Favourite Programming Quote - Whats yours?

"A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things." - Bill Bryson

Found this screen shot on Google Play from the times linuxxx was a kid

Let's make a drinking game!

We will say random words. If there is a JavaScript framework with that name we have to take a shot.

20 minutes later we will need a liver transplant.

Today at school I borrowed an oscilloscope and a few capacitors and used a circuit I made at home to just demonstrate the discharge of a capacitor, since my physics teacher asked me to teach the class about this on Friday
So it's one of those old analogue scopes, so to get a nice line I turned the speed right down and did a long exposure shot with my phone and it turned out brilliantly!

So I work in IT for the police. I just received an "unneeded" encrypted smartphone.

I had to reconfigure it, in order to give it to the next policeman. Unfortunately nobody knew the password and there is actually no way to reset this damn thing.Trust me, i did my research.

About 2 days later i receive an angry call by the policeman that should be using the phone by now.

Policemen: "Why is my phone not ready yet?"
Me: "it's encrypted and nobody has the password."
Policemen: "Well just ask the previous owner then!"
Me:"It's a little difficult..."
Policemen: "Why?!?"
Me: "He shot himself."

We were in a group project with about 7 people.

One of the guys who ran windows needed to work with arduino and couldn't get it to work after hours of trying.

I suggested Ubuntu and they immediately started to bash me for being 'that linux nazi'.

"shut your cock sucking mouths. I'm not a fucking linux nazi, at least give it a fucking shot."

Well, it worked from the first second.

Fuck those cock suckers

Tv gold on NCIS: Los Angeles tonight.

Summarised:

Need access to laptop
Laptop has unhacksble security protocols
Laptop gets shot
Damage from being shot allowed them to hack it

Morale of the story. Bullets can damage code.

interviewer: Do you know HTML?

me: Yes sir!

interviewer: can you tell me its full form?

me: how to meet ladies.

interviewer: get the fuck out of here

Hollywood be like

"Oh no they shot a hole in my CPU, let me just rewrite the code so that it works again. I'll be 5 minutes."

Drinking game: Take a shot whenever you’re staring at work and don’t feel like working.

Bonus game: try not to die or get fired.

*taking interviews of freshmen for the computer club in college*

Me: What languages do you know?
Freshman #1: C, C++.
FM #2: C, C++.
FM #3: C, C++.
...
FM #83: C, C++.
FM #84: Hindi, Tamil, Kannada, English.

I shot myself in the head after that last one.

My school stores everyone's username and passwords (including admins) in plain text on a Windows 2007 server that they remote desktop into.

Whoever thought huge open plan offices were a good idea needs shot in the fucking face with a brick-gun

I played a lot of Command & Conquer when I was younger, and I remember going through the files for C&C: Red Alert. I found one that had all the units names and properties, and wondered what happened if I changed a value. So I changed grenadiers attack speed to something ridiculously fast, and found that it actually changed it in the game!

The light bulb went off in my head, and I then created new units:
- Albert Einstein that shot electricity
- Attack dogs that launched missiles

Granted the animations didn't exist for these so it defaulted to playing their death animations when attacking, which was amusing.

That was the ah-ha moment for me that lead me to pursue programming. It was just so much fun!

Some people deserve to be shot.

There's a difference between a nice font and a practical font 😅

Had an interview in a MNC company.

He: Propose a solution for reading huge logs file like 1 GB and parse errors with today's date.

Me: Gave two solution, one with regex and second with buffering the logs (reason: reading the entire in same shot will cause cpu spike with huge memory consumption) and I fell in love with my second approach. By the way it was on paper.

He: (Without seeing the logic) Your syntax is wrong.

Me: Got frustrated who the hell checks syntax in interview. I asked how may years of experience you have?

He: 10 years.

Me: I don't wanna continue, and I left.

When your client sends a screen shot of image instead of image... 😑😑😑😑😑

Your code has so much spaghetti, there's vomit on my sweater already.

(reposted as a rant cos @yatanvesh said so)

"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...

"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then

"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information

"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot

"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...

Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...

I like to do astronomy and (very) basic astrophotography. First shot I took was of our moon. I try to get out at least once a week (depending on the conditions).

Whoever implemented the data import in Numbers on Mac needs to be lined up against a wall and shot with needles until they wish they were dead.

Why on all of gods unholy green and shitty earth would i want data i import (EVEN IN CSV FOR FUCK SAKE) to be delimited by an arbitrary text width? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHY WHY why would I EVER want to delimit my carefully structured data by fucking text width instead of new line or comma? AAAAARRRHHH

And what fucking big brain genius made this the DEFAULT SETTING for imported text AND CSV FILES. IT STANDS FOR COMMA SEPARATED FILE YOU FUCK BOI MAYBE JUST MAYBE I WANT IT SEPARATED BY FUCKING COMMMMMMMAAAAASSSSSS

People who start their reply to other people's comments with "Wrong." should be shot, or at least receive several hard punches in the stomach, even if their refutation is 100% on point.

It's such an autistic knee-jerk reaction to hit the error buzzer whenever you see false information.

Correcting someone is fine, amazing even, but it's not some game show where you get points for jelling the correct answer as fast as possible.

I wish there was a cryptocurrency which was mined by spreading correct information politely.

The designer of this keyboard should be shot on sight! A set of keys left of ctrl, shift, tab...except esc of course. Pure evil! I'm changing the volume, every time that I have to use shift... :/

Whoever invented glossy screens for laptops should be shot! I can't get in the zone for coding while staring into a freaking mirror!!

just wanted to share this is a before and after shot of me updating node on my work computer

Fun drinking game:

Take a shot every time the support department contacts a developer over a previously answered question.

I was 5 and he was 6
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore #000 and I wore #FFF
He would always win the fight
! !, he shot me down
! !, I hit the ground
! !, that awful sound
! !, my baby shot me down

I never really used Git or any Source Control before but today I decided yo give it a shot.
IT'S FUCKING AMAZING!!
I fucking love branches!!! I have to change the way an app stores configurations and git makes it incrediblyyy easy without risking fucking up everything in production

Client: "Here's a report that we got another company to do, showing everything that's wrong with the site."

* Report shows all suggestions that I originally made and they shot down *

Me: *facepalm*

no matter how big shot programmer you are, you 90% time you will only code
if(condition)
{
// do something
}
else
{
// do something else
}

#wk54
I would like to insert a usb type A at first shot

Fuck Uber!

I requested an Uber to take me Chicago Midway Airport.

They driver takes me to a different airport over an hour away! I nearly missed my flight because he didn't follow directions. To add insult to a shitty situation he charged me an extra $40 for his mistake.

This morning I requested a refund and noted the driver took a long route. They had the nerve to reply and blame it on me! Claiming the drop-off location was not the location original specified. Mother fuckers I have a screen shot!

I am astounded that they would stoop to such low levels as to shift the blame to me. I suppose they were betting I didn't have a screen shot.

Well, time to try lift!

Drinking game: Every time someone complains about the weather take a shot

Live chat with Verizon support online

Wait in line for 30mins finally get an agent

But then she doesn't respond

I take a angry screen shot of the chat and send it to Verizon's Twitter

Get a quick response and the agent replies.

---
Then...

Me: I want renew/upgrade my services at the discount price
Agent: not possible. Contact regular support number to discuss

Me: what if I cancel and sign up again

Her: OK here's the direct number to our retention hotline

A student sent me his code to look for the cause of an error. I spent 2 hours researching if there are any breaking changes in the latest version of AngularJS. Everything looked fine. I could not spot any errors. I tried copying and pasting my own script and link tags, and it worked. I put back his tags, and again got an error.

I almost shot myself in the head when I saw type="text/javascritp" in the script tag he used. I didn't know how to react. It could happen to anybody but I wanted to punch him. Feeling better now.

Money shot 🎯

Fuck you and your bullshit Teams meetings.
I hope you die a painful and slow death while your servers burst in flames and you hang yourselves.
You schedule 4 of them, then bitch about how developers aren’t getting any work done.
Maybe if you didn’t suffocate them with your bullshit meetings they would.
I am looking forward for the contract to expire or in this project so I can finally get some peace.

Fuck your stupid meetings. You deserve to be arrested and shot by the Gestapo (or KGB, whichever you find more evil).

Every time you have to debug, take a shot... this won't end well...

So my boss told be about this game, try it out the next time you have an office party with other developers. It goes like this... You all sit around a table with shots ready to drink at your disposal, each person takes a turn and must simply say a noun, it can be anything. The next person must then Google the noun + '.js' added to the end, if the library exists, that person must drink a shot. Continue until everyone is sufficiently in a vegetated state. Good luck!

Oh my fucking god I deserve to be shot for my stupidity.
I spent an hour in absolute fear trying to figure out what was wrong with my PC - it would boot but the monitor wouldn't show anything.

I'd forgotten that I'd changed to monitor to show HDMI input - but I was using a HDMI-to-VGA converter so the monitor should have been set to VGA input :/

"Why am I a horrible person for following standard linting and thus not using semicolon in my JavaScript code?"

Next rant

"Sometimes I think people who don't use semicola in JavaScript should be shot on the spot."

Lol, love you devrant

Every now and then I see neovim being mentioned here, which sparked my interest. Currently I use vim, vi and the likes. Given that I'm at least somewhat familiar with these, what are the differences between them and neovim, benefits of one or the other, and ease of migration?

As for why I'm not going to Stack Exchange to ask this question - I understand that this will be very opinionated, which I find desirable. There's nothing like actual user experience. But Stack Exchange being the way it is, such questions would be shot down immediately :')

- Be me (Dev)
- Develop website for client that has an online payment integration.
- Notice there is no one for QA and testing.
- Try to raise voice about it but get shot down by management.
- Get order to push the project to production (because the deadline has arrived, therefore the project must be ready)
- Production performance has an error margin of 15% (customers getting their card over/under charged)
- Get blamed and flamed for everything cuz well, its all the dev's fault.

FML

Some people say they use dark themes because it looks cool, but we all know it's for when you're up late programming and don't want your eyes shot to pieces.

While working in Unity i caught this "action" shot of a ragdoll chicken.. Then i couldn't resist...

Had to spent a bit of time doing some statistical analysis today and decided to give R a shot. I could have done it in python but I knew it'd be a bit of hassle.

3 lines of code later I had the plot I wanted.

This only took a couple of years to make.

a journey of @C0D4's life over the years on devRant.

Who knew taking a screen shot every now and again would pay off 🤗

This has been a great year for me programing wise. Learned Go, got my first job working in it.

Not so much for my health. My six year old neighbor came to visit and I guess you could say the mother freaked out. We were just playing in the pool when the police shot me.

This just happened. What the actual fuck!

I'll try my shot to experience. They are bad that doesn't mean I shouldn't experience.

It'll give me some different perspective and learnings.

So I asked my company's tools team to fix a bug in their tools related to testing a major feature of our project. They downgraded it to "low priority" because it's "user-specific". I asked how can this be user-specific when it's a major feature. They came back with "well, you're the only one testing it"... Right...

Since I already posted images of my desktop setups at work(Mac) and home(Linux), I didn't want to repost this week. So, to keep it at least mildly interesting, here's a shot of my garage networking setup.

Pictured:
Ubiquiti Edgerouter-L
Ubiquiti UAP-AC Lite
Drobo 5N
TP-Link cable modem
A big UPS, so we'll still have wifi during a power outage, since that's apparently important
A couple of older machines I'm working on when I have time
A Philips Hue Bridge
An unremarkable 7-port switch
An Ooma phone device
A shitload of my wife's stuff that she's left there on her way in and out of the house.

How. The. Fuck...do these people has a job:
Me: How much to repair my Nexus 6 screen? It's not full smashed.
Tech guy: We'll need to see the phone
Me: Why? I need the screen replaced
Tech guy: Ok...send us a screen shot. it could be a cheap fix

Fucking me side ways! Really?

Threaded API Calls, or rather:

How I killed five server instances in one shot..

Creating 50000 Threads sounds like a good idea in general, the bad part starts when you use start() in a for loop to run them all at once.

No further comments your honor...

Had a panic attack during a coding assignment and now every time I think about that problem I just start spacing. Noice.

Also dear companies: if you wanna ask your interviewees about trying to deduce a theorem out of nowhere, maybe do it in the first test and not in the last one. Cause that’s a shot in the dark to someone who’s not a mathematician and id feel waaay less frustrated if I didn’t give you 6 hours of my life just to end up with an arbitrary task like this.

Java: Cannot convert int to Boolean.
Me: Wait what?.. Ohhh *cries*

I've had too much Vitamin C / C++..
Not used to computer liking me and not letting me shot my head of.. I love you too, Java ..

I have been around in awhile because I’ve been learning PHP/laravel. Holy shit has PHP changed. Composer, Valet, Laravel, and Brew makes life so much easier. I used to talk shot about PHP but it’s now my new favorite language. PHP7 is fantastic.

OK, another crappy joke time.
0 went to a bar and asked for a vodka shot. The bartender gave him 2 vodka shots. He said, "For you 1 is COMPLEMENTary"!

So here is what happens. I have new guy in the office. He thinks he is a big shot or something. Our office time is 9 to 6, but no one comes in at that time.

This guy, he comes at 10:30 and I come at 11. I have been working as a senior dev for 2.5 years now and he is a fresher who joined as a manager which I am still wondering why.

And he tells me you are late and I inform the CEO about this.

One of these days I will tell him that brother the day you show the same commitment I have shown to the company or anything close to it, we will talk.

Waiting for the exact day.

Fun drinking game: work on a legacy system for a few hours. Every time you say "what the fuck?" equals 1 shot.

1. take a screen shot of the desktop (wallpaper and icons)
2. take all icons and put them in a folder
3. set the screen shot as the wallpaper
4. hide the folder containing all the icons in the wallpaper
5. hide the task bar

My stupid TL was fighting for 20 min before begging me to fix my prank

Mother fucking cunts should be shot into the sun...

It's worse enough when you have to deal with many things at once...

But how the fuck can 3 people from 3 different teams have the same bullshit idea to disturb a meeting and just start talking like it's the most normal thing.

YEAH. INTERRUPTING MEETING AND JUST BLABBERING ON AND ON...

Then fucking laughing how funny it is.

Upper management found it absolutely not funny.

Working from home prevented a mass murder today.

The plight of a graphical programmer.

.NET drinking game:
* Drink every time IntelliSense refuses to tell you what the actual error is because it's too busy choking on lambda syntax from a decade ago
* Take a shot every time you discover a closed, unresolved Github issue discussing your current showstopping build/CI problem
* Finish your drink every time the solution to your problem involves either manual edits to your CSPROJ (or whatever) file, or creating a new project altogether and copying all your fucking files over

My contribution to the mug shots

Long story shot,
I was the coder of a time machine and a bug took me 10 minute to the past. 10 minutes later I got to the same bug and got teleported again. This continued a while. I woke up later.

Leslie is a crazy beatch, no wood can't resist her.

After being live multiple years supporting only Safari, Firefox, and Chrome, one customer wanted IE support. After taking a close look at the usage numbers, and discussing with us front-end devs, our product guy shot it down. Pop the champagne!

Freak yeah!!! Just installed my first SSL Certificate on my Ubuntu Server!!!!! 🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾 First time I had my IT friend do it. I thought about contacting him again, but then thought, what the hell, let's give 'er a shot. 2 days and a whole lot of anger and frustration later https:// is a green light!!! 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

I have been on Reddit...
I have been lurking in ProgrammerHumor...

I am not proud of these things...

I got called a "Big Shot" because I didn't think the concept of pointers in C/C++ was ever particularly hard.

If I remember right. I learned in high school how pointers worked when they explained how arrays worked in Pascal. When I taught myself C it didn't ever seem like it was a difficult thing to understand.

Is the concept of pointers really that hard to understand for devs?

The example on Microsoft's page for styling .NET applications is in comic sans.

NEVER take a shot of vodka every time Unity (on Mac) crashes...
You'll end up way beyond drunk before 12am

Do you think I should give Atom another shot or stick with VSCode?
I've tried it several times but I always found it sluggish, slow in everything and bugged. VSCode is so much smoother and fast.

But damn Atom is so much more good looking, especially with nebula theme.

It's like choosing between the nice, decent-looking guy and the rude but definitely good looking fuckboy chad

Hello everyone.

I'm switching phones from Android to iPhone. Mostly because of stronger security policies, longer support for security updates and whatnot.

I would like to know what useful iOS apps you use. Does not have to be dev related. Just hit me with your best shot.

I know that there will be people screaming MUH ANDROID. I don't really care. You do you.

I'm about to move to a new city and one of the websites I'm using adds its name, url and ©️2018 to anything you copy. It is driving me absolutely insane. Trying to find an adress on google? Well you didn't search for [streetname], you searched for [streetname, website name, url ©️2018]. Thank you for copyrighting that public street you fuck. Trying to e-mail an agent? Sorry I can't send an email to [e-mail adress, website name, url].
Whoever thought of this needs to be taken out back and shot.

So I ended up installing Arch Linux as the primary OS in my laptop, and to be honest, I'm not very crazy about it. Because I'm someone who likes an elegant UX, I spent three days and over 50 reboots and 5 reinstalls just trying to get Plymouth to work correctly (in the end, I just said screw it and gave up.) I know, I probably messed something up in the installation or configuration, but I didn't really want to deal with it anymore.

I'm not a big fan of the pacman package manager; I prefer apt. There were several applications I couldn't get to work properly, such as Steam, the Tor Browser, and Wine. All in all, I've basically wasted a week trying to get Arch Linux to work as the daily driver on my laptop, but I guess it's just not the distro for me.

I'm going to give Arch one last shot with the Manjaro distro. I'm hoping that Manjaro's simplified installation and configuration will produce a more usable (in my case) OS, and if not, I'll probably be going back to something Debian-based.

I'm not at all saying Arch is a bad distro. I know many people use it as their daily driver, and I have absolutely no problem with that. I'm not writing this to debate which distro is better, I'm just writing about my experience with it. Arch just may not be the distro for someone like me. At least I gave it a shot, right?

I got the booster shot yesterday but I'm pretty sure they injected me some psychoactive drug. I had the weirdest dreams - I was have in-depth arguments with my post-doc about complexity and deep learning, and I came up with 3 different directions for my research. Also my mom was singing Despacito in the background.
My arm is dead and I can't even connect cables on my beloved robot :(

Regarding the Area 51 news. These guys are really stupid. They’ll deservedly got shot soon as they come close enough to the fence, and even if they get over, then what??

Anyone who know anything, knows that you need to spawn a jet pack, get to the second hanger ASAP, and jump in the Rhino. They can’t touch you after that, even with 5 stars!!

Sometimes my boss wants me to fire a bullet without a gun, they want me to throw the bullet so hard that it feels like it was shot via a gun.

Maintaining a legacy app sucks so bad when you don't even have the full codebase and some douche bag decided to just randomly throw the codebase on the fucking SVN. 😠

How do you have words like "Senior", "Manager" and "Lead" in your job title and have your linkedin image look like a Tinder profile shot of the last time you went drinking in town?

Omitted a couple that were actually normal.

Fucking facebook researcher that make underfitted neural nets and fuck Mark that it's a marketing genius, the only idiot that can make news from a failure. The CEO of Tesla knows it and said Mark is not an AI expert. Bug not feature, it's only a poorly trained and poorly designed neural network having a bad representation of concepts, not a new language and not the fucking apocalypse. Google faced and solved the same issue when start ed using neural nets for zero-shot translations without using english as a translation bridge.

Will happen:
- Leave current shitho...job and join something exciting
- Draw at least 1 manga chapter, im fine if its a one shot or something, i just wanna do it
- Master ocaml
- Move to a big city

Will happen, just not necessarily in 100wks:
- Arduino up my car
- Start a company
- Have at least one open source project that is somewhat successful. Id be more than happy with like 20 stars on github. Currently working on a REST backend generator, that might be big.
- Get a cat.

I hope will happen at least sometime:
- Move to USA
- Finish a Volkswagen collection
- Have a career as an anonymous dubstep artist

"The assumption was that there were subtle differences between the cameras such as quantum efficiency. While shot noise is a Poisson process, for large number of photons, it is almost
indistinguishable from Gaussian noise."

I'm reading my thesis to make sure it makes sense before I submit it, and I'm like - did I write this verbal diarrhea?

So not too long ago I made a rant about this time I told my superiors of a problem and it got shot down because "We don't want to save developer time".

I warned them that the CPU was going to reach it's limit because the issue involves exponential growth on CPU usage the more we develop.

As it turned out, despite my thoughts that we wouldn't reach that limit for over a year, a new development led to it blowing up in their face today.

I am now treated as the expert on the topic and they're rushing to plan my suggested implementation in the next release.

I'm mildly amused.

Soo I’ve been frustrated with my luck in finding a job, but I need to start working!

I have been thinking about starting my own web services (of some type) business.

I need a mentor, or a partner or just someone to talk about ideas with.

How does one go about finding someone like that?

BTW I know this isn’t a networking specific but I think it’s worth a shot.

Thought I'd go along and post a shot of my work area. A bit sketchy, but it works!

this is beautiful

!rant
Flutter is the best SDK I've ever used in my life. So insanely easy to learn and use, and it lets you build both Android and iOS apps?!?!
If you haven't checked it out, even if you've never touched mobile app dev, give it a shot. Super fun and super easy.

I appreciate “elegant” code the same way I appreciate fine wine: pretending to care while quietly sitting, passively listening to snobs drone on about barrel aging and vineyards and languages, statically-typed while simultaneously shutting my brain off, ordering another shot of tequila and working up the courage to fight my dad.

When an analysts opens a ticket about a wrong result csv file but instead of putting the actual file there , he puts a screen shot of it

Personally I like a shot of small-batch, fresh, locally-sourced cocaine.

I think i finally have a good shot at finally becoming an employed web developer. Keeping my fingers crossed

!rant

Our implementation director got bored since yesterday. So, I decided to let him barge in with my colleague and let him manipulate the audio speakers. Things got funny and asked me to code properly so he can take a shot and send it to his friends. What I did, I copied and paste the code and saved as .bat to make the console looked like the matrix while coding. 😂😂

Dear God,
Not a single time in my life I was able to correctly spell "sudo" on the first shot: I always get "sudp" first. Am I praying the wrong prayers?

!rant

How does everyone here like their coffee?
For every cup I drink, it should be espresso (0.35 litres) with three cubes 'o sugar and a little shot of milk.

Drinking game:
Everytime you see a typo in the commit message, take a shot.

I have a cheap crappy drone and while not using it I hang it on the smoke detector. Neither the drone or the smoke alarm have batteries.

I glance up and see a light flashing, freak out, shoot the drone...lights still flashing and I realize it's the smoke detector. Fuck that, there's no batteries. I shoot the smoke alarm and it explodes...battery lands at my feet still intact...

...the alarm is dead, the drone is crying, the toaster is laughing and I can't figure out why the fuck I shot my drone and smoke detector but the toaster doesn't phase me.

(Some of this is actually true)

Yo @dfox @trogus, I know I’ve been a pain in the ass lately with my connectivity issues etc, 🤪 but on the auto renewal for devRant++, the transaction (to my knowledge) has successfully went through (can provide screen shot) but I haven’t received it. Not rant, just curious if it’s something in my end, I want to continually support this amazing community.

So... How do people screen shot windows blue screen of death?

Just tested in production and sent over 3000 leads that shouldn't be sent. Ooops. ;-)

Murphy's law:
When you try to unplug a USB from a FULL USB HUB with twisted (and same color wires)
You always will unplug the wrong usb at fist shot.

I think that this can be applied also to phone chargers,RJ45,RJ11,etc.....

Installed Windows XP in a Virtual Machine today and used it as if it were my host os, people at the classes were like. wtf.. lol. Next plan, setup someone's laptop with Linux and make it look like Windows. Worth a shot lol.

Holy shit. In a meeting that literally makes no sense. We're taking credit for work by claiming story points. Story points. How the hell does that work? Especially since we have told management CONSTANTLY that story points are abstract LOE shit and NOT time spent. Yet I suggest if we REALLY want to estimate who worked what we track time spent I get shot down. You can't get a concrete measurement from an abstract concept. Also, we're being encouraged to argue over who does what? What does THAT help? AND we're not even reestimating if we over or under estimating, but being forced to massage our numbers into the estimate. What the fuck?

Why the fuck everything I make breaks in fucking IE. Microsoft just fucking realize its shot software already. I am sick of doing alternative code for your dumb ass broke, non-updating ass, waterfall method fucking ass, software.

It's in Poland! Thanks guys 😊

Today i was trying to solve a problem on my graphs algorithm (find the shortest path) but i was not able to do almost anything, so i asked for help to a friend.

He started to try to help me, but after a long reasoning we both stopped to understand what we were doing.

After a while, i've decided to run the code totally random and... it worked! And that's not all, it worked better than we were trying to do!

What a lucky shot😎
(Sorry if there are some errors, english isn't my first language)

Cat of the day — mine. Shot on pinhole camera

Most useless feature?

Any this business seems to think is the next great way to make their lives easier - by adding 500 more steps into an already complex series of cowboy processes.

I love and hate my job some days 🤦‍♂️

New programmer who just pick up Python be like , C is shot , is bad , python better blablabla....

Why anyone hate C so much? I personally use C for Embedded Programming, for hardware or is better compare to using python for my case.

I love python , but I love C more. Because without C the rest don't exist. Right?

So stop hating on C. Because you might use it someday.

Anytime I have to Google something. Which is all the time. I doubt myself all the time. Also, when coding our robot and it randomly shot backwards and ripped through a couple table and chair legs. That happened too.

Not fired, but shot by my college, if I create a ticket that our software-ui isn't rendered correctly with font size 72

Fun drinking game: Every time the solution to a coding issue is the one you refrained from trying, take a shot

Here's the changes I propose to the world:
– Every grave should display the formal death cause. Like "asphyxia", "cardiac arrest", etc, not like "was shot dead".
– Every member of a firing squad that performs an execution should have real ammo. There should be no moral escape such as "at least I could be the one with fake ammo so I'm not guilty". Yes you are.
– The word "disk" is deprecated and replaced with "disc" everywhere.

Everything else in this world is fine.

Fuck I can't even. Remember all those rants (mine included) about how users are quite retarded and only report "omg smth wrong, help" without any explanaition or screen shot, or even worse WITH A WORTHLESS CROPPED OUT SCREENSHOT?!

USERS I GET, BUT FUCKING SENIOR DESKTOP SUPPORT GUY DOING SAME RETARDED IT DOES NOT WORK CAN U HELP THING IS MADDENNNNIINNGG

LEARN TO FUCKING READ THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS IN THE FUCKING ERROR DESCRIPTION, YES?

*Ahhh* 😄

It seems like our classroom's computer has been shot multiple times...

Sorry for the image quality.

Let’s play a programmer game. Every time you see a missing semicolon in JavaScript take a shot of coffee.

!(isRant(thisPost));

Submitted my third pull request today in just a couple months as an intern, got told I'm doing a great job and already being considered to move to a more in depth dev team. Honestly a dream come true. Great company, great people, and I have a solid shot at a REAL full time dev position after college. I'm so happy man all that work finally paying off.

If you use ID selectors in a stylesheet for a component you reuse in the page multiple times you should be shot.

At the office, I've recently gone from drinking double cappuccinos to cappuccino with a shot of espresso.
Am I becoming closer to senior developer?

A customer requested the graphic drafts for a website with a serious design. He left me the complete freedom. After six shot down including three drafts inspired to important designers and one inspired to material design, I decided to make something absurd asking the customer his favorite colors. I am ashamed to have created a design with shades of green, white, orange and yellow on a green background. He said it was fantastic.

Fav part of working from home?

Probably nothing.

- Being within eye-shot of my wife.
Wife: "Since your home just sitting there, could you clean the windows?"
Me: "I can't, busy."
Wife: "You're just sitting there clicking, that's not working. You think *I* sit around all day!? Let me tell you what I do all day for you and your children <blah blah blah>.. I ask you to do *one* thing around here, only *one*, and you can't do that! "

I'll inevitably will be doing anything except coding.

- Being within eye-shot of my daughter
H: "Daddy, can you play this game with me?"
<Hmmm...SharePoint or Candyland?>
Me: "Alright baby, let's play Candyland!"

Actually, being home with my girls would be pretty awesome. :)

Recruiter for a well known company somehow finds my personal email, no biggie - it's not the first time they've contacted me. I decide to give it a shot, phone interview is scheduled, they're a no show. Email them 10 after, they want to reschedule, I do a reschedule. Again, no show. Yeah, it's like that... I haven't even heard back now. Seriously, how do these people even hold jobs?

My eyes are opening to a sad reality. It's not just software - people in every industry are as bad at their work as they can get away with.

On the bright side it means that a person who excels at one thing has a shot at excelling at others. Mediocrity is everywhere.

Does anyone know if this white ring around/part of the fan needs to be removed? (Side shot)

(old, but..) JavaScript drinking game!
1. Think of a word
2. If that word exists as a JavaScript library, take a shot!

And there I was, thinking to myself.. "labyrinth.. nah.. that can't possibly exist already.." and oops, little did I know.

It's worth a shot

Here in Spain instead of calling it CS we use the term "Informática", which is closer to the broader IT. Which means that hyped me enrolled in all the "Informática" courses since high school, only to be shot in the face by yet another "Let's learn PowerPoint" course. I honestly hate that.

I've been giving small courses (one week long) to kids at age 12-16 about real programming, starting from scratch to real-world arduino or Java, because that is what I hoped I would have found at their age.

So i’m making my first Angular app here. I commited the first code setup and shot in the PR. I got 40+ comments so i’ve been fixing them all day yesterday.

A part of the comments i don’t understand yet so i ask if the colleage can watch with me and explain ehat how and why.

What does this nitpicker motherfucker do? Add more fucking comments to the PR and totally ignores my requests for explanation. Fucking anti social dick.

I’ve gave my two week notice a week ago, and my boss it’s just avoiding to announce it to the team, people in other areas, and of course to the teammates that will take my responsibilities. What’s wrong with him? He asked me not to tell people so they can “elaborate a plan to make my exit softer for the team” and that’s great but dude, I have one week left and people is still asking me for things that I’ll not handle in a week, I feel sad about the guy that will take that shot.

Drinking game idea. Go to GitHub trending page and take a shot every time you see an AI project

When hosting company changes mysql host name from localhost to mysql. And you spend hour to see why your app does not connect to db because you don't wanna call support. &#-+_$&#&

So it seems Mr. Bean has still got it :)

Anyone have a good Dev meme for this shot? (He's looking at a fat guy with 2 young girls in his arms.)

if you're going to fucking change the project requirements on a daily basis, don't ask me if I ever considered designing the project the way that I initially proposed and you shot down, like you fucking thought of it.

Today, I Had this wild idea of doing a career 360 into cancer research after earning enough (money and suffering) to leave programming in some years. Can't tell how feasible that'll be, seeing as I have no degree in the field. But it's pretty surprising that none of the bright minds throughout history have given it their best shot without hacking it for good

I was too concerned whether or not I should extend a feature, that I forgot to check if I could do so.

Now I've shot myself in the foot by breaking half of the feature and my only solution to make this work out as intented are quite ugly.

10/10 would do so again. Programming like a retard is the way hobby projects are meant to be. Best learning experience you could hope for.

Also, bless git for giving me a second chance in case I've gone full retard mode.

I try to do one thing, I try to make one thing a little better and the universe shovels shit in my face. I’m just trying fix all this old outdated shot and I keep getting shit on in so many ways. I’m trying so hard to not become a bitter angry old man but damn if I don’t understand the bitter angry old mans motives right now. Fuck this ongoing onslaught of crashes and shit shows.

Dev rant needs to work more on their algos to show rants! Since I posted one bout php , every other rant I see is bout php now and I think I just shot in my feet with this rant 😂oh whatever.

I'm hosting dancers for BluesShout! a dance festival in Chicago. Three of the people I'm hosting are developers (two girls, one guy). There are a lot of engineering types that dance. If you haven't done any social dancing, you should really give it a shot. Find a Lindy/Swing, Blues or Contra group and take a class. You might love it. 💃💜

I remember a recruiter reaching out to me after I applied to a company and we set up a phone interview. When the date arrived, she did not call. I emailed her a few days later and she did not reply. A few weeks later she contacted me again, and since I hadn't secured a job yet, I decided to give it another shot and we set up another phone interview. Guess what? She didn't call. Second strike was too much for me, so when she emailed about a couple of weeks later to know if I was still interested, I did not even bother to reply.

I absolutely LOVE being shot down the moment I bring up an idea just because they think it's hard. What if I want a challenge? NOPE. I patiently wait as I want to cry in bed all alone.

So, was testing a classic Mac an old friend sent over and realized an interesting convergence had occurred in my office.

In the attached shot you can see the following:

Center: A Macintosh LC III - effectively the last of the 68k Mac line
Right: A PowerMac G5 - one of the old cheese graters, and the last major release of the PowerPC line
Left, under the monitor: A 2020 Mac Mini - effectively the end of the Intel Mac line

The LC III gives a startup chime, but I wasn't able to get a video signal out of it using the Apple-to-VGA adapter I was using. Otherwise I'd be posting a shot with all 3 up and running.

Me yesterday:

"I think I've been too harsh on desktop Linux. Maybe I'll give it one more shot. Ok, debian 9 looks decent."

- Unetbootin fails to recognize usb drive

"Hmmm ok. I'll use ether to to put the iso directly on the drive."

- Bios requires disabling of secure boot

"Uhhh..I guess I'll just disable it in the bios."

- Debian fails to configure network

"Lol fuck this."

:-(
Firefox doesn't map correctly the controller (Xbox One) but it works on Chrome. (FF on Android Works)

This is literally the first time (for me) that something works on Chrome and not on FF. (at first shot)
usually it is the opposite.

One point for Chrome (this time)

but still 6,022*10²³ Points for FF.

Go home clock. You're drunk...

My friend just realised that he shot an entire video of a person infront of green screen, while that person was wearing a pant with green stripe.

Here's an idea for new drinking game
In circle one after another coders picking absolutely random word, and google it in format <word>.js and if there's a JS library named like that, guy that said that takes a shot
The one who survives -- wins!

In the darkest dankest parts of the code, I have discovered a way to get the tag UNDEFINED to show up in this rant. They call things that are unknown a black box. But you see, if you have a good enough shot gun, you can begin to blow enough holes through the box to figure out what's inside. I never said that whatever was inside the box was going to make it out... I just wanna get a good idea of what was inside.

Mounjaro side effects are kicking my ass. Second week somehow worse than the first week.

First week, day after shot was the worst. Had really bad nausea and only managed to eat 10 saltines. All day.

Second week, two days after shot, woke up just in time to go to the bathroom and projectile vomit (making me acutely aware of the fact that I haven’t puked in *years*). Took that day and the next off work.

Now I’m feeling a lot better on the puke/nausea front, but constipated as heck, desperately hoping that that resolves soon, and going back to work.

But self-reflections are due.

Y’all don’t know how much I hate writing self-reflections.

But I’ve lost almost a pound a day the last 10 days, so … yay?

Ever suggest improvements and get shot down at every turn? I was discussing automating our release process today and suggesting that instead of having to do everything manually and babysit the build, we should let Jenkins deal with releasing and the attitude was that we shouldn't even try because we'd spend more time maintaining the automation and wouldn't gain anything. Obviously I disagree, but it seems like I'm always coming up against shit like this.

Our requirements gathering is another point of contention; I think we could be way better at it if we invested more time talking to customers before a project starts but the attitude is to get straight into development and deal with that later.

I don't know why I even bother sometimes...

I've bought my new laptop (vostro 5471 with ips, 8250u, 8gb ram, 256gb ssd) and it came with ubuntu.
I was keen to give linux a shot but I just got frustrated and installed windows. Now I feel dirty on the inside. Any tips to get comfortable with linux? Distro recommendations are also welcome.

Well my nexus 5 showed up and got UBports installed on it.

Quite like the OS actually, yet to test it's desktop functionality but the only downside is the lack of developers, really suffers from the 'look at me! im an os too!' issue of there being almost nothing but web apps.

If you have a supported device I recommend giving it a shot, has a lot of good ideas!

In a conversation about which editor to use to edit pod file, this guy said nano.

I thought what a great idea to piss off both vim and emacs people in a single shot 😂

Every once in a while the flexibility of dynamic types comes back and bites you in the ars:

So I created method that returns the date significance (day, month, year) or null when no date is set.
I chose a class constant DAY with the value 0.
This is not a problem in if statements as I always use === but in this case a switch made more sense. And as you can guess no date set (NULL) was handled in the self::DAY (0) case... 😐😑😶 Silently resulting in wrong results when no date is given! #£#@$& (and other comic swearing symbols)

Even though php7 finally has decent type hinting resulting in much clearer defined API's we can still go very wrong.
More love to Go for less verbose static typing! To bad we can rarely use it at the office 😥

Let’s just face it. Once the majority of people understand, data science (machine learning on custom behaviour mostly) will be the most disgusted job in the world. Mind boggling! You get shot right between the eye by doing it.

Why should I use DuckDuckGo over Google?
I wanna give it a shot.

I shot myself in the foot again!!

These incident usually happen at restless night.

Some night I become too restless so I do what any programmer would do, I program.

The "novel" idea just come up and I code until I become too tired. I usually finish the prototype of the project before I fell asleep.

I usually found out that I have reinvent the wheel the next morning! Great. My "novel" idea is not too "novel" after all.

It is hard to find the novel project these day since it is too hard to beat the decade of collective intelligence of programmer.

!tech

funny that ever since i started working out regularly, my craving for cheese has shot up. i usually have cheat meals every weekend, but my favourite ( and most harmful) cheat food is a Domino's pizza with a cheese burst base. i try to have that atmost 1 a month but damn... that burst of cheese in mouth gives me an orgasm session of 30 minutes.

today i had it and now am missing the workout lol

New job had me working on a Mac.. great! Let's give this a shot and see what the fuss is about.

One year later and I can now knowledgeably say that macOS is balls slow, the worst Unix I've used day to day, Debian/Ubuntu 4 lyf.

ASMR: i shot my fucking dick of with a damn firecracker

Well, f*ck off Salesforce database system. :-)

Whoever decided to make ClickOnce behave the way it does should be dragged out into the street and shot.

I wanna have a very funny email account so I can actually use it for job applications I'd likely be rejected from. Just in case I ever have one.
Something like mycockwarpstimespace@gmail.com, or something even more bizarre.
What's your best shot?

I hate society for multiple reasons.
Stay safe guys.
"And after the gunman was shot dead by police, they reportedly remarked on the nice top they were wearing."

One of our integration solutions (via Webservices) had some issues. I had to switch on http logging to see what might be the issue.

On average, those logs are around 20MB when there is a bunch of traffic. But the solution brought a heap pf traffic through, those logs shot up to 1GB in size.

Had to delete the logs, since they took a million years to open, and told our vendors that the logs are not showing us anything 😅 I told no lies

Just when I think I have finished all tasks for implementing a feature, there comes along the way a set of additional subtasks blowing the estimated deadlines by a pretty long shot.

I was playing with the october cms this morning and I just can't imagine this shot beeing faster than me using plain stuff. 😕

Tell me your opinions on this.

A contact of mine asked me to try and recover emails she had deleted from her gmail. I told her if this is the case, I cannot help and she needed to contact google.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't accept this and kept asking me to try, so I reluctantly gave it a shot.

As I thought there was nothing I could do.

I am now half expecting her to ask me to try and access googles backups.

IM A GAMES DEVELOPMENT STUDENT, NOT MR ROBOT!

Worked for a bozo I met on freelancer platform, we communicated and the dude gave me some tasks on mobile to theme the application and add some specifics I wasn't awarded project and I thought I was playing nice in order to win project and show ability whatfffff!!!!!, I didn't see it coming. To cut story shot I finished the job sent the apk and sent the code and the guy never responded again, what am I please ? a bozo too or a dunce and a Dunder head. I can't explain what I just did.

If I wasn't rejected for being mentally unfit, I'd have joined the Navy probably.
But I got rejected so I focussed more on dev.

Alternatively, I'd probably try to become a pro gamer buuut I gave up my shot for doing so to become a dev instead (and yes, I *actually* had a shot at becoming a pro gamer during my teens if I pushed through)

I was construction management for ~9 years, then I quit with really no back up plan, and decided to pursue a career in development. After a little self education I started checking Craigslist every day for internships/entry positions, and applied for all of them. Within a couple weeks I found a company willing to give me a shot, 2 years and a few agency jumps later in Still kicking.

It's a bit late but what do these specs mean?

The f and the 16/20.

I thought I was getting 20mp but all the camera apps say maz is 16.

And for RAWS, dinner say 13, OpenCamera says 16.

What’s your pre-programming ritual? Personally, I like a shot of rum with a dash of lime.

I know I think and say this way more than I should, but.....

Thanos was Right..

Whoever decided that working with exclusive check-outs with teams in TFS was a good idea should be shot. What an absolute ball-ache!

Anyone use the coffee machine as a distraction when bored and between projects ?
Just trying out the different varieties... We have this weird "Espressochock" that's basically hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, shit is weird...

In my new job the main task of the team is to refactor 16 old java apps, when I was about to shot myself they told me I was going to another department.

Still have to deal with some old ass stuff(cobol and a few old Java apps) but it’s mainly new projects.

I guess there’s still a god above us.

Fucking hate explaining and convincing people why Linux is better.. The least the can do is give it a shot and experience themselves.

Be me.
Read corpo spam.
"It's good to KISS at work"
WTF.
Keep it short and simple.
WTF**2
It's "keep it simple, stupid"
"Keep is shot and simple" would be KIS-AS

Making some changes to a Blue Prism process I have never seen before

Q: Can we test these changes before going live?
A: No. We are going to pinpoint the problems on the road

Q: Nasty. However we can retry the process if anything goes wrong
A: No. It runs 5:00 to 17:00

Q: Wait, so I have one shot at making this shit work and it's tomorrow?
A: Yes

Yesterday at 2:00 I noticed 2 of the 3 machines are dead, now the process is self destructing every 5 minutes and my mentor, who usually spend weeks without answering phone calls, apparently learned again how do smartphones work 'cause this time he did fucking call.

OneNote sucks, don't know why it was chosen as a daily update tool. It doesn't sync properly with some people's poor connections, then some junior (who isn't very proficient with computers) decides to create a new update page every once in a while and nobody knows WTF is going on. I suggested some better tools for daily update notes before, but it gets shot down every time by the other lead programmer in a different squad. I can't even complain about it in retro, it has gotten shot down there too before. I give up.

Is there something wrong with me for trying to make work experiences a bit less frustrating and efficient?

Grab ya keyboards, when you see a bug
Call the dev, when you see a bug, uh
Who shot me, but ya QAs didn't finish
Now ya bout to feel the wrath of a menace
Dev, I debug em' up

Coder Shakur - Debug Em Up

Wanna make a good outdoor shot but only have a bad camera on hand? No problem!
1. Place the sun into your frame
2. Click it to adjust exposure
3. Shoot
Yes, this limits what you can shoot, as it’s not always possible to keep the sun in the frame. But, in exchange, the sheer amount of light will make your pic _very_ sharp, as if it was engraved, colors will be restrained and balanced on pretty much every camera, noise level will be zero, and a REAL lens flare will serve as a nice finishing touch.

The evolution of code, in Python:
-Many scripts
-Refactor common functions into a Utility class
-Make the scripts into classes/methods with a "static main"
-Create a super script to run them all

I'd provide a screen shot of the last but to much propriety info... But yes it looks short and simple 😄😊