By day, I'm a developer.

At night, I'm a father of two awesome kids and a husband to a fantastic wife.

Stop fucking asking me to work after hours! Just because you sacrifice your life to the office doesn't mean we all do.

I just saw a website that hid the login and sign up buttons while ad block was enabled. No popups or anything asking me to disable the ad block.

Well played developer, well played.

So my friend has two-step authentication for his smartphone.

Now he is not able to find his phone.

So, he tried to find his phone by logging into his google account via Android Device Manager.

Now, it is asking for the authentication pin which is in his phone.😂

He just got deadlocked.

Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary

Mobile app dev here 🙋‍♂️

Guy at work asking me why his phone feels heavier then mine (we have the same phones)

I just told him that his phone gets heavier with every apps he installs.

1 week later he meets me outside the office and tells me he deleted a lot of apps and his phone is actually lighter know.

Sometimes I just want to cry 😂😂😂

My boss just designed this and asked me to implement it, without asking for any input.

I was a UX designer at my previous job. This makes me want to cry.

Start my new job next week, and just got an email from them asking if I prefer Windows 7 or Ubuntu for my work machine!

I think I'll like it there

Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?

Manager: It should work how it worked before.

Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.

Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.

Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.

Manager: Just how it worked before!

Dev: ...

Manager: ...

Dev: fuck you

That moment when the new guy tells u "slow down, idk anything bout programming" and u were just asking him to type ifconfig to find out his ip.
Seriously?

Not my own rant, but when I see some user asking for refunds on a free app, I just gotta share it. See the developer's heart-warming response.

Humans!

The amount of sensitive, private, and secure information you can get just by asking someone for it is truly astounding.

Just had a friend send me this image asking:
"Is this a good gaming PC?"
*facepalm*

Saturday late night wisdom.

Software developers you need to work on communication skills.
Everytime LinkedIn says need a problem solver. It means a guy who can understand what non technical guy is asking for and translate that to a software or at least come up with a example of why he is wrong. Explain them. They are not dumb fellows for asking that feature. You might think the feature is stupid. Don't assume this. Sit with them. Understand thier user flow, understand the frustration your software is causing them. Then you'll see why are asking for that X feature.

Every feature request made is basically my opportunity of understanding of product. Don't wait for users to tell you requirements. Understand and suggest, implement prototypes and show them, a causal question such as "Hey would you think providing a keyboard shortcut for this submission is great?"

Understand our job is not just to write software.

Our job is to solve thier problems using software knowledge.

Don't you agree ?

Yesterday i somehow drunk-coded my entire c++ homework, it runs great and its a guaranteed A but i dont remember how does it work so if they start asking questions theyll think i just had it made by someone

Fuck me. I just posted a huge post on StackOverflow with images and huge puddles of code everywhere because I had been stuck since yesterday and five FUCKING minutes after asking, I read the code on the website (Pretending to be an outsider solving my own problem) and find the FUCKING TYPO.

Google just turned 18 years yesterday,cant believe i've been asking inappropriate questions to a minor for al those years
😆😅😂

The trend of referring to staff you just laid off as “alumni” is fucking stupid.

So is emailing and asking said recently laid off staff to join an “alumni committee” that involves, among other things: going to off sites and community events that the company will almost CERTAINLY be using for recruiting photos and “Best place to work” blog posts.

Just send me my final pay and fuck off already.

Titles in companies does not mean anything.

I just had a "Lead Software Engineer" asking me what TLS was

Coworker: "can you help me with this thing?"
Me: "sure, what have you tried so far"
Them: "nothing yet"

Hdhajsgrbeiry JUST TRY _SOMETHING_ AT LEAST BEFORE ASKING FOR HELP.

It's literally your job to solve problems, not get other people to solve them for you.

Asking for help if you don't understand something is one thing, but constantly trying to get people to show you exact examples is not doing your job.

This has been a chronic problem with one of our devs and despite advising them multiple times on it, it continues to happen.

This moment you realise your GUI fake just went to a paying customer. Boss decided it looked like it is working and ordered release without asking ...

Hey @dfox and @trogus, was wondering, are there any plans for items higher than 20K upvotes? I'm at more than 120K now and I'd like a new item and also maybe something to work towards :)

Also, I'm just asking/wondering, I know what a busy life is. This is nothing more than a question, not demanding anything! (I'm deffo not in the position to demand anything)

Thanks!

Telling a developer to just start coding (because we need shit done) is like asking the surgeon not to wash he's hands before a operation cause it would save us time.

I'm nearly done importing almost half a million records to Shopify and they just formal email asking me to stop hitting their API so hard.

well this is just ASKING for modification

***JUST BECAUSE SECURITY***

My father deleted the email with the credential for our ISP (pppoe: username and password), and I need it to connect a router.

Just called the tecnical service, after a couple of minutes they gave it to me.

They sent to me both username and password.

In clear.

Asking me where to send (which mail).

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW IS CALLED THE CREDENTIAL I NEED.

Obviously, I just had to say the accountholder of the bill.

Now I am super scared, i can virtually access any account.

Thanks to @dfox @trogus for asking users for a pittance to offset server costs rather than inundating the app with ads that make it unusable.

This has been a longtime suggestion of mine for other apps and social media sites. People will pay a premium (even if it’s only $2) for quality; just ask Apple.

Once a friend came to me asking for help building an app, I asked him what his idea was and he said, "It's an app that builds apps! Think about it, people could just tell it what kind of app they want and it could build anything for them automatically! Can you believe no one has done this?"

I hate it when stupid ideas go public and get a huge valuation. Snap at ~$24b just means more of my mother asking why I haven't made something like that yet and everyone else pitching me their dumb ideas at my birthday party.

Sure. Just unplug my ethernet cable without asking. Not like I'm trying to work or anything, right?

So when @dfox and @trogus cross 500++ on their rants, do they just take a stressball for themselves or go through the emailing procedure ?

Asking for a friend...

Most... Awkward... Video call... Ever!

Ended about 7 minutes ago. This one guy... Seriously! I mean... 🤷‍♂️ Everyone thought he's just uncomfortably open but when he finally got out of the shower he panicked, screamed like a girl, fell down and covered his camera asking: "Guys, when you were talking just now... Was there anything... Like... *Weird* on my stream?"

The worst part about being a web developer is when clients ruin a perfectly good website by asking for dumb things, even though you told them it's either:
a) near impossible
b) not useful/helpful to users
c) deprecated/no longer used code/techniques
e) will harm performance and SEO
d) just plain stupid

My neighbor brought me her smartphone because it was too slow. Not only it was an old model with low RAM, but it also wouldn't allow her to install more apps due to that shitty thing of having to install them in the phone storage.

Now you will be asking, what is abnormal about this that I'm writing it here? IT WAS FULL OF BIBLE APPS, JUST WHATSAPP, FACEBOOK AND BIBLES.

teenage me: "people asking me to help them with the printer or simple tasks are so annoying"
now: helps anyone with anything just to catch a break and get some validation

Hey junior... when I'm asking a question it's not the answer I'm looking for.... It's your thought process! Just tell me the things you will not do and we can take it from there!

Just found an admin portal online. There was a modal asking for password, but in background the portal was visible. ctrl + shift + i and then closed the modal.

Voila, the whole portal and actions are accessible. Seriously, who develops things like these?

I am pretty sure it's vulnerable to sqli and xss too.

// LEARN TO READ, FOR FUCKS SAKE

I've been working with a teacher developing a web application for some business that rents stuff.

Long story short, he's so damn incompetent! I mean, for fucks sake, he sent me this picture asking me "what to do"... dude, just fucking read, it says that the VM will capture input and to escape just press right control!!!

I can't believe this guy is a CompSci Engineer...

A client just sent me a bunch of screenshots of his old website, asking me to make a site that looks just like that. I declined.

I wonder if I'm getting tired of making websites for people. I just "fired" two longtime clients today without really caring all that much. Not for no reason. They just were asking too much for too little. And I was getting bored of them. When I think about what I want to do in my spare time, the first thing I think about is creative writing. The last thing I think about is code and website design. It didn't used to be this way.

My wife and I just put an offer on a house, 7 try and this offer was accepted. We're trying to get our financial approval together, she's a nervous wreck and keeps asking me if that's any news because I'm dealing with the bank. So I set this up.
She called me after a couple hours to tell me the dog house had called to confirm my reservation.

Just a thought...

Is it illegal to remove a geo blocker from a website by just setting the display to "none" in the dev tools?

Asking for a friend.

I just cant fucking believe this bullshit!

THE PRODUCT YOU'RE ASKING FOR NOW ITS NOT THE PRODUCT WE AGREED ON MAKING. ALL THE ADDITIONAL FUNCTIONALITY AND CHANGES YOU WANT TAKE TIME!

I can't believe how rude can people be! We were supposed to stop working in this product MONTHS ago but you keep asking for changes, for additional things and then you yell at us just because we dont have it ready for yesterday?! You got some fucking balls man just fuck off. You have to understand the development process, every change you ask for can have consecuences that make us rewrite a bunch of code and we also need to test everything again and again to make sure it works! Gimme a break!

I hardly use Windows, but had to book tickets using my friend's laptop who only had Windows.
So I switch on my mobile data, and the stupid shit just ate up all my data in updating Windows without even asking for permission 😣
Learnt my lesson

Just got a message on Facebook from a friend, asking me about getting into coding. A few seconds later, I see his status:

"Where do I download Javascript?"

I'm going to help this man.

- hold yourself accountable for your mistakes
- keep track your mistakes and learn from them
- put thought in what you do
- be organised
- become comfortable asking for and offering help
- realise that some problems have no universal solution
- don't just copy what others do, but also think for yourself
- learn to be patient

Got a payrise in my annual review without asking for it.

Wasn't even a big payrise but feels good that they thought I just deserved one without asking. 🙂

I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!

Don't you just hate those apps that think they can run on startup without asking for permissions!

What's up with employers asking to give them a pay expectation? I don't fucking know just tell me how much you are willing to pay for god sake

TL;TR

My mum just came to me asking me why the mouse is not working ...like I'm GOD of electronics :( (I'm just a simple dev) I simply though that the battery is dead because it's old. Soooooo.....
I showed her how to open it and how to change the battery. After 5 min she came back with a new battery and the same mouse asking me to fix it for her....

In my mind I literally snapped my brain was bleeding and exploding at the same time.

I just cringed a fake smile and changed the battery in front of her very slowly. I sure she won't remember how to do it next time.

At the end of the story I can't talk back or be angry to my parents I have to much respect for them. They though me everything from how to poop, speak, dress, eat and so on.

Be kind to your parents.

I just got a company called me for interview for f**king 3 hours, I wasted 3 hours of them asking me stupid questions. I show them the projects I have done, as they demand. I spent another 1.5 hours of them questioning my intelligence of whether these projects are stolen , fraud, or copied from Youtube. Just because I am a self-taught and have multiple professional certs, they believed these are mine if I have a bachelor degree or a PHD in Computer science.

Win 10 is the best, I love how it just restarts without asking, no more hassle of me having to confirm anything, or save data first. finally an OS that has the confidence to just do whatever the fuck it wants, so awesome!

I was just a junior developer, and the senior interviewer had just left for a quick break.

And, I had to interview one dude for the post of Web Designer (we were not asking for experienced devs). And, then he comes up, opens his laptop, goes to a folder and opens an html file that turns out nothing but a "Save Page as.." of one News Website. Seriously, I just said nothing, asked him a bunch of questions and off he goes. I could not stop laughing later.

My printer just emailed me asking to be switched on... :| ..... should I be worried..... skynet?

The reality of mental illness is too much for some. Do something kind and reach out to someone who is struggling but not asking for help. If everyone just reaches out to one person a massive difference can be made.

I am just thrilled about the new employees! They are so talented…

O-M-F-G!

Who hired these people!? It-is-incredible! (Actually, I know who hired them!) Just unbelievable amount of wasted time holding their hand on every step of the way. 10 years experience? I-think-not! This will not working out!

Don’t even speak understandable English. Just difficult to know what they are asking since they lack the basic principles of the english language.

Beginning of the end.

Imbeciles!

brain storming about system design on miro board

at the beginning, all devs add components they think that might be relevant for the system.

PM heavily moves everything around, deletes or changes meaning of added boxes without asking. after five minutes, he is the only one using the board, rest of the team is just watching.
PM: come on, guys. don't just sit and watch, you can also participate.

besides that, the resulting system in the end was complete garbage.

Just joined this Linux Development Team Xenta OS, it originated in my country, Im asking for a favor to check it out and seeing what needs improvements...

If you are curious and want to help out , check it out in 'xentaos.org'

I was never interested in programming. I was just good with computers and it felt really good watching other students struggling with something I'm really good at. I was unbelievably bad at everything in my life until I got introduced with computers.
.
.
.
And suddenly I became curious about everything thing related to computers, how? Why? Started asking these questions to myself and fucked my life.

!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.

Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base

New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!

No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!

Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place.

This poor fella is asking a simple question we've all asked it before.. It makes me angry to see that some beginners get discouraged thanks to the toxic community at stackoverflow, many of the idiots on stackoverflow forget that they were once beginners and didn't know a thing.. Even if the question sounds stupid for you, why can't you just help them, instead of being an ignorant smartass.. 😠

Me talking with my manager for handover before I leave. Just found out, there is an interview for my position, full stack dev.

No one bother asking me or the manager for tech interview and general manager from business interview alone by herself.

Manager: Do you code?
Poor soul: Yes, I do.
Manager: You are hired!

Shit, now I want to know what they ask to tech candidate without tech ppl.

Stop asking which Linux distro is best. Seriously there is no "best" one. Arch is best FOR ME. Debian or Fedora might be your cup of tea. But I have great news for you, they are all FREE and there is free virtualization software you can try them on. Stop asking a stupid question that only gets opinionated answers and flame wars and go try them for yourself.

Also, while I'm on the topic. Ubuntu, Ubuntu Mate, Ubuntu XFCE etc. are all the same distro, they just have a different DE (desktop environment for you noobs). It's like on Monday I wear a suit but Tuesday I wear shorts and a tee shirt, it's still me, I'm just dressed differently.

Fucking piece of shit windows 10!
Screw you to hell!
Disk usage : 100%
Memory usage: 60%
CPU usage: 2%

Sluggish as hell! And downloading updates without even asking! How fucking dare you!

Stuck with this shit just because of Photoshop and Illustrator.

Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.

How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.

Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?

Or is this just some piss take?

I was just about to post on here asking for a final round of beta testers for my web app before launch, and just before I hit “post” I thought of a massive issue.

FUCKING CUNTSTICK

Joined a game development Facebook group just for shits and giggles to see what sort of hell I can see on there...

Never have I seen so much broken English or the amount of people asking for help to build a shameless clone for Android just to get money... Really makes you think sometimes...

I'm looking at one of my coworkers trying to exit vim for around 20 minutes now. I think she's not asking for help because I already explained to her vim modes and showed her some basic stuff. Should I wait for her to give up and ask for help or just tell her now?

Everyone talks about crappy categories of user on Stackoverflow - help vampires, rep whores, etc. - but the category of "people who don't care about the stupid mind games, politics or internet points and just want to help others" is so small people apparently don't even think it can exist.

I mean sheesh, I answer on there in my free time to just lend a hand to people, usually in a couple of niche tags that have very little info elsewhere, even for beginners. Of course there's questions that are beyond salvaging and just random homework dumps, but the majority are from genuinely confused users who simply don't know the correct terms to search for.

A question is not inherently evil just because its asker has misunderstood a key concept.

I'm not even asking you to help the poor sods, I'm just asking you to allow me to help without calling me a rep whore or a moron who'd be better talking to bots on reddit 🙄

Has anyone had to hack into a server so they can set up their work,

Literally have a client asking me to do this change to their site and they are asking the dev who is controlling it but they just not letting me access ..

Long night ahead 🙄 got to add a ftp account ... All I need to do is add small lines of code for tracking, but this guy doesn't want to let me on it cause I'm slowly taking over his work... if he did his job right it's not like it would be happening anyway

Loving the absolute chaos just been caused by Meta shitting itself 😂 apart from the fact I've just had about 5 texts from family asking me to fix it 🤦

We are working from home & my manager keep asking me about progress every 10 minutes!

I have come to a the brink of mental breakdown. I have shut down my Skype and not answering calls and I have lied to the team that I am having internet problem just to get away from them.
Ever done that ?

​I'm a junior dev in a scrum team with two senior devs: one actual senior and one average dev that's just been around for a long time. At stand up meeting, that average senior lists helping me as one of his task Every Single Day. 9 out of 10 times when I ask him a question we end up asking the senior senior together.

PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE DONT JUST EMAIL/MESSAGE ME YOUR ERROR AND SAY
"FIX IT " or "WHATS WRONG"
WITH NO FURTHER CONTEXT !!!
then when you respond to me asking
"can i see the code ?" 18 HOURS LATER
AND YOU RESPOND WITH
"it's closed source"
PLEASE DONT GET SHITTY WHEN I TELL YOU TO KINDLY FUCK OFF

One manager I had kept asking for pointless redundant data being captured and added to the UI.

For example there was a date completed already.

"You need to add a check box to show that it's completed."

"Can't you just look to see if it has a completed date?"

"No, I want both."

Ended up with an app with over complicated UI and inconsistent reports.

Prick.

Just had a User asking to recover something from her Deleted Items folder which is where she puts things she wants to read later. Seriously! I thought this was a joke but people really do do this! The clue is in the name: "DELETED Items". Aargh!

Does anyone else use:

cat /path/to/file | grep "blah"

Rather than:

grep "blah" /path/to/file

...when grepping? Or is it just me? Mainly asking because in my half asleep state I just wrote `tail -f | grep "blah"` by mistake and wondered why it was taking way to long to read the file...

This user is asking Facebook to add a built-in VPN, this is really cracking me up 😂😂😂.
Some users are just confused, WTF.

I guess im a pretty soft guy, but my boss keeps asking me to be rough with our clients because they are abusing our support service(me).

Im just not that guy..

what do?

"Hi"

Yes? Stop sending Hi, Hello, in slack! FFS not even asking: how are you doing? Throw your question or whatever made you talk to me in the first place! I'm just ignoring everyone like this from now on...

One thing I will never be able to stop is asking "why" if somebody tells me "X doesn't work", even though every second asshole takes it literal and tells me "I don't know why it doesn't work", instead of just mentally giving it a second and telling "why it doesn't work" by showing a screenshot or a message, because that's more likely what I meant.

Sometimes I look at my old code and just keep asking myself...
Were I drunk when writing it .. or am I too sober too understand it...

I always emphasize for our trainees to just ask if they need help or have any questions.

But damn, some of them just keep asking about everything! It almost feels like they don’t think to themselves at all..

Just got an email from the boss asking if me and the other dev on a project have been liaising with each other before editing code because changes were being lost and over written.

Wouldn't it be great if here were some way to manage collaborations and control versions of files? *git*

The company is so reluctant to use git and do things properly.

-.-

Last job search experience?

I just had an interview today.
15 minutes in, the interviewer isn't done with the dumb questions and is consistent in using incorrect C++ terms. I was close to texting mates about this awful interview but I had camera on, so didn't. (Side rant: hate those entitled interviewing fucks who ask you to turn on your cam while never turning on theirs, and when you ask them, they'll say their connection is weak).

Twice he suggested something wrong or just bad. Corrected his wrong, but he didn't seem to be convinced. Allowed the bad.

Then he asked why am I looking for a change and his reactions to my answers made me realize he hadn't read my resume that was attached with the meeting invite. I assumed he was asking why I'm leaving my current shithole so soon but he was just generally asking why I'm looking for a change. And then he seemed not to believe me when I said I quit because of the stress. Kept asking about other offers and such.

In the end he asked if I'm cool with relocating, and I said not right now, maybe later. All in all, it's not the kind of place that's vibing with me even on short term.

So I'll be back on this week's topic next week too. Perhaps.

A friend just asked me if I can convert a pdf to an image file.
Me: yes sure (easier to do than to ask why)
Me: What format do you want it in JPG or PNG?
Friend: yes
Me: ...

Sometimes it's easier to just do it than to start asking and teaching people how to use computers...

Getting tired of my manager saying "That's too long! The people at the companies I've worked at before could do it in nearly half the time!"

Like, what's the point of asking me to quote time if you're just gonna ask me to reduce it anyway?

This is not a troll q, im gebuinely interested.

What sets spa frameworks (say react) apart from a templating engine and some dom fuckery? To me it seems they are all just syntactic sugar on top of these two very basic things (plus routing), but admittedly im not a frontend dev so im asking more experienced people here.

Found this girl who also loves coding like me..... She's very studious... Have been doing projects with her inorder to spent time with her...Like for 3 years now....

But I don't understand what our relationship status is.....I tried asking her out..she just changes the topic every fuckin time... Like she also tend to spend time with me but doing technical stuff only....

I'm totally debugger zonez

I'm installing Unity. Choosing the "sign in with Google" option, this leads to a screen asking for my Google account and password - *inside the installer*. No external browser.
What made them think it's legitimate? Why can't they just open my web browser for this? Why should I trust them with my email password?

Still can't stream videos absolutely smooth on Fedora. Tried Chromium, Firefox and every fckin' plug-in they keep asking for. Half the stuff either just keeps loading or buffering. And the moment I give up and switch to Windows, everything just works. Why are we not building better stuff on linux? *Sigh*

I think the report rant function should have a verification function. Like asking me if I'm sure I want to report this rant.
I just reported a rant I didn't mean to, because I wanted to mute notifications on it

#include<rant.h>
#define useless unnecessary

int main()
{
Fuck off Zuckerman and any dev who codes such shit for useless permissions and especially FUCK YOU CLIENT for asking your dev to ask for all useless permissions for your fucking app just because you think it's cool ;

return 0;
}

!rant

Sometimes I feel weird because the homeless people on the subway asking for money look more put together than me.

To be fair, those who aren't on the subway look very homeless.

Neither take credit cards though.

I'm just confused.

Don't you just hate when a junior has been assigned a task in the domain you have experience, and instead of asking you for context and approach, the person asks for the EXACT LINE CHANGES INCLUDING THE LINE NUMBERS TO BE MODIFIED? Might as well assign the task to me.

A client once send me an email and wrote that his internet connection is down. I replied asking him to just reboot his pc. He thanked me later on.... What can I say....

One of the higher ups just sent me a message on my private phone number after 10pm asking if we could discuss something work related. I'm a working student, leave me alone.

German friends...

Thoughts on 1&1? I have tks now, it's painful. Telekom seems shady af, but I have their mobile plan.

I have no idea how to get unbiased info here, so i'm asking people who actually use the internet to work from home and do more than just surf Facebook and cat videos

@Android Question

Does all android devs use Async Task for their Json calls or you prefer to do them on Main Thread ?

Am just asking to improve my skills and get some senior programmers opinion

I just realized one of today's emails is asking to review again that spaghetti program and this time figure out how to optimize performance because it is getting flagged for high cpu and database usage. A Niagra of If-statements and nobody-cares-for-comments-and-technical-documentation.

*bleep* *bleep* *bleep* previous programmer.

I'll deal with this torture on Monday.

Fuck Workday! Fuck any company that uses Workday! Fucking stop parsing resume if you’re bad at it! Fucking stop asking to fill the same information in the resume I just uploaded!

me to dba: do you have any recommendations of sql or query improvements? dba: no, just let us know once you're done.

after sending them explain plans, new queries and asking for reviews with no response from them, i applied the changes in dev.

after applying changes.

dba: you should involve us in any development. we need to collaborate.

me: please check your emails over the past 3 weeks.

wtactualfuck.

My director sends an email every morning asking team members to close their tasks at EOD.

Every. Fucking. Morning.

Like dude, we got it the thousand times you said earlier! Just stop doing that now!

Why is almost every Wordpress Theme company I know just a bunch of wrecked mushroom addict assholes! Please for gods sake just get your damn documentation right and stop sticking your heads into your colleagues asses when someone is asking for support.

The next time you receive 49 bucks for nothing you dipshit think of me how I stick my fist into your ass!

Fucking morons!

Three days into my job and the client is asking when we can start my project... Supposed to have two weeks training, and I don't even think that's enough to learn Hybris, so instead of being an angry rant I'm just gonna sit here and be a sad one :(

I can already feel the incoming shame. Shame. Shame...

note: it is already dec. 23 in here

testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.

wtf

Saw one of my colleague tryna sign in into Microsoft, where it was asking for 7 digit passcode but the system was sending him 6 digit passcode. LMAO. just windows things.

If i can make all buttons on the website manageble.

Haha just asking for 300 changes in a single issue. Wtf

Who here doesn't give a damn about streaming services and still torrents all their movies and TV shows?

Is it just me or do any of you people also hate asking for help with understanding other devs code?

At the same time I also hate explaining my code to other devs, like I have to justify I'm not an imbecile.

Do people really struggle with CSS?

I thought it was just design and ideas but is it actual CSS y’all struggle with?

Not judging. Just asking to be sure

Yep, I think I'm telling everyone I majored in Psychology from now on... Maybe people will stop asking me to fix EVERYTHING--not just computers, but EVERYTHING...

When you just received an email from your boss, and he magically shows up beside you asking if you have read it. :|

ok, so i remake music and make sprites sheets for smaller developers, in an attempt to make them more recognizable. the devs normally give me a place in the "special thanks" section of the credits, and then i got people spam messaging me asking me to make them a game or something, so i explain to them i dont make games, just assets. however no matter how many times i tell certain people, they still keep on asking me to make a game when all i do is remake music and do a bit of pixel art, so the conversation usually goes a bit like this -

Them: Hi! I was wondering if you could make me a game?

Me: I don't actually MAKE games, just things you can use in your game.

Them: So can you make me a game?

Me: I don't know a single bit of programming, i just like to remake stuff.

Them: YOUR A FAKER???

Me: No-

Them: YOU SAID YOU CAN MAKE ME A GAME!

Me: i never said that, and i DON'T make GAMES,
JUST ASSETS.

Them: i'm blocking you

Me: why tho

Them: blocked :)

Me: [content hidden]

___________________________________________________
so yeah. this is why i stopped making assets for games and just remixed tunes for personal use.

I feel like there should be "dev recruiter" position that people with developer skills could fill. Every time I go to an interview, I just know the person asking me dev related stuff has no fucking clue about anything I'm saying, it's printed all over their faces.

A good developer almost instantly knows if you know your craft or not.

Let's not keep wasting everyone's time

I have a Yahoo app on my phone for some legacy purposes. I just allowed the storage access permissions when it was asking for it during the installation or something, cause like, who doesn't? I checked my Yahoo Mail on the browser tonight and saw copies of my mobile photos in it! It's through the Attach Icon > Insert animated GIF. WTF? So that's how you can easily get hacked from apps?

Someone posted this to our shared channel. I'm so tired of people thinking that developers "just need to push a few buttons".

Am I crazy for believing that all I can accomplish in 4 hours is read their documentation (or there lack of), and maybe write few tests for the slew of things they'll be asking for??? And maybe, just maybe, get my local environment running.

Why does everyone think that developers know the location of the "magic button"???

Just saw a post on SO where the guy was asking a question about ES8, ES9 and ES10. These don't exist yet.

He even had code examples and was adamant that he was right.

My family “supported” me going in the field of technology but associated it with IT as most families do, so any attempt to show them stuff I’m messing with ended with them not being impressed or excited just the vacant “oh that’s cool” never asking me about it or anything like that.

They just saw I was happy and were supportive in that way which I suppose I can appreciate.

You shitty brat, if my HR staff didn't call you, they didn't call you. Still don't understand? Ok, simpler explanation. Because THEY DO NOT WANT YOU.

Just because we know each other doesn't mean you will get hired at my work. And you are not even a developer, you are a freaking sales man. Why the heck do you keep asking me about it?

i hate windows errors so much
there's no information whatsoever, its just "error code 0x696969 lmao something wrong try again later"

what i hate even more is asking microsoft forums what the error code means and being asked if ive tried turning it off and on again

Just got an email from a client asking if it was possible to block Pokemon GO on their premises.

Now, I know the answer to this. But just in case... would that even be possible?

colleague asking for your attention (even when you have headphones on your ears) just to tell you some toxic joke or show you some toxic post on instagram then expect you to laugh! (especially when he is one of the company's shareholders) 😫

I get questions a lot online on how to do something with programming. (at least it's not someone asking me to help with their printer). I have no clue why they keep asking me though, I don't know how to do shit. I just google and press buttons until it does something somewhat cool.

"Hey I have problems - can you help me?"

"Hi. What are they?"

"God! Geez... I was just asking for help. No one ever helps me never mind."

Asking you to find the bug. You find it and the solution for it. You tell them your solution and tell what you found. AND THEY JUST WON'T BELIEVE YOU. Just find the friggin' bug yourselves faggots.

So.. name one fucken case where your database is not a computer backed thing.

Just asking because.. why the fuck? I don't think your database server supports input of fucking math symbols? JUST USE HUMAN LANGUAGE, AS YOU HAVE TO DO ANYWAY!

It's stupid how everything needs to be expressed mathematically ffs. Not that it's hard to understand - it's just more complex than of a very simple wording.

Don't you just love it when you get a project with no requirements doc, so you make your own spec and requirements, start to architect and develop the project correct way, the 2 weeks later your manager comes to you asking why wasn't features XYZ not included and how you should add functionalities for A B and C...

Should devRant app be open source? Just asking for opinions.

What would be the better approach for loading very big in size or in quantity files in java?
1) Loading data parallel through multiple threads
2) Loading data in series in a single thread
3) any other methodology?

Just asking because loading time is varying both cases.

Learning to program is just learning what the real questions you should be asking is.

Some people just don't get it. When you meet friends who are either non technical or very new to programming, all they ask you is what language do you use.

The language is important but not everything. It's what you do with it that matters. Just because you know python, doesn't mean that you can do machine learning. Even simply asking what do I do is better than that!

The language is just a tool! Learn to be language agnostic please. Be a programmer, not a code monkey

The last communication we had was me asking you if you would like a service for that, with no response? And now, ten days later, you’d like an update on when it will be available?

Well I raised a pull request on your side a week ago, your developers have just been ignoring it.

What? No, I don’t know when it will be merged and ready.

Fuck you for asking for my advice and then just disregarding it because it doesn't dovetail with what you were hoping for. You continue to justify your shit code design as "the way it has to be". Bullshit, I just told you other ways to do it. You didn't want to hear it. Open your mind. Learn something new. Be a professional. Your code is ass and you should feel like an ass. Don't ask for my help anymore. Prick.

I just saw a woman downloading a program only to refuse the terms and conditions given then she's asking for help😕

Just got this popup again, and it always comes right in the middle of me doing something. And of course there's no "remind me in an hour" - if you select "Try in an hour" it usually just automatically installs and restarts your computer in an hour, instead of asking you again.

Man, some days, these fucking managers just make me want to get fucking drunk...

clueless questions, annoying fucking fake priority shit immediately asking for this and that with absolutely no planning or thinking ahead

its really like guiding kids through kindergarten some days

i want to bring some seriousness and structure to this company but some days.... man, i just am done with it

My senior colleague recently said "Don't go around asking for best practices, it's a waste of time! Just try stuff until it works and commit it".

We were talking about writing code in a new language.

My parents love the fact that I code and study computer science! They've always been super supportive of what I do. I just can't wait until they stop asking me to put on netflix whenever they want to watch a movie 😭

Working from home is a cool experience for me, but video meetings are a hassle. Not because of the nature of the meeting, but because I need to be sure that certain giant pillow is not visible for the webcam.

Also, for some reason I'm the only one with a stable connection, so there's a large overhead of asking and nobody talking, because we don't know what just happened

Hey DevRant, I'd like you to meet "Marketing Brandon", his favorite daily activities include:

- asking me when that landing page is going to be ready

- asking how to support a customer on live chat even though he chose to assign the ticket to himself in the first place

- explaining how important social media is

- telling me he's working as fast as he can on some website copy I need and then sitting and composing tweets for 40 minutes

- asking if I can "just real quickly when I get the chance" implement a huge new feature for our users

- announcing to the entire office that he "has to leave early today" because the pet store closes at 5 and his ferret ran out of food yesterday

-.-

Does your office have a Marketing Brandon or similar?

In the last module of my bootcamp(make all the jokes you want about bootcamp I have thick skin and a degree 😬) and just started applying for jobs. First job I applied for was a big company asking for 5+ years experience.

Might as well get used to rejection early 😂

Windows .... You are amazing ... Managing to change my BitLocker Key without telling me, crashed you Update as always and asking for the new key you did not told anybody about to recover yourself ... Great ... Just great....

Seriously thinking about to switch back to Linux like it was before and hiding these crap in VM ...

Joined the dark side.
Used to think (),{},[] meant the same. Just a type of brackets they said
Started counting at 0
Designer/Developer perspective to every website/app I visit
Rubber ducks were children bath toys
And for the love of LINUS! Stop asking me to hack your bf/gf 's social media accounts.

Q: Your biggest dev career dream?

A: To finish my thesis, get a job, where I can peacefully code. And to earn enough money (does not mean rich) to just live a comfortable live without worrying about money too much.

Am I asking for too much?
Whats with you? What is your biggest career dream?

Okay. So I'm in class right now. And we'll do a rather big IT project (in groups of 2) later this year. And one of my classmates (I hate him AF but he doesn't know because he doesn't get shit) just asked me if I can make him a social media platform. HOLY FUCKING MOTHER SHITTING FUCK. CAN YOU PLEASR JUST STOP TALKING TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU DONT DESERVE TO LIVE. GO FUCK A TABLE!! IM NOT GOING TO CREATE ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY. AND YOOOUUU LITTLE FUCKER ARE ASKING ME TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU?? EVERYONE FROM MY CLASS IS AT LEAST SOME KIND OF NICE BUT YOU PIECE OF CUNTSHIT NEVER EVEN DID A SINGLE THING FOR ANYONE. AND YOU ARE ASKING ME TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME. LIKE WHAT HODDAMN HOPE DO YOU COME FROM. COULD YOU PLEASE JUST GO BACK INTO THAT HOLE??!!!

Do you guys also feel annoyed when someone calls you during work hours out of the blue before asking if you're available? I just lose all my concentration

I have a rule of thumb that I always ask if the other person is available before I call, but this doesn't seem to be very common amongst the higher ups...

So my co-founder, tried to outdo my equity in the company, by asking me to give up percentage of our equity for his father, so that he could have the leverage.

He is not talking to me since then,
When I said politely to piss off.

Just because you are a techie people try to abuse you

Any advice ?

What's with Angular? Why are there so many Job Openings for Angular in India? It's like every recruiter is asking Angular. And the pay is much more than the backend Dev positions. Just because its frontend. I feel voilated for being a backend dev.

Just saw this question on quora asking if saying ess-kew-ell is an indication that someone doesn't know SQL. I say SQL because there's no goddamn ee or kwell in there YOU'RE ADDING LETTERS THAT AREN'T THERE BUT SOMEHOW I'M THE MORON?!?!?!

Just saw a job ad asking 8+ years of Swift experience.

Swift is a language that appeared 4 years ago >:-(

!rant
Which one do you prefer?
Work from home or office?

My bank created a "new and improved" banking app asking me to take a selfie after first sending them a picture of my id.
I am already a customer of the bank, they have a copy of my id, why do they also want a selfie?
Also with the old banking app I could just call them from my phone number (which they also have) and they confirmed it was me over the phone by asking 2 questions and then provided me with a code to just enable the app on my personal phone.

Curious what you guys think about the creator of Node.js saying that he does not think Node is the best tool for servers and that Go is a much better option.

For me at least, I think it is great that people like him become aware of the shortcommings of the technology they devised, but wonder if it is such a good move to say such things (even tho apparently he is not the head of the Node.js project anymore)

I have always been fascinated by Node and the whole JS ecosystem. I think it did wonders for JS developers and it pushed the whole JS experience to a whole new level, but I am also aware of the shortcommings of it just as I am of the other environments that I use.

So, what do you guys think about his statements? Would you consider investing time in Go as a Node developer? Do you think that it will be possible to do a switch or would you rather stay in and advance the state ot Node development?

Might start asking monthly or weekly questions just for the hell of it so heres number 1...

If you have a prototyping/code naming convention, what is it and why?

just posted my first question on StackOverflow as a lurker, hopefully i don’t get murdered for asking a probably very simple react native question....

What's the point of opening a PR if you're just going to immediately merge it without even asking anyone to look at it? Just so you can say "Oh look I'm following process"? Well, you're not..

I'm just wondering how many developers is tire of people asking them to build a complete custom site in WordPress. And when you tell them "hey Fucker it would be faster and work better if we just build this cms from scratch" but the client won't budge they want fucking WordPress no matter what...

My boss (who's in a different country) just joined our internal Skype group where most of our daily information is spread. She honestly thinks we work faster when she's asking questions about progression on stories via Skype.

Why doesn't some managers trust developers? >.<

I'll be asking the HR of my next company to include a "fuck off" clause in the contract if they want to hire me.

Under that clause, I would have the right to tell anyone, and everyone, to fuck off. It includes all 24 hours of the day, not just the working hours.

It is so funny how this PM got dizzy when I started detailing all the possibilities of her generic requirements and asking for clarification and we started drawing how the fuck she wants in to be.

But "just put all data on the report" should be simple, right?

Not a 2 hours discussion on one topic out of 10, right?

Not.

After seeing all these photos of people in stores full of rubber ducks, I just want to start a rubber duck store for the sole purpose of meeting devs by asking anyone who takes a picture if they are a dev.

Maybe this will be how they hire devs in 20 years...

Spent months building a full regression testing framework app at the request of my boss...

Now he just says need a simple app to test a few static URLs...

I could've written that in 1 day... FML...

And now I've been pulled away from the main thing he wanted me to work on...

and keeps asking if it's done yet...

!rant, just asking the wise devRant community for advice:
What is a good laptop that works well with linux? Thanks in advance :)

Hey guys ! I'm currently working on a project to implement a simplest version of TinyDB on Z1 motes 😀

And you, what project are you currently working on ? 🤓

my father-in-law is asking same question from last 4 years... what do you do exactly?
my friend is expecting me to hack his GF's Gmail id from last 8 years..
And i couldn't explain to my any relative in last 16 years that software engineer don't just assemble PC.

What’s your opinions on AWS, Azure, and whatever googles version is called. I’m curious and I’m asking because I don’t really know a lot of details. I just know they host stuff and make some stuff easier.

Some people are good at troubleshooting, some people are just good in asking other people to troubleshoot it for them. Which one would you rather be?

What is it with people asking if learning X is good for development of Y? Did your common sense module not fucking load?

Learning a new thing isn't gonna SegFault your brain. If you have the luxury of asking If, just fucking do it, you lazy wobble tit!

Just stumbled upon this
It ain't even clickbait
Regulations might be good, until power hungry gov start asking more and more

Why do people <blank>?

This came from asking the question of "Why do people drive crazy?" The person I was talking to said you could just ask "Why do people do anything?" and the answer would be the same.

Anyone here who ever applied for a software engineer post at Google?

don't you just love job adverts asking for skills in XHTML

On monday my boss asked me if our client's website will be ready to launch on June.

We'd supposed to start the development last monday, but the client keeps asking for huge changes on the design, and the dedline continues the same.

Even worst:
The person asking for changes have no power for decisions, so very often our designers have to undo their work and turn back to a previous version just because that person forgot to ask their superior if he wants that change.

I honestly hate dealing with promises in JavaScript. Asking permissions just to autoplay a video just like the client requested.

Websites who offer drag and drop are just so frustrating! People asking why do we pay you to develop it as rather they can just drag and drop and upload! Someone make these whole lot understand that yes it's different, you don't get a design copyright there, then you don't get it full customizable, no additions, it's just replacement! Also, the performance part is sometimes deducted there!

!dev !rant

Having a relationship with co-worker is good or not?
Just asking for a friend

Why the fuck does windows use 100MB for the efi partition? Like oh hey I will exactly allocate enough space for me. Oh you want ArchLinux and NixOs too? Well fuck you have fun dangouresly moving around partition just to increase the fucking size of the efi partition I just allocated at install-time without ever asking you about it.

I just noticed that whenever I get a captcha to prove I'm human, it's always images from the street.. cars, crosswalks, traffic lights, trucks, bikes, tractors etc etc...
I just want to know... Who's ML model I've been helping to train for the last i don't know how many years?!? 😤

I should've realized something smelled funny the moment i understood that a bot is asking me to prove my humanity to it, by doing something that a bot should be able to do by now.

supposing the complex plane were projected onto the surface of a sphere? besides measuring angles between points, would there be any utility in measuring the length of a curve between two points?

is this just the same as operating on complex numbers in polar coordinates?

I don't know enough to know what I don't know, thats why im asking.

The other day the "big boss" came to us asking for a feature.
During he speaking to a colleague I saw this guy whitening in the face.
So after some time I asked him what happens..
"He just told me to deallocate some memory (to achieve this, and do that..)"

...

We are writing in Python.

Do you ever just have a hundred different people asking you a hundred different questions about a hundred different things at a hundred different times of the day?

Fuck man I can't get ANYTHING done, and all my answers to people feel inadequate (quantity over quality). Maybe I shouldn't have decided to help work on so many different codebases.

I did an coding assignment for a new job... Now they are asking for more code to judge.

Cmon, just change your coding assignment to be enough to judge it...

Client from hell (if you've read my past rants) came back asking for information that he had provided me months ago.

I'm not your Google Mr client from hell, search it up yourself.

That's what I said, only in my mind though.

Unfortunately, I went to be his Google. Am I too kind? Should I just reply with a nicely worded "I don't know".

Dear other coders.. i press my enter key quite frequently. You do so, too.

Please don't make windows that jump into focus out of nowhere, asking me something important. I won't be able to read it and I'll just accept the default action, because I'll coincidentally press enter when your dialog spawns 100% of the time.

Thanks,
Someone like you.

Hey so this just came up and i have no idea how could i ddg this so ill just ask here.

I know you can use namespace{} in typescript but is there something similar in js (es6)? We are making a game and the variable names are getting scarce so it would be nice if we could like menu.offset or something. I know static variables in classes are a thing but im asking about namespace-y stuff here.

If I ever got a job and they mainly make me use Excel for whatever reason I’m just writing a python script to do whatever they’re asking me to do then just do whatever the rest of the day.

The other week a Comcast tech was out to install some new equipment. He was unsure whether an antenna could be placed outdoors, so he asked on a Comcast tech group chat. Within seconds he received a response from another tech: "Google it". It just amused me slightly that it's not just developers who get this response, and also made me a little bit mad because I know the frustration of being told to Google something even when I am asking in the right place.

I just want to combine python3 pygame with asyncio without asking Shiva for a dance.

I just got a ticket asking me to pull a 'smart' report for a customer 🤦‍♂️

it scares me someone thinks this is an actual thing...

Product presentation for a new module in our software suit in 5 hours.
And just now I got an email from my boss, asking if I could add the gui revamp we were planning for next version today...for the presentation...it's just a UI after all.

But yes of course, obviously I do magic and can design, implement and test a new UI from the ground...in less than 3 hours. Because we have to leave early.

Sometimes...