabbled in Node and obviously writing some vanilla JS is unavoidable, but now I'm starting to use ES6 with Babel and VueJS and the more I dig in, the more I hate javascript. Everything is an object (null, array), there seems to be a few gotchas with math (including the one pictured), nothing is strongly typed but types are very important (for instance, you can't loop an object and an array using the same code), and there are a lot of inconsistencies/functions missing. ucwords for instance. Why doesn't that exist? typeof only returns object, but Array.isArray and Object.isObject work fine. I'm going to give typescript a go soon and cross my fingers.

* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...

I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.

And then another one.

Help.

We gave one of our more 'difficult' clients a quote of 30days to rewrite alot of there application. Two hours later we are in a conference call and they have a 'great idea' they will come in for a whole day and share knowledge to speed it up.

For some reason the project manager has decided that it's a good idea for me to be alone in a meeting room all day with 2 people coming in and an 'expert' Skyped in to watch me programming and 'help out'. With all of there knowledge they think it will only take a day...

It's going to be a long Tuesday...

I was going to an interview and they kept me waiting for more than 1 hour without a notice. When the interviewer came, she didn't even apologize and gave me a form to fill out. I left the building and didn't come back. Did I did wrong? What would you do?

2017 was a dream come true literally.Long story short, I quit my job of 6 years as a PE teacher, studied Android Development through Udacity's Nanodegree program, moved my wife and kids out of our house (we were renting), moved in with my in-laws, Trusted God, learned how to build Android apps, applied at numerous tech companies, got offered 2 jobs, got hired as an Android Developer in Tennessee in December making almost more than twice I did as a teacher. My first day of work is January 8th. What a year it's been!

“This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

^^ this couldn't come more handy..

It's thursday, my computer didn't auto reboot due to updates (yaaay) but VS decided to kill my keyboard shortcuts nevertheless... :\

FU VS!!
Wen't to check, it's actually still there (written) ok..

Me: Why won't you work?!
VS: Not tellin..
Me: Dafaq?! Ok, I'll delete you and reset..
VS: Nope, you won't!
Me: Why don't you allow the same shortcut to be assigned?! Why is nothing getting typed in?!
VS: Dunno, to piss you off maybe?
Me: What's wrong with you?!
VS: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🤘 😈😈😹 🤘
Wordpress documentation...
"
Hi all, 😎 welcome to wordpress.
Use it as your last resort. Fuck all programming langs. Php is love, php is life."

Oh by the way documentation also says:
"
Wordpress gives you all the freedom you can imagine. Say for instance... You can use any language for server EXCEPT python, ruby, java, c# and many more.[note: Keep looking for the updated list of EXCEPT as new languages come we add it here.]
"
😂😂😂

Theory: zoomers are actually just boomers who come generationally full circle

Source: I work with clowns in their early 20s and the fact that they are young and were essentially born into tech and had it their whole lives literally has not contributed anything towards their understanding of basic tech concepts - if anything, it has made them more clueless.

The good news: now I know whatever is invented in the future, whatever tech comes to be, the next generation of clowns will always have many jobs to offer me.

I miss devRant YouTube cartoons :(

We will be seing more in the future? Gosh i love watching the rants come to life

take your fucking feelings out of the equation

AND GET OVER IT

feelings don't get market share, features built, or any growth

so shut the hell up and grow up

AND DO YOUR DAMN JOB

you'll be proud devRant, I've finally decided to leave these clowns. updates to come...

only sad part is my rage posting will likely drop to very low levels, but i guess my own well being is a bit more important than devRant karma :) 🤷‍♂️

devRant is so refreshing. my circle runs more in the LinkedIn space, so i naturally get on there more. but every few weeks i come back to devRant and get the pure, honest thoughts of developers and it’s always great

just appreciate the realness on here

Merry Christmas everybody

1. attach a debugger
2. create a set of breakpoints
3. perform an action in the UI
4. breakpoint is hit. F9 to jump to another breakpoint
5.
...
.......
...........
................
....................
nothing............
even more of nothing.....
......................................................
6. Kill the app. Restart. Repeat. Nothing again. Repeat it all ~5 times. Give up.
7. Go get some tea.
8. Come back with a cup of hot tea
9. the _next_ breakpoint is now hit (º . º)
10. F9 - yet another breakpoint is hit.

11. contemplate your own mental state, considering the #6

1. There is nothing in this field that is impossible or out of reach for someone with the correct dedication and perseverance. Even if you suck at a particular topic, I highly believe that you can make sense of it through computer science, be it math, biology physics, finances etc. The field opens the doors to other subjects. This is true for everything else, but I seriously believe that Comp Sci makes it more reachable.

2. You cannot make development a quirky personality trait. There is more to life than just sitting around all day fucking with a computer, but at the same time that is how you hone your skills, find balance!

3. Being attractive and or charismatic in this field pays a lot, but also makes you a target.

4. I have never met more people in my life I wanted to punch to a pulp, and I worked in retail and was in the military....that says a lot.

5. Penises, there are way too many penises in this field. I hate being surrounded by dudes and since I grew up in a nail/hair salon I am more used/enjoy female company more.

6. Stuxnet se la come.

I hate handling DNS issues... every time I try to explain how DNS works, users come back even more confused.

Getting tired of certain co-workers under-delivering. They commit an entire release to one feature and my team plans our release expecting we'll be able to use his changes by the end and then on the last day of development he decides more testing is needed and it won't be finished until next release. Come on, man!

I feel like there are more and more people who only THINK they can program, but in reality they barely can make the “Hello, world” program. Many of them come from all of these “online courses”, I’m not saying that from there come only the bad ones, but many of them are bad programmers, who just think that one or two courses is good enough.
You have to gain experience by doing actual work, not by doing pre-baked exercises. In real life most of things you have to solve with your imagination - Stackoverflow will only provide you some raw draw!

WebDev jobs should come with big warning signs:
"You absolutely will lose your sanity!"
"IE11 might indirectly lead to impotence!"
"You won't get laid more often by using CSS Grid!"
"You will have to fix websites which only appear broken on iOS Safari!"
"Get some extra terabytes ready for your node modules!"
"Get ready to yarnify your npm dockerized webassembly blobs while gulping on your mocha chai latte with no karma!"

Can't we just go back to the good old times with Quick Basic and chill?
Man, the ladies were flocking around those programmer boyz, I tell ya... Klickety klackety on the mechanical

I do love u ranters

.
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.
.
.
.

Whenever I feel like I’m not good enough at my trade, I come here to read a few rants. While I am a failure, it’s so nice to know there are even more disappointing devs around.

I was just waiting for it to happen. The gaslighting charade finally crumbles.

Tldr: was strongly asked to work overtime again for no reason, refused it (weakly, but it is a start).

(Boss isn't actually my boss, just my unofficial lead at the moment.)

1.4 hours after regular work hours:

Me: boss, this issue is still not resolved but I am out of ideas for it. Already shared my last resort idea twice with you but you don't agree to it. If you are available I can meet you for a short call before logging off for the weekend.

.
10 minutes later, just as I am about to log off.
.

Boss: let's meet. The problem implies something wrong with your code. Let's check.

Me: [ugh] okay

.
Boss then rambles on about a juvenile nsfw joke to describe the situation and I force a laugh, we get to the topic. I manage to explain the situation despite the interruptions from him. Then he shares his genius idea. We agree it might work but the implementation will be slightly tricky. It is now 2 hours outside of work hours.
.

Boss: can you try it out and let me know if it works?

Me: sure, I'll try it out on Monday and keep you posted.

Boss: Monday?!! Look, it is getting on my nerves now, this has been going on for too long (false, since the issue is from a day before not a week before and I had asked for help multiple times before today).
I don't even know what big boss is going to be like. This needs to be done.

Me:. ...
[ You manipulative asshole, I'm not doing overtime for you, I owe you nothing and don't give a shit about your senile nerves. Fuck you and your shit codebase and clusterfuck development environment which makes the hairballs in a public toilet look well engineered.]
Look, it is difficult for me too...

Boss: If not now, I can accept weekend. Because I don't know how big boss will take it. You understand right what I'm saying. This needs to be done.

Me: [Fuck off scum chod! Take your acceptance, fuck it hard, and take it away with you! ]
Hmm. Let's see what can be done.
Thanks for your help.

Logged off.

I can't express the tone of his righteous rage in words.
I have never had to face such revolting attitude before from people at work. I just don't get how people can be so ridiculous. The whole team is filled with chodebags of different sizes.

Honestly, i hate math or actually i hate that i suck at it. I graduated CS and if u put a math problem any bit more advanced than basic linear equations i will turn red. I wish i was good at it. I think if i was, id be able to do much more cool shit because combining math and the ability to control a computer basically makes you a demi god.

If i had some free time i’d love to go over the basics on khan academy or something. But free time doesnt come by a lot coz we’re too busy trying to make money and id rather just rest and chill when it does.

Tho if a cute girl offered to tutor me in that free time i’d definitely say yes 🧐

Hmm. I'm sure some of you could come up with more reasons why they wouldn't recommend Windows 10 to a friend lol.

But like for most people there is only two options for OS: Mac or Windows. At this point, everyone has their preference. What do they expect? You and your mates chilling at a bar, and then you bring this up: "Aye fellas fellas. You guys ever use Windows 10? It's freaking awesome man."

So, I was in the middle of a rant about how disorganized maintenance is this weekend, but husband said he might have to go to the ER for a headache that got worse after he passed out in formation and no one caught him.

Suddenly, I don't give a fuck about work. I want to be on a plane to him to be there in case the ibuprofen doesn't work and it's more serious than he thinks. He's less than a week from graduation. I just need him to come home so I can take care of him.

Becoming a High Reputation Stackoverflow Master

Can work like this:
1. Look for questions like "How do I add a value to a list"
2. Post "Use list.Add(x)" faster than any of the 20 expected answers that will be written for this question
3. Become accepted solution
4. Get 100 up votes as more people unaware of API documentation come across your answer

Sometimes answers and questions are so trivial you wonder how this would be upvoted by anyone ever.

Linux is hard to learn and master. That's fine with me. Windows is intuitive, but not user-friendly. Linux has a steep learning curve, but then is far more user-friendly than any other operating system. To me, that steep learning curve was far more than worth it, as I now have a desktop that does whatever I want, and behaves exactly as I want.

People come to Linux hoping that it will be easy to pick up, and then get angry when it isn't. Then they claim that the community is toxic, because Linux users are happy with something they think is broken.

Linux is hard to learn, and that's fine. That's valuable, to me. That's part of the appeal to me(and millions of others). Linux is unforgiving when you lack the knowledge gained in that steep learning curve. That's fine with me too. As its userbase grows, so too does the number of knowledgeable people who work to make it better and invent more amazing things for it.

If Linux was easy to learn, it wouldn't be as good as it is, and to me, that's reason enough to love it.

Ah.. the beauty of clean code.

I wrote a very cleanly written program two years ago. Proper variable names, not too many, right naming, right design pattern,.. Now I come back to it and I am able to instantly figure out the code again. It only took me half a minute.

The importance of clean code... that's something the industry needs to understand more. Well, then there's the money issue. lol

My current project. Won't reveal anything about it until I've got a usable version (which might take more than a month) but it would be a good way to give a middle finger to a big ass surveillance company.

It won't exactly match with their product since this is impossible for me to do as this would compromise user privacy but it'll come close enough!

Playing Minecraft minigames.

It's a pictionary clone. One player draws a secret word while the other players have a minute to guess.

Along the bottom is a hint.

Hint is in "_ _ _ l e" format.

Possible word is apple, for example.

I already win half of the games.

I can win more.

Initiate cheating.

Python script that accepts input in same format as hint and returns a list of results based on the word database.

Any time I come across a new word just add it to the database.

Stopped at 69 words tonight.

Game on.

Dear client:
You have to think this is like building a house, so you have to spend time doing some serious thinking, so you come up with a (somewhat) good vision of what you want and what could possible change in the future... let me give you an example: let's say we were building a house and we are very close to finishing it, so you come up with the great idea of putting the kitchen where the living room is, and the bathroom in the second floor where the TV room was... if that happens, then I would tell you to go fuck yourself.
See dear client... there are pipes, wiring, and all sorts of stuff you don't see, that makes a house be a house... apply the same logic to building software and we'll be on the same page more often.
PS: I appreciate your business

the more time I spend in this industry, the more I come to realize that it's a very blurry line between PROGRAMMING and CONFIGURING.

How much programming do you do these days, really? Isn't it just configuring your frameworks and libraries and engines to do what they do in the way you want?

Does it still make you programmers...?

And then what are these .conf files for your application? A declarative configuration for your... imperative configuration...?

I've talked in past rants about how marketing loves showing off features to customers that are still in Beta to give us devs more pressure to finish them earlier, but it really just ends up screwing up our schedule since we have to push back on other features.

We had warned them not to do so for a series of reasons. But this time, this time their bad practices has come back to bite them in their butts.

They've been bragging all over to customers about this API integration we've been developing. They caught a reasonable amount of customers whose main reason for hopping in with us was this API integration. We finished the code on time, and submitted to the API provider for them to revise our "app". It's been a long back-and-forth conversation clarifying purposes and trying to fix tiny details and, of course, the providers' emails take almost a week to come back. We're waayy past the deadline marketing had promised customers, and they know they can't really blame the devs.

Sucks to lose these customers, but it feels so good to show these marketing pricks a lesson.

Windows you dense motherfucker! Now you come with two different fucking candy crush games and some fucking disney piece of shit botnet useless game consuming an entire GB of precious ssd space?? What the flying fuck i swear i hate this piece of junk more and more every day.
Furthermore, i got my motherboard replaced the other day since it suddenly died and now i cant boot into linux anymore since windows decided it's the only os to live on my laptop? Fuck off

CEO: “Everyone has to come back to the office. No more COVID working from home nonsense. We need to work together in person to be truly effective.”

Everyone: “There aren’t enough offices and desks for everyone.”

CEO: “Oh, also, we’re laying off thousands.”

Everyone: “Well, ok, but there’s still not enough room for everyone to work together in the same spaces.”

CEO: “Ok, contractors can work from home to make room for the remaining full-time employees.”

Me, a contractor:

My computer science class in school is learning c# so slowly that last year it took 3 weeks for them to learn what an integer is.
I learned most of the language on a vacation last year and now I don't show up for class.
and actually, my teacher doesn't mind it, she encourages me about learning more and doing projects.
best teacher I've had so far.

recently the class teacher noticed me when I go home instead of going to class and he made me come to every lesson. Really frustrating.

This little Raspberry Pi is making me come up with tons more projects. Like hooking up a Pi to my motorcycle.

My patience limits are huge but our product manager seems that likes to stretch them.

You piece of fuckin shit. You ask for feature A and we agree on the way we will do it. Good. Half way you want to change it's behavior.
Fine, i accept that. Let's move on.
I'm close to finish it and you come and say let's add more on that feature and make it more complicated. I can't say anything, just fine and let me work on it.
Then you and the senior dev that "helps" us don't come to 2 meetings and just communicate via emails.
And then, then you fuckin scums tell me that is unacceptable that i haven't finished it and it doesn't work?
I used my uni time and missed lessons to work on your shitty feature and that you just yell at me?
What about comming to the fuckin meetings so we can discuss what problems occured and how i can overcome them, you sucker?

Just because our boss complained to you that the product is late because of you, that doesn't give you the right to yell at me, you piece of shit.

And the next time you tell me that you pulled the repository and it doesn't work while it does on everyone else i will come and shove your laptop up to your ass.

Gosh, where went my social life? XD
That's already more than a month that I moved to Nice. I'm working a bit too much I guess. You know, I'm the kind of guy who is gonna rebuild the entire software architecture on his free time because it's crap x)
Anyway Nice is quite relaxing I like this place. And if someone is around and see my face, come and say hi :P

Fuck you sideways stupid ass clowns of HR people.

If you don't want to hire me, it's okay. What is not okay it's to steal several days of my life with your idiotic multi-step interviews, telling me I did awesome and you'd like to hire me as soon as possible, then actively avoid any contact for three whole fucking weeks, just to finally tell me you've chosen someone else with a more prestigious degree but way less actual experience in the field. You'll come to me begging soon and I'll laugh in your faces.

Client stated at the beginning of the project that they wanted a modern, pretty website that essentially had everything on one page.

Okay no problem, design is done and approved, weeks ago.

Today they come in after having the site for THREE WEEKS to review and do they come back with feedback on the functionality of the site? Oh no all they want to know is 'how will the user know that they need to scroll down to see more of the site?'...

Why is it that software has gotten so hardware heavy these days?

I get that some things require more ram, larger screen resolutions and games.

But even calculator apps are now in the hundreds of MB when the entire Microsoft office suite used to come on a couple of floppies.

Is it laziness and relying on ever higher level languages or is there some reason that stuff gets unnecessarily large now.

What else can be asked in Ruby on Rails interview? 😏
Whats your salary as a rails dev? 😏

Ok I'm seriously getting sick of this shit, my new manager wants us to have the fucking 12 hour night shifts from the office for .....no reason??!! for her own fucking entertainment I suppose!

I knew the day would come where my happy times at the new job would be over, my target now is stay 3 more months so I've been there for at least a year then see what happens. fuck me.

Just finished my first programming project and I couldn't be more excited for what's to come in the future 😄 also it's 3:30 and I've got class at 8:35...

The reason I stick around at my current job is thanks to a mentor who has helped me reach greater potential.

He's our senior architect.

It began with him simply bouncing ideas off me. I was a rubber duck basically. After a while I began to understand these ideas. All sorts of design patterns, cache invalidation problems and solutions, and so much more.

It was almost as if through osmosis that I began to research things and learn more and more about topics I had only barely seen in high-level articles and papers.

Once I began to contribute to the discussion, he helped foster that. I went from being a rubber duck to a protege.

My pay here isn't what it should be. The problems we're faced with are stressful and often times wear me out. I stay because I'm self-taught and I yearn for learning as I always have.

This isn't just my job, but my passion. I love what I do, and I get up happy to come here every day knowing I'll learn something new while doing what I love.

Got my first rejection after my first job interview via e-Mail today. It was about a local webhosting company.
I feel a little bit sad about it, but I am glad that I have made this experience with them and hope that I can use this experience to better myself in future job interviews.

What bothers me the most is that they told me in the mail that they are sad to send that rejection mail to a friendly and warm person like me, but they do not give a clean explanation why they had to reject me.
Was it because of someone better than me? Am I not qualified enough? What is the reason ffs?

I have send them a mail back mentioning that I am thankful for the conversation we have had, but also asking for the reason of the rejection.

I do not think that they will reply me back, but I hope they will.

In a forum far far away...
<user> I need help understanding something about this library.
<various users> This is how it works. This is something to consider. Here is a good way to learn all of this. etc Really helpful people.
<user> I would say more about what I want to do, but I don't want to receive any more "mouthful of unsolicited advises ".

Really? You fucking ask a question on a forum about what you want to learn. Everyone there takes it seriously and provides some really golden shit on how to learn the topic. Then you shit on them for daring to provide ways to learn the topic?

I don't know if this is a language barrier, or if they are using Google translate. I have no idea. But they come across as an asshole.

!dev

Been away from here for over a year.

Tried meditation, tried working out, tried eating more #00FF00s.

I'm a super calm person and rarely rant over shit in real life but I learned that really little things can replace ranting over random shit on the internet and having people come here to read just exactly that and relate.

I think I'm back :) <3

I saw a rant about overtime or staying late if your boss is still at the office.

It's the same in a(lmost all i think) Japanese Company.

9:00-18:00 work schedule.

Come in earlier than your boss before actual work schedule.

Go home after your boss after the actual work schedule.

There's no more work to be done and they think you going home early weren't doing enough work and shit.

Good think i left that company.

Well, I got it. The new job that is so from December first I really am a C# developer :)

We just have to agree on the salary. I will at least get more then I have now (as support technician) and well it's kinda a dream come true.

It’s so great to hear Apple is finally officially making the transition to rolling out their own silicon on everything... fucken fabulous. Sure there may be problems at first but this might just get the ball rolling to get more companies todo the same... we need to eliminate the silicon monopolies... ARM and rolling your own is the future... well it always use to be the standard... back in the day, until the whole modularity and lean manufacturing and order off the shelf shit came about .... but finally we have once again come full circle back to where things use to be.... pairing hardware with software fucken beautiful LOVE IT!!!

Sure this will affect portability but .... guess what folks... means more jobs for us... quit being lazy and complaining about having to work..

Love vertical integration!!!!

I've worked in a lot of customer service jobs and the more i have to deal with client, the more story starting to pile up. But something always come back and it's frustrating. The entitlement people have. I work as a Technical Support agent and for the most part i'm actually happy to help people with fixing their problems. But once in a while i always get that idiot that doesn't do anything i told him, blame me because "my fixes" don't work or just straight up don't listen to me and think they know better. Why the fuck do you call me if you need help if you're going to ignore everything i say and act like a fucking children. I'm not the one that call for technical support.

I know this place is more for Dev, but i'm sure those kind of things happen all the time when a client think he know more than the dev themselves...

1. Focus on learning; earning should come secondary
2. If it doesn't add anything to your resume, it's probably not worth picking up
3. Do not re-invent the wheel. Explore third parties and libraries thoroughly. Use them as much as you can.
4. If you stuck at a problem for more than 2-3 hours: post on stackoverflow
5. Plan, create deadlines, and focus as if an executive chose you.
Lazy = failure!

you have an intern working in your company, who came in for 3-4 months internship in September,with a notice in advance that he will take 1 month or more of leaves for exams in Nov-dec.

He reminds you in the beginning of October that he would be going on off due to a lot of college stuff happening on alternate days , starting November.

You and he come up to an agreement that its best to free him from his role in october end and he may join gain when he is done with his college work and could come back fulltime

He works full time in September-October with dedication, leaves with complete reports and submitting his code in November.

NOW DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING RIGHT TO HALT MY SALARY FROM OCTOBER?

YOUR FUCKING HRs HAVE BEEN IGNORING HALF OF MY CALLS AND GIVING LAME EXCUSES IN OTHER HALF.

I WAS NOT A FULL TIME EMPLOYEE YOU ASSHOLES, AND YET I FOLLOWED ALL YOUR STUPID RULES REGARDING NOTICE PERIOD AND STUFF! GIMME MY MONEY :/

I need to be more professional. As such, my sticker phase is beginning to come to a close. Pls don't kill me

Step away from the computer. Sometimes I go and lie on the grass outside the office for ten minutes, and come back with a better idea of what I'm doing. And with a little more energy with which to do it.

just my useless opinion - I don't think bitcoin will every see a big drop

at least, not for ten years

in reality, every bitcoin transaction you make is just a number in the blockchain, just like any other coin. but unlike other coins, bitcoin is #1, has hype in the media, etc.

bitcoin is essentially the name brand of coins. when people think crypocurrency no other name comes to mind.

ethureum, litecoin, dogecoin? nope. nada. null. nil. None. the rate at which bitcoin will increase will become even more astounding. people can now profit of it more and more mining will happen because more people want to buy.

unfortunately I didn't buy it and 5¢, nor $4000, but I don't think we'll see another >$3000 drop for a while.

as the enthusiasm around it decreases, the price will increase at a slower rate, but nevertheless, growing.

my recommendation: buy now. and even if it does go down $2000 after you buy it, it'll probably come back up. so when it's work $110,000 in 2020, I don't think the $2000 will mean as much.

just my two cents.

I'd love to head some other opinions.

We pay 10's of 1000's of $/£ to these companies for support and either they don't get back to us or don't listen to the problem or come up with dumb suggestions. More often than not you get a valid answer on Redit or openstack before the supplier has even understood the problem.

My ISP randomly decided to double my internet speed from 100 mbps to 200 mbps.

I'm kinda interested to see why. Idk if they're gonna do this then snatch it away in a couple months, then come at with an offer for the same speed but more expensive, or what exactly.

We shall see.

I like JavaScript as a language. But I hate absolutely everything around it. All of these tools just make things more difficult. Sometimes when I clone a project I want everything there. I don't want to then wait 30 minutes to download the latest version of every library used, with at least one of them always breaking something. I don't want to have to use npm or grunt or whatever. Just give me the damn thing I need not make me spend 30 minutes running round in circles! Never have these problems in any other language!

Come on WebAssembly!

"come work from the office! we now offer an on-site masseuse with quick massages!"
WTF? No. First of all, the office is in the wrong fucking continent. But let's focus on the bogus "masseuse" crap for now.

We are a 3000+ full-time employees company. If all were to come to the same overpriced pile of fancy rocks at the same 60 hours interval (spread over 5.5 days), it would mean 1.2 minutes per massage per person per week. So to let each person have a single 15 minute massage session per week, there would have to be at least 12.5 masseuses available at all working hours.
Let's say 10 masseuses to account of those people who would not have a weekly session.
Now, let's say each masseuse is a no-strings-attached independant contractor making USD 3000 per year on a 60hour, 5.5 days full-capacity work week without breaks, vacations, benefits or sickdays (European readers may faint, but it is not so uncommon in other parts of the globe).
So this shit costs 30k USD per year.

I would much rather have 10 more USD per year than this useless "look how young and hype we are!" startup horsecrap.

"it would actually be more like 2 USD per year" was the rebuttal to my (way more politely phrased) argument above. "there is the whole overhead costs thing, and, besides, we will only have one masseuse available at a time"
Oh. So besides all the marketing, the whole point is to let a person have like four sessions per year.

Office Perks. Are. Not. Real.

Ever been tasked with a modification, you see the code and think WTF??!!!??

Yes it was me who wrote it, what was I thinking? So I going to have to refactor this rubbish, so I set about tidying it up and realise that this is far more complex than I remember. When I finally get to grips with every aspect of it, I come to the conclusion that actually this is quite clever.

Straight up removed the changes, walked away from the original code and got on with what I was supposed to be doing to start with. Oh well, guess I got to grips with something I had forgotten.

!dev but devRant has become "not dev" sadly.
Time to say bye to the racist kindergarden it has become!

How many more outdated country clichés can they possible come up with? "Thick Indian accent", "hard-working Nazi Germans" bla bla bla ...

If you're not interested in dev anymore why don't you join the European Parliament or a local pub where you can discuss your "ethnic" bullshit with other right-wing retards dreaming of remigration. Fuck you idiots, seriously!

/me logs off.

Smartphone manufacturers these days, imagine how meetings to come up with ideas for new products go about.

Product manager :ok people,what can we do to make our next smartphone 'different'.

Employee 1: let's add more cameras
Employee 2:Let's kill the notch
Employee 3:Let's include the buzzword AI in all of our marketing
Employee 4:Let's put 8Gb of Ram in our phone
Employee 5:Let's just do all of those things and also give it a screen with a ridiculous aspect ratio and unnecessarily high resolution.

Developers that prefer to play the asshole card because it is easier than going through the trouble of acting like a normal person and lose a chunk of their time.

I come across this more and more: if I have a conversation with a random stranger at an event, and we touch upon a new thing that neither one of us knows about or whatever, there is this sudden cut off when one stops the conversation and leaves, rather than staying and keep on exploring the subject and risk of saying something stupid.

Am I just in the wrong place talking to the wrong people?
Or is there some developer budget your time manual that I haven't heard about?

First week in a new job left me wanting to work there more.

No mails from old place. Strange. I've left them just as two completely green guys were to come for the first time.

Well, not my problem.

Last 4 days, struggling to get ship it from a Dev who is reviewing my code.

The comments have already piled up more than the LOC submitted.

The code review consists of just 2 interfaces and a pojo. Hardly 20 LOC in total, excluding javadocs.

I hope it gets ship it soon.
Wish me luck.

So despite being able to do my entire job much more effectively from home, it's been demanded that I go in 2 days a week that "show my face".

Upon getting to the office there's no parking spaces, I go round the carpark again and woohoo there's a space!! Awesome..

I come back a few hours later to work the afternoon from home and find 2 cars double parked behind me..

Both owners seem to be off site currently.......... I guess this is my life now sitting in the car park waiting for people to move their cars 😂

ClientA: We need a minimalist design.

Me, took around 2 weeks to come out a very clean and sleek design with minimal elements.

ClientA reviewed and said: Can I add this and that? I think add in more picture can help to strengthen the credibility. How about......

I'm the only one who keep receiving phishing emails about not existing Netflix subscriptions from evident scam email addresses on a daily basis?
I tend to have more of those than newsletters I never subscribed to.

Come on, man, at least try harder to steal my data or money.

Just love it when the client discloses their requirements in phases. M sitting here with the complete stack waiting for him to come online and fuck me a little more as he discloses the next phase. Client's done this 3 times already. Fuck that asshole.

I can't believe developers are being told to do better when it comes to master/main. Why don't YOU do better and come up with something more worthwhile than this weak shit?

I've come back to devRant after, don't know, 2 years, and I get the feeling that this place is much more... hostile than I remembered.
I understand that this is a place to let out frustrations and vent a bit, or post stories and stuff, but I browsed the comments of a few rants, and I'm surprised at how many times I see friction between users, and insults thrown around.
Maybe I shouldn't have come back here

Come on devRant! I’m getting really annoyed when clicking on rant that has [read more] at the end since it is a gamble to kill this iOS app you have made. Every ~5th click I get app terminated. Then after I reenter the app, I lost where I was. Thats why I ++ all the rants I have read, even those who don’t deserve it :), so I can scroll quickly and see which are not ++’ed.

Met someone recently whose goal with their business is to be an “idea person”. Basically, they’d look at your business, suggest an idea, and it’d be so good you’d pay them for it and go on to the next idea.

Spent the next 15 minutes explaining that

1) Ideas without implementation strategies are cheap (on the order of free if it’s something you can completely express in a sentence or come up with after a superficial observation)

2) You need to bring more to the table than just what other people are already thinking if you want people falli g over themselves to pay you for your thoughts

I think this is interesting and evil at the same time.

You make a huuuuuuuge(like...YUGE level) code base available to a lot of people marketing certain things at an enterprise level and for small companies to use. You make sure people implement a lot of shit with your stack.

Then you tell them that shit will cost money from now on.
And because they might already have a large codebase they can't just change it to whatevs.

Shit is brilliant, moronic and funny at the same time.

Wondering what Gosling is thinking about this whole deal.

If anything this whole thing will make people switch to the excellent OpenJDK platform more and more. I know that starting with Android N google had already moved to the OpenJDK.

Oh well. Wonder if this would make Java developers more vailable and hard to come by cuz I still love the Java programming language and like the monies.

And know I have no soul.

!(isRant(thisPost));

Submitted my third pull request today in just a couple months as an intern, got told I'm doing a great job and already being considered to move to a more in depth dev team. Honestly a dream come true. Great company, great people, and I have a solid shot at a REAL full time dev position after college. I'm so happy man all that work finally paying off.

I was sick the entire week, told my boss about it. I was really enthusiastic about the work and also didn't want to let other people down, so I went, even though I didn't have to.
Today this asshole screams at me for being late and goes on about the broken trust between us etc.
This motherfucker. I showed up, for a whole week, in pain, despite not having to do so. I had to punch the bathroom walls for ten minutes in order to get rid of all the anger.

TL;DR:
Never do more than required, it will absolutely come back to hit you.

Just had to debug a piece of code for the 5th time today and I'm starting to lose my mind. Why do programmers insist on using single-letter variable names?! Is it really that hard to come up with something more descriptive? I mean, I get it, "x" is easy to type, but so is "counter" or "iterations". Does anyone else feel like they're just constantly fighting a losing battle against the entropy of poorly written code?

Frustration at its peak !!

So the CTO of the company I recently joined, whom I considered to be cool personality of all the open culture in the office and open communication, seems to be all wrong.

Few days back he suddenly dropped a mail to all the tech team members mentioning that we need more streamlined process in the company and many more blah blah stuffs... to which all of us agreed.

But. But. But. The last line(small font size) mentioning that from now onwards we need to come on Saturdays too until further notice. I mean WTF !!? Seriously.

But today in stand-up when one of the guy asked the agenda, he just tossed the question saying that we need to be more active attending "client tickets". Goddammit. We are devs, not tech support.
To this one of the other dev, said the exact same thing that was going in everyone's mind. Call the team that are required on Saturdays. To which his reply was, " Come on Saturday, we will speak then".

I was like 👏👏👏

P.S. Not that we are not ready to come on Saturdays, but at least take consent of all the members in the team, if you all babble so much about open culture and shit. We have friends and family too to have fun with, and need to take little rest on weekends.
And most importantly, tell us some firm reasons to be there on weekends, not just "You have to come, because we said so!"
Period.

"If it were easy to nut out tricky design problems, I might be out of a job. But it’s also true that the cleverness in most lateral design doesn’t come from blindly grinding away at the same concept. When you’re dealing with ideas, it’s rarely a matter of simply putting in more time working. Five minutes can be much more fruitful than five hours." - Rob Morris

This duck has come in handy more than I care to admit

Being lazy taught me more about (code) automation that years of study ever did.

“Ugh! Updating translations is boring, why do I have to do this manually?”

“Damn I really hate having to remember endpoints”

“Oh, come on! Its the third time I initialise this the same way!”

I’d love to say this is a motivational speech or something but no, im just lazy lol

A friend of mine is youtuber and he does a lot tests on phone ( call him X)
Another friend of mine hates Apple product. Partly because he can’t afford it (call him Y)

whenever X wants to do a WATER RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a HEAT RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a DROP TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”

One fine day, same happened and X got a bit red. X says: Y come here. Closer, a little more ( few centimeters away now). “Are you fucking mad or what?”

I am starting to get more and more ticked off when I google a language's function name, and the first result isn't the official documentation.

Come on, I don't care about some stupid article describing how a function works in 10 paragraphs, with modal windows all over the place annoying me about "subscribing to newsletter", cookies, registrations and so on.

I just need to find the stupid function description!

I just finished my last day at my toxic office that is falling to pieces.

Oh that's such a relief off my shoulders now.

On to bigger, better, and much more enjoyable things come Monday morning!!!

Nope,

Far too in love with myself to have any sort of insecurities.

Not that there is anything wrong with having them, we are all different. I just believe that insecurities come from giving other people far too much power over ourselves. And I just couldn't care less what people say about me, as long as it IS about me. See?

The more confidence you project the more attention you will get, be it good or bad, it doesn't matter since it is the only way to go up in your workplace. Having a personality besides "ZOmG cOde Is LiFE" really goes a long way also.

So yall cheer the fuck up, its just code.

So...
After about a month and a half of lots of interviews with 2 different companys, BOTH of them offered me a job last night.

One is a big digital agency in my country (~2000 employees) the other one is a smaller development firm (~200 employees).

It feels sad to have to deny the smaller one but the bigger one is a dream job for me due to the fact that thet focus a lot more on new tech compared to the smaller one.

But i have never been happier in my life!
It is a dream come true!

Set some dev goals..

TLDR: spend less time at work coding

No, really..for what I do at work, I am happy. Would like to learn more recent stuff (partially stuck with vb.net), but I don't even know where to start googling.. sooo... get more free time I guess to figure this out..which is a dev goal on it's own too, come to think of it, this translates as don't spend so much time at work coding.. and spend some of it learning new (dev related) things outside of work..new/different js frameworks, python (been fixing/adding some code here & there, but never learned it properly & to check it's full potential, I heard it is awesome btw), read up on algorithm time costs (learn how to fuckin spell this!!)...

And kinda dev related as I will have to spend less time at work is to get back in 'sort of' shape and climb (more)..and spend more quality time with my husband, who is too good, totally supports me & my work, so I never get to hear him nag I was working late, which leads to 'stop working so long' goal I rly need to get in order or I'll burn out again, and I'm bitchy and horrible whe BO..and we don't wanna see that again..

Sum up: work less, learn new things, climb more, be happy/content.

Best hack in prod?

My Computer Science teacher.
More details to come...

I come into the office today and a new guy is sitting at my desk. alright, I introduce myself and explain this is my desk (btw I work in an office where some workers share a desk, me being the most senior tech the desk is reserved for me) and he gives me a dirty look, gets up, and doesn't say anything. could you be more of an asshole?
has this ever happened to anyone else ?

The number of scripters and 'data scientists' that call themselves developers will increase, the true art of development will become sidelined and the world's code will become progressively more bloated and inefficient as the rift between hardware and software widens to an echoey chasm.

Then quantum processors will come along, requiring new logic, languages and practices, and once again the true developers will rise up and pave the way for a bunch of entitled, know-it-all and self-promoting QuarkaScripters to come along decades later and pretend like they invented programming.

yesterday I had to use a Windows VM.

Took me less than 5 minutes to remember why I'm no longer using it.

- I'm doing nothing; CPU is at 100%
- Laggy AF
- Windows Updates not only download, but also install themselves and restart my OS automatically
- right after restart it starts downloading and installing another set of updates (restarted my PC while I was away, I come back - all my work is gone. And this dumbass Windows has a popup "I want to install more updates. When should I restart?")

ooohhh the horrors

What do you think about my language choice set for the future (knowing I want to work as a software and app developer) ? Anything to add / remove ?

- C++: Fast and well-documented, so I think it's a standard even in the next decades to come

- Java: Although I think that this language will more likely die in the next decade, I'll maybe keep this language because some dinosaurs enterprises still rely on it. Ah and mainly because it's still widely used in Android apps programming. For now.

Talking about Android, does learning Kotlin worth it ?

- Python: Will mainly use it for automation and prototyping, but nothing more, as it seems not to be widely use in the software development field (or it is ?). I'll also keep it for hobbies, however.

- Rust: This language seems to be a rising star in the industry since it is very clean, classic, as fast as C / C++ while introducing more safety. However I'll wait a bit for this one since it requires more complicated and abstract knowledge I do not have yet.

- Javascript (or more particularly JSX): Hurts to say I'll keep it, even more than Java. I'd let it in the web development hell I won't step in if it was not used in webapps / cross-platform mobile applications. And since this kind of stuff looks trendy, I don't think I can avoid it. Plus, I liked working with React Native. Sorry.

- C#: Seems to be a must when working on Windows software interfaces, so guess I'll have to learn this one. Will do so gladly, it looks better than Java

Fuck Java because java is one of the worst first languages you could pick. In the following I’ll highlight two main issues. One issue, the complexity of Java, will make life more difficult for you immediately, and the other, the danger of developing myopia regarding programming languages and their capabilities, has the potential to hurt you for many years to come and possibly your entire career

Just launched a successful deployment today. Took 4 months to build everything. It's probably not a big deal but I'm just really happy today that everything worked right away, and almost no deployment hiccups at all.

Only one issue popped up, but come to find out it's a particular thing about the Prod environment and nothing to do with my code.

Gonna go celebrate now, before more work comes in. (hey, can you refactor this for me?)

Life Update 6th June '24:

Naps are a thing now. I need more of those. I need all the naps. I'll come over to your house and steal your naps if I have to. I can't seem to get enough,

MORE NAPS !!!!!!

Come on guys, I want to gather deadly One-Liner for Linuxsystems. Maybe someone has some more creative ways than the standard ones below.

1. rm -rf / —no-preserves-root
2. echo . > /dev/sda
(3). :(){ :|: & };:
4. mv / /dev/null

To anyone sufferring/going to suffer from kidney stones, here's a golden rule what to do when the episode kicks in [the sooner you start - the better]: 2 pills of no-spa, 1 tablet of painkillers [ibuprofen/dolmen]. As soon as no-spa kicks in and relaxes your spasm -- become a fucking breakdancer. I shit you not. Start bending, spinning, jumping, swimming like a fucking hurricane. The more you move, the better chances are you'll make that lump of rock move down the pipes and unclog your drainage.

Did it this week. Did not need to come back to the ER.

This was my 5th stone. Many more to come [Pending...].

I don't understand why do they make us lay in bed in the hospital if we have kidney stones. They should pump us with no-spa and make us do gymnastics, acrobatics and brakedancing instead!

After 3 years of postponed delivery dates and enduring a crappy internet connection the result is close enough to touch. 1 Week until I get a solid internet connection and can join the rest of modern society.

100Mbps internet here I come!

More updates to come with undoubtably more frustration!

What's a good hobby project for learning React Native? I come from MEAN and C#/Java.

Just realized I haven't done much coding outside of work recently.... need to get more up to date.

Also correct me if I'm rwrong but it's like Cordova and Electron right? Code is JS and CSS, run everywhere as a native app?

Hi there, First “rant” here, although it’s more of a question.

I have been working on a side project for some time and it has come to the point where I feel it might be prudent to protect my work with a patent or something similar.

The project in question is a multiplayer browser based game. The code is currently open source, but that can always change.

Given this is software people use rather than a service that developers might build off of, is copyright more appropriate than creative commons?

Based in the US if you can't tell and I'm above the age of majority luckily.

Thanks for any advice!

I decided to run the ROCKYOU password list to see if there are any patterns in md5 hashing, not sure why but I am starting to confuse myself and I need a new pair of eyes to have a look.

in advance, sorry for the shitty image, that lappy is a temporary solution.

So the very accurate and not bias numbers show that the letter "0" appears more than the rest, would there be any use in let's say ordering the wordlist with words that have the most "0" and "7" in their hash to appear at the top?

I believe I might be trying to stretch the numbers and see a pattern where there is none but its worth a shot I think.

Note:
- These numbers come from only about ~14m words

My thinking trail is that if statisticaly these hashes are more likely to appear, they are more likely to be the one I am looking for?

Windows users be like "Oh, it's fine. Our tent comfortably fits all my family and it's cold there for only half a year, but not too cold, just wear a coat while you're inside and you'll be fine. Clean water is only two miles away, walking is healthy after all. Yes, agents come every week and rape my wife but it only happens to newbs and honestly I respect that ritual, this is how life works. You only have to send three papers to them to ask them please not to rape us this week and they don't come for a whole week! I ain't stupid, I always carry my gun with me to shoot thugs"

Living with MacOS is just living. You pay the fee and they let you in.

Living with Linux can be just living too, but it can be much more, your skill and willingness to learn are always rewarded. I've been there, I used Arch.

But living with windows is always survival.

Ok.... why doesn't this come in an ISO... or a more straightforward downloader.... WTF!

I just want core and maybe C++.... and it's for a future install.... I have 2015... not gonna upgrade til I have to upgrade Windows or get a new PC... Was just planning to save it on my external HDD...

The thing that I hate more is when I want to pay something but I can't, because of system or technical problems. Do you imagine how much money are you losing? It's your interest, you should make everything possible to earn money, I can't flip out only to make you happy. Come on bro. I wanted to buy a thing, the website has a mobile version but in the mobile website I can't use credit card. And if I set the desktop version, the website identify the resolution of screen and it redirects me in the mobile version as well. Are you kidding me?

1. React and all subsequent Facebook endeavors die
2. Be able to completely understand all code I come across
3. More dev wishes

Why are companies so biased against employees those who come late and work late as compared to those who come early and leave early?

Why is it okay to leave early but not so much to come late instead?

After some of us ignored repeated warnings, we've been told that anyone come after 10:30am will be marked half day absent.

So, if they do so, I'll sit there in office playing Fifa or Table Tennis, and not work until the second half starts xD

The reason for such biasness is that the daily stand-up is at 10:30, even though more people wanted it to be after 11. They even took a vote. And yet it was ignored (funnily initially more ppl voted for 11 initially and somehow some of the votes changed for in favor of 10am... Now slowly, because half the team wouldn't be on time, it's shifted to 10:30am.

And funnily, I'm already serving notice period in this company.

Who says that no one is still waiting for traditional mails? ;) Thanks from Italy @dfox ! I don't know how many devs from my country are here but you are more than welcome to come! :D

Always fun to come back to an older project to update stuff only to find your IDE and SDK updates have broke your old code base and you now need to debug and update a lot more then you initially wanted to. 😣

I don't want to start any wars in the comments, but what do you devs prefer: iOS or Android?

I'm not saying one is better. I'm just genuinely curious what other devs use. I prefer to use Android because I can do more with my phone.

I'm actually curious what most of you use, so feel free to tag other ranters you know in the comments. I've already commented the few I could come up with off the top of my head.

Did a presentation to the brass with data so summarized that no informed decision could conceivably come out of it.
They want it even more summarized.
Here is your messy-suit-that-cost-50-grand, version, your overpaid tool:
1) Client be dumb
2) Supplier be slow
3) Money be good
4) We be smart
5) We make money (if you stop meddling and eating my whole morning with a PowerPoint to a meeting you got an hour late to, your fiduciary sack of douchness)

Why yes Nvidia drivers, I did want you to bluescreen my thinkpad on its dock while I'm in the middle of two different deadlines! I swear this fucking dock causes more fucking issues than I've ever seen. I come back to my computer, wake it up, and wait for my external displays to turn on... And wait... And wait... And bluescreen! This shit happens at least twice a week.

It’s so crazy to me how my bosses sometimes wake up and it’s like they get in a groupthink that we are stuck on technology from five years ago. The company has grown our paths have simplified, our tools have gotten more powerful.

Everybody forgets that a new feature has come out occasionally, but sometimes for weeks at a time they will go about explaining things the old way, or saying it can’t be done. Then they’ll come back around. This has been on and off for all of this year basically.

Question:
Do we have any Ingress players around here? What do you think about the upcoming Ingress Prime? I am somehow excited, but only because I just decided to upgrade my mobile phone some days ago 😉 Now the graphics boost can come. 😁 And I really hope that Niantic does not fuck up everything when they plan to be more entry level friendly in the future.

Resistance FTW!

Best boss ever. He gave me light working hours, i could ask for a day off whenever i wanted or leave early if i needed to. Never felt like a slave working for him and always felt respected and valued. Taught me basically most of what i know today and introduced me to some awesome games. Never bored me with formal speech. Come to think of it hes more of a friend. If the company was doing a bit better financially i would never had left. Obviously i dont expect to ever have a boss as good as him in the years to come.

I just said "bye" to all my Whatsapp groups, and finally got rid of that service ! (meaning deleting my account as well, not just uninstalling the app).
It's so hard to make people understand what is happening and what I think about security/privacy... Guess I'll have to wait for people to finally come to Signal or Keybase if they want to reach me more efficiently :)

Feeling !@~!#@!@# when you come to know that you are not invited to meeting where architectural design is being discussed....and you will be the implementor for the sh*t stuff....

Its more p*ss*ng when you know the architect you work with doesn't know anything...and you need to impl and support it :(

I see a lot of awesome "I got the internship! 🙂🙂🙂" Or "I got the job! 😆😆😆" which makes me super happy and I wanted to be one of those people that got to celebrate on DevRant someday :)

Unfortunately, I was just one slot away from being selected from the internship I really wanted this summer (4th out of 50. 3 positions). But I'm not going to get my hopes up. Gonna interview next year, complete some more side projects, learn more languages, and come back as a better developer 😎😎😎

Let's all flock to facebook's (I'm sorry, META's) latest application, forgetting all the trouble they've had about privacy breaches and the selling of customer data and other shady shit.

Sounds like a wonderful idea.

And give that company even more of a monopoly over the internet. Communication? Whatsapp and facebook messgenger. Social Networks? Facebook and Instagram.

I understand not giving a shit if you do not have a background in tech but come on. Learn to live without twitter you internet addicted dumb fucks

What do you guys wear to work? I usually go to work in jeans and T-shirt. And I grow a mustache and beard. But my cousin is suggesting me to do clean shave and wear formals to work everyday. He says that it'll make a good impression in the workplace, like I take work seriously.

I do get his point because I automatically give more respect to people who come to office in formals. But I don't feel comfortable working in formals. Moreover my workplace is very casual and my manager, TL, VP all wear jeans (even torn) and tee.

I've probably spent more time on refactoring than on actual coding with this personal project. The problem is, ideas come to me while developing, and that means I have to go back and change things every time. Is that normal or is there a better way?

Well i see those as two separate problems. To focus get a pot of coffee, put headphones on loud enough to tune out any outside noise, and lock the door. As for procrastination lean into the damn skid, go find something you like to do and come back later. The longer you fight it the more unproductive time you're going to have, and in my experience i get more done in 3 productive hours than i do in 8 unproductive hours

My burnt out mind has come up with a great argument in favor of procrastination.
If I try to convince it that the work will take few minutes, it would simply reply, "Sure, but after that there is more"

I feel that people give more importance to good portfolios and projects rather than college degrees in this day and age. I've come across many professionals (in different fields) who are self taught and who I feel have a deeper understanding that others who have degrees or Ph.D s. Does one still necessarily need to go to uni to get employed?

The moment of decision whether to hardcode something or keep it dynamic ...cause knowing your clients ...they're definately gonna come back with more requirements

After years of experience in the industry, I find that I have 1000% more skills and 2000% more knowledge.

I have come to the realization that I need to do 500% less things and demonstrate 1000% less knowledge.

2022, Lex Lexter, a collection of wisdom

To me, the single biggest coding distraction is other coding, i.e. When there are more things to work on than there are developers and priority changes on a whim. My runner's up would be people who come to you directly for non-urgent matters disregarding that you're busy. The third would be meetings, but I consider meetings to be a necessary evil. Almost nothing is worse than too little communication and the resulting mismatch in expectations.

I'm getting more and more fed up with my fellow colleagues who encounter errors in the execution of their code and come to me like bumbling idiots..." I don't know ow what's wrong ... It's not working"

DID YOU READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE? I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT...EVEN IF ITS NOT 100% CLEAR GOOGLE IT. BET YOU FIND THE ANSWER

To add insult to idiocracy...I recently over heard grumblings of being displeased at current level - fuck off you lazy ass child - if you can't read an error and Google for the damned solution in today's era search engines and developer assistance, you don't deserve to call yourself a "Senior Developer"

People like to act like there's some great secret to becoming a competent developer...I'm posit over half is simple reading comprehension

Gentle note to aspiring devs, that SO is not hacked. It just their new 90's theme design (More to come).

Search for history icon beside search bar to toggle to normal(Modern) view. Stop Panicking!

rant or !rant
Hey ranters have you checked podcast of devRant on Youtube. It's great.
All dev of this great community please subscribe to devRantApp on YouTube and increase it's views. While I'm ranting about it has only 1.2k views and 51 likes. Please check that out.

@dfox and @trogus Just listened to a podcast of devRant featuring Andy Hunt "Author of the Pragmatic Programmer".
My favorite line he said is " In effort to evaluate betn mediocre programmer from great programmer certification available is pathetic, this is why Alien don't come to visit us anymore".
He also talks about RubberDuck and many more.

How did you learn to think "like a programmer"?

I am starting to learn C++ and I am trying it out on exercism. I am really at the beggining but when I make it work after so much frustration(based on devrant posts I guess that's part of the job) I always see people having shorter/better/more effective codes which makes sense to me but I wouldn't thought of it that way.

Is there way to make such thinking better or does it simply come with practice ?

Okay, going to delve into the world of C game programming. I come from a JS/React background and wondering where to start. I did a C project back in uni so I know some foundations.

Idea is a 4x space game with simple 2d shapes representing ships, inspired by an old game I can't remember the name of (anybody?)

Firstly, I am thinking Allegro as the lib, it seems to be more maintained than SDL. Does that seem good? Though not sure where to start, or any tutorials for someone who is scratchy with C.

Any advice on how to structure my code?

I like the idea of entity component system, is that sensible?

Cheers for any help

Not university. I hate the whole stigma behind university and that the only way to have a successful career is by getting a degree. I started learning myself by just googling stuff when i was 11 and was more interested in it when i grew older and was about 15 when i started watching a lot of YouTube tutorials, reading online articles and made a GitHub account. The best way to learn is by having passion for it, knowledge will come itself as long as you're determined to achieve.

As much as I enjoy working with Magento 2, (No really, I actually do) the amount of times I come across a bug that is reported on GitHub and labelled as 'Fixed in 2.2' or 'Fixed in 2.3' without any commit reference or backport to 2.1 is pretty infuriating. Upgrading to 2.2 would probably break many more things than it would fix, too.

- Eclipse (especially when plugged in with any SCM, excluding Che)
- RichFaces / PrimeFaces (from the pre SPA era)
- WebLogic (how many times do you need to be restarted in a day? )
- SOAP (not a dev technology, but even as a protocol. Thank You Microsoft !!!)
- Struts (what were you doing at the same time as Spring ??? )
- GWT (how did this even find its place inside Google? )

Need more time a deeper retrospective of each dev tech I've come across :(

Do you know the feeling when you create a project, work on it for a few months, realize that it could be done better so you rethink and rewrite it, then after half a year you think that it's not good enough once again so you recreate it from scratch once more, then you get bored and leave the project for like 2 years and when you want to come back you see how bad the code is so you do one more rewrite? Well I do.
"Coming soon" since 2013! Starts to look good tho.

I'm on a remote contract (has no centraloffice at our company) and was hired to work remote.

New PM wants to reenergize culture. Everyone has to come in and no more flexible hours. Lack of space means no more dual monitors. Lack of desks means we push desks together to form a "conference table." More people working means slower internet. Three people have separate meetings? Someone can stay, someone can sit in reception, and someone is in the hall.

But hey... we can see each other now and we're all available to one another.

!rant
Landed my first dev job today!!
Couldn't be more proud of myself and at the same time more terrified of what to come.

We haven't been able to come up with a solution for a simple problem while emailing and texting over the last 30 minutes, after hours, but let me waste more of your time talking to you on the phone about what we've been emailing and texting.