Not entirely true, but still funny :)

Not mine, but pretty funny ^^

Morning conversation with wife.

As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter

She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.

Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.

She: that not funny, why do you always do that.

Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.

A little later.....

She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)

I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)

At least they were real though...

Girlfriend: "My computer is so slow!"

Me: "Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

Girlfriend: "That's not funny, I actually need help."

Me: "Okay babe, I know you think I'm being an ass right now or tying to be funny, but honest to god half of what pays rent here and buys you so many flowers is me telling people to turn something of and then on again. Just try it."

Girlfriend: *Restarts computer*... "You were right..."

I dont know if its a repost or not but its funny.

This is not mine, but I found it funny so wanted to share !

Ranted about this internship before but just remembered this.

1st internship.

The employees and the boss were having a joke/laugh. I found it funny as well so I laughed along

A little later the boss pulled me outside (as well as my internship guide person): why where you laughing along? You had nothing to do with that conversation. It was none of your fucking business. Stay out of other people's business, understood?

I was scared, shaking and trying to keep my tears in.

That was not the best internship.

Normal devRant user:

- Look, the algo it's awesome, it matches similar content posts, it's so funny!

Meanwhile at devRant Headquarters:

trogus: When are you telling them?
dfox: Ignorance is bliss, my friend
trogus: Well, at least we know the random number generator it's not coded by Sony though, otherwise they would suspect

!Rant
Thought this was kind of funny for us lady devs/programmers, and something we can relate to.

The lady in the image is an engineer/programmer and is getting married but doesn't have any girlfriends (since she works in a mostly male oriented field, like us). So instead of having female bridesmaids she had her close brogrammers / college classmates stand up in her wedding with her. I mean, it was probably less drama, anyways! 😂

I'm the only girl on my team so I def relate!

*not my pic*

Dear nerds from all over the world,
We get it. 404 pics are funny.

But did you know there other status codes too?
Like...
204 - No Response
301 - Moved
302 - Found
400 - Bad request
401 - Unauthorized
402 - Payment Required
403 - Forbidden
501 - Not Implemented
502 - Service Temporarily Overloaded

I'm sure you'll also find funny situations with these.
Thanks. We're the best!

Recently I've been upgrading ubuntu. It took almost midnight.

Suddenly my area witnessed low voltage.

That woke up my dad.

(Now the funny part)

He looked at my laptop. Ordered me to stop whatever is running on it.

Naturally, I asked why!

No response.

Next morning, I came to know my dad thought those gibberish commands running on terminal caused that voltage to drop.

I laughed like hell...
(Me infornt of dad - hackerman)

(Not that funny tho)
Fin.

The right mood.....

"Do not disturb"

When I see a not-so-funny-rant with 19++

This is not a joke. This is not something I wrote to be funny. This is not found randomly off the internet. This is a real part of the project I inherited: a function that not only is more cumbersome to use than the simple <Array>.contains that it wraps, but rather than returning the boolean result from the function, sends it through an if statement and returns hardcoded true and false values for... Good luck? I guess?

Not original but nevertheless funny

Not mine, I just found funny

Sister: (she must migrated from iOS to android) you can download these apps and then you can change like colors and themes and everything 😍😱😵
Me: Yeah off course you can...?
Sister: Oh not, oh no, you're not going to tell me you've been able to do this for years?!?
Me: Uhm... Yes...?
Sister: 😵😭😱😭

Not an apple hate rant, just found the convo funny!

Guys w3schools is down. This is not funny! I repeat this is not funny!

NFF = Not Funny Friend.

NFF: what is your smart phone?
ME: OnePlus 3
NFF: Oh you have 4 !
ME: hehe, yeah. I am thinking to buy the new OnePlus 5.
NFF: you're gonna to buy 6?? wow
ME: Ok stoop

The most overused programmer meme:

Fuck why is my shit not working?
Fuck its working.

Seriously guys its not even funny anymore.

I finally subscribe to Netflix and am proud of myself for finally watching shows legally.

I search for Arrested Development.

Oh, guess what, it's not available in my country (Lebanon). Gotta set up a vpn now but all I wanted was a nice funny show. I want my $12 back.

Programmer dating problems

Src: r/ProgrammerHumour

In an alternative universe...

At my sisters place together with my parents. Showed my 100K accomplishment and I'm now showing my mother around.

It's funny how certain terms are hard to grasp for not so techy people!

Not funny but...

Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.

Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:

ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.

How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.

I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.

How. In. The. Living. Hell.

I did not create this and could not find a link to true creator. Still pretty funny though

everyone in class was so silent when suddenly one guy pops up and says:

" 'TROJAN' VIRUS? I got it! you know? the trojan horse and shit?"

we all laughed
not because of him just realizing it now

but because we all slapped our faces at the same time, it was kinda funny.

I'm not a PM, but that's funny!

I don't get people who rant about missing brackets... Your IDE/Editor will notice it and you're going to notice it. Unless of course you use Notepad.

It's not funny anymore.

If found a Website with a nice Guestbook. Funny thing: HTML-Code and JavaScript-Code in the message was not getting escaped. So I wrote a little JS-Script wich alerts “Nope“ and the then redirects to pornhub.com after page load.

After about 2 WEEKS of funny redirecting, they updated their site and HTML-Code is now getting escaped.

Sadly to say, but devrant is slowly moving away from dev part of its name, even rant part.

More I see posts about this tech sucks vs that tech sucks. That being annoying, would be fine, not for me, but fine.

The worse part are the memes. Repost memes, not funny, though, maybe funny to some, still no effort reposts.

Even worse are posts that have nothing to do with dev. Like recent post about soldiers and gay people (maybe you saw it). Why the hell post it here?

Going down are the ++ beggers, sadly I see even more of them.

Yes I understand I can just leave this platform.
I just wanted to express these mixed feelings I have been getting for my once favorite place to read about other devs experience.

Apple at its finest. Sold the iPhone I used to own. Wanted to remove from iCloud. Open chrome on my Android device and was greeted with unsupported browser. Funny thing is it works if I tick open as desktop website.

Ffs apple. Your safari browser is the new IE of browsers. Yes my device is supported. Yes for Christ sake it can render stuff. It's not an old Nokia... Who even thought it was remotely a good idea to restrict mobile access...

I hope it's not a repost.. but I find it funny

I find it funny how so many people still do not know that 1 kilobyte is just 1000 bytes and not 1024 bytes!

That's a KibiByte!

Guys, kilo means 10^3, always! Always!

Not a rant, but had to come here to post this.

I couldn't resist pranking my wife with the age old "Oh my God, I broke your laptop" prank.

SHE DID NOT FIND IT AS FUNNY AS I DID.

Anyone else tried it? If not, definitely try it.

I want to be PROGRAMMING on the freaking privacy site already, not having to search for icons, download them in the right color/format etc.

Fucking hell. (although finding good/fitting icons is a funny challenge though :P)

React Training offering discounts to anyone who isn't a... I'll let you guess.

Just thought it was funny that they'd list all this criteria instead of opting for the easier "As long as you're not a straight white guy"

i made it myself, and its kinda funny bc gradle itself is not the problem😂

I'm 18, asking my granddad a basic question. It was in danish, translation may not be as funny.

Me: Do you have a phone with a screen you can press?
Granddad: Yes
Few moments later...
Granddad: But i dont know if anything happens when i press it.

This meme is not that funny, but after long day of coding when your brain turns into potato, it becomes hilarious.. why though? 😂

When you're not funny nor miserable enough to post a good rant but you're still trying your best to get more ++ so you can get free stickers but the requirements keeps ++

I need to up my game :(

!rant ! technical
Just want to share with my devrant family.

Finally in relationship.
Funny thing is
Me-she
24-29
Hindu-jain
Non veg - veg
Don't have dressing sense- awesome dressing sense
Programmer-jewelry designer
Not so hygienic - so much hygienic
No gym ,no exercise - yoga master
Geeky - hate pc worms
2 times in jailed - follow every rule
Back bancher - front bancher
Love shayari/old bollywood song - EDM / western songs

Common bridge between us

MARVAL FANS
😂

Meanwhile in India:
Son: Dad, I want to be an actor.
Dad: Son, it's pronounced doctor.
I know its not tech. But in India this is funny.

Boss: I'm going to push you into the water without a lifejacket, and you have to learn how to swim by yourself.

*Not sure he is trying to be funny or he is out of his mind.

The keycap of the control key of my keyboard just popped of and fell under the table.
My colleague then said while I was looking for it: I think you've lost control!
And we both laughed way to hard and so loud that our boss came over to ask why we where laughing. xD
it's not even that funny but we couldn't pull ourselfs together xD

Why is innumeracy acceptable in our society?

It riles me where I see something like a current affairs or political show, (basic) stats are presented and someone says "I don't understand statistics, but [personal story follows]"

And when a person says they don't understand numbers there's laughter and nodding.

Imagine if I was on a panel and someone handed me a sheet of paper and I said that I can't read big words. Would hilarity ensue or would they assume I wasn't qualified to be commenting on *anything*?

People, if you are functionally innumerate, it's not funny. You have a 5th grade, at best, education. Be embarrassed and get help.

Not mine, but thought it was funny

Is there an app for devs who are looking for a flat. Something like devRent?

"why do java programmers wear glasses? ...
Because they can't see sharp"

My fucking ex-boss trying to be funny. Well you're not funny youfuckingpieceoftrash

Not mine. But it's funny

CTO hired mid-level full-stack developer for really complex product we’re building.

Here’s the funny part - he has 2 YEO building on top of freelance dev. code base’s on wordpress… Just fucking yesterday he told me, that Angular 10 framework is simillar to Jquery. Fucking dipshit, his code is so fucking bad it looks like italian sausage made out of spaghetti.

Not sure if I hate him more than ours truly cheapest CTO or him for being ridiculously incompetent and arrogant young asshole.

I’m in charge of him.
Help me.

So my room mate received an email from a recruiter today:

Hey XXX,

We have not given up yet. We know you are a busy person so we thought of a very time-saving number system. Just send us the number that fits.

1) I am interested, tell me more.
2) Offer sounds interesting but I still don't have time, message me again in 6 months.
3) Thanks for the offer but XXX is still not a city I am interested in.
4) Not interested, thanks for the offer.

1,2 or 3? I am looking forward to your number ;)
(They actually included the wink emoji)

Regards,
Recruiter XXX

We usually don't read these recruiter emails but this one was actually funny :D

> Monitoring: Load Average of 57!! ALERT!!!!
> me: What? That's not possible?
> *Monitoring froze 14 hours ago*
> *sshs into server*
> *see attached image*

The issue was ~1200 df processes that were issued by our monitoring system and all of them didn't finish because the external cluster we mounted onto that server died a few minutes before that. Just re-mounting the cluster fixed it but still a funny sight!

While I was working with my Android project that is written on Kotlin. One of my on non-tech colleague came and saw my screen and

said "Why are you overriding fun"

I replied him that we just not override fun we also have private fun and public fun.

Is it not funny translating code to real English 😂😂😂

(maybe) unpopular opinion

I hate the I'm at 127.0.0.1|localhost meme
It's a loopback address

It's like saying I live at home

Like why do people think it's funny or smart to post stuff like that

Even the doormat that was going around isn't necessary accurate, since it's per machine (in this case a human).
Like if you have the home saying it's localhost then you are obviously not.

Maybe I'm just being mean here but it's like really annoying after a while

I do not find 404 jokes funny

There have been so many times I wanted to say something funny about my code, but my Facebook/IRL friends wouldn't have gotten it.

Finally found you guys!

... this is not one of those times
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just recalled the time we sent the new apprentice developer to HR for a "verbal agreement form" to request his birthday off. HR Came back down with him unsure as to where to find the verbal agreement forms.

"Well, that's not very funny." - HR

Why I hate internet media, because it's full of articles such as:
9 tips to make you lose weight faster
13 ideas on how to improve your sex life
8 ways to make you happy when you are sad
47 funny images that make you laugh
8482929 articles that use a pointless number as a headline starter

I admit that these articles are way more tempting to click than if they did not use that number. On the other hand, the number is just random, it only describes the extent of the article. I so hate it.

Holy fucking shit! What the actual fuck is this?!!!

The funny part: this is not the worst e-mail I got from them, the person who is responsible for these e-mails should have been fired 2 years ago.

It's funny how all the pretty girls on LinkedIn want to have a cup of coffee with me after I updated my profile to match my current position. Previously not even bots on Tinder would chat to me.

Earlier this day i reached 1000++. Nice, isn't it?
Suddenly an idea comes to my mind.
Why not make a rant and thank everybody? And now comes the important part:

Why not make up a funny story telling how i met @dfox and welcomed @linuxxx and @alice on devRant?

Because somehow the story isn't funny at all because nobody got that it was a joke...

Went great...

People think i'm really old (19 btw.)
People think I know @dfox personally
@linuxxx can't even remember how I never welcomed him

So... sry... I guess? But thanks for the really nice comments!

So we're working on a few initial apps for a hackercamp and finetuning the OS. We've been coding for like 17-18 hours trying to finish this off without a day 1 patch on the event itself, when someone starts swearing like a sailor. We walk past him take a look at his code and see that he's started an array at 3 instead of 0. He's one of the more experienced members on the team so this is a lack of sleep bug rather than a not knowing. To this day whenever someone makes an array error in their code someone always shouts "Arrays start at 3 right"!

Maybe not the most satisfying bugs but man is it funny as hell.

had an issue where our clients payment gateway would duplicate the charge (at the gateway...not at the application) before sending it to the bank officially - the bank would detect the duplication then void both charges.

the gateway service admitted this was a bug, the bank it was tied to admitted it was a bug - but they wouldnt fix it. so my solution was to send a special uid with the original transaction (put it in a special field) and had the bank track that one as the "known good"

the funny thing? next version of the gateway api included this as a feature, but i got no credit.

If you call it "C Hashtag" ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, I will murder you.

There's a guy in standup that just yells his update in an Indian accent.

He's not even Indian. 💀

Its too funny, I can't even feel offended.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE YESTERDAY I CHECKED THE STATUS AND RESOLVED THE DEFECT"

The fact is not funny at all

This was my first real programming bible. I remember reading it chapter after chapter in the car on long car trips as a youngster and being so excited about the stuff I was learning I would explain it to my mom in the front seat as I was learning it. I'm sure she didn't understand a word of it.

Funny thing is I still do that today, 25 years later. And I'm sure she still understands not a word!

So, what was the book that really got you into programming?

Psst, tech world, fuck you and your so called April fucking Fools jokes. They are anticipated, way too obvious and are not even remotely funny.

DO !!!NOT!!!!! USE 'X' AND 'P' TO 'CUT AND PASTE' A LOT OF LINES ACROSS FILES IN VIM!!! HOLY SHIT I JUST PWNED MYSELF SO HARD I LOST SO MUCH CODE HOLY FUCK IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! WHERE DID AT ALL GO YOU ASK, WHY THE FUCKING REGISTER, OK LET'S CHECK THE REGISTER, COOL THERE IT IS, BUT WAIT, THERE'S ONLY LIKE 20% OF IT BECAUSE WE CUT A SHIT LOAD OF LINES AT ONCE, AND THE REGISTER OVERFILLED.... Ok let's calm down, doesn't Vim have a recovery option? Yes it does, but WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, MY CHANGES ARE NOT IN THE SWAP FILE BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE VIM CRASHED OR ANYTHING, MY DUMB-FUCK-ASS WILLFULLY WROTE THE CHANGES WHEN I SWITCHED OVER TO THE NEW FILE, AND NOW, WELL THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD KIDDO, YOU WROTE THE CHANGES TO DISK, NOTHING YOU CAN DO, AND I AM SO SCREWED I SPECIFICALLY MADE A DEVRANT ACCOUNT TO MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE PWNS HIMSELF AS HARD AS I JUST DID HOLY FUCK

ha ha funny

(this has already been posted 3 times, so why not a 4th)

Haven’t seen this posted, but this was to funny for me not to post 😂

You know what's funny?
When every job post requires you to know atleast 20 things.. but then you find yourself stuck at a job that needs you to do 1 stupid thing. And you need to actually FIGHT to not lose all the skills and knowledge you collected till now :(

Ok Now I am getting fed up of
"I am programmer , someone gave me printer/mobile/tv to repair" jokes/rants/memes.

Once or twice is fine. Now they are just reposts with slightly different content. Not funny anymore. Just irritating.

Why do people have to follow a trend here. Have some ingenuity guys.

Apparently yelling at someone "hey you! Yes you! You got water on the brain" is not as funny as I had hoped... Perhaps I should have checked if they were witcher fans before hand...

Fuck edge and fuck ie

Its particularly funny when something works on IE...but not on edge. Go fucking figure.

Bing is ok ms...y'all should focus on that. Ie was semiok back in the day but your browser game is weak af b.

Like seriously

"Edge and ie are awesome"

Said no web developer ever

(Joke || Rant)

This guy came with this joke.
Ok, funny.
Then months later you realise he pushed this tweaked prototype to master, and now this code is shipped in production and it actually prints some idiotic sentence about flat earth on console output.
Ok, idiot.

It's not my project, but sometimes I'm wondering what people have in their minds when using version control and ship crap...

I laughed my ass off.

Being a programmer for a while now it always irritates me to try to explain what I'm working on to friends and family. I forget what I knew before I developed. I'm always like "I made the strings in the database- oh I mean the words...well they're actually more like strings of letters- well anyway I made a code to sanitize the user input- I mean make it so it is secure before uhhh saving." I spend so much time watering what I'm saying down I forget what I'm talking about

It's not even funny. It'd be funny if one single person in my family or friend group understood what I meant to some degree.

The first time you go to DevRant :
- " Mmh not bad "

When you realise you can win a stress-ball :
- " OMG need to find something funny to say !! "

Mother fucking cunts should be shot into the sun...

It's worse enough when you have to deal with many things at once...

But how the fuck can 3 people from 3 different teams have the same bullshit idea to disturb a meeting and just start talking like it's the most normal thing.

YEAH. INTERRUPTING MEETING AND JUST BLABBERING ON AND ON...

Then fucking laughing how funny it is.

Upper management found it absolutely not funny.

Working from home prevented a mass murder today.

Someone with nothing to do changed everyone’s profile photo on the dev environment. I admit it was pretty funny. Not even the bosses escaped.

RETARD MASTER: So how did you feel about this sprint DEV?

*nothing is planned, new tickets added each day and old ones removed - inconsistent sprint*

DEV: Well, it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s understandable. I’m used to it. Nothing’s to blame here. Client can’t produce their end of the bargain on time.

*3 week later*

DEV MANAGER: So RETARD MASTER gave a feedback. He told me you insulted him.

DEV: Can I please die now? Not funny.

Docker is funny.

I'll try to fire up docker-compose and it will freak out.

Docker Error: "Oh man! Oh man! Something is wrong! It's probably not docker it's YOUR CONTAINER!!!! WTF DUDE!!!"

Me: "Uh docker ... your little systray icon indicates docker itself is broken right now...""

Docker: "No way man, i'm sure it's your fucked up container, must be something wrong with it!!!"

Me: "I'm just gonnna restart you."

Docker: "OK but I'm just say'n th----"

-restarts docker-

-restarts docker-compose-

Docker: "OMG It's up!!!!"

Question time:

Has anyone used PHP unit with Selenium before?

I have a.. well words can’t explain it nice enough but, beyond a joke, not even funny, spaghetti code base I’ve come to inherit recently, which god help me, doesn’t follow any design patterns at all, it’s just a stamp this here, staple this down over here and throw paint at the wall and hope it sticks.

It’s a mixture of procedural and functional with the rare class kind of mess.

So attempting to refactor by any means is not a real possibility without some kind of behavioural testing in place first otherwise I know I’m going to end up breaking something somewhere and not even know it.

Also if anyone has had the privilege of such code bases, tips to dealing with the mess are appreciated.

Oh and no, I can’t rm -rf or start again.😭

I found it funny that we're actually debugging our code on prod. (while the client is using the system)
Looks like I'm playing minesweeper. 😂

ps. will never do it again
pps. don't do it
ppps. you should not

"I didn't get the email. I checked my spam folder"

"Did you check your trunk folder? I've heard there's junk in your trunk"

Like WTF!

"the value of NaN is result of an operation that cannot produce a normal result. NaN is not equal to any value, including itself."
The funny or wierd part (maybe just for me):
"You can detect NaN with the isNaN(number) function".

Like whaaat? 😶

Don’t know that I’ve seen this posted here yet. Either way, the Google devs definitely have a sense of humor

!Dev

Okay so this is a very embarrassing story but I guess it's kinda funny so I thought I'd share it anyway.

I was playing a tabletennis game in VR and my opponent was a pretty chill guy who started blasting metal music. We were just casually vibing and then we started headbanging. Not a good idea with a VR headset on your head. There are two deep scratches right on my forehead now. Two perfect parallel lines.

I lost the game, and the smoothness of my forehead.

Okay kids, never headbang with a VR headset on, remember that.

!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.

Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...

A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.

A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....

game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡

Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant

I'm not yet a programmer, I'm still learning. But is it normal to get so frustrated when I can't find a solution to something and start feeling totally useless?
It's funny because after a sleep I sit down again and usually fix the problem

When a ping with less than 10ms eqauls ping porn, shouldn't pinging yourself be considered masturbating?

One of my friends works in NVIDIA and slwas previously a part of the graphics department where she worked on the rtx 3070 and briefly on 3080 card. The funny thing is she gets paid very low (SDE in India) and sadly her monthly salary is less than the price of either of the cards. While she is not keen on gaming, some of her mates are in a similar situation and just dream about buying it.

All I wanted to do was point out the irony wherein people who help make the thing themselves cant afford it.

So it's done. I signed my new contract with my new company after I left my old job. Better contract level, better pay, better benefits (at my old office they didn't even give me a pc. I had to use mine..)..
But the sad/funny story is that my old boss do not talk to me anymore because he can't understand why I'm leaving..sooo mature!
I really don't care because actually he do not deserve anything from me, he's (and forever will be) an arrogant prig without humility.
The only regret is leaving the co-workers I bound with..but I'm sure we'll be in touch.
Yep.. maybe this is definitely a rant/story!
Wish me good luck for this new adventure!

competitive salary
so competitive we refuse to compete by actually stating it

by this point I might just have some fun and not apply to jobs persay but just write funny blurbs to them about their ads

I think I'm finding I just don't wanna work with all these technologies

To normal people that think to be real developers just because they use command line, command line editors, linux... To open source super heroes, stuck in 90s stereotypes' blaming everything against microsoft and anybody that use anything from ms, because for some reasons they things they have the right to do so, but you're not better than old ms...use whatever you want, but don't bother the other DEVELOPERS, everybody is free to use whatever they wants...funny thing i guess they use any of google services or products :)

Oh my God. Did any of you catch Sundar from Google being grilled by Congress yesterday?

It is so embarrassing watching congressman who think they know technology ask questions did somebody who actually is technically proficient. you would think they would have hired somebody at least to educate them first before looking like an ass on TV.

It look like I asked my janitor to interview our next developer.

So funny though over his left shoulder there's a guy that looks like Sir topham hatt from Monopoly. Hahahahahahh not kidding black top hat and big white mustache.

At last!

My 3x WiFi6 cards have arrived! Now I have WiFi18

Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny.

Funny how human brains are never satisfied.

Not much to be done at work today? My job is unproductive and I am wasting my time.

Too much work? You think you fucking own me, bitches!!

I just got ran off the road, in real life. My heart won't stop beating. Not a joke, or a funny story, I can't seem to relax.

Not sure if its a "we are funny company" or a misstake.

Oh... You're holding my repo up for ransom? Hah you're funny. I'm not paying money for the garbage I haven't touched since...
Also
git push -f

Never erase a f*c%ing python installation on you Linux distro, its not funny.

Deep Thought Rant

It's funny how the world works these days...companies only looking for "senior *something*" developers to work...

Mentorship and internship also do matter. What's happening?...sure you can contribute to open source but having a mentor also helps. Working as an intern allows one to see not only tech bit but workplace environment. How to deal with deadlines, feeling good and wasted at the same time when one bug that took a 3 minutes to fix but 3 hours to find, presenting your work; well what's working only, being bashed when it's your fault or not (even though that sucks), learning from your mentor and so on

Are their companies that still do this?

make let not var

Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY

me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.

Excuse me driversed.com? THATS NOT HOW MATH WORKS!

I've only taken one test and got a 93%, but it says my average score is a 92%.

Just thought that was kinda funny.

Remote server software installation support is great!
You can watch them trying to understand where what is on the file system, they repeatedly switch between windows without doing something on either of them and they set your IE browser policy to allow all kinds of domains & sites which are preventing them from downloading their software.
Todays guy did not know how to transfer a file between the local machine and one in remotedesktop. 😄

(If you do support like this, then don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of you personally, it is just funny to watch if you have to actually sit there and wait for the support to finish.) 😉

When you misspell crypto.randomInt as .ransomInt and accidentally encrypt everything in your company's intranet.

First I did not like the show „The IT crowd“, but than I got drunk and now it is quite funny 😁

If my stomach start rumbling in the middle of the next zoom meeting, I'm prepared to commit Seppuku on zoom.

Can't take being more embarrassed. 😒

/jk

Who thought it would be a good idea to limit the length of a dns record to 255 chars?

Is one really not allowed to use a proper dkim key in 2018!

The funny thing was that they just cut off the rest without informing the user!

Had to convince the guy to switch dns „provider“

Like a lot of people, I have created an account on a website to find a job.

The funny part was when I was asked for my city (with a little * to indicate that the information is required) and ... the field was just gray and unusable ...

The solution was simple, edit the html to enable the field and add the selected value manually because it wasn't added automatically on selection.

Today i'm not sure if this was a test, a troll of just a crapy form ...

(actually it wasn't speciallt a dev site so i suppose it's the answer 3...)

binary jokes: they're either funny or they're not.

The new EU copyright reform (article 13, etc.) is getting comical.
After even the big copyright holders retracted their support for the law, it seemed to have no chance and was "put on ice".
After short while it was warmed up again by negotiating some trade offs (which are apparently hated by everyone) and it may or may not be passed in the next few weeks.
So far so idiotic.
It seem that even the initiator - Axel Voss - will not vote for the law. Unfortunately for wrong reasons. Why? It is not strict enough for him.

Anyhow, the longer text he used to present his view he he seems to - copy - his argumentation from Bertelsman (German media group).

It could be funny, if all of that wasn't so sad as there is still the possibility that this stupid law passes.

Being a c# junkie moving to c++, I hated the archaic practice of declaring things in one file, then implementing them in another.

I have been using c++ as my main language for about two months straight now, and I went back to a c# project and I HATE not having them in separate files.

Funny, eh?

It really becomes a joke when you can't sleep due to unstoppable amount of pooping.

What the fuck?
Are vegans that special to need a fucking own dating site??!
Are normal dating sites not good enough for them?

Funny part is that he says there have been some other vegan dating sites before. None of them did it. Of course his will! Because his sites will do ads. And ads means thousands of users!

while finishing my almost 3-day easy task with bg music of evanescence, one of my boss sent this image.

I always try to explain the new coding conventions to my team but they think it's funny and should not be taken seriously [facepalm]

A funny story I just remember while my code is compiling :

Back in high school, in Math, we were taught how algorithm works, and we made some exercises with practical examples.

I didn't know anything about it back then, so was curious. Was pretty fun, but one day, my teacher said that a IF is a loop. I said "no, this is a test" but she keeps saying that it was a loop, ignoring me (I dunno if she actually heard me) and no one actually noticed it as she repeated it several times (while I was saying that it's not). I just gave up trying to say it's wrong.

Funny story:

We were going through Sprint Planning on Monday. We got through all of the tasks that we knew we had to get done, then we started going through the backlog to see what we could pull forward.

The guy running the meeting (who's not actually a Scrum master, but whatever) get's to a task, reads it aloud, and goes, "That doesn't ring any bells. Brian, it's in your name, it says it's from May, do you know what the status of this is?

Brian reads through it for about 20 seconds before saying, "That date says it's from 2017. I don't think we need it anymore."

!dev
It's funny to think that in a world where we keep telling ourselves that each of us are unique, we are always forced to follow societal norms. And I'm not just talking about stuff like sexuality, even people with small quirks have to bend themselves in order to be accepted by the masses...

Was fixing a bug and suddenly got an error that the lodash library could not be loaded. Funny, didn't even know the project used that lib. Looked for the reference and the previous dev used _.times instead of a for loop. Ha okay, interesting. Wonder where else this library is used.
Searched the whole project for references, dependencies, whatever, any sign of it. Fucking. Nothing.
Rewrote the _.times part as a simple for loop, then removed the library. The rest of the project still worked perfectly. Took me about a minute and a half.
Who the fuck uses an entire damn library to... Not write a for loop I guess?!

!rant

Coworker: I've been working on this computer for an entire day now and it's still having issues

Boss: Well, we can give the client an option to get another SSD and clone to it before reinstalling the OS.

Coworker: But he doens't have an SSD...

Boss: Yes he does

Coworker: *opens computer* let's see, two 1TB hard drives... but no SSD... Oh, there it is. It's hidden. But it's booting too slow to be....

*epiphany*

Coworker: Oh my god. I've been telling the computer to boot to the wrong hard drive. That explains everything!

People that comment random subreddits on platforms other than reddit, such as r/whoosh, are the bottom feeders of comedy and are definitely mouth breathers. Probably have a smooth brain too.

That shit's lame asf and not funny at all.

I just sent I put a funny photo of mine as my profile in whatsapp for a few seconds.

Few seconds later, some *innocent* person sends me the following message "hey, that's a funny image of yours lol. Just shared it on facebook"

***Facepalm***

! Not pissed off, just wondering why the heck people feel like sharing everything they fucking see on Facebook

I've had a shitty day. Spent half an hour arguing with my manager that my disability was something that they have to take into consideration. Literally had to explain that ADHD is protected under the UK equality act. Was fucking furious by the end, did no work for the afternoon, couldn't deal. I literally work for a medical company.

A couple of years ago I got told, "jokingly" by a colleague, that "learning disabilities are made up excuses for stupid people". I have a learning disability (dyspraxia). They lacked both the skills and knowledge to do my job.

Don't make jokes like that. They're not funny, and make you look stupid.

>you can order Devrant stickers for free
>but you're not doing that
>'Man, why? That stickers are cool!'
>I know they are cool, but I'm here not for stickers, I'm here for funny community
That's what I think.

I work in a big German company and we are a lot of teams building the company website.

Obviously the website is in German but almost all the devs are not German speakers, included the testers.

To make the work easier in the frontend we use sometimes the translation function of chrome and it's funny because a lot of time I got a bug opened by a tester for a wrong label because HE FUCKING FORGOT TO DISABLE THE TRANSLATION AND HE THINKS THAT THE LABEL IS IN THE WRONG LANGUAGE

Just asked a question on another stackexchange site. Funny how almost all questions and answers are being upvoted. Thats something that you are not used to experience on stackoverflow :P

I am so 😢🤒😡 right now. I applied for a remote job, so they gave me an assessment and the language was c++. The funny thing is that c++ was not in my resume.
So I decided to explore c++. "I don't know what the fuss is, C++ is not so hard". It was very easy for me to grasp. It took me two days to understand it.
Then I did one of those online test and I scored 58/60.
Now I went back to take the assessment test on C++ but lo and behold the assessment is now on Rest API.
But Rest API is also not on my resume. They are not assessing me on my strengths like Java or kotlin or python or my my lesser strengths like C# or JavaScript.

On a related note
Here is something we should not find funny
But still they found a way with a screaming bitch in a nighty

So someone complained to my bosses boss about some internal page where I collected some of our own funny git commit messages, because they were not "meaningful", and I had to take down said page.

Fuck that narrow-minded seriousness, why be so German? If we have to debug multi-threaded C++ programs, we need that bit of fun and sarcasm to stay sane. But probably that someone is a member of some of these "professional" Agile teams that waste a day a week with fucking retros, sprint planning or other mind-crippling meta stuff, then evaluating frameworks and tools, while we are doing motherfucking programing.

Not original but still funny..

I find it funny that, one of the most expected features on Windows, is not even a Windows feature. The teams at Microsoft must be feeling the same way we feel when, after a huge project, the client gets super excited when we implement or change something really, really small, that we did in a couple hours, just for fun.

Everybody keeps complaining about people who center content (expecially in websites) not appropriately.

So I'm just watching the WWDC 2018 (never watched one before and don't own any iDevice) and see the new aproach on Apple News.

So, "centering is ugly" is out and instead "gorgeous".

Have to admit, that this does indeed look nice. Just funny when centering content often embodies bad design choices.

Am I the only one who think there should be a separate option for providing reason for downvoting called as i-live-under-the-rock-hence-i-post-old-1950era-jokes-and-memes-which-i-copied-directly-from-facebook.
Like why would you do that. Why?
And more over those plagiarized work have astronomical ++ :(

PS: I hate those memes with laughing emojis 😂 stamped over image. No its not funny. Remotely.

Customer give me a broken iPad. The screen was pink or green with a not wanted 3D effect. Solution? Just kick it on the back side where the the screen connector is. That’s a so funny solution 🤣

I was going to show my boss DevRant. Due to my quick thinking of past and future rants pertaining to said boss, I decided not to. Quickly switching to Instagram seemed like I was in the clear, I just had to find a funny picture of... a DevRant ad... "Oh what's that app? Didn't you have that one?"
Then a client walked in!!!
Never have I been, nor will I even be, so relieved to have a client storm into the office!

So ya its almost mid April, deadline is end of April and 20% of APIs are not yet ready and mobile app has barely 50% of pages done.
This is going to be a fun project to work on, I was asked to join the team couple of weeks ago

What is even more funny I still have no clue what this project does, I'm just creating UI based on what the designer (that started a month ago) delivered just a week ago -- Three weeks before final deadline

Saw a counting variable in code. It was a necessary counting variable, so that is not what this is about.

However, this is a US based company that has a somewhat PC (no cursing) and professional cultural facade.

This variable was called "cnt". How the hell did that one not get caught in peer review? I have gotten dinged for having "possibly offensive" variable names (think Point5Hit though I have never written that as a variable name). It was funny. But I have changed it because that's just lazy.

We have a standalone api acting as a legacy adapter to our actual api, and as you can imagine it's a festering hellpit of hacks and workarounds which is not intended to be maintained after its EOL.

I recently had a dream - more of a nightmare - where our actual api had to support the legacy calls indefinitely.

I told our PO about it as a funny anecdote and he gave me 3 days off.

!rant
How about a feed where people can ask for help?

I know there are sites such as stack overflow for things like that, but I find devrant's community to be a lot more friendly and just better overall.

Also I believe it would be kinda funny if the questions would not be required to be 100% dev related.

It's always so funny when a person starts using multiprocessing in Python, because if there's "multi", obviously THIS is the thing that should free the person from a headache of having GUI frozen. You know, because it does "multiple" ehm... stuff..... at once....... yeah. And it's popular, it must work for me too! Oh how often I see this. :D

Stupidly enough that's not entirely a user's fault, but Python's as naming things with "multi" doesn't end up well basically with anything. I bet if there was such thing as multipointer in C half of the beginners would be totally fucked and the other one would just break their machines beyond repair with a joy.

Yet... reading the damn documentation should be a requirement before using threading or multiprocessing to prevent the confusion, because there's this funny difference between multiple threads and multiple processes which will haunt you unless you see what's what and use it correctly.

Anyone knows of some legitimate require names that sound funny?

I was inspecting the google stock api with Ruby. Just fucking around with the console and used the pretty printer for which the require reads as:

require 'pp'

And i could not stop laughing even though I have known of this lib for a while now.

I know...i am immature as fuck but this made me laugh a lot.

404 bottle not found...

I use a stand on of of my laptops, so the thing is normally inclined.

Today i just decided to lay it flad and noticed a strange purring sound coming from one of the fans.

I just thought it was funny since I don't recall of a time in which the laptop was not flat

"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."

He got me. I'm so done for...

Pretty funny, cause maybe half a year ago there was an attack against my email, but I'm pretty sure he got stopped because of the 2FA. Not to mention that I immediately changed it for a password x times stronger than whay I had before 🤷‍♂️

It’s not funny when you don’t know how your code works.

Taking a class at my local university for fun where the point of the class is to build some kind of project for local companies. The teacher talks a lot about Wordpress and how great it is... He's not a dev, and has only worked as a business consultant/pm.... It's gonna be a long semester, but at least he's funny and has good choices in tv shows to include in his lectures.

People need to stop trying to be funny when writing change logs. Just stick to the facts.

Not Christian, but this is funny.

Aye, I almost fight with everybody at work(they always think it is funny). I'm not good at listening to others when it comes to dev convo (like related to coding or some logic stuff).

So it is like someone is explaining to me that this should be like this and in between, I ask 100questions like "why like this? why not like this?","but what if I just skip it?" etc

and they always go like, "Someone is going to kill you so badly".

That's it.

There is a kid in my Computer Studies class that will not for any reason stop playing Bo Burnham songs. He also thinks it's funny to play every sound in our Flash library that the teacher gives us. kill Me now

Not here nor in my prior workplace I have seen any prank. And actually I like this a lot. Don't we have enough shit to go through to tease each other with antiquated, stupid tricks that weren't even funny in the century of their invention? Maybe I am just a humorless German,.. but wouldn't that be part of any professional attitude?

h3ll seemed to express a similar thing, but probably she deleted her account. So we are in devrant without hell. May the memes rule like in fezbook-h3ll.

Shit week....

Defragmentation of several applications codebase(s), sifting out duplicate code and creating a library out of it. Bash.

Not funny.

Yesterday while cooking I was too fast.
Chopping board with adjustable cutting depth, was at 6mm. Right thumb. Full speed. :(

Boy that wasn't pretty. Bled for half an hour and created quite a mess while trying to find some band aid to get pressure on it. Guess I'll have fun the next week's as no thumb is pretty handicapped .

And today we have in Germany a pretty severe snow storm.

I really hope that the server rooms @ company don't get flooded or shit like that.

I'm testing that functions in a service I made are accessible to activities that bind to it and this is what I call to ensure that

This is not even funny anymore. This Windows get dumber with every release? Nothing about what it does.. or how is the progress..

Disclaimer!!!
Do at your own risk.
-----------------------------------
- Take a strong magnet, like a neodymium magnet.
- Hold it in your hand.
- Move your hand across a Macbook 15"'s keyboard. Say from left to right or vice versa. Almost touching they keys.

You'll see the screen dimming. If you just hold it there for a little longer, it'll lock your macbook. It's funny, but I am not sure if it's doing some damage to hardware.

Why do technical interviewers expect and force you to know a made-up word such as SOLID and treat it as if it's a gospel?

Is this "SOLID" a technical standard now that should be taught in schools?

I'm not against learning and using the principles in SOLID. I just find it funny (and weird) that if I didn't watch the talk by the guy who came up with SOILD, I wouldn't be able to answer the interviewer.

Note: this is a joke, it's not code related.

Someone goes to a restaurant, and he asks what they got, and the reply to him: "we have a crochet leg, a chopped liver and ligaments"

He says back: "don't tell me about your problems" XD

My life is like...

When someone you hate says something funny and you try not to laugh. :P

Bruh, it hurts so deep

Ok who is the Cordova dev that thought it would be funny to make the indices from the confirmation box start at 1 and not mention it in the docs?!

The funny thing is that a lot of stuff feels cool when it's not you doing it. Once you've learned it, done it, it becomes mundane, easy, boring, simple.
All that I have to go on is the memory of my naive self who thought something was cool, before me doing it, and the excitement of the moment, to have done it. After that it feels like boasting to a fireman about putting out a candle with 2 wet fingers.

They were fucking not. I used to get shouted at because I spend too much time infront of a computer. But funny enough everything was fine as soon as I started making more money than my parents while still being in high school. Now they take credit for my success but back in the day I needed to fight with them in order to get few hours of pc time.

I've always found it funny when sql errors "at or near" a character. I don't know enough about sql to understand why it does that (although I'm sure there a reason!)....but it just sounds like it's not trying hard enough 😂

Maybe someone smarter can explain?

010010010111010000100111011100110010000001100001001000000111010001110010011000010111000000100001

It is so funny how this PM got dizzy when I started detailing all the possibilities of her generic requirements and asking for clarification and we started drawing how the fuck she wants in to be.

But "just put all data on the report" should be simple, right?

Not a 2 hours discussion on one topic out of 10, right?

Not.

Somebody reminded me of a funny story from high school. I was in the hallway before the bell which was not allowed.

Teacher: Demo! What are you doing in the hallway?!

Me: It is only a couple of minutes before the bell...

Teacher: Demo! A cop could give you a ticket for going a couple of miles over the speed limit!

Me: Yes, but he wouldn't...

Teacher: Demo! A cop would give you a ticket for being ugly!

Me: If they did that you would be in prison!

Teacher: Demo! Get the hell out of here!

What things do people around you keep repeating related to programming?

For me it is surely "linux is soooo permissive", which is true but still funny when people start saying it unrelated and simply as a mean to jokingly explain why something doesn't work how is supposed to. Even if the problem is not even on a computer

!rant
tl;dr: programmer's excuse vs civilian excuse funny moment in conversation w/ gf

pertinent info: gf has access to my calendar; I added my class schedule for the upcoming semester earlier today

gf: you're taking human psychology where as im taking human development lol

me: I'm taking human psychology?
wat

gf: <screenshot of my calendar entry (it's human physiology)>
see

me: OH
Physiology
!=psychology
psybnlogy
close enough
the human brain's word recognition relies on lossy compression
not my fault
.-.

gf: ohhhhhh
I don't have my glasses on and my computer is far so that's my excuse lol

me: LOL
I assumed I misread it
didn't even double check your spelling

!dev
„Keep 2m distance“...
Funny.. as if I would get that close to other humans..

Jokes aside, I feel uncomfortable if I’m less than 1.5m to another person and I avoid touching at all cost by nature.. Except for family but they are not in my country anyway. I think I’ll be fine..

#ImALonelyBastard

"Hello. I am team-member-1 from GitLab, I am ok, thank you!"
This is the most wanted rant that I would love to see here.