Pushed a month of work to production and left the office. Cool guys don't look at explosions

"Does it work in IE?"

No, and I don't care.

Well, here's my work setup.

Please don't judge 🤓

Work from home.

Note : I don't own the content.

don't think I'd be allowed this at work, but at home, its an amazing way to release my programming frustrations!

Statutory warning: Don't try this at work....

Writes code.
Doesn't work as intended.
Debug.
Works as intended.
Tests other scenarios.
Don't work as intended.
Debug.
Works as intended in scenarios.
Scenario 1 fails.
Stares at code.
Staring doesn't work as intended.
Fuck...

I don't care if you're a friend, acquaintance, or we fucking knew each other in high school!

If I fucking agree to do some free work for you, feel fucking happy about it! Don't fucking ask for more work or demand work or give me fucking deadlines just because you know me!

I'm doing you a fucking favor! Do you want me to send you the fucking invoice? I don't care if you're on a budget, I agreed to help you out, but don't you dare fucking cross the line!

<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**

Me: I'm unable to connect through VPN

IT guy at my office: I'll format your system and reinstall OS

Me: heck no!! There should be other effective solution.

IT guy: Yes, I can take backup of your files and then reinstall OS.

Me: Just get out!! F*ckin ididot!!

When your shortcuts don't work anymore..

-Why you don't use WordPress for every client? It's less work same money.

- because f#*k you.

Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.

Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.

DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.

Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.

When on monday, a client asks you "WHY SOMETHING ISN'T FINISHED". Well, we don't work on weekends. Fuck off.

Dear outsourced developers. Don't send me your private SSH key by email. I don't need it, it allows me to access anything else you can access pretending I'm you, and it shows a misunderstanding of how SSH keys work. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Agency: "Why don't you do more free work for us? When you do that we can give you better jobs for money?"

Me: "so if I do free work for you, I get to do paid work as a reward? ..you know that I am a freelancer, not your employee, don't you?"

*agencysulking*

I am the person at my job responsible for our software to work cross-browser. I don't feel comfortable right now.

Don't want to go back to work and code, there's much better things to do; Like stay at home and code instead.

Don't work for idiots. There's plenty other jobs out there

I don't think this is how heatsinks work...

"Well technically.. you don't even really work, right?"

Germany.

8 rules of freelancing which newbie should know:

Rule 1: never pick up a half done website.

Rule 2: never take a job where they want to "do things themselves". And don't work with fixed prices if you calculate your price on a best case scenario.

Rule 3: don't do content management

Rule 4: don't promise a sales target on their website.

Rule 5: start sending invoices every money and not just at the end of the project.

Rule 6: Put every website on your own webserver and don't release it untill it's paid.

Rule 7: Don't work for free.

Rule 8: Don't work for free.

Credit: Jhon Dear

"HTML and Css don't work well together" - some wisdom from my coworker after meddling with some height settings in css

Don't work late/during the weekend because someone else committed to an impossible deadline. Trust me. It's not worth it.

*offering sweets to a fellow at work

Colleague: Oh I'm a diabetic but What you've got here aaaaaa.....

My Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it

Me: Oh come-on already One small piece won't kill you

"Work is intended to earn you money, you don't have to like it to make a living from it" - my first boss

"Don't be too cooped up with work. Your work will always be there, unending. But your free time with family, friends or just for yourself - that's limited."

i hate the phrase "It's working but I don't know why". If you don't know how it works, it means it doesn't work at all and will fuck you up soon.

1825. Leaving work. Today sucks. My coworker is out and she normally does this weekly report. I need her. I don't like this.

Don't be lazy and work in your code as someone else has to maintain it.

CTRL + Z

Functional programming jokes don't work because there are no side effects

Don't work for free

Slack: A tool for teams to collaborate and work efficiently

Instead

Slack: A way to share memes at work

Advice... Don't open slack at work 😂

This is more on work and life balance.

1. Don't do hard work, but do 'Smart work', else you will end up burn yourself 100%.

2. Don't think your manager is your guardian angel, even though it seems like sometimes. He has his own goals to achieve.

3. Spend considerable time daily in and out of office/work, for your own development/improvement.

4. Learn new languages and technologies.

5. Stop making things perfect, 'good' is enough.

and it goes on ............

When people think MAC addresses don't work on windows 😂😂

I know Git gonna work, cause I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't

I don't have a rubber duck, but I think a 3D printed Tux will work. 🙃

Hearing from friends and some family... "You don't really work. You just sit in front of a computer all day."

I don't work on bugs. Instead I improve the usability of undocumented features.

Received a cover letter...
I don't think that's how numbers work.

Rant

Told my boss I don't want to do the shit work. I need work that matches my job description.

He said ok. 🤷‍♂️

Svg files don't work with Edge
*facepalm*

Ah, I see you studies music in college! Why don't you work in information security!

Don't know why it worked yesterday and Don't know why it doesn't work today.

So... if github and twitter are both down - I don't have to work today, right? It's like a snow day, isn't it?

I don't think that's right (episode 2)

No screenshot because work computer.

That moment when the practical work supervisor don't understand why you don't use netbeans because he thinks that MongoDB is a netbeans plugin.

I hate this work from home shit with your family around. "You're always in front of the computer, go workout, go socialize, its family time"

What part of "work from home" you don't understand. SMH!

Ever feel like punching your monitor when things don't work? Yup, I'm right there.

PSA.

Bad Managers will, sometimes, abuse imposter syndrome to have you work longer hours. Don't let them.

Want to work on a pet project, but gf demands all of my time. So, I work at nights. Then I get bitched at why I'm always tired and don't want to do anything -.-

"Don't add security to this, it's to much work"

Really? -_-

There was a variable named 'isVisible'

Wanted to make it visible

I typed in 'yeah' as a keyword instead of 'true'

🤦‍♂️

Hello devRant,

This is already from a few days ago but I had to process the whole thing myself first.

It was a normal day at work nothing special. Customers came in got their repaired PC's/Laptops and brought some new work in. So I went through some and then I got to the case that is the most well unbelievable and shocking I had in the only 2 years doing this. At first it was a normal HDD bad sector thing and I started copying the old HDD to a new one.

//NOTE: the program we use shows every file it's copying and the sectors it spans //

Suddenly I saw a weird thing happening where it started copying tons of files from a folder called "mature/kids" over to the new HDD.
I noted the path and after it finished we returned the laptop to the customer and he luckily left his old HDD with us. So my boss and I we did some investigation and we'll turns out the dude has a whole library of childpornography.

tl;dr check what you copied and report such cases to the police.

Don't do such stupid shit and stay legal guys.

Which you all a great day/night/morning/evening/whatever

//EDIT: I ofc won't post pictures cause of obvious reasons

I program at night but my clients don't work at night ... clearly need work from other time zones

Don't wanna go to bed cuz then I have to work tomorrow 😞

Image is me each standup

simple: don't work for a bad company.

I'm German, we aren't funny, my bad.

Don't want to wake up, don't want to start to work.

*buries face in coffee mug*

I don't want to work for people anymore :(

I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I feel dead
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't...

I made a cup of tea at work.
Don't tell nobody.

I hate it when I burn out and don't want to work for few days at all...

Don't work.

Die.

Tutorials w examples that don't even work. Would run into these all the time back in my Flash days, so frustrating.

Being able to create almost anything you could think of. But you don't because you get enough of that shit at work...

Engineers don't work on weekends. :')

when you don't update your LinkedIn profile and a recruiter offers a job in the company where you actually work...

I really don't think this will work...

Joined a call during a potentially important life event. Work laptop password expired this morning, personal laptop didn't connect to vpn, desktop not connecting to vpn. No one knew what's wrong on the call (just that it's not working).

Not a good call.

merry crisis everyone, i wish you all a very don't have to work tomorrow like me

So my code doesn't work, and I don't know why... I'm struggling with that for like 3 hours or so

!rant

I've been struggling for the past year with:

Dev work
Ops work
"Management" work

This last month I made a decision, I don't give a fuck anymore and just gonna do my dev work which is the one I'm paid to do.

Never been better. Its healthy whem you let all those fucks go away :)

Was having an internship interview, and the guy starts laughing while reading my resume and says:
"don't put visual basic on your resume if you don't want to work with it"
I proceeded to remove it ASAP.

Me at the new company:
My code doesn't work, I don't know why..
My code works!, But still I don't know why

Look what I got!
I don't know what do to with it, except for work related stuff.

#1 life lesson learned from coding:
Don't work on projects for the government or any authority EVER!

That feeling when you wanna work on something of your own so bad but don't know on what.

Don't be me. Don't miss an interview because you don't know how timezones work and at least take a look at their website if you're applying for a web dev job.

Power shortages plus 3D printers don't mix... FUCK, 2 hours of work.
Next upgrade: UPS.

New setup rocking in the dark (I don't actually work in the dark, it just looks cool)

Unpopular opinion: Don't trust anyone at your work place.

Went to a job interview for ASP.net even though I don't know ASP.net since they asked me to come. I got the job since I was the only candidate that knew what OOP is.
I don't really want to work there.

When you're family asks why the printer doesn't work and I reply "I don't know that's a hardware problem"

Dear companies.

Please don't read resume on holidays.
It make me doubt work environment.

I don't get what people don't understand about how monthly bills work.
"But I already paid you once!"
"Yeah, for the work we did two months ago. This is the bill for the work we did last month."
"... But I already paid you once!"
"Yes, and then you asked us to do more work"
"... ... But I already paid you once! Why are you trying to rip me off!?!"
*sigh*

i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.

both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.

I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.

Pushing changes to production via SFTP. Luckily I don't work at that company anymore.

Got drunk during work time because fuck openvpn, fuck anyconnect, and fuck badly designed vpn servers in general.

A fucking pptp connection, man, a fucking pptp.

First day at office with devRant:
I don't work

This is powering ATMs at my place, wonder why most of the times they don't work.

I can't get work done. I completely lack motivation. Don't know what to do anymore :/

When confronting a new language: "how does this work? i don't understand it's syntax. I'm not going to achieve nothin in life"

Random guy: Hey you're from Mexico ! Let's party and drink Tequila, let's go for Mamacitas !!!

Me: no, I have to work!

Random guy: come on you Mexicans don't work, and always wears a Zarape !

Me: Come on man ! It's fucking 21th century !!! You can't think that way ! I don't fucking wear a Zarape, I don't like Tequila and for the love of God is so wrong to call women "Mamacitas"

Work of a my co-workers good work! It's called colspan you dumb fuck! Best part is that no way I'm changing this coz I work in place where they don't give a fuck about code quality! So fuck it!

I don't deal with it, I let it torture me while I work harder.

I don't like remote work.

I heard "we must be agile" so many times at work that I don't know what that means anymore.

God I miss Stack Overflow Jobs. Put tech you want to work with, put tech you don't want to work with, get relevant results. Now? Search "frontend" in LinkedIn and you're getting "sugar production quality assurance". Fuck that noise.

i don't think it should work like that

This month's Humble Bundle monthly had only two games that don't support Linux. Nice work, HB!

Sorry guys, I don't really care if something is open or closed source. Code just needs to work well.

When code is survival.

Why do I always work on a project intensively for 2 days, don't touch it for a week or two for reason X and then don't dare to touch it anymore.

Damn

Sent an email to 4 people.

Got 5 out of office auto responses. WTF.

Good thing I don't have work to do 🙃

"Even if youre sick, you should have update your Tickets".

I did inform them that I'll be absent. I literally mean that I don't have to work for that. I don't even get to pay while updating my tickets.

My freelance horror story is that I don't work freelance, but rather for a corporation where I am a faceless entity known as asset.

Why the fuck people are so happy during festive season? Don't they have like work to do? Or a book to read?

Work Until You Don't Need Resumé for Job

- Jaydev Shiroya

1. Plan your work
2. Plan new skills to learn every year
3. Stackoverflow is your best friend
4. Don't be afraid to ask stupid questions...
5. ... but make sure not to ask too many of them
6. Don't get burned on one single topic, find other projects to work in parallel or even better work on side projects in your spare time

> Get told my teams​ products don't work
> I say file a ticket so we know and can assist
> No tickets filed after 4 weeks,
> Team still complains my teams products don't work

Who else has mindless complainers?

Don't try this at work!

When you've been busting your balls and finished a ton of work and somebody who can't deliver 1% of your work implies you don't work hard enough... Grrrrrrrr!!!!

Beware of scope creep. If it's a bug, fix it for free. If it's a new feature or changed from the original signed off scope, charge for it.

2 weeks in my new job. I started hating the work. I'm stuck working on legacy systems. This guys don't work on latest technologies.

Back with more features now!
Cuz I don't have anything to do at work

This image is composed of screenshots from season three

Don't know why we need to have a 15 minute standup each day, and then repeat what was said in a OneNote update which gets sent to management anyway and takes 2 minutes to update. I get so bored, don't care about the other people's stuff, because it has nothing to do with my work, and their work doesn't affect mine. And they don't care about mine either, we work on totally different products lol.

Some people enjoy talking, I suppose...

When your codes don't work like they used to before...
-complete this song in comments :) :D

It's one of those days where I just don't want to work except it's the whole week actually.

"I don't like it. Fix it."

No more explanation available. Plenty of constructive criticism to work on there then...

Sometimes I don't know if it's me or the IDE does all the work 😉

I've reinstalled android studio five timed… today. on a chromebook, 4gb, ram. but 16gb ssd. it has no regard for storage whatsoever.

Don't work for assholes.

🤖 working with people that actually wanna work. And when they don't want to, just take the day off. 7 days pretentious work == 2 days actual work

YOOO Product owner if you don't specify which freaking page something doesn't work I CANNOT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!!

that moment when you want to code but don't have anything to work on... I need more programming friends

When you want to change team cuz the work has become boring, but they don't wanna let you go :/
Time for job change?

Deadline driven development ... Wtf. What a great way to annoy developers, managers and clients at the same time.

When you change one line of your source code and all of the rest of code don't work any more. Fucking Shit!

I don't :< Honestly, it's just something I don't really think of and I either waste time or do actually work. No need to push myself

I'm reading /r/talesfromtechsupport every day to remind me why I don't work directly with customers anymore.

I've slept for entire work day and I don't care, hahah.

I like TFS. I don't like GitLab in general. I also don't like to work with GitHub.

I have a rule for maintaining sanity. It only works if you job doesn't have you on-call. And it saves me a of stress:

Don't think about work when you're not at work.

Seriously need three screens at work.

The third screen's sole purpose will be to have devrant open so I don't get bored.

Fuck I don't feel like going back to work. This is new, maybe I need a new job?

working with UX/UI designers who don't understand the concept of style guides or reusable UI components is torturous, why don't they understand things work a bit different in real life than in Photoshop, Illustrator or Sketch

Best advice from and to myself though:

"Don't work with idiots"

I'm sure it will change my life when it happens.

Anyone else have 100 .txt files on the computer called note(54).txt? Or TODO(32).txt? Yeah... Someday I will compress them into one so I don't miss something important for work. Why don't we have issue tracking?!?!

"In the field of psychology, the Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in w/c people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. It is related to the cognitive bias of illusory superiority and comes from the inability of people to recognize their lack of ability."

Sounds like my coworker to me. If it doesn't work, he blames others. WOW

A summary of why relationships generally don't work out for me...

Protip: Don't use Rider's winform designer. It will glitch out and destroy your work.

And don't use Visual Studio because it will freeze every time you close the application you are debugging.

Actually, just go be a beet farmer.

if you work in IT, don't address your team as 'warriors'. Especially if that team has over 1000 people.

Anyone else find they work better between the hours of say 10am - 2am rather than the "normal office hours" of 9am - 5pm?
The problem is if I start later then the people who I work with are so absorbed in their work that I don't receive a reply to my email.

Does DevRant count as social media? I don't think I'm allowed to post to social media while I'm at work. *Asks DevRant anyways*

Are you using your own laptop at work? Or your company provides you with a company laptop? I use my own at work because I don't like to develop using company windows desktop.

Don't know if already asked but, what brought you to programming /your work area. Do you like it? Was what you expected?

i don't understand how to do my assignment at work. i don't ask anyone. and i'm crying. gonna get fired soon lol

Don't you just hate it when it's almost May and there's snow everywhere when you head to work?

Woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I have a ton of solutions to work problems but don't want to get out of bed because I have work tomorrow...

Spilled coffee on my keyboard 3rd time this week.. guess who don't want to work and need a vacation

Funny how fucken emojis, which came into applications (web or even native) by completely overusing them on mobile, don't really work on mobile.

Don't work.

🤔 I don't.. 😐 Unless after work beer with coworkers counts aswell..

"I used to be a developer back in the days"
yep ... maybe this is true - but the fact is: I'm the developer and you aren't - do your fucking work and don't bother me with stuff you don't understand ...

Be developing in python 3
$ pip install <library>
Don't understand for hours why it doesn't work
I should alias pip3

When you don't write unit tests and expect it to work on the first try

Make sure you are noted for every work you do. Don't let upper managers to take credit of your work.

I always want to work on a bazillion side-projects but don't have enough time because college, work, etc. Now that I have all the time in the world to work on side-projects I have zero motivation and just waste my time on YouTube.

This sucks.

Hmmm I don't know, I think my project will for some reason not work lol

I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.

I love, that most of the standard shortcuts of every single software I've ever used don't work on a German Keyboard layout :(

When you work for German Telekom, don't forget to PRAIS THE SUN \[T]/

Can you recommend me any good task/time management apps. I don't get much work done lately.

My work day lately:
5% new code
95% figuring out how the old shi...code worked so I don't break everything

What do you do when you don't have any assigned work in office and idle for 2 weeks..?
I'm already frustrated. And I don't know to pretend I'm working infront of manager 😁

When you're doing so many follow up emails that you don't have time to get the work done.

Someone at work deleted my test environment's databases.

What. The. Fuck.

If its not yours, don't fucking touch it.

I currently work in a php shop where 90% of the devs don't know composer. #drupalFTW

Sooo... The ways my coworker fucks me:

Last week I have been working on setting up aWireGuard VPN server... Been trying for 4 FUCKING DAYS, the easiest VPN that has ever existed, 2 commands and that's it, I wasn't able to reach it, I checked every forum, tested every possible solution without success, checking ubuntu firewall but it was inactive... Nothing that should cause this. Why? 2 weeks ago we had a security breach and my coworker added a firewall from the cloud console with basic rules allowing only 3 ports, the port I was communicating with was blocked. He didn't bother to mention that he added an external firewall. And the junior me, not wanting to be a pain in the ass, and since that security breach wasn't my responsibility to fix, I didn't ask too many questions, just read the emails going back and forth and "learning" how to deal with that. Kill me please. Next mont a new guy is joining, we had a "quick meeting" of 30 minutes and he managed to make it 2 hours meeting. So a partner who lacks communication and a partner who talks a lot... Will be fun. And I probably should change my username... Is that even possible? @root?

I hate how React is used almost everywhere nowadays. Especially when single-page applications are used for purposes that don't actually benefit from them.

Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned, but I want websites to work even with client-side JS disabled. At least sites like Amazon don't rely on it, and work just fine. Progressive enhancement is the way to go.

Looking for development work in my country Fiji is really hard. I really don't know what my options are.

When you work with people who don't understand git merge conflicts yet...

One years free HTML5 support comes with their CCTV cameras apparently. Hate it when website designers don't check work.

"We don't have a responsive layout so just do what you think is best"

(builds responsive layout)

"This responsive layout doesn't work as we expected"

(sends 5 pages of notes on how mobile layout should work)

I don't think devrant would work very well in landscape orientation, but could we please get reverse portrait orientation?

I don't know shit about app development but I'm pretty sure that is an option.

That moment when you make something work which uses something you don't understand fully 😁
*feels like a hacker*

Best feeling I've felt all week: Even though I don't have time today to install it, I got Wi-Fi on the minimal install ISO of Gentoo to work with almost no configuration. My shitty ass dongles actually work???

The worst project you had to work on? Or the worst client? I don't know if it has already been done :x

I don't still understand why I leave work with an unsolved bug, when all I'll eventually do is think about it!

I just copied the exact same code from another program into mine, actually left out a loop because I didn't need it. Also took some other stuff out, nothing much, just some var = othervar that I didn't need.

The other program, from where I copied the code, works fine, is fast, I see no issue, has been in production for a while now and no complaints. Mine, WITH THE SAME CODE, doesn't move. I don't understand how this is possible.

I like going to work on casual wear, I don't like going to work on formal wear but my boss sayings that it's part of the corporate culture and we have to follow it.

Do you guys go to work on formal or casual wear?

function toCodeOrNotToCode() {
if (!isset($coffeeOrRedbull)) {
die('No work can be done');
} else {
return true;
}
}

// I don't drink Redbull daily

Don't ask for free work! This is what's going to happen ;)

I don't respect a single person at work. I like them as people, but that's about it

So now they don't need it... So basically 2-3wks of work gone out the window...

Well at least I get paid either way and now I don't have to worry about releasing code that will might blow up in PROD...

At my new job, we use WordPress. So obviously there's shitload of stuff to rant about. But because of those shitload WordPress stuff, I don't have the time to rant about it, and after work , don't wanna think about it.

What do we do when the WiFi dont work
What do we do when the WiFi don't work
What do we do when the WiFi don't work
On Ubuntu 18.10

Disable secure boot and sign your own driver
Disable secure boot and sign your own driver
Disable secure boot and sign your own driver
Build it from the source code

Getting so much work that almost don't have time to devRant 😭

Someone >_>: My code works and I know why
Someone else >_>: My code works and I don't know why
Me >_>: My code doesn't work and I don't know why

I am in this weird situation, where I work with a pretty cool team and have an awesome commute to work, and a nice salary. But I don't like the actual work that I am doing, nor the why I our team is run. Due to some personal events coming up and being still fairly new in the job I also don't want to switch (yet). Does somebody have/had similar experiences?

Anyone else work at a company where the employees don't know the difference between a developer and a help desk person??

Debugging AWS IAM credentials wondering why they don't work for 5 hours.

Note to self: Check the clock first next time.