Me: *programming*

Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*

Me: *programming*

Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."

Me: "What, that's stupid."

Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"

Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."

Me: *programming*

Team: *doing absolutly nothing*

Me: "I fixed it!"

Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"

Me: "You didn't ask..."

And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.

At Google headquarters:

"Today seems to be a bright day"
*Angular 5 is out*

"Sir, I need to change something small, shall I do a pull?"
*Angular 6 is out*

"It's Pichai's birthday today!"
*Angular 7 is out*

"Wussup"
*Angular 8 is out*

Got caught using linux terminal by school security. They took my laptop away and drove me across campus in their security carts to take me to the office.

It took a long time to explain that I wasn't maliciously hacking the school.

This is the third time I've been in trouble for tech-related activity.

On the bright side, one of the security guards said, "I'm done dealing with teenagers. Next time I won't work for a high school."

I think he's going to quit. :)

So my manager (a 29 y/o, who hardly can use a mac) walks towards me with a hint of panic in his eyes.

Manager: Hey commander keen, do you know how to use vertical look up in excel, I've tried, and looked at tutorials.

Me: yeah I really don't know excel (and not willing to learn, especially on the fly), I don't even have excel installed, I can write I script that does what you want.

Manager: No you have enough on your plate

3 hours later

Manager: hey I still can't figure it out, could you solve it with a script, won't that take to long

Me: no send me the files, Ill do it with a script.

I start writing 2 for loops and wait for the file, 10 ish minutes later its basicly done, just need to put in the column indexes.

I send a message on both slack channels (hey are you going to email or slack me the file)

After a hour I walk to his desk and again ask him for the file.

Manager a good 2 hours later on slack: Hey I just send you the file, I hope its not to much work, it has to happen asap.

So if you have kids, and they are not that bright by some kind of birth defect, don't worry, they can always become a manager.

But you can't get me down today. I hit 2000 upvotes and the employer is unknowingly a proud sponsor for reading and writing all these rants and comments :-) thnx devrant

Was letting my five year old cousin play on my laptop today. She was writing numbers in notepad, and after typing '123', she erased them because she wanted to start over from 0 instead.

Later she started typing 1 and 0 repeatedly in random sequence.

She may be a robot. Either way, I sense a bright future ahead for her.

Coding Etiquette 101:

TURN THAT FUCKING DARK THEME ON!!!

Our current designer is convinced that 00FF44 bright green fits well with the rest of our soft purple/blue color scheme.

I am not a designer, but have worked in a color laboratory, so I've tried time and time again to explain CIE LAB color space, and how at least HCL is a good way to pick & group colors into palettes by using 2-3 luminances for equidistant hues while keeping chroma constant.

I've tried to tell him that the bright green almost physically makes my eyes bleed, because humans are quite sensitive to greens.

He just keeps using the phrase "but it makes the buttons pop nicely".

I just want to pop his skull open with my keyboard. 😫

Who the **** mixes bright and dark themes. Never talk to me or my son again, I Fliffr

User: *Clicks on staging environment*

Giant Warning Dialog: YOU ARE CURRENTLY ENTERING THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT

Users: Ok

App: *Completely different colour, I’m talking bright unsightly yellow*

User: Ok

Giant Yellow and Red Flashing Banner at the Top of the Screen: WARNING YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING STAGING, THIS AREA IS FOR TESTING ONLY

User: The production environment sure is acting strange today. It’s a weird colour and I don’t recognize any of the data, it’s all just dummy filler data. I better create a ticket for the dev team to check o—….. no wait I’ll send an email CC everyone including the CEO and sound the alarm production is currently down and filled with giant warning messages.

Manager: OH MY GOD PRODUCTION IS DOWN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE WARNING MESSAGES BE THAT’S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON STAGING! THE CEO IS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

Dev: …

How to present your app/library more positively:
It's slow and bulky -> "It's feature-rich"
It hardly does anything -> "It's lightweight"
It has no comments -> "It's self-documenting"

> be me
> last hour in office
> trying to figure out solution
> figured out a plausible solution
> write the code
> power outage before I compile

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well, on the bright side I committed it locally...

It's such a lovely day, sun is shining, think I'll sit outside with my laptop and a beer and continue working on personal project.

(...goes outside)

It's too bright, can't see shit, plus working on two screens is easier

(goes back inside)

My friend had the bright idea of making a version of bubble sort that plays a quacking sound effect on every swap. I added in different variations of the same sound effect for various conditions.

We named it "Quacksort," and one of the professors asked us to present it to the intro class.

My career has reached its peak.

Let's hope Slack releases this dark theme soon.

Sun is shining too bright. I had to switch to a light theme 😭

When I was in high school, the IT had the bright idea to use the same username/password for each machine in our site, and there was this jerk who knowing this, would occasionally SSH into the computers of the other classmates and wget porn mp4s to their home directory to embarrass them, as some sort of weird-ass prank.

So, in order to give him a lesson, I one day had logged in and set a rule on the class' router to forward all port 22 traffic back to his own IP address, and had SSHed into his machine, aliasing wget with a full-screen kiosk mode chrome, followed by a force disable of the USB HID devices.

It might have been less awkward and he might have seen less scared, if it wasn't for the fact that I had also remotely set his machine to maximum volume, and the teacher wasn't in the middle of a lecture. 😏

To this date, his expression is the most precious reaction I have ever seen.

There once was a bright young engineer who was hired by a company to design their new light ship.
Like 50 seconds after getting inside the company, the engineer was approached by a douchebag in a business suite.
"Hey, can you make us a mock up of the ship's design in the next hour or so? Nothing fancy, it must be very simple! To not overcomplicate it! Just a simple mock up so we can all see what are we talking about in this project! Please do not overthink this!"
The engineer, young and naive, just folded some piece of paper and gave the douchebag a paper boat.
"Fantastic! That's all we need for the presentation for the investors!"
A couple hours later the suite was back screaming.
"YOUR FUCKING FARSE! YOUR SHITTY SHIP EMBARRASED US ALL! THE VERY MOMENT OUR CEO TRIED TO STEP ON IT IT SANK! YOU ARE FIRED AND WE WILL SUE YOU FOR INCOMPETENCE! I ASKED YOU SOMETHING SIMPLE AND YOU CAME UP WITH THIS OVER ENGINEERED PIECE OF CRAP, YOU SON OF A.. [many, maaany expletives suppressed for brevity sake]"

This is how I feel everytime someone asks for "a tiny change" or some "very simple solution".
If it was so simple that it could be done in such short notice, than why the fuck do it at all, instead of buying it? I heard people sell all sorts of things in the internet nowadays. Software fucking included.

Man I love Sweden. 3am here now. You never get tired because it's always bright outside 👌

App has dark theme. Loading screen is bright white. RIP my eyes

PM finds my prized stress ball and draws a face on it. When asked why she said "it looked depressed".

THATS THE LOGO YOU DUMB BITCH. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY SHIT

On the bright side... Good thing I have this stress ball to relieve my anger 😒

how anybody could use a light theme is beyond me

it's like staring into the suns butthole

I was totally in the zone earlier.

Plenty of caffeine, plenty of anger thanks to idiots, rocking out to Amon Amarth and Disturbed, and chewing through a difficult logic problem. It was wonderful.

Then.

Then there was a mandatory all-hands meeting. A mandatory meeting entirely consisting of someone doing a (admittedly decent) presentation on very basic marketing. (Basic as in "This is what ROI is." 🙄) It lasted for about 40 minutes, totally killing my zone and butchering my productivity. I've barely gotten anything done the rest of the day, thanks to that.

On the bright side, I worked out the logic on stickies during the talky-people bits. Maybe I'll be able to write it tomorrow.

My first testing job in the industry. Quite the rollercoaster.

I had found this neat little online service with a community. I signed up an account and participated. I sent in a lot of bug reports. One of the community supervisors sent me a message that most things in FogBugz had my username all over it.

After a year, I got cocky and decided to try SQL injection. In a production environment. What can I say. I was young, not bright, and overly curious. Never malicious, never damaged data or exposed sensitive data or bork services.

I reported it.

Not long after, I got phone calls. I was pretty sure I was getting charged with something.

I was offered a job.

Three months into the job, they asked if I wanted to do Python and work with the automators. I said I don't know what that is but sure.

They hired me a private instructor for a week to learn the basics, then flew me to the other side of the world for two weeks to work directly with the automation team to learn how they do it.

It was a pretty exciting era in my life and my dream job.

Guess what my supervisor had lying around the house and gave me? (from an old company project) My desk is gonna shine bright like a diamond. Yes, it's RGB.

I quit my job today.
It was odd and uncomfortable and emotional and I'm gonna miss many of the nice people here but ultimately my boss was like "I always knew a bright mind like yours would only be here temporarily" 🥺😍 I'm starting somewhere cooler soon and I'm so excited!

Haha!!

The dude complaining about the bright IDE theme... It's totally me 😂

Got annoyed by the super bright default theme of the Arduino IDE. Decided to make a dark theme for it! Turned out pretty well!

Unfortunately there is no official way of themeing right now, therefore I had to edit some files in the program's directory, which was a pain in the ass to do... (and kinda scary)

I tried to adapt the Material Theme in Sublime Text btw.

Here's a comparison:

We passed a milestone: 250,000 phpunit testcases.

If it weren't for a heavily parallelized build pipeline which splits it out over 20 servers, it would take about 7.5 hours to complete.

Not hating on PHP, and without tests it would truly be hell...

But still, fucking hell, we outgrew PHP.

Not having a solid type system just means you either accept more bugs, or write thousands of unit tests to guard all the foundational cracks in the system.

On the bright side, I get a coffee break after every commit 😄

I haven't checked my work email in a month or two.
We use slack, so every time someone needs me they just message me there or text me. It works nicely. I also dislike email in general.

Anyway: I looked at my inbox this morning, and again just now. I've gotten just over 900 emails today.

Why?
Tons of useless alerts on a shoddy as hell codebase. As an example: Every time a coworker uses a tool or lookup with a sub-par query, it ties up the single shared database long enough to generate response time alerts.
As a better example, there are many many many informational alerts that intentionally begin with "500 Internal" specifically to trigger an email alert. Why? I guess they were useful at some point?

There's just so much to fix...
And I guess I don't care enough.

On the bright side: this gives me a great reason to ignore my email!

sad but reality

tiktokers create cring content and earn lots of money.

open source contributors create technology which is maintaining world but earn far less.

how can we expect bright future?

!rant
So I just lost my girlfriend she tought she wasn't worth it to me. On the bright side, more time for coding!

I haven't attempted any dating yet but I have attempted staying in touch with girls and this has failed big time. Not due to coding but due to me not using social media (especially Facebook and Instagram) and also - this is a huge deal in the Netherlands - not using WhatsApp.

The second girls hear/notice/discover that when exchanging information, it's shut off right away. (Or, this has been my experience)

On the bright side, I might find a very good match this way and I'm at least holding on to my principles/values :)

It's dark. It's pitch black. It's scary. You go '000000....'
Someone shines a bright spotlight on your face. You go 'FFFFFF.....'

I ran out of instant noodles and had to go out to buy some, and literally the first thought that came to my mind was "Why the fuck is the sun so bright"

No, seriously, why does it feel so bright

One of the people I supervise is “Mary,” a woman in her early 20s. Every time she gets critical feedback (even very mild and accompanied by praise), she turns bright red and starts crying … like, a lot. Tears streaming down her face. Other than that, though, she responds calmly and rationally. She carries a handkerchief and just mops up the tears and continues the conversation. One of the first times this happened, I asked if she was okay, and she said that it’s “just a physical response to stress” and confided that she’s getting cognitive behavioral therapy to learn to control it. Honestly, I think she’s handling the whole thing with a lot of professionalism and maturity.

I am her direct supervisor, but she also reports to two of my (male) colleagues, one of whom is a VP in my company. I recently overheard them talking about Mary, saying that her crying is uncomfortable, unprofessional, and “stupid.” Mary is a great employee, and I want to do whatever I can to protect her job and reputation within the company. Should I say something to my colleagues? Should I advise her to say something?

Who sits there so late throughout the night?
The developer it is, with his code so bright;
He holdeth the mouse tightly clasped in his hand,
He holdeth it safely, he keepth it dragging.

"Oh bug, wherefore do you seek to hide?"
"Look, developer, the sysadmin is close by our side!
Dost see not the sysadmin with his usbchain?"
"Oh dear, 'tis the blur increasing its radius."

[to be continued...]

Can we get a dark colored background for the avatar, please?
The existing ones are too happy and bright.

Get really motivated to make something at 1am.
Pulls out laptop, earphones go in.
Types first line of code, girlfriend wakes up, complains about the lowest screen brightness with dark theme being too bright.
Motivation killed.

>boss comes into the office
>bright smile on his face
>fear.png
>
>"we are using php for this project"
>
>"no"

😏
#DarkThemeFTW

Our teacher recommends us to use the bright (blue) Visual Studio 2015 theme...
...dafuq man, you wanna fry my eyes?

There is a god forsaken Project Manager in my company that I got to work with since I started there. She has been there way longer than I am and she asks the most ridiculous questions. A couple days ago she wanted to know when a specific scenario occurred in an app (it was a feature she asked for, mind you). I told her "When the status is ACTIVE and the distributor is {{random distributor}}"

She stopped for a few seconds. Nodded and asked "And when does the scenario NOT occur?"

I couldn't hold it it and I barked an "are you serious right now?"

It may have come across as a bit rude and she called her superior who was passing by. Ranted a bit about my reaction and when he tried to understand the question he said to her "Isn't it obvious?"

I do believe I glowed in bright tones of green and purple for a minute or two

I’m working for fucking idiots. Here is an actual conversation I had with my boss today.

Me: I checked the numbers, and barely anyone is using our app more than once. Not only is a minuscule amount of people downloading it (we have 300 downloads), but none of those people use it more than once. Use retention is important and we’re failing in that regard.

Boss: User retention doesn’t matter. Investors don’t care about that. Blah blah blah all we need is marketing blah blah. We just need a bunch of people to download once. That’s all that marketers care about....in fact, an potential investor himself told me that he doesn’t care (obvious lie)

Me: Well, can I talk to this investor? What’s his name? Is he in California or India/China?

Boss: oh you can’t be at the investor meeting. It’s high level. Just don’t worry about it. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.

On the bright side, this whole exchange has motivated me even more in my quest to find a new job. And I guess it’s important to learn what not to do from idiots

In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.

Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!

But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.

Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.

In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.

Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.

This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?

Only the future will tell.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Some people.... urgh!

I've been an IT Director for a medium sized company for 11 years...
2 years ago we decided to custom develop an app for online ordering through a third party... This company quoted $36k, I told the team that I think it will be $100k and here is a solution that will do 90% of the needs for $50 a month per location... boss says he doesn't care if it's 200k he wants 100% of what we want and the ability to change it to perfectly fit our needs.... FFW to present... $36k app built by committee of 8 people.. = $400k... and counting for maintenance and adjustments. We now use that $50 a month solution as well to cover another need that would be too costly to code into the original app SMH... and now myself and my team are learning to code to support it internally because.... why would you just hire a qualified person... anyhow, I'm a few months into a self paced online bootcamp and loving it. So ... bright side found! Rant over

Just when I thought the future was bright

I develop apps for a medical school. You'd think the students would be pretty bright, but it legitimately scares me that some of these people are going to perform brain surgery.

I guess the moral of the story is you're not too dumb to get that dream dev job - if these morons can be doctors, you can do what you set your mind to. And you can feel good knowing your mistakes won't kill anyone!

Well, it wasn't fun, but I switched jobs this month. And sadly, it was mostly because my old company started building custom applications for our larger customers. Now, normally that wouldn't be too bad (other than the fact that it distracts us form working on our main product...) but... it was decided that we would use the back end of our user-generated forms module as the data storage layer. Someone outside of my department thought it would be a great idea, and my boss kinda just rolled over without a fight because he always just figures he can "make it work" if he works hard enough...

You shoulda seen the database and SQL code...

Because of that decision, everything took at least 3x as long to write and there was always the looming possibility that the user could change the schema on a whim and break the app.

I think the reasoning behind it was to try and keep the customers tied to the aging flagship product (with a pricy subscription model), but IMO, it was not with it. Our efforts could've had much greater impact somewhere else. Nobody seemed to care what I thought about it though...

I had to start over as a front-end dev, but I'm trying to look on the bright side and seeing it as an opportunity to sharpen my skills in that area. I'm already learning a lot. And although it's a little scary at times, it's also so refreshing to work at a place where I know I'm not the smartest guy in the room.

To the future!

Advertisement boards at german undergound station.
Thank you windows for the bright blue light down there under ground <3

Why does Google not have a dark mode for their freaking home page? I have dark mode on everything on my computer then I go to look something up on Google and get blinded. If they can do it for YouTube why don't they get it together on their nearly blank, bright white search page. You're better than this Google. And while I'm on that topic same to you stackoverflow. When I'm copying someone else's code at least let me do it in dark mode.

Found an actual usage for light themes: bright sunny days when you have the opportunity to work outside. Unfortunately however, this much exposure to sunlight hurts the developer

"Make it as simple as possible. Just use document.write()"

Primitive script in its purest form.

Driving along the LDP PJ area in Malaysia, glad this billboard is dead. It was too damn bright.

I once posted a snarky rant about the inadequacies of our vendor's​ product on their own social media page... It appeared during a live demo about "Managing Reputation on Social Media" with several marketing dept. executives and ruffled some feathers.

Bright side: It had the desired effect and a half-baked product launch that was doomed to fail got delayed almost a month until the issue I griped about was fixed.

I hate open space offices for following reasons
- bright environment (I cannot turn off the light just for my own)
- noises (talking, discussions, chewing)
- requests and questions
- people

But I still cannot afford to be in my own office room yet.
Now I have to wear a cap inside the office like a mad-hatter and plug my ears with earphones even without playing any music.

last summer, me and my friend @hamdan used to work from 8 to 4 in the infamous "fuck developers llc", and everyday around 3:30 some bug appears out of nowhere when checking in our changes, so we had to stay an extra hour or more everyday of our precious summer to fix it.

we really worked hard thinking that good things will happen or as our godfucker ex-boss who didn't even payed out a month we worked after he fired us used to say "the future is bright".

we live in a city surrounded by mountains, a sea, and a fucking ocean, and many interesting places to explore. and we wasted a year of our youth with the embodiment of scum itself.

Fuck Optimizely.

Not because the software/service itself is inherently bad, or because I don't see any value in A/B testing.

It's because every company which starts using quantitative user research, stops using qualitative user research.

Suddenly it's all about being data driven.

Which means you end up with a website with bright red blinking BUY buttons, labels which tell you that you must convert to the brand cult within 30 seconds or someone else will steal away the limited supply, and email campaigns which promise free heroin with every order.

For long term brand loyalty you need a holistic, polished experience, which requires a vision based on aesthetics and gut feelings -- not hard data.

A/B testing, when used as some kind of holy grail, causes product fragmentation. There's a strong bias towards immediate conversions while long term churn is underrepresented.

The result of an A/B test is never "well, our sales increased since we started offering free heroin with every sale, but all of our clients die after 6 months so our yearly revenue is down -- so maybe we should offer free LSD instead"

When can we expect to have sex robots that can also be used for domestic chores? I don't want to invest in a robot that only gets occasional use.

And a Roomba isn't very erotic.

If anyone is working on this, GraphQL API will be handy. I'm going to be doing a lot of things with it that you can't even start to imagine so needs to be fully configurable.

Can use Raspberry Pi...I don't need it to be too bright.

I didnt understnd why people hated white themes because the are too bright, not untill I looked out of the window today and my eyes were bleeding because the snow made everything as bright as if I would stare into the sun!

Worst part of being a developer: when you suggest a subtle amber shade but your client insists on bright yellow.

Hardware of laptops today.
Displays: Glossy screens everywhere. "Hurr durr it has better colors". Idgaf what colors it has, when the only thing I can see is the wall behind me and my own reflection. Make it matte or get it out.
Touchpads: Bring back mechanical buttons. Haptic feedback dying with touchscreens/surfaces is a tragedy. "But we can have bigger touchpad area without buttons" ...why? the goal shouldn't be 1:1 touchpad vs. display ratio. It ain't a bloody tablet.
Docking stations: Some bright fucker figured out that they can utilize USB C. That thing keeps falling out with slightest laptop movement disconnecting all peripherals (guess why microUSB had those small hooks?). Also it doesn't have sufficient throughput, so the 5 years old dock can feed 3 full HD monitors just fine and the new one can't.
Keyboards: Personally I hate chiclet. And it's everywhere, because "apple has it so we must too". But the thing I hate even more is retardation of the arrow keys (up and down merged into size of one key), missing dedicated Home/End/PgDwn/PgUp buttons and somebody deciding the F keys are not needed and started replacing them with some multimedia bullshit.

My overall feeling is that this happens when you give the market to designers and customer demand. You end up with eye candy and useless fancy gadgets, with lowered ergonomy and worse features than previous generations of the same hardware. My laptop dying is my daily nightmare as I have no idea with what on the current market I would replace it.

Currently rewriting a typescript app to ES5

You read that right, from typescript 2.9 to ES5, not ES6 or 7, just ES5

I guess the boss doesn’t like modern stuff

On the bright side, i contacted some recruiters today and there are already 2 companies who want me over for an interview

Went outside for a jobintervju ...

Isn't it just horrible to go outside and meet something called other people? My GF said it could be good for me, yeah right!

I even saw something called a sun. It was really bright, must be awful to have to watch that thing everyday.

Even when I close my eyes in a dark room, it's still too bright.

Felt so awkward today. Bare in mind I am still a junior. I was on a pull request reviewing session on a repo I use. I was being super super pedantic with variable names, data types etc as the people who wrote it are brand new to the company. I then realise I had just reviewed the companies lead developers PR to a different repo. Every time someone comments on a PR on this repo all developers in the company get an email notification. I sat there litrually sweating, bright red with the words 'oh ****' on an infinite loop in my head, staring at the screen waiting to see what was to happen.

Thankfully he was ok with the comments. But now people keep calling me the lead developer (teasing) fml I hate anxiaty

Two places: At a major NYC firm, I was in charge of social media. I was also involved with an intranet community. Something went bad with the intranet community project politics and I got blamed for it even though I had emails to prove I hadn't said/done what I was accused of. But to assert their dominance, my bosses called me to their office, sat me in literally a corner of the room, and interrogated me for 2 hours. The only thing missing was the bright light in my eyes and the "good cop" part of the routine. I'm ashamed to say they "broke" me and I just gave up and did what they told me to do to "fix" it even though I hadn't done anything wrong. The bosses were old enough to be my parents, so I wonder how much of that worked its way into the psychology of it all.

The second toxic workplace was where each month the boss would come from his home by the beach to tell us plebes what new ideas he wanted us to work on. We would just get done reporting on the results of his delusions of grandeur from the month prior and he'd pull the rug out and start us on some new thing. Never got any consistent traction on anything. He was the ultimate seagull manager: fly in, make a lot of noise, poop all over everything, and leave us cleaning up the mess. Oh, and we had to change the locks because we had to fire a customer service guy who was a little bit on the ragey side of things. Because of high turnover, I had seniority within 4 months of starting there.

OMFG! Who’s bright fucking horrible stupid ass idea was it to mix Ajax with php (php deciding the ajax paths) with random js outputting HTML inside random fucking static divs found no where near the logical route of content.

Trying to add a simple fucking status to a gigantic cluster fuck of a legacy project is just FUCK.

If I could I would burn this bitch to the ground and start again I would, But no, it’s needed.

Someone kill me before I break the shit out of this thing, I would take a wordpress project right now instead.

My dev colleagues, the ceo, a external designer and me (dev) are sitting in the meeting room
and we discuss the result from the designer. He designed a complete relaunch of a
small CRM for the logistics sector.

The designer is a designer as you know him, big beart, small macbook, chai late
and he designed nothing, he hired a freelancer from romania.

My boss studied software development in the 80s but didn't really developed a software
for about 20 years, but he thinks he knows all and everything.

My boss is constantly complaining about the colors in the design and he would like
a iOS approach. Our system should complete copy the styles from iOS.

The really funny thing happend in just 1 minute. My boss is complaining again about the
colors and told the blue color is way to dark and the designer meant thats not possible the
blue color very bright. My boss sat next to the designer and looked not on the wall where
the picture was thrown from a projector, instead he looks from the side in the macbook screen
of the macbook which was in front of the designer. Then the designer says "Oh my god, the color
changes if I look from the side or from the top of the macbook." The Designer was blown away. My
boss couldn't believe it and did the same movements with his head and said. "Wow, you are right
the color changes".

We all other people couldn't believe that they are so dumb and thought this must be a joke. But
that wasn't a joke. After the meetin my boss told everyone in our company his results regarding the screen.

I wrote every story in a document, and I'm planning to create a book with dumb shit like this.

Rant. Always start debugging with the start point :p

We have a lamp with a dimmer.
A day, the dimmer make some noisy noise. Just down it and the lamp never bright again.

I open the dimmer, check all connection, bullshit what is wrong?
I decide to bypass the dimmer with a standard interrupter. But doesn’t work.
Finally.... I check the bulb 💡 and... burned...

Morality: if the bulb doesn’t work, check the bulb!
:p

Been wearing sunglasses to the office for a few months now because I'm sick of bright screens, light themes of co-workers, the daylight outside that shines through the windows (I moved to another desk further away from the windows), the ceiling lights that are always on (even when there's daylight from outside, thanks boss) and people expecting me to have my eyes open in meetings when there's nothing to look at so now I can just close them and switch to "standby" while I'm still listening.

I am a devampire.

One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).

Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'

This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"

Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.

Always back up your data.

I came to my computer earlier today to find it on my Linux login screen. This could only mean one thing: something went horribly wrong.

Let me explain.

I have my BIOS set up to boot into Windows automatically. The exception is a reboot or something horrible happens and the computer crashes. Then, it boots me into Linux. Due to a hardware issue I never looked into, I have to be present to push F1 to allow the computer to start. The fact that it rebooted successfully, without me present, into *Linux*, could only mean one thing:

My primary hard drive died and was no longer bootable.

The warning was the BIOS telling me the drive was likely to fail ("Device Error" doesn't really tell me anything to be fair).

The massive wave of panic hit me.

I rebooted in hopes of reviving the drive. No dice.

I rebooted again. The drive appeared.

Let's see how much data I can recover from it before I can no longer mount it. Hopefully, I can come out of this relatively unscathed.

The drive in question is a 10 year old 1.5 TB Seagate drive that came with the computer. It served me well.

Press F to pay respects I guess.

On the bright side, I'll be getting an SSD as a replacement (probably a Samsung EVO).

I've had so much tea today that I feel sick...

On the bright side though, I've had great productivitea...😃

Help... 😟

On a bright side, everything in UK is 10% cheaper today than it was yesterday.

New phone, devRant installed.

Damn. The new white theme is really too bright.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not as passionate towards coding as I was before. Seeing bright-eyed juniors with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge makes me wish I could feel the same again. I mean I still like it and all, but it's just not the same.

Gotta love trying to sleep and waking up to a bright blue screen. Fucking Windows...

Someone had the bright idea of going 100% on premise then only having the VPN on the server in the office building with no backup to another server. Well the power went out and no no one can work or work remotely. What a plan.

Due to hardware failure build server was wiped out.
So all configurations are gone.
- There is no code to recreate builds
- No backups :D

The bright side, we can finally do it right ;)

Gaming on Windows vs Linux:

Windows:
After installing windows, and downloading Minecraft, I was able to run it at a solid 60fps while stretched across 3 monitors

Linux:
After installing, and spending many, many hours trying to set it up to detect more than 1 monitor, I admitted defeat and decided to play on just one. This monitor was also set at a weird resolution, which I briefly fixed, but then broke again immediately. I downloaded Minecraft and after running it, I was able to get a somewhat solid 7fps (10 if I was lucky).

On the bright side, it was able to run a terminal based game just fine on linux.

Man they're coming today. I got another one.

An issue filed over an issue tags color being "too bright" and "draws more attention than other tags"

It's the "good first issue" tag you think maybe I did that by design?

Holy fuck.

Went here today, it was pretty cool seeing so many bright minds interest in S.T.E.M

Semi rant/ opinion
I have been wondering a bit about what my fellow devs think about adblockers

I have been using an adblocker for years.
I am guessing we got a good mix of both people who are pro and against them

I do get the site's owner point of view wanting to get a little bit of cash out of their site buts its the ad publisher that come in and royally screw things up with their garish flashy shit.

I wouldn't really mind 2-3 small static adverts on a page, little ones that don't disrupt the flow of the page or clash with the page colour scheme (i know that one is a bit far fetched but anyone who loaded up a dark page in the comfort of a darkened room only to have a big bright ad turn up in the middle of the page force them to squint ). Sadly publishers don't give a damn, their only concern is to
GRAB YOUR ATTENTION...

FLASHY FLASH FLASH MOFO!

OH AND HERE IS AN AUDIO ENABLED ONE FOR YA, GOOD LUCK MUTING IT YOU POOR SHMUCK , ONE CLICK ON THE DAMN THING WILL TAKE YOU TO THE LAND OF POP-UPS

AH YOU WANNA DOWNLOAD SOMETHING BUDDY ? AH WELL I HOPE YOU LIKE INDIANA JONES' SCENE WITH HOLY GRAIL
CUZ HERE ARE 10 DOWNLOAD BUTTONS, ONE IS THE REAL THING THE REST WILL ARE TOOLBARS

They are the biggest culprit here yet moan the loudest about adblockers.
Sort yourselves out then complain to us about ad blocking

Fuck Microsoft and the windows dev team! Fuck the person who thinks it's a bright idea to force users to download updates on their fucking insecure OS.
I live in a shitty substandard country where the cheapest mobile data plan is roughly $7.5 for 7.2gb for a month.
After several weeks of Windows auto downloading updates I don't need, I disabled the updates on several fronts using tutorials found online until yesterday, the fucking thing still found a way to download updates over 6gb, I didn't suspect a thing until I got notification that my data plan is exhausted and I immediately checked windows update and saw a fucking download meter of 76% downloaded. The data was suppose to last for 4-5 days, all gone within 3 hours span.

Fuck whoever thought it is a nice idea to force users to download shitty updates, leave me with the fucking old unstable version, if I get a malware I know how to find my way out you fucking goofs at microfuckingsoft!!

Why the hate for light theme?

The whole freaking Internet is using light themes. Switching between dark and bright is tiring for the eyes. Simple as that.

!rant (kind of)

I have the bad habit of suggesting "awesome" and "cool" features for projects and stuffs.. (Mostly just for fun and won't give a lot of value to the project, but would be cool). The less fun side.. I'm the only developer (in most cases..)

Me: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if the user could do this or that, or if this was implemented etc.. ?

Boss/Leader: Oh, hehe yeah, hmm.. *thinking* [a bit later] .. You're right, go ahead, implement that feature..

Me: .. Damnit..

But hey, on the bright side.. It's an extra feature! :D

I booted up windows yesterday night to play some games which is weird for me since I am almost never in the mood

It had to update for like four hours automatically without asking me first so I leave it on and just go to bed

Next day, not really in the mood to play games, as usual

I go to restart into superior distro: Linux

Computer reboots into windows

Try again: fucking windows

Another: malware fills my screen once again

This fucking ass clown overwrote grub

This fucking piece of shit malware deleted my fancy dual boot screen and had the balls to casually say "Hi" while it did it

I then remembered my laptop doesn't have a keyboard combination to select what to boot from. I have to fucking boot my laptop by pressing a pinhole on the side so I can select linux.

Fuck Lenovo with their shitty button and fuck Windows

On the bright side, I guess if anyone steals the laptop they'll never know I have a second OS on it.

My latest post about my mother made me finally realize the whole picture.

Five minutes ago, I send her a long message that describes how I feel. This message will be the very last act of communication that will happen between us.

This felt like a bullet coming one inch away from my head. Like SWAT team rescuing me from a predator's basement where I spent the last ten years. Part of me already realized what happened and is serene, part of me still can't get used to an idea that this was, in fact, the end, and no further harm will be done.

My future is bright. It's so nice to feel that she doesn't know where I live.

On the bright side, with all these privacy update emails, it has given me a chance to unsubscribe from all the shitty newsletters that I subscribed loooong back and to delete unwanted spam accounts that I don't use anymore.

Thanks GDPR!

Dear boss,
I'm calling in sick today - this fucking thing has the bright idea to update the firmware on its own.

Regards,
@C0D4

Just got into web development.

Y U NOT WORKING RIGHT?

How do you guys make really complex websites when I can even center an unordered list without the first child...

I write something like align-vertically: center;
And what does it do? NOTHING!
And if it does something, it mirrors the whole page, makes it all bright pink and then everything explodes and I'm alone in a dark void, only me and my PC are there and somehow I have access to the internet.
And then I look it up at stackoverflow and I'm like: Oh, ok, I'll do it this way then.
And it still doesn't work and does absolutly nothing!
So I'm trapped in this void of nothingness till the end of my days.
At least that's what it feels like.

Our office has 3 walls made of glass

There are no blinds/curtains/etc

Every day, between about 1pm and 4pm, they Destroyer of Eyeballs hangs in the sky above my monitor, before it finally gets blocked out by another tower block

I now time-track 3hrs less each day - eventually someone will realise that buying blinds is cheaper than paying me to not work 15hrs/week

Why is teacher wearing the sunglasses in her classroom?

Because her students are so bright

There you are, fiddling with next.js webpack settings, because your isomorphic JS-in-CSS-in-JS SSR fallback from react-native-web to react-dom throws a runtime error on your SSR prerendering server during isomorphic asynchronous data prefetching from Kubernetes backend-for-frontend edge-server with GraphQL.

You have all that tech to display a landing page with an email form, just to send spam emails with ten tracking links and five tracking beacons per email.

Your product can be replaced by an Excel document made in two days.

It was developed in two years by a team of ten developers crunching every day under twelve project managers that can be replaced with a parrot trained to say “Any updates?”

Your evaluation is $5M+. You have 10,000 dependency security warnings, 1000 likes on Product Hunt, 500 comments on Hacker News, and a popular Twitter account.

Your future looks bright. You finish your coffee, crack your knuckles and carry on writing unit tests.

Websites with a very bright background and very dark text make me psychopathic. Specially when I'm tired and moody.

Why can't everything have a dark theme and a not-super bright text?

"Remove comments" said one bright developer, when asked how to reduce code space!👍
#ohshitmoment

Navigating Directories with PowerShell, coursemates staring and thinking I'm a badass hacker. Their reaction when a directory not found generates five lines of bright red jargonized line in the console and I just nod slowly as if I'm understanding something deep 😂😂

Why fix tomorrow, what you can write properly today!

Seriously, why does everything have to be [M]otherfucking [V]omit [P]rojectiles and dealt with later when it falls apart, rather then spending that extra few hours / days making it fucking stable now, instead of months some where in the future.

Excuse me, I have yet another foreseeable fire to put out.

WSJ Editorial Board, slow claps for you.
Your wisdom shines so bright, its making us all blind.

The new Gmail shows how redesign should not be done. Everywhere white, bright colors, no contrasts. Here rounding is smaller, there bigger, there is shadow, here not. Seriously, what I saw a few months ago at the announcements looked much better than what I see now. It's good that I'm using a desktop client, because I think I'd switch completely to Outlook.

God Apple, why tf does the Fill Screen / Fit Screen button only turn bright / change glyph sometimes ☹️

Every new joiney in a team is like a person entering in room from bright sunlight.

They keep on suggesting until their pupil get dilated and they see the creature they have to work on.

Half elephant, parts horse and parts bear suppose to do work of T-Rex.

I am working on an open source game project, and the most common way to draw things is using a class named ManagedSurface. The class is otherwise awesome, but it has a method called getBasePtr(x, y), which gives you a pointer to the requested coordinates. Fair enough (this is C++ without STL by the way).

But WHY THE HELL CAN I REQUEST ANY POINTER THAT I WANT, EVEN IF IT'S OUTSIDE THE SURFACE? Other cointainers have sanity checks, asserts and such, and the surface KEEPS TRACK OF IT'S WIDTH AND HEIGHT.

WAS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO ADD assert(x <= w); assert(y <= h);???

I spent 3 days on valgrind trying to find a heap corruption that manifested at random points in the code.

FUUUUCK!

On the bright side, I learned how to use valgrind (which is awesomely awesome).

I actually like light themes. Especially on bright days, they're a life saver, but... what the fuck.

I hear white noise when I look at it.

I'm going to spend the night with a rapidly flashing blue LED in my room.

I'm currently fixing an HDD, and the access LED is just going crazy. That's gonna be a long night.

I made a SMALLLL change in a .NET middleware that handles WebSockets (in the self-made SAAS I previously talked about) and it somehow fucked up n stopped closing connections even for people who left

On the bright side, I didn't notice any performance reduction in the service so the scalability was unintentionally stress-tested lol
Now to figure out how it fucked up

Soooooo had 2 phone screenings with 2 different recruiters.

So all was going well with the first call until she asks me about certain technology, and I'm a little confused as to how she was working it, so I asked, "do you mean....?". And her reply was....,"I don't know, I guess. That's what's written down here." I seriously almost hung up the phone!! 🤣🤣🤣

The second one was worst! This genius had the bright idea to call me from...wait for it....HOME! I mean all I heard was brats in the background and they kept destructing her. She's like ," so how long have u been-- Billy! Get down off that, NOW! Sorry about that." I'm thinking, "what the hell?"(only seconds into the call) She continues, "So what's your favorite lang-I told u to get off that! Hold on..." phone goes silent.... "Hello, I'm so sorry...." Asked me more programing questions few seconds later..."I thought I told you-------" phone drops! At this point I'm trying to hold my laughter in. She gets back on. "Sorry, dropped my phone. Well, I think that's all the questions I had, did you have any for me?" "Really?" I'm thinking. "Nooooope" I say.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was having somewhat of a crappy day, I needed that.

Finally installed Linux(Mint) on my laptop.

I guess I'll need to install some essential things that I need to really make use of it. I'm just exploring right now and so far, I'm loving it.

Got really tired of the BSOD that Windows kept giving me.
I've tried a few solutions, but it seems like it has made its comfortable nest inside and shows its sad face whenever it feels like it and ruins my important work (not really, but it really pisses me off)
Can't get rid of Windows completely because I need it for various reasons.

I've used Linux(Red Hat) before and also my university computers have Red Hat installed.
I would've also installed it on my PC, but it doesn't work right now.

Thanks,guys!
(For making me want to use Linux)
I really have a lot to learn.

PS - I can barely see what I'm typing here. Is it just me or is it really just bright as shit? (On web, of course)

Between high school and college, working in a circuit board manufacturing storeroom.

Fun fact: when we are bagging small boards, we do not gently lay them in containers, they're usually thrown at least 6 feet into a bin of the same type of board after they're placed in the bag. We also don't remake a board when pins are bent, we just bend them back with tweezers. And you know that rule about not touching the gold connectors... Yeah... So much for that... Did I remember to mention that these boards are for medical equipment?

On the bright side, we at least have electrostatic discharge control going on all the time.

I'm supposed to be sleeping... It's 12:30 am.... But I don't feel like sleeping...

And so I started browsing devrant...

But then I realized something... the screen is too bright.... not gone help me fall asleep....

Then remembered...I have flux installed but disabled.... for months...

Just turned on before writing this...

The screen is so much nicer to look at.... And now I'm feeling sleepy...

It is 4:55.
I should sleep.
I've just created a GLSL shader on my phone which renders the Mandelbrot set in 4 bright flashing colors while zooming in.

!Rant

Day 2 of "I'm done regretting"

The jog was still really painful and I still thought I was going to die, but in the bright side, a little bit less than yesterday.

💪💪

there is always somone smarter then you doing this shit.
Also, wait a week after you hear bright ideas from manament, and don't start work untill then.

The client in my previous rant asked me to overhaul their whole internet radio system in three days.

So I went on and install RadioDJ, which needs MySQL, which also needs .NET framework. And an encoder is needed to convert the RadioDJ's output and port it to the streaming host, ShoutCast.

Oh, and every software install needs the network admin's permission.....which won't be here until end of next week.

And here I am, in their broadcasting room on a Sunday, trying to download everything that I can so the admin can install it.

On the bright side, that stupid icon is finally vertically centered.

Lesson learned the hard way: Remember your SSH Ports or write them down...

On the bright side of things, i had backups this time! Tyy DigitalOcean :)

The whole javascript / java thing (which i suppose is an easy mistake to make to the uninitiated ).

The bright side is, it functions as a good litmus test.

Wk59

After almost 20 yrs, i hardly see daylight, i have become allergic to bright websites/applications.
I have lost my fitness , became fat and coffee is no longer a luxury but a daily nutrition.
8h sleep in a row feels like a week vacation used to
Saturday mornings i still wake up after a blackout but in stead of from drinking it is now of lack of sleep from the workweek.

In 1896, Percival Lowell saw straight channels on Venus. He was excited, because he'll gonna get reach — at that time, the award was in place for anyone who finds intelligent life on any other planet but Earth and Mars.

Why Mars? Because astronomers were seeing straight channels there too.

But bright Venus made this clear once and for all.

The patterns astronomers were seeing...

...were their own eyes.

Originally, somebody had the phone number 8.

Unfortunately, he kept getting calls from interns who would simply give him weather updates.

"It's sunny out" *hangs up*

"Quite bright outside today!" *hangs up*

"Very warm today, with blue skies!" *hangs up*

Eventually the man was forced to change his number, but it was his fault, really. He should have known that when it gets bright out your pupils dial 8.

I read something LinkedIn -related just now in here, and it kind of made me think. Not really, but whatever it was, brought my mood down some...

It’s a good thing I’m not looking for work at the moment, and I’m quite happy where I am right now, because what I see in LinkedIn depresses me. More specifically, the language and/or framework experience companies are looking to recruit... Java this, Python that, React everywhere... and then there’s the M$ shops... (oh and Scala - surprisingly much Scala, waduheq?) Urgh...

Don’t take it wrong, I totally understand sticking to the tried and tested tools you just know there’s devs aplenty who know their way around them. It’s just from the perspective of someone who prefers to use one of the better tools for a job, it breaks my heart to not see them utilized more, and it makes me think what I would do if I was fired rn? (Unlikely, but theoretically...) Tbh, I don’t know. Probs apply to one of the few F# jobs out there, even when I knew I’d probably have to work on a Windork machine again (pls no), but due to the drawback I just mentioned, not such a bright prospect after all...

So I’ve requested images for the dark mode because the existing images are very bright and look bad when dark mode is enabled.

After a few days the designer says that it’s done and sends me the figma link.

And what do I see there? He added the screens but in dark mode with the same bright images! 😂

I mean… even if he misunderstood me… doesn’t it look odd to him?

So I had been debugging this code for the past 2.5 days without much sleep and couldn't figure out why it wouldn't work.. Turns out I was passing the wrong variable to a method -_-

On the bright side, while debugging I was able to optimise the code and now it runs waaay faster 😎

Now, time to go into hibernation 😴

It's been 1 year in my crappy yet comfy and high paying IT job(my first job).

I have already been in 2 dev interviews, with 3 more on the way.

The end of my IT career is near, the future is bright and full of code!

Of course the shouting episodes all happened during the era I was doing WordPress dev.

So we were a team of consultants working on this elephant-traffic website. There were a couple of systems for managing content on a more modular level, the "best" being one dubbed MF, a spaghettified monstrosity that the 2 people who joined before me had developed.

We were about to launch that shit into production, so I was watching their AWS account, being the only dev who had operational experience (and not afraid to wipe out that macos piece of shit and dev on a real os).

Anyhow, we enable the thing, and the average number of queries per page load instantly jumps from ~30 (even vanilla WP is horrible) to 1000+. Instances are overloaded and the ASG group goes up from 4 to 22. That just moves the problem elsewhere as now the database server is overwhelmed.

Me: we have to enable database caching for this thing *NOW*

Shitty authors of the monstrosity (SAM): no, our code cannot be responsible for that, it's the platform that can't handle the transition.

Me: we literally flipped a single switch here and look at the jump in all these graphs.

SAM: nono, it's fine, just add more instances

Me: ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS?
Me: - goes and enables database caching without any approvals to do so, explaining to mgmt. that failure to do so would impair business revenue due to huge loading times, so they have to live with some data staleness -

SAM: Noooo, we'll show you it's not our code.
SAM: - pushes a new release of the monstrosity that makes DB queries go above 2k / page load -

...

Tho on the bright side, from that point on I focused exclusively on performance, was building a nice fragment caching framework which made the site fly regardless of what shitty code was powering it, tuned the stack to no end and learned a ton of stuff in the process which allowed me to graduate from the tar pit of WP development.

!dev

Im working with morrons...

So someone had bright idea of having clone setup of our servers in other hosting company (in previous company we have rendundant setup). Whatever, maybe they want to be resistant to thermonuclear war or whatever, like the project wasn't underfunded already... Whatever, fuq it.

And with that, I have like really, really really fucking ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT STUPID questions thrown at me.

So, this particular instance of bullshit started with trivial, literally "how much storage capacity we will need" I anwsered at least 4TB, preferably on redundant disk array, I've added small table what uses what and how much etc.

Than I got mail back...
"Thats not enough information:
1. What we need to say to company ABC
2. What we need to say to company XYZ
3. (this one actually had sense) Backups conception
4. **WILL WE PAY FOR SERVERS**
5. other important things (literally)"

So let's break it down.
Im backend guy. What the fuck do I know what you gonna say to XYZ or ABC. I dont give a shit, for me it's clicking setup new server and Im done for, you are overcomplicating as shit and require special care from hosting company that you will pay extra.
Next one, the killer one. What the fucking fuck. my anwser was literally "yes, we need to pay for servers, servers arent free."

Now tell me. How the fuck it is possible that someone can be such an idiot to ask questions like that. and I dont mean #3. maybe even #1 and 2 is like looking someone to throw responsibility on. But why the fuck I have to anwser mail that literally asked me if servers are free.

No, fuck off idiot, I have actual work. Take your bullshit and spread it somewhere else.

E:

and before anyone asks. No, Im not working in kindergarden but I often feel like I am indeed working within kindergarden full of 30+ mentally handicapped toddlers.

I just registered to GitHub. (Don't be surprised, I'm just a 16 yo student.) Is there a dark theme for it?

- A girl asks on FB how to deal with a problem in her Windows computer: the system is asking her to introduce the serial key.

- I comment her the possibility of using Linux in case her use cases are simple enough (web, music, videos).

- First reactions are even enthusiastic, some people who had good experiences join the thread to express their delight with Linux.

- Then a guy arrives to tell us how irresponsible we are, telling a poor girl who does not even know how to introduce the serial key... to use Linux (a super complex system!)

- So I tell the guy that Windows is not simple at all, and that most of the times, people just rely o knowing someone else with higher expertise than them, who always end up paying the price of solving the problems caused by Windows, so the users don't really feel how painful is Windows compared to other systems.

- The girl, who was enthusiastic at first, and seems to be not very bright, to say the least, completely misunderstands my answer. She interprets that I'm insulting the poor guys that act as IT service for free, and calls me a "know-all/smartass" (those words are not even close to their Spanish counterpart on pushing down people who know stuff, we are experts on that there, we didn't loose an empire in the 17th century by respecting the wise ones).

This is, in part, why I stopped helping those dumbasses 18 years ago. I forbid myself to learn anything new about Windows (at user level) so I couldn't help these ungrateful and ignorant people who don't make any effort to learn anything by themselves.

when your office is too bright to use dark themes 😐😬😡😧😒

"Don't fall for the hype. A lot of ideas, groups and methodologies are basically cults trying to advertise their consulting services. While I have no problem with that, just remember that when you run into one of these guys and they are quick to shit on the alternatives to their way (and those who built them) to always be very suspicious."

Context:

We had the opportunity to meet 2 very bright people who were heads of their respective communities in a similar area. They were both talking a lot of shit, and getting kinda harsh.

A brilliant dev I worked with, who knew both people for years, took me aside and told me this.

Some cults have cool shit, just don't drink the kool-aid

When you’re use to dark theme and the lights in your car are too bright, you black electrical tape all the things...

I’m either more sensitive to light, or I’ve adapted to dark theme-ing all the things.

Thanks for the reminder, wk17. To get unstuck: *pomodore*. Set a timer for 30 to 45 minutes, under which you are only allowed to concentrate on a single thing. No email, no looking up why your editor doesn't find declarations, no tuning of the red color of your terminal that is to bright, no compulsively opening devRant.
Time's up, do whatever for 5 to 10 minutes, and repeat.

> be me
> be developing a react native app
>realize the iPhone X notch is clipping your content on the first/home screen of the app
>google says: simple fix
>find a built-in react native thing to add safe area padding
> refresh the app
> ohno.png
> the other screens with navigation bars already have built in padding
> TOOMUCHPADDING.jpeg
> remove safe area thingy
> finds a clever, not particularly hacky way to pad the home screen without showing the header bar by setting its height to 0 and the color to match the content background
> more-problems.app
> there’s a small 1–pixel light colored line separating the header from the content clearly breaking the otherwise continuous single color background
> google.sh
> wtf.txt
> stackoverflow.html
> no responses except something I’d already done
> keep experimenting
> tries basically everything to figure out where that line is coming from
>sets borders to thicccc and bright red
>no bottom border? Ok that’s not it
>opacity?
>forgetaboutit.mov
>try shifting the header position around by a few pixels? Maybe it’s misaligned with the white parent layer underneath?
> nope.jpg
>it’s past bedtime
>Sleep.jpg
>thenextday(today).zip
> what about the content? Is that misaligned?
> nope2.jpg
>Maybe its an iOS feature not a react thing?
> make a test Xcode project, completely native to test
> negative.dng (pun intended)
> more-furious-googling.mp3
> find a native iOS stackOverflow question with the same issue (1px line)
> realize your Xcode test wasn’t done properly.
>atleastimmakingprogress.iso
> start looking into the SO post
>it’s native so I have to find out how to do it in react-native
>invent a bunch of style parameters that don’t exist in the documentation to see if there’s an undocumented thing
>loadsaloadsaerrors.log
>googles for a react native version of the iOS only SO post
> somethingpromising.tar.gz
> *tries it*
> “Haha nope” -my code
> whataboutthisotherthing.bin
> KENSISHSBUCNEGWISBVSIDNRVSIDNFIRJRBDKFNFIDJFIFKFNR
> HOLY FUCK
> IT WORKED
> AFTER TWO FUCKING DAYS OF SHITTERY AND SHENANIGANS
>AND MANY STACKOVERFLOW EDITS TO A NOW VERY MESSY POST
>THEREISNOMOREBORDER(final).zip
>*screams of relief*

I joined the dark side today. Not too bad...

worst part about factory resetting:
wtf devrant y u so bright???

I so much fucking hate most people
You devs are all good and cool people

Almost everyone else can eat a fucking dick
Some people are fucking disgusting

Everything is so blissful and the whole day is so bright and then you hit into a fucktard that ruins your day

Fuck you bitch you stupid fucking whore

♪ All around me are familiar faces
Worn out braces, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily standup
Going nowhere, going nowhere
The bugs are filling up their tracker
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow ♪

Very eventful day, please see enclosed several smaller rants.

===================

My college's systems are shit and not only do they use HTTP for everything, even the stores and financial aid purchase system, they have homebrew JS shit for PGP site encryption (nifty...), but they exchange the PRIVATE KEYS instead of the public keys. Over HTTP. Not even HTTPS. Also if you log in more than 10 times in 24 hours it's supposed to lock you out of your account until you call... except it locks EVERYONE out. Found this out when on campus, trying to get my textbooks, when suddenly everyone had login lockouts because i'm a "paranoid bastard" and "afraid of idiot college students" for not telling a PUBLIC PC to remember the one password (enforced by password auto-sync across all their shit, not ideal, no) guarding my SUPER-SENSITIVE FINANCIAL AND ACADEMIC DATA... among the other hundreds of issues this college has. I now see why this college is the only one I can afford...

===================

Can't pass-through raw DVD drive access to VMs as VM managers crash when I try (yes, even QEMU...) so i've gotta install Windows on a shitty 80GB laptop HDD for literally one quick project. On the bright side, if my theory proves correct, you'll no longer need modchips for PS2s.

===================

Found a couple odd lines in my xscreensaver config:

GetViewPortIsFullOfLies:False
nice: 10
pointerHysteresis: 10

the first 2 I can't seem to figure out what do, and the last taught me a new word. Fun!

===================

that's it, it's over, why are you still here

!rant, opinion/discussion

What are your thoughts or experiences with Ruby on Rails? Does it have a bright future?
I'm currently only using PHP for server-side web stuff, but looking for ideas for more beautiful languages.
I know C#, but because 95% of web servers I work on are Linux based, it's (as far as I currently know) not an option. Or is ASP.NET Core somewhat supported on non-root (basic hosting) linux servers?

Why are these SAMPLES NOT WORKING!?

It's supposed to just be reading and writing OAuth2 tokens from session.

I'm THIS CLOSE |__| to getting things working and I had to leave work. The fucking worst.

On the bright side, I think I finally understand how OAuth2 works. I need to write an article that actually explains it properly because I've had to read dozens to get a good grasp on it.

Don't you love it when you're in a full-on creative mood but the whole universe is somehow working against you doing anything productive?

Woke up in the morning with bright ideas for my app. But my PC restarted and my IDE crashed. After getting the IDE up, the project no longer builds. After spending hours to try and fix it, reinstall IDE and ............... voila............... everything works. I mean WTF?

A couple of years back I wrote what would be a strong contender for the title: the ugliest mvc framework ever written in php.
Bright side: now I know the pitfalls of mvc very intimately.
Brighter side: never have to work on that code again.

Now I can use ready made mvc frameworks and still know where to look if shit goes south.

When I am on Computer. I like the room to be dark minimum to no sunlight's and cool. That's why I hate my work environment. The room is so fucken bright. Damn those eye strain.

What do you do when your client WANTS a shitty website?
If it's considered a UI anti-pattern, he wants it.

I'm pretty frustrated because I keep bringing him what I consider professional-quality work and he's disappointed, asks for something dumb instead. I made the mistake of giving him Photoshop and encouraging him to try to design some of his ideas. I thought he would be frustrated and decide, okay, Patrick knows best. But that backfired. Now I'm forced to answer basic questions about "how to delete the pixels" and end up on TeamViewer for hours trying to explain vector masks.

His current bright idea is to advertise his product with a comic strip. And let me tell you, it looks really, really awful. Not tasteful material-design-esq vectors, he thinks those are dumb, he prefers crude clipart. But he loves it.

I've kind of dug myself a hole here. It's what the client wants. But the client wants a steaming pile of shit. What do I do? Also forgot to mention, dude is my landlord and I'm behind on rent. FML

pic related; it's his comic

Implementing a duration timer in my bright and shiny exercise application. Testing it and I was sure that one second after 7159 it should print out "02:00:00" (since 7200 seconds is 2 hours).
Didn't understand why it took the timer to show 2 hours after 41 seconds instead of just 1 second..

!rant ?

So I had 2 Stack Overflow questions open about Rails / Webpack data communication, plus one issue open on Webpacker's github for 3 days, desperatly looking for an answer or an idea. No answers.

Today I talked a bit with my flatmate about my problem, dude gives me a perfect, easy to implant solution, and life seems to be bright again. Thank you Alex 😥.

i wonder what happened to the bright eyed 18 year old version of me that had perfect grades and was on top of her shit. nowadays i can barely feed myself without feeling exhausted and I can't read a book to save my life

Today's first day at my internship has been wasted by IntelliJ IDEA not importing a project properly.
On the bright side, other devs told me that it took them three days in order for all configuration to be set up.
Man, this sure feels unproductive.

How many of you wear shades at work?

I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄

Thanks GitLab.

After I get notifications about the final replies to my 6 month quest of updating someones GitLab README, I didn't expect MY fork to have been modified ( and thanks to that, made ugly / they removed all spacing, vertical & horizontal )

Where the fuck even was the option that GitHub offers where it prevents people from just doing whatever to your shit in a PR?

Why the fuck isn't this a permanent setting for either ( lab & hub ) so I don't have to manually turn it off every single time.

I didn't even think about that option up until now, since the maintainers didn't touch anything and everything seemed fine, but now that it was about to be merged, they suddendly got the bright idea of squashing everything into one commit and that on my fork itself, .. really helpful.

I just oversleeped...
Im not a dev yet, i have a contract job at the factory.
I have worked 1month already from 3 that i singned up for.

The worst thing is that i said i need a day off to give specific papers for my university. It was supposed to be today but i moved it tomorrow due to the problem with transport.

Well my superior is propably realy angry right now... On the bright side i will have 2 days off...

I wont get fired (hopefully) because as contract job they should only substracy the daily pay from my monthly salary.

This is my first time that im late for a real job. My intuition says that i should go but i wouldnt bear the shame... If i were to go i would be late minimaly 2 hours. I have no idea what to do... I will propably stay home and lose the daily payment because im not strong enough to bear the shame today. It would be very difficult to get in the company as well. Ahhhhh! Its difficult to make decisions when you are shy, lazy and scared.

Dev: Hey this library you are mandating the use of doesn’t do one of the things you assumed it does

Non-Tech Manager: Well I think it does because I looked at it and that’s what it seemed like and the only reason you can’t figure it out is you are a bad developer and have attitude issues that’s why you are failing. You need to look on the bright side of things more often. This library has over 100k downloads which means it must do what people want it to. I think the problem is you. We can’t spend anymore time on this we have to just fix it and move on.

Every now and then I attend to previews with clients, and almost every time the clients make me think : "they can't be so stupid? Can they? And I start thinking that there should be some kind of minimum brain use time to allow people to wake up the next morning."

The worst part for me : the clients should be engineers... They might even have some kind of engineer degree...

Depresing afternoon.

On the bright side, one of my mentoree handled a denied of service error so fucking swiftly! He's amazing!!

Why do most web sites have so bright design? Aaarghgh, my eyes!

Anyone who dislike screeching default color themes? Black, red, blue, on full white?

Then I guess your editor and terminal are on low contrast light grey on dark grey, or something like that, right? Maybe even your window manager?

If your setup looks like this and the web is what hurts your eyes, try Dark Reader for Chrome or Firefox. I've tried several such plug-ins in the past, but this one is amazing.

(not affiliated)

Job BS that made me consider quitting?

Huh. so timely.

With my previous employer, it was the whole "we're doing Agile and sprints and all the things" with "finish the project in six weeks plus here are some more requirements" garbage. Plus my tech lead always let the business roll over her and add unplanned requirements during a sprint without adjusting the deadlines set by the project managers. In summary: a fuck-all combination of Waterfall deadlines, Kanban tickets and Scrum timeboxes.

At my current employer, it's our business partners who're a bunch of douchebags that don't plan for anything except making sure their bonuses stay intact. Recently they terminated support for a third-party product that literally drives 99% of their web application then says to us "Hey, we need to build our own replacement for the vendor product using an entirely new stack. You have 3 months or our clients will get pissed." Oh, and these business partners keep raising new issues without any documentary basis except "this doesn't feel right" when they test our in-progress work. So helpful <sarcasm />

On the bright side, I'm getting paid whether or not this project fails, so... meh.

I think dark mode is the best thing ever invented and glad devRant has it, otherwise I would have been blinded by my bright white screen.

*Awkwardly starts playing Blinded by the Light song*

I got such a bad employer… oh, pardon me: committent-but-actually-employer-minus-the-responsabilities that I developed bruxism, rage bursts and chest pains due to anxiety.

Bright side 1: i quitted by saying them in their face “you don’t even fucking know what docker is and you claim to be an expert, get a fucking update”

Bright side 2: They failed a while… Oh wow much surprise, very unexpected considering that they fired the only dev with experience on the product and that they re-made the interface every other day making everyone’s job a miserable joke. Smart move, 10/10 would invest in them.
The “bright side” in this is mostly that I’m forced to accept I was a very valuable asset and shut up any imposter syndrome related to that bs work.

Bright side 3: It forced me to see someone which in turn forced me face some piled up shit, so I recently feel better and hate myself less!

How can people work with those surface of sun level bright white IDE themes? Like, do you wear your sunglasses at home too?

I work at a company that sees front end developers as, basically, lab rats. I make less than my coworkers, who are all underpaid, and also turn out more clean code (based on mutual agreement, plus the only person who documents anything) than the rest of the team, and at much higher quantities.

Why? Because I get my ass handed to me by depression and anxiety every morning, and end up coming in ~1 hour late everyday. (For nearly a year now, even with medical intervention)

I'm probably going to be fired for it fairly soon, as well as get swallowed in medical bills.

On the bright side, I finally fixed a bug with my portfolio website that I've been working on, so I've got that going for me which is nice.

You know what's a good place for init Files? A standardized place...
A place, where one would expect it...
You know where isn't a good place
/usr/lib/systemd/{user,system}/

You know what is also a fuckin bright idea? Generic names....
Postgresql-10 is a rather anoying service name, if your plattform doesn't feature autocomplete for your plattform. Looking at no one. *Cough* centos *cough*

Well at least manpages for the service would have been nice...

My eyes are opening to a sad reality. It's not just software - people in every industry are as bad at their work as they can get away with.

On the bright side it means that a person who excels at one thing has a shot at excelling at others. Mediocrity is everywhere.

I haven't been able to work on the computer without getting a headache very soon after for almost 2 weeks straight now.

I presume I have grown a sensitivity to bright light, stemming from the time I dimmed my phone all the way about 5 months ago and never set it back until just now.

In my classes I will get random headaches that hurt like heck and make me feel groggy, making me unable to focus at all. And while doing computer work, I'll get the same thing.

I've tried getting my eyes checked again, and got new glasses about a week ago - still no help.

Prior to this incident I was working hard on a volunteer project with a small team. Since then my progress and commits have dwindled greatly, and I feel stressed out because I can't do what i want to do without hurting and feeling like absolute shit!

I'm currently trying to get my eyes used to bright lights again by setting things like my phone screen to a brighter setting, changing some dead light bulbs in different rooms of the house, and getting more involved outside.

I hope this goes away soon - I don't want to have this stupid headache every time I go to code or work in class.

Well, my country aint very bright at least for me.

So you have few options, i will arrange them from generally percieved as shittiest place to best place.

You are student or whatever and work in small company. Thats where lot of people are stuck. Like me. Pay is... Sigh. When you hear dev can earn more than 1k$/mo its like "yes, yes, gimme, gimme". Forget about beeing just dev. If I left my company it would collapse within week, but bosses greed is insanity. Oh well.

Than you have that middleground that I would love to be in. Freelancing. Here freelancers can live really well if they can find contractors willing to pay for their services. Wuthin this space there is most profit but also that uncertanity. But its my goto.

Than you have miniscule group you **really** want to be in, medium companies writing software, usually b2b. Well, here you get often 2k$+ and bonuses for working your ass off etc, and benefits are minor but there is usually *something*

And than you have corporations. They often pay a lot, lot of benefits, but.... Its corporation, all ypu learned in small companies usually goes through the window, their expectations are high etc.

In my country everything is like everywhere else but pay is much less, especially in small company space, and somewhat smallish in medium company/corpo. Freelancers are least affected.

tl;dr. web hosting && a panic attack && security threat

i wasn't sure whether my brother's domain was hosted or not (because it wasnt showing a website and he didnt know any better).
so i decided to host a react-app for it on netlify and pointed the domain's nameservers towards it (a separate security threat at bottom).
all went well and now when you punch in the domain it ..all-behold.. shows a website.

NOW, i remember my brother was using the domain's email which probably means it was hosted, right?. so im panicking because im not sure whether i just deleted all his emails or not because it's 1:15 am and he's asleep.
there is a rant in there somewhere but im in too much of a shock as to how much data i might have just accidentally deleted
.
.
another tl;dr: my domain registrar let me change someone else's settings..
the reason i didnt know his domain settings is that he didnt know his password.
i had bought a couple of domains and was gonna host them on netlify. while i was doing this a bright idea hit me.. "you should finally build a website for your brother for the domain he bought 7 years ago"..
this is where the fun begins.
i sent an email to my registrar to point all nameservers of all domains to my nameservers and just to try out i included my brother's domain into it (i dont own this domain it's not registered by my email), and the next day i get an email telling me they've successfully made all changes.
.
Now tomorrow is monday and i'm going to their office to tell them i found a security flaw and see how long i can stall before actually telling them what it was and how their live's could've been made hell.

So there was a 2b || !2b post on here the other day, I created my own version and posted to the developer group at work...

BTW: Sorry about the bright white, can't change the chat background on slack.

The university I used to study CSE, they had some OLD computers with Windows XP in them. Also, all those computers had TWO user accounts. One with the admin access and another one with normal access. Until this, it was fine.
But the browsers installed there were so old, even normal website struggles to load properly. and so many outdated apps, kept bugging us for update, but every time we click on UPDATE, they ask for the admin password, which we didn't have. So, most of the students were frustrated about this, but nobody took any action! :/
So, I hacked one of the computers' admin password. the password was "BRIGHT". I'm like, these people are never gonna set different passwords in different computers and remember them for eternity. Definitely all passwords have to be the same, and they were! Which saved my time.
So, I shared the password with everyone in my class and now they can install any apps they want. Which made me so happy!
But You know, words travel fast! Just one day after the hacking incident, the Seniors ( & the juniors ) came to me with their laptops to find their forgotten password, which made me earn some money & eat some delicious foods, also got to meet some beautiful girls of our campus ^_^
& I used to go to other classes to hack those Admin passwords for fun ^_^ But I never told them the password until they pay me or feed me something delicious! ^_^

I miss those good old days! ^_^

Today I changed my Thunderbird theme to dark theme. It was so fucken bright.

Oh boy, a bright new day 🌞.

Will this be a productive day with me getting my tasks done like a functioning member of society,

Or will I drown in my own sorrows and want to spend the whole day in bed.

Let's see what happens.

And thus ends my stint as a work from home dev.
It was nice while it lasted - I was markedly less stressed, more productive, and saved a ton of money.
On the bright side, I'll actually be able to hit the backend with my Mac now.

I have seen a few rants on here with people struggling with the problems life throws at them. Just remember in your loneliest hour, there are 40 thousand friends waiting...

Stay strong, stay bright...

promises in JavaScript have really spoiled me

it's the most optimal way to do async without leaving much on the table

there's a promises library in rust and the guy who wrote it says it sucks because it spawns new thread every time you execute a bunch of promises

and I finally, through my fogged brain, managed to get the bright idea to write what I want to make in rust in JavaScript and holy hell it's sexy to work with promises. there's no performance left on the table. you do things as fast as possible

but if I take this JavaScript usability code I made and make it possible syntax-wise in rust I don't see how I would be able to do it without starting new operating system threads every time I execute any promises (or set)

I can take the overhead hit but this sounds retarded

and this isn't even touching upon how in rust everything needs to have a predetermined data type. so you can do lambdas and capture variables and send in variables into a thread that way, but to return the return object must be a consistent type (synchronizing the order data was sent in to the data sent out aside, haven't written that yet should be fine though)

which is fine if you are making a threadpool and it'll all be returning one data type
but this means you can't reuse a threadpool you made elsewhere in the program

the only thing that could fix async is to literally be compiler-enabled. it would have to work like generics and automatically make an enum of every type that can return, and only then could you re-use the threadpool

Seeing kids programming make me feel like the future is bright.