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How long will it take?
Me: 45mins
...5 hours later
I thought you said 45 minutes
Me: Yeah. 45 minutes from now.3 -
45 minutes into a technical presentation called "Architecture Meets Design", I realized the guy built houses.8
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- Everything works 10 minutes before presentation
- Nothing works on presentation
- Cry myself in toilet after presentation9 -
If I do a job in 30 minutes it’s because I spent 10 years learning how to do that in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.12
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He gave me task, and I estimated it will take 2 (120 minutes) hours...
He came after 20 minutes to check the progress... Then he came after 40 minutes... Then he call me after 70 minutes... Then he came again after 90 minutes... Then I delivered the task in the time with my resignation letter draft.9 -
Spent a good 7 minutes wondering what 18. Ago was in a date field.
Minutes ago?
Hours ago?
Days ago?
Turns out my browser was set to Spanish and it's the short format for 18 August....
I guess it's been a long week.1 -
*call from boss on the weekend*
Boss: hey, we have an important demo the next week, can you make that xyz changes (not big deal)
Me: okay, gimme 15 minutes
~30 minutes later~
Boss:still waiting tho
Me: *sending this:
6 -
Just cloned a 90 GB Virtual Box, 15 minutes later when the clone was 90% done, I got an error message saying that I don't have enough disk space (I had only 80 GB). WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT 15 MINUTES TO GET THAT INFORMATION????4
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A: Hey, can we talk about X for 5 minutes?
B: Yes, sure. I'm joining the meeting
...
...
You have left the room:
Meeting duration: 1 hour and 15 minutes9 -
Feeling bored? Just break a random component of your OS and spend a few minutes fixing it. If you're lucky these minutes will expand to hours. Problem solved!8
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*looks at data in database*
This float column seems wierd. The fractional parts are never above .59
*reality sets in*
Wtf the previous devs encoded whole minutes as hundredths. 1.25 = 1h 25 minutes.
Fuck me...no wonder the numbers weren't adding up correctly.7 -
10 minutes ago my phone was at 20%.
I stopped working on it, and plugged in the charger. I read a book for no longer than 10 minutes, and checked to see how much charge it has.
It was at 52% holy shit.21 -
Apparently thousands of our users are still using IE 6. While average users spend ~12 minutes on our site, they spend ~20 minutes.5
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Get children! You'll have so little time over for your fun projects that you force yourself to stop procrastinating and start accomplishing truly amazing things in just 5 minutes here and 20 minutes there.7
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Dear Managers,
This is not efficient:
Boss: * calls *
Me: * answers *
B: there's a bug in feature ABC! The form doesn't work!
M: ABC uses a lot of forms. Is it Form A, B, or C?
B: Umm... let's just go on a Zoom call!
* 5 minutes trying to set up a Zoom call *
* 3 more minutes trying to find the form *
B: This form in here.
M: It works fine for me. What data are you inputting?
B: * takes 5 minutes trying to reproduce the bug * (in the meantime, the call is basically an awkward silence)
You spent 5 minutes wasting both of our times trying to set up a Zoom meeting, and another 8 wasting MY tine trying to find the bug.
This is efficient:
B: There is a bug in form C. If I try to upload this data, it malfunctions.
M: Thank you. I'll look into it.
You saved me 8 minutes of staring at a screen and saved us both another 5 minutes of setting up a meeting.6 -
When you finally get the courage to write your first question on Stack overflow and you totally try to work it out well for 30 minutes and it gets a down vote within 5 minutes.9
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Advertisements for crap like Wix makes people believe development is easy.
"Build a complete website in minutes!"
Yeah! It only takes minutes if the site doesn't have any features. FFS4 -
Sometimes I feel really bad becouse i am incapable of coding faster.
I saw someone coding a prototype of pong in 5 minutes.
It took me 30 minutes just to make the constructor function of the paddles8 -
I hate when I'm being questioned when I wander off to the kitchen to get a sandwich for 5 minutes when the smokers at the office have their sixth smoking break that usually takes about 10 minutes.
Let me enjoy my non-smoker breaks 😒7 -
Apparently I finished 89% of a course yesterday night by only watching 2 minutes of it.
Turns out I fell asleep after the 2 minutes into, since I was already in bed and the phone kept on playing and my sleep cells covered 89% of it.
5 -
Please google, stop the recaptcha madness...I'm sitting here for 30 minutes, clicking on road signs10
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“An omelette, promised in two minutes, when not ready in two minutes, the customer has two choices – wait or eat it half-cooked. Software customers also have the same choices.”6
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analysing a database problem and writing a 4-line fix: 5 minutes.
preparing a foolproof manual for the manager on how to apply the fix: 15 minutes
writing a manager-level explanation what the fix does: 30 minutes.
explaining it to the manager: 30 minutes.
writing a _detailled_ explanation why we need the fix: 60 minutes.
explaining it to the manager again: 30 minutes.
figuring out why our progress is slow:
_priceless_6 -
Me : it is 12 A.M. now. I should sleep.
Mind : Okay. 10 more minutes.
Me : (At 12:30) Okay. I will sleep now.
Mind : 10 more minutes, please.
Me: (At 4 A.M.) i should sleep now.
Mind : LOL. 10 more....2 -
TFW you spend 30 minutes debugging an app that isn't working right only to find out it's working exactly as it's supposed you, you just forgot you put that bit in there that does that thing.
One character change later and it's working perfectly. ONE CHARACTER! THIRTY BASTARD MINUTES! I just spent thirty minutes driving through every line of code and coming closer to the conclusion that Java was doing some kind of strange thing with dropping objects from memory. No, it wasn't Java that had memory problems, it's me! Just check me into the old peoples home now so I can spend my day pissing my pants and making lewd comments at the nurses because that's all I'm fucking useful for at this point!!
I need a coffee.5 -
Trying to get to the weekend like:
If I use the restroom for 10 minutes then make myself some coffe for 5 minutes then
Only 7 hrs and 45 minutes till I can leave! Sweet!1 -
“An omelette, promised in two minutes, when not ready in two minutes, the customer has two choices – wait or eat it half-cooked. Software customers also have the same choices.” - Brooks.
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When you give a Deep Learning scientist a clean whiteboard.
This is literally 5 minutes into the second section of the class 😂😂
4 -
*Makes a small change in Webpack generator for Eclipse Theia*
*Takes 10 minutes to complete all tests*
*PR*
*Travis CI builds*
*Takes 30+ minutes*
Uh, Travis, you okay?
-
Android Studio opened in 6 minutes. Today is going to be a good day.
*Takes 24 minutes to load project*
Well not like I was going to do anything productive anyway.4 -
Booked an Uber...
ETA: 10 minutes...
*Checks 4 minutes later*
ETA: 12 minutes...
*Calls the driver to confirm pick up*
*waits for another 4 minutes*
ETA: 8 minutes
*Types in this rant with passive aggression*
ETA: 10 minutes...
So, I've waited 10 minutes after an initial ETA of 10 minutes and now I gotta wait 10 minutes extra.
Arggghhhhhh!
I'm not sure who the fuck is at fault here?
The devs? The ones who design the flow? The ones handling the execution at low levels?
Or us, the customers who keep on coming back to their services succumbed to the fact that we don't have many options!
Update: I've had to wait for half an hour till my cab could reach me.
HALF AN HOUR = Practically the time it would have taken me to walk to the cab!13 -
Fifteen minutes of coding
Fifteen minutes of specs
Five minutes of debugging
Two minutes of specs (just failures)
Thirty seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs
Ten seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs
Realize I made a typo due to RubyMine input lag
Two minutes of specs
Ten seconds of fixing and tweaking
Two minutes of specs
And so it goes.
All. day. long.
Sometimes it repeats.
That’s sort of nice.
Is it any wonder I can’t focus?5 -
When you and your superior get done with a project, and your superior almost gets fired so he's panicked and you're like "SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!"
Previously:"Come on man!! 20 minutes adventure, in and out."
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when you have to use the bathroom but you just keep telling yourself "I can finish this ticket in like 5 minutes tops"
30 minutes later... still haven't gone1 -
Yeah, maybe I can solve your problem in 5 minutes with you. But first you have to spend 5 minutes explaining it to me, and I need to spend 5 minutes listening, and after we're done, it takes 5 minutes to remember what I was doing in the first place.
So you better be sure you could not have solved it in 25 minutes googling on your own, or you're effectively saying your time is more valuable than mine.
And if you spend another 5 minutes forcing me to spend 5 minutes listening to your goddam stories about what it was like growing up on your fucking farm, so help me jebus, I will take that idiotic thing you call a mouse and shove it so far up your ass you'll be scrolling with your duodenum.1 -
Just ranted for 90 minutes on the Long Island Railroad and it seemed like 5 minutes! Thanks guys for all the cool rants.
-
I've played 46000 battles in WorldofTanks.
avg battle time: 10 minutes
Total minutes: 460000
Total hours: 7666.66
Total days: 319 days of gameplay!
Now I just wonder had I invested all that time to code what I could have become by now.6 -
Scrum Master? More like Scum Master.. The nutjob sends a calendar invite for daily stand up for 30 minutes which extends to 50 minutes.. 50 minutes for a team of 6 people ? Fuck off.6
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How to LAN -Party:
1: PC is starting normally, resolution fucked up, restart
2: booting for 10 minutes, restart, 2 times
3: repair tools open, 30 minutes system recovery
4: finally PC starts normally, everything works expect the game i want to play-.-1 -
End the f*ckin meeting on time! I don’t care if you still have more to say, 30 minutes should be 30 minutes.4
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Spotify: If you watch this ad, you can have 30 minutes uninterrupted music
Spotify 10 minutes later: EAT THIS FUCKING AD!!2 -
Alright y’all what’s the longest minute:
Microwave minute
Google drive upload 1 minute remaining
Windows copying less than 1 minute remaining
MacOS update screen 1 minute remaining2 -
I think I finally found my level of lazyness:
I rather go 2 minutes by feet and take a 15 minute bus ride instead of going 5 minutes by feet to take a 3-4 minute metro ride.2 -
guy shows up at the end of workday to tell me something i did last week changed yesterday and has to be redone, and asks if i can do it today. my boy, i tried, but 20 minutes is 20 minutes, idk what you expected2
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15 minutes delayed because whatever...
+30 minutes waiting for the next train, because my train stopped early because there was no AC and it were 38 degrees Celsius
+30 minutes, train I was changed to was delayed
Train I was changed to only had snacks to offer because they haven’t got water
+60 minutes on this train because, well why not
„We wish you had a pleasant journey“: notification pops while I’m still 2 hours in...
Yeah fuck off...1 -
Those living in Sydney know there's an app called Opal you can use to navigate public transport.
Part of this is app is a trip planner which can suggest the fastest route to your destination, and is aware of train and bus movements in real-time (supposedly)
Me: Fastest route from station T to station C
App: In 5 minutes, walk 12 minutes to station M and board train. You will arrive at your destination by 20:12
5 minutes later...
Me: Fastest route from station T to station C
App: In 1 minutes, board train. It is the same train that will arrive at station M in 12 minutes. You will arrive at your destination by 20:12
Am I going mad, or does they algorithm stink?5 -
Support asked me to help. Issue at customer side I don't realy care about (Not reproducable)
She told me to wait 3 minutes.
Since 10 minutes I'm waiting for her to be ready and reading meanwhile on devrant. Great Workingtime 👍 -
Visual studio keeps switching between dark and light themes automatically every couple minutes and it's infuriating.1
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I had expected to see people posting about the Valve Index so I waited a bit because I'm lazy.
Since nobody has posted it, here it is.
A few days ago Valve started the pre-order process for their new VR set. I bought one within 5 minutes of going live. They sold out in 8 minutes on the US store and within 25 minutes in Europe.
Who else has ordered/is gonna order it? Why (not)?7 -
Today: FUCK RADARE
5 minutes later: FUCK GHIDRA
2 minutes later: God bless both of these wonderful programs, and I finally think I understand what is going on.
2 minutes later: Fuck this, I hate everything, I'm going back to studying hardware shit.1 -
Boss knows that building a release version of the app we are working on takes like 20 minutes, and they need 3 different apks for separate apis.
customer to boss: so, when will you send the apks?
boss while smiling: yeah, like 10 minutes3 -
Connecting laptop to my TV.. It showed only wallpaper and taskbar
After 5 minutes of unplugging and plugging, I realized it was set as "extend" and not as "duplicate".. Well, there goes 5 minutes of my life -
It started with 30min max per week on spieleaffe (child game site) on our oldish slow HP windows vista machine.
We also had an even older pc at elementary school.
A year or two later I got that family Pc when we got a new laptop for our family.
The following years I had two laptop generations.1 -
I really hate that my boss will come 7 minutes into our scrum and he speaks for the next 10 minutes…like what actual hell?2
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Supervisor: "You could just hold a meeting for 5 minutes and talk about what problems you encountered during development"
Or... you could just go home and not waste your 5 minutes talking about jerking people off.1 -
In PC World yesterday after reserving an item online for "Collection within minutes". Took about 20 mins to get there.
Went to the collection desk and gave them my reservation number. Staff member (very friendly and nice) went to go get it. Waited 10 mins for them to come back and say "I'm having trouble finding it...".
I said thanks anyway then went next door to maplin to get what I needed.
Just annoyed they promise a collection in minutes service and the item doesn't even exist in the store.
Maybe as they don't specify the minutes it's actually ready to collect in a million minutes. -
Feeling sleepy reading v4l2 documentation.
Opens devrant for a few minutes.
After 45 minutes of scrolling and commenting.
Shit, I need to get the driver working today.1 -
Once at a foreign airport I decided to kill the time on Facebook... There were only 20 minutes of WiFi for free. After 20 minutes I opened terminal and hacked over the restriction...4
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That wonderful feeling when you modify a piece of code that you worked hard to get it down to run in 3 minutes flat take 8 minutes when you add a little fault tolerance to it 😑5
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Tryed to update bios within Windows. Let te application work for about 30 minutes. Want to cancell, click on the cancel button. Wait some minutes. Shut the PC down. Doesn't boot anymore. I'm retarded.6
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Me at 9 pm working on a project: this will only take a couple minutes...
Me a few minutes later: fuck, it's three in the morning...
And that's why I have sleep issues. -
Worst part of having a stupid team lead is that you first have to explain the work twice and then start the implementation.. which makes the 15 minutes work as 40 minutes.2
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Disconnected a production servers Ethernet adaptor ten minutes early. While people were working on it, and its failover was not quick...like five minutes not quick. Why isn't there a confirmation box on that Microsoft...2
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"In 5 minutes" (actually 6:52)
Wastes a good 3 minutes on introduction and "start eclipse".
Just to prevent some mental acrobats on here: yes, the timestamp is at 1.04, that's because the rest wouldn't have shown the actual slide.
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Started downloading Sierra this morning at 10am: "3 hours 15 minutes"
12pm: "2 hours 40 minutes"
2pm: "2 hours 10 minutes"
3pm (now): "1 hour 52 minutes"
It's just been sitting there, next to the router, charging. Hope I'll get to play with it before going to bed...1 -
Find a bug 5 minutes before you leave the office, spend 5 hours that evening fixing it unpaid. The next morning you continue how you were from 5 minutes before you left the previous day with that "my code no have bugz" vibe.
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Whoever came up with the PSD2 can get fucked up their ass by all the cocks in the world combined.
Whoever fucked up the new security implementations so bad can get fucked up their ass by all the spiked, rusty, aids-contaminated metal poles in existance.
And whoever allowed all this to happen and approved it should take all the nukes in the world, shove them all up their worthless holes, and detonate them all at once.
Fuck you.
Die in a fire.
Sincerely,
Someone who's failing harder and harder every day to not lose faith in what little good there is in humanity.9 -
Not sure if Google is surprised this happens or they really never face issues using Gradle
Edit:
Took 4 minutes to compile a basic flutter app. But it takes 1.3 minutes to compile a native app. So far liking flutter, still hating React Native tho
1 -
!dev && rant
train was supposed to come at X:44
had an announced delay of 5 minutes.
the train was **11 fucking minutes late **
fun time waiting in 0° coldness11 -
I really like my boss, but...
whenever he is in the meeting it takes instead of 5-10 minutes about 45-60 minutes.
and we have 3 meetings a day... I'm glad I can just keep working now as I am in homeoffice -
!dev
I'm always way too safe with my time scheduling. I'm right outside the building for a meeting 20-ish minutes before my 5-10 minutes early time I like to do1 -
!rant
I've finally setup a dedicated Docker box with RancherOS and Rancher... Shipyard looked nice as well (the simplicity like beautiful) but the cloud management with Rancher is amazing!
It took me minutes to install the OS, minutes to install Rancher, then on my phone it took minutes to install Jenkins with swarm support!
I'm loving this! -
haven't slept for a longer consecutive period than 10 minutes in 3 days, and that 10 minutes was achieved with 4 benadryl and cat snuggles
my brain keeps waking me up every 2-3 minutes during sleep, to full consciousness
what do17 -
I've written watchdog to restart background job runner every 5 minutes because I couldn't track why its process was randomly killed...
But hey, client had conference in 10 minutes so as long as it works... -
*puts computer to sleep*
*comes back 5 minutes later*
*touches keyboard to wake up computer*
(It's like this for over 10 minutes now...)
1 -
Is it slow ?
taliking about unit tests. I have 2746 unit tests in a project (Covering around 15% of code).
It takes around 2 minutes in local (With good PC) and aroubnd 20 minutes in a pipeline to execute.
Would you people say it's slow ?9 -
There was a time where Nvidia drivers took few minutes to install. Looks like I missed that time, eh?
Have been waiting here for at least 30 minutes and it is still "Preparing to install". Thanks Nvidia. -
Fucking visual studio and waiting 5 fucking minutes just to find out It didn't work and I need to change it and setup with another fucking 5 minutes
There must be a better way???, -
Good developers timebox themselves to 15 minutes before asking a question
How do I learn react, jsx, typescript, graphql in 15 minutes to solve my problem or figure out good questions to ask
fml , what are good career alternatives5 -
Me: Oh yes this is easy, i will fix it in 5 minutes..
*Deploys the solution to debug it*
*waits 20 minutes....*
(the message says "installation is in progress")
Just fuck you SharePoint Online.
1 -
I love how we spend 5 minutes to go about work, and use the remaining 55 minutes to chitchat at daily meetings.2
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