A client called

Client: Hello Mr. Can you come to our office today?

Me: Yes sure

In fews hours I was there

Client: Check this email we are getting every day

It was email from spammers who asking to redesigning their website because it was not responsive

Me: 🧐Thinking ‘valid point !’

Me: So what you need me to do for you then?

Client: We need you to redesign the site

Lol - thanks spammers for bringing in new client

Lol why not.

Me doing CSS:

I have alot of respect for the programmers that came before stack overflow lol not even joking.

Relatives: You're a computer guy, right, what are you working on these days?
Me: *should I bother explaining, should I not* Oh, just some stuff.
R: Oh come on, tell us, how difficult can it be?
M: *sigh* I'm working on a custom garbage collector for-
R: !!

They're now under the impression that I'm involved in collecting rubbish from bins. Sigh. My hair doesn't help here, either, lol (I have one of those tangled, unruly mops of hair)

This will take time to explain.

Lol
[the image is not mine]

*buys VPN*
*Installs VPN*
*Opens VPN*
*Sets VPN to france*
*Start receiving french ads*

Sure why not lol

So my boss sent me a msg at 00:05 to update production.

And here I was at 7:30am reading it with a poker face thinking "no dude, my working hours are not like that, lol. Get a life."

I remember some years ago when a professor asked -
"What is the difference between SQL and MySQL?"

And one of the students answered -
Uh... I don't know... SQL is more like a general SQL and MySQL is a personal SQL...

:|

QA just asked me, why does the website look so ugly and no CSS is working on Internet Explorer
I'm lucky I'm not the web dev lol

*I laughed*
*IE laughed*
*Windows laughed*

I'm regretting not having have done this long time ago. You can tell the difference from HDD right away. Everything loads up really fast... Heck, Android Studio even loads fast lol
Switch to SSD to save your life and time 😀

I hate when people look at me weird when I talk sexy to my code. It's like how do you not find this sexy. Lol I'm in class like awww yeah pull that input and increment it you dirty software.

Constant: you're a slut!
Variable: I can change!

Reviewer: your pr has unit tests
Me: yes
Reviewer: well, we never had unit tests, this is kind of an issue, not sure how to handle this right now

return "LOL"

Seen at work in code:

<!-- DO NOT REMOVE CONTENTS PLACED HERE //TODO: Would have loved if some one also had said why we should not remove this -->

Lol

One of my best mentors was my father!

When i was very, very young (like 8 years old), he brought a new computer from his work! The first thing he did was play Doom (lol) but later, he always tried to show me all the things that could be done, coding in VB6.

He always told me: "You can use this to make the computer do what you want to do! You can do many things!". Even if at that time I did not understand much, he always tried to explain me how to develop a calculator or even a "Hello World" but with the name of my mother.

I will never forget his face of happiness, when I simulated a face that blinked with a counter. I do not even remember how I did it, but he hugged me so hard lol.

A couple of years ago, he was the first to try my first application on Android: An application that screamed when you shook the phone lol. He laughed a lot with that application.

He helped me in my university and we even developed several solutions together for different companies. Now we work separately, but he was an important part of what I am now.

PS: My english is kinda rusty, so forgive me ><.

You is not gonna beliebers what just happened lol

So a couple weeks ago I earned a stress ball (300+ ++'s) I sent an email about it but never got a reply, so I decided to just forget about it. But then I just ranted (lastnight) about how its so hard to get a stressball. So I basically just said "fuck it i'll buy one". Then some dude comes along and is like "omg not until he shows us the bought one" so I'm like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and buy one...

Then I get an email confirmation from devrant store confirming my order for the bought stressball. And I notive that my spam folder has unread messages in it. i look inside the spam folder and what do I see?...

I see dfox replying to my free stressball request weeks ago lol. So yay, now I gets the 3 balls (or two - depending) lol omg, so many balls.

She: "Better not visit devRant for the next.. weeks"
Me: "Lol, what have I done?"
She: "The new iPhone is out"
Me: "..."

I hate how people think that to be a "hacker" or hacking is this special job title. lol. Hacking is just using something in a way in which it was not intended to be used.

So pretty much think ...anal sex.

There. Now many people are "hackers"

Annoyingly typical office conversation:

Person 1: "Good morning."
Person 2: "Good morning, how are you?"
Person 1: "Good. How are you?"
Person 2: "Good."
Person 1: "Good."

NO! Not good, fuckers. I hear this all day long, come up with something real or original. Talk about the massive shit you just took, or how hard you're taking the news about Diablo Immortal. It reminds me of that scene in Office Space with the repetitive call center lady, lol.

You must know each other guys, don't you?

First day on new job. Hardware guy comes to my office, says "Hi, here is your computer" (no eye contact) and leaves a pile of boxes on the floor.

A few hours later I finished building the computer from scratch lol.
Not sure if it was some kind of test or just him being weird 😂

Not my fault of it doesn't.. Lol

Lol, only two years ago I saw a new TV show in which a developer is waiting for his code to compile. Apparently not everyone is ahead of the curve!

Lol I'm such an introvert
I have joined an internship and have been here for 4 weeks now. I have been seeing people drinking coffee since day 2, but have been shy to ask about it. In my 2nd week I located where the coffee machine was, but to shy to use it. This week, after finally gathering up the courage I went to use the machine after others used. That's when I realised I don't know how to use it. Lol. I made such a bad mix of expresso and milk and had to add 4 spoons of sugar to be able to drink it. Yesterday I made the mistake of not adding sugar and thought it was too awkward to go back to add sugar, so gulped it down after it cooled a little.
Looool, need to develop soft skills

Today I quit my job lol.

In my two previous stories I told you guys about a job offering I got, and after a few more incidents in my old job, I decided I take it.

No, this is not an april fools joke, though it felt quite bad to tell my team lead that I quit on april fools day.

Due to notice period I'll begin my new work at first of july this year, can't wait <3

Apple asked it's employees not to leak information in a memo. Guess what? The memo got leaked. Lol

Me: asking about a problem in javascript
Other: do u use a framework?
me: yes
other: which one?
me: vue
other: i would use angular because this and that

me in my head: okey thanks but its not a problem with the framework lol
pls stop this. react, angular, vue are all doing the same

Rant about devRant.

I hate to see two types of posts:

1. “Haha, i added a WordPress existing theme and charged customer XXXX EUR”, “Idiot customer, I had cross platform app and I charged for each platform”, “lol, they wanted to negotiate the payment, I connected to backdoor and shutdown down their servers”
2. “Why does customer not trust our estimates?” “I told him he does not need to worry about this comparability”, “they are asking about security of the hardened server, are they nuts?

First you treat customers dishonestly and then expect them to trust you and rely on your expertise. Before you constantly complain about the customers - look at yourself guys.

Client (big company selling luxury vehicles):
- "We need to replace analytics system on our website"
- "Since it is almost useless"
- "Our company deserve something better, google analytics is not simply enough"
- "Can you program it for us?"
- "We have already arranged budget for that project"
- "Like 200 euros, that must be enough"

Lol

My University distributes all worksheets over an online system. To access the files one has to download them each time first. So to get rid of all this annoying clicking in the browser, I just programmed a service, which logs onto the website ,crawls trough every folder, searches for new files and downloads them if they do not exist on my computer. Kind of proud as this is pretty much the first really useful program I developed lol

Lol @ thankfully-not-used-that-we-know-of code path in a legacy application.

A website accepts JPEG file format, but not JPG lol.

Not really a recruiter but at interview at one place I was given a printed code example and told that there was 8 bugs and that I shield treat it like a code review.

I found 16 bugs and 4 bad practices and explained them all to the director of software engineering and team lead (that set the test), they agree that I was correct; the director turned to the team lead and said ... Are you are your a senior

I tried not to laugh lol

Omg GuyZ I am looking tp CreAte the NeXt fb!! whAt shOulD I Use? (not php lol fuck php amirite) AnD use machiNe leArninG with nodE tO drive flying cArZ

btw I am from <completely isolated and technology ignored country> but i am l337 af! I don't know about html, css, server administration or even basic sql

WHERE SHOULD I START!!

Signed: account user with -5 points, not that it matters at all.

Y'all wanna know what is more fucking annoying than those morons? you dickwads trying to teach them shit or having arguments with them.

My coworkers are all working remotely because they're hungover, and all shocked I'm in the office today.

You think a night of drinking and 4 hours of sleep is enough to hold me down? Please. If I'm hungover enough to not go to work it means I'm probably in the hospital lol.

That being said, I have discovered that scotch does not agree with my stomach, so I'm not having the best time. At least I'm here though!

Ngl I'm glad I found this community full of people who complain. I'm not even joking I'm legitimately glad that I can complain without being reprimanded lol

open the jar... not the file lol

"Why am I a horrible person for following standard linting and thus not using semicolon in my JavaScript code?"

Next rant

"Sometimes I think people who don't use semicola in JavaScript should be shot on the spot."

Lol, love you devrant

If I ever deleted some of my rants (most likely one of the deleted ones will be the first one) it's because people from SL and IRL are starting to find me. Lol.

I'm not deleting anything yet tho.

Internship Update:
I am slowly breaking down.
I have to endure all of that stress.
Both physically and psychically.
I keep cutting myself without wanting it.
I am not attempting suicide lol.
I applied as an IT person.
What I am doing has almost barely to do with IT tho.
I am most of the time busy carrying heavy stuff like refrigerators, placing new washing machines, setting TVs by building them and putting them on the shelves. The shelves are hard to reach. At the same height as my head.
Fuck that shit already. I am not going to miss that place.

Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!

"No thanks lol it works this way too"

Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution

"Why are you so mean"

Graduation day:

A guy presents a modified pathfinding algorithm based on a*, in Java.
Jumping to the conclusions, he says he tested the algorithm on a 128x128 graph based maze, but not larger because the program saturates his 4 GB ram pc.

One teacher (algorithms and data structures) literally jumps from the chair "you saturate 4gb of ram with a* on 128x128 graph?!"

Best graduation day ever lol

One of classmates presented an idea of children tinder as her final project. (To find friends, not...you know..)
So, after a pretty logical question how they're going to prevent it from turning into a platform for kidnappers, they said 'I don't know, not my problem, tinder doesn't do it, Facebook doesn't, it's not my sphere of responsibility. And as a developer I cannot guarantee anything, why are you asking me this you're wrong'
Bravo.

P.s. idk why both of my latest posts are about tinder lol

Throwback to when some teenager tried to pay me and my buddy $10 (total, not each) to develop a custom forum website for his ArmaIII video game server, then got mad at me when I told him that's unreasonable

"And I'm already in trouble with my parents for offering you that much so you ought to appreciate it'

Lol ok.

I saw an article about being able to set your phone to silent with your Google Home device. "Wow that's cool. Hey Google! Set my phone to silent."

Forgets about it.

This morning I noticed I was getting messages on Snapchat, but not getting any notifications.

"Snapchat is a piece of fucking garbage." (Still a true statement lol)

Half an hour later, I remember I set DND on and never turned it off.

Just here to say that I am a fucking moron.

I'm Stux and thanks for coming to my TED talk.

> likes linux
> maybe not even install windows on shiny new laptop?
> debian-live.iso
> y u no wifi?
> google: lol apt-get
> but i has no internets...

Why only with Debian and not with literally any other flavor of Linux I've tried, which are all Debian variants?
Halp?

Is it bad ive got a mental count down to when I'll reach 6969 ++?

I'm not planning on growing up any time soon so judge away lol

I wrote an extension for chrome. In the last part (publishing) I got the message I had to pay 5$ for 'administration / registration' fee's... I do not own a creditcard lol :(

Anyway a friend hooked me up and payed.

It is really sad that we have to pay, it would be more logical to receive 5$ for making something in the store -,-

I got a job! (Not the place from last rant lol)

Party at my place. Bring your own drugs.

11:00 AM
Boss: *autistic screaming* Make this module not shit.
Whole team: Alright we'll have a meeting to discuss changes at 6:00PM

5:00 PM
Me: I'mma fiddle just a bit with this module.... *fiddles a lot* *makes it not shit*.... cool, I'll just notify my team I fixed it.

LiterallyAtTheSameTime:00 PM
OtherDudeFromTeam *in my dm-s*: AY YO DUDE I FIXED THE PROBLEM LOL 😂😂😂
Me: iGiveUp.exe

Makeshift standing desk to see if the hype is actually worth it or not.

10 minutes in: Not really feeling it. Could be because it's 1:20 and I'm slightly tired, or it could be the fact I'm kinda lazy lol

Who else questions the Apple QA team?

Effective power to the letter "i" not working to the root bug and now this?

Jesus Christ they need to get some help lol

What would you be willing to sacrifice for 1 tbps internet speeds?

Mine is my left leg. I'll get a prosthetic or wheel chair. Not like I'd be doing much walking with those speeds keeping me distracted lol.

!rant

found this when wanting to check a notification, paused it multiple times, and my boss was: why does this keep on stopping!

Guess I better not do it again if I want to keep my job lol

Ugh I'm getting so owned. Currently having a burst DDOS on a host of ours. It is always at xx:00 and xx:30 for ~2 minutes from ~200++ unique AWS instances (Ip's).

Not long enough to ban them (max 2-3 requests per IP), not general enough to ban them on the type of request.. and the IP's.. yea... It would result banning all the amazon subnets which is also not an option lol.

Now waiting I guess.. I sent an email to amazon

2020 is not even over yet But here comes the coding gurus with their click bait nonsense. lol 😂

Lol
Every time this pic makes me not to study "maths". 😂
So irrational:)

I'm thirteen, and we have an excel unit in our computer class. When she's want to teach us something, she'd deploy her screen on ours and we couldn't do anything. It took me until the third time (yes, that long) to remember the connection was wired via Ethernet. I took the cord out and my computer was free! During the boring "lesson," I opened Code::Blocks to work on a fun side project. When she notice she wasn't connecting to my computer, she walked over to my chair and saw Code::Blocks on my screen. Then, I noticed her behind me. I quickly pressed ALT+TAB. She walked back to her chair. To this day I swear she thinks Im a hacker.

Ok fellow ranters. I've scoured the internet for hilarious and enraging stories of programmers being asked to either work for free, or for stock options, or to hack (crack) stuff, etc.

Here's my latest one. A friend who's obsessed with crypto came up with a "great" idea which was for me (of course) to build a landing page for a fake company to trick people into submitting their crypto wallet keys and all that. What started as a joke quickly turned into my friend getting mad at me for not wanting to actually make it lol. Like seriously wtf is with people. All the reasons not to do that scheme are plainly obvious!

Next. Some person who worked for a company I consult with pulled the generic. "I have this great app idea" line & proceeded to of course ask me to "not steal it" lol. It was just an app that would list gluten free restaurants... That's hardly even an idea!!

But what's fucked up about all this is my friend from the first story is so obsessed with becoming a "crypto millionaire" he actually resents me now for not
1. being obsessed with crypto
2. not committing cybercrime on his behalf

Anybody else have enraging stories about stuff people have asked you to do?

Me: 'alriiight let's run this code here'

Logs: 'lol the function you did is deprecated. how about you don't do that, and do the right thing instead'

What was the right thing?
I don't know. It's not on their documentation in their site.

Thanks, js devs :) you guys are the absolute best

The best way to check if the bar is moving, it to use the magnifier on windows, also, not my computer, but really nostalgic, lol

Ah.. the beauty of clean code.

I wrote a very cleanly written program two years ago. Proper variable names, not too many, right naming, right design pattern,.. Now I come back to it and I am able to instantly figure out the code again. It only took me half a minute.

The importance of clean code... that's something the industry needs to understand more. Well, then there's the money issue. lol

I need bleach...

Lot of bleach.

When you think that not using a JS framework is bad...

Ever saw a Frankenstein of a HTML, PHP and JQuery? Full rewrite of an old project with more than enough time allowed....

Just... That was not awful enough.

*sobs* so the dev added bootstrap onto this pile of garbage... Instead of rewrite....

Think I missed CSS or included it in HTML? Lol. No.

No CSS. Inline. HTML 4 Tags.

?>
<table width=40 class="table table-striped">
<?php
foreach( $table as $row ) {
....
<input onkeyup="..." onkeydown="..." class="form-control"
...

To give you a basic example of how worse it is...

But the best. The lead developer does not understand why I was speechless.

i need more beer. And bleach. Filth and disgust must get out of my system

Boss was angry complaining about delay in delivery on a recent project via our official group channel on Slack, he then uploaded this photo with me and my colleagues confused not finding a meaning to it. Lol, we just ignored and apologized.

Why not to use gitlab:
-Runs on ruby which is VERY VERY VERY wasteful in processing power and thus in energy
-It's hosted on azure

Why to stay with github:
-There won't be a lot of change
-It's reliable and this won't change so fast
-It's like admitting defeat towards MS who want to ruin our lives lol

- Learn git/github
- Create and finish a useful project on my Raspberry Pi
- Successfully organize a LoL tournament in my school, and develop something related to it
- Do not lose my mind when my programming teacher keeps saying bullshit
- Install a Linux distro along with my Windows as dualboot
- F u c k i n g clean that computer case a l r e a d y
- Finish the website I have been making for like half a year for my hobby
- Be active on devRant

Me: "Showtime!"
Windows: "LOL, NOPE!"

The irony in this rant is that I just installed Linux in a dualboot environment and was eager to start setting up the new OS. For some reason, Grub was not recognized and Windows started automatically... 😥

anyone else have their own side projects where they follow no structure and pretty much make spaghetti code just to get it finished asap so you can make money off the system you are building? lol. not proud of the code i wrote today but damn did I get a lot of functionality implemented.

HR is getting so desperate they are prescheduling me interviews attached with CVs in the hopes that I will interview the candidates for a senior, even though the candidates have no experience whatsoever in embedded software programming. Workday, JIRA and Excel does not count you absolute fucknuggets.

For fuck sake, I asked management to hire new grads or juniors, at least I can get a person motivated to learn, but I swear they just don't listen.

They just are content with wasting my time lol

So who else is on Mac and not updating Slack to retain the old good logo? LOL 😂

It's not that my work is hard. Basically, all the work I do these days is something I've done before with a slight twist on it.

I just feel underappreciated.

"bUt u mAkE sO mUcH mOnEy dO uR jObBbb!!"

How much money I make should not suppress how I feel at a company. Two years without a raise, every company meeting is a circle jerk for the sales team, and whenever our work is mentioned it's "Great job to the PMs for getting this to our clients."

Fuck you guys. Lol. This is a team effort from all sides, but to put engineers last on the "kudos" ladder is just so shitty.

Sooooooo since a few days im feeling more and more depressed.

There are some things that might cause it :
- school
-My last frienhship broke (not like i care about sociality. lol)
-my parents being so strict.

What can i do except for going through this, eyes shut?
I alceady had a depression i dont wanna get back there :/

Hey so found another tiny bug, well more like a typo, if you're​ a subscriber and you go to edit a post more than it's time limit in this after 57 mins you get the old can't edit after 5 minutes alert dialog message, super easy to fix (I guess lol) and not too important

This is just one I had with my cousin who came for a visit.

Cousin: Yo bro, I want you to hack my girlfriend's Facebook?

Me: Lol, and why is that?

Cousin: I think she's cheating on me with this guy. I've seen her replying to him on fb messenger.

Me: Lol, ask her about it then if that's what you think.

Cousin: She won't talk bro. That's why I want you to hack her Facebook or even her phone so I can see who she's talking to.

Me: I can't bro.

Cousin: So you're not going to help me?

Me: Not that bro. I can't hack Facebook. I don't know how to do that stuff.

Cousin: But you have Bachelor's in CS and I've seen you writing those stuff on your computer....uhm, the code thing.

Me: Yeah, but those were school and personal programming projects. Not hacking stuff.. they're not the same.

Cousin: Oh man, what about her phone?

Me: Nope, can't do that either.

Cousin: But I've seen you hacking your Android phone... (*He saw me root my phone*)

Me: *face palm*

Starting to realize I turn into AlexDeLarge when I play a few video games. (I'm not a hardcore gamer, just play the occasional fps or sports games.)

I caught myself yelling "I hope your fucking family falls into a pit of aids infected blood and they fucking drown in it you camping piece of shit" while I was playing PUBG today. Oops lol

Is 'Ranting' considered as a skill?

Simple sidescroller made in Unity featuring a little green pixel dragon.

And the fun thing is that the dragon is awfully similar to the Docusaurus logo. (see below image)

So... what?

FB stole my idea. (lol)

And I am not releasing my dragon cuz people will shout at ME who seems to plagiarised FB.

One of my house mates just came to my room and asked if I had a charger for her bf's phone and pointed at the headphones jack... I think I died a little inside

(She's not into tech and kinda apologized for it and I just "hey it's OK you don't have to know that". I'm a bit shocked LoL)

There's a lotta memes about Google spazzing out whenever you log into a new device, but Fitbit is even worse lol

I not only get a notification that my Fitbit's battery is low, I also get a fucking email about it.

Like y'all chill out. I know it's low.

I'm sure this can be disabled somewhere, but I'mma probably get a new watch soon so I'm too lazy to deal with it

It was a hackathon about this new very interesting totally-not-abused technology called Blockchain, so obviously I ignored everything and focused on picking up this cute tsundere girl (I did).
And somehow still got 2nd place lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't want to put anyone to shame here, but this has been the most hilarious password reset in my life.

P.S.
It's an early service with no sensitive data, so I'm not concerned so much, but still, a system for automatic password reset, with the ability to change the temporary one, should be one of the first things in place before you go public. lol

Maybe not the best comment you want to have on your product comparison and hype post lol

LOL that's why I love C!

The function pointer cast for strcmp because qsort expects a compare function with two const void * pointers instead of two const char * pointers, that's just beautiful.

Not to mention the hack to abuse strcmp on a struct - which just works because the first struct member is a string and the rest just gets swapped with memcpy as opaque data.

I guess that wouldn't pass a code review at work. :-)

make let not var

Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY

me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.

Everytime I think I'm smarter than the compiler, I'm... absolutely not smarter than the compiler lol

Random guy at work pushed this to production today...

var i = 0;
do { // DO NOT DELETE THIS! }
while (i < 1);
....
doImportantThing();

And my boss keeps saying code reviews are overrated, lol.

About to start coding my first complete website. Oh boy. Everything I learn up until this point. Just basic HTML is all about to be put to the test. Lol. Grant it. It's not for a client. Just school assignments but man I'm nervous.😂😂🤷‍♂️

Who the HELLFUCK deploys on a Friday?!

When your co developer asks for you to check out her website and tell her any bugs you notice, I then proceed to give her 8 bugs in her code and she freaks out on me lol

Maybe your not as perfect as you think you are....

Fucking pigeons and birds in general. They all don't want to move their asses when I drive lol.
Do they all want me to squeeze the shit out of them?!
Wtf is wrong with them?
I'm waiting for them to slowly pass by my car, but others would maybe not show the same patience.

I had difficulty in passing one of my programming subjects during college because of my teacher(3~5years older than me). She's a pretty lady and always wearing lose shirts, I'm on the front row seats, so i always get distracted and can't focus on lectures and exams.

After that semester, i was happy that she's not my teacher anymore. LOL.

Ok, let's actually try and work on my games Dev kit workspace functionality and not get side tracked with devRant... Oh fuck I'm on it right now... Well shit!

I think I browse through devRant at an unhealthy amount lol

A newish client just sent a channel ticket marked as "urgent", which set off the alarm for everybody in the chain, with an amazon link to lingerie.

I seriously don't know how to react to this, since I really hope it was a mistake and not how he expects us at the next meeting lol

To send such a ticket you have to confirm your pin and confirm the urgency reason too by the way, so the only thing coming to my mind is, it was some sort of clipboard fail?

Just got to work and we have no power. Maybe hand writing code in university will finally come in handy. Lol not. :)

When will the cookies(PHP) expire? Non-programming answer: It depends if you put it in the freezer or not LOL

Long story short, my mama fixed the printer!

Well, more like she did troubleshoot.
Needed to print something and printer didn’t light up. Did some basic troubleshooting but didn’t work. So assumed it’s spoiled and thought would just use softcopy since document isn’t that important.

When papa told mama abt it, she went ahead and troubleshoot/setup for me to print. Even printed out a test doc, lol.

Then she remarked, “u’ve been doing software, that’s why not so good with hardware hah!”

Proud child is proud. 💪🏿

P L E A S E
Do not just teach them on how to program. Teach them on how to properly write a documentation and how to properly execute a project. Like, don't start coding directly. Teach how to plan a project properly especially on estimation. (lol)

OH MY GOD, i cant believe this is my 25th day without a job... why!!!! not with all the kubernetes and node js and javascript that i know. lol. not to mention golang and python and all the networking stuff, dns, aws etc. lol where are all the recruiters when i need them?!!!!

The presumption of incompetence:

Has this ever happened to you?

Starting a task and chatting with a fellow dev-- my first time implementing analytics in this particular app. I mentioned to them that I've been doing analytics implementation on various apps at our company for years, but our current apps' analytics setup is the most intense and this will be a good learning experience for me to dig into.

They responded by sending me code snippets of existing analytics implementations to help me. Not hidden or lesser-known classes, very obvious ones I already had open and was working off of. With advice like "just search the codebase for 'analytics' and 'trackPage''" lol.

I like this person a lot, but this definitely caught me off guard. It felt like something her obtuse manager would do, but not her. This would probably not be a big deal to most but I'm so used to being given unsolicited/unhelpful/irrelevant advice from male devs, and having to be pleasant and thank them, this one was tough to witness.

How do you respond to unsolicited "help"? Does it bruise your ego the way it bruises mine? lol

I'm usually very careful with *everything* except today, I spilled half my water bottle on my personal laptop which I was using for interview prepping and while I had no plans to buy a new computer for the time being (not by choice lol). Here's a photo of my 5 year old boy.

Lemme see your phone wallpapers (if they're not like pictures of yourself or whatever lol)

Looking for a few one

I just sent I put a funny photo of mine as my profile in whatsapp for a few seconds.

Few seconds later, some *innocent* person sends me the following message "hey, that's a funny image of yours lol. Just shared it on facebook"

***Facepalm***

! Not pissed off, just wondering why the heck people feel like sharing everything they fucking see on Facebook

Taking a 4 month Software Engineering course in University. Spent the last 2 months making Traceability Matrix, Component Diagrams, Deployment Diagrams, Sequence Diagram and not a single line of code was written.

Is this how it works in Industry as well? Lol.

lol,my mom just called me to check whether I had lunch or not. I was working and forgot what time it is!

On the beginning of a project I'm not yet ( 😒 ) taking part of I questioned the use of firebase because I understood the client was gonna ask for the web app to be hosted on their servers lately, but people told me not to worry.

Today... Only 2 fucking months later they are asking for the specifications/technologies used so they can prepare their server to host it and I was laughing my ass out internally while saying to my boss:

Well, looks like you are gonna need to rewrite huge parts and probably write a back end from scratch if you are gonna use postgresql.

Lol, why do people never listen to me? This is becoming ridiculous....

1.
Accuracy 0.90 achieved so easily, makes me wonder if I've done something wrong. Lol.

2.
My neural net models are the only things in my life doing well. I think I chose the right career. Lol.

3.
Rerunning experiments is not fun. But getting better results is really... Ego stroking.

Started doing Java because i thought it had much better libraries than C++ .Now after doing it , still not able to decide whether to stick with Fucking Java or with that Fucking C++ LOL.

I still remember when I was 8 years old and used to use "position:absolute"everywhere and use top and z-index to hardcodedly place my elements in my old web projects. I used a lot of <br> and padding + margin were not familiar words to me.

Somehow these projects were responsive, too. Strange times.

Nowadays I avoid "position:absolute", z-index and <br>s like the plague lol

So... I finally decided to secure my VPS, so I started with sudo less /var/log/auth.log ...
Short story, not even gonna read every line, just gonna reset my VPS lol

At first i was like lol Netherlands Root CA not trusted anymore, then i was like WTF Amazon-CA when the fuck did this happen?

Wow, i'm pretty sure that's not what i typed lol. Looks like we got another way to write 'Paris'.. (:

DevRant-Stats Site Update:
Future projections & Live General Section

Added some future projections like SocialBlade, where you can see your score in the future, according to the stats in the last 30 days. Therefore it will only be available after storing the stats for 30 days.

Also made the complete "General" section live now, and replaced "Live Score" with "Devrant++ Member since".
So now the values are updating every second! (Using EventStream so not working in Edge Browser lol idc)

Have fun!
Feedback is appreciated!

One of my students failed one of the necessary tasks for exam admittance, then handed in the next one (even a bit too late via email instead of uploading it properly lol). Then I reminded him that he already failed the course and that I cant accept his solution, thinking he might not have read my previous evaluation?

"oh yea, that's right, i remember now!"

I mean like.. how do you forget something like that?!?!

I recently got into an argument with some people, and I want your opinion. I did a speed code in Java (just sped up clip of programming, because it looks cool lol), and someone commented:

"Way too much static abuse here. Jesus"

In which I replied:

"Actually, sir. There is near none at all, just because I use static methods does not make it static abuse. A static method belongs to the class, and is somewhat permanent. It is not a type (instance, cat, dog, animal, etc.) class, it is a Utility class, much like other dependencies you'd use are Utilities and not types."

To which they reply:

"Getting and setting is a Utility?"

Boi. If it is a static variable, yes. Like, what?

I've been given an intern to help me with my work (lol it's not helping) and she knows almost nothing of web dev, not even what Nodejs is, I had to explain it and guide her step by step on how to install it on her laptop. On her CV it says she has JavaScript experience, but she cannot even put together a basic HTML page, she asked me what a div is. As far as I know, HTML, CSS and JS are pieces of the same pie and you cannot really work with JS unless you also work with HTML and CSS. I think she lied on her CV and I need to tell my manager.

My question is, is it normal to know JavaScript and not know much about HTML and CSS?

!dev Job hunting is so exhausting. Nowadays it's not enough to have two degrees and some certificates. No, you have to 'prove' your worth by also showing really complex, enterprise-level projects you made on GitHub. Yes, why don't you make it more difficult to find a job. lol

The only reason I ordered a new phone today is there are bunch of apps that no longer work on my phone.

Including Amazon and even work related apps.

Been 5+ years I am using my current phone and not a single scratch on screen, though the body is affected a little. All of this without protection.

I must admit my handling game is good. Lol

From the only tech guy (after co worker left) at my old job to 'the new guy' at my new job

Its a fucking flip lol
But at least I'm not dealing with a terrible ceo and growth

Day 3 and they're already trusting me with stuff and not treating me like a child even though I'm asking a million questions

And they're already discussing how I can use my actual background experience to do new unique things for the department rather than just bogging me down with instructions and "do it this way"

Can you guys list some of your favorite recipes in the comments?

Trying to find new food to cook, because I'm tired of making the same like 7 meals and that's it lol

If it doesn't have a meat, it's probably not for me, btw. But I will be open to trying things

At first, my family was like "Don't waste your time on the computer, in college, you will learn how to code". I didn't listen, I started learning C#, but somehow I ended up learning C++ lol. Then I started with C, assembly, and SystemVerilog.
After they saw how good I was at it. They started supporting me. I don't blame them for not supporting me at first, they were ignorant about the topic, so they were blindly making assumptions.

I had debug my perfectly working program.
Let me explain.
I wrote a python perform some calculations and return the result. In case the calculations were not successful, it would raise an error.
For some reason, it worked on all test cases: gave correct output with correct inputs and raised errors on non correct inputs but when I used it with another function, it just failed.
Turns out I had written 'return myExcetion' instead of 'raise my exception'.
Lol, I was almost gonna give up programming

HELP ME OUT BRUTHA AND SISTUR..

I've finally finished my website - now's the time to do the tedious thing and get a decent hosting for as little money as possible.

Does anyone know a hosting that has:
- High privacy ethics (not that I'm gonna store porn there, just my screenshots posted via ShareX)
- VPS-based hosting I can put a nice Linux on.
- Unlimited or 'really high' bandwidth.
- Located in Europe (UK included lol).

I would be most thankful :P

Story of coding affecting my dating?
Well whenever I start a new language, I always find myself having difficulties with time and date structure-
Wait, that's not the subject? ... oh the other kind of "date". Well, not finding difficulties for something I'm not looking forward to lol

i have been browsing trough my gists and this is what I have found.

HAI
HOW DUZ I PRINTSMILE
VISIBLE "SMILEZ!"!
IF U SAY SO

HOW DUZ I PRINTSMILEZ NUMBERZ
I HAS A SMILEZLINE ITZ ""
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR NUMBERZ WHILE NUMBERZ BIGGR THAN 0
SMILEZLINE R SMOOSH SMILEZLINE AN "SMILEZ!" MKAY
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE SMILEZLINE
IF U SAY SO

VISIBLE "O HAI! NOT MY WERK! LOL!:):)DIS WAY CUZ I LIEK SMOOSH:)"

I HAS A COUNTER ITZ 3
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR COUNTER WHILE COUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
PRINTSMILEZ COUNTER
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE ":)N DIS WAY CUZ QUESTION. LOL!:)"
COUNTER R 3
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR COUNTER WHILE COUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
I HAS A UDDERCOUNTER ITZ COUNTER
IM IN YR INNERLOOP NERFIN YR UDDERCOUNTER WHILE UDDERCOUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
PRINTSMILE
IM OUTTA YR INNERLOOP
VISIBLE ":)"!
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE ":)LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!:):)KTHXBYE"
KTHXBYE

lol nvidia-bug-report.sh

it collected an xorg log that is not the current one.

For some reason, my arch openbox logs to $HOME/.local/share/xorg/Xorg.0.log.

What a goddamn trainwreck. I'm not necessarily saying it's nvidia's fault. But it is a trainwreck.

People on election day: "OMG a subset of the machines are not working!!"

People who work in IT every single day: "lol no shit."

Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.

Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.

Best conversation I ever had with a manager.

Pulls me off into a meeting and in the same breath tells me he values my opinion, must not argue with him and he does not want "yes" men. Lol

My dad. he inspires me to explore the computer world because he opened a computer service center when i was a kid. i followed him since then. but the only difference is i know a lot of coding than he does.

i'm very different than my other siblings who pursue career in medical world. that made me asked myself whether or not I'm adopted lol.

QA vs Devs

QA PERSON 1: "They are sending the same thing again!? Did they actually make some change or do they think we're stupid and won't notice that it's the same as the last one?"
QA PERSON 2: "Is this a game of chicken? - Who caves in to the pressure first, loses."
QA PERSON 3: "Nah, it's not a big deal, just let it pass... it's going to be easier for everyone. It's not a critical thing."

On the dev side:
"They accepted it this time, with no changes. LOL They're stupid and useless."

5 months ago we are using string for identifying some stuff:

var abc = "badstuff/abc"
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff")>-1

// fine

we later switched to id, so

var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff") > -1;

// well this is wrong

so I approached the colleague and said to her that we use id now, indexOf("badstuff") no longer works, and id can be arbitrary, like 3245.

-- ok ill do it.

I dont know 3245 looks really like a special id or not. this is the outcome:

var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf(3245) > -1;

lol.

What I should do: Go back to doing construction and get into house flipping

What Id actually do: Be salty AF move to some tropical island and sell italian ice on the beach. I am not going back to construction lol

Bad case of schadenfreude the biggest asshole on the dev team is having issues with his code merge! Someone merged 2 mins before him...lol. This is why you used the command line not the GUI!

Fucken clock stretching.... seriously ... if you’re gonna clock stretch me for any more than 3ms (which is still pushing it) just fucken NACK me so I know your not ready god damn.... it’s fucken i2c .... stop with the application i2c bullshit... I just want to read the fucken registers stop abstracting it put it on a god damn DMA..
clock stretching is why we can’t have nice things lol

Not bad for a test over WiFi 😮
Still, how I long for fiber... Then I won't need to use a VPN to boost my speed lol... Not that I'll stop using one...

I may not of made long strides today, but by golly my form will adjust with the height of the text lol

Was going through my rants and started deleting ones that I thought were dumb. There were more than a handful. What I did *not* know was that your +1 status doesn't keep past +1's. If you delete a rant - those +1's go away...lol serves me right for posting sub par rants in the first place, dont you think? 😝

I pretty much leave important tough and challenging dev work for the weekend, I start my weekend days around 9AM and interact with no one until 4PM, after that I just go back to life lol

During the week if I'm not doing anything I play around with my projects else I go out with friends.

"LOL what ass-hat saw camelCase and then decided to not use it --- oh fuck I'm the one..."

Every day I try to show something new or cool to the people in my team. Not with the purpose of using it, more like to show them the current state of options and cool things to study. Yesterday it was clojure and clojurescript as well as regent. Which even tho I am not a master or even proficient at either....well I just wanted to show them. Lisp is very whiteboard friendly, so after I finished writing shit on the board this was the lead developer's reaction:

Lol this is fun.

lol @ doing stand-ups for the sake of stand-ups. I used to work for a company that vigorously applied them. Bro, I don't care about your development progress. You're wasting my time with your bla bla. Bunch of people just standing there rattling out their daily progress.. but no one really caring. Not useful.

lol..

I hate leaving work late, stuck on a bug and 10 miles down the road heading home, figure out a solution and then argue with myself do I go back and fix it now with no distractions or write it down ... then in the morning I’ll do it but bear with distractions... or not write it down .. hope I remember and then do it in the morning

But I’ll probably get distracted.: forget .. then remember after everyone leaves and implement it tomorrow night .. lol

Welcome to cross platform UI Frameworks, where getting build number of your app requires a plugin *cough* flutter *cough*

But it comes in handy to write small apps and not waste time writing twice lol

You know how they start calling you when you register a new domain and are not careful enough not to put your own phone number there?

I recently registered a domain that ends in ***shit.com

No calls :) It's like private registration LoL

lol my life is a joke
E: I've found it in css of a project I work on after some well paid consultant. And no, it was not temporary.

Hmmm I don't know, I think my project will for some reason not work lol

Didn't happen to me but to the other class at my university.
As you all know all universities changed to studies online this semester. So a teacher asked students to try solving an exercise and he forgot to stop sharing his screen. Few moment later, porn started playing 😂
Turned out he told the administration later that it was his son who did this (not sure if that's true) and he stopped working after that anyway.
I memed the hell out of that incident lol

K guys... Don't expect to hear much from me for a few days...
Not like jase. It's just....
I upgraded my CNC last night with "real" steppers (only need one more for Z)
I just got my 3D printer and have a puzzle to mount...
First pieces I'll do (after tests and learning curve) are pieces for my third CNC lol

Client: we would like a fully featured web app with a companion mobile app. Here's what we want it to do

Us: ok nice. What's your budget for this?

Client: $5k

Us: ...

RPi or any other alternative? I need at least 2GB of RAM and getting two RPis is not an option lol

I like OrangePi but not sure how good it is tbh

Not having any good rants to get a stress ball. lol

Am I the only engineer that has a terrible time with relationships(not db relationship lol) I get so caught up in work.

How do y’all manage?

!dev

I feel like I never lived/live my age. I feel like I have wasted childhood (who the fuck wastes their childhood?!), teenage years, university years, most of my 20's. And now, I'm in this state where I'm stuck thinking about what I should be doing to not repeat the same mistakes and how to make up for them (which is in itself repeating the same mistake again, lol). I should go to bed.

If you're looking to buy IoT stuff, you should try Xiaomi. Not only their stuff works, even when you block Xiaomi servers, but it can still be controlled remotely from an independent server. Although they are probably not happy about that lol. (i realize how much this sounds like an ad, but I'm too excited that it actually works :D)

i'm waiting for a package manager to come out that compiles everything you have it install from source to "guarantee" it runs on your machine, then have it autopost a SO question when it fails (not if, WHEN) and autotest answers given, then if it didn't work it'd reply saying it didn't work and giving the new error (if appropriate). This'd shut up the "lol it works on my side" and "lol compiling's easy" douchebags and also probably help drive home the importance of providing binaries for things and making them well.

also fuck devkitPro, it's not unreasonable to provide packages for other package managers than Arch's pacman since EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT. And no, "lol just compile from source" doesn't help as it doesn't work when you do. And it doesn't work BECAUSE you don't WANT it to so we HAVE to patchwork pacman into our other distros to get your shitty dev tools. you could also just provide a fucking zip of everything compiled, since then there'd be less effort than maintaining your own copy of pacman and servers and shit just to try and help people desperate enough to try crippling their Windows/Mac/Linux install all because they haven't drank the Arch koolaid.

Fuck those douchebags, fuck devkitPro and... probably fuck you too? Probably? Maybe?

holy shit i really needed to get that shit off my chest i apologize for that

the AI says the code I'm trying to design is very complex a problem, d'awww I'm not a failure 🥺

the solution seems to unironically be to delete half of it and make it far simpler / less features lol

why can't I make my code psychic to what I want, ragh! oh well

Lol. Had an exam in college a few weeks ago which involved designing a website on expression web. The Dr responsible for the subject dropped my file and gave me a 0 as a grade and said : "well it's not my fault I lost your file." I laughed so hard XD. Still has a 0 though Lmao.

Every morning now you’ll see me at a Starbucks with a larger hot water pouring instant coffee packets into it

I’m not ashamed
Even if I was was rich I wouldn’t pay 15.00 for a fucking coffee lol

I call it a Starbucks workaround lol

Lol so we had a meeting where basically the entire dev team got shat on for everything always taking too long... Now, I know a .lot of us suck at estimates but if it's all the time then do you think maybe we're not getting the best quality info to wok from?

Then they revised the WFH policy to 3 days a week in office. AND got pissy about the hours.

so I ask you all what are you hours?

More and more people will hate javascript..even if they are not using it LOL

Not a rant, anyone else play League of Legends? Just started back up and it would be cool to game with some fellow ranters. Gaming releases my anger lol

I’ve recently started at a company where though I’m one of the youngest out of my colleagues I am on the same role-level as them (if that makes sense) and it’s different to my old job where I was at a start up as a junior developer (not very appreciated there tbh), here however, I feel like I am treated as their equal and in most scenarios depended on, especially if it’s a piece of work I did. I know its not a big deal but I’m not sure how to handle all this importance lol, I can’t lie I do feel sometimes I might have imposter syndrome. How would you deal in a situation like this/do things to improve self confidence?

!rant
tl;dr: programmer's excuse vs civilian excuse funny moment in conversation w/ gf

pertinent info: gf has access to my calendar; I added my class schedule for the upcoming semester earlier today

gf: you're taking human psychology where as im taking human development lol

me: I'm taking human psychology?
wat

gf: <screenshot of my calendar entry (it's human physiology)>
see

me: OH
Physiology
!=psychology
psybnlogy
close enough
the human brain's word recognition relies on lossy compression
not my fault
.-.

gf: ohhhhhh
I don't have my glasses on and my computer is far so that's my excuse lol

me: LOL
I assumed I misread it
didn't even double check your spelling

My last week of vacations. A brake on bussiness programing... lol

Monday:
Receive a phone call from a colegue:
Hi the equipment it not working.
Me: ( upset with the acuracy) reboot that shit!
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😲😨😵😱

Today (Thursday):
Collegue: The printer is not working!
Me: 😡 Im on vacation. Check the cable or try to reinstall the printer...
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

2 fucking hours later:
Collegue try to call
Me: Did not answer... 😡 Fuch this shit.
Colegue send text message saying that they had a problem on the video projector but its ok now..
Me: 😠😡😢😢😢
I'M ON V A C A T I O N

So I rant about my stickers not arriving, and the next rant after mine is one from a guy who recently received his. lol

Reinstalled windows.
Now it updates.
Stayed for 10 freakin minutes on "Working on updates. 100% complete. Don't turn off your computer!" and then went back to 0%. FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RUN LOL ON UBUNTU. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Can we normalize NOT using giant acronyms in GitHub issue threads? Nobody understands what you are saying.

The same goes for you, HackerNews users, we can't psychically jump into your ASCII LOL DDD ABC XYZ brain and automatically know what you mean.

Asked junior how did they find out the location of the bug, got a copy-paste reply from chatgpt explaining the code.

AI is allowed at work, and idgaf if they use it or not. But the whole situation, including the fact of not just replying “I used it to understand/solve the problem”, makes me wonder if SE as we know will end not because AI will replace us, but because AI will make all the fears people had with stack overflow, come true, but worse.

At least with stack overflow people needed to be able to form the question or to search on the website lol.

3d Prints.
So... At this time we think that everything is already invented...
And I keep making new stuff...
New Idea, mini vacuum cleaner... only found one design online and was so badly done... So I made mine.
Happens all the time... Search, nothing I like, do it myself. And worst, I'm not even good at CAD programs lol.

Any Ideas for tools to make?

My DevRant has been in complete and utter silence for the past 2 days... what the hell happened to Alice? I'm subscribed to her and I'm not getting any new rants from her or anyone I am subscribed to lol

I'm looking into GraphQL and so far so good, but I am finding it hard to implement business rules, for example:

1. Receive request with auth token
2. Know who the user is by extractin userId from token
3. fetch data related to that user only.

I was only able to make it allow or deny if there is a token or not lol

Damn brain fog returns. What’s the best stim to get out of this that isn’t cocaine, and I already take adderall and no I’m not taking a higher dose lol

I can’t do shit

My pair partner and I managed to break every feature test written by our 16 strong team today while fixing a login form. Fixing other people's non-refactored rspec tests is not a pleasant experience lol

When angular 2 came out I started working with it on a project and it took some work to migrate from razor to a SPA.
I had a buddy say "You should take all that time and effort and invest it into learning native app languages. This Angular thing is another passing fad". Lol
He eventually started learning it and I was suggesting he'd implement Polymer with his app so if he needed to use the same component in another project, it would be easier since Polymer has a small dependency cost, and offers framework agnostic implementation.
He then told me, "Polymer is not gonna gain any ground because google is behind Angular more so than Polymer." Lol
Anyway, happy Tuesday, y'all.
Oh yeah, he also said that typescript would never stick. :)

Did you guys know that the computers in the back of the Delta airlines' seats run Linux? Lol just tell them it's not working right and they'll reboot it for you 😋

Having fun with my nvidia graphic card 😎..........

I am talking about graphic card's packet not graphic card LOL

Tried rm -rf /* on my Red Hat Vm.
Was expecting the machine to go blank suddenly,but sadly nothing like that happened.

After sometime I stopped the process,and found that no command is executing, not even 'clear' or 'poweroff',lol.

I think deleting system32 in windows is more fun as it shuts down the machine suddenly. XD