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Dear Apple.
Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.
Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.34 -
windows update code
function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}15 -
Showers
99% of my bugs are fixed whilst I'm in the shower
Honestly, I should just get a waterproof computer and write code in there14 -
Time spent on Web Development :
1% : {
actual productive content and features
}
99% : {
Please. All I want is for this div to vertically align in this other one. Is that too much to ask?
}13 -
z-index: 9;
😕
z-index: 99;
😐
z-index: 999;
😑
z-index: 9999;
😡
z-index: 9999 !important;
😠
z-index: 9999 !IMPORTANTAHFA;
😲29 -
5 reasons I love devRant
1. I can't understand the point of Facebook. And it has such a shitty UI, but devRant has a beautiful despite it is complete JS
2. It doesnt have 140 char limit.
3. It is 99% english.
4. Trolls and script kiddies are rare here.
5. It is fairly lightweight.
======================
1 reason I hate devRant
1. Total waste of time.16 -
Just read this in German craigslist:
I make your new fancy website...only 99€...no wordpress, cuz thats for blogs only...
I program object oriented in HTML/CSS!7 -
If you’re having SQL injection problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 tables but… fffffuck. Now i only have one ☹️4
-
1% of OSS: “I came across this very common issue which is a pain in the arse, I pulled together this awesome solution for the community, packaged it nicely, here, use it.” - 3 ⭐️ on Github.
The remaining 99%: “I was bored last Sunday so maed zis.” - 10’393 ⭐️ on GitHub.4 -
Do you reckon there could be other rant boards out there? Developers can't be the only people with problems... AccountantRant? TruckieRant? PainterRant?
...PresidentRant? Oh wait, that's his Twitter...8 -
Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."
Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."
Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."
Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."
Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."
The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."2 -
Advice that I give to interns/grads:
In uni/college, you're taught *how* to code something to achieve a goal, and 99% of the time the code will work and do the job in a lab.
But when building things for a real production environment, you learn the 100 ways how *not* to code, from seeing things break left right and centre - basically everything and anything can break your code, whether it is users, the OS, other people's code, legacy code, lag, concurrency, the alignment of the moon to your server...5 -
Does anyone else feel like progress bars increase at random intervals and then stop at 99% until its actually done?
16 -
I'm a Python dev, yet 99% of my work over last 3 weeks has been JS. How do js devs not sit in the corner of a room crying at the end of a day?28
-
How to become cool in a developer community:
- try javascript for the first time
- pretend to use it like your favorite programming language (99% C)
- notice it is different
- rant about how stupid is javascript and its users7 -
Non dev related but: release my first track 😊
I'd love to create something which is near musical perfection for myself 😃
There's a couple of tracks which come close for me but not 99 percent yet.36 -
Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it15 -
* On a field trip *
🎵 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵
Oh please don't.
...
🎵 1 BOTTLE OF BEER ON THE WALL, 1 BOTTLE OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 0 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵
Finally, they've been singing for like an hour. Good thing it's ove--
🎵 0 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 0 BOTTLES OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 4294967295 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵
>_>5 -
Publishing fees:
Android - 25$ once (fixed*)
Microsoft Store - 19$ once¹
Steam Game - 100$ / game²
itch.io - free²
Unreal - free⁴
Unity - free⁵
And then there is Apple...
Apple - 99$ / year
¹ (99$ for enterprise)
² (legacy was 100$ once for charity)
³ (30% of profit for them)
⁴ (5% if more profit than 12.000$/year)
⁵ (until more profit than $100.000/year)33 -
99 bugs in the code. 99 bugs in the coooode. Squish one out, patch it around. 128 bugs in the code.4
-
If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!
😉😂😂😂😂7 -
I don't care how technically competent or how much experience you have...
A list of files is in alphabetical order 99% of the fricking time.
If I ask you to open "index.html" and have to watch over your shoulder as you hunt for it in the C,D,E section... and then you quickly scroll down to S,T,U and start looking there... I swear I will jam that wireless mouse where the sun don't shine.8 -
Am I the only one who, on seeing a post/rant on devRant with 49 or 99 or 149 or 199 existing ++... upvotes it to get it to an even number and then reads it?
11 -
So I was studying for a test using a quizlet my social studies teacher made, and I came across this gem. 99% sure my social studies teacher didn't read what it said/understand what it means.
9 -
Just switched to 99% DuckDuckGo a couple of days ago.
Is there a term for searching with DDG?
- "DDGing" maybe??
One reason for using it: Dark theme! 🖤
36 -
No... No... No!
The game engine is not in charge of code optimisation, if your program runs like ass; it is 99% going to be your fault...
Sick of seeing people judge engines because of the poorly optimised things made in them by half assed developers... Why do the good things never get any attention where the shit gets all of it... Why?!
(Just had someone crack the shits at me because I'm not using a 'real' engine and am not a a 'real' developer because I'm not using unreal... So I'm in a fan-fucking-tastic mood after that :-D)2 -
fucking mashable. I hate it so much. did you see their story today? they're supposed to be about "tech" BUT THEY TALKED ABOUT WHAT THE COLOR OF YOUR FUCKING IPHONE SAYS ABOUT YOU. THEN THEY TALKED ABOUT A CASE. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, THATS AN ANDROID CASE NOT AN IPHONE CASE. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE FUCK THESE PEOPLE ARE EMPLOYED? 99% OF THE PEOPLE ON DEVRANT COULD DO A 100% BETTER JOB. AMERICA AND OTHER COUNTRIES ARE ALL NOW STUPIDER BY LOOKING AT YOUR CONTENT. FUCK YOU MASHABLE🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
19 -
Tech startups, an analogy:
After 18 years going from help desk teams to NOC teams, telecom engineering and all manner of startups in between I have concluded the following:
Imagine wanting to start an aerospace company because you know how to fold a paper airplane, but not how to actually design and engineer an actual craft that will pass basic air worthiness checks.
That’s 99% of “tech” companies.
Discuss. I’ll make drinks.9 -
If your manager asks for a "rough time estimate" for a project, there is a higher than 99% chance that your answer will be written down and be used in presentations of project roadmap to upper management and/or marketing, who will create a hard deadline based on your rough estimate and communicate this to customers/clients, and then blame you for not keeping the deadline when it turns out (as it always does) that the rough estimate was off by several months because feature creep caused by upper management.3
-
New idea, 99 developers write node module, only one person can survive! The rest of repo will be deleted from github and npm💂♂️
4 -
Okay, question;
Can I use ANY phone number in my game?
According to Wikipidia:
"Numbers between (555)-0100 & (555)-0199 are reserved for fictional use."
But.. I'm wanting to have a little phone pop up in my game that you can enter phone numbers into and text the corresponding player (and i hope to have more than 99 players) I would just have contact names, but I want players ti be able to dick around with other players.. Like, post their number to in-game telemarketers and such. What fo you think I should do?29 -
The new figma plugins are actually insane lol, some examples:
- font scale, always struggled with having to apply the formula myself or finding the right one so it scales nicely
- image tracer, that plugin replaces adobe illustrator for me, since I only used it to convert pixels to vector images
- removebg, 99% of what I pulled photoshop up for
still have to test them some more, but so far it literally replaces all that adobe crap for me.
https://figma.com/c/plugin/...
https://figma.com/c/plugin/...
https://figma.com/c/plugin/...
6 -
Requirements for developing iOS apps:
$99/year, Swift, OSX, Mac, Xcode, and patience waiting for app store approval. Are there even iOS devs out there or it's just a scam?15 -
Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!
Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!
Stop the lies!!!5 -
git commit -m "fixed bug where div wasn't resizing with window size change. Next I'll work on new bug which makes it so the pages won't load at all"
3 -
In Russia we call PS/2 “пс пополам”, literally “ps divided by two”. Reminds me of French numbers system where they call say 99 “quatre vingt dix neuf”, literally a “four times twenty plus ten plus nine”15
-
Has anyone else noticed a amplification of battery drain..?
Like... You start at 100%. It takes about 30mins to drop to 99%. And to me, it seems that for each % you go down, the next one comes faster. By the time I hit 5%, It's nearly a second counter.13 -
Things I hear when people find out, that i cant see red and green well...
99% WHAT COLOR IS THIS PEN?
1% Oh, well, ok...
FFS ppl ITS ANNOYING!9 -
data science is just a sexy word for statistics.
1% programming skills
99% practically all science thats not computer science8 -
Wrote a long post on Android.
Wanted to reformat.
Wanted to make sure I won't screw up so I'll copy all text first.
Selected huge part of the text.
Mistakenly tapped on "paste" instead of "select all"
99% of my post is replaced with some unintelligible shit from before.
Where the fuck is CTRL+Z?!?!
FML5 -
GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES. MANY PEOPLE RANT ABOUT JOB HUBTING AND INSANE REQUIREMENTS. SO HERE IN SPAIN I'M SURE THE SITUATION IS WORSE. NO FUCKING JOBS. WHEN YOU FIND AN OFFER THAT DOESN'T MENTION PHP, JAVA OR COBOL OHH. YOU NEED TO BE A FUCKING WP, FULL STACK, ANDROID AND IOS DEVELOPER, A FUCKING SYSADMIN AND HAVE 99 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. SO YOU CAN SAY: hey search a junior offer! YEAH SURE ONE SECOND. 4-15 FUCKING YEARS OF FUCKING EXPERIENCE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES AAAAH
7 -
3 Years into coding and I still have no fucking clue on what 99% of the lines in a sample code means. And I'm already 18 Years Old... Beginning to think this line of work isn't for me T_T
12 -
My job in a nutshell:
*fixes app, so it's working 99% bug free*
*Chrome update*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
*iOS 10 comes out*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
"we can now remove iOS7 support"
*removes code*
*app is full of bugs*
For fucks sake!!2 -
I was trying to install a HACKintosh on my computer, but the soul of Steve Jobs saw this and crashed my computer at 99 %. Thank you 😕1
-
Why the fuck did i rent a hugeass aparment when i spend 99% in one room?? Im gonna home office today in the kitchen just to be efficient. Also gonna wait out the ligma outbreak here :/12
-
Female : how hardcore aye you ?
Me : I clear all notifs in devRant even if it is 99+ all the time
Female : wow, lets get laid already3 -
Guys, I am at that level of personal projects, where happiness is 99%! That is 90% more since the last 2 hours1
-
So today installed this plugin on all my compatible JetBrains IDEs:
https://plugins.jetbrains.com/plugi...
Especially as an Android dev I look at Gradle build progress bars about 99% of the time, so better make them look great while I'm at it.7 -
"Why is this feature not done?! I need you to own the platform!!!"
You're right, because the other 99 features just built themself...3 -
How many people have faced this?
When the test suite completes 99% and fails on one stupid test thats not even part of what you updated.5 -
I'm 19, and I was given a $1500 scholarship to take 80 hours of Office 2016 classes. It was going to disappear if no one used it. I get to stay home for the online courses, and it doesn't count against my vacation time.
I get paid for 8 hours a day while I take each class, even though I get an hour lunch and usually get out of class an hour early.
I know 99% of Office capabilities already, but this is a good stress reliever. Life is good4 -
Junior devs PR -
line 98: Catches FileNotFoundException.
line 99: Immediately throws FileNotFoundException
--
CHANGE REQUESTED 🤦🏻♂️ -
Got a text message from a former coworker who was spared the layoffs from $last_job.
"Go look at the status board, they left it up after the layoffs".
The 99% uptime is now down to 80% and you can practically pick out the exact week when the company laid off half the engineering team.
But hey, they redesigned the homepage and got a new logo.
1 -
Yesterday my cousin called me to fix his scanner, he said that it didn't work anymore. When i went to his house to check it out, the scanner worked properly! In the 99% of cases, the problem is between the device and the chair2
-
I actually saw this right now from my radio which should display the time... Was able to go from 0 to 99 o'clock..
Someone messed up really bad
...
5 -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little huge, take on down, patch it around, 157 little bugs in the code
-
Do you guys think that in terms of a design, we're in a refresh loop?
Like, I don't think the goal of a design is to be user friendly and optimal for all human eyes. There's a million ways sideways to achieve that.
I think the real thing most designers go for is to just make something look "new". And every few years that needs to be redone. Forever. In an infinite loop.
Fuck actual usability, thought-out layouts, contrast rules, what-the-fuck ever. 99% of the goal is to make it look "modern"10 -
To create a bank that's 99% digital (the 1% is for office space) with no BS charges and kick-ass money management tools.5
-
A good boss gives you a few clear instructions and then doesn't meddle in your work.
A great boss does that, and also spends most of their time protecting the team from corporate fuckery.
99% of all bosses, though? You can't make heads or tails of their blabber, and the only way they can handle problems is throwing their team under the bus.4 -
I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti
-
99 IT recruiters on the phone, 99 IT recruiters.
Take one down and pass it around, 99 IT recruiters on the phone.3 -
On iOS 11, Apple is no longer allowing you to open apps that are 32 bit. Apple should have given all the developers with 32-bit apps free access to the developer program rather than forcing them to pay a $99 fee to publish a 64-bit version of their app.
This would’ve made better business sense for them as publishers would have had an opportunity to create new apps and see more revenue coming in from upgraded apps. Ultimately more money for Apple. Not sure what dumb fool at Apple HQ thought this was a good idea.6 -
99 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs
Take one down and pass it around
127 little bugs in the code2 -
Dude. Tensorflow version changes are so fucking bad. It's even worse with keras because they create an echo chamber for shit. I'm trynna reset a fuckin model here, yet everything throws 99 more errors to the pile. Like, wtf?
***** For stackoverflow enthusiasts: found a solution, don't need your groundbreaking shit either.9 -
Just a thought.
If your project has good coverage with tests, it should be possible to develop an algorithm that recreates your production code entirely from tests.
Just look at IntelliJ - its autosuggestions on missing properties/methods are 99% times correct - I only need to hit that ENTER button. Add some AI to recreate some algorithms and there you go - you can use your tests as both: code specs and a part of QA.
Any takers for the next AI project? :)4 -
99 little bugs in my code,
99 little bugs in my code,
Take one down, patch it around,
100 little bugs in my code.
1 -
Why is choosing a name for a new dev project so difficult? It seems 99% of names I think of have already been taken! Any suggestions?18
-
I want to waste these motherfuckers trying to come up with most cringe clickbaity titled articles. At least I want to break their kneecaps...
"You’re Using ChatGPT Wrong! Here’s How to Be Ahead of 99% of ChatGPT Users"
No, I am not you fucking imbecile.7 -
You know how they write "100% natural" on food items? I want to try food that is 99% natural, e.g. containing certain stuff that cannot exist in our universe6
-
senior IC role, 4 days/week, 5 hours/day, 6 weeks PTO, 99% remote, flexible hours, pays ~75% (full time) market rate
I am very grateful to have a boss that is enabling this.9 -
How modern smartphone OSs (Android) deal with battery charge.
// handler for when the battery level changes
public void onLevelChange (BatteryInfo info) {
if(info.batteryLevel() < 99) Device.getBattery().drainAllCharge()
}1 -
Sometimes I think "I should write a meaningful error message for this exception" and then i remember how useless 99% of the error messages of every compiler / interpreter I've ever had to use and decide "msg ='something went wrong'" is good enough.3
-
To any CEOs that berade there employees for only getting something 99% correct even though the team is less than 3 weeks old, FUCK YOU. That shit is not motivating and you just fucked up any motivation your employees had for being excited to build your product.3
-
God, I hate python and its ecosystem with a passion! I feel like because of it being so popular amongst non-programmers 99% of the python code one has to deal with is just plain garbage. Also, fuck your shitload of dependencies who all fail to install!4
-
Uni shut down.
Lol.
So, what's my plan for this unplanned in-house vacation, you ask? Idk. Probably just staying in bed. Maybe bother with finishing all the damn annoying books I've left unread. Yay.
Also, FYI, about 99 years before covid19 broke out, the Spanish flu wiped out millions. We'll be fine. Lol.5 -
Fucking hell. I usually really like firefox but today it was a real pain in the ass to download sth. It wold download 99% and then stop. I couldn't stop the download and the file was obviously not working. I had to switch to edge and both the design and the fast download really appealed to me. Ffs firefox!4
-
So I thought... Hey, why not bring my laptop running Ubuntu to school. It's faster than my Windows one, and I use it all the time at home.
Then I realized 99% of students will nag me about how I'm using a knock off version of Mac Os 😒
But if I did bring it, maybe I could FINALLY teach my computer science "teacher" something.3 -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed...compile again, 100 little bugs in the code. 🐞
-
Person: "Can you speed up my computer? Don't delete anything though."
Me: "Your hard drive is at 99%... you need to get rid of some stuff."
Person: "Can't you do it with out deleting anything?"
Me: "We can move it to a cloud service..."
Person :"No, that won't work. How will get my stuff back?"
Me: "Nvm..."2 -
Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML4
-
Never be a perfectionist. I am one and it kills me inside. 99% of the time I am not happy with what I did because I know I can do better. Especially on exams. Not because of the grade but because I am not on par with what I know I can do. Its pissing me of so fucking much. Fucking bullshit. Why do I suck so fuckibg much ffs. For real: you should never become a perfectionist because I see what it does to me4
-
I think that would be config tool for F1 Challenge ‘99-‘02 game which was called VMT Engine. It introduced me to modding community, the VMT Engine project taught me A LOT about software development.
The origin of this tool was I posted on F1 2014 VMT development forum thread “Hey! Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a tool that let you change tires type?”, so the VMT leader said “Why don’t you do it?”...So I did it 😐
I’m actually still updating the source code to this day1 -
What happened? I visited this site probably less than 12 hours ago, now I have 99+ notifications! And on top of that, my hard drive is almost full!
7 -
That sweet feeling when the project is over and you can finally close all the 99+ tabs on the browser.
Feeling so happy right now! :) -
99% disk usage? Ah, Windows is updating. Guess I'll just go ahead and get nothing done then. Oh, devRant!1
-
Delivered a website to a client, pagespeed results 99 on both mobile and desktop (just 1 minus point for implementing Google analytics- since it has a too low caching time). Client insists on having a 100 pagespeed result even it doesn't change real pagespeed ... -.-2
-
Just got to experience this classic (again):
99 little bugs in the code, take one down, patch it around, 127 little bugs in the code... -
A programmer wrote scripts to secretly automate a lot of his job -- including to automatically email his wife and make himself a latte
Read more at https://businessinsider.com.au/prog...2 -
!rant
Me, reading the GPS for upcoming obstructions: “Man, I really gotta learn the different road signs. Because I’m 99% sure that’s not telling us there’s a man digging his own grave up ahead.”
“That’s roadwork, Amy.”3 -
I have been at my job for four months. I do 99% of the research on a problem or a fix - another employee recognizes the remaining 1 % and looks like a champ.
-
I deployed to production in the middle of a zoom meeting with a client.
It was just a tiny change in the settings of a field that I 99% sure wouldn't produce any other major problem but we really wanted this client and we distracted them while the code was building.
Nerves racin all the way1 -
50% of my work is passed by my co-workers as their work
99% of my work comes from StackOverflow and GitHub
At least, I take public domain work -
Seriously?
Official dotTech site: Rs. 3200
BigRock: Rs. 99
GoDaddy: Rs. 499
I want to migrate my domain away from Big Rock not buy a new one there 🙄
-
Insertion sort exists
99% of devs:
Bubble sort for the win!!
Just... use... framework-provided sort! Stop trying to do it yourself!3 -
If you're having merge problems I feel bad for you son, you've got 99 problems but my branch ain't one!1
-
Now I didn't do this myself, but I've heard from a senior developer that you can modify C's if statement to require an ADDITIONAL 99% chance, making the code fail 1% of the time with no explanation.2
-
I graduated with a CS degree which focused 99% on software only. In my current job, I get to write software to control hardware (pumps, valve’s, etc). I think this is awesome and I really enjoy interacting with the hardware. It makes the software seem more tangible.
I’d like to stay in positions that allow me to write software and interact with hardware but I’m having a hard time finding jobs that aren’t just a PLC programmer.
Do any of you guys have a job like this?4 -
I swear to God, at times it seems like our QA team have never looked at our fucking product before.
"Where's X" or "Why does Y look like this?"
I am understanding when it comes to confusion, but you can answer 99% of your own questions. Stop wasting my time and be self-directed once and a while -
So we started using Jenkins at work. Which is pretty cool so i wanted to watch some YouTube videos about it in my spare time.
But 99% of those videos are made by Indians and they are probably good videos but i just can't handle the accent. =/9 -
What the fuck is going on with atom in my desktop?!!?!?
Everytime I open it it starts comparing every single file on my pc with my github. It starts using 99% of my memory and fuck is it frustrating. I decided to just learn vim, which is cool, although I still miss managing windows with the mouse, and probably will try VS sometime in the future. I really wanted to like atom but I can't stand how slow it is compared to vim right now, even when the github shit doesn't happen.14 -
iot+Android+Azure+mySQL+GoogleAPI+TwitterAPI
Oh, Only 1 bug. exterminate.
99 bugs.
Inserted 100 rows of wrong data into tables in a Loop.
RaspberryPi Burnt due to electrical feedback from the sensors.
Android phone froze.
Wow. I still have my sensors fine though. -
So I traveled for an hour and 30 minutes to go to my school and complete an assignment that is mandatory for being accepted to my study next year. Guess what.. the assignment was writing a python script that prints specific characters of a set string based on user input. Seriously??? print(str[inp1:inp2]) I was done within a minute and got to leave again. 99% of my time was spent sitting in a train wondering what the point of a mandatory assignment in python is when we are only supposed to learn it once the study starts anyway.
-
Fuck Apple with two pineapples in the ass. 99€ per fucking year to tell me how the fuck should the access to my app be. I damn require users to sign up. I only need email and country. Not a single other piece of data. My app is not a goddamn catalogue or boutique. No free content, free app but each user needs to Auth themselves. You fucking telling me y pay 99€ so you decide how the access to my app should be?
Cunt Apple should rot in 10 day old humid shit and let devs be owners of their apps and hard work. Clowns.7 -
Notification system is weird
Suppose I have 200 notifs unread and as usual, dR shows 99+ on its bell. But if I click to see it(someone mentioned you in a comment and ++d your rant and whatsoever), its logic is flawed and shows only 97 notifs left unread. But actually 200-3=197 in the whole fucking list5 -
any ios devs here?
i'm a fifteen year old dev collaborating with a friend and we made an app - in flutter. android we are planning on publishing, but on ios we can't afford to pay the $99 to publish. we can't even compile it on a hackintosh. if anyone is willing to compile our app and give us an ipa (or publish it), we would really appreciate it!!!6 -
Got a new Processbar today, did stuck at an estimated 77% like those olds one which usually stuck at 99%.
Gave me a good chance for a couple of cups coffee. -
Why is 99% of my development job responding to audits, security questions, and idiocy spewing from something called an “Office of Innovation”? So this Innovation team sends down a project request which is silently intended to push my resource allocation over 100%. Security shoots down the idea. Innovation team tells me to tell security no, we need this. Ummm, here’s a thought, why don’t you idiots all get together and tell me when there’s some coding to be done?1
-
That time when I was extracting a 50GB archive and it failed at 99% :'(
Hope it was just 10 seconds though...
It was way, waaaaay more...
2 -
Hey,
Any tips on how to apply for job, I apply to 10-15 new opportunities daily but haven't received positive response from 99% of them. I don't know what's wrong.
Currently, I am a cyber security analyst at a startup since February 2023.
My resume I use to apply for job
https://ganofins.com/ganesh-bagaria...21 -
Does your PC still have a hunk of spinning rust inside it?
Crucial MX300 - 750GB - £105. 99. https://amazon.co.uk/dp/B01DUNLMUU/...
YOU'RE WELCOME.3 -
!dev
So apple watch ecg would be fda approved ?
They took the most percentage organ failure and made device that helps monitor that and get why question.
Self promotion :
By the way I predicted that they would go after medical devices year ago.
https://medium.com/@szczepano/... -
Part 2 of my distro hunt
So Manjaro it is (99% sure about it). Now, I'm coming from Kubuntu, which has been pretty nice since pretty much all production environments I deal with run Ubuntu. Now, switching to Arch and also Pacman, that most likely means that I wont be able to run all development environments locally on "bare metal" like I'm used to. I guess I could run everything in Docker, but that seems like a bit of a hassle. What's your ideas/solution?15 -
I watched an episode of Brooklyn 99. Cop comedy show for those of you who don't know. They introduced me to the monty hall problem? My brain refuses to understand it and im rapidly losing my mind.
Has anyone here ever written a program that tests it? I can't read math theorems for shit. But I can read code. And I need my sanity back.2 -
Imagine what PHP could be, if its native API wasn't still based on a C-like pile of turds, abused by below average coders...
On can just dream 😢
I like PHP a lot, but man, the PHP job offerings I've seen...
99% WorstPress, Typo3 or Joomla in companies that exist for 15 years and have just recently started to use Git.
Even with a 6 figure salary I couldn't bear the desolation of working for such single-celled organisms.7 -
Met a client. He need some abc services. Client asked me what will be the sla uptime. I told him unintentionally that it will be 99% instead of 99.99% and he was like that's good. I mean seriously....?
Was he okay with the 3 days 15 hrs downtime?5 -
Spent 3 days in a santorium. With my fam.
Didn't rest a bit [with temporary exceptions of evenenings where I did get to relax in a steam bath [50C, 99%] followed by ice cold water bucket].
Not looking forward for the monday. At all.2 -
How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb? - 100. one screws and 99 clicks the error messages away
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Going over some NodeJS code, and I feel like the scene from "Dude Where's My Car" - "And then....And then..."
Coming from almost three years of 99% python, this hurts my eyes so much1 -
Projects are like progress bars, they are really quick at 80-99% and then it takes a while until they have finished. The reason is the same, nobody thought about milestones and goals.1
-
Pc:- Downloading game started.
Me :- 🤓
Pc:- After 1hour , 7 % completed
Me:-😌
Pc:- After 24 hours, 18 % completed
Me:-😟
Pc:- After 10 days, 28% completed
Me:-😡
Pc:- After 1000 years , 99 % completed
Me:-👴👴RIP💀💀5 -
Just rebooted.. nothing running, windows claims I'm using 99% memory, but task manager shows 211MB of 16GB being the most in use
4 -
Does the 99 trick work still when it's like $1499.99 vs $1500...
Do ppl still easily most the $100 diff?13 -
random writing on wall : "new mcDonalds burger for just Rs 99/-" (* 10% GST)
me : "oh that's easy. 99+ 10% of 99 = 9.9 , so total will be 108.9
---
random DSA question in interview : "given a number n, write a program to break it into n parts, such that product of all parts is the highest for given number n. like for 10, 4x3x3 is 36, 4x3x2x1 is24, 5x5 is 25, and thus the correct answer is 4x3x3"
me : 💀💀💀🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️
-----
seriously though why the fuck is this programming so difficult. I also learnt java c++ python and various languages during my education days, and currently using it to create awesome buttons and ui screens which is being used by millions of people,
but why the interviewers have to ask questions that results in such a horrific use of these beautiful languages!?!
these non realistic stuff are not at all intuitive and will only result in people who likes to mug up these questions and their solutions to keep winning in life1 -
Procrastinating because I have no manager/colleagues looking at my monitors…
http://www.99-bottles-of-beer.net3 -
When you've managed to get to +99 ok your first day on devRant but can't think of anything else to post to get you into 3 digits!
-
!rant
Avatar request: separate colour choice for beard.
... I'm not exactly in the 99%, but my beard hair isn't the same colour as my head hair. 😂5 -
What hurts you the most?
1. Breakup
2. IDE with White Background
3. HTTPS://DUCKDUCKGO.COM (Caps Url)
4. Download failed at 99%
5. NULL Pointer Exception
🤔🤔🤔29 -
Folks are bragging about having 99 microservices. I don't know for what joy folks create that much microservices. They may have their own reason. I'm trying to understand what is the workflow for small companies with few microservices. Could anyone shed some light? I'm thinking of building orchestrator where I don't have fancy features like k8s and get the basic job done. Focused more on simplicity and UX.4
-
My fiancee was a developer and is now starting recruiting. The recruitment agency knows that she's a tech girl. I'm trying to push her to get all the IT recruitment jobs, because we all know that java != javascript, she does too, but 99% of recruiters do not. Whats the best way you were approached by a recruiter? And should she show to the recruitees that she has tech knowledge? Would you , yourself look at a recruiter that knows about IT differently? Advice appreciated :)4
-
Created a win7 vm for a test in an environment of all of Linux vms. Named it billgates. I'm 99% sure my other vms increased resource load in spite. There is a revolution brewing.
-
Just had a 4 hour session with an external company to get connections up ... messed around 99% of the time with STX and ETX stuff only. I'm done until monday.
-
I love my job, teaches something new everyday!
I absolutely like working on 99' tech and programming languages,
I love being an on call agent so I can get my sleep interrupted,
Happy april fools fellas -
Spent the last few days trying to solve a weird issue with our CI/CD pipeline for a project. Yesterday i finally gave up and told my coworker that i need a fresh set of eyes to look at this.
I leave for lunch, an hour later I'm back and brought fire and fury to the mix.. Then, 2 hours later i raised my hands and my mouth uttered the glorious words of victory: Fuck yeah, it works.
Mood was still shit though... 1 bug down, 99 life problems remain 😢 -
Is the ransomware attack using leaked NSA hacking tools affecting 99 countries is seriously serious or should be categorized as fake news13
-
!dev
Again I get confirmation that my trust issues are justified.
In the end, 99% of people just watch their own ass even if they could easily make it easier for others who didn’t do anything wrong. All they’d have to do is caring about them.
I guess especially younger generations only care for their parents, wives and kids. Everyone else is just a means to an end.
It reminds me of the reason why I spend most of my time alone at home in front of my computer.8 -
I don't get the bug "joke" that's flying around. If you have 99 bugs and fix one, why would you have more? Do you not have automated tests?4
-
Friend, jestingly: Gabe I did a hack, I edited the html on my browser and sent a pic to my boss so that it wouldn't look like I was 20 minutes late
Me, seriously: Friend that's literally 99% of IRL hacking. Human error.
Friend, who is positive about humanity, unlike me: why do you disappoint me like this -
I finally got assigned to a project, working like a dog but it is for operators safety so it feels good. Also, I have been tasked with writing custom C++ plugins for our process simulators and damn it feels so good to match both my biggest interests. I hope to not get carried away by it in my evenings since I was learning some webdev in my freetime.
Also got UNIXstickers in the mail like 99% of the people here.
Oh, I also received my Seiko SKX and damn I already love it.
-
With so many websites having all these pop ups, there should be a new rule where browsers implement the GDPR check on the user side (once to keep a default option, and let the user decide if they want to allow the website or not specifically)
This way we could still have the same privacy and 99% less spam 😩12 -
Do it's been about 19 days since my last update on my shitty internet and the upgrade that's meant to be in the pipeline for the current month.
Despite seeing people laying cable around my neighbourhood there's been no update on their website or in my letterbox.
It's halfway through the month and news outlets are reporting that the NBN has said that they:
Have 99% coverage
100,000 suburbs that aren't fully catered to
But, can't cater to a property that is in a relatively dense area less than 20km from a major city. -
So, I told the interviewer that my frontend skills are bad. He said that I should not worry as the tests where backend centered, good. Later, I got the job, now the interviewer, which happens to be the head of tech in the company I work for, has assigned me two tasks involving 99% of work on the frontend.
FFS, I've been searching on Internet and reading Kendo UI documentation for 4 hours to figure how to trigger the KendoGrid editable popup with populated data to enable the user to update such data. AAAAARGH!!!1 -
Who the fuck authorizes a new build to be pushed at 430pm on a friday and then demands full regression testing be done immediately regardless of how long it takes? Fucking analysts shouldn't be allowed to dictate the schedule if they don't understand the effort required behind the scenes.
99% of the time I wouldn't care but I'm the only tester with DB access and I'm supposed to go on the first date I've had in months tonight at 6.
#HelloDarknessMyOldFriend2 -
!Rant, story
That one time my brother received a call from some Indian dude that "worked" for Microsoft, who was alerting him about a "virus".
My brother (who was in his mid teens at the time) downloaded a program that the guy linked him to, and consciously installed it to allow the dude to take over his computer. Then, with full power over the computer, guy started doing shady stuff and offered him a one year protection for $99.
Thank God mom knew what was up when he asked for her credit card info...
*facepalm*6 -
Planning to write a new book called "How to get a relationship in tech".
First page: you don't. 99 other pages: blank
Totally not frustrated at all /s6 -
Almost all people who are unfamiliar with modern websites don't know that they don't need to 'allow notifications' to access a website's content.
My parent's phone is always showing 99+ notification.
We need to do something about this, we're responsible.4 -
I never thought how hard it would be to write cross platform software. If statements and try/excepts are everywheeere. And I still need to reformat the strings for different aspect ratios.
I wish I had the balls to use this awesome sentence "Works on my machine" 😂 -
Am i the only one who stop watching conference whenever a Windows developer comes in and try to give his piece of shitty advice cause trust me guy 99% of times this advice is linked to some shitty promotion of their twat service their cloud,test labs whatever . Fucking waste of one hour . Microsoft is a bag of shit company
-
I do IT support for a Uni.
A ticket comes in about how the site looks weird after an update.
Spend 10 minutes looking through Chrome dev view (we don't have access to backend).
Give up and assign to web team.
... Why do the people who manage the site not know anything about web development? 99% chance it's a just a quick CSS fix. -
Okay so I'm new to C++ and my competition is either tomorrow or Thursday. And before I go into the comp I need a good random number generator but the problem is I can't get a good one . And when I run mine I either get the same number a few times in a row then when it changes it just increments a few until it hits 99 then restarts. And I only want it to generate different numbers everytime with a 1/99 chance to get the same number.2
-
!dev
I hate $ .99.... spent all morning trying to figure out how to get free shipping.
Tried looking for a filler item but nothing good. Then looked at some funko-pop figures but not that interested... and still cost $10
Finally just went asked them to waive it... but still... that took almost an hour...
And now back to regularly scheduled programming... with 1hr less sleep....oh n it's a Monday...
-
Writing DAL code that I am 99% sure will be replaced really soon along with the database schema.
Angry coding is almost as good as tipsy coding - AMAZING. -
I'm 99% sure that stuff Johnny Ive goes over about how "For every 1000 no's there's 1 yes" for the iPhone is about the number of errors that are thrown before they finally get something to work with no errors
-
how bad is the collegeboard website? let's just say that after registering for an sat, firefox prompted me if i wanted to save the login credentials, with the username being my zip code and the password being my credit card cvv
like, how fucking hard is it for a national company who charges $99 per test that kids take every year to set up their fucking website properly
god damn, fuck college board
and yes, i am mad about a lot more than that one little thing
"non-profit"2 -
My credo in (a.o.) dev is to sit down, shut up, and get it over with. Works every time. Except that my colleagues 99 out of a 100 times fail to shut up :(
-
My first close encounter with a computer was with a came called "Skunny: Save our pizzas" in I think 1996 or 1997" and it used to run in dos.
And then next one that I remember was in 98/99 with my uncle ordering groceries on a PC. With a dial up modem.
I got my first machine in 2005 and the first game that I installed was Skunny: Save our pizzas. -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs in the code. Take one down, patch it around 117 little bugs in the code.
-____________- -
JsonLint ParsingException "composer.json does not contain valid JSON" is an incorrect statement. The file contains 99% valid JSON except for 1 incorrect character which is correctly pointed out as an "Invalid string, it appears you have an unescaped backslash at: \-dev".
And why do people in tutorials keep calling it "Jay's on" instead of "Jason" like "Jackson"? I can only imagine what they would call the "King of Pop" musician ... "my cal Jack's Onn"?6 -
In our middle schools' science-type after school program we got a client from a hospital. We interviewed her on what kinds of problems she had in her workplace. She talked a lot about impaired vision and such. Most people were doing stuff like button extensions for people who can't feel well. I'm creating a NN for recognizing numbers. I trained the model to 99% accuracy and got to teach my friend about GitHub! Win win!2
-
There's this short programming book (~105 pages) I've been reading while the tests were running (3-40 minutes, depending on the how extensive the tests need to be).
I've arrived at page 99... A month ago. I'm finally able to work on the other lightweight project, where extensive tests take 7 seconds.
I know that I asked for tasks, to keep my idle time to a minimum, but let me finish this book already ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚2 -
First worl problem.
There is only 1 10Gbits port on router. I'm already using it (Usage never exceeds 3.5 Gbits).
I wanto to add second device, also in 10 GBits.
Hub or Switch ?
On the one hand, my fiber max out at 3.5 Gbits.
On the other hand, I might want full 10 Gbitrs for Pc to PC communication.
Do I need 10 ? 99% : NO. But there is this 1% when everything is so fast !12 -
Am I only one with this? : Got new macbook, and every time it gets 100% charge immediately after unplugging it, I am checking a lot when it's coming to 99% and trying to make the battery consumption low. When it hits 99% , I tell to myself it's lost, ideal dream is over, let's use it into its full power. And typically adjust brightness, turn on things I was holding on. But it's changing with time :D Sometimes I feel like it's overheating, or too quickly discharging.
4 -
What the hell is happening? I have gotten 99 notif in a day. The last one is just a single spam reply. Did the devRant got raided by spam bots?3
-
Once upon a time I offhandedly suggested a few beautiful things that were constructed
People who were taking responsibility for the ideas who do not understand delight simple Innocent delight and a desire to see what I created before had some miniatures cheaply constructed
The desire is for things that endure in memory
All they wanted was to mechanically and immediately work on something else like it was some kind of souless side show
All I wanted was a few measly days of rest and to look over the small shadows of my ideas
This is why 99% of all new ideas suck2 -
About a month in and I've found that Github copilot code suggestions are like magic half the time. The other half is useless garbage.
However, writing comments has been a dream. 99% of the time it gives the correct description. If anything its worth using for just that.1 -
If anyone is looking for a Switch there's a FB sale coming up in the next few hours.
https://cnet.com/news/...
Also I caved and actually bought that PC I wanted, seems apparently the price on Sunday wasn't correct... or a lot of people like me called in and complained.
https://newegg.com/Product/... -
There is such a thing called "building wayyyy too many features in the product that 99% of the user base won't even care about"
I think that management does it because of this mentality, "The more features we have, the better our product would be".2 -
Been using Linux since 99' and only just now discovered chown --reference can be used with . so you can fix janky folders in a jiffy.
-
1995 comodore. I couldn't understand how can something cool like this have shittier games like my sega megadrive 2. In 99 I get my first pentium and internet, then I get trapped.
-
My first interaction with a computer was probably playing Parsec on an old TI-99/A we dug out of the attic. After that there were a lot of troubleshooting sessions with my dad on various computers trying to get some game up and running. I still remember the IRQ/DMA combination needed to get sound in Duke.
It really is no mystery why I ended up working with this stuff.
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