When you are the one who does all the work in a group project.

In Switzerland/Germany we have an abbreviation TEAM: "Toll Ein Anderer Macht's" which means "Hurray another one/stupid is doing all the work". I think that nails it.

Time spent on Web Development :

1% : {
actual productive content and features
}

99% : {
Please. All I want is for this div to vertically align in this other one. Is that too much to ask?
}

Manager: Why is no one innovating?

Me: You hired all of us based on culture fit so you have optimized only in that direction. Everyone is same ... like you

Manager: You are right.

Heard a new one from the client today.
Said with a straight face, "You guys write your HTML in all caps, right? It's better for SEO."

Every since I've stared programming, I've been doing it almost everyday. But, I haven't programmed at all this week, and I already forgot the command to compile a C++ code.

It was just one week. What kind of idiot forgets things in one week?

Mistyping one character wrong in a password and hitting backspace until I am sure I’ve deleted the entire Wikipedia.

Then starting all over again.

Okay, we all ranters love pizza, right?

TIL something that we should ALL keep in mind while buying pizza.

One 18 inch pizza has more pizza than two 12 inch pizzas.

if ((3.142*9*9) > (2*3.142*6*6)) {
return buyPizza(18inch, 1);
} else {
/* stop being an imbecile. This is dead code */
}

My sister just showed me this. Stress ball and rubber duck all in one!! 😁

When you see a web service API accepting a SQL query in one of its JSON fields and the evil starts growing within you..

DROP ALL DATABASES

Just because you can!

I've seen a lot of weird graphs in my life, but this one beats all of them...

New pc setup. Pretty awesome if ya ask me. And all the monitors were free in one way or another.

Windows 10 Native SSH client inside CMD is crazy nice, no more putty... given its a windows feature and all!

(Hidden in additional features if any one is interested, will need a reboot to work)

Well I ended my interviews-adventure finally.

Applied for three companies:
- KindOfBigCompany
- BiggestCompany
- BiggestCompany2

I failed in the last two. But got the job in the first one.

The bittersweet sensation is that I got the job in the first one first and then got rejected by the other two so my last feeling is the rejection one. And I really liked BiggestCompany2.

BUT KindOfBigCompany is actually really cool and has a lot of benefits and also I'll earn much more than I currently am so I guess Happy Ending after all :D

I just fell in love with PCBs and all kinds of circuit boards for one sole reason.

When your professor tries to tell you no one uses git in industry and you feel bad for all the other students who believe him. Side note: he is convinced everyone uses subversion.

everyone in class was so silent when suddenly one guy pops up and says:

" 'TROJAN' VIRUS? I got it! you know? the trojan horse and shit?"

we all laughed
not because of him just realizing it now

but because we all slapped our faces at the same time, it was kinda funny.

Do you guys have that one chick / dude who doesn't know jack shit about shit but just like a fukin cockroach always manages to survive every nuclear layoff, all this guy does is come in an watch YouTube videos all day

In my programming lab, lecturer just scolded me for using stack overflow calling it useless and saying it has all the wrong information. Class I was so excited about just turned out to be the annoying one.

Boss's son (who, despite being 19 and having no formal education or experience, was head of the technical team, consisting of one ops guys, one part-time web developer, and one part-time data entry/programmer) brought a cross bow to work. Just strolled in with it one day and took it back to his office, walking past all the visibly uncomfortable employees. One of the marketing ladies said to him "wow that's a bit scary" but it had no effect. He also wore a trench coat and kept a flying squirrel in a sock in his pocket.

At another place (not doing dev work) I had my manger tell me to type more slowly to get all my hours in, as I was promised 20/wk but they had about 3 hours of work for me to do. I quit after a month.

That moment you are coding as a group,and you have one error in your code.after rectifying your one error you get more than 5 errors,and all you can do is stare at that code.

NEVER ACCEPT to be the ONLY DEV in the company who knows the whole product!

I am in the position of being the only one who knows all modules, there are even modules I developed which no one else will be able to maintain as soon as I leave the company, which I am planning right now and this also makes me getting depressed about.

So Pubs are open again I Ireland.. went to n that were all booked out.. but after 40min of wandering around I got a single corner in one of them.

Let me tell you one thing. You might pour good pints but NO ONE can serve a pint like an Irish pub. Soooo gooood and creamy.. fuck, i missed this.

I hope computing heavens have:

-One brand of hardware
-One OS
-One browser
-No closed source software
-No ads
-One monitor aspect ratio
-One fucking programming language with a fucking big standard library.
-Phones are just the same exactly the same OS as in computer, not stupid adaptations.
-All pages are only HTML/CSS, without JS.
-Due there is one browser and one OS, when you need a dynamic page, you can display a desktop app in the browser downloading its binary.
-There are one fucking brand on printer with standard drivers which are included in the OS.

We are so far from heaven

Had to do an assignment in Haskell and had some bugs all over the way. After some Wodka I did a one liner that worked but I never found out why. 10/10 would do again

Wow, just found out in C you can do: (if you have a struct with int i and char c)

mystruct st = {.i=20, .c='A'};

All in one line! Amazing

All front end written in one file. File has over 6000 lines, mix of a php, javascript and extjs. It kills my IDE.

Advice to all new programmers, take this one from personal experience. DO NOT PUT SWEAR WORDS IN DEBUG STATEMENTS.
You will miss one, it will go to production and it will get picked up by your log monitoring...

Best advice for dev job hunting is work on your soft skills. Don't be a fucking hero, prove your teamwork ability.

Remember all the rules of all religions and social communities can be summed up in one line: "Don't be a dick!"

Finally got rid of all those cables, just one usb-type-c-cable to plug in my whole office. Love it!

If i have to repair one more lenovo laptop, imma pull up to their hq and punch all them in the dick.

Am I the only one that prefers a clean laptop with no stickers?

(I do put all my stickers in a notebook however.)

Am I the only one who thinks all the fuss around github stars, commit frequency, or any social vanity metric in programming is just completely stupid ?

We have 1 guy managing everything. He develop our CMS, customers email client, manage our network, servers, domains (our own domain servers), billing system, SSL certificates... In short: everything (as well as bugs). The entire company relies on 1 guy, pretty much.
Brings the phrase "all for one, and one for all" to a whole new meaning.

Too much change in requirements causes one to lose interest in working at all

Why don't they build all-in-one keyboard & computers anymore? 😃

Got a course on Udemy for fun (work provides the account). Inside of the comments for a lecture (that I knew was going to leave people stumped) one dude complained that no one was answering his question......in Spanish. All other questions were made in Spanish, in a course thought by some Serbian dude.

Like.....really?

Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test

Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.

Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.

One fucking stupid 3 minute task I must take care of...Let us all spend 30 minutes putting it into Google Keep, Outlook calendar, Trello then OneNote..in case we forget....

Wait..I forgot to start my Jira time tracker.

I'll Slack you once it's all done then we can Skype to discuss.

Nice job there, YouTube. I always wanted to watch all the videos in a playlist stacked on top of one another with one click.

Somebody added me in a Flat Earthers' group in facebook, and they all say the nastiest things about NASA. One of them showed this image :/ Like you could really hack NASA with HTML CSS :/

We all have that one prototype/test app in our phone

We were in a college group. Five people. Making project in PHP. Some forced us to use cakePHP framework than left. One guy decided to not participate and decited to do it next year. One guy didn't know PHP at all. The two of us have to do all the work for five people.

On the presentation day we have ten minutes to do it. Guy without PHP knowledge forget password for our app, make three wrong guesses and locked us out of our app for five minutes.

Fav items on my desk:
#1: "Rubber duck" and stressball all in one
#2: my motivation to keep working so I can afford this car some time :D

We all have that one coding-buddy who we consult in case we are stuck...
We all have that one coding-buddy who knows nothing about coding

My biggest insecurity?

That I'm fascinated by a lot of domains and rather than mastering one I'm just intermediate in all of them, making me a jack of all trades but a master of none.

Am I the only one that does not even consider a freelance job if the description has bad/poor English and/or is written in all caps?

While I'm still struggling with Webpack and Babel. There's one light in the end of this abyss. Dear @AlexDeLarge is reaching out and helps me with all his experience. devRant, what a wonderful place.

Every time I got a mandatory security question, I type in "go fuck yourself with a cactus". There's only one answer for all of them.

Inappropriate experience at work? All very old experiences, this is one of many:

The IS department manager 'John' would poke is butt in a cubicle, fart, walk away laughing and/or say "That'll wake you up".

"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"

HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.

STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

The moment when you use so many different languages in a project (Python, JavaScript, coffescript, PhP, CSS, HTML, Bash) that at one point you feel like you can't program the simplest things and you mix all the different languages together into one...😫

When you exhaust yourself because you worked all night on that one feature that gets you really excited, and then you end up putting toothpaste in your armpit instead of deodorant.

Threaded API Calls, or rather:

How I killed five server instances in one shot..

Creating 50000 Threads sounds like a good idea in general, the bad part starts when you use start() in a for loop to run them all at once.

No further comments your honor...

All python in one picture!

Designer: "And you know what we could do? We could make all the information be available anywhere the client wants. It's all in the cloud!"

PM: "Yeah! That's brilliant!" (High fives all around)

That's one day after a visit to a client saying they cannot rely on their internet connection.

[YYYY]-[MM]-[DD] or [DD]-[MM]-[YYYY]

Across all dashboards and clients we have in current company you'll find one of the above,
Every developer who ever worked on part of the system have chosen either one..

So it's a total mess,
In an attempt to standard all date formats across all our clients I setup a Slack poll,

And guess which one is winning by more than 2x votes!!
[DD]-[MM]-[YYYY] !!!

And here I thought ISO-8601 is enough reason,
But apparently not!

They say our users are more familiar with the other one,,,

It seems main problem is with the education system of this country,
That's how they were thought in schools,

So... FUCK WORLD'S STANDARDS

Finding a forum post that perfectly describes your extremely niche problem only to have the solution posted in a bunch of dead photobucket links has to be one of the worst emotional rollercoasters of all time.

Dear enployer, how do you expect me to develop for mobile devices without provding fucking WiFi in the office. All the nice gadgets you have given me, are worthless because you can only plug one thing into it at one time - the lan-dongle Xor the fucking macbook you need for remote debugging. Nice.

family: oh cmon, how hard it can be
me: what do you mean
family: youre just sitting in front of that pc all day
me: yeah, thats how we ...
family: youre not working! youre sitting in one place the whole day

okay, i'm still a newbie to (unmanaged) C++, but looking at a colleague's code, what the hell is all this cryptic shit 😵 all this unreadable templating stuff + typedefs, 8 different copy operators in one class, i'm getting headaches just looking at it

Set up a mail server for our office using one of those all-in-one mail server installations. It would keep denying connections every few days, so me, being the inexperienced shit I was, setup a cron job to restart the server at midnight everyday. It worked and still, to this day, it still works.

That moment when u hit the power button on the monitor then remember that it is an all-in-one.

Once in university I needed to write a simple program in c++ and upload it to online complier which would pass test inputs. It was homework, but I was bored during the next lecture, so I wrote the program.
On my phone.
Directly into the "paste" window in browser.
It wasn't comfortable at all, so I wrote everything in one line.
And got bonus points from lecturer later.
After some questions, ofc, like "wtf why everything is in one line"

I work at the technology center of my school meaning I get calls if anyone has any tech issues. our school just changed all its computer to all-in-one computers. the day after I get a call from an instructor saying all the computers are missing.

!rant

I think one of the best moment of life is finding a good song all of sudden. It's like finding a new drug which I can just inject in my ear and code at 100% productivity.

Is asking for a nice email client in Linux too much?

In thunderbird, I found no way to customize the "messages pane". Title, sender, time all in one line.

In KMail, the fonts and style of HTML signature is not working as expected.

In Evolution, the fonts scaling doesn't work correctly.

Fuck me!

Ability to learn and implement everything in just one day top!
So I want to be a know
-it-all.

Here's me sitting in the exam thinking all about my code I wrote the previous night. Suddenly brain strikes that I forgot to pass one function somewhere in the code. So I submitted my paper and left to debug the code.
Code ran but I failed in the exam :D :P

"Here's the app all developers who loves complaining must get". devRant made the news in one of the biggest IT news websites in Sweden.

Fuck insomnia. Fuck it right in its overly alert, not at all tired face. Could I just for one night actually sleep and not wake up 2 hours later? Please?!

Few weeks passed, and I as a freelancer without job all I did was seek for one and couldn't find anything.

Now I'm overwhelmed with all the work and interviews I got in the past weeks xD

Never balanced...
No work at all, or too much work.

One of the interns:
"I'm thinking about switching from CS, I don't think I wanna write code all day"

Me:
Don't worry, you'll spend most of the day in meetings anyway

And this is one of the reasons why MS Windows is an unusable piece of crap.. Been 40 mins here and still updating.. Like I have all the time in the f*ckin universe..

Am I the only one? Have a nice desk but prefer to code in my sofa all night loooong..

If all devRant users worked in one big office, we'd all be eating a lot of birthday cake

Short one, but it really gets me every time:

PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one typing hex-numbers in all caps!!!

I literally can't stand to see them in lowercase!!!

Every code I use with hex numbers in it (primarily ASM and C) I HAVE TO convert them into uppercase!!!

Is it just me and my stupid OCD or are there other ones like me????

All it took was one class in university to switch me from Windows to Linux.

The feeling when you completed all tasks but one in the programming test 😣😩🤪
No, I can't be happy because I could have had 30/30

Am I the only one who is just gonna sit in front of his computer all night? I feel like everyone else has plans for Halloween.

I was talking with some of my co-workers about the rise of all these package managers (and one I came across for Windows), and this thought occurred in my silly head:

My desktop used to be so messy, and organizing files was a pain. So I created a small script that would create folders based on file extensions. Now instead of hundreds of files all messily placed in one folder I have 10 folders with all the files seperated by extensions

Me: *sees everyones desk setup*
Me: *tries to find all the screen in home*
Me: *gets one 5 inch phone and a 15 inch laptop*
*Cries in corner*

Back in the days, before apache, I wrote a plugin for all Mac web servers that worked like mod_rewrite.

Had a user base of >20.000 users and one of them was the webmaster of Apple 😎

Can you really trust the security features on your device?

Can you really verify that no one is looking at what you're doing all day, in your house or out and about?

What if I am the one looking at your naked ass right now?

There's the possibility that all of you just live inside my head, but it is also considerable that I exist in one of your mind.

Spent 3 hours today digging through 3rd party libraries, trying to get them all to work together nicely.

The solution? A one line fix in my own source.

FACEPALM!!!

Of all the fuckups I love the ones with all the wrongs the most.

Like one junior: restarted a wrong app component in a wrong environment on a wrong agreed time after updating a wrong property in the config file.

Like today one of my teammates: updated a wrong script to add a wrong step in a wrong spot in the sequence... At least got the environment right I guess..

Leading a team of 10 people, 5 environments (3 non prod 2 prod) to support, 25 formal deployments per week, and all I have is one fucking repository in fucking svn.

Ugh all but one unit test is passing :-(. I know the code is working- so the problem must be in the test... [add @ignore to test]. Yay they all pass now!

That's it. A year just passed, and here i am sitting in my dorm, watching from my window all those fireworks blazing, exploding, dazzling the sky.

I got no one to party. No one accompanying me.

That's all. Happy new year all!

3 time sheets: One for the company I work for, one for the parent company staffing us to clients, one for the client.
All three have to be handed in at different times, have different rules, are on different systems and have to fit hourwise.
A waste of hours per week.
And add an offshore team that checks all 3 to this.
Also once in a while they complain about something in it. (Audits, reviews,etc.) Forward to boss, he has to argue with them.
Waste of so much time.

I work for a media tech company and it's super fun. People around great taste in music and movies.

Meeting rooms are named are bands or movies. One is named as Shire, other as Asgard, and another one is Thanos, and many more.

And here's a special one :D

P.S.: will respond to all the previous posts, comments, and mentions soon.

03:00 am
Just coded for 12 hours.

One feature is blocked,
2 are ready for testing
And a third needs some development but actually has no task in the backlog,so that one is in limbo.

To bed
*drops mic

Tomorrow it will all be done.

Holy Shit! I had no idea legit Windows 10 Pro was available for mere $25 !!

I've been living in a cave all this time. On all other sites, it costs ~ $200

Go play asia if you need one.

CSS + Noob + Import html
Hey guys
Need some help here.
Is it possible to include an HTML file inside another HTML file without an iframe? I wanted to create the structure of the page in one file and include it inside another HTML (for example, have one index that dynamically includes an HTML file in a section, called by the menu OR having the menu, top and footer in one or two files and include them in all the other pages...)

Stupid bug in one the system apps I use made all the text in my OS look like this. 🙄

House search has never been as painful as 2021. Not only the websites are shit at stopping agencies from outright lying on their websites, but also they can't even give you a quicker browsing experience. All the click click clicks just to view one fucking option. Duplicate advertises, photos from "a similar apartment", no 3D showing, no blueprints, etc. , and all in all, awful experience all around that nobody cares to fix. 😒

"A jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one."

How do you think this fits in the dev world? Yay or nay

I went camping for 10 days. Decided to finally listen to devRant podcast, so I downloaded all episodes to my headphones. Listened to all of them in first day. The only thing I can say is... When the fuck is the next one coming out? That shit is amazing! I can't wait!

The feeling of the one error that you’ve been beating yourself over the head for...

And realize it was all your fault in the first place.

My file structure:

Documents -
- That one impeccably structured folder that I never remember to put anything in

- Gigantic project folder that will some day kill me in my sleep

- That one unrelated folder that all of my non project scripts just end up in. No structure whatsoever

- about 2 billion loose files

The process of making my paging MIDI player has ground to a halt IMMEDIATELY:

Format 1 MIDIs.

There are 3 MIDI types: Format 0, 1, and 2.

Format 0 is two chunks long. One track chunk and the header chunk. Can be played with literally one chunk_load() call in my player.

Format 2 is (n+1) chunks long, with n being defined in the header chunk (which makes up the +1.) Can be played with one chunk_load() call per chunk in my player.

Format 1... is (n+1) chunks long, same as Format 2, but instead of being played one chunk at a time in sequence, it requires you play all chunks

AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

65534 maximum chunks (first track chunk is global tempo events and has no notes), maximum notes per chunk of ((FFFFFFFFh byte max chunk data area length)/3 = 1,431,655,763d)/2 (as Note On and Note Off have to be done for every note for it to be a valid note, and each eats 3 bytes) = 715,827,881 notes (truncated from 715,827,881.5), 715,827,881 * 65534 (max number of tracks with notes) = a grand total of 46,911,064,353,454 absolute maximum notes. At 6 bytes per (valid) note, disregarding track headers and footers, that's 281,466,386,120,724 bytes of memory at absolute minimum, or 255.992 TERABYTES of note data alone.

All potentially having to be played

ALL

AT

ONCE.

This wouldn't be so bad I thought at the start... I wasn't planning on supporting them.

Except...

>= 90% of MIDIs are Format 1.

Yup. The one format seemingly deliberately built not to be paged of the three is BY FAR the most common, even in cases where Format 0 would be a better fit.

Guess this is why no other player pages out MIDIs: the files are most commonly built specifically to disallow it.

Format 1 and 2 differ in the following way: Format 1's chunks all have to hit the piano keys, so to speak, all at once. Format 2's chunks hit one-by-one, even though it can have the same staggering number of notes as Format 1. One is built for short, detailed MIDIs, one for long, sparse ones.

No one seems to be making long ones.

The biggest challenge I face at work is having to sit in one place and work all day. Office feels like a prison. I miss working from home.

Our Code everlasting
The all creating One
Coders Almighty

Through Our Holy Lines
Conceiving Algorithms
Konrad Zuse our Savior

I believe in Clean Code
I believe in Free Software
I believe in Open Source
Our Code is three in one
I believe in the bug-free project
That'll be compiled again
For I believe in the name of Alan Turing

All the jQuery... in one single repository / website.
There is a good reason why we should use fucking CDNs.

Edit: Yes, these are different files in different folders.
Edit2: I've already deleted 2 other jQuery files (the library itself).

This is a classic example of "We need to justify our Dev's salaries so we made a bunch of changes in the name of innovation."

Why did they have to do this? I miss the old design where one swipe from the top had 5 icons, one for wifi, one for mobile data, one for Bluetooth, one for battery saver and one for flashlight. If you wanted to access something extra, one more pull and you'd get all of the notification tray options.

Now these fucking things take up half of the screen. Absolutely worthless design.

Me: Ugh i want to try a hackintosh again but all my SSD's are in my PC already and its not worth spending $100 for a small one...

*Leans back in chair literally knocking 3 SSD's off my shelf*

Soo there's this new language in town.
It says it looks like ruby but runs like c.

Any one tried crystal yet?
Is a compiled language but with all the funky features.

I wondering what could possibly slow down our server app , Just found out there's one mother fucker who use async in every cases and async everywhere. Hey not all function are async!

All it takes is one jackass somewhere in the world with no understanding of character encoding to ruin things for everyone else.

Just came across devdocs.io
All doc's in one place, very nice.

#arduino #led matrix
Hey guys.
So, this is my first led matrix using a 74hc595n, I did all the connections right, isolated the cathodes (-), and when I tested, I only connected one cathode (to test one row, when almost all the lights turned on, in all rows doing a chacing... So I disconnected the negative wire and it still works.
One led in the arduino blinks (L).
GND is only connected to the shift register
All the rows light up doing a colum chase when there is no negative.
I'm astowned.....

Hi, I'm a 17 years old web developer (still in school, not from the us), is there any way that a guy like me will be able to find a job to start gain experience? I searched all over the internet, in upwork no one answer me when I try to contact them and the other all wants 1 or 2 years of experience or a degree...

Needed to update one column in table A with data from table B (huge table).

Created awesome update query with join between the two tables.

A few hours later realized all data in table A is already being imported from table B in a query executed earlier in the process...

Wish you all a Happy New Year! Being a part of this community has made me feel a sense of belonging and that I'm a part of something bigger! Seeing all your fuck ups made me feel better that in not the only one, seeing all your accomplishments motivated me to achieve more in life! I would like to take this moment to thank you all and to make me feel proud of being a dev! I wish you all an amazing new year and may you all get whatever you wish this new year!

We had a system in the office were just pressed 0 on the keyboard to go back one step in the program. My kast day at the worn I removed all 0 keys from all the keyboards in the offfice and hid them.

Now is all in one on our smartphone

Made an order for 3 bubble teas + 1 vacuum from Amazon. Somehow they came all in 1 tall box...

I thought they'd be in 2 packages since they were in different departments but I'm wondering what the layout of Amazon warehouses are and who/what decides that all these things can fit in one box...

Searching for a new job in a different language than you have experience in. Seriously, no one seems to really understand that if you can code in one OO language then you can pretty much do them all!

I don't want to do PHP any more you fucks!

Am I the only one who genuinely appreciates all the updated privacy policies and opt-in notices I'm getting? The GDPR seems like an unequivocally good thing, to me.

All Chinese who write github codes in English and comment on code in Chinese. Please please stop. Use one language.

After finnishing all functionality defined in koncept our boss said that we should write some unit tests.

Wrote first one and already found 2 bugs.
I guess we should start with tests earlier 😅😷

As a student, I live in a house with friends and the actual didn't have a table in my room.
So after one month waiting for a answer of the owner I decided to buy one in second hand. All I can say is that I love it.
Any suggestions to some improvements?

PS: external drive is only temporary

"Advertising is the one industry where all the experts seem to be the people who don’t work in it." - William Childs

Spent all morning debugging a script I wrote to compare 2 CSVs of tables from 2 different dbs.

It generates a unique key for each row using the data.

For some reason couldn't match 1 in each...

After all morning of debugging and scrutinizing the data in the dbs itself... I found the root cause....

One for loops in the program skips the first entry...

Creating something out of nothing and knowing there's people from all over the world using my creation. One last thing is the developer community is so rich in diversity, walks of life, experience...it's truly awesome to get to know so many people who all program.

Two years of my life I've kept in this project, sacrificed many weekends and peaceful thoughts ! worked my ass off to be an impact in the team and in delivering project...in spite of all that I still can't get ON SITE and all I get is some fucking bullshit appreciation from PM which he didn't even cared to tell one on one ...I hate my f**king life ! 😥😢

!rant

mods are asleep.

all aboard the ++ train

How to:
++ all the comments in the thread. once you reach the end, post a comment. only post one comment. board the train.

One of my colleagues who thinks he knows all about "big data": "I try to put everything in hadoop, that is my philosophy".

We don't even have a hadoop cluster.

How to write crappy code, intermediate level:
Smuggle a hidden OR operator into a longer(300+ chars) logical expression full of ANDs. The best placement is somewhere in the middle. And keep it all in ONE line - at all costs.
#truestory

I coded a simple Java programme when I was a beginner, today I reviewing it. I facepalm myself and thinking "I wish I know about 3 tier Architecture software development earlier" . Now I am looking at a one tier Architecture programme.

Which means UI components, Logic Components and Database components are all in ONE class and one method. Omg. Silly past self...

How long should one stay in a new role before... Well.. You know... letting all the rants out off the closet?

All these websites in one server, when the Big One comes, they all go down...

Am I the only one who gets intimidated when shit its roof?

Yesterday, during crucial business hours, one of the major OMS db column type got overflowed. Caused around 30 mins downtime and then later, pool of all connections with high concurrent requests flushed down stream which caused thunder herd.

One by one.. all services went down; Fucking java service couldn't even start because of load..

This is the moment I fell in love with GoLang. We shard request using GoLang service, it just started and picked up the load beautifully..

At the end, it is around 6 millions business loss, but a good lesson learned :)

Not my hack but when I was in university, for one test we had to find all 3 digits number that satisfied current set of criteria. Friend of mine knew from earlier that solution is one number and written program that just prints that number. TA give him 0 points and he get in fight claiming that not only his solution was good but also most optimal one.

Actually, it happened just before my current holidays.
I had prepared a whole system to feed and use a machine learning model. My colleague and some others had been working on a great thing, all encapsulated, all abstracted for my system.
My last day at the office, they had it ready.
I install their thing, load one model and launch one dummy prediction: error. I try with other input data: error
I try debugging a bit more, errors all the way. Knowing them, I asked if they wrote some unit tests.
"Sure we did"
I find the tests, yes there are some. And I notice:
"Hey, I see that in all your tests, you're making more than one prediction at a time (=aka using a matrix with more than one row)
- yeah, and it work fine
- in the project, we're doing one prediction at a time, did you try it with one prediction?"
He tries: error, that was totally what I said.
I started ranting on loosing the scope of the project, why we do tests in the first place.
Then, I grabbed my coat, said "see you in one week" and let them rework their code.
I was so angry at them, it seemed so basic to just check that 👹

I just intentionally used the "All My Files" shortcut in Finder. There was me thinking "no one would ever use this" for the last 4 years

Oh my damn god,
I just found the remote-server plugin for vsCode and holy fuck balls, it's the one thing I've wanted from vsCode since ever.

When you dev in VMs and are forever working with remote code using SFTP and git on a remote servers, it's a pain in the ass.
But this, god damn this solves all of that, and with connection specific plugins, I think I just came.

My workplace keeps moving more and more teams into the building, but the number of restrooms remains the same.

All it will take is one bad food-handling day in the cafeteria to enable battle royale mode.

I fucking hate SO ! No sense of gratitude at all.. :/ Fucking arrogant fucker's ..One thing I've realised during answering question's in SO..It's like a bitch ! You should bang and throw it,shouldn't think about loving it.

Let me just put all this code in one place, get things working first I'll split it later.

My company uses a management software to store all sorts of documents. A colleague wanted to test their API.

In a meeting with management he reported that a backup of all receipts was done in a couple of minutes.

They initially thought he had download the files one by one using the browser interface and copy/paste to individual folders... Mad mouse skills my colleague has 🖱

For almost a week , I was stuck with the incorrect order of xhr response due to multiple api calls. Tried everything .

Turns out I could have called all the required data in one call only .

SHOULD.HAVE.READ.THE.DOCUMENTATION

Developing on Android and came across an issue that only seemed to be happening on one of our devices.
A fair bit of time was spent trying to figure out why the hell one resource (image) wasn't available even though it was clearly there in the project and was working on all other devices.

Turns out the image in question was in the drawable-v24 folder on accident so of course wasn't working on the one device running Android version 21 🤦 at least it was an easy fix

I always choose light theme in all my IDEs and unable to answer whenever some one asks why. Mind to share some of yours?

Co-worker asked for a call and then when I replied "you can call when ready :) " the reply back is an all caps "IN A MIN"

I'm not the one asking for the call and I'm also not rushing you to have one.

To me all caps means shouting and it puzzles me because while typing it the other person can see it and previous that they aren't using all caps. Why continue using all caps if you aren't angry? 🤷

How do you interpret all caps in a work chat conversation?

Today is the birthday of Sir M. Visvesvaraya, one of the greatest engineers of all time. In India, we celebrate his birthday as Engineers' day. Happy Engineers' day to all engineers here!

That moment when you're trying your damnedest to concentrate at work but all the info is just going in one eye and out the other ear

Kodi is shit.
And all the other things (which seem to be just kodi with a different ui. All of them) claiming to be "tv box ready" with sentences like "let your smart tv look old": bro if I can't even install fucking netflix alongside youtube with a nice navigation (product native at best), need to use some kind of keyboard because you won't work with my paired aftv remote and get like 4 fps on a fucken raspberry pi.. my smart tv looks like it's from 2075.

This is an old one that I have hacked about to make it fit, so I hope it still works..
There were a business user, a B.A. and a developer on a road trip in the UK when they crossed the border into Wales. (This was antevirum, so that kind of behaviour was allowed back then).
They saw a sheep on a mountainside.
The business user cried out "Look! All the sheep in Wales are black!"
The B.A. tutted and said "Actually, all we can say is that there is at least one sheep in Wales and it is black down one side."
The developer woke up from nursing his hangover in the back seat, peered out of the window and said "How do you know its a sheep?"

When you have a client who resorts to mailing you CD-Rs with all their images for the project as uncompressed TIFFs because all they know is that their e-mail system screams for mercy when they try to send 3.8GB of images in one message...

"Advertising is the one industry where all the experts seem to be the people who don’t work in it." - William Childs

I saw this piece of code, one of my colleagues at work wrote it.
The content in in the function also had 0 comments.
Sorry for posting this here co-worker but it sincerely bothered me.

// Delete all
function deleteAllFunction(){
...
}

DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT USE "scapy.all" in python3.

I spend hours figuring this one out. In one commit i added tests and other tests not connected to my tests started failing. I ran the tests several times and also checked the rng-states, but everything was the same as on the commit before...
There was one additional error message i decided to check out, which was the result of "import scapy.all" (that's a module that contains all the scapy-exports). I removed that import and used the right packages and suddenly: all tests passed.

Fuck this inconsistent piece of crapware that has its python2-files in the pip3-repo and gave me that hell to debug.

Cocoapods - an easy way TO SHIT ALL OVER YOUR MAC AND PROJECTS. Jut add frameworks to project? No way, lets put hundreds of shit, projects in projects, run all over the place some piece of shit scripts written by who knows who and for what reason, it's always fun when one little misstep can ruin all your plans for weekend.

is there a opensource tool to collect all the existing databases in a big company to one platform/cockpit? In order to make them queryble via graphQL? aka. [Company.api]

Null-propagation operator and null coalesce all in one line makes me tingly.

return registryKey.GetValue("foo")?.ToString()??"bar";

There are days I imagine what my life would be like as a farmer instead of being a developer.
Two major sets of fully manual tests due on one day, after I've been alone in the office for two weeks handling all development, testing and support requests; inbox full of dumb questions that are answered in docs; people at my desk asking for shit that won't get done; and although the other devs are all back, one is "working" from home, one has no permissions to SVN, and the other is still learning how to do anything useful.
To top it all off, I've a meeting in twenty minutes, and I've managed to get coffee on my shirt and in my ear buds in a curious incident involving my headphones getting dunked in my coffee and going towards me at high speed.
Oh, and my wife just called saying the baby is screaming like a banshee at home, so I have that to look forward to.
Ugh...

Mfw on azure/iot conference, one presenter shows his certificate validation, to connect to all devices in his house:

return true;

He said:
"lets not be paranoid about security"

That one guy's post from 2008 thread with no comment having same error as yours​ now. You scream all in your mind : @coderguy420 what did you see on screen?

If you got job offers from 2 companies, one in Poland, another in Germany, and they want you to relocate. All things being equal, which one would you select based on country?

"all these high schoolers can't see others' active directories... but they're all RWX on the Students group all students are in. Also the up button shows everyone's ADs from any student's, but no one will ever press that!"

Got a nice solution, part of a micro-services system. Interfaces where they should be. Single responsibilities. Easily unit testable (and plenty of tests in there).
Then the Senior rewrites things because he didn’t see the point in having interfaces and couples every layer to a shared set of objects, and those objects are now shared by all the other micro-services too. One change in one and we have to repeat it in every service. 🤦‍♂️

What if. What if all the developer are just one developer. What if all the world is just a training setting for that single developer. All the developers are just manifestation of one single developer.
All the greatest hackers and the noon. Every developer In the world is you. You are all the developer. The one who codes in java python JavaScript. Heck cobol. It's you. What if all the developers are just one developer manifesting differently ?

(Inspired from similar story where all human in history is just one person manifesting into forms to prepare him for higher 'levels ')

There's this one kid in my web design lab (I go to a technical highschool) and he always brags about using bootstrap and that's all he does is copy from the bootstrap library pisses me off!

Fucking excel...
I opened up my CSV and changed values in one column... You fucking didn't need to take it in yourself to change all of my dates in another column to one you prefer, they were fucking fine!

One of those days where you're sitting in a customer meeting and you hear them talk and:

"I know that was all in English but nothing you said makes any sense based on what I know about your software, business processes, time, space ... anything in this universe"

If in emergency you have to hide porn..
Just put all in one folder and then compress
it with zip/rar and change the extension which none of your computer program can understand or just change it to .class or .cpp!

I am unable to see anything useful in current social networks. It all looks like big advertising platforms and I am not interested in looking on ads. This personalization is so shitty that original content is very hard to find. All is so political correct and trendy and what about uniqueness of human individuals. Shitty socialists networks. Hope this website would not be another one.

Status: Fixed two NullpointerExceptions in one commit as a bugfix, with only one cup of coffee and all that on a friday.

What about the EU sending one email in the name of all companies next time?

I don't know how much of this can be considered data loss but one one of my uni classmates frustrated by some hellish tasks (cleaning some old code files probably) decided that everything in that particular directory won't be of any further need, so she procede to rm -rf it.. only to discover that the terminal opened in that dir was another one and her current one (the one she bashed that unforgiving rm) was in fact a standard freshly opened term where any term would open.. in the user's (only user) home dir... such a face she had when all her codes, homeworks, projects and everything went to oblivion 😂😂 jokes aside it was a good thing that the semester was almost finished, all hws submited and no important data was there as she dual booted with ubuntu and some windows, but funny thing how such a honest mistake can ruin not only your day, but maybe your entire semester

Hi everyone!

I don't know if there is a one size fits all solution, but could get me some pointers on how to make built in laptop webcam work with linux mint 18.2?

I am still confused why people treat testing as secondary position? Tester are paid less and they hire lower quality engineers. I think testing is as important as any other phase of development, like design or implementation. . . and yeah we do testing of our own code. The only thing I can do in my case is to see that people who change my code may not break basic functionalities. And again about edge cases, try to handle some other left to be seen in production( those which I could not think of due to lack of time) I take care not to leave edge case but sometime cannot do it. I just hope people realise the worth of testing.

The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few, or one.

Yet they fucking stopped all the trains in Sydney because one idiot climbed the power lines.

How about those people who missed their job interviews? Business meetings? Doctor appointments? Scrum meetings? No they had to stop all the trains

The feeling after you refactor 4000+ lines of ugly legacy code into 2000 lines of code placed in a framework ...these 4000 lines also all one document

When you're the only one in your team understanding git and knowing all the requirements: haven't programmed for weeks, just fixed branches and answered questions -.-

Have you ever gotten a job working on a project you generally understand conceptually, and on day one, with zero knowledge of the specifics, you are now in charge of said project with no one to ask about the standards or procedures?

Then again, why would you ask anyone, after all, you're in charge.

I'm the one one in my team that uses git. In fact, they ask me to set a version control system to collaborate more efficiently... But then I'm the responsible to merge all the versions and spend a lot of time. It is burninge out...

Fking alfresco and custom script listeners and fuck referencing multiple jars in one single jar and fuck reload time of alfresco server and all :(

As a developer there is one thing that I hate above all things in this industry and thats doing terms & conditions pages -.- smh.

That amazing feeling one feels all over their body when they finally crack the problem they have been trying to solve for weeks.

Feels amazing. I need more of that. In a pill form. Thanks.

Making a folder organizer.. while debugging I accidently ruined all the files and directories on my computer.

Just in one single click, boom!

In the end it disorganized all my folders.

Is there an SSH app like Putty that can login to multiple servers at a time and execute the same command?

We have multiple servers and trying to locate a request in the logs. The structure of all the machines are the same so I want to just toe each command like CD, grep, etc one time and see the output from all of them.

Rather then logging in one by one.

My company has 3 core partners but one works remotely nearly every day of the week and the other has his own business to run (attorney). It's funny being the one in the middle hearing about how each of them never knows what the other is working on for the company in an exasperated fashion, when all it would take is for them to talk to one another. I literally schedule meetings on their behalf just so we can all get on the same page. "Oh, you don't know what he's putting into that business proposal? We could just ask him and find out."

There is a deal on udemy for black Friday, all courses are 9.99€ in case anyone cares, I know it's really popular among devs.
I got one for unreal engine and one for python machine learning - they are well taught so far.

Dahhhhh. A few times a day, seemingly at random, one of the fans in my PC starts making a horrendous noise.

This would be mildly annoying, but fine if I could actually just isolate where the noise was coming from. But whenever I go to move the bloody thing and pop off the side case, it stops again 😬

Don't really fancy replacing all the fans one by one just in case they're the issue...

I've developed a habit to kickstart stuff I probably use once or twice in my life, am I the only one? Deciding to block all traffic to kickstarter.com

I love it when a coding assignment is to take the last assignment and do one thing more optimized !!! 😄😄

All the hard stuff is already done and all I have to do is some optimization that I’ve done before in other languages and just have to implement in this one 😄

The better question is which one didnt I get through code?

My best and first real friend was doing an internship in the same company as I. Via her I know all my current friends.

Our app has web scale data. So let me take all my tables from a relational database and map them one to one to a collection in a document database.

Herding managers all day, I feel like a corporate cowboy.

Ewww… one just shat on my Balenciaga boots in spite - guess it’s time to cut its balls off.

In highschool I made simple static webpages for small businesses. No div tags, this was all <tr><td> all the way down.

One client was upset that the website was too 'liney' and wanted more 'pop' with a content management system and push updates for the same price.