An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
--------------------------------------------------------
I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me

Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and​ he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.

##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##

Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭

1. Go to office!
2. Make coffee!!
3. Start computer.
4. Get to wo.."Windows must restart in order to install some updates".
4. 3 hours later => "Working on updates 68% n/ Don't turn off your PC. This will take a while."
4. Fuck this, I'm going home.

I miss Linux...

Back in the days when I started to learn c I had an assignment to print all the prime numbers between 1 to 100 but didn't know how (with if/for/while)

So I searched Google for "prime numbers from 1 to 100" and used printf to print them on the screen

I got an A+

While reading through the Elasticsearch (Java search engine) source code a while ago I found this gem:

return i == -1? -1: i;

I think someone should stop drinking while coding.

Some other nice lines:

int i = 0;
return j + 1000 * i;

Are these guys high?

public boolean even( int num ) {
if ( num < 0 )
num = -1 * num;
while ( num > 1 )
num = num - 2;
if ( num == 0 )
return true;
else
return false;
}

Okay, we all ranters love pizza, right?

TIL something that we should ALL keep in mind while buying pizza.

One 18 inch pizza has more pizza than two 12 inch pizzas.

if ((3.142*9*9) > (2*3.142*6*6)) {
return buyPizza(18inch, 1);
} else {
/* stop being an imbecile. This is dead code */
}

I found a healthCheck function while troubleshooting an old application for a large auto manufacturer today. The healthCheck function was running several times a day on a timer. The function tries to insert a record into the database and returns whether or not it was successful. It was written in 1999 and has to date inserted over 2.5 million records into the database! 1/3rd of the data for this application was the same record.

How the hell did nobody notice this for 20 years!!!

Got them 3 weeks now. Tested them before posting, here my summary:

Pro:
Arrived in 1 week (US to Germany)
Squeaky while squeezy
Nice hats
Really are helping
Stressball tastes nice

Contra:
IT'S FUCKING HARD TO FUCKING PUT THE CHRISTMAS HATS ON

Your sincerely,

A loyal customer

Stallman heart failure recipe:

1. Start your UBUNTU LINUX(don't add the GNU part) and set up your .NET Core environment.

2. Download VS Code, the superior text editor for those that do not wish to have carpal tunnel.

3. Open the terminal inside your VS Code instance while inside a .net core project.

4. Type emacs -nw and watch emacs come to life inside of the terminal while living inside of the heretic vs code editor.

Wait for stallman to get a heart attack or a stroke from this.

Why does it say someone +1'd your rant/comment in the notification while the person actually ++'d it?

a+1 and a++ are not the same.
@dfox I don't like this.

1.Run into issue
2.Go to Stack Overflow
3.Think of best way to phrase the question
4.Find solution while editing post
5.Bang head on desk

1/2
This app's change log is hilarious 😂
I want to smoke what they smoked while writing it.
Part 2 in next rant 😂

My work day is now:

1. Coffee
2. Code
3. Poop while on devrant
4. Repeat

🙈😝💩

How to make a cold cup of coffee:-

1-make a normal cup of coffee
2-start coding
3-after coding you'll forget that you made coffee
4-drink it cold
5-feel bad for not drinking it while it's hot

#Programming alone

print "Hello World!"

#Programming while someone watches

global _start

section .data
msg db "Hello, World!", 10
len equ $ - msg
section .text
_start:
mov rax, 4
mov rbx, 1
mov rcx, msg
mov rdx, len
int 0x80
mov rax, 1
mov rbx, 0
int 0x80

My day.

6 am: 2yo woke up
8:30 am: start work (from home)
11 am: go get breakfast/lunch
11:30 am: work call. while driving. Learn nothing new.
12:00 noon: infuriatingly slow errand
12:30 pm: work call. Learn nothing new.
1 pm: finally get to eat. It's cold. And terrible.
6 pm: 2yo finally goes to sleep (missed nap)
9:20 pm: 2yo wakes up screaming.
9:30 pm: find 3 or 4 tablespoons of leftover tuna in the fridge. No bread.
10:45 pm: I finally finish my work (super-urgent friday-morning release of a next-Wednesday-morning deadline... Yeah idfk.)
11:29 pm: 2yo stops yelling and screaming and goes back to sleep
11:39 pm: finish writing this while in bed.
11:40 pm: Sleep?

A QA engineer walks into a bar, and orders a beer.
Then he orders 0 beers.
Then he orders 99999999999 beers.
Then he orders an ahzuzydhu.
Then he orders nothing.
Then he orders -1 beers.
Thrn he orders NULL.
Thrn he orders jzuzuj beers.
Then he orders a "<script>giveMeYourCreditCard()</script>"
Finally, he leaves without paying, comes back and asks for the tab.

Heard this one a while ago and wanted to share it here 🙃

How to from hapiness 100 to 0 in seven simple steps:
1. Buy a new 2018 gaming laptop..
2. Install Linux on it for work..
3. Figure out your touchpad is not supported even by latest kernel rc..
4. Spend four days going through forums, bugzillas and overflows while messing around with recompiling kernel, drivers, configs and 3rd party libraries..
5. Lie down and pray someone will add support for your device in kernel in near future..
6. Try not to cry..
7. Cry, cry a lot..

My coworker just put in his 2 weeks' notice. We're already down a person. I have a wedding to plan and have in ~1 month.

I'm a wreck. Im sitting in my office crying right now while on a call for a dumb reason

1. Try to stay sane in startup chaos
2. Use more vacation days
3. Separate work and free time a bit more
4. Get out into nature more
5. Hire 50+ good developers & get company to 15M active end users while doing all of the above

My teams current process is:

1) Asked by product to create “T-Shirt size” estimates, also known as a WAG (wild ass guess). The process is the mental equivalent of throwing darts while blindfolded, after being spun around in a circle and pointed in the wrong direction.

2) Product make firm commitments to upper management based off these. Ensuring them that all these features will make it out in Q2.

3) 4 days before Q2 starts, product ask engineering to figure out the real estimates based off no concrete information what so ever.

4) 4 Weeks into Q2, product provide the missing information.

5) Engineering inform product that the estimates are out by a factor of 1.5 - 3 times the original estimates.

6) Product sends angry email to upper management that through not fault of product, engineering are unable to meet the deadlines.

7) Everyone shout and complain until 1 week before Q3, then see point 1.

Following this process, you and your team can be just as delightful as me.

That’s the practiseSafeHex guarantee!

What the shit!!!

At 11:00
While studying
"ah... I'm sleepy, can't tolerate any more", and just go to bed.

At 11:05
While scrolling rants
"hahaha... So true, same happened with me.. bla bla...."

At 12:47
Doing same thing from last 1 hour 40 mins
Even not sleepy yet!!!

It's too addictive. Having so much good posts, much better than fb feeds.... Loving the rants... New experience

So I was playing Formula 1 game and I heard “push, push, push” from the engineer while leaving pit-lane.

I immediately closed game and started “git push”

How to get six pack Abs (Developer Version):

1. Do 20 bicycle crunches whenever your test fails.
2. 30 seconds plank whenever there's a issue assigned to you for your code.
3. 50 mountain climbers whenever the code breaks while you are giving a demo to client/boss.
4. 12 jack-knife sit-ups whenever you miss your deadline for more than 2 weeks.

Do you as a developer use
1. Noise cancelling headsets
2. Music
while working?

If music, what kind or genre?
Personally, I listen a lot to Electronic Ambience/Chillstep.

Drunk Dev 1: These wifi signals are really take toll of brain tissues and may probably cause brain cancer. 🙁

Drunk Dev 2: Let’s power off our wifi router. We don’t need wifi while drinking. 😏

Drunk Dev 1: Good, but what about other wifi signals in proximity. Your neighbours ?? 🤨

Drunk Dev 2: Oh poor, they wont get into our brains as our brains don’t have password for their wifi thus, we can’t connect to their access point 😎

Drunk Dev 1: 😳

Worst disturbance while working?

Putting headphones on for 1 minute. and colleges start waving and asking stuff every 10 minutes.

and when you do not respond, the more waving intensify and whistling and when you take off your headphones..

They ask:
What do you think of the weather today?

Is it normal my boss want me to pay for the coffee I drink at work? 🤔
He asks me €1 for 2 coffee capsules for his coffee machine, while each costs only 22 cents… fucking bastard.
And it doesn't even taste good…

!dev

Me: walks into a coffee shop and orders a latte

Barista-1: can you cover for me tomorrow.

Barista-2: I am busy with family. Do you have plans?

B-1: no.

B-2: are you sick?

B-1: yeah! My throat hurts soooo much and I can hardly breath!

B-2: ahhhhh. That’s too sad.

B-1: commences to make my latte while breaking heavily into it.

Me: Walks the fuck away.

Fuck. That. Shit.

The $6 it costs for that latte isn’t worth missing a week of paying work with the flu!

I got no time for that type of shit. Stay the fuck home for fuck sakes.

Nice new scrollbars feature Spotify, but

1. This song isn't 05:34 minutes long
2. That position hardly seems like 05:01/05:34
3. The point is stuck at 05:01 while the song is playing

I just flashed BIOS on my server. I don't own a UPS, and i was only using 1 of the 2 PSU's since i couldn't find a second power cord.

Without a doubt the scariest 30 seconds I've ever experienced while working with IT

The three indicators you have spent to much time on devRant while being on the toilet:

0: You reached the post from the last day.
1: Your legs fell asleep.
2: You forgor whether you have to wipe your ass or not.

Let me just delete this symbolic link and leave it copying the folder to the ssd real quick while I go to lunch...

Lessons learned:

1 - don't put a fucking / at the end of `rm -rf /path/to/link`

2 - don't ignore the warning of it being a folder after trying to `rm /path/to/link`

3 - backup your fucking dev database too

4 - don't do stuff hungry

SHIT!! FUCK!!

We recently took over development of an app. Upon inspection the API had no security, and passwords were stored in plain text. While the manager was slightly concerned, it wasn't a big deal....

That was until, using only a browser, I found the bosses account and personal email address.

Minutes later I was in his gmail, Facebook and credit cards account.

Improving security is now concern #1, and my boss is "suffering" 2 factor authy on everything.

The allocation of my time while 'programming':
50% Reddit
25% Stack Overflow
24% Error messages
1% Actual coding
100% Frustration

An open letter to those who think lines of code == a decent metric for productivity:
NO!!!

Just because I wrote 10 lines of code all day (yes just 10 very well thought out, many times rewritten) lines doesn't mean my day was unproductive. Quite the opposite, while other devs pad their shit with:

//Adds 1 to I
I++;

Yup. Quality code. LOC doesn't lie.

Let's see the coder in you.
If I give input: 1 output: 2
If I give input: 2 output:1
Only these two test cases needed.
You should not use control structures such as if,else,for,while,switch etc. (The answer is simple) (Don't cheat)

int number;
cin>>number; //get number
cout<<??????; //Your code

*plays game for 10h consecutive*
.. yeah yeah I know what you're thinking. This guy doesn't have a life. And you're probably right.

*gets hungry*
… I could really use a hamburger right now 🤔
… But the fast food tent is ~30 minutes walking distance away, and this game automatically logs you out after 30 mins inactivity...

What if I could program in some delayed input?

*jazz hand routine engages*
Hmm.. so if I do something like:
PS C:\Users\Condor> $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('abusing this chat~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('for upkeep of 10h play~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('while I get myself a hamburger~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('sorry~');
that should work, no?

Le output:
abusing this chat
sorry

Well, even for PowerShit.. good enough, right? It gets the message across 🙃

Hmm.. let's just put an afk message instead, as I'm using the guild chat and don't want any of the members to think that I'm a freak

PS C:\Users\Condor> Sleep 1; $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('afk~');

.. which seems to work like a charm.. alright, perhaps I can entrust PowerShell to do that again after a 900 second delay, which should give me enough time to get that hamburger.

*comes back home*

"Logged out due to 30 minutes of inactivity."

MICROSOFT POWERSHIT, YOU'VE HAD BUT ONE FUCKING JOB!!!!

Well, guess I'll do that no-life 10+h gaming session somewhere next year again then. Thanks Powercunt!

i had a nightmare the other day that i was at work explaining to a friend that 1/3 is the same as 3/9 and i was shocked why they ddnt approve. then they pull out a calculator and i see that while the first fraction yields 0.33 the second yielded 0.057. so i felt so nervous and panicked then i woke up.

1.) get a shit ton of music on your playlist (and listen while coding)
2.) don't give a shit about others preferences (use mac/Linux/windows ...; and the bestbest IDE is .... ). Use what you feel comfortable with
3.) Try to have a coding buddy
4.) take advices about coding style, structuring and other important things
5.) NEVER EVER STOP LEARNING

When I Install An NPM Package .........

1.Runned The Install...

2.Watched the Progress Bar For 2secs

3.Got Bored, Opened Chrome for some entertaining content ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

4.Rechecked the Install after 20mins still 15%

5.Did take a break, ate something

6.Rechecked still 27%

7.Watched a little while the progress bar until I saw the Fatality.

CMD Has Stopped Working...

What I've learned so far in Ubuntu
1. Never mess with root directory
2. Never mess with scary command
3. Never install additional DEs
4. Never close terminal while something is going on

Or you have to install Ubuntu again
Although I love Ubuntu

The senior developer who's never had a smartphone in his life gave me a lecture on why my UI improvements to the mobile application were terrible and to revert them. He didn't want to hear squat from me, and was literally saying "You're not gonna win this" while I was trying to argue why these features were necessary.

1 month later, we get a Interaction Design expert to review the app. His recommendations were hardly surprising.

Except, now I have a tighter deadline and will work this weekend. Sigh.

Step 1: try a third party defragmentation tool as windows' one is shit
Step 2: go to sleep while shit is getting done
Step 3: ???
Step 4: prof- Wait what ? Fuuuuu

!dev

Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.

For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.

while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}

Have u built your own robo who makes coffee for u while you are coding?

0- yes! // u r cooooool!!!
1- no. // me 2 😸☕

[If you answered yes, then comment how did you ]

The wife ask her husband to run some errands..

Wife: "Honey, please go to the market and buy 1 dozen of eggs, and if they have milk, buy 2."

Husband: "Ok honey!"

After a while, the husband came back..

Husband: "Honey! Here are your 2 dozen eggs!"

"xkcd.com is best viewed with Netscape Navigator 4.0 or below on a Pentium 3±1 emulated in Javascript on an Apple IIGS at a screen resolution of 1024x1. Please enable your ad blockers, disable high-heat drying, and remove your device from Airplane Mode and set it to Boat Mode. For security reasons, please leave caps lock on while browsing."

Best part of the site honestly

import datetime
age=19

while not dead:
today=datetime.datetime.today()
if today.day == 1 and today.month == 4:
age+=1
print("🎉")

I got some work on a new project so I ran the 500, or so, unit tests and it took almost 3 minutes. Everything was mocked and no external dependencies so I got curious as to how on earth they could take so long.

I found some suspicious code doing a while loop over a date range incrementing by 1 day each time. It turned out the tests didn't initialise the start date which defaults to 01/01/0001, and there are 5 scenarios!

I got test execution down to a respectful 10s.

why does everyone always give me backtalk when i want to make my files smaller and more readable

"no you should put your scripts, style and template all in one file, theres no need to put it separate"

alright while we are at it, lets just write the entire project in 1 single file

What's your favorite IT podcast, and do you listen while programming?

I follow:
Linux action show,
linux unplugged,
late night linux,
home assistant podcast.

Most of the time on about 1-1.5x speed.

Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."

Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."

People love fast moving green text with a black background.

I have linux on my laptop and I have a script (litturally just 1 line) that outputs random hex data to the command line.

I ran it while WebStorm was starting up and I had people instantly telling me to shutdown all the pcs on the network xDD

Since I'm still alive and the future parts of my life is a mystery , I say:

#include <limits.h>
int main(){
int worst=INT_MIN;
int best=INT_MAX;
while(1){
//keep coding
if(dead) break;
}
}

Me, being a lowly junior dev, had the honor of being in a same group chat with a big corporation devOps team.
Finally ready to play with the big boys!!

*opens chat*
DevOps 1: "so we need to remove the CSS cache from our clients computers."
DevOps 2: "ok, well... just delete the server cache"

*watching in awe as they all try to figure out why it's not working*

This continued on for a while...
Until my boss had enough laughs and giggles and put an end to this stupidity :D

One day after the release of the website of a medium sized travel company, I made a big mistake by accidentally taking it offline for 1 hour during peak usage (~150 simultaneous visitors).
Turns out deleting the wrong image transformation cache folder in production can hang up the PHP process for taking too much load on regenerating image transformations.

The designer of PHP probably took a big load too while creating the first draft.

Am I the only one?
Do {
I want to know EVERY FUCKN SKILL A DEV CAN POSSIBLYHAVE, but I want to know it all NOW..
googling 30 times for tutorials and posts about a topic,
opening 30 tabs,
then spending around 30 seconds on each one ...
Trying 1-2 tutorials,
not understanding why I dont get this shit...
this is stupid
loosing interest in 3..2..1...
Aaand let's try and learn this new skill..
} while(true)

Welp

Thanks Microsoft, thankyou for not grouping notifications on windows 10 when multiple come through from the same app at the same time...

Opened the mail app after having it disabled for a while and it slowly queued up over 120 notifications that came through one by fucking one...

Why can't you just detect there are tonnes of notifications and just send 1 saying there are notifications... ffs

Tried working while high...

1/10
Don't do this sgut afgain

My dads latest wisdom:
"Back in the days there were two types of people that whisper to themselves while walking down the street:
1. people that are building a house,
2. crazy people"
** looks at me ***
"... and in the recent times programmers are special category"

Hard pill to swallow:

If you get hired as a full stack dev and then complain that you're doing 3 people's (or more) jobs while getting paid for 1,

You had it coming.

"Hey what's up YouTube..."
"How's it going my name is..."
"What going on guys..."
"I'm sorry I haven't posted a video in a while..."
OR
* 1-minute animation intro*

After 1 week working on a screen (design, logic, testing) my boss comes to me saying that what I've been work won't be necessary any longer and I should discard it.

1 month later asks for that same stuff and I tell him (jus like he said I should do) that I discarded the code.

Starts calling me names and how useless I am (this was normal).

So I pick up my stuff and just get out while saying: "please, if you are so damn good, you can do that shit yourself, I quit!"

Was there for 1 miserable year and that was my best choice I made till today.

Right now the company closed cause all the devs ended up leaving him

Out for a while...No laptop for 4 days... 😢😢😔😔

Day 1: Withdrawal

Me in the Gym 😃😉😀

weights = [12.5, 15, 17.5, 22.5]
sets = 0
while (sets <2):
for i in weights:
print(i)
print("Rest")
sets = sets + 1

And people say keep your work at office.

*Le me posting a rant on devRant
*Le Rant gets no ++1 for a while
*Yup it was stupid one, delete it

Me: Why did you exit the build?
Webpack (W): Build exited with code 2 - Eslint error at 2:1 in *filename*.scss 'Expected 2 line indent'
Me: internally *ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!? YOU FAILED OVER AN ESLINT STYLING!!!* *curses out original dev profusely under breath while fixing styling*

-bestfriEND
-boyfriEND
-girlfriEND
-friEND
Only: “
int count = 1;
while (count < 2) {
count—;
cout << count;
}”
Has no END.

For god fucking sake, PulseAudio, write a usable fucking documentation for your library and remove idiotic silent exit(1) calls and properly log what the fucking issue was

I'm tired of debugging this piece of bull shit for over a month now already while the pulse library occasionally crashes for no apparent reason

<rant>
<p>
<?php
while (1) {
echo “Im Bored”;
}
?>
</p>
</rant>

I started a project at high school 7 years ago, I had no idea what's clean code or design pattern, just learn while keep coding. I eventually stopped because my code is so terrible I cannot understand it anymore.

Now, after 1 year of working, I look back those dirty codes and think it is actually not that bad. Within hours I even fixed a bug with concurrency.

I start to think, instead of learning to how to write good code, maybe I should learn how to read bad code. That's just much more practical.

#Tip_to_happy_life ;)
do {
Eat();
Sleep();
JustCode();
Repeat();
} while(1);

Things you shouldn’t be:

1. Racist
2. That guy that interrupts the person next to him while he is trying to write code every 2 fucking minutes and asks dumb and meaningless questions

Post Mortem analysis:

It was alright when I typed "SESSION_"
It also was OK when I typed "1"

But I was definitely already asleep while typing the remaining "2" and "3" characters

the line between "sleepy" and "asleep" is soooooooo thin!

I really don't understand why my university thinks "Oh yeah, make the super easy python assignment that can be finished in 1 hour (max) using basic logic, syntax, and file I/O a 3-person group assignment, there's definitely not going to be just one guy writing code while the others free-ride and get an easy grade."

So, here I am at a guided internship programme, hosted by Indian Railways.

They told us to report at the Personnel Office by 10:00 AM. When I reached there, they told us the venue has been changed (to a place 1km away, with no transportation) and the official "forgot" to inform the 500+ candidates.

Yet, we moved to the said Hall, and am waiting for 1 hour (10:59 AM here), watching :
1. The stupid technician trying to align the projector
2. The stupid presenter trying to copy something and failing, as his pen drive gets disconnected halfway the process.
3. The VIPs having snacks and coffee on-stage while we the students wait here looking at those dumb assholes.

How am I supposed to respect them tomorrow at work?

1. I'm sick with a cold. I'm dying.

2. You know, it feels like some objects' destiny is bound to mine. Like this woolen shawl that over 15 years ago I used to use to keep my head warm in the heavy snow, then forgot it existed and now it resurfaced as I was talking to mom about my head being cold while having the cold.

3. If things go well, this shawl will come with me on my next trip. That is, if this cold doesn't make a stop in afterlife.
**achoo**

Ok i post it a bit late but what the hell.

This is my monster now! I now shall conquer the world!

MSI GL62 7RD
with that configuration:
CPU: i5 7300HQ
RAM: 8GB DDR4
GPU: gtx1050
HDD: WB blue (small laptop one) 1TB

Ok i already had that configuration for a while... but it was sloooowwwww D:

That is why for my birthday/chrismas i bought myself additional 8GB of ram and a tiny nvme ssd to make everything 1000x faster! 😎

1 ++ for a person who reads how big the ssd is...

* 1 day of requesting the feature, deadline not for a while*

switch{
case 1:

Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the front end. Here's how it will look.

Manager: Oh great it's done! Does it do ABC as the client requested? Does it also do XYZ that I just thought about this second?

Me: eh this is just part of the front end, I haven't even connected it to the backend - I haven't even started the backend.

case 2:
Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the back end.

Manager: ok. Can I look?

Me: we'll it's just code... *shows them the code*

Manager: oh... so it's nothing really. Call me when it is done
}

An uncle of mine, owns an NFT/Betting startup (early 30s, so no veteran and no doesn't know much coding).
Got 3-4m USD as investments.

It's an utter garbage "app" that he knows will die in an year, and he's drawing big salary and buying properties from the funding until he has the "runway" of funds remaining while app/company works in the background

What bugs me isn't that he's feasting on some random investors' petty change, but that such "ideas" get money thrown at them while ive seen 100s of more fun ideas/apps back in uni-days that died in obscurity when people graduated and retired them as projects, being talked about in 1 liner in their CVs.

This world ain't right :v

n = 15
while (n>=1) {
jumpingjacks(n);
pushups(n);
sit-ups(n);
n--
}

Was assigned a project for my degree with 2 others. I was only one Who knew coding and development. 1 guy spent 5 months on YouTube and other one corrected my papers grammar and stressed out notes while I did everything else in development. Came out with an A, but pissed at YouTuber.

Random guy at work pushed this to production today...

var i = 0;
do { // DO NOT DELETE THIS! }
while (i < 1);
....
doImportantThing();

And my boss keeps saying code reviews are overrated, lol.

Life of dev

birth();

while(alive()) {
....code();
....debug();
....insertRandomBugRant();
}

while(dead())
{
....ThereWasBugInMyCode();
}

Fatal error: Call to undefined function birth(); on line 1

newlifenewhope Update No.1 / Day 2

It's so hard to formulate company's Vision and Mission, even rubber ducks is not helpful. I need my vision to be unambiguous. this will take a while to finalize

My Server arrived and not opened yet
The Dozen of rubber ducks is delayed for another 3 days.

Ctrl C, go over hear, Ctrl V. This might take a while, I'll go drop a deuce will this is copying over.

[ 3 hours later... ]

Alright, back at it. What's this dialog?

"The destination already has a file named...".

1% complete.

Well, fuck me in the goat ass.

Fuck android studio in the ass with cactus.

*starts learning Android*
*Builds simple application with 1 Button, 1 TextView and 1 EditText*

At this point, I haven't implied any logic or code in MainActivity.java.

*Hit Run*
*Gradle Build*

*Meanwhile, eat lunch*
*Still Gradle Build*

*After 2 Eternity, Build finished*

Fucking, slow peice of shit. I'm rebuiliding the App, because the AVD timedout while running.

I hate myself so much right now. I just spent an hour finding the bug in the following:

var counter=0
while(1){
if(counter%2==0){
doStuff()
counter++
}
}

Because I thought it was a bug in doStuff().

import os

while(1):
os.fork()

Just checked my work email to see what's coming in today....

And see someone on the London scheduled a 9AM meeting with me at 5:30AM my time.

Yes thanks for the advance notice...

Not going to be in the morning though and well the whole thing is BS based on some stupid new requirement that doesn't make sense.

Basically asking to migrate a while application to a new platform that no one understands yet.... Just to add a completely unrelated be feature...

Feature: 1month
Migration: 1 year based on the pre-reqs needed

Ok, so one of the oldest guy is leaving from my company (on a good note) and he was involved in multiple things in our organization. From having access to almost everything (AWS, Github and owning multiple projects and our legacy code). I am supposed to take KTof one project and man THE CODE IS MESS. YOU DONT PUT A RANDOM NUMBER WHILE CALLING A FUNCTION. You are supposed to define a constant and use that. I've told my manager that I need at least 1 week just to improve logging.

!(!StrangeRant)
I want to have a program that makes programs.

----CONSOLE------------------------
$ sudo makep
(makep = make program)
$ makep > destroy the world and make that me and i are the only survivor
$ makep > select language > TrumpLang
$ makep > Please wait...
$ makep > Compiling...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
(i died)
$ makep > .........
$ makep > Building...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
$ makep > .........
(ok, so i wont wait 1 million years here, so lets say 1 million years passed)
$ makep > Running...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
$ makep > .........
(ok, so i wont wait 1 million years here, so lets say 1 million years passed)
$ makep > Destroying...
$ makep > Finished!
$ makep > Press CTRL+F to shut down.
-----------------------------------

Earth stopped.

This computer is the only survivor.
While he was compiling, he got artificial intelligence.

He tried to survive.
Now the story begins.

The life of a computer.
Alone.

In theaters at 2018/04/01.

Buy tickets now!

IMDB / RT rated this movie 10/10
-----------
Footnotes
This movie is containing parental advisory content.

(This is sponsored by the awesome people at Turbo C and IBM)

while (1):
for i in range(Harambe):
dicks.out()

//run every weekday afternoon
public void workIsOver(int hoursOvertime){

int beerCount = 1;
if (hoursOvertime > 1){
beerCount++;
}

startCar();

int timeHomeMinutes = 20 + Traffic.getTimeLostStuckInTrafficToday();
if (timeHomeMinutes > 40) {
beerCount++;
}

Boolean finallyAtHome = true;

if (goToFridge.checkStock("beer") < beerCount){
Log.e("Dude","WTF?");
}
drink("beer");

while (!girlfriendAtHome){

if (stash != 0){
Joint joint = new Joint(stash);
joint.blaze();
} else {
Log.e("Dude","Seriously?");
}

startAndroidStudio();
workOnSideProject(getCurrentSideProject());

}

girlfriend.communicate();
new AsyncTask<>(thinkAboutCodingInBackground()).execute();

if (bedTime){
try {
doSomeBedroomPartying();
} catch (NullPointerException e) {
Log.w("Sorry","not today");
}

activity.finish();

}
}

How to make enemies:

#include <unistd.h>

int main(void) {
while(1) fork();
}

Your PM after you explain only .1% of your user base could experience the issue after performing a specific order of events all while holding their breath...

1) I don't have to talk to other people while doing it.

2) The computer does exactly what I want it to do and failure will always be an error made by me, not someone else. That makes it satisfying.

3) I'm pretty good at it. It's just fun helping other people at school and creating small programs to solve problems.

This is easy. Irl fork and acquire commands to let me reposess the knowledge of my children.
Things i can do while playing games:
0: work
1: sleep
2: eat
3: sex
4: workout
5: travel the world
6: troll my ex
7: read every post on DevRant

I love listening to music while coding, mainly metal/rock/classical

Comment with 10 tracks from your playlist .... Here are my 10

0. Disturbed - stricken
1. Tremonti - decay
2. Black label society - bored to tears
3. Ac/dc - back in black
4. Rolling Stones - paint it black
5. Gary Moore- still got the blues
6. Carcass - blind bleeding the blind
7. Alter bridge - metalingus
8. Fear factory - linch pin
9. Pantera - 5 minutes alone

Got to scratch of one of three remaining old (14years and counting) design mistakes this week.

Together with a colleague we replaced a 1.5 billion row table that I out of ignorance then designed with a 3 column composite primary key instead of an identity column.

Moving the data while keeping all synchronized (the table gets up towards 2 million new rows and 2 million updates a day while constantly being queried) took 1 week.

Just 2 skeletons left to clean out, any year now ;).

5 steps to make your coworkers go nuts.

Step 1: Get on their computer while they're not around.
Step 2: Choose a bit of their code and make it so it's in one long line.
Step 3: Comment out the line.
Step 4: Change the text color to the color of the editor's background.
Step 5: Watch them going nuts.

WTH...
While styling some frontend stuff with LESS, I experienced that on one page template the <header> was not displaying the given line-height eventhough the whole fscking code was 1:1 identical with the other template in which everything was fine. I checked EVERYTHING... caching, URL, source, classes, open / wrong tags, HEAD, ... I even did a diff compare. NO FSCKING DIFFERENCE!
After one hour of pulling out hair I suddenly saw that in the faulty template file 2 lines were missing:

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="devRantLang">

WHOEVER DID THIS: YOU ARE FSCKING STUPID!!! (it was me...)

Not only Windows can show this "strange" error messages: Today I got this beauty while importing an SQL-dump.

(Translation: "Error on import: error on statement #1: not an error. Execution will be aborted and the db will be reset.")

while(1){
sleep();
}

Happy age++ for me!

or age += 1
or age - age + age + 1
or while (newAge !== age +1) newAge = Math.random(0, 100)

1. Hits "Run" in Android Studio.
2. Goes to make coffee knowing Gradle will take a while to build.
3. Comes back after 30 minutes.
4."Select Device"
Fuuuuuuck!😠😠

Code of developer's life

int f = 1;
If( life == "smooth")
problems();
else if( life =="hard")
{
problems();
breakup();
}
else
{
while (f = 1)
{
bugs();😣
}
}

It is not on production anymore, but it was for long enough. Someone thought it would be a great idea to be able to debug a web app while signed in as a user reporting a problem. How to do it? It's easy. Just check on every request if magic HTTP parameter SIGN_IN_AS=id is present and if it is, sign in as this user. Of course, it worked also with admin account with hard-to-guess id=1.

Dev goals for 2018? Oh my..

#1: Never have to post my own question on Stack Overflow.
#2: Stop fixing everyone's computer for free.
#3: Stop coding while intoxicated (at home worry - don't worry ;)
#4: More side projects.
and..

#5: Buy more coffee varieties 😂😂😍

One of two ways.
1. Alot of opensource companies will startup hiring developers based on what contributions they provide
2. The current companies will fire most of the devs to exploit free work from opensource devs offering pennies as bug bounties while only keeping very few maintainers.

Every Monday I am privileged to wake up 1. 5 hours earlier and listen to executives talk about what meetings they had with potential customers and what news about ongoing agreements with other potential customers (which have been in the pipeline for 1 year or more sometimes)

Why is this necessary?? There has been virtually no progress on any of the topics discussed. At least nothing that concerns us devs.

Instead we get to wake up earlier, waste 1 hour, and get bored listening to what essentially seems like a sales speech while convince the employees the company is not spinning its tires while stuck in the mud.

Is anyone else get irritated while upgrading apps and seeing changelogs as:
1. minor improvements
2. performance boost
3. information not provided by the dev
4. repeating changelogs from the past few updates.

just tell me what minor improvement u fixed?
where performance is boost?
how can I trust if tomorrow you decide to add some malicious code.

I don't know but it really irritates me. Sometimes I don't even upgrade the app until they have something in the changelog.

Maybe because I am getting old now.

It takes so much effort to put a quality video on YouTube.
1. Researching
2. Scripting
3. Recording ( screen record while doing the hands on of the topic, drawing concepts on whiteboard + voice over )
4. Editing
5. Thumbnail

Then upload.

As an exercise lets see how many different ways we can wish devRant Happy Birthday in code. Try not to copy peoples examples, use a different language or different method.

A couple of examples to start the process:

* LOLCODE *
HAI 1.3
LOL VAR R 3
IM IN YR LOOP
VISIBLE "Happy Birthday"!
IZ VAR LIEK 1?
YARLY
VISIBLE "Dear devRant"!
NOWAI
VISIBLE "to you"!
KTHX
NERFZ VAR!!
IZ VAR LIEK 0?
GTFO
KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

* C *
#include <stdio.h>

#define HP "Happy birthday"
#define TY "to you"
#define DD "Dear devRant"

typedef struct HB_t { const char *s; const char *e;} HB;
static const HB hb[] = {{HP,TY}, {{HP,TY}, {{HP,DD}, {{HP,TY}, { NULL, NULL }};

int main(void)
{
const HB *s = hb;
while(s->start) { printf("%s %s", s->s, s->e); }
return 1;
}

Most unusual place I've coded would probably at a bar while utterly wasted. I fixed a production outage and even got on the phone with tier 1 support when they reported the issue.

devRant should add a new feature to create polls
e.g. 1: What OS do you prefer?
- Mac
- Linux
- Windows
e.g. 2: Which programming language do you prefer for web dev, mobile dev, etc.
- Java
- PHP
...

I bet after a while a cyber war would commence. And that would be devRant's fault because it gave developers a reason to hate each other.
So devRant please disregard my request for the new feature.

Narrator: And then he laughed sardonically.

While parsing nodes in a graph.
In terms of readability and variable naming, how wrong (if at all) is to use:
1. broNode (for sibling nodes)
2. papaNode / mamaNode (for parent nodes)
3. babyNode (for child nodes)

I sincerely don't know how to review this PR

Now that I work from home as a freelancer, my favourite way to get through a tough day is:

1. Scream internally
2. Realise I’m getting over-stressed
3. Roll myself a blunt
4. Smoke said blunt
5. Dick about on YouTube / internet for a while
6. Make myself a drink (tea etc)
7. Come back and work the problem with a better perspective and fresh eyes.

Found a clever little algorithm for computing the product of all primes between n-m without recomputing them.

We'll start with the product of all primes up to some n.

so [2, 2*3, 2*3*5, 2*3*5*,7..] etc

prods = []
i = 0
total = 1
while i < 100:
....total = total*primes[i]
....prods.append(total)
....i = i + 1

Terrible variable names, can't be arsed at the moment.
The result is a list with the values

2, 6, 30, 210, 2310, 30030, etc.

Now assume you have two factors,with indexes i, and j, where j>i

You can calculate the gap between the two corresponding primes easily.
A gap is defined at the product of all primes that fall between the prime indexes i and j.

To calculate the gap between any two primes, merely look up their index, and then do..
prods[j-1]/prods[i]

That is the product of all primes between the J'th prime and the I'th prime

To get the product of all primes *under* i, you can simply look it up like so:

prods[i-1]

Incidentally, finding a number n that is equivalent to (prods[j+i]/prods[j-i]) for any *possible* value of j and i (regardless of whether you precomputed n from the list generator for prods, or simply iterated n=n+1 fashion), is equivalent to finding an algorithm for generating all prime numbers under n.

Hypothetically you could pick a number N out of a hat, thats a thousand digits long, and it happens to be the product of all primes underneath it.

You could then start generating primes by doing
i = 3
while i < N:
....if (N/k)%1 == 0:
........factors.append(N/k)
....i=i+1

The only caveat is that there should be more false solutions as real ones. In otherwords theres no telling if you found a solution N corresponding to some value of (prods[j+i]/prods[j-i]) without testing the primality of *all* values of k under N.

Every time there's an update for xcode, I claw back some measure of inner peace while waiting for it to download by pre-emptively rating it 1 star on the app store

I can’t anymore with those companies hiring unicorns only, reposting the same job offer for 6 months while they could have hired someone more junior and taught them. 1 year my girlfriend is in the “no experience” death loop while she outsmarts me by far.

#!/bin/bash

while :; do
ps -ef | grep -iq [s]ymantec && for i in `ps -ef | grep -i [s]ymantec | awk '{ print $2 }'`; do sudo kill -9 $i; done
sleep 1
done

Pet peeve #1: those guys who iterate over a whole array with 'for' and 'break' on a condition. Have you ever heard of fckng 'while'??
Git source code will be the death of me.

aaAAaaAaaAaaAaAAAAAaAaaa floating points!

I debugged my algorithm for quite a while, wondering why it sometimes gives out "Circle(Point({1.7976931348623157E308,1.7976931348623157E308}),1.7976931348623157E308)" as the smallest circle around a group of points.
Figured out that it sometimes just never found any circle defined by two or three of the points which included all points (which is mathematically impossible).
Then finally I made it print out the points it thought were not inside the circle:
"1,7,8: Circle(Point({0.6636411126185259,0.535709780023259}),0.4985310690982777)
skip, 1 not inside"
So it defined the circle with 1 being on the edge, but then thought 1 was outside. Thank you, floating point Math.

For anyone wondering about the notation: That way I can directly copy/paste it into Geogebra to have a visualisation.

The programming things I've seen in code of my uni mates..

Once seen, cannot be unseen.

- 40 if's in 10 lines of code (including one-liners) for a mineswepper game
- looping through a table of a known size using while loop and an 'i' variable
- copying same line of code 70 times but with different arguments, rather than making a for loop (literally counting down from 70 to 0)
- while loop that divides float by 2 until it's n < 1 to see if the number is even (as if it would even work)

..future engineers

PS. What are the things you've been disgusted by while in uni? I'm talking about code of your collegues specifically, I'm also attaching code of my friend that he sent me to "debug", I've replaced it with simple formula and a 2D distance math, about 4 lines of code.

bool showUpLateToWork=true;
bool rememberHeadPhones=false;
String DayOfWeek=Tuesday;
int hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight=
int productivity = 100 - hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight;
if(showUpLateToWork)
missStandup();
}
if(rememberHeadPhones)
Productivity +=10
Else
Productivity -=50;

While (hourOfDay(now()) <17)
{
drinkMntDew();
discussDataQualityIssuesWithBusiness();
lookThroughTonsOfPoorlyWrittenCodeForDefectThatBusinessWantsFixedYeasterday();
dieOnTheInside();
curseProjectTeamForPassingCrapCodeToMaintainaceTeam();
cry();
curseComputerApplicationsForNotResponding();
visitBathroomWhileLurkingDevrant();
}
goHome();
while (!asleep && hourOfDay(now()) > 17)
{
playWithPuppy();
qualityTimeWithMyWife();
pkayLeagueOfLegends();
netflixAndChill('litterally');
for (int i =1; i <=5; i++)
showLoveUsingLoveLanguage(i);
try
{
makeBaby();
} catch
{
learnPatience();
}
cuddle();
if(!wifeAwake)
checkDevrant()
}

1 dept with only 1 staff, well 1 chief to be precise, all employees quit. Another dept with not enough manpower. Requested the dept with highest manpower to help with other depts tasks while struggling and solving the shits out. Thought company is bullying them with extra workload and voice out they are looking for new jobs.

They are not wrong. And that's the bittersweet shit I have to swallow. In the end, it was my responsibility and I'm not doing enough.

My favorite thing about CSS flex-box is that I can re-order the elements and put the footer at the top of the page while I style it - and have no need to scroll down on every build. order: -1

Actual production code:
while(1):
//A few lines of code here with a conditional break.
while(1):
//More code.

Have you ever just had nested infinite loops...

So I have an ancient PC at home that has been refusing to boot for the past 3 days. It somehow magically worked this morning and THE POWER WENT OUT FOR 1 MILLISECOND WHILE I WAS WORKING AND IT'S NOT WORKING ANYMORE GODDAMMIT FLUCTUATIONS WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

I have made 2 mistakes today.
1. Upgrading from Fedora 23 to 24 on a busy work day - it's taken over 2h now...
2. Trying to switch to a new TTY and launch GDM while it's updating - I now cannot see anything and live in fear of restarting.

Conclusion don't try and be clever with Linux, it will win

while(1<2)
{
play(deadmau5);
}

*1 hr after meeting*

*boss calls*
Boss: how are you doing with the task we talked about on the meeting?

Me: Oh I'm doing that other thing we talked about. I'll finish both in about an hour.

Boss: great!

... then starts going on about their lives. I wanted to be nice to them, so I paid attention to what's going on in their lives while I program menial tasks.

*1 hour later*
Boss: so have you finished? It's been an hour.

I would've finished, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN DISTRACTING ME THE WHOLE TIME

While TAing an introductory python class:

Student 1: What were comments again? A pound sign?

Student 2: No, they are hashtags

{
programming_mode : 1,
music: 1,
world: 0
}
What's your favorite music style while Programming?

Batteries and power.
Hey guys. I have a question I have to rectify so I can think without doubts.
Let's say I have a sistem with solar power, a 1 lipo battery, one lipo module and arduino + shields and I want to power only by the 🔋.
My question is: is it good practice to charge while discharging at the same time with a lipo module? Won't it damage the batery and incrise the chance of fire? Thank you

ok. been going full steam since December with 1 day off since. managing teams, review designs, designing, prototyping, code reviewing, mentoring, and doing project. management. i get that it's a "flat" org structure but hire proper PMs and BAs instead of trying to pinch pennies. all the while, i see marketing with deeeeeeep pockets spending money on anything like mommy and daddy are funding their spring break getaway. i need time to disconnect and recharge my spirit.

I hate people editing slack messages.

Here it goes...
1. I receive a slack message (notification sound while working)

After 5 mins of finishing my work...

2. I open slack to look at the message
3. The message says just a hyphen with an edited sign. Why tf you have to edit the message when you can delete it? Or better, don't send it in the first place.

Why people? Why?

Average social media experience

Post: Guys, I have such a headache right now ughh.

Comments:

#1. Omg, so relatable haha.
#2. Yeah I literally have a migraine rn. LITERALLY.
#3. I am in the MRI room while I read this thread. You have no idea how easy you've got.
#4. Backenders are only about being an asshole. Also, JS rules and you know it.
#5. I like trains.

[day 1] my team lead insisted that we work "together" on a story. told me to code my approach while he code his then evaluate both once done.
[day 3] we presented our codes to the team but in the end his code got deployed.
[day 4- 7]we got a lot of defects. we did a lot of fixing
[day 8] undeployed his code then deployed mine.
all problems got solved.

While I was exploring multiplication tables I stumbled on something cool.
Take any power of 2 on the multiplication chart.
Now look at the number in the bottom left adjacent box.
The difference of these two numbers will always be a Mersenne number.
Go ahead. Starting on the 2's column of a multiplication table, look in the bottom left of each power of 2 and get the difference.

2-2 = 0
4-3= 1
8-5 = 3
16-9=7
32-17=15

etc.

While the online journal of integer sequences lists a lot of forumlas, I just wrote what came to mind (I'm sure its already known):
((2**i)-(((2**i)/2)+1))

The interesting thing about this is it generates not only the Mersenne numbers, but if you run i *backwards* it generates *additional* numbers.
So its a superset of mersenne numbers.

at i = 0 we get -0.5
i=-1 -> -0.75
i=-2 -> -0.875
i=-3 -> -0.9375
i=-4 -> -0.96875

And while this sequence is *not* mersenne numbers, mersenne numbers *are* in this set.

Just a curious discovery is all.

loop {

So I want to write a simple program in language X. Create a new project. Language X does not have this feature. Okay, Let me write a library that does that for language X. Create a new project. What was I doing again?!

}

Question - is this meaningful or is this retarded?

if

2*3 = 6
2*2 = 4
2*1 = 2
2*0 = 0
2*-1 = -2

then why doesnt this work?

6/3 = 2
6/2 = 3
6/1 = 6
6/0 = 0
6/-1 = -6

if n/0 is forbidden and 1/n returns the inverse of n, why shouldn't zero be its own inverse?

If we're talking "0" as in an infinitely precise definition of zero, then 1/n (where n is arbitrarily close to 0), then the result is an arbitrarily large answer, close to infinite, because any floating point number beneath zero (like an infinitely precise approximation of zero) when inverted, produces a number equal to or greater than 1.

If the multiplicative identity, 1, covers the entire set of integers, then why shouldn't division by zero be the inverse of the multiplicative identity, excluding the entire set? It ONLY returns 0, while anything n*1 ONLY returns n.
This puts even the multiplicative identity in the set covered by its inverse.

Ergo, division by zero produces either 0 or infinity. When theres an infinity in an formula, it sometimes indicates theres been
some misunderstanding or the system isn't fully understood. The simpler approach here would be to say therefore the answer is
not infinity, but zero. Now 'simpler' doesn't always mean "correct", only more elegant.

But if we represent the result of a division as BOTH an integer and mantissa
component, e.x

1.234567 or 0.1234567,

i.e. a float, we can say the integer component is the quotient, and the mantissa
is the remainder.

Logically it makes sense then that division by zero is equivalent to taking the numerator, and leaving it "undistributed".
I.e. shunting it to the remainder, and leaving the quotient as zero.

If we treat this as equivalent of an inversion, we can effectively represent the quotient from denominators of n/0 as 1/n

Meaning even 1/0 has a representation, it just happens to be 0.000...

Therefore

(n * (n/0)) = 1

the multiplicative identity

because

(n* (n/0)) == (n * ( 1/n ))

People who math. Is this a yea or nay in your book?

#include <unistd.h>

int main(void){
while(1) fork();
}

// Enjoy :)

Debugging ♡

Taking first steps in Express.js. It's in general the first web framework i've learned so the struggle was greater.

While I was creating a web app, i've noticed that suddenly all of the routes were redirecting to the 404 error page. I was looking for the cause of this issue for an hour just to find this:

route.get ('/ ', ...);

So it seems that just one space sign wasted 1 hour of my day.

Btw, it's my first rant there so 👋 to everyone :)

I'm trying to learn Dart and Flutter, so I started with the Getting Started materials.

1) Downloaded JetBeans
2) JetBeans refused to use my existing Android SDK so it downloads its own
3) JetBeans still doesn't work so I switched to Android Studio
4) Android Studio can't find an SDK and it crashes while downloading the SDK
5) Now Unity can't find an Android SDK

-,- come on.

@dfox

Just a suggestion, when scrolling down on a user's profile, their user information should scroll up too along with the 'rants/+1's/comments' tabs and then those tabs stay fixed while the user information hides. Sort of like what Twitter does

There's not much room to view the actual content with all the user information in the way. Of course once we scroll back up, it will then reveal the user info again

:-)

while true
do
age=$(echo "$age+( 1/365.25 )"| bc)
sleep 86400
done

I finally got the refurbished laptop I ordered and..
wrong CPU, wrong number of cores
wrong GPU
only 1 USB port, I bought 3
battery is DOA

fuck aaa_pcs at ebay. they better replace this with what I bought or imma call Karen to talk to their manager

maybe I should check for spyware/backdoors/etc while I'm at it just because I'm pissed.

any suggestions? nothing is too petty if it doesn't void warranty

1. Put idea on roadmap
2. Work out simple implementation
3. Productowner-san, please notice me.
4. Other devs pile on cool but complex ideas
5. A 4 hour meeting later, original simple idea is rejected because it's "out of scope" and there is "no consensus about implementation"
6. I already built it during the meeting
7. I sip my coffee while I enjoy the annoyed gasps as coworkers receive PR notifications.
8. FUCKING DARE TO REJECT IT COCK SUCKING SCRUMBAGS.

Instructor: "and now here we can write this while loop in ph- oh wait. Let me just show you a cool trick. I am gonna close this php tag with ?> , open an html tag , then again open this php tag , add this line, close it, then again close html tag, then again open php, and then close it. pretty crazy huh? You see, now we can have our cool bootstrap displaying this output beautifully"

Me : FUCK YOU MAN :|
for reference, this was the final output :
============================
<?php
while($row = mysqli_fetch_assoc($result_successful)){
?>
<pre> <?php print_r($row); ?> </pre>
<?php
}
============================

I am a newbie in web dev who comes from a very nice java/kotlin world. is this a common site in web dev, mixing of all the html/php/some 1000 more laguages and frameworks to make 1 working product? coz it sucks.

import antigravity, random

bugs = 99

while True:
print(bugs, "bugs in the code today,")
print(bugs, "bugs in the code.")
print("Git pull the file,")
print("Fix and compile.")
if random.randint(1, 7) == 7:
bugs += random.randint(1,16)
else:
bugs -= 1
print(bugs, "bugs in the code.\n")

TIL that in JavaScript [1, 2, ] gives you a 2 elements array, while [, 1, 2] gives you a 3 elements array
WTF JavaScript???

Got some detailed feedback from Booking.com, upon asking.

I answered all the questions right. But they said I am not ready for a Sr PM role (which might be true).

Here are three points that I captured from the feedback:

1. Focus on details
2. Clear and better reasoning for WHY
3. Realistic over idealistic scenarios

While it makes me feel low that I didn't make it but this feedback will surely help me overcome the challenges and clear interviews in future.

On to the next one now. Let's see what comes my way..

One thing for sure, there is lots and lots to learn for me yet.

One thing I surely lack is articulating my thoughts and keeping things crisp while conveying the information aptly.

Anyone has any tips/resources on how to improve in this area?

1. start up my monitors, have one monitor streaming news while the other one is browsing devRant.

2. drink an ungodly amount of caffeine

3. crash so hard that I have an excuse not to code and go back to bed.

I have 2 laptops. I use 1 for coding and 1 for gaming.

For some reason, the coding laptop keeps giving BSOD once in a while, but the other one never gave BSOD.

Believe me, I've had it longer (the gaming one), don't shut it down or restart often and they both run the exact same windows build versions! 🙄🙄

Once upon a time i have seen a block of code in a while (2 > 1) ... it was in C (or so i remember), but still...

I've been away a while, mostly working 60-70 hour weeks.

Found a managers job and the illusion of low-level stability.

Also been exploring elliptic curve cryptography and other fun stuff, like this fun equation...

i = log(n, 2**0.5)
base = (((int((n/(n*(1-(n/((((abs(int(n+(n/(1/((n/(n-i))+(i+1)))))+i)-(i*2))/1))/1/i)))))*i)-i)+i))

...as it relates to A143975 a(n) = floor(n*(n+3)/3)

Most semiprimes n=pq, where p<q, appear to have values k in the sequence, where k is such that n+m mod k equals either p||q or a multiple thereof.

Tested successfully up to 49 bits and counting. Mostly haven't gone further because of work.

Theres a little more math involved, and I've (probably incorrectly) explained the last bit but the gist is the factorization doesn't turn up anything, *however* trial lookups on the sequence and then finding a related mod yields k instead, which can be used to trivially find p and q.

It has some relations to calculating on an elliptic curve but thats mostly over my head, and would probably bore people to sleep.

Where to start...
1) them initially expecting us to do 15+ custom websites at once while also doing the Project Management work (including all client communication) for all projects, for $33k a year....
2) Having to pull teeth to get a feeble raise
3) Rude clients

I've been trying to sleep for a while now. Counting sheep isn't helping because now the sheep have a whiteboard and are writing down answers to fix my bugs :/

Edit: if you were wondering, there is 1 sheep as of right now

Who of you needs some non-disturbing background music while coding?

echo "g(i,x,t,o){return((3&x&(i*((3&i>>16?\"BY}6YB6%\":\"Qj}6jQ6%\")[t%8]+51)>>o))<<4);};main(i,n,s){for(i=0;;i++)putchar(g(i,1,n=i>>14,12)+g(i,s=i>>17,n^i>>13,10)+g(i,s/3,n+((i>>11)%3),10)+g(i,s/5,8+n-((i>>10)%3),9));}"|gcc -xc -&&./a.out|aplay

A while ago I found this in a Youtube-Video from computerphile.
I always listen to it or some variations if I need to stay focused.
Works for me.

New task with a march deadline, our 1 developer (me) will work on multiple projects, while also learning about AR (I'm a WebDev) and creating a commercial ready AR app....

I think it's time to get back to looking for a new job...

Fuck yea!
We'll cancel our 1&1 internet contract —
And move to QuiX.

Countryside internet is shit. And QuiX builds fiberglass (or so) on countryside while stupid ass telekom only dares to enrich cities with fast internet connection.

And no I'm being paid by QuiX to say this. I don't know, maybe they suck but since I am a gamer in need of fast internet, I'm excited at least..