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Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”
Me: “Yes, of course.”
Boss: “Great, thank you.”
Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”
Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”
Me: “Monday”.17 -
*client calls in*
Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.
*click*
😶32 -
This is fucking annoying with some clients.
Client calls:
Me: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem*
Me: *tells possible solution*
Client: you sound young, could you connect me to a more senior person?
Me: Sure.
Collegue: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem again*
Collegue: *gives same solution as me*
Client: Oh uhm but that's the same solution the boy I had on the phone before you told me.
Collegue: Yeah......?
Client: well he sounded so young...
Collegue: Being young does not equal being inexperienced/less knowing about something.39 -
Me: *Puts on headphones*
5 minutes later
College: Hey man you busy?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: I am, but what's the issue?
Help him, Put headphones back on.
5 minutes later
Intern: I need help
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Fine, I've got time
Help her, Put headphones back on.
Beginning to feel a little pissed.
5 minutes later
PM: Can i get your help quickly?
Me: Can i finish this quickly?
PM: It won't take long
Me: Fine.
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Help her out, put headphones back on.
An hour later
Team Leader: Are you done yet?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Almost
Team Leader: How can you not be done yet?
Me: Ask everyone around you?
He bitches for about 30 minutes.
I decide not to put my headphones on and just float in the river of how pissed i am.
4 Fucken hours goes by, nobody wants jack shit.
Me: *Puts headphones on*
5 minutes later
Team Leader: Hey man can you help me out?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Sure Fine.
FUCK!!! EVERY! FUCKEN TIME!!!30 -
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Hi IT, I can't enter to my computer, i put my password and it says it's incorrect.
Me: Ok, hold me a few.
(10 seconds without do anything)
Me: Try again.
User: It worked! Thanks!!2 -
Client: We want a mobile shooting game with multiplayer, In-app purchases, leaderboard and stuff and you should also help us in publishing it.
Me: Cool what’s you budget?
Client: max $100.
I never replied again.16 -
Hi sir i have a problem can you please teamview in and help
Me: sure no problem
Login....
Are you there ....
Hello whats the problem
40min later
Sorry i went out for lunch
😤😤😤😤😤7 -
If you name your methods a, b, c, x, z, etc
Then I hate you.
If the idiot wants me to help then use proper method names!23 -
He: Hey could you please help me with my code?
Me: mhmm ok..
He: I've made this and this and this and this...aaand this and this and... Oh that is the problem. Thx for your help bro.
I'm proud to be a rubber duck.6 -
Me: good morning, what can I help you with?
Client: I THINK REMOVED SOMETHING AND NOW ALL MY EMAIL IS GONE. HELP.
M: okay sir, do you have the domain for m....
C: HEY WAIT IT'S BACK NEVER MIND THANKS BYE
M: Oh tha....
*click*
😆5 -
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Sorry, i can't upload a picture for my profile. It shows a popup saying that i already uploaded it.
Me: it's because you uploaded.
User: Awesome man, thanks.4 -
This is Why I give IT support so much respect.
Friend: my computer stopped working can you help?
Me: (porn...again) fine I'll help.
Friend: come over when your ready
Me: Be there tomorrow bro
Next day.....
Me: where is your desktop
Friend: upstairs, I tried everything man
Me: look at the monitor... look at the hp piece of shit.. see green light on... look back at the monitor...no light... look at my friend.
Friend: 😕
Me:😪
Friend:😳
Me: look behind the desk...
Friend: 😰
Me: 😪your monitor is unplugged
Friend: 😅
Me: fuck you lose my number4 -
"So what got you in to development and programming?"
Me: well. I needed something to new to help with my depression, stress and anger.
"Oh cool. Did it help?"
Me: yes... They're so much stronger now.4 -
Dude: Come on man, Google and/or Facebook are not actively listening to us, I mean, we're not terrorists.
Me: Ok, Google
Google Asistant: How can I help you?
Dude: ._.4 -
Me typing
git rebase --help
GF: What!? Oh... nevermind it says rebase. I thought it said rebae.
Me: What?
GF: I'm the only bae you need in your life!
Me: ... This is going on devrant.2 -
That awkward moment when you tell your gf you want a rubber duck for your birthday present but you mistyped it.
Gf: "Sweetie, what gift do you want for your birthday?"
Me: "a rubber dick would be fantastic! it'll help me debug things"
Gf: "Ok... if you say so..."8 -
There are times when being "friendly neighbor it guy" pays back.
I have a neighbors, their son is little less intelligent than average person after being injured in accident, I help them from time to time. He gets the pc trashed with adware, usual stuff, they ask me to clean it up.
Recently I broke my arm. They offered to cook for me until I recover to full health... Seriously, that's huge help when you live alone and spend most time working. I'm glad to have them.
Wanted to share with you guys, there are people who appreciate your help with their pc and can give back if you're in need.3 -
Every single time:
Me: CTRL+S
Sublime Text: Would you like to purchase a license now?
Me: Cancel
Me: CTRL+S (again)
Pretty sure the last one is not needed, but can't help!15 -
I worked at a place where the help desk guys did the good ol' "I'll send an email from your laptop if you walk away without locking it and tell everyone lunch is on you" routine. After it happened to me about 3 times I was like, "I gotta get this help desk prick back!" So after several failed attempts at walking by his pc when he walked away it instantly hit me how I can punk him back.....SO, I logged onto SQL Server, clicked open a new query window and typed up a dbmail command and on the @from parameter I set it to the help desk guy's email address. His face was PRICELESS when I was shooting off emails to the entire IT dept on behalf of him WHILE he was sitting in front of his PC. Lesson is: don't fuck with dev help desk dude! 😎😜2
-
Chat with user:
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: IT please come to my place i don't have internet connection and i need to finish my work, please please come quickly
Me: Are you in your computer?
User: Yeah.
Me: Amm, and how are you chatting with me?2 -
Guys I've been working on this site for months now. Can you help me and test it? (Write me your feedback on comments pls)
Link: https://localhost:808013 -
Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.
Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.
Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*
Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.
Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.
Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.
Me: *more flashbacks*
Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this
Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.
Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.
This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore7 -
Friend: i need to do a game for my final project, can you help me out?
Me: sure, what language?
Friend: english
Me: ...2 -
Other guy: Hello! I need your help! I don't have my password for my gmail ! Help!
Me: Okay, ... (proceed to guide him where to recover the passwords), Now enter you email in.
Other guy: Well i don't remember it either, Help me get my email.
Me: ...
Fml7 -
Dear children let's talk about how to ask a f***ing question.
You don't just go "I need help. I can't figure it out." We had trainings on this, I sat through 3 hours holding your hand to help you try and understand things.
And yet now we have scheduled another 3 hours to help you figure this out because you said you were having difficulty with it because you couldn't figure it out. How about instead of just saying you "Need help", you start by
1. Explaining what you are trying to accomplish
2. What specific issue are you facing? Is there an error message or something?
3. What have you already tried thus far that didn't work?
Instead of "I NEED HELP I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!" that is the sign of a lazy f****ing engineer, someone who doesn't want to think, who doesn't want to learn something new who wants to just coast by. Especially when this is going to become an increasingly important part of your job.
And of course you currently are still a whole job level above me because sitting around and keeping a chair warm for 10 years means you are a valuable contributor, instead of what you can actually DO!
This bugs me so much. So remember kids, when you need help, or need to ask a question, ASK IT THE RIGHT F****ING WAY!6 -
My PM: I don't like when you get up and help out other colleagues with their problems on their computer. You're not at their service.
Me: okay, I'll refrain from doing so.
The next day, I arrive 5 minutes before 8, I get myself a coffee, talk with a few colleagues, and:
PM: Hey, can you please come and help me review this email?
Me: ** fuck it, I still have 2 minutes ** Yeah I'm coming
PM: Now please.
Me: ...
Also my PM, 5 minutes later: Hey I don't manage to print my document, can you help me?
Me: ...
10 minutes later, I get a call:
PM: did you call XY about ZX?
Me: Yep, sent you a mail about it 2 minutes ago
PM: Really? I don't see it
Me: I sent it.
PM: Can you send it again?
Me: ...
Later that day:
PM: Hey, what are you up to?
Me: Well, I'm working on our improved websi-
PM: Can you please create a new campaign on Mailchimp? We're all under water here and a bit of cooperation from you would be great
Me: ** huh? ** erm, ok?
PM: Do it now
Me: Yeah yeah, don't worry. ** click ** here, done. Now, where was I...
----- PM on holidays
Other colleague from another department: Hey Phlisg! I have a small problem on our platform, can you help me?
Me: ** writes a script to help her out **
Her: awesome, thank you!!
Her own PM, 5 minutes later: Hey! Thank you very much for your help, it helps us out a real lot, very much appreciated :)
I lost my smile at work since the beginning of the year, but that little help I gave my colleague just gave my smile back to me :D14 -
Friend: My C code's not working.. Can you please help me debug?
TA: *puts a space before a semicolon*
TA: *Changes "i++" to "i=i+1"*
😤😤😤5 -
!rant
Dear DevRant Users,
Thank you for being such an amazing group. You make me feel less shitty, more confident, and generally happier. You help me fight off the looming depression, keep me motivated, and help keep me focused on the of being the best programmer I can. Thank you.6 -
Coworker: "can you help me with this thing?"
Me: "sure, what have you tried so far"
Them: "nothing yet"
Hdhajsgrbeiry JUST TRY _SOMETHING_ AT LEAST BEFORE ASKING FOR HELP.
It's literally your job to solve problems, not get other people to solve them for you.
Asking for help if you don't understand something is one thing, but constantly trying to get people to show you exact examples is not doing your job.
This has been a chronic problem with one of our devs and despite advising them multiple times on it, it continues to happen.12 -
I like when a recruiter calls, decides you're not experienced enough for the role they called for, and immediately ask if you know someone who is. Sure, bro, let me help do your job for you.4
-
During a random meeting for a project:
PM: We'll need you to learn Go for this project. It says you know python in your job skills, so it should be easy.
Me: Uh, hiiii. I'm in security, not development. Can't help you, I really shouldn't even be here.
PM: I think Go has security built-in, does that help?
Me: ... I don't know, you need a developer.
PM: Do you know any Go people?
Me: I think that's something you should know.
- Silence enters the room -
PM: Yes perhaps, but you don't know anyone?
Fucking wat?8 -
*me calling ISP*
ISP: hello, how may i help you?
Me: got no connection... you guys maintaining something again from your side?
*30 minutes later*
ISP: we'll check the problem from our end and email u wgat we find
Me (poker face): bit i have no internet :|9 -
Grandma:you studying programming so you good with computers?
Me: yes?
Grandma:can you help me with a serious computer problem?
Me: Okay?
Grandma:I can't seem to post a picture on Facebook.
Me: 😐4 -
Thank you to all the mentors out there! My mentor has the patience of a saint and really helps me understanding everything much better.
You guys help more than you realize!
1 -
>Answered my first question on SO
>Comment: "It's a wrong answer"
>Me: "Do you mind telling me why, so i can fix it? It could still help the op"
>
>
>
I see. You were quick to tell me I was wrong, but don't tell me why. Alright then.8 -
*peacefully coding*
Family: can you help me connect to WiFi?
*5 mins later*
Friend: help, how do I download this program?
*5 mins later*
Family: fix my computer, it’s really slow!!
When did I go from programmer to IT help desk?4 -
With much help from a friend here (an unofficially related app, so I'm unsure of username here), I successfully dual booted my laptop to Arch Linux.
Tried Debian, but must have missed something, because it tried to format my whole SSD, which isn't good since my work software only works in windows.
Going to be a change, but I'm kind of excited. To the friend who helped me, I appreciate you and how late you stayed up to help me troubleshoot ❤7 -
Person: How are you?
Me: *googles,,, 'how to respond to a how are you questions'*
Me to Me: What is happening to me???!! I need help!!!
Also Me: *Posts about it on devrant*12 -
~March 7~
Boss: Hey cory, guess what, you will not take control of the servers anymore so you can focus on your real job, the company hire someone to do it
Me: Great, finally i can just program, thanks for the news boss
~Yesterday~
Boss: Hey cory, guess what, the person the company hired needs help to migrate some servers so you need to help him on weekend
Me: Well, it's ok i can do the job
~Today~
Director: Hey mr cory, we need you to help jonny on weekend
Me: Fine boss, i will be on weekend
Director: That's the attitude we need in the company, I do not know how much time you need but we're going to pay you 24 extra hours
Me inside ~every went better than expected~ 🤷♂️4 -
Jr: I'm having a problem with my environment, can you help me?
Me: Sure! Did you switch to the latest Ubuntu LTS
so that your environment matches the rest of the dev team like you were asked to do the last 3 times?
Jr: No, I like Windows better because linux is too complicated. Can you just figure out how my environment is suppose to work and than fix what I did wrong please?
Me: No. Let me know if you ever need help with the our standard dev environment. Good luck!24 -
I coded for a whole day (uninterrupted, literally woke up, grabbed my laptop and headphones and started) and suddenly, let wild parent shows up.
"Aren't you going to go out? You need to see some friends"
My response: As stated before, I have no friends, now leave
**Leaves**
**Comes back 2 hours later**
"Hey can you help me with my computer?"
Me: you didn't state the issue, what computer, what os, what you have done to fix it, have you even tried rebooting?
"Don't talk like that to me! Now come and help me!"
Me: nope, hint, answer the questions about your issue
"You rude piece of..."
**Starts screaming bla bla bla**
Wow, it has happened before that I treat people wanting help like me trying to debug, but I usually correct myself. I took it way to fucking far this time...15 -
My study's logic every fucking time: (I'm a senior by the way)
Junior: Sir, could you help me out for a minute?
Teacher: I'm busy right now, please fill out the support request form and go ask one of the seniors (yeah, not even kidding)
Junior: Alright, hey dude, could you help me out maybe?
Me: yeah of course, just get your laptop and go sit here next to me!
Other Teacher: Hey you, leave the seniors alone, they've got their own work!
2 -
I asked for a screenshot to help me assist with the problem.
I got an image inside a Microsoft Word document attached to a Facebook message.
COULDN'T YOU JUST ATTACK THE FUCKING IMAGE INSTEAD2 -
Designer Friend: Yeah, WordPress is a good tool of making website. I don't need your help next time.
Me: ... So how the hell can you setup a WordPress environment?2 -
Boss: "is it done yet?"
Me: "I've been telling everyone we have a problem and I need all hands on deck. I've already analyzed the issue and explained it to you and the options but YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DECIDE or I decide and probably break things along the way..."
Why does everyone ignore me when I need help but are ok asking me when they need help?
/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻4 -
a friend asks...
Friend: Hey I have this website and I'm having a problem, can you help me?
Me: surre what is it?
Friend: So I have this WordPress plugin..
Me (interrupts): Sorry I can't help you, your site is doomed -
Client: "Help me I can't find my programs"
Me: "Have you installed them right?"
Client: "Yes, I have"
Basically I spent an hour explaining him that dragging an installer from the download folder to program folder isn't actually installing...6 -
Was explaining a technical concept at a "family" dinner. Suddenly stepmother wanted my help for something technical.
Stepmother: Say Awlex, could you help me install some software I recently bought?
Me: (Not this shit again) I even don't know what software you're talking about. How is the software called, what does it do?
Sm: it's calles digital... *long pause*
Me: (I don't like where this is going)
Sm: software... *another long pause*
Me: (fuck me harder than that lightly clothed woman outside)
Sm: something... *long pause*
Me: (alright brain, which way out of here doesn't involves me creating a bullet hole in either one of us?)
Sm: And you can use it to sell something...
Me: (tf do you event sell?!)
Sm: but not like ebay
Me: (what is it then? A platform for selling services? I don't even know what kind of software you'd have to install, given that most of these platforms are be web applications, whcih makes sense for selling stuff on the internet)
Sm: Anyway, could you help me install it? It would take me hours to get into it.
Me: (You think just installing would solve it? As soon as I install it, you probably expect me to be your walking manual as well, don't you?) Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, since I started working I don't have nearly as much free time as I used to have (Not everybody works when they feel like it, you know that?) I get home at around almost 7pm (most of the time) and don't really wanna work afterwards. Most of the time there's a support service from the people who made this software and they would be glad to help you. (Sorry support team, for pushing this bundle of incompetence onto you, but I guess she didn't even listen to my advice).
After that she didn't back down and still wanted my help. Then my grandmother derailed the conversation and got me out of this. When I thanked her later she yold me that she saw I saw uncomfortable and wanted to help. I love my grandmother.
So I am not going to be your "family" tech support. You b(r)ought this onto yourself. Are more than twice my age and still can't use your brain to solve problems like these on your own and you can even less reason abiut your motives and desires when asking for help. I am sick of you and shutty opinions about people, just because I work as a software engineer doesn't mean I'm exist solely for satisfying your unreasonable desires.
Stop offending me and my profession and get yourself some common sense.
Protip #0: Give me one fucking reason to help you, because you're not family enough and your personality really doesn't bring forth any emotion but annoyance4 -
Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!
WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!3 -
Oh are you fucking kidding me?
Why the fuck do you need people to add you as a person who could view all my activities?
Why the fuck would I do so?
How does this help with network security
I might be wrong. In that case please correct me
13 -
Received a new client.
"Hi can you help me redesign my website?"
Me: "Sure what's your sites URL?"
(Checking out site before I take clients)
C: "127.0.0.1"5 -
When someone you know asks for a favour..
"Hey I have this wordpress website & heard you know PHP, could you help me out with this 1 plugin? :)))"
1 -
Can't believe a student, that got higher grade in Database Management System, asked me
"How do you connect 2 Tables in SQL?"
Well I did help her, but please...
"STACKOVERFLOW"8 -
Client: Help me to build a really simple website. The deadline is next week.
Me: Okay!
<a href="https://www.wix.com">Simple Site</a>
Done! And you are welcome4 -
Tomorrow is my 19th birthday and I'm very excited about it. 😀🎂
Wanted to do something special as a computer geek but wasn't sure.
Hope you can help me !
Thanks 👍16 -
Task estimated for 2 days
*Half day later*
🤡 : Have you done it?
Me : No, I told you it would take 2 days
*Day later*
🤡 : Have you done it? Do you need any help?3 -
Intern: "Hey Awlex, this function I'm using doesn't work. Can you help me?"
Me: "This function doesn't do what you are expecting. Did you even look at the docs for this function?"
Intern: "No."
Me: "... then start with that"11 -
New rule: if you come to me for tech help and didn't try turning it off and on, don't even bother.6
-
Me vs Facebook support
Me: I'm having trouble with xyz even though I followed your instructions. You have problems with the Arabic language*insert very detailed and professional explanation here with links*
FB Support: please follow the instructions here *insert link*
Me: I already followed those, that's why I'm asking for your help. Please provide detailed instructions.
FB Support: We can't help you, we don't provide detailed instructions, please follow instructions provided in said links.
Why the fuck are you called support then huh? I can read the damn documentation.. Hell I get paid for reading the motherfucking documentation!!3 -
*enters in restaurant*
After 15sec new notification
*Write your review for this place, to help others*
At least let me see the godamn Menu first.
Fuck you google3 -
Client: Can you help upgrade my machine to Windows 10?
Me: Sure
Client: I bought it in 2006, it still runs XP.
Me: Nevermind.
-
Colleague: I have an error in my application, can you help me?
Me: Sure
*walks next to him*
Me: So... What is it?
Colleague: Here, it won't run
*launches the application and runs perfectly*
Colleague: Tell me your secret senpai5 -
If it is lunch time and I have a sandwich stuffed halfway in my face, do not walk up to me with your computer asking for help. It doesn't take me long to eat so give me 3 fucking minutes to finish.
I will help you...I will touch your keyboard with my greasy fingers...I will touch your screen...multiple times.
You're welcome.3 -
*Me at class just trying to organize my directories and shit on the terminal*
My classmate: OMG you are a hacker! Can you pleas help me hack a Facebook account !!!
Fml....1 -
Friend: hey could you help me with buying / fixing xy?
Me: sure no problem, because I can appreciate being needed.
End of story2 -
"Aunt": I know that you have a bachelor's degree in computer science so you are smart with the computer...can you help me to pair new universal remote control for my television?1
-
Me: this App is not working ...
... Few minutes later ...
Me: Can someone help me?
Coworker approaches : Are you trying to modify the bundle.js file?
Me: ...
Coworker tells the whole team and they start laughing at me 🤦♂️9 -
Me: Can I ask you something today? Are you available?
Senior dev: If you help me move to my new desk, then yes.
In the end he didn't even help me.... U.U3 -
Friend: « Can you help me do the js part of my paid contract for free ? »
Me: Yeees, sure, I am not going to do that, never3 -
Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?
If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.8 -
One of the most hated things by me in my entire Internet using experience is guys who comment on blogs and forums saying "Pls send me help/full code for this: my email is X and my number is Y"
Grow up guys. The admin is not your slave to send you personal help on an email.
It's so damn embarrassing I'm starting to hate my nationality.2 -
Help me solving this logical puzzle. I'm dumb as fuck.
You need to find the logical link to get the missing number.
9 -
You came to me with a problem, and I have the solution. I'm working with you to achieve a goal not for you.
I don't need you, you need me.
I've been using the above statement for a little over two years. Has been working pretty well. Might not apply to or help everyone but it sure helps me.3 -
Does music help you or does it distract you from coding?
It mostly distracts me, but sometimes helps me when I'm doing simple UI work etc. Or when I want to block normal people (even quietly) sitting or waddling around.10 -
What is up with people asking for help and then immediately getting pissy like the first fuckin thing you say?
Shut the fuck up and let me help you, damn.9 -
Me : I'm afraid of booleans. My friend said that you can help me !
Therapist: ya, that's TRUE
Me: 😥😐4 -
New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
BI dev: Hey, can you help me with my SQL query?
Me: Sure, let me see it.
BI dev: sends screenshot - not even the whole query, literally a screenshot with a segment of text in it. No errors showing either.
Me: ...7 -
My manager: Hey don't be afraid to ask the team for help if you feel blocked on a task.
Also my manager when I ask for help: I think you need to understand the task better before you ask for help.
WTF! Make up your mind. Do you want me to make progress or not? Freaking sucks being the new guy. 😑3 -
Coworker: hi
Me: hi
... 3 hours later ...
C: hi
M: how can I help?
...
C: hi
M: HAVE YOU EVER USED COMMUNICATOR IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT IN FIRST MESSAGE, DONT WAIT FOR ME TO HI YOU BACK, WHAT THE HELL HOW MANY TIMES A DAY YOU NEED TO GREET ME12 -
"A user got this error, can you help?"
Can you at least tell me WHERE you got the issue? How you got to that point? Anything??!?!?!?!?!?!?!3 -
Are there many people out there like me who don't subscribe to the whole "software to help you write software" malarkey? Resharper being a big one where I work!
Just give me a nice lean code editor.12 -
Old team that screwed me over now comes back being all nice to ask me for help...
Me: **fake smile** Hi... (what can I do for you monkeys)
Then proceeds to do a Google search and gives them a link... idiots....3 -
Friend: I'm making a benchmark programm for CPUs. Wanna help me?
Me: Yeah sure, what language are you using?
Friend: Java.4 -
Dear God please if you help me fix this merge conflict, I'll be a better person.....please
......please 😭8 -
I feel like "programmers are not computer technicians" joke is kinda overused lately. It doesn' matter if we are not technicians, we are very knowledgeable in computers and people knows that. People of course will try to get help from you when they can so it's not a wonder that they ask you to help with something they are not confident. Everyone that exercises practical professions lives through that. If your sister-in-law is a mathematician it's normal to ask for help if you are not able to come up with the right algorithm for the task. People depend on each other. That's how we survive.
But I'm not saying start helping everybody that can't open a pdf file. Just know who to choose to help. If they are a capable person or someone that's a part of your everyday life they will most likely repay you when you are also in need. Believe me everyone needs help time to time.3 -
trying to install devkitARM:
>don't wanna install pacman for one special snowflake library
>download source
>sh some-bad-buildscript.sh
"can't extract /-.tar"
>???
>report issue
"lol just use pacman skrub"
>I DON'T WANNA FUCKING USE PACMAN YOU TROGLODYTE, MAYBE HELP ME WITH BUILDING SOURCE?????
"nah, just use pacman, it'd be dumb to provide a copy for every package manager"
>EVERYONE ELSE DOES THAT. YOU ARE THE EXCEPTION, NOT EVERYONE ELSE.
*fucker marks issue as spam, doesn't help me*
i'm gonna fucking stab somebody i swEAR TO FUCK
https://github.com/devkitPro/...
Turns out i'm banned from making another issue to try and ACTUALLY GET HELP THIS TIME.
"You can't perform this action at this time" isn't fooling anyone, GitHub, we all know what happens when you get errors like this7 -
She asked for it...
Me: being happy with my first rant, scrolling through the app on mobile in bed
Gf: aah are you now on instagram for nerds?!
Me: ... (sudden realization how 'our world' may be perceived by muggles)
'5 minutes pass, both on mobile'
Gf: hey can you help me get this *feature* to work on my iPhone?
Me: why don't you can ask for help on your photo platform for cool people?
Gf: ... (sudden realization to be nice in order to get help with iCrap)
True story4 -
OMG people please stop being so fucking lazy... help me help you... RN I have multiple support people asking me to fix a bug that they can't even describe (and honestly I doubt it exists) and a fellow developer who refuses to give me a DB or migration to test his patch but wants me to merge it urgently. FOH and die, y'all.20
-
!rant
If you don't even know what MySQL is, fuck off and let me do my job. Don't insist that you can't find the solution to the problem. That's why I'm here. Your incompetence and persistence are slowing me down and if you really want your stuff to be done on time, don't even dip your fingers into my codes. I know you may think that I need help, but your help is useless if you have zero knowledge and can't even understand the solutions given in stack overflow. I'm fine doing this on my own, so fuck off. Just. fuck. off.6 -
Received a complaint that the year dropdown list isn't far enough (ends at 2022). They wanted it to go all the way to 2027. My script handles this by getting the current year then add 5 to it and it generates the values in the dropdown list. All I had to do was change from '5' to '10' in the config puppet files. Contractually, any source code changes needs to be documented and informed to the client. I followed suit, documenting how I am going to make the change. This is new as it involves using git to commit the changes and pull it in the server that talks to the git server. This shouldn't take more than a minute to fix.
Submitted and wanted to finish this today. Client decided to wait til next week to complete the code change to fix the complaint. A work that can be done in a minute is now dragged to a week. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU -
Does anyone else ever pull up a site of a business you are at and think "oh honey...let me help you"?2
-
!rant, but some kind of story
I work as a lead dev on a gmod server of a pretty big german community. With the fun stuff, there come the duty‘s to help Jr. Devs or even help people get into Developing. The part, where you help junior devs is always fun, but what I find interesting is the part where you help people learn coding. It’s not easy work, but you learn more every “lesson”. I catch myself exploring and learning something new, even if I know the topic. For me it’s a new journey every time.
Not sure if there are many people who can relate but I just wanted to tell my side on it.1 -
Friend: oh so you are a programmer?
Me: yeaaa..
Friend: great! Im having problem with the wifi connection on my phone.. Can you help me fix it?
Me: (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ2 -
WTF IS SUPPORT FOR?
A: Can you help fix X?
B: Can you help Y?
C: I see Z just crashes, fix it.
Me (in my mind): Can you tell me WTF is the actual problem and what investigation you have done?
Why the fuck are we paying you monkeys?
My company should just pay me all your salaries, and I will write a monitoring system to send out these types of "alerts" in a month.4 -
Client is setting up Google Suite, needs me to create a TXT record. She sends me a screenshot of the record that needs to be created, so I ask her to copy/paste the record values .... she copy and pastes the URL and sends that to me. I ask again for her to copy the values in the fields on the page and send them to me ... she sends me another screenshot. How do these people get through a day?3
-
person: do you know any sites that can help with blah blah blah
me: yea one sec
me: here ya go https://blahblah.blah
person: is this a virus ?
me: no it's a site that will help you with blah
person: i'm not gonna click on that because i don't wanna get a virus.
me: but it's not a virus you can't get a virus just by clicking a link you would actually have to download something and execute it.
person: oh okay but i still don't trust it
me: uhhh okay
person : so are you gonna help me or what ?
me : ..................*scream internally*
person: okay fine your not gonna help me8 -
yo canada WHAT THE FUCK
that kid who asked me for help
the ministry or w/e got back to me
"we cannot help this child as their abusers were deemed untouchable"
FUCK DO YOU MEAN UNTOUCHABLE12 -
I'm thinking of tattooing "reload the fucking debug-config you giant moron" on both of my arms and giving away all my long-sleeved shirts to charity to help me become a better programmer.
-
me: Dad I got a job! It's...
dad: great! you can help pay mortgage!
me: oh shit, should have said nothing..1 -
Co-worker: I'm so tired of working on Wordpress sites! I didn't go to school just to do this all day!
Me: well you can help me with this Magento site...
Co-worker: ...3 -
When you have to call me to help you set up your Minecraft server, you shouldn't run a Minecraft server. As easy as it is.
-
Yesterday
Me : Hey, I'd like to do a pull request, but there's something that might not help, you think you can help me solving it before I finish that task ?
Worker : *no response at all*
Today
Worker, by mail : Hey could you do a pull request ?
Me : ... 凸(⊙▂⊙✖ ) thanks for answering my question, edgy bitch1 -
the boat was sinking in the middle of the sea,
athlete: I can swim my way out,can you?*
dev: no, but I can write code for "help me!" in 10 languages -
The internet: “hey - I need help with my assignment”
Me: “sit down and work through it - and if you can’t... get a better teacher”6 -
I just remembered an annoying experience I once had,
Wanted to know cli version asap (due to some bug introduced in a certain version):
-v (output: view --help for command)
--version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: -version)
Wanted to know it's dependency version:
-version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: version)
You could call me lazy for not always typing --help first but there must be a standard for this time sensitive command.1 -
That very "awesomeee" moment when you have to create a website to a new startup which are using all the right buzzwords such as blockchain, AI and machine learning... (wuhuuu)
Btw. will you help a fellow dude by answering my survey for my final paper?
https://goo.gl/forms/...
Thank you!
- and it took a whole year for me (and some desperation for help) to write my first ever post on here :p4 -
"Hey I have problems - can you help me?"
"Hi. What are they?"
"God! Geez... I was just asking for help. No one ever helps me never mind."2 -
Making a game, 8bit action adventure loot based dungeon based fun! I'm new at programming as well if you could help me I'd help you! So hmu! 🙂6
-
Stickers came today. Thank you guys @
@
Please help me find the 2 guys I should thank for that. YES I FORGOT THEIR NAMES.
5 -
What’s with all these people saying, “reach out to help for me anytime!” - but when you actually ask for help, they never respond? Like damn looks like I can’t trust ya cad ass anymore.4
-
Colleague: "Hey, how do you scan the document from the printer to my laptop?"
"Hey, how can you help me to open the pdf?"
..
Why are devs treated like office boys/girls4 -
Boss: "Drop everything and help us test this application, right now!"
Me: "The environment isn't even configured properly.."
Boss: "yeah, we'll get to it"
Fuck you, Monday.1 -
Me: Ah, that solved my problem. Let me share what worked for me by adding a comment to the already posted solution. Seeing that the solution didn't completely solve my particular issue, maybe it will help another poor soul.
Stack Overflow: You need a reputation of 50 to comment. You're reputation is only 25, you are crap and nobody wants to hear your solution that could "help another poor soul". It would probably just add clutter and help nobody. You are crap and nobody likes you. Good day to you." -
There was this time I had to help a friend of a friend. He was like "Hey, can you help me with some server stuff."
"Sure!"
(*Proceeds to give me a remote desktop connection to a windows server with a Ubuntu VM*)
.... Err.....2 -
Yeah sure, drown me in administrative work and then plan to hire another dev to help because I can't keep up.
Are you kidding me?
F*cking hire someone for the KPI and that stuff!2 -
When you picked your next laptop on the internet but you still go to the local store to see how it looks and feels in real life and the store girl approaches and asks you if she can help with something? You respond: No, thank you. But what you actually mean: No you can't help me, you drone. I could program an app in half a day that would be more useful and helpful than you.8
-
There are two kinds op people. People who like to help because they feel sorry for you, and people who want to help to proof themselves.
The second one is annoying as fuck. Even though i asked for help, it doesn’t mean you are better in it then me.
You should listen to what i have to say. Stuck up anti social asshole.7 -
I'm thinking of making a project that will help me during the upcoming school year. Pretty much an assistant that can fetch quick answers from google and a few other basic tasks. What projects have you guys done with your work? P.S. I might want one or two people to also contribute so comment down below if you'd like to help (won't be open source)6
-
There is someone behind me who literally types so hard that I think they keyboard will break...
Pressing every key as hard as you can won't help ffs....1 -
Did you know “Agile” actually means “Never change code”?
Neither did I until I started working here haha help me9 -
D: I can't get my files to my D drive
C: And you want me to help you with that?
D: Yes! You know how to do that
C: How about you move your files from your F:\ to your U:\ drive -
I can't recall one single person I can call a mentor, however...
When I first started as a developer I had a senior to work with... I knew close to anything but I was always good at research and learning on my own... But we used an asp.net framework, it was new and there was little to no useful information, only basics... When I asked the senior (let's call him Joe) for help he gave me a quick answer:
Joe: Go to file xx, there's an example of what you need there...
Me: Well, been there and that's great but it doesn't help...
Everytime I was stucked during my first week it was always some sort of the same, so I insisted this time...
Me: so, Joe... I'm really stuck on this one, can you give it a look?
Joe: I know, I've been researching a way to do it for an hour now and can't get it either...
Me: wow! Thanks... But I thought you were an expert on this...
Joe: not really, never used it before. It's as new to me as it is to you! :)
So, that switched me from "this fucking weasel won't help me for shit" to "well, let's help each other"
We became good friends, always challenging each other and from that day on I stopped asking for help, and asking where can I help others...
I had great and greatly bad colleague and seniors. Each one thought me something either what to do or what not to do, how to act or not, how to tackle problems, how to teach...
Everyone I have worked with, worked for or trained is a mentor of mine. Even those I feel like I failed training thought me how to do better next time...
Thank you guys for being grate... Thank you assholes for teaching me how to send a guy go fuck himself! Good luck for those who get stucked with me -
Dear client. Your web development project budget has no room in it for me to help you fix your broken POP3 mail settings. May the odds be ever in your favor.1
-
!rant
I'm a computer engineering student.
I'm very much interested in Systems and networking.
That's why I was thinking of persuing cyber-security as a career option.
But I'm not quite sure if that is a good choice.
Also I don't know how to proceed in order to achieve excellence in cyber-security.
It would be a great help if you guys could help me.
Thanks :)20 -
Is it mean to tell someone you can't help them with their coding problem because you can't take the way they smell?
A coworker of mine has some major BO mixed with cigarette smoke and it makes it hard to focus as I try to help me.
Am I an asshole?14 -
Dear Client,
Proper English sentence structure, the kind that accurately conveys what you mean to ask me to do for you, requires a subject and a predicate. To hearken back to “Schoolhouse Rock”, if Mr. Morton is the subject of my sentence, then what the predicate says, he does. Mr. Morton walks. Mr. Morton talks. Etc.
Just tossing out random nouns and verbs in random order in an email will not help me to help you.
Sincerely,
Mr. Morton -
What do you guys do, if you don’t know which keywords to google for your particular problem ?
Wish me luck, I tried to ask on Stackowerflow.
If I’m not responding later, send help!6 -
I just mistakenly replaced 48 hours of work with the old files... I think i'm gonna die. Someone please help me if you can.7
-
"The Marketplace has extensions that can help with '.disable' files"
Humor me VSCode Marketplace... what fucking extension do you recommend for my '.disable' file today?6 -
"I'm imploring you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition." slightly modified quote
3 -
-Week before final project presentation.
Classmate: Dude, can you help me for our project? Its website.
Me: Sure, what you used?
Classmate: ASP. NET
Me: Ok....I don't know much about it but let me see.
Classmate: No, I just want your help with flowchart, sequence diagram and use case diagram.
Me: ..................
*in mind: how the fuck m supposed to do that shit I don't even know much about your website*
(still I drew few basic flowcharts for them) -
Conspiracy theory:
There is no parent CSS selector because Google effectively controls web standards, and if that existed then it would be extremely easy to hide ads, ruining their business model. Do you a-- help help they've got me hehgxh dry jvcgk cc d3 -
Me: "Yeah so I have this problem, I generated an environment and setup a NodeJS docker image on it and it returns "Cannot find public IP address", help"
SO: "Yeah but what are you trying to achieve? Here is a link of the documentation everyone saw and that didn't help at all."
Me: "I just want to... reach the fucking server? Without trouble? Please?"
Some people need some cocaine in they morning coffee, if it can help then open their fucking eyes -
When you get that customer's customer who forgets what the email is about:
-customer's customer was complaining they couldn't see a thing on some website-
Me: "That reference number didn't work... can you give me another reference number or something that might help find the thing?"
Customer's Customer: "I'm sorry but you're going to be more specific, I can't help you without a reference number."
-It appears customer's customer thinks I'm asking them for help now... let's see if...-
Me: "Never mind, close ticket."
Customer's Customer: "Ok!"
-me closes ticket-
┐(´ー｀)┌3 -
Getting requirements from my dad for a brochure for his company.
"Just make a pdf, 5-6 pages"
"You can take the pictures from these other two pdfs"
"Write some good sentences"
....
Help me.4 -
Hello guys. Im new to programming I know some basic c and c++ . I was hoping if someone could help me with some sites to learn new programming languages. Thank you.7
-
Hello guys, I need your help.
Recently we purchased new property for our company. And we are about to start working there in few days.
And now we are searching quotes to stick on wall there.
Can you guys help me with this?
Please suggest me some quotes.16 -
Either "He's addicted, he only plays on the Computer" or "Hey, you know some things, can you help me repairing my Computer?"
-
Today I basically threatened my whole team that if they weren't going to help me take a backup (somehow don't have access issues to the machines) I would just deploy the thing and if it crashes then just fck it...
I already busted my ass for a whole week on top of other issues and you can't even help me run a few simple commands...1 -
Quick question. How do i get myself to believe that I am good enough. I am good at what I do people tell me and i really want to move towards part time lecturing but the idea terrifies me... But i really want to help others and currently just being needed when others need me doesnt make me feel i am able to help others enough..
In short, how do you deal with an internal problem with wanting to help but being afraid others wont take ke seriously.4 -
"hey, can you help me doing this on the phone?"
"hey, do you know what,'s wrong with my computer "
And so on...
I am no tech support.
First world problems, I know 😑 -
friend : can you help me modifying my client's website? It's a company profile website so no complicated stuff.
me : let me see...
*it's bulit on opencart*
me : wtf
friend : exactly 😂1 -
Me vs. Code Moocher:
CM: Hey, did you do the Chapter 6 homework?
Me: Did You...?
CM: Yes... (with confidence but an odd pause) But it doesn't work.
Me: Sorry I'm not done with it either I can help you.
I hate people like this. He could've asked me for my help or waited to ask the Prof.
But he outright asked for my work. It wouldn't be the first time.
FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF MOTHERFUCKER!!!4 -
Can't you just use your brain before coming to me for help??!!! The button says "use another account" so, yes, it is the correct thing to click if you want to USE ANOTHER ACCOUNT!!!
-
Co-worker that is non-tech oriented:
"So what do BI developers do?"
Me:
"Well...." start simple then get uber complicated.
Co-worker:
"Oh ok cool. Well my LAN isn't working, can you help me?" -
I have this one friend of mine, he lives in another city but he asked me to help him out with programming, the problem is , the guy is impossible to help.
Just yesterday I was to help him install ruby on Ubuntu, he texts me saying he is getting an error, I ask him to send me a screenshot , he says he's working on it, now he has been stuck for two days, who can tell him he doesn't have to die installing ruby, and you don't have to suffer every error you get and getting help doesn't mean you ain't learning.3 -
User: "help pls! Cant login! Works on my notebook but not on the clients"
Me: "Sure. Have you tried entering your username and password?"
*finally resets password. Problem solved*
ASSHOLE -
Me: *pastes error message into search engine* && *clicks first result*
First Result: Hey I have a problem with *this error*
Thread replies:
Same
Me too
Same here, anybody know how to fix it?
Help me
This has been irritating me for the past 2 minutes, somebody please help
Me: *replies "same" on a two year old thread*
Fuck you.5 -
Any FL Studio 12 users here?
I am struggling to make the super simple Piano Roll to work.
If you want to help me about 5 mins, please leave a comment.
Thanks!11 -
How do you guys get LinkedIn recruiters to annoy you? I want to be annoyed too - I reckon it would help me find places that are hiring7
-
@dfox, there's still occasionally some weird stuff happening when my phone is on rotate. (Sadly I don't know how I did this.)
I'd be glad to help if you need anything from me.
11 -
So, A very close friend of mine is a fellow computer science student. But she has no interest in coding. Mostly because she never tried it. Is there any post or video that can help her find a motivation.
I know that interest comes from within, but set that aside for a while and help me out with something that inspired you.13 -
Microsoft resurrects Clippy. “I see you’re having an existential crisis. Would you like me to help you write your last will and testament?”
https://zdnet.com/article/... -
Co-worker: My local Weblogic instance doesn't work when my IP changes :c
Me: Lemme help you with that.
Me: *tries bunch of stuff and nothing* Weird...
Me: *checks his hosts file, localhost is mapped to old IP* KILL YOURSELF OR I WILL.1 -
Hey guys, I am implementing some integration tools for Blokchains and planning to make it SaaS ( Software as a Service ). The biggest problem for me is to generate a unique name for that project. Can you help me?3
-
Hacktoberfest ist starting!
You can get a free Tshirt when contributing!
More info @ https://hacktoberfest.digitalocean.com/.........
btw I seem to be to stupid to find anything I could help with, so no shirt for me = /3 -
When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.
4 -
So I help I help this guy with setting up a Ruby Api backend for free.. First mistake,
Guy: hey you want something in return like LinkedIn endorsements.
Me: sure that be cool!
Guy endorses me for HTML...
Guy: your welcome!!!
Me: wtf.. HTML???
Guy: Dude your so ungrateful.1 -
Please Santa, fix all my bugs for Christmas!
(i know it's a lot, i'm also happy if you help me with a half) -
I have job interview next week! Do you have any advice that can help me? :) (position: FrontEnd Dev)9
-
All facebook group about web development is
- can you help me with my wordpress site
- how i can change my domaine name
- need help with e-commerce on wordpress
And other
Im there to follow new web technologies not to be a support guy jessus .
Quit the group2 -
So 90% of the Tech Support team is off today. So I decided to jump in to help the guys out:
Me: *solves issue
(one less ticket to solve)
Reporter: "thank you for your help!"
(re-opens the ticket)
Me: *recloses the ticket
Reporter: "thanks again"
(Reopens ticket)
Me: smashes head into desk
How am I supposed to get tickets solved when most of the open tickets are "thank you's"! -
1. I wish you can help me find my Dev Jasmine
2. I wish she comes with Dev Abu/Iago
3. I wish you can be my friend Dev Genie
-
Wat do you all do when you reach that burn out phase after coding a lot?? Any way that can help me quickly jump back?1
-
I'm not real big on asking for help but I'm kinda nervous about applying for my first real programming gig. And I was hoping someone here would be willing to conduct a mock interview with me because I think it would help to get over my jitters and iron out where I might need to practice.
I'm applying for junior python and SQL based positions and I'd really appreciate if anyone would help me practice for an interview.
I'm available most hours Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and if you're willing you can contact me here or at email to setup a phone, screen share, or web interview.
My email is wisecrackdoesathing@protonmail.com6 -
Coworker 1 asked if there was a website where he can learn more about Formstack.
Coworker 2 said no.
Coworker 1 asked him then what about formstack itself? Is their website helpful? Do they have a help section?
Coworker 2: "Well there’s not really a websiiiiiite for help, but their main website has a page for help.”
Coworker 1: “can you send me a link?”
Coworker 2: "no. I mean I can, but I mean they don’t really have a help website, but just help on their website.”
Coworker 1: "WTF!"2 -
The moment your friends discover that you are web dev:
-Hey, can you help me with something?
-Yeah, what?
-I want to install Word, can you help me? I can give you the computer if you want
-... you can get it from the web page, and you have a student's discount...
-No no, I will buy it, and you can install it, ok?
What the hell is wrong with this world?1 -
question1: Are you a programmer?
answer: yes
question2: Can you repair my computer or format it?
answer: ...
what would you answer then pls help me?9 -
Can you help me with completing this survey about burnout?
I need some data to work with for a project on detecting burnout.
https://forms.gle/5NWoNo4uvzKiZjAs73 -
The happiness of finishing a project that put so much stress into you, best feeling ever.
10 minutes later...
Others in office: Oh you're done. Could you help us with
Me: No
Others: It's not a lo
Me: No.
At least give me time to catch a power nap.2 -
As you all know I'm no professional, I may still be called a noob. I need some help getting into machine learning and stuff. As most of you are gonna recommend some books. I'm making it clearly that I cannot afford books right now as my budget is already fucked up for the sake of a custom built Origin PC. I seriously want to get into that stuff. Help me my friends at Devrant.6
-
// new Rant("help needed!")
I really need some help guys! Would be nice if you could checkout
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
and help me out if possible :) Got some problems with ffmpeg on OS X not streaming https urls.
And if these kind of rants aren't supposed to be posted/created please tell me so. I am still not familiar with the overall flare of this community ;)8 -
Do any of you use Buffer? I'm thinking about creating an open source alternative to it, as ot would help me learn. Do you think building something like it makes sense?2
-
!rant
Yesterday my little brother sent me a screenshot of game called robotJS and asked for help. You can't imagine how happy I am that he tries to choose this way -
Find what resets you mentally and use it to your advantage. For me it's either a shower or a long walk (with music). Both help me relax and gather my thoughts so I can start fresh.
-
Trying to help my friend fix his Microsoft Office over the phone.
Friend: 'I seem to be having some trouble installing Office'
Me: 'What version are you trying to install?'
Friend: 'Windows 10' -
Short handed and your boss says can't you teach one of the tech support guys to help you out.
Me:...2 -
I got a new idea : I'm writing some python scripts to help me in my projects at school, I think it will help me a lot !
But I would like to code some scripts for my side-projects that are made using full JS.
NodeJS + Express + Sequelize for the Web API and ReactJS and HighlightJS for the client.
I would like to know if you could give me some ideas of scripts I could write for these JS side-projects ? -
QA. Could you please help me solve this issue?
Dev. That's Server side, nothing to do with me! *proceeds to signal issue as 'solved'* -
Jesus Fucking Christ can you just guess what the code is doing instead of me feeding it to you like a fucking baby. TRY TO HAVE SOME SORT OF INTUITION DAMNIT I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU SO YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS.2
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I am a huge fan of EmberJS and never tried ReactJS (i know it's lame haha :P) Let me know you guys opinion about Ember and React. It will be huge help when you tried both of them.1
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Please, help me find Node Open Source code that I can contribute to.
Kindly help me with a GitHub link for the OSS project on Node.js.
Thank you everyone :)3 -
Okay people I need help. I've researched a ton, but I can't really find a good answer. I'm trying to choose between Linux mint and Ubuntu. Now I know that there aren't any huge differences, but can you please help me, find out what would make you choose one over the other?8
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Any Vim users here?
Do you use Vim in VSCode and Jetbrains IDEs with ideavim?
If yes, Can you help me with some use cases? Thanks14 -
Well, after almost a year of doing self study and what not... I decided to enroll in a bootcamp. Partially to help keep me accountable, mostly to help with networking and making contacts in the industry around me. I'm really stoked for it in spite of skepticism. They do offer guaranteed job placement if you finish the course, which was a major selling point for me. I'm curious if anyone on here has attended one? Thoughts? Success stories? Horror stories? From the research I've done, seems like you get what you put into it.
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me: can you help me debug this issue in our artifactory server?
ops: we don't manage that server. devs do
me: can I get access to manage that server?
ops: why would you need access??
me: to manage server ಠ_ಠ
ops: exactly what commands you will need?
me: ಠ_ಠ -
A tale as old as time:
Customer: "This is wrong in all these X places!?!?!?"
-screenshots, panic, etc.-
Many emails and clarifications later we find out it is wrong ... in just ONE place ... and it wasn't even one of their initial examples.
Customer: "Why does this take so long to fix???"
Bro.... -
You're bugging me. I'd like to open an issue and fix -you- this. If you need help debugging feel free to ask, reflection might help.1
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Co-worker (in another department) has a friend in LA that hired someone in another country to build them an exact replica of another company's site. The developer is having trouble and he wants me to get on the phone with them for "just 5-10 minutes" to help them.
So- you refuse to support local business and freelancers to save money, then expect me to help you for free when they can't deliver. Got it.1 -
Junior Colleague: can you help me fix this small issue in my code? I believe it's located in this file...
Me: *spends half an hour deleting console.log, inline comments and blank lines*7 -
Do you think you should apply for a job you are probably not ready for to get work experience or wait till you get experience with learning?
Notes (small company, I am a student)
Please help me with this7 -
Should I point out on an interview, that I've been approached by other companies too? will that help me or not? what do you think?1
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I could go programming drones to kill my own people for money, like at least then I'd have a connection to my job
also programming drones sounds kind of fun
I used to really like pvp games. I also love unconventional RTS games. who wouldn't wanna make a real-world pvp RTS game interface, or automate an army of autonomous drones that could act on their own like it's a game of screeps
literally just so fun
if I was @ostream and an accelerationist...
either case if I go work somewhere and build them something great I have weird confusing PTSD emotions about it. to be honest making war machines somehow makes me less anxious about the idea. isn't it strange. I can't figure it out
you help people but they fuck you. at least if you're fucking people you'd accept being fucked in the process so you don't end up feeling anxious? I don't know why I feel like I do
you'd expect if you help people they would help you back. then when they don't it ruins everything, it ruins your core. you also can't know if who you are committing to will help you back or not. so you can only lose. if you help you'll get fucked. so why help?
in which case just doing something you love like optimizing pwn machines is what I'm built for. is that all I got? how does that make sense? it just doesn't to me. you'd think it would be clear but something is fighting -
Don't have a manger/boss/mentor. Please give me an advice (coding/best practices, no 'life is to be lived' shit) which will help me in the long run.. Thank you..4
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If anyone in this wonderful community wants to help with my encryption project contact me VIDNIC@protonmail.com
Thank You18 -
You nut butter, contrary to pizza devs. This plus chocolate and fresh medium roast, plus Yerba mate is what can help me when working.
2 -
Help me DevRant people, can you suggest any style, technique, tips in making your own personal websites?8
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Colleague: Can you help me with something when you're not busy?
Me: TypeError: cannot concatenate 'not' and 'busy' as <status>!
I guess it doesn't help that I do my work in a non-dev environment...
On the plus side, it's very hard to be bored as a developer :)
*sigh* -
Any corona developers out there? I'm a newbie and trying to create an application which helps students to interact each other/communicate each other, my question is: Have you created something like this? Can you help me or give me some tips? Thank you so much!1
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If you come to me asking for help about why my tools aren't working or other tech support questions I will immediately assume whatever info you tell me is wrong.
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My fellow programmer, you came here for a rant?
I apologize, you can have no rants. I won't rant for you today.
But you can still help me. What do you think of TypeORM? I'm starting a new project and I'm thinking about using it.5 -
Can you help me with the codes and output of these two activity?
I'm new in programming Thankyou
It's a C++ program
14 -
So my coworker asked for help with his work. I understand that sometimes talking about the problem with someone else will help solve the problem, but seriously, don't ask me "How do I fix this?". If you wanted me to help you fix something, go to lunch and let me work on it for a couple of hours. I can't fix something by telling you what to do. I need time to look into the problem myself, do research, and run tests on my own. Telling to do that over your shoulder is a complete waste of our time.
Also, his attitude of complete helplessness is tiring. It's hard to help someone who continually reminds you of how much he just wants to give up.2 -
You guys, what commonly fontFamily you are using in making an android app? I'm not good in looking a good font, hoping all of you help me. Thanks very much.3
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Hi.
I wanted to ask this and didn't know where else to ask. How can programmers help the ukrainians, in other ways than donations? I'm specifically looking for programming projects to be implemented, that could in any way help these people.
I currently don't have the circumstances to help with monetary donations, but I want to help them somehow. Do you have any ideas?
Perhaps other people with extra time, like me, could also take some ideas from here and implement them.5 -
Hey. Do you guys know any developer groups on WhatsApp , telegram or any other such platforms? If so please comment on how to join .
Thank you .
(Doing my engineering and pretty much screwed up. Help me please xD) -
I have nothing to "rant" about. Could you write a program to help me out? Better yet, talk about the worst client you have worked for and put it in the comments. ^_^1
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Hey iOS devs 👋🏻 have you ever released an app internally without the Apple developer program? 🤔I need an alternative and I hope you can help me please3
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Have I ever mentioned how much i love you all ?
Sweet cuddly cool peoples
Help me in my grandmotherly exodus from perdition !
https://gofund.me/848aa1943 -
I dont know if this help might help other devs or in general students just I hope you like this its helped me continue developing in times where I certainly didnt even want to get out of bed alone from work on a project
https://youtube.com/watch/...1
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