Programming in a tree. I usually climb up here and read, but I decided to code, and I didn't drop my laptop :D

I covered the screen with my hand because my code's ugly, and I don't want anyone to see it lol.

When you are a Dev but you don't want to be single

Girl: what's your profession?
Me: I am a writer
Girl: Cool! What do you write?
Me: I write code😎

Person: I want to learn to code neural networks and cool AI stuff.

Me: Look into Python or Lua.

Person: Those are too hard, I'm going to use HTML instead.

I got out of there as fast as I could. 😅

> Comments are there only for you, please delete them before pushing your code.

I want to kill everyone who suggests that, slaughter them like animals!

Boss throwing up a huge source code that I didn't see before.

Boss: Hey, this is an app from a contractor to do XYZ.

Me: Oh, okay.. so?

Boss: You will continue the code and the maintenance now. How much time do you need to implement X feature?

Me: I need to see the code first, can't say nothing now.

Boss: ok I need estimation now.

Me: *getting nervous* I need to see the fuckening code first. if you want estimation now I would say one year..

Boss: what?

Me: what?

I find it amazing how she was able to write all that code by hand, without any tools to assist her. I don't even want to think about the enormous amount of time she spend debugging that.

Trying to teach coding to a kid:
Kid: Can you teach me XCode?
Me: No but I can teach you Swift or Objective-C
Kid: But I want to learn to code in XCode
Me: Yes you will code in XCode but I will teach you swift
Kid: My dad said that you actually know how to code but apparently not.

*On a programming support forum*

Guy: My compiler keeps throwing null pointer exception at line 128.
Me: Ok. Can you post your code real quick so I could figure out what is null at line 128?
Guy: No I'm not going to show my code to someone on the internet. What if you want to steal my code?
My mind: "Dude wtf why would I steal someone's code on a support forum?"
Me: *Use the next 15 minutes explaining that showing the code is necessary so that others can actually help him, and that no one on a support forum is going to steal his code.*
Guy: "You know what I'm more convinced that you want to copy my code. I might as well just try to fix this on my own."

What?

"Sure ill join the meeting it's not like I'm busy with the project's deadline being this Friday and all"
My notes from the meeting:

It finally happened. Upper management is demanding a historical (7+ years) of lines-of-code analysis of our entire code base. They want to justify our positions by validating that the lines-of-code has increased in accordance with the economy. I am not kidding. For every year, they expect some percent increase in our lines of code.

I made a script for this group to verify their data, but they didn't want to use it because it's "only 50 lines of code and might miss something".

A method that contains over 9000 lines of code.....
Are there really production codebases out there with stuff like that? If yes I am scared as hell because I don't want to work with that kind of code once I graduate
Tell your stories!

I want to code, but I have one problem ...

I was looking through some code I wrote 10-15 years ago. Seriously, WTF? Makes me want to invent a time machine to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

"I want to create a Linux distribution from scratch but i don't know how to code, I'll pay you $300 but i get to have the rights to it"

Dev: Why do you have an identical if statement right below this one?

Manager: Because I want the code to double check, obviously.

Dev: …

Why the hell am I 200% more productive at 2 am? Makes literally no sense. I JUST WANT TO CODE LIKE THIS IN THE MORNINGS

I want to go back to the times where "bugs" were beetles and grasshoppers, nothing related to code or computers.

Why did I sell my soul to programming???

And most importantly, why doesn't my code work???

How do I explain to my PM that I don't want to come into the office because I code better half naked surrounded by soda cans and several layers of cheeto dust

My anxiety is kicking in again.

I want to build something meaningful outside of work but my mind is blank, I have no ideas to implement, and whenever one pops up in my head, I DDG it, I find that there's someone who already built something similar and I lose all interest.
I want to code, but I'm tired of solving fictional problems.
I miss being excited to learn a new tech, since I know I would ditch it if I can't find anything to build with it.

This is causing me to lose all motivation to code and learn, I really hope this is just a phase ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡

when i write code, i want it not only to work well but also look well

Had a PM in my programming class say "I want to understand what my team is going through, so I want to learn to code and the like, really to be a jack of all trades to better myself and my team" 👏 I respect that.

When I asked my brother why he doesn't want me to teach him programming, his answer was: "Because writing code is dry and boring, like math."

Ok then.

Udemy strikes again with their amazing courses..

So many things wrong in this image that I don't even want to start..

Seriously, who teaches people to write code like that?

Me in 2018 : I'll code xLearno.com all on my own!
.
.
.
Me in 2019 : xLearno.com is a team of 5 🎉
.
.
.
Just a quick lesson that I learned in my entrepreneurship career, "You want to go fast, go alone! You want to go far, go together 😍"

You know what you sound like when you say that "I want to be a programmer but this code is offensive so remove it"? It's like saying that "I want to be a surgeon but I don't like blood, so remove the blood right now."

I personally don't really like blood a whole lot, especially when it comes out of the bodies of other people. I don't really want to become a surgeon, but let's say that I would. "Teacher, I don't like blood, I want to become a surgeon but I hate blood!!! MAKE ALL PATIENTS STOP BLEEDING NOW!!!"

To which my teacher surgeon would of course respond: "Well how about you don't become a surgeon then, because humans that are cut open do bleed, and there's nothing we can do about it."

Same thing with code. You know why code is written? To be a useful tool, for people to become more productive by running the thing (unlike the average SJW). And normal people, you know how much they care about the code? They only care for it as much as for it to be able to run properly. And the ones that do look in the source code either want to improve its functionality or check whether it's actually something decent, secure, safe to run etc etc. People don't normally look at code for the sake of getting offended by something.

But the formulation used in the code, does it even matter? Jerk, it's a term that's used in physics. Does it refer to your despised white cis males whacking off? Of course it doesn't, it's a term to describe change in acceleration. Masters and slaves in code, does it refer to slavery? Most certainly it doesn't. So why bother?

Being a sysadmin, I never write any code.
But I do want to learn that.
What is the easiest language to learn?
(I am lazy)

I want to code on top of an elephant. Don't ask why, I don't know why.

New semester, new problems....

Just started my 6th semester at uni and my teammates are already proving to be serious dumbfucks..

They want to keep all files neat and organized, sure, fine, good idea.
They want to use Dropbox to store code and our LaTeX report, no, never! Somehow managed to get them to switch to GitHub, yay!
They want to have everything in one fucking repo! Why? Oh god, why? And I can't change their mind on this!
And they still want to use Dropbox to have a backup and sync between their machines...

So during this semester, we will store our LaTeX report and the, at minimum, 3 code projects, in the same repo organized by folder!
Why not one project, one repo? Then I won't have to pull all the shit code that I don't have to work with!

Expect more rants in the coming months...

1. That my code would compile.

2. See #1.

3. See #1.

The girl I'm talking to said her brother was giving her one of those talks about how all boys are gross and want sex. I told her that the one thing I want is for my code to fucking compile

"Don't reinvent the wheel..." - I read it often, still I hate to use foreign code. It's not only that I do it for learning purposes. I just don't trust them. I want to keep the control, I want to understand my application and I want to be to blame when things fuck up.
I would probably through my laptop if my website gets hacked because of some fucking plugin or code I found somewhere on the internet.

So yes, I will invent the wheel new. At least I will spent some time to understand how this particular wheel is made, how it rolls and how I can improve it for my specific situation.

Sometimes my tires have some uncommon profile, but they fit to the stuff they are made for.

Client: So we want you to redesign the frontend for this app

Me: Ok, sounds easy enough, send me the source code and API documentation

Client: yeaaaaaah, here's the thing, we don't have the frontend source code anymore, we originally wrote it in React and then we lost the source code, we only have the bundles now

Me: ok fine, I can handle it, can I have the API doc?

Client: yeaaaaaah, here's the thing, we didn't write API docs, but we have the source code if you want

Me: fml

1. Comes up with a project idea.
2. Doesn't have enough friends who code to collaborate said idea with.

3. Abadons project.

All in that order. lol
I just want to build cool stuff. :(

I'm so weary of JS right now but every time i want to code something in another language i just think:
"Why don't i just do this in JS. Would be much easier."

Please help me.

Holy shit I never realised how frustrating it is to code for a client the way they want it... I mean I just want to go back to coding for fun

I can code better then most CS students, but if I want to go to university I have to take things like calculus... why

Manager: "<third-party vr app> isn't working. Think you could fix it by tomorrow?"

Me: "I can't fix it without the source code."

Manager: "Didn't you install it?"

Me: "I did, but I'd need <third-party>'s source code if you want me to make changes and that problem would probably take at least a day to fix."

Manager: "Can't believe you don't have the source code. Aren't you supposed to have your code available?"

(Just....)

Every time I have to deal with my boss code and lack of convention and everything that makes a clean code I just want to scream like a bitch and punch him in the face without minding breaking my own hand.

Im in an actual deadlock
I can't sleep coz I want to code
I can't code coz I want to sleep

Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...

As a developer, I want to write clean code and I want managers that understand the importance of clean code. I don’t want to work with people who force me to deploy untested code because "we need this feature working today".

Night at my girlfriend family... to celebrate both her and her sister birthday...

Offensive comments, jokes and pure irrespect about being a dev, having a beard and being quiet, from the guests.

Her actual family is really nice.

I swear... if I hear one more joke about my beard!

The only interesting person, her aunt, just left...

Back to stupid jokes and fake laughs.

I want to install a game, but I haven't enough space on my disk. Then I want to uninstall VS because I don't code in C# and VS has the most place on my disk. I clicked on uninstall and then come the VS Installer. He needs an update and I don't have enough space on my disk.

Fuck this.

I dont like it when i have to edit an old code made by a previous developer, i dont want to touch that spaghet.

I dont want to code. im fucking sleepy

Quited my job because I want to code and not project managing (instead of coding). Found a new job as front-end developer with opportunity to become a full stack dev.

Reasons 1 and 2 arent that important to me. The main reason I code is #3.

1) Brain exercise. I always feel sharp after a coding session, even if it ended in disaster.
2) Lots to do! There's never a full day in code. Make your own universe, if you so desire.
3) Pride. I have a pride problem. I never felt proud of myself no matter what I do. I graduated with a melancholy feeling, same deal when getting my license, same deal when passing a test (God, glad that's over!)... But code makes me proud. I love what I make. I want to show everyone. I want to show it to everyone before it's even finished because I just can't wait. I want everyone to use it and to love it. Because I sure do, and it's the best thing ever.

I could make a viral video, produce a triple platinum record, or build a billion dollar business and still not feel the same level of genuine satisfaction and happiness that I may get from writing good code.

It always keeps me coming back.

Just woke up and all I want to do code, but I have family over...

Does anyone else get this super lazy feeling where you want to write code but you don't wanna have to actually type it? Like I'm here in bed thinking about my projects but I don't wanna grab my laptop and get to work I just wanna think my code into existence.

Was told I need to code so it will be ie8 compatible. I guess there going to want me to get out my feather and ink and saddle up the horse to deliver info as well.

So I'm a perfectionist, especially when with code, smells, solid, design patterns, naming conventions, etc and I be have this co-worker that blackmails me every time he doesn't want to do something saying "I don't know it so my code is gonna be ugly".

Not sure how other developers handle this but I just had a break down and do not want to see another piece of code for at least a week :/

When you start inspecting code of the page you are using, and you find something like this...
Not sure if I want to make this reservation anymore...

"I understand you want to write your own code. But that's not professional. If you have reusable tested code just copy and paste it in your project"

I thought he was joking. But I am realising it's the most valuable advice in jy workplace

Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂

I don't think I'm smart, but why most of the people are so retarded??
They want to just make the code work and skip home!
Not caring about how their code effects the whole system!

Every time when I double click a .cs file and Visual Studio begins to load.... Noooo! Stop. I just want to look at the code for 5 seconds. I don‘t need VS for that! Damn!

I have code convention OCD.

My team really fucked up the code with their different indentation styles, and it really makes me want to kill them!! 😡😡😠

Boss: oh so you are working on that unrealistic 3week project ? Let me also assign you some completely unrelated office work.
Me: But I'm a programmer, researching other companies and contacting them looking for new projects is not part of my job descrip...
Boss: oh don't worry I'm sure you'll do great!
Me: that's not what I'm sayi...
Boss: ok I have to go now, have it ready by tomorrow!
Me:(crying internally)...ok.

Code is not the only thing I do. Sad but true.

Sure, sometimes I just want to scream "JUST LET ME CODE", but internal hackathons and PO 1-on-1s make me feel like there's a meaning beyond my 34 open tabs.

Me: For Christmas I want a unicorn
Santa: Be realistic
Me: Okay I want to write safe code in C
Santa: About that unicorn...

> wants to share a game for a LAN party
> doesn't want to use public trackers due to slowness
> builds own trscker instead

Man, sometimes I widh I didn't knew how to code...

Me: man, I really want to work on my project but I don't know what to do

Brain: You should document your code, it doesn't have a single fucking comment, you stupid lazy fuck

Me: oh ok, I will do that ...

do you guys code while you're sick??
I'm affected with this flu and I don't even want to open my laptop! -.-

Me: "So, this is a new way to show to your clients the daily menu using a QR Code and..."

Client: "I like it. I wanna buy it."

Me: "What?"

Client:"This QR-thing. I wanna be the only one using it"

Me:"But you can't buy the QR Code technol..."

Client:"Don't bother me. I want it. And when I want it, I get it. I can pay, you know."

Me:"Ehm......Oooook."
Me: "It's 10$ for every QR Code that we, and only we, will create! But, hey! Shhh!!"

The feeling when you just want to code code code but you have tons of other work 😥
Wish I could just program those tasks (laundry, dogwalk etc.)
Might as well build a robot, uh?!

Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.

So, kids, comment your code!

Want to bundle your files: Node.
Want to minify your scripts: Node.
Want to tree shake your code: Node.

FUUUUUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOFF I DON'T WANT NODE

I get very annoyed by sites that ask for too many privileges. If I want to comment on some post why would I give write access to all my source code repositories?

I wish I would know how.
My personal project is untouched for months.

Everytime I'm comming home from work or university I don't want to code anymore

Do you sense something weird on this dead simple code?
The teacher showed a similar code recently in my C class. It was weird to me since I know C for years. I want to know what you guys think about it.

I ONLY WANT TO WRITE MY OWN CODE

TODAY I FOUND OUT I HATE DOING PR REVIEWS AND HAVING TO GO BACK AND FORTH WITH PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT THEY DID IN THEIR CODE

I'm sure it's beneficial, but it FEELS like such a waste of time

i’m so tired of people who are developers that go to every new popular social media platform and try to teach others to code. god fucking dammit. what could possibly going through these people’s minds? do they really think people who want to learn to code think “i want to learn to code so bad. i should scroll mindlessly through instagram/tiktok until i find someone teaching how to code”?

god, if you’d ever uploaded code to tiktok or instagram to teach others to code, you’re a fucking idiot.

I felt inspired by programming when I wrote my first C code.

Up until then the machine would talk and I would listen.

Now all of a sudden I was able to tell it to do whatever I want it to do.

Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!

I see this in code:

bool status;
status = true;

It makes me want to hit things. INLINE THAT SHIT! bool status = true; It's not hard. JFC. And of course I don't have the authority to change it.

A couple of weeks ago I went to an interview where I was asked the following questions back to back: "What would you do if you were the prime minister?" && "What would you do if you were the attorney general of the United Nations".
Needless to say, I wasn't prepared for that...

Something that really bothers me about the oop idea of "oop allows better code reuse" is the fact that I have yet to encounter a situation where I need to reuse old code for a new project.

And the code I do want to reuse I've put into a library and made genetic anyway. Something which can easily be done with any language supporting generic programming, object oriented or otherwise.

Client doesn't want me to use internet, while connecting to their vpn to code. It's a security 'violation', it seems. Do they think I am Denise Richie to code without internet? And the catch is I code for OpenFlow with OpenNetworkLinux+OpenNIE. I mean, do they even understand what Open means in all these?

See code of a dyslexic intern
Neither do I want to correct him without knowing it to be respectful nor do I want to work with this code
> mfw his branch gets merged into core

I am building a platform.When we pitched our product to client, he said, that he want all our code on his own personal server. He don't know a thing about software development but want a his own server. He think we might sell his personal data to his competitor

I want to code again, but now LaTeX is my life. Close enough I hope?

Why are you expected to have people management skills as your experience grows? I don't want to deal with people, I just want to deal with my code 😢😫

I abhor timed code tests. Do you really want to test how fast I can write crappy code?

I really want to see the source code for pokemon go even though I'm 100% certain I'll be unable to understand it I just want to look at it and try to learn how it works

But I'll probably never see the source in my life :(

I really feel like coding right now, but I don't have time. Problem is: when I do have time and I have to code I probably don't want to anymore.

Basically me everytime I want to code something

I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....

Best Programmer's Breakup:
* me * used to code in Javascript and PHP
* Girl * Also a Programmer

Me: You are a semicolon to my code.
Girl: Awwwwwww.. That's so sweet.
Me: * Trying to breakup * I recently switched to Python and want to use only a single language now.

* It Works! *

P.S.: Still use all three Languages ❤

If got to do some bugfixing at work today.
Looking through code:

if (x !== undefined || x !== null){

I want the person who wrote this to wear the ugliest and scratchiest christmas sweater with "i write bad code" written on it

All I want in life is to sit at a desk, drink hot coco or energy drinks, program and slowly become insane, because my code won't work

I'm stuck on a 2+ hours call which could be replaced by an e-mail. I just want to listen to "The Weeknd" and code.

Why has programming become dependency management and third party paid libraries implementation?

I hate it.

I want to code some real hard stuff but everything is already made!

While sitting in a train (5 hours trip) I really want to code something, unfortunately I dont have my laptop with me, so i just connected with ssh from my phone to my ubuntu vps, created some project via npm and use android app to edit the code. It is not perfect but works. Someone else code like that?

I kinda hate how even if people submit good and useful code to OSS repositories, you need to act like a salesperson if you want anyone to notice/care about it

I've literally ignored. My mates twice now , all I want is to chill and code.

I think other people don't get that. Honestly Xmas is far more draining then anything

At the end of the day, I just want to fucking code. Paperwork can eat a dump truck of dicks.

Does anyone want to criticize my c# code for a quiz game I made in like 10 minutes?

I want to try something new: Code with libre office.

I want to share funny code memes with you guys but all my funny code memes come from devRant.

Having to use BlueJ makes me want to jump off a bridge. :)

Stupid fucking editor tells me I have errors in my code, even though it compiles without problems using the Java command.

that moment when you want to code but don't have anything to work on... I need more programming friends

So I don't want to code again (or do anything, at all). I think my burnout is back. Send help!

I want to have the abilities to code on a computer like an artist paints on a canvas or a writer tells a story on paper. But when I sit at my keyboard, I feel like I have writer's block and get frustrated -_-

This year I want to become a better programmer. I ordered the book clean code and want to focus on writing more and better unit tests.

If anyone has any tips on how to improve or how to get tips on your code

Arch I want to love you. But you're so freaking unstable and I just want to code in peace without you freaking out every week about config files being screwed up. Why can't we have the stability of more mainstream distros AND the Pacman package manager + AUR? Some of us have to code for a living you know.

I'm really tempted to just go back to Debian to set it and forget it. PPA's be damned.

Anyone have a go-to way of getting your motivation up? I've kind of hit a snag where I want to code but never really get down to doing it.

Haha I started to read some programming books (want to get better in pattern designs, etc) and now I am dreaming code for 3 days in a row. Maybe I shloud stop? Fml

I like to stay home and code day and night on my side projects. I don't want to go to work. I wish I had the money to fulfill my passion.

Fuck money, fuck bills

An excerpt from the encyclopedia of "Developer Confessions":
At times, when I have no clue what some code does, I comment it out to see what breaks. Sometimes I just want to see the code burn.

Taking advice from devRant and just working on some documentation for hacktoberfest. Well until I can find a project that I want to add code to

New to programming but I want to create my portfolio, any tips? Where should I host it? WordPress is good for this or better write whole code?

Yesterday you made fun of my code and told me to discard it, today you want to use it for project deployment?
N I C E
#intern_life

Why am I always tired when I want to code?? Coffee does not help anymore...

I really loving coding but i cant stand people that take coding for granted, theres no single way to code there are a lot of ways to make a single function work and you can code it in different ways, i hate it when people dont use their imagination, in coding you dictate what you want to do, thats the power of coding

Project configurations... why, for ffs, whenever i come to old project i need to deal with configurations, build systems, certificates, project settings. I want to write code not dedicate my life to Maven and making directories by hand for Android Flavors.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sometimes I want to show off some fancy code to non-programmers. Then I remember basic code would do the same.

Scala's default Seq is MUTABLE. Why the fuck do I want mutability in my functional scala code!?

Now I have to riddle my code with imports to scala.collection.immutable.Seq which looks just ugly.

Gosh dangit.

Code like this makes me shed a tear in nostalgia... also I want to murder somebody for still putting that in tutorials

Something wrong with my self. I feel sleepy whenever I want to start to code. And sometimes I question myself and hesitate about my choice.

I want to code but i'm soooooo much tired 😭
Happens all the time

So I have this Boss, he is actually good. But he micro manage everything. He writes the code that supposedly we should write. He just want us to turnover what he write. And he just want us to understand it.

So at the end of the day. We didn't learn something.

I want to quit. I don’t feel like writing code anymore. I feel burnt out. As fuck. People keep changing requirements leaving me to do the impossible. And honestly do their dirty work.

Everyday I come to work. I feel miserable. Everyday write code. Fix difficult bugs. Go home dinner sleep. Tomorrow repeat.

I am reading Jia jiang's story. Mel Robbins 5 seconds. Christ grace's lectures. Still feel miserable. What is the meaning of life? All I want is to teach people code.

Security : Each time I login, they ask me to type the email address I want my one-time-code emailed to. Really!? What security is provided by letting the user decide where to email the flippin token to?!?!

I just want to code.

Literally a fresh install of manjaro.

Well... Back to antargros!

What I want to write :
//TODO : Parallelized this sh*t ???

What I actually write :
//TODO : Parallelized this part later if possible (i.e after checking if overhead doesn't cost too much)

Sigh.. I want to add more of my personality in my code.
: /

Sometimes I look at my co-worker's code and want to vomit. My poor eyes. Also loves to tell me something should work and hasn't tested it...

First day is over on the new job. So much information about onboarding and hr, but I just want to code...

Okay, seriously, who invented merge conflicts? I want names! It's like playing Jenga with code, hoping your masterpiece doesn't topple over. I've seen more ">>>>>> HEAD" blocks than actual code lately.

Can we all agree to commit more frequently and save my sanity, please?

I'm down to write multi dimensional Git. I'm tired of losing the code that I wrote in my dream to go up in smoke every time when I woke up.
I just want to commit and push it to the dimension that I'm livin'. So that I'll have access to the code that I wrote in my dream.

I don't want to code for now. I throw in the towel.

I need to build multithreading in my brain, i want to learn at least 8 new code languages and techniques at the same time(not to mention normal languages)

Shopping with gf. This is fuckin bullshit. I want to code... FUCK THIS! DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKIN CHECK EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN ITEM'S SIZE AND PRICE RECURSIVELY? For fuck's sake, I got shit to do!

When I only want to code, but university LaTeX bullshit burns my time 😭 they dont even have clear rules.

Not to mention that their formatting rules make my work look like shit I would never read myself.

If the code is running, then it must be doing what I want. Right guys? Is it normal to be this paranoid even after lots of runs of the code without crashing?

F++ you! You never here when I need you. You force me to sleep when I want to code. You force me to code when I want beer. I hate you, time!

I want to spend about 10 minutes a day in to small code brain teasors.

I know there are apps like SoloLearn. I don't want to learn hard new concepts but rather just maintain the basic ones. I am looking for an app that gives me quizes, not just informational text

What would u recommend?

A JavaScript developer want to understand my 1000+ lines pythonic python code without any prior knowledge about python and he just want to understand it so that he can translate it into js. What should i do?

the AI says the code I'm trying to design is very complex a problem, d'awww I'm not a failure 🥺

the solution seems to unironically be to delete half of it and make it far simpler / less features lol

why can't I make my code psychic to what I want, ragh! oh well

I love sports and code. I dreamt of being able to teach my boy how to play ball but after a few years of TBall and Soccer, I accepted that he did not like sports. I didn't want to be the kind of father that forces their child to play when they don't want to so I let the dream go. Besides, he'll be a coder like his old man right? He's 10 now, so I tried to start getting him into working on some Minecraft mods. He loves Minecraft... but no interest in code. 😭

Her code is so beautiful, I want to drink her json.

So, I like refactoring old shits.
Now I want to exterminate this over thousand lines of code class. I have to be witty about it and do it within couple of PR, or they will find out I'm not doing anything productive but making their code cute again!

When your computer decides to say "Fuck you!! I don't want to compile your code!!"

Sometimes, I run tests just because I want a break from writing code. In good cases it's so that I take a moment to think about what I'm going to do next. In most cases however, I'm struggling for motivation

Okay, I want everyone to write code related to the holidays below! I look forward to seeing responses

Your code is like your face! Looking at it often it makes me laugh... But sometimes I just want to punch the shit out of it!

I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).

They would brag instead how they make another javascript ui library/plugin work(we are web developers by the way). Looks good in the front end but a mess in the backend.

I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.

I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.

I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.

Fucking Java 8 java.time package. I want to kill the damn developers of this useless piece of shit code.

Fuck you VS Code! Have to reboot my VM every four hours because that piece of shit starts glitching on the screen and freezes the entire system when I want to close it!

I have this thing where I really want to code something, but I don't know where to start. So I end up alt-tabbing through vs code, r/nosleep, facebook, and r/mechanicalkeyboards and then cursing my 'lack of time' as the reason I can not make any cool stuff.

I feel shitty cause I've never wrote near 100 lines of python code or just a large number of lines in any language. I want to write large amounts of code that will actually work.

Suggestion for a cheap, leightweight Laptop?
As I want to code outside, the screen should be bright, SD Card Slot would also be nice.
I actually wanted to buy a MacBook, but the prices are...

I want to code my side project.
Work is trivial, repetitive, irrelevant.

I wished I was rich so I could work on shit I'm actually interested worked in.

My company wants me to add semicolon in my JS code. I now have to change 191 lines. Why would you want the goddamn ;
😭

Sometime my code is so wrong that I can almost hear the mother of algorithm crying out loud.

I just want to remove that piece of code from my project....no, from my mind, my life.

How to tell to my boss that I waste more time using his code than rewriting my own? I don't want to offend him 😂

Coding is like drinking.If you code too much you get muscle pain (hangover) the next day.

I am having a muscle pain but I still want to code.

If I have to train one more person, or answer the same question for the 100 times I'm gonna loose it. I just want...need to code

I want to make a movie

Code. Where love begins at a single line of code.

I'm in highschool learning to code, but I already realize that a programmers biggest enemy is TIME! I don't have time do the projects and learn the stuff I want to fucking learn! Because of God Damm School!!

i am an unskilled pussy without strong opinions

sometimes you get conflicting feedback on code reviews from seniors

i'll do whatever you guys want (haven't encountered anything egregious enough that I do have a strong opinion on yet), but y'all may need to sort out how you want me to slice this cat

This has just happened

general channel to discuss sonos.
I have sales team less than 1m away.

this office is a fucking pub.
free beers, people telling jokes and
having non work conversations, free beer/wine.

The dream! unless you want to code.
if you want to code....ah NO WFH POLICY.

Coding in Pharo Smalltalk makes me not want to code in anything else.

If i could find a Pharo job i would be pretty stoked.

Yeah I like Smalltalk that much.

I want to code something today but don't want to get into it then have visitors show up.... Now I'm downloading Christmas music (FLAC in highest quality possible of course) and just browsing reddit.

So new job and my superior is someone that keeps on writing really bad code. Whenever I point it out to him I can tell he's annoyed. Dont want to get fired after a week of working here :(

Why does college have to have so many core classes? I'm a Computer Science major, I don't want to learn about the history of the economy or chemistry, I just want to code! About to finish my first semester of my second year and I've only taken 3 computer-related courses, and about 15 useless cores that add nothing to my education

Today I woke up 🌅 wanting to write code that is more art 🎨🖌️ than just the usual dry technical stuff...

I want to look at my commits this afternoon and feel proud about mastery and craft!

I submitted my code for review yesterday. Got a reply this morning about this particular code:
result.getString("name").
He's asking me to "create a generic method instead that will accept a key and return a value".
i want to flip my table now.

!rant

I don't want to seem like a huge noob and a douche... but I spent like 5 hours the other day working on a bash script prompting you if you want to delete each individual user on the system (keep in mind that I'm fairly new to bash) and when I got the code correct... holy shit... I felt like a fucking god.

I totally want to refactor my project's code, but I don't have any time for it and now it's a working piece of spaghetti-ish 😭

I'm just praying I'll get to do it once it's actually finished, so I don't have to work with it again in like a year and want to travel back in time and murder myself.

so because of equipment limitations I am currently being paid to be bored and watch someone else try to figure out what is wrong with their code. I literally just want to build.

I JUST WANT TO CODE BUT MY ENVIRONMENT DESTROYS ITSELF AS SOON AS I TURN AROUND AND IM LEFT READING STACKTRACES THAT TELL ME TO CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR.

WHO THE FUCK IS THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR ANYWAY?!

I just saw this:

"can someone convert a PHP code to VB code ? i want to make a small application , *.exe file which can do stuff"

When you want to code but your keyboard is broken...

... I spilled my coffee on it.

I want to introduce a pitchfork to the absolute dumbfuck who decided that MODX errors should include only the file where they were reported, which is usually engine code, thus telling me nothing about what code called the engine function incorrectly.

Do you rewrite a code from scratch? Because I want to stab someone right now.

Why does Bitdefender always have to delete my shit? I just want to compile some code!
link.exe? Defenetly malware, I should delete it for the 20th time! You want to run some unittests? No, that's malware, better block this too.

I start on paper by describing what a basic version of the code should be able to do. Then I write down some ideas of improvements to the code, more functionalities, etc. This allows me to write the basic code already thinking of what I want to add next.

Not that it matters anyway, 95% of my codes never lead to a working product 😅

I start my first "real" job on Monday. I will be one of roughly three new junior full stack developers on a team of 15 senior devs. The company has a casual dress code and they allow headphones. What should I expect? I want to grow and I don't want to be a nuisance, I also want to earn a reputation and become respected when I do have something to say.

I want to learn how to code, so I can rant about it.

When I want to travel back in time I take a look into the legacy code I've wrote more than a 10 years ago.

I fucking hate my life sometimes, I just want to code but I am dragged into too many meetings

My weekend is filled with take home code interviews, pre workout, and no social interaction. I just want to sip mint tea by the Red Sea.

I want to switch to arch and zsh, but I don't have time 😟. I don't even have time to code. Damn uni😡

Why can’t I write code that just does its job ! Why the fuck in this world I want to re write everything I wrote 🤬

Tonight begins the holiest day of the year for Jews, Yom Kippur. I'm about to embark on a 25 hour fast, no food, no water. I'll be in a prayer house for 15+ hours, literally begging God to let me live for another year.

Meanwhile, I'm set back in my classes 150+ hours of potential work time thanks to all the Jewish holidays this month. Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, and Rosh Hashanah.

Being Jewish is fun T_T

Intellisense that would fix all my typos! 😜
I want it to be that good that I can just squirt on my keyboard and it still recognizes sensible code!

I'm developing some modules for an ERP, and sometimes I want to share the code with the community, but I realise I'm working in a private company, and that makes me sad :(

path.join(parent + child);

I want to punch whoever writes this line of code unironically.

I have a 5 hour layover until my next flight and all I want to do is code to kill time... the only problem is there is no reachable power outlet..

I want to do one project in which using arduino uno and RFID reader to take attendance but for this I have to need 100 reader card which is costly. So I thought using bar code so I can print barcode on paper and no need any card. So does anyone idea where I can get bar code module for arduino uno.

Colleague says some of my code sucks, says he's gonna rewrite and improve it.

After he finish his work, I look in his new written code:
F*ckload of unused methods and classes,
some usings of deprecated API calls...

god. It's okay, if you want to help and improve code (my code wasn't the best, I admit)... but when you do, do it the fuck right.

I'm in that position during the holidays when i really just want to spend all my time coding something interesting and exciting but instead I'm stuck in this limbo of empty ideas and wasted time. I want to build my skills but i feel like i don't have anything i interesting enough to work on. How do you guys handle this? Help.

Just wanted to say how much I am enjoying learning to code.
I'm using team treehouse to learn. Android app development.
Going well so far. The instructors really explain it well.
Let me know if you guys want a referral code.

I want to start with Web development and for that I want to code a dashboard for finances with a connection to an Restful API.
I know HTML, CSS, TS and some JS. But I don't know which framework to use.

The framework should:
- have an easy way to separate HTML from JS or TS code.
- easy way to break down a single page into different html files.
- not have to use npm or Node.JS. Preffered is a CDN solution.
- HTML Templating

Maybe also tutorials on how to setup the coding enviroment.