*computer fell, broken in pieces*

Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?

Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,

Me: no, no I just-

Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?

Me: umm… no, look I'm just -

Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir

Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-

Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?

Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -

Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8

Me: no just check my-

Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-

Yup.

R: Random ass recruiter on LinkedIn
Me: me

R: Hey I was searching for X skill and your name popped up first. Would you like to work for our company? It's an urgent position with good pay and awesome latest tech

Me: I quit that very company 5 months ago, because the pay was low and the tech was from the 1990's.

R: :/

Me: :|

PS: I'm not 100% sure of this, but based off the tech stack, I'm pretty sure it was for the same fucking position I quit from.

I might have to say goodbye to all the tech I have now because my parents are pissed off about me not wanting to talk everything about the university.

Everything... Just taken away if I don't tell them exact fucking grades in every subject until tomorrow.

How about killing me now, huh? At least I would fucking have an ending to my suffering under them.

Tech support to my friend:

Friend: Root my phone!
Me: why
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone

After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐

Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.

Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.

You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.

Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.

I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass

You know why i hate lenovo with a burning passion? Not because they make industrial waste and sell it. Not because they trick non tech people into buying their garbage. No, i hate them because their shitass laptops dont even fit in my rubbish bin.

No, I don't know why your keyboard isn't working. I'm a web developer. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Pressing Ctrl + S only once to save your code in the editor is the tech equivalent of locking the door to your mansion and not pulling the knob to check if it has indeed been locked.

My ISP advertises themselves as IT-nerds. I once contacted the support, not tech support, just the usual support. I wanted to use my own router instead of theirs, and the supporter actually knew how I should configure my vlan and a lot of other technical stuff.

Why aren’t all ISP’s like mine?

A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:

On tech debt:

So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.

Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)

Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.

(2 hours later)

N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.

This guy is collector.

The best part of being a dev?

You can be a nerd, you can dress lousy, you got all those fancy tech you can work with, it's diverse, it's fun. And on top of that, it's not even remotely hard to find a job and get payed well.

Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year

Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then

Manager: !!

Being told I’m not experienced enough to get a senior dev job I interviewed for.
Even though I aced the first 4 interview rounds, the tech test feedback was “the best solution they had ever seen”, and I’ve been a senior dev for 25 years.
Time wasting assholes.

The hardest part of programming is not the inner workings of the chosen frameworks and tech.

It's the damn naming.

I will spend hours trying to figure out what to name things for sense and clarity and then a fraction of that time coding it together.

*me, staring out the window*

"Hey dude can you--"

"Ssshhh. I'm naming things."

Don't apply for a job that you don't like. You're gonna hate your life.

Don't ask for a salary you know you're not worth.

Work in a tech company as much as possible. If you don't, you're gonna be treated as a powerpoint presentation expert, office installation expert, video editor/movie maker expert, IT support guy, loose plug/broken headset repairman, facebook hacker, and a dark magician all at once. Most (not all) tech companies know who you are better. They understand your needs better.

My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.

The very first call i attended, went like:

Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?

*Listening his problem*

Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".

Client : where can i find "Right Click"?

Sadly to say, but devrant is slowly moving away from dev part of its name, even rant part.

More I see posts about this tech sucks vs that tech sucks. That being annoying, would be fine, not for me, but fine.

The worse part are the memes. Repost memes, not funny, though, maybe funny to some, still no effort reposts.

Even worse are posts that have nothing to do with dev. Like recent post about soldiers and gay people (maybe you saw it). Why the hell post it here?

Going down are the ++ beggers, sadly I see even more of them.

Yes I understand I can just leave this platform.
I just wanted to express these mixed feelings I have been getting for my once favorite place to read about other devs experience.

1. Applied to a tech company based in Seattle
2. Interviewed
3. Got rejected because "At the moment, they do not hire international students."

Then, why did you interview me in the first place? :')

Please, do not "learn to code".
The industry is already filled with too many shitheads who think they're the next bill gates.
Most people have no business coding anything.
You might hear big tech screeching about "tech shortages" and that "we need more coders" but in reality, they're trying to flood the developer market with shit-tier coders so they can pay less wages, because they're too greedy to pay their workers a decent salary.

We don't need more coders.

You're not special.

Your bootcamp project looks like dogshit and 10,000 other people wrote the same thing only better.

Boss: agrees to unreasonable deadlines.
Team: misses deadlines because they're unreasonable.
Boss: "you just don't understand how important the deadline is"

He legit thinks the only reason we fall behind, is because we dont care. Not because we're doing stuff that hasn't been done before, and need to tech ourselves everything as we go.

Also, he's not a programmer, he's a salesman... and he runs the company like one too.

Anyone looking to hire a VR/AR developer?

Everybody talks about burnout syndrome or crappy tech interviews, but not about a real struggle for devs, bubbles in their laptop stickers.

So my friend who was a working as Tech/System Intern and soon to be junior sysadmin asked me "How was pinging 127.0.0.1 successfull? I am not even connected to the internet?"

Cleaning lady: *wants some tunes during work*
Me: "Sure, I wanted to listen to some music as well.. not sure if our genres match though 🤔"
Cleaning lady (CL): "So what kind of music do you listen to?"
Me: "Synthwave"
CL: "So um.. synthesizers?"
Me: "Well yes, but it kind of ties in with the dark side of technology.. the whole 1984 dystopian future etc. Privacy, lack of user freedom, etc."
CL: "So essentially cult music?"

TIL that the tech community is a cult for listening to synthwave. I bet she believes that tech peeps are lizards too.
*mentally slaps cleaning lady* - User!!

Please, if you're recruiting a freshly graduated or junior developper, DO NOT ask him to be a fucking expert in whatever field or tech you're looking for.

Tech startups, an analogy:

After 18 years going from help desk teams to NOC teams, telecom engineering and all manner of startups in between I have concluded the following:

Imagine wanting to start an aerospace company because you know how to fold a paper airplane, but not how to actually design and engineer an actual craft that will pass basic air worthiness checks.

That’s 99% of “tech” companies.

Discuss. I’ll make drinks.

I don't have any laptop stickers. I don't know if that makes me insane or one of the non-crazy people. I just don't like the idea of turning my laptop into a Nascar of tech companies/frameworks/bad Linux jokes. Not to mention stickers can be a real pain to get off.

That moment when I realise why the CD of Ultimate Boot CD I have asked the tech team to burn for me does not boot... Because it *contains* the ISO file...

Really fucking sick of people taking my coffee mugs on the drying rack and taking them back to their desk. It's not yours. It doesn't have our company logo or your company logo. It's obviously not yours so don't fucking touch it.

This is the second coffee mug of mine to go missing in 16 months. You work at a tech company buy your own fucking mug or open your mouth wide and catch your hot bean water you fuck.

Mom: "What's this thing?" *hands me her phone*
Me: *sees dialog saying something about com.google.gms or so draining battery with obvious okay button*
Me: "...just press Okay."

Meanwhile in India:
Son: Dad, I want to be an actor.
Dad: Son, it's pronounced doctor.
I know its not tech. But in India this is funny.

My tech stack progression:

Started with PHP without any frameworks, using a homegrown MVC architecture. Used to use `mysql_` functions everywhere. And only jquery + vanilla CSS in the front end.

Then moved to use PDO functions in PHP and Backbone.js + Less CSS in the front-end.

Then moved to Django in the back-end. Did not like Django very much as it is too opinionated and not flexible (although it's damn good for rapid development if you buy into their type of things).

Then moved to Flask + SQLAlchemy and using a home grown architecture. This is a sweet spot for me in terms of back end and stayed in this spot for the longest time.

Moved to Postgres from MySQL as I fell in love with Postgres.

Then learnt React+Redux. Liked it. Made most sense to front-end development this way. Moved front-end stack to React+Redux.

Learning Haskell and been working with Scotty and eyeing Servant for a while now.

Let's see where it goes from here.

PS: this is my personal journey through various tech stacks in various products at various companies I have worked. I'm not talking about moving a product through these many tech stacks. That doesn't make any sense.

My parents r pretty helpful with me programming. They r very supportive 😊😊

I even tell my mom how things work and she takes a lot of interest in understanding as well! She is my own rubber ducky ❤️❤️

My dad is busy and not a tech minded person so he is kinda ignorant about tech, but never stops encouraging me 😊😊

Go my mom and dad!! Yaaay 😍😍

Me: *reading work order* Customer states Mac does not have sound

*Me turns on Mac, it makes the signature "BONNNNG" sound*

Me: Uh huh...

Coworker: Rule No. 1 of tech support: The users always lie

Me: True, but still! How do you miss the start up Mac sound?!

"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.

"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"

For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.

Despite beeing one of the strangest ads I ever saw, this one is a beautiful and scary example of advertising tracking. Although I used a vpn and incognito mode I saw this ad on a page really not tech related at all.

I can understand (to a point) when non-devs use meaningless tech "buzzwords", but please, as developers, can we just agree not to spout nonsense?!

"Electron is so amazing, it's such a lightweight framework!"

"Django is incredible, it's so agile!"

Agile is a family of development methodologies, and Electron is about as heavyweight as a desktop application can possibly get...

(Deep breath*)
.
.
.
.
(Exhale*)
.
.
.
.
I’m sitting in the parking lot 1.5 hours early to start my new job today. I’ve been rather nervous about it since I accepted the job offer in early December. I’m going to be working with completely foreign tools and software stacks than what I’m used to. I never said I was pro or experienced at this tech stack, let them know during the interviews repeatedly that I’m just getting started with this kind of work and tech stack (devops role using jenkins and ansible mostly). And my experience and knowledge is limited to theoretical understanding of how these tools work together.

I’m excited to get to learn all kinds of new tech and push myself. But I’m also terribly nervous about how quickly I can pick this all up so I’m not a burden to the team.

fuck you to the tech software engineer who would sexually harass me for over a year straight and would simply NOT GET THE FUCKING POINT that I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED.

Worst mistake of my life.

Did not expect this from Google. Seems like you're hiring real linguistic pros.

Now this is not the only thing I didn't like, they're very disorganized & the interviewer got sick & two of three interviewers were so cocky.. bad bad vibes

On the other side, a small local company is giving warm & good vibes, seems more accommodating even with lower pay.. their website sucks & the tech director was honest & smiling.

So yeah, Fuck You Google
..|.

2nd interview today for a job. I thought it went well but I could tell one guy did not like me. They said they were done after 20 minutes. They told the recruiter I was not senior enough. I have been a dev since 2001. I answered all of their tech questions. Really frustrating.

Comes back to hometown for easter holidays.
(Not so close) 'friends & family' tech support requests start rolling in..

Im gunna get a lot of flak for this but just hear me out:

People keep asking me what it's like working in a male dominated industry. They have conferences for women in tech empowerment and I get forced to go to them because I'm the only female in the office.

The thing is. I don't feel oppressed. I get that we "need" more women in tech but from my experience and from talking to various women at my old university, the reason women are avoiding the tech industry isn't because it's male dominated and they feel out of place. It's because a) it doesn't interest them or b) they never thought of it as an option (like myself).

Computer programming should be in grade schools and highschool's just like math and science to help educated not only women but people in general that it's an option. That's what's going to help more women get in the tech industry. Not these bullshit conferences and women's rights in tech movements, and hiring women over men (even if she's worse than him in skill level) just because she's a woman.

Frankly I think it's downright shameful that companies that are male dominated feel the need to hire women over men just because of gender. If I'm applying somewhere and there's a better male candidate, hire him! I'd much rather your company have a good team then a "balanced" team. Great tech teams are what will bring along new and better technologies, not balanced ones.

Keep in mind I'm talking about Western Civilization here, I get that a lot of countries are still struggling with the balance of women's rights at all but this is Canada.

I also get that there are probably some women who want to join tech but won't because it's too male dominated but frankly that's a shit poor excuse. If you really wanted to join tech then being surrounded by make co-workers wouldn't deter you from living your life the way you want to. If you feel so uncomfortable around men that you won't go into an industry you love because it's male dominated then I'm sorry for you and you should probably see a councillor to get that worked out.

I feel more oppressed by having to put aside my programming and being forced to go to these conferences than I do in the every day workplace. My boss is literally more offended that I don't feel offended about being a woman "minority". He spent a week pestering me about how I would feel about this, that and the other thing if it happened to me.

I'm not saying nobody ever says anything even remotely sexist to me but frankly I could give two shits- I'm here. I'm coding. I'm good at what I do and I'm comfortable enough with myself that I can just blow off the comment (which probably wasn't even meant to offend me) and continue working. But you're going to get that wherever you go, this isn't a flaw of the tech industry. This is a flaw of the world and it goes both ways (men get flak too).

So I've been applying to jobs. I, purposely, have been putting down that I am female (since they all harp on diversity, I'd like to see if they even bother reaching out to me. Also anything to get my resume past the bots).

Spoiler alert - getting similar ratios to male counterparts, 100+ applications sent, maybe 4 phone interviews. No offers yet. Still made to do code challenges.

Well, I just found out where all that diversity hiring went to. Buddy of mine who works at a mid tier company said that they have a special program that onboards women into tech.

Specifically, women who have literally zero background in computers.

Teachers, social workers, etc. They get a week or so of some coding bootcamp and then get full time positions over more skilled applicants.

This infuriates me. I literally would be in a better situation to be hired had I not have had any technical background, taken this particular bootcamp and finally net the elusive entry level position I need.

And guess what? That move has antagonized the existing male employees who see that they have zero interest and zero competency instead of having an integrated workplace.

10/10 for incredible bullshit.

While I was working with my Android project that is written on Kotlin. One of my on non-tech colleague came and saw my screen and

said "Why are you overriding fun"

I replied him that we just not override fun we also have private fun and public fun.

Is it not funny translating code to real English 😂😂😂

Devs: "Accessibility? Not a high priority for now"

Also Devs (in tech conferences): "I can't read, can you please increase the font size?"

"Also, dark mode everywhere please"

*during project development, we use a library as core of tye app*

Manager: We need to add feature X.
Me: The library developer announced that this feature is not supported.
Manager: why is that?
Me: *giving some tech explanation*
Manager: ok, but still we need it urgently, we told the client we already have it.

Just a simple day on my work

Working in Big Tech is just like working in stupid factories in the 1800. You are disposable and not worth anything.

Translated this golden bit from the Norwegian comic "Lunch" for you guys👍🏻

Frame 3:
Kjell: You see? Worn out again!
Tech: I can see that. How about we only replace the keys not working.

Frame 4:
Tech: ctrl + c ... and?
Kjell: V

😁🤓🎉

Controversial tech rant begins here:

You know, I'm sure a lot of you guys know that it is pretty uncommon to encounter a woman who is who is into tech (and ranting about said tech). This has always made people question why. I personally feel like that is the case because those that do like tech, and those that don't just find a different interest. I thought that would suffice, but now Google and Microsoft are advertising their diversity programs. I was fine with all that until I was personally affected by it. I intended to apply for scholarships from Microsoft. They turned me away because according to them, they began giving them only to people who were "marginalized". That and their commercials trying to pressure young girls to join the STEM field. Again nothing wrong with women in the tech field, but now that this is turning into favoritism I have to fight harder battles to compete in the tech industry. Not only that, but now I read a study about their employment. Despite the number of people they turned away and the money they spent on these programs, thr companies STILL haven't become any more diverse, and from what it seems, their reaction lately has been to double-down and try harder. I just want an open, honest, and fair tech community. Has anyone else felt the affects of this situation?

Theory: zoomers are actually just boomers who come generationally full circle

Source: I work with clowns in their early 20s and the fact that they are young and were essentially born into tech and had it their whole lives literally has not contributed anything towards their understanding of basic tech concepts - if anything, it has made them more clueless.

The good news: now I know whatever is invented in the future, whatever tech comes to be, the next generation of clowns will always have many jobs to offer me.

As a 16 year old, the hardest problem I've always encountered is trying to explain to people that coding as actually more complex than just typing random words.

Mum: can you look at my phone?
*bunch of random shit pops up all over the place*
Me: your phones got a bunch of viruses on it or something. You'll have to get it fixed
Her: can't you do it? You make apps. Can't you just make an app for me to fix my phone?
Me: I don't really make apps, besides that's kind of impossible.
Her: so what did you go to university for?
Me: -___-

How. The. Fuck...do these people has a job:
Me: How much to repair my Nexus 6 screen? It's not full smashed.
Tech guy: We'll need to see the phone
Me: Why? I need the screen replaced
Tech guy: Ok...send us a screen shot. it could be a cheap fix

Fucking me side ways! Really?

Psst, tech world, fuck you and your so called April fucking Fools jokes. They are anticipated, way too obvious and are not even remotely funny.

So, I'm living in a completely computer illiterate family and I was called to help my father with something on a Laptop where he wanted to stream his favorite Soccer-Club.

So I walk up to him, ask what's wrong, and he says (roughly translated from German) "That thing doesn't work!"

And I'm just like ((Wat u mean))
So I ask him to explain the problem in detail.
Apparently his streaming service wasn't loading his stream.

Well damn I say, try searching for the problem on Google and find a solution.
((But no no no imma just call my son for everything that's freaking wrong with tech, he sure knows what to do))

As I'm not that experienced with Webservices as of yet, I had no idea what to do.

He was fucking furious!

"You always act like you know everything about tech and programs and stuff and can't even help me with fixing this Stream-Thing?!"

I responded simply by saying "It's not my area of work!"

Seems like he didn't know the difference between TECH-JESUS and hobbyist software engineer.

So I stand there and he just goes on one of these typical boomer tech illiterate rants, of which I'm sure you can imagine enough being on this platform.

tl;Dr; It pisses me of big time how people are not even trying to understand technology, nor attempting to help themselves by eG. Googling some simple problem, but rather just ask around and then being pissed off if the asked person just doesn't know the answer or can't help!

My gym decided to adopt a fitness app so members could sign up for classes. Their onboarding was terrible (to be nice about it). I really hate when businesses don’t understand the technology they want to use.

Me: I downloaded the app, but all the classes say to call the gym.

Gym: Are you using the email that’s on file for your apartment?

Me: Yes, I am because I read the gym’s instructions for using the app.

Gym: …

Me: I think the issue is I had an existing account on the app before the gym decided to use the app for its business.

Gym: Then that’s the problem. Delete your account and sign up for a new one.

Me: WTF 🤬 I am not deleting an account that I’ve had FOR YEARS just because you can’t figure out technical issues with the vendor. How did it never occur to you that gym members might already have accounts for a fitness app that’s been around for years and used by other businesses? Besides, this app doesn’t let users delete accounts from the app so I don’t know where you’re coming from with telling me to delete my account.

Recent experience (#2)
- a cousin wanted to reinstall Windows on his laptop
- gave it to a tech shop
- they couldn't, said hard disk faulty
- I took the laptop hoping that it's just a partition table issue
- I tried changing partition table from MBR to GPT, but failed
- removed his hard disk from his laptop and plugged into mine
- tried and failed
- so I thought I would give it a chance with Ubuntu
- tried and ... 👍
- reinstalled his hard disk in his laptop
- works like a charm
- want to see what complaints he comes up with
- he is not a tech guy
- let's see how he manages to use it for his daily tasks

Not really tech, but...

I used to handwrite a lot of fiction in several notebooks that I kept over the years. House went through a bad flood in 2013, basement where the notebooks were stored got full up, lost all the notebooks 😭

Now I don't even have a basement

When your co-worker thinks the Onion is a legit publication and believes in all its tech news 😁

"OMG Google puts metal chips in their developers' heads, thats why they are so efficient"
Me: ok :|

"Artificial intelligence is real and it has taken over the world, all world leaders are bots"
Me: ok :|

"Obama is not a real person but a robot and he is not just ruling America but the world"
Me: sweet :|

"Even Lisa Ann is not real"
Me: FUCK YOU, Dont fuckin kill my wet dreams

Bethesda is full of shit. Starfield somehow needs a super new PC because it alledgedly uses modern SW tech.

Strange point: while a high-end PC with 7800X3D and 4090 makes the performance bearable (though not great), the graphics don't look spectacular. In fact, they look outdated.

No Bethesda, you don't use modern tech. You require modern HW tech to make up somewhat for your shitty engine and incompetent devs.

"I'll just go to a tech conference and not take any stickers."

- no one

Brainwashed Oracle HR Associate: So tell me, why do you want to work here at Oracle?

Applicant (that loves Apache Struts 1.2.4 and WebDav): It would be an honor to be a part of this great conspiracy and sell your products to mid-level project leaders that should not take tech stack decisions.

Brainwashed Oracle HR Associate:
Welcome aboard!

Windows 10 now let's you step through a options menu, which shows automatically after the new update, to select which kind of tracking you want to have. This makes it way more transparent for not tech savy people:)

I really despise the non-tech sluts who think their only job is to hold meetings and "talk". "Do you wannaa taalk about iiit?" Fuck you bitch you're not my therapist.

My mom’s not too great with tech

she’s the kind of person who thinks I’m hacking when I use a terminal

My brother is teaching her to play among us, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen

What do you think about ageism in the tech industry? I see articles where Facebook/Google pride themselves that their employee median age is not over 30. Why is that of any importance? Is it hard for seasoned developers to find a job or adapt to the "youth culture" in tech companies? Any of you felt bullied by your younger colleagues? Finally, will this change in the next 10 years since developers in their 20s will be approaching their 40s, or once they reach that age they will go to the special developer graveyard and commit harikiri?

I study and work as a tech support guy in a company and the head of Android development wanted to speak to me : want to help us with some changes in the app? Now I am a junior Android developer. Not even mad 🤔

Everyone and their mother has a JavaScript framework and the NEWEST cool npm module you're an idiot for not using.

It's like musicians and gear acquisition syndrome, coders love to have new stuff even if it's over-engineered, already exists, or redundant.

Hate dealing with tech hipsters 🙄 is nothing tried and true anymore?

I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.

Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.

I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.

Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.

When the hero turns into villain.

Windows memory management is one of the worst architectural designs in tech industry to ever exist.

One mistake on my part is I did not opt for SSD four years ago when my purchased my current laptop.

The entire experience is irritating.

(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>

Google is amazingly good at using tech to solve problems we did not even know we have...

I mean.. How did we even survive til this day w/o google making restaurant reservation or barbershop calls..? We are cavemen bcz we still do it all ourselves... So inefficient..

/s

Do you agree that the hardest part of the job as a software engineer is not the complication of the tech stack, but working for an inconsiderate arsehole is what makes the job difficult?

One of my house mates just came to my room and asked if I had a charger for her bf's phone and pointed at the headphones jack... I think I died a little inside

(She's not into tech and kinda apologized for it and I just "hey it's OK you don't have to know that". I'm a bit shocked LoL)

Algorithm online tech tests need to get in the fucking bin.

Fuck Codility, fuck Testdome, fuck HackerRank.

This is not how you test developers!

I'm absolutely terrified by my company... yes, these are fridge magnets. They're all over the place. It's not a tech company, but still... o.o"

Dear Hipchat, if you are going to implement an Autocorrect Feature, LEARN THE FN TECH LANGUAGE

if i type gradle i do not mean grade
if i type coap, i do not mean soap
if i type mqtt i do not mean mitt
and for f-shake hipchat is not "hip chat", how do you even mess that one up!

(feature now disabled)

Serverless is like our Hoverboard. It's not "no server" and its not "a board that hovers".

Whoever comes up with these names deserves a medal for trolling the tech world.

My AP CS teacher told us that we have a lab due the day after Valentine's Day. But that's not an issue for us because we are tech nerds... My face when most the class agrees.

I got core count shamed by a client today. He has a 64 Core ryzen and I have a quad core I7.

I want to upgrade I do! But the new tech coming out this year is just too good to not wait for! Plus I waited 8 years, I can wait a few more months. Right????

And on today's schedule, we'll be teaching the managers how to use a new dashboard, because not only do they not understand tech, they don't understand life!

waaaah_waaaah_waaaah.mp3 🤡

I asked a co founder of a tech startup, "Why use MEAN stack? " his reaction \_(ツ)_/¯ because it's cool and famous.
STOP TRYING TO USE THINGS WHICH ARE COOL YOU'RE MAKING SOFTWARES NOT MOVIES

Last night by accident I put my phone on coconut paste. (don't ask.)

Although it doesn't show signs of damage, and hopefully it hasn't been damaged, my heart is still not at rest. I had enough panic for one year.

But why does this keep happening to me with tech stuff accidents? Whyyyyyyy?

We need to normalize not being a passionate CS guru. You can be good at your job and not have passion for it. You don't have to dedicate your life to your career in every facet.

I don't expect plumbers to sit around their house all day during their free time hooking up water lines. Why is it expected that I'm always reading some dev book or learning some new framework or reading some tech blog?

I do other shit, and that's fine. My job earns me a paycheck and I'll improve on the clock, and when I walk out at the end of the day I leave that shit there.

At most I might converse with you informally about tech but I'm not going to spend my little free time going to meetups and pretending like I care more than I do. If you do that's great, but I'm not you and that's fuckin fine too.

After weeks of feeling useless at work as being the "available tech support", but not actually doing anything, I was finally assigned a new learning task, which is looking into Prolog

Doesn't feel like my cup of tea, but at least I'm putting my head to work again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Qt vs HTML5 everywhere, but not a single line of code in these blog posts about it.

Good job pseudo-tech-bloggers.🙄

And that comparsion. Qt vs Angular. What the fuck. Nobody uses fucken Angular.

Unpopular opinion:

- It's not a guarantee that someone who gets into tech because he/she likes gaming will be a good dev

- It's not a guarantee that someone who gets into tech because he/she likes money will be a bad dev.

A tech stack including Microsoft Teams, Apple Safari, and WordPress - all in the same project - might have been a red flag not to work with that agency

I'm too broke rn, so can all my tech devices not act up and cooperate until I have some disposable income again?
I'd appreciate that lots.
Cheers.

So TripleByte ended in rejection though they gave very detailed feedback and specific areas and even resources to look at. 👍

But it seems I'm not going to be able to escape algorithms in interviews so I'm not getting a new job anytime soon, even in tech.

So the only thing left to try in order to get my cake seems to be joining an open source project.

*My first internship*

Me: Hey, I'm unable to fix this issue with the interface.

Tech Lead: *Goes on giving me a lecture from the very basics* So, An Interface has the method declaration but not the.....

Me inside: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT AN INTERFACE IS JUST TELL ME HOW DO I FIX THIS FUCKING ISSUE.

Me outside: Right!

Arrived. After making the order, the company contacted me to make sure its not a misstake :D I'm having so much fun (wasted time) with this ancient tech.

I wish I had been an “ex-Google tech lead” for a week - so that could tell everyone I was “ex Google” as if it were like being a Dr. or something.

(not)

So I decided to help my Mom's Mom setup an Amazon Fire TV. Now I've been here for about 3 - 4 hours and I'm setting up 2 Fire Tv's, A Router, Writting down passwords, setting up an Amazon account with Prime and fixing her computer.. 😤😢

I love working from home. I finally feel I'm making progress and not just extinguishing fires and doing tech support for colleagues.

Maybe I should move to freelance work after this is over...

Using "sexy" when describing jobs, tech, etc is so cringey. Can we not?

Why do developers act like it's such a travesty when a non-techie says something wrong or ignorant about tech? It's not like we study computers and programming for a career and therefore know a lot more or anything...
Plus, it's not the non-techie's fault that the schools don't teach computer schools that well.

When I signed up for the technical college and heard that we would have media tech classes, I was expecting frontend stuff like HTML, CSS and JS, not how to make folders and change the font in notepad. Fuck.

I do not usually shit on operating systems or participate on hate discussions about tech and what not.

But boy, Windows 11 does fucking suck and it is giving me Vista vibes regarding how much I fucking hate it. And no, unfortunately I cannot change this PC to Linux (as I have before with other work computers) since I need Windows for it.

🪙 The golden age of tech is coming to an end. We currently live in a world of tech built by engineers and great minds; both Windows and Linux are great in their own ways. PCs are the peak of engineering, both desktops and laptops because of how versatile, powerful and universal they are. They serve engineers, designers and end users. You can do anything you can imagine; because the great people who built it, did it in such way that they themselves could use and enjoy it.

📱 The tech of the future will become ever more limited. The next generation of humans will use Chrome OS gladly and not even feel limited because they never experienced the freedom provided by a true personal computer device. Android OS is already getting ever closer to restricting 3rd party APK installers. Big tech will do everything they can to limit freedoms and make everyone use cloud, where they can charge $ for every damn click.

☎️The consumer-facing tech will become increasingly dumbed-down over time. The programmers and engineers will be still able to use "true" tech, but only for work. In everyday life, they will have to be content with the dumb limited tech.

And there is nothing we can do to stop it.

I don't understand why there is such a hypocritic professionalism in tech industry.

In the careers page ,these companies show smiling people, party images , slides and shit. And while selecting resumes, they want to scan buzzwords to select a particular candidate and hate "actual" introductions.

Like, how would you like to meet someone in a bar , who introduces himself as " a super enthusiastic 10x engineer and a tech enthusiast with a knack of building scalable and industry recognized softwares in x tech for last y years". Dude, introduce yourself as a human not a bot.

There is a clear difference when we are talking about personal stuff and when we are talking about tech in real life, why not maintain that in your resume?

But no, just write a single sentence in first person p.o.v and next thing you know, you see tons of LinkedIn post about "how to write a 'professional' resume"

When I became a dev my parents said: "it's not rocket science, or chemistry or anything good, but at least it's not stressful, or dangerous and we can get free tech support. I hope you are able to pay your own bills and find rent"

A few years, a degree and finding a supportive woman who is now my wife and and I make 4 time as much as my parents make now they want me to move back so they can get their tech support and see my wife I guess she is more social than I am

(Hopefully this is the meta rant to kill meta rants)

I'm fucking sick of devrant.

New users posting shit memes with the wrong tags.

But worse are old users complaining about said new users, or just beginner devs from other sites

Yes, some people need stack overflow every 5 minutes.
Not everyone has the capacity to understand every documentation.
Not every documentation is updated or entirely correct.
Not everyone has more than a year or two of experience.

Don't be part of the dumb circlejerk. Just complain about your bullshit boss, coworker or tech.

CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.

I remember the first time I downloaded smth from the internet and was extremely nervous not to fuck anything up. I was young and had just started using a computer. It was a desktop computer with windows xp in our basement, inside kind of its own wardrobe, standalone.
I remember my dad (not very tech-savvy) who told me not to download anything from the internet, as it would surely be a virus, but I was bored of the built-in programs and wanted to try it out. I downloaded a program and was extremely nervous and hoped for no virus. I don't remember what I installed back then (no virus/trojan/etc.😅) but it was this moment I realised I could download anything and wasn't tied to what the OS provided, which led me to be interested in computers in general.
I believe that if I hadn't attempted that download, I wouldn't have become the tech-savvy person that I am today, studying CS...

Today marks literally the 4th time a recruiter has put me through to a technical test for a language/ framework i do not know. Even if you are tech illiterate just fucking ctrl f my cv to see if I know it. Absolute waste of time.

Tech illiterate partner in startup: "We need a password to add your social media profile because people are misspelling their names and now im getting someone i dont know when I click the link"

Me:
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... how about... idk.. not misspelling your username or just edit it...

"Wifi does not have an ip address"
I hate being the family "tech" person.

Realizing what tech lead is asking us to do is not a joke

While I'm not a dev, I do love computers and I do know my way around them, so friends/family often ask me for tech support.

Friend: Please fix my computer!

Me: what's wrong with it?

Friend: *sends me pic of blue screen of death*

Me: ...

Me: I don't think you understand

Sometimes I wonder how large the gap between tech savvy n normal is.

All those stories about too much time on social media...

and also not knowing why you should get a tempered glass screen protector.... Even if you're screen is reinforced with Gorilla Glass...

Best way to learn dev tech is to choose the thickest book on the field and start reading it. Don't lose your time on blogs comparing what is the best framework If you do not know any of them... Select one and full blast!!!

Not tech related, but out of pure interest: Who else is into deathmetal, deathcore, slam death metal, black metal etc ? \m/

Is anyone else concerned by the state of the industry?

Jeff Bezos is on track to surpass Bill Gates as the wealthiest man in tech. Amazon has a history of questionable actions (look up Nucleus, Diapers.com, BookSurge, MacMillan vs Amazon, and Hachette).

They are known to have a strong lobbying presence and often pay lower wages than their competitors.

I buy from Amazon because I like their service and prices (not always the cheapest, but arguably the best buying experience), but with every purchase I can't help but wonder what I'm contributing to.
It's obvious small tech companies struggle to survive and that is the result of our consumption.

The Halt and Catch Fire writers and tech experts must have lived those days. Totally nailed it to the finest detail. I am impressed. Show me a 10mg (how will I ever fill it up) Bernoulli platter 😀
Great series but warning it is not a comedy like Silicon. Very different but amazing how some things are same as today in concept.

The biggest race ..
Intern wanna be junior,
junior wanna be intermediate,
intermediate wanna be senior

And the fear not to be lower then each other may be the reason why tech is
moving so fast on never ending race

Anyone else have a coworker that tries to act like you and manages to completely fuck up everything to the point where if you go to your boss about it you're the one in trouble and not them. -_-

High school tech team job sucks

Everyday tech support struggles:

- "I can't find my document."

- "Ok where did you save it?"

- "In Word."

- "I understand you saved it in Word but where did you save the file to?"

- "I'm not sure, Word did the rest"

!rant

Does anyone know what the **day-to-day** differences are between working in IT (banks, hedge funds) vs tech (Google, Facebook, Netflix).

In my mind, I see Hell and Heaven. And there's a giant wall in between called "technical interviews + algorithms and data structures".

I'm on the Hell side... And not sure if I should climb the wall 😔

Is the wall even that big?

People who dont know shit about technology and dont know how much work is required to make a product are commenting on how software should be made. (Pure management background people not even senior level).
- PS. Im fine with management people with tech background.

Finding out how not to do it.

An example, learning how to parse HTML, and finding a stackoverflow post with the answer "use regex" triggers tech junkies so much that they actually comment a mostly accepted way of doing something.

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

I really enjoy programming but I don't care about having the latest smartphone or the more powerfull computer. I'm not a tech guy, not even a geek... Sometimes people don't understand me for that, am I the only one ?

Did well at a tech screen today. it feels good to NOT feel like an idiot after an interview.

I'm sure every tech can relate when I say: "Do not! Interrupt! My weekend! With fucking! Tech issues! Thank you!".

Not my week for tech.

5 year old 21" desktop monitor burns out. 2nd monitor, so at least not completely down.

Then my toddler reached for my root beer and spills it on my 1 month old laptop. I quickly pull the plug and turn upside down, get it wiped off and pray. Next day, arrow and enter keys a little sticky and battery is blown. The 2 exact fucking reasons I bought the new laptop. (keyboard issues and battery)

Keep em coming tech gods.

1) keeping my shit together until my 3 month notice period is done.
2) moving cross country.
3) starting a new job with a new tech stack which I'm not as experienced in.

Just got off a call doing some classic "I know you are not tech support but please help me connect my iPhone to my computer", and I heard the following words:

"What's the Windows start button?"

This was not a boomer. This was not a Gen Y, Gen X, or even Millenial!

I shit you not, a zoomer did not know what or where the windows start button was.

I'm still in school and everyone in my class knows that I'm some sort of a computer/tech guy. And whenever the teacher has some problem with any of their devices everyone turns to look at me expecting that I would know the solution. Even when it's like when the device is not connected to the school wi-fi. Like how am I meant to know your wi-fi password. (And sorry for any misspellings. English is not my first language)

Absolutely nothing excites me anymore in this field. Tech is such a commodity and I’m just so over all of it. Not gonna go all Ted Kaczinsky but I find myself longing for a time when not everything and everyone was controlled by computers. We’re not far from total transhumanism and despite what some may believe, that’s not a good thing.

"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"

nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s

stop it. just stop it.

"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools

tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube

😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"

When the anti-tech departments pretend that remote work don't exist and annoy people about things that really don't matter, specially when you are not in the office. Like massage chairs or birthday cakes for someone you never/hardly ever met.

(bullshit departments like celebrations, facilities, marketing, culture, I swear I'm not making those up)

Struggling

Started a new job not super long ago with the intention of "learning new tech" and so I get my wish, I'm thrown into a project as the LEAD ENGINEER

And my junior dev proceeds to run circles around me and I know literally nothing about what is going on in this project aside from the architectural / feature planning discussions I've had with marketing/junior

I've been trying to learn vuejs for what seems like weeks and weeks and I'm just not "getting it" I come from a strong oop php background and this paradigm is using tons of tech I know basically nothing about. Every time I talk to junior I get super depressed cause he's speeding along and I'm still completely clueless.. what the FUCK do I do

Should not we update the joke about “my FBI agent” to “Google”? Serious question about tech surveillance.

Took about 67 hours to do homework task and still not got the job offer. And they kept asking few times when I will send the task, because they saw me as very likely me fitting, so I thought there is high chance to get and was motivated to do the homework.
Of course that much time took because I did not know technologies, it would be much less if I knew tech.
But at least learned new tech.

*sees a new tech/framework/language*

*dives straights to download just checking for windows/mac/linux*

*downloaded product doesn't start/gives error/complains because some prerequisites are not met*

*after some frustration it starts to work*

*To not offend the Gods, writes "Hello World"*

*Carry a "Hackerman" face all day*

*Updates resume*

I never dream about tech (at least not specific) but recently I had a dream rotating around the fact that terminators (e.g. T-800) are safe to be stored on Windows 95 as they can only boot from NES cartridge.

One good thing about working at a shitty place is you end up knowing what not to do by just pure pain.

I once consulted for a company who had the latest tech - kubernetes, bit bucket, you name it. But it didn't matter. The code was shit. It's not about the tech, it's always about the people that use the tech.

"We are releasing today" - sentence my project/tech manager keep saying for a week now. Of course, we changed few core components during the week - because, why not - and nothing works now.

Not the question itself, the attitude was the problem.

I didn't solve the problem that they gave me, and struggled for a while (I ended up solving it an hour after the interview).

Their attitude was that they were both sitting on their computers working and not paying attention to me.

That was disrespectful and stupid. Interviews are also about figuring out whether you can work with the person being interviewed, not just their tech chops. They completely missed the opportunity.

I went to round 2 which was the same. Didn't go for round 3.

Feelin' not prepared but also prepared for code samples and tech interviews. Can companies just believe that we are capable of building awesome shit & hire us?! You feel me?

I can't be arsed with jobs that mention tensorflow alone as their main tech.

If your company is willing to use tf and not keras, then y'all probably didn't understand what you're dealing with to begin with.

*Red flags and sirens in distance for bad designs*

I work in tech support right now... 80% of my job is waiting around for presenters to show up to events and end up not wanting any tech.

Anyone elsd burned the fuck out?

I fucking am!

What is another career in tech I can move to from developer? Don’t mind going back to school to pick up new skills.

Not even on devrant anyone like I was.

!rant
So, my friend and I want to start a small business. For that, we will need an online shop. Since it's not happening tomorrow, I figured I could take the time and build it myself.
However, I've never done anything of the sorts, so... where do I start?
I don't have any specific tech stack in mind, I am new to it all.
Help?

This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:

The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...

The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.

I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...

Just want to share some admiration to all the tech youtubers out there who write and read out their scripts with the amount of information and technicalities...

Been working on a script for about a week now and holy shit it is not easy at all!

Great.

My mother got a "smarter than her phone" (her words).

Now she's realized she can text me inchorent questions about their home network at all hours.

PM:"I don't care how you dev build it, those are tech details, not my business, I only care about the business domain."

sounds familiar?

this is the main reason why so many projects failed, can you image any professional use such an asshole statement in other industry.

In all the companies i worked at so far, never seen any employee (in any department) above age 50..maybe the ceo or some lawyer, but thats it.
Where do all the 50+ ppl go in tech?
I'm not sure the tech world will be what it is now even in 10 years.. but I'm just wondering do any of u guys think/worry about where we'll work when we stop being young and cool?
Looks like it's either u start your own business, which not everyone can, or..
what is option B exactly?!?

The sentence we all dread:
"My stereo (insert any other piece of home tech...) is acting up, call ______ he works with computer's he'll know what to do"

ME: "Take it to the service shop, I'm a programmer not an electrical engineer"

After that you can't help but think they're thinking you just suck at your job... "pff he know's nothing"

I just realized something. So my company's whole release process and code management now run on mainstream tech products: Atlassian, Jetbrains, IBM and not in house/vendor crap

Boss: not upgrading Angular v1 or rewriting everything on the modern tech stack.

But we need to resolve all the security issues we're getting flagged on.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Dear" tech lead... Editing Cloud Function with GCP's online IDE is not equivalent to versioning your code. Use a proper VCS dammit. It's fucking sprint 3 already... Ugh

!rant
Windows sux (still, much more usable for me than Linux on a day-to-day / fixing-my-neighbors'-tech basis), but Linux Subsystem on Windows...?
I just found out about it, and installed Ubuntu on my main Win10 laptop...

I'm not even mad - this is awesome!

I actually learned alot about software development after getting a job and doing it for a year, but not in my 4 years of B. Tech Education.

- Frustrated Indian

Everytime i buy any electronics , my brother would suggest me to buy latest ones with the newest configuration . His logic was " If you buy a not-so new tech now.. It will outdate fast and you will end up with an outdated one soon.. So the extra 10K is worth considering that " .

Considering the development trend i personally think it is useless to invest in electronics unless necessary . Everytime i buy an electronic product , within 2 or 3 months i find the same good at almost 75% of the price.. So with tech prices falling like this.. i think it is worth saving that money instead of the cutting edge tech which i wont need for another 2 years .

Thoughts ?

(The cousin brother i mentioned does this everytime he buys a phone and ends up changing the phone 4 times faster than me.. and the use case is similar to mine if not worse..)

I realized something. No matter what tech i use to code a project there will always be a dev to take a shit on it

someone will recommend to use redis, after i use redis some other dev will trash me for having such a poor choice and recommend me socket.io

Then if i use socket.io some 3rd dev will trash me cause thats not the right way of building stuff and recommend me kafka

If i use kafka some 4th dev will trash me and say why i dont use angular

If I use angular 5th dev will trash me for not using react

If i use react 6th dev will trash me for not using nextjs

Tired of this bullshit

I'll use whatever tech i need. If i dont know what to use ill ask and take the first suggestion. I'll just build a saas and when it starts earning money ill pay other devs to refactor and scale the hell hole (which wont be cause i write good code following solid principles and not spaghetti). Much simpler solution than wrecking my head with decisions of tech stack

Best thing about being a dev?

Going on Roblox and some kid claims he was a hacker, then you tell him why he isn't and does not know any of the tech terms you use. Then again why am I playing roblox

Tired of chasing an elusive architecture and finding good community that helps promote it. Basically:

- Not CRUD
- Not MVC
- More like CQRS; commands and queries represent use cases
- Event Sourced; event log is source of truth, everything else is a cached projection
- Functional Domain Design; not DDD; focus on immutability and simplicity
- Functional in general; less OO
- More focus on domain concepts rather than tech concepts
- Domain can be used through CLI, API, or SDK
- UI is just another client to the API
- Authorization is ABAC, graph-based access control

I'm looking for a fucking unicorn.

wow, to think about it , I have not been really 'excited' about stuff for last few years...
Now its like yeah, this is all a rat race...gotta learn this , learn that ,learn everything...but not really excited about it..Maybe feel like a thug-life boss if I get paid or recognised for my work...

However this is a race I am happy to run in,I like coding, like nerdy/smart tech jokes , like learning new stuff, and like my programming life.
A day without opening my laptop is really a day I feel sad but not the other way round.

How to impress the extent of your power over your employees and partners:

1. Make the tech team spend inordinate amounts of effort to investigate someone stealing an almost worthless piece of junk, to make an example for the rest of the workforce.

2. Complain in "secret" meetings that the tech team is not up to the task of delivering the project.

3. Announce that the project will probably, but not certainly, be shut down.

bruuuuuuuuuh I got an email asking for tech LatinX people to join for a talk on our problems facing x shit in tech.

As a Mexican American (I am more American than Mexican, but whatever) and your standard gun tootin Texan: fuck you, do not call me LatinX

I know both English and Spanish (and other languages that won't disclose here because fk u) well and believe that adding such buuuuuuuullshit to my beautiful Spanish is utter nonsense.

I sent it to the network admin and ask him to block them fuckers from ever sending emails my way ever again as spam.

LatinX....what a fucking joke

Just happened today!

So since this morning we've been trying to get our website ready for UAT deployment Monday next week, even though we only were told of it yesterday. Since we had some critical merge conflicts to unscrew on our dev branch for promoting to UAT, we sent a warning to everyone on our hipchat group

Dev team: @all please don't commit anything to the repo for an hour or so while we get the branch good for dev and uat build

Tech lead: ok

That should be enough warning, right? Surely our tech lead, who has been piling up our scope creep trying to please our stakeholders, understands well enough not to do a single goddamn thing on our repo until we sort it out, right?

Nope.

10 minutes later our tech lead pushes several changes that not only break our builds but also remove all our configuration transformations. I just stormed out of the office to avoid sending her on a one-way ticket to slapsville and fuckyoutown. Geez goddamn louise.

Being a Tech Co-Founder is both boon and a bane.

Boon: You know how to build it.

Bane: You just start building without thinking.

We often crave I will be using Redis😍😍, Kafka, Load Balancer, Muti Layer Neural Net

"Dude", Whatever you are building does anyone want it or not. Tell me that first.

The tech being rude about my RSA token not working locking me out trying to use a USB override stick...he got so mad he just walked out 😂

I was moved from a team I loved where I felt my tech leads were competent, where my tech leads valued my skills and my manager was fabulous and excelled at making sure everyone had the resources they needed and was rewarded for good work, to a team where my tech leads are inconpetent and constantly treat all the junior devs with condescension. Additonally, although my new manager seems nice and has good intentions, she is focused too much on the results of work and not the morale of her team. Consequently, she consistently ignores the negative feedback that is given about the tech leads because "the tech lead gets the results"

Boss(non-technical) complains we are behind the schedule he set without consulting the tech team, the complains we don't all(including BAs) don't do code review. CHOOSE!

*Note: I am not bashing code review*

Anyone else here suffering under a tech lead who instead functions as a business analyst and ignores their dev process in favor of stakeholder demands?

Case in point: our tech lead actually said in our latest retrospective (yes, we're running on Agile) that we should align our schedule to business. So wtf are we even doing Agile sprints for effs sake (this we did not say for fear of losing our jobs)

Wtf is happening to tech security... Last 4 months

All WiFi is now crackable. .. in short amount of time
Windows . . Annihilated with this new bug might not be fixable... and work back on all of them
iPhones cracked ...
Linux dirty cow ...
Android been suffering.
And everyone knows Mac's security is joke ...
Finger prints ... Made pointless on everything.

Literally all going to shit .. 😐

And I know how to do all this... It's all out in the open not even hard to find

Co-workers with low commitment to a project are the worst to have. I am willing to trade technical depth for commitment in a team member any fucking day! Tech is easy to learn, work ethics not so much!

Being the only developer in your circle of non-tech friends is weird 😕.
And why are most female programmers not appealing 🤦‍♂️.
The beautiful ones are usually clueless and can't get into a ”deep programming concept ”conversation.
I guess I can't eat my cake and have it at a time.

I currently work in data analysis.

Yesterday one of the colleagues working in a different department came to me asking if I could fix his malfunctioning headphone set :/

Bad English aside I am so sick of incompetent customer service reps. Holy shit it's like they will hire anyone these days.

Here just read from this script and not the code version. That's all the tech you need to know right here on this single piece of paper.

Fucking incompetent bastards need to go work at a non technical job like Burger King because tech support is beyond them.

They'd probably fuck that up to. That's a completely different rant, those who can't even do fast food jobs right. At that point just go get on disability because your fucked.

To be fair I will occasionally get someone in the tech support sector who knows their shit but it's few and far between and its always a welcome surprise.

Can you all show me some of your favorite business cards? Tech or not, doesn't matter.

Thanks!

I told PM that a feature is only ready on Thursday. He goes and tells Tuesday to the business owner. Comes to me and says make it happen. Nope, sorry. Not going to happen.
Non-tech people should not make commitments. I long for the day their jobs become obsolete.

I suppose I'm lucky.. My family, though not exceedingly tech savvy, are all very proud of me, and support my line of work.

The other week a Comcast tech was out to install some new equipment. He was unsure whether an antenna could be placed outdoors, so he asked on a Comcast tech group chat. Within seconds he received a response from another tech: "Google it". It just amused me slightly that it's not just developers who get this response, and also made me a little bit mad because I know the frustration of being told to Google something even when I am asking in the right place.

A coversation with a classmate:
(We embraced Node and Javascript but he had no interest at all)

Me: So what tech stack do we use for this project?
Him: You guys decide... I'm fine with anything.
Me: So you're fine with any tech we use? No opinions?
(We need confirmation from all members but he, being the uninterested person he was, gave half-hearted replies)
Him: I'm actually a ROR person, not interested in node.
Us: ....

Dude we understand that you prefer ruby but at least help us decide! We studied all of this together... sheesh

Hey so Father's Day is coming up, any ideas for gifts? He's like 60 and though a dev, not really a tech type.

Tales from University Tech Support:

Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30

Obviously not a Math Major...

Used to work tech support at a school.
The sheer amount of people that would come from buildings away to ask for help with the mouse or keyboard not working was weird. The annoying part, most have probably guessed, was that it was always just unplugged. Teacher's did this too.