Client asked to change the shade of blue to a little lighter shade. Deleted the hex code and typed the same hex code again and showed it to him. Instantly approved.

Client: About this QR code for my website, can we change it?
Me: Well we could redirect, but what's wrong with it?
Client: I just dont like the pattern, it's too noisy...
Me: 🙃

Me: We should change the http response code to anything but 200 OK in the error response case of our API.
Other dev: No, it's fine.
Me: Why?
Other dev: The client successfully receives an error message.
Me: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

The story of how humans evolved to an asshole.

Code-reviewer: please change 'if a==b' to 'if b==a' as it is easier to read so I can approve.

Code-owner: -_-

When your delivery manager is the stupidest fuckin manager ever born :/

"If you have android code ready then why can't you create iPhone build unh - since A=B, B=C so 'C' SHOULD EQUAL TO 'A' right - so use android code and create iPhone build TOMORROW - don't change the code just create a build in 2 hours and then work on xyz project for other 6 hours since its in HIGH priority"

WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK..
MY DICK = YOUR FACE MOTHERFUCKER :///

Change the code and see what broke. This is the only way to understand your code

Dev: boss, there are some abnormalities and confusion in the client's specifications.

Boss: So?

Dev: Shouldn't we get clear about them and then start coding?

Boss: No need. We assume and code. Then show them to our clients and then ask for their opinions. We will change again according to their opinion.

Dev: ..

A few months later....

Dev: *seeing so many specifications change and realizing now have to refactor a lot of codes* , FML.

when you're done with your code and user requirements change again.. :/

Found this code back in jQuery 1.9.1. Checked again, and t is still here in jQuery 3.1.0. Suppose it is just in case the values of true and false ever change 😃

After finishing up 70% of a feature,
Brain: "there's a better way to do it"
Me: "ok ill just change a bit of code here and there.."
-- 2 hours later --
swimming in spaghetti code..

This is my message to that particular developer of Microsoft who made a change in the Win32 API but was too lazy to update the MSDN doc:

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. You wasted 3 days of mine and I had to find your fucking change by looking into the source code.

You know what's fucking scary?
If you change a big block of code and it compiles, all tests are passed and you don't even get a warning.
Just wasted 20 Minutes because I tried to look for a mistake

I like to code with my laptop unplugged. Gives an extra bit of excitement knowing that my last change might not save.

Being a student this was how my colleagues felt about my code and SQL procedures. They didn’t even let me create a change ticket to present to CAB 😂

So yeah, the name change is done. Me making a joke out of being called a code slut clearly backfired and people just started calling me a slut or inferring I was a slut or something unsavory because of an online username. Lesson learned. A few lessons, in fact.

Anyway thanks for allowing the name change @dfox and @trogus. Now, back to ranting.

When you change one line of code

A single line of code made me change my field from software engineering to computability theory.

Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it

Code works.

Rename a variable for clarity.
Third-party lib behaves differently, breaks things.

Change the var names back.
Still broken.

Stash changes and checkout previous commit.
Everything works.

Diff with stash.
No notable changes. (some comments, ...)

Checkout branch again, pop stash.
Broken again.

... What?

Teamate: Hey I'll checkout you're branch to see what you've got done today.
Me: ...Ok.
Few hours later Teammate forgets to change branch and overwrites all my code in my branch causing merge hell and creating hours of more work.
Me:...what in the f***?!

I code in Chinese so it takes times for my employer to change things .... hahaha

What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.

I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??

When we fix two bugs with single line of code change.

> *makes literally one change in the code*
> welp! Calling that a day!
> *proceeds to play GTA Online*

"So you need access to the test server?"
Me:"Yes"
"Please fill these 800000000 forms,sign here,get your blood sample,your ID ,your right kidney,letter of approval from your boss,...."

Fuuuuuuuck!!!! I just want to change only 3 lines of code!!!!!!

How to never finish a project:

*Le me staring at my own code after a few weeks*
"Bleh! Icould do better. Lets change it all before things get worse."

And the cycle continues...

> make a change
> PR gets rejected
> IHATEFORALIVING! YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING! EVERYTHING BREAKS!
> 3 hours long debugging session
> We find out a whole bunch of bugs
> Suddenly, everything works
> None of the bugs had ANYTHING to do with my change. In the instances where the app broke, my code wasn't even being called at all.
> My change was literally the one and only working thing

I wish life was like in The Office, when you just stop what you're doing and you drop the Jim stare at some camera

I started learning php at age 15, copying code from tutorials, changing stuff until it worked. Now 10 years later I still copy code from tutorials and change stuff until it works...

Oh, we don't know why it broke. I know you just did A HUGE FUCKING DATABASE SEVER UPGRADE to the server we're connected to, but no one understands this code, so can't update it to work. Can you roll back 3 VERSIONS so our application that hasn't had a code change in 11 years is optimized?

When your code changes don't give different results and after an hour you realize that you're still editing the old version....

Hunted a bug for 8 hours, thinking it was a problem in my code....

Found out it was someone else's code generator that injected the bug...

Contacted the concerned dev... Had to convince him for another 3 hours that it was his change to the code that caused the issue. He is still sure that his change can't break the code...... What the fuck are you..? A fucking God programmer who never makes mistakes??

I mean how hard is it to just accept when I just proved it to you??

Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?

Me
Yeah sure why not.

Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.

Just finished......Realised had to rant....

Got the best compliment on an interview :3

Submitted a coding take home assignment. Was told by the tech lead that the code looked like they wrote it themselves! There was nothing they would change in terms of style or approach :3

In our morning stand up, dev was bragging about how much code he was refactoring (like over-the-top bragging) and how much the changes will improve readability (WTF does that mean?), performance, blah blah blah. Boss was very impressed, I wasn't. This morning I looked at the change history and yes, he spent nearly two solid days changing code. What code? A service that is over 10 years old, hasn't been used in over 5, mostly auto-generated code (various data contracts from third party systems). He "re-wrote" the auto-generated code, "fixed" various IDisposable implementations and other complete wastes of time. How –bleep-ing needy are people for praise and how –bleep-ing stupid are people for believing such bull-bleep? I think I should get a t-shirt made with a picture of a BS-Meter and when he starts talking, “Wait a sec, I gotta change my shirt. OK…you were saying?”

Calling in the big guns to debug my code... 30 minutes later... 'Oh look at that little typo, better change that'... Code runs

My code just broke during a presentation and I wasn't there to fix it. My CS professor got embarrassed in front of a bunch of future students.

I had made a last-minute change right before going on vacation... Never doing that again!

When the pm learns how F12 and use Google console to change HTML style, for example the color of the font.

He proclaims produly to everyone, I can code like you guys now.

"I would like to change the world, but they won't give me the source code!" - source unknown

Two hours meeting for a five minutes code change.

Developer superstition, never say something is easy, fast or straightfoward.

It will take weeks to develop, months to test and debug and you will consider change jobs just to stay away of that code

Change a portion of CSS code and the entire site is destroyed. Cascading Style Shit.

Boss decides he can improve my code.

Spends the whole day ”improving it” and in the end he doesn’t change anything..

Who else does this?

>Work on a website for weeks without taking a break.
>Really enjoy the outcome, take a deserved 2 days off.
>Come back to your code, suddenly you don't know where to start, you feel disgusted by your code and you totally change your idea on how your website should look in the first place.
>Delete it, start from scratch.

-> everyone at the company uses git
-> asked to change some stuff
-> boss says "don't remove the old code, just comment it in case we need it in the future"
-> ...
-> ???

Reviewer1 asked me to change something in my code. Reviewer2 asked me to revert the changes I made for Reviewer1. I hate this industry </3

Sometimes dirty code is more efficient than clean code.

If features get dropped frequently and requirements change every few days, writing best-practices, tested code is wasted time. Learned that in my first job where I thought the other devs were all bad. Until I realized their bad code pays my salary, and my clean code takes more time to develop.

How often does this happen????

Then they can't blame us for code quality.

Android oreo made me change so much code and broke so much shit like background services that my latest branch in git is FuckAndroidOBranch

When starting a project at work:

My name everywhere. Every file, every change-list I proudly put my name to prove my skills.

Program goes for validation:

Thousands of bugs.

Realize that I've written shit code. Slowly removing my names from all over the code.

I am an atheist but sometimes I thank Jesus when a change to some old messy code actually works

Me: here's the code.

Sr: allright, looks fairly ok. Just change all *FIELD* modifiers to protected rather than private.

Me: what? Why???

Sr: bcz that's the code style we've adopted.

Me: srsly? If so.. Where do you use private fields then?

Sr: nowhere. We use either protected or public so we could extend any class we want

"Change your algorithm"

Answers like this are why Stack Overflow almost becomes worthless when asking questions. I asked for some clarification why my code, which reads some files and outputs another, was hitting System.OutOfMemory exceptions. And that was the response I got.

"Change your algorithm"

How? In what manner should I be seeking to change my algorithm? OBVIOUSLY I SHOULD CHANGE MY ALGORITHM YOU WASTE OF OXYGEN. That was a given by the exception my program threw!

I swear to god, SO has got to be one of the most unwelcoming, condescending sites on the internet.

"It's only one small change on a single line of code. What could possibly go wrong?"

Visual studio 2017 with Xamarin:

* writing some sweet code, life is good.. build and run.
*change int age to 2, build, build failed, no single message why.
*clean, clean failed, no single message why.
* build rebuild clean all or by project, nothing works, no single message why.
*change nothing, restart VS, build success !
* writing some code, same problem
*restart VS, "this project is not compatible with Visual Studio"

Good bye guys, I'm gonna kill myself

Franz is his name, he is our new programmer. He got task to made a calendar to display ongoing ads with javascript, and damn good he done it fast. Until today, he not coming because he got ill and i have to edit his calendar code because there's a change request.I look at his code and thinking how he read this code? no indentation, bracket everywhere, etc. Then I call him:

Me: Franz, can you explain your code to me?
Franz: Sure, but.. umm.. I forgot to bookmark the stackoverflow link.
Me: ...

Climb into bed, feel something wet under leg. Wtf? I check. Bloody slug...

There was freaking slug in my bed...

Clean it out, change sheets and all (at 4am, I got lost in the code) and then see another one climbing up the side of the bed

Why do we have code reviews:
To stop stupid crap like column names with mis-matched cases:

* FirstName
* Lastname

Now it's in the production APi and nobody can change it.

SeniorDev: "If we were only allowed to use C# 6 features, we could reduce our code base by 30%"
- other devs nodding their heads in agreement -
Me: "So, are you going to change our entire code base to be C# 6 compliant?"
SeniorDev: "Uh, oh hell no."
Me: "So those C# 6 features are going to reduce our code base by 0%?"

SeniorDev turns around without saying a word.

Getting a bit awkwardly quiet now. Better watch my back.

When your "simple" example code looks like this, something really needs to change

I looked into the code of the website of our company. One of the first things I found was that the Login was hardcoded with clear passwords. So everytime a new user needs an account the code has to change.

I still can't understand how people can do that.

“Just make sure you change the code a bit so it doesn’t look like you copied it from Stack Overflow.”

On trying to compile again without making any code change

"The aim is to develop highly robust data streams so we have the flexibility to build and evolve the user interface without having to change code in the API"

Oh, is that all you need?

In a test software that I'm working on, there is a variable at the very beginning which has a comment "Don't change this variable!".

Hidden within the code is function to check the value. If the test user change it, a giant ಠ_ಠ appears on the screen.

No one will complain, but I can hear the gasps and the sudden chair movements... 😈

Worst project I had was when I was asked to just copy-paste code and change the names of variables. Yeah, that's it, nothing more than that.

Never accuse a co-worker of making a really stupid change to your code unless you know for certain that they made the change instead of you.

Wasting about an hour trying to leave detailed comments and suggestions for a fellow student on an university project's code.

Said person just respond on the team group with "If anyone does not like something, he/she can go ahead to change it, so we would move on faster"

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL DOING CODE REVIEWS???

Any project that started out with "All you have to do is make a copy of the old code. That should take 2-3 hours..." and ends with a huge list of change requests that takes days to fulfill.

this week started like shit, but today it seems like everything fell into place. the interns are working, the bs code i had to change works, i did more than i expected, plus i just cut my hair and it is cute as heck

So building a game engine and everything's internal name is wood/axe/lumberjack themed...

Started work on the scripting language and gave it the code name faggot script... Took me 48 hours to realise I should probably change that...

When you change one line of code, or forgot a ";"

Fucking what?! 7GBs to change one line of code and recompile...

ENV: *runs flawlessly for months*
DEVS: *deploy a code change*
ENV: *crashes and bursts in tears*
DEVS: "PerfEng Team, your environment is broken! Please fix it ASAP"

Making GUI using Swing. Every single little UI change requires writing a shitload of fugly code.

Why in the goddamn fucking world do I not fucking commit the fucking code every time there is a motherfucking major change

No documentation. Thousands of lines of code. Still learn enough about the solution to make a required change in a day. Now the company feels like I should be the one to lead training for the module, and I still don't know what the other half of the code does. T-minus two hours...

I love the way young devs code assuming the product owner won't change their mind

The moment when the product manager changes your requirements last minute and you have to change all of your code. 😑

When older devs must keep all obsolete code in comments, "Just in case". No amount of begging can change their mind. Source control is a thing now in 2016, maybe you should read up on it.. 😑

There are two ways to understand your code,

- change something and see what broke

- print_r

So.... yeah, making a Scratch clone (with more features) is frustrating and super hard.

Major problems include
- Drag&Drop from listbox to usercontrol - stress level : 3/10
- connect blocks when two blocks are close to each other - stress level : 10/10
- generate live code when there was a change in blocks editor - stress level : 9/10
- write a compiler or some interpreter that converts block code to real c# code - stress level : 10/10
- generate output by calling csc.exe - stress level : 1/10
- make code at least readable - stress level : 7/10

Web dev prob:

When you modify a code then refresh your browser, It doesn't change anything and you think your code has the problem, Modifies 100+ lines and refreshed the page, still nothing happens. Asked someone about it, Fix? Fucking cache! Fuck you google chrome!

A group member in my senior level computer science class is afraid of the command line so they change code through the GitHub website, essentially using it like Google Drive.

Why do so many online resources still change quote characters in the code for the curly ones? It's 2023, how hard is it to add a fucking rule to skip conversion inside the <code> blocks?

When you change 200 lines of code all over the place in a class and then realize that you forgot to pull 17 commits from origin 😖

I seen a dev disable failing integration tests that started failing after his code change

when you're copying code from stack overflow and you have to change the class names

When your manager can't code and is blown away when it takes 2 secs to change a table header in your html, but then extremely frustrated when you can't instantly implement dynamic filters. Like no, dude... No. That's not how web development works.

Seriously!? You don't fucking delete or change code because you don't understand it and push it to production, it's the way it is because of reasons you airhead can't comprehend ... ffs the fucker could have asked me and saved us trouble and embarrassment.

Fuck.

Abstract anything dealing with external services where if they go out of business, change their internal policies, or you get a wild hair up your ass you won't have to change your entire code base later.

Be me

Have a company wide incident happen during on call

Say you're rolling back a change in a service that might have been the cause

Have someone laugh and say that change was just a new endpoint and completely unrelated

Be embarrassed

Have a senior director point out the code change that was the issue

Embarrass yourself in front of the entire company (it impacted everyone)

But hey atleast it wasn't my change

Who the fuck change my code, i had fixed it

Man nothing quite like reworking some code to make it 'better' so that nobody has to read it top to bottom to make a change.

And then months later get a request and think "Oh crap that code".... and you go in and find the little hooks you added made a 3 or 4 hour (or more) change into a 15 minute task.

Product manager calls me at 7 PM. "There's gonna be a slight change in the module. You can reuse lot of existing code and I'm sure it won't take much for you to finish. "

Me: Okay, let me take a look at it tomorrow morning.

The next day I saw the spec change.

One and half weeks later, I'm still doing the change.

#FML

I see this in code:

bool status;
status = true;

It makes me want to hit things. INLINE THAT SHIT! bool status = true; It's not hard. JFC. And of course I don't have the authority to change it.

Spent 4h+ debugging my code (it was late)...only to realise that my code was not buggy, but the fuckup in design was in the original part I didn't change..FML..

No wonder my Python code was broken. I called the super function of the wrong ancestor 🙄 Lesson learned: run the tests after every functional change, no matter how trivial it might seem.

Swift changes syntax again! Apple is treating their language like an Apple product. Why can't they decide? What's that? you have a project? Goodluck converting your code when we decide to change everything ;)

Told to work on a ticket with a partner. Partner changes my code to what they wanted. Review comes back and partner has to change back to my format.

*sips juice coz I love the violence*

The world is full of write-only devs. People who never look at the code they create or change.
That's the only explanantion I can find for the fact that everytime I look into some code I have never touched or haven't seen for a while, I instantly spot at least one error that is so elementary, that there is absolutely no chance to miss it.

Of course I can change someone else's code to do something totally different, understand it and all within an hour of your call... on a Sunday morning! 😠

I was working on a section of code and had to make a change to an if-statement. So I searched for "if" to get there... Idiot...

I started writing a basic translator for a language I invented. I’m currently stuck in my code, not because I don’t know what to do, but because I have to change a few endings in my language 😭

The whole app was a shitshow...
- Cancel order as a post request (the same post request used to save the order).
I demoed the client how with a couple of lines of code I could change his "Cancel order" button to "Mark my order as payed" button....
- List orders method took an user id as input...
- Update profile did not care about wich properties you should be able to change as a non admin...
And so on...

make code change

stop server

try to re run server

dependency problems

java, tomcat, gradle , eclipse, just kill me, dont torture me like this

Me (10years ago): "I'll be an engineer; write code; solve world hunger and poverty and change the world"

Me (Now): "This bashscript better not fuck up the 90 F5s."

When I am asked to do something and the next day same person asks to change what was changed the day before.
For fuck sake do a prototype and fucking change that and not the actual fucking code 😒😒😒

When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo

Made a change.
Patched some files.
Ran the app.
App not working as intended.
Freak out.
Check code.
Think of random solution.

Waste an hour.

Realise that files weren't patched properly.
Kick myself in the head.

That time when one of the npm modules you use gets a patch that contains a breaking change. You fix your code. Then a week later the module patches again and revert the breaking change. :/

Just committed a code review change with a heart emoji included, Turns out Crucible does not support this and it broke the code review, Spent the last half an hour trying to change my commit message to fix the review

FML

I talk to clients. I prepare the requirements. I design the database structure. I design prototype frontend. I do documentation. I code. I debug. I update change log.

I die.

Had to make a change in an ugly codebase. For this I had to change a config value which was duplicated three times in the code base. So I wanted to refactor the code so that the config was in one place.

I worked on this for two days and it was starting to look good. On the third day when I started to work on this I realized that I couldn't start the server anymore. Looking through version control I figure out that my co-worker had stayed till 3am last night to work on the change I was supposed to make.

I had to spend all morning undoing his commits. Once I was done refactoring the actual change took me ten minutes.

Why the fuck would you stay until the middle of the night to work on someone else's task?!

Could have just asked how it was coming along if I wasn't working fast enough for him.

me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy

me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more*

application runs fine..
colleague makes a small code change..
application crashes..
colleague asks in wonder why the application crashes all of a sudden

did you debug? no
can you debug? ok .. .... ... .. ah it's that change I just did

Not a rant. Most epic phrase. I would love to change the world but they won't give me the source code!!!!

Made a tiny-ass code change and commited it today. Put in a proper enough commit message as well (any dev would have understood).

Not 5 minutes later, my manager calls me (I was happy that my code was being reviewed so quickly) and asks "why did you make this change?" So I started explaining it to him. End of the discussion, turns out I had to give him 2 details: "it was a customer request" and "<insert client name here>".

Why did I ever try. Rather why didn't he try.

Do you ever forget to commit something at home and then rewrite the entire change on the go, purely because you lack the patience?

I just did, and writing code with full knowledge of the bugs and quirks you had to hammer out before feels so sweet

When it comes to nervewrecking situations, what I've encountered so far is a pull request for which the 2 reviewers had opposite opinions.
Something like this:
* opens pull request *
reviewer 1: "update using approach A"
* updates code *
reviewer 2: "this is wrong, change to approach B"
* updates code again *
reviewer 1: "this isn't what i asked for, i'm rejecting your PR"
Oh, also, each of them had their own set of coding standards.

What was your most challenging situation when writing code?

The moment when you change one single line of code and the whole website is broken ...

It's kinda nice to have a long weekend for a change to work on my endless list of unfinished side projects and code what I want to code, and not having to use fucking Windows 11 on a slow-ass work laptop.

So why the fuck did you go into code that I've written, change the name from "mode" to "type" throughout the >1500 lines of code that's relevant to the feature, and then move on to change my implementation to something that is arguably not common practice for the language and framework we're using, and in turn create duplicate state? And why the fuck weren't these changes in separate clear commits, but instead scattered over multiple commits? You're supposed to be senior!

Currently doing my final handover, the "senior" developer is trying hardly to find things for me to change not in the code, no, in the documentation. Bitch, this is the ~most~ only documented project in the whole company!

#5 days left.

If your “solution” fixes the test case which is failing, it does NOT guarantee that it is the correct fix. You don’t just blindly change whatever piece of code you like to make just the test case pass. You actually also need to analyse the code and ensure that the rest of the intended functionality is still intact.

When you change one line of your source code and all of the rest of code don't work any more. Fucking Shit!

So I've never taken the time to fully learn git/github. I'm guessing my life will probably change after today. Might explore some different code editors while I'm at it.

> do you feel sorry for freelancing contractors
> whose previous client abandoned them
> they ask you to help them fix some trivial bugs in the shitty code
> you believe you can change the world by going overboard by also improving the code quality, along with fixing the bugs
> initialize an empty file where you'll translate the shitty code into a more organized one
> start creating variables and generic functions which can be used in a modular and organized fashion
> meticulously document the first function you write
> realize this is not worth your time
> insert some glue code into the original code which fixes the trivial bugs
> glue code has hard coded values so it adds to the shittiness of the code
> submit the work
> get $$$

I would love to change the world but they won’t give me the source code

When you debug a piece of code for a good half an hour and then realise you forgot to change the name of some variable when copying code from earlier bits.

Copy and paste similar code where I have to change X values but ALWAYS mange to only change X-1 values so i get weird behaviour start debugging what in the end then takes longer than to write it new in the first place. Hate myself for that.

Just spent 2-3 hours working on code that's been functional for months, but suddenly stopped working bc an dependency I'd updated decided to change required input/output formats without any documentation whatsoever on those new requirements.

Pulled an all nighter for a project, the next thing i know i am demonstrating my code with the error message i forgot to change which was houston we got a problem, i felt so weird and i was laughing very hard after the project presentation

Skype password lost -> reset email -> new password given -> login failed on skype client -> login via website -> invalid password -> reset password -> first enter code by email -> done -> assign new password -> login via password -> someone else is using your account, you have to change the password -> first ensure you are you by enter a code -> code entered -> change password -> password changed -> finally login works
Way to go Microsoft!

so I just changed my password 3 times in the last 5 minutes to get access to skype... for a call we finally made via whatsapp... now I will remove skype again until next year, when I have to make that famous "once a year" call with skype

The next time I hear some idiot defending his shitpile of code with the argument " BuT iT wOrKs wHy ChAnGe" some heads gonna' roll.

Comment on a code review:
How does this relate to the task?
Me:
Most of the changes have nothing to do with the task, but half of the code & build system was either wrong, broken or not following best practices. This particular change is because something was broken.

Dear managers:

Don't rush developers when they're reviewing code - telling them to cut corners.

You're not a dev (anymore). This shit is important if you want a system that doesn't blow up / takes months to make a simple change.

It's my name going against this approval and I (and the team) have to live with the code every day

Fuck the design guidelines that change every fucking day. It makes Front-End an unbearable hell. I'm seriously tired of having to code stupid shit for exceptions exceptions exceptions.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

One of my colleagues just tried to deny a buggy code change was his on the grounds that the new code contains logging and he never uses logging.

Been working on a back-end server for one of my apps. Then I discovered Firebase. The way I code apps will change forever now. I've deleted all my back-end code and migrated to Firebase.
Firebase is like the new Parse.io, I love it

Let me tell all of you who don't like big frameworks..
The nice thing about them is that they minimize the amount of SHIT CODE all of you who think you know how to code, but actually don't, write..
And minimizes the amount of headache for the devs who need to then maintain/fix/change your SHIT CODE.

yes...lets put routes 10 dirs deep into the project and let ppl look for it..

Too much technical debt
Write more unit tests
Unit tests failing, the code will be right so change the tests to pass
Too many unit tests to maintain, they look a lot like technical debt
Remove unit tests to reduce maintenance overhead

1. The end result. The moment it works.

2. The possibilities. You can either change the world or amuse yourself. It's your choice.

3. What's not to love about code?

Change one line of code. Fix the tests for the next 6 hours. This is absolutely normal... NOT!

Not writing tests for your code is like leaving it unguided in the hands of future Devs who gonna just change something and break the core logic and there won't be any regression test to run and check the integrity.

Don't check in a major/ groundbreaking change a day or two before sprint demo! However confident you are about your code just postpone it until after all sprint demos 😷

Fucked up.

Reviewed a code and gave ship it for a colleague's code change.

In a single day, got high severity ticket cut to the team.

I am done. Not going to do anymore code reviews. I suck at it.

! Rant

Today i had to revisit my code to change some functionality for an application i made 3 years back.

I wish i could go back in time, refactor the code and write Unit tests.

Gmail filtering sucks but i just realized something.... i have an app for this... i just need to copy an existing project and change the code!

@apple since I can't move Xcode's instruction pointer without crashing Xcode or my app, I have to use a global with 'if' statements to have optional debugging logic.

if( ! gAppleFuckTards) {
... do optional code stuff
}

and then change the value of gAppleFuckTards with the debugger to execute the code.. but WAIT

Xcode purports to be able to change values via debugger but really cannot... can't change gAppleFuckTards to false in the debugger. But that kinda makes sense as it is an empirical truth.

Thwarted by the cosmos again!

What I absolutely love to do is refactoring. With strongly typed languages, I often just remove or change something and then follow the compiler errors to finish the refactoring by fixing them.
It‘s not just a matter of renaming something. I will reliably get all the places in code which are affected by the change.

How do you handle that with weakly typed languages like JS? I can only imagine how horrible of an experience refactoring would be.

Code doesn't work?
Better change nothing and run it again.

When you change the color of your syntax highlighting on your code edtor

Aaahhh, it's the little things: actually getting to spend ~90% of my time for 3-4 days straight writing code for a change! #LeadLife

So, today I revisited my 5 months old code and was like "What? Did I really wrote this horrible code?" 😐️ 🙂️ 😃️🔫️

```js
setState((initVal) => {
initVal.food = 'burger';
return initVal;
});
```

The function above change its argument's value, which is terrible thing to do, since it will also change the original value passed to the function. A variable's value for example. Making it an impure function.

Just realized every 3 digit ++ amount can be translated to a shorthand hex code. Maybe this should change the background for new users until they reach 1000 ++s? Just throwing it out there, not really requesting it as a feature. 800++ would be maroon as an example.

Did you know “Agile” actually means “Never change code”?

Neither did I until I started working here haha help me

Rant..
Realised I was working with the outdated version of JavaScript library and all my months effort needs redo. Shit!!! Why do devs change code so much that backward compatibility becomes an issue.....

When you code all day long, on your workplace and later at home, "live" meaning switches places. Stops being "code to live" and becomes "live for code". Change my mind.

when someone change the syntax of the code

Einstein: Insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

Me [After my code fails to compile]: Let me change nothing and run it again.

Went through some of the first code I ever wrote and saw that I had typed bar == !true...

Oh how the times change

Was reading this blog. COBOL started as a low code application for managers to write code in a language close to English.

The more things change, the more they remain retarded.

That time when the IT guy for your client company email you asking if we need to change code of their web based system cause they got new printer.

He forwarded the question from users like he didn't know the users needed to select a new printer or change their default printer.

God knows what he's doing there!!

Just got my Linux dev environment set up, even got an alias working that would launch all the software I needed to test my code. Then today decided to change primary drives. At least I know how to set it back up next time, right?

...a project with well defined requirements that doesn't change shape every day making useless any attempt to define a solid code structure...my dear client I can do all you want but you can't change your ideas every 10 minutes

Today another developer recommends to me change coffe to a green apple and green apple juice today i transform green apples into code... lol.

How would you start to change the world through code?

Immortality in the sense like Matrix did it would be quite handy. Imagine you could become a program like Smith and be able to change your own source code, clone yourself with the same thoughts, knowledge and past.

Well, unless someone turns your machine off.

Fuck reuse, we should all take our repeatable code and manually repeat it everywhere it's needed so when we have to make a change we have to make sure we remember to change it in all the places and take hours to do a one line change.

...Also...fuck source control...

And they say I don't have fucks to give.

You either spend time organising the code even for a “small project” which “will never change” or cry at your mess one year later

Currently modifing a old Excel VBA Application. Found code which try to parse a Textbox on every change. If its a valid Number, it saves the value into a label. When saving the form the label will be parsed and validated instead of the Textbox

My company wants me to add semicolon in my JS code. I now have to change 191 lines. Why would you want the goddamn ;
😭

My biggest influencer? My Web Dev schools psychologist. Always scheduling breaks in our day.
He continuously reminded us it's a positive thing to walk away from the code and change up the brain patterns.

What do Software Engineers think of Capitalism ? Do you see yourselves just as “white collar” workers and code monkeys to be exploited ? Or do you see yourselves as harbingers of change towards a more knowledge based economy ?

This idiot client wanted me to code within a laravel app. He wanted me to use laravels translation helpers. He also wanted me to put every piece of code into a php file in the public directory and I must not change any of Laravels framework files...

I denied.

Code didn't change my life because I've been coding since I was a kid. You could say that it shaped my life instead. I don't know life without code. I don't know if that's good or it's not...

Hate it when client demands a small specific change and doing what requires a lot of modifications in the code.

Code review moment that I hate

Me: This is a bad practice. You shouldn't do this
Developer: But it works

*Showed articles and examples why it's bad*

Developer: I see. But it works. Why should I change it?

When you marvel at your code creation and the beauty of your envisionment only to be painfully whittled down as your boss tells you to change it all, because he doesn't like how the code looks. Joys of being a junior developer!

delete random, unused column from production database
entire app blows up
re-release last change on code pipeline
everything works beautifully
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Some things never change

> Have to deploy only one feature to production
> Create branch from latest tag, cherry pick the correct changes
> Mess up merge
> Almost deploy resulting broken code to production
> Realize at last moment
> Let out a loud sigh, start over

Every damn time.

So I spent all day today trying to debug a C++ Program and after hours of digging into the code , I realized i had copy-pasted a for loop and had forgotten to change the loop variable from i to j. 😑

So my code wasn't working and couldn't understand why. I had a statement like someVar == 'A' but when I wrote the letter A I didn't change my keyboard language from Greek to English and I didn't notice because the letters are the same in both languages. Spent like 8 hours commenting out and debugging code just to re-write all the code cause I thought the compiler is broken or I am losing my mind....

Getting the senior dev to change anything in the API because "my code isn't wrong"

Say the world's source code was opened for anyone to edit, which function would you change?

// js land

function conception(e) {
e.preventDefault();
return;

// original code here
}

I just implemented the cookie popup you wanted me to make. And now you give me a call that your tracking code doesn't appear in the source code?

Oh, but you don't see the cookie popup? You saw it right? So you've already set your cookie permissions, probably not to accept tracking cookies. We can check by... what's that?

If I can make the tracking code appear anyway?

...

Yeah, sure, no problem, change will be live in five minutes.

Just realized I don't have a code style. In python at least I stick to what flake8 tells me, but with C++ I change my style every project I work with to adapt to their existing code base, and then I keep that style untill the next project.

Current project is an ns-3 module, and their code style is quite horrible but I'm already making it a part of me.

Change code on PR or inform coder to change it themselves?

Tdd isn't very effective if the spec keeps change as you work.

I was trying to be good and write tests as I went, but it just ended up taking twice as long since I had to keep rewriting the code AND the tests.

Change code here, 500
Revert and change code there, 403
Revert and change code at both the places, 404
Revert and have a Potato

Waiting for Unity to recompile code after some small change is excruciating...

I hate arrow functions in ES6! Whenever I see them, I get acute code dyslexia and can't read shit. What the fuck is wrong with writing function, why change it for some unreadable series of symbols?

I use google auth for 2FA. Had to factory reset my phone for some reason. Meanwhile, github one day forced me to change my password. So I used the back up recovery code to change the password and then logged out. I was in a hurry and actually forgot to set up the new 2FA. But hey I have got the recovery codes right.

But, guess what? The recovery codes are not working anymore! Wtf github?

Would you guys get annoyed if someone(me) made a habit of going through your code and cleaned things up, such as clearer naming, untangling ifs with early returns and so on.

I mean doing stuff that doesn't change the behavior, but makes it easier for the next person.

fuck up some code and the mistake gets noticed later

add tests to cover up my fuck up

get asked to add tests for other existing presumably correct code i did not add or change in the nearby area

so be it

Doing personal online shopping whilst waiting for code to compile (took about 10-15 min every time, just for the smallest code change).
This was a really slow Adobe Flex system which I hated. Actually glad I left because no sane company uses Flash, even in 2012.