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If Doctors Were Like Coders
(cross-posted from https://medium.com/@c09b6133a238/...)
Problem: The patient has a broken leg.
Solution:
1. Ask the patient to reproduce the exact scenario that resulted in the broken leg. Watch closely to see if the leg breaks again. Check for consistency by repeating the scenario a few more times.
2. Explain that this isn’t an intended use case for the leg, and besides, it only affects one person. Ask the patient if, all things considered, he really wants to prioritize his broken leg over your other work.
3. Point out that the patient’s other leg performs just fine under the same circumstances. Ask if he can use his other leg instead, at least as a workaround.
4. Attach several accelerometers to the broken leg and break it again. Stare at the data received from the accelerometers, then shrug and declare it useless.
5. Decide that the patient’s problem must be in his spleen. After all, that’s the only part of his body you don’t really understand.
6. Track down the people who created the patient. Ask them if he’s ever had spleen problems before. When they seem confused, explain that he has a broken leg. Ignore them when they tell you that the spleen they created could not possibly cause a broken leg.
7. Ask Google where a person’s spleen is. Spend half an hour reading the Wikipedia article on Splenomegaly.
8. Open the patient and grumble about how tightly-coupled his spleen and circulatory system are. Examine the spleen’s outer surface to see if there are any obvious problems. Inform him that several of his organs are very old and he should consider replacing them with something more modern.
9. Compare the spleen to some pictures of spleens online. If anything looks different, try to make it look the same.
10. Remove the spleen completely. See if the patient’s leg is still broken. If so, put the spleen back in.
11. Tell the patient that you’ve noticed his body is made almost entirely out of cellular tissue, whereas most bodies these days are made out of cardboard. Explain that cardboard is a lot easier for beginners to understand, it’s more forgiving of newbie mistakes, and it’s the tissue franca of the Internet. Ask if he’d like you to rebuild his body with cardboard. It will take you longer, but then his body would be future-proof and dead simple. He could probably even fix it himself the next time it breaks.
12. Spend some time exploring the lymph nodes in the patient’s abdominal cavity. Accidentally discover that if the patient’s leg is held immobile for six weeks, it gets better.
13. Charge the patient for six weeks of work.14 -
*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
Yup.14 -
Not my mom, but my girlfriends grandmother. I told her that I am a software developer, a guy who makes the programs which run on computers.
She became really excited about that, because finally she found someone to repair her 40-year-old radio. I told her that I have no fucking idea about radios, but she did not want to hear that. So I looked at the case, randomly pushed some buttons and again told her, that I could not find the broken part, let alone repair it. But she didn't listen and told me to open the case and look inside.
Sighingly I opened the radio, looked at the inner parts and told her once more, that I don't know anything about this stuff. She told me to look more closely. About to lose my mind about this pointless task, I finally told her, that "the transistor" is the problem and that the best thing she could do is to throw it away and buy a new radio. She was happy with that answer.15 -
Client: "This has been broken for weeks! Why is it still broken!?!?"
Me: "Did you tell anyone it was broken?"
Client: "Well...um...no..."
I may be good at my job, but I have not been able to (nor do I want to) develop mind-reading abilities. Now please fuck off (so that I can go fix it).7 -
Stolen from an awesome book but my new favourite line ;)
Someone: “Can you repair my computer， it`s not working anymore?”
Me: “Do you call Leonardo Dicaprio when your Tv is broken?”7 -
Git makes it easy to search through historical changes they said. Git is amazing when working in teams they said.
It sure is.
If your coworkers do not commit every time they burp or fart, do not use "🚀" or "✨" or "fix" as a commit message, and do not push all their shitty experimental broken branches without cleaning up.
I'm surprised there are no piles of fecal matter behind their desk chairs.
16 -
So my actual job is being a nurse at the local hospital, with coding being just a hobby. However, the way some IT–Related things are treated here are just mind-blowing. Here are some examples:
Issue: Printer is not recognized by network anymore due to not being properly plugged in
Solution: Someone has to tell the house technician, if the house technician is currently not available, ask his assistant who only works part time and like twice a week. House technician took the printer (God knows why), came back 2 days later and plugged it back in.
Issue: Printer 1 of 2 on ICU has run out of ink and since all computers default to printer 1, nobody can print.
Solution: Call the house technician, blah blah, house technician comes, takes ink cartridge of printer 2 and puts it into printer 1.
Issue: Public WiFi is broken, can be connected to but internet access is missing. Probably config issue as a result of a recent blackout.
Solution: Buy a new router, spend 5 days configuring it and complain about how hard networking is.
Issue: Computer is broken, needs to be exchanged with a new one, but how do we transfer the data?
Solution: Instead of just keeping the old hard drive, make a 182GB backup, upload it to the main file server and then download it again on the new computer.
Issue: Nurse returns from vacation, forgot the password to her network account.
Solution: Call the technician who then proceeds to open a new account, copies all the files from the old one and tells her to pick an easier password this time. She chooses "121213".12 -
Oh the joy of helping elders with their computers..
...
Client: My computer is broken.
*Me expecting some kind of hardware issue*
Me: In what way is it broken? Are you able to start the computer?
Client: Yes. I can read Windows and then there's a login. It works fine but then It's broken.
*me standing next to client while client struggles to type password*
...
*5 minutes and a coffee brake later*
/* the client is finally able to figure out the password.. What a suprise! A note in the drawers containing all passwords.. */
Me: I'm sorry but I can't see any problems so far. You are supposed to be welcomed by your desktop *points at screen*. In what way is it broken?
Client: It's not the same as before. *now the client points at the screen*. Here. There used to be a picture here. It took me to <site>. Now It's not there. Something has changed.
*realizing that the client has lost his shortcut and wants a new one*
Oh the joy of helping elders with their computers.6 -
"If it's not broken, don't fix it"
Follow that and you will be blessed with lots of ugly, duct-taped, hacky and unoptimized code -_-11 -
Me: you should not open that log file in excel its almost 700mb
Client: its okay, my computer has 4gb ram
Me: *looking at clients computer crashing*
Client: the file is broken!
Me: no, you just need to use a more memory efficient tool, like R, SAS, python, C#, or like anything else!5 -
Our coffee machine at work is broken. We're a fucking high tech company delivering unique solutions with millions of requests every second of the day to over 60 countries, how can we not have a working fucking COFFEE MACHINE in the kitchen? How are we suppose to keep the lights on if we can't get our daily coffee god damnit?! It's been broken for over a week.
Sure, I'll just walk to the floor upstairs to get coffee LIKE THEY DID IN THE EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS. Maybe I should just come in to work on a horse with armor stabbing some funny looking fucker because it seems like we're living in the GOD DAMN EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS and that was a totally legit action back then. Get your shit together, call the company providing the coffee machine service and just have them fix it. How hard can it be??12 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
This mother fucker right here.
Today I was asked as a favor by one of our vendors to assist one of their other customers with an API integration issue. We work very closely with this vendor and help beta their products etc.
I'm helping as a favor. And this guy could not be more of a dick. Constantly throwing his 20ys of experience at me and saying the API is broken. A good portion of my job is API integration so I've seen 30+ platforms all done differently and this one in question is by far the simplest.
Where does this chodemuffin get off being a dick to me? You know what buddy. Eat a dick. Figure it out yourself.3 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
"We care about your privacy [...]"
That's why we make it ultra inconvenient to turn off all of our advertising trackers and give you a broken list of on/off sliders that are slow as fuck. Also, why not just press the 'accept all' at the top of the page? See that big green button? Yeah green is good let's just press it and get this over with right?
Oh and that 'deny all' button? Yeah, a shame nobody actually put some programming into that thing, why not just press the green button next to it? You're only making it harder for yourself y'know...4 -
Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.
SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!
He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.7 -
Dear Telegram, the fact that you're using a service which provides app usage/metrics/analytics kind of is not nice.
"But they've got the right to!"
Of course they do. But, when you advertise yourself as a messaging app focused on privacy, I expect you to behave that way.
And yes, we know your crypto is broken as fuck but that's not the point right now.
Oh and yeah, the next blog item will probably be about Telegram and how not-privacy friendly it is.22 -
My phone screen is broken and automatic touches are happening everywhere.
Opened devrant every rants are getting ++'s.
Also apparently I'm not able to add any tags to this rant.
Free ++'s everyone.
(This took me almost 20 minutes to type)11 -
Every programming language I know of does trigonometry in radians.
Yet I have been puzzled for 4 hours whether JS was broken because it kept saying Math.sin(30) != Math.sin(150), trying all kinds of values, looking up basic trigonometry stuff again and again.
After that, 10 minutes of wondering why my json was invalid... right, you can't comment things out.
Then 15 minutes being baffled by a simple script tag not working, because I wrote script href instead of script src.
Finally, I threw a liter of chocolate milk over a $400 keyboard.
I really need to stop setting up new projects at 3am.7 -
DO NOT USE JAVASCRIPT FOR PUBLIC WEBSITES IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!
Almost every fucking day, I click a fucking button and NOTHING HAPPENS. I open the console and find tens of JavaScript errors, that *I* have to debug and fix in order to proceed.
FUR FUCK SAKE, JavaScript is not strictly needed, those fucking React and Vue are also not needed. Just now I wanted to download a form: IT'S A FUCKING PDF FILE, why the fuck are you putting your broken JavaScript function to let me download it!? PUT A FUCKING DOWNLOAD LINK YOU FUCKING MORON!
Nobody is forcing anybody to use JavaScript or those fucking fancy frameworks, SO WHY THE FUCK PEOPLE OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS THAT USED TO WORK SO WELL!14 -
I login this morning
Everyone going crazy as prod is broken in a million ways. 2.5 million exceptions In 24 hours.
We talk for 1 hour and solve nothing.
I diagnose the 2 biggest sources of exceptions and explain every step I took with screen snippets to reach my conclusions
The one other competent person on my team agrees. Otherwise complete silence.
I'm told not to fix the issue because I am leaving in 6 weeks and other people have to start taking responsibility.
No one fixes the issues. Instead they leave early. Now it's the weekend and the product is fucked.
Fucking useless people. Can't wait to leave.12 -
God dammit, my ISP fucked up.
I have a 400 Mbit/s Internet connection, which I pay a lot for it. I live in the central of a average city and we got 18 Appartements here with a banque and a wellness shop underneath.
There is a new shop under our block and 1 month ago a tecnician was here and made some recabling, so the shop would get enough performace.
Now since 1 week ago I have a bad output, laggs in games and just get about 250 Mbit/s, when not on high traffic times.
That fucking multipler in our house is over 10 years old and around 18 households are connected to it.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT CHANGING IT, WHEN YOU SEE IT'S NOT ENOUGH?
We all here in this building are paying a lot for it, and now that fucking thing is overused and broken and you're just grabbing our money you shitbags!!!
YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE FUCKING JOB!!!23 -
Don't apply for a job that you don't like. You're gonna hate your life.
Don't ask for a salary you know you're not worth.
Work in a tech company as much as possible. If you don't, you're gonna be treated as a powerpoint presentation expert, office installation expert, video editor/movie maker expert, IT support guy, loose plug/broken headset repairman, facebook hacker, and a dark magician all at once. Most (not all) tech companies know who you are better. They understand your needs better.7 -
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
Microsoft Internet Explorer is my least favorite enterprise software. We are forced to use it. I hate being forced. This is like being asked to climb a mountain with a broken leg...not fun, painful, hopeless, threatening, discouraging, slow, and ugly, and infected...it is downright evil corporate bullshit.
<!--[if IE]>
<link rel="styleshit" type=trash/css" href="die-die-die-you-evil-bastard.css"/>
<![endif]-->
Just push it over the edge with a chrome sword stuck in its back. I will just sit here by the fire with my pet fox and watch the opera as I listen to vivaldi.
3 -
When your classmates are such lobotomites, that they manage to fry 11 fucking IC's within a day! And I am the one who has to find and replace all the broken stuff. FFS it says 9V right there on the board NOT 12V! No, your board should not draw 1.7AMPS! This chip is getting kinda hot. What is wrong? ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PROBES IS BRIDGING ONE OF THE PINS!
Why isnt this working correctly? You adjusted the wrong fucking potentiometer!
I know I have far more experience than most of my classmates, but man, atleast try to not break things by just thinking: "I dont know dis. (Its actually written in the docs!) So imma assume it will be fine if I do dis. It wasnt fine!"
Also IF something doesnt work, DO NOT TURN UP THE VOLTAGE ON THE CIRCUIT BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE ERROR. Which in most cases it is not!
7 -
Fvcking project manager wants me to commit my partials code to the master branch just to let our employers know that we did something today! That's why you are there to relay our predicaments to them, you piece of shit!
Now he is insisting it the whole team. Fvck! Are you nuts? Do you really understand what version control really means? Why master branch, why can't we just create fucking different branch and push it there if they want reference! Commits are supposed to be a fix code or update not a broken and unfinished piece of codes! I will fvcking cross my finger after messing up the master branch. Now it looks so disgusting to me.9 -
I'm fairly certain my boss'.....boss (didn't want to count them.. it's high up the chain, and slightly lateral) thinks I'm incredibly weird. I have too many sports injuries to be fully functional and they all flare up while I'm sitting at my desk. To offset this, I stand up or walk around while on the phone, and occasionally stretch.
These stretches are for hip and it band, usually, which are a bit more involved, so of course he ONLY fucking walks into the damn office while I'm stretching. (Image search for hip stretch).
To top it off, I have an unfortunate colored ointment for the pain in my elbow that i was applying today while stretching, and im scared to know what he was thinking before he realized what was actually going on. Imagine hip stretching (this one with leg on desk) while rubbing milky sort of clear ointment into skin...
Sir, if you're reading this, I promise I'm not actually that weird at work, you just have shitty timing.5 -
Gf: "Why are you such a typist"
Me: "I promise not to buy more keyboards with blue switches..."
Gf: "No, I mean like being racist or sexist, but you discriminate types"
Me: "Uhhh"
Gf: "You are always bitching about how awful date/time types are, with timezones, leap seconds and daylight savings"
Me: Face turns pale, thousand yard stare, vietnam-flashback to when I was writing a calendar scheduling/meeting/matching tool which used 3 databases, with timestamps in different formats, and web frontends for people in offices around the world.
Me, with a soft broken voice: "So?"
Gf: "You've been working on that palette tool this week, and you keep talking about how interesting all these colorspaces, white balances and conversion formulas are"
Me: 🤔5 -
after spending a day figuring out why my code does not work, i finally realized someone broke master
then i found myself in the following conversation
jim : "yeah, we found out about it yesterday, i am working on a fix right now"
me : "so why did you not send and email to everyone that master is broken, don't pull changes"?
jim : "hey... someone told me to fix it, so that's what i am doing. that doesn't include sending an email. if you want to, you can send it.. "7 -
Company: We were able to save a couple of dollars by purchasing an entire fleet of ipads instead of iphones through our supplier!
Dev: Our users walk around an industrial facility carrying things all day, how will they carry these devices now that they no longer fit in their pockets.
Company: We can get them backpacks!
Dev: …
Dev: did you at least buy protective cases for them?
Company: We have to save money! Don’t worry we told the users not to drop them. Plus none of the old iphones were ever broken so this is a non-issue.
Dev: The iPhones are in cases, they drop them quite a bit.
Company: Oh, well they shouldn’t be doing that!
** They proceeded to buy the cheapest knockoff cases I’ve ever seen. At least one ipad is smashed a week now, backpacks aren’t used because of lack on convenience. All this in the name of seeming to shave off a couple bucks for a one time purchase that didn’t even need to be made, iphones were working perfectly fine. Meanwhile there are glaring issues at the company getting ignored because they get themselves continually distracted by unhelpful pet projects that address things that are not broken and often make them worse.8 -
Ticket: Add <feature> to <thing>. It works in <other things> so just copy it over. Easy.
Thing: tangled, over-complicated mess.
Feature: tangled and broken, and winds much too deep to refactor. Gets an almost-right answer by doing lots of things that shouldn't work but somehow manage to.
I write a quick patch that avoids the decent into madness and duplicates the broken behavior in a simple way for consistency and ease of fixing later. I inform my boss of my findings and push the code.
He gets angry and mildly chews me out for it. During the code review, he calls my patch naive, and says the original feature is obviously not broken or convoluted. During the course of proving me wrong, he has trouble following it, and eventually finds out that it really is broken -- and refuses to admit i was right about any of it. I'm still in trouble for taking too long, doing it naively, and not doing it correctly.
He schedules a meeting with product to see if we should do it correctly. He tells product to say no. Product says no. He then tells me to duplicate the broken behavior. ... which I already did.
At this point I'm in trouble for:
1) Taking too long copying a simple feature over.
2) Showing said feature is not simple, but convoluted and broken.
3) Reimplementing the broken feature in a simpler way.
4) Not making my new implementation correct despite it not working anywhere else, and despite how that would be inconsistent.
Did everything right, still in the wrong.
Also, they decided I'm not allowed to fix the original, that it should stay broken, and that I should make sure it's broken here, too.
You just have to admire the sound reasoning and mutual respect on display. Best in class.19 -
I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:
Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?
It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.
If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?
While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?
I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?
If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!5 -
!rant OMG GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!! I only have tendinitis in my elbow causing pain in my hand, not carpal tunnel or arthritis 😄10
-
Fucking evopdf, I spent 2 days trying to figure out why the fuck my js isn't rendering the html for printing. I created the structure in html already, and it's rendered perfectly with js DOM, when evopdf ran from backend it shows nothing, tried not using external script, tried to put value one by one, it works, my css is also broken, thanks fucker, the client only asked to directly download the html page instead of save as PDF. I thought why the fuck not?
evo pdf modified my CSS element for some odd reason, flex and grid got messed up, page width also fucked along with font size, doesn't support some javascript function. I shit you not the .after and let doesn't work. Fucking garbage
Edit: it worked now, but I spend hours today rewriting everything just to looks decent and it still looks like shit fml6 -
What's the point of using a framework if you don't use any of its features!? What the heck, I have to fix this damn web frontend that is so broken in many ways.
Instead of using an authentication middleware, every single view has the same block of code to check if a user is authenticated. Instead of templates, they used static HTML/JavaScript files and they passed data to pages through cookies.
The "REST" API is so messed up, nothing is resource-oriented, HTTP methods are chosen randomly as well as status codes. They are returning "412 Precondition Failed" instead of a plain simple "401 Unauthorized" when you're not authenticated! What the hell, did they even bother to check what 412 is about when they copied and pasted it from a crappy website!? I would never come up with 412, not even in my scariest nightmare.
What kind of drugs were they using when they wrote such code? Oh dear, I need a vacation...2 -
Gets run over by truck. Laptop in peaces. Insurrance needed to be sure it was actually broken. Sends laptop to a repair center. They tell me its broken. Repair center asks if I want my laptop back. I said: yes pls. Get laptop back. RAM stolen SSD stolen. Reee! They forgot to send it back..... I mean, you did not have to take out those parts to see it i broken.
12 -
it is fun when ppl younger more than 10 years just entered into coding and tech scene offers solutions to solve my problems
which is nothing wrong and i encourage that
but then they miss core concept of how stuff should work and are not able to see real fundamentally broken problems
and then assumes im stupid
and then i want to burn them to ashes2 -
This one guy on my team had like 10 commits to a single file over a day with all kinds of wild changes.
Build is broken most of the day (not mine but whatever).
Finally, at end of day he says it is fixed.
I diff the first and last changes.
Copyright changed...wtf2 -
I fucking hate HTML forms! Especially representing bloody nested objects within them!
Fighting with html forms has taken at least 80% of my time over the past three features. Why can't I just do this via API? It would be soo much freaking simpler! ugh.
But today.
Today is not going to be a good day.
I not only get to expand a complicated vanilla form with with one nested object today, I get to expand it to include three nested objects. Normally this wouldn't be a problem because it's just moving elements around, but two of those nested objects need to be broken up and combined into three+ segments each. I have no idea how to even approach this.
ugh.17 -
So today was the worst day of my whole (just started) career.
We have a huge client like 700k users. Two weeks ago we migrated all their services to our aws infrastructure. I basically did most of the work because I'm the most skilled in it (not sure anymore).
Today I discovered:
- Mail cron was configured the wrong way so 3000 emails where waiting to be sent.
- The elastic search service wasn't yet whitelisted so didn't work for two weeks.
- The cron which syncs data between production db en testing db only partly worked.
Just fucking end me. Makes me wonder what other things are broken. I still have a lot to learn... And I might have fucked their trust in me for a bit.13 -
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.
Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...13 -
Got an email...
Colleague A (who acts like he supervises me because he's here longer than than I am but he doesn't) : Webpage is broken. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague A : Sorry I didn't pull the *other* file you committed (Yeah I know we're still on cvs...)
Another email...
Colleague B (who really is my boss) : Webpage doesn't show all records. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague B : Sorry I forgot check page 2.
That's all my development team. Right, development, not designers, or anything.
FML...2 -
I bet this guy feels real fuckin helpful, editing not only the question, but literally every answer in the entire thread. His contributions include:
Capitalizing names.
Adding italics to links (Really, he took the time and clicked "edit" just to do that to an answer)
Adding the word "The"
The fact that people spend their time religiously doing this makes my head spin.
Also aren't these edits bad? the title should be in google speak (i.e. short and broken English) so that they can be found from a search engine. I'm sure SO has some rules about the title or something, but I feel like it would be better in google speak.
13 -
Broken app is broken again. This app is broken so often and so hard, I'm struggling to give a damn.
These fuckers need to take their shitty project, code and managers especially, and launch them into Mars
They blame us and everyone else for their shit and I'm done with it. I need to sleep and not have these fools call me at all fucking hours.6 -
Short horror story: a coworker of mine renamed a directory in the git repo from ABC to abc. All MacOS users found their repos completely broken after pulling the changes. They didn't know that Apple's crappy HFS+ filesystem was case-insensitive.
I have ~10 coworkers, and each of them wasted at least 1 hour manually fixing this problem. This is like not working for more than a day.
(I'm forced to use a Mac too, but I use an ext3 volume for repositories.)7 -
Why does CSS never work the way you'd expect? All I want to do is align something to the bottom of a div. No. Will not happen. You'd think it might be something simple as 'v-align' or 'align: bottom' or 'fucking put it at the bottom: now;'
No, it's never that simple. I try every result I can find from googling. Nothing. Simply does not work.
How about trying to keep a div to a square when you resize the page? That should be simple? height = width right? Fuck you. Ha hahah, no you have to implement some horrendous arcane hack involving fake elements and other bullshit.
You finally fix one thing and everything else you had working is now broken.
...and then some fuckwit comes along and goes "Oh, CSS isn't hard..." and it takes everything you have not to beat them to death with your rubber duck.
What the hell is wrong with CSS? It's not even programming! It's just pure, sadistic hell! FUCK CSS!!!!14 -
>>>> Followed link to a post
* Do you Accept Cookies?: Yes
* Our customer supports online: Okay, I know
* Subscribe to Newsletters?: Click Click Accept
* Website wants to turn on Notification?: Okay
* Seen Our New Product?: No, not today
* We require you to be over 18?: Yes, I am
* We value your privacy?: I Agree
* Looks like you're using ad-Blocker?: Turn Off
* Don't forget to follow us on...: Okay!!! I get it already, just show me the f*cking post!
* What next
***** 1 million ads appear around a single post broken to bits having (1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 next>>) *****
Just wondering who invented this money making strategy.8 -
Everytime 🙄
Client: it's not working.
Me: what isn't
Client: the app video and link thing locator
Me: device and spec ? Like I always need
Client:iPhone
Me: yes. What one and what version of iOS
Client: urm 6s iOS 10 something
Me: great 😏 not broken for me
Client: well everyone is complaining so we need it fixed.
What can i even do now 😐7 -
People like this guy commentating are the main reason why evolution is still just a theory.
Let's take for example someone having a problem with their car not starting up.
Already seeing this guy's response would be:
"Personally I hate cars. Seems like its always they're broken. Have you just tried using your legs and run 40 kilometers to work every day?"
No I didn't you fucker, and you know why? Because it's not convenient. The same way how it's not convenient for me or any sane developer to drop to a command line and run custom query (which can be automated) every time I want to quickly check some values in development.
And no, the OP didn't ask for setup of this on production, the conversation kept on in comments below and this guy was still defending his productive idea.
26 -
-- So you like npm? Upgrade to version 5 to use its sweet features!
OK. Let's run `npm install npm@5`. Erm, my npm is now a broken mess, not finding `semver`.
-- Well, since you like npm you also will like yarn! It's just facebook's npm. So run `npm install yarn -g`
Yeah, but I wanted `npm@5` not `yarn`.
-- Then just run `yarn global add npm@5`. You then have npm@5.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
And yes, that works.5 -
I've found that suddenly and infrequently, for the past week or so, letters are missing from typed code, and I have to go back and fix them.
Now that is not super weird I guess, but as someone who tends to type quite accurately, and uses a high end mechanical keyboard...
I'm just wondering if the keyboard is broken, or if it's a brain tumor.
I've tried to test it, but every time a letter is missing I'm not actually completely sure I hit that key...
And considering the price of the keyboard, I'm also not completely sure which cause I prefer.11 -
I spent four hours just getting my dev environment working again today.
Whenever I switch branches on this project, I keep to run a script that does migrations, seed data, test db setup, static test info, etc. etc. etc. It takes 12-15 minutes to run.
Today, that script failed.
Apparently one of its steps requires running some of the project's code to produce valid objects. Makes sense. However, my ticket involves breaking a crapton of models (removing accessors) which I've already done, and then patching the behavior, which I haven't. Which means a lot of things are currently broken. Makes sense why the script fails.
However, I can't run the script on a different branch and then switch back because that simply doesn't work (for reasons), so I needed to find some workaround. I eventually did, but every attempt cost me 12 minutes.
Today was not fun, and certainly not productive.
I wonder when they're going to fire me 😅7 -
customer: "hey, feature X is broken!"
me: *asks for details
customer, one week later: "feature X contains information about Y, that *must not* be"
me: *looks at code, at git-history, at related tickets
customer, one year ago: "hey, feature X *must* contain information about Y"
me, all the time: :-|4 -
Had a 1:1 with my boss last night and together we figured out a tricky bug related to my PR. However, either my PR or that bug patch broke a tangentially-related test. Queue my usual exhaustion, and I gave up trying to fix it.
This morning, I'm looking at it and nothing makes sense. My change should not have broken the test. So I reran the controller's tests, and... they all pass?
What is logic.
Good thing, though; that test leads to a few rabbit holes I haven't even begun exploring yet.
Oh, never mind. It broke again.
Ergh, here we go. 😔11 -
That feeling of reilef and rage when you find out the crippling bug in your code is because you are passing the wrong variable and not because the function is broken.3
-
Multi-factor authentication does not mean I have a password to your site AND have to login with Google. Also, I logged in with Google, you should have my email address now.
Oh, a user with that address already exists? No shit, it's me.
Your fucking login flow is broken.5 -
Just a reminder.
If you've been coding/studying/working/dealing with shit/stressed out/mentally broken/dead from the inside/fighting for your goal and not working out and so on all year long.
Take.
A.
Fucking.
Vacation.8 -
Working on my Lenovo x1 carbon. Akku warning "less then 6%" appears. No problem, I will connect the cable just after I finished this function... "Will shutdown in a view moments" message appears. Ok, I connect the cable. Nothing happens. Maybe power adapter is broken or something more worst. Panic. Try to commit and push as fast as I can (around 2000 LOC from today, made big changes on my project today). While pushing to github laptop powers off. Fuck. Check github on smartphone to see if commits had been pushed. No. I do not have a power adapter for replacement. FML.4
-
So I just wanted to log back into windows. Typed in the password. Wrong password...
Then I tried being super accurate while typing and also checked keyboard layout, etc. Still, wrong password.
Then I noticed that the letter p is not working. Shit, keyboard seems to be broken.
On screen keyboard -> p is not working...
What the hell? What kind of error is this?
NT Kernel code has to be something like this:
if(timeSinceLastError > someValue)
keyboard.p.enable = false;
I guess you could also replace the keyboard error with some random error.
If you encounter this, restart Windows.3 -
I received a job offer as web-app developer and, in order to access the interview, I had to do an online QI test.
I login in the website and I see an ugly cluster of links, missing informations, errors at receiving the data I just inserted, a lot of bugs, broken links, images not availables, blank pages and so on.
I'm not sure I want to work there anymore6 -
About browsers and whole SSL CERT thing...
Most likely everyone here noticed, that https site with broken certificate will throw these big red warnings, in your face and there is so much wording like "ITS NOT SECUREEEE" or "ITS HACKEDDD" almost like it was written by passionate fanatic.
But when you are on plaintext http browsers reaction is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Even if you have plaintext with password, it will for example in chromium put small little red thingy that almost no one notices.
I believe that broken cert with some error like invalid date is MORE secure than plaintext password, yet still there is this hypocracy with browsers...
I dont say that broken SSL cert is good, or something, Im just pointing out contrast of "broken" https vs plain http.... One looks for casual Joe like end of the world is coming and second is bearly noticable. Da fuck?
I disagree with this approach18 -
Soo I am the only tech-guy in my family and it's a bit like:
Other: You do program?
Me: yes?
Other: pls repair my printer!
And you guys know how awful that is, aren't you? But in my family it gets tougher...
Today my older sister asked me how to save data from a broken HDD. I said I know a guy who's doing forensic on HDDs and he could make that.
She's like: "but a friend of mine said it could be done easier with software"
And yes, it is! But not that successful...
Now's the point she killed me instantly!
She said: "he opened the HDD and said the disks look fine they could be easily added to a new HDD"....
WHAT THE ACUTAL FUCK I SAID NOW YOUR DRIVE IS BROKEN FOREVER! AND THEN SHE INSULTED ME AND BLOCKED ME ON FUCKING WHATSAPP! SHE IS LEARNING WEBDESIGN WHY THE FUCK DON'T TEACH HER THE BASICS OF FUCKING COMPUTERS! Oh for fuck sakes....3 -
Not sure of devRant is broken, or there's really been no rants for an hour 🤔
So what's everyone up to?10 -
!rant
Two years ago, I started to learn Ruby on Rails so I would at last know a server language even though it wasn't the almighty PHP. Two years ago minus a few months, I decided to put my first website online with Apache and Passenger. It took me a whole six hours with stress and cries for help until I finally saw my website's homepage displayed on my screen
Today, after a few more websites (and currently 3 more projects but still not released, dang it), I tried to update mySQL to 5.7 since I need it to be able to save arrays for a future project, but everything went full shitstorm with broken packages and lame-ass-shit tutorials that make you doubt your sanity.
So I decided to backup my database and my online websites and to reinstall the whole server and take advantage of it to update the current used gems (Rails 4.2 -> 5.1, not bad)
Not only it took me just a bit more than 2 hours to redeploy the websites, but I didn't felt at the edge of panicking once, and now everything works like a charm.
I feel fucking alpha now.2 -
Looking at git blame, I think I broke a feature 8 months ago. Not obviously broken, just one of the data fields is empty in one of our calculations.
I don't know if it's better or worse that nobody noticed...11 -
So I wanted to update my visual studio. Turns out I cant because WPF (Apparently the Installers uses it) has a problem with broken fonts.
Okay. No problem I thought. I uninstalled all 720 fonts and re-registered them, filtering out the 3 broken ones. Checked the time-stamp as suggested. Everything fine. Had to reboot. (Of curse.)
Rechecked the fonts, reports as okay. Tried to start the installer BUT THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE CRASHES ON ME AGAIN WITH THE SAME FOCKING ERROR. IT DOESN'T EVENT WANT TO FUCKING TELL ME WHICH FUCKING FONT IS THE PROBLEM. I CHECKED EVERYYYY SINGLE FUCKING FONT. NOT THAT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY TO FUCKING CATCH A FUCKING FUCKER EXCEPTION IN THIS FUCKING WORLD. I mean seriously. Why would you crash on a font THAT YOU DON'T EVEN USE IN YOUR FUCKING FUCK PROGRAMM TO INSTALL YOUR FUCKING PICE OF SHIT SOFTWARE.
But, IT GETS WORSE. TURNS OUT MICKY FUCKING SOFT KNOWS ABOUT THIS FUCKING BUG SINCE TWO-FUCKING-THOUSAND-FOURTEEN.
And they didn't fixed it. Nooooooooo. THEY FUCKING WROTE A FUCKING WORKAROUND THAT DOES NOT FUCKING WORKKKKKK AND KEEP PUTTING THIS FUCKING BUG IN EVERY FUCKING INSTALLER SINCE THEN.
Can you tell I'm pissed? YES? GOOOOOOD. BECAUSE I FUCKING AM.
MICKYSOFT CAN GO AND SUCK A FUCKING APPROPRIATE THING TO SUCK IN THIS FUCKING SITUATION.
THE BEST? THEY EVEN FUCKING DARE TO ASK ABOUT MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GET MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. TOGETHER WITH A FUCKING BAG FULL OF FUCKING SHIT TO YOUR FUCKING HQ
CAN I HAVE A FUCKING STRESSBALL NOW
</rant>
3 -
Docker is funny.
I'll try to fire up docker-compose and it will freak out.
Docker Error: "Oh man! Oh man! Something is wrong! It's probably not docker it's YOUR CONTAINER!!!! WTF DUDE!!!"
Me: "Uh docker ... your little systray icon indicates docker itself is broken right now...""
Docker: "No way man, i'm sure it's your fucked up container, must be something wrong with it!!!"
Me: "I'm just gonnna restart you."
Docker: "OK but I'm just say'n th----"
-restarts docker-
-restarts docker-compose-
Docker: "OMG It's up!!!!"6 -
is it just me, or do some people just make life difficult for the fucking sake of making life difficult?
now, lets ignore the lack of sanitised data, lets also ignore the lack of prepared statements, and for the love of god... lets ignore some magic numbers, because I still don't know what they mean yet....
but why! why would you create an array, implode it, smash it into a database query on the fucking fly, instead of just adding the data into the query in the first place.... it's not like you were doing this right to begin with, but this... this is next level!
29 -
!dev sucks++
Soo, my GF who I moved to Germany for wrote that we needed to talk on Friday (today is Monday).
I was away for the weekend, and yester I asked what I could expect when I got home.
She wrote that we could hug, but not kiss...
One short phonecall later, she had broken up...
So now I will have to figure out what I will do... I don't have a home anymore (moved into her apartment), my job sucks, so nothing left...
Hold me22 -
Making electronics more difficult to repair with security fasteners and ultrasonically welded plastic nightmares and what have you.. what's the point? The argument from manufacturers is that "users don't want to get in there anyway". But, it's not like even if they could, they'd want to, right? Which type of person that doesn't know electronics very well and has an interest in repairing it would go and look at a board, and say "this is how it works, this and that is broken and this is how it should be repaired"? Not many users can repair their own devices regardless. So why? To preserve IP? Not like the Chinese bootleggers care about that. To preserve sales? Users can't repair their stuff anyway. To keep those who want to peek inside out, just for the hell of it? Anyone determined enough will be willing to break it in the process anyway.6
-
Fuck uninspired jr devs that are simply collecting a pay check.
I have been handed a project that a jr dev was allowed to wallow on for over two fucking years. This lazy mother fucker managed to create 5 functions, a whole fucking mess of bullshit that I now have to straighten out on top of the 8 other things that I have to deliver on in the next month.
They never followed requirements. Not-a-one. The API is fully broken. The DB schema is BEYOND fucked. There's ZERO validation/sanitation on I/O. The deployments only work half the fucking time. Their code is so spaghetti I'm getting triggered from when I worked at Olive Garden with Eminem. But hey, at least they were able to demo it to the client to say "it works".
I don't condone violence, but every time I find malformed if statements, linter exceptions, broken deploy configurations in this project -- I just want to kick them in their stupid fucking face.
Wherever you ended up you piece of shit, I hope your dreams of becoming a rich asshole only bring you unending despair. I believe you can make it though, because you're already halfway there.5 -
I went to get groceries yesterday, and it was raining but not hard. No big deal.
So when I pull back into the parking lot at my apartment complex, a large metal object catches my eyes.
"Holy shit I think that's a computer! I better run grab it and get inside to see if I can salvage anything!!"
So I park and run over to it. I get a few yards away from it and see what it actually was..... Someone's nasty ass broken microwave.
I got so excited and it all came crashing down after a few seconds7 -
Nightmare IRL:
Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.
You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.
Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.
Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.
PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"
FML6 -
Hmm internet connection is down. Check isp status page...no issues. Wait 50mins on phone to get to support, where they tell me there is a known issue, reported 4 hours ago. After call check isp status page...no issues
Is AWS selling status pages as a service now?5 -
Tiny little line of random JS code.
"No Comments in the code"
Me: I think this is not required, let me remove it.
"Deletes the line..."
*Entire App Breaks*
Me: OK, It must be important.
"Cmd + Z"
*Plot twist: The APP is still broken*
Guess who just needs to stay up late in office.1 -
Public CSS discord: "Oh, awesome thanks, man! No need to apologize, I'll check the code. I DM'd you."
DM: Total meltdown cry baby freak-out... "Oh yeah... well, if the code is broken - then why does my repo have 63 stars? I think I'd know if my code didn't work - it must be your computer. Why won't you let me team-viewer into your computer and see your screen? I don't care about your personal information. It's made with React, not CSS. I thought you would be helpful - but you're not at all. You aren't professional..."
Uh... (I can see the code... team-viewer isn't going to help you... and I'm at work... and I already spent 15 minutes helping you - you fucking prick)
13 -
Cengage get your shit together.
I'm paying $200 fucking dollars to use your online learning platforms, not actually fucking work. As in don't freeze for 5 seconds after I type 2 letters into your search bar.
Oh and BlackBoard you like of shit. Your text boxes are absolutely fucking broken. Thank God we're ditching you, you pile of shit.7 -
In my day off I was eager to try overclocking in my pc and this is how it went:
- Fucked up overclocking parameters for cpu and ram speed.
- BIOS is broken, had to take out gpu to do a reset taking out the bios battery.
- BIOS is up again, default values loaded, bla bla
- Did not try to fuck off anymoar with overclocking, just kept playing star wars and went to sleep safe and sound like a baby.
- Gotta work now. docker does not start, closes itself after tried to start, docker panic, I panic, tried to uninstall, tried to update. nothing works
- Then I remember bios default values leaves virtualization off. enables it again, docker still not working. I panic again, restarted pc like 10 times between disabling/enabling hyper-v in windows.
- Docker dies. not gonna change my overclock options again. silly me 🤦♂️9 -
Beta version... only devs have access
Screen for a not-ready-yet feature:
A nice image of a faded broken structure, underlined with a "Work in progress" text.
Primary button below "I want it now"
/clicks button
next to the button, a text fades in:
"Please, be patient"
You keep clicking "I want it now", after a few clicks you get "Plese, be **very** patient"
/Checks the source code
it bloody adds a "very" for every 5 clicks and calls an API to send you an email for every 5 clicks:
Thanks for very {n times very} much wanting {feature name}
11 clicks = 3 emails with very, very very and very very very
Yep, I am patient now, especially if I get my hands on you...3 -
A Gentoo installation might be fun, but it sure as hell isn't worth it, both in time and effort. Broken audio, broken video, broken stability. A broken kernel that doesn't recognize the hard drive or the network interface. And half a week to compile the fucking thing and it's still not done. This is not the right distribution for me.2
-
“I sent a document to print but it hasn't come out... I think the printer might be broken”
NO! The printer is not BROKEN just because you can’t print. You see that person over there at the printer? Yes, that one collecting their print job now? THE PRINTER IS NOT BROKEN! -
I can only imagine what goes through clients’ tiny brains. Do they really think: “oh I know what will get shit done, insult the developer, his work, and demand things be fixed while saying the whole system is broken even though they have multiple times in the past demonstrated that it was either me using it wrong or an extremely quick and simple fix. I also have a problem with a few listed items in particular not the whole system, but I’m gonna insult everything.”
Fucking rude fucks! -
Me: We shouldn't change anything in the design if its not broken.
Also Me:
I regret being a designer
7 -
User: "My computer is broken!"
Me: "What seems to be the problem?"
User: "I can't go to any websites."
Me: "It appears our connection to the internet is down."
User: "No it's not, look" *points to Wi-Fi status*
Me:
3 -
Project manager, who i've complained in the past is neglecting critical things that he doesn't want to do, decided today to cancel our weekly planning meeting, to have the below conversation with me 1:1. Its very long, but anyone who has the will to get through it ... please tell me it's not just me. I'm so bewildered and angry.
Side note: His solution to the planning meeting not taking place ... to just not have one and asked everyone to figure it out themselves offline, with no guidance on priorities.
Conversation:
PM: I need to talk to you about some of phrasing you use during collaboration. It's coming across slightly offensive, or angry or something like that.
Me: ok, can you give me an example?
PM: The ticket I opened yesterday, where you closed it with a comment something along the lines of "as discussed several times before, this is an issue with library X, can't be fixed until Y ...".
"As discussed several times" comes across aggressive.
Me: Ok, fair enough, I get quite frustrated when we are under a crunch, working long hours, and I have to keep debugging or responding to the same tickets over and over. I mean, like we do need to solve this problem, I don't think its fair that we just keep ignoring this.
PM: See this is the problem, you never told me.
Me: ... told you what?
PM: That this is a known issue and not to test it.
Me: ..... i'm sorry ..... I did, that was the comment, this is the 4th ticket i've closed about it.
PM: Right but when you sent me this app, you never said "don't test this".
Me: But I told you that, the last 3 times that it won't be in until feature X, which you know is next month.
PM: No, you need to tell me on each internal release what not to test.
Me: But we release multiple times per week internally. Do you really need me to write a big list of "still broken, still broken, still broken, still broken"?
PM: Yes, how else will I know?
Me: This is documented, the last QA contractor we had work for us, wrote a lot of this down. Its in other tickets that are still open, or notes on test cases etc. You were tagged in all of these too. Can you not read those? and not test them unless I say I've fixed them?
PM: No, i'm only filling for QA until we hire a full time. Thats QA's job to read those and maintain those documents.
Me: So you want me to document for you every single release, whats already documented in a different place?
PM: ok we'll come back to this. Speaking of hiring QA. You left a comment on the excel spreadsheet questioning my decision, publicly, thats not ok.
Me: When I asked why my top pick was rejected?
PM: Yes. Its great that you are involved in this, but I have to work closely with this person and I said no, is that not enough?
Me: Well you asked me to participate, reviewing resumes's and interviewing people. And I also have to work extremely close with this person.
PM: Are you doubting my ability to interview or filter people?
Me: ..... well a little bit yeah. You asked me to interview your top pick after you interviewed her and thought she was great. She was very under qualified. And the second resume you picked was missing 50% of the requirements we asked for ... given those two didn't go well, I do think its fair to ask why my top pick was rejected? ... even just to know the reason?
PM: Could you not have asked publicly? face to face?
Me: you tagged me on a google sheet, asking me to review a resume, and rather than tag you back on 2 rows below ... you want me to wait 4 days to ask you at our next face to face? (which you just cancelled for this meeting)
PM: That would have been more appropriate
Me: ..... i'm sorry, i don't want to be rude but thats ridiculous and very nit pick-y. You asked my opinion on one row, I asked yours on another. To say theres anything wrong with that is ridiculous
PM: Well we are going to call another team meeting and discuss all this face to face then, because this isn't working. We need to jump to this other call now, lets leave it here.5 -
Honestly, fuck Lenovo.
First it's taken well over a year and my phone's not gotten 8.0 yet. And now my phone no longer vibrates. I've had this for less than a year and the piece of shit has broken already.
Last time I'm giving this trash excuse of a company my money.21 -
Want to be likeable or get your way through people?
No need to sell ice cream, just validate those insecure souls.
Wide majority does not want their fragile bubble to be broken even if they are suffocating within.
All they seek is validation. That's fucking it. That's the secret.
If someone asks you for some opinion or support, most of the time they are just want to hear how great their mediocre thought process is.
Someone's lack of ability accept criticism and grow is the sole reason they are stuck in quicksand situation and only drowning further.
An unethical social skill but this will take you a long way and also help you stay sane from the insecure narcissistic scums by avoiding toxic interaction.
JUST VALIDATE THEM.27 -
(As a freelancer I was asked to do a couple of tasks on legacy code)
Let’s check this code, how bad can it be?
- all of the following: unreadable mess, no auto linting
- tests: some are there cause there’s not enough automation, others are poorly named
- frontend: somehow a genius made a react component for every variable in the store which only passes the variable to the child (wtf)
- backend: death by best practices
- ci/cd: “we have it but it’s broken”
Let’s fucking goooo 😎
Diagnosis: my therapist is getting rich
Chances to not cry tonight: close to zero
At least they pay well 🤷♂️5 -
Actually I feel I am prety lucky about the relationship between my yamily and me being a dev. My dad is a developer as well (in fact, he was the one who taught me most of what I know today; not as in general coding, but good and bad programming practices, tips what to do next ...) and my mom just started learning Python.
So they know prety well what it means to be a dev and have quite realistic image of what to expect.
To be fair, I am still the one who usualy fixes broken printers and replugs unplugged ethernet cables. but that is because I enjoy doing that. I take it as a challenge for myself to figure out what/how/when went something wrong. Most of the times I try to figure that even without touching the broken things.
Anyway, getting off topic.
Alltogether I don't think that they have too unrealistic expectations, but if I had to chose one, it'd be my learning capabilities. I can't learn complete java in 2 days ...1 -
This just happened....
Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>
Checked all the logs eh?
3 -
Fuck this shit, I'm done, mentally broken. I am trying to setup some basic Java project using buck. Their build times looked super promising and I wanted to migrate my multi module maven project to it.
I am currently working on it for FIVE hours now. And this fucking piece of SHIT doesn't work as I want it to. WTF FACEBOOK, IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE PROPER DOCUMENTATION THAT IS NOT OUT OF DATE?! People warned me, I ignored them. FML.
The time I used to try to get the repo working could have been used to build the project 250 times -.-3 -
It's 0416... Too damn early to fix broken things. This particular team needs to fix their stuff for good, not keep having us out bandaids on their problems2
-
I don't know if I should cry or laugh...
Our CMS is a CMS as a Service. So, our providers, for me they all suck, everytime they make a development, everything breaks.
Today's flash news?
Well, basically any page containing some user-made dynamic objects are **empty**
But not only on our site, on their whole network of clients that use their CMS. Everything is broken.
They release new features (I should call them bugs rather) every week, and yesterday's update concerned these pages.
And for the record, they don't test. They wait that we come back and complain to see if their shitty development worked or did not.
This CMS is even worse than your first project in HTML - I mean, your first word document on your mama's computer when you were 3.
Seriously. What kind of non-quality is this?8 -
Team: * hands over release to QA
QA: Release broken. It doesn't load any entries from the test system.
Me: Not possible. It works perfectly fine in our environment and we haven't touched that logic in weeks.
A couple of days later...
QA: It seems that we accidentally deleted all the entries from our environment. We'll apply a backup.
Team, clients, air wasted to keep these people alive:
5 -
Not really a rant, more a proud of myself moment but the custom IVR software I built is now getting 20k calls a day and hasn't broken........
........yet4 -
I love one particular old game. It's called Port Royale (the first one). Why? Because the game crashes a lot. Players know that, devs knew that. It's so old and unknown to people who haven't played that devs don't even fix it. But, but... why do you write it here?
This game tought me autosaving! Yeah, they have autosaving in [5, 10, 15] minute intervals, but the game is so fast, that even a little change you do will cripple your whole economy. Not to mention the saving mechanism is partially broken (or that's what the log says, fml). By broken I mean it tries to autosave, but sometimes it crashes the whole thing, just because it can. A game with special effects - crashing in _intervals_!
Because of this lovely game I have a habit of saving and staging (or even commiting). Maybe they should be proud for making such a bug. Saved me once again a minute ago when I managed to crash Emacs with Python. :D1 -
Goes back to high school.....
Me: This laptop is having issues logging into the network. I have tried restarting as well as restarting the WiFi. You probally should submit a ticket so IT knows it is broken.
Teacher: They would not fix it anyway.
Me: *facepalm*
TL;DR: Teacher thinks that telling IT to fix a computer would result in nothing happening.1 -
Is it just me or are image uploads broken? Whenever I attach a png file pressing the "Post" button does nothing. Text alone submits fine, so it's not because of my dumpster fire of a text.
It seems now I gotta rant about my failed attempt to post another rant because I'm in a ranting rant mood.23 -
WE TEST ON THE STAGING SITE. I DON'T BUST MY ASS WITH A SEPARATE STAGING API AND HTTPS://STAGING.WHATEVERTHEFUCKYOUWANTOBUILD.COM/..., SO THAT YOU CAN MESSAGE ME THAT NOTHING IS WORKING. THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ON THE STAGING SITE. IF I HAVE TO REMIND YOU AGAIN, I AM NEVER TALKING TO A NON TECHNICAL PERSON AGAIN
THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME. ITS LITERALLY LIKE A BROKEN RECORD SO WHY DO I EXPECT ANYTHING TO CHANGE, EVERY CLIENT IS THE SAME, EVERY TIME, GOD I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP4 -
There is this project where the develop branch is "discontinued" because this moron "finished" a feature that is all fucking broken and I could not figure out how to solve all those merge conflicts...
I just gave up and told my stupid boss who just nods and laughs at everything... If it ever comes up I'm gonna tell them to get the fucker to solve it.1 -
Well what an adventure with this SSD...😑
my sis' laptop is from 2013-ish(?) and has/had a slow HDD in it. I wanted to speed it up, before her study, so I bought a new internal SSD (no new laptop wanted).
Created a bootable USB, exchanged the hard drives and install the OS on it. Seems easy enough...
The laptop restarts to finish its process ... laptop shuts down immediately, no warning whatsoever. 😳🤨
Start it up, loading screen, fan gets louder and louder ... instant shut down.😳🤨🤨.
Redo process, this time landing on blue-screen, error code critical process died? ... instant shut down again.🤔
Restart from old HDD, normal.😐
Retry with boot USB and reinstall SSD. Setup process copying files, meanwhile instant shut down.😳 Please don't tell me!😩 Since every part of the laptop was working, except the new inserted SSD, I thought "FUCK not a broken SSD!😣"
I had my own PC with internal SSD slot, so tried to find out, whether it would be broken...
All starting up fine??🤨🤨
Ok then? Finish the setup for the third time now ... everything up and running.😐🤷
Normal shut down, unplug, plug back onto laptop, it works. HOW?? WHY?? 😕
Why the fuck are you suddenly working? 😐🤷🤷🤷
That's some magic...5 -
>"Maybe I should start upgrading to CakePHP4"
>*dependency hell*
>*solves dependency hell after 6 hours*
>"Finally I can get to work"
>*App has broken all over the place due to app not properly showing deprecations beforehand*
"Motherfuckers"2 -
Ranting to the wife about 3rd party API authors and how they have broken them from time to time.
On any given URI, it should give me a certain image, some give me a simple error string "Error downloading file" - nothing I can do to fix on my side, the error indicates they were not able to retrieve from their sources.
W: you should check the settings! *... series of unusual suggestions follow*.
Me: Yes, dear. Good ideas. -
Adding "my house manager is a bitch" to the pile of ongoing issues.
My studio is right in front of the courtyard. Which means students partying and I don't get any sleep. So this morning I asked her if I could swap places with another student. She is a broken record. "It's not allowed" is all I hear from her every time regardless of whatever I ask. And as she says, there are new rules and I am not allowed to get a new contract within the same fuckin building. Her own daughter lives in the quiet area, so like, what's with the double standard?
She's lying and I know that. I asked her to put me in touch with her bosses or "owners" as she calls them, and guess what she said; "it's not allowed" 🙄
Anyways, I don't wish her well. I'll eventually find a way out of this expensive silverfish-infested building.11 -
PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!
I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.
But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!
But it pays to be paranoid. -
No. No. And Absolutely No.
The Three Laws of Robotics MUST not be broken.
https://cnn.com/2022/11/...21 -
We were redesigning our template apps into a single one and I repeatedly said to our pm "don't get someone to merge all the old backends into a single api get them to build it up with the new front end"
They ignored me now I have to spend goodness knows how long fixing it because the requirements for the new fe are completely different and it's all broken.
Not to mention it was rushed converted from js to typescript and nothing is typed.
Its going to be a fun Monday.4 -
So a few months ago, I got a half-broken old iPhone (microphone, speaker and cameras not working) for testing purposes and it lays 99.9% of the time on my shelf turned off. Today, I turned it on and after I opened Safari, I surprised in not exactly the most pleasant way.
When I started writing in the address bar a strange suggestion from Siri came up for a website my mom searched a few hours ago on her android tablet. Like what the actual fuck?? There is absolutely 0 connection between these 2 devices, there is PiHole running on local network. The only thing that I can think of is that she is using Google (logged out) and it looks like they are actively sharing their data based on IP addresses. Wow...1 -
I'm not a dev, but I visit this site due to its overwhelming sanity. That said, I have two bests:
First: Never thought I'd say it, but having Windows as opposed to Mac has continued to keep me from going batshit cray. I liken my relationship with Mac to a marriage that started out wonderfully and wound up in a field of acrimony, broken promises, and literal hatred.
Second: This site, as mentioned above.7 -
So, by a cruel twist of fate I ended up on the front line of tech support for the app we've built. It's aimed at non-IT professionals, in general people who are not expected to know too much about computers but who should have at least two neurons to bash together in their pretty little heads.
No.
It really makes me drop my faith in humanity considerably. Clicking a confirmation link is too much. Filtering an excel sheet is too hard, despite it being their technically main work tool. Tickets are basically "shit's broken go fix". What is broken? How to reproduce it? Why do you expect the person on the other side of the screen to be a fucking diviner? I recently ran all out of dove guts to search for the answers of your questions.4 -
We use a third party paid company to produce a service and give ongoing support for it, which all our revenue streams depend upon. They are shit and their service is shit. Here's how my conversation about testing went today.
Me: 'hey X wrote an integration test project for the service. It shows the service is broken 50% of the time. We should give their team access to it and have them run it as part of CI'
Colleague: 'They are too shit to setup CI'
PM: 'we are stuck with them so there is no point. It is what it is'
Boss: just ignores me. Not even a reply.
Some days later
Head of QA: 'Hey Dev and QA are broken'
Me: 'because their service is broken. I made so and so suggestion before but it was rejected. We will just have to accept Dev and QA are broken 50% of the time'
Head of QA: 'no we cant'
Me: 'ok so we should setup the tests to run by giving them access'
Head of QA: 'No we shouldn't. The tests can only be used by us and if they break it tells us so we can act on it, or choose not to'
Me: 'We would not want to act immediately on all our revenue streams breaking? Yes we can reverse engineer their client and fix errors as they occur, or we could just have them run the tests and a team our company pays for can stop adding breaking changes to their own API every other day. Right now it has been broken for 2 weeks.'
Head of QA: 'in an ideal world we would have an internal team so you're wrong'
Me: :)
I really don't understand how they can come to such a conclusion. Am I missing something or am I surrounded by total fucking idiots?2 -
Follow-up on yesterday's rant.
Boss hired dev-ops team to restore data from the broken server image. They said it may be completely impossible. Which will probably make clients want to kill us considering it's an government agency.
I wonder how large the contractual penalties will be considering they are almost completely incapable of working without the system and it's going to be few days until anything will be fixed.
Oh well, since no one bothers me it seems it's currently not my problem and I'm free to code ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
I have successfully achieved the developers nightmare.
Eating with siblings at the table yesterday and found the printer to be broken, again. Okay, easy fix, I thought; connect it back to the WiFi and its good.
My mom asks to teach her how to fix it, but it was too late because I already did. But then there was my younger brother. He says “Ask Gerry, he is the printer guy.” (No, Gerry is not my real name)
I didn’t take it too hard but I did joke with him by fake attempting to punch him. I think he got the point.😂1 -
Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.
Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.
On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.
Disassembled everything and took another look.
😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"
*Scratche it with tweezers
*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves
😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?
What the heck
14 -
What time do you get up on work days? I'm starting to think I should have me time in morning (reading, learning, coding my own things) before going to work.
I've think I've come the the conclusion that this job/team is sorta chaotic and tedious and there's no skill growth. Not learning anything new. Usually just something broken, integrate some new feature, build something that I've already built before but differently for this specific case. Nothing fun or challenging, or new.
And also tired of trying to be a "role model", make things right. I tend to like to keep things orderly, documented, well tested and clean but everyone else seems to just bulldoze their way to get whatever they need, leaving a mess behind... It's been like 2yrs already but the technical debt seems to be growing not shrinking...17 -
I swear to God, Days i feel stupid i Look at my PM's code changes and laugh.
What kind of Fuck Tard creates an api call just to return JSON(true)
And to top it off I pulled the latest after his poisonous stench was added and gave me a broken build!
Serious! D ass clown put in a variable with the same name twice, does this buck not build before he commits?
Im starting to believe that this is a hidden camera show where they pulled a fucking mental patient out fking looney toon land and gave him a PM job in a tech company!5 -
How on earth are there people in their second year of a computer science course who are unable to understand how to read build errors. It's honestly not that hard, just look at the fucking build log and see where the error is and what type of error it is, but yet they don't bother reading the log and say that their "compiler is broken" when their 5 line code won't work.
If this was still first year I'd understand since many of the class didn't have much programming knowledge, but if you're in your second year and you struggle with this (that too for a Hello World script) it looks like you aren't even bothered and just expect the computer to magically understand what you mean.3 -
php's type hints are completely broken.
Why is strict mode not the default? Why does it completely break down for arrays? (You have to abuse phpdocs to get any meaningful hints but you still lose any runtime checks.) What's with union types? (I know, php8 now has them but what took you so long.)2 -
I just created an Oracle account just to comment on a mysql bug report in order to inform people to use mariadb as a fix ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
^w should delete back a word, not to the beginning of the line! This is broken because instead of readline, Oracle's mysql-client uses editline.
Yet why the fuck do you compile mysql-client with editLine wrapper that breaks the common keybindings?
Licenses is why. Oracle wants to avoid using GNU GPL, and readline uses just that, so they use editline since it has BSD. And they just don't seem to give a damn if it breaks usability.1 -
You want to change the wifi network to which is your embedded device connected?
It's easy:
- The native process is broken
- ESP is in the correct state, but refuse to communicate with anything
- Restore to default doesn't work
- Flashing default firmware doesn't help
- download the whole NodeJS/NPM
- compile two perl binaries
- bump into 2 year old bug, that your Intel wifi won't connect to the ESP SoftAP
- reinstall the Intel driver, just to find out it's still not fixed
- connect the external Atheros wifi adapter
- connect that shit back to the cloud
And just after little under 4 days of fiddling with GPIO pins it finally works and communicates.2 -
Fucking MikTex.
Apparently this software got stuck somewhere back in the nineties. Got a fresh installation to make sure issues were not arising from outdated hardware - still connection errors, API errors, horrible, unresponsive and ugly UI, what a broken piece of ****.7 -
It's been broken in production for two weeks, and you want to tell me it's "drop everything urgent" now? Is it important? Yes. Is it urgent? No.
Also, how the fuck did you not know this was broken for two weeks, and what the hell do you want me to do about it now? It's your codebase, it passed all the tests in staging AFTER I made my changes to the infrastructure.1 -
Comment on a code review:
How does this relate to the task?
Me:
Most of the changes have nothing to do with the task, but half of the code & build system was either wrong, broken or not following best practices. This particular change is because something was broken.3 -
Who the hell invented this industry where smartest individuals are being evaluated by those who didn't understood technology well enough and moved to management (it's usual scenario, though there are exceptions)?
Can you imagine surgeon performance/quality being evaluated by some clerk who may or may not had studied medicine earlier, but wasn't good enough to become surgeon itself so ended up in hospital administration.
Or can you imagine bridge engineer having his/her performance/quality evaluated by someone who had built bicycle shed 5 years ago?
Damn, yet in software industry it's pretty normal.
(Don't confuse management with performance evaluation. I know management have different scope and duties, but idea that management does the performance evaluation is so damn broken.)6 -
!rant
Who do I have to murder or pleasure to get this at home not only in my cloud system
Gif is broken so here is a link http://i.haazen.xyz/U5YrvCqF.gif
6 -
I was sick the entire week, told my boss about it. I was really enthusiastic about the work and also didn't want to let other people down, so I went, even though I didn't have to.
Today this asshole screams at me for being late and goes on about the broken trust between us etc.
This motherfucker. I showed up, for a whole week, in pain, despite not having to do so. I had to punch the bathroom walls for ten minutes in order to get rid of all the anger.
TL;DR:
Never do more than required, it will absolutely come back to hit you.5 -
I think VS code is the only product from Microsoft which is not broken like I'm writing in it and it feels good. Extensions are great, integration with git is also really good and debuger isn't complete bullshit. I had Sublime before but I switched it to VS code just to try it and I'm keeping it.
I know it isn't lightweight like other editors but fuck it... VS code is great
What are you using to code?3 -
Customer give me a broken iPad. The screen was pink or green with a not wanted 3D effect. Solution? Just kick it on the back side where the the screen connector is. That’s a so funny solution 🤣
-
Tried to fix my Logitech gaming mouse. well it's not more broken it's very slightly less broken. It powers up for a moment2
-
I am so fucking tired of sitting here all day every day adjusting paddings and margins. Oh fucking hurr durr you got one of the millions of fucking elements to not overflow on your page, well does it work on *this* resolution and *this* orientation? No, well fix that and then go back and fix what it breaks.
I swear to God I never want to touch fucking CSS again it's all I've done for a yesr and it is driving me up the god damn wall. This is my career, I shouldn't fucking dread coming in to work because I know how much bullshit I'll have to deal with. It's awful.
I don't get how anyone has good looking complicated pages that just look good on every possible resolution, it's fucking mind boggling that anyone can sit there and adjust heights and widths and paddings and margins and floats for hours on end nonstop just watching shit get broken and fixed and broken and fixed and AHHHHH
I need a fucking smoke and a pint just so I don't have to think about this anymore13 -
Last saturday, the CEO forced us to update one of the services that we are dependent out without any tests... The people responsible for it very much advised against it but they still did it.
Now, nearly a week later. The literal core feature is still broken with no fix in sight and rolling back is not possible apparently.5 -
Why the heck does every big "giant" wants to promote their own framework? It almost feels like politics of the tech industry. It's not about using the "best", but using "our own". Everyone wants to claim their territory however ridiculously small and unimportant it is. So, I'll have to replace Bootstrap with some framework client designated after completing the project, and see what will be broken.
The good thing about working in an agency is you get to work on such a variety of projects, which can also be the fucking damn thing. Heck I'm not looking to work in an agency for my next job.2 -
Looking through code, discovered a front end plugin wasn't activating right on a form input. Go look at the code, intern commented it out and wrote a comment saying "This didn't work and I didn't know how to fix it. So I turned it off." If you don't know, then ask. Don't leave it broken and not tell anyone! I am so glad this kid is gone. I really hope he doesn't come back after term.1
-
I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.2 -
I hate it that I'm still forced to use Ubuntu 16.04 and can't upgrade to bionic beaver.tried it on vm (for testing)loved new features and default gnome interface but even after switching to xorg most of my tool were still not running properly or crashing, most important factor is that there is still no official cuda support and installing gcc g++ 6 and symlinks are nerve racking. On top of that upgrading to 18.04 LTS on my main machine will leave me with broken packages and dependencies.
p.s. for people who are going to reply saying that these issue can be solved. Please try updating your work machine and spend hours fix these issues1 -
Why the fuck is the master almost constantly broken? And not even "some feature I'm working on doesn't work"-broken but "can't build this shit"-broken. What the fuck is the workflow here that it's apparently acceptable? I wasn't able to do SHIT today because of it. Almost whole fucking day wasted.3
-
IPMI...
2010....
Java Web...
Oracle JDK needed....
Oracle JDK Download requires Oracle Account..... To circumvent as I don't want a motherfugging shitty oracle account tons of googling and loading shit from not so trustful pages.
TLS 1.0 and WebJDK require Internet Explorer.....
And an even older version of Oracle JDK 8....
Broken keyboard input....
As on Laptop for Windows / Internet Explorer additionally struggling with keyboard...
Mounting SMB Share requires password change, as my password contains invalid characters....
Finally getting shit to load GParted...
Taking fucking ages to load.
Broken keyboard input, no pasting.....
Chrooting / input becomes a 15 min exercise.
Actual input necessary on chroot: 1 command.
Actual time needed to get there : 2 1/2 h.
*sigh*
When that one old machine dies noone was aware of. And this one old machine is only accessible via an IPMI... As noone even knows where that machine is.
Weekend dead. Weekend is so fucking dead and overrated.2 -
From an actual job posting I found this morning
**software performs as documented and it can not be broken once it gets into the hand of the customer**
I_AM_NOT_GOD!!!
(but if I were you would have to pay me better)
2 -
Ever tried to do something “simple” and it ended up taking several days and a piece of your sanity?
Trying to connect my website to a blog site made with Hexo has been that for me.
I am actively trying to not think about the fact that my live website is so horrendously broken.
Dying inside.3 -
Sometimes I sit and stare at my broken code and think "Is this it? Is now the time that I have actually encountered a real problem that has no google-able solutions? Is this a bug with the framework I'm using? Surely not."
and After sometime of increasing the squint in my eyes and decreasing the distance between the monitor and my face... I realise that it was a spelling mistake causing the issue. -
Tl;dr: I'm a shitty PHP programmer, but even a shittier JS programmer.
I made a whole image upload system which has an elaborate login/sign up facility, checks the dimensions of an image, it's size, checks if it's broken, compares it to previous uploads to prevent duplicates, take comments, sorts them per user and stores it efficiently in a db and accesses it using PDO, not mySQL, displays it as a gallery, and even lets the users transfer images amongst them.
But I can't make a simple shopping cart in js.
Why? Just, why?3 -
make dumbass solution duplicating code because you can't figure out how to do it correctly
nobody corrects you on code review
later somebody on another team has their stuff broken because of you and kindly offers to hopefully fix and not break what you got out of it3 -
Background: Process issue in the plant that the workers said was a software problem. I’m a Software Dev Manager
Exec: This is broken and it is a software problem. We just noticed it this week.
Me: Couldn’t have been us, relevant code was changed this time last year. Sounds like a process issue.
Exec: Can you give me an exact date it was changed last year?
Me: (Seriously, WTF?... checks git...) It was changed on December 2nd, 2016. Couldn’t have been us.
Exec: Can you detail that change for us?
Me: (GTFO) No, not my problem, stop trying to make it my problem.1 -
So I removed all the Eclipse crap from the repository (.settings, .project, etc), add those to the .gitignore, commit and push. The next thing happened is my co-worker found that broken his copy of the code as on Eclipse. That's expected. I told him it's justified to get rid of IDE specific stuff from the repo. All he needed is to set up the project again on his Eclipse.
...
...
...
And he didn't know how to do it.
...
...
...
I helped him out. Wasted 15 min. It shouldn't take that long if I did not try to explain along the way.
I feel like fixing printer.5 -
So some notification types are broken again (at least ++ notifs are not), ++ counts don't update again, search finds next to nothing, and the weekly doesn't work properly either (I saw wk288 topic once but can't find it anywhere now).
It still works better than the thing I'm currently dealing with.10 -
Family... I respond with song title:
Boulevard of broken dreams.
Our paths don’t cross anymore. I don’t know why. I don’t want anything from them cause I know the consequences (maybe that’s why). I am not missing them and they’re not missing me so I think it’s a win win situation.1 -
Eyes are wet ..heart is broken ..
not because of love..
When someone tell your code is not good
it hurts deep inside when programming is your passion :(5 -
"Our app needs a barcode scanner"
Fair enough, let's do this!
Android implementation using Zxing: 3 days. Ios: 9 days...
1. Dev iPhone has a subtle hw defect that doesn't let it connect to the computer anymore...
2. Our app-framework doesn't have a proper plugin for ios barcode scanners yet.
3. The first barcodescanner implementation is completely broken
4. Swift is not possible because of conflicting framework plugins
5. Build a plugin from scratch, using zxing objective c port.
6. Build problems with main app.
7. Fuck my life2 -
WHY NEXTCLOUD, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING COMPLICATED TO UPGRADE YOU TO THE LATEST VERSION??????
NOT ONLY DID THE DATABASE MIGRATIONS NOT RUN, YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE UPDATED VERSION OF THE FUCKING AUTHENTICATTION PROCESSOR IN THE OFFICIAL SERVER DOWNLOAD SO THE WHOLE THING WAS BROKEN AFTERWARDS.
I'VE WASTED 4 HOURS ON THIS FUCKING UPGRADE 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤4 -
Backend : *breaks feature in prod by changing api*
Me: Feature is broken in prod. Please fix. I was told that the API will not deprecate the old use case.
Backend: ... Fixing it in the backend will take time. Add support for it in the frontend.
Me: I'm not done with the new feature just yet. And it will take some time to have it reviewed and fully tested. Please fix the API.
Backend: .... Well, make a new PR and add support for it first. The new feature can come later.
Me. (-_-) Okay
Sometimes it feels like I'm a code janitor rather than a frontend intern2 -
receive multi year old confused bug/feature request from a former CEO
why
are there not other people who can immediately answer the questions instead of playing broken telephone when it arrives to me, to go find them
do you not have better things to do with your time and other directional priorities for the company or should i really muck around this low priority thing?
i guess i just lack the CEO M I N D S E T, also the compensation package1 -
what the fk how hard can it be to have a working version of the software on the master/ ros-version branch? Why is this thing always broken?! HOW?!
Had to update today unfortunately, and man, I have been "installing" this shit for over 3 hours now. Use the .install they said. It will be fast they said. Ye sure, my ass. The Dependencies are broken and incomplete as always and the tutorial is not up to date. Big suprise. I get it, it's a lot of work to keep these things up to date. But please if they are this broken and incomplete why are they released in the first place.
And then they wonder why I don't manage to do my work on time. Yeah, cause I'm stuck debugging this shit <.<'1 -
I'm at DreamHack Dallas, and I just saw a guy at his booth open Unity, fix a bug, and rebuild the game.
No judgment from me brah, I get it,
but it is nice not to be my broken demo for a change.2 -
So I installed a new Linux distro, and since the DE is Gnome, I wanted to spice things up with a Conky file.
I download my conky theme, extract it, and try to run it.
And it's broken.
Apparently, the Conky development team decided it would be a great idea to switch over to an ENTIRELY FUCKING NEW SYNTAX, LEAVING EVERY CONKY THEME WRITTEN BEFORE AUTUMN THIS YEAR USELESS
Oh, no biggie, I think. After all, the development did very graciously publish a Lua file to convert old conky configs to the new syntax.
Except no.
The file used to convert conky configs uses the old loadstring function, for which support was dropped in Lua 5.4
So not only did Conky make every config written earlier than this Autumn obsolete, the FUCKING TOOL THEY DEVELOPED TO HELP WITH THAT IS ALSO FUCKING BROKEN
Fuck Conky. I wasted 2 hours screwing with this broken-ass piece of shit3 -
So my day started well.
I come in an the DVR monitor is not working, ok lets turn it off and on, nope. Lets turn the DVR on and off, nope still nothing. Played around with the VGA cable, nope. I cant replace the cable because its hard wired into the monitor....
I grab the spare screen next to me and connect it all up and it works!
Boss tells me to throw "broken" monitor out, I say I want to test it just to make sure, connect it all up to my pc and now it fucking works!
There are days I hate technology....1 -
Could access every website but github.com “all of a sudden”...exp stopped working npm was broken...macs are so stupid then.....
I dumbed....it was all my fault. </duh>
Yesterday I blocked my kids’ access to the internet .. and just blocked the IP4 access of my mac. What a genius. It appears github (and not other sites) requires IP4 whereas most now use IP6. -
When will people understand? I am a developer, not a system administrator.
Nobody would ask an F1 pilot to fix a broken rave car!1 -
Just found out the reason for these extremely useless "Script error." errors we're getting being so useless is, once again, CORS. 😡
"Hey, something went wrong in an iframe. I'm not allowed to tell you what went wrong, or where, but trust me some shit is broken *somewhere*. But you have to figure it out yourself."
If cross-origin blocking were a person I'd kick him in the nuts just for being such a fucking dick all the time.2 -
I'm not sure if this should be a joke or random, but the SBB train info screen in St. Gallen on platform 5 just decided to interpret the data given a bit differently than intended.
It is not broken and no other screen has that problem. What could it be, I wonder. But I don't care enouht to post it as a question.
I guess random would have been more appropriate.
14 -
can we just get rid of floating points? or at least make it quite clear that they are almost certainly not to be used.
yes, they have some interesting properties that make them good for special tasks like raytracing and very special forms of math. but for most stuff, storing as much smaller increments and dividing at the end (ie. don't store money as 23.45. store as 2,345. the math is the same. implement display logic when showing it.) works for almost all tasks.
floating point math is broken! and most people who really, truely actually need it can explain why, which bits do what, and how to avoid rounding errors or why they are not significant to their task.
or better yet can we design a standard complex number system to handle repeating divisions and then it won't be an issue?
footnote: (I may not be perfectly accurate here. please correct if you know more)
much like 1/3 (0.3333333...) in base 10 repeats forever, that happens with 0.1 in base 2 because of how floats store things.
this, among other reasons, is why 0.1+0.2 returns 0.300000046 -
My favorite PEBKAC encounter:
Was showing a user how to run some reports in our web app, and told her to click on the Reports button. She clicks on it but nothing happens. I start panicking in my head of course, like wtf could have broken to cause the page not to load??? Finally, I realize she pressed down on the mouse button but never released it. PEBMAC?1 -
If the website layout is all broken and looks bad - it’s your fault. You can’t claim “I’m not a visual designer.” No one cares about how slick your MVC style is.3
-
Quick question/update over a previous rant.
My netbook battery status was always 100% on Lubuntu 18.10, I switched to Xubuntu and the same happens, but it reports correctly with Puppy Linux (old version). I thought the problem was in the battery itself, but now I think it's due to some broken drivers in newer version of Debian-based distros, or it is a bug in newer Linux kernel. But since I have no time to spend on a spare netbook, I'm not willing to test more options.
Anyone has a clue? 🤔
https://devrant.com/rants/1879180/...3 -
Don't fix what ain't broken.
Alright.. that might not be 100% what need to be done at times, as other out-of-scope things tend to break these things too.
Nevertheless, if you fix what ain't broken,be sure to have it working before you switch over. -
OK trust me, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO. NOT. TRY TO DO ANYTHING ON A COMPUTER WHEN YOU HAVE SMALLER SIBLINGS, my baby brother has broken my PC monitor, my laptop screen, my phone, and hell, I'm desperate to the point of jailbreaking my Nintendo switch, witch he almost broke already, I'm typing this on my school laptop BTW.9
-
I gotta let this out. I apologize..
Why the FUUUCK does MySQL not let me log into my FUCNING ROOT USER AND THE OTHER USER I MADE...
I thought i fixed it a few days ago, but apparently not. Now im considering trashing this shitproject for a while.
*insert awesome words that illustrate extreme rage and a broken keyboard*9 -
So everyone is talking about those Greek sign pranks right? But I got something just as bad (I haven't used it as a prank but I've just encountered it on my own -> pranked my self)
So on Mac OS you can type this character with ALT+Space and it looks like a space, but it isn't. If you don't have render whitespaces on you would never know that it is not a space... Imagine the time you can spend on finding that xD you mistyped 1character and BAM broken xD5 -
Request: My WordPress website, with over 40 plugins active, some of which do the same thing, but I want to keep them all active, because fuck logic is not loading fast enough. Please fix it!
Response: Kill it with fire and buld it from scratch. Use an optimized, custom solution, tailored to your exact needs. The time needed is the same as trying to fix your broken WordPress...
Reaction: WTF? Everybody is using WordPress, that means it's the best! Why would I build my custom website on a fast and easy to maintain custom platform, optimized for my needs? Fix my loading speed!
Response 2: *facepalm*4 -
Fuck this shit! We had bug on website when tinymce was showing broken tables and could not save them correctly. So, the first thing you think about is tinymce is fucked up and you have to either upgrade, downgrade or fix it fucking yourself. Well, I spend more than hour tryingto figure this out. Then I found out that some fucker set column length in DB where data are stored to varchar 800!!! WTF, are you fucking serious?
-
It's not every day that the solution to a long-standing mild frustration with a server is to blacklist the kernel module for video drivers.
5 years of never having an accessible console on that box was not the "headless" I had in mind all this time. I was finally able to solve the black screen by forcefully ignoring Intel's broken video drivers. Thanks Intel.2 -
So, my favourite language is Python, and for web developing I use Pyramid, and to stay in my "comfort zone" I use brython for client scripting, don't take me wrong, I love javascript, but for just a bit of performance lost I like being able to use all my pre-existing python code if I need to...
So, this was my first work experience, for a military industry, we had to make a service for uploading big files and sending them via email.
I heard one thing that shot me out of my "comfort zone" (I'll call it cf from now on)... "Use php"...
So, I already had written in php and I've always disliked it, perl-ish and broken as a bethesda game (i like bethesda games, but they are broken)
Another thing: javascript vanilla or jquery, never liked jquery either, so I decided to use vanilla js...
So, after 6 months of work, my partner and I finished it...
Well, more than one year later that mess we had to make to satisfy our boss' most absurd desires is not online yet, I search it on google every month, so yeah, 6 months of my life wasted (also, it was a "stage", so not only I didn't get any recognition, but they didn't give me any money) -
Why install a native app to use devrant on a mobile phone? Your website is not totally broken in a mobile browser. Responsive web is possible in 2020, believe me and give it a try!12
-
After a while of functioning as a dev, I've learned one of many lessons:
The amount of experience you have does not correlate with your expertise, but it in fact correlates with the amount of absolutely broken shit you've seen and your ability deal with it. -
I remember when first iPhone came out, The only broken shit while browsing was panning and pinching(most of the pages did not have responsive design) but they worked. Now every fucking webpage is mobile friendly, except all of them are fucking broken! You don't have safari or Chrome? Then fuck you! Here you have this BIG fucking button that does not work. Fuck all SPA!1
-
What are the symptoms of a broken openssh server?
I completely lost access with connection reset by peer, however, earlier today I kept having my session auto disconnect on only one server, the only way I could gain access is to remove and then install openssh again
But on this particular server, I have not even changed ssh port, why did it get broken?15 -
Jenkins' triggerManualBuild randomly but if so then consistently produces 500 errors for certain newly created jobs. I haven't really found a pattern, yet I was bit by it in the past already. I used to "solve" it by deleting the offending job and re-creating it.
Now, I have this annoying issue again, and no matter how often I re-create that shitty one-liner job in the pipeline, it won't trigger. (The job itself is fine. It's the actual trigger that is broken.)
It's not like it's important or anything, as this is basically only the "push to production" step.
FML. And fuck me for stating: "Creating a delivery pipeline should be straightforward. I therefore consider 1 storypoint enough."4 -
Got pretty far with cleaning this project up:
https://github.com/Pulsar-Edit-High...
- Code refactorings
- Documentation reworks
- ..
However:
- Broken workflow ( Pulsars action is not yet released, ppm not properly installed )
- Changelog content is still .. yes
- Relative links are broken in package preview ( bug in IDE )1 -
Just a couple of things I'm thinking,
Alacritty in my main terminal, but I have a Hyper terminal (secondary, since it's pretty but not as fast) for thoughts.
I'm not even sure if you can call them thoughts. I would say mental diarrhea.
Most of the sentences are ridden with expletives, and very emotional. I attached a picture where you can see that there is
* some special characters, result of me light smashing the keyboard (I say light as in, I'm very angry but not as angry to not appreciate my single computer).
* a final sentence with some really nasty message.
* a lot of gibberish as well, don't use this as a spanish learning tool.
If you're curious about what's causing me grief, it's trying to make jest work with a vue-cli existing project. I encountered a couple of gotchas that ground my gears.
I estimated this bitch ass task to take like 2 hours tops, but I'm like 4 hours on this already, so I'm halfway broken.
Also, another comment:
While seeing the picture of the dutch devrant meetup, I think to myself "man, there's no way I would not feel awkward in that situation.
But then I noticed the beer and was like "oh, that helps".
2 -
Why the fuck does Windows still not have a fcking decent package manager?
I hear you "but but but, there is Chocolatey, it's great, try it!". Well yeah if you only want binaries.
But I do need to, you know, develop and compile things, and without includes, code, and a reliable way to produce working binaries from that, it's useless.
Guess who needs to download dependencies one by one, compile them one by one?
Don't get me started on broken MinGW, or the "recommended" way of doing a bat script to have proper includes (what the hell, that's the entire purpose of env variables), or the fact that there is NO convention on where to install things.1 -
Joined a new workplace. Lead wants me to research on the available list of certain frameworks.
But they have already built a couple of services using certain frameworks and they don't seem to be having any issues with them.
I asked why look for new ones when you already have stuff that work for you and they're like "It's working - is not a reason to not look for new ones".
I mean WTF? Isn't "Don't try to fix things that are not broken" literally the point?4 -
my own code is confusing me so much that I can't even return what I want to return and been trying for hours
I'm going over stuff like a broken record and seems as though I'm not understanding it at all 🤷🏼♀️3 -
So I have a colleague who never tests and claims to not have time. I've sent him various emails with errors and their solutions, because he keeps breaking my finished code and I'll find out about it by pure luck. I've informed my team lead, I've also informed HR when he got downright nasty in email. But it feels nothing gets done. Today again I get finished code back because the save function is broken. Again changes that weren't tested were made. I'm so sick of this! Do I really have to escalate this to the CEO because nobody takes responsibility? The colleague is a junior in his first role and without a degree. But in the half year I've worked here I've not seen him improve, and he recently had his one year work anniversary :/3
-
Today at work I started doing 1 month old task with production problem.
First of all why now ?
Because I already fixed all the other urgent production problems I had during last month, done about 4 deployments of those super urgent errors.
Now I can start with not trivial one that are pending for quite time.
I am the only backend developer in this project ...
This is a dtp application and the problem is that we are not verifying if we got all fonts embedded in customer provided pdf files.
We are generating high quality images of those pdf for printing just fine from the beginning but now we need valid PDF with all fonts embedded in it. ( don’t ask me why I am only a hammer in this process )
After running simple test using python script against database it turned out we have over 500 broken PDF files without fonts.
So I guess I have just one sentence to say about it.
Fuck you PDF format for not being strict and allowing this shit. -
F*ck software updates..
So while working today, one of the IT support guy came and asked to update my windows machine due to some stupid company 'security policy' they were following .. That update took more than 3hrs.. The reason it took so long because I somehow managed to avoid any updates for 6-8 months.
But that is not the end of the story... Windows update was followed by a bios update, some softwares, and at this point I just gave up and went for a cup of coffee, and left my machine locked in a drawer still updating and it will stay in this condition until tomorrow.. We'll see if something breaks after updating.
F*ck why are there so many updates and why each of them requires a f*cking reboot...
Productivity today was less than the number of side projects I completed. 😪6 -
Over the last few years I started to change my mind about Microsoft, thinking that now it's a different company, caring about its customers more than money, focusing on quality to wipe away their bad reputation.
But no, this week I was proven wrong. I had to use one of the Microsoft products (SharePoint) and all I have to say is: same old shit.
Slow, gives errors at random times, often does not save changes. The online editor has been completely broken for two days now. Never wasted so much time before on such a piece of crap.
Fuck you Microsoft, I guess it's not time for us to meet again.6 -
Made the mistake of restarting my pc at work this morning. Came up with configuring Windows, do not turn off.
30 minutes later, same message showing.
Despite message saying don't turn off, i had had enough and turned it off, think it would be completely broken.
Booted fine, no issues?!?! Thanks Microsoft.2 -
Mini witch hunt going on with broken builds last couple of weeks. Change satellite assembly/project A, breaks random unit test that hasn’t been changed for months and the TFS nazi sends out emails demanding the “broken” projects be fixed. Doesn’t matter the unit/integration tests are likely out dated and team responsible for the tests needs to fix it.
Yesterday I deleted some logging code out of a security assembly, broke an integration test that hasn’t needed to be ran since January (test database didn’t exist anymore).
I would have had to re-create the database, re-import the test data (not trivial), re-deploy a service using the test database…blah. All because I removed some logging code.
I deleted the gated check-in TFS build definition. Code check in … no sirens …whew! I win! -
IIS curse you and your nuances!
I launch my local web application (which was working fine) and now get CORS errors and 404 not found. Wtf. I clean the solution rebuild, same thing. Then I restart my PC and try again. Same thing.
Then I use Firefox instead if chrome and it magically works. Wtf!
It's hard to fix broken things when they fix themeselves afyer trial and error2 -
Does anyone know any offline program like jsonresume to create pdf resumes..? It seems jsonresume is broken, and everytime i try it builds a pdf with no theme at all..
I need a resume where space is not wasted and i dont want to rewrite the entire css to make that happen. Suggesting a specific jsonresume theme i.e. style.css and .hdr file would also help because i found a blog where it was explained how to build a html resume using these..
And is there any offline html to pdf converters ?6 -
I'm literally one junior developer building a front end stack for a company that uses the waterfall method of building shit...
My application has not been fully tested and none of the real user base has actually tested it. I have no clue what potential egde cases exist in my application. I did as much testing as possible but it's keeping me on edge that there is potentially something broken lurking underneath that I don't know about.
If it is broken it's all erupting into flames and there's nothing I can do about it because the application will have to go through a whole beuacratic process to allowed to be fixed.3 -
Isn't it fun when you are given a library or framework and that in order to debug it you have to use some hacky way of hooking the code to a special instance of the project?
Even more fun: the developers by default don't debug the project with tools, but rather with logic. Ok, that's a good way to debug but it shouldn't be the only way to debug. I don't want to go back to the age of coding on paper. At least give me a stacktrace that's halfway clear on what's happening there. Even worse is when the framework doesn't document its own problems! stacktrace.someMagicalMethodNoOneKnowsWhatItDoes(). Having to read the even more mystic and overly verbose documentation! You're just left there trying and guessing shit, even for the senior devs!
And do you know what's more fucked up?! Fucking using println() to debug!! And they take this shit seriously! I don't understand how these people call themselves programmers. No breakpoints? What the fuck, man!
Just give me Visual Studio for fuck's sake. I don't want to code in a broken IDE with a broken framework. Development on its own is already hard enough, so don't make it harder by giving me crappy frameworks and crappy IDE's that only work half the time.
Debugging without a debugger, with broken IDE's, with broken frameworks, I'm sorry but that's just not for me. And then the framework dares advertise that it 'lets the developer focus on business code!' (how many times have you heard this crap before?). Right, the only thing I focus on constantly is trying to figure out why their broken framework doesn't work.
Arghhh. -
Tweet: Angular is slow.
Response:
vdom is worse than angular.
Then why not fix the stupid change detection strategy, broken form type/validations, late subscription bugs.
"Angular is for enterprise app".
This sentence means nothing.
Wtf angular community is so toxic
https://twitter.com/mgechev/status/...14 -
My company just released its website today. Previously, it just used its parent company's site.
Now, the problem is that it sucks big time. Awful design, pixelated stock photos, bad navigation, and broken grammar.
In the company's defence, it's not a web shop. It employs zero web devs. The site was built by an external company.
But if you are like me, you visit company websites before you apply for a job, and in this case, it would bed a big red flag.
Or maybe the hard-core embedded devs they are looking to employ wouldn't notice? Maybe they are all stuck in the year 2000 as well? I used to be a web developer so maybe my criteria are broken?3 -
Just debugged and patched a broken loveseat. I looked at the components on the working part and compared it to the components on the broken part. Could not figure out what the actual problem was, so I hammered out a makeshift solution that has things temporarily working.
Sounds like my job. -
So this morning, I was having problems with Explorer.exe. So I did a sfc /scannow to fix it.
After booting, my PC would not boot. I thought I did something to break it. I kept turning it off and on. I was scared that I broke my computer again.
I plugged out my keyboard. It booted.
Then I realized--it was my stupid broken keyboard being weird again.
WHy -
Safari refuses to load images on some websites lately.
I thought about resetting the browser / clearing the cache, but this will also result in millions of shitty privacy policy popups bugging me for months.
Honestly, I'm not quite sure if I prefer a broken browser, or useless shit I don't care for... :/6 -
I have a disagreement with my product owner (PO). Our team develops APIs in Mulesoft. We've got a release coming up and PO wants to release one of the APIs that has *some* working endpoints, but other endpoints in that same API have some open bugs.
Given that it's *unlikely* that those broken endpoints will be used, does it seem like good practice to release the API with known bugs in it to hit the deadline?
Understand that we're not just releasing the working endpoints. We're releasing all of it, bugs and all. PO's logic is that those broken endpoints won't be used therefore it's fine to send known bugs into production.
I just need some advice in dealing with this6 -
When you add a feature to your app, test quickly and see the new feature works, so publish to play store, only to discover you have broken core functionality 😭.
This just happened to me, I discovered it not log after the update and had to rush to fix it after discovering the play store has no "roll-back" feature ☹️.3 -
Getting all the shitty half-broken stuff because you're 'just a contractor'...
...and not being allowed to use your own top-of-the-range stuff due to 'data security policies' 😧1 -
Don't leave "broken windows" (bad designs, wrong decisions, or poor code) unrepaired. Fix each one as soon as it is discovered. If there is insufficient time to fix it properly, then board it up. Perhaps you can comment out the offending code, or display a "Not Implemented" message, or substitute dummy data instead. Take some action to prevent further damage and to show that you're on top of the situation.
We've seen clean, functional systems deteriorate pretty quickly once windows start breaking. There are other factors that can contribute to software rot, and we'll touch on some of them elsewhere, but neglect accelerates the rot faster than any other factor.
"The Pragmatic Programmer"
2 -
What the actual fuck is MSDN doing? I'm struggling for a whole goddamn month to make a WCF service used for only authenticating users. MSDN has around 4 different tutorials on this, from which one has a project to download, but the fucking link is not working, another one lacks basic information about the problem, and the rest of them are just a mess of links to solutions working when you are using a ASP web page. In the end, I'll probably find a single unmentioned issue, and it will work, but seriously, why the flaming fuck would you put solutions so broken, that even when copy pasting it it doesn't work at all?
-
Super curious: Ive broken my arch frequently. And then fix it and go on with my day. Or an update causes some weird package confliction because I used pip instead of pacman for one library or whatever.
But I keep hearing from different sources that "arch being super unstable is a myth. It never happens!" Okay surely not all the time, my system is usually pretty good but:
Do you people never `pacman -Syyu` ?
How have you not broken everything?! Or do you just pretend like the AUR (the best thing ever and also the source of most of my problems) doesn't exist? What black magic are you doing to appease the arch gods?8 -
You know the point where you should stop coding and think back about what the hell are you doing because the shit is getting crazy?
I just passed it whooshing at the speed of light, leaving behind me moments where removing readme.md changes the error being thrown and using `${someStringVariable}` gives different results from just using the variable - and I do not intend to stop.
I want to see the fiery hell of JavaScript and emerge on the other side victorious or a broken man. No other option.1 -
Today I finally got around to reading the manuals for my appliances as my Dryer didn't seemed to be working.
Apparently there is a filter that should be cleaned...
How it's not broken, it may be out of warranty...
Also the manual showed that the model that came with my new apartment is actually the cheapest version...5 -
That horrible, dreadful, feeling when your openvpn server is not working as intended anymore, and yet you can't remember what was the last thing you changed a few weeks ago.
Even worse, one client seems to still work just fine, while another seems completely broken.
- pc1 (windows): all good
- phone 1 (android 8.1): no connectivity, both internal and external
- phone 2 (android 7): all good
All with the exact same config.
If there is a god, I must be in hell. Otherwise I cannot see the point of this sensless torture.3 -
“Not a security guy” no more😼
I already completed 10/16 chapters of this book, including formatted and updated every code example in the github repo.
There’re lots of fillers in the book.
😑Lots of repeating samples.
The nosql part in node.js is completely broken.🤯
The code mixed with space and tab, so I have to format it before starting the exercise. 🙀
The git repo has about 150 forks, it makes me wonder how many copies they actually sold, since the entire book is closely tied to code samples.🤔
1 -
So a guy who is on team team and making more money then me and has just been offered a promotion just suggested I open a json file using MySQL...yes you read that correctly your eyes are not broken4
-
[thinking] "Just a few little tweaks and I'm all set to meet the deadline. Oh, what's this? Not broken but I could probably improve that real quick."
[Several hours passed deadline]
"Oh God, what have I got myself into?"1 -
Me: Hey I'm pushing the changes up
Marketing: okay.
*5 mins later*
Marketing: WTF what did you do! Everything's broken now! It was so embarrasing to show that bug to the client!
Me: *panik* *checks website* ....
Yeah, it is under maintenance... because the changes are getting pushed. It takes about 15 mins to do so. Like when you update an app.
Marketing: fix it ASAP please, and tell me as soon as you do
Me: There's nothing to fix. Just wait until it finishes updating.
And no, next time, I will definitely not tell you as soon as I push the changes. I'll wait about an hour so you don't have to see that mainenance page.3 -
Sometimes I don't get "don't test on production".
And I'm definitely not a front-end guy, I only have debug and release in mobile development.
And I definitely often test on release, because it may be broken while debug build works fine.
You know what that means?
1. Test locally
2. Try to fix issues
3. Realize that this issues would ever appear ONLY locally
4. Move to staging and test
5. Fix issues
6. Realize that most of them are caused by workarounds for localhost
7. Move to production
8. Realize that everything is fucked up and you don't have any idea why, because `h5aqq2 was called on null"4 -
2 seconds after I checked in some work on a web page, co-worker runs to me, freaking out because "This is not how I wanted it to look!" and waving a printed mock-up in my face.
I inherited a shitty, bloated, broken, 10-year-old site with dumbass CSS, but I did my best to work with it. I'm not surprised it's broken, so calm the fuck down and let's talk about what you're seeing and I'll happily fix it. It will be okay! -
"why has this broken on the site? How can you not cater for it?"
-Looks at what was added-
"uuuuh, any reason the height has been set to 1px? :/" -
Goddamn, Windows' idea of symlinks is completely broken. It's like they faked it at the UI level, but if your build process wants to copy the file? Too bad, it's not real so you can't copy it.1
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Its nice to work for a client that does not call broken features "garbage".
I mean I get it, broken code is garbage but it makes the hours and minutes leading to meetings less anxious when I know I won't be hearing comments like that.3 -
What absolute fucking imbecile thought an upper limit of 6.0.0 would make sense for max supported PHP version on the entire Magento 1.9.3.X code base. Not to mention the installer is broken on account of them not fucking understanding InnoDB is default engine in MySQL.
Seriously Mage Rage is real.5 -
A few months back I tried to get the company I work for to invest in software to located and recover lost/stolen devices. I brought a few offerings to the table but I was told we didn't need to worry about that because it never happens and we already have software in place.
Fast forward a few months and I'm looking at the software we're using and it seems we haven't actually configured the computers to allow for tracking. I send a message to our CTO about this and point out that, in the event of a missing device, we can't actually relocate it. Not 5 minutes later a manager comes in to let us know that his computer is missing and may have been stolen because his car was broken into the previous night.
Well I'm laughing because this is just the kind of thing I needed to happen, and the manager is freaking out because he's afraid the CEO is going to be furious. I get a few emails from other members of the leadership team requesting we set up a meeting to go over our security and asset protection procedures.
So I finally get to start implementing some actual security protocols around here. And fortunately the lost laptop was actually recovered because it was left at a bar and not in the car when it was broken into. -
Everything works hurray
- why not change this column in the database ?
Ok
- everything breaks -
Let's write additional 50 lines of code,,,
Still broken
but it worked once that's an accomplishment right? 🤣4 -
I am kinda feel broken these days :( Not even have energy to do anything... I have experience of 6 years but feeling like nothing gonna happen. Learning any tech will be waste of time.. Just wants to run away from my life and spent some time to travel but then who is gonna take care of my bills :(
Fuck this coding shit.. I am feeling like fresher again :( except this time I can't compromise with my salary . I wish me luck for upcoming year 20232 -
!rant
"This vendor system is broken and we need the data in its DB. Here's a report used to use from it. Build a new report in SSRS that we can use to pull out all the records."
+1 day tearing apart their data warehouse to find where things are.
+1 day duplicating their sample report
"Well, you did a good job duplicating what we had, but we want something that will pull every single bit of possibly related information that's in the system, and not just what was on the report we gave you."
ffs!1 -
So made this component that my colleagues also use.
Today i checked source control...
What did they do to my creation?
Lines commented out here and there. Features destroyed by rewriting it, instead of just using it. Related unit tests broken of course. It had everything. And why not ask me?
According to Source control they helped each other. Working together as a team, desecrating my code.1 -
I was in a hurry
this Asian chick grabbed me and not let me pass
I kept slinking out of her grip
she kept grabbing me again
I said "no I'm serious, I gotta go"
I pulled more violently
she fell on the floor
she pulled me down with her
she grabbed my legs
I started kicking her off
a kick to her shoulder dislocated it, but she kept going anyway
I'm trying to get up and kicking
I look back and now even her face is busted
yet she's still going at me, grabbing, pulling
what the fuck?
then the scene changes to a forest
we're in a band and trying to survive out there
by now the jig is up
encounter a person in a clearing, sledgehammer him in the face to disable him so he doesn't notice us
except that didn't do shit. his skull caved in, his bones are broken, but he's moving and moaning to try to get to you. he's not a zombie either. he's alive. looks perfectly alive. but his bones are broken and he's still moving and going. what the fuck do you do?
the bones start moving underneath his skin, he's just reorganizing and reinventing his body live
they're unkillable
the fuck you do now?
I used to have a lot of zombie dreams but what the fuck is this new shit3 -
Lessons learned:
Dont fuck with firewall rules when intoxicated.
I was on a weekend, my mailserver was acting weird again.
I do my shizzle, git commit, push.... And it broke
And i was too far gone tp notice on time where the forward rules were broken... That made it stop completely
At least it was not an open firewall -
(I am not a native english speaker so please excuse any mistakes I make while writing this)
I know, during an internship, its good to see all different sides of the job and of course QA is one of them. Its definately good to know as a dev later how QA works, I can see that. But why the F U C K do I have to test the same 3 pages (not websites, PAGES) since 5 days for 8 hours a day even though NOTHING CHANGES?! The page doesn't get updated, I am just sitting there clicking around and wasting my time I could use to learn more PHP or jQuery or WTFEver. But no! I have to sit there for hours and hours, doing nothing but staring at a page where I already tested literally anything that can be tested 4 days ago. If you don't have a good task for me over there in QA, then STOP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME instead of forcing me to continue testing this stupid website even though testing already completed a few days ago!!! I don't even have Test Cases to follow, its just “yea look at this page and click around is something is broken“ for 5 days. There is nothing broken, your fucking website works fine. And now STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!6 -
I'm going to talk about ancient history. When I was getting started with computers, my dad got me a Radio Shack Tandy computer (yes, the ones you had to use a TV as a monitor). The damn thing was broken from the start, I'm not from the US, so returning it and getting a new one wasn't easy.
He managed to find some place to get it fixed, got me started with Basic, and here I am. -
Not a webdev so I don't care about how a website looks, but logical failures can really trigger me at times.
E.g. this German federal page you had a bunch of options to fill in your employment status. Though being incomplete it forced you to choose one from the list and then at the end you have to checkmark that you filled in everything correctly reminding you there might be legal consequences otherwise. Thanks.
Amusingly on the same page their enum to string converter seemed broken or they just didn't care. So options to choose from read like: Enum_marital_status_unwed_coupled
Fucked up the screen shot so I can't show, but made me chuckle.2 -
So... I've been looking for a week on why my machine was braking tools on every piece...
Found out yesterday, it was machining without water....
Told the engenheir (my direct boss)... Started working at midnight and was the same...
Decided to fix it, besides the fact that I'm a temp and shouldn't be doing his job...
Can't fix it... To many broken pieces....
Well a few metal pipes like straws and some rubber bands and its fixed for now...
I really can't understand why a engenheir gets 10x more money and can't bother to fix the machines....
Well I know why... He's not the one paying for new ones when these brake.
Next: other machine Is working without oil...
And no, I'm not messing with that... In a few months they will just have to buy a new one.4 -
It's ok to deal with PHP.
It's (kinda of) ok to make new stuff with It.
Stop pretending that it's not broken.
(I know php8 blah blah, but let's face it, without a good framework it's unmanteinable)
I dunno, i'm just frustrated by the low salary that PHP give to me.17 -
need to update microservice version used by other service up multiple versions so it grabs new field i need
now im stuck debugging whether or not somebody else broke some shit, i broke some shit, or it was already broken2 -
is there any way to convert python straight to C yet? i just barely can't get PyInstaller working on PythonD because no os.fork() (because DOS. no, not cmd.exe, actual fucking DOS.)
one broken function between me and victory
"just use C" DJGPP is kicking my ass all the same, random unknown segfaults are a bitch and also i can't get quite what i want in the memory layout restrictions i have to work under
"just use Assembly/BASIC" their file handling makes me wanna die and BASIC is fucking massive as well18 -
mild rant. Android phone updated last night. Phone rings this morning. Swiping right to answer does not work. After putting glasses on, I can read the miniscule "swipe up..." text. OK, they put some words on there, not their fault I tried to answer the phone without glasses. But, why the world change how the phone gets answered? What it really a problem? I've already discovered a new one: reaching into my pocket to get out ringing phone caused an accidental swipe up so the call was answered before I got to look at the caller id info. Just another thing changed that wasn't broken to begin with. And no, I could not find a setting to change it back.4
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'cracking' in our language (Turkish) is using the same meaning with 'to break' verb
+i want a program for drawing something and i searched for it. i found a program name, photoshop. do you have it?
_i dont have its files but if you want i can find
+can i install it myself?
_it needs cracking. can you do it?
+why we broke program? i cant use broken program. i am not a nerd. give me health program. dont fool with me
_?!?!?!?1 -
Enabling browser userscripts on Android is not an evident procedure for novice users.
It's annoying if people do want this functionality to change how web pages behave, e.g. they want to fix a broken banner on mobile that doesn't have max-width: 100% but instead crops off on the page.
At this current time, Firefox changed their engine so that it supports only a limited set of add-ons and you'd have to use a nightly build in order to enable other add-ons such as userscript ones.
Chrome doesn't accept add-ons/extensions.
And there's the JavaScript trick but again, not user-friendly.
It's just annoying.2 -
# rails manage.py runserver
Usage: ...
# python run server
/use/local/opt/python/bin/python2.7: can't find '__main__' module in 'run'
# npm server
Usage: npm <command> ...
# webpack s[TAB]
...
# [TAB]
...
# ./just_fckn_run_pls.sh
zsh: no such file or directory: ./just_fckn_run_pls.sh
# DO IT
zsh: correct DO to do [nyae]? n
zsh: command not found: DO
# exit
Thank you. Come again!
-- Dr. API Nahasapeemapetilon
============= Broken Pipe =============
10 GOTO PUB -
I have acquired a Bang & Olufsen surround sound system with a broken discplayer. I can not finde anything about the connector for the intact speakers but it seems to use a protocol instead of analog signals.
Does anybody here know something about them and theire speakers?1 -
Wow I just thought I had lost my good old friend forever - my laptop did not want to turn non anymore and since the main fan is somewhat broken, I thought I'd never see him alive anymore and that he died from overheating thus I opened it, plugged it to the power connector and voila, it works again - whew, that was a shocking moment for me and I guess it's finally time to replace that fan.7
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After my third "requested changes" I've officially lost all dignity I held. Spend hours working, wrong solution. Revert, not working. Fix, removed functional code. I think my brain is just broken. Or maybe this project is just massive and I just can't wrap my head around it properly. Or maybe I'm just clueless. One day I'd like to be at a level where you hear an issue and immediately know the solution, where the problem lies in the code, how to fix it, and how long it will take. Hell, I'd settle for even one of those right now. The learning process is so stressful.
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Okay, so because my desktop has an APU (AMD A8-3850) and a dedicated GPU (AMD R9 380) in it, and i'm finally getting a (small, probably 240GB because budget) SSD for it, what Linux distro should I use? I'm planning on doing libvirt passthrough for Windows using my APU because fuck running it as a main anymore, it breaks too often. As far as I can tell, my options are as such, family-wise:
- Debian kernel: amdgpu doesn't like that I have an APU and GPU and refuses to see a screen (yes, even after all the Xorg configs and xrandr bullshit and kernel flags and...)
- RHEL: a lot of Red Hat-based distros (mainly Fedora) have packages that are broken out-of-repo and out-of-box recently, but maybe it'll like my hardware? (It's been a few Fedora releases since I last tried it, is this fixed? CentOS has such old packages that it's not even worth bothering with for my needs.)
- Arch kernel: go fuck yourself, i don't wanna take 1000 hours to get it running for a week, nor would the updates be any better than Windows' current problem (or even more so, as slightly more often than not Windows' broken updates just add annoyances and don't hose the system.)
did I miss any?25 -
Printer shit continued: So we got this great Lenovo Ideapad with a Windows, so why not print from there? Installed driver from webpage and really printed nicely.
Then I removed ton of Lenovo's crapware + McAfee (leftovers luckily were cleaned by McAfee's tool), so that this shitty device could be used reasonably - device would deserve rants on its own. AND boom, Windows USB printer driver seems broken beyond repair. Printer not even recognized. Shouldn't it all be plug'n'play?4 -
I just fixed some weird bug in legacy code which was caused by UI that contained text input fields embedded inside of text input fields.
How can anyone even think of this as a good idea?!
Needless to say, the UI was just broken. Maybe not a few iOS versions earlier. But definitely on the current iOS.2 -
I like the look and feel of gnome, but its extension system is SO FUCKING BROKEN. Like ho-ly-shit... You need a fucking browser extension to install or update them! Since not too long you can also do that via 'tweaks', but guess what: IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK.
...
Now that I think about it, if I need all these extensions to make gnome nicer, maybe gnome isn't all that good. Any suggestions for other wm's?1 -
Me: * Not having fun writing hundreds of tests/assertions for an API *
Also me: * Submitting changes without running my tests *
Production: * BROKEN *
RUN YOUR EFFING TESTS EVEN IF THE CHANGES ARE SMALL OR STRAIGHTFORWARD OR SIMPLE OR WHATEVER -
When something is still broken after I fix it
When fixing one bug creates two more bugs
When I am too lazy to do anything at all
When I have to fix bugs in code I did not write
Whether the sun is shining or not,
whether it is hot outside or cold,
I always feel the same...1 -
i work with someone,and looks like he want to run away,if he run away with the half done project and not pay me i want to make his API broken,how to do that?4
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I was once 'fraped' by a former (non technical) manager. I decided to retaliate by returning the favour while he was out of the office, but instead of the basic toilet humour I had been subjected to, I took it one step further and posted a status on his behalf, a sensitive cry for help, full of sadness, regret, alluding to betrayal and broken friendships. The texts, calls, concerned replies and messages on Facebook started flashing up his phone. He called me demanding I delete the status now as he couldn't figure out how to do so from his phone. Needless to say he was not happy. Highly recommended.1
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Hey guys, how do you feel about the death of Python 2. As a stupid person I love Python and it's the only language I can somewhat understand 10% of. What's going to change by moving to 3? Any of you guys adversely affected by any of this?? Broken projects? Lack of support? I really regret not teaching myself programming when my brain was still spongey.....it's just a ball of poop right now.6
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How broken is z-index implementation on Chrome?!
Almost an hour lost today, due to perfectly fine web code running on Firefox, but showing completely wrong z-order on Chrome.
The reason? I manually changed the z-index of a child and not the one from the parent DIV. (and I was only making the child z-order *higher* than everything else on screen, so I could drag it around)
Code now has a bunch of "// thanks Chrome!" to show due appreciation. Grrr....1 -
Last saturday, the CEO forced us to update one of the services that we are dependent out without any tests... The people responsible for it very much advised against it but they still did it.
Now, nearly a week later. The literal core feature is still broken with no fix in sight and rolling back is not possible apparently.1 -
Why is instagram so thoroughly broken and a user experience torture.
I know the standard answer of "As long as the core flows that hold up the popularity work, no one cares much", and yeah, true, but that's a reason for why no one fixes the broken stuff.
What I want to know is why is it so thoroughly broken in the first place? Granted, Facebook isn't the best of places but one would expect at least a certaim level of competency from a team coming from the same organisation that gave us React JS(even if Instagram did not originate there, they have been in the Zuck empire for a while now). Why do such thoroughly messed up UI/UX and features get pushed to prod in a company that has the time, resources, and talent to do things professionally(read: better than the mess that instagram is). Not to mention a fuck ton of missing simple features that would make using it much better experience (JUST LET ME AT LEAST COPY COMMENTS GODFRKINDAMNIT IF ENABLING EDITING COMMENTS WILL COST YOU YOUR FIRSTBORN'S SOUL)
Maybe I am somewhat biased since I use Instagram desktop more than the mobile app, but my point should still stand.2 -
I worked for 7 hours today trying to find the bug because our BPM process wasn't working and the clients are really upset. I was pretty sure everything was correctly configured. I did around 15-20 rounds of debugging, putting and removing breakpoints in different parts of the whole project, going back to certain lines cause I might have missed a bug or maybe an error was there and I'm just not seeing it.
In the end, the only fucked up thing about it is that the table in the clients' ddbb was broken. It was considering something NULL even though it's not and the only thing I did was duplicate it and change the duplicate's name to the original name.
Those were 7 hours of wasted time, but at least I get paid for it! -
Hey!
Would you recommend React Native, or Electron for a not really experienced programmer?
I am just starting with JavaScript, and these two tools are the most fascinating to me. :)
I have been learning C# in school, but mostly had to teach myself in the past year.
Anyway, thank you, if you answer, it is really nice on devRant, and it's my first developer community to be part of! :D
Sorry for the broken english - not my primary language.6 -
Solution for some reason doesn't work correctly on dotnet core so I try with framework => works. Develop a bit further, not touching anything that happens BEFORE the broken point. Then done far enough that actually have to seriously think about deployment. Framework solution is a headache => decide to try dotnet core again and hopefully find a fix for the broken part => magically everything works. What? WHAT?
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Seriously.. CSP for a bug tracker site.... not really a good idea....
http://bugs.chromium.org/p/...
Site is TOTALLY broken due to CSP.... -
I just love when all my code is perfect and clean... then I compile it to see my changes... and everything is fucking broken.. so I think "okay, let me see if I missed something or forgot a space or something stupid."... nope not that *recompiles* nothing is showing up.
"That's cool too, who needs a working website anyways." -
Motivation to work: 404 not found!
This project is going to crash, the client wants live but we have a broken ci/cd and the application is not even finished.1 -
Im rebuilding a certain page in Angular. Looking at certain functionality i found out that a news subscription is broken on the current page. However i still need to implement this? But why? It’s not working?1
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Anyone have tecnical explain about auto starting bios? Not broken keyboard, restored default bios settings, new bought computer...
Note: i fixed it somehow but i dont know how i did -
"Through centuries of scourges and disasters, brought about by your code, you have cried that your code had been broken, that the scourges were punishment for breaking it, that men were too weak and too selfish to spill all the blood it required. You damned men, you damned existence, you damned this earth, but never dared to question your code. Your victims took the blame and struggled on, with your curses as reward for their martyrdom - while you went on crying that your code was noble, but human nature was not good enough to practice it. And no one rose to ask the question: Good? - by what standard? " - Ope Rand.
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Any recommendations and tips for monorepo setups to share stuff between multiple typescript nuxtjs projects for the frontend and some nestjs backend ones? And all applications are deployed in docker containers.
I feel like I'm going crazy, everything I try is broken, or not fully implemented, or has a shitton of gotchas and customization that must be done on a case by case basis.
This is the most unfun shit I've done in a while.1
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