Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!14 -
My boss saw me tweaking some css via chrome devtool on a prod website.
"Oh, isnt that our html code ? So every one could see it ? You should find a way to hide it, this is not an open source project!"
Didnt even knew how to answer ._.
This not how it works ...15 -
My grandma comes to me with all her computer problems, but this time she came to tell me a story instead.
She said she was about to call me for help, and then thought about what I would do. "Google it."
And guys, she did. She googled it. And she got an answer.
I taught her to fish, guys :) I did it.
One down, 6,999,999,998 to go...12 -
Math teacher: 1+1=?
Me: one zero
Math teacher: wrong!
So i gived to her my calculator (in binary mode :-) )
Me: check the answer.
Math teacher: [saw 1+1=10 on calc] thinks about 10 seconds LOL then says: you calculator is broken!18 -
Teacher: answer this question without Googling
Me : *gives answer after using DDG*
When will people realize that Google isn't the only way to browse the internet15 -
Worst interview question (but actually answer) :
Interviewer : "How would you describe the Internet in one word?"
Me: "... Big"
I got the job by some miracle.10 -
Interviewer: Who created JavaScript?
Me: ... Seriously?
Interviewer: Completely
WTF? First time I face that kind of question in an interview... For the record, I didn't know the answer, according to Wikipedia Brendan Eich created JS56 -
So I picked up my little brother (6th grade) from school.
Him: We had computer hour
Me: Cool what did you do?
Him: We programmed a game
Me: That's cool. In what language did you program?
Him: English
I burst out in laughter because I didn't expect that answer.
I know I should have asked the question better.
After that I found out that they used scratch.7 -
Client(On Call): I emailed some query a day before. I got a response too. But, i am not able to find answer of my specific query.
Me: Let me check that for you. Yes, it is there. See the mail carefully.
Client: No. It's not there.
Me: Can you read the whole mail for me?
Client: Sure. *Started Reading* Oh yes. Yes. it is here. *Hangs up the Phone.*
Me: Sigh.5 -
Interviewer: (asks technical question)
Me: (answers correctly)
Interviewer: Oh thank God, most of the people we interview fail to answer that. So, on another note do you believe in rubber duck debugging?
Me: yes, ofc
Interviewer: but it's just a toy you know
[I was kinda taken aback]
Me: ...
Me: God is imaginary too you know
Interviewer: (he just laughed)
(So I laughed with him) 😅12 -
How reading E-Mail is hard:
Me:
"Dear client,
please send the pictures for content A and Content B.
We also found content C in your spreadsheet. Do you want content C to be uploaded? Please us where to place it.
Regards
Me (who does not consider this a difficult text)
"
Client:
"Hello. Please find attached the pictures for A"
Me:
"Dear Client,
Thank you for the pictures for A.
What about the pictures for B?
And what about that content for C?
"
Client:
(no answer)
Desperate Me:
(Looking at the attachment and finding pictures for A and B)
!!@**! :(
Reluctant Me:
"Dear Client,
Please look at the new iteration <here/>
And by the way.. what about that content C?"
Client:
"Thanks and find the images for Content C attached."
Extremely fatalistic and desolate Me:
"Well thank you. Where shall we put it then?"
Client (answer to the unanswered mail above)
"Thank you. Please don't forget to put in C."
-_________-*******10 -
Damn devrant, the double tap to ++ feature has me addicted.
Now I'm double tapping answers on Quora
1. Realize it doesn't work
2. Go to next answer
3. Repeat 😐8 -
I am a long time lurker on stackoverflow. There was a time I was stuck on an obscure error for so long but finally light shone when I found an answer to that problem on stackoverflow.
Overjoyed, all I wanted is to leave an upvote for the answer; before I realised that you need a +15 reputation before you can do (I know I am late in this game)
So I worked my way to that 15 and it was a tedious one. Stackoverlords deleting my answer, voting no to my edit and reverting another over petty reasons
I fought back by flagging my deleted answer with my reasons and alas the community backed me up by upvoting my answer (which was revived),the original answer poster approved my edit and @me a thank you comment. I was elated
And it is today, I got my +15. That I could finally pay back and upvote the answer from my benefactor4 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you17 -
Human: "Why did you buy an old iPhone?"
Me: "Mostly for cross-platform development"
*Apparently that was not the answer they were expecting*6 -
What are you doing with 2KB of ram?
1969: NASA - "We just put some guys on the moon and got them back to Earth safely."
2018: Me - "I'm just struggling to run a 10 line Java program that prints the answer to an addition problem to the console."17 -
>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted
10/10, would answer again5 -
(Interview for sde-3 position)
(continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/2132431/... )
Interviewer - *opens laptop. Gives a question.* solve this.
Me - *a bit surprised that such questions were being asked on a sde-3 level*
this is the 4th or 5th question from geeksforgeeks, isn't it? I know the answer to this. Do u still want me to solve it?
Interviewer - *not believing me* Yes
Me - okay. Well this *writing down the original solution mentioned on the site* is the verbatim code mentioned on the website, with complexity O(n^2).
However I feel this is not the optimal solution. Let me write a better solution.
*I provide a better solution*
This has a complexity of O(n log n) . What do you think?
Interviewer - Nope. This could be a lot better.
Me - okay. Let me see. Did some minor changes, added some caching (obviously this will have no effect on the base algorithm) etc
How about now?
Interviewer - nope. Still not good.
Me - okay. Can you tell me how to improve it?
Interviewer - no we are not allowed to solve problems for you. It is not our interview, it is yours.
Me - that makes no sense. Interviews are a two way street. I'd very much like to know the optimal answer to this.
Interviewer - okay
*copies down the answer from geeksforgeeks*
This is good
Me - *at first I thought this was a prank or something. *
I just mentioned this answer here.
Then I spent the next 10 minutes providing a BETTER solution.
May I know how yours is better?
Interviewer - this solution has 2-3 loops. Yours has a function calling itself.
Me - that's called divide and conquer using recursion mf!
Anyways let's take an example and do a dry run.
Interviewer - okay
*we do dry run*
Interviewer - oh yes. Yours ran faster. But it will run fast only sometimes.
Me - yes. Each time the algorithm rolls a dice to decide if it should run fast or slow. You have one goddamn awesome weed dealer man.
I got to go. Thank you for meeting me.14 -
Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
Asked Google Assistant what it knew about me. Didn't expect this answer but surprisingly point on.
All that neural and machine learning is paying off in a seriously creepy way.
BTW new to the community, first post and loving it!
9 -
The amount of common sense questions which would require an individual to use their brain and/or a search engine for approximately a few seconds in order to gain the knowledge needed to answer it themselves was TOO FUCKING GOD DAMN HIGH TODAY.
IT CAN REALLY FUCKING PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES.17 -
Me: So how do you handle conflict
Candidate: I use git kraken to highlight my conflicts and walk through them one by one
Probably the most developer answer i've ever heard hahaha4 -
Meetings all day. Latest meeting topic: "Why are we going to miss our deadline?"
Here's an answer : Stop with all the meetings and let me code!4 -
Trashy Girl that literally did not talk to me in over five years and even back then only talked to me if she needed something texts me today:
Girl: Hi :) How are you?
Me: *oh fuck no* Hi! Good, how about you?
Girl: Great! You know how to program apps right?
Me: *Fuck you* Yeah, whatcha planning?
Girl: Sooo my boyfriends brother has an idea for an app, it’s basically like instagram and snapchat but it’s actually *insert location based snapchat ripoff idea*
Me: Well sure but that’s quite a long term project and App Development kinda isn’t cheap to outsource!
No answer.
I’m like what did you expect?
Same shit everyday. Sometimes I consider starting a new life in a country where noone knows I can code, work remote and answer with “pleas” when people ask me what I do.13 -
Today was the first time I told a rude interviewer off. Feels pretty good. Fuckwad kept cutting me off with “Shut up and just answer my question”. Nope. Not taking that shit my good sir.17
-
Ever tried "CodeGolf" on StackExchange?
https://codegolf.stackexchange.com
I did it for a while and had some fun.
Until it became the usual dick-measuring contest that is StackExchange.
"Have you tried...?"
Bitch did I ask for your help?
The final straw for me was when it became obvious that people were checking to make sure I hadn't lied about my character count. Then someone downvoted my answer after I misinterpreted the question.
That was it for me, fuck y'all.
This C# Christmas Tree was my highest voted answer, approx 1 year ago. (Hope the gif works.)
6 -
Dear, Random guy that I wrote you an answer on StackOverflow.
I spent 15 minutes GOOGLING the issue for you because you either were fucking lazy or don't know how to use Google.
I wrote an answer for you on your shitty question with -2 rep explaining how to solve the issue and you just replied thanks and didn't even bother to either upvote or accept my answer. Not only did I solve your question I did it to bloody help you and here you are with your attitude not accepting my answer, and replying with thanks that i feel like you didn't care for me writing your answer. You can bloody hell burn in hell. I hope there is a special place for you and people like you that magically go missing and never come back16 -
SO: How to ... in JavaScript?
Answer: use jQuery!
SO: How to ... in JavaScript without jQuery?
Answer: use jQuery!
Me: ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I hate j-f*cking-query, I don't want to learn it!!15 -
Interviewer:
Here is a pen and paper. Now code in front of me your answer from the preliminary exam.5 -
And there was I struggleling with another goddamn error. Turn to a colleage and asks for help.
He looks at me. Breaths slowly. Then says.
"Dude, Jesus is your answer".6 -
I'm trying my best to like stackoverflow but it keeps pushing me back. My answer to questions ratio is around 8:2. Had a descent 900 reputation then some psychotic e-stalker comes and downvotes all my questions and answers and I'm only left with 700 reputation now. Why would anyone do this?
26 -
This seems like a 100% legit answer to me...
(Yes this is what i actually sent and not just a shit meme)
10 -
For the new episode of the devRant Podcast we're working on, we'd like to take questions for a new Q + A segment we're going to try. So if you have any questions you'd like me (dfox) or trogus to answer, ask it in a comment here. They can be about devRant, us, life, anything really! We'll
pick our favorites and answer them in the episode.16 -
Just found a stackoverflow thread that had no answer and 2 comments. Here are the comments:
Person 1: Did you find a solution for this?
Author: Yes, please email me [...@gmail.com].
Bruh, what's wrong with some people???? Writing nothing at all would be better then that7 -
Me: Enters SQL class
Prof: We will draw ERD diagram on awwapp
Me: (In my head - I hate ERD diagrams) start drawing the first ERD diagram
Prof: That diagram is wrong
Prof: opens SQL Activities_Solution.pdf on his PC
Me: Tried to change the file name on aws to get solution file - fail
Copy SQL Activities.pdf file url (https://url/courses/6429/...). Adds 1 to 1100726 = 1100727 and downloads SQL Activities_Solution.pdf
Open PDF in one tab and awwapp on another and just draw the solution
Prof: Are you sure this diagram is corect?
Me: (In my head - I copied the solution so yes) ...
Prof: Let me check the question
Me: (In my head - seriously? you don't know the answer)
Prof: Checks the correct answer on his PC and then checks the answer on my PC
Me: (In my head - completed another boring uni class) pack up and go home8 -
The longer I work in IT, the longer it takes me to answer tech questions.
In my jr days I was confident and used to blab out the first thing [solution] that came to my mind. But now.. Now I tend to require a few minutes to think about the question, the problem, possible solutions, weight out their pros and cons and only then can I start answering.
If I don't wait, I usually tend to regret rushing as a better answer comes to me a few minutes later
is it just me getting old? Or do you have the same thing?23 -
A bug in production, so I was debugging and the boss says to me "how do you stay so calm?" and I answer "just like a surgeon does't have to freak out with blood, a developer doesn't have to freak out with bugs"3
-
Friend: "what is the answer to this question?"
Me: "${answer}"
Friend: "yes, what is the answer?"
Me: "my bad"
Me: `${answer} is the answer`
Friend: "thanks man" -
So I'm on stack overflow trying to give back to the community that has helped me so much yanno.
So I see a question and decide to answer it but I'm on my mobile and trying to write a well formatted etc. answer is a bit tricky so instead I thought I would answer it as best I could on the phone so at least the OP would be going in the right direction and then when I got back to my computer, I would expand on the answer.
But before I had a chance (within 10 minutes of answering) some 200k+ rep dickhead decided it was his job to tell me how bad I was for not giving a proper answer and i have enough rep to comment and I should know better.
So I responded to him (my first mistake) and told him that my answer was intended to get him going and most likely he wouldn't need any more help but that I was going to update it when I got back to my computer.
Well he didn't like that and continued to berate me for my unbelievable behavior.
I then said that if he was that upset, then report me, or even better how about he actually answer the question instead of being a fuckwit to others that have tried.
I also said that I thought that SO and development in general was not about being given the answer but by finding it yourself and actually learning something and that sometimes you need to be pushed it the right direction to find the answer which is what I did here.
Well he disagreed with that too and downvoted my answer which by that point had been updated (like I said I would).
I just don't get it, what is wrong with these people and why has SO become such a toxic place?
I want to give back to the community and help others like people have done for me over the years, but then fuckheads like this just ruin it and make you not want to be a part of it anymore.
Then I come here to devRant and everyone is so nice to each other, you can see the respect.10 -
People on stackoverflow are really just the worst. Ok whatever, you have 20 years of experience more than me, and you've written code in dozens of languages. Doesn't grant you being a dick to me and downvote my answer just because it could've been written in 1 line instead of 5.12
-
When I asked my brother why he doesn't want me to teach him programming, his answer was: "Because writing code is dry and boring, like math."
Ok then.6 -
Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
-------
Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."
Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."
Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "
-__-""""4 -
After doing an exam with dubious answers, the teacher gave us the answers with our exams scores.
One question could have two answers and mine was one of them and was "wrong" so I asked the teacher:
Me: hey, this one is right too isn't it?
He: yeah, but the right answer is the other one.
Me: OK... So shouldn't it be reviewed, nulled or given points to both?
He: no, because the answer is this one.
Me: care to explain how you have two right answers but this one is the "right" one?
He: yes, because its "righter".
Me inside: FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
Me: you got to be kidding right?
He: no. Its this one.
So I changed course and never had to deal with that piece of shit again.5 -
>Answered my first question on SO
>Comment: "It's a wrong answer"
>Me: "Do you mind telling me why, so i can fix it? It could still help the op"
>
>
>
I see. You were quick to tell me I was wrong, but don't tell me why. Alright then.8 -
When someone asks me a stupid question,
I always answer:
You have the Knowledge of the Entire world and human race in your pocket,
FUCKING USE IT! DONT ASK ME! GOOGLE IT! BING IT! WHATEVER! JUST DONT ASK ME!1 -
Asked my Tech Lead a question, told me everything in Software Engineering, except the answer to that question!!1
-
Ok, I'm adding devrant.com, reddit.com and youtube.com to my hosts file for the next weeks
Damn procrastination
PS: If I answer or ++ any of your comments, it means I failed. You devs can hold me accountable for that, thank you!4 -
Everyone in family and friends allways ask me "You're a programmer and know a lot about computer, so why you're not in Facebook/Twitter/Instagram?"
My answer: We create these services for you (average people) we don't use them ourselves. It's a security hole to put your information in public.7 -
Client: "I'd like something like eBay..."
Do you answer:
A) Use eBay
B) You'll need more than the £250 budget you've set
C) Please leave and never bother me again7 -
This feeling when you search for something on ddg, find StackOverflow answer that is working solution
+1
"You can't vote on your own post"
Damn, smart past me :D
4 -
An interview scene today:
Me (interviewer): Ok so tell me this.
Candidate: Umm, aaaa, blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.
Me: But I didn't ask you this.
Candidate: I don't know the answer to that but I know blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.
Me: It's okay if you don't know the answer to my questions, we will skip to the next question.
Candidate: Ok.
Me: Asks how "X" works and why should we use.
Candidate: Umm, aaaa, "X is a .." blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.
Me: Okay, I already know what "X" is, please tell me how it works and why would you use that.
Candidate: Umm I don't know, but I know X is blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.13 -
Do you think you need to be smart at math to be a programmer
People ask me that, my answer is like.. Well.. No
That's kind of bullshit36 -
Me, explaining to my wife the difference between WiFi and Cellular as I explain why I need put the Pi from that other thread between our modem and router (and take our WiFi down) all so I can finally answer her repeated questions of "Where is all our data going???"
8 -
Hey junior... when I'm asking a question it's not the answer I'm looking for.... It's your thought process! Just tell me the things you will not do and we can take it from there!4
-
I am searching Google for a strange error message I have in my program. Find one stack overflow thread from a couple of years ago with one answer approved by the OP and upvoted a remarkable amount of times.. I am reading the question and it is exactly my problem...to the point. So I am reading the answer and it works and solves my problem and I am happy. Let's see who is the OP of the thread .... Um, what? No?! It's me?!?! And who posted the answer to the question? What??? Also me?!?! Guess I had this problem years ago, figured out a solution and posted the answer.
This brings me to some things:
1 - I am a better person than I imagined i would be because I never thought I would document my findings publicly
2 - I am the biggest idiot for not recognizing my own post
3 - Dafuq, why did I stumble over the very same problem twice??
4 - on the other hand it is totally cool to see stuff I did and think "wow, I managed to do this??"2 -
during an interview for a software dev job...
interviewer: so in your opinion, what is the best part of git?
me: pushing to master
interview: damn that's the best answer anyone has ever answered. well played. *wink*4 -
practiseSafeHex:
software engineer, iOS developer, mobile developer, professional "here is the answer I gave you the last time you asked me the same question" responder3 -
Got an answer from asking a question on Stack Overflow and it made me so happy that I giggled in my chair like a three year old.1
-
"You've earned the Tumbleweed badge (asked a question with zero score, no answer, no comments, and low viewed for a week)..."
Thanks SO!! When I feel down, you can always make me feel lower...1 -
Every 20 minutes, the newcome colleague asks me a question to which he can get an answer by reading the language's tutorial.10
-
Guys, please help me answer this intellectual being. The more stupid the answer, the better. Even better is if there is like a fake loooooonnnngggg step by step guide of it. NB: tafadhali == please.
21 -
In an interview, when you throw a simple piece of code to a candidate...
Candidate: ...
ME: (maybe I'm too hard on them)
Candidate: ...
ME: (ok, I definitively have to simplify this little pattern example)
Candidate: ...
ME: ...explaining the short piece of code and give'm the answer
Candidate: haaaaa that's what I was thinking but I used that long time ago...
ME: (Yeah... nice try)2 -
the fuck kind of manager are you that you tell your leads not to fucking answer their damn phones when services need restoring????? If your fucking team member can do his damn job like a grown ass adult, but sees that you (his lead) made a change and has questions, your ass better answer the phone, or i will rocket launch it up your ass, straight into your brain so it's the newest, latest, fucking hippest trend and hooked into your system so you answer every fucking call hands-free. Even when fucking "Windows Tech Support" calls you every 30 minutes because your keep expired.
There are people counting on you, worthless fuckwipe. Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourself. And do your fucking job.
Edit: phone tried to censor me5 -
I was asked to map a mathematical problem to an algorithm for first round of interview. I did it in 5 lines with O(n) and it worked. was told that was not the correct answer sent me an answer with O(n^2) and about 40 lines. in anger, I sent a five page mathematical proof along with analysis why mine was better. surprisingly, they took me in for second round. tanked it because I continually stuttered and froze. I was able to answer it once I got home. decided against sending it.1
-
I asked a question on StackOverflow. Everyone ignored me so I did find other way to do what I intended (it was still not an answer). So at least I fucking hoped to get another fucking tumbleweed badge!!!
So today a fuckhead, seventh viewer of my question answered it in a way that insulted my intelligence. So I got no answer and no fucking badge!!! FUCK.4 -
If someone asks me how to hack software, I answer:
'Well, basically it's just like searching for open doors of a unknown house you want to get in.' 😎
Usually the answer disappoints everyone. Then I add:
'Why so surprised? Would you leave your main door open, if you want to store something securely in your house?'
I love those disappointed faces from time to time. 😋1 -
Basically a senior dev that felt attacked because I (still in (IT-) school) could solve his 'oh so hard' programming test 'with ease'. He then went on and wanted to hear one specific answer from me on a very broad question. I (obviously) couldn't read his mind, so he started using that to make me look bad in front of the recruiter.
What a nice working environment...5 -
Me reading a forum after long hours of debugging and research...
YES THIS IS IT THIS IS MY FUCKING ISSUE!
* Me reading some answers I have tried already *
COME ON GIVE ME THE ANSWER
* Me reading the last answer *
"I was able to resolve the issue thanks for all the answers...
bye"
OP marked problem as solved
FOR FUCKS SAKE GIVE ME THE SOLUTION OF FUCK OFF6 -
My previous manager: "Your code should hard to read, so our work is cant stolen by everyone".
Me: "Why?"
My previous manager: "Just do it"
Me: "Okay"
So, anyone can answer my 'Why?' question?
P.S: My previous Manager is PHP Programmer14 -
A poor horndog developer started bothering me with useless appreciations like «Oh, a female developer, such a rarity...»
After some chatting he asked me: «How tall are you?»
My answer was: «2FuF8A, find the correct decoding by yourself».
It is "1,67" encoded in Base58 (because Base64 is too mainstream).
He never came back with the solution.9 -
I loved her from the beginning.
I devoted so much of my time to her. She told me her heart doesn't point to anyone. Yet I tried to reach her.
Everytime I ask her what's wrong, she gives me the same answer. I tried to be different. I changed things. Yet she said the same thing again today: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)"4 -
Me doing front-end work and get a stupid feature request from a customer...."I'll have to talk to our back-end developer and DBA to see if those changes are possible".
Guess what...Im the back-end developer and DBA and the answer is "hell no".2 -
Lol these dumbasses actually think I'm smart. They have no idea that I just always have the same problem the day before them and I found an answer just before they ask me.4
-
me: *finds the thread on issue i encountered*
thread created 2014: no answer
someone replied 2015: "got the same issue any thoughts?" and no ome answered
me: it's fckn 2016 already!! -
Me: API support, please check why I'm getting ECONNTIMEDOUT for 3% of requests
supp: before we look into this, please answer these questions: a), b), c), d), e)
Me and coleague: *spend 20 minutes gathering all the details into a nice answer. Post the answers*
Slack bot: *removes the answer [allegedly for compliance/security]*
api supp: any update?
..... I really want to smash smth. Hulk SMASH!!!3 -
fuuuccckkk stackoverflow.
q: "why doesn't python do this like i want:
me: "Here's an answer that quotes an article and links out explaining with Python 3.6.x doesn't allow that."
every fucker: "downvote, doesn't answer why it isn't allowed"
FUCK YOU, PROVIDE AN ANSWER THAT DOESN'T SAY WHAT I SAID5 -
So couple of days ago I've told you that I've made an Duck Hunt Easter Egg in one of my utilities. And @jiraTicket asked me:
"How on earth do you get a decent gameplay out of Duck Hunt without a Nintendo lightning gun?"
Well the answer is..:
Connecting Leap Motion and making them suffer..
P.s. It took me a loooong time to hit that duck with this controller=))))
-
As the first and only dev in our family[including relatives], I find it really hard to answer them whenever they ask me about what it is that I actually do at work.5
-
potential client, wondering why i don't answer any of his messages or calls: "I hope I haven't done anything wrong!?"
yeah dude, continually calling me MULTIPLE times after 5PM on friday (second friday in a row) is one way to "do something wrong"
these "business" types know no bounds
2 -
You know what irks me is whenever people ask me how to do something without Googling it first.
Like ffs whenever I Google the same issue because I don't know the answer either, it's literally the first fucking result. Like damn bruh.
I don't mind helping people at all, but please at least try to be an adult and Google the fucking question first.13 -
Guy sitting next to me sees me coding, gets excited, and asks "OH, THAT'S COOL... what do you do?"
In my head I'm thinking: I... CODE.... ur watching me code.... I do exactly what you see me doing!
Not knowing how to answer, I just end up staring at him for 10 seconds.3 -
I saw a SO question where the dev commented on his own question "I might have an idea, don't answer me" and never posted anything else. This dumbass deserves a special place in hell7
-
> Scammer calls me.
> I answer and robot puts me in queue.
> PlEaSe WaIt, yOuR CaLl Is vERy iMpOrtAnt To uS!
> 6 minutes later it literally says “Goodbye!” And Hangs up.
> ???5 -
Got an Acer 18.5" monitor.
Took me more than an hour to get correct resolution on my lubuntu.
And still looking for answer and fixing.
I know I will eventually fix it soon (hopefully).
But this kind of things shouldn't exist in this days and age :/17 -
So I'm sitting down coding at home, trying to work out some problems when I hear the Doorbell ring. Obviously I shouldn't ignore it so I go to answer it.
Its the fucking FedEx delivery guy, he ALWAYS rings the doorbell, waits a solid 2 seconds after ringing then leaves. By the time I am about to answer the door he is already walking away.
HE ALWAYS FUCKING DOES THIS, in the end I'm thrown off my rhythm for nothing to go answer a door where the person ringing doesn't even have the decency to wait a few extra seconds to see if anyone comes.
This has happened to me several times now, he rings the door for no damn reason, i come running over and he is already gone.
So bloody frustrating.10 -
hey helo i doNT GIVE A SHIT THAT YOU CANT READ MY DOCUMENTATION AND SPAM ME WITH QUESTIONS THAT HAVE THE ANSWER WRITTEN IN THE SPECIFICATION YOU WROTE IM PLAYING FUCKING LEAGUE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT
-
Being the wanting to learn a lot student I asked a ton of questions, my first programmer lecture would instead of answer my basic answers said she'd get back to me tomorrow, never did.
She also in the tutorials would when would ask if I was doing alright with the exercise would at "hang on let me get the answer sheet".
I never saw her for semester two.1 -
Look, if I send you an email, don't just immediately ping me via IM to answer. I sent you an email because (a) I was too busy to chat in the first place, and (b) it wasn't a super-critical question requiring an immediate interaction. I was, in fact, trying to do YOU a favor by using a medium that almost by design doesn't dictate an instant reply. You basically defeated the entire purpose of me CHOOSING to send an email in the first place.
Yeah, I know, I should just be happy that you are a helpful person who respects me and so wanted to get to me ASAP rather than one of the dinguses that never answer anything... but I'm a dick too, so I'm not.
Honor the "Importance Code of the Communication Mechanisms", damn it!7 -
Last week I forgot to add the break; clause to a bunch of case statements and literally spent a whole evening busting my head 'cause my code wasn't working.
So this week's answer: ME. I'M THE WORST.2 -
internal recruiter reaches out to me
have a good screening
reach the salary question
ask them for the range they have allocated for this role
they refuse to answer
give them a range i took off their glass door page
they're unhappy/in disbelief and then proceed to ghost my ass
welp -
I don't know if I should be sad or be happy...
It's a few days left until I get back to college from my IT internship. The team was awesome. Literally awesome. The chief wanted to hire me as a developer. He asked me if I would accept his apprenticeship offer. I got stuck and couldn't answer :D
I would accept it, but I can't rn. Still want to study...10 -
A half answer on SO gives me a pointer to a possible solution. Using that pointer, I actually find an answer and it's quite involved. So to help others with the same question, I edit the answer to complete it with the additional steps. No edits to the answer involved, just a few additional steps.
😡 The answer author comments that they appreciate the info, but they reject my edit so their answer isn't changed!
What a douchebag.2 -
I post riddles and puzzles outside my office door to keep people distracted before bothering me. they must answer all right before disturbing me.2
-
me: *goes to stack overflow to get some points*
*searches for questions I only know*
*scrolls down to find unanswered questions*
*keeps scrolling*
*finds a question I can answer*
*types in my answer*
*finds out that someone has answered
the question with better explanation*
*decides not to submit my answer*
*looks for other questions to answer*
*keeps scrolling*
*scrolls some more*
*scrolls for the last time*
*realizes I'm Jon Snow*
*exits stack overflow*3 -
In the future, when someone asks me what I do for a living, I'll answer
-"I'm a programmer" [1 sec pause] "I'm not a printer mechanic".3 -
FUCK YOU DIGITAL OCEAN!
I know, I fucked up because I lost my backup codes, but tell me, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU ANSWER AN EMAIL THAT IVE BEEN SENDING SINCE THREE WEEKS AGO?
You motherfuckers12 -
OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"2
-
I finally heard a retarded question on a job interview. I thought they were just jokes.. I was wrong!
What kind of a question is "how would your friends describe you?"..
They'd say I'm fucking awesome, did you expect a different answer?
Or when I gave them a referral, my previous boss, and they asked me what would he say about me.. well fuck me sideways, I have no idea.
And one of the last ones, "tell us your three top qualities that would make us hire you". What kind of information does such a question even give them? Are they testing me how well I can lie? Because I can't, and others that can lie will give a better answer, regardless of the reality.
And they were even taking notes after these questions.
Other than that, nice company. I really want to start working there soon.5 -
Uhm... am I the only one who thinks this is a vague as fuck answer and should've taken more than one sentence to properly inform users of their data protection methods? It can't be just me...
2 -
The question "are you busy" is the most loaded fucking BS question ever. If you answer and say you're busy you get told that you aren't that busy since you answeted the chat. If you don't answer the messenger blows up your shit asking many more times and possibly even fucking calls you.
If I don't answer, I'm busy go the fuck away. "But it was super important and I needed it fixed right away!" Ok, but when I answered your message just 4 minutes after your originally messaged me don't make me spend another 5 minutes asking for information you knew I was going to ask for and could have provided in one of your follow up messages (Client name, website, page with the problem, description of the problem). Also, don't tell me that it has to get fixed because I'm the one who made the mistake. It has to get fixed because it's wrong, it doesn't fucking matter who made the mistake.3 -
Manager asked me once
"how many lines of code does a good developer write"
:facepalm: i was so shocked i couldnt answer him straight with a good answer. tried telling him that we are not a factory making nails, i dont know. what would you have said to him?14 -
PM: you've gotta meet up with (DEV) for an answer. He's a genius.
Me: <looks at script> UUOC. Your hero's a dipshit. -
colleague : Hey I resolved yesterday's error.
me : really? how?
colleague : found it on stackoverflow.
me : Oh. From the question or the answer?
burrrrn!!! -
When bugs are seen by the client and boss therefore asks me "did you know about this bug?", what I'd really like to answer is:
"well shit, no! I would have solved that or at least told you about it, don't you think? what kind of fucking question is that?"
But then I just answer "no, lemme check"2 -
People who tell me they hate PHP, though when I ask said person whether he's used PHP all he can answer is "maybe once".
Don't hate on a language if you have barely even used it3 -
At Italian lesson: The professor asks me "What is a sentence?" I answer "it's a CharSequence". He looked me very badly
-
Oh f*ck you Google. You can't tell me you don't collect my data (which option I selected) but ask me to answer surveys to make my ads better. It can't be more obvious...5
-
Please, please, please stop cornering me at the water cooler and asking me about work. This is my break.. I can answer your question in five minutes when I’m back at my desk. Thanks.4
-
Back in the day, I worked side by side with a designer that actually wanted to build things together, instead of having me answer the dreadful "can we build this?" question and him singlehandedly knowing what's best for the product, the client, the user, figuring out the UI/UX etc.
-
Google is faster than my computer's calculator launching..
I'm still typing, he already gives me the answer.2 -
Hi, I'm a 17 years old web developer (still in school, not from the us), is there any way that a guy like me will be able to find a job to start gain experience? I searched all over the internet, in upwork no one answer me when I try to contact them and the other all wants 1 or 2 years of experience or a degree...15
-
Me: I should be doing this SOAP service thats is due thursday.
Mind: nah let's answer stackoverflow questions.7 -
:/ rant
Lately more and more clients had been asking me to build their sites in Wordpress, wish follows by me asking them why. Their most common answer: - "Everybody is using it, because is easier to use and secure."
Me: (Silence)...3 -
Let's play a game.
I'm almost 30. (Like +1 or -1 to 30)
Are you older than or younger than me? Just answer "older or younger" is fine.
I'll reply my impression of our age difference truthfully.
For example, I have an impression that dfox is older than me but trogus is younger. (I seriously don't know their bio, couldn't bother to check out 😬)79 -
Anyone else here that doesn't answer people that only write "hi" to initiate a conversation?
I always feel like they try to put me in charge of leading the convo. You wouldn't call someone and just say Hi, now would you?6 -
I asked my former boss for some clarification via mail. Given a table, I was supposed to edit some user info in the company system. Had some questions on a few entries only my boss could answer.
Boss would organize a meeting, also inviting a more experienced co-worker I worked with. When the meeting starts, I get to know that my boss will join in a few minutes..... few minutes later, boss cancels the meeting. So it's me and the co-worker, who cannot answer my questions.
A simple mail could've solved it... -
Every time a Indian dude mails me at work I always get the urge to just answer:
Sorry I dont have bobs and vagene3 -
I like to build, tinker, and create with code.
That doesn’t mean I like to fix your computer, diagnose your internet issues, teach you to use your desktop UI, or google the same question you asked me to show you google has the answer 😑2 -
Me coding and researching to fix new things everyday and people come to me saying:
"You are working too much"
And I'm thinking: actually, its a never ending learning job, I dedicate so much because almost everyday I learn at least one thing.
But knowing that non-tech people have a hard time around it I just answer: yeah.3 -
Fucking StackOverflow!
I'm pretty sure the downvote button serves as a reminder that my question is indeed legitimate and deserves some feedback because for FUCKSAKES WHY WOULD I ASK SOMETHING IF I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER???
JUST HELP ME BITCHES!!!2 -
During my university days, we had a basic programming quiz. One of the questions is to "write a program that will determine if a number is even or not".
An annoying seatmate asked me silently if his answer is correct. Then I saw his window:
=========================
> Enter an even number: 10
> The number is even.
=========================
I told him it's correct.
After the test his answer is marked as wrong.
"You told me it's correct!", he said to me.
I approached the professor, and told him that his answer is correct.
"What if I enter 3?", professor said.
I told him, "User Error". -
"what do you wanna learn at our company?"
May seem like a trivial question, but hit me hard and I was struggeling for an answer.
(Was an Interview for a student position and I just thought "i will do the stuff you asked for"...)1 -
"This question is unlikely to help any future visitors"
For all the people that answer anyway or answer before this happens, thank you.
To the assholes who do this at SO: I can't tell you how many specific problems I've had where a question that did help me had this.
You all suck. Go fuck yourself off a cliff. The entire site is built on the backs of people who get shat on by a small elitist community that likely couldn't code themselves out of a box.
Again, to those who still answer... thank you. To those who still ask questions in spite of the abuse... thank you.2 -
I have a problem calling ressources.
I have a list of 4 ppl that can help me.
3 of them have no idea and the fourth is too busy to answer me.
fuck -
[at the end of a coding interview]
Me: Do you have any questions for me or the company that I can help to answer?
Candidate: Normally I have many questions to the future teammates, but you're not from the team I'm interviewing for so no I have no questions.
🤯11 -
I always feel like a fool when I accidentally rubber duck someone - at least when I do it on purpose I've warned them first! What often happens though is I ask a question I think I need the answer to and then make the connection while they're trying to help me5
-
dear fucking client, why are you giving me only the "???" as an answer to my well written documentation and explanation about the latest bugfixing.
WHY? What could I possibly get out of this shitty answer? #fml4 -
Rant
Arg! Stack overflow why are you so full of argumentative dumb wits. I post serious question for a serious answer and what do I get? People who apparently know my situation better than me and have decided what I want to be done shouldn't be done. They don't even know what I am making. Either answer the question or move on!!!5 -
looks up JavaScript question, gets jQuery answer
Are you kidding me? Does anyone even do plain JS anymore?? D:1 -
Once I sent an email to a coleague asking what is the diff between @Resource and @Autowired annotations.
A simple google qry would have handed me the answer right away..1 -
They ask me if I have girlfriend(s), I speechless for maybe 5-10 second, then they told me the answer is define my sallary..
Is that normal / common question.?13 -
Im new on GitHub, and google didnt give me an answer simple enough for me to understand, so here i go.
How do i commit to GitHub and keep my files up to date, but without committing my password/oauth tokens?
Does one remove the line before committing, or what are you supposed to do?
Im using IntelliJ, dark theme11 -
What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”
It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.
You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?7 -
If you asked me two months ago I'd have said building and using a Barnes Hut tree with CUDA.
Today my answer is working on a fuzzer with LLVM without knowing shit about either C++ and compilers. -
[tl;dr at the bottom]
(Project Team Group Chat)
dev: @Desing team, i have a question, there's a required field missing in you design, can i go to your desktop to get an quick answer/explanation about that?
design team:....
dev: hello..?
PM: [writes a huge text to tell me that i can not interrupt them even if its a blocker and that we (dev team) shoul write them down and tell them only once a day in the scrum meeting]
dev: uuumm ok
-next day-
dev: so about that field, why did you...
Client: WHAT? There's a problem with the design!? oh boy, lets re-check every view right now with the whole team!
(it took like 2 hours, the field was missing just because they forgot that feature)
PM: okay, @DesingTeam, answer any questions from developers when they ask you...
tl;dr
we spent almost two hours with the client just because desing team didn't want to answer me a little question -
Interviewer asked me to design the Energizer Bunny. I looked at him like he had 2 heads. Apparently that was the right answer.2
-
WHAT THE FUCK
MY MAC CRASHED TWICE WHILE I WAS SEARCHING FOR AN ANSWER ON STACK OVERFLOW
I HATE WHEN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOME BULLSHIT CROSS BROWSER ISSUE AND I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANY WORSE
WELL SAFARI FUCKING PROVED ME WRONG (AGAIN)
GOD I CAN KILL SOMEONE RIGHT NOW6 -
Recruiter wrote me to see if i was interested in a java frontend dev role - my answer:
Just as a fyi - java and javascript is like car and carpet - not the same thing :)2 -
Stackoverflow is full of pedantic cunts who can’t admit they don’t know how to answer your question, I just spent 20 minutes having 4 people tell me because they didn’t have “the full code” they couldn’t help with the problem, despite by the end of me posting more and more (completely unrelated) code they were LITERALLY complaining because I hadn’t added fucking “#include” statements 😑7
-
I know we do asynchronous communication where I work, but boy does my blood SUBLIMATE when people take half a fucking day or MORE to answer a question without the answer to which I cannot progress at my work
And they're like "sorry, I was out for a little while"
If only the fucking tasks were actually refined and discussed on planning, if only people wouldn't shut me down for "trying to discuss technical details" during it, maybe this wouldn't fucking happen and I wouldn't be feeling so fucking stressed out with work pending for the weekend
Jesus fucking Christ, I need to change jobs, this company pays me peanuts anyway4 -
Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!
-
My boyfriend: "how do you do <some random stuff> on Windows"? After I tried to answer: "Why I ask you about Windows"? Me: "Yeah! Why people still asks me about Windows"? Why?3
-
Sent SO accepted answer to another dev as backup to my argument.
Dev - Did Jon Skeet answer it?
Me - No.
Dev - I don't want to hear it. -
When someone (and this is typically someone non-dev and not a very structured person) says "Can I ask you a question" and, upon an affirmative answer to that, fires away a whole bunch of questions without waiting for an answer to the first of the questions.
Pleeeease! If you expect an answer, ask me one. question. at. a. time. Or write a freaking e-mail.3 -
Hired me on Upwork, now the deadline is coming near and he is too busy to answer any of my attempts to get response...1
-
I'm still on my answer one question a day mission.
With this time, to fight back with "this doesn't work", I almost create codesandbox for every answer. (Assume there's enough info)
But, my gut tells me I probably gonna loss reputation again.
7 -
today
me: How should we proceed with the tests?
customer: Yes
(it was a longer technical how question but the answer was the same)2 -
Tell me honestly, Do your feel gender discrimination vibe at your workplace? I've been seeing so much tweets about female developer being insulted/made fun of/ whatever you call discrimination.
For me it's really good to see them writing codes. One of the girl I was friend with on Facebook was really good at solving problems. She gave me some of best ideas. I need an honest answer guys ?24 -
when a brand (literally any social media) doesnt provide a clear answer to "what are your brands colors?"
then they can go fuck themselfs if they come to me "you are violating the terms of the use of our brand" and i will go trough the effort to mail them a stool sample -
Meetings.
You want to ask me if a button could change behavior?
Instead of asking me directly and have an answer in 5', let's have a meeting with 5 other persons who don't give a shit!
Let's have coffee! Hey, why not hold a meeting to choose where? Please take me outta here...
That's how you justify your job here: by polluting other people. -
So, here at this place ... last person to touch a project is the sole person responsible for it being a success or failure. Wtf?!?!?!
If a client sends me the wrong picture, and agrees that is the correct one, and then it goes to production. Later on to find that it was never correct to begin with ... guess who's fault that is?
Is everybody taking crazy pills?
Don't answer that, I already know the answer.4 -
Student: Hey will you be a reference for me?
Me: Of course!
HR: Hello, Student says you are a reference for them. Please fill out this form.
Form: 20 long answer questions.
Sometimes I regret my decisions. I am a perfectionist, so this form will take me an hour to fill out haha. This is definitely a reason why I don't say yes to every student who asks for a reference, and only those who actually make me remember them.2 -
Do you think free VPN providers are reliable and not tracking our personal data?
If your answer is Yes then please let me know name of that VPN provider.11 -
We needed to generate secret tokens for the app, me being as curious as I am, asked what encryption algorithm they were using, little did I know the the answer would be a random string generator.
Every day further from god.9 -
Hi guys, anyone knows about Google App Engine custom runtimes and CloudSQL?
Please answer my question on StackOverflow.
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
Looks like no one there cares about helping me...8 -
When you are blocked by a trivial issue - eg., what's setting this value in the db - that someone can answer in 5 seconds in person, you can figure out on your own in 30 minutes, or you can ask via slack and get an answer after a minute or a day.
During the pandemic I had to take over a project for a guy that was retiring, and my chat log with him is basically me talking to myself, going "nm found it" up to a day after my last message. -
I need a compelling case for why we should not support IE11. Apparently 10% of our user base uses it and "it fucking sucks and breaks all the new shit you want me to do" is not an answer. And a possible HR violation.20
-
Bad interview experience:
Went to HR interview: boring company's history class first. Asked what projects do they need me for. He didn't knew but he was able to underline some letters on my cv, based on what I was choosed to come: wpf.
After one week I went to technical interview. Still no answer about what/where should I work within their company. Apparently this developer's job was just to evaluate me. So I had few questions to answer. While I've talked about stuff, he was chatting on keyboard and smiling.
I'm sorry I didn't left at that moment and stayed until the end. After that nobody contacted me again with any refusal. -
Definitely project life on this planet.
Being optimist helps a lot but I still have no clear answer who send me here.2 -
Once I had an interview where in the last part the cto of the bank asked me a question about the history of my country instead of a appropriate programming one. Of course I couldn't answer and got nervous but I still want to punch that motherfucker in the face.
-
If someone ask about why i put/create this kind of code. The only answer is "The Aliens told me to do so"
-
A recruiter set me up with an interview for a company I really liked and I thought it went pretty well. But I tried following up with him and he refuses to answer my 3 emails or pick up my calls. It's fine if I didn't get the job but this is the first time a recruiter just completely ignores me without giving me any feedback. Has this even happened to anyone and how do I deal with this?5
-
#non-IT
I proposed to my best friend like last month. Until now she gives no answer.
I love her so much that it sickens me now. Silences are killing me.13 -
What could possibly be wrong with me if I had to look at almost every single answer of the Basic Algorithm Scripting exercises on FreeCodeCamp? I spend days tying to solve some of them and just couldn’t. Had to look at the answers. Then I try few days after and maybe remember half of the answer. How can I change this?3
-
Yesterday I had a questionable pleasure of interviewing a young software engineer who (while answering one of earlier questions) used a principle of polymorphism but made a mistake. So I asked her to explain what polymorphism is.
She couldn't. When she said "let me start from the beginning" for the 3rd time I jestfully noted that if she's more used to virtual communication she can text me the answer, and she not only thought I was being serious but also thought it's a good idea, then texted me a duck emoji, a dog emoji... And got stuck again.
Obviously when we were discussing potential salary she had an answer for every question. Ridiculous answer but no communication issues whatsoever.19 -
I wasted nearly 3 hours total of my working hours (I'm a contractor, every hour I don't work, I don't get paid) just to conclude interviews with a jackass who gets bent up over how I won't answer invasive questions about previous work on [big international project] at [big international software company]. For fuck sake, good talent signs NDAs, if you expect me to tell you confidential details, then you can fuck off!!! Asking me 5 times over and over isn't going to get you a different answer after I told you details are confidential.
So here I am doing a follow-up with this new agency and telling them it went well other than the jackass manager who asked invasive questions, tells me he only got 2hrs sleep, and doesn't let me finish my questions. What a fucking waste of my time. And here I am thinking it went alright and I could work there as long as the rate is hourly and I report to someone who takes care of themselves — nope, apparently this guy is the point of contact between the agencies. Good luck finding talent that wants to work for you, you jackass!
Oh, and the best part, he claimed he worked for that same company — so either he knows the NDA or he's a fucking liar.
AND the other guy in the room asked for a generic flow (so I could answer, as the question no longer requires me to disclose confidential information) — I have a solid answer, the other guy was happy. But no, doesn't satisfy the jackasses invasive question.
Fuck!!!!! -
When someone asks me how implement React, Redux and a lot of those stuff on their projects I answer:
If you don't have any idea what it is you might not need them.1 -
someone offered me a job a few days ago, and he said that for that job I'll have to learn something and send him a small project just so he'll know I've learned it... so I did, and now he doesn't answer to me... I want to fucking sue him for wasting me so much time1
-
Asked my UX guy a question, and he gives me a 45min rant on how I used the word "spec" incorrectly
Then proceeds to answer my question in one sentence
Oh how I love working with those visual people...6 -
Treehouse shows me in my weekly "questions to answer" newsletter my unanswered 2 weeks old question. 😞☹️😫1
-
If you suspect that you know me "in real
life" {
please raise your hand &&
don't share the answer with the rest -
of the class (🤫);
} else {
enjoy the suspense 🌻💅🔪;
}
Tara3 -
Dear PM, if you ask me something let me fucking finish my answer!
I know there's some audio lag (remote meetings) but shit, you always do this!3 -
When integrating our system with a 3rd party company to use their billing system, we had a Hangouts chat so we could ask things about their documentation, API, etc...
Me: *explain the problem and how I tried to solve it without success, and proceed to ask 3 things*
*2h of silence*
3rd.p: Good Morning
Me: Good Morning
*another 2h of silence*
Me: ...and?
*1h of silence*
3rd.p: *answer randomly one of the questions*
Me: ok, and the other two questions?
*silence until the next day*
Me: ???
3rd.p: *answer one question and says that the other will never happen*
Me: but... I've just sent a request to your backend and it happened!!!
*2h of silence*
3rd.p: No, you are reading this wrong, we didn't respond that
Me: This is the endpoint i'm calling and the request's payload, send this to your backend.
*silence until the next day*
(and this continues to almost 2 months to complete the integration that should not need more than 1 week)3 -
Customer QA team insists that they are the gate keepers for Test environment,
"Have to discuss this SQL change Test Manager" - me
.....
doesn't answer mails and refuses to answer phone,
Guess what fuck head,
Im gona thrash the shit out of this Database1 -
Ok..now its up to you guys. I couldnt find any answer on google that could help me..
SSH : is that only like a dos or batch command line (simply script language) , to go with?
I see often the "$" sign , for what does it stand for?14 -
Anyone with good/certain experience in using UIkit?
I have started using it for one of my client's projects. There is no one I know of using it. So it will be awesome, if anyone can spare few minutes and discuss with me. (or answer my stupid questions :P)1 -
When I search desperately for a missing package that prevents me to compile some Python package on an old Freebsd system and turned out the answer in SO was my own answer.
-
Client: drops a few devs in the standup
Everyone: wtf who are these people what what are they going to do?
Client: could you (me) help them get up and running and answer any questions they have.
New dev: where is the host file located?
Me (in my head): wait what you dont know? Wtf you have 'senior' dev in your fucking email signature. Go and fucking google
Me: c:/system32/drivers/etc/hosts.
Fuck my life right now.1 -
In interviews, I tend to forget the basics while I can answer more advanced questions. For example, I can't for the life of me remember the four principles of OOP but I can talk about garbage collection in my main programming language.1
-
Me: Searching for a problem I have been trying to solve for 6 hours
StackOverflow: [Another user with the same exact problem]
Me [Relieved and Excited]: [Scrolled down to see the answer]
[Empty] :-(
[Scroll up to read comments]
@stackuser1 - Hey did you try doing [blah... blah.. blah..]
@OP - Hey never mind fixed it2 -
I was interviewed for a job at a very big company and everythin went fairly well untill they brought 3 sheets of paper with .net specific theory and gave me 30 minutes to answer them... What the actual fk
-
ok. worst interview.
i was refused for a dev position because i couldnt answer a non techincal question they had for me.
i mentioned in my resume that i previously worked on sms ( when it was still a thing ). the interviewer asked me how sms can help their company. i couldnt get around to a specific answer. i mean, come on! isnt it your job to think about the application in your own company?5 -
How can the heck stackoverflow tell me I didn't search for an answer enough myself when their own search algorithm sucks?!3
-
How we devs hate getting humiliated on stack overflow when we don't get the answer and someone make us feel stupid for even posting the question.
How we also secretly wish for that validation and feel proud when there are more likes on our questions.
No? Just me? Ok cool 👍5 -
me windows user is bored, start installing linux as dual boot. ok lets code in linux. proceed to install vscode. starts coding... ok lets save. permission denied. permission denied. ok lets use these sudo fuckery. says its not recomended #warnings. start googling. got answer in alien language. fuck me, back to windows then.5
-
Can anyone give me an exercise to train programming or critical analysis?
I am really not motivated and trying to give some motivation back when I want to answer some problems.
I'm a bit getting rusty on my head due to Anime and stuff.1 -
PSA: surpise-sending play-by-play instructions via chat on how to answer questions in a phone interview happening IN REAL TIME is not helpful and makes me look like a blubbering idiot
thanks but no thanks -
I'd answer the question, but whenever I sit and I'm completely in the zone, there always someone who'll fucking tap me on the shoulder.
Despite the hoodie, earphones and the obvious fact that if I go any closer to the screen, I'd be stuck to it.5 -
Walmart API.
Bigger image: https://i.imgur.com/LiVAG0T.png
P.S. In case you are wondering, the answer is NO. I am not creating a bot to purchase PS5. I am creating a bot to check if it's in stock and notify me in Telegram.
5 -
Let's suppose you have your own company and you want to hire developers
Would hire a junior or a senior ? As a first step
If your answer is senior
Please tell me when it's the best time to hire a junior ?8 -
I’m so over software engineers asking me questions when they’re more than capable of figuring things out themselves. Why do you rely on me so much for answers. Half the time I don’t even know the answer and what you’re really asking is for me to go and do the hard yakka to figure it out! Fuuuuuuuuckkkk6
-
Me: If I am going to refactor this code I should use test driven design
*Reads SO answer about TDD*
SO: you know ahead of time what each part of the program must achieve
Me: Well that was a pleasant thought.
*hides under my desk in depression* -
There are lots of people paid real money to get their stack overflow account boosted.🤖 Answer me if I'm wrong.🐅11
-
A colleague of mine:
God damn, my application is racist.
Me: why?
Answer: It doesn't see enough white. -
Have you ever been so frustrated with a problem that you almost posted a question to Stackoverflow.com just to find your answer minutes later?
Which reminds me, I need to comment on that thread where I found my answer. It wasn't entirely correct...4 -
I got an interview for a job a NATO, it's an interview with an app called hirevue they send me question and I have 5 minute to answer. Do you have any advice/tips ?24
-
Project Manager: "You have until x date, but how far off are you from finishing"
Me: "How long is it until x date, there is your answer"
-
If one day someone asks me to choose between the death of a family's member or going back to develop in a Drupal environment, I honestly wouldn't be able to answer.
-
Let me just warn people that if you quit your job but they offer you to come back with a significant salary increase it's probably not the right answer.5
-
I went for job interview and they gave me a paper with questions about coding and I have to write the answers in the same paper. Why did they didn't give me a laptop to write the answer?3
-
showing project in school event:
me: [...] and we have this public survey, if you may, please answer it to help us get better
survey: "any scientist or historical public figure you want to see in the game?"
6 people answers "me" thinking we'd know who it is. there would be 7 if I haven't stopped she from doing it and explained to her... -
What does it take for one to design his/her own laptop completely from scratch?
*If you answer me it's not worth my time, then please don't waste your time answering.*18 -
*me writing my sweet code like nothing bad could happend*
Xcode: bum! Compiling error
Me: what the...
*compile again
Xcode: yeah right. Bam! Error
*clean, etc. compile again
Xcode: yeah, try your luck looser
Me: ok, let's google it. First stack overflow answer: just change the simulator and should work correctly.
And of course it worked. And that's how it works all day.
Fuck you Xcode! Fuck you Apple!
-
Me: Could you please answer these questions? [paste link of the story I am working on]
My PM: I will give you feedback today.
Me: Thx.
Wake up. See no answers. ....
and the PM is on vacation for 2 weeks.
Sigh.1 -
question1: Are you a programmer?
answer: yes
question2: Can you repair my computer or format it?
answer: ...
what would you answer then pls help me?9 -
How much of a red flag is it if a programmer gets concepts like interfaces and classes, but when asked what an interface is, can't give me a straight answer?8
-
Have this problem which already took me well over a day to figure out.
Thinking: "I might try SO, maybe I'll get an answer there.".
*Posts question with nice explanation and code example.*
Literally 5 mins later: question is marked as duplicate of a super generic question, which does not answer mine.1 -
Me: *ask well detailed questions around Ruby on Rails and responses in JSON that won't fucking work because I don't know how to make it work my way*
Someone : *Answers*
Me: *tests the solution. Nothing works, his ruby syntax is from 1995, and it doesn't help me
Me: "Sorry but there's a syntax error in your answer, I don't know how to make your answer work. Plus, how should I edit my json.jbuilder file with your answer?
Dude: " I am not a RoR developer by trade, I just know how HTTP works :)"
WE ARE BOTH FUCKING LOOSING TIME HERE YOU FUCKING MORON
Same dude: " I don't see any of that in your code and I'm not sure what you want to edit? Seems to me like you don't really need to, but I'm not sure"
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING ROR DEVELOPER, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, SO WHY DO YOU KEEP BOTHERING?
(n.b. : I litteraly pasted his two last answer. Didn't edit anything) -
>Le me taking a test on basic C
>Question arises to an exercise
>Le ask the prof
>He gives an Answer like the exercise was asked completely differently.
>I give up and do as said on the test although confused af!1 -
Well its been 1 year and im still stuck at hackthebox.eu
I really dont know where to go and those website that gives an answer to becoming a member wont help me learn.12 -
One time I got a Skype interview and the interviewer asked me to complete all the coding questions (rewrite in actual code) and email the answers to them within 10mins.
But when I open the question sheet, I found that all questions contain pseudo answer, so I ended up rewriting them on specific coding language, which was easy.
After I finished all the questions and sent the answer back to the interviewer and she told me this test wasn't testing my skill level on that specific coding language but honesty.1 -
I don't mind helping people when they come across an issue as chances are I already know the answer, but it's got to the point at the company I work for where some devs automatically come to me for help without even trying to debug or find the answer themselves. Even when an error is written out in black and white - "this protected function must be public"... Anyone can code, but what makes programmer good is the ability to debug.1
-
Manager: This spec is due by cob, please answer ASAP. What bitrates do we support for png?
Me: 0. We support a bitrate of 0. -
Went for the iv as senior java developer, they ask me to answer 3 pages of coding question, i need to read the code and state my answer. What's worse is, their coding without main method, and asking do this coding can be execute without error or not? What is the answer for this question.
I read all the questions and all written question without main method 🤣🤣.
Not sure are they really stupid or just testing me tho. But I still state my answer, "executing with error message.."
Later than, the manager did not show up to interview me and others 3 candidate.
Thats really funny. They ask us to leave and for their feedback.
After few month, meet my ex-colleague where he just resign from the that company. Surprisingly I told him about the test, than he inform the company to update the test 🤣🤣🤣.
Lucky me, if i choose to work there its gonna be a lot of hell.
fyi, my friend work as SCM, Software Configuration Manager which he always make a joke about his position as The Manager 🤣. I fucking believe it for month when we first work with same company. Just realized when he need to configure my machine to config as company rule. Dammit dude -
I really don't want to dual boot windows and ubuntu, trust me,
but when I'm getting frame drops in chromium, while having a gtx1070ti, it's kinda hard to be a linux/ubuntu advocate and windows hater when every stackoverflow answer tells you to reinstall drivers
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻10 -
Does chat gpt recognize german and use german to respond me or does german just trigger it's nodes in a way the answer must be german?
What if you mix 3 languages in your message?7 -
When someone calls me VincentNwonah and expects me to answer. but I'm a programmer and VincentNwonah is a different object from NwonahVincent. ;p
-
I can't categorically or systematically answer your question now because my IDe is starring right at me.
-
Some wait for their codebto compile, others wait for their simulation to run... and then there's me... who just waits for an answer on his forum question....
-
I'm ranting about those damned HR that after many interviews (last one made me do 4) they disapper like they are a f**king Houdini and you'll never what did not work and if you try to reach them you'll never get an answer.1
-
Having a discussion with my manager about how interesting I find the job and what I want to focus on and me trying to answer truthfully without just saying I want a different job...4
-
Since I can't work without internet on my laptop, I started thinking of a comparison I could give, to clarify that me being a programmer, doesn't mean I can fix anything that uses electricity.
My answer so far:
"Asking me to fix that, is like trying to ask an accountant to go be a lawyer for some criminal."1 -
Another twisty story that came to mind is the fact that 2 years ago i was an intern. Interning at the company Im working now and I just signed a contract for undecided (full)time as a medior dev (yes i only have 2 years of experience but i guess they like me 🙃)
Right now I am the one person (almost) everyone in the company turns to and somehow I almost always know the answer.
Most amazing thing is I never try a d tell the answer straight up, but make them figure the solution out on their own so they dont ask me the next time 😇 -
Okay people I need help. I've researched a ton, but I can't really find a good answer. I'm trying to choose between Linux mint and Ubuntu. Now I know that there aren't any huge differences, but can you please help me, find out what would make you choose one over the other?8
-
I've been to a meeting where I asked a question and the reply I got was not remotely related to the question.
He asked me ' Does my answer makes sense?'
I said yeah.
Inner me: I am so tired and I can't repeat the question once again. Aren't you even listening?.1 -
So I was on github today and this teenager came up to me and asked what I was doing but I was too chill to answer at that time.
My screen read "Forking in progress" and now he's been saying it over and over again and thinks it's funny.
*smh*1 -
First It has to be challenged task. It must have something that challenge me Second Short Answer "BUG".. hehe I cant sleep until I catch it and resolve it
-
Is it just me or should the tier 3 network engineer from your MSP be able to answer whether the APs have high gain omnidirectional antennas or low gain omnidirectional antennas?
-
Who could explain what a container is? Like a Docker container, but not necessarily Docker. Google doesn't provide simple yet meaningful answer (or there is something wrong with me today). Any ideas?8
-
anyone else having Adventofcode problems? day1 told me the obviously right answer was wrong. after a full day of debugging two obvious lines of code, it finally decided to accept the first answer.
and day two seems to be doing the same. guess I'll just be a day behind then?
anyone else?3 -
Job interviews finished! I just kept one at Rouen (embedded systems) , and now I'm waiting the answer for Nice (Cry Engine).
Gosh I want to live in Nice and be a game developer, that looks really fun. I mean I enjoyed the test x)
Let me hope a bit guys :p -
Curious, what is that feeling when you can spend 10 hours trying to understand something by going through code or any other resources. But instead you think that you can rely another senior developer to answer that. Sounds evil to me, but what does it keep happening to me.2
-
This is a PJ :
Teacher: What is 2 + 2?
Me: 22
Teacher: no.it's four
Me: dumbass
Teacher: What does it means??
Me: The pretty and well-mannered answer you give someone if they correct you.
Teacher: Oh! you are a good boy.2 -
When I am involved in a conversation where people dig deep into a language and then turn to me for opinion and I don't know what to answer
-
where are you people not ? answer me that. I think after this long, i'm entitled to know that. where are more of us, the ordinary ones, the truthful ones, the individuals who founded and continued society while the monsters were trying and failing at playing god ?7
-
Can someone answer me a question about Wireguard?
I couldn't find an answer to it online.
I know WG supports roaming, so switching a connection to a different route.
But how does WG handle multiple valid routes, before a connection can be established?
Eg, when I'm at home I could have 3 valid routes.
Connecting over LAN.
Connecting over public IP of the router.
Connecting to a vserver, using it as a bridge to connect to my server, if it's behind a firewall.4 -
Every day I’ll open up wordle, but before I enter a guess I’ll google “What is today’s wordle answer?” Then I’ll just enter in the answer to get a 1/6 every time. After that I’ll post my score to twitter and when people accuse me of cheating because I get a 1/6 every day I just lie and say “no I’m really smart that’s how I knew what the word was.”
Is that cheating??9 -
Betting available to have to answer support calls at any moment that distracts me for the next 2 hours
-
> mfw a non-dev customer shows me an exception that is easy to reproduce to answer my sarcastic questions whether she got any problems with the application
> mfw no dev or PM ever thought of using the application like this1 -
I am going do do a series of .net or programming related rants. These are confessions regarding things that no one has been able to answer in way that makes sense to me.6
-
Can anyone tell me what the difference between a DevOps person and a SRE is? They both seem super similar to me, and I haven't been able to find a clear answer online.
-
Sent my resume to 70+ job positions and still waiting for their answer. Really, you had to sponsor my visa and use me in your team. Pleeeeease.
-
!rant
I believe that the answer to all my problems lies in the wubbs of chillstep.
It's the only thing that helps me debug. -
Hi everyone
I have a python script that continuously collects data for me. I want to be able to display that data on a node js server. How should I go about this? I was thinking of maybe having the python script send get requests to the server but I feel that is not the right answer. Let me know if u guys need more info, thanks!5 -
!rant, but satisfying.
Got pulled in to a demo for some work that I had been apart of previously, but not recently since I had rolled on to a client. The Manager in charge of the work had fought me being pulled on to said client, as he wanted me committed to this project (which I didn't want to be invovled with). I had rolled off the engagement earlier this week, which is why I suspect I was included in this demo. So we are going through the motions, they are asking questions, I'm sitting quietly watching. out of the blue, Manager dude decides he wants to ask me a difficult question, because I'm sure he assumes he will stump me. I respond with "Not sure I'm the best to answer that specific question, since I haven't worked on this in a minute". He confirms that he only wants me to answer. So I do. And boy was I glad his camera was on, because he went from "Got em" to "Fuck, he got me" in a matter of seconds, and I could barely keep from smiling. After my answer, I respond with "Anything else you'd like to know?" to which he mutters "No, thank you" and quickly moves on. Talk about a victory. I'll ride this high through next week, I think.
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View