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🦫Me a kid: I hope some day I will earn enough $ to by a cool-ass PC and play games on highest graphics presets
🤡Me an adult: I sure did earn enough $ to afford a cool-ass PC though it is a shame that I cannot find time & energy to play games9 -
🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.
Translation
🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.22 -
Everything in application is aligned to right
🤡 Can you alight text in that form to the left
Me: Why? All forms have text aligned to the right.
🤡: It looks better
*Add !important*
A couple weeks later, a new BUG is assigned to me by the 🤡
"This form has text aligned to the left, while all other forms have text aligned to to right"10 -
Wtf Microsoft...
Found out the hard way that copying a line of code from Teams chat will sometimes convert the spaces into unrecognized ASCII char.
Spent a few hours yesterday to fix the bad chars.
🤡👍16 -
With all this emoji code bullshit flying around in here.
I thought I would test my luck and make what I think would be the worst possible end result of this.
<?php
define("😂","God help me");
define("🤡",100);
for($🍔 = 0; $🍔 <= 🤡; $🍔++){
echo 😂."\n";
}
?>
This will execute and run on PHP7.1 😱
Now let’s all band together and kill emojicode before it becomes a thing we will regret!11 -
Literally all they see is design.
Users can't make or receive payments across the entire app? Ah, who cares! Much more important is the color and fading animation on that button!!!!
Absolute clowns, I swear.
🤡4 -
"our placeholder shows an @ symbol, but please don't use an @ symbol!"
i'm so happy knowing that the devs and designers who created this app are earning 20x what i am
🤡🌎
6 -
Recruiter Email: We need experience in Doker!
Dev: I could potentially be interested, what is this new technology? I've never heard of Doker!
Recruiter: It's not super new, it's the traditional Doker! You know, good ol' Doker!
Dev: Like Poker? Or Joker? 🤡
Recruiter: What?
Dev: What?9 -
These clowns make my blood boil.
fullStackClown: Hey I need some info on that specific color you want for this design
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this <<sends screenshot>>
fullStackClown: That is not a color, it is a screenshot
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Do you know what hex code that is for that color? Can you ask the design team what color from our corporate identity they used?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Not helping... okay fine I used the eyedropper and I see the hex code is not used anywhere else in our app, so what color should I use?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: ...22 -
I love when job postings are like, you will use THIS tool, and THIS is how it will be accomplished!!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
bitch, i'm the senior engineer, I should be the one picking and choosing tools to match your needs, not you and HR pals!
no wonder your job offer still isnt' filled!
i'd love to ask these organizations why they chose such boomer technologies in the first place and why there is no effort to change to much more developer / user friendly tools.... just a red flag from the start11 -
Absolute asshat level clownly clownshipness:
Manager: Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: ...Because you defined the feature like this.
Manager: Hmmmmm ok... what about this? Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: ...Because you defined the feature like this.
Manager: Hmmmmm ok... and then this thing here? Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: Well, I hate to tell you, but it's a huge surprise. Guess what?! BECAUSE YOU DEFINED THE FEATURE LIKE THIS!!!
Manager: ... 🤡
fullStackClown: Any other absolute asinine questions to ask me to continue breaking me from flow?
Manager: ... 🤡
fullStackClown: ...
To those interested, I believe there is an evolution of my devRant career in order... I'm passing the clown phase... and entering the full-on circus phase...9 -
Managers: wE wAnT tO bE LeAn aNd MoVe FaSt As PoSsIBLe wiTh NeW FeAtUrEs
Same Managers: Can you make this icon 2 pixels smaller?! Shift this element left?! Swap out this icon?! Use a different color here?! A perfect feature and design is critical!!!!!!
FullStackClown: You can either be lean and fast, or be fucking nitpicking clowns 🤡 about this stuff and slow us all down. Choose one.
Managers: ...
FullStackClown: Sit down and shut up7 -
potential new client, immediately says:
"we have to get this website to number 1 on google as fast as possible!!!!!"
god why is it always the same
i'm tempted to ask, "great, no problem, do you have thousands to spend?"
i already know what the answer is
🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡11 -
Consequences Associated with Burnout:
- sleep deprivation ✅
- change in eating habits ✅
- increased illness due to weakened immune system ✅
- difficulty concentrating and poor memory/attention ✅
- lack of productivity ✅
- poor performance ✅
- avoidance of responsibilities ✅
- loss of enjoyment ✅
Have I just been burnt out and living it as my norm for the past 5 years? 🤡3 -
I'm officially CTC.
Chief Technical Clown 🤡
How do I know? I've yet to write a single line of productive code today. I've spent the day purely as an administrative cog: writing emails, giving data to consultants, supporting juniors, and cleaning up the absolute hellscape that is also known as our Jira project.
I've become exactly what I hate.12 -
Managers on Slack at 08:30: Hey frontendJunior, can you accept that meeting for 09:00?
frontendJunior: * No response *
Managers: * Clueless why nobody would see a ping literally 30 minutes before a meeting *
Fullstackclown, watching it all unfold: lol 🤡6 -
lol someone went systematically through my posts and downvoted each of them, i'm down like 200 points from weeks ago
imagine caring that much
"he who angers you controls you"
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡20 -
Managers: fullStackClown!!!! The image uploader on the dashboard at <insert 3rd party service here> isn't working!!!!!
fullStackClown: Yeah? What do you want me to do about it?
Managers: Well, fix it!
fullStackClown: ... * sigh * Well, in case you didn't realize, I don't work at <insert 3rd party service here>, so... unless you want me to go work for them instead of you absolute clowns (which I dream about daily), I cannot help you further in this matter.
Managers: ...
fullStackClown: ...
Kill me. 🤡6 -
Talent Acquisition/HR: 🤪
Dev: 🤪
Technical Interviewer: 🧐
Dev: 🧐
Hiring Manager: 🤡
Dev: 🤡
This strategy has yielded some dishearteningly successful job application results this week.6 -
"5 Ways I’m Using AI to Make Money in 2023" ok let's see... ah a members-only Medium post...
yep thats definitely one of the ways -_-
fuckin kill me i hate this11 -
I've capitulated and started applying for jobs again...
you'll probably being see me around here a lot more...
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡11 -
I SENT YOU THE EXACT SIGNUP URL ON NETLIFY
I TOLD YOU STEP BY STEP WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, AND HOW I CAN TRANSFER THE SITE TO YOU
AND NOW YOU COME TO ME COMPLAINING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND??!?!?!?!
fucking toxic clients I swear, never again
this is what I get for doing something for free for an acquaintances friend
if you can't handle ownership of your own website, maybe get the hell out of the internet
🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡9 -
"LeT's uSe gRaPhQL!" They said.
"It EliMinAtEs cOmpLeX aNd vErBoSe REST coDe!" they said.
Me sitting here for hours waiting for the backend team to fix major regressions every time they push the smallest "updates" to staging... 🤡
Call me a boomer but I can't help but feeling graphQL makes things MORE complex than REST... either that or the backend devs have no idea what they are doing17 -
Fun is, when you get to fix the front-end made by a "front-end expert" consisting of bootstrap and a single "custom.css" of 3800 lines.
Peak sadism. 🤡15 -
Are you a iOs developer/Android developer/graphic designer/web developer/3D artist aged 18 - 30? Are you fluent in English, both written and spoken? Well, that's nice , Good day 🤡1
-
If I hear the word "techie" one more time from management, I'm gone lose my shit!!!
I don't go around calling them "managies" all day!!!15 -
ooooo managers have sent me a meeting for a solo standup with them on monday, i'm shakin' in my boots!
they're probably angry i already worked 50+ hours this week and took today off at short notice yesterday
clowns. 🤡6 -
Oh man, today just gets better and better...
Manager: * Creates ticket, which has a link to a shared pdf, with each page being a link to another ticket in our JIRA with unrelated bugs of what we are currently working on. *
fullStackClown: I'm closing this ticket and putting this feedback in the original ticket that I assigned to you to review days ago.
Manager: Rages like a little baby and removes my access to said shared pdf.
fullStackClown: Welp, looks like I'm done for the day! Cheers!5 -
do you have a GREAT eye for design?!
can you write a bubble sort algorithm in binary?!
do you know native, desktop, embedded, AND web programming languages?!
do you know you can go fuck yourselves?!
good luck unicorn searching 🤡 companies. there is no human that can do all of those on a level that you want. but, go ahead and set yourself up for failure. i'll remain firmly grounded on planet earth 🌎6 -
Took a headoverheels digger on my bike today, groceries went flying, chinos even ripped on the asphalt, first thing this lady bystander says is RAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS A PEDESTRIAN ONLY STREET!!!!!
I'm like no it's not, look at the sign
nO iTs BeEn WrITtEn FoR 2o YeArS, pEdEsTriAnS onLy!!!!!
sure enough at the end of the road, says pedestrians AND bikes allowed... 🤡🤡🤡🤡
stupid bitch, if you're gonna be a bitch at least be right about it
honestly i'm not sure how people navigate through the world, just floating around, no REAL knowledge or consideration of anything, just ideas, hype, and idiotic "feelings"6 -
"The time spent on the assignment should not exceed 8 hours."
nice, so a full working day just for an interview take home task
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡13 -
What's worse than putting out fires all day?
Going to check on and put out fires but then realizing they don't exist because management is incompetent.
#clowndrivendevelopment 🤡6 -
Task estimated for 2 days
*Half day later*
🤡 : Have you done it?
Me : No, I told you it would take 2 days
*Day later*
🤡 : Have you done it? Do you need any help?3 -
Remember that 'solo standup' I was 'shaking in my boots about'?
Should have started at 9:30
Yeah, well its O9:40... the managers aren't even here yet...
So much respect in this team!
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡5 -
if you're unemployed you can't get a house in 1000 years
but hey, there's good news
if you're employed you can get a house in 100 years14 -
i'm feeling so sick right now.
PM invited team for today to present his "vision": "<name of our component>: what it is and what it is not".
but it didn't make sense and showed that he hadn't understood the problem at all. the whole architecture made no sense given the problems that shall be solved. his architecture diagrams missed some essential parts that were actually the giant weak points of his concept. his pseudocode, that should exemplify interactions between components, didn't address the complexity of required interactions at all. it's like he expects some magic to happen and has no fucking clue about the requirements (but acts like it), even though he is the manager of this software project.
and when devs ask really interesting questions that fundamentally question his concept, discussions lead to nowhere and questions are not answered. at some point he literally said "there is no such thing as <name of our component>, i still have to find this out"
really!? after one and a half year, since you sold the idea for this component to upper management, and after half a year of development, you still can't tell what it is what we actually want to build? are you fucking serious?!
at some point in discussion he said that these questions need to be answered but that "there's no time left", and he ended the meeting. although there was still half an hour of meeting time left.
i'm so fucking sick of this, i hate everything right now. i can't listen to this bullshit any longer. in discussions, he contradicts himself all the time, it is so fucking surreal i'm starting to feel like i'm insane.
it makes me really sad and tired. i don't want to care about this shit any longer.14 -
We don't know what one-to-many is! Instead, we convert all associated IDs to a string and join the list into a string separated by commas! Only after this absolute clownery do we save this new nice clean string to the database column! Then, when we want all associated entities, we serialize this list back into an array of IDs and retrieve them! It's clown-genius!
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡17 -
remember, to them, we're just cogs
easily replacable machine parts
meanwhile they're "extremely special" because they've thought of the next 10 iterations of microsoft fucking excel
"HR tech startup" give me a fucking break dude5 -
Managers: * send meeting to my calendar *
Fullstackclown: * sees email * Much obliged, I'm happy to... wait a sec... this calender meeting is for 4:30 PM... TODAY! ...and they've sent this at 4:47 PM?!?!
Managers: FULLSTACKCLOWN!!!! HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT MEETING TODAY?
Fullstackclown: lol
#beclowngetclowned14 -
Today's 🤡 task: figuring out how "localhost:3000" snuck into one of the critical production links...
FUUUUUUUUU
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡16 -
Clowns approaching from all sides, preparing to batter our hero, fullStackClown, with their absolute and unyielding clownshipness...
🤡 🤡🤡
🤡 👨💻 🤡
🤡 🤡🤡
how will he make it out of this one?!?!?!
Tune in next week to find how our hero, fullStackClown, escapes unscathed!7 -
My god, the managers don't even know their credentials to the Bitbucket account that THEY created!!!
🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡
Let's just hope they're not locked out for good... now THAT would be some grade-A comedy!1 -
that really killed me today when i sat in the office
how good can you rant with your colleagues? i don't think i would survive long without this kind of therapy xD
2 -
"we will also consider skills in other production languages, such as Haskell, Clojure, OCaml, Rust and C++"
ah, of course, the classic "production" languages. wouldn't want to be using those other "developing" or "staging" languages... 🥱
i swear, the 🤡 count increases by the hour.24 -
imagine your ego being more important than doing something the right way
welcome to corporate hell
this is one of the top reasons (but of course definitely not the ONLY reason) i'll never join the rat race
would rather be a homeless 🤡 (slowly succeeding in this one)4 -
You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?
I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.
what even is ticket linking??!?!?
what even are tickets??!?!?!
or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!
I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡
7 -
first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)
four of them still have "to be defined" labels
so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
HOW
FUCKING
HARD
IS
IT
TO
DOCUMENT
HOW
YOUR
LIBRARY
WORKS
ONE
EXAMPLE
FOR
A
FUCKING
POSTGRES
CLIENT
LIBRARY
IS
NOT
SUFFICIENT7 -
so management decided that the PM/PO/SM role has to be split and that SM shall be done by someone else.
PM in retro: so i will give away this role because i cannot fulfill all roles adequately, not because of missing skills, but because of missing time. this is also why i couldn't finish my development task for this sprint. so, someone of you guys has to do the job. i expect the future SM to be always available for me in the morning and the afternoon, so due to timezone shift this has to be someone from the German colleagues. I will have to explain to that person what exactly I as a PO expect from the SM and the SM will have to follow this guideline. also, being SM is no excuse for not delivering your stories, it just takes very little time.
...i don't need to comment on this at all, he already makes a perfect clown of himself 🤡7 -
JUST ONCE DOCUMENT YOUR FUCKING LIBRARY!
FUCKING CLOWN!
FUCKING IDIOTS!
YOU RUIN MY DAY, MAKE ME WORK 12 HOURS A DAY, TO RESOLVE SUCH BASIC FUNCTIONALITY
YOU FUCKING CLOWN!!!!!!!!!
I'D BETTER DELETE THE ENTIRE APP AND START FROM SCRATCH, WOULD BE EASIER THAN USING YOUR SCUM OF THE EARTH PIECE OF SHIT LIBRARY4 -
BREAKING NEWS
A single full stack clown is far too forgiving for this world...
i'm now....
A FULL STACK CIRCUS!!!
🎟️🎪🤹♂️🎭🎡🤡12 -
At a large enterprise-sized company, you are protecting the code and product from outside / bad actors constantly trying to break in. (🧠)
At a medium or small-sized company, you are protecting the code and product from clueless customers or users who can potentially break things for themselves. (🧠🧠)
At a sTaRtUp, you are protecting the code and product from being destroyed by the incompetent owners themselves. (🧠🧠🧠+)4 -
i HATE snake oil idiot types
red flags:
- "interested" in tech but have no programming experience or knowledge, no real work experience
- they claim they can provide assistance and guidance to people in machine learning!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
- private instagram, weird
- spent all their money on their instagram profile picture, looks like those dumb finance gurus with a lambo
- is, in reality, unemployed
what value do you provide to society?
really its just people who are good at talking and can convince other people of equal or lower (not higher) intelligence but not really can't DO anything
and they wonder why so many companies fail
what a fucking joke i hate you
its really not just annoying its immoral - and thats the part i despise so much
grow up, put in some work, and be valuable to society5 -
potential client, wondering why i don't answer any of his messages or calls: "I hope I haven't done anything wrong!?"
yeah dude, continually calling me MULTIPLE times after 5PM on friday (second friday in a row) is one way to "do something wrong"
these "business" types know no bounds
2 -
Why use google calendar?
Get you a micromanager!
Always the same with these f**** 🤡🤡🤡s
Congratulations, you've earned yourself a spot in the STOP category on next week's retrospective! 🖕
4 -
hey google, make my life harder. let's have an SDK version, then a corresponding android version, and finally a clown name like cotton candy or oreo or whatever so I always know exactly what version I'm working with without confusion 🙄🤡1
-
how often does it happen that you have to prevent terrible architectural decisions from being made, because people who are in charge but obviously have no clue, make really weird suggestions and are really confident that this is a good idea?
PM: so please analyze functionalities X with dev Y, since module Y that dev Y develops shall provide these functionalities.
me: as i said yesterday, module Y will use my module X and shouldn't care about how this is going to be implemented.
PM: yeah, but module Y shall be able to... (lists some functionalities)
me: yes, that's what i'm currently working on in module X. my current state of the API can be used in a way that... (lists different low level functions and how a combination of them can be used to provide these functionalities)
PM: okay, hmm... i just realize that module Y will actually be a user of module X...
well.... yeah?!!
i always thought that was crystal clear?? 🤦♀️10 -
I love that its 2024, and yet sometimes you still have to delete the /bin and /obj folders from a C# project to remove build errors that are in fact, not build errors...
...and people here hate node.js / npm
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
but come on down in the comments all you C# worshippers and please enlighten me what I am doing wrong... definitely couldn't be C# right?
also explain why 'clean' must not REALLY mean clean 🤡20 -
Well, this one I HAVEN'T seen before. I'm officially getting emails from recruiters addressed to someone else's name
Today, apparently my name is Mateus.9 -
Today teaching the product managers what the channel in "selected for development" in Jira means.
Guess what? IT MEANS THE FEATURE IS READY TO BE DEVELOPED ON, NOT SOME HALF-BAKED CROCK POT IDEA WITH A TWO-SENTENCE DESCRIPTION DESCRIBING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL!!!1 -
Love being contacted by a consultant.
At 7PM.
Via WhatsApp.
Becuase they recently "migrated to gmail" (wtf does that even mean?!?! it was their reason why I didnt get their email)
I fucking hate zoomers, please kill me, i have made a mistake working with these clowns
🤡5 -
when you run lighthouse on some tech "guru" with 50K subscriber's website and can laugh when they don't even have alts on images
hahahahahahahaha clowns
to be brutally honest, you need to know the basics before attempting to teach anyone anything, i don't care how boring it is
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡15 -
seen on hacker news:
"I have applied to 600 software dev jobs in 2/3 months and have had around 8 interviews but still no dice.
reply"
jesus i'm going to give up now. i'd rather be homeless than mindlessly wasting my time12 -
need to schedule a call with a guy from another branch at work. i tell him that because of the time zone shift, i can do earliest around noon his time (and that's being generous, thats really early for a dev my time)
and of course, what does he turn around and do? sends me a meeting for 3 AM...
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
i can't be the one with mental illness right?
perhaps the thing to do is just go around being so fucking ignorant you're just blissfully happy at all times6 -
digital lock is broken so I'm locked outside the office. I'm the first to arrive by an hour gap, so I'm here waiting for maintenance to let me in 🤡🤡🤡11
-
just so you know, $25/month is NOT a pay as you go plan - its a $25/month plan
why the hell would i pay for $25 a month on top of my usage charges
fuckin 🤡s4 -
you wanna know what the most hilarious shit is? hackernews users AKA the 6 figure startup bros that "rule the world" in terms of code and software...
trying to argue the best way to build a website 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
here's some select quotes:
"I believe the most minimalistic and productive way is to just use php"
^ this guy must not know its 2023 now
"Unless you are a web developer I don't see the point of a CSS framework, it's much easier to roll your own."
^ this guy must not know the pain and suffering that is 'rolling your own' in CSS
"Sadly, I just don't have the time to generate the content I wanted to do, so the site sits."
^ this guy just... wait, what?
but you know what? these guys clearly know WAY more than me in terms of software, it's good they get infinite salad bar and prime rib every day at silicon valley's best and brightest!
please fucking kill me i want it to end16 -
I just auto charged myself because I forgot I tested my 7 day trial in production last week
🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡3 -
Some people would rather post idiotic minion gifs than help find the truth in GitHub threads.
But that's the world we live in.
Army of 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡1 -
alright, i give up
i'm just going to have to work the rest of my life
the government takes nearly half of everything you do anyway.
income from your saas? taxed.
risked and stressed earned profits from intraday trading? taxed.
money chilling getting interest in a savings account? taxed.
your 50+ hour work week salary? taxed.
but don't worry, houses start at an affordable 500K
🤡11 -
Framework propagator clowns often tell me dOnT rEiNvEnT tHe wHeEl 🤡
Bitch, F1 car wheel and shopping cart wheel are not the same. I will reinvent the wheel every time, and it will be perfect for the job.7 -
Today my boss told me to work more properly, because the massive feature I'm working is only halfway done.
Well thank you very much, obviously it's only halfway done yet. I'm responsible for the backend and the development for the frontend started today, by another guy who was working on another stuff until now. And I'm pretty sure we agreed that I will only do the backend...
Thanks for the uncalled critique. Great way to make me feel like my work is not appreciated. This motivated me very much to work the whole on the integration.2 -
>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n
en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}
“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”
Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!
Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.2 -
Ticket: We were able to get the site launch, but we lost some functionality on x. Can you fix ASAP?
Not a single url, didn't even know they were going to launch, or where. There must be an achievement for this. 🤡4 -
And on today's schedule, we'll be teaching the managers how to use a new dashboard, because not only do they not understand tech, they don't understand life!
waaaah_waaaah_waaaah.mp3 🤡2 -
no fucking documentation
no fucking explaination
and your example doesn't even work
let's just run around in circles until we all die
waiting to exit this 🤡 world
yeah, i know, everyone is like "why can't you chill more"
because this what we are stuck doing 8-9 hour a day!!!!!! this is literally our lives just wasting away!!!! and it's not even fun anymore; you can't enjoy it if everyone is so fucking incompetant any step at being productive is fucking battle
god so sick of it4 -
Another day, another time exporting svgs from Figma, sizing them, and exporting them to png into our app as the developer.
But no, I get it, what designers do is extremely taxing on the brain and any additional steps must be excruciating! Let me do anything that requires even the lowest of double-digit IQ! After all, I'm your local resident full stack clown™️!
🤡4 -
Hey GitHub Idiot No Need To Write Capitalized Issue Requests Like This It Makes You Look Incompetent We Are Not Working In .NET Here On GitHub
just absolute 🤡11 -
PM: this is our super fancy new CI/CD pipeline, it's the greatest. i expect you to learn and understand all this in no time.
devs: so i have to spend some more time on this topic because it's completely new to me and requires some learning...
PM: nooo, that's a super easy task with zero effort, my braindead hamster can do that in no time, so can i, and so can you! let's assign 1 story point for that.
~ 3 months latèr ~
also PM, after he has started developing as well: so i'm realizing there are many things that i have to learn, and it takes me some time. i haven't developed with C++ and <other tool stack> for a longer time. by the way, you guys don't need to check for any quality right now, we need to deliver fast. it's okay, when you have memory overflows, your code is completely crappy, poor architecture or memory overflows, it doesn't matter.
he even has a subtask for migrating his code from VS project to our new project structure, since he refused to learn our pipeline right from the beginning and created VS project instead. シ why is this a subtask? this job can be done in no time, my left vanishing twin named Klaus who has dislexia and hates vim can solve this task in 20 seconds!!!!11
(and still no PR, not even a feature branch in our repo)2 -
i've built a profitable full stack SaaS application, from scratch, by myself, that requires 0 maintenence
and you dont think i have the skills required to hire me?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡14 -
hey
if my udemy course is too complicated for you
no reason to give it a shitty rating
you're just an idiot11 -
So this dev writes me an email following a blog post I wrote for their job that they "have an error" - they don't show any output, what the error message is or anything. How can I help if you dont specifically state your problem? I'm not going to do your job for you!
and now its finally come full circle: they said they asked chatgpt and bard but it "just didnt work" - well yeah, those were trained on internet content from over a year ago - the api and tools have changed!
painful and annoying times ahead i'm afraid
you still need to do the damn work, i will stand by the fact that LLMs are overhyped non-panacea till i'm dead3 -
A beautiful gem ticket from a manager today:
Title: "Check Stripe "Snippet APK" that might help for integration into the app to track pricing easily."
Alright, it's very clear this particular individual has no idea what they are talking about, but, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and read the ticket description!
Description: "I think stripe offers some sort of snippet that can be implemented into the app similar to FB pixel. (I could be wrong here..) let’s briefly check this, if it’s of value for our A/B-Tests → e.g. if it makes your life easier = good otherwise it’s not important."
...
I might as well replace the management team with GPT-3 at this point.
Or even just a simple Markov chain; that'd probably be more accurate if you want to match the ticket quality more exactly of this ABSOLUTE PILE OF HORSESHIT WASTE OF TIME I GET FED EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.
🤡4 -
and the saga continues...
the plans i had for the morning have been cancelled... and now I'm awake for nothing 🤡
what a day2 -
nobody in my team works at my location. they are all at different sites of the world.
can i have the option to work 100% remote please?
my company:
no :-)
oh, it is soooo hard to recruit new team members :-) what in the world could we possibly do??5 -
Job hunt update:
- Rejected by one via email
- Applying to two more today
- Ghosted (?) by the other 5 so far
but hey, it's only been over two weeks for those 5 others! why should i expect efficiency from a company that wants a TeN X DeVeLoPeR? I'll bring my decade+ experience and you can just get around to it... you know, when you feel like!
🤡5 -
God why do I even log in anymore...
Just seen on LinkedIn: "Some exciting news will be shared soon. Stay tuned. 🎉✨"
Dude, literally not a single sad fuck gives two shits about your dumbass fake garbage. Just stfu
Maybe if you spent more time building product than posting on LinkedIn, you'd make some headway.1 -
jesus christ is there a single pdf editor where i don't have to pay some money to use for something i could download from github right now
🤡🤡🤡13 -
another day another downvote to 0 on a stackoverflow post of a bug that is confirmed and reproducible
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡7 -
On A privacy research focused Hackaton, my team lead got up, and said:
Our group is going to look at porn sites privacy issues! and @magicMirror is going to lead that effort!
And went on to say Porn+@magicMirror in every sentence. Very loudly.
fukin 🤡.9 -
I just love ultra high priority tickets that have been in the backlog for literal years.
So logical.
So amazing.
So 🤡-like.
Happy Friday!4 -
Jest? It's the perfect name for a testing library, because I certainly feel like a clown! 🤡
#clowndrivendevelopment4 -
Original spec of feature: 5 page document
Review of feature: 20 page document with surprise things never mentioned in original spec
"fullStackClown!?!?! how could you miss this?!?!"
🤡5 -
Just realized the only true holiday I've taken in the past 18 months was 3 days for Thanksgiving last year and 3 days for Thanksgiving this year.
I can't imagine why I'm so stressed and rage so much.
I'm my own 🤡 -
the real truth is that web dev has been running around in circles on itself for over a decade now
"but every framework is 'new' and 'shiny'!!!!"
nah, just more sugar on the same exact concepts that have been around since day 17 -
Been getting a lot of troll / clown / clueless (?) comments on my posts recently. Select favorites include:
"Why do you have a login form on your website?" wut
"Why didn't you throw away that API key?" wut
"Why do you even need to access your apps' servers?" wut
There are just SO many amazing devs here who have NEVER had do any of those things, I'm quite literally an idiot and don't know what I'm doing, sorry for my ignorance. I'd forgotten that there is only exactly one way to build software, I wish I'd done it "that" way sooner! Foolish me.
Really not sure if trolls, clowns, or clueless. Don't care. 🤡🤡🤡12 -
I can’t remember shit
My code editor helps me a ton!!
I have most documentation offline.
Ask me to do shit in a job interview without Google or any reference material then the joke is on 🤡2 -
Interestingly enough, the worst JavaScript code I’ve ever had to deal with was written by back-enders coming from a Java background. The app was unusable and it took me a few weeks to put it back on track.
So is JS the culprit, or is it the elite backend community that fails to even try to make good use of it? 🤡2 -
something like a 3.96 undergrad GPA
ivy league masters degree + scientific publication
first job -> $4500/month for first 3 months (some dumbass 'intern' rule even though i had a masters -> then $6000 -> then $6400/month (insane amount for me, at least IMO)
second job -> $4000/month
third job -> $3600/month
in each one, skills and responsibilities increased
and now i can't get hired 🤷♂️
pretty sure i did it all backwards
just remember kids, nothing that society tells you is actually true. everything in the corporate world is controlled by emotions and narratives, not logic, hard work or anything actually valuable
just get that cozy 9-5 and kill all your hopes and dreams before they start5 -
NODE 18 MOVES INTO MAINTENENCE TOMORROW
...do you know where your legacy software is?
This was a free public service announcement brought to you by your favorite 🎪🤡🤹♂️6 -
I'm learning today from the big brain managers that elements on our mobile app are "clickable".
Truly amazing, I wonder which of our users are plugging a mouse into their phones and using it to click around.
incompetent 🤡3 -
Wow, very technical and clear documentation:
"While we do not publish the symbol limits for the streaming API, we do monitor for abuse to make sure people aren’t doing anything egregious. Essentially, ask for what you need. Don’t abuse the APIs and you should be fine."
...and, we all know what 'fine' stands for, right?
🤡2 -
on dev rant, "web idiots" = people who are way better than me at web dev. they're better than me at that so therefore they are bad. me monkey brain feel safe. ooga booga!
this site should just be called InsecureRant11 -
huge confession bear...
i just learned what set -e does in bash
i've been using logical and (&&) this whole time
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
i have become what i hate 🤡🤡🤡12 -
Annual inflation rate = 9.2%.
My annual salary increase = 5.5% (from my meager salary as junior)
Thanks management 🤡👍6 -
Day 1. Push branch. Make pull request😀
Day 5. Got reply to fix some silly stuff🤡
Day 6. Apply changes. Ask for review again.😊
Day 7. Needed to work for another project for two weeks🤝
Day 25. Came back and pull request and branch were deleted from server 🧐🧐
Day 26. I merge my local branch copy into master and push it to server. So long bitches! 💅💅6 -
Java errors: if something is underlined in red in the IDE then it is a real error for sure
TypeScript errors: if something is underlined in red in the IDE then 50% of the time it is some 🤡 sh*t2 -
wow. truly revolutionary. AI will end world hunger, solve cancer, and so much more
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
6 -
Hours spent engineering and writing software (having fun) today: 1
Hours spent CTCing (Chief Technology Clowning) today: 7
☠️2 -
Making calls, meetings, and "brainstorming" half-baked features or designs or any other slop bullshit for 12 hours a day?
Wow, you are an impressive "startup bro"!!!
Coding, testing, running emulators, tests, reading technical documentation, ensuring product success in the real world, and implementing efficient full stack software for 12 hours a day?
Fuck you!!!
These are the expectations of management. Just remember, what they do is "extremely difficult", but you are simply just a resource queue that takes input and converts it to real-world implementation.
Give me a fucking break -
PTSD flashbacks of the 🤡s wanting us to change every subscription price less than 24 hours before a major release that would be the live version after we aired on national television...
management at its best folks. remember, your time doesn't matter, only theirs, it's way more "important"
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡3 -
you know whats wild? they're talking of AI taking of the world
and meanwhile we still need to fill out and send copies of pdfs everywhere to get things done
🤡5 -
best advice i know
get both into programming and body building.
"you're such a nerd for using linux 🤡" well yeah but do you see this huge biceps?
"you're not even that strong 🤡" well yeah but look at my bank account
17 -
What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing.... -
Cold as fuck in my flat
i don't want to write these unit tests
RRRAAAAAAAAGSFGGDDFGFDSA SAFSA SVA11 -
Some nice comments about how fucked up is the world of Android development.
Sometimes I feel like a clown having to pass though Google's hoops that change every five minutes. 🤡
4 -
It's 11 pm / 23:00 Uhr. I knew that i need to give a presentation tomorrow since like a month.
But guess who started working on this presentation a few hours ago and is not nearly at the end ( well my nerves are)
YOU GUESSED IT: ME🤡
OH AND MAYBE I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING EVEN THOUGH I WANT SOME SLEEP9 -
Epic labels from managers crack me up.
They're so generic and undescriptive.
"Focus on users"
"Prioritize ABC"
"Increase XYZ"1 -
I want you all to think back on how "transparent" and "helpful" everyone was to you when you were useful to the company.
And then as soon as you were gone, did they just complain and say something like "how could fullstackclown leave us??!?!?!"
I swear, the last call I was on, I literally heard the phrase "we are such a good team, we think up great MVP products and you guys execute so well"
Let me translate: "we are whimsical fucksticks and you are our slaves to implement it because we ourselves are too incompetent to do it"
Well no more.
Fucking tools, all of them, everyone just wants to use us to get ahead. No competence, no self-understanding, just encapsulate the "IT" or "tEcHiE" people to some department - doesn't even have to even be near us, they can be from any geographic location; they can just be replaced at a moment's notice!
Yeah, well fuck you, because we're growing in skill and understanding, and fighting against you.
Fucking 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡s
The unionized revolution of software developer is coming soon.3 -
daily reminder (most of you don't need it i know) that reddit is full of the most ignorant and dumb people on the planet
thought i could hop into comments on a /r/worldnews post for interesting discussion and discourse, no, its just idiotic neckbeards trying to one up eachother on painfully cringe doomer phrases and / or who can get the most upvotes from their godawful dumbass pun
what a fuckin cesspool
and they wonder why the world is going to shit7 -
fuck it; at 10K updoots i'll reveal my identity
then everyone will know i'm a closet psychopath
it may be risky!
it may be ruinious to my career!
let's do it!21 -
I've built multiple profitable SaaS apps in my career, from scratch, by myself...
...but it's sure damn important to know wether fucking Cindy or Bob or neither can fit into a parking lot after muddling through stupid obtrusive rules that don't mean anything
"its to understand how you think"
yep, clearly don't know how to do that, that's why i'm taking this labrat, i mean, cognitive test
🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡7 -
jumped one of my backends from .NET 6 to .NET 8...
no breaking changes...
all nuget packages updated flawlessly...
well played microsoft, well played...
i'm incredibly suspicious and skeptical...
only thing missing is pushing the changes because bitbucket is doing "scheduled maintenence" that they apparently told no one about. 🤡
https://bitbucket.status.atlassian.com/...
welp, guess i'm done for the next few hours9 -
so now they even have a name for not being an idiot...
its called a "composible" architecture as apposed to a "monolith"
what if i told you it's all the same?
(i'll even throw in a bonus and say that a "microservice" architecture is still a monolith - because you need all your damn microservices working together for the full product or service anyway!!! and thats a monolith!!!!)
wow, you've "decoupled" your frontend from your backend? with this fancy thing called an "API"? well, what the hell else was anyone doing in the past decade? ITS THE SAME THING YOU DUMBASS
god i swear its 🤡 all the way down, just inventing new words for the same thing over and over again. idiots. idiots everywhere
i'm just so happy we have "composible" architectures now ❤️ thank god for that6 -
I propose the brand new, AI-powered debugger.
When your program returns an error, like this one:
“x is undefined”,
…you convert it to SpongeBob case and add a clown emoji, like this:
“x iS uNdEfInEd 🤡”
and the program fixes itself and apologizes.1 -
Hey fastlane!
Great tool and all, but your documentation is at 🤡 levels, I need to read 20+ pages to get a full overview and understanding. So far I've had to read a dozen plus blogs and stackoverflow posts to find hidden flows (authentication first to do this, etc. etc. etc.)
Don't market your tool as "reducing complexity & saving time" and showing one-liners in the docs when in reality there are lots of hidden steps and NOT one-liners!!!!!!
This is why everyone complains it takes 1-2 days to just get a freaking pipeline working!!!!🤡 -
Hi FuLlStAcKcLoWn,
I fOuNd A fEw ErRoRs On YoUr SiTe.
MaY i SeNd OvEr SoMe Of ThOsE eRrOrS aNd AuDiT rEpOrT wItH pRiCeS?
i’m LoOkInG fOrWaRd To YoUr RePlY
bEsT rEgArDs
god this is getting repetitive, how can we spam the spammers? wasn't there a site like "send your enemies glitter"? classic!
i guess this is what I get for putting my company email public
but really, what happened to gmail's spam filter? should spot ones like these from miles away7 -
"On September 1, 2023, the domains registry for .COM and .XYZ will implement universal price increases of up to 9% for .COM renewals, and up to 9% for .XYZ renewals, registrations, and transfers."
sigh.6 -
here i go again, trying to convert my entire backend infrastructure to docker images on a sunday
FML
🤡11 -
so now they've got me taking aptitude tests
like a little lab rat 🐁
🤡
tune in next week to find out my next foray in the idiotic hiring slop world of death3 -
"Fauna's free plan has been adjusted from 5GB to 1GB going forward"
huh? I thought "tech was eating the world" "cloud is everything" "things are getting more efficient"
so why the hell do all these cloud providers keep DECREASING the free tier. annoying as all hell
where's all the storage and compute going? fucking crypto?
each day the 🤡🌎🎪 grows stronger
13 -
I'm coding like it's Mad Max and stackoverflow is the junkyard, I just hope it doesn't catch on fire. 🤡4
-
some people literally want you to do all the work for them
then complain when you don't do it for them
i'm sure they'll get far in life
🤡8 -
Fucking spam
Useless pieces of shit
Targeting my dad, fools, he has me 🤡
I'm gonna flood you with fake emails and passwords
So much that you will stop spamming and then I'll continue a little bit, just to be safe
Fucking bastards1 -
so they are really out there...
people who beleive C# is just the one source of truth and all other languages are just garbage
🤡
sad to be so ignorant - though i guess ignorance is bliss
to be clear: I use C# like anyone else, but it's just a tool in the toolkit, that's all11 -
"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"
nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s
stop it. just stop it.
"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools
tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube
😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"4 -
Man, some days, these fucking managers just make me want to get fucking drunk...
clueless questions, annoying fucking fake priority shit immediately asking for this and that with absolutely no planning or thinking ahead
its really like guiding kids through kindergarten some days
i want to bring some seriousness and structure to this company but some days.... man, i just am done with it10 -
When you realize devRant's SEO is pretty decent and you were getting doxxed from your old account so you change your name to fullstackclown 🤡
(tried to include the emoji in it but once again devRant is too smart for me)8 -
hilarious to me that people will resent a language or framework for a handful of quirks or "unique" patterns
yeah, give me a language or framework that doesn't
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡13 -
linkedin recruiter asking for my email...
cmon dude... its on my profile...
i mean do we even exist anymore
🤡3 -
what percentage of these dune hipsters haven't read a SINGLE word of any of the 6 books in the dune series (yes drooling losers, there are 6 of them)
I'm guessing > 90%
wow congrats you watched a 2 hour film, make it your entire identity 🤡
god the world has become ever decreasing cycles of cringe... they will decrease in time length until we reach unending - and therefore infinite - cringe
FullStackCircus Principle™21 -
IBM: "oh, you can't actually USE our watsonx garbage, you need to book a call first! yes thats right, waste your time before installing what is nothing more than a chatgpt plugin for VS code!"
yawn
simply iq destroying knowing companies operate like this
🤡2 -
joined blind today...
i don't see smart engineers...
all i see is a bunch of scared sheep blathering around and complaining and wondering why a job in a capitalist society isn't 100% secure all the time...
get off leet code for once and read a damn history book
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
These 🤡clowns🤡 are so dependent on me and I'm just sick of it, not to mention I simply don't have the time.1
-
Python decided to write unrelated unfunny memes on their official downloads page.
Python = 🤡 clowns, confirmed
9 -
i like getting drunk and shitting on all the overly smug idiots on hackernews. sure, they may earn 100x what i do, but it's painfully clear most of them are juniors and have never owned or operated on a large production tech stack in their lives
OOHHHH WOWWWW SVELTE!!!! LOOK!!! WOWWWW!! OMG VUEEEEEEE
its the same over and over again until we all die
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡11 -
guy taking one of my courses is wondering why bitbucket can't reach his local machine address at 192.168.0.13 😂
🤡
(and inb4 annoying rubes like sidtheitkid or whoever), in the lesson I CLEARLY explain the steps of local IP -> router -> public IP -> internet, as well as the port forwarding / routing needed
probably like 5 of you on this site anyway who actually understand routing, the rest argue about which is better, vanilla javascript or <insert framework of your choice here> yawn. i grow weary
farewell4 -
today i said i had holiday until the new year and wouldn't open a code editor until then
and here i am 5 hours later looking at advent of code challenges, trying to do them in rust
🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡
also screw them for discouraging AI. if a tool can help me learn a new language faster i'm using it3 -
If i get another Nextdoor email i'm suing. this has to be at least the 5th time i've been magically resubscribed to their dumbass platform in the past 3 years2
-
IT admins of devRant, explain my dumbass the following:
Why would an IT department put servers in a VPN without TLS.
They presume they don't need because muh-VPN.
And then they don't want to hand out VPN connections to anyone and force me to use Citrix RDP 🤡
I know there are security reasons, but is there not a better way? Like goteleport.com ?
Asking for a friend (or several)5 -
Wow I'm jobless now due to inflations now no companies here in Malaysia wants to hire me.
I looked at linkedin realised I am not the only one who is facing this issue.
Most company in Malaysia declared bankruptcy. Massive retentions.
Looking remote jobs from overseas, got ghosted.
Hey @devrant want to hire me to reprogramme devrant for 3500USD? Hihihihi😈😈😈🤡15 -
TIL the ` character is known as the 'grave' character
meanwhile my 🤡 ass has been calling it 'back tick' this whole time...
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡14 -
bitter reflections from a bitter dev on hacktoberfest this year (in the past 2 hours of trying to find issues my IQ has at least halved):
- DefinitelyTyped - used to be my bread and butter to complete hacktoberfest; now, not sure if actual issue, or person just doesn't know how to use typescript (found a multiple such issues that were actually non-issues, the type they were asking for was right there, no pull request needed)
- avoid "issues" on no code / low code tools, these are toxic issues with titles like "I EXPLAIN BUG HERE", then probably not even a bug / more a feature request or clueless clown
- if your entire contributor team has the same character styled profile pic + background, i can't take you seriously; if your identity is so closely tied with what github team you are on... uh, i mean cmon what is this kindergarten? (also love the fact that an anon managed to get themselves mixed in hahahaha they ruined it perfectly!)
- most 'hacktoberfest' issue finders themselves are broken or don't load anything
- people claim issues and then never return YAWN
- the hacktoberfest discord: the projects channel is mostly people promoting their garbage repo WHICH HAS 0 OPEN ISSUES IN THE FIRST PLACE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and then OTHER people promoting their own portfolio on hacktoberfest???!! 😂😂😂😂 yeah bro i'm gonna help you with your own portfolio site GTFO
from what i've seen, i think i can start working approximately 5 minutes a day and be more successful than these absolute 🎪🤡🤹♂️ devs
sure, there is being a beginner, and there is being a clown salesmen trying to get people to do work for you... i mean wtf is going on
i WANT to help and contribute, but this year its really a struggle to find anything worthwhile to contribute to!
somehow the spark is gone... this might be my last Hacktoberfest... let me just return to my wisky and be in peace
4 -
lab rat status 🐀
this new one not only has a cognitive test (starting to get good at memorizing answers on these ones)
...but a personality test as well!!!
🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡🐀🤡8 -
"Changing your country or region will cancel any automatically renewing subscriptions."
This from a company that makes more per hour than any of us will make in our entire lifetime.
Welcome to the ultimate 🤡🌎 . You are in my domain now.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡9 -
we make sprint after sprint with literally no pause in between
and people wonder why people get burned out in this field
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡8 -
"C# is better than JavaScript"
I only see ruminations of people who are so far gone mentally they can't even see the forest from the trees anymore:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
Imagine having 100s of garbage ways to choose from for something that should have trivial built-in functionality.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
oh and don't give me the shit "enums are bad pattern" grow up and learn to code43 -
so I did dry january...
conclusions:
- perhaps a slight amount of more energy, but then I just work way more than i would anyway, since there is nothing else to do
- anxiety / stress not really affected or reduced
- sleep not noticably improved either
so overall I don't think I really get any of the so called "benefits" that the health gurus claim 🤡
needless to say I will be enjoying some scotch tonight6 -
2023 will be remembered as the summer i wasted searching for a 🤡 job
still, i'm slowly working towards fuck you money and soon it won't matter
and imagine... they said i don't know redux, when i've been using it before redux toolkit even existed 😂
what a time to be alive2 -
half of these YC companies don't even show up on the first page of google when you search them by name...
my company & all my products do, with a _very_ basic set of meta tags and a few blog posts 🤷♂️
it's officially a 🤡's world, and we're just living it in5 -
We find our hero, fullstackclown🤡, again harrowed by idiotic management.
Our backdrop and set: A Google calendar appointment was booked between the managers and fullstackclown. fullstackclown had created an all-day appointment for today which reads: "fullstackclown on site".
With the scene set, let us begin our tale..........
Manager: Are you going to be on site today?
fullstackclown🤡: Do you see the appointment I booked on our calendar stating that indeed I will be on site today?
Manager: ...
fullstackclown🤡: you are an absolute idiot
Manager: ...
I literally don't know what to do anymore. I mean it's RIGHT THERE IN YOUR CALENDAR. HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?! DO YOU WANT A TWILIO APP THAT SENDS YOU A PRERECORDED VOICE MESSAGE IN MY VOICE, CONFIRMING MY CALENDAR APPOINTMENTS?!
What type of mindset causes this type of behavior of double or triple checking things as simple as a calendar booking? Honestly shows a complete breakdown of normal mental functioning in my opinion.5 -
remember that company that ghosted me after I spent 2 hours taking 2 "aptitude" tests for them?
or the EIGHT HOUR challenge I wasted my time on because the guy said I didn't know enough redux, even though they were the ones completely overcomplicating (and frankly bastardizing) its usage? oh also imagine using sagas in 2023... fucking 🤡clowns🤡 get with the program, glad i wasnt hired by you, good luck finding a competant dev
yeah, was good times...1 -
so... is ReScript just a bunch of butthurt javascript developers who couldn't hack it to learn TypeScript (older, better tooling, better community, massive support with library typings, etc.)
seems like just a lot of extra, seemingly pointless and useless differentiating syntax rules
why do we need to keep reinventing the wheel?
"Our type system is guaranteed to *never* be wrong."
seen statements like this way too many times in my career... welcome to programming pain world, i should just read the rescript issues on github just to get a laugh here
but again, just a 🤡 giving his two cents
update: confirmed, all i've found on the web is rescript shillers trying REALLY HARD to defend it, and mostly failing3 -
oh boy, here we go again, another hacker news "who is hiring" thread... can't wait to be ghosted / ignored by a dozen+ companies...
🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡1 -
thanks to everyone for all the upvotes so far through the years! it's been a wild, and mostly depressing, ride.
i put the parrot on my shoulder now because it's the closest thing i could find to a 🤡 mask (which I already requested!!!!)
also updated some clothes, trinkets, pets, table, and monitor 😎 probably gonna leave my avatar like this for a while now
cheers
fullstackclown5 -
my life: dealing with shitty bullshit technologies to scrape together some money so i'll be able to retire for a few years before i die
🤡
I swear a year long+ (or permanant) sabbatical is on the horizon, I'm utterly sick of this shit6 -
Not gonna lie; having both != == and !== and === in JavaScript is one of the most stupid bad design moments; in my opinion.
I am not even going to bother trying to come up with a better syntax for that. I will never get over how bad it is. So bad. === is 🤡8 -
man you can tell some of these course selling companies are poorly managed (or rather, perhaps NOT managed) when you have to do the same thing over and over again for over TWO YEARS
HELLOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING... PLEASE PUBLISH MY COURSE NOW
if i'd put the damn thing on Udemy when it was done i'd already be 2-3K richer
...damn, i gotta taper off here with the rage before i reveal my identity at 10K
🤡🤡🤡🤡12 -
[Conference Call on Project Launch]
🤡: we just came up with an extra list of features to add to the system
🙊: but we just finished the system and it is ready on UAT server to sign off
🤡: we want these features, they are essential for a better backend admin experience
🤡: and we have been working on this project for almost a year!! we need these features and launch now!
🙊: (well, it took you guys six months to sign off on the initial graphics designs...) can we first launch what we have on UAT site first as they have been sitting here waiting for your approval
🤡: ok. i will test them and provide feedback. if it’s all good, then you can launch it.
🙊: ok. we will do another set of UAT after launch for your new features.
🤡: ok. i will let you know when we can launch the current UAT.
[Two weeks later]
🤡: #%^#*+!! why are the new features not on the UAT site yet!! why are there no changes after two week!! we cannot accept more delays! really need to launch asap!
🙈: 🖕🏽2 -
the year is 2050. yet another shitty 'note taking app' has be released by New Generic Shitty HypeBro Company™
still none have been profitable
🤡5 -
well, i just screwed what might have been a great opportunity at a great company with a recent capital injection by Uber.
I don't know what the hell my brain was thinking when answering at the technical interview, like wtf? they asked for an use of design patterns, and i started thinking for uses in my daily life (???), like, outside of work?? to which of course i answered "no, I can't think of a time I have used them" 🤡🤦🏻♂️
They asked what motivated me to work at that company, and I basically answered "money and free education perks" 🤡
The worst part is that they contacted me! So for some reason I was pretty sure that I would ace that interview with flying colors. Yeah well no, fuck those expectations.4 -
imagine thinking the future of llms / ai lies with yet another garbage python tool
😂😂😂😂
reality truly is stranger than fiction
🤡🤡🤡🤡6 -
Tru-lyfe CTO (CTC) stories:
I spelled a juniors name wrong in a commit message...
Am I an asshole?
P.S.: it was 100% fully NOT on purpose, it's just an alternate spelling of the name, i.e. Jakob instead of Jacob (not the name of course, for privacy purposes, just an example)7 -
I'm literally one junior developer building a front end stack for a company that uses the waterfall method of building shit...
My application has not been fully tested and none of the real user base has actually tested it. I have no clue what potential egde cases exist in my application. I did as much testing as possible but it's keeping me on edge that there is potentially something broken lurking underneath that I don't know about.
If it is broken it's all erupting into flames and there's nothing I can do about it because the application will have to go through a whole beuacratic process to allowed to be fixed.3 -
"blazor is far better than any other frontend framework"
ok:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
ah yes, very nice and easy to grok syntax
clowns
🤡25 -
7 days in, still can't get anything more than the infinitely seen tutorial GET / request working on a lambda function.
Oh, you've got something more complex, god forbid a POST handler? well, prepare yourself for days of suffering.
how far can you really go from standard software patterns?
Giving it about 20 more minutes and i'm going full self-managed, I don't have time for this shit
λ🤡6 -
how to build the gif selection feature in microsoft teams?
remove all funny gifs that you would otherwise want to use
cringe5 -
"this environment is externally managed"
yes, i know it is, please fucking install it
fuck you python and fuck you docker
tools for children
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡6 -
hey, i've got an idea
let's make the package format for browsers completely different than that of backend projects
fucking brilliant!
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡19 -
in other news, i'm in a group of like 5 devs out of a thousand who actually have something to show for this hacking project that's been going on for two weeks now
most "project" links lead to empty github repos, half assed repos, or cloned repo templates / empty / useless READMEs
wouldn't be surprised if i see a fork of bitcoin submitted soon
oh wait that's litecoin
but, fake it till you make right?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 -
hey guys have you heard of sTate aCtoRs?!?! tHeRe iS a BaCkDoOr BeCaUsE I aM a BaD coDe mAiNtAnEr aNd ApProVe aLL coMmiTs
i'm one of 10,000 ultra-rich fuckwads who lives in the sAnFraNsiScO bAy aReA
its crazy that people earn less than 300K per month!
but i spit around the word "state actor" because i once wrote a for loop that retrieves customer emails from a CSV!
hacker news dumb fucks, all of them
they need to go eat more salad at the meta headquarters
no wonder their jobs are at risk 😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡4 -
paypal, a company that literally makes BILLIONS per year, is going to make mit SIT and WAIT for a meager 1 year CSV transaction report printout
knowing the pile of shit that is corporate america, theyre probably running on some garbage circa 2002 IBM SQL server or some shit
god it truly is a 🤡🌎4 -
Not a month goes by or manager changes roadmaps and directions... Feels like I am working at a circus really 🤡🤡🤡 so much clowning around3
-
I've been contacted by tutorialspoint 3 different times by 3 different people
I already have courses on tutorialspoint
🤡🌎🤡🌎🤡🌎🤡🌎🤡🌎🤡🌎1 -
Oh, here's an environment variable that needs to be set in order to work, not mentioned at all in the documentation, only found when your CI/CD fails, blah blah blah i'm an ignorant human who doesn't give a shit enough or have enough pride in my job to write proper documentation
meanwhile managers and "product types" - we don't care about documentation, just being faster and that newest AI blockchain chatbot that we need now even though we don't understand the first damn thing about it, slop slop barf barf
Source, not a small at all org: it's the docker orb: https://circleci.com/developer/...
You need to set the docker password as an environment variable, its not just an amazing 3 step magic wand as the 'steps' suggest
yawn
but you know what? waste my time, as well as all the other developers down the road, that's just how it is these days you know2 -
That's a good one!
Sadly, in real life, I'm overly polite (working on fixing that dammit!!) and always trying to stay professional. I have a couple of coworkers who not only need a scolding, they need someone to beat their idiocy out of their little brains.
I have on occasions told some coworkers off when they were way out of place. A recent one: idiot PO trying to micromanage the dev team and thinking he's manager of the devs, came to me personally (sudden Slack call, no calendar invite) with some bullshit feedback about ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ CUMmNnicaTioN (I had to). Told him it's not his place to give me feedback and it's not his place to manage my time for me and ended the call aggressively which I don't prefer (it's always better to keep your cool and control your thoughts and words). My cholesterol level went up writing this.
Thank you and have a nice Monday!4 -
attempting to write 3 broker integrations for my fintech product today: TD Ameritrade, Tradier, and TradeStation...
starting with just the most basic possible: live bid / ask price, then will go from there...
will report back
will likely fail
🤡8 -
god... fuckkkkk me, is this really what people think will make them money? these are really udemy's "opportunity"??? classes???? more like "death"
https://udemy.com/instructor/...
rest assured, we are safe as devs, don't listen to what the iNfLuEnCeRs say
i imagine the old start up bros attempting to get the software development they need just by prompting 😂😂😂😂😂😂
"chatGPT - ship this app to the store! google AND apple!!!!!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
they, like most clueless boomers and people who don't know shit, are totally lost for what the future holds. have fun.
in their benefit, at least they'll be ignorantly blissfully happy as they are spoonfed AI generated content to make themselves feel beter and important
meanwhile, the knowledgable and bitter devs will drink themselves to death in depression
god i fucking hate the internet
only one tag is needed6 -
well folks, i've truly seen it all. an impressive an informative post on all there is to know about TypeScript, about time, since it's only 2023 and I've been waiting for this for so long!
...
"note: the syntax" 😂
remember that at the end of the day, this guy is employed, and i am not...
in all seriousness though, it's mind boggling to me these companies that market themselves as software or developer companies (or "professional" developers themselves) STILL aren't building their web apps using TypeScript
inb4 javascript maximalists / purists - come back after you've built and had to maintain multiple 10K LOC webapps and tell me that typescript didn't help you
🤡🌎🤡🌎🤡🌎🤡🌎🤡🌎
5 -
Every company and their brother have a chat bot now. It's like 2018 with crypto, but even more ironic and funny because nobody realizes it!
🤡4 -
I was sad this morning, because my thesis supervisor being an asshole that I seriously considering to just drop out..
Then I checked my bank statement and salary of 2 months has been deposited today.
Who needs that fucking degree when I earn more than you?
Who's the joke now?! 🤜🤡🤡
I am going to give them a middle finger tomorrow.😉5 -
Clowns who reply to each thread separately with a single comment on Slack instead of keeping it in the main window 🤡
-
love people who comment on shit (blog, website, saas product) when they have never built anything of the sort themselves
🤡9 -
everyone and everything trying to guilt you or make you feel bad
it's all bullshit invented by the rube masses to make themselves feel better about being a part of the rube masses
cuz they couldnt hack it
not many can
🤡2 -
fffffuuuuuu i've forgotten how some of my software works / runs
time to waste hours in the archives...
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
1 -
Clean Coders Hate What Happens to Your Code When You Use These Enterprise Programming Tricks
https://youtube.com/watch/...
fantastic presentation all around
its like proving in realtime how i know those certain people who complained about a single const i used are in fact, total noobs and poor programmers!
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
An ex-colleague is still receiving company documents regarding his old company car and he contacted my company multiple times to correct it.
It includes 7 fines & 2 insurance documents.
And now the person responsible for fleet management is frustrated that his emails are no longer polite...🤡 -
oh great, now turbotax's charity contribution section is bugged and i'm like 1/10th through the way through
ffs does ANYTHING work anymore?
🤡1 -
literally the last fucking thing i need to work for my mvp is ffmpeg to fucking work. i literally need to add audio at various start times in the video, sounds so easy right? too bad its a complex, cryptic, and horrible peice of shit.
no wonder stackoverflow is full of ffmpeg garbage
imaging writing a novel to run some audio / image editing commands, jesus christ
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
still at it 3 hours later, this should NOT be that hard ITS ALMOST FUCKING MIDNIGHT NOW YOU DUMB FUCKS FUYCK YOU FOR BUILDING THE MOST CONVOLUTED FUCKING SHIT EVER GOD I. AM. SO. SICK. OF. SHIT. LIBRARIES. WITH. SHIT. DOCS. SHIT. USERS. AND BULLSHIT. NO. FUCKING. SENSE. APIS.2 -
in this takehome challenge: let's see how much we can over-fucking-complicate every single thing. You want one selectors (that could just be one-liners) stacked on top of MORE one liner selectors? you got it!
you want sagas with fucking wierd ass syntax that can be replaced with i don't know, BUILT IN JAVASCRIPT??!!? you got it!
oh yeah, and with all this complexity, not a single line is written with TypeScript...
...i can't remember the last time i fucking had to write the characters 'propTypes' on a react project
what the hell is this, 2015?
it's absolutely mind exploding mind boggling how these orgs operate
double the work, double the time, double the cost
but what do i know? i'm just a 🤡 -
so my suspicions were correct... most projects were fake and i was selected as a finalist for that hacking project!!!
wahoooooooo
also, day 5 of not knowing how to mix ES and commonjs packages in node
dutifuly signed,
🤡7 -
well folks
trading futures
soon there will be no need to listen to any clown, post on dev rant, or to work for anyone
so probably, the depression will increase...
🤡
for anyone interested, if you have a strong interest in statistics and probabilities, you can probably do well here
5 -
Starting the day with a coworker's message filled with incompetence, assumptions, and flat-out ignorance.
Happy clown day!2 -
Just discovered qwik and solid... any thoughts?
they both look like react clones :/ but what doesn't these days?
I guess they really were serious when they say its its 10 new frameworks per year 🤡3 -
oh look! a bunch of westerners getting mad and emotionally debating something they have absolutely no control over!
can you guess which site i'm talking about?
imagine feeling pressured by society to choose a side in absolutely every single thing that happens on the planet every day
welcome to the hellish clownworld that is 2023
to stay safe (and much more mentally healthy): sip coffee, code, and carry on
🤡🤡🤡1 -
i think kobenz is borderline autistic
he claims he built a predictor of dollar "exchange rate" price (didn't mention against which currency - warning bells), if this were true he wouldn't be on this site...
THEN he claims he built a "framework" like React in 500 LOC...
💩🤡
lotta trolls on this site, beware...6 -
How many standard drinks (or alcohol) is 4 CL of gin?
In most countries, a standard drink or alcoholic beverage is commonly defined as containing approximately 14 grams (0.6 ounces) of pure alcohol. This amount of alcohol is found in various quantities of different types of alcoholic beverages.
A typical shot of distilled spirits, like gin, is often around 1.5 ounces (44.3 ml), which is roughly 4 centiliters (CL). If we assume that the gin has an alcohol content of around 40% (80 proof), then the pure alcohol content in 4 CL of gin would be:
4 CL * 0.4 (alcohol content) = 1.6 CL of pure alcohol.
To convert this to standard drinks, which are typically based on 14 grams of pure alcohol, you would divide the amount of pure alcohol by the amount of alcohol in a standard drink:
1.6 CL / 14 grams = ~0.11 standard drinks.
So, approximately 4 CL of gin would contain about 0.11 standard drinks worth of alcohol. Keep in mind that alcohol content can vary between different brands and types of gin, so this is a rough estimate. It's always a good idea to refer to the label on the bottle for more accurate information.
Thanks, Chat GPT, i'm going to go ahead and drink 10 of these gin sodas and i'll only have had one standard drink!!!!
😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡
Happy friday ya'll4 -
lets see...
would i like the glenfidditch 12 year for 45 EUR?
or the laphroaig 10 year for 50 EUR?
😂
seems like a no-brainer to me (and trust me, i have NO brain)
inb4 fullstackcircus is an alcoholic, we already know that
go hang out with the OTHER hacktoberfest participants and tell me something i don't know10 -
How do you convince your manager that a certain feature is absolutely not yet ready to be released. Any warnings & concerns fall on deaf ears 🤡6
-
I hate and despise all governments so much right now. Blunder, waste money. Politicians are rarely held accountable for the bad decisions
People say that anarchy is bad. Like, the streets would be full of thieves and bandits: you walk 10m and you get robbed because there is no police. The real question though, is: do we have any real evidence on this matter? Just something I've been wondering about lately.
Do we have a real-world example where the crime rate actually goes down because of a good decision made by the government? Do we have a historical example of an anarchy society? The way I understand it, people were just more bloodthirsty in the past: many liked the idea of going to war and killing enemies (is fact). Now the culture has changed, but the governments are stuck in the past.17 -
bumping kid cudi's Entergalatic, which I totally somehow missed while in depression working for the 🤡s last year
its so sick, this guy never misses
great hacking music3 -
twilio has over 1000 engineers and they can't maintain both a mobile and desktop app
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
if you're smooth-brained and don't know what i'm talking about (i.e. sidtheitkid) yes I'm talking about the sunsetting of twilio's authy app in mid march...
going to be a real pain in the ass4 -
My graphics card is only able to play video on YouTube with max resolution 720p. If I choose 1080p then I get less than 1 frame per second playback.
This is disappointing; seeing that Radeon 5600 XT graphics card can only play videos in 720p. I am pretty sure that poor performance is caused by Radeon graphics driver; there are no other problems of any kind on my system.
Radeon software team = 🤡🤡🤡
The bugs without end need to be stopped. AMD software deserve their bad reputation 100%12 -
Shoutout to C0D4 - you da real MVP!
Tried to subscribe to your rants, but it looks like that feature is suddently missing? Not sure, since I'm a 🤡4 -
I implore ANYONE... please...
Have you EVER written a SINGLE Jest test that didn't have some sort of bullshit spewing stuff like this:
"ReferenceError: You are trying to `import` a file after the Jest environment has been torn down."
"Warning: React.createElement: type is invalid -- expected a string (for built-in components) or a class/function (for composite components) but got: object. You likely forgot to export your component from the file it's defined in, or you might have mixed up default and named imports."
and yet running on a device, features work flawlessly and quite well, no errors or even warnings in sight logged
This is the most fragile pile of garbage I have ever seen.
I hate this.
inb4 your stupid ass todo boilerplate garbage you wrote tests for in freshman year. i'm talking about a REAL app with HUNDREDS of components.
where the grownup testing tools at? it's a question I've still not answered after a year of fucking around with this framework2 -
Oh mannnnnn
We had a meeting with a data analyst today who is going to build an ML system for us.
...but at the start of the meeting, he didn't even know what our existing product even looks like!!!
...
Good one management!
Do I literally have to do EVERYTHING? It should be YOUR job to make sure every member has the essentials to participate in the meeting; YOU'RE the manager, NOT me!!!!
Oh also, let's not forget I got the meeting appointment HALF AN HOUR before it started...
#justmanagementthings
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 -
Boo boo, Apple is artificially slowing down old devices so people buy new ones 🤡
EVERY phone becomes slower over time because of battery degradation. I’ve changed my iPhone’s battery yesterday, and it’s as fast as new now.
Morons.8 -
When you write to API developers to signal a bug in the back end and when it fact it is the third party library RECOMMENDED by the same API developers that is in cause... 3 days later... 🤡
-
be you
> claim you are an 'expert' at anything when you got your MS in 2018
> fuck you
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
we write cryptic symbols and modify bytes somewhere so that every 30 or so rotations of the planet, some other bytes somewhere else are modified to add to make a number larger2
-
holy crap patch-package is such an amazing tool
i forget about it all the time
lovely when there is a dependency tree and one of the dependencies was last updated 7 years ago
🤡1 -
trying to clean off my mac (yes i managed to fill nearly 1 terabyte)
and holy shit whoever is closest to guessing the size (in Gb, yes it's that bad) of the old 🤡 startup i worked for wins...
god yet another detriment to the years of my life wasted
i'm also still on node 18 lol, totally missed the maintenance date on that one
my life is in shambles
serious question - would you be willing to pay $1 a year or something stupidly cheap for emails when a software goes into maintenance? i sure as hell would pay for that5 -
I have a question here. (Or 2...) What would you do if at some point, you see a resume of a colleague where he puts false experiences and misrepresenting qualifications ?
And what if someone 'discover' he has like a ton of admin/confident info of his previous job ?8
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