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-
Dear Apple.
Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.
Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.35 -
windows update code
function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}17 -
Showers
99% of my bugs are fixed whilst I'm in the shower
Honestly, I should just get a waterproof computer and write code in there15 -
Upload App to Google Play:
- Build APK file in Unity
- Pay $25 = €20 one-time fee
- Fill in the details
- Upload for review
Upload app to App Store:
- Pay $99 = €99 yearly fee
- Borrow someone's MacBook because buying one just for development is not worth it.
- Install Unity on that Mac
- Failed to install Xcode because it doesn't have the latest OS version
- Adds app to Itunes Connect and find out the name is already in use (no problem on Google Play)
- Asks friend to look for the same app name --> not found
- Create certificates for both iOS development and deployment
- Goes to another friend for their mac and add their iPhone's UDID (You need a mac for that)
- Install Unity and Xcode
- Open project I saved on a USB drive
- Build to iOS and gets stuck at some point --> couldn't fix
- devrant.com because I once more need a mac
Apple please let me just export a game without the need of a $1000 overpriced machine.38 -
Time spent on Web Development :
1% : {
actual productive content and features
}
99% : {
Please. All I want is for this div to vertically align in this other one. Is that too much to ask?
}13 -
z-index: 9;
😕
z-index: 99;
😐
z-index: 999;
😑
z-index: 9999;
😡
z-index: 9999 !important;
😠
z-index: 9999 !IMPORTANTAHFA;
😲29 -
5 reasons I love devRant
1. I can't understand the point of Facebook. And it has such a shitty UI, but devRant has a beautiful despite it is complete JS
2. It doesnt have 140 char limit.
3. It is 99% english.
4. Trolls and script kiddies are rare here.
5. It is fairly lightweight.
======================
1 reason I hate devRant
1. Total waste of time.17 -
Just read this in German craigslist:
I make your new fancy website...only 99€...no wordpress, cuz thats for blogs only...
I program object oriented in HTML/CSS!7 -
If you’re having SQL injection problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 tables but… fffffuck. Now i only have one ☹️5
-
Do you reckon there could be other rant boards out there? Developers can't be the only people with problems... AccountantRant? TruckieRant? PainterRant?
...PresidentRant? Oh wait, that's his Twitter...8 -
1% of OSS: “I came across this very common issue which is a pain in the arse, I pulled together this awesome solution for the community, packaged it nicely, here, use it.” - 3 ⭐️ on Github.
The remaining 99%: “I was bored last Sunday so maed zis.” - 10’393 ⭐️ on GitHub.4 -
Advice that I give to interns/grads:
In uni/college, you're taught *how* to code something to achieve a goal, and 99% of the time the code will work and do the job in a lab.
But when building things for a real production environment, you learn the 100 ways how *not* to code, from seeing things break left right and centre - basically everything and anything can break your code, whether it is users, the OS, other people's code, legacy code, lag, concurrency, the alignment of the moon to your server...5 -
Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."
Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."
Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."
Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."
Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."
The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."2 -
Does anyone else feel like progress bars increase at random intervals and then stop at 99% until its actually done?
18 -
I'm a Python dev, yet 99% of my work over last 3 weeks has been JS. How do js devs not sit in the corner of a room crying at the end of a day?28
-
Non dev related but: release my first track 😊
I'd love to create something which is near musical perfection for myself 😃
There's a couple of tracks which come close for me but not 99 percent yet.37 -
How to become cool in a developer community:
- try javascript for the first time
- pretend to use it like your favorite programming language (99% C)
- notice it is different
- rant about how stupid is javascript and its users7 -
Publishing fees:
Android - 25$ once (fixed*)
Microsoft Store - 19$ once¹
Steam Game - 100$ / game²
itch.io - free²
Unreal - free⁴
Unity - free⁵
And then there is Apple...
Apple - 99$ / year
¹ (99$ for enterprise)
² (legacy was 100$ once for charity)
³ (30% of profit for them)
⁴ (5% if more profit than 12.000$/year)
⁵ (until more profit than $100.000/year)35 -
I could be wrong, but I believe all devs love a clear section saying
"Getting Started" to any form of documentation5 -
Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it15 -
99 bugs in the code. 99 bugs in the coooode. Squish one out, patch it around. 128 bugs in the code.4
-
If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!
😉😂😂😂😂7 -
* On a field trip *
🎵 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵
Oh please don't.
...
🎵 1 BOTTLE OF BEER ON THE WALL, 1 BOTTLE OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 0 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵
Finally, they've been singing for like an hour. Good thing it's ove--
🎵 0 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 0 BOTTLES OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 4294967295 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵
>_>5 -
Brand new Pinebook. An ARM based system with a nominal price of $99.
It is a little bit like a Raspberry Pi, but with 2GB RAM and slightly worse community support.
16 -
Am I the only one who, on seeing a post/rant on devRant with 49 or 99 or 149 or 199 existing ++... upvotes it to get it to an even number and then reads it?
12 -
Just switched to 99% DuckDuckGo a couple of days ago.
Is there a term for searching with DDG?
- "DDGing" maybe??
One reason for using it: Dark theme! 🖤
37 -
I don't care how technically competent or how much experience you have...
A list of files is in alphabetical order 99% of the fricking time.
If I ask you to open "index.html" and have to watch over your shoulder as you hunt for it in the C,D,E section... and then you quickly scroll down to S,T,U and start looking there... I swear I will jam that wireless mouse where the sun don't shine.8 -
So I was studying for a test using a quizlet my social studies teacher made, and I came across this gem. 99% sure my social studies teacher didn't read what it said/understand what it means.
13 -
fucking mashable. I hate it so much. did you see their story today? they're supposed to be about "tech" BUT THEY TALKED ABOUT WHAT THE COLOR OF YOUR FUCKING IPHONE SAYS ABOUT YOU. THEN THEY TALKED ABOUT A CASE. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, THATS AN ANDROID CASE NOT AN IPHONE CASE. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE FUCK THESE PEOPLE ARE EMPLOYED? 99% OF THE PEOPLE ON DEVRANT COULD DO A 100% BETTER JOB. AMERICA AND OTHER COUNTRIES ARE ALL NOW STUPIDER BY LOOKING AT YOUR CONTENT. FUCK YOU MASHABLE🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
19 -
No... No... No!
The game engine is not in charge of code optimisation, if your program runs like ass; it is 99% going to be your fault...
Sick of seeing people judge engines because of the poorly optimised things made in them by half assed developers... Why do the good things never get any attention where the shit gets all of it... Why?!
(Just had someone crack the shits at me because I'm not using a 'real' engine and am not a a 'real' developer because I'm not using unreal... So I'm in a fan-fucking-tastic mood after that :-D)4 -
New idea, 99 developers write node module, only one person can survive! The rest of repo will be deleted from github and npm💂♂️
6 -
It’s weekend, time to blow off steam and recharge with some protein and carbs,
And nothing beats a double quarter pounder while watching brooklyn 99,
16 -
If your manager asks for a "rough time estimate" for a project, there is a higher than 99% chance that your answer will be written down and be used in presentations of project roadmap to upper management and/or marketing, who will create a hard deadline based on your rough estimate and communicate this to customers/clients, and then blame you for not keeping the deadline when it turns out (as it always does) that the rough estimate was off by several months because feature creep caused by upper management.4
-
Okay, question;
Can I use ANY phone number in my game?
According to Wikipidia:
"Numbers between (555)-0100 & (555)-0199 are reserved for fictional use."
But.. I'm wanting to have a little phone pop up in my game that you can enter phone numbers into and text the corresponding player (and i hope to have more than 99 players) I would just have contact names, but I want players ti be able to dick around with other players.. Like, post their number to in-game telemarketers and such. What fo you think I should do?30 -
6 hours of weekly progress report meeting in client’s office EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY.
Yes it’s a progress report meeting that can be done via email or skype
Yes it takes 6 hours
When we go to the meeting, we have
1. The boss
2. The 1% PM + 99% sales guy
3. The secretary who document everything in that meeting
4. Me as a dev
The only thing i do is to answer “yes, that’s technicaly possible” or “no, that’s stupid” when the client ask for some features or changes.
Sometimes i’m just being an accessory in that meeting.
It was years ago before i quit and become a designer 👌🏼5 -
Requirements for developing iOS apps:
$99/year, Swift, OSX, Mac, Xcode, and patience waiting for app store approval. Are there even iOS devs out there or it's just a scam?16 -
After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.
...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."
He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.
Me: "what did I do wrong?"
Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."
Me: "can I expl..."
Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."
Me: "I have..."
Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"
Me: "ok"
Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"
Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."
Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)
Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."
Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."
Me: "But you have spoken"
Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"
That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.
Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"8 -
Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!
Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!
Stop the lies!!!5 -
Has anyone else noticed a amplification of battery drain..?
Like... You start at 100%. It takes about 30mins to drop to 99%. And to me, it seems that for each % you go down, the next one comes faster. By the time I hit 5%, It's nearly a second counter.16 -
git commit -m "fixed bug where div wasn't resizing with window size change. Next I'll work on new bug which makes it so the pages won't load at all"
3 -
Introduction to graphics
Lecturer says "this is a very practical course. In fact I think we should have a practical exam"
All students agree. He would sort out that matter.
Meanwhile he taught us how to making shapes in java, then a house, then a game...
And the exam was for us to make a building where a user can walk through the building using the arrow keys...
What fun we had. We got out marks...and everybody did well!!!!1 -
Things I hear when people find out, that i cant see red and green well...
99% WHAT COLOR IS THIS PEN?
1% Oh, well, ok...
FFS ppl ITS ANNOYING!9 -
!rant
Last night I finally dug out the hardware I ordered to replace my iBook g3 clamshell hard disk with a compact flash drive. I got an ATA to CF adapter and an industrial 16GB CF card. The spinning HD of the laptop was insanely loud and I wanted more storage space and hoping to extend the short battery life a bit.
I had a torx kit from when I had swapped out the display for my 2009 imac, and was doubtful I needed them to service this thing from '99. I did quickly run into some torx screws but most were Philips.
Saw that the torx screws in the iBook were better quality case screws than the tiny Philips screws Apple used for my 2008 Macbook.
Most interesting thing about taking apart this laptop from '99 is it had no dust in it.
Boots and runs absolutely silently.
Went online on my other machine and found a huge archive of Mac Classic games.
Spent an hour and a half playing Sim Farm in 256 colors.
10 -
To all "StackOverflow is BAD" ranters - give link or don't post. And even before, please read
http://rtfm.cz/smart-questions.html...
Facebook/Instagram era taught people that it's easier to just ask question gazzylion of times before doing research / using search (even "site:stackoverflow.com" search)
I do rarely post on SO just because in 99% of cases I find solution when preparing my question during research or due to yellow duck effect.
When I got qualified to do reviews on questions I started to see how often they are so abroad or so primitive than 10min of duckduckgoing would solve it. But no, it's easier to use other people for you.6 -
My job in a nutshell:
*fixes app, so it's working 99% bug free*
*Chrome update*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
*iOS 10 comes out*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
"we can now remove iOS7 support"
*removes code*
*app is full of bugs*
For fucks sake!!2 -
Wrote a long post on Android.
Wanted to reformat.
Wanted to make sure I won't screw up so I'll copy all text first.
Selected huge part of the text.
Mistakenly tapped on "paste" instead of "select all"
99% of my post is replaced with some unintelligible shit from before.
Where the fuck is CTRL+Z?!?!
FML6 -
3 Years into coding and I still have no fucking clue on what 99% of the lines in a sample code means. And I'm already 18 Years Old... Beginning to think this line of work isn't for me T_T
12 -
Why the fuck did i rent a hugeass aparment when i spend 99% in one room?? Im gonna home office today in the kitchen just to be efficient. Also gonna wait out the ligma outbreak here :/12
-
GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES. MANY PEOPLE RANT ABOUT JOB HUBTING AND INSANE REQUIREMENTS. SO HERE IN SPAIN I'M SURE THE SITUATION IS WORSE. NO FUCKING JOBS. WHEN YOU FIND AN OFFER THAT DOESN'T MENTION PHP, JAVA OR COBOL OHH. YOU NEED TO BE A FUCKING WP, FULL STACK, ANDROID AND IOS DEVELOPER, A FUCKING SYSADMIN AND HAVE 99 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. SO YOU CAN SAY: hey search a junior offer! YEAH SURE ONE SECOND. 4-15 FUCKING YEARS OF FUCKING EXPERIENCE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES AAAAH
8 -
Sent email to my parents this morning telling them to contact me by email since the Pie update broke my One Plus 6 (when I tried to reroot it but got a bootloop and restoring from TWRP screwed it up even more somehow) so restoring it.
First response from my dad: you can use my spare S9...
Yes he has a spare because he got it in a 2 for 1 deal... but I'm thinking uhhh..... It's not like I physically dropped the phone and cracked the screen... (like he did to his late 2 phones)... I'm 99% sure I can restore somehow... Like I did last time (a few months ago)7 -
So today installed this plugin on all my compatible JetBrains IDEs:
https://plugins.jetbrains.com/plugi...
Especially as an Android dev I look at Gradle build progress bars about 99% of the time, so better make them look great while I'm at it.7 -
I swear upon the gods of the internet! Any time I am trying to read an article/blog post/anything and the site puts a god damn pop-up form asking me to sign up for something, I leave the site. ESPECIALLY ON MOBILE WHEN YOU CANT CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOW WITHOUT GIVING UP YOUR INFO.
And every time a client asks me to do this I nicely explain how much people hate pop-ups, 99% of the time I've closed the window or tab before I even read what the box is asking for, I don't care.
If the user is trying to read something, then they are trying to read something, and they don't want to be bothered with your ridiculous attempts for information gathering so you can spam them later.10 -
Source code works on my local machine, even when I present it to the relevant users; no body panics its all part of the plan. Place it on the server and it does not work AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MIND!1
-
I was trying to install a HACKintosh on my computer, but the soul of Steve Jobs saw this and crashed my computer at 99 %. Thank you 😕1
-
Female : how hardcore aye you ?
Me : I clear all notifs in devRant even if it is 99+ all the time
Female : wow, lets get laid already3 -
On iOS 11, Apple is no longer allowing you to open apps that are 32 bit. Apple should have given all the developers with 32-bit apps free access to the developer program rather than forcing them to pay a $99 fee to publish a 64-bit version of their app.
This would’ve made better business sense for them as publishers would have had an opportunity to create new apps and see more revenue coming in from upgraded apps. Ultimately more money for Apple. Not sure what dumb fool at Apple HQ thought this was a good idea.6 -
Guys, I am at that level of personal projects, where happiness is 99%! That is 90% more since the last 2 hours3
-
Junior devs PR -
line 98: Catches FileNotFoundException.
line 99: Immediately throws FileNotFoundException
--
CHANGE REQUESTED 🤦🏻♂️1 -
Yesterday my cousin called me to fix his scanner, he said that it didn't work anymore. When i went to his house to check it out, the scanner worked properly! In the 99% of cases, the problem is between the device and the chair2
-
To create a bank that's 99% digital (the 1% is for office space) with no BS charges and kick-ass money management tools.6
-
Dear software developers, I realise, as a dev myself, the need for auto updates for security and stability, but, outside of only a few niche circumstances, are they really necessary on a fucking *daily* or even *hourly* basis? Congratulations for fixing that minor specific non-crucial bug that 99% of users have never encountered, and I'm happy you're maintaining your code so diligently, but couldn't it wait until next Sunday? By that time I'm sure you could combine the update with all the other minor fixes you'll come up with the interim.
And I wouldn't have to click my way through this shit every time I open the app4 -
Estimate for writing a custom WordPress plugin:
1 hour - Learn the API the plugin will support
1 hour - Review how plugins are written
60 hours - Set up XAMPP only to find that the version with PHP 7 no longer supports MySQL but something called MariaDB which my host doesn't support and then uninstall XAMPP and install MAMP only to get really frustrated setting it up and beat myself for not just buying that $99 Windows Pro upgrade so I can install Kalabox with HyperV which is much easier than all of this and why doesn't Kalabox have a way of supporting Windows Home because not everyone buys Windows Pro or can afford a Mac or has time to screw around with 100 possible Linux distros to figure out which one will work best and then buy gasoline and matches and set it on fire and watch it all buuuuuuurn such pretty fire.9 -
I actually saw this right now from my radio which should display the time... Was able to go from 0 to 99 o'clock..
Someone messed up really bad
...
6 -
I'm 19, and I was given a $1500 scholarship to take 80 hours of Office 2016 classes. It was going to disappear if no one used it. I get to stay home for the online courses, and it doesn't count against my vacation time.
I get paid for 8 hours a day while I take each class, even though I get an hour lunch and usually get out of class an hour early.
I know 99% of Office capabilities already, but this is a good stress reliever. Life is good4 -
Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase
Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works -
So the Computer Science departent at my university has a shelf where people can give away technical books they don't need anymore. I found a giant UNIX system administration book from 1995 there the other day, and i am blown away by how many useful things i could find in such an old book; basically all of the unix flavours mentioned are long dead (with the exception of bsd and linux ofc), and so is 99% of the software, but all of the core concepts and basic tasks still hold true in 2018... Isn't that amazing? :D Where else can you find a system that still works the same after 23 years?6
-
Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab
He tells us to try it out at our workstations.
We do. The code does work. We tell him.
He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."
Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?
We were flabbergasted2 -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little huge, take on down, patch it around, 157 little bugs in the code
-
I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti
-
Deep Thought Rant
It's funny how the world works these days...companies only looking for "senior *something*" developers to work...
Mentorship and internship also do matter. What's happening?...sure you can contribute to open source but having a mentor also helps. Working as an intern allows one to see not only tech bit but workplace environment. How to deal with deadlines, feeling good and wasted at the same time when one bug that took a 3 minutes to fix but 3 hours to find, presenting your work; well what's working only, being bashed when it's your fault or not (even though that sucks), learning from your mentor and so on
Are their companies that still do this?3 -
99 IT recruiters on the phone, 99 IT recruiters.
Take one down and pass it around, 99 IT recruiters on the phone.3 -
There are few things that I regret like I didn't start with SDL or openGL sooner but there is few things that I fucking do not regret.
One of them is that I become part of this community.
I regret that I didn't know that when you reach10K your motifs will be 99 all day -
99 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs
Take one down and pass it around
127 little bugs in the code2 -
When you are involved in a conflict of interest project and its kept under wraps ...but your IT director still wants you to do it because his friend needs something done but don't want to pay for it
Who else has faced this? Or am I the only one...?3 -
Why is choosing a name for a new dev project so difficult? It seems 99% of names I think of have already been taken! Any suggestions?19
-
That sweet feeling when the project is over and you can finally close all the 99+ tabs on the browser.
Feeling so happy right now! :) -
How modern smartphone OSs (Android) deal with battery charge.
// handler for when the battery level changes
public void onLevelChange (BatteryInfo info) {
if(info.batteryLevel() < 99) Device.getBattery().drainAllCharge()
}1 -
Just saw a job ad asking 8+ years of Swift experience.
Swift is a language that appeared 4 years ago >:-(2 -
Sometimes I think "I should write a meaningful error message for this exception" and then i remember how useless 99% of the error messages of every compiler / interpreter I've ever had to use and decide "msg ='something went wrong'" is good enough.3
-
Fucking hell. I usually really like firefox but today it was a real pain in the ass to download sth. It wold download 99% and then stop. I couldn't stop the download and the file was obviously not working. I had to switch to edge and both the design and the fast download really appealed to me. Ffs firefox!4
-
Ok, I know this has been said a thousand times before, but fuck localization code.
Especially when you have to determine which badly-formatted timestamp is chronologically first.
BLEARGGHHH1 -
In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...
In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?
Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge
Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...
DAMN YOU LECTURER!3 -
What happened? I visited this site probably less than 12 hours ago, now I have 99+ notifications! And on top of that, my hard drive is almost full!
7 -
Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML4
-
So we started using Jenkins at work. Which is pretty cool so i wanted to watch some YouTube videos about it in my spare time.
But 99% of those videos are made by Indians and they are probably good videos but i just can't handle the accent. =/9 -
So I thought... Hey, why not bring my laptop running Ubuntu to school. It's faster than my Windows one, and I use it all the time at home.
Then I realized 99% of students will nag me about how I'm using a knock off version of Mac Os 😒
But if I did bring it, maybe I could FINALLY teach my computer science "teacher" something.3 -
I think that would be config tool for F1 Challenge ‘99-‘02 game which was called VMT Engine. It introduced me to modding community, the VMT Engine project taught me A LOT about software development.
The origin of this tool was I posted on F1 2014 VMT development forum thread “Hey! Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a tool that let you change tires type?”, so the VMT leader said “Why don’t you do it?”...So I did it 😐
I’m actually still updating the source code to this day1 -
I hate when Apple news websites do articles on Android. 99% of the time it's pure bullshit coming from someone whose last experience with Android was Gingerbread, if any. 9to5mac is a really bad offender, but so feel TheVerge is extra shitty with Android articles. For someone who claims to do news on everything impartially, they warp their sights towards Apple way too much.
That obviously means that costumers will get scared of leaving Apple for what might be a better experience for their use case. I just absolutely hate this kind of partial journalism.
TL;DR fuck 9to5mac and The Verge for scaring people off using Android with misinformation10 -
Now I didn't do this myself, but I've heard from a senior developer that you can modify C's if statement to require an ADDITIONAL 99% chance, making the code fail 1% of the time with no explanation.2
-
A programmer wrote scripts to secretly automate a lot of his job -- including to automatically email his wife and make himself a latte
Read more at https://businessinsider.com.au/prog...2 -
Never be a perfectionist. I am one and it kills me inside. 99% of the time I am not happy with what I did because I know I can do better. Especially on exams. Not because of the grade but because I am not on par with what I know I can do. Its pissing me of so fucking much. Fucking bullshit. Why do I suck so fuckibg much ffs. For real: you should never become a perfectionist because I see what it does to me4
-
Person: "Can you speed up my computer? Don't delete anything though."
Me: "Your hard drive is at 99%... you need to get rid of some stuff."
Person: "Can't you do it with out deleting anything?"
Me: "We can move it to a cloud service..."
Person :"No, that won't work. How will get my stuff back?"
Me: "Nvm..."2 -
I have been at my job for four months. I do 99% of the research on a problem or a fix - another employee recognizes the remaining 1 % and looks like a champ.
-
99% disk usage? Ah, Windows is updating. Guess I'll just go ahead and get nothing done then. Oh, devRant!1
-
Delivered a website to a client, pagespeed results 99 on both mobile and desktop (just 1 minus point for implementing Google analytics- since it has a too low caching time). Client insists on having a 100 pagespeed result even it doesn't change real pagespeed ... -.-2
-
Seriously?
Official dotTech site: Rs. 3200
BigRock: Rs. 99
GoDaddy: Rs. 499
I want to migrate my domain away from Big Rock not buy a new one there 🙄
-
Just got to experience this classic (again):
99 little bugs in the code, take one down, patch it around, 127 little bugs in the code... -
So I traveled for an hour and 30 minutes to go to my school and complete an assignment that is mandatory for being accepted to my study next year. Guess what.. the assignment was writing a python script that prints specific characters of a set string based on user input. Seriously??? print(str[inp1:inp2]) I was done within a minute and got to leave again. 99% of my time was spent sitting in a train wondering what the point of a mandatory assignment in python is when we are only supposed to learn it once the study starts anyway.
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If you're having merge problems I feel bad for you son, you've got 99 problems but my branch ain't one!1
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What happens when you give a database design to your boss as per what he wants done, he sees it is not impressed, scolds you, curses you out and claims you are 'fraud'. Then you tell him you can do better to redeem yourself...you submit the work better than the first time
And then he terminates you due to 'lack of proficiency'.3 -
How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?2
-
Does your PC still have a hunk of spinning rust inside it?
Crucial MX300 - 750GB - £105. 99. https://amazon.co.uk/dp/B01DUNLMUU/...
YOU'RE WELCOME.4 -
So what do you call people who like Apple devices only or Android devices only? Or someone who thinks Apple devices are superior only or Android devices are superior only ?
Devicist ???12 -
What the hell is going on Microsoft?!?!?
1)Fucking Windows Updates Out of Control
2)We've become Microsoft's testers
And finally, the thing that really frustrated me today:
Yesterday VS was working fine. Today:
99% CPU Usage In Idle
IDE hangs on every 3 symbols(hanged twice while writing 'string')1 -
I know there is SoundCloud, Earbits for music... Sometimes I use YouTube.
I am coding to get to my beast mode but my YouTube mix picks up a song I don't want and then I change tabs just to skip or change your mix...then poooofff
ALL OVA SURRRDDDDEN
You are watching "scaring cats videos" -
It looks like Windows almost stopped me from exiting the mall. I had to call customer care to save me from situation. The toll station froze on me. Why Windows? Why?
3 -
iot+Android+Azure+mySQL+GoogleAPI+TwitterAPI
Oh, Only 1 bug. exterminate.
99 bugs.
Inserted 100 rows of wrong data into tables in a Loop.
RaspberryPi Burnt due to electrical feedback from the sensors.
Android phone froze.
Wow. I still have my sensors fine though. -
any ios devs here?
i'm a fifteen year old dev collaborating with a friend and we made an app - in flutter. android we are planning on publishing, but on ios we can't afford to pay the $99 to publish. we can't even compile it on a hackintosh. if anyone is willing to compile our app and give us an ipa (or publish it), we would really appreciate it!!!6 -
A Chinese coworker who always brought a tea flavoured hand lotion bottle and applied it before coding on his finger tips and wore the same clothes from Monday to Friday changed only his shoes...2
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What the fuck is going on with atom in my desktop?!!?!?
Everytime I open it it starts comparing every single file on my pc with my github. It starts using 99% of my memory and fuck is it frustrating. I decided to just learn vim, which is cool, although I still miss managing windows with the mouse, and probably will try VS sometime in the future. I really wanted to like atom but I can't stand how slow it is compared to vim right now, even when the github shit doesn't happen.16 -
That time when I was extracting a 50GB archive and it failed at 99% :'(
Hope it was just 10 seconds though...
It was way, waaaaay more...
2 -
happy rant 😄
just finished our group software project in uni (5 students, a way too complicated game) and just got the highest possible mark of all!!🤩🤩🤩
the project was focused on having a working, bug-free game, so yeah our game was UGLY AS FUCK😅 ... but 99% no bugs😎
best group in years😇
next chapter:
human-computer-interaction(is that the translation for Mensch-Computer-Interaktion?), we'll take our games and bitch about their usability and design😅
by the way i was responsible for the design/ux and did a kinda crap job because of too little time😐😅1 -
How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb? - 100. one screws and 99 clicks the error messages away
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Met a client. He need some abc services. Client asked me what will be the sla uptime. I told him unintentionally that it will be 99% instead of 99.99% and he was like that's good. I mean seriously....?
Was he okay with the 3 days 15 hrs downtime?5 -
The industry is sometimes sad and hilarious at the same time. There was a townhall at my workplace and our country head was talking about all the new tech we were working on. Now he is a good business person but I doubt him as a tech guy. And then he went on ranting about AI and ML and how they are to going change the software landscape and how developer as a profession will become obsolete. He said the technology will reach up to a point where we no longer need to write code to build software. Obviously, I couldn't digest it and confronted him the moment after the event.
Me: so why do you think writing code will become outdated?
Him: it's just that we will be able to create a technology through which we can simply command a machine to build a software.
Me: oh. But someone needs to tell the machine how to do it right?
Him: yes. We have to train the machine to act on these commands.
Me: and do you know how you "train" these machines?
Him: umm...
Me: by writing code.2 -
Just had a 4 hour session with an external company to get connections up ... messed around 99% of the time with STX and ETX stuff only. I'm done until monday.
-
Pycharm why you no allow me to continue to use the professional edition...
Damnn and they way pycharm has served me well7 -
Got a new Processbar today, did stuck at an estimated 77% like those olds one which usually stuck at 99%.
Gave me a good chance for a couple of cups coffee. -
Life-hacks for school
-----------------------------------------------------------
Extending a deadline for a paper:
Create a word file, fill it with Lorem ipsum.
Save.
Open the word document with notepad.
Delete soms gibberish code.
Save
Word will throw an error saying the file is corrupt.
Teacher will ask for the file again after the deadline.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Deceiving a plagiarism detector.
only works if you can submit multiple times and no resource is mentioned or checked by teachers
Plagiarize something but not to much, submit it. Change a few words. Submit again.
The system will check the first submission against the second one and determine its 99% plagiarism of your own paper.1 -
Going over some NodeJS code, and I feel like the scene from "Dude Where's My Car" - "And then....And then..."
Coming from almost three years of 99% python, this hurts my eyes so much1 -
Client push back: when the client wants an impractical feature to be implemented and you tell them HELL NO, with a little sugar coating of course
-
!Rant, story
That one time my brother received a call from some Indian dude that "worked" for Microsoft, who was alerting him about a "virus".
My brother (who was in his mid teens at the time) downloaded a program that the guy linked him to, and consciously installed it to allow the dude to take over his computer. Then, with full power over the computer, guy started doing shady stuff and offered him a one year protection for $99.
Thank God mom knew what was up when he asked for her credit card info...
*facepalm*9 -
I watched an episode of Brooklyn 99. Cop comedy show for those of you who don't know. They introduced me to the monty hall problem? My brain refuses to understand it and im rapidly losing my mind.
Has anyone here ever written a program that tests it? I can't read math theorems for shit. But I can read code. And I need my sanity back.2 -
There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.
All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone -
Why do all music services have the audacity to be so fucking expensive?! Soundcloud Routinely yanks me out the zone with it's irritating fucking adverts and dogshit quality algorithm that decides I have to listen to 6 ads in a row every few songs, Get the credit card out, go to sign up for their go thing to get rid of them;
£9.99 A MONTH?!
FOR SOUNDCLOUD?!
well twist my fucking titties, no.
Exposed framework it is then! It it was 6 or even 7. 99 a month I'd consider it but 9.99?!
You fucking cheeky bastards! -
So continuing on my PC buying post, my friend found a cheaper, by $300, option but it's sort of a give and take. And not sure which one is the best. Plus AMD * still gives me a bad impression.
Last rant/Intel:
https://devrant.com/rants/1867462/...
AMD: https://slickdeals.net/f/...
CPU Compare: https://cpu.userbenchmark.com/Compa...4 -
I finally got assigned to a project, working like a dog but it is for operators safety so it feels good. Also, I have been tasked with writing custom C++ plugins for our process simulators and damn it feels so good to match both my biggest interests. I hope to not get carried away by it in my evenings since I was learning some webdev in my freetime.
Also got UNIXstickers in the mail like 99% of the people here.
Oh, I also received my Seiko SKX and damn I already love it.
-
Friend, jestingly: Gabe I did a hack, I edited the html on my browser and sent a pic to my boss so that it wouldn't look like I was 20 minutes late
Me, seriously: Friend that's literally 99% of IRL hacking. Human error.
Friend, who is positive about humanity, unlike me: why do you disappoint me like this -
!dev
So apple watch ecg would be fda approved ?
They took the most percentage organ failure and made device that helps monitor that and get why question.
Self promotion :
By the way I predicted that they would go after medical devices year ago.
https://medium.com/@szczepano/... -
Its funny when your code is tested by your peers and they approve it and it works...and when you present your progress to your PO he says it doesnt work...hmmmmm1
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Focus: Get up and walk around, disturb someone(calculated disturbing), break a window,
Procrastinating: DO IT NOW, JUST DO IT, MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
....sorry
Yes my 2 cents -
Something very interesting today
I worked on an API feature and it was approved and merge to the stable copy of the project. But then comes the demo.
Now we used Heroku(this devil)
The database uses sqlite. I can register an account on the web application. But the user table has only the admin account even though i have successfully managed to register.
I dont know what sorcery this was!
I simply went with the saying "it is working on my local machine"
Only to realise minutes to the demo the build pack was not done well at the beginning...
What is life... -
All married devs here who married devs
Why did you chose a dev and not another profession?
Of course skipping the love5 -
Projects are like progress bars, they are really quick at 80-99% and then it takes a while until they have finished. The reason is the same, nobody thought about milestones and goals.1
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So, guess what, a few days back I couldn't get Spotify to work in anyway whatsoever. So I started using Google play music and just when I start to enjoy it, they ask me to pay Rs 99 a month. (2$). Cmon Google, you're already making a lot of money, you're not giving me a job, and now I can't enjoy free music?5
-
Can i just get a simple consistent react tutorial that goes step by step even when consuming an API...
IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR? -
You build, develop and test systems and software...but because its under the bracket of IT, they think playing music and kinda sorta being a DJ and watchman of a laptop during a promotion is sufficient for you.
-
!dev
I hate $ .99.... spent all morning trying to figure out how to get free shipping.
Tried looking for a filler item but nothing good. Then looked at some funko-pop figures but not that interested... and still cost $10
Finally just went asked them to waive it... but still... that took almost an hour...
And now back to regularly scheduled programming... with 1hr less sleep....oh n it's a Monday...
-
My fiancee was a developer and is now starting recruiting. The recruitment agency knows that she's a tech girl. I'm trying to push her to get all the IT recruitment jobs, because we all know that java != javascript, she does too, but 99% of recruiters do not. Whats the best way you were approached by a recruiter? And should she show to the recruitees that she has tech knowledge? Would you , yourself look at a recruiter that knows about IT differently? Advice appreciated :)4
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Planning to write a new book called "How to get a relationship in tech".
First page: you don't. 99 other pages: blank
Totally not frustrated at all /s12 -
!rant
Avatar request: separate colour choice for beard.
... I'm not exactly in the 99%, but my beard hair isn't the same colour as my head hair. 😂5 -
Okay so I'm new to C++ and my competition is either tomorrow or Thursday. And before I go into the comp I need a good random number generator but the problem is I can't get a good one . And when I run mine I either get the same number a few times in a row then when it changes it just increments a few until it hits 99 then restarts. And I only want it to generate different numbers everytime with a 1/99 chance to get the same number.4
-
Am i the only one who stop watching conference whenever a Windows developer comes in and try to give his piece of shitty advice cause trust me guy 99% of times this advice is linked to some shitty promotion of their twat service their cloud,test labs whatever . Fucking waste of one hour . Microsoft is a bag of shit company
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Ran a test today. It was comparing whether a the reducer returned the correct state when a type and list is passed to it. The test failed. But something very curious happened. I am using webstorm and so the IDE told me 'click to see differences'. I did and the message at the top read as follows "The 2 lists are identical" (The expected and actual result). So my test worked but it didn't work. What is life!? I finally got it working though😕2
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I don't get the bug "joke" that's flying around. If you have 99 bugs and fix one, why would you have more? Do you not have automated tests?5
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Is the ransomware attack using leaked NSA hacking tools affecting 99 countries is seriously serious or should be categorized as fake news14
-
I do IT support for a Uni.
A ticket comes in about how the site looks weird after an update.
Spend 10 minutes looking through Chrome dev view (we don't have access to backend).
Give up and assign to web team.
... Why do the people who manage the site not know anything about web development? 99% chance it's a just a quick CSS fix. -
Writing DAL code that I am 99% sure will be replaced really soon along with the database schema.
Angry coding is almost as good as tipsy coding - AMAZING. -
Created a win7 vm for a test in an environment of all of Linux vms. Named it billgates. I'm 99% sure my other vms increased resource load in spite. There is a revolution brewing.
-
Spent the last few days trying to solve a weird issue with our CI/CD pipeline for a project. Yesterday i finally gave up and told my coworker that i need a fresh set of eyes to look at this.
I leave for lunch, an hour later I'm back and brought fire and fury to the mix.. Then, 2 hours later i raised my hands and my mouth uttered the glorious words of victory: Fuck yeah, it works.
Mood was still shit though... 1 bug down, 99 life problems remain 😢 -
Damnnn my Team lead is hinting that i write a test for the feature I paired with a team member.
But the large django code base is ridden with abstract classes and classes and inheritance etc...its going to be a long night -
So, I told the interviewer that my frontend skills are bad. He said that I should not worry as the tests where backend centered, good. Later, I got the job, now the interviewer, which happens to be the head of tech in the company I work for, has assigned me two tasks involving 99% of work on the frontend.
FFS, I've been searching on Internet and reading Kendo UI documentation for 4 hours to figure how to trigger the KendoGrid editable popup with populated data to enable the user to update such data. AAAAARGH!!!1 -
Shallow() or To Mount()....shit react tests have been killing me. The issues on github have not been resolved. And our team lead has insisted on them even more. Haha they way I have been ditching them.
-
So i'm a beginner trying to learn machine learning, i've been studying python by the last 6 weeks or so, my 3rd try on learning code (1st tried Java: got bored then 2nd tried Kotlin: didn't know what to do 99% of the time, got stressed) and then i had the brilliant idea to make my first ML script a sentiment analysis one... from scratch... you know what happened.
I'm trying something easy tomorrow.7 -
Repel people who think just because I did IT (and they skip the part to ask, what specifically in IT), I can fix their computers only and I'm of no use beyond that. Immediately they think "he is an IT guy maybe he can fix..." Vrooommm and they are no longer in my view
Magnetic repulsion like how Magneto pushed away Logan in "Days of Future Past" -
Who the fuck authorizes a new build to be pushed at 430pm on a friday and then demands full regression testing be done immediately regardless of how long it takes? Fucking analysts shouldn't be allowed to dictate the schedule if they don't understand the effort required behind the scenes.
99% of the time I wouldn't care but I'm the only tester with DB access and I'm supposed to go on the first date I've had in months tonight at 6.
#HelloDarknessMyOldFriend2 -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs in the code. Take one down, patch it around 117 little bugs in the code.
-____________- -
Use Linear gradient ...
No use rgba
Arghhhh...okay rgba looks OK...wait linear gradient is better...no wait
Hallelujah!!!!!2 -
I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam
-
My credo in (a.o.) dev is to sit down, shut up, and get it over with. Works every time. Except that my colleagues 99 out of a 100 times fail to shut up :(
-
If anyone is looking for a Switch there's a FB sale coming up in the next few hours.
https://cnet.com/news/...
Also I caved and actually bought that PC I wanted, seems apparently the price on Sunday wasn't correct... or a lot of people like me called in and complained.
https://newegg.com/Product/...1 -
I'm 99% sure that stuff Johnny Ive goes over about how "For every 1000 no's there's 1 yes" for the iPhone is about the number of errors that are thrown before they finally get something to work with no errors
-
Well here i thought i would have done work...and pooof its time to go home
All i did was refactor with and make PR...
*SIGH*
I guess today was one of those days where little work was done -
My first close encounter with a computer was with a came called "Skunny: Save our pizzas" in I think 1996 or 1997" and it used to run in dos.
And then next one that I remember was in 98/99 with my uncle ordering groceries on a PC. With a dial up modem.
I got my first machine in 2005 and the first game that I installed was Skunny: Save our pizzas. -
I was out of work for 6 months...I applied at a company that takes in devs and trains them. There was a test, then a personal interview, then a bootcamp process...it was hard. But I pulled through.
-
Why does the biggest mobile money payment system in our country have such crappy documentation! Arghh
And they tell us to read the DOCUMENTATION it has all the answers -
Am I only one with this? : Got new macbook, and every time it gets 100% charge immediately after unplugging it, I am checking a lot when it's coming to 99% and trying to make the battery consumption low. When it hits 99% , I tell to myself it's lost, ideal dream is over, let's use it into its full power. And typically adjust brightness, turn on things I was holding on. But it's changing with time :D Sometimes I feel like it's overheating, or too quickly discharging.
4 -
Love & Hate of my dev career because almost all my time is
- 99% in various setup&config tools : setup sdk, sdk packages, sdk plug-ins, sdk dependency, IDE , IDE plug-ins, IDE middleware language plug-in and etc.
- 1% enjoying coding paradise before the storm of sdk and IDE updates comes and take away 99% of my time again :( -
Been using Linux since 99' and only just now discovered chown --reference can be used with . so you can fix janky folders in a jiffy.
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