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Customer: how will this heading look in bold?
Me: Hold a sec, I will show you *opens developer tools in chrome and increments font-weight*
Customer: NO NO NO, undo this. I don't want you to mess up my website.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
Phone rings
Uh oh
Answers the phone
Its my boss
>the latest tool you made isnt working
Um... Yes it is?
>we cant run it because its a jar file
Um..
>how to you run a jar file?
Um... You click on it?
>it doesnt work, nothing shows up
(Maybe if you fucking read my documentation, you would see that it just generates the files you need)
>there are no files
Yes there are we tested on every possible hardware, theres no way to fuck it up
>there are no files
Okay maybe you just dont see them on your desktop, move the jar to an empty folder
>how do i do that
*hangs up*26 -
Fell asleep on my first day in my very first project. When I woke up, I saw an email from our manager with the subject "No sleeping please.". No email body. 😂9
-
I had a nightmare that I was running "sudo rm -rf /" on my computers for no reason.
True story.
I woke up yelling.4 -
Boss: Every day is a new opportunity to start fresh
Me: Can we start over this project because I fucked it up and I don't want to clean it
Boss: No4 -
I discovered this the 'new' open source OS by Google named Fuchsia. Build from the kernel up so no Linux.
17 -
FUCKING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
I NEED TO FUCKING WORK!
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT POLITICS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RANDOM FUCKING DREAMS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT COINS OR THE PRICE OF GOLD.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME EXPENSIVE PLANE OR BOAT OR CAR YOURE NEVER GOING TO BUY.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT CHINA.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DRAMA.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THE ARBITRARY FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU BLABBER ABOUT.
STOP. WASTING. MY. TIME.
I'M THE ONLY ONE PAYING THE BILLS
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO IT!26 -
Me: "Back your phone up, or you'll regret it."
*6 months later
Them: "I've locked myself out of my phone, how do I get my pictures back?!"
Me: "Did you back it up?"
Them: "No..."
Me: 🙃6 -
anyone else just wake up one day and just isn't in the mood to do any work and feels like they are making no progress.7
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LISTEN UP! This is a robbery 🔫👺. We wanna harm no one. We're after devRant's 500++ - not yours. Your 500++ is protected by dfox. You're not gonna loose a stress ball. Think about your code. Don't try be a hero. Now shut up, and stay down. And this will be over in no time!9
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I played skyrim, and i thought yes.. i want to make that...
and now i am a very successful CTO and cofounder of a video game startup thats blooming and already made 7 figure profits
no, no im not, i ended up making websites for very little money...7 -
"Schrödingers CPU": When your processor randomly and for no apparent reason spins up to 100% and brings the whole system to a halt. Bringing up task manager takes forever,
and when it finally appears so you could see what process is the culprit, it quickly drops back to normal again leaving you with no clue on what happened.7 -
Cleaned up my email and deleted 45k emails and unsubscribed from ~80+ services and added ~100+ filters to sort and auto-delete new emails. Now I have no unread messages.16
-
No one is going to hold your hand in the real world.
Now go on and fuck up some more so you can learn more.
3 -
Been trying to debug a problem this whole morning.. Gave up, went outside for a smoke.. Came back and bug is no where to be found...9
-
> le server suddenly stops working, no boot, no POST, no beeps, no video
*le frantic cursing on how perhaps that's why the fucking thing was only €60 🤬*
*takes out RAM*
> le server still not booting
*places RAM back without doing anything else*
> le server boots up again
🤔🤔🤔
Is this what they mean with things like "compile it again and somehow the compiler will not complain anymore after a while"?16 -
- We need a „Save Session“ - Button in the Navbar.
- No problem
- ... and the icon should be a thumbs up!
Yeah... uuuh... Makes perfect sense... 🙃3 -
Just got picked up for a project. 20,000+ code base, no comments, no docs, variable names like x, xx, xxx, no function name conventions, and a mishmash of Czech, French and English class names.
I thought this job was too good to be true. #fml4 -
Last follow up rant for now on the Linux job hunting. Recruiter called and said that the employer is no longer interested in me. Slightly sad but hey let's keep the chin up and continue job hunting!10
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First tor relay is up and running. Works well, all good.
Want a faster one as well (nearly 1gbs) and trying to set it up but the control port won't get its fucking ass up. No clue what's going wrong :/
Probably missing something but idk what.
Grrrrrr.15 -
This is my debugging pal.
He gobbles em all up.
No, really, he is. This isnt just for the practical humor. Hes actually my debug pet thing.
9 -
Made up my mind to quit my new job yesterday. Im constantly bored. Either I have no work assigned no matter how much I ask for more, or I get handed work where the solution is already identified.
Obviously gonna find a new job first, wish me luck!8 -
I'm holding a programming class today, it's an open-door event, so anyone can come and try it out.
Nothing too much, just basic things.
I've been holding it for 30 min... To no one... No one showed up...7 -
When no one told you that being a software engineer would entail putting up with other peoples shitty code for the rest of your life3
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*launch software*
> goes tits up with no info
*restart machine, launch software*
> still goes tits up
*su to the user it runs as and run it manually because fuck you shitstaind*
> still goes tits up
*launch with debug logs enabled*
> suddenly works
What is this black magic?!10 -
Me: "You know, if I take maybe an hour I bet i can finish this before I sleep..."
Reality: NO. NO YOU CAN'T. YOU'LL STAY UP UNTIL 5, AND IT'LL WORK EXACTLY LIKE I DID YESTETDAY.3 -
When the client rings up saying the website is down. I say can you see any other sites. They say, no, nothing is coming up. It's your internet connection, kindly fuck off!
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Ive never really used vim, and therefore not completely understood all the jokes about it..
Yesterday, i somehow ended up editing my crontab with vim.
I have no idea how i managed to quit it, but something worked.
NOTE: No hardware was damaged in the process9 -
I've discovered there's two sections of devRant:
- Individuals in the workforce fed up with /r/programmerhumor and who hate Twitter
- Teens with a superiority complex, no friends, and acne12 -
Client be like :
I want this feature to be added
No I don't,
No I want,
No I don't,
let me fuck you up then I will decide.1 -
What the fuck is wrong with the designers? We have had meetings with the client, a proposal drawn up, a project spec written, budget agreed, witeframes drawn up exactly to spec. Designer involved in all stages for input and ideas. Now the designers have the wireframes, they are supposed to create based on these. No they make up what goes on the pages that bare no resemblance to the wireframes in terms of requirements. I am fucking fuming. I have sent the designs back with a note. Please provide designs based on the wireframes.17
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You have a question.
You google it; nothing comes up.
You read the documentation; no good.
You ask it on stackoverflow; no answer.
You are in... The Twilight Zone4 -
Everyone is ranting/posting about Stephen Hawking RIP &such...
And I'm just sitting here, waiting for his chair to take over the world & shit to hit the fan.. O.O
P.S. no discrespect meant to the guy, I think he was awesome..14 -
Long Time No See #Devrant
Been working on this, a new take on a classic game.
Just finishing up, Stay Tuned
4 -
I had an interview scheduled over skype a few days back. NO ONE FREAKING TURNED UP TO TAKE IT!!!!!
No mail from HR regarding reschedule/cancellation even till date..
I seriously wanna ask their management "WHAT KIND OF COMPANY ARE YOU RUNNING BROTHER ??!!"4 -
Ah, the awkward moment when you're told to join a conference call to "just listen in the background so you know what's going on"
...and then no-one else from your company turns up, so you're stuck trying to appease a client while having absolutely no idea what's going on...5 -
Government: Taxes have gone up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.
Supply Chain: Manufacturing costs have gone up due to lack of supplies!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.
AWS: Server costs are up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.
Employee: Cost of my services have gone up.
Company: Listen here you little shit.12 -
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.2 -
Anyone else tell their apps and databases to "behave" and "no acting up", the day before they go on vacation for a week?3
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My love for web development has come to an end, I'm no longer enjoying it but sadly I can't just get up and leave work 🤷♂️7
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MS paint is going away...
Wait no it's not...
SHUT UP! No one cares about paint. No one even uses it anyways. And no, because you opened it twice last year to crop a screenshot does not count as using it.15 -
DevRant setting says "Join the Dark Side?"
No no no...It's 2017, shouldn't it be called the "Other Side"? Apparently a bunch of monkeys get offended by every single damn thing.
Grow TF up, ya Monkeys.5 -
!rant
Snow may be around
There may be no sound
Except for the quiet hum
Of a devs system
While you want to stay up and code
Don't forget to decorate your abode
For it's that time of year to put up the tree
And surround yourself with family4 -
It's 2:37. I was up until this time 3 times this week working on projects for 6 different clients. I have no reason to be up right now except to be on DevRant.2
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This run up to Christmas is the shit. Everything is suddenly urgent. No time to do a proper job. If that isn't bad enough, you are also tasked with thinking up some ideas for family Christmas presents, as if i give a flying fuck. I dont mind the break for the holidays but i fucking hate Christmas but have to put a brave face on and celebrate (what exactly am i celebrating). And no scrooge comments please.7
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Why do I have no problems writing code and designing databases, but draw a complete blank when trying to come up with a good database username for the code to use?3
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Not sure of devRant is broken, or there's really been no rants for an hour 🤔
So what's everyone up to?9 -
> raw http request injected in the model
> 400 lines long method, followed by three 300 lines long methods
> no autocomplete, no comments
> code called by the whole application, I mess up once there's at least 150 other components that might break
> no documentation, no tests
> pyramid of doom, 13 levels of indentation
Those are the same people getting all puffed up because the cat dared to sit on my shoulder during a call. Management focused on the real fucking problems, no doubt.4 -
no matter how late you stay up working on a project (4-5am), you know you still have to wake up with a broken body to get to work5
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A lot of people woke up "early" today (7:30am) just to preorder the new Xbox and brag about it...
I wake up at 5:30am each fucking morning and there is no console release. 😑9 -
It's a week late notice but...
I got my first actual-real-paid-not start-up dev job!
And I have no one to celebrate it with... Toronto..?7 -
2 days until I leave my job and I am assigned a large, legal requirement task to complete, with no time to plan or opportunity to hand over the work. No way it will be done in time, and no teamwork, so no one else will be up to speed on it when I leave, and I daresay I'll be blamed for it not working to their 2 sentence specification! Yup, that's why I'm leaving folks!1
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Use Cache wisely, otherwise they gonna pile up and no one would like to clean that shitty mess
Pic source: Instagram
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Is this some properly fucked up interpretation of GDPR or what??!
We must capture your personal information, for no reason other than to prove we're not abusing your personal information??
2 -
opened up my laptop at the car dealership where I am chilling at rn while I wait on my car's service to be done.
I open my laptop and start working on some small fix that I had forgotten about for work.
OMG guess what? no one is looking at me doing shit in the computer because in reality no one gives a flying fuck like most of you attention whores wanna make it sound like.
No one thinks you are hacking because you opened up a terminal in public.
Bola de jotos ridiculos.15 -
Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂3 -
Homies with the "there is no cloud" merch acting like they're straight up Morpheus-ing average people's existences.4
-
Imagine
websites didn't use unnecessary cookies,
JavaScript was only used when needed,
no trackers, no ads, no telemetry, no user
data saved when it doesn't benefit the user.
*Wakes up in cold sweat*9 -
Called someone special...
She didnt pick up...
Then was no "CALLBACKS" for 2 days...
Which made me break my "PROMISE"...
(JS and NodeJS DEVS will understand)4 -
My company has no new development for me to do. And hasn't done for a month or two.
Up side - today is resigning day! Couldn't be happier4 -
Ah, the old locked up non-gui thread. Bastard gets me every time. My monkey brain says "Button still work, so no infinite loop". Oh, but there DO be infinite loop.
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Dev's talking about feeling bad for having no reputation on stackoverflow, meanwhile I don't even remember my username or the email I used when I signed up 😂3
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wow... no kidding.... so C++ is like a language without a compiler holding ur hands and catching u when u screw up...
8 -
Waking up in the morning excited thinking that someone might have answered the question that you posted at night before going to bed. 38 views yet no answer.
1 -
Serverless is like our Hoverboard. It's not "no server" and its not "a board that hovers".
Whoever comes up with these names deserves a medal for trolling the tech world.5 -
as a C# dev every time i have to code something in JS i'm just ranting because
- no types
- no fucking errors
i tried to move a Oval in an HTML5 canvas via Drag and Drop and after one hour I gave up...
such a fucking creepy broke language..
as a proof, if js wouldnt be that fucked up why is there typeScript, CoffeeScript, Brython, ... ?
Cant wait to finally use WebAssember...(really)9 -
Oh no! What have I done? I opened up devRant at 8:00am and it's now 9:55am. This is literally my biggest time sink and I love it.
-
You're all fucking idiots with no thoughts of your own. No one gave a shit when Drupal and Django made the master/slave change 4 years ago because the idea of the "regressive left" wasn't the cultural enemy of the zeitgeist.
Think for your fucking selves instead of being so brain-dead and reactionary to something that doesn't even affect you.
Fucking neo-reactionary bullshit, that's what it is. You people don't care, you just want an excuse to rant at "teh SJWs".
Fuck.18 -
How can you fuck up your code so badly that what should be a reasonably simple desktop app is lagging on any system, no matter how fast?8
-
Used LinkedIn for a year: no jobs or responses whatsoever.
Uses Indeed for two days: 3 responses and 2 interviews set up in that time frame. -
The team spirit in our team has improved over the past 1 month with this etiquette..
*walk up to team member
*no greetings
Just say " bring yourself back online"
Watch them light up..share those ten Westworld seconds..ask for what you need
..and the hell back to your desk
..cheers -
No users found with username @devrant
Is it unavailable or no one ever came up with having it as username?21 -
So in C++ there is no garbage collector to clean up the mess u leave behind?
And now i feel like a garbage collector.... always cleaning up after monkeys... :(
13 -
I don't have a life.
So I'm back at work on a Saturday afternoon (admittedly, I prefer this to staying home or going out to ... Clubbing? Idk what the youth does nowadays) and just about every sound frightens me. Like, I don't mind the squeaky building, but my hormones are off and just about everything sends me into a panic mode. (my mental health rn is... funny 😬) so, I was thinking, I should make something thay covers up the squeaks. Like, plays something classic over squeaks.
... Now, "psychopaths in your area" could use this to their advantage and direct their own music pieces. 👀10 -
Being a developer is a fucking struggle and no one fucking understands it.
Trying to keep up with new technologies and working with Project Managers that wants stuff to be delivered in no time is what makes you regret your career sometimes..
Maaan I FUCKING HATE THIS JOB!!!8 -
Just sitting here in class, when all the sudden my profs code shows up in the schools hall for no apparent reason....
2 -
And just when I was having a shut eye, my mom woke me up, because WiFi wasn't working..😒
> Half asleep
> No coffee1 -
Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅4
-
Scouring the internet for documentation, then you find a promising google result
THEN IT'S A FUCKING FORUM THAT I HAVE TO SIGN UP FOR FIRST
no thanks -
0. The conference room TV has no sound.
1. I submit ticket to Facilities.
10. Facilities closes ticket saying that's up to Service Desk.
11. I submit ticket to Service Desk
100. Service Desk closes ticket saying that up to Facilities
110. ???
111. Profit2 -
Fuck you Windows 10, WMI Porvider host taking 22% of an i7 CPU for no reason.
Doesn't matter what PC you have, Windows will fuck it up, whatever it takes11 -
anytime anyone asks me to write a solution to fizzbuzz - i do it in brainfuck because even if i screw up...no one knows. :P
++++++++++[>++++++++++<-]>>++++++++++>->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-->+++++++[->++
++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++>>+++>>>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++
+[-<++++<++++>>]>>-->++++++[->+++++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++++>>+>++
++++>++++++>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++++[-<+++<+++<+++>>>]>>-->
---+[-<+]-<[+[->+]-<<->>>+>[-]++[-->++]-->+++[---++[--<++]---->>-<+>[+
+++[----<++++]--[>]++[-->++]--<]>++[--+[-<+]->>[-]+++++[---->++++]-->[
->+<]>>[.>]++[-->++]]-->+++]---+[-<+]->>-[+>>>+[-<+]->>>++++++++++<<[-
>+>-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>+>>]<<<<<<]>>[-]>>>++++++++++<[->-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>
+>>]<<<<<]>[-]>>[>++++++[-<++++++++>]<.<<+>+>[-]]<[<[->-<]++++++[->+++
+++++<]>.[-]]<<++++++[-<++++++++>]<.[-]<<[-<+>]+[-<+]->>]+[-]<<<.>>>+[
-<+]-<<] -
You know what's fucking horrible?
Implementing new features to an Android app in production that another dev wrote...
...which has no architecture, no documentation, no modularity, no testability, everything runs on the UI thread, filled with spaghetti code and it somehow works smoothely so I have to not fuck it up.
Oh and I'm also a junior. So fuck me, right?1 -
Honestly?
No way.
No matter what you give up for your family and friends.
It's never enough.
"You're always tired"
"You're not interested enough in my/our stuff"
"No wonder you won't proceed with your carrier, when you act like that"
C'mooooooon!
Give me a chance to build up a regular life.
Most Ppl = Egotistical piles of crap.
Sorry for this dark rant :/2 -
No way!!! a theme update messed up all my work in a WordPress plugin, I need a way to inherit a theme plugin and edit it using a child plugin, but no, WordPress is completely a piece of shit!!
ps: Grammarly says this rant sounds optimistic.21 -
Coming up with a really cool inventive way to fix something that didn't look possible...... but no one will know cause you made it look so easy and no one actually understands your job. It's fine.3
-
Mac fucking book pro! No! Just because I brushed up against you doesn’t mean I want you to boot up! Do you think I’m that eager to turn you on? Is the usual brain dead Apple user that fucking lazy to not wanna press a button to turn his computer on? And there’s no fuckin’ way to change this behavior!? I tried changing system variables but none of the suggested tips work. And you even have Apple support people ask: "why WOULN'T you want it to boot up if you sneeze on it?" FUXKKLK13
-
♪ All around me are familiar faces
Worn out braces, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily standup
Going nowhere, going nowhere
The bugs are filling up their tracker
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow ♪3 -
One of the biggest challenges for me learning to program is my memory.
Some people can pick up concepts easily and have a field day. I have to keep practicing until I memorize it properly, and even then I have the tendency to struggle.
Does this mean I give up? Helllll no. I'm far from giving up with all the progress I've made.4 -
First week in a new company... Everything looks soooooooooo complicated, I've got no idea how I am going to catch up 😅4
-
- Phone screen with HR - went well
*set up interview with CEO*
- Interview with CEO - went well
*set up tech interview with a dev*
- Tech Interview - interviewer doesn't show up
I sent followup email, asking if we needed rescheduling - no response
I don't understand why I was ghosted like that, at least they could've sent a message to reject me or something? Seemed like a waste of time.5 -
Thanks for the reminder, wk17. To get unstuck: *pomodore*. Set a timer for 30 to 45 minutes, under which you are only allowed to concentrate on a single thing. No email, no looking up why your editor doesn't find declarations, no tuning of the red color of your terminal that is to bright, no compulsively opening devRant.
Time's up, do whatever for 5 to 10 minutes, and repeat.1 -
Never new setting up a mail server could be a huge pain 😭
Two days still no luck... Let's see how long it takes13 -
It's nice to see people posting what they've been up to during their free time.
Oh wait, did I say nice? No, fuck you and your slightly better circumstances!1 -
I've previously shown you the infoscreen showing that it has no boot devices to boot up. Now I'm showing you an infoscreen that successfully booted up, but didn't autostart the program my school uses for infos. :/ EDIT: It was booted up, because you can see date and time, but something went wrong with the program
-
You know the old adage "cost, speed, quality, pick two."
I've come up with my own.
Shitty jobs you'll forever be stuck in with no way out: unreasonable demands and coworkers that drive you insane, pay below the poverty line, no sleep.
Pick two.
More likely, pick three.6 -
When you see your calendar isn't filled with useless huddles and stand-up meets, which have no purpose except distracting and disrupting your flow and focus.
That's how! 😡1 -
December 3 2018 - > present
I stopped making websites and therefore am no longer required to keep up with all the fancy trendy js frameworks3 -
Ken Thompson. Zero ambition but incredible achievements. Bottom up programmer, no bullshit, and a great sense of humor.
-
PO: "Hurry the fuck up!"
me: "Well I'm sorry but no amount of wanting will speed up development. Development is complicated. Understand that".
Non-techies are super irritating.2 -
I once had to review and transform the code of one of my colleague at school which had no indentation, no spacing and was a clusterf*** of syntax errors. The nightmare was that it was all done in the ancient Turbo C++. So I opened up plain ol' Notepad and whipped up some decent code and helped him out of a tight situation.
Now he is no longer a programmer. :|7 -
So I installed the JACK audio connection kit on my Linux box, set up drivers, configured routings properly, etc etc.
Tried playing basic sounds. No output. Panic.
Redid configuration, tried again. No output. Panic++
Reinstalled JACK, tried again. No output. Panic++
Reinstalled drivers and checked ALSA (audio subsystem). All good. Tried again. No output. Panic++
Hit the Mute shortcut on my keyboard to unmute my speakers, tried again. Worked. :facepalm:
I am such an idiot, fml.1 -
Firefox by far :)
At least as a program I start up my self.
I do use a fair number if other to but no other comes close.1 -
teaching myself Java servlets
ide refuses to recognize my tomcat server
me: ...... no one's using java servlets right?
*nods to self, gets up and leaves laptop*4 -
So, I go to set up my avatar.
And no option for white hair!
Please hurry and add the option while I still have some left!5 -
Ran out of mobile data, go to top it up and it's £3.00 for 100MB or £9 for 1GB ... I'll just wait 3 days with no internet13
-
No way. I hope this is a joke...else its not helping building up trust in their competence (Australian vpn provider)
1 -
Chief Software Engineer: "There is no way this has ever worked."
Me: "Did you try it?"
CSO: "No."
CSO: tries it.
CSO: "Nevermind"
CSO: Hangs up abruptly. -
You know when you work with an incompetent team or organization? No one
knows what they are doing and there is no competent leadership to set high standards and
people are making their own bullshit up? Yeah? That's my current workplace.3 -
Rule #1 about devRant... No names. Never know when they'll sign up, see it, and make the connection. That's gonna make for some awkward elevator silence.2
-
@dfox
No Loading window on Supporters and About us pages.
Or is it a feature for impatient persons like me??2 -
"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."
-
(another) Russian roulette for devs
$jobs -l
[1]+ 642 python .....etc
$sudo kill -9 642
.... other commands here
arrow up...arrow up... (looking for jobs -l)... got it.
arrow up...
$kill -9 642
F*uck! (i remember that i have not changed the pid)
kill: no such process (luckly no damages)
anyone killed something relevant making this mistake?6 -
It's so early but i'm brimming with excitement and need to share...
I might be going NUCLEAR guys!
In the very literal sense, don't overthink it (and no i don't mean blowing stuff up, and no i don't mean boomer fiSsiOn, I mean the real stuff - fusion!)8 -
I hate having no inspiration, no good ideas and just feeling unmotivated. I have not came up with anything good in 1 year now so i just sit around rehearsing the function s i already know. If anyone has a good tip for coming up with ideas. Please let me know :)
TLDR I never get good ideas. Plz help.5 -
none, no matter how easy it is im gonna tense up and not think straight. Im against the standard interviewing process to begin with3
-
What's up with the meetings and schedules? If you involve 9 people for a 3 hour meeting, you're wasting 27 freaking hours and no it's not what standups mean. Startups! ugh2
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A: Hey yo, that function should only support up to 20 objects
B: Say no more fam
https://api.flutter.dev/flutter/...16 -
Follow up to the follow up rant: ubuntu broke.
I tried searching for my git client I had installed: not found.
: Git status
Command not found (even though I’d used it less than an hour earlier)
*restart to see if that fixes it*
My laptop: STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL TTY LOGIN SCREEN WITH NO GUI WHATSOEVER. THANK YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH.4 -
Colleague asks for help setting up deployment job. Tells me he has tried everything. Has no less than 5 typos.
-
When you mess up the repo, the bestfriend to help out is named "stash".
Personal record: 9 times stash in a row with no commits.
Comment to share your personal records...
4 -
Fuck you, Nvidia. Uhm no, this time not from Torvalds, but EVGA: they're fed up with Nvidia's antics towards their AIB partners. No 4000 series EVGA GPUs anymore.
Source: https://forums.evga.com/Official-Me...9 -
Trying to learn Angular and reactjs, reading up the tutorial or documentation...
Why the hell are there ten million more shit I need to look at first? (such as rxjs, Babel, webpack... and whatever the fuck they are)
Now am I supposed to master those ten million tools/libraries before I can proceed?
Of course there is no ten million but mentally it's no difference. I'm just fed up with this.3 -
Devrant terminal viewer is no up on github, sortof working and really broken: https://github.com/Supernerd11/...7
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Dude. Listen.
The deployment didn't go 100% well, fine. The main menu got fucked up, fine.
But no one gives a fuck when you send an 15 words long email to 6 persons just whining about the fact that no delivery go well on the first try.
Learn to shut the fuck up sometimes. -
@dfox @trogus
Why is it that after scrolling down on my profile page I can no longer properly scroll up? The view gets sort of "stuck" (sorry, no Android dev here).8 -
So worried people will fuck things up in work when I'm not there. It's causing such tiredness and such long days. 🙇I think it's caught up with with today. No holiday leave taken for 9 months and not a day off sick. 🏳1
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This moment when your internet provider kills your VDSL for four months and offers you a 5GB LTE SIM as a replacement...
Not that I burn through hundreds of gigabytes a month or so...
Gosh sometimes I hate ISPs.
Apparently we quit our contract (we didn't) but they just internally fucked up and nobody could tell us what happened. Finally after directly contacting their management we got service back...
But hey an old laptop at the open window relaying all traffic through the barely receivable WiFi of our generous neighbors at least made devRant available :'D -
Anyone have any experience with setting up firewalls? Seems like I'll have to do that at the new office, but man, I ain't got no clue.18
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Custom php api for huge known national software. No frameworks. Not following mvc structure. No decent documentation. Im the new dev and like how the fuck should i catch up before they think im not productive2
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!rant
*Coffee*
Yes / no ?
If yes, how many cups a day? What type do you fancy?
If no, any other ways you energize yourself up?
If buying from coffee shop I like to order flat whites, otherwise a lil skimmed milk and that's all.
Sorry if this has been discussed before16 -
As a moron, I write all tasks in this format even though it makes no sense to do so, so I won't have to put up with business colleagues moaning.7
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devRant suggestion: Comment Bump. Bump up the comments on a rant, the ones with most upvotes get bumped up to the top. Possible pitfalls, where comments have replies which could break the order and make no sense. I guess I just talked myself out of that one. Meh.4
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Got an exam coming up and no motivation. So tell me something that'd motivate me to study. Thank you! 🥰36
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November is coming up. That means no mental illness month. Absolutely no front end or JS shit all month. Because it is going to be officially:
"No Nutjob November"
So keep your AOK ass to yourself in November!
(AOK, if you see this, we miss you!)4 -
I have stopped Windows updates in my laptop. But no windows has to do some shit in order to maintain its reputation. Every 10 min I get this pop up.
9 -
Is it good or bad that I forgot to push an critical buggfix to production just before I went home?
Hopefully I can update from home (think one of our servers has an backup of the ssh keys)3 -
I need internet but no phone calls during night, so plane mode is not the it.
*activating the silent mode.
*wake up one hour later at the morning.
oh.. -
Yay, life's picked up, feeling better about everything.
My mate fucks up my bike beyond the point of no return, and it's my only transport for interviews.
I'm going to rip his knees apart with a knife then shoot myself4 -
Updated my react native version to 0.34
It's all fucked up. Everything is broken. No sign of recovery.
There goes another one of my unfinished personal project -
1. Reduce the number of web development technologies so that I can actually keep up.
2. Master Android development.
3. No more "Please hack a Facebook account for me". -
Managers hiring process in my mind.
Do you know how to:
Code? No
Pick up the phone? No
Repair stuff? No
Doing photocopies? No
Swipe the floor? No
You are hired!1 -
Why do people have this antipathy toward Facebook and not Tiktok? Last year, the idea of no Tiktok had people up in arms? How is Facebook definitively worse? I’m curious.15
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Just those days when there's no work and then there's a flood of work. And all high priority. Can't understand how the fuck they always end up like this.
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Join a new project & client site
Been a week and still no access, so no work
Told to read up on various subjects
Told to go back to internal office and talk with coworkers tomorrow
Get a flat tire on the way in, $200
Get it fixed
Comtinue to office
No one knows what I'm talking about
Call boss, no answer
What is my life, I just wanna to development -
Every student here has to write an essay about some kind of voluntary work he / she did while studying and how the knowledge can be used in your (future) job.
I did train and educate kids at sports. In the end I've compared those kids with a group of software developers which has to be educated, too (e.g. in their manners).2 -
Today in the office: colleague no.1 picks up the phone. We hear a doctor telling him that she does not work tommorow. I say: gynecologist? And my colleague no.2 replies instantly: A vet is more probable 😂 You know why? Cuz he is a beast!2
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Trying to port a legacy Firefox add-on I didn't write to WebExtension. Failing so amazingly...
Vague explanations, no tutorials. Mdn has a nice documentation but no tutorials. What's up with that??
Also, JavaScript. And stuff I didn't write. Just perfect. 😑😑😑2 -
*Me sees ticket thinks its easy enough if done this kind of ticket before*
Opens up repo, does all FE, starts BE, okay should be easy open up the Model for this, oh...
Theres no model..
but how was this even working before o.01 -
Stepped into a government facility and what do I hear in the background? Dial up. No wonder it's taking forever to have a single number called.2
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When I say "error in an async function" you say "no stack trace"!
"Error in an async function"!
"No stack trace"!
"No stack trace"!
"Error in an async function"!
"Unhandled promise rejection DEPRECATION WARNING Unhandled promise rejections will be shoved up your ass in node v7.coffee.9.10.666."3 -
client asks me to setup a form that emails on their site... no problem. didnt know what they actually wanted was for me to set up an email server.... im a terrible terrible sys-admin. no one should hire me for that kind of work.5
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I feel like Git could have come up with a better name than "force push".
It just doesn't seem right... If your codebase doesn't want your commitment, you really shouldn't force yourself on them. No means no god dammit!3 -
The Missing Button Paradox: The time it takes for a presenter to find a button on their screen increases based on the amount of participants who can see the button and try to help the presenter find it.
-
What are your favourite made up quotes?
"There are no wolves inside of me, I would take my time to slowly murder them." ~Liam Neeson5 -
What the fuck is up with all these vpn articles. It seems like they are everywhere. It's like get this vpn, no buy this one, wait no buy this one. Like I don't need a fucking vpn and it's not a must have.4
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Class normal people:
Def good day:
"Manager was out, had great lunch, got a. special someone's number, successfully avoided traffic, got in special someone's pants"
Def bad day:
"Stubbed toe this morning, rained all day, broke up w. special someone, sat in traffic for 2 hrs"
Class software dev:
Def good day:
"Wrote lots of working code, little to no bugs, checked in no-probs, ahead od schedule for ship, extra time for ping-pong!"
Def bad day:
"Somone fucked up the latest build, coffee machine's broken, ran out of adderall, manager on everyone's @$$ for a fix, 5 hrs later...no fix, no blames, no coffee, board meeting; fml" -
Just started week two of this internship and still no computer access... I only have 3 weeks left here so this better pick up quickly3
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A whole day yo set up an ethereum node on a raspberry pi zero... No mining. No wallet. I'm loosing it, people.
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Something that really confuses me are the people who signed up to the compsci uni course without ever trying programming before, like no way it’s a good idea to invest thousands of dollars and three years into something you have no idea if you’ll even like4
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Has ANYONE ever seen a multi-day layoff? WTF are they thinking?! Best case, no one shows up today with violent motives after getting an invite last night to get downsized.4
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The first time I tried "sudo apt install caffeine" and realized there was a repo I got excited. And then promptly disappointed that no coffee mug showed up...1
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Currently studying for a cert. All the information is through videos, which I like. However it's through flash player, so no possibility of speeding up the videos....2
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Do a simple fucking thing ... Hoo no that cross origin shit protection XD i know the utility of this protection but in dev damm just shut the fuck up and work
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I hope my boss learned his lesson: dd if=/dev/zero of=[hdd storing DB about VM cluster]
- is a very very bad idea...10 -
Kidnapping and torture are the worst crimes one can commit. If it was up to me, both would amount to life in prison without parole, no exceptions.7
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Come up with a cool idea and the concepts I want to learn by making the idea. Download IDE/editor if I don't have it. Open that bitch up. Crack a beer and my knuckles. Yep, nothing can stop me now. No distrac- damn my shoes are shiny. What was I doing again?
*as I am laying down to sleep* oh no. I forgot to code that cool thing AGAIN. -
Java module system is broken beyond repair. I don't understand how they could come up with this piece of shit ... I have no words ...3
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So anxious about my job interview with Google on the morning and that I've been up all night brushing up on my Python. And no, that's not a euphemism --but I did take some breaks };-)
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When one of you assigned group members does no work and then just doesn't even show up to the presentation, and the other does one slide of copy and pasted text.1
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woke up in a cold sweat and all i can remember from my nightmare is "there's a party in ring -2 and no one's invited"7
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When you wake up late, then have an event you're going to this evening. Means I get less than 3 hrs to code.
-
No. Still nothing about students.
https://blog.heroku.com/new-low-cos...
Show your eco plans up your ass1 -
Apparently when people with no avatars show up in notifications, devrant defaults then to a single random? Avatar. Changes though every few 30sec/refresh?
First one was rutee
13 -
Can someone explain why WordPress is bad? I mean just for setting up a Blog?
Are there any alternatives(no i dont want to code my own :D)7 -
Should I be even be testing if no one cares.
I keep asking Devs regarding the functionalities of their system for testing and then, realize it's already on Prod even before I test in beta or enable to test in beta.
Do I exist!!!
Now, for the nth time, I have started to test when things are almost there or already there in Prod.
I should keep myself in adrenaline mode always on from now on.
Need to do something worthy.
The worst way to start a new job.2 -
My boss yelled at me Monday for brining up that no one in the office is a fan of Jira.
He yelled and gave 4 rules.
1. Task Numbers
2. Multiple Project Overview
3. Integrates with Github
4. No one bitches
I spent the day uploading data from Jira into clubhouse2 -
I was watching a tutorial video about node server setup. The tutor advised to set up hot reloading using a tool called "no demon":
npm install --save-dev nodemon4 -
Id probably still end up doing maintenance on our iPad app. No mere machine could ever comprehend that codebase and its *ahem* quirks....
-
wow Xfinity just wow.... how retarded can you be... I ordered the "self install kit" which the person on the phone said included a modem, a router, and the cables to hook everything up... the package came, and it's just the cables. no modem. no router. just wow.
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How do I come up with ideas for side projects to practice new frameworks and skills I pick up?
I keep learning new languages and tools, but have no "worthy" project to show for as proof.
How do I come up with cool project ideas? Any sources? Any outright examples for cool ideas I could take inspiration from?1 -
I got the Note 7 a couple weeks ago (the reissue). Now, as you all know it's blowing up again. So, I went to return it but they said no. No? They said I can only get another Note and that will take 4 weeks. Seriously. So the options:
1. Have no phone for a month
2. Blow up
I think I'm edging towards blowing up.2 -
The feels when you waist 8 work hours trying to establish your work environment in eclipse to fix a Web site that it's used by your company. At the moment no progress on setting it up because no one has given me the libs necessary for the dependencies....
-
When you finally set up your router up high (it was on the floor) and notice no improvements whatsoever.
-
I'm thinking of picking up a 4th language, since I didn't really enjoy german (no offense).
Any japanese or chinese people in here?7 -
No matter how many times I use it, I still have to look up how printf formatting works every so often...6
-
No Problem Android Studio, just get completly fucked up. It's not like if i would need to finish this course before thursday, no i definitly have time for this shit.
1 -
I strive for "sodd" and when that doesn't work out, then I panic because NO OTHER SITE will EVER live up to stack overflow.
(until one does 🙃) -
When you spend the whole fucking day waiting for a colleague to finish something that is blocking the whole team.
He finally finishes at 5:30pm and goes to home.
I just left work at 9pm.
He's a nice guy but gosh he can be slow sometimes.5 -
When you have to wake up early to run your builds first or you can wait a day for them fixing jenkins no space left on device...2
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Currently witnessing Conway's Law in person. No shit our sprint fails when task description are just changing suggestions, designs are poor and no one questions decisions, no debate or conversations about implementations. I think it's time for me to jump ship because bringing up this concern has only brought hatred towards me from the team.
-
No difference when i go to bed, i always wake up at 8am. hey body, i need sleep, dont wake up early pleeeeeeease1
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Fucking jQuery in Polymer 0.5.
When polymer 0.5 was released, things seemed incredibly easy at first, but when you need to do some complex things, the abstraction layer provided by web components are not of much help. Babel wasn't there too, so I ended up using scope hacks to access event listeners (var self = this). Worse, I have to use jQuery because many of things are downright tedious or fucked up back then, including myself.
Now, React is here; No jQuery, no hacks, no web component polyfills, no unsolvable perf bugs, no scope hacks, no 10sec loading time, no regrets.1 -
Deleted part of my build template for no good f-ing reason while trying to back it up -_- Of all the irony
-
We had this revamp planned for this week. We were supposed to brainstorm and then come up with solutions. WFH hit it hard!! no solution coming out...
-
When a notification pops up, but
there are no new messages .. creepy
Was on GitHub as well .. weird ..2 -
colleague's constant whispering across whole office 😏 he won't shut up no matter what you say to him...
only music to the rescue here 🤘🎧1 -
So yii 3 is basically a clean up of yii 2 from all built-in extra library, and devs are free to include those with composer. No?5
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>opens up one of my four editors
>opens up with the barebones of a project
>no identifying information, just the start of a project
>file name is generic
What the hell was I even doing?!1 -
This is 20 mins on call yet no self care person has picked up. IONOS hosting service are the worst !
-
Nokia to resurrect 3110 model!! They have announced 3 other smart phones too. But no android tie up in place. It's a big gamble, fingers crossed for Nokia!
Don't disappoint us!!!2 -
Oh, hi "metaprogramming" (PHP in runtime), long time no see. Which reminds me why I ended up hating Rails & Ruby so much back then.
-
When you have to build a piece of software to fix something and you find incomplete data. When you're trying to get the complete data you find out that you once requested it but it got overwritten. So building a simple table has now changed into fixing an entire part of the app.....WHY OH WHY?!?!
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Some people were lazy so they added throws Exception to all the methods up till main. No catch clause....1
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!dev
Missed the fucking bus to work because they changed up the times here without prior notice...
So no more having the "nice" train (with comfy clean seats, wifi and airco) but the "crap" train (old dirty seats, no wifi and no airco) AND a quarter of an hour wait...
I rly need a drivers license... -
Twitter now allows to add up to 4 images and format count them in symbols count. I have no idea what to do with such a great power.
-
Walmart Retail Link has been down for five hours. No word on when it will be back up. All our work is halted until then.
-
ME: spends hours disabling pop up notifications for all apps.
THAT ONE GOOGLE SERVICES UPDATE: no you dont !!!1 -
never thought i'd live around twice to see richard nixon get humped up the butt by aliens. 'please no not that !' heh2
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No matter how many times I educate them, my colleagues still end up confused between writing conditions in join statement and in where statement.
They think they're both same :'( -
There's no way consumers like the fake typing noise when you're speaking to a robot on customer service. E.g. "Let me pull that up for you... CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK"
-
40GB with 4g on the phone
12Mbits/0.5Mbits (down/up) Adsl at home (no fiber close-by)
Please France...
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