CSS - keep guessing the values until it looks fine.

Conversation today...

Guy: "Hey I need a real quick script to pull some values out of an XML document...is that possible?"

Me: "Uh...yeah that's pretty simple if that's all it has to do."

Guy: "Ok excellent I'll send you some files and documentation."

Me: "Ok so is this like a one time use thing or do you need to parse multiple of these?"

Guy: "Actually it needs to run all the time, on this specific PC, watch directories for any files that are added, then generate a XLSX files of the values, and also log information to a database. Etc"

Me: "Oh that adds quite a bit of complexity from what you originally said. It's going to take more time."

Guy: "But you said it was easy."

Well fuck you...

Me: Can we do this with your module?

Creator: Yes

Me: How?

Creator: By adding the need values. Please see the docs. :)

Me: You have no documentation on this feature besides, "yes."

*Creator has closed ticket.*

Found this code back in jQuery 1.9.1. Checked again, and t is still here in jQuery 3.1.0. Suppose it is just in case the values of true and false ever change 😃

Indentation check
Hardecoded values check
Kickass logic check

This is the best program that I have seen in my entire life.

Had to explain a developer from a wordpress dev agency where to find the wp-config.php file and what it does/what the values do.

This person has been doing this for years.

I looked at this config file for nearly the first time in my life.

I literally had to explain her which variables stood for/did/meant what.

I am fucking done with today.

One of my interview question for fresh graduates was to switch 2 variable values without adding a new variable.

I was expecting something like

a= readline()
b= readline()
a+= b
b= a - b
a-= b

And some kid answered:

a= readline()
b= readline()
print("a=" + b)
print("b=" + a)

I ain't even mad

Can y'all share some good programming questions for interviewing fresh graduates?

It's official, guys! .NET bool variables can now have only the values true and 1!

There are in fact three unique Boolean values.
Their names are "true", "false", and
java.lang.NullPointerException
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke0(Native Method)
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(NativeMethodAccessorImpl.java:39)
at sun.reflect.DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.java:25)
at java.lang.reflect.Method.invoke(Method.java:597)
...

Working on colour related feature, slamming my head on the desk because the GUI is showing wrong colors.

Then I realized they are using BGR values instead of RGB. WTF WHY

Not getting into linux/foss an dumping windows/other proprietary bullshit earlier. The friends I've made through this world, the passion, the ideology behind it...

I fucking wish I'd have found out about this at a way earlier age or even begin raised with those values.

Dear backend dev:
No data is not an error for fuck sake. Don't want 404, or messages if the search criteria filters out all values. Give me a empty array.
Is this hard to understand that we need a team meeting to discuss?
Godamit

Two nginx config files for two different sites.

Both exactly the same except for the fastcgi location, document root and virtual host.

THE MOTHERFUCKING GET VALUES DOESN'T REWRITE PROPERLY WITH ONE OF THEM BUT IT WORKS PER-FUCKING-FECTLY WITH THE OTHER ONE.

GO SUCK A COCK NGINX. AND NO I'M NOT SWITCHING TO APACHE.

Why the fuck would you assign two new values to the same variable in consecutive lines like that ? I swear this project is driving me nuts. Fuck the dev who wrote this.

So today, our "senior tester" logged a bug because he "Viewed Page Source" on the web based report he's testing and the Year values are hard coded! So 2017 will have to added manually!
I burst out laughing so hard, all my colleagues think I'm having a mental breakdown.

Oh, that feeling when you learn the entry level dev, with no useful knowledge, gets paid more than you...
Priceless...

It was a basic java lesson. We had four values that we stored in a array. We had to make some calculations with the values. Then we had to sort those four values. That's the solution our teacher proposed:
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[2] > arr[3]) {
int temp = arr[2];
arr[2] = arr[3];
arr[3] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}

"Is there a way to iterate over enum values in Rust like in Java"

"No, because they are more powerful"

🤔🤔🤔

Programmers’ Day is celebrated on the 256th day of the year – chosen because this is the number of distinct values that can be represented with an eight-bit byte, and the highest power of two which is less than 365.

Me: Hans, Get ze Flammenwerfer!!!
Hans: Why?
Me: They use long instead of big decimal!
Hans: How do they handle the floating values then?
Me: Before sending the request they multiply by 100 and on receiving they divide by 100

Working on a database priorly designed and maintained by some private agency.

The fuck I'm dealing with!

Boolean values stored as 'TRUE'/'FALSE'. It's varchar, my dudes.

There are no FK relations. Just the values of IDs in a column.

There are no indexes, all on just the PKs, nothing else. Nothing.

Null, what's that? I'm dealing with 'N/A', my dudes.

Unique key, what's that? The table which stores users has all the fields nullable. Email is not unique ( even though that's the required behaviour).

ALL the numeric values are stored as varchar. Varchar, my dudes. Varchar. '1', '1.1'

And finally, the good ole, 1 table to rule them all. Normalisation, fuck that.

And what's the root cause of all this? My PM used to hand them Excel sheets she maintains on her local system. FTW. I don't have a enough explanations.

“Never,never, never, NEVER eat raw userinput“

Referring to stuff like “insert into foo (bar) values ($_POST[username])“

HELL. YES.

I wrote a complex grid rendering system in c++!

It accepts pixel values and * values (Grid values)

Works very similar to WPF grid, which I LOVE.

The few lines of code needed (On the front end, at least) to do this are in the comments. VERY FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A MATHS PART OF MY RENDERER WORKING FOR TWO DAYS NOW AND IT HAS BEEN WORKING THE WHOLE TIME BUT I WAS USING THE WRONG VALUES TO TEST IT THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME I WANT TO DIE

I applaud my coworker who titled the business analytics dashboard showing end user feedback and CES values projected onto the 6 meter high wall of the office lobby.

"International Normalized Customer Effort Score Tracker"

Business User: Hey can we get a sample output you plan to send us?

Me: yes heres a mock

BU: This doesn't look right, can you use real values?

Me (said nicely): WELL IF WHEN YOU WROTE THE FCKIN REQUIREMENTS WEREN'T SO VAGUE AND ACTUALLY PROVIDED REAL VALUES FOR THE INPUTS WE WOULD GET AND WHAT WE SHOULD OUTPUT USING THEM MAYBE I COULD GIVE YOU A BETTER SAMPLE... AND DO LESS GUESSING ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU ACTUALLY WANT...

BU: Oh I forwarded some data

Me: *looks at input data*

(thoughts) THIS FUCKING MAKES NO SENSE!! NOWHERE DOES ANYTHING LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU WANTED.... HOW ABOUT I PULL MAGIC VALUES OUT OF MY ASS?

Product team having a proof of concept demo with client:

Sales to client: "Just for the record, we are not selling this to a rival company. Because we really want this technology exclusive to you"

Me (thinking to myself): "Oh really? We just had a demo with them last 2 weeks"

One of the core values of our company is Integrity, and I am not just seeing it.

There are two records in this table.

I can confirm that the second one is currently being pulled.

One of the values I see getting pulled is different than either two of the records.

😶

All these values are currency.
I smell trouble here 🙄

When you find php booleans values with capital first letters, and then you see this .....

🎵 it's my birthday... It's my birthday... It's my birthday...🎵

Yesterday tried to hack the cash value in Dirt 4... Used Cheat Engine and tried editing the values to 999,999,999 but didn't work. The values (multiple address) don't update in the game.

Well tonight I started the game again just to play a bit.... And I see the credits are... 999,999,999!!!!!

Oh and yes it actually is my birthday today lol

YOU CANNOT parse CSV by just splitting the string by commas.

YOU CANNOT generate CSV by just outputting the raw values separated by commas.

CSV is not the magical parseless data format. You need to read fields in quotations, and newlines inside of fields shouldn't prematurely end the row.

Do it fucking right holy shit.

So the CEO called me down about a super urgent bug that needs to be fixed or we will loose several hundred thousand pounds of business.

I rush down to his office and there he has a graph "look the values are barely moving i would expect the values to be more erratic this time of day"

*i look at the graph*

"Errrr your looking at 02:00 in the morning, it's 14:00"

Boss: ahh good spot *looks at 14:00* yea that looks good, great job.

If you would start your own company what would be the core values of its culture?

Context: we analyzed data from the past 10 years.

So the fuckface who calls himself head of research tried to put blame on me again, what a surprise. He asked for a tool what basically adds a lot of numbers together with some tweakable stuff, doesnt really matter. Now of course all the datanwas available already so i just grabbed it off of our api, and did the math thing. Then this turdnugget spends 4 literal weeks, tryna feed a local csv file into the program, because he 'wanted to change some values'. One, this isnt what we agreed on, he wanted the data from the original. When i told him this, he denied it so i had to dig out a year old email. Two, he never explicitly specified anything so i didnt use a local file because why the fuck would i do that. Three, i clearly told him that it pulls data from the server. Four, what the fuck does he wanna change past values for, getting ready for time travel? Five, he ranted for like 3 pages, when a change can be done by currentVal - changedVal + newVal, even a fucking 10 year old could figure that out. Also, when i allowed changes in a temporary api, he bitched about how the additional info, what was calculated from yet another original dataset, doesnt get updated, when he fucking just randimly changes values in the end set. Pinnacle of professionalism.

Apart from the technical reasons and such. I use Linux because it feels good. And it makes me happy. You should never forget about the soft values.

( bad english alert )
Why everybody from my school class, saying "Windows is better than linux, because windows don't have commands like linux"

Working with guy, who don't know how to use git ☺️🔫

Image : TL; but do dear.

Had human values and professional ethics test today.
This was a question.
Would like to hear the views of some professionals in here.

Devs: We fixed a bug, so watch out for some changes.
Management: The new values are too bad, you need to change it back.
Devs: But ... it was a bug?
Management: Rollback ... now!

I swear, the moment shareholders are involved, management is just about who has the best lie.

"An error has occurred. Please try again."

WELL WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ERROR? WHY CANT YOU TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THE ERROR YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT.

I shouldn't need to submit a form 23 fucking times, changing field values each time, because of an uninformative fucking error message.

Psst, hey .
When you copy that shitty line 8 times, you will end up with nasty bugs later cause the shit will look the same and you won't understand they're getting values from the same variable.
Don't.

At my last startup, the company decided to formally adopt core values after being in business for ten years already. They even emblazoned them on a mouse pad and sent it out to every employee as company swag. I quickly learned that those values were more for show. It was a sign of the culture going downhill. Values included teamwork and collaboration. But since I was only an IC and wasn’t a manager or director or VP, I was expected to be a mindless worker bee. Even when I just asked logical followup questions, I was treated like I was being insubordinate and “questioning their requests.”

Thanks to the developer who decided to release his library with no documentation and hard coded values .. 10 hours well wasted !

fuck.
I think when you need 20 minutes to figure out that you tried to use (0) to acces array values instead of [0] in Java it is time to go to bed.

a friend of mine told me about how he hacked this website

all he did was opening the dev-tools in chrome and changing some values...

Spent yesterday afternoon trying to extract the logic from a VBA macro written by civil engineers so that we can encode the same logic in the applications we're writing.

Sweet Jesus.

500 lines of meaningless variable names and loops reading values from various spreadsheets into a 3 dimensional array(!).

On top of that, now that I kind of understand what it's doing, I don't think it's ever worked properly.

I sent an email to a client asking for values in the database only they can access so I can finish an application and test it.... they reply asking for a new feature on the application and completely ignore my request for said values. then another person CCed on the email replies and agrees with the feature request and we should do xyz. still no values from him either. wtfff?

In my day off I was eager to try overclocking in my pc and this is how it went:

- Fucked up overclocking parameters for cpu and ram speed.

- BIOS is broken, had to take out gpu to do a reset taking out the bios battery.

- BIOS is up again, default values loaded, bla bla

- Did not try to fuck off anymoar with overclocking, just kept playing star wars and went to sleep safe and sound like a baby.

- Gotta work now. docker does not start, closes itself after tried to start, docker panic, I panic, tried to uninstall, tried to update. nothing works

- Then I remember bios default values leaves virtualization off. enables it again, docker still not working. I panic again, restarted pc like 10 times between disabling/enabling hyper-v in windows.

- Docker dies. not gonna change my overclock options again. silly me 🤦‍♂️

Somebody created a new database field of type varchar(10) and then filled it with the string 'NULL' for every row. Now, everybody is having to figure out for themselves that these aren't actual NULL values when running scripts.

Country where you wish to work as developer ? ( if there is a reason and you wish to specify it, you can )

Mine is - Netherland ( for it's care for animals, environment & beauty ) or New Zealand or Estonia or japan ( good people with ethics and values ).
There were my observations, and I could be wrong

You know what fkn sucks? I was so fkn excited to join the company. It was a dream job for me. I loved everything about it. The stack, the concept, the core values, everything.
Fast forward 3 years and I no longer recognize the company I joined. Went from customer first to revenue first. No other vision than increase sales. Heart fkn breaking...

College: This is the debugging mode This is a breakpoint. Here you can see the variable values.

Work: print "asfadadadda" and variables and delete lines until it throws a different exception

Virtual stocks over 3 months. I think i'm ready for the real thing.

(All values in euros since there aren't any simulators like this that use USD.)

Eeeeh... Thanks for saving me Gimp XD

(says that I am trying to create an image that will be 155,8GB)

I just casually squared one equation by entering the final value into both width and height values, oops :D

You know what kind of devs I hate?
- The "Oh I never worked with it so its shit"
- The "I dont wanna learn something new"
- The "You can use JavaScript for this and everything else"
- The Pro ++ Ultra Dev who never heard of modulization and layering
- The hard coded values guy

Wow, I still remember some math after decades. Today, I needed some parameter calculation in an interval with smooth transition at both ends (i.e. continuously differentiable). So I used a 3rd degree polynomial where the values and derivations gave a 4x4 linear equation system. I lazily hacked that into WolframAlpha, and it works nicely.

It took straight 2 minutes to send 3 values to their server and even then it failed, just fucking great, what fills my eyes with blood is how calm the message is supposed to sound, you fuck can't receive opt-outs over https, what?!

Dear fellow project member,

I agree that most code should explain itself, but if you need to use a certain method which requires you to pass several different values of the same type and you just pass values as you like and then get, as you like to call it, 'unexpected behavior', then that is YOUR F***ING PROBLEM.

I DO know your thoughts about documenting code and I DO know you think documenting code only delays the progress, but if you for once could please CHECK THE DOCUMENTATION I WROTE, there would be no need to message me EVERY FIVE BLOODY MINUTES to complain about something that actually works when used right, just because you are too lazy to read the docs!

If you would do that next time, at least the time i spend writing documentation for our project would not be COMPLETELY WASTED! 😤

Kind Regards

Manager : I wish to upload an excel sheet from my browser, and based on *some conditions*, could you please highlight the cells with incorrect values.

Me: And then download the new edited sheet with highlighted cells, right?

Manager: No just change the file that I have on my desktop. So I can repeat whenever I need, with the same file.

Me: :/

My current new boss is pretty awesome. When he arrived, we were a lot of juniors dev crumbling under pressure. He directly went to product team and to sales team and totally reduced our workload to something acceptable.
He values sane work environment a lot, and I think that's what make a good boss

My senior just created this beauty of an API...

Mixing undefined/null values with empty strings & random hyphens for other variables. And the phone number not following standarised notation (we are a telephone provider)

So, my car's odometer finally rolled over to 100,000 here a couple weeks ago. Been having fun watching it hit various binary values again (100001, 100010, etc.).

TL:DR
Why do so shitty "API"s exist that are even harder to write than proper ones? D:

Trying to hack my venilation at home.
This API is so horrible D:
The API is only based on POST requests no matter if you want to write values or get values and the response only contains XML with cryptic values like:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<PARAMETER>
<LANG>de</LANG>
<ID>v01306</ID>
<VA>00011100000000000000000010000001</VA>
<ID>v00024</ID>
<VA>0</VA>
<ID>v00033</ID>
<VA>2</VA>
<ID>v00037</ID>
<VA>0</VA>

Also there are multiple API routes like
POST /data/werte1.xml
POST /data/werte2.xml
POST /data/werte3.xml
POST /data/werte4.xml
And actually the real API route is only given in the request body and not in the path.

Why is this so shitty? D:<

Btw in terms of security this is also top notch. It just globally saves if one computer sends the login password.
I mean why even ask for a password then? D:
That made me end up with a cronjob to send a login request so I don't have to login on any device.

PS:
You see, great piece of German engineering.

did all the work and showed it to client . a person came and did just formating/ui , even values were populated by me .
Now he is the one who did everything. even client appreciated his effort of 4 hours.
Fuck this company.

Was accused of plagiarism because I could write a bubble sort algorithm without a reference (and therefore without a source) in my SECOND year of courses.

Their low expectations bit them in the ass when the admin. made all undergrads take a basic test (for loop going through an array, average of values, etc) and lots of people in their third year failed.

Was debugging locally why my bot was inserting the same values twice into the database only to then realise my heroku worker was still on..

Update on ConsoleWidgets project:

Unit system is done, and much improved from the last project. Included a new class which mimics the CSS "calc()" - allowing you to mix pixel (Or, in console terms, cell) values and percentage values. The screenshot shows 100% - 10c

Color system in functional! In the screenshot you see the aforementioned widget colored devRant light purple! Not to mention retaining the original transparent color for the window background.

Next up: style class (maybe) and layout management classes (for sure!)

Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!

Just learned the previous dev team thought a db column with a value of NULL or "Y" was a great way to handle boolean values.

Zero Days documentary about stuxnet malware features a "identity protected" NSA employee who reveals information about classified NSA tactics.

She claims "I would NEVER compromise ongoing operations in the field."

Well it's too bad that Amazon Prime Video and IMDB don't share your values. They have compromised your name, Joanne Tucker, and the other films you were in.

Nice acting though. You really have people believing you were a real source!

When the previous dev has written all datetime query lookups by date only, resulting in any values for the ladt day of the month to not be included.

THANK YOU.

Same wanker has copied and pasted same 100 lines of code over and over and literally changed one value in between. Obviously never heard of a function.

Wondering why your form isn't submitting any data to the db.
Spending half an hour checking all POST-Variables and functions in your script multiple times to see if they give the correct values (they do).
Finally realizing you wrote 'INSERT INRO' in your SQL statement.
Questioning your intelligence for the rest of the day.

Client is setting up Google Suite, needs me to create a TXT record. She sends me a screenshot of the record that needs to be created, so I ask her to copy/paste the record values .... she copy and pastes the URL and sends that to me. I ask again for her to copy the values in the fields on the page and send them to me ... she sends me another screenshot. How do these people get through a day?

Using cookies for verification and validation without encrypting the values which should have been handled in the backend without any use of cookies.
I wonder how vulnerable by website was...

A form for an order checkout has a fucking stupid select box for comments... Options like "knock loudly" or "Ring doorbell"... 🤔

My wife had no way to put in a comment to say it needed to go to level 2! So I took over, inspected the element to make sure it wasn't using ID values for these stupid values, then replaced it with a text area with the same control ID, name and class.

Problem solved, felt like such a ninja 😉

Dealing with garbage js framework devs who use hundreds of fixed width CSS values in a dynamic page

Being told code is "production ready" only to find this:
if name == 'foo' or name == 'bar' or name == 'someothershit'
What's wrong with:
if name in ['foo','bar', 'someothershit']?

Oh and they had 10 different values they were matching, not just 3. What kind of joker am I dealing with?

Trying to work with an API that has no response object (it just returns empty arrays if something breaks) and it's JSON is not key-value.. just a bunch of dynamic nested values. just wow.

Sport Festival today

I'm in the IT course and responsible for injecting data into DBs.

I asked some 11-graders if they would pay for better values ;D

"As you can see, my boss really values a quality IT setup..." - /r/techsupportgore

Reading JS written by “creative” types:

var myArray = []; //un-sorted values

var SortedArray = myArray.sort();

OrderedHtmlElement.innerText = myArray[0];

Look here if you are going to do it wrong at least commit to the wrongdoing!!!

Just reminiscing when back in the "old days" video games had cheats built in...

Proton men and the flying Dutchman IN AOE3...

Now have to find hackers to create trainer apps that change values in memory and bypass cheat detection...

First !rant. I'm working on a 2d game using Game Maker at school and I just wounder if putting constants up this way makes you cringe. Is there a better way? This code is only run when switching to a weapon and he values can be put into the shooting script itself. I just want to know how you put in mass constants in general coding or even at all.

"No signature of method: build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1.android() is applicable for argument types: (build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1$_run_closure2) values: [build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1$_run_closure2@5edbe9fa]"

Thank You gradle. This is very useful.... FML

Fuck c++
Everytime I have to use this fucking language it spits up some other bullshit error

`cannot convert std::vector<int>() to std::vector<int>&`

WHY THE FUCK ARE STACK ALLOCATED VALUES EVEN THEIR OWN TYPES

AND WHY CANT I TAKE A GOD DAMN REFERENCE TO IT

JUST WHYYYYY

concious inclusion training: we want you to talk and share about a bunch of shit that's illegal to ask in interviews: age,sex, orientation, family status, religion, values, gender identity, ethnicity etc

what the fuck do any of these things even have to do with the job?

im confused but whatever

Pro tip: using enums you can make a type that can be one of two values. Perfect for control structures! #codelikeapro

Biking out to the beach on Saturday I remembered I forgot to remove a log.warn("cuntface", values) before committing on Friday.

One thing when working with a ton of data:
If there is a slight, infinitesimal probability that something will be wrong, then it will 100% be wrong.

Never make assumptions that data is consistent, when dealing with tens of gigabytes of it, unless you get it sanitized from somewhere.

I've already seen it all:
* Duplicates where I've been assured "these are unique"
* In text fields that contain exclusively numeric values, there will always be some non-numeric values as well
* There will be negative numbers in "number sequences starting with 1"
* There will be dates in the future, and in the far far future, like 20115 in the future.
* Even if you have 200k customers, there will be a customer ID that will cause an integer overflow.

Don't trust anything. Always check and question everything.

Basically, i very like php, but i don't know why

Why is Google so bad in creating good documentations for their API ?

I send exactly what they specify and on some values I just get a 400. thanks for nothing

Okay today I wrote a very ugly api.. No f***king json mapper will handle that response in java. The values are dynamic... Good luck to anyone who will integrate into it... And good luck to anyone who will look at my code
Project manager please always give realistic deadlines

Thanks Airtel for tweeting me your variable names!

This will lead me to the great good. Thank you for showing me the way to attainment of peace and immense control of myself and the world...

NOW FUCKING SHOW THE VALUES OF THE VARIABLES!!!!

Wanna get pissed off? Have a client complain about a penny difference on a report, and not specify how they want values rounded. It'll work, GUARANTEED

I HATE my router
Why the hell did virgin media think it was a good idea to NOT let me port forward ports LESS THAN I’ve already set up

WHO THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!?

Its so fucking annoying, I’ve had to remove all of my set up ports just to add ports with low values too many times AaaAAAaa

Copy and paste similar code where I have to change X values but ALWAYS mange to only change X-1 values so i get weird behaviour start debugging what in the end then takes longer than to write it new in the first place. Hate myself for that.

I wrote a Rust script in 10 minutes or so that processes several GiB's big ISO files and it calculates its values so fast, that most time is spent waiting for the HDD! Look at the CPU usage and the disk read/write stats :D

(No, the picture is not fake, it's a real screenshot from my desktop edited with Gimp)

I cant believe its impossible to find a dev job even with a computer science degree. What have I wasted 6 years of my life for then if no one values a degree? Fuck you

my work drives me crazy sometimes, our production tables dont have primary keys or indexes. There are several tables who are basically the same, most scripts/reports are hacked together with no common agreement on dates/values and as a result, it is almost impossible to check whether values are correct or not.

I see lots of ranting about bosses or team members.

My boss values me a lot and my team is open to discussing amd value my opinion.

What the fuck to I rant about? fml

"storing_values = {} # storing_values is a dictionary which stores the required values" - Medium tutorial.

... what in the fuck.

Asked to implement a feature in a mobile app that wasn't actually supported by the backend. Feature had 3 possible values in the backend, only 1 and 2 were properly implemented. Below was the backend teams solution to support the third option.

- If the key is missing in API response A, means the user is not allowed access this feature.
- If the key is present in API response A, and missing from API response B, that means it hasn't been set.
- If both are the same value, user has that value.
- It will never be the case that both return option 3.
- If both are different values, one of them being option 3, display option 3.

this ... monstrosity, is in production to this very day.

Bloody fucking Crystal. Lame fucking excuse for a reporting engine product.
Can’t change data source from API for a report containing List of Values at runtime.
What the actual fuck! A reporting system where I can’t change the data source.
Die in hell you Fucking blood sucking leeches. Die of malaria!

! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.

1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.

Functional test are failing.

Expected: 7109
Got: 9000

Grep code-base for 7109. No findings. 0_o

Dig through test setup written by a drunk.

Find:

assert(actualPrice === 1800 * conversionRate)

Goddamnit. You shall not calculate your expected values in a test setup.

Our dev uses laravel and instead of doing a sum to get a total of a couple columns he is getting all values and manually counting them up in the php.
he keeps telling he cant improve and i cant work on his code because i know i will break the rest.
when i looked at the code i had the following feeling.

I was given two lists of values in an excel spreadsheet and I needed to compare/find duplicates. I wrote some JavaScript to handle it. I don't know how to use fucking Excel.

Why does the css border-spacing have to be different in how it takes 2 values.

If you look at margin and padding properties when passing in 2 values, you pass in:

margin: (top/bottom)px (left/right)px;

However, when using border spacing:

border-spacing: (left/right)px (top/bottom)px;

I know I’m simplifying here, but it’s goddamn irritating how it’s takes in vertical and horizontal spacing the other way around. Who the hell thought that was a good idea

I have a random question:

What values do you guys live with?

And how can I make sure I live my life with highest possible values?

The squad here is most raw and honest. I have seen you folks stick to what you believe in and stand up against the evil even if costs you or makes you sacrifice somethings.

Really want to be a better human and seems like my next phase of life would be dedicated to this.

Reinforcement learning is going to be my end. 😩😩😩☠️

(currently stuck at how to put images as well as a bunch of other -motor- values as input... and exactly what am I getting as output again?)

Pulling my own hair out... Ooooooof

Setting up npm private registry and mirror is like setting up machine for handling ddos attack.

Last time I was tuning linux kernel tcp ip stack by adjusting default variable values was ages ago but if you see 100 open sockets in a matter of second after you try to install single frontend dependency you start questioning your life.

I updated all the records about 1000+ because I forgot to write the where clause with the update query and it updated every fucking single row with same values.
~God bless backups :)

Best conversation I ever had with a manager.

Pulls me off into a meeting and in the same breath tells me he values my opinion, must not argue with him and he does not want "yes" men. Lol

Name one thing more fun than atomically writing values into a gpu buffer and them mysteriously vanishing into the aether immediately after the compute shader invocation

I can literally see them in the buffer using RenderDoc and then as soon as I go to the next command the buffer is completely filled with zeros again as if the values never existed

?? like how ??

Customer: "There are only 'X' values in COLUMN_D, your - report - import is wrong!"
Me: select count(*) from table_a where column_d is not in ('X') -> returns more than a thousand... Yeah please only scroll within a couple hundreds of records in your shitty sql client gui without making queries. Fuckhead.

WHY THE FUCK DOES RUNKIT RETURN A SHORTENED STRING?!?!? I SPENT 3 FUCKING DAYS DEBUGGING BECAUSE 2 VALUES WERENT THE SAME.

AAAAA

Demo

Backend Team : No one want to listen to technical details. A short 2 min demo what we have done.
Shareholders : Have you done anything?

Frontend Team : half an hour demo of validators and fields that sum values from other fields
Shareholders: Wow that is awesome, great job, nice to see, great value, lot of progress.

I just don't get people designing database tables using VARCHAR/VARCHAR2 for columns that have numeric values in them, then use them as row identifiers.

I simply don't.

Snartsheet requires checkbox values of "true" or "false"

Microsoft Flow only passes booleans as "True" and "False" so the API rejects the data.

Recently I've been considering switching to another job. I've been at my current employer my entire working carreer, and a switch might be a healthy choice soon. My current working environment is changing (and not for the best in my opnion), and I have never really looked over the fence. I've also felt that my current job lacks some real meaning.

I currently work on software for logistical purposes, but I don’t feel that my work aligns with my values, or that it tries to solve issues that are important to me.

I have received many job offers with higher pay and benefits, but again, none that really work on issues that I find important.

My question to you is wether (and if so: how much) you let your values and ethics weigh in your choice of an employer/project. And are you willing to offer up (financial) benefits for a job that aligns better with your values?

Sure you can specify svg object attributes x, y, width and height in metric values like mm and after put things on paper get same printed output but if you want to transform svg object you need to calculate new values by yourself cause you can’t simply provide translate (10mm, 10mm).

Now I ended up with manually converting values to mm.

Making free transform tool for exact document data rendering inside browser is pain in the ass.

I started to wonder how google docs or microsoft word for web deal with this stuff.

Something I discovered at work today:

A sub procedure that takes three arguments:

A table name
Column list
Where clause

It concatenates all of those values together and executed the dynamically generated query.

Why??????????

Taking over the blog for our companies CSS code as it was unresponsive, due to FIXED values. The fun part was roasting the guy who wrote this before me :p

When you gotta learn those hard coded values for a practical exam cause your professor doesn't accept other values:)
#feelsEngineeringInIndiaMan

Should I really consider SAR values when buying a new smartphone nowadays?

* break it into elementary steps, small enough to fit into your "estimation time unit", e.g. days or hours.
* estimate those steps for "developing at a leisurely pace" if nothing goes wrong.
* think about "what could go wrong" (list everything!) and adjust values accordingly.
* adjust total amount with experience values, like:
* times 1.2 for every manager
* times 1 to 4 based on which legacy projects i have to touch

and finally:
* multiply with `1+log(t/u,2)`, with `u` being the amount of useful data in the requirement description and `t` being the total amount of data in the requirement description
* sample: with our current "favourite" customer, about 90% of all tickets is garbage, so t/u = 100/10 = 10 => log(10,2) = 3.3 => multiply everything with 4.3

Dividing currency values across new invoices results in ball aching rounding issues.

Finally solved it and there's no one around to high five.

Today I spent 4 hours testbenching and enhancing an algorithm to detect certain metric patterns only to find out that the reason the anomalies weren't picked up correctly was that their metric had some -nan values I didn't check for.... FML

Working on something...

-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?

Attempt a few fixes...

-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?

Attempt other changes...

-Why is it still not working!?

Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...

-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?

Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...

-...Why does it work now...

God damn it, if you (libGDX) have default values for public methods then make those constants public. Now I am writing wrapper and I either create my constant with same value as your private one, or do some reflection black magic which will probably break after obfuscation. *sigh* Going with my copy of the constant, not happy about that...

how do you all make something that youre unfamiliar with? i mean like something uncommon and strange that youd have to figure out. currently, i have to determine the radius of someones eyeball when the only thing i have is the distance between two eyes. how would any of you go about it? currently im just making an equation and changing values till it works.

just a reminder

if you think your 500 line python script with garbage hardcode values everywhere that brittly functions even for you is going to bring you thousands in subscriptions

fuck you

If I have four unknown variables, x, y, j, and k, but know the values of x*j, y/k, and k/j, and x*j == y/k

How do I go about getting the values of the individual unknown variables?

The worst thing is to spend hours wondering why a regex isn't getting the right values. Then I edit the regex and when I used undo on my changes, all of a sudden it worked. No idea why...

Me to ChatGPT:

Write me an enum in Go using these values:

"Monday"
"Tuesday"
"Wednesday"
"Thursday"
"Friday"
"Saturday"
"Sunday"

ChatGPT:

Sure!

Here is how you write an enum in Go:

type DayOfWeek string

var (
Monday DayOfWeek = "Monday"
...
)

You get the idea! Write it yourself!

Recommendations for growing a new open source project? I'm all ears if anyone has done or has any thoughts on this as my company just open sourced our Flutter mobile app since it lines up with platform values.

I'm also super excited 😍

Why why why the fuck would you assign the same variable name at the start of a function to completely different data? These aren't params, but variables being assigned different things, no comments, no documentation, crucial in the operation, but assigned wildly different values with different behaviors through the code.

Ordered to implement Old functionality in New system, not allowed to fix it, refactor or change the underlaying mess.
Wrap old system in a wcf, hardcoded some values, done.
3 weeks estimated so I feel ahead and got more time to look for a New job.

I'm stressed and my manager values the future of the company before people's health.

I already clocked over 40 hours this week with no foreseeable reward.

I head in mind to leave the company somewhere Q4 2021 but this stuff will make it sooner..

Because of reasons we had to use the reactabular-module in our react application. There were problems giving relative values to the table-columns so a coworker decided to install a resize-listener in the window and calculate the relative values itself when the window width changes.

But i have to defend the guy who did this. Given the other things to do and our (limited) knowledge of the css-display-attribute and the reactabuler-module this was the best thing to do. Or we just wamted to finish this because we already wasted hours on this.

For everybody wondering what's the new endpoint is..

/api/me/subscribed-feed

you can also provide an `filter`, which is comma-seperated with the possible values:
- posted
- commentedOn
- liked

"View more suggested users" does NOT load more. It simply doesn't show everything from the response.

Why does the sqlite SUM function round down values?? WHY?

10333.03 is printed as 10333

This has caused me so many problems?

What is the solution to this?

So some guys at my brother's college made a sports live score app, which charges 1$ for getting score. He decompiles it, and what we see is bewildering, it is not obfuscated and the link to the json values are hardcoded in the app and the whole login process is just a sham. Seriously, WTF, were the guys thinking!

In this game I'm making for class my player was moving opposite of the control pressed... So I multiplied the movement values by negative 1

Payment gateways are such a big pain to implement. Docs say that they will return values A,B,C but what you end up recieving is X,Y,Z.
And don't get me started on the webhooks, man they return values completely different values from the api end points and with no reference what so ever to the fields returned by them.

Wish i could get the documentation writer's address and may be the dev as well!!

Oh come on MySQL driver, returning all values as strings? Really? It's like they went out of their way to be dumb.

The database column contains values, yet there is nothing in the code that inserts or updates the values in that column.

I'm not sure if the original author of this program wrote bad code or was some kind of malicious wizard. What I do know is that it scares me.

When the database you have to deal with has values in the type column that end with a whitespace...

My colleague had some problems today.
He had problems from both user input and predefined strings sent with ajax to backend. The "&"-sign was splitting values in GET-requests into unintended parameters. So... he was simply going to search and replace all of those signs with the word "and"...

encodeURI()? Why are you sending our forms with GET-requests?! 🙃

Was passing values from back end into template .nothing appeared so I though I screwed up somewhere in the code ,turns out it was the css.

I don't like odd padding / margin values

Stored loads of NULL values in database.

I have a piece of software pulling data from a database. I have been having a problem storing time values correctly, so I am running some tests with the customer. He has some data for Sunday and he says "Oh chick fil a should be empty!" Idk why I think it's funny but we are guaranteed test data because of the Bible.

So, a massive formula change in the app. Client warned upfront that old data will also show revised values after change. Changes made, tested and this morning rolled out.
Support question just now (1800 local time on a Friday evening) "How do we quickly get old values in old data? Business insists."
Do I reply #####@#@!!

I had to optimize a SQL-Query and i was able to cut the amount of time in half.

The business part of the company said it is still too slow, so i researched deeper and looked into the called functions which are used in every part where to claculate value X.

Found 20 similiar selects to get values which are summed up afterwards into three different variables. Thought this can be done in three selects with "sum", but then i found the dumbest thing is this function:

V1, V2 have the values from the selects
V3 is ja given value
X is the return value
the function returns another value

help = functionCall(parameter) - V1 -V2
X= help + V1 + V2 +V3

WTF im mean it does the selects for nothing...
X = functionCall(parameter) + V3

I've thought of a new sorting algorithm called Trumpsort. It's like twittersort in that it will take an array of values and tweet them at Donald Trump with a request for them to be sorted. It's scientifically proven to run in O(bad hombres).

Today I made a php script to scrap a site.
And I needed to use str_replace in a string to cancel out some values.

Instead of doing simple str_replace I used explode func to separate them with spaces (without any comments on how or why the fuck I m using an explode instead of a str_replace).

Later, I used $p[1] for further processing.

When everything passed to the front end is in the form of a magic array... all values are grabbed using an arbitrary index...

Fucking excel...
I opened up my CSV and changed values in one column... You fucking didn't need to take it in yourself to change all of my dates in another column to one you prefer, they were fucking fine!

!Rant

Why in hell did we try to get smart with this shit!? As simple as storing 2 values and reading them... But no... Someone wanted to get pretty with it, stored the two values but just read one because the other can be calculated...

Makes sense (btw it's [field] in minutes and [field] in seconds)... Some problems:
1. Why? Oh because someone designed it as int...
2. Why not just in seconds? Fuck you that's why...
3. Who the fuck thought that getting seconds from minutes is better then getting minutes from seconds when we only store integer values?

Thank you... I feel better

It was a little Java Swing Application for my friend who had to maintain a little notebook for his insulin values.
The device he used to read his values, saved them as a csv-file, so it was pretty easy to map them to a readable format, so he didn't have to maintain that notebook.

He never used the App. He got an implant that manages it for him.

It's sad how easy it is to fool people by switching between absolute and relative values.

3 million people did this, 3 million people own that, 3 million people agree on those things, it all seems significant - but 1% of US population sounds completely marginal and irrelevant...

MS Office is turning to crap. I have to use it extensively because of my job and it never fails to give me grief. Today I wasted so much time because even though excel is loading a CSV file, it still changes values (like april25 to april-25, or 1.0 to 1) without informing the user or ability to undo or disable, because it thinks it is too smart. :(

I saw this quiz. This is Python, right?

I ran this and got '3 44' although I'm not completely sure why the 44. I can see the obvious correlation between 'values [0]' and 'v[0]'. Aside from that I'm not sure.

Can anyone explain this to me?

Advice to new devs: always check function return values. Crash as close to the reason as possible. Make your functions return errors whenever appropriate and check these as well, crashing gracefully.

After several years of using something I still get scared and start doubting myself when I see a line like this:
Only modify values in this file if you know what you are doing.

I regret ever picking my CS major every time I stare at my VS Debugger and am stuck reading the values stored in a List<Int>. Why, List<Int>, as the backing for my shortest path, do you not have the proper values after I walk my tree.

I have lovingly set up my Priority Queue. I have followed the class notes and lectures.

Oh why, my List, have your forsaken me?

Oh.

It's a recursion bug. I'm not updating nodes properly.

I'm a dumb ass.

In my last rant, I complained about our rebranding document that was very much lacking... Their listed colours are slightly different than the colours used in their logo...

How do they fuck up copy pasting the colour values. And yes, it was meant to be the same.

I got my first proper start in programming through a side business operated by the same guy that was running a local makerspace. He had me learn basic git syntax and change some values in ionic.

From there I decided the best way to learn how to do this was write my own project in angular. From there I branched of with React and Vue.

sweaty_decision_meme.jpg

- Debugging some application locally (with debugger)
- 20-30 manual step-ins, tracking those values VERY closely
- debugger becomes a little sluggish
- move mouse to select a line to jump to
- cursor is lagging: all jumpy and everything
- CTRL+ALT+F1
- everything freezes.

sooo...either reboot the laptop and lose all the work, or wait for OOMK to kick in, which could be hours, depending on the level of memory starvation.

I spent two hours trying to figure out why VBA was giving me the correct values when I used debug.print, but not when I got the returned from the function.

I MISSPENT THE GOOD DAMN FUNCTION IN THE RETURN AND VBA DOESN'T SHOW OR AS A BUG OR GOOD DAMN ANYTHING....

I hate this thing so much.

On the bright side the office thinks I'm some sort of magical tech-deity.

We're in the last stretch before going Live next week.

A training session was held with some of the future users.

"Why does that dossierID field is mandatory with a lot of validation rules? We don't use that info, we just remember the names."

"Why do we have this feature to manage x info that is linked with one of our services? We only needed a text field for custom values"

Dear Java, I don't care about your tight rules and patterns; I just want the data.

Do I want some values from some far, hidden-away objects? Oh no, I can't, because I must respect the OO contracts between those objects and interfaces and type safety and blah dee bla.

Ugh, fuck man. I had planned an extremely general function for printing a truth table for a given proposition for a course, with a little functional programming thrown in. Instead, we are just supposed to show all 2^8 possible truth tables for 3 variables. That's eight nested loops with a hardcoded string that you inject the 8 values in.

I feel so disappointed

Uploading an xslx file to office365 to download it as an ods file only to be able to convert it to a csv file via libre office.

Direct conversion attempts with other tools would either fail converting the xslx file or break cells' values (ssconvert, soffice --headless -c, gnumeric).

One of those things where I fail to understand why it has to be so complicated.

Why it is such a pain to scan nullable types on Golang database.sql

Now I have to chose between:

1- Using temporaty variable to hold the nullable value just to soon after check and set the zero value if it is null

2- Adding coalesce to my sql query for the zero values.

Did I mention that there are around 20 collumns that are nullable...

Started by working on centOS to make it work on my PC. At first it was just look on the internet and change values, then i found this great thing called manuals and documentation.
Soon after I learned I could modify some files to change the behaviour of the system, write my own extensions. And before I knew I was HOOKED!

When you receive a psd file with a million layers, when all you really need from it is the colour values and what font/size they've used and some measurements. You'll just do it all properly with CSS. Better off with a flat png or 2 with transparency and some original vectors.

Holy shit! Why is it so hard to find a JSON viewer for android that doesn't absolutely suck ass?

I want a viewer that:
-reads json from the clipboard
-queries json for strings in context
-allows copying of values, not the key and the value put together

Major bonus points:
-JSONPath querying
-Free/pay version without ads

Please look at this code, I wanna know why the $ and {} was added to the alert method to pop up the key and value of user.

what is their functionality there?

let user = {
name: "John",
age: 30
};

// loop over keys-and-values
for (let [key, value] of Object.entries(user)) {
alert(`${key}:${value}`); // name:John, then age:30
}

So my school forces me to take a partner in my project. I build him skeletons, give him examples and wait to see what he'll do. He was supposed to do CRUD for text messages in SQL database. In the update and delete functions, he does this:

UPDATE Message SET (values) ...
WHERE username=@username

Yup ...

When my electrician uncle does some work for me for free it feels like he is a good person. When I do work for family for free I feel like an idiot (only since a year or two). Hustle culture can really mess with your values even if you don't notice it.

"Hi X, I'm getting some push back on a bigger hard drive seeing as you'll be on the only person in the company who has something bigger than 250GB. Are you able to give me the headline values of how you've used up 249GB so far please?"

Hard coded values everywhere give me nightmares. WHAT IS THIS CRAZY FUNCTION USED FOR?

Call me a pussy, but I find it quite annoying to figure out why one of 30 of the values returned in a hash is wrong in a 600 line Ruby on Rails method.