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First time I heard a client say: "You've done a phenomenal job, but you've over-delivered. You should have come to me. We could have worked it out." after we had to ask for an extension.
That's a keeper.1 -
Heroku: "You've used up your 550 free ours"
Me: "oh snap"
*Opens discord*
*pings bot*
Bot: "pong"
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thanks Heroku3 -
When you've been getting lots of comments on your pull request and have to keep asking for approval.
7 -
Every teacher of every course ever:
"This will be the hardest course you've ever done"
"This will be the most fun course you've ever done"
"You will need to put in 40hrs to even get a sufficient mark"
hah! don't make me laugh!6 -
devRant, you've missed the opportunity to swap desk ducks for little humans. Still awesome idea though.
6 -
That moment when you've been trying to fix a bug for hours then suddenly realize you've fixed it hours ago but just didn't clear the cache
5 -
-Registers on a site to use the product
-Opens email
"Our weekly news digest"
"Our daily news digest"
"You haven't used our products for 15 minutes. We miss you"
"Would you recommend our products to a friend"
"If you like this, you'll LOVE this"
"Here's a promo code for something you don't need"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
FUCK OFF YOU ANNOYING CUNTS15 -
When you've been a developer for 13 years and new kid comes in and shows you stuff you don't understand #kidsthesedays3
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My biggest tip to new developers? Embrace your ignorance, don't be embarrassed by it. Let it inspire you to learn as much as you can, let it humble you into asking questions when you're stuck, let it prepare you to change within an industry that is anything but static. Admitting you don't know something isn't a weakness, it's an opportunity 😃6
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When you've spent 16 hours out of 24 programming and realise that you've not eaten, drunk, or even pooped. Well, that just happened5
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When you realize you've been practicing C++ for over a year and you're still browsing "Begginer" blogs.
4 -
You know you've been watching Silicon Valley too much lately when you drop your food and yell "mother fuck.. Jian Yang."4
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When you've been working on a problem for hours and realize you just got super excited because you got DIFFERENT error message.
3 -
Headphones in, music up, full concentration on coding. So much that you've forgotten what the weather is like & SOMEONE DISTURBS YOU!
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When you've been debugging for an hour because an element keeps disappearing in Chrome and you find its because of Adblock :/4
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That awesome moment when you're hailed as God Of Internet, and all you've done is just restart the router :D1
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Learning regex is like finding a scalpel when thus far you've been trying to dissect a frog with a chainsaw.4
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devRanters: WORDPRESS SUCKS, AAARGH!
Me: You've got a good alternative?
devRanters: Nah, not really.
Me: 😑21 -
You've perhaps heard of Blue Screen Of Death in Windows. But how about GREEN screen of death?
Driver issues goddammit.
8 -
You know you've been developing for a long time when you don't just write code but also wear it haha
5 -
DevRant: You've scrolled past our devRanting limit. Please stare at this screen and take a moment to reflect on your decisions.
4 -
When you've been coding for what seems like an hour and when you finally look up it's dark outside 😛
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Decided to stop lurking and sign up. Hi devRant. Thanks for all the sanity conservation you've provided me.3
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That feeling when you find out a client you've done work for, for several months hadn't payed us this whole time...
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!rant
I've installed devRantron on my Mac and I gotta say it's perfect. Keep going guys, you've done amazing work!1 -
Thank you @dfox and @trogus for the awesome service you've built! And thank you for making my life less stressful! :)
2 -
When you've walked into a room and forget why you're there.
That's me when I've opened a new file in Atom. -
"You must update Messenger as it's been too long since you've updated!
Time since last update: -903 years"
oh
well ok5 -
You know you've become a true developer when you see this and immediately think about Git forking.
3 -
This just came in the mail. Apparently TurboTax was bought by AOL...
I don't even remember the last time I had a computer, work or personal, that had a CD drive in it
6 -
!Rant
The moment you understand something, that you read the documentation instead of searching for the exact answer to your problem. -
There is nothing quite as satisfying as when you solve a bug that you've been working on for literally the entire day4
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Nothing pisses me off more, than when you've attended interviews and you never hear back 😡
It's just common curtersy!6 -
As a student on platforms like these, hearing people talk about languages and concepts you've never heard of
6 -
> "you've been slacking off in development go do some damn work"
> 20 commits since yesterday
> guy isn't even the project owner1 -
PM: you've gotta meet up with (DEV) for an answer. He's a genius.
Me: <looks at script> UUOC. Your hero's a dipshit. -
When you have the amazing refactoring idea you've been waiting for... but it will be hours before your back at a computer.1
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When you're asked to edit some code you've never written... Feels like Alice in Wonderland... completely lost...
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Clients be like: what you've only completed the login system in one hour I thought you where a programmer.4
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Soo why the fuck am I receiving notifications about someone from my contacts is available on messenger, when you don't fucking have the permissions to read my contacts? I'm looking at you Facebook Messenger.
That's some new level of ignorance. "Oh I see you didn't gave me the permissions to read your contacts. Worry not my friend just let me take a secret peek of it. I will be discreet, I promise!"... Well FUCK YOU!
P.S.: I only use that piece of garbage because unfortunately some of my friends are only available there... Time to convince them to switch.6 -
What people don't get about drinking and coding is this.
Coding and development is very similar to art. You've to be creative in your solutions. You've withdraw all emotions and concentrate. And you've to find your own creativity.
You have drunk artists all the time, why not drunk coders?11 -
- Think YOU'VE got a personality complex? I'm a software engineer who majored in marketing.
- Think YOU'VE got a phobia about failing? I wrote a book on developing for Google Glass. And tech edited another on Hailstorm.
- Think YOU'VE got self-confidence issues? I had a run of 7 straight rejections by companies in the Fortune 500.
- Think YOU'VE got reservations about flexing your certifications? I held a MCP in FrontPage.
- Think YOU'VE got paranoia about your degree? My MBA's from the University of Phoenix.
- Think YOU'RE a glutton for punishment? I - Think Android Content Providers are a good idea.
- Think YOU'VE got a confusing skill set? A hiring manager told me I was "too passionate about technology to work here at Microsoft".
- Think YOU'VE got issues with intellectual property? I was given a cease-&-desist order for the first domain I registered.
- Think YOU'VE got false bravado? I had over 400,000 followers on Google+.
While all of these are hilarious quips and great social ice breakers, they're all 100% true. Enjoy your day. ;)
15 -
when you get to Friday and realized you've had almost no time to code this entire week. There is always next week.1
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That moment when, after you've spent days trying to refactor your code to be clean and readable, you look at what you've made and you honestly feel like you actually made things worse than before.1
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Combine multiple open source softwares.
Tweak it a bit
Voila! You've a 100 dollar software ready to be sold.8 -
!rant
you know you've reached the limit of your role when you've started rebuilding the tools mentally because you're not allowed access to the source code (yes it's an odd setup, yes I'm looking for proper dev roles instead of this technical consultant halfway house) -
The moment when your phone tries to correct "got" or "get" into "git", then you've been working too much...3
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That feeling when you've been at home for 20 minutes and already want to go back to work. Wait, no. Reverse that.1
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telling your girlfriend's younger brother you've hacked his Minecraft account is evil but his reaction is priceless
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Best part of intern developper : that feel when you present what you've done to the users, and they're fond of it.
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Driving though Malmö today is like when you've got five stars in GTA. Blue blinking lights and roadblocks everywhere.30
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When you've worked days on certain implementations and no one realizes all the work required for the few features. Or when you've only built the framework and basis buy everyone feels the need to critique and tell you what to add. Needing a devRant stress ball Rn..1
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onEnlightControllerActionPostDispatchBackendPluginManager
Who needs docs if you've got such speaking method names.2 -
That confusing moment when you've spent two hours browsing devrant.
You feel like you've wasted your time, but at the same time know it was worth it.1 -
You know you've grown when you get your answers from the source code directly, instead of stack overflow
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When you've got shit to complete and decide to work hard but your computer thinks Nope and starts trolling you
5 -
Suddenly remembering that you're in a two week game jam and you've only got 3 days to put something together!
4 -
If you're having merge problems I feel bad for you son, you've got 99 problems but my branch ain't one!1
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To the one who did a degree:
How mush do you use the algorithms you've learnt in the college/University?14 -
If you've 3D printed your own drone, I'd love to hear your experience. I'm shopping for a printer at the moment.3
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That feeling when you've been on holidays for 15 days and the `$git pull origin master` take hours...3
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When you've worked on a project for a whole week, and finaly verify it against the hardware and everything works!
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Which is the secret rule that you've learned in your (dev) life?
My favourite one is "it works? Don't touch it."5 -
That feeling when you fix a bug after you've been working on it for an hour or two.... Ahhh.. Sweet relief.
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Do you ever feel so down that you realize you've been writing shit code which does nothing productive and you've been just reinventing the wheel? Like, being in a confused state of being doubtful and afraid of being outdated coz you don't know any future proof tech? I'm in the final year of CS undergrad and this feeling sucks.3
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You've got the perfect architecture lined up, a great idea about how to transition and you're about to start refactoring. Then it hits you. You've got 10 clients running your code in production and you'll have to migrate their data to the new structures, from the blob to each new microservice datastore. For each release. FML.1
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The AMD song, to the tune of Sam Riegel's DnD Beyond jingle:
You got the perfect casing
Its drive bays and supplies
But you need something to run your stuff
Cause you're late for that deadline
You click open a web page
You've heard about Phoronix test suite
And now you see a red company rise
In a field of blue and green
It's AMD! (AMD)
Yeah! AMD Radeon!
Yeah! AMD! (AMD)
Yeah! AMD Radeon!
You've got your motherboard
You've got your processors
And you've got Socket AM4!
It's AMD (AMD)
AMD (AMD)
AMD Radeon -
I'd be interested to hear what are some bad development practices you've ran into in your company?13
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Come in, check task list, everything is basically "awaiting confirmation" or "acronyms you've never seen before talking about things that only like 2 people know about" or "check the powerpoint that you've never seen or even knew existed"
Sooooooo home time? Besides, it's POETS day ;).
For those that don't know (Piss Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday)3 -
When you've got so much theory work to do for a Software Engineering final year that you've not actually developed anything for ages!
Can not wait to get to my graduate job!1 -
Once you've conceived children, there is no Ctrl+Z, and once you've met them, there is no Esc, F12, Ctrl+Q or even Alt+F4.9
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when you've taken enough caffeine to get the work done and now you just want to sleep but you can't cuz coffee
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What's the fuzz about stackoverflows homepage?
There is nothing special, as if you've seen all homepages of all forums you visited.^^2 -
Having to give time estimates for custom projects involving functionality unlike anything you've done before - FUCK OFF. How is that possible?!2
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The feeling when getting the one thing you've been working on for hours to work ... HOYL YS HIT!11!!
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It's a nice feeling. Even if the commits are rather small.
Edit: Should say "you've pushed" rather than "you've commited".
2 -
You've heard of Common Lisp! You've heard of Swift!
Now, it is time for Common Swift!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...1 -
Dear people who rant about it her people's rants and claim a part of you dies. Stfu and get over it.
Now look at what you've done. You've got me ranting about you ranting about other people's rants. So meta -
When you've fully set up a CMS for a project and you still get messages asking to edit the content... 😕3
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Longest you've been stuck on a programming related problem where you didn't have anyone that could help you?4
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Quick questions for all the devs out there
What was the weirdest dev thing you've done/tried to do in the "real" world?
And/or
What was the weirdest "real" world thing you've done/tried to do while developing?1 -
When you've not done anything with react-router for a while and the latest version is so very very different 😫4
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Any NODE-JS.pdf available to learn a bit deeper.
Links would be great.
Names, if you've downloaded before.
Thanks in advance.12 -
When you've been pair programming to help solve a collegue's problem, only to come back to a cold chair again.1
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*NSFW* Big up to all you developers that work from home... I hope you've managed to overcome *that* stage. https://youtu.be/KGg1567fzTY2
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When you've been away for a while and you still understand your code...
[thor_im_still_worthy.jpg]2 -
What's the funniest, coolest, programmer slang you've heard?
I love the Rubberduck, and Yoda Condition.. cracks me up :P3 -
"I'm gonna use your branch, you've done it better than we have it now"
https://i.imgflip.com/ggywy.jpg/...2 -
Am I right in thinking that the ++ count in your profile page only references rants you've upvoted, and not comments you've upvoted? 😢2
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When you document an entire infrastructure layout and your boss says, "ok.....let's analyze what you've done..."
1 -
when you've been working on a project for months, and your client changes everything a week before it's due
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Those days that you don't remember shit about what you've learnt on a class back at the University. FML2
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If you've ever worked with Rails I think you know the problems that can be formed by the AssetsPipeline : c
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What's the most modern game you've ever played on (GNU/ if you insist)Linux?
What distro?
How? (Wine, VM, ...)
HW specs?10 -
Question for the community: what's the longest time you've had to wait until you've heard back for a dev job application?1
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When you're so busy with work that you haven't had time to shower in a week, your eyes have purple sockets, you've had 20 hours of sleep over 5 days and you've missed an entire week worth of e-mails.
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in a similar vein to the week's question, who is your favorite developer you've worked with and why?1
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That moment just before release to production where you've tested it a thousand times and suddenly encounter a couple of bugs.
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Hello fellow Ranters. Have you made a portfolio? We'd love to see what awesome things you've accomplished. Please share your portfolios
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What's the most interesting project you've worked on based on API of the internet geants (Facebook, Google, Amazon, etc..) ?!2
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You know you've mastered a framework when you can help the offshore dev with errors and bugs without looking at anything.
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To all my sysadmins/devops, what's your opinion on GoAccess (if you've used it or are currently using it)?
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