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Mac: Suddenly turns off
Me: Fuck my code..F***
Mac: No response at all
Me: reset SMC etc etc
Mac: I am dead (no battery detection, dies after 10 min on power adaptor)
Me: Skips a heart beat..(Git, oh yea git)
**Takes Mac to store, After diagnosis**
Apple Freaking Genius (AG): Your Mac has a mother board problem it needs to be replaced.
Me: Hmm what is the problem exactly??
AG: Issues in logic board and some other components.
Me: How much?
AG: Out of warranty so $$$ (60% of original amount)
Me: (wtf?) Really
AG: It's entire motherboard replacement .. bla bla
**Bring it home > open > everything seems ok on multimeter as per circuit diagram > finally finds a voltage drop that is not consistent > minute short circuit > remove > check further > nothing else > reassemble > hit power button > starts fine > freaking battery detected > works fine**
0 $ repair
Fixes two more devices @ 0 $ in friend circle
Builds a raspberry pi backup laptop with 3d printed body..Ubuntu.. you know can't live without a computer
#ThugLife #Engineer29 -
Internet streaming website be like:
Oh no, you can't right click and save the video file on your computer!
*f12* *ctrl+f* *<video* *right click* *open in new tab* *right click* *save as*
22 -
Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:
Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!8 -
Four months ago changed a laptop failing hdd and give it back to customer. Today I got a 30 minutes call because the computer "is not like before the repair, it doesn't work well".
*Thinks* Well, s#*@, before the repair the hdd had more than 2000 damaged clusters, which prevented even the os to start
*Says* "Could you describe me the issue?"
....
...
[ basically he was saying that since he started using IE as a browser, he didn't have Google.com set as the first page and that he had to bing it]
...
"When did the 'issue' start, If I may ask?"
>"Two weeks ago. "
Two weeks ago.
Two f*""#ng weeks ago.
Set aside for the nature of the issue, you blame my four months ago repair for a two weeks ago issue?
"The computer was better before"?
THAT F###ING MACHINE WAS LIKE A BURNING HOUSE - I RESCUED DATA FOR 2 DAYS JUST BEFORE THE HDD STARTED TO CRANK AT EVERY SPIN - I REBUILT IT TO GIVE IT YOU BACK FULLY WORKING AFTER YOU USED AS A FOOTBALL, AND NOW YOU BLAME ME BECAUSE THE
BROWSER ISN'T SETTED AS YOU LIKE
No,seriously, is like I rebuilt a burned house from scrap and now the owner blames me because in the kitchen sink the hot water tap is on the right side instead of the left side.
Seriusly, wtf.6 -
Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me
*piano starts
Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant
*piano
It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning
*epic guitar
I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo
I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging
Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!
*epic guitar
So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here
*epic guitar solo
Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them
Any way this code blows10 -
Lamer rant
For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.
Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.
Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!
Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.
Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.
Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!
Fkk...
Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!
F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!
Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!
I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.20 -
I was hired as a senior software engineer. During handover I found out I'm actually replacing the CTO.
I queried why he was leaving and got a simple "just want a break from working" which I found odd.
Fast forward and now I also just want a break from work, permanently. This place has followed every bad practise and big no-no out there. Every bit of software is a built in house knockoff janky piece of crap that doesn't work and makes people's jobs 5000 times harder.
The UI looks worse than Windows 3.1, absolutely horrendous code formatting, worst database structure I've ever seen.
The mere mention of using a team communication tool results in being yelled at from the CEO whom communicates purely via email, who then gets annoyed when you don't reply because they sent the email to a client instead of you.
We get handed printed out "tickets" to work instead of the so called "amazing in house ticket system" built using PHP 5 and is literally crammed into an 800x600 IFrame. Yes a F$*#ing IFRAME!
It's not like we have an outdated TFS server that has work items we can use...
Why not push for changes you say. I have, many times, tried to suggest better tools. The only approval I've gotten is using PhpStorm. Everything else is shutdown immediately and you get the silent treatment.
The CEO hired me to do a job, then micromanages like crazy. I can't make UI changes, I can't make database changes, why? They insists they know best, but has admitted multiple times to not knowing SQL and literally uses a drag and drop database table builder.
Every page in the webapps we make are crammed into 800x600 iframes with more iframes inside iframes. And every time it's pointed out we need to do something, be it from internal staff or client suggestions, the CEO goes off about how the UI is industry leading and follows standards.. what in the actual f....
Literally holding on by a thread here. Why hire a CTO under the guise of being a senior developer but then reduce the work that can be done down to the level of a junior?
Sure the paycheck is really nice but no job is worth the stress, harassment and incompetent leadership from the CEO.
They've verbally abused people to the point they resign, best part is that was simply because the CEO made serious legal mistakes, was told about it by the employee then blamed it on others.21 -
My thoughts when my uncle was introducing me to one of his friends.
(M = me, U = uncle, F = Uncle's friend)
U : Meet M, he is a software developer, he works at * blah *.
M (Internally): That is a very reasonable introduction.
U : * Continues speaking. *
M (Internally): No, staph! It was good enough. Don't go any further.
U : He does * blah blah *
M (Internally): That's not even remotely related to what I do.
U : If you have any tech related problems, he is your guy.
M (Internally): You should have kept shut.
U : If your phone slows down, he can fix it.
M (Internally): Why would you even say that !?
U : He can fix all you printer issues.
M (Internally): Excuse me. What. The. Fuck!?
U : You should definitely consult him before purchasing any tech.
M (Internally): That's it. I give up. There is no hope left.
F : * Gestures U to clam down. *
F : * Nods at M in a very assuring manner. As if he were saying, 'chill bro! Its all cool, I understand.' *
M (Internally): Hold on. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there is some hope left.
F : So, tell me, how good are you with excel formulas?
M (Internally): * Dies *4 -
Wanna try your luck?
OH HELL NO! xD
(don't try at home kids 😂😂😂)
#!/bin/bash
if [[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ]]; then
for f in /dev/sd*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
for f in /dev/nv*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
else
echo "Lucky guy"
fi
9 -
Me: I'm unable to connect through VPN
IT guy at my office: I'll format your system and reinstall OS
Me: heck no!! There should be other effective solution.
IT guy: Yes, I can take backup of your files and then reinstall OS.
Me: Just get out!! F*ckin ididot!!16 -
So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.
Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "
Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."
Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"
Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."
Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?
Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."
Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."
Me :*explaining what I just said *
Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"
Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)
Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"
(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)
My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?14 -
Real Story:
Manager: You have to add an extra section in the app to show more details.
Me: We are already showing so many unnecessary details. These changes are not required.
Manager: No !! You have to do it.
Me : Ok !!! So why can't we show it in the section where we are showing the other details. Why make a separate section for it.
Manager : No !! It won't be clearly visible to the user. Just do it.
So I added another section to show useless information that we are already showing it f**king everywhere else in the app.
So I released a new apk next day with the added features.
In meeting, our CTO goes through the app and ask manager....
" Why we have added an extra section for showing same details that we are showing everywhere else ???
Who approved this ?? This is nonsense !!! "
Here comes the fun part.
Manager : I don't know. I didn't ask for it. These changes were not there earlier.
And ask me.
"Who told you to make these changes ? "
I am like... F***k man you a***ole told me to do it even when i told you it will be nonsense.12 -
Our teacher wanted to show us a video in class so she opened Internet explorer (windows 7) used bing to search for the video and clicked on the link.
The video didn't work and instead there was an error message saying 'Your browser is too old, please use a more modern browser, for example mozilla firefox'
She looked at the error message for around 30 seconds like it had just told her that it is gonna explode in a minute. After some time one of my friends asked if she needed help. Here is what happened:
F: do you need any help?
T: No (very serious voice)
Teacher shuts down computer, stands up, looks at our class angrily and says in a very serious voice:
T: you broke the computer although you aren't allowed to touch it!
Me: mother of god...5 -
Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.
6 -
Coworker: "Hey I have the final logo for your software"
Me: "Awesome, only a few bugfixes after my holiday and we are good to go on production. 2 more hours to go until I am free for a week."
Coworker: "After your holiday? Boss said it goes on production tomorrow!"
Me: "You are kidding me, aren't you? There is no way I can do all the work today and push to production!"
Coworker: "Boss promised the client..."
How about boss can go an f himself? He knows I have some other project to finish today and that I am leaving. This is in our team cal for over a month now! Ahhh. My coworker now has to deal with it-.-2 -
Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.
Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.
F : But that's your job. No?
Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.
* Goes on to see the frontend *
I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.
Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.
F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!
Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!
Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*
Bastards!7 -
Friend: hey i heard you are a programmer.
Me: yeah
F: so you are a hacker?
M: No. Well yes but the correlation is bavkwards.
F: oh ok.
...
F: so can you hack facebook?9 -
Millennials are getting right f*cked.
Low paying jobs,
Many hours of travel to work because one can't afford to live closeby,
working 10 hour a day, and
there is no hope of owning a home.
Then people say 'oh what do you do when you get home?'
Sleeeep for the limited hours left!
Then your partner says 'oh you just come home to sleep'
Then you have instagram and all these 'influencers' saying go after your dreams... while they very well know they only get paid for heavily edited images.
Wish things were better for everyone.27 -
!rant
So this happened in the zoom meeting today. 2 colleagues were arguing on something.
A : "Do I look like f**king joke to you?"
B : " No, you don't look like a joke , your camera is off. But you sound like one. "
A : "I am so tired of you , f**k you man"
B: " Hey you can't f**k me without my consent, I said I am not interested."
Me : "Uhm guys this is scrum meeting."
B: "No shit captain obvious, we all know that. "
I am so speechless.....36 -
I was once at a hackathon and got into a team with some people out of the same company. They brought all of their fancy tools with them, which no one understood except for them.
They ended up doing all of the back-end and I designed a f***** logo, some slides and bored myself to death for the remaining 18 hours or so.3 -
TL;DR: If you're an Android user, do yourself a favour and check out https://simplemobiletools.com/ . You're welcome.
Dear diary, today was a good day.
A small part of my faith in humanity was recovered after I found about Tibor Kaputa.
Apparently, this guy - like many of us - was fed up with the bloat, bugs, bullshit and 'features' of many of the stock Android apps that come preinstalled on most phones. And so, he decided to make his own.
Unlike most of us however, he actually pulled through. And then he made them open source.
No bullshit permission requirements.
No ads or tracking.
Custom themes.
And no, not just 'toggle white/dark mode', I'm talking 'pick your own color scheme', both within the app and for the app icon (!).
And then sync your colour scheme across the entire suite of apps (!!).
Simple UI, with a lot of customizable settings.
And if you get them from f-droid, it's all completely free as in BEER too!
I've spent a lot of time in the last year trying to find software that does what it's supposed to do well, without trying to pull any sneaky bullshit in the background or annoy me with crap that I don't care about in a miserable attempt to show off its useless features.
I'm not a fan of Medium myself either, but the author's article about how his suite of apps was born really resonated with me. If you care about privacy, open source software, and doing things right, you should really give it a read: https://medium.com/@tibbi/...
I'm particularly a fan of the Gallery, the File Manager, and the Music player apps, and the others don't look half bad either.12 -
So. My grandma (280 km away) gave me a call.
Grandma: "Hiii. I have a problem with my PC."
Me thinking "ok. Just an ordinary tech support call from granny..."
Me: "Ok. What's the issue?"
Grandma: "Windows tells me there is no space left on drive F, non-stop"
Me: "As far as I know there is no drive F on your PC"
Grandma: "Would you be so kind to have a look?"
I agreed to log on via team viewer.
To cut an already long story short, there was this April Update which sent a bug all around the globe.
This bug exposed an internal drive Windows uses to do its Windows stuff - whatever it is.
Regularly these kind of drives are hidden from users eyes...
I finally solved it by applying a rollback on Windows.
The update is gone and with the next update there will be a fix from May to hide this drives again.
Microsoft!
I do you scare grandparents all around the globe?!??12 -
Weekend so far:
Chrome Update FUCKED UP my website.
Tried to update my server to Ubuntu 16.04. That FUCKED UP in the middle and I didn't have any recent backup.
Went back to old backup. But didn't see any changes in the website. Was wondering that for 1 hour.
Forgot that my website was using cloudflare caching. In the meantime I have changed my DNS settings.
Out of frustration removed website from cloudflare. That FUCKED UP the DNS further.
Now I have no idea how long it will take the DNS to update.
FUCKING F M L6 -
Dear diary,
Today is day 3 of Windows 11 for me, and after about an hour of gaming, everything got laggy. I thought it was an AV scanner taking its sweet time kind of lag, but then.... I couldn't switch back to the desktop, I couldn't launch the task manager, it was just a solid frozen brick, and then when I unpaused this game to go back into it.... it was frozen too.
So here I am , with a frozen machine, so I give up and attempt a hard reboot........ yep, your fucked too. Windows auto repair kicks in, and it freezes too.
So now I'm here, with a brick of a fucking machine, wondering wtf could have gone so wrong.
Finally, I've made it to the failed boot screen,
> bootrec /fixboot
permission denied.
🤔 dafuq you smoking?
Fine
> sfc /scannow
Permission denied
Ok.... I don't think I want to know how this works.
> chkdsk /f /r /x C:
Yay something fucking runs
.
.
.
no issues 🤨
Fuck it, reboot.
Oh, now you want to fucking boot you piece of shit.
Now to understand how the fuck you can get a permission denied when your running CMD before boot 😐18 -
I was trying to style a website drop down menu (select tag) that would look the same on all browsers using css only. i removed the default arrow down, and i was trying to add a minimal arrow pointing down, and it took me a while to do it. Take a look at the pic.
However when i looked at the code. there was no code for that little arrow. I was confused for a few minutes, looking at both html and css. thinking how is this even possible, then i realised.
My f-ing screen was dirty. Dirt was similarly shaped like the thing i wanted to achieve. I was laughing at myself for a few minutes.
btw i did it in the end 😊 no dirt involved
1 -
Minimum wage employers and restaurants asking "and why should we hire you?".
You have 40 vacancies in your area for just your company alone.
You're paying $13.25 an hour when only a year ago you were paying $9.75.
Why should we hire you?
F*ck you, pay me, that's why.
You're not f*cking NASA
You're a God damn chain restaurant with a 40% turnover rate, who's employees probably shoot up in the bathroom on the rare occasion they even get a break.
I looked at the guy with all the annoyance I could muster, stared him down for a good five seconds and said. "You pay a few dollars over minimum. You're job is not important enough to even ask that question. Have a nice day." And got up and left.
Dude followed me and stuttered " hold up. I was just..."
But I was already out the door.
You were just what mark? Asking a dumbfuck question as if you had any leverage at all?
Your competitor *across the street* is offering 50 cents *more* per hour, and has guaranteed breaks.
What, did you forget 2008 and how you treated millions of people as disposable? The little part where you and most american industries demanded passion, without pay raises? Promotions without benefits? The jobs that if you worked hard, rather than a promotion or a pay raise, your reward was more work and less hours to finish?
You assholes thought we forgot about that? How you shipped millions of jobs overseas, blamed it on "automation" (chinese and indian slave labor), and then pointed the finger at millions of impoverished people as "lazy" in places like Detroit and Pittsburgh and told them "you just got to work harder and smarter!" Or "just get a small loan and create the next google!" from the comfort of your yachts? I'm looking at you bane corp.
No, now the shoes on the other foot motherf*ckers. Hows it feel needing all *us* commoners? "Why should we hire you?"
No, why should *I* WORK FOR YOU?
Cuz I saw THREE dirty tables coming in. A line of people that could be being served. A line that could have been optimized with the proper table count and some simple changes. A menu that doesnt even incentivize your biggest sellers and a dozen other things your store is doing wrong.
Think mark, think!
This is one of those braindead questions employers paying sub $18 an hour ask, because they suffered so much brain drain from years of payola profits from too-big-to-fail wallstreet bailouts, that they forgot they are not king midas, unless they are the king midas of shit, because increasingly everything corporate America touches turns into shit.
And while were on the subject, stopping bringing in outside management to stores. It destroys team cohesion, staff morale, pisses off people *on site* who *actually know* the team, the stores daily activities and processes, and who are better fit for that role. You bring in disinterested outside management, and it's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen: these smarmy selfcongratulating f*cks who know nothing about the particular store, have no connection to the staff, go on firing sprees or alienation-sprees to hire in friends, fuck up the schedules because again they know nothing about the employees, and then move on after a few years to greener pastures, leaving a barren radioactive wasteland of chain smokers and burnt out staff in their wake.
Dear corporate America, your free ride on the public's good will is over. It's over.
Now you're in the bitch seat. Come sit at my desk and explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME, why I should sweat and labor to save your shitty company hemorrhaging money like a bleeding crack-addicted hobo dying with a sucking chest wound from a chicago skidrow friday-night drive-by?
You dont deserve it. Your management and company culture is worse than incompetent. It's full of smiley guys expounding about their passion for customer service while giving each other sloppy BJs in broom closets, a veritable cornucopia of cult-like corporate dick suckers *and* dickheads, proclaiming, no...PROFESSING (hence "professional") their undying allegiance and dedication to their corporate family with the intensity of cujo, foaming at the mouth, or Mitt Romney preparing for a photoshoot, plastic smiles and feigned laughs.
Dont forget to wipe your chin, asshole. It's not Ronald McDonald your blowing, but it's definitely not Gordon f*cking Ramsey either.
Would you like fries with that?88 -
I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.
VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!
While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!
Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!
Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.
F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!
I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.
*Takes deep breath* need to say that.10 -
I just can't understand what will lead an so called Software Company, that provides for my local government by the way, to use an cloud sever (AWS ec2 instance) like it were an bare metal machine.
They have it working, non-stop, for over 4 years or so. Just one instance. Running MySQL, PostgreSQL, Apache, PHP and an f* Tomcat server with no less than 10 HUGE apps deployed. I just can't believe this instance is still up.
By the way, they don't do backups, most of the data is on the ephemeral storage, they use just one private key for every dev, no CI, no testing. Deployment are nightmares using scp to upload the .war...
But still, they are running several several apps for things like registering citizen complaints that comes in by hot lines. The system is incredibly slow as they use just hibernate without query optimizations to lookup and search things (n+1 query problems).
They didn't even bother to get a proper domain. They use an IP address and expose the port for tomcat directly. No reverse proxy here! (No ssl too)
I've been out of this company for two years now, it was my first work as a developer, but they needed help for an app that I worked on during my time there. I was really surprised to see that everything still the same. Even the old private key that they emailed me (?!?!?!?!) back then still worked. All the passwords still the same too.
I have some good rants from the time I was there, and about the general level of the developers in my region. But I'll leave them for later!
Is it just me or this whole shit is crazy af?3 -
Small company (1-100 people).
The head of the company comes into the 4-man engineering department and tells the RF engineer that the wireless project will be canceled. The project timeline the RF engineer proposed the week before is not feasible for the company.
RF engineer asks, point blank, if he should pack up and leave. The guy says "no".
A few weeks later the RF engineer puts in his letter of resignation. The head of the company pulls him aside and asks why he's leaving. Wants to know what went wrong...
THE F***ING RF GUY WON'T BE DOING RF, THAT'S WHY!!!
Management at this company is so confused.
(Had to rant. I hear that's what this site is for...)3 -
Venting some anger, this is a long one
<rant>
So last Friday we had a 'Christmas' party at work... Only it wasn't a Christmas party... Because that would be racist against people who don't celebrate Christmas (of whom they are none at work), also no Christmas songs, because of the same reason and because it looked unprofessional... They also removed karaoke... (an Christmas tradition at the office) Because again, it was unprofessional
But we all got a Christmas card... Strange because we weren't allowed to celebrate it 😑 and the message in that card was one of the most standard messages I've ever seen, something like
Hello $name, we enjoyed working with you in 2017, let's make 2018 even better, merry Christmas
MERRY CHRISTMAS!? BUT THAT'S RACIST WASN'T IT!!!???
W T F !
also our sales guy did a speech, the following is an actual quote
'software is an amazing product'
Yeah mate, software is the product... Totally not the stuff we create with it
Sorry if people get/are offended in anyway, but if you decide that having a Christmases party at work is racist in any way or form, then don't have a party at all... Not some lame half Christmas party...
</rant>12 -
Boss: Hey man, can you do an extra couple of hours today to finish [...] up? I just talked to [person he knows is driving me home that day] and he said he would do them! Can I count on you?
...
Me: Hey, [person driving me home]. Are you really doing the extra hours the boss is asking for? I thought you didn't wanna stay longer today...
[person driving me home]: F*ck no! He hasn't asked me yet.1 -
here's a shoutout to 90% of websites today:
NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NEWSLETTER! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NOTIFICATION! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO SHARE MY F*CKING LOCATION! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT ANY F*CKING COOKIES! STOP ASKING!
website publishers ary whining about adblockers, but keep shoving so much shit down our throats that even a dozen browser addons can't make the web usable. the internet was such a great place once, where did we go wrong?
(rhetorical question. it's when we made access to the internet so easy, that every 100% tech-illiterate idiot could get online.)13 -
My sleep pattern is royally fucked. I searched around for alarm apps that can help me get back on track. I found one called Alarmy. The list of features was mindblowing. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’m on vacation. I’m using my mobile data as a hotspot to browse and do research as there are no other internet options here.
My alarm goes off at 6 AM. Everyone besides me is sleeping. Here is where the first problem arises. The only way to turn the alarm off is by taking a picture of something I have at home (This is how I force myself out of bed). I start panicking. How the hell am I going to shut this damn thing off. I try to turn the phone off, and that’s when I realize I’ve made a huge error. The pro version of Alarmy has a setting that allows you to prevent yourself from turning it off at all. Genius me thought that was a good idea. I fumble with my phone as the 1 minute mute timer they give you is slowly ticking down, before all hell breaks loose. That’s when it hits me. I have an LG G3 with replaceable batteries. My violently pounding heart rate start to slow down as I take off the case and slamdunk the phone until the battery falls out. I did it. I’m saved. 5 minutes later I turn my phone on, start the hotspot and get back to my browsing.
BEEP F*CKING BEEP. Alarmy is not done with me yet. It turns out they’ve implemented a new feature that continues the damn alarm after a shutdown. At this point I have ran out of options. I take the battery back out, and now I’m sat here without no phone or internet for the rest of my vacation, and with no clue what to do.13 -
$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!7 -
For fucking once in my life I decide to go very early to bed so I can be 100% clear in my head for today's meetings. What happens is the following:
1. going to bed at 10pm.
2. Falls asleep relatively fast (yay)
3. Wakes up at 1am
4. Has a major headache and gets dizzy when I get up to go take a leak
5. Grabs a huge glass of water
6. Goes to sleep again
7. Wakes up at 3am with major headache and gets dizzy when I get up again.
8. Grabs another huge glass of water and goes back to sleep.
It's now 4:36am and I'm wide awake, with no headache, and no ability to sleep apparently. F... M... L!!!7 -
Very long story ahead!
Yesterday in the evening a friend of mine (calling him F from now on) became the target of something new to me...
Apparently one can fake his phone number through some fishy ways and call people with that number. Someone (we think we might know who it was, the why is at the end) did this yesterday to F.
Here's the whole story:
We were just talking together on a TeamSpeak Server (a program to talk to others on the internet) when suddenly another friend said: "F, why did you just call me three times in a row?" That was the first thing that was a bit suspicious. After that, F got calls from random numbers (even Afghanistan, we are German), and they said something like "Have fun with the police coming to your house". Then there was silence. 10 minutes later his phone rang and there were a ton of pizza delivery services in his town that apparently got pizza orders from him. Then there was silence, again. Suddenly someone with a hidden number called him, a woman's voice said they were the police and if F doesn't stop calling the police there will be consequences. F then told her what was going on but I think she didn't really care. She then wanted to know where F lives, but I told him not to say that, because if it is the police they can find it out by themself and if it's not, they don't need to know that.
Now, a short break: There is some fake information going around about where F lives. I can't remember when we found out but the attacker thought he would actually live there. No idea what happened at that location...
Now back to the story:
Time went by, nothing really happened. Suddenly F shouted: "There are blue lights outside! The police is here!" He muted his microphone and (the following is what he told us what happened) went down to the door (remember, he is 16) and there were two police men. They were asking about why he called the police. F explained what we knew until then, about number spoofing and stuff... They sent a more technical person to him, he understood what F was trying to explain. The police men drove away and he came back to tell us what happened. (Now we get back to what I heared myself.) The mom came in, screamed something that I couldn't understand, and F went offline. We searched who the attacker could have been. And we are pretty sure we found him. That guy connected to our Minecraft server (that's where I know F from) with his real IP, and his main account, which made it easy to search. He also got a static IP which means it doesn't change. We also got some information that in the recent days this guy was talking about VoIP spoofing and such stuff. Another friend of mine, a bit older, found some proofs and I think he will go to the police.
That's it. Thanks for reading.7 -
I'm done with f/e. I so fucking hate it .
I fucking hate implementing weird highly animated websites designed by gurus
I fucking hate making them accessible.
I hate working on weird code generated by my coworkers and jump on projects with 0 specs.
I fucking hate this whole bloatware called javascript.
I fucking hate morons who think they know it all.
I'm fucking disgusted by the job market with their whole job specs ( Oh you don't have 5 year experience in some fucking stupid library I don't give a flying fuck. Too bad, we can't hire you )
And most importantly I fucking hate the day I chose f/e development instead of smth else.
Now at 29 I'm fucking stuck with this shit with no energy and patience to learn something else or at least jump on b/e or anything that is not related to web dev or js.
Sorry for so many fuckings but I had a breakdown.
Love ya.25 -
Project manager: We have 13weeks for this project. We have promised the client.
Me: okay, why wasnt I consulted on that commitment?
Project Manager: yeah.... we have to do it
Me: okay, if we have 2 dedicated backend and one full time frontend - ONLY on this project.
Project manager: (with the face of lies) yes yes sure we can do that.
6 weeks later, after continuous interruptions. Frontend is behind because he was only on the project to an amount of 2 weeks of the 6 weeks.
Project manager: Are we still on time?
Me: *looks around for prank cameras* no the f#*k we not
Project manager: can we put in weekends?
Me: its 2019 bro, that ain't happening
*But because I am a nice guy, and dont like taking Ls, we will have it ready. Just not gonna tell the project manager, he deserves a few sleepless nights *7 -
I am UI developer. The fucking domain model which we have in our project changes very frequently (once in a week (f**k)).
There is one person who is backend developer in this project. I call him TATTI because code he wrotes is "maha tatti".
Now real story,
Whene ever he makes any chnages to, so called, very complex domain model, he even doesn't inform me to reflect changes in UI. So whenever it goes on production, our boss abuse me for not updating UI.
Fucking tatti, just message me what should be changed or not and I really don't understand why they need changes in domain model every week.
F**g cto, decide domain structure first and then tell your team to start implementing it.
Other thing, when ever I ask tatti any doubt about any field is needed to display in UI or not because it is removed or added in domain model, he fucking chutiya starts explaining me whole project instead of just telling yes or no.
I don't care what your fucking backend does. Just tell me what is needed or not. And also he is not sure whether to keep that field or not even he had made that change.
He tells, "ha ye field chahie (after 5 seconds) , nahi wese to hum kahi use nahi kr rhe, ye sirf furture ke liye rkha tha use hta do (after 5 seconds), ek kam kro Mr xyz(another back end developer) se puch lo"
Fuck you maha tatti. And due to this i left that project and switched to other.19 -
Github Inc. (Feel good inc. parody)
=========================
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
(change) Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Github
(change) fetch it (change), fetch it (change), fetch it (change), Github
Repos breaking down on pull request
Juniors have to go cause they don't know wack
So while you filling the commits and showing branch trees
You won't get paid cause it's all damn free
You set a new linter and a new phenomenal style
Hoping the new code will make you smile
But all you wanna have is a nice long sleep.
But your screams they'll keep you awake cause you don't get no sleep no.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Laughing at the class past, fast CRUD
Testing them up for test cracks.
Star the repos at the start
It's my portfolio falling apart.
Shit, I'm forking in the code of this here.
Compile, breaking up this shit this y*er.
Watch me as I navigate.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Yo, this repo is Ghost Town
It's pulled down
With no clowns
You're in the sh*t
Gon' bite the dust
Can't nag with us
With no push
You kill the git
So don't stop, git it, git it, git it
Until you're the maintainers
And watch me criticize you now
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
See how your team updates it
Steady, watch me navigate
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
Peep at updates and reconvert it
Steady, watch me git reset now
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.2 -
sometimes I hate python....
Ive just chased down a bug where a simple string saved in a simple dict sometimes came out as a f*cking tuple(!) when I needed it!
turned out that at some point this dict got updated with values from some other dict. And at some other point, I decided it was a great idea to rewrite that update code into individual setter's instead ... and of course forgot to remove one the trailing comma's, thus creating a perfectly legal tuple .... *sigh*
No errors, no warnings - just plain corrupt data....
9 -
One thing that pisses every dev off I know!
Project Managers who think making any changes takes 30 seconds.
"No Susan, changing the site isn't as simple as changing your f**king Facebook status!!"6 -
I feel like the whole CoC debate is just:
"Stop using harmful language!"
"F*** you! How else can I tell you that your commit sucks donkey-b***?!"
"You are banned!"
"I'm taking all of my work with me, you c****!"
"No you are not"
"Yes I F***ing am"
Maybe we can reach a compromise, where we can insult bad coders, just not on the basis of their race/gender/sex? Or, fork a version of the code base for "inclusive-sjw-types" and another for "loud-mouth-a**-holes"?
Like it's really a debate on work ethics. Positive change negative reinforcement...14 -
Worst meeting:
Boss: *calls everyone* URGENT MEETING. If you're on your lunch break, then stop and join the video call. Is it a weird time in your timezone? Wake up. But COME
Omg what happened? Is the server down? Are we getting a huge client? What is so urgent that it needs all of our attention right now?
Boss: I'm afraid that I won't be able to stay long in this meeting.
... then WHY the f did you call this meeting?
Boss: that's why we'll have a meeting next at *such hour*. In the meantime, talk to your respective departments about what you've been doing and what you need from each other. See you!
No comment6 -
F*cking Samsung's alarm clock.
I really needed to wake up early today so I added secondary alarm little bit earlier. It was supposed to ring at 5:20 and second one shall ring 5:30. But Samsung said no.
Update came thru night and phone was restarted in process. Why it can't keep memory unlocked I don't understand, but OK. But it effectively means it was not able to trigger alarm clock. So I woke up at 6:35 and came more than hour late.
Why such basic functionality failed? My old Sony Erricsson T290i can ring even when powered down. Same as my Nokia and after that Lumia with Windows Phone 10. Why can't Samsung just be normal.12 -
This was a fun thing that just happened:
I was sent a timed questionnaire by a potential employer for a software engineer job. I'm like okay, I will do it on Monday (today) because that is when I will have a free minute.
Well I sit down to do the thing and I had had a few beers, because the Ballmer Peak is real to me when I have to answer bullshit programming quizzes.
Well F me right in the A, it is a 38 question true or false logic quiz. And I am no longer a college kid trying to get into grad school so I have no patience for that crap, and apparently less with a little beer in me. Long story short, there was no comment section for me to rant in so I decided to go on YouTube and watch cat videos instead.3 -
People who message “I’m getting a error” without any context or even better the actual error message, no one else can see your screen and we can’t magic a fix, and we’re not f***ing psychic, tell us what the f***ing error is. Or better yet, figure it f***ing out like the rest of us, you also have google - go nuts16
-
Me: ssl conn cannot be esrablished. Cert is not signed
Sr. Dev/architect: what url are you calling?
Me: dns_name:port
sd/a: yeah, I know that. But what is the url?
Me: *how the f... Did you get 'sr' and 'arch' titles, man???*
Me: why does it matter?
Sd/a: certificates depend on a url. Our LB selects a cert according to a request url
me: *buddy, I like you but I no longer look at you with respect like I used to before today...*9 -
Meet 'SBI Online' app from Play Store, in their own words:
What they were supposed to do?
"Experience the new Retail Internet Banking of SBI"
What they do?
"SBI online app will redirect to SBI Retail Internet Banking (online SBI) site"
Why do they have app?
"No need to remember URL",
"Less memory space required on device"
App storage space?
F**king 2.6 MB, just to redirect users to their website, in third-party browser.2 -
>>>> Followed link to a post
* Do you Accept Cookies?: Yes
* Our customer supports online: Okay, I know
* Subscribe to Newsletters?: Click Click Accept
* Website wants to turn on Notification?: Okay
* Seen Our New Product?: No, not today
* We require you to be over 18?: Yes, I am
* We value your privacy?: I Agree
* Looks like you're using ad-Blocker?: Turn Off
* Don't forget to follow us on...: Okay!!! I get it already, just show me the f*cking post!
* What next
***** 1 million ads appear around a single post broken to bits having (1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 next>>) *****
Just wondering who invented this money making strategy.8 -
This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".
In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:
1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th5 -
Completed Angular 2 course on codeschool, really liked improvements and simplicity of Angular over Angularjs. Decided to do quick start guide in official website. Oh my f**king god... I need to setup webpack, typescript linter, typings, polyfills etc angular2-cli is no better, crawling with errors... why... why can't one just start a project and work instead spending loads of timing configuring all of that... AND WHY WE CANT HAVE PROPER SUPPORT FOR LATEST FEATURES...
I don't even know what I am ranting about... I just wish to spend more time creating things than configuring for ages development environment.7 -
Feel free to scroll by if you feel like it.
I am just very excited this evening because with today's commit I have reached a very important milestone in my side-project development. As of today all the [so far] 12 components are all working together and processing the main flow themselves.
No special functions, no test data in the code, nothing like that. A client is able to do its thing now as it should.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but as I'm working on this gigantic beast for 3 years now this milestone is hell of a reward for me!
Just wanted to share :)
edit: f* it! I'm getting a cake!4 -
* Recruiter says he has a nice proposition
* I say that I'm not comfortable switching jobs yet, but I'd be up for a short phone interview to hear him out, out of pure interest
* Recruiter explains a lot about the company, and then asks if I am up for "a short Teams introduction with the team lead to hear more"
* I say yes, though still stating that I do not intend on switching, but want to know more in case of a future possibility
* Recruiter says I need to send my full CV / Resumé plus grades from every school I ever intended (including the early ones that doesn't even matter)
* I say no since 1) I'd have to dig them out from the basement, 2) I am not looking for a job right now, and 3) This request is absurd to me, and NOT a norm in my part of the world when I am not applying.
* He says I HAVE to, since I could be lying
(I am mostly self-taught and have very little actual education, so this logic made NO sense to me)
* I continue to say no, stating that it's simply not worth the time finding the old grades in the basement for a job I will not be taking, and that I am mostly self-taught so grades wouldn't matter
* He starts getting angry, accusing me of "purposefully wasting his time", and says he'll warn the company about me.
Fair point. I'll warn my contacts about you then. Have a nice day, you f*cking prick :)3 -
!Dev
Hello guys, here is my first rant about my job. So, I work in marketing, mostly content and SEO as the main job and my 2nd job is a somewhat-somehow webgrafic design-something (blame my fiancee for this). This one is about my content job.
As a content, my main role is to translate information (health tech, tech or anything) in a somewhat comprehensive way so about anybody can read my articles. And boy, I love my job, the research part, the writing part, almost everything. But on some days I have to find a way to explain protozoa to normal people. Aaaaaand today I have to explain this shit!
Now, how the f*ck I will manage this, I have no darn clue but I am starting to learn how my dev fiancee feels when he has to explain some complicated stuff to his clients, I swear!
8 -
So woke up this morning and Paypal had just banned my account with no reason whatsoever. I only receive funds from 3 clients who I have been working with for a few years now. My account is already verified with my ID and utilities bill. Am a freelance so I depend on it. So it's a case of ' hey, we think you did something wrong, we are not going to tell you what but are banning you permanently and keeping your money for 6 months'. F piss of shit of a company.
23 -
For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".5
-
When my company signs a contract with employees, they put the income as minimum wage, and verbally agree with him that they'll pay the rest of the income (which is about 3 times the minimum wage) as extra work, so they wont pay a lot for taxes. The employee has no choice but to accept.
But when the pay time comes, the company will only pay the minimum wage, making employees unable to sue.
This ultimately causes employees doing things like moving all project files to pen drives, telling the CEO about it, making the CEO run after them to the streets begging for the pen drive, and when he finally softens and gives them the drive, they open the zip files inside it to see (I shit you not) images of people flipping the bird.
Or this: https://devrant.com/rants/1332501/...12 -
I wrote a prototype for a program to do some basic data cleaning tasks in Go. The idea is to just distribute the files with the executable on our shared network to our team (since it is small enough, no github bullshit needed for this) and they can go from there.
Felt experimental, so I decided to try out F# since I have always been interested with it and for some reason Microsoft adopted it into their core net framework.
I shit you not, from 185 lines of Go code, separated into proper modules etc not to mention the additional packages I downloaded (simple things for CSV reading bla bla)
To fucking 30 lines of F# that could probably be condensed more if I knew how to do PROPER functional programming. The actual code is very much procedural with very basic functional composition, so it could probably be even less, just more "dense"
I am amazed really. I do not like that namespace pollution happens all over F# since importing System.IO gives you a bunch of shit that you wouldn't know where it is coming from unless you fuck enough with Ionide and the docs. But man.....
No need for dotnet run to test this bitch, just highlight it on the IDE, alt enter and WHAM you have the repl in front of you, incremental quasi like Lisp changes on the code can be REPL changed this way, plethora of .NET BCL wonders in it, and a single point of documentation as long as you stay in standard .net
I am amazed and in love, plus finding what I wanted to do was a fucking cakewalk.
Downside: I work in a place in which Python is seen as magic and PHP, VB.NEt and C# is the end all be all of languages. If me goes away or dies there will be no one else in this side of the state to fuck with F#
This language needs to be studied more. Shit can be so compact, but I do feel that one needs to really know enough of functional programming to be good at it. It is really not a pure language like Haskell (then again, haskell is the only "mainstream" pure functional language ain't it not?) but still, shit is really nice and I really dig what Microhard is doing in terms of the .net framework.
Will provide later findings. My entire team is on the Microsoft space, we do have Linux servers, but porting the code to generate the necessary executables for those servers if needed should be a walk in the park. I am just really intrigued by how many lines of code I was able to cut down from the Go application.
Please note that this could also mean that I am a shit Golang dev, but the cut down of nil err checkings do come somewhere.9 -
I need a new 'main' language to do all my projects in as java is kind of grinding away at my psyche.
Golang I liked quite a lot when I used it for my job a year ago, I'll give that a try..
Golang installed and up and working fine.
Oh, I know lets see if there are GLFW bindings for golang. And sure there are lets go!
Oh I need gcc and mingwex + mingw32 which I will acquire through cygwin.
hmm.. mingwex + mingw32 not found and my drive is almost full. I'll reinstall on my D:\ drive before continuing troubleshooting.
> Delete C:\Cygwin Access denied.
> cmd rmdir c:\test /s /q Access denied.
> Change permissions Access denied.
No problem I just don't own this object!
> Change to be the 'object owner' Success!
> Change permissions Success!
> Delete C:\Cygwin Access denied.
> cmd rmdir c:\test /s /q Access denied.
> takeown /F C:\Cygwin /A /R /D Y Success!
> cmd rmdir c:\test /s /q Access denied.
At this point it would be more efficient to manually open up my ssd, and using a fridge magnet change every single bit to be exactly what I want it to be.
Or install linux.
7 -
// Snippet
if(isUsingEdgeOrIE(window.navigator.userAgent)){
window.location.assign("https://google.com/chrome/browser/");
}
*sigh*
People laugh at it when you say Internet Explorer is a Pain in the *ss to develop for, because they think it's just a cliché or some sort and think it's not that bad.. but no .. really.. F*ck IE.. :D It f*cked me over so many times..
"Oh Hey, I don't recognize this basic html attribute value you are using, so I'm not going to report an error in the console or so, ima let you search, sweat, get angry, .. Oh Hey, you're not using the right doctype? Let me crash your entire javascript functionality, .. Oh Hey, this CSS selector? I never heard of it.. "8 -
Open source...
Apple: F*** Open Source!!!! Money's our god!!!!
Google: Let's make MONEYYYYYY... and then give code
Microsoft: Ya... ok... yeah... no... sry but we have do to some money...
Linux: OPEN SOURCE FOR EVERYONE!!!!! IT'S FREE!!!!!! hey... guys... what ain't you coming, I'm lonely *Play "sound of silence"*9 -
I really need to let this out somewhere...
Why the f...? Srsly.. Why would anyone do that? I'm joining another project. Apparently lead dev has adopted a coding style, where:
1. Every dev writes code however he likes, i.e. no clean-code requirement at all.
2. All services are crud-only. I mean all service classes. All must have those 4 methods; no more, no less.
3. Half of the business logic is inside controllers.
4. Not a single comment... Interfaces, models, etc. -- not a single one.
5. Xmls -- tabs, classes - spaces.
6. Xml schemas are downloaded with each build rather than stored downloaded once and stored locally.
7. I can keep going on and on.
Is it just me or are these some really weird decisions?3 -
Bootcrap. Just looked at their main page, and it's a whopping 75k of markup plus 294k of CSS (W-T-F?!), and 224k of JS. All of that shit for a page that shouldn't be more than 10k of markup, 16k of CSS, and that has no reason to even use JS at all.
<a class="d-flex flex-column flex-lg-row justify-content-center align-items-center mb-4 text-dark lh-sm text-decoration-none
Yeah, that crap is supposed to be "easier" to write. That's what you get for totally failing to understand how HTML/CSS even work, clinging to late 1990s practices, and ditching decades of progress since then.
Although the Bootcrap folks do manage to write valid HTML. As low as that sounds, but that counts already as an exceptional skill in the notoriously low-skilled frontend "dev" world that is all about making shitty websites.
Oh, and the rest like Failwind and Bulimia aren't any better. They already fail at delivering valid HTML on their websites.17 -
**Me, while working on sql based project**
Manager: Does anyone knows java! Want a sample login screen written in java.
**I'm the only one in my team to know java, thus raised my hand**
Me: It's done. Mailed you the .java file.
Manager: I can see my password
Me: I fuckn hate myself. ***Forgot to set password field as password type***
Manager: you are no different than others.
Me: Yeah..😶 **f@#& you**1 -
Our story start like this.
Boss: Hey programmer A, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer A: I suggest not implement {feature X} because {negative impact of feature X}
Boss: Ok
Boss asks Programmer B.
Boss: Hey programmer B, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer B: Of course, no problem
Programmer B asks Programmer A.
Programmer B: Hey Programmer A, Do you know how to implement {feature X} on this application? I have no idea.
Programmer A: WHAT!!! do you know that {feature X}, Will negatively impact our application?
Programmer B: Well that's our boss want, I can't say no.
Programmer A: (F**k I hate this guy)4 -
One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).
Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'
This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"
Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best. -
Oh, this PHP thing is becoming big, we must use this; *makes ASP*
Oh, oh, this Java thing is really popular, and we're not the big bois now! *releases C#*
Waaait, functional is cool now? Damnit. Dude, grab this~~~ *F#*
Uhh. So people actually like JavaScript now? A wild *~~TypeScript~~* has appeared
Why does Microsoft have a history of following trends, and releasing poor clones with no substantial improvements??9 -
There was an error in one of my Java file. Impossible to find it. I commented all the code and the error remain. I commented the import of that class and no more error. How the f**** is possible that a empty class give an error ?
I opened the file in another text editor and found out that the last character was a symbol that wasn't recognize or display in other text editor.
I was really proud (and confused)3 -
Getting corporate VPN access:
PM: Here's the program to get in, it should work.
Me: Won't install.
PM: sorry old version, here is the new one.
Me: Can't get in
PM: create a ticket
Support: Not sure, just try again
Me: Still won't work
Support: We forgot to set some attributes in your account, should work now.
Me: Nope.
Support: We are investigating.
*two weeks later*
Support: should work now.
Me: No it doesn't you stupid f***tards.
*gives up all hope*3 -
Always back up your data.
I came to my computer earlier today to find it on my Linux login screen. This could only mean one thing: something went horribly wrong.
Let me explain.
I have my BIOS set up to boot into Windows automatically. The exception is a reboot or something horrible happens and the computer crashes. Then, it boots me into Linux. Due to a hardware issue I never looked into, I have to be present to push F1 to allow the computer to start. The fact that it rebooted successfully, without me present, into *Linux*, could only mean one thing:
My primary hard drive died and was no longer bootable.
The warning was the BIOS telling me the drive was likely to fail ("Device Error" doesn't really tell me anything to be fair).
The massive wave of panic hit me.
I rebooted in hopes of reviving the drive. No dice.
I rebooted again. The drive appeared.
Let's see how much data I can recover from it before I can no longer mount it. Hopefully, I can come out of this relatively unscathed.
The drive in question is a 10 year old 1.5 TB Seagate drive that came with the computer. It served me well.
Press F to pay respects I guess.
On the bright side, I'll be getting an SSD as a replacement (probably a Samsung EVO).8 -
Recruiters call me and be like "I'm looking for a Python Developer to work in London with 5 Years of experience - Is that something you'd be interested in?"
I respond with - "Sure.. only if you can tell me where the f**k you found the word Python on my CV or ANYWHERE online."
1 - I've got ZERO experience in Python...
2 - I've got 3 Years experience in development regardless of being in anything Python related...
3 - I live 1-2 hours away from London...
Come on guys - Do you even read CVs before you blindly call? How shit are you!?
If I spent all my time calling candidates that had no relevance for the role I'm recruiting for (most likely to get call times up) back when I was a recruiter, my boss would have my nuts for lunch for making the agency look bad.5 -
This happened today
My Manager: How is the progress so far on the search module?
Me(After implementing some crazy shit requirements): It's all set. APIs are working well against the mock in-memory database. I need an actual database to run my unit tests. Where do we have it?
My manager: Let's pretend that there is no database at this moment. Go-ahead with rest of your activities.
Me(IN MY MIND): F*CK you a** hole. You don't know the first thing of software development! Which a** hole promoted you as a manager!!!
Me(TO HIS FACE): Ah.. okay!! As you wish!3 -
MacRant: was waiting for a new macbook pro release for awhile to upgrade by old laptop (not mac). Watched the release, had very mixed feeling about it, but still ordered (clinching my teeth and saying sorry to my wallet). Next day looked into alternatives, cacelled the orded to have more time to think, now deciding... I mean cmon, no latest 7th gen processor, no 32gb memory option, 2gb video is ok for non gaming, the whole "big" thing is TouchBar that I DON'T F* NEED. They should drop the "Pro" and name it "Fancy Strip".
So I looked into alternatives, and Dell XPS 15 with maxed spect is twice as juicier, and has not a touch bar, but the whole touch freakin 4k screen, for the less price :/
Just wanted to rant about the new macbook's spec and price and see what you all think of macbook vs alternatives?16 -
WTF, Google?! Get your shit together!! No one wants another GUI disaster makeover which leads us from bad to worse.
Every time I log into g+ or gmail, the whole flippin GUI has changed.. OK, it might be just my taste for simplicity, but I do not think a 'better GUI' should make you feel like an ape trying to code.. :\
If people with programming skills can't use it 'out of the box' & without googling stuff like "where did you hid the new email button", how the f do other people who are IT inept supposed to use it!? OR is it just me?! If it's just me, I'll shut up and love the new GUI.. otherwise: juck!!
#itSucksToBeOnTheOtherSideOfTheCode :\9 -
Ok so I've been working on this bug for the past four days, fucking non-stop. I wanted to fucking die, was wishing I could just "pkill -f mylife". I tried fucking everything, did what the documentation told me to, stack overflow, tried different versions of the API, read through more lines of documentation than lines in the bible, to no avail. Start comparing screenshots of error logs from the past four days, notice that I started getting a line saying that it's connecting to the config file in a different location from default. I realize that the config file does not match the config file provided by the package installed, so I switch it to the default location. IT FUCKING WORKED, I've tested it nearly 10 times now and I am still in disbelief. It was a rollercoaster of emotions fixing the bug but now I'm just smiling like a fool in my chair at work now.6
-
No work experience: I'm gonna be the best programmer in the world. My code is beautiful. This is my passion.
After 1-2 years experience: just f@#$!ng work pls so i can go home goddamit i hate my life im hungry f@$!% everyone.4 -
(the meeting)
I've had a non-IT world colleague ask me to build a website, I asked if it's a static website like resume etc with no database & stuff. I quoted $1000 if that's the case since that's minimal maintenance
He goes he needs a simple website, like eBay to sell his products. Also need features like Amazon, integration of various payments. And this and that.
For $1000 !!
I felt good that he thinks I can make an e-commerce site but f¢k that thinking man.. I told him to hire a freelancer and told him about few sites.
Maybe we'll see a thousand dollar e-commerce site, haha I only hope the payments part is secure 😂😂 I ain't buying anything anyways. I'm 99 % sure nobody's gonna do it and next time we talk, he's gonna be like 1000 and a 50 haha3 -
A project I'm working on uses Elastic for internal monitoring and logs. The customer asked to access those logs - not something we'd normally do, but it's isolated from other things we use and there's no critical data there, so what the heck, let them have it.
Ever since, we're getting tons of questions like "There are tons of [insert random info message] all the time, do you have any plans to resolve them?" and it gets to the point where I'm just about ready to scream back "NO, SUZAN, BOOKING NOT COMPLETED MANS THE USER F###ING CANCELLED IT, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN FIX IN THE CODE"
Edit: the customer's name isn't actually Suzan4 -
So they took away our offices in favour of an open layout. This would have been fine if it was just us 3 devs and the manager, but we're sharing a space with network techs, help desk, the manager's secretary and an Accounts department all with little to no separation.
I'm now in the midst of incessant ringing of phones, idle chatter and raucous laughter with nowhere to retreat to for silence; I have no idea how/when I'm going to get any work done now. 😥😞
The organisation I work for is a f**king joke when it comes to management making any kind of logical decision.12 -
After long time logged into windows desktop and dared to open internet explorer then I seen option
"What's New in Internet Explorer 8"
So I thought let's see what's new in IE8
When I clicked on that option, suddenly my CPU fan stopped working.
There was no connection between them,
But what a coincidence!
F***U IE:D2 -
Rant on adaptive brightness....
So basically on my laptop there is this "function" that if the screen is mostly black it lowers the brightness, while if it's white makes it higher....
This means, if you are on devrant or discord or visual studio or any dark UI and then switch to something like google you will get freaking blinded by the max brightness, and when you'll switch back to the first program due to the lower brightness it won't look good and also it will be annoying to the eyes, and you CAN'T make it brighter because that's already the max brightness
...
WHO THE F*CK THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A GOOD IDEA
If you really want to do something like this at least make it opposite: white screen low brightness, black screen higher brightness.
Well, i don't like it, maybe someone likes it, so can i disable it ?
NO
I have it disabled both in power saving settings and in the intel control panel but it's still active, the only way to fix it is set a registry key i found online and then reboot, but guess what, after one or two weeks it reverts back to enabled :/3 -
Been on a conference call with some coworkers and a huge company which is trying to sell us a new tool for our CI environment. Sales guys ask us sensible questions about our requirements and try to find out our needs. No one of my coworkers says a word. Sales guys rephrase their questions but STILL: Crickets on the line from our side and this call gets embarrassing. So I try to explain our SW dev process and explain what we need for our CI and suddenly Mr. Manager sends me a text msg telling me to to "STFU!"....Oh well THANK YOU, I just tried to be polite to these sales guys who were invited by US and took their time to present us their really good tool. I mean cmon...what is F*CKING WRONG with you?5
-
My former team had an "ux expert" who made ux templates for new features.
For years since he started his job, the team was told that there will be a first face-2-face meeting.
It never came to this point.
Instead all the team know about this guy is that his name is Thomas and that he does all the talk and decisions with our client without a word with the team, bringing their imaginations to li(f|v)e...
Genius! xD
No wonder the team got mad after some water had ran down the river.
At first they only questioned really poor design decisions.
But after a while the productivity of the team dropped, because they weren't willing to accept any of those design decisions.
Boi o boi.
Things escalated pretty well ;)3 -
Got a job as a database manager, they wanted me to update their sql server and some of their .net apps. Turns out their sql server had no databases and all their data was stored in an ms access 2003 applications that was using windows for workgroups security!!! It also had no interface, hundreds of tables and queries and there were multiple access db it was connected to. To make things worse the person who built all this stuff used acronyms for everything he did, table names, variables, queries and even bloody window folders!!! It was hard as hell to figure out what anything ment. Oh and the .net apps were asp sites that heavily used dll for storing his code and no one knows where the original source code for them are. Did I also mention there were no comments for any of the code, no database dictionary, no notes or anything.
So apparently I'll be rebuilding everything from scratch and transferring over the data to sql server. AND NO MORE F**KING ACRONYMS!!!!!!!2 -
Rant!
Been working on 'MVP' features of a new product for the past 14 months. Customer has no f**king clue on how to design for performance. An uncomfortable amount of faith was placed on the ORM (ORMs are not bad as long as you know what you are doing) and the magic that the current framework provides. (Again, magic is good so long as you understand what happens behind the smoke and mirrors - but f**k all that... coz hey, productivity, right?). Customer was so focussed on features that no one ever thought of giving any attention to subtler things like 'hey, my transaction is doing a gazillion joins across trizillion tables while making a million calls to the db - maybe I should put more f**king thought into my design.' We foresaw performance and concurrency issues and raised them way ahead of the release. How did the customer respond? By hiring a performance tester. Fair enough - but what did that translate into? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Hiring a perf tester doesn't automagically fix issues. The perf tester did not have a stable environment, a stable build or anything that is required to do a test with meaningful results. As the release date approached, the customer launched a pilot and things started failing spectacularly with the system not able to support more than 15 concurrent users. WTF! (My 'I told you so' moment) Emails started flying in all directions and the hunt for the scapegoat was on (I'm a sucker for CYA so I was covered). People started pointing in all directions but no one bothered to take a step back and understand what was causing the issues. Numero uno reason for transaction failure was deadlocks. We were using a proprietary DB with kickass tooling. No one bothered to use the tooling to understand what was the resource in contention let alone how to fix the contention. Absolute panic - its like they just froze. Debugging shit and doing the same thing again and again just so that management knew they were upto something. Most of the indexes had a fragmentation of 99.8% - I shit you not. Anywho, we now have a 'war room' where the perf tester needs to script the entire project by tonight and come up with some numbers that will amount to nothing while we stay up and keep profiling the shit out of the application under load.
Lessons learnt - When you foresee a problem make a LOT of noise to get people to act upon it and not wait till it comes back and bites you in the ass. Better yet, try not to get into a team where people can't understand the implications of shitty design choices. War room my ass!3 -
Fuck windows. Fuck windows and their stupid old OS.
Sure. I want advertisements on my start menu.
Nope, don't mind getting a vague description of some update and having to wait to restart my machine. Don't need to know what your changing.
What better way to upgrade an OS than to DL 6 gb of stuff that's probably mostly unchanged code.
Bing. I'll take 2 please.
How come stuff on mac and linux is always different than the way windows does it? Fuck those OSes! Visual Studio is only like a 50 gig install and I can develop iOS apps on it... plus it has C# AND F#.
No viruses with windows defender. I upload my personal files so MS can scan them just to be safe thou.11 -
You lousy fucking test class of an ass wipe,
TLDR; it fails and it passes all at the same time.
So during a deployment, one of the pre-deployment test classes fails, not something anyone has worked on so figured I run it manually to see what’s going on, but no the shit of a thing passed second time around.
Now because we can’t deploy without 100% of the test classes passing so I have to organise another deployment which it fails again. Fuck this,
Unprotects master
Git checkout master
Git merge dev
Git push master -f
Protects master
Skrew this!
Well would you look at that, it works now 😰 -
Just saw this in a production app. There's a reason no other language implemented VB's OnErrorResumeNext, BECAUSE IT'S A F***ING TERRIBLE IDEA.
Catch (exception e)
{
//not really an issue
Continue;
}1 -
There’s no better feeling then doing a full server rebuild, modifying several projects heavily to be portable and keep working under new infrastructure and loosing access to dependent systems.
Migrating everything across, firing up Apache.... and BAM the fucker just works and ssl labs gives it an A (it was a giant F with multiple vulnerabilities yesterday on the old server)7 -
I like the idea of Machine Learning in JS simply because I think it is way to fascinating to see what people are doing with JS.
Some programming languages tend to a attract very peculiar crowds. Some are even famous for the type of people they attract. Python is highly regarded as a language for scientists and researchers as well as beginners in development due to how simple and expressive it is. So you normally tend to see that kind ok f people in it(and before you bitch about it....no....it is not an all inclusive statement, hold your cock holster)
Whereas JS seems to have people from all backgrounds. It really is the language of the internet and as such the people around the internet have tried hard to make it better. So this can be considered an experiment regarding the way people collaborate with one another and I dig it.
Its all about working together ma ninjas.
Still a pretty funny language sometimes tho
1 + "1" = "11"
1 - "1" = 0
I still love it.27 -
So this just happened...don't test on production kids (....sometimes you have no choice BUT DON'T F**KING DO IT OK!?)
6 -
> Advice to new coders
Don't worry over picking language A or B.
Just pick A, use it for a month, then move on to B.
In a normal 3 year college degree you'll try multiple languages, some of which you'll never use again, and they'll each teach you something.
I had classes in Java, C, C++, C#, Prolog, Assembler, F#, JS.
Never used F# again and no one uses Prolog. But they were great for learning recursion and logic.
It's not like you take "a step down a bad path" if you pick a language you're never gonna use again.
You'll also learn new stuff on the job. We have one team that uses Go and one that uses Rust. None of the devs ever studied those languages. They were mostly former Java devs who leaned on the job.2 -
* How I solve a problem*
"Okay, it seems to be interesting, OK think solve it generally"
*Solved the problem manually
"Okay pseudo code is /do this and that/ break it and write Algo.
Seems like it will work,
Making all sense
Okay let's code"
*Wrote in IDE
" Hmm compile and execute"
*Expected output : Hey you!
*Actual output : F you!
Me: What the hell
"Uhh! Just gonna apply brute force"
*Somehow got the actual output = expected output
"I knew, it gonna solve it but how it worked?"
*Thinking
*Thinking....
*Thinking and it's 2 am
"Oh! I'm done, I'm going to sleep"
*4 am, while lucid dreaming
"That's how that thing worked, I got it"
*Relieved
*Next day using the logic dreamt of
*No matter how much surreal it is
*It didn't work
Me : F U!!!
..
..
...
(to be continued)2 -
Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"
Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU3 -
ESET Antivirus is a strange animal. On one hand, it seems reasonably well written, because unlike Norton or F-Secure, it doesn't subject your computer to death by constant disk access and 100% CPU load for 10 minutes when you start it.
On the other hand, when I clicked the link in the mail about renewing licenses and filled out the form, I was not redirected to a page where I could enter credit cart details.
Instead, I got message that some representative would get back to me in 1-2 work days. Eh, what? It's a digital product for f***'s sake. Now, I suppose they'll send me a hand written letter (written using a quill, no doubt), delivered by a bloke riding a horse and wearing a tricorn.
Well, at least ESET virus definition updates are pushed on the internet, and not sent out on 5.25" diskettes.3 -
HOW TO PROGRAM(in four easy steps) :
1. Google the F*cking Problem.
2. Open a Stackoverflow link.
3. Copy and paste the code.
4. If it didn't work, goto step 2.
If it did work, goto step 1
(you didn't think you were done.. did you?)
FAQ
Q: What if there is no code?
A: Then it is impossible.3 -
Main language, do people have such a thing? Some quixotic shit about various languages I use:
C#: Microsoft
F#: never quite committing to 100% functional paradigms while still being one of the most enjoyable langs I use
Java: null handling via optional and maybes are ugly, but better than it was
C++: surprisingly functional in 2020
Haskell: no one else seems to ❤️ it, despite it being fucking beautiful
Kotlin: Ternary warfare, Czech sports opinions on how languages should work
Clojure: parenthetical scoping makes me far happier than it should
Typescript: makes ever more sense as it changes7 -
Dear fellow project member,
I agree that most code should explain itself, but if you need to use a certain method which requires you to pass several different values of the same type and you just pass values as you like and then get, as you like to call it, 'unexpected behavior', then that is YOUR F***ING PROBLEM.
I DO know your thoughts about documenting code and I DO know you think documenting code only delays the progress, but if you for once could please CHECK THE DOCUMENTATION I WROTE, there would be no need to message me EVERY FIVE BLOODY MINUTES to complain about something that actually works when used right, just because you are too lazy to read the docs!
If you would do that next time, at least the time i spend writing documentation for our project would not be COMPLETELY WASTED! 😤
Kind Regards2 -
someone: so what do you do?
me: I'm a software developer
someone: oh, can you design me a logo?
me: no
someone: something simple, I'm sure...
me: NO, IT'S NOT MY F***ING JOB6 -
The 'i am a total noob' feeling is real fiah like a mix tape right now. last week on a personal project i had the problem of placing a div within a div and the buttons not being clickable. i fixed it by fixing the positions of the elements. today the same thing but will a scrolling div and f*ck me right i just had to forget the solution. now i have been stuck for hours trying to figure out the right way and fooling around with no solution. learn your fundamentals.
4 -
For our business we are paying the highest plan the ISP provides (240 mbps) but we get 110 kb/s. Wtf!! You write them, they answer “give your address”, done, “we doesn’t see any problems”, calls a friend that also uses Telenet, “do you have problems”, “yes, no internet”. What de F*** is wrong?? It’s nearly a month like that!! They really need to do something!!
16 -
F*ck WIX!!!
POS of software.
Was working with a client to change one email to contact and that shite kicked me out with no warning on changes. Reset the password and now I can't even login. -
20.000 holdings generated. Each unique in their own cute little way. Just finished the marketplace so users can trade the resources they produced, pagination is not working yet. Still no cofounder or anyone who would join the project. Still nothing to offer. :) But I'm keep going. There's a long way but I will not give up mr world! F* you.
9 -
Oh my God I fucking hate humidity
I've been without power for over 40 hours now. It's no big deal, but the fucking humidity makes it so fucking hot on my house and every fucking building.
It's about a nice and cool 70° f outside, but I'm still drenched in fucking sweat. Hopefully the power will be on soon.1 -
It grinds my gears to no end as to how insanely BAD most Electrical engineering software is. Lets start with Tina. A circuit simulator. A few versions ago it was rather good but now it feel like its built upon more legacy crap than fucking Windows! This causes it to have memory access violations and crashes even when you look at it from an odd angle.
On topic of circuit simulation. LT-Spice! It has less errors than Tina but is impossible to use without being lobotomized first. Who the FUCK decided it was a good idea to reinvent keyboard shortcuts by movin all of them to the F-row at the top of the keyboard. Also there is no option to delete a component. YOU NEED TO USE CUT IN ORDER TO REMOVE IT!
And at last Altium Designer for Layouting and Schematics. Whose license costs 9 grand. No one outside of some companies will buy this because of the price. Altium realized this and made two watered down versions of it. Which dont really get updates anymore. (last one was in 2018) So they essentially made a cash grab from people who cant afford their actual product. There also exist other (and a lot cheaper) products than what Altium offers. The problem is that they dont work well with interoperability. Schematics drawn in one program will look distorted in another or not import at all. And since Altium is the industry standard you got yourself this nice steaming soup of impossible collaboration. Its kinda like Adobe being absolute shit at progressing their software just because they got no competition. Or rather they do but the industry wont switch cause adobe is so engraved into it.6 -
!rant
How I think the process for designing a hardware-driver is like
CEO: "Alright everyone, we have designed and created this great product, now let's write a driver for it!"
PM: "Great then! We just code for Windows, create an eye-catching UI but leave the actual at the worst possible case that could work!"
Dev: "B-But isn't there other OSes, like Linux and Android that people use on their computers too?"
PM: "Shut up! We are going to JUST support Windows and f*** no absolutely other OSes!
Dev: "But what if they are also developers, and want to control and use this great product by programming it themselves? We should make the driver open-source, or at least give them some APIs!"
PM: "Nonsense! They are only going to use this product on M$ Windows, and with the program we provide to them, even if it's crappy and crashes most of the time!"
Dev: "But-but..."
PM: "No buts! That's our final decision!"
And some other consumer devs are like, "F*** it, we just reverse-engineer the codes and write a new driver ourselves!"
:|3 -
F*cking wifi driver on acer aspire. Suddenly the WiFi stops working, no way to turn it back on. Alright I'll restart if that helps your pedantic ass. Fucking hangs in restart and then crashes.... THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WITH THE LATEST DRIVERS! DID YOU JUST JERK OFF ON THE SOURCECODE OF YOUR DRIVER OR DID YOU ACTUALLY FIX THE BLOODY THING.
2 -
1) Using ScreenRecord record a video deleting his work folder(fake one obviously).
2) create command line vlc player to play this video on startup with flags -f and --no-qt-fs-controller
Eg. vlc -f --no-qt-fs-controller file://<file path>
Enjoy the show 👿 -
Rant! I'm the only developer working in the company and everybody always comes to me and say, oh you are the IT guy can you fix my iPad?
F**$ no I can't... Stupid iPads..2 -
Today’s DevOps public service announcement... don’t test your server provisioning scripts locally. Especially when this gem is in there:
rm -f ~/.ssh/id_rsa
echo ‘vault secret/ssh_key’ > ~/.ssh/id_rsa
Well, I no longer have my key, but the script works! I’m sitting with a very locked down server key6 -
Recently was in a recruitment hackathon for leading technology company.
So, to test ppls networking, team building skill they grouped ppl into a team.
I was teamed up with noobs, and had very bad experience.
One guy in the team was arguing to use PHP for developing a web app.
Me : What PHP framework are u good at!?
He: what is framework !?
Me : like laravel etc..
He: no I meant we use plain PHP!
Me (mind voice) : go fuck yourself, I am bailing out , I Do not need the job
Me : It's ohk we only know NodeJs , so, gave a wierd smile
He was still arguing ,but I gave 0 f***
This is considered as a fight!?
Yeah not the worst though
Apparently the recruitment ppl liked him a lot in my team!2 -
Never felt the need for a stressball until I started using those damn automatic checkout machines ...
The f***** juice is in the f***** bagging area and I dont need no f***** help. Who the f*** coded this shit ***** ***** *****3 -
It was when I saw that he was writing CSS in one huge file (couple of thousands of lines)
And I needed to change one thing (ctrl+f it) and saw it was copied and pasted 4 times ..
And no, not just the CSS properties, the whole thing including class/id selectors...1 -
Disadvantages of coding after midnight... Was modifying a makefile for an assignment when suddenly:
$ make clean
> rm -f com/package1/*.class
> rm -f com/package2/*.java
wait..
WAIT NO
😢7 -
Windows - how can someone possible get something done?
I gave up and are now installing windows for my son so he can install a game that only exists under windows.
Did a clean install, no network drivers found. Looked under device manager and tried to find out what network card there is on his computer. Unknown device :@
Finally found the manufactures dvd, ofcourse we get some bloatware, killer network manager.
Tried to uninstall it, the drivers was also uninstalled. :O Had to install it again and do some googling and finally found some pure drivers. Uninstalled the f*** Killer software again, and then installed the pure drivers. It works :)
Then I tried the speakers ... :@
Thank god my son is in school and can't hear my language right now.
13 -
Please. No. What have you done?
https://github.com/f/...
"I want you to act as an interviewer. I will be the candidate and you will ask me the interview questions for the ________ position. I want you to only reply as the interviewer. Do not write all the conservation at once. I want you to only do the interview with me. Ask me the questions and wait for my answers. Do not write explanations. Ask me the questions one by one like an interviewer does and wait for my answers. My first sentence is 'Hi'"3 -
One developer got a code and had to add new feature so he writes new function in similar way that arleady written one. Pass the code to next guy.
Next guy: why did u write this function like that?
First guy: Coz one was arleady written that way
N: but it was written wrong
F: ...so now 2 are written wrong (no he will not fix it 😂😂)1 -
"This page looks better in the app"
No, it f**king doesn't! I checked it, you lazy analytics-hungry monstrosity.1 -
So 4 months back I agreed to build a website for one of my relatives. In the beginning while discussing about the site they told me that will make the contents and photos that will go to the respective pages. I kept on reminding them about the contents and now four months have passed and I still have no contents and photos. Now they are pressuring me to complete the website soon. Don't they understand that I'm waiting for the f****** contents?! 😠 I kept on reminding them for four f****** months! And they think that I AM the one who is slow! .. FOUR f****** months for one website!8
-
Wow what an eloquent detailed explanation. Thank you for clarifying what the problem is. Now i know exactly what i have to do. You F U C K I N G TRASH LOWEST PILE OD GARBAGE OF HUMAN WASTE CORPORATION HOW ARE YOU NOT FUCKINGGGGGGGG BANKRUPT YOU FUCKING CANCEROUS SHITHOLE FUCKING ASSLICKERS FKKKKKINGGGGG GAYPAL FUCKKKKK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I HOPE YOUR FAMILIES DIE IN CAR CRASHES WHOEVER IS RUNNING GAYPAL
MY FUCKING MONEY IS STUCK IN THIS FUCKING PILE OF TRASH HOLE CALLED GAYPAL AND I CANT FUCKING GET IT OUT. ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL GAYPAL BLOCKS MY ACCOUNT FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND STEALS MY MONEY, LEGALLY????!!!!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN
24 -
The infuriating edgecases of python copypasta.
If you're like me, and you find it easier to noodle in notepad++ and the console, then you may have encountered this peculiar bug.
Try padding blank spaces on an empty string variable, and follow it with print(blanks + str(var))
#for any variable
Now copypaste that along with at least one other line at the same time.
Observe how no matter what you do, print will always output the blanks variable on a separate line, with quotes.
Try rewriting right-justify? No good.
Try using f-format strings? No good.
Raw strings? Inspecting bytes to see where the newlines and carriage returns are being inserted? Nothing.
Copypaste with multiple strings will *always* insert quotes and a new line when printing *any* variable with a string thats been justified.
And this is 100% non-congruent with pasting the same *line* of code *by itself*, which works as intended, no quotes or additional new lines are inserted.
I just went ahead, turned the snippet into a function, and called it from there, which solved the problem entirely.6 -
Look, I worked in companies that didnt givr a single f about security, and it wasn't right, but others go are just mad.
Me to itsec: can I deploy Django behind the company firewall on a machine physically 2 meters from you, users will still need the VPN to access it... ?
Itsec: no!
Me: flask?
Itsec: no!
Me: shiny?
Itsec: no!
Me: CAN I EVEN HOST ONE HTML FILE WITH INLINE CSS?
itsec: can I see your badge?! -
I've been using the Square REST API and I spent one hour thinking there was something wrong in my code until I f** found that THEY were not following OAuth 2 guidelines, which made their workflow incompatible with the OAuth lib I was using, so I had to mark an exception for Square's OAuth from the rest of my OAuths. Specifically, RFC 6749 Section 4.2.2 and 5.1.
However, after reading OAuth 2 guidelines, I became angry at THEM instead. The parameter `expires_in` should be the "lifetime in seconds" after the response. This will always be innevitably inaccurate, since we are not taking into account the latency of the response. This is, however, not a huge problem, since the shortest token lifetimes are of an hour (like f** Microsoft Active Directory, who my cron jobs have to check every ten minutes for new access tokens). Many workflows (like Microsoft, Square, and Python's oauthlib) have opted to add the `expires_at` parameter to be more precise, which marks the time in UTC. However, there's no convention about this. oauthlib and Microsoft send the time in Unix seconds, but Square does this in ISO 8601. At this point, ISO 8601 is less ambigious. Sending a raw integer seems ambiguous. For example, JavaScript interprets integer time as Unix _milliseconds_, but Python's time library interprets it as _seconds_. It's just a matter of convention, a convention that is not there yet.
Hope this all gets solved in OAuth 2.1 pleeeaasseee
1 -
Things I hate the most at the moment:
- PHP
- jQuery
- The person that coded this before me
- The fact that this person is swtiching from jQuery and native javascript over and over for no f*cking reason. Just why?
- My job
- My boss
- The big pile of sh*it that this code is (overall not just the screenshot), no separation of concern, logic code in the middle of the file, no proper slacing and indentation
- devRant no allowing me to put multiple images in one post, because the picture is just one of this whole mess, it's not even the worst part, you'd have nightmare if I showed it to you
- The mental breakdown I'm having
14 -
I was once asked to create a fully secure chat system prototype (the ui didn't matter) in 2 days. We ended up building a client in python (which I wrote) and it kinda worked and a c# backend that didn't really work.
1 hour before we had to present the project to some high up management we decided that we couldn't fix the bugs in the system.
So I came up with a cool idea. Why not use ssh?
So I set up a bash script that writes to a file and tail -f that reads from the file. That way you could chat securely with another person.
I made it 15 minutes before the presentation with no Internet working :) they said it was hacky but a cool solution they saw that day :p I felt happy and that I had to thank Linux for being there for me2 -
The best/worst code comments you have ever seen?
Mine:
//Upload didn't work, have to react:
system.println('no result');
//$Message gives out a message in the compiler log.
{$Message Hint 'Feed the cat'}
//Not really needed
//Closed source - Why even comments?
//Looks like bullshit, but it has to be done this way.
//This one's really fucked up.
//If it crashes, click again.
asm JMP START end; //because no goto XP
catch {
//shit happens
}
//OMG!!! And this works???
asm
...
mov [0], 0 //uh, maybe there is a better way of throw an exception
...
mov [0], 0 //still a strange way to notify of an error
// this makes it exiting -- in other words: unstable !!!!!
//Paranoic - can't happen, but I trust no one.
else {
//please no -.-
sleep(0);
}
//wuppdi
for (int i = random(500); i < 1000 + random(500 + random(250)); i++)
{
// Do crap, so its harder to decompile
}
//This job would be great if it wasn't for the f**king customers.
//TODO: place this peace of code somewhere else...
// Beware of bugs in the code above; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
{$IFDEF VER93}
//Good luck
{$DEFINE VER9x}
{$ENDIF}
//THIS SHIT IS LEAKING! SOMEONE FIX IT! :)
/* no comment */5 -
Been a few weeks now back at the office after a good four weeks off… still no work to do….
”Guess I’ll write a compiler in C then, a good chance to brush up on it.”
”… hmm, haven’t touched any simple html in ages, maybe I try and do this frontend as vanilla as possible”
”What if I tried remaking this backend with Suave? Haven’t written much F# in a while, here’s a chance to brush up on mah mad skillzors”
Never a dull moment, and while I’m cranking out code like a maniac, I feel very, very unproductive due to no actual work getting done. -
Ugh, I hate this stupid F*!
There's this new guy who's much older and thinks he's a such a f'ing hotshot that he undermines everything I worked on to drop in some a** backwards BS. Luckily I don't have to work with him often, only one day a week - else I would go nuts! He constantly name drops this same company, with little disregard for others younger than him.
Bitch, I'm close to 20 years younger than you and yet I've worked for a much longer list of much more respected companies. I've worked with legal teams on intellectual property, ran my own business, and have multiple patents. Did you ask me once my background? No, because your a selfish prick and an asshole. That's why you're likely in a mid life crisis, single, and alone. Fuck you!3 -
We just got a new web dev with 10+ years experience with the goal of helping out our rather inexperienced small team.
His first PR was for a rather large form with 30+ fields.
He. used. a. <table/>......To layout the entire thing! With inline floats no less!
How the f do you spend the last 10 years not bothering to pickup any modern css?6 -
Trying to debug why there's NaN% instead of 15% (project in JS).
Later realises isNaN(Val) literally checks for NaN datatype rather than Val is a number or not.
*shit*
Ctrl Shift F - isNaN in Atom (searches entire project), rethinks logic, refactors code
Looks around *no ones there*
Silently pushes the changes along with another major commit. -
Other Team: "our builds don't clean up properly"
*docker rm -f $(docker ps -a)*
Other Team: "our builds keep filling up machines"
*docker rmi $(docker images -q)*
Random Team Member: "My builds keep failing on service foo randomly exiting"
Other Random Team Member: "Why is there no caching on our builds"
...
team panics thinking it's their fault as our main job still passes, as it's on another machine.
...
When we find out after tracking build history
KMS2 -
Manager: These estimates are wrong
Me: Why?
M: These shouldn't take too long
Me: Well you asked me to make those while I was busy with the mess design did.
Jr frontend: Manager is right. They shouldn't take too long.
*me knowing jr doesn't know the system nor coding standards*
Jr: I'll fix mine to get a more accurate estimation. Do you want me to do yours?
* Me thinking f*ck no*
Me: Just do yours.
M: Ok. Then we are settled.
He just wanted me to fit a 10 week project into 6 weeks while I carry the Jr and was complaining I didnt do it well.
Fml5 -
I am working as a junior in a company that pays me minimum wage and doesn't give a single fuck about my existence.
"Change the job", you say?
Well, that's what I am trying to do for, like, 3rd month now. No one wants to invest into junior...
Every day I go to work with thoughts about quitting, but I need a job... Even if it's like this...
fml.
F
M
L9 -
I think I did it. I did the thing I set out to do.
let p = a semiprime of simple factors ab.
let f equal the product of b and i=2...a inclusive, where i is all natural numbers from 2 to a.
let s equal some set of prime factors that are b-smooth up to and including some factor n, with no gaps in the set.
m is a the largest primorial such that f%m == 0, where
the factors of s form the base of a series of powers as part of a product x
1. where (x*p) = f
2. and (x*p)%f == a
if statement 2 is untrue, there still exists an algorithm that
3. trivially derives the exponents of s for f, where the sum of those exponents are less than a.
4. trivially generates f from p without knowing a and b.
For those who have followed what I've been trying to do for so long, and understand the math,
then you know this appears to be it.
I'm just writing and finishing the scripts for it now.
Thank god. It's just in time. Maybe we can prevent the nuclear apocalypse with the crash this will cause if it works.2 -
People are bitchin' about pics upload not working..and no more meme spam.. Here I am, trying to spam with ascii art.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣😇
P.S.In case you're wondering..it should've been Eevee.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
P.P.S. it looks even worse on web!!
/|
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. |
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' '| |
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_,.-\"\"--._ / / | |
,' `. j ' ' '
,' `. || / , ___..--,
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| | ,` ' .` .' /
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,' | `.. _,' F
. |, `'----'' |
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`-..' ,' .'
| \\ ,''
| `,'. _,' /
| | ^. .' /
-'.' j V /
| /
| /
| ,'
`\"\"5 -
Okay today I wrote a very ugly api.. No f***king json mapper will handle that response in java. The values are dynamic... Good luck to anyone who will integrate into it... And good luck to anyone who will look at my code
Project manager please always give realistic deadlines2 -
Hmm. This code needs refactoring.
*recodes on Local and uploads*
Works on my branch.
*git push origin master and merge*
Works on Dev.
*deploy to Test*
Works on Test.
*deploy to Live*
Doesn't work.
*compares Live to Test, Dev, and Local*
No f$@%^%%$# difference!?!!
*quits development and lives under a bridge*5 -
The $customer gets a device from us, with th wifi connected as specified in the order. $customer connects it to the mains and monitor, puts in the dongle and the connection is established.
Fast forward 3 weeks, now everything went south. The device does not connect to the network, the service is offline. Our first question: "Has someone modified the WiFi name or password?"
$customer: "No, there were no changes in the WiFi"
So the full arsenal of debugging the connection over LAN starts, interrupted by $customer unplugging the device "because he needs LAN now"
After sometime, we figured out, everything is fine with the device, and ask $customer once again, if the config $ssid and $password is correct.
$customer: "Oh, we changed the name to $ssid2 because it looks nicer, is that a problem?"
Internal: "Are you f*kin kidding me? I asked you exactly that"
Me: "Alright, that explains the issues. Please tell us in advance if you want to change something with the WiFi." -
Best: chief university lab position, 12 yrs as a 👨🏫 system engineer teacher, really need a break, updating me as a pro.
Worst: last chief just left email with CISCO passwords. No F* VLANS reference, no technical manual, deleted all Sh* documents on PC.
So I about 4 days no internet on university, reseted 25+ CISCO switches, reorganizing fibers, all week 💤 6am-11pm or more. VTP server core nice and clean, nice VLans, ClearOS formated an licensed, ubnt portal for Wifi.
December, organizing all the administrative stuff. We are back stable and documenting. Moving and painting office, delegation of staff.
Now in vacations with a “tepache 🍻 “ 🍍2 -
Chasing fucking unicorns…
I want an F# job where I don’t have to deal with the M$ bs beyond dotnet.. no fucking M$ servers, no Win workstations, none of that bs that makes work uncomfortable.
Guess that ain’t happening.
Looks like I’m going to be stuck writing PHP for the dough indefinitely, and be content in playing around with greatness on my own time.7 -
My current job makes me want to question my life choices.
Its a complete burnout.
I do 9 to 6 never 6 though its always 7 or 730 come home exhausted, and still on almost all days need to attend to customers after hours. Customer meeting at 8.30pm are quite consistent occuring. Being a developer, debugging meetings I can understand to a certain extent, but why the f i am preparing quotes and pitching products.
Want to prep for new job boom no time left to do so other than weekends.4 -
I would really love a type-safe python - quickly write a script with all the IDE-coddling that a type system can bring, and run/debug it with no compilation.
I'm a big typescript fan but the compile step and all the issues of the node ecosystem are a pain.
Really wanna play with F#'s scripting capabilities but not yet supported on dot net core.
MyPy is somewhat promising but it's slow and not the most ergonomic, library support is still lagging behind, and it's not expressive as a proper type system.
For all the languages we are blessed with these days, it's an odd void.6 -
Colleges here in the US get to decide the GPA threshhold at which you can no lonver get any aid for. My college is the cheapest in the state (hence why I can attend, despite my treatment) and seems to make it stupid hard to recover from any fuckup, even on their end. First, anything that's an F is normalized to a 0% grade for GPA. Acceptable. However, any GPA-affecting grade that's a 0% also removes a static .125 from your GPA permanently. A combination of the school's fuckups, retarded profs, constant unhelpful runaround and constant server outages (even before the Great 2020 Fan-Shitting) ended in, effectively, 2 perfect As and 2 perfect Fs. My GPA, first semester, due *mostly* to extenuating bullshit, is a 1.75. I cannot fuck up at all ever again or i'm unable to continue going.
It's almost like they just want my money and refuse to fucking provide a decent learning opportunity due to all the absolute horseshit they force me through to do so much as schedule classes, much less lodge a complaint or get help with issues.
7 -
In my opinion, russian nation's chronic inability to fight oppressive regimes is partly attributed to one interesting quirk the russian language has.
When talking about injustice committed against someone, or making threats to commit said injustice, the actor is completely omitted.
Here's an example:
“Надо будет — найдут”, roughly translated to “they could find you if they wanted to”, is a common phrase to use when talking about proxies, VPNs and other online privacy measures. But the word “they” in English translation is nowhere to be found in the original text! Let's examine the literal translation:
- “надо будет” — “the need will arise”
- “найдут” — “will find you”
The English phrase “they could find you if they wanted to” can be easily challenged with a simple question: “Who's they?” The government? The corporates? The regime? The CIA? Who exactly?
English language can mimic that with passive voice: “you are being watched”, “you are an easy target”, etc. But in active voice, you can't avoid using “they” or some other actor.
In russian, you can. And you will. Indeed, this is how russian people converse. It's a very specific, very common pattern that never really changed.
It's a very powerful thought-terminating cliché built straight into the language. You can't fight an enemy that has no name and no word to describe it, not even a euphemism. The very language you THINK in prevents you from analyzing the entities that oppress you.
In a Tom Scott Plus video where he tried tightrope walking, he learned that they don't say the “F-word” — “fall”. You can't say “I'm afraid I'll fall”. You have to find more specific alternatives like “I'm afraid I'll lose balance”. The word “fall” in this context is a thought-terminating cliché. There is no going back after you “fall”. But if you “lose balance”, you can “regain balance” — the lack of a thought-terminating cliché promotes problem-solving.
Russian language is the same, but in soviet russia, language terminates you, I guess.1 -
After previous rant (https://lynkz.me/9xAFVZ9) he told me to be as close as possible to the design from the designer. There was on the left side a BarCode, which made no sense. So I didn’t add it. Now today (saturday) he told me I need to add the barcode because it looks classy. I told him we had a QR code already with same data. His anwser, yeah but it looks better with Barcode added too. Just f*** off! Your classy, shitty barcode will have a great price as it’s weekend. Thanks @linuxxx for the url shortner, it’s awesome!9
-
Be me
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Part fixed
No reee
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
Reeee
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Help me
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Reeee intensifies.
Going to shit diamonds
Reeeeeee
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee3 -
Got a new team and teammember who has been here for years seemed not so happy having me now as lead. No problem, i even can understand him a bit. Still, if you have a f***** problem there are better times to address them then every f***** time at stand-ups. -.-8
-
UI designers! Please understand that whilst animations are pretty, people don't want their webpages, apps and game UI elements jumping around when they're trying to interact with a button.
So Firefox for Android recently received an update that, stripping out 90% of the browser's functionality aside, has two glaring issues:
1_ about:config got disabled, so any options that, say, scaled webpages to not look like they're made of Duplo are now totally ignored. Enjoy your toddler websites!
2_ The search bar auto-hides. On every scroll. It changes the viewport size when it hides, making webpages frantically jump around and change CSS rules. There's no option to turn off auto-hiding. Twitter already jumps around like a rabbit on the strongest crack carrots can buy, and they somehow made it WORSE.
F%^&7 -
WTF is going on with twitter?!
- Yesterday I've Installed the app and tried to signup
- I've entered my birthday
- Entered phone number
- Wait for SMS...no SMS
- Tap resend...no SMS
- Wait half an hour...no SMS
- Tried few times...Started getting error: This number cannot be registered..
- Today I've tried again
- Phone number accepted
- Wait for SMS...no SMS
- Tried adding my number to a friend's twitter account...Received SMS code..
- Tried again signing up with my phone number, got error: This number cannot be registered..
- Tried from web, getting error: You reached your SMS limit try again in 24h...
How can I reach my f***** limit when I haven't even received a mail!
I've been trying to signup to twitter for 2 f**** days now with no luck, wtf is happening? it's a major social network for f*** sake.
And what's worse there is no way to send support mail, their "Contact US" page only has options for existing users..8 -
Recruiters. Recruiters everywhere. I know, I know, F# seems to be the new hot thing now that FP has gained popularity and every bleeding company is looking for one. Well guess what? You got to make a pretty darn good offer for me to jump ship, and no, I’m not going to make much of an effort myself. If you want me, you sell me the job. I’m not going to do the selling here. I’ll come to the interview, do a programming test if I must but I bloody sure won’t tailor you a fucking resume. Everything’s on LinkedIn and here, have a link to my gh acco. That should be enough. No? Well go fuck yourself!3
-
No matter the hard work you want to do, how much time you want and really spend to complete something, always a scumbag project manager will set the dates so that you won't make it in f*ing time!! Really now, it is frustrating!!
Well, I moved to a new company and all seems vanilla. But you know. Now I have this lesson to remind myself.4 -
Why the f*ck do you want custom cursor on the site? It's annoying when suddenly your cursor changes from default. If that's not enough they are increasing size by 2-3 times. I understand if it's a gaming site or web game but why do you want to put this crap on a business site? No need to change the cursor for branding. That's stupid.2
-
So, I move house with my amazing, already configured and stable router with built in VPN, DDNS, Port forwarding and DHCP addresses.
Received ISP shitty router at new address and want to use as modem only, so I go read the manual.
"Bridge mode requires you to configure your other router with PPPoE and the ISP's credentials"
Landline is not working, so I cannot call the number to retrieve my password. After 2 days of waiting, engineer visits, installs master socket, dial tone yaaay.
Call number to get password, automated voice message has such a bad sound quality that I cannot figure out if it's saying F or S, and there are two of those letters.
Put ISP router in bridge mode, set other router to PPPoE and put credentials, nothing. Try with F and F, S and F, F and S, S and S... Nothing. Put it back to dynamic IP address, it works.
I resign myself and manually configure everything I had on the good router to the ISP one. A few issues with my server and DDNS, but hey, internet works.
Start missing the other functionality, try the password idiocy again. Nothing.
Next day, go to work, talk to a colleague that lives close and has the same provider: "I just put it into bridge mode and it worked".
Go back home, bridge mode on ISP router, Dynamic IP on good router, no credentials. It works.
Why do I always overcomplicate stuff?4 -
Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.13 -
How do I help my colleague in fighting harrassment?
This is the story of a helpless employee facing everyday harassment. Im trying to help. Seeking for your thoughts
Backstory fast forwarded: My company acquired another company. So we handle all their projects and clients now, but its a completely new domain. So we needed new people. Hired 4 employees + 1 team lead to start with. But the project process got delayed and they were free for a month. So i took 2 of them in my project and gave them some small tasks to help us over. They loved working with my team and were learning new stuff apart from what they usually did. And we were also happy of their contribution. We became good friends. All of this was in March 2020 before covid-19 was taken seriously.
About my company: I love this company. I have been in this company for more than 4 years now. People are really nice. Parties and fun events. Lot of smart and ambitious people. So company and people are awesome.
Coming back to the story. Lets call the team the 4 and team lead T. The 4 were happy that someone like T was in their team. This T had all the best knowledge about stuff and life was going to be awesome for the 4. Or was it?
Story starts: So I talk to one of these 4 on daily basis. Lets call this friend F. F is a real gentle person. Intelligent and dedicated to work. F is awesome to work with. And always enjoyed working. F is a team player and very very soft person. F is fking workoholic. So few days after project starts, F tells me work was not going well. F is getting real frustrated at work and not able to deal with it or find solution.
What happened:
This person T, who was supposed to help these 4, is real piece of shit. He is impatient, arrogant and MFing dick head. Aaaarggggg.
All the good qualities of a leader like supporting the team, boosting confidence, guiding team when they make mistakes, teaching them, were all missing from this person. T was a machine with no emotion and only clock working jerk. I have no idea how T cleared interview process, because one of the interview round is also about cultural fit into company. I know this because i take interviews for other domains. We have rejected lot of such well qualified but arrogant candidates.
So whats the problem now: this team of 4 are learning new tools and taking over the clients requests from old company. Most of the stuff is new for them. So in tat case people need lot of time to understand and figure out shit. people make mistakes while learning and you know have to deal with it. Person T abuses these 4 when something goes wrong. That's one.
Second, the T definitely knows more than these 4. So if these guys dont understand certain stuff they ask T. But T does not help them learn. T will either say busy or run away by saying thats simple and ull know when time comes. REALLY MF???
Third, T does not talk nice. T is rude and does not listen to team members. For eg, If F says some task cannot be done for some reason T will say, "y cant u do it? U r capable of doing it. Tats y u r in this job". And then point number one and two happens. Never responds to emails and messages. But if someone else does the same will not tolerate that and abuses them. List goes on.
So y not escalate and deal with that T:
This person F and other 3 are still under probation and they think complaint or escalation will back fire. These people do not want to lose job in between all this pandemic shit. They are scared.
So this was happening for a while. And i was giving lot of tips on how to handle certain situations. And how one should communicate these.
But being a gentle, soft and workoholic person, F focussed on work and assumed things will get in place as time goes by.
Today, F could not meet a requirement. So T told some shit which got F all sad. and F called up me late night and started crying explaining what happened. I felt real bad. I asked F to file harrassment case. F refused saying it was F's mistake on not completing requirement. WHO THE FK CARES. PEOPLE CANNOT TALK SHIT. I told ill file harrassment case against T. (We have a policy where others can also file if person is not courageous enough). But F did not allow me.
Then after calming down, I told F that telling the problems to me wont solve them. You have to talk to T directly and tell him on face not to talk like this. Or tell the manager about whats happening. Or tell the the HR about this. F said tat cant be done. I was like Y THE FK NOT.
Because the other 3 are not ready to talk about this to anyone as they fear they'll lose job. So if F talks and people question other 3 they might bail out. WAT THE HOLY SPIRIT.
so after lot of convincing F is still not going to
Talk to anyone about this.
So i have decided ill write an anonymous email to HR, the manager and other senior people in the organisation about whats happening.
I really dont know how itll go. Ill keep updating you guys. Feel free to share ur thoughts.3 -
Why is learning a new language from python such a bitch? Like, w h a t t h e f u c k. Syntax can eat my ass with that semi colon no semi colon bullshit. Also fuck the compiler with it always having an error and shit. I was lowkey just trying to compile the shortest shit but cant get through s h i t. Fuck life I swear I'm gonna shoot my computer if I get another error.25
-
That moment when first coding challenge is a mathematical expression evaluator with custom unary operators but your code does not meet the standard because it did not cure cancer.
The fuck you mean I had no unit tests. You specifically told me that you don't want a lot of code. F@$#&#k -
(another) Russian roulette for devs
$jobs -l
[1]+ 642 python .....etc
$sudo kill -9 642
.... other commands here
arrow up...arrow up... (looking for jobs -l)... got it.
arrow up...
$kill -9 642
F*uck! (i remember that i have not changed the pid)
kill: no such process (luckly no damages)
anyone killed something relevant making this mistake?6 -
// Posting this as a standalone rant because I've written the best piece of code ever.
// Inspired by https://devrant.com/rants/1493042/... , here's one way to get to number 50. Written in C# (no, not Do diesis).
int x = 1;
int y = x + 1;
int z = y + 1;
int a = z + 1;
int b = a + 1;
int c = b + 1;
int d = c + 1;
int e = d + 1;
int f = e + 1;
int g = f + 1;
int h = g + 1;
int i = h + 1;
int j = i + 1;
int k = j + 1;
int l = k + 1;
int m = l + 1;
int n = m + 1;
int o = n + 1;
int p = o + 1;
int q = p + 1;
int r = q + 1;
int s = r + 1;
int t = s + 1;
int u = t + 1;
int v = u + 1;
int w = v * 2 * -1; // -50
w = w + (w * -1 / 2); // -25
w = w * -1 * 2; // 50
int addition = x+y+z+a+b+c+d+e+f+g+h+i+j+k+l+m+n+o+p+q+r+s+t+u+v;
addition = addition * 2;
if (addition == w)
{
int result = addition + w - addition;
Console.Writeline(result * 1 / 1 + 1 - 1);
}
else
{
char[] error = new char[22];
error[0] = 'O';
error[1] = 'h';
error[2] = ' ';
error[3] = 's';
error[4] = 'h';
error[5] = 'i';
error[6] = 't';
error[7] = ' ';
error[8] = 'u';
error[9] = ' ';
error[10] = 'f';
error[11] = 'u';
error[12] = 'c';
error[13] = 'k';
error[14] = 'e';
error[15] = 'd';
error[16] = ' ';
error[17] = 'u';
error[18] = 'p';
error[19] = ' ';
error[20] = 'm';
error[21] = '8';
string error2 = "";
for (int error3 = 0; error3 < error.Length; error3++;)
{
error2 += error[error3];
}
Console.Writeline(error2);
}5 -
Soo... Let me get this straight... My boss reeeeeeally wants me to reconfigure our database system to sync data between each of our 15 sites... Let me this about this...
Our database is an MS Access database originally written about 17 years ago. It was written as a standalone database that runs a unique instance for each of our sites.The person responsible for the database (still not the original developer) before I took over 6 years ago bragged about how they were "an 80s developer" (w...t...f!). Even with all of the fixes and additions (additions because... F&$#ing of course there are!) It's still basically held together by duct tape and spit.
Hmmm... Ok, still possible. What's the environment I'm working in... I have absolutely ZERO control of our workplace network... That's a whole other department. Due to the nature of the workplace (and it's sites) there is extreme limitation on network access.
Well... If I'm Reeeeeeally nice to the people in charge of the network, maaaaaybe they can give me access to a little server space.
A very long shot, but, doab.... Oh, the boss would really like this handled in the next couple months...
F$#k you! There is no way on God's (still) green earth that I... Alone... Can rewrite a legacy database... written across 4 or 5 different versions of FU$KING MS Access, and give 15 sites, with extremely limited networking, real time data sync in... Oh, a few months.
Now, I do not work with "computer people". I'm usually lucky when my coworkers remember their passwords (which, even if they don't, WHY tell ME! I don't run the network!)
And when I tell my boss basically what I just said... In a nice, pleasant way... They suggest I'm not giving the problem enough thought...
FU#K YOU IGNORANT ASS! Write me a ToDo list in MS Access (no, I'm not going to tell you where to start) in under an hour then, MAYBE, we can talk about... No... Just NO... Can't be done!
*Takes deep breath* so... Lovely weather we're having, right?3 -
tldr; Finally my NordVPN subscription comes to an end so I was looking at other VPN providers and I chose Mullvad. So far, it is an amazing experience.
It has been 2 years since I was using NordVPN. It was great at first but soon first problems started to appear. Speeds were not exactly breathtaking and I barely sqeezed more than 40Mb out of it. Another problem was connecting from PC to PC on local network with both of them connected to VPN. I never found a working solution.
Then Tefincom started pushing it literally everywhere. Ads on YouTube (+ partnerships), fake websites redirecting to NordVPN, etc. That was when I decided to just fucking wait until my subscription ends so I can finally delete my account there...
Today is the day. I decided to go Mullvad because it seemed to be really privacy focused (don't kill me - I know I can't have *real* privacy with VPN, but you also can't have that with your own VPN) - they don't know anything about me, no email, no name, no payment data (Bitcoin Cash). Speeds are absolutely f*cking amazing and also local network works!11 -
Gotta make a bullshit deck, not really my job, but I guess it makes a change...
Right-click, save image.
It's a webp file...
...oh just FUCK OFF WEBP YOU F-oh, actually, I'm making this in Google Slides. That's literally their own format! I'll just save these as webp, no need to worry.
(ten minutes and lots of saving later)
Drag a webp file into Google Slides, in Google Chrome:
"Sorry, this format is not supported."
Even your parents hate you, webp. Time to have a nice bath with a bar heater, webp.2 -
How f*cked does a code base have to be until you jump ship? I got a new job recently and been working there for about 4 months. It's a big company and there's ways to move around internally.. but holy cow the code is bad. It almost seems beyond the point of no return... Almost like a totaled car.13
-
Maybe I'm severely misunderstanding set theory. Hear me out though.
Let f equal the set of all fibonacci numbers, and p equal the set of all primes.
If the density of primes is a function of the number of *multiples* of all primes under n,
then the *number of primes* or density should shrink as n increases, at an ever increasing rate
greater than the density of the number of fibonacci numbers below n.
That means as n grows, the relative density of f to p should grow as well.
At sufficiently large n, the density of p is zero (prime number theorem), not just absolutely, but relative to f as well. The density of f is therefore an upper limit of the density of p.
And the density of p given some sufficiently large n, is therefore also a lower limit on the density of f.
And that therefore the density of p must also be the upper limit on the density of the subset of primes that are Fibonacci numbers.
WHICH MEANS at sufficiently large values of n, there are either NO Fibonacci primes (the functions diverge), and therefore the set of Fibonacci primes is *finite*, OR the density of primes given n in the prime number theorem
*never* truly reaches zero, meaning the primes are in fact infinite.
Proving the Fibonacci primes are infinite, therefore would prove that the prime number line ends (fat chance). While proving the primes are infinite, proves the Fibonacci primes are finite in quantity.
And because the number of primes has been proven time and again to be infinite, as far back as 300BC,the Fibonacci primes MUST be finite.
QED.
If I've made a mistake, I'd like to know.11 -
F**k this. Exactly The same site is displaying differently. Only thing changed? On left access is by local IP, on right by URL using no-ip.
Apparently it grabs CSS from project on another port
7 -
I hate Intellij so much ...
* it has the weirdest bugs
* like window focus not working properly,
weird comment/uncomment short (jumps one line down wtf)
* It is slow as hell
* doesn't compile properly (or doesn't give a shit telling me about its actual status).
* Not even the build log is working properly. Why can I hide WARNs but no INFOs?? WTF
* Panels are all over the place and keep coming back, regardless how often I close them ....
ARG ARG ARG, *smashing face on the keyboard*
and the worst ... even though I have the F***ING ULTIMATE version, it constantly nags me about BUYING THE F***NG ULTIMATE VERSION AAAAAARG12 -
Android fragments are so damn stupid. They reload on popBackStack, how the f do I retain them? Tried so many things from stackoverflow but no luck yet. So many precious hours going waste on little things.2
-
Windows 10 updating, decides it would be cool to install gigabytes of sdk, edge, and other bloatware without asking first, on a metered connection i use for work.
Guys, between you there and those fanboy demons in cupertino, one wants to just shut it all off and return to monke.
Sidenote this, because all of this nonsense started on that crap called Windows 8, which was in the end caused to copy that Unholy crap (sold as gold) that is Apple's range of products. It's a company that sells designs nowadays, like Prada, to say, Jobs era is long gone. Everything related to Apple, Mac, Safari, Development, Gaming, UI/UX, productivity and whatever is a
f***ing Nightmare.
We alreay have a global plague, and Apple exists, we dont' need you too making another catastrophe.
All this said,
Use your goddamn trillions to create your own customizable environment that is stable, fast, and WITHOUT BULLSHIT.
I don't give a mindflying F**k of the blurs, i know how to place them with a shell, if i need those. I want control, the shit i decide is going to happen, to happen fast.
This is of Critical importance, because it defines my productivity. And considering we're all sealed indoors since 2019, i want to get away from my pc asap and live my life, instead of spending time(and money, in this moment of emergency) fixing your F**kfests, or else seeing my pc slowing down to death.
First: IF i want stuff on my pc, I know how to install something, thank you.
Second: You can take it, all your Useless - Bugged as Hell - Nonsensical - and of no practical use Bloatware, and shove it deep in your Backdoor.
I'll debloat my pc with batches again, and there's nothing you can do to stop me doing that at every update you force me into.
So please, stop wasting my time, and yours.4 -
"Hi X,
Y stepped down from organizing meetup Z.
You are one of the top members of this Meetup, so I think you have what it takes to be a great organizer. Stepping up would help ensure that this community continues to survive past [date in the near future]."
Third time I get a message like this from meetup. Usually followed up by threatening to delete all group data forever if no one "steps up" (e.g. pays their bills). F***ing vendor lock-in! They have been colleting and publishing data for years only to blackmail people to continue using their services.
Some meetups (at least in my region) have switched to LinkedIn, so we will surely receive messages like above from LinkedIn in a couple of years.1 -
JIRA life:
Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.
I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.
Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.
"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"
YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!1 -
i hate you, you and you AHHHHHH
This doesnt have to make sense.
This is a freakin rant for god's sake, not a pull request. I'm not tryna be the best ranter?? Dont mind this rant. Just scroll. B if u can only hear my scream right now from the other side of the world, it sure can cause another big bang.
F u, this sht, (oh ya it's profanity, i got no better term for what im feelin, gahh please rip my head off) and that too, and this one too, all of u
I HATE ALL OF YOU. I BLAME ALL OF YOU FOR ALL MY INCONSISTENCIES. YE, IM TIRED OF TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. F THAT SHT COZ IT JUST RAISES EXPECTATIONS. I CAN'T EVEN MEET THE DEADLINES I SET FOR MYSELF.
The hell are ambitions and all that "dream life" they tryna sell. Those won't even matter when I can barely get my sht together. UGH. I haven't even seen my friends, the SUN, trees and all normal people things. Dang, I want fried chicken. I haven't had one for a while. I guess I should end this rant here and order one.
I must just be hungry, no?3 -
Hey guys! So I just woke up from a dream in which I was talking with skilled programmer and he gave me awesome pro tip which I'd never realize exists!
But it was my dream so my idea. I have no idea how the f*ck this works but it's awesome. Is it just me or ?3 -
*new message on LinkedIn from recruiter
Recruiter: would you be interested in a position on .Net ?
Me: I'm only interested in positions that offer flexible schedule (so I can continue my studies)
Recruiter: *proceeds to send me a long description of the job and company
Me: *read it. There is no information regarding the schedule anywhere. Search on Google the company and find out they have a fixed schedule 9-16. F**K!!, Why would you waste my time and yours, you don't even read my message or what ??2 -
Definitely the first Android app I decided to fork.
It was an open source OTP authenticator which hadn't been actively developed for 2 years at that point. At first I only did some small fixes and minor visual improvements but by now it's evolved into its own project with a lot of contributores and users on both Google Play and F-Droid.
When I started I had no knowledge of Java or Android development what so ever. So it basically forced me to learn lots of new stuff, especially once issues started to come in. By now I learned so much on this project that I'm thinking about re-writing the whole thing from scratch because I question some of the design choices from the original app I forked...
Github: https://github.com/andOTP/andOTP1 -
A**hole of a "Technical" Delivery Manager, who has changed orgs after at-most every 14 months, and says she can't read code or even understand technical things like Kafka.
It's been 12 months she's joined here, I bet she's again gonna jump to somewhere. Why the hell do they give these roles if there's no relevance.
Only thing she knows is to blame/assign anything to anyone without giving a f**king read.
Any random thread, she'd just ++ and say, ensure this is done on priority. There are 7 priorities already assigned, atleast reply when I ask you on mail to arrange your priorities in order so that you won't say we messed up. We've no issues ticking one thing at a time from the top.
Atleast do something God damnit!1 -
Not weird but f*cking annoying co-worker. Everything that sets people off he did. Also he never learn stuff like personal hygiene and stuff. One time my boss had to tell him to go home and not return to work until he took a shower. Also had didn't seem to have any work ethic at all and that got me fuming angry at him as he refused to do any work at all. When I was working in his apartment and got stuff to do he normally did and had way more experience in than me his coworkers were astounished how "fast" I worked when in realitiy I was taking it really easy. And this dickhead managed to make his stuff and then use the other time to play games ore whatever. In the end no one in the IT apartment wanted him to work there anymore. And he even managed to offend and insult our boss so much that he had to call him Mr. instead of his name. My co-workers even collected money for him to come to work looking like a human being and taking care of himself. I'm so glad I am no longer required to talk to or even work with this moron ever again
-
Casting Netflix on the latest Chromecast devices forces you to re-log in to your account on the TV every time you click that Cast button on your mobile. A minor problem for people with a small family and no friends. A big pain for those who cast from different accounts.
And a massive problem for me and one of our hardware solutions which remotely streams mutliple chromecast devices via a UDP directly in to different rooms in a hotel.
F*ck you Google TV, you insistent piece of crap, I'm going back to Chromecast Ultra.3 -
Today, I was thinking, "I haven't tried the new Edge Chromium version for so long. I should give it a try to see what's new have been added". So, I downloaded Edge and opened the EXE and Volla!
It says, You cannot use Microsoft Edge with an older version of Windows 10 (Mine is not that old btw).
I'm like, "F**k you Mircrosoft. You have ruined the OS so many times with your F**king updates. After trying so many things I finally disabled Windows 10's Force updates permanently. I don't wanna lose this freedom. No, Thank you..."
Bye bye microsoft Edge Chromium forever.
5 -
Okay, so, my company does some stuff around blockchain. I had source for smart contract prepared before and it was on 'todo' queue. So, time for it, time to deploy on Kovan, time to test it on actual chain. Riiiight? Okay compiled no problem, deployed, no problem, i plug into several gui's ABI provided by compiler, and... Well..
I still do not understand why each and every gui prompted me to send view transactions (external view), instead of, well, eval them locally, i checked the ABI manually, it is correct, i stripped it down, it is correct, all up to spec.
I try older version of offline MEW, to have older web3.js with no success that thing works properly.
Every
Single
Web3.js based client
Behaved
Differently
And none behaved correctly.
I would, like, understand, if I didnt use official compiler, but official compiler should for F sakes be compatible with official client.
Today this stole 6 hours of my life, I didnt manage to solve it, and I am legitmitely pissed.
Im getting close to re-implement segment of web3JS to be able to do the tests I need to do.
Its not like I havent done it before.... -
StackOverflow locked my account. I'm hoping someone here might be kind enough to help me with a bash script I'm "bashing" my head with. Actually, it's zsh on MacOS if it makes any difference.
I have an input file. Four lines. No blank lines. Each of the four lines has two strings of text delimited by a tab. Each string on either side of the tab is either one word with no spaces or a bunch of words with spaces. Like this (using <tab> as a placeholder here on Devrant for where the tab actually is)
ABC<tab>DEF
GHI<tab>jkl mno pq
RST<tab>UV
wx<tab>Yz
I need to open and read the file, separate them into key-value pairs, and put them into an array for processing. I have this script to do that:
# Get input arguments
search_string_file="$1"
file_path="$2"
# Read search strings and corresponding names from the file and store in arrays
search_strings=()
search_names=()
# Read search strings and corresponding names from the file and store in arrays
while IFS= read -r line || [[ -n "$line" ]]; do
echo "Line: $line"
search_string=$(echo "$line" | awk -F'\t' '{print $1}')
name=$(echo "$line" | awk -F'\t' '{print $2}')
search_strings+=("$search_string")
search_names+=("$name")
done < "$search_string_file"
# Debug: Print the entire array of search strings
echo "Search strings array:"
for (( i=0; i<${#search_strings[@]}; i++ )); do
echo "[$i] ${search_strings[$i]} -- ${search_names[$i]}"
done
However, in the output, I get the following:
Line: ABC<tab>DEF
Line: GHI<tab>jkl mno pq
Line: RST<tab>UV
Line: wx<tab>Yz
Search strings array:
[0] --
[1] ABC -- DEF
[2] GHI -- jkl mno pq
[3] RST -- UV
That's it. I seem to be off by one because that last line...
Line: wx<tab>Yz
never gets added to the array. What I need it to be is:
[0] ABC -- DEF
[1] GHI -- jkl mno pq
[2] RST -- UV
[3] wx -- Yz
What am I doing wrong here?
Thanks.
17 -
Friend (civil engineer) : bro do you have windows cd?
Me : no but why?
F: I want to format my pc.
M : then buy genuine copy.
F : don't want to waste money in that.
M : then don't cry for lagging windows 😂😂😂
F : do you have any cost efficient way?
M : yes ,but tell me one thing ,why do you need a computer?
F : browser , office , Dropbox ( cad installed in his desk which have genuine windows)
*After 10 minutes of conversation*
F: I will bring laptop , install Ubuntu in it2 -
Motherf*ing broadcom and thair sh*tty wlan adapters with 0 comaptibility so you have do download drivers witch you CANT because you have no FRIGGING wifi. *Downloads drivers from another pc*
Mak install ERROR this variable is not set when initiated. WHAT??? Yo are a sotware company and cant even make Installers what the f*ck1 -
What the fuck! Sick of this shitty build system we have. Apparently once you have used it too many times the same way, a bug kicks in. So you rhn another of their shittty tools to "update" and now it says you have no buildtools. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! Fu&#! Fu&#! Fu&#! Fu&#! F f f fuuuuuuuuu&#!
-
Okay, so there's one guy in my class, which offends me for no reason (I don't give a f about that), and then few minutes later he comes to me and asks "can you make forum/launcher/website". So I say no, because I'm not gonna waste my time for free... So he offends me even more.
When I was telling "Sure, but that will cost you X PLN (Polish Nominals)" - he laughed.
This is really annoying.7 -
!rant
...so I started learning F#... again, second attempt, first one failed like 3 years ago because I had no real usecase appropriate for the language, so I didn't get it.
...but now i'm trying to make my own language, meaning also (wanting) parser/interpreter/compiler, and I found a lecture where dude shows off THREE he wrote (within 24 hours) for three different languages...
...and it showed me that doing my parser/interpreter/compiler in F#, using pattern matching, is going to be incredibly awesome, as opposed to doing it as string parsing in C#...6 -
"Hey mate, you should learn some zen coding you know."
"Ow that's one of your tricky bullshit"
"No man, look and learn!"
"OH FOR F***K SAKE! ARE YOU A WITCH?"
-
//norant
I'm convinced, I love my wife's brand new Tesla Model X P90D.. 5411 lbs blowing 0-60 in 3.17 seconds.. it's f*cking ludicrous.. no more petrol cars for me from now on!1 -
Story of my first successful project
Being part of a great team, I've shared in a lot of successes, one I am particularly proud of is my first attempt to use agile methodologies in a deeply waterfall-managment culture.
Time was June/July-ish and we applied for a national quality award where one key element in the application stated how well we handled customer complaint resolution.
While somewhat true (our customer service is the top-shelf good stuff), we did not have a systematic process in resolving customer complaints. Long story short,
the VP lied on her section of the application. Then came the 'emergency', borderline panic meeting (several VPs, managers, etc) to develop a process to better manage
complaints before the in-house inspection in December.
As most top priority projects go, the dev manager allocated 3 developers, 2 DBAs, and any/all network admins we would need (plus all the bureaucratic management that wanted their thumb in the pie).
Fast forward to August, after many, many planning meetings, lost interest, new shiny bouncing balls, I was the only one left on the project. The VP runs into the dev manager in the hallway and asks "Is my program done yet? If its not ready before December with report-able data, we will not win the award."
The <bleep> hit the fan...dev manager comes by...
Frank: "How the application coming along? Almost done?"
Me:"No, haven't really started coding. You moved Jake and Tom over to James's team, Tina quit, and you've had me sidetracked helping other teams because the DBAs are too busy."
Frank: "So, it's excuses. You really think the national quality award auditors care about your excuses? The specification design document has been done for months. This is unacceptable."
Me: "The VP finished up her section yesterday and according to the process, we can't start coding until the document is signed off."
Frank: "Holy f<bleep>ing sh<bleep>t! No one told you *you* couldn't start. You know how to create tables and write code."
Me: "There is no specification to write to. The design document is all about how they plan on reporting the data, not how call agents will be using the application to serve customers."
Frank: "The f<bleep> it isn't. F<bleep>ing monkeys could code against that specification, I helped write it! NO MORE F<bleep>ING EXCUSES! This is your top priority from now on!"
I was 'cleared' to work directly with the call center manager and the VP to develop a fully integrated customer complaint management system before December (by-passing any of the waterfall processes that would get in the way).
I had heard about this 'agile' stuff, attended a few conference tracks on the subject, read the manifesto, and thought "I could do this.".
Over the next month, I had my own 'sprints' and 'scrums' with the manager (at the time, 'agile' was a dirty word so I had to be careful of my words and what info I shared) and by the 2nd iteration had a working prototype.
Feature here, feature there (documenting the 'whys' and 'whats' along the way), and by October, had a full deployed application.
Not thinking I would get a parade or anything, the dev manager came back from a meeting where the VP was showing off the new app to the other VPs (and how she didn't really 'lie' on the application)
Frank: "Everyone is pleased how well the project turned out, except one thing. Erin said you bothered him too much with too many questions."
Me: "Bothered? Did he really say that?"
Frank: "No, not directly, but he said you would stop by his office every day to show him your progress and if he needed you to change anything. You shouldn't have done that."
Me: "Erin really seemed to like the continuous feedback. What we have now is very different than what we started with."
Frank: "Yes, probably because you kept bothering him and not following the specification document. That is why we spend so much time up front in design is so we don't waste management's time, which is exactly what you did."
Me: "We beat the deadline by two months, so I don't think I wasted anyone's time. In fact, this is kind of a big win for us, right?"
Frank: "Not really. There was breakdown in the process. We need better focus on the process, not in these one-hit-wonders."
End the end, the company won the award (mgmt team got to meet the vice president, yes the #2 guy). I know I played a very small, somewhat insignificant role in that victory, I was extremely proud to be part of the team. -
So recently i got a message from aa person asking how to (these are exact words) ,
:break into insta's database using Sqlmap"
I then proceeded to tell them to "f*ck of ya c*nt ".
Afterwords it inspired me to write this rant
annoying classmates:" hahaha GuYS bEtER wAtcH OuT he's GonnaA hack Us"
me: " yea I can program I also do some ethical hacking and cybersecurity "
annoying classmates: "hahaH Bro your a Hacker OhHHhHHOOO BrO CaN yoU hACk inSta FoR mE I NEEd MoRe FolloWeRs "
me:" tf no one that's illegal and two it's waste of my time "
annoying classmates: "BrOooo CaN yoU gEt Me SoMe HacKs fOr CsGo"
me: "can you just please f*ck off , i'm not hacking for you everything you've asked me is extremely unethical and a huge waste of time, Also if you suck so bad at a game you need to cheat I recommend just stopping "
annoying classmates: "DUdE whAt ToolS dO i HVAE to DownLOad To Be A haCkEr"
me: *trying hard not to murder them* " I told you to f*ck off"
being a hackers isn't downloading tools it isn't typing at 90wpm into a terminal with green font its not about games or fame or anything its about coming up with creative solutions to problems , thinking outside the box its about individuality and breaking from the heard , looking at things from a different viewpoint,
it's about endlessly seeking knowledge.
It's about freedom though creation that's what being a hacker originally was. But because of big media and movie company's (and script kiddies) people now confuse hacker with cracker and think of us as jobless fat kids sitting in a dark room in there parents house breaking into bank accounts and buying drugs on the dark web (which people see to think there a hacker just because they can open tor browser. they then proceed to use google to look up "fresh onion links 2020") .
My classmates and really my generation has a huge case of smooth brain. They a think we can just look at someone and hack them they also seem to think using a gratify link to get a persons up is hacking and using the inspect element is hacking and that opening a terminal is hacking ! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Anyways ima end this here thanks for reading :)5 -
Hi fellow ranters,
Its been awhile since I last was here posting stuff..
So, I've commited to my effords getting shit done in golang. And I met a lot of painpoints, and I mean...
A
Lot
Of
Them.
Anyway, most of them are solvable by changing mindset or having some macros set up for no-one-fucking-wanted bloody boilerplate code that is omnipresent fucking EVERYWHERE.. **cough**
Steering back on what I want to rant about.
We with our team have one major problem with golang. There is no standard for docs in code...
Like, Fing legit. Everyone uses notation for closest to theirs heart language, so you get inconsistent-as-fuck notations for parameters / function descriptions.
We have functions that look like
//doSth does something
and also
// doSth
// @Summary does sth
// @Description does something but in more words
// @Param
and so on and so on
And trust me Im getting mild example.
Why this language does not have A F...ING (well defined, using proper definitions) STANDARD YET?
EDIT:
bonus context: We decided that too much of our code is undocumented and we go through efford of documenting it, but everyone sees it differently, and we can't agree on one single standard... So we decided to not refuse PRs due standard, as well, nobody would ever had PR accepted3 -
> Client: Could you check for me where did they[code authors] put logic for this and that
> Sure!
> okey, api endpoint here, hmm
> oh sure here is the database access
> where tf is some logic....
> fml, am I blind, lets check frontend
> FUCK
> it's there
> it's on frontend
> and backend just puts it into database, no checks
> FU0!@#% )(#*%)H )F+#+!!@!
> *to client* We need to talk about future of this project. -
Serious question guys.
How do you deal with stress of f-ing up at work?
I had to upgrade a whole postgresql stack today. Most of the upgrade went fine, but... Restoring a backup by pg_basebackup lead to an unusable database (would not replicate), had to apologize to the client and make last second modifications as disaster recovery, and all the while, ever since the DB didn't start up, to when I eventually went back to work and was no longer alone on the task, I was going through a crippling anxiety...
I... Love the job, but incidents like this... Make me doubt my future as anything more than a mediocre sysadmin...14 -
asl v0.1.3 has been released!
Full Windows compatibility and way lower timelapse times. Probably the best release so far.
Go on, pip install asl-screenlapse
(Way off target of https://devrant.com/rants/2251757/...)
Also probably the last cos you can just oneline it with ffmpeg: x11grab, speedup, direct output to file. So I'll write asl.sh. So simple I deserve no credit.
https://github.com/skuzzymiglet/...
https://pypi.org/project/...
https://github.com/skuzzymiglet/asl -
Please please stop asking me every time I present some new feature if this is something we can patent - I have no f*cking idea and you’re missing the point!2
-
I f*cking hate "ticket creep". I feel like half my worktime (as a tech lead) is spent just to contain what people ask for or report in a ticket. "No, you fool, this ticket isn't about that, file a different one!" is what i'm most likely to be thinking during any work day.3
-
I was pissed off beyond all reason yesterday when I realised that the reason my code didnt work for 2 days was because i spelled eForm with an uppercase F in my data model, and a lowercase f in my object classes. There was no way for the compiler to warn me so everything compiled fine but crashed at runtime when I tried to access that property. When I saw it, my head hit the desk....
-
Amazing supermarket for customers, but the worst company to consultants:
- You have to badge in-out using wall-mounted computers running a MAINFRAME app using number and F keys to enter your times.
- They have an internal mailing system that they dubbed 'Notes' because making 'Mails' available to all superiors would be breaking privacy law.
- They won't let you work 1 day from home when there's a national public transport strike and you have no way of reaching the office.3 -
Had a client whom was using the staging system on my server as cdn, remote computing, etc... because his prod server was a cheap vhost while the vm was a beast compared to it. I shut it down without telling. I just got a call that his site is now slow a f and full of errors.
I kindly told him that there was a recent security breach called dirty cow. Then I told him that I shut the vm down because it would mean security risk for him since there are no patches available yet and only Power on again with there was work for me to do.
If you want resources pay for them -
So, this is a story of an experience a friend of mine had with Android Studio.
As part of our semester, we are required to make an application through Android Studio, and had no previous experience with it. We started to download and install it all which were a nightmare on its own to make it work.
While i got it to work in the end, she encounterred a big issue. Her pc was named after her name, which contained letters android studio did not understand (æ,ø,å) and made it absolutely useless.
After installing and uninstalling multiple times, she ended up making and entire new user called "F#ck Android Studio" just to make it work.
No idea if there was an easier way, but damn its been hell for her4 -
Last weekend I was working on a small project for a friend of mine: a dockerized webapp, plus API backend and DB. I had some problems with the installation on the vps and had to try out different images and never really did a complete setup of my usual dotfiles. Got it running on an Ubuntu distro. Everything great.
It was the first release so I still had to check that every configuration worked ok, like letsencrypt companion container, the reverse proxy and all that stuff, so I decided to clone the whole project on the server tho make the changes there and then commit them from there.
Docker compose, 10 lines of code, change the hosts and password. Boom everything working. Great... Except for the images in the webapp.
WTF? Check the repo, here they are, all ok. I try different build tactics. Nothing. Even building the app on another docker always the same. Checked browser cache, all the correct ports are open. I even though that maybe react was still using some weird websocket I didn't know, but no.
Damn, I spent 5 hours checking why the f*** the server wouldn't make it out.
Then, finally, the realization...
I didn't install the f******* git-lfs plugin and all I was working with were stupid symbolics links! Webpack never even throw an error for any of the stupid images and the browser would only show a corrupted image, when decoding the base64 string.
Literally the solution took 5 minutes.
F*** changes on production, now I do everything on a fully automated CI. -
school:coding hahaa no
me:why not
school:becuase we arnt earning reputationf rom that you f***ing white male
ME:NO
school:...9 -
Just got a new soldering iron set for xmas, courtesy of my uncle. I went to use it to hardmod a PS2. Good news: PS2 hardmodded for easy discswap and SwapMagic with original ejector. Bad news: the iron barely made it through that before oxidizing to unusability. Even after I properly wiped the tip off with a damp, clean rag before and during use, it still corroded to s**t in seconds once power was applied. (No, refiling and tinning didn't help. The solder layer oxidized too.)
Soldering irons rust to dust in my hands in seconds. Every time. Even when taken care of properly. f**k me...11 -
Me: "Ok, downloaded the (windows) iso, now I need to create a bootable usb"
* Pulls out 4Gb usb drive *
Father: "That iso won't fit on that one"
M: "Oh yeah right, do you have one for me"
F: "Sure"
* hands over 64Gb usb drive *
M: "thanks"
* Checks content *
* "Backups 15" directory and other old files *
"Guess I can use that"
* dds iso on usb drive *
dd: "done"
M: * Reboots *
Pc: "Nani the fuck is that supposed to be"
M: * searches online for solutions, tries out 2 different ones, one being provided by microsoft *
P: "lol no"
F: * comes in *
"Is it working?"
M: "Nah, windows a bitch"
F: "ok, can you copy me some files on the usb in the meantime?"
M: "Sure..."
{ How did he know that the drive is currently empty? }
* copies files onto stick *
F: * sees empty usb drive*
"Did you delete the contents on the usb?"
M: "Kinda, that happens when you create a bootable usb drive"
F: "..."
M: "Why do you ask, was the something important on the drive?"
F: "Idk, doesn't matter anyways now, since the contents are gone"
Btw, it still doesn't boot from the usb drive. Windows 10 iso is a bitch.7 -
Some weeks ago I was invite to speak at the Campus Party and this past Thursday was the presentation day.
I was giving a mini-workshop about parallel processing to something around 50 people.
No matter how many times have you tested your code, in the middle of the presentation, it will fail and the next day after the presentation, it will work fine, without any changes.
I’m a bit sad about it and next week I’ll be at TDC to speak to more than 100 people and this if f*cking my mind.
Conclusion: live code is a shit and I’ll think 10 times before put it again in my presentation.1 -
I'm a developer, what have i been doind at my job the past weeks.TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO F*CKING FIX THE TEST ENVIRONMENT, SERVICES AND GIVE ME SOME PROPER TESTDATA, I cannot even test the stuff we need to replace because THERE IS NO WORKING TESTDATA AND NOBODY FEELS RESPONSIBLE TO HELP ME. Then how the hell am I supposed to rebuild this stuff if I don't know how it is working now >:(6
-
How the fuck can people acutally work with freaking windows?!
I use a dual boot with ubuntu and windows, the only reason why there is a small piece of windows is because i like to play games some time, and the freaking developers who are coding them are afraid of windows or whatever ...
Anyway, i wanted to try something with windows and app virtualization which required me to use windows. Holy shit everything is so freaking complicated if you want to do it not with a gui. Need some admin rights, ... no dont use the terminal you need to right click 'run as admin' and shit. I mean wtf?!
How can people who have a freaking idea of what they are doing using windows?!
Every f*cking minute with that shitty os feels like a hour. 2 blue screens so far, and it seems m$ decided to download some updates that freaking block my work and getting my pc to lag ... what a piece of sh*t!21 -
I've been writing on this TCP server the last few days to integrate our software with some services used by the rest of the company.
Noticed the company service keeps making a new connection for every single message, and closes this at client side (without signifying the server).
So I contact the team who wrote these services and ask them what's happening. Team lead of that team doubts that I know what I'm talking about and tells me TCP automagically signals the server on disconnect, and this probably is a .Net only problem.
5 seconds of googlefu: half open tcp connection.
Apparently, the application doesn't care about dropped connections and losing connection states even though every service should be checked for licensing when connecting to the server. With this set-up everyone can just send a message other than the registration and pass through any 'validation' due to the fact there can be no connection state.
F*CKING INEPT IDIOT(S) OF TEAM LEAD/DEVELOPER TEAM! -
Working from home.. no airconditioning.. no fan ('cause Covid particles danger).. f************ck.21
-
F U browser vendors!
Why is it, that we have specifications for HTML, JS, CSS, etc and we have browsers for more, than 10 years now AND THEY STILL CANNOT MAKE SOMETHING CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT EVERY PLATFORM!
An event is not being triggered somewhere? No problemo. An extra event there? Nay, still okay. Inconsistent state for the same operation on different platforms? Cool, simply cool!
But instead of fixing these shitty things, they introduce bullshit on top of this, like a media element requiring a user interaction to be able to play content.4 -
oh god, wake up snappy as a lubed tomato, ready for battle. Gotta take my adhd stimulant, namely Vyvanse or else it'd be cokedbenz-like, annoying the f*ck out of everyone cuz me wouldn't even manage to keep still.
So I take those 70mg punch and
my brain takes it like a sissy! It slows to a crawl, surprise, surprise motherf*cker, it's bed time, AGAIN!
Can't keep my peepers open. Why god, why that med gets me into hibernation mode??
No trouble, no trouble, son, pop some Ritalin and you'll be ready to go!
Alright, alrighty! Take a couple of those and it's like a coffin's final nail, Thanatos roundhouse kick to Dreamland! Wtf 😒
If I hadn't gone thru the "I don't need it", "better off without it" phase so many, many! times before, I'd consider not taking those, but I know, I know that even tho those first few days would be great, by week's end I'd find me self rampaging life and crashing like thunder, with a big bang7 -
Remember how I was - against all that was promised - assigned to a time-sensitive front-end (so definitely not my forté) project about a month ago? Remember how I struggled with the choices of how to go about it - switching from F# (Fable) to Rust (Yew) to eventually settling in with Vue and TS?
Yeah, I’m glad I went that way, even though there could’ve probably been better choices out there: my part is done now, even though it’s not quite prod ready yet (close tho), the team who’ll maintain it takes it over now, after I finish dealing with my current minor issue. And damn their front-end guy is GOOD. Makes me feel very inferior in that department. Well, I am. Back to back-end, thank you very much...
But I have an issue here, that bothers me. I’ve produced a codebase that’s obviously written on a tight schedule: no tests, no documentation, a few embarrassing hacks/workarounds and so forth. I actually feel bad for leaving it out of my hands to them in such a state...1 -
Why Apple has to do every configuration so f**ckin difficult? After a thousand logins, validations, and 2FA just to change my f**ckin region I find that I need to contact local support by chat or call even if my account is clean (no payment method added, no purchases made, etc.). Yeah right, great products, but crappy website UX.1
-
npm XXXXXX -f
seems to be the only way to make it work... sadly :( Even though I have no idea what I am doing.4 -
int totalHourSpentOnFixingBootflags = 5;
while (!isWorking) {
Clover.flags = "-x -v -s -f nv_disable=1 injectNvidia=false ncpi=0x2000 cpus=1 dart=0 -no-zp maxmem=4096" + Internet.getRandomBootFlags();
}
1 -
Fuck this shit. Any socket connection on JIO's fucking network gets dropped after 5 seconds if no data is sent. It's working on any other network. Wtf is going on???
Does anyone have any idea on this?
If someone has jio network please go to https://www.websocket.org/echo.html
And connect and check how long until it gets disconnected. Would be greatful if someone can validate this.
The project I am working on uses websockets extensively and this thing is screwing it up. I have temporarily set websocket ping interval to 3 seconds but what if the f**ckers over at JIO decide to start dropping connections every 1 second?7 -
Holy shit big companies are absolutely rubish. How on earth do they not think about the long term. I'm like "look what we are doing isn't right, we can't make new functionality that will no longer works in 6month. The other department webservices are changing and you're well aware of that" and they're like "we need to produce value, we don't have the resources, blabla". Why should I care? f#ck you it's not my company and don't come back crying that it's not working.
-
short: The admin with enough xp is ill, there is no one with xp with varnish is and after 1 restart varnish outputs only 503.
long: there original admin is ill but he gave me an project to migrate an typo3 installation to a new server. Thats ok.
Plan: I move 150 GB of data with rsync to the new server, let specialists do something and switch ips between the new and old and clear varnish with a restart.
Reality: +2 hours to migrate the data, because of false infos from the admin, 7 hours preparing the switch, 5 minutes switch, 3 hours to find out the F*****G varnish is the single point of failure. I and the t3 guys agree to see the next day what went wrong.
ALL HAPPENED TODAY!
Plan for tomorrow: speak with the boss to account the extra hours to that day so i dont get over 10 hours and debug that fucking varnish and delete some servers from another project from the backupsystem and monitoring.3 -
F Apple. I've got their touch-driven, motion-sensing, centimeter-thick, supercomputer (by 1990 standards) from 2012, and I can't fscking run Linux on it because my only official choices are the old iOS 7.0.0 over-the-air update and the newest iOS 9.3.5, and no one has published how to get root to either stupid OS so I can run an exploit on the stupid fucking boot loader.3
-
Me: Creates Basic Discord Bot with a tool, and mess with it, made it be a BETTER bot.
Bot: Yes Master.
Me: Time to re-home it on a new host(glitch)
Bot: Ya you edited me so much I have no f**ks ..
Me: sudo rm -rf ME
13 -
FMF! .NET Core's F# REPL depends on a bug. For two years the testing and building issue referenced as a reason for depending on the bug has not been resolved. Since 2016, no one has been assigned to fix the bug though the producer of the bug hates himself. Only the self-hating deserve love2
-
So, our lab professor in university for data structures was evaluating my friend's group assignment next to me and my colleague.
Professor: So, what does this method do?
Friend: I feel it would be best to explain our structure first and then how our methods work.
P: No, no. It's okay, I'm seeing it here in my laptop. *Looking at their report which included nothing about the structure of the assignment since she asked specifically only to place the methods and their complexity analysis due to not having time to look and evaluate a full report for each group*
F: Okay, *proceeds to explain*.
P: Okay, and why is your code commented?
F: Because it's good practice and we learned in subject x last semester.
P: Impossible! I teach that subject and I did not teach that in my classes.
F: Okay, but our professor did.
P: *Says nothing*.
They got a 3.25/5 as a grade for it and got really pissed off. I mean, they spent a lot of time making the assignment's structure perfect, optimizing their code and the professor did not care for the structure, just the methods, on the data structures subject.
FYI, they are workaholic, dedicate a lot of time improving their skills and their normal grades are usually >= 4.25.2 -
Don't you just hate it when there seems to be nothing but in some ways lacking solutions to a definite task in your capability arsenal? Or rather, I don't really know how I should feel about it... I've been developing this solution to receive a 3DES encrypted Azure Service Bus message, decrypting it and chewing the output XML down so as to be digestible to the PHP application whose API the message gets delegated to... but there just seems to be no perfect solution: subscribing to the event topic straight from the target app just... doesn't seem to work properly, a Python implementation.... well, let's just leave it at that... a Node.js implementation would require TS and completely rewriting a proprietary library with 100+ complex types - also, there's some hiccups with both the subscription and the decryption...
I started with an F# implementation (after deeming the PHP one flawed), and it seems it's still the best. But goddamn it I had problems with it on the dotnet core side of thing (decryption output incorrect), so I had to switch to dotnet framework... Now finally everything crucial is peachy, but I can't seem to be able to implement a working serialized domain model pipeline to validate the decrypted message and convert it to something easier to digest for the target application (so that I could use the existing API endpoint instead of writing a new one / heavily modifying the existing implementation and fear breaking something in the process...). I probably could do it in C#, I don't know, but for the love of Linus I'm not going to do it if I can avoid it, when implementing the same functionality I have now without the Dto and Domain type modules would take 3x LoC than the current F# implementation incl. the currently unused modules!
And then there's the problem of deployment... I have no idea what's the best way to deploy a dotnet framework module to an app completely based on MAMP running on a mostly 10yo AWS cloud solution. If I implemented a PHP or Node.js solution, it'd be a piece of cake, but... Phew, I don't know. This is both frustrating, overwhelming and exciting at the same time.7 -
Android + servers
Hey guys
So cause I barely have time to code I mounted a server with my old cellphone, so I can advance one of my projects at work (it's a helper with stuff like tables and calculators for work [CNC machine] )
The cell phone is a meizu m2 with android 6 (don't buy one, has lots of stupid bugs)
My problem: android terminates the server and a app I use to copy files from Dropbox to the server folder (only work arround the home rooter)
F king meizu bugs : resets lots of definitions to default, like I give permition to the server app to always be on and it changes back to default when I turn off the screen.
So when I turn of the screen the server goes down
Solutions to keep the server always awake?
Also better solution to change /upload the files without Dropbox as an intermediary
Btw the app that syncs also turns off every fucking time (so no updates till I get home)1 -
Debugging is fine, totally part of the job!
Constantly fixing sh1t and new reports of another pile of sh1t coming every day like somebody is throwing them with shovels at us just to open the codebase that is written by the folks who aren't here anymore with some list of obscure libraries that is last maintained about 5 y ago is not ok.
It is not buggy codebase it is actually coddy bugbase!
I tried to be vocal several times to change technology to more suitable one, to make some improvements and to remove code smells(there is a ton of it, smells like organic garbage dumpster with rotten eggs) but "everything works" and there is no real "value for the customers" in that(fixing, refactoring etc.)!!!
Yea it works with sh1t ton of bugs reported every week. Nobody gives a shit, just contempt with their mediocre lives solving bug at the time while i feel like I'm wasting my time and talent on wrong people and fixing other's shit.
That is what happens when prototype becomes product and ships to production because numbers, money and sh1t!
this is why we who care about our career can't have nice things! I am not god damn pest control, I am f*ckin developer.1 -
Confluence WYSIWYG-editor shall burn in a thousand hells. This thing pretends to be smart, yet all its autoformatting achieves is to enrage me. I don't remember dropping so many f-bombs in such a short time frame.
I hoped to ease to the pain by writing markdown, yet I can only write markdown in a new insert markup window which does not even comprehend nested lists. And don't get me started that it wants to push its Confluence Wiki syntax first. Why does it need to reinvent the wheel?
Why can't I disable the WYSIWYG feel of it and just write plain old markdown?
Confluence, you are part of the problem!
I rather keep the documetnation inside the git repostory inside of md files. But no, confluence shall be our source of soon to be outdated documentation.
Sigh. -
Client needs a section of their current website redesigned and add some functionality based on user interaction with the website.
ac - account director
ac: Need timings on FE build for his section on the website.
me: Cool can I see the wireframes/designs?
ac: No wires yet, designs are here...
me: *sees 3 pages mocked up out of 50 different ones in this particular section, and they all have different functionalities*
me: I can only give you estimates on the designed bits
ac: Just estimate based on the UX proposal, it's here...
me: *reads first line - "Make F&Q section and sub pages more visual*
me: Tasks described in the proposal are too generic!
ac: Just estimate based on the previous work done for this client (which have nothing to do with the current scope)
me: *dies and goes to freelancer heaven*1 -
My concern only goes so far...
‘Wow! Two factor authentication is not main stream... Are you f*cking kidding me? And you own bitcoin!’
‘No, I have ripple.’
‘Oh, well, not bothered then.’ -
F-word with three consecutive U-letters! SQL Management Studio just crashed, just when I had finished a nice script, that I hadn't of course saved yet. I must say SQL Management Studio hardly ever crashes, can't even remember the last time that happened before this. Wonder if it has anything to do with the plugin SQL Complete that I installed just recently? SQL Complete also has the annoying habit of displaying a popup every time SQL Management Studio is started, with a delay just long enough so you have already got started with something when you're interrupted by that popup. No, I'm not going to upgrade a piece of software that behaves maliciously!15
-
Arg! Learn to debug for your bleeding self you are supposed to be a bunch of senior developers it's the same bloody issues all the freaking time. So I create a step by step guide what buttons to click what text to enter because I'm so f***ing through with the same issues you bug me with day in day out! A 12 year old with no computing knowledge can follow the guides yet you don't even bother reading it half the time or choose to completely miss steps out and bug me with your issues.
Damn it why do I bother you bunch of ass hats get paid more than me too I know it! -
So the cocks* where i work have recently started a policy where sleep mode is no longer a good idea anymore. This is so that they can push gpupdates everyday, i.e bogus corporate propaganda such as changing our desktop wallpaper. Like developers give a fly f* about corporate events and wtf marketing actually do with their time. Filled with noisey ass b*.
I wouldn't be half surprised if the policy is enacted by the head of IT. C* refuses to teach any one on his team so this way he looks important and busy all of the time.10 -
I honestly think that a company as big as Snapchat, that focuses their entire business idea around using the phone cameras, should be less lazy. I mean why the F do they not use the camera modules on Android phones but instead simply takes screenshots of the preview? Makes the pictures look horrible, no matter the phone camera...
-
Cont. on: https://devrant.com/rants/3492672/...
... Fable as a framework is a hot confusing mess with little to no documentation. Gorram it. I was kind of excited for the prospect of ”F# Everywhere”, but if you have to turn such a beautifully concise lang into a hot chaotic mess to make a framework for web front, then no thank you, I’ll try something else that isn’t JS...
So I decided to lose my Rust virginity and give Yew a shot... never have I ever written a frontend this fast! Holy crap, I’m baffled...4 -
fn key is the most evil shit key from hell
no matter where you put it, there is no layout in which you don't keep hitting it instead of something else.. It's not like you need most of the F# keys anyway you can just as well have the functional keys without this abomination.. or here's one: how about making a fucking mapping hm? To inventor of fn key: "You can suck my balls!"1 -
I wonder sometimes is maybe management just like. Forgot that I'm my partner's primary transportation or something. I cannot imagine how else they would have approved putting them on a 4p-1a shift where they are alone and have no other transportation options save for me, their roommate who has to be up at 6a M-F, or walking home. But like it's 1a and actually freezing outside, so...
I dunno, maybe it's the sleep-deprivation, but it seems to me like they didn't think very hard about this, despite being made well aware a month or better in advance, and clearly understanding it then since HR had me take them for their drug test just before they were hired on because they didn't have another available ride.
But, then too, this is the same management and HR that left my partner without "official" access to clean drinking water or a working bathroom for almost 3 weeks because they delayed getting them a door code, so I'm not sure what I expected, exactly 😒4 -
F***ing GitHub Actions.
I just wanted to make Snapcraft builds of my game with CI and instead I'm fiddling around with YAML syntax because for some reason everything got formatted incorrectly.
Also I have no way of testing the workflow locally to save me commits. So I have to wait five minutes each time to find out that I yet again somehow mucked up the script and it couldn't snap the executable.7 -
Spent the whole day trying to get php driver for mongoDB to work.. made a php script that connects to remote db, the connection kept returning null/false no matter what i did.. in the end i uncommented a code below that fetches data with the "null" connection and suddenly I see data printed out 😐 well f you too very much 😡
Tomorrow I'll finally play with mongo 😊 i hope it won't be too much of a pain with php2 -
Deleted part of my build template for no good f-ing reason while trying to back it up -_- Of all the irony
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This conversation happened yesterday between me and a client:
"I need drivers for my Hackintosh build, macOS doesn't find and install the graphics card and the NIC"
I laughed at first, then i asked him his configuration..
"I have a 6700K and an MSI M3 H170"
Okay, things are getting worse here...
"So do you know the difference between H170 and Z170?"
"Yes, I have bought an H170 one because i do not overclock"
"Then, tell me why the f*ck you have bought a K processor if you do not f*cking overclock..."
"Because is more powerful"
F*ck no, he didn't said that... -
me asking python: is (0.1 + 0.2) == 0.3 ?
python: NO
me: wha.!!
python: Instead, it's 0.30000000000000004
me: what the actual F***!!13 -
<rant> Why is Apiary's editor so weak? It has no support for navigating from request to its code, it hides inheritance (so in the end you end up navigating source code via ctrl+f which is very cumbersome) and is buggy as hell. It randomly scrolls around, after awhile is laggy, syntax highlighting often breaks on a blank line with few spaces and so on... I wish so hard it would have had a plugin for IntelliJ IDEA with proper navigation and request preview. The web "editor" is just so clunky and generally bad :(.</rant>
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So i'm currently working on my PiStation..
(look at my previous post if you're interested)
I'm imaging over RetroPie over to the SD card, screw back together the housing, and it boots up fine. As soon as i configured my XBOX-controller i got to the wifi-settings. And when i try to access my wifi, guess what, it doesn't connect to my f**kin wifi. So i double check my wifi-settings in the router i just bought to get over my roommates paranoia (that's a whole another story. Just in short, he's got no idea of IT-security and tries to be an admin, which results in a HUGE amount of bulls**t), confirm that the settings are alright, double check the PSK too, anything is fine. So i go through the whole process again, download the image (from their goddamn slow servers), open up the PiStation, image it over to the SD card, close it back up, anything boots up fine and works, except this f**king wifi. And the thing is, i COULD connect it with a patchcable, but i dont want cables going anywhere through my room. Currently imaging over recalbox OS, will keep you updated. I just want to play some old retro games ._.2 -
What we will miss, if he really softens:
In fact, if the reason is stated as "it makes debugging easier", then I fart in your general
direction and call your mother a hamster.
In short: just say NO TO DRUGS, and maybe you won't end up like the Hurd people.
Of course, I'd also suggest that whoever was the genius who thought it was a good idea to read things ONE F*CKING BYTE AT A TIME with system calls for each byte should be retroactively aborted. Who the f*ck does idiotic things like that? How did they not die as babies, considering
that they were likely too stupid to find a tit to suck on?
Gnome seems to be developed by interface nazis, where consistently the excuse for not doing something is not "it's too complicated to do", but "it would confuse users".
I think the stupidity of your post just snuffed out everything
I think the OpenBSD crowd is a bunch of masturbating monkeys, in that they make such a big deal about concentrating on security to the
point where they pretty much admit that nothing else matters to them.
That is either genius, or a seriously diseased mind. - I can't quite tell which.
Christ, people. Learn C, instead of just stringing random characters together until it compiles (with warnings).
"and anybody who thinks that the above is
(a) legible
(b) efficient (even with the magical compiler support)
(c) particularly safe
is just incompetent and out to lunch.
The above code is sh*t, and it generates shit code. It looks bad, and
there's no reason for it." -
Generally speaking Microsoft's documentation has gotten extremely good.
Generally speaking.
I have projects that, at this point, would get considerable benefit from being able to write parts directly in IL. Sometimes this is for performance, sometimes this to be able to express things that are valid IL, but not expressable in C# or VB or F#. If you work a lot with language you probably know what I'm talking about.
Microsoft hasn't just not documented anything for doing serious IL development, they straight up haven't provided anything to make it easy. No IL projects. No IL syntax/intellisence in VS. Nada.
There is ILSupport, a third party extension which does offer this, even mixed language/IL projects which would be perfect for what I need.
Except Microsoft made a change in the newer SDK's which broke the extension. Where ildasm and ilasm use to be, isn't where it now is.
I'm working with the extension author to come up with a new solution but the lack of documentation and easy/reliable access to those tools is irritating. -
Got a question on DBMS Normalization. I tried searching but couldn't clear my doubt. So I have a set of functional dependencies for relation R(C, D, E, F, P, R, S) :
F->D
D->F
E->C
P->RC
E->F
S->EFD
PR->EF
So I have to convert this to 3NF. My doubt is that when finding 2NF do we find all the non-prime attributes that are dependent on a particular partial key i.e. do we take it's closure and create new relations for each partial dependency? If we do that then there are overlapping attributes in the resultant relations in this case I found the relations in 2NF as :
R1(P, S)
R2(P, R, C, E, F)
R3(S, E, F, D, C)
But when I just used the FDs as they are given (no closure) I found :
R1(P, S)
R2(P, R, C)
R3(S, E, F, D)
Which one is correct, please help.3 -
WTF is this bullshit ?
https://securityheaders.com/
Basiclly you get an "F" if you don't provide these headers.But there is NO obligation for any browser to follow these headers. And if it is an attacker with custom software there is no point at all.20 -
F@#^$$^#^&CK!
I accidentally deleted the rds instance of a microservice without final snapshoot.
No weekend to me :( -
that moment when you got just one night to prepare app for arduino based robot with pattern recognition. No hardware component with me and whole thing goes on asumption
f**k competition -
Friday 17.15
VM setup 2 days ago goes down.
Boot the VM up to find there are no configs! It's clean as when it was created...
F#@&+£! FML it's gonna be a long night2 -
Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
I'm going out of my f&;$)" mind trying to serve my site from digital ocean with Nginx and Node. Won't serve my page no matter what I do 😭😭😭😭
Literally been on this for 10+hours at this point.1 -
Question for those who are into mobile game dev: unity is still a shitshow or they just quit the idea of charging for each install ? Trying to choose a game engine and I have no f clue what to choose for a 2.5d platformer13
-
This person has never heard of the saying that there is no 'I' in team. He just focuses on the code not communicating whatsoever. F*CKtard
Meanwhile i'm trying to fix everything that broke down since yesterday 00:00.
Meanwhile other coworkers are also screaming their project is on fire...
should i quit?2 -
Client: Are we getting the finished site next Monday?
Supervisor: no it should be the week after, that's the date I have on our dev schedule.
1st week into the project, we pointed out the PM messed up the project end date (he took beginning of the final week instead of the end of week) and apparently he(& CEO) didn't bother to inform the client about the mistake.
WTF PM you f-ed up every single project since joining the company -
Just these little things that can drive you insane: TCP should guarantee that the order of packages is preserved, but somehow through a splitting of the message I get them files mangled. OK, might be our own fault, but then I just do a simple grep on the log file, but it won't display anything if I escape the f** dot.
Google it. No I didn't do it wrong, try different quotes. Nothing. Why then does it display the thing if I delete the dot?
Beginning to question my sanity. Grep just. has. to. work.
And that very moment the blinds of the window automatically go up, so the blazing sun blinds us, which as management told us, is not a bug but a feature, protection from freezing bla bla - and the control of the blinds gives me static shocks but refuses to shut them down again.. *sigh*
Just these little things. - Don't know, but I am convinced at the right time, a little mispunctuation or a glitch in a UI could drive a programmer mad. -
WTF?
W_T_F?
W-T-F?
W$T$F?
how the fuck do you brand codebases?
say you've got a brand called dicks,
and you've got a website, api server, some SDK's, and whatever else. How do you format the codebase names so it's A, usable as a variable name, B clickable at the variable part of the name, C, that's fucking it
dicks-website can't be used in js because
dicks-website = require('dicks-website') won't work
dicks_website can't be used in url's and in general because double clicking any part will select the whole word, so you can't replace dicks_X easily.
dicks$api seems to work, dicks and api are seperately clickable, and usable as a variable in javascript. I already know that the $ sign probably fucks up many many systems so that's probably a no go
has this question been addressed already?4 -
For f*cks sake, why can't I just remember certain pages I visited some time ago? It drives me nuts! Am I getting older or what? I am just in my thirties, what the heck should I expect from myself in a few years? I'll sure be a drooling old man as soon as I get 40. Dammit!
This time it was some JSON API for reverse lookups of phone numbers, it was a blue-ish site and you could take a test drive just by entering a number, and it told you the name and some details of the caller. And it was cool, and not for free, but still cool.
NO IT WAS NEITHER NUMVERIFY NOR TWILIO. Does it ring a bell? No?14 -
One day the full stack developer knows to explain angular in great detail really clearing things up for me. Lately he has a go f* attitude. Basically refusing any explanation at all. Not that he owes me, but he is the chosen one. The one with actual angular experience. And the only one.
Other teammember isnt doing or caring shit at all but is screaming about senior skills any way.
I need to get out.
But there are no jobs :( feel like ive seen it all and seriously thinking about a career change. Maybe start my own business. Who knows.
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