Another attempt at trying to get support for weakening encryption recently.

An FBI spokesperson said something like 'we can put people on the moon, why can't we just create law enforcement-accessible encryption? i just don't buy it."

Fuck off and die.

Alone at home ✔️
Night time ✔️
Battery about to die ✔️
No electricity ✔️
Painfully hot weather ✔️

If I die here tonight, please commit and push my code..
Thanks

Honestly if the StackOverflow community was set on fire and I had a huge tank of water

People in Africa wouldn't die from thrist anymore.

My phone: battery low
Me: ...
Phone: battery low!
Me: ...
Phone: battery low!!
Me: ..
Phone: battery low!!!
Me: well, if you stop whining about it every minute you'll save your energy and won't die!

People who use drag and drop website builders and call themselves front end developers should just die!

So, Facebook is acquiring Giphy. The amount of metadata they're about to get is fucking insane.

And since I refuse to personally use anything Facebook related... I won't be able to use the GIF integration of any messenger and many more products/services anymore, I guess...

Just fucking great. Fucking die, Facebook.

It is 2:15am and I am alone in the office. I seriously hear a mechanical keyboard, but nobody else is here. I guess I die tonight.

My lead keeps pushing commits to master. His commit messages vary from: no message, yeah, and yup.
and yea, some of the build break master.
Makes me just wanna die sometimes when digging through our commit history to figure out when a bug was introduced.

Not using git/GitHub and versioning my projects manually.

Yeah, I deserve to die.

Drinking game: Take a shot whenever you’re staring at work and don’t feel like working.

Bonus game: try not to die or get fired.

Valentines day, other people buy flowers. I buy bread instead.

I've been buying a giant loaf of sour dough bread for years and my wife is just as happy.

Why buy flowers and see it die when you can eat bread. It's just makes more sense logically.

parents every day: "how can you drink that much coffee and not die??"

Recruiter called me again after months because he had an interesting position for me.

Something with 'it consulting' since I was 'into it' 'according to my linkedin'.

Fuck of and die.

1.) Please make WordPress die();

2.) Please prevent recruiters from getting my contact info.

3.) Please ban all "coder meme/joke" sites from instagram. They repost long dead jokes and the jokes don't even make sense if you know how to code.

A late rise up *check*
A good cup of tea *check*
A nice breakfast *check*
A rainy day today *check*
A bunch of time for reading
a book and playing with
python and elixir *check
Nobody seeks me for
tech support *check*

Did I die and go to heaven?

Finally time to download the new Visual Studio 2017, click download, file size 1MB!😐 Fuck you all web installers! Eat shit and DIE!

Forum admins who require login to see attachments should all die and burn in hell

ok, companies that use a robotic automated attendant on on they main phone where you are supposed to describe vocally your problem can actually fuck off and die.

I hate you so much.

If I'm lucky this time and my phone gets repaired correctly, I'll finally have a googleless android phone again in a little.

Google may die in a fucking corner all alone, the sooner the better.

I saw this the other day:

if x % 3 == 0:
print("Number is divisible by 6")

I wanted to, and want to, die.

Microsoft Internet Explorer is my least favorite enterprise software. We are forced to use it. I hate being forced. This is like being asked to climb a mountain with a broken leg...not fun, painful, hopeless, threatening, discouraging, slow, and ugly, and infected...it is downright evil corporate bullshit.

<!--[if IE]>
<link rel="styleshit" type=trash/css" href="die-die-die-you-evil-bastard.css"/>
<![endif]-->

Just push it over the edge with a chrome sword stuck in its back. I will just sit here by the fire with my pet fox and watch the opera as I listen to vivaldi.

Welcome to Corporate Prison where all hopes and dreams gonna die 😢

Rovio, the company behind Angry Birds, are scumbags.

When you progress to a certain level, they offer you a cool new thing — to hatch an egg. You click “hatch”, and then you have to wait 24 hours. This builds excitement — after all, it looks like an amazing new mode, and you can't wait to see what it is.

The reality is, you hatch this beautiful little creature. From here on, you have to FEED it regularly, or it will die. They drew it the cutest way possible. How should a child resist feeding this cutie? When I hatched it, I didn't know what this new mechanic was, and I assume new players don't know either.

You feed it apples. You can find apples on certain levels, but they are scarce. The further you go, the more apples are required to keep him alive. Play the game actively to keep up with it and get apples! Or, you could just… I don't know… BUY them.

“Mom, I need $11.99 to feed Fluffy, otherwise it will die!”

A straight-up scumbag fucking mechanic in a game targeted to impressionable children that will have a hard time seeing this tiny beautiful creature die of starvation. Let's guilt-trip kids into asking money from their parents!

saying git is shit (cite at the end) and nobody professional uses it.
cite:
"GIT ist scheisse, es ist schwer zu installieren und man muss die Kommandozeile benutzen. Das benutzt doch niemand."

The learning curve for programming is more like steps than a curve.

Really tall steps.

And they go on forever.

Eventually you die. Leaving your body as a landmark for those who come after you. Unless you're completely useless. Then your body just ends up at the bottom of a gully.

The point is don't give up. Don't die in a gully. Each dead end is a wall to clime. Every plateau is just the path to the next step.

I'm losing my fucking mind right fucking here.

Setting an anti-csrf token in the index.php file ONCE. Yes, I triple trillion checked, only fucking once.

Print it to the page as test, fair enough, looks good.

Send an ajax request to the server:
AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TOKEN 😡

Fucking hell.

If you name your UI controls like TextBox1.... TextBox24.... Then GO AND FUCKING DIE

Customer: «We want all the users belonging to this organization share the same username and password»
[Editor's note: we are talking about 500 users, more or less half of the total in the system]
Customer, after some minutes: «It's very important for us having the web interface using HTTPS, because we care security a lot».
So, please, go fuck yourself. And die.

I got some stickers from the German party 'Die Piraten'. They support data privacy and focus on Internet related things.

The stickers are just awesome.

Me: Baby, I can't do what you want me to because I need to learn how to use Github and it is taking longer than it should.

Girlfriend: Don't feel bad, maybe you're just not ready to commit yet.

Me: Laugh and die a little inside because I understand the pun but not the program.

Teacher: From today on, we will start working with ms access 😊.
Me: Please die and let my life in peace ☹️ and learn with something useful (MySQL) instead.

Working with SSD is like working with an old man. It knows a lot, and tell you things right off the shelve, but it can die at any time.

- Hey, have you heard of devRant?
- Look I have been a developer for more than 20 years; new IDEs, editors, languages or whatever that is, appear every week and they all just die. I'm sticking to my guns and nothing you can say can convince me to even look at this devCrap or whatever it is.
- Oooooookay...
#devCrap

Was trying to fix my old MacBook Pro (From about 2011, it's served me well, and I ain't letting it die!)

Tried to do an internet recovery, and learned that Mac's do indeed have a BSOD... this is going to be fun to fix.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A MATHS PART OF MY RENDERER WORKING FOR TWO DAYS NOW AND IT HAS BEEN WORKING THE WHOLE TIME BUT I WAS USING THE WRONG VALUES TO TEST IT THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME I WANT TO DIE

Grumpy cat was in a lot of our internal products, on loading screens and what not, because why not? PM got pissed and said if he sees that fucking cat again blah blah blah. Grumpy cat is now summoned with a Konami code. Grumpy cat will never die.

It has officially been piss on my chips day.
1 bus pass refused to work today.
2 my pixel decided it would die. Will not boot or charge.
3 go on lunch and get battered by hailstone.
4 work pc decided it wants to blue screen whilst updating.

Facebook from another perspective. Apparently hundreds of 15TB nodes die there every friggin day, and yet no single post is erased 🤔

JUST GO DIE ECLIPSE YOU FUCKING ABOMINATION I HATE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR COW AND YOUR VAGUELY RELATED UNCLE WHO LIVES IN SIBERIA

!dev

So the ceiling in our (upstairs) laundry room started leaking. After some troubleshooting, we determined it was the A/C, and not the water pipes. (The house is cheap as hell and fucking stupid.) We did some troubleshooting and research, and tried fixing it ourselves; no luck. Cleaning the pipes from outside: no joy. Cleaning the pipes from inside: no access. The attic is ... small. Maybe half a small closet? and doesn’t give access to fucking anything. The builders must have installed everything before putting up the walls and ceilings, sealing everything off, because there is no access. It’s fucking stupid. Also, the usual maintenance openings aren’t even there either because why the fuck would they be?

But fucking whatever.

We called an a/c repair guy, who never showed. We assumed he was busy (it’s fucking hot), so we called him again the next day; two days later he showed.

Busy. Whatever.

Guy didn’t bring a ladder. Whatever, we have one right there in the hallway because we’ve been trying in vain to fix it.

Guy didn’t bring a wrench of any kind. Guy didn’t bring a screwdriver. Guy didn’t bring a bucket. Guy didn’t bring any pipe. Or any pipe sealant. Or fucking anything but his sagging fucking pants, fat belly, and fat stench. We had to supply everything, which fortunately we had on hand as we were already trying to fix it. Hoorah for being proactive.

Guy said he drained both primary and secondary pans. Somehow. Without access. I’m not even convinced it HAS a secondary pan. Guy said he cleaned out the pipes, too. From inside the house. Without access. Somehow. Maybe he did that from outside, without tools, while I was chasing the brats and someone else was watching the fat bastard. Who knows; I wasn’t with him most of the time.

When he was done, the guy said “pay whatever you think it’s worth” (or whatever). Fine, if he actually cleaned the pipes out and it isn’t leaking anymore, that’s great.

Guy leaves.

We go up to check. AND THE FUCKING A/C IS STILL LEAKING. BUT NOW IT’S FROM BEFORE THE PIPES, TOO. AND HALF AN HOUR LATER, THE LAUDRY ROOM CEILING IS ALSO LEAKING, WHICH MEANS THE PIPES ARE STILL LEAKING.

It turns out the asshole broke the pan.

We call him back, he goes blah blah blah, we send him a video. Drip, drip, drip.

His response?
“The pan must be rusted.” IT’S FUCKING PLASTIC.

“Oh, in that case, it’s probably a rusted coil that’s leaking.”

a) HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW IT WAS FUCKING PLASTIC IF YOU DRAINED IT?

b) THE COILS CARRY FREON, NOT WATER, AND THE A/C IS STILL WORKING. IF THERE WAS A LEAK, SHIT WOULD BE HOT. AND RANK. FREON SMELLS NASTY AND DOESN’T CAUSE IT TO RAIN IN THE FUCKING HOUSE.

REPLACING A COIL IS ALSO A $2000 FUCKING REPAIR.

THE FAT BASTARD PROBABLY BROKE THE PAN INTENTIONALLY JUST TO UPSELL. I WANT TO FUCKING MURDER HIS LYING FUCKING FACE OFF.

It’s possible he didn’t break the pan intentionally, so I’ll tentatively remove that from his charges. BUT TO FUCKING LIE?

LIE AND DIE, FUCKER.

Fucking idiots. How fucking stupid are you? We're in 2016 now, where basically `.motherfuckerslutshitasscunt` has the potential to become a TLD. And you still can't validate a motherfucking *.online email? FUCK YOU. I will NOT be using your SHIT MOTHERFUCKING RECRUITMENT SERVICES. DIE.

Started with PHP about one month ago, and one of the first facts I noticed is that this language it's fucking violent!
die, explode

are you Windows Update? because you can literally fuck right off and die.

When the last battery of one of your phones die. And you don't want waste more money with a new one.
But you need to perform a backup.

apple sucks
iOS sucks
Xcode sucks
Cocoapods suck
iphones suck

can this company and OS please please die already

So... We have a "network admin" who manages our network and the servers (windows) and I manage the Linux servers... He is having a real hard time to understand that the servers have no password but use ssh-keys to login and keep asking me for the credential to have them somewhere in case "something happens" like I quit or die...

When I die, I want the R.I.P on my tombstone mean something different
Recursion Investigator Program

On my computer, there will be a file with that name
and when you decompile it to assembly
it will tell my life story in assembly

this will be a death propper for an assembly programmer

If you're a manager that cuts on hardware quality — listen.

When you die, I will contain your soul into the closed cube made of cheap whining SMD coils. You'll be there forever unable to end your suffering and will forever hear that coil whine until the end of time.

Walking down the street today eating this amazing croissant and sipping iced coffee when I run into this old lady and she was like “hey how are you?” And I was like “good thanks want some of this croissant it’s absolutely delicious” and she was like “No thanks, I want to tell you that those who eat alone, die alone”…

Like wow the audacity of this bitch. Get your old wrinkly latex skin with blotches lookin ass outta my face before you die alone today hoe.

Don’t take no shit from nobody - treat yourself like you the shit.

WanBLowS: We're adding some extra features!!!
Me: Oh great! Can't wait for it!
*gets up from bed to mash that power button*
Me: DIE MOTHERFUCKER, AND FUCK THAT SHITTY FEATURE!!!

I just explained to my dad, who doesn't know a lot about tech, what net neutrality is and about today's vote of the FCC.

His response (I don't know how to properly translate it to English so I will have to wait for AlexDeLarge): 'was sind das für idioten, haben die jetzt alle den Arsch offen? '

Python 2. Python is an awesome language, but Python 2. No. I want to die.
It's deprecated as of 2018, so get your shit together and update your fucking libraries, community!

It's just a bad day and not a bad life.
Tell you to hang on. Hang on! Hopes die last.

Yours truly might make the money by new year to buy themself a new laptop.
And only then the projects that were left to die, will finally see the light!

Fingers crossed tho! 🤞

PHP is the best language because it gets told a few million times a day to die() and explode()

Me: has continuous mental breakdowns and health issues because of stress@college
Mom: if you dont finish college you wont get a good job
Me (already earning more than my parents together): yeah u r right
Me: *continues college*

Can i just die

If you do this as a developer I will personally come over and make you eat all your money you earned with this scam cent by cent until you exploed and die.

Fuck you.

Too tired to rant.

The wasp, remember? yeah I finally got angry yesterday when it showed up again, so today I bought a spray can and sprayed it. mofo finally gave in and left from the window.
The bastard didn't die after half a can, no, IT FUCKING LEFT!

GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

I'mma be waay to real with you all here, I'm sad, lonely, and scared that I don't take as many oppertunities to "viva la vida" as I should, and that ultimately I will live an unfufilling life and or die alone.

AHHHHHH. I KNEW I'D SEE YOU, YOU LITTLE BALL OF HAIR, CUM, AND PISS. GO DIE IN HELL.

Sad story of how software die 👻!
When do you call a technology obsolete 👴?
Mac user: when you have something new and costly 💰!
Linux user: when it is old and free 🆓 open source alternative are released!
Windows user: when antivirus 🕵 can no longer protect you!

Have you noticed that many core Linux C programs use "die" as the error-and-exit method name?

Just shows how much these devs think of Linux processes as living people.

Now one of us just has to create a Skynet without the die() function.

everyone who bought a domain just to reserve it and sell it for $5000+ and dont even use it: i hope you and your whole family and ancestors and kids die in the most painful, brutal Ruthless death, prior to suffering in pain, agony and torture by the satan himself.

Websites that show a notification dot the first time I visit with zero interaction from my end: I hope you die. This is terrible exploitation of UX, and unless I really need something, I'm leaving the site within seconds.

so I am about to take a full time job for less than 150 dollars a month, with all my skillset being put to use, I'm supposed to teach arduino and web development and be at work at least three times a week including Saturday.

I just want to die, probably

dead people dont stress

Two years ago I said good riddance and go fucking die to everything Microsoft and I haven't looked back since.

I can work completely on my Mac. Life is now stress free.

I don't really "keep" myself motivated. I wake up with certain amount of motivation every day and then I slowly die inside through out the day, every day.

To the cunts who use single character aliases for their SQL queries table joins... Suck my throbbing dick till you choke on it and die....

That's all... back to work

My laptop has decided to die. Say goodbye to my dual boot antergos and windows. . Good thing I had money set aside for this very fateful day.

Goodnight sweet prince

OMG people please stop being so fucking lazy... help me help you... RN I have multiple support people asking me to fix a bug that they can't even describe (and honestly I doubt it exists) and a fellow developer who refuses to give me a DB or migration to test his patch but wants me to merge it urgently. FOH and die, y'all.

People think I don't get angry easily at office. I just don't want to get angry, at least in real world.

My mind is constantly clouded with "throwing things away, smashing my computer to crumbs, telling people to go die, fuck off, punching faces, kicking butts, committing murders and nuking the whole world".

The moment I learnt "print_r" and "die" in php my life become easier.

WTH.... Did my laptop finally die and enter into a boot loop or is Windows Updating?

Either way FML.... How long should I wait?

My f*cking laptop died. Well, the HDD did. And now I'll be without a computer until I have replaced this f*cking piece of hardware. I kinda wanna die.

This is why I hate Windows:

For about a month now, I've been learning/working on salesforce, so my Macbook was enough for me.
Today there was a bug in something I built in iur Python backend, and since it has a dependency on windows, I booted the old guy up.

And this is what I see. For about 1.5 hours this went on.

Then it started, but system consuming 100% disk and 80+% CPU. Can't do a thing.

And when zoom finally opened (for a quick meet), the camera turned on halfway down the meeting, and then the system restarted on it's own.

Old man showing that same screen again for more than 30 minutes.

Since I have dual boot on this one, I hard-shutdown it using power button, and now boot into ubuntu 20. This works so beautifully (although it froze for about 5 seconds before popping up the updates panel, something I CHOSE to keep enabled). I try going back to Windows, and it's hell again.

Here I am now trying to set up a ec2 instance and setup the app source there so that I can debug with RDP.

And yeah, Component Object Model is a motherfucking bitch. Person who invented it should die. People who build apps leveraging this should die. Business leaders who say "Hey this app (built with COM) can solve the problem easily, so use this" should die choking on their own phallus. And developers like me who keep using this because "the last guy did this" should die too.

Microsoft and it's products are the death of sane people.

Fucking Gates. Its the same damn hardware.

L'appel du vide A.K.A. Call Of The Void.

Urge to do anything that will lead you to certain death for no reason.

Like when you are near a cliff and think "if i jump off i'll die"

or

"if i drop the database, it will die"

FUCK Internet Explorer

Just fuck it

Go die in a fire and burn the ashes, you outdated, flea-infested, psychopathic bastard. Then drown in your own grave and go to hell.

Fuck today and fuck every piece of shit manager and non-dev coworker that thinks they contribute anything meaningful besides being a fucking idiot and making things complicated. I hope my team, except for the other devs, jumps off a bridge into a valley of dicks and spikes. I hope my client tells them to personally fuck themselves for being such a useless waste of space. Fuck off and die cunts.

!Rant

Day 2 of "I'm done regretting"

The jog was still really painful and I still thought I was going to die, but in the bright side, a little bit less than yesterday.

💪💪

What if - when you want to switch off the light or anything, you are supposed to get electrocuted and die.

But instead, your consciousness switched to an alternate reality and live, and you wouldn't notice.

Jeez..I need to stop watching scifi. I wont look at switched the same again.

Ok. question:

should I learn Java or not?

I come from a C++ background and would (obviously) like to know, wether I need Java in my career. I already have some pretty neet projects like a selfmade "compiler" , Im currently building a chess engine that doesnt brute force.

An alle deutschen:
Kann jemand mir sagen, wie ich als 9. Klässler einen nachmittagsjob (bestenfalls homeworking) bekommen könnte? Es geht mir nicht um das Geld, sondern um die Erfahrung und die sicherheit, schon einmal etwas VOR dem Abi in der Hand zu haben

The legacy codebase, episode 4584985948:
- outdated comment
- die parentheses space string no-space parentheses
- die AND exit, just to be on the safe side
- won't comment about the screaming boolean
- at least they used triple equals (and yep, that's a font ligature)

Hey React, why won't you die?

Seriously, you are cumbersome to use, heavy as shit, awful syntax and do only the most basic reactive operations possible.

Why do you have to re-render un-changed components?

You were good when you came out, but please, get the fuck out of job requirements everywhere.

When there is a fire alarm where I work, someone has to go print out the door access logs so we have a list of who is (theoretically) on site and make sure no one is still inside. The printer is half way across the building. And breaks down at least once a day.

We are all going to die.

Internet Explorer: Fuck off and die

Our management pushes very hard to move most company communications to Facebook Workplace and I'm proud to say that after almost 2 years and with less than a month left here I still haven't made an account. I didn't fucking detox myself from social media to deal with this bullshit at work so that these greedy morons can pretend we're a 'communituh'.

People doing javascript without semicolons should die !!!! Just kill you!!!!

And if you use less than 3 letters for naming, there is a special hell that awaits you, when we murder you after a lot of suffering!!!!

PM asked me to make the code deeper, here's the new load script:

//Someone is born (init script and load deps, also run it)
$life = new begin_life();
//magic happens (generate random token)
$life->Living = openssl_random_pseudo_bytes(rand(), TRUE);
//We end it all
$life->die();

When you find this in the PHP code:

if(condition) {
// code
} else {
die('horrible death');
}

Cheers to the fellow devRanter who added it and also to whoever is going to get to "else" part :D

Got tired of these "share or die" messages and sent this to everyone-
"Hey, read this,

1. WA will not give free stuff if you forward a message to 10 groups.

2. You can't send a message to some people and cure someone else's cancer

3. WA won't pay someone else when you forward a goddamn message.

4. WhatsApp gold is fake. It is a fake app that can steal your passwords, pictures and other private stuff.

5. Gods don't use WhatsApp. So you won't die if you don't forward messages. 

6. WhatsApp.com is the only official WhatsApp site. 

Sites like 'whatsapp.xyz.com' and 'claimprize.whatsapp.fml.com' are FAKE.

☺☺

Now you know. Spread this! "

The fact that I was just able to unplug my phone because it was fully charged and just swap the cable to my Chromebook just makes me way too excited for the future of tech peripherals!

(Yes I love USB-C and Bluetooth and am one of those people who are happy and excited to see the headphone jack die)

I think my hard drive is going to die.

My laptop takes 15 minutes to start up and it takes a fucking long time to open any program but once they're opened they run pretty well... And it does since two weeks ago!

This is a hdd related problem, isn't it?

Sit down to do a math lab in Maple on university computers. Struggle for a while with shitty software. Click on a help link provided by Maple for an error I was getting.

BSOD outta nowhere.

Hadn't saved my work. And Maple was developed by the best university in Canada. I hope they all catch something rare and incurable and die.

Legit have to control myself not responding to subtle sarcasm or passive aggressiveness in people's rant or comments with utter salt and shade. 😒😒😒

Note to self: Live and let die.

Client: This feature is already present in one of my other projects, you just need to copy paste it.

Me: Ohh, I will have a look at it :)

What I felt: Nothing in code works with 'just copy paste!! Bitch.

AND YOU ARE THE 100TH PERSON TELLING ME THAT, SO...... YOU HAVE DIE!

Why every day I have to fight for a charger cos the manager needs his phone on a constant charge from a power socket.

Fuck you and no I don't care that your shits gonna die now and yes, every fucking day we're doing this, don't fuck with me. My laptop > your phone and your ingress game

Die linux fanboy, die!

No seriously. I'm not trying to be salty, but i'm fed up with sysadmins and developers that proclaim that linux will one day save the world from the clutches of companies like microsoft.

STOP BOTHERING ME!

I quit…. I have gone to start a farm. Farming is straightforward for the most times I will know why my crops are dying and intervene quickly. With systems they will die or people will break them. The system usually decides wen to work and wen not to work. Resolve issues by themselves after days..

web dev agency makes a job ad that fits exactly my skill set.
*send an email in a good form with resume and everything*
No acceptance, no decline, no "we'll look at it", just nothing...
just fucking die already -_ -

The world is so stupid... An app called Die With Me works only under 5% battery and lets you chat anonymously... when the connection is lost its said "*Name* Is dead"
Really fucking stupid but worth a try... Why did i buy this ag

Remember that time I did an interview and it went horribly and I wanted to die then got called back and aced that shit? Well I got the job. Pay is bunkers too. Excited to be part of a new very cool project.

1. PHP would just die

2. Typescript become more popular than flow and the rest

3. Recruiters would stop assuming nodejs = react dev

when locally editing code but Web is not changing, then adding die() in the beginning, and still not changing

then delete the code and webpage still not changing...

after a lot of cursing, you release you were refreshing on server!!!!!

Oh so you have a merge conflict this weekend? The only time of the week I try not to think of ripping your nob off, tying a noose around your neck with it and drowning you in a well full of piranhas? Right, right...

How about you take that dick that you've been trying to locate since you were 5 and practice choking on it every day till you die just so you have enough experience to suck demon dongs in hell for eterniity! I seriously hope you die of cancer you fucking wankstain!

How about you go home and keep disappointing that whore of a wife of yours, you know that stinking pile of shit that you stick your dick in every two weeks?

I swear to god, if I read another medium post on how you managed to be focused and productive I will fucking... well... roll my eyes, make a facepalm and rant about it on devRant!

Who gives a shit if I'm unproductive and unfocused?!

Well, look at me now, I'm fucking productive while I write about you, you fucking peace off shit! And guess what? I'm not even using any of your 40 todo apps or time trackers. There is no pomodoro timer next to me or framed quotes from Steve Jobs hanging on the wall. Oh, I must be a fucking genius!

But what if YOU became unproductive?
What will happen when YOU start to procrastinate?

Do you really think the world would care?

Oh, but you are not really a writer are you? you're a developer building your app!?
Well fuck, I guess you're going to change the world than?
It's your big project. Your life's work, your legacy.

Let me remind you...

All apps will be abandoned!
All blog post will be forgotten!
Productive people will die!
Focused people will die!
Enthusiastic bloggers writing about productivity will die!
All CEOs and CTOs will die!
All developers will die!
Steve Jobs is dead!
In x years, you and I will also be dead!

Whatever you do, it's not really that important!
It's really not.

You're not going to change the world.
The world doesn't need another app.
The world doesn't need your advice on how to be productive.
You are not special.

Deal with it!

I am as sure as I am of anything that the software I am working in is sentient and pulling the long con on me to kill me over the course of my career via stress. Joke's on it though. With the amount of drinking I do to cope with the stress I will die of alcoholism way before I die of stress. Take that. Victory is mine.

The word, "Code" being used as a verb,
"Cloud",
'Big Data",
Recruiters,
Scratch,
Any other crappy "Teach your kid to code!" Product,
And finally, mondays.

This is the comprehensive list of buzzwords and things in general that make me want to die right now

Because, definitely, size shouldn't matter.

Code description for the blind: if the size of this query is loved, then close the database and die.

Rant?
So... I've been to the doctor's, I have a high blood pressure (I'm only 30 ffs).
She says I'm too grumpy, over thinking and should loose weight.

FML I'm gonna die young... At least the wife will get my life insurance...

god... why is the stupid "tAbS oR sPaCeS?" still around, it's like some stupid ass HR person got it long ago and it's never gone away. nobody has used tabs to write or format code since like the 1950s when there were mechanical fucking typewriters! and if you use them today in your editor, you're WRONG

I will die on this hill.

Microsoft is asshoe.
They tried to force update a Windows 10 Home machine to Windows 11. Nobody clicked okay on anything. It had icon in task bar indicating it would install it on reboot. I had to go into the update settings to click "no for now". Fuck you microsoft. Eat shit and die. Just leave my shit alone.

How the Common Lisp Community will eventually die soon:

Clojure is the only main Lisp dialect having some sort of heavy presence in today's modern development world. Yes, I am aware of other(if not all) environments in which Lisp or a dialect of it is being used for multiple things, CADLisp, Guile Scheme, Racket, etc etc whatever. I know.

Not only is Clojure present in the JVM(I give 0 fucks about whether you like it or not also) but also has compilation targets for Javascript via Clojurescript. This means that i can effectively target backend server operations, damn near everything inside of the JVM and also the browser.
Yet, there is no real point in using Lisp or Clojure other than for pure academic endeavours, for which it is not even a pure functional programming language, you would be better served learning something else if you want true functional purity. But also because examples for one of the major areas in software development, mainly web, are really lacking, like, lacking bad, as in, so bad most examples are few in between and there is no interest in making it target complete beginners or anything of the like.

But my biggest fucking gripe with Lisp as a whole, specifically Common Lisp, is how monstrously outdated the documentation you can find available for it is.

Say for example, aesthetics, these play a large role, a developer(web mostly) used to the attention to detail placed by the Rails community, the Laravel community, django, etc etc would find on documentation that came straight from the 90s. There is no passion for design, no attention to detail, it makes it look hacky and abandoned. Everything in Lisp looks so severely abandoned for which the most abundant pool of resources are not even made present on a fully general purpose language constrained as a scripting environment for a text editor: Emacs with Emacs Lisp which I reckon is about the most used Lisp dialect in the planet, even more so than Clojure or Common Lisp.

I just want the language to be made popular again y'know? To have a killer app or framework for it much like there is Rails for Ruby, Phoenix for Elixir, etc etc. But unless I get some serious hacking done to bring about the level of maturity of those frameworks(which I won't nor I believe I can) then it will always remain a niche language with funny syntax.

To be honest I am phasing away my use of Clojure in place of Pharo. I just hate seeing how much the Lisp community does in an effort to keep shit as obscure and far away from the reach of new developers as possible. I also DESPISE reading other Lisp developer's code. Far too fucking dense and clever for anyone other than the original developer to read and add to. The idea that Lisp allows for read only code is far too real man.

Lisp has been DED for a while, and the zombies that remain will soon disappear because the community was too busy playing circle jerks for anything real to be done with it. Even as the original language of AI it has been severely outshined by the likes of Python, R and Scala, shit, even Javascript has more presence in AI than Lisp does now a days.

Best: Lived with my family and ate well

Worst: Didn't die

Thinking about going full bum and just hike national parks until I die. No job, no possessions, no electronics, no hell, no heaven, no nothing - just living totally in nature - and if I die? So what 🤷‍♂️

Okay so my friend got me kingdom come deliverance for my day of birth and ive been playing it nonstop (the game not my friend). This shit is so cool, its skyrim without all the annoying parts AND YOU CAN FUCKING DIE HERE FINALLY. I love medieval stuff.

Immortality, but like the good kind where you​ stop aging. Because i could learn so much stuff in all that time and tbh who wants to die

This is incredibly interesting. How the frikkin-frik did the WiFi and Bluetooth die on my Raspberry Pi 3. Yes, I realize they work in tandem but how does something like this just die after just sitting around and performing light duty tasks for just a few months.

Reinstalled Rasbpain 2 times, nothing. USB WiFi dingle works great.

Not really a rant but I wonder how shit like this happens.

The Pi is in a case away from my cats, in a temperature controlled environment and adorned with the official power adapter.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm.

Who of you play/like Tabletop RPGs more than computergames RPGs?

I personally hate it when i dont have the freedom to be the character I want to be in a digital RPG.
So I started looking into Dungeons and Dragons a few years back and finally decided to start playing Pathfinder because it was gaining more and more popularity.

So do you play tabletop RPGs, if so how did you get introduced to it?

To the people who keep overwriting our meeting room bookings in Outlook, fuck you and I hope you all die in a fire.

THE TYPESCRIPT DEFINITIONS SAGA CONTINUES

> IHateForALiving: so, I don't really know which field we're supposed to use here, but that's your entity I'm working on, so...
> TeamLeader2: wait, what is this? Why does your code have autocomplete?
> IHateForALiving: Every time I worked on some parts of the code I've been writing some type definitions along the way, and it's adding autocomplete if you type hint your code... but I've been told not to write them anymore, so I stopped
> TeamLeader2: But why tho? It's so fucking handy
> IHateForALiving:

I just hate this life so damn much, 14 and depressed with possible anxiety and suicidal attempts is not easy. My parents are the worst. MY brother sucks. I wanna die.

whole fucking day of coding.
git server down for maintenance so compresses folders / send. lost everything. if i meet a microsoft employee today there will be blood and piss. DIE U FUCKING FUCKS!!€

I fucking hate angular with passion and whoever made it please die in slow painful death thanks

Each Monday, when I go to office, I die. And the next Friday, when I leave the office, I am reborn

You know that I'm pretty young for a programmer(as I said the other time) and instead of working on my website I'm dragged to macy's

I want to die -_-

I try to remember that I'm going to die some day and all I've done until will be meaningless and remain forgotten. And what a great way to die if I die in the middle of some bullshit apache setup, launching a dockerized flask or creating my own stupid marketing app...

OMFG!
Who created that overcomplicated shit called "MS Project"?!
I hope you die of something slow and painful!
FUUUUUUUUCK

I just had a nightmare like I open the fridge and there is a cup with rotten slices of ham inside it and I look around and there is my ex with 8 hands telling me to E A T I T

and there is a feeling of complete helplessness and immense fear like I'm going to die right there. It's like suffocating in your sleep it's awful

Here's my new function:

/**
* Output Debugging information and Die
*
* @return hopefully
*/
public function odd()
{
//stuff here
}

Hopefully, you don't have to ODD too much when you write code... like I have to do right now

fuck sakes

Whoever made these fucking AIML libs that are unmaintianed for eons should fucking die.

Seriously, I want to make a fucking AI in AIML in Node.js but I can't because none of them ever fucking works

Jesus fuck you fags should go to hell, get your soul forked by Satan and and rot in despair you impregnated wankflaps

When you hate ur job so bad and secretly apply to a new one, do two interviews, then reduce 400$ from what u said ur expected salary was because youd rather die then use wordpress one more time.

quantum computing cause it would be theoretically possible to digitize humans - I want to die and have my corpse burned before they start doing it so I won’t land in some metaverse corporate hell world against my will

Today I had a weird dream. The mars was collapsing to earth. Weird part was when everybody panicking and screaming I was watching it getting bigger and bigger every second. I was like "woah, this is amazing". I knew there was no point being scared because everyone will die anyway. I embraced death and enjoyed my last moments. That was realy weird experience.

Security bug reported 7 years ago!
this is how architect will cover up.. (4)

My second monitor is about to die...
10 years on service for a plasma monitor.
This monitor is the last surviving piece of two of the most important moments of my life. I was dating the woman of my life which I let go away and was int he Army...
Past is past, still...

Why is accidentally uploading a binary file in ASCII mode via FTP still something people do? Aside from the obvious point that FTP needs to die and something else needs to be used instead, isn't it about time binary was the default?

If I die within the next week, please know it wasn't stress but people annoying me to death with their infuriating mix of ignorance and stupidity.

Code in index.php: if(!isset($_COCKIE['access'] == '123') {
echo 'Denied'; die;
}

And then there was the access.php which set the cookie.

So you had to go to foo.com/access.php which displayed a white page and set the cookie. Then navigate back to foo.com for access

My next project is a functional fitness/crossfit application and my client requires me to attend and participate sessions with them in order for me to understand and appreciate the sport. I got the point but OMG I only know sports via tv,youtube,etc.. and not really fun of socializing. I might die doing this project. Help me!

Unpopular opinion: JS isnt that bad (given you use ES6+). Only node needs to die, and if possible please yesterday.

If you write a blog post on how to build “some-component” and the first step in your article is to run “npm install framework-some-component”…

I hope you die in a fire.

Buy dell, hp, lenovo and any other craptop company out there and fire all the numbnuts working there so that they slowly die of unemployment in the fucking gutters where their useless asses rightly belong. Oh and castrate them too so that they don't reproduce.
I'm considering going full Lannister on them but that might be too harsh.

People responsible for closing threads on stackoverflow for "We don’t allow questions seeking recommendations for software libraries" should die and rot in hell forever.

Whoever created the google adsense/admob report api and its documentation : choke on my dick and die you fucking asshole.

I really need to go back to school and brush up on the basics this summer. The problem with being self-taught is that you have glaring big gaps in just that, the basics, and as the projects get more complicated it really starts to show.

Sure I get The Thing done but... I'd die if anyone saw the code behind it.

1. React and all subsequent Facebook endeavors die
2. Be able to completely understand all code I come across
3. More dev wishes

Fuc* you Android studio, slowing down my pc every fuc*ing time. I hate you, go and die please.

Am I the only one who turns off the PC by executing "die" in the command line?

(I use Archlinux with i3wm, so there is not a graphic button to turn off the PC, and writing shutdown -h 0 was too long)

Man slack is so evil and shit. They wont let you access conversion history without paid plan.WTF?!! That is so evil!

I hope they rot and die in hell. Fuck slack.

Internet Explorer needs to just die and go to hell where it belongs. Doesn't even give me useful console errors-_-

Does anyone here reject a requirement because there exists no elegant solution to it and you shall die before writing spaghetti code?🤔

Ooooh MOTHERFUCKER. God fucking dammit. Jesus FUCKING christ. Motherfucking local caching on firefox and chrome. Reload the MOTHERFUCKING PAGE, it's why I pressed CNTRL R you fucking blighted cunts.

Some days I wish I had a brick to toss at the fucking head of the nearest chrome/firefox developer.

Fucking assholes. Eat shit and die alone of cancer fucksticks.

Developer in anger : I'm gonna leave this team and the manager/team will suffer for my loss and the project will fail.

In the meanwhile,

Manager to the senior manager : If one of the developers die or leaves the team, the project deadline extends by 1 month.

Senior manager : Great.

EML and MIME files can go straight to the top of Go Fuck Yourself Mountain and fall off a fucking cliff into the Sea of Eat Shit and Die.

ASP: Here's your cookie value. I went ahead and automatically removed all the space characters for you. Wasn't that nice?
Me: GO FUCKING SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FUCKING FACE AND FUCKING DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
ASP: :( but I just--
Me: FUCKING DO IT

!rant

@dfox @trogus

I just watched the "die bastard die" cartoon and have to say it's fucking excellent.

I never actually laugh out loud at these things, but this made me piss myself a little bit.

Well played.

!rant
I just had the weirdest dream ever!!
I dreamed that PHP is like cancer: It eats you slowly from within and eventually you die.

And the weird thing is that I use PHP for a project..
Maybe it's a sign?😱

everyone warned me, but did I listen!

I've done enough troubleshooting to last me a lifetime, I'm just gonna rollover and die

fuck you windows 10

What if PHP's die() function would suddenly start working and all the PHP developers would die?

Local underpaid developer with stress related hair loss thinks of reasons to die while excessively paid boss looks over his shoulder and asks him if he can do some overtime.

Hey guys, I wouldn't really mind if you moved the live devrant podcast thing to a later time, I have school and I would kill or die to be there for it. Kill. Or. Die.

Sometimes I just wish Core Data would die.

I logged the managed object context of each object being touched and they're all identical. 😑😑😑😑😑😑

When you ask someone for something and they say this is how we've always done it. 😩😩😩. I die a little on the inside.

Fuck you WooCommerce and fuck you shopify, also a big fuck you to every developer who thinks it's a good idea to notify other customers about what another customer just bought in real time.

Guess fucking what. I don't fucking care what uncle deadinthehead just bought. Get fucking raped in a columbian prison and die to aids infested rain..

Dear Take-Two Studios and Rockstar games.

Die.

Love,
poster983

Working as a junior dev with Js, moment.js, php and MySQL dates and trying make them respect (not love) each other and talk to each other nicely...

OH GOD WHY AM I DOING THIS MYSELF, JUST DIE IN MY SLEEP ALREADY, MY MOTHER TOLD ME I SHOULD BE A DOCTOR

once my boss said: One of the app's animations didn't show on sun light 😎
P.S. I was starting to laugh but than i actually changed the animation... and it become sun light proof animation 😎
P.S. Then i die in peace

> People: Mister IHateForALiving, the external consultant who took care of the new client is about to leave :) his leader is searching for someone to help him and build the new features :) we think you should be doing it, you're very good with the frontend

I WILL NOT FIX
YOUR FUCKING
TECHNICAL DEBT

You fucking moron of a "tech lead", working like a human was free; you chose to work like a dog and encouraged the external consultant to work like a dog as well. From now until you resign, this mess is yours to clean.

my psychopathic college gave me a task based on the given data to calculate the probablity with which we will die from cancer and the worst part is this calculation is accurate

Programming Paradigm Convergence.

I can already see it in JS and C#. Both have functional/OO aspects and keep growing more similar in terms of language features.

I'd rather see OOP die a fast and horrible death though 🤷‍♂️

if you are a good developer, been dispensable in a project is like quicksand: the more you try not to be, more important you become ... and you die choked by Jira tickets and anger

Decided to make apps and try to make money on a solo venture with the android app store, plan in mind to go at iphone when money is made.

It's not going well

Guess I'll starve and die

The current state of wordpress "web development" makes me want to punch myself in the balls.
I remember when we coded a lot of stuff, now everything is janky drag and dropping, all plugins have premium versions with the actual features you need, templates are more and more full of dependencies that are trash. Wordpress is ruined. I want it to die already.

What is your experience with Azure and Azure DevOps?

I got a decent job offer but they are microsoft die-hards and use everything from M$.

Is it usable or is it making you angry?

Wrote and signed my will on April 1st.
Guarantee that I'll die smiling imagining the look on their faces.

Stack overflow is full of useless assholes, like I asked a specific question about a problem I am having that is similar to another problem that exists but it is not the same at all in terms of how to fix and instead of helping I’ve got 2 downvotes on it and a comment linking me to a completely unrelated stylistic based question based on something I SAID I HAD ALREADY TRIED CHANGING IN MY QUESTION!!! Here’s my question btw in case anyone can help here before I smash up my laptop 😑:
I have a piece of code in which I am trying to read in words which have been categorised using a number and then placed in a text file in the following format "word-number-" with a new line for each word. However, despite not mixing cin>> and getline and having tried a number of methods I still cannot get it working.
So far I have attempted using a cin.ignore() call to clear any '\n' char's from the buffer, as well as checking if the file is opening in the first place (it is), and using the >> operator instead throughout my code however I could not get that working either. When I place the get line call inside the condition of the while loop, the while loop doesn't run, however when I make the while loop condition a .eof() call it will run once however when I try to print the text that has been read from the getline call it just prints a blank line.
if(file.is_open()){
while(!file.eof()){
getline(file, text, '-');
count++;
cout<<count<<endl;
cout<<text<<endl;
if(count%2 == 1){
wordBuff = text;
}else if(count%2 == 0){
if(stoi(text) == wordClass){
wordList.push_back(wordBuff);
}
}
}
file.close();
}
While I recognise there are a lot of other questions on this out there I cannot seem to get any of their solutions to work and the vast number being related to people mixing the >> operator and getline doesn't help, so any tips or solutions will be of great help

Python, my program doesn't work but is not giving any error, i read all the stackoverflow questions, arrived on the fourth page on Google, and the documentation is poor...
I'm about to die

Nearly strangled a fellow dev after finding out he refuses to use xdebug and litters his code with `die()`statements instead

really really bad ear infection, main rig finally gave up but i gotta wait 3 weeks to replace it still, gotta apply for SSDI and Medicaid or i'm gonna slowly and painfully die, college rapidly taking sanity i don't have

when will it end

Every time I have to explain to someone what projects I've done, and what I'm currently working on.

No, they're not the most useful and don't showcase any skill using this framework or that piece of knowledge. You're not the first to tell me. I like what I do and if I die hungry because of it, so be it.

A fellow developer think SASS is slow and "slower" to write. But wants me to edit styles in a 10k line style sheet. Anyone else had similar problems converting die hard CSS fanboys to use SASS.

I would have never guessed when I my steam deck that my laptop and desktop would die the the same week my grandpa would die. An I would be tasked to make a memorial video for him. But the steam deck is truly the best console ever even does video editing better then I ever expected.

After being abducted and enduring torture, I injected the serum and became blur. Translucent black, with a red heart. I can make people disappear. Me putting someone inside my heart makes them feel 10,000 years of hell before they die.

Cause when you die or exit from process it doesn’t matter how it happened, was it kill -9, sigkill or sigterm. As long as you go to hell / heaven / you name it and not to /dev/null you can still try to segfault the universe. Just give me the code !!!

And it aligns well with depression, alcoholism and lack of sleep.

// I could not post it yesterday coz #devrant

Am I the only person here who really but really started to hate fireworks?

Everyone is shooting, I can't even play because it is so loud outside and do not try to open windows coz you will die from poisoning in seconds...

I wonder why devs care so much about which programming language will die soon, so they keeping jumping from one language to another every year, while what I think is you will die before the language or you will be old by then and writing one line of code will be nightmare for you. Stop jumping languages jut get shit done.

Video game. Nothing but a final boss fight right from the start. Boss has infinite health. There is no time limit. If you die in the game, you die in real life.

That's what it's like to live with bipolar disorder.

For the love of god PLEASE keep yourself away from emotional stress and trauma.

I don't get fired, laid off, or demoted

I'm gona get fired and lose my wife and kids because all I can think about is 7 Days to Die.

If you complain audibly at a metal show at a metal bar about how rowdy and feral it gets, I hope you die a painful death and everyone complains how loud you die.