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Anyone else used Stack Overflow for many years without ever asking or answering a single question?21
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Updated description!
Fuck Wordpress in the ass with a new kind of cms. Make devs happy with clean code. And Laravel53 -
So a friend of Mine asked me to check their Mail server because some emails got lost. Or had a funny signature.
Mails were sent from outlook so ok let's do this.
I go create a dummy account, and send/receive a few emails. All were coming in except one and some had a link appended. The link was randomly generated and was always some kind of referral.
Ok this this let's check the Mail Server.
Nothing.
Let's check the mail header. Nothing.
Face -> wall
Fml I want to cry.
Now I want to search for a pattern and write a script which sends a bunch of mails on my laptop.
Fuck this : no WLAN and no LAN Ports available. Fine let's hotspot the phone and send a few fucking mails.
Guess what? Fucking cockmagic, no funny mails appear!
At that moment I went out and was like chainsmoking 5 cigarettes.
BAM!
It hit me! A feeling like a unicorn vomiting rainbows all over my face.
I go check their firewall. Shit redirected all email ports from within the network to another server.
Yay nobody got credentials because nobody new it existed. Damn boy.
Hook on to the hostmachine power down the vm, start and hack yourself a root account before shit boots. Luckily I just forgot the credentials to a testvm some time ago so I know that shit. Lesson learned: fucking learn from your mistakes, might be useful sometimes!
Ok fucker what in the world are you doing.
Do some terminal magic and see that it listens on the email ports.
Holy cockriders of the galaxy.
Turns out their former it guy made a script which caught all mails from the server and injected all kind of bullshit and then sent them to real Webserver. And the reason why some mails weren't received was said guy was too dumb to implement Unicode and some mails just broke his script.
That fucker even implented an API to pull all those bullshit refs.
I know your name "Matthias" and I know where you live and what you've done... And to fuck you back for that misery I took your accounts and since you used the same fucking password for everything I took your mail, Facebook and steam account too.
Git gut shithead! You better get a lawyer15 -
My non techie girlfriend :) <3
-----------
She: Hey I am getting a new phone!
Me: which one?
She: Apple I phone
Me: oh cool!
She: yea I am really excited. I can't wait to have more space on my phone. I can't have anything on my current phone.
Me: yup.
She: new phone will have a lot of storage space. Its going to be 64MB. Imagine all the things I can do with it now.
Me: Hey, the 90's called, they want their storage sizes back.
*hilarious laughter ensues*
Dat iPhone crowd doe. Android 4 life.13 -
Fuck you devrant, pseudo funny remotely devrelated things get more upvotes than juicy outbursts of rage16
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I need a site with seo and advertisement.
The page should make about 750€ per month. I will only pay after site is complete and pays out.
You will get 150€5 -
My first boss. He sat next to me yelling “Think before you code“, “Hands away from the keyboard“ and stuff like that at me while doing my first few codings ever. He even made me cry from the pressure. Afterwards he bought me a muffin and told me he wants me to be a better programmer than he ever was14
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Had a client on the phone with an extremely heavy Turkish (I think so, not entirely sure) accent who was hardly understandable but I kept polite and tried really hard to understand his questions.
Didn't go so well and he started to get annoyed and rude as well and asked me why I kept asking him to repeat his questions.
Told him that due to his heavy accent I had some trouble understanding him but that we'd take it slow and that I was trying my best.
He didn't take that well and called me a fucking racist (or, a 'cancer racist (dutch: 'kanker racist') but this sounds nicer).
C: (remember, heavy accent) "Ben jij kanker racist ofzo?" (are you cancer racist or something?)
Me: sorry, kan je dat herhalen? Ik verstond je niet helemaal goed door het accent, excuses! (Sorry, could you repeat that? I didn't quite get that due to the heavy accent, apologies!)
*BOOOOOOOM*
Client exploded in my ear xD.
Totally worth it! I'm all for helping and tried my best but if you're going to disrespect me, fuck off.8 -
Found a private api key on a github project. Created a pull request with key changed to “TH1S5HOULDB3SECR3T!iMBECIL5“ comment was “security fix“ i wonder if they accept3
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This is dedicated to all Webdevs, especially those WordPress fanboys.
I was reflecting on some things since I do more frequent freelance jobs at the time. And I have to admit: people are fucking crazy.
I had some serious talk with customers and some serious talk for people I work as subsidiary.
The average customer thinks a nice webpage costs I'm 9-50 bucks. They got some shitty Webhosting for 1-5$/month including domain and think they are set.
They have unclear visions about what they actually want, it all boils down to "I like the design". I made a page for someone who just posted images, no text nothing and I told him a trillion times NEEDS some text, even a fucking picture description would be sufficient, else he'll never score anything at google.
Ofc it got denied, now he's bitching how nobody finds the site when they google his name. The other thing is that Wordpress became the solution for everything.
I'm a fucking certified magento developer and I hate magento with a passion. Magento is an overabstracted clusterfuck and believe me, I did the certification I had to learn more than average about the core. But damn, don't slap woocommerce on everything.
Narrowninded fucktards, the cheap out of the box solution isn't always the best.
Don't cry if you got hacked because you were too dumb to upgrade your wordpress. Don't tell me to do some "enhancements" on a server you probably share with 100 other uses. I can't fix your Webserver with your shitty ftp account.
I also hate WordPress with a burning passion. Cum guzzling cavetroll it is. It has it usages, but don't rely on a core So small every kind of extra functionality has to somehow tinkered on it and then expect it to work flawlessly and for 10$ price.
Of course you can buy a theme that, if it would have been special made for you cost 800$ or more, but it wasn't. It just looks like it from the outside. If you want customization you are at the mercy of the option it provides. I can't even tell how many times i spent whole evenings explaining how their shiny template works. Just to do some crazy shit with JavaScript like rearranging domelements because it didn't work as expected.
I still stay to my word. Nothing great has been nor will be created with a Wordpress core. Don't tell me how some great stuff has been achieved. Or wait, please do so. But before you do think about if that wouldn't been faster, cheaper, more reliable , etc... if done with a framework like symphony or laravel... or even zend or cake.
And that brings me back to the point:
Is cheap and "out of the box" really what you need and desire? As customer and as developer?6 -
Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
I don't like the use of `motherboard`.
We should change it to `parentboard` instead
That way its more inclusive30 -
I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!
What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?
But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!16 -
Just upgraded to almost the exact same keyboard, only it has back-lighting 😅
Same manufacturer, keyswitch, layout and general appearance 😜
11 -
I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.7
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I just told a colleague of mine, and worst programmer i got to know, to call me the alchemist.
Because I'm the one turning his shit to gold -
A CMS raping WordPress so hard up the ass till there is no tomorrow. I hate that bastardized piece of fuck. “Hey I want you to fix my page and its wordpress. I pay 20 bucks.“ Well fuck you too sir. Wordpress is no cms you wanna be coders. Get back to your fucking photoshop and design something original! Every fucking wp page looks the same. Every “nice feature“ is some kind of monkeypatched workarround. No problem i set preview pictures for every post just to enable some weird slider to function.
I also love those buttfucked files with just a “require foo“ which also just requires “bar“. Drop that fuck. Implement autoloading. Nobody uses php4 anymore step into the future. “easy to learn“ fuck me and fuck you untill you vomit jizz! Clusterfucked spaghetticode thats easy, easy to put another rotten load of clusterfuck on top. Also those security features. I put an empty index.php to prevent directory traversal. N I C E! Stop using wordpress as CMS, its a blog engine. Nothing great has every been written on top of wordpress and never will. I dare you to deny everything related to it and if you are one of those designer guyd, you can gargle my jizz you fucknut!
Starting 2017 i will start a counter and rape every 10th Wordpress which gets abused as cms i encounter into oblivion on their 0,99$ webhosting shit.
Fuck this I'm so mad about that crap17 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.
I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??6 -
Landed my first grad role as a software developer!
Node, c#, VB, xamarin, swift!
30k!
Life is good folks25 -
Got that colorchanging cup from my girlfriend. I love her and the cup, but.the indentation infuriates me
3 -
Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone
- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server
- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates
- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects
- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts
- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers
- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually
- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle16 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
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Around 27 hours at new customer location.
They had a server failure due to incompetence.
They had fired their own IT guy and called us 6 months later because the server stopped responding.
First diagnostic. 2 drives are dead in a raid 5 with one hot spare. Raid controller then proved to be broken once the disks was replaced.
Waiting for new raid controller and installing.
Backup non existing, no one changed dat tape during the 6 months without IT. The tape was just a transparent plastic band, no media left.
Raid config is stored in static ram on controller, no backup!
Several hours in tech support to find out how to rebuild raid config from existing disks.
Proves to be impossible to rebuild raid set due to some checksum failures.
More hours with support to enable some diagnostic read only mode to mirror low level content to external drive.
Then many more hours to copy parts of the tree until it gets an error, restart after that and go on.
In the end we got around 70% back.
During this time I manage to be in contact with the raid manufacturers all support centers, one in europe, one in the us and one in Taiwan, switching each time one if them closed for the night.
The customer later declined a steady support contract due to us being to expensive ;)
Some just don’t want to learn.6 -
Was scrolling some old photos and fell on that gift my bf gave me at Christmas 2016. The cover was so perfectly done, I thought for a few seconds it was a real special edition made by Nintendo just for the lolz...
Dat Moon Moon
3 -
“Never,never, never, NEVER eat raw userinput“
Referring to stuff like “insert into foo (bar) values ($_POST[username])“2 -
Let me tell you a story.
Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.
With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.
So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!
It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.
To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.
As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!7 -
Preface: My company took over another company. A week ago I inherited their IT.
"IT" !!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!
Their server stood at an ex employees homeoffice. So I drove to her and she had 0 idea about IT. Server was just "Running". I tore that fuck down and saw an aweful lot of Hentai in all home folders.
WTF?!
Not enough, their crm was a makroinfested access table. Shit was protected so I couldn't even edit the makros. The retarded fucktards hardcoded paths to serverside folder \\fuck\you\hard\cavetroll
Just so that server will never see the light of my domain! Damn you? Mothership of sisterfucking dickgirls!10 -
I asked a question at stackoverflow related to MySQL. I tried to explain everything a good as I could.
Now i go for a cigarette and expect a -5 when I come back....5 -
God damn fucking shit.
Now I know again why I don't do apps.
This is a app as simple as can be:
Enter a link, click a button, do a http request, download a file.
BUT FUCKING HELL WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED ANDROID?!
I'm not familiar with java but i don't care why is this so freaking unintiutiv to get shit done? Why are there thousands of ways and none works or atleast at a easy way? Make an object for this, make an object for that...
THIS IS RETARDED.
In PHP a simple "file_get_contents" would do the job. I were even down for some curl shenanigans if it were an easy implementation. BUT GOD DAMN.
URL url = new URL("http://fuckinghardcoded.com")
Oh no can't compile because that MIGHT be an invalid URL. Ok try catch this or just tell the rest of the Programm to watch out for this bad boy cause he might throw a MalformedURLException.
Ditch that and try volley. Everything is document except how to fire that queue! Does it do that by itself? Do I really have to do an override to a function while declaring? CMON ON I'M A WEBDEV IS THIS TRYING TO DO A FUCKING CALLBACK AND IS THIS TRYING TO BE AN ANONYMOUS FUNCTION??? Why is this so frustrating and confusing? I'm also mad at myself this is dropdead simple shit but I can't get it to work. Fuck this, fuck java , fuck android and fuck myself10 -
I'm starting to hate js. Every library needs atleast 1000 other libs. I just blew the node_modules folder to 100mb with just one npm require17
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Me: alrighty, a full weekend of development!
Friends: oi come out tonight, we're going to a night club tonight!
Me: ah fuck!
Got to love dat' social life6 -
Today for the first time I answered to myself on stackoverflow asking a question for wich I posted a solution 2 years ago...
Dat feel :D
2 -
I recently ranted so much about languages but here it goes
JS we need to talk. BECAUSE YOU GOT FAT AND UGLY STUPID BITCH! Dumb piece of bloatware. What even is your problem? Depending on a library for strpad and then blow up like Steve jobs ego. Bastardized fuckfest. I used to like you bro and then you screw me over!
It's like you fuck my wife while I try to fix your car. Why can't you even be usefully on your own anymore? I'd be richer than bill gates if I get a dollar for every damn framework people pull from their asses. Are you writing this fuck while shitting so you can compare colors of your outcome?
Normalize the fucking base, don't add to the bukkakke! bitch is drowning already. Why is everyone jerking of to react and angular? When have YOU written something in vanilla the last time? Why even bother? Remove the core and hardcore every damn framework into the browsers. Guess that saves you 200kb. Oh wait I forgot that's about unminified jQuery.
Now I need to load about 2GB of dependencies, some creating code that puts code in my code to load code out of my code which was generated out of something that remotely resembles JS so every browser is able to execute my fancy shit. But hey, it's fast. And of course there are the fanboys. You are worse than apple fags. You sample your own jizz with your friends in a wine glass. there was a Time it was bad practice to mix logic and view. Now you made it mandatory. "Browser does the rendering" ofc you imbecile pile of fuck don't show me a damn preloader for 1 picture and 20 lines of text. Who fucked your brain so hard?
So react seems to be the cool kid now, then I tell someone I know angular it's like showing up in a pikachu onsie to a formal dinner with the queen.
I used to love you girl. I loved how we could dirty things together. Now you are like a pig. Please loose weight bby the sight of you disgusts me nowadays2 -
When it keeps happening every time but you're too lazy to fix it because you always remember it at 7am when you want to close the computer and go get some sleep...
Ugh...
1 -
I spent more than an hour trying trying to debug why two functions were always returning undefined. I even put in conditional breakpoints and executed the statements to confirm the logic was correct.
I forgot return.4 -
I installed ArchLinux on my smartphone thanks to termux, and now i kinda feel like a god, but don't know what to do.
I'm bored.
9 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
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See, static typing? that shit is for putos. You think you're so cool with your advanced intellisense being able to tell you "yo....dat shit ain't the type you think it is" or your compiler telling you "yo dumbass, you fucked this parameter up in here, you are doing <x> when in reality you should be doing #@$@#$@!<X at line !@#@#$#>"
pfffft static typing. Such a pansy ass thing to worry about.
Picture us, working outside of the safety net of static typing, as jungle explorers, walking slowly, with a machete in hand and our other hand clutched tightly at our hip pistol, not knowing what to shoot at, but eagerly prepared for when shit fucks up because whatever the fuck you did was not properly safeguarded by a compiler to tell you that you fucked up, even if the compiler message is unintelligible (looking at you C and C++)
We is men here, we is brave retarded adventurers.
As our sanity blips into oblivion and we look at our code that has no sort of type checking expecting our shitty intellisense extensions to protect us....
Edit: if you can't understand the sarcasm in here and the plea for sanity then you are obviously a retard and have no place in the world of development21 -
I think my productivity at work seriously went up when I discovered this site with custom noise generators. Blocks out my coworkers, and I can pretend it's raining all the time. Perfect for coding!
http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/...2 -
Heroku Free Dyno Hours (In theory)
-----------
Me: My hours is out
Heroku: Sorry fam they have to die
(force slep until next month)
Me: nuu-
-----------
Heroku Free Dyno hours (Actual)
-----------
Me: My hours is out
Heroku: I don't care dude, nothing will happen. Just leave it as it is11 -
Major update went good through the IT side.
Somehow on a different department, some moron botched up what he had to do (he has a technical role, but he is no programmer or analyst or anything like that and even though he is an admin (with big fucking quotes) no one here would call him so.
He fucks his shit up, and the DBA and myself have to go and fix it. Fine, whatever.
Why am I ranting? Because this bitch sent an email tagging half the board and every other VP stating that it was I.T's fault this happened. Somehow, she had forgotten that she had tagged me into that email since she tagged the Web Developer section email.
I did not give two flying fucks and in front of everyone called them out on what actually happened. I was polite and used some very non-directed "bitch it was you" comments. But it pissed me off that she did that shit behind I.T's back.
Everyone in that email replied saying thank you.....except for her.
I will slap a hoe, I swear.13 -
Who cares about living longer, with more money and not bzing ill? If I had a wish I'd get my oN room of hyperbolic time so I'd get to finish what I want and do stuff I know it'd take YEARS to do (i.e. read everything DC and Marvel ever released)
But most importantly, I would be able to finish my side projects.
5 -
So my parents got speakers integrated into their monitor. A few years ago (like 3-4) they made me turn off the sound because it annoyed them since all they did were playing some shitty flash games and some office work. Now they needed the sound back on and this is how it happened.
1. Confirm they plugged the right cable in. I know them so I knew that could be a problem
2. Made them download Teamviewer because I know they can't even doubleclick without guidance
Now the juicy part was to tell them they need to turn on sound on the monitor. As I was watching via teamviewer I saw them trying to click on the menu items from said monitor. Took me 5 minutes to explain that their mouse can't do shit on that because they need to navigate with the buttons underneath the monitor.
Turned out they couldnt get things right and I had no idea what they were seeing because they explanations went like "All I can see is Main Menu and Exit." - "Is that really all dad?" "Yes thats all. Main Menu, Brightness and Exit" turnes out the middle part is interchangable like "Brightness, Saturation, etc..."
After 2 hours I gave up and told them to pick up my speakers tomorrow -
Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.3 -
“Commit“ sounds like the german “komm mit“(come with me).
NonDev coworker asked me what “Komm mitting“ is1 -
Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.
In short, coding changed everything for me.
PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer. -
!rant
Hello dear fellow devs, I got some more nice ram and don't need those ram bars anymore. Write why you should receive them and they are on the way. For people outside germany you (unfortunatly) have to cover the shipping costs.
17 -
Can't wait to get my phone screen repaired so I can finnaly get that inverted panda! :-D
Oh wait I'll never be able to afford to fix the screen because Australia hates hiring IT technicians :-)
8 -
Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site4
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When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.
Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!1 -
If I had a company. I would only accept code for application. Grades, gender, age... i couldn't care less7
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TL;DR:
Bunq gave a fitting sentence to a 18 year old for DDoS'ing them.
source(dutch): https://tweakers.net/nieuws/129639/...
dutch:
Fintechbank' Bunq heeft bekendgemaakt dat een 18-jarige man die achter een grootschalige ddos-aanval op de bank zat, zich vrijwillig bij een kantoor van Bunq heeft gemeld. De bank en de man zijn overeengekomen dat hij voor straf een week vrijwilligerswerk bij Amnesty International moet doen.
Fintechbank' Bunq has announced that an 18 year old man has voluntarily reported to be the one behind a big DDoS against the bank. The bank and the man agreed to the sentence of a week of volunteer work for Amnesty intornational.
My addition:
That's how it can be done too!
It's a lot closer to what I see as just punishment for a DDoS compared to going to jail for years.
Bunq it took balls to show such leinancy and I do applaud you for it.5 -
Dat moment when, after some hard work, you can finally delete that abomination your predecessor left you as a present...
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I love doing crawlers to test stuff. Client wanted me to crawl his page for certain errors.... seems i ddossed them2
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Witch hunting:
I just spent the last 90 trying to fix a visual bug with the UI
I made a functional component to render pretty forms with minimal information in React
Turns out some random ass fields were not rendering with their respective lower borders
Refactored the shit out of the components
Actually got them to follow a strict styling
Two cups of coffee later it clicked: everything was perfectly functional, I just have a shitty small monitor and tried zooming in
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, IT'S THE FUCKING BORDER I WAS LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG!
Don't be like me: check les differents view ports5 -
Anxiety sucks.
Clonazepam sucks.
Insomnia sucks.
Maybe coding would be fun again if I just got out of this neurotic rut.🙄
And..... it’s Monday now....7 -
Dat moment when your contact person phones you and ask If you delete the whole Release Folder...
YEAH SURE I WAS IT BECAUSE I LIKE TO WORK ON WEEKEND
Fyi: FTP with one user for everyone - harhar stupid bricks -
There are always three questions i get asked when i tell people I'm a programmer:
Can you take a look at my phone/laptop/pc etc...?
Can you hack?
Whats the green stuff from matrix?3 -
Today I dropped and updated a database to override it with local changes. Turned out the same dB was used by another project.
I just destroyed a week worth of work and content.
Good thing I took a dump before dropping everything. Got it running in 5 Minutes7 -
watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?10
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Dat awkward moment, when you think you’re smart because you made AI that can beat first level of Super Mario Bros, but then you see Google Duplex AI2
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about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
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I can troll all day by opening Devtools on a browser and change <input type=“password“> to <input type=“text“> they think i hacked google, facebook and their email acoount
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Everytime I want to use a well recommended library which last commit was two years ago or longer i get suspicious2
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When our company (past employer) got acquired by another company and everyone got to have a meeting where you got a black or blue envelope. One indicated you were being let go, the other indicated you were being offered an "opportunity" if you would relocate to NJ. What was an awesome company -- they destroyed the soul of it in one day.
Oh well their CEO got let go after a US Congressional investigation earlier this year. Karma, bitch! -
So my real name is jason and I got the habit to use Json as my nickname as a little Dev pun.
I think I overdid it
3 -
Just listened to the podcast, Tim rogus known as "T Rogus" no fuck you! You will stay Trogus for me for all eternity!5
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Computers fear my devaura. Everytime I get called to fix something it magically starts working when I enter the room. 5 Minutes after I leave it broke again.
Repeat like while(true)3 -
Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."
*CLICK*
Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉3 -
You know it's been a good day's work, when you look at the code you've written and part of u just feels like touching yourself.4
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Atlasssian Bitbucket has broken umlauts since version 8.0 ...
https://jira.atlassian.com/browse/...
Ladies and gentleman,
it's the year 2022.
In the internet, dat "Neuland" as Mama Merkel used to say, Atlassian managed to revert back to the good old times of ASCII.
Who needs proper multibyte charset support anyway?
Just display broken shit - as broken as the quality management of that misanthropic chum bucket company called Atlassian.
Oh and the last upgrade to Confluence broke, too.
Was just very needed because of an remote code execution.
Cause you know the usual deal. Oops zero exploit, let's make it public, telling our customers that in cloud their data is safe, otherwise they need to shut off their instances or pray that they have a WAF that can filter strings...
What broke you might ask?
Unique constraint in database, the migration wizard loved to add few extra rows, solution was to fry the rows while instance running, followed by immediate cache drop, otherwise fun started again.
I hate Atlassian.4 -
It’s been so long since I posted but this time it’s juicy again.
I got a coworker, no prio experience but already a year and few months into the job. He’s bad.
Magnitudes of bad!
We’re trying to teach him but to no avail. Everything about him sucks, major ballsack to be exact.
His attitude is to avoid every task, finishes nothing and then starts something new.
„Did you do X like we told you to?“
„No I started on Y, because I thought it [looks better, seems more interesting, thought that X is useless…]“
When you ask him much is done he is always „almost“ finished and needs your help on the „last 5-10%“. Yeah fuck that!
But that guy has a talent, his talent is to always give you technically correct answers which actually are complete bullshit.
„What are you doing at your job?“
„Staring at a screen and typing things.“ dude what?
That guy used the excuse „I can’t do maths“ on everything.
For an exam he had to calculate how long it would take to reach a certain amount if you would get some interest in that every year.
He asked the teacher for the formula. During the exam! And when the teacher didn’t want to give it to him he wrote plainly „can’t do maths“ on the paper and left
His code is of a quality as if he would write his first line in a week and then has the audacity to blame me and the colleagues for not explaining it right.
Ok you might think now we’re teaching him bad, or are too impatient. But honestly if you have to explain how to do a for loop for over about 15 months and get that attitude I think you get the right to be angry. I don’t mind explaining on how things work, even for the hundredth time, but then don’t tell me you understood, go behind my back, complain at a colleague how bad I explained, get explained by him and then do it again until you whored yourself through the whole staff!
It’s like he got the mind swiper from Men in black at home. Every day he hits the reset button.
He had a week of just changing indentation on a html file. Why? Because he wanted to find his style.
Yeah his style
if(a==b){
console.log(a);
}
else {
console.log(b)
}
And to produce code like that it takes him atleast 4 hours of trial and error.
And at the same time he goes arround and boasts what a super good programmer he his and that he can do some project work for them.
How we found out? Because he started working in those projects during work time at the office and asked us how to do things.
And he does so like a complete bastard!
Broken sql query? “No that query is perfect as it is, it’s supposed to show no results! But, just in theory, if I wanted to show some results, what would I need to change?”
I’m so mad about it and pissed on a personal level because he goes around blames everyone and the world for his short comings5 -
swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
A co-worker was running into a little permission issue with some dependencies and my reflex was to say, "chmod dat hoe!".1
-
When thinking back to my first pc im like how da fuck did i survive using dat crap I must've been a very patient guy 10gb hdd, 64mb ram, 700mhz cpu (if dats da correct way to write megahertz) and to top it off 56kb/s dialup internet4
-
Web version of whatsapp requires your phone to work, my phone is dead, fuck me.
They should spend money to make the web version better instead of dat stories shit that no one use8 -
when you read an awesome @practiseSafeHex rant and share it on Slack
OMFG WHAT-THE-ACTUAL-F
this is soooo fucking broken, my eyes now have many relations to periods
shit... @DevRant fix dat...
4 -
So I ordered a blue yeti mic, mic arm and pop filter, to buy from Amazon Australia (the warehouse is a 2 hour drive from my home) it would have cost me $450 and arrived January 18th, I ordered it from Amazon US and paid 208 that includes shipping and import and it's arrives on the 10th.... Come on Amazon are you fucking serious?!6
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!Rant
"The best programming language is C++ because games were made with it" OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Do you guys get this unbelievable dump statement too? I could punch every person who ever said dat 😑 Not is is absolutely wrong, C++ isn't even a got language! It's painfully FUCKING slow!! Why the fuck do people say something before they get their freaking brain to work! 😑😑😑
I FUCKING HATE ARGUING WITH THOSE PEOPLE. THEY NEVER ACCEPT OTHER OPINIONS.
GOD DAMN IT!35 -
When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.2
-
Look at dat boi. He's the most poisonous animal known to humankind and he looks like THIS. He don't have to prove anything, you just touch him and you ded.
That's why I only reply to you boubas when I feel like having fun.
9 -
So my first dev job has ended up as fucking dat entry after one of the contractors got bored and left.
I’m an SQL Developer (at least that is my job title) and all I do is fuck around with exchange rates in spreadsheets.
The only “proper” development work they gave me hasn’t even been applied to the test server yet (should have been done over a month ago)
And the project they gave me to look into migrating from sourcesafe to GitLab has ground to a halt.
I’ve been here 4 months and I want to quit already, that must be a record (for me at least)
I was keen an full of energy, willing to do some work from home etc. But a little piece of me dies every time i open Excel3 -
had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back
-
dat feeling when you code a chunk of a page for 15mins and then you test it for an hour and a half cause you cant believe there's no bug or unhandled error
-
Had to submit a form and couldn't because of some js errors. I hacked my way through with the console to submit none the less
-
At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here6 -
!rant
Looked into browser jank and how to optimize large lists of images in a scrollbox, went from 20fps while scrolling to ~60fps ❤️ -
Not sure if a rant but.
How many of you guys gets so bored durning meetings on all the none important stuff or not related to you that you just start codeing instead?
I have these hours long meetings with analist that can talk calculations all dat long, how usefull they are, wich analyses you can do for them. I really don't care. Just tell me the formula and I will make it. Do not care whether A is voltage or the amount of pink clouds on sunday.3 -
A few years ago I worked at company specialized in Magento(eCommerce) and Magento was changing their licensing model. At the time they had 3 Versions. Community(free), Pro and Enterprise.
They decided to ditch Pro and either make all migrate to Enterprise(with a discount) or go community which wasn’t really compatible. So some shops were in need of a more or less complete rewrite.
My hdd crashed literally the day before but hey no big deal everything is 99% done and on staging. So I had a Trainee at that Time and thought the last few crappy things could be done in pair programming so he can learn a few things.
But fuck him! That motherfucker! He managed to WIPE the staging server and no that was at a time without gut and no SVN. That dipshit just deleted 2 months of work because he thought it was a good idea to SYNC his empty project to the staging system.
Oh god I nearly stabbed him. He did that shit out of his own mind even though I told him a dozen times what would happen... we had to do the whole thing again with me sitting next to him watching every stroke he made.
Guess he learned something while inward silently raging the next weeks.1 -
Dat feel when you have to threaten your laptop with a reinstall, before it starts working...
Literally happened to me yesterday.
And to ad to the drama I didn't have a bootable USB ready, so I forced the laptop to create the installer, that would ultimately be its own demise 😅
Suddenly, halfway through the setup of the USB, everything began working 😜 -
Code like this makes me shed a tear in nostalgia... also I want to murder somebody for still putting that in tutorials
5 -
Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.3
-
My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
-
jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!
more beer needed... -
tests? ain't nobody got time foh dat. my brain already does all the job. it assumes and says to myself "all tests passed ✅" whenever i make quick changes
i like to live dangerously 😂1 -
I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“
Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.
Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.
Im so mad fuck him and fuck me1 -
Code in index.php: if(!isset($_COCKIE['access'] == '123') {
echo 'Denied'; die;
}
And then there was the access.php which set the cookie.
So you had to go to foo.com/access.php which displayed a white page and set the cookie. Then navigate back to foo.com for access2 -
When your coworker is having issues with an old ColdFusion app, and says "Nevermind, I am just going to rewrite this in ASP". Yes, he is writing a "new" app in Classic ASP. 😒2
-
How tell me apart from the other departments?
It's so cold inside my office it creates fucking WIND when you open my door -
A friend of me said that intel Pentium and i3 is the same, that all laptops with intel`s logo have the same processor, you just have to view the info. of yours...2
-
If ya ever feel frustrated as all fuck because that retard friend is too fucking dense to bundle a vue.js instead of pulling it from cdn for a fucking phonegap build.
0) get in yo car
1) find a bmw at a red lite
2) signal 4 race
3) floor dat shit and leave em in the dust bc bmws have no fucking launch control
Yall know who the fuck wrote this rant dontcha1 -
Just moved countries and started a new job at an awesome company, which is so great I have nothing yet to rant about.
Oh here goes: almost three weeks with no internet at home and no end in sight.2 -
when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!3
-
When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it8
-
I can't believe it is real: I just had to talk someone out of calling a navigation point "FAQ User"
Had to admit I'm from Germany and so was the client. It's quiet common people pronounce FAQ as fuck here3 -
Since the issue is within the legacy backend data, this brings us the great opportunity to solve and sanitize the data on the frontend and therefore killing the performance of the application! Sincerely, a manager that doesn't give a shit3
-
Between android studio and Unity, which one si better to make a adventure text game? Why? (i'm learning, dont kill me please)8
-
!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?
2 -
That's it I'm done with wordpress.
Join me angry devs, let's change the world!
https://devrant.io/collabs/424605/1 -
Function works() {
Try {
HorriblyDyingCode();
Return true;
} catch (Exception e) {
Return false;
}
} -
The Web 3 has coming and I really love that. The descentralized web is a new way for the devs. Some projects was started, like: Patchwork built on SSB protocol (Secure Scuttlebutt), Dat Project wich create the dat protocol for share files in P2P network. Someone has started same project into the new web?
P.S.: All projects before has built in Node.js/JavaScript1 -
I kind of like how quiet it becomes around @ d weekends. Who doesn't have a few mins. to spare here in working time, but the personal and fam. time is sacred. Respect++ 4 dat =]
-
My coworker, Donnovan, has influenced me the most professionally. Showed me the ropes around HL7 when I had limited coding background. His philosophy of automating as much as possible has been my motto for over a decade, and I make sure I impart that to every new dev I train.2
-
Hello dear fellow programmers,
Lately I'm faced with an issue: i can't code. It takes me a really long time to get my codeengine running and it stops on the first occasion, it either be a cigarette pause, a question from a coworker or what ever.
I love code and I have a blast when I start but I have a hard time starting it.
What to do? I'm a bit at a loss here1 -
I really want to dive deeper in other languages. But everytime I see something with a not c-like syntax i can't muster the resolve to dive in.
Any advice to overcome that?3 -
Had a client whom was using the staging system on my server as cdn, remote computing, etc... because his prod server was a cheap vhost while the vm was a beast compared to it. I shut it down without telling. I just got a call that his site is now slow a f and full of errors.
I kindly told him that there was a recent security breach called dirty cow. Then I told him that I shut the vm down because it would mean security risk for him since there are no patches available yet and only Power on again with there was work for me to do.
If you want resources pay for them -
I'm reading my first Rust codebase after getting familiar with language for a while and I feel like a raw potato.
-
Trying to learn something new.
Find a library in a foreign language. It's c++.
Unable to include lib.
Copy contents
Try absolute path
Compiler gives me the finger
Abandon project -
Just setup a new phone cause old one is flaking out. Spent two hours uninstalling bullshit. The default weather app had fucking tiktok video ads running in the app! Fuck you motorola! I uninstall this piece of shit weather app. Then this non shitty weather app appears. Fuck you motorola! That should have been the default. Turned off all the suggestions bullshit, uninstalled like 20 garbage pos apps, took 10 minutes to figure out how to shut off phone because new android os is fucking retarded. Fuck you google! Seriously you changed the fucking power button to pop up the stupid voice shit! Fuck you google!
The whole time I am waiting for the setting I can't change so I can return this shitty phone. Fuck you motorola!
I dunno, we will if this isn't complete shit.
STOP RUINING EVERY FUCKING THING! Fuck you shitty ass phone manufacturers!
At the end of the day, at least I ain't a retarded Apple user... I am just a retarded aNdRoId uSeR!
What did go smoothly? Transferring my old data wasn't complete shit. Its a 5G phone, but it still only seeing LTE. Fuck you T-Mobile!
I hope there was enough "fuck yous" in this post.6 -
Yesterday i went coding, tired as hell. I told myself “Atleast i get smth done“ i was wrong. Redid everything and now expect many merge conflicts when i get home1
-
Watch your shell. Someone did it again.
Sysadmin grilled s3 with a typo in his command, shutting down whole subsystems of amazons infrastructure2 -
Was rushed to write a crappy massmailing for super urgent newsletter, had to be finished in 20 minutes. Last 5 minutes i had to rewrite half of it. Told them its rushed, testet and crappy.
Mailed the stuff anyway. Every Email got the same dynamic string in subject.
Looked at code, was setting the subject 2 lines above the loop.
Sorry guys, dont rush me next time2 -
It drives me crazy when there are unclosed parens or quotes anywhere.
Is it too much to ask for people to run their Facebook posts through a compiler first? -
A few years ago:
Installing Visualstudio 2008 on Xp.
Pc is laggy as f.
Start browsing nsfw to kill time and boss comes over. Try to close browser and not working. Start to panic a bit. Boss comes over looking at black boxes.
Pictures didnt render. I was so lucky1 -
When everyone thinks FE is easier, quicker, and less important than BE. Just because our fantastic UX people made you a high fidelity mockup in a day does not mean we can build the whole FE in a week.
This is why I'm returning to full stack. -
Current Mac and Windows user here looking to get back into Linux. Any distro suggestions?
Looking for something not too high maintenance.7 -
I was always interested in computers. My dad was a big computer geek and a programmer to boot. Usually had a couple old PCs in the basement to play with.
In middle school, I took tech ed and we made simple web sites with html and css. I remember the struggle of nested tables.
In high school, I couldn't fit any CS into my schedule. But someone gave me a learning to code book in ruby. I loved it, and have been hooked ever since. -
Computer does a BSOD right at the end of a tiebreaker competitive overwatch match where the enemy is about to cap the point and win. I'm one of the tanks. Hard reboot and back in the game within 45s. Just barely hold them off in overtime and win the match. Epic!
Thank God for SSDs!4 -
Best tip for getting unstuck? If it's after your usual leaving time, GO HOME.
So many times I solved the problem right away the next morning. Only wish I followed my own advice more often... -
If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right
-
The customer told us that we have had a good momentum lately and that we need to keep it so that we can finish on time. What makes me frustrated is that what he perceives as "momentum" actually is increasing technical debt and overtime work...2
-
!rant
I've been looking for an open source bugtracker. The Idea is to make it public and lets clients submit their tickets. I looked at redmine and truth be told: I can't do the ruby,so it dropped. Bugzilla? Well... please no. Flyspray.... well we tried but don't get along. I stuck with mantis2 because it's the only thing with eyecandy i've found even though the source is a hellish mix of 1000+ lines of wild php and html mixes. The rest either doesn't fit or looks too old. I also don't mind throwing a buck or two but i want to run it on my own server and do fancy stuff to it if i want to.4 -
Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...1
-
I took a project. Wild mix of php and html including db stuff and data processing. About 200 files, some 3000+ lines long with if else cases processed in another template/logic behemoth...
I wrote a js file included it at the footer of the monster and update dom + data via ajax on my own api implementation because I'm too afraid to write in any of those files.
I've been told its quality code and well documented3 -
I found myself tonight imagining what a conversation between Cheech and Chong about serverless would be.
Maybe the basis for a new talk?
Suggestions please1 -
Trying to add money to a prepaid SIM card today. Their website is a mess. Plus and minus buttons were not functioning, so my only option was to add 15 euro. Checked the console, no errors. Tried triggering the buttons jQuery, no luck. Found a data value attached to the submit button set to 15. Changed to 10, clicked submit, and BOOM, it worked! You just got engineered!
After I paid, I was curious, went back and set it to -15, and tried it again. Unfortunately, they know about backend validation. -
Dat Moment when the exchange Server seems to crash and you found 20x1gb Mails From boss to all employes
Dau Like a boss2 -
Am I the only one not being able to open up an image from a rant in the detailed preview 😐 hate dat shit
-
In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
-
I hate people. I show them devrant or try to abstract a problem to a everyday problem people still reply with "I don't know computers" ignorant fucks.1
-
Dat animation: open a WhatsApp chat, start recording a voice message, swipe up to lock the recording, cancel the recording and watch what happens.2
-
We had serverside profiles at school. And at one day someone forgot to sign off. So me, the bored dev apprentice, wrote a cmd Programm which spammed every folder with a txt file with contents like "Sign off next time!" Then wrote that sentence to a desktop file until the drive was full.
They had to restore a server backup since that appearantly fucked the system1 -
I always get great satisfaction by reworking and rebuilding ul li menus cos you know it's 2018 and fuk dat shit 90's implementation
-
Suggestions for UK conferences please, already going to devoxx, anything devvy would be good, or architecture or web related
-
trying to unpack game's archives
"this game uses .arc files"
*glances at game's asset folder*
"sounds.dat"
"sounds.fat"
"sounds_patch.dat"
"sounds_patch.fat"
"world_chunks.dat"
"world_chunks.fat"
erm... okay
*tries dat/fat unpacker for other game, packer crashes*
well we're fucked, huh3 -
We're at that part in the project where we either keep sinking money into it, or cut or losses and go with another project. Sigh.1
-
Opinions please. When end user is not paying for service, who is my customer? For example public facing government project2
-
We are dependent on dependency injection and package management... which also comes with a lot of dependencies installed by another package manager1
-
Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
-
Deep Rant
Been coding my private projects for longer than a while creating repositories on github but I hav been struggling to get an internship since I graduated and before i graduated a year ago whr i do send my resume im told to get more work experience what da fuck is dat if no1 wants an intern2 -
Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
-
In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.
-
I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?3
-
I'm assigned with doing Guides for customers that need connections through Microsoft Remote Desktop.
I made one on a Windows laptop, fine, but they also need guides for Mac OsX and iOS. Dat emacs-fingertorture screenshot buttoncombo.. and once I was done with that I needed a quick way to put 20 odd screenshots on my working computer ( Linux ) and edit them to have a unified design and to also share it with my coworker, so I put them up on Google drive. It started acting up right away with compressing for download in Linux.. then on the Windows computer......... and once I had the zips Windows internal unzipped couldn't unzip them, neither could 7zip................. neither could Linux Unzip -e ................ I ended up just downloading them one by one on both computers, I almost got a nosebleed from that..
-
When you are tearing you hair out trying to figure out why the PR you're reviewing isn't working. Then you realize you forgot to pull the latest changes!
-
Neither one of them really *get* what I do, but mom likes to tell me his much she hates whatever program she uses at work as if I control the dev timeline.
-
I have no idea how to make custom images so i keep a txt file for “apt-get install“ or “yum install“
-
--- Before Monday morning
Relaxation level: 999
--- Monday morning
The joy to come back from small holidays... and being welcomed with "this is broken, this doesn't work, this stopped working" and writing emails the whole morning to providers "please fix dis, and dat, and dis, is broken since months"
Provider: "o sry, we didn't notice :< pliz wait next week until fixed, thnk u"
Relaxation level: NaN -
“My whatever isnt working“
“Was there an error message“
“Yes“
“What was it?“
“I dont know I dismissed it“
FML1 -
About the one ranting about people who don't know how to use Google:
that kind of people is my family, and, my sister ASK TO GOOGLE, really, she write all the homework of her school to google.
THATS why they dont find answers -
For those who ever tried to find and/or implement a crm: everything seems to be based on that bastardized vtiger core which is based on an old version of sugarcrm I'm so fucking tired of that shit. I gonna make my own. The underlying framework makes me sick to the bone. Everything in there relies heavily on magic. Being arround for years and just recently got a new major release yet unable to transfer offer items to the invoice even though it requires a relation?
This is not blunt talk. My thing is based on Laravel, EAV principle for dynamic fields, module code structure, interface for the list view and many other stuff is already integrated. This is gonna be done and will be done because existing stuff is so fucking ugly and broken I can't fathom myself.
Btw I still need a name
PS: I hate smarty, PearDb and their fucking database layout -
Honest question. When do you consider yourself a "Big data engineer"?
Today I managed to create a system that collects historical metrics from monitoring tools every 5 minutes and do all sorts of crazy transformations to make them ingestible by grafana Mimir in OTLP protocol. Doing 600gb a dat, millions of active time series, .... And I still feel it's, "small"
Thoughts?5 -
I have something ethnical controversal in the making. I learned to shut up about the project. That's how i learned people fear and hide a lot1
-
Want to upgrade computer for better programming resources in side projects, need $600
Want to start making side projects for dat sweet sweet ad revenue, need stronger computer
Freelance hobbyist catch-22 :(9 -
It seems dat the only growing career profile in bigdata domain is of BIGDATA trainer.
P.S. I don't need ny training. So stop mailing me. -
I once had a colleague ranting about my variable naming because it went out of bounds on his IDE's printmargin. To please him i wrote minified code while pair programming
-
New to the the electronics stuff and I'm building a word clock. Recommendations for a microcontroller that has at least 22 outputs (22 words to light up). Something from Arduino? Also need to plug in for power and use an RTC.5
-
What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
-
Dat $15 dollar game maker humble bundle, I dont know if I will ever need it but damn it feels gud.1
-
Never ever ever ever download JavaScript studio frm Windows store rather spend dat time wisely like boiling an egg
-
Fuck you sophos. Fuck you hard. I moved a server to a new datacenter and it worked like a charm. Thank you windows and hyper-v. BUT! BUUUUUUT my fucking sophos worked like shit. Blocking everything by default? Yeah fuck you. Reconfigured everything. Still blocked and why? Forward “all“ doesnt mean forward all. Had to apply rules from port tcp 1 - 65335 and udp 1-65335. Nice you piece of fuck.2
-
hmmmmmmmmmm
Gonna have to be instrumental music, be it movie soundtracks(Star Wars <3) or whatever randy dandy music I have, like Sabaton.
Also my never ending promise to myself to finally install a new Linux distro on my main machine with KDE Plasma.. dat stuff gooooood -
Arg! I'm ranting about the unofficial devrant extension nuuuuu!!!!!
I can't attach images, every time I click attach image and select the image, the notification box disappears and upon reopening, it's refreshed! Why bother with the link if it's gonna do dat!
Haxk20 wherever you are, heed my words!
(I felt guilty writing this mini rant)1
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