margin-right: -100px !important

Dear Apple.

Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.

Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.

windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

Showers

99% of my bugs are fixed whilst I'm in the shower

Honestly, I should just get a waterproof computer and write code in there

I sold my first app today. I’m 70 cents richer now. ;)

An interesting paradox

"When your computer overheats, why does it freeze..."

99% of the devs be like

catch(Exception e)
{
// Not a single fuck given
}

I got 99 problems but encoding ain’t one

Upload App to Google Play:
- Build APK file in Unity
- Pay $25 = €20 one-time fee
- Fill in the details
- Upload for review

Upload app to App Store:
- Pay $99 = €99 yearly fee
- Borrow someone's MacBook because buying one just for development is not worth it.
- Install Unity on that Mac
- Failed to install Xcode because it doesn't have the latest OS version
- Adds app to Itunes Connect and find out the name is already in use (no problem on Google Play)
- Asks friend to look for the same app name --> not found
- Create certificates for both iOS development and deployment
- Goes to another friend for their mac and add their iPhone's UDID (You need a mac for that)
- Install Unity and Xcode
- Open project I saved on a USB drive
- Build to iOS and gets stuck at some point --> couldn't fix
- devrant.com because I once more need a mac

Apple please let me just export a game without the need of a $1000 overpriced machine.

I have got 99 problems and emoji encoding ain't one of them.

P.S. /r/softwaregore

Don't know if this has been post yet before but ohhh well

I've got 99 problems and all of them are priority one.

Time spent on Web Development :

1% : {
actual productive content and features
}

99% : {
Please. All I want is for this div to vertically align in this other one. Is that too much to ask?
}

When your PC tries to teach you philosophy

z-index: 9;
😕
z-index: 99;
😐
z-index: 999;
😑
z-index: 9999;
😡
z-index: 9999 !important;
😠
z-index: 9999 !IMPORTANTAHFA;
😲

My finished side projects are very much like my girlfriend,

Nonexistent.

5 reasons I love devRant

1. I can't understand the point of Facebook. And it has such a shitty UI, but devRant has a beautiful despite it is complete JS

2. It doesnt have 140 char limit.

3. It is 99% english.

4. Trolls and script kiddies are rare here.

5. It is fairly lightweight.

======================

1 reason I hate devRant

1. Total waste of time.

Who said iPhone X doesn't have home button? Apple will sell it to you for $99😅

Just some information for Javascript developers

Expert Beginner

Just read this in German craigslist:

I make your new fancy website...only 99€...no wordpress, cuz thats for blogs only...
I program object oriented in HTML/CSS!

1 of 99 reasons, I like linux over windows.

If you’re having SQL injection problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 tables but… fffffuck. Now i only have one ☹️

OMFG I just realized that I was around at wk1

Fuck, Its been 99 already

The Most Irritating Moment!!!
-_-

How to punish new users to Linux when they type sl instead of ls

Social let's-help-female-programmers warriors piss me off.

The other day a massive email thread at work on how women are misrepresented in tech and how we need to help them and how using words such as "guys" is intimidating and generally patronising shit like "let's advertise jobs on websites like femaleprogrammers.com instead stackoverflow because there's too many white males on stackoverflow."

99% participants in this topic were guys.
One girl sent a message saying she doesn't want to be helped and she wants to know she has been picked for her skill and not filling in diversity numbers.

...would you believe she has been schooled on problems women in tech face by those lads too.

Like "woman, please... we speak diversity here"

So annoying....!!

Do you reckon there could be other rant boards out there? Developers can't be the only people with problems... AccountantRant? TruckieRant? PainterRant?
...PresidentRant? Oh wait, that's his Twitter...

1% of OSS: “I came across this very common issue which is a pain in the arse, I pulled together this awesome solution for the community, packaged it nicely, here, use it.” - 3 ⭐️ on Github.

The remaining 99%: “I was bored last Sunday so maed zis.” - 10’393 ⭐️ on GitHub.

This shit moment.

Advice that I give to interns/grads:

In uni/college, you're taught *how* to code something to achieve a goal, and 99% of the time the code will work and do the job in a lab.

But when building things for a real production environment, you learn the 100 ways how *not* to code, from seeing things break left right and centre - basically everything and anything can break your code, whether it is users, the OS, other people's code, legacy code, lag, concurrency, the alignment of the moon to your server...

99 bugs in the code
99 bugs in the code
Take one down
and patch it up
117 bugs in the code

Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."

Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."

Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."

Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."

Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."

The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."

Does anyone else feel like progress bars increase at random intervals and then stop at 99% until its actually done?

Never get high on your own supplies

I'm a Python dev, yet 99% of my work over last 3 weeks has been JS. How do js devs not sit in the corner of a room crying at the end of a day?

Non dev related but: release my first track 😊

I'd love to create something which is near musical perfection for myself 😃

There's a couple of tracks which come close for me but not 99 percent yet.

How to become cool in a developer community:
- try javascript for the first time
- pretend to use it like your favorite programming language (99% C)
- notice it is different
- rant about how stupid is javascript and its users

Z-indexing my whole life.

9
99
999
9999
99999
999999999999
999999999999999999998

Maybe 5 seconds is a bit too much but....

I could be wrong, but I believe all devs love a clear section saying

"Getting Started" to any form of documentation

Publishing fees:

Android - 25$ once (fixed*)
Microsoft Store - 19$ once¹
Steam Game - 100$ / game²
itch.io - free²
Unreal - free⁴
Unity - free⁵

And then there is Apple...
Apple - 99$ / year

¹ (99$ for enterprise)
² (legacy was 100$ once for charity)
³ (30% of profit for them)
⁴ (5% if more profit than 12.000$/year)
⁵ (until more profit than $100.000/year)

Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it

99 bugs in the code. 99 bugs in the coooode. Squish one out, patch it around. 128 bugs in the code.

If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!

😉😂😂😂😂

* On a field trip *

🎵 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵

Oh please don't.
...

🎵 1 BOTTLE OF BEER ON THE WALL, 1 BOTTLE OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 0 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵

Finally, they've been singing for like an hour. Good thing it's ove--

🎵 0 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 0 BOTTLES OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 4294967295 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 🎵

>_>

Brand new Pinebook. An ARM based system with a nominal price of $99.

It is a little bit like a Raspberry Pi, but with 2GB RAM and slightly worse community support.

1999 looks promising 😁

Am I the only one who, on seeing a post/rant on devRant with 49 or 99 or 149 or 199 existing ++... upvotes it to get it to an even number and then reads it?

SQL Server gives such descriptive errors after failing at 99% -_-

Just switched to 99% DuckDuckGo a couple of days ago.
Is there a term for searching with DDG?
- "DDGing" maybe??

One reason for using it: Dark theme! 🖤

fucking mashable. I hate it so much. did you see their story today? they're supposed to be about "tech" BUT THEY TALKED ABOUT WHAT THE COLOR OF YOUR FUCKING IPHONE SAYS ABOUT YOU. THEN THEY TALKED ABOUT A CASE. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, THATS AN ANDROID CASE NOT AN IPHONE CASE. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE FUCK THESE PEOPLE ARE EMPLOYED? 99% OF THE PEOPLE ON DEVRANT COULD DO A 100% BETTER JOB. AMERICA AND OTHER COUNTRIES ARE ALL NOW STUPIDER BY LOOKING AT YOUR CONTENT. FUCK YOU MASHABLE🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

So I was studying for a test using a quizlet my social studies teacher made, and I came across this gem. 99% sure my social studies teacher didn't read what it said/understand what it means.

I don't care how technically competent or how much experience you have...

A list of files is in alphabetical order 99% of the fricking time.

If I ask you to open "index.html" and have to watch over your shoulder as you hunt for it in the C,D,E section... and then you quickly scroll down to S,T,U and start looking there... I swear I will jam that wireless mouse where the sun don't shine.

Can this happen to a dev???

When you +1 a rant with 99 upvotes so the user can receive the devRant squishy ball.

No... No... No!

The game engine is not in charge of code optimisation, if your program runs like ass; it is 99% going to be your fault...

Sick of seeing people judge engines because of the poorly optimised things made in them by half assed developers... Why do the good things never get any attention where the shit gets all of it... Why?!

(Just had someone crack the shits at me because I'm not using a 'real' engine and am not a a 'real' developer because I'm not using unreal... So I'm in a fan-fucking-tastic mood after that :-D)

I did 99% of the work

Reasons to beta test others software:
99% To show it off to others
1% To auctually help

If your manager asks for a "rough time estimate" for a project, there is a higher than 99% chance that your answer will be written down and be used in presentations of project roadmap to upper management and/or marketing, who will create a hard deadline based on your rough estimate and communicate this to customers/clients, and then blame you for not keeping the deadline when it turns out (as it always does) that the rough estimate was off by several months because feature creep caused by upper management.

It’s weekend, time to blow off steam and recharge with some protein and carbs,

And nothing beats a double quarter pounder while watching brooklyn 99,

Day 99: Everyone is still talking about allo

Okay, question;

Can I use ANY phone number in my game?

According to Wikipidia:
"Numbers between (555)-0100 & (555)-0199 are reserved for fictional use."
But.. I'm wanting to have a little phone pop up in my game that you can enter phone numbers into and text the corresponding player (and i hope to have more than 99 players) I would just have contact names, but I want players ti be able to dick around with other players.. Like, post their number to in-game telemarketers and such. What fo you think I should do?

Also, the barcoded zebra is outdated now. QR is the new thing.

I am so fucking sick of getting asked to implement special cases / features for 1 fucking customer just because the customer wants to do something differently (read fucking stupidly).

This piece of shit codebase already has easy on 500 special cases that were put in place to please some asshole who does'nt even use the feature he demanded once he realised what a wanker he was being.

Now I have to put in yet another bunch of conditional statements all over the place to pad another fucking douche bags ego.

For fuck sake can they not just use the software as it is. If some dick really wants shit his special glorious way can we not just fork the codebase give him his shit and he can stay on the same special fucking version forever without future updates because the other 99% of user aren't retarded.

6 hours of weekly progress report meeting in client’s office EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY.

Yes it’s a progress report meeting that can be done via email or skype

Yes it takes 6 hours

When we go to the meeting, we have
1. The boss
2. The 1% PM + 99% sales guy
3. The secretary who document everything in that meeting
4. Me as a dev

The only thing i do is to answer “yes, that’s technicaly possible” or “no, that’s stupid” when the client ask for some features or changes.

Sometimes i’m just being an accessory in that meeting.

It was years ago before i quit and become a designer 👌🏼

I got 99 problems but a missing semi-colin makes them 132.

Requirements for developing iOS apps:
$99/year, Swift, OSX, Mac, Xcode, and patience waiting for app store approval. Are there even iOS devs out there or it's just a scam?

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

🎶0118 999 881 99 9119 725 3🎶

99 bugs in the code....

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

Has anyone else noticed a amplification of battery drain..?

Like... You start at 100%. It takes about 30mins to drop to 99%. And to me, it seems that for each % you go down, the next one comes faster. By the time I hit 5%, It's nearly a second counter.

git commit -m "fixed bug where div wasn't resizing with window size change. Next I'll work on new bug which makes it so the pages won't load at all"

Things I hear when people find out, that i cant see red and green well...

99% WHAT COLOR IS THIS PEN?
1% Oh, well, ok...
FFS ppl ITS ANNOYING!

I've got 99 problems.. And a massive failure of a raid 5 array just added to it.. Meh!

Introduction to graphics

Lecturer says "this is a very practical course. In fact I think we should have a practical exam"

All students agree. He would sort out that matter.

Meanwhile he taught us how to making shapes in java, then a house, then a game...

And the exam was for us to make a building where a user can walk through the building using the arrow keys...

What fun we had. We got out marks...and everybody did well!!!!

why u should never use goto

Ok I'm finally learning Ruby and...

why the hell is an else-if 'elsif'

that's just disgusting

99 files changed with 1,954 additions and 1,156 deletions.

F E E L S G O O D M A N!

99% of apps I remove from my phone are apps with bad UI/UX interfaces 😂

My job in a nutshell:

*fixes app, so it's working 99% bug free*
*Chrome update*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
*iOS 10 comes out*
*app is full of bugs*
*fixes bugs*
"we can now remove iOS7 support"
*removes code*
*app is full of bugs*

For fucks sake!!

Woke up to 99+ notifications. Thank you @jase

Wrote a long post on Android.
Wanted to reformat.
Wanted to make sure I won't screw up so I'll copy all text first.
Selected huge part of the text.
Mistakenly tapped on "paste" instead of "select all"
99% of my post is replaced with some unintelligible shit from before.
Where the fuck is CTRL+Z?!?!

FML

99% Accuracy model from the first run!

3 Years into coding and I still have no fucking clue on what 99% of the lines in a sample code means. And I'm already 18 Years Old... Beginning to think this line of work isn't for me T_T

Tunes throughout the work day...

Someone's interrupting:
Queen, Don't Stop Me Now

Working on same bug for hours:
Muse, Supermassive Black Hole

Merge Conflicts:
Jay Z, 99 problems

In the zone coding:
xzibit, Concentrate

All bugs squashed, deployed, going home:
Louis Armstrong, What a Wonderful World

GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES. MANY PEOPLE RANT ABOUT JOB HUBTING AND INSANE REQUIREMENTS. SO HERE IN SPAIN I'M SURE THE SITUATION IS WORSE. NO FUCKING JOBS. WHEN YOU FIND AN OFFER THAT DOESN'T MENTION PHP, JAVA OR COBOL OHH. YOU NEED TO BE A FUCKING WP, FULL STACK, ANDROID AND IOS DEVELOPER, A FUCKING SYSADMIN AND HAVE 99 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. SO YOU CAN SAY: hey search a junior offer! YEAH SURE ONE SECOND. 4-15 FUCKING YEARS OF FUCKING EXPERIENCE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES AAAAH

Why the fuck did i rent a hugeass aparment when i spend 99% in one room?? Im gonna home office today in the kitchen just to be efficient. Also gonna wait out the ligma outbreak here :/

Game over. Courtesy: IG/allindiabakchod

I got 99 problems

But they can wait till Monday.

Cheers to the fucking weekend!

What's wrong with the USPS...my stressball has been stuck in Jamaica for the last 10 months...

I got 99 problems but a fix ain't one ;)

(the meeting)

I've had a non-IT world colleague ask me to build a website, I asked if it's a static website like resume etc with no database & stuff. I quoted $1000 if that's the case since that's minimal maintenance
He goes he needs a simple website, like eBay to sell his products. Also need features like Amazon, integration of various payments. And this and that.

For $1000 !!

I felt good that he thinks I can make an e-commerce site but f¢k that thinking man.. I told him to hire a freelancer and told him about few sites.

Maybe we'll see a thousand dollar e-commerce site, haha I only hope the payments part is secure 😂😂 I ain't buying anything anyways. I'm 99 % sure nobody's gonna do it and next time we talk, he's gonna be like 1000 and a 50 haha

I was trying to install a HACKintosh on my computer, but the soul of Steve Jobs saw this and crashed my computer at 99 %. Thank you 😕

Sent email to my parents this morning telling them to contact me by email since the Pie update broke my One Plus 6 (when I tried to reroot it but got a bootloop and restoring from TWRP screwed it up even more somehow) so restoring it.

First response from my dad: you can use my spare S9...

Yes he has a spare because he got it in a 2 for 1 deal... but I'm thinking uhhh..... It's not like I physically dropped the phone and cracked the screen... (like he did to his late 2 phones)... I'm 99% sure I can restore somehow... Like I did last time (a few months ago)

99 bytes but a bit ain't 1.

Female : how hardcore aye you ?
Me : I clear all notifs in devRant even if it is 99+ all the time
Female : wow, lets get laid already

I swear upon the gods of the internet! Any time I am trying to read an article/blog post/anything and the site puts a god damn pop-up form asking me to sign up for something, I leave the site. ESPECIALLY ON MOBILE WHEN YOU CANT CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOW WITHOUT GIVING UP YOUR INFO.

And every time a client asks me to do this I nicely explain how much people hate pop-ups, 99% of the time I've closed the window or tab before I even read what the box is asking for, I don't care.

If the user is trying to read something, then they are trying to read something, and they don't want to be bothered with your ridiculous attempts for information gathering so you can spam them later.

Source code works on my local machine, even when I present it to the relevant users; no body panics its all part of the plan. Place it on the server and it does not work AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MIND!

The face you make, when you download something and the countdown turns into a counter at 99%

Dear software developers, I realise, as a dev myself, the need for auto updates for security and stability, but, outside of only a few niche circumstances, are they really necessary on a fucking *daily* or even *hourly* basis? Congratulations for fixing that minor specific non-crucial bug that 99% of users have never encountered, and I'm happy you're maintaining your code so diligently, but couldn't it wait until next Sunday? By that time I'm sure you could combine the update with all the other minor fixes you'll come up with the interim.

And I wouldn't have to click my way through this shit every time I open the app

On iOS 11, Apple is no longer allowing you to open apps that are 32 bit. Apple should have given all the developers with 32-bit apps free access to the developer program rather than forcing them to pay a $99 fee to publish a 64-bit version of their app.

This would’ve made better business sense for them as publishers would have had an opportunity to create new apps and see more revenue coming in from upgraded apps. Ultimately more money for Apple. Not sure what dumb fool at Apple HQ thought this was a good idea.

Junior devs PR -

line 98: Catches FileNotFoundException.

line 99: Immediately throws FileNotFoundException

--

CHANGE REQUESTED 🤦🏻‍♂️

Estimate for writing a custom WordPress plugin:

1 hour - Learn the API the plugin will support
1 hour - Review how plugins are written
60 hours - Set up XAMPP only to find that the version with PHP 7 no longer supports MySQL but something called MariaDB which my host doesn't support and then uninstall XAMPP and install MAMP only to get really frustrated setting it up and beat myself for not just buying that $99 Windows Pro upgrade so I can install Kalabox with HyperV which is much easier than all of this and why doesn't Kalabox have a way of supporting Windows Home because not everyone buys Windows Pro or can afford a Mac or has time to screw around with 100 possible Linux distros to figure out which one will work best and then buy gasoline and matches and set it on fire and watch it all buuuuuuurn such pretty fire.

To create a bank that's 99% digital (the 1% is for office space) with no BS charges and kick-ass money management tools.

Guys, I am at that level of personal projects, where happiness is 99%! That is 90% more since the last 2 hours

Look what happens when you open more than 99 incognito tabs in chrome...

Yesterday my cousin called me to fix his scanner, he said that it didn't work anymore. When i went to his house to check it out, the scanner worked properly! In the 99% of cases, the problem is between the device and the chair

!rant
lmao power pdf a $99 value.

I actually saw this right now from my radio which should display the time... Was able to go from 0 to 99 o'clock..

Someone messed up really bad
...

2017: jump into the near future

AnotherJSFramework.js

So AJSF.js

So the Computer Science departent at my university has a shelf where people can give away technical books they don't need anymore. I found a giant UNIX system administration book from 1995 there the other day, and i am blown away by how many useful things i could find in such an old book; basically all of the unix flavours mentioned are long dead (with the exception of bsd and linux ofc), and so is 99% of the software, but all of the core concepts and basic tasks still hold true in 2018... Isn't that amazing? :D Where else can you find a system that still works the same after 23 years?

Why I don't use Stack Overflow 99% of the time:

Me: I'm not a ruby developer, but I have to write a small script in ruby. I ran into a problem where i'm getting behavior I don't expect. I have a method which expects an array, and when multiple items are passed into it from the command line parser, behaves appropriately, but when only one command line argument is passed, the method breaks because it was passed a single element, not an array of one element. Here's my code, how do I get my desired behavior?

Most highly voted answer: your problem is your passing it a single element and not an array

Question downvoted into oblivion. As if i'm a pleb for not immediately having a perfect grasp of dynamic typing because when I have the choice I stick with strong nominative typing.

Meanwhile at Disney World...

Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab

He tells us to try it out at our workstations.

We do. The code does work. We tell him.

He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."

Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?

We were flabbergasted

Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase

Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works

There are few things that I regret like I didn't start with SDL or openGL sooner but there is few things that I fucking do not regret.
One of them is that I become part of this community.
I regret that I didn't know that when you reach10K your motifs will be 99 all day

I'm 19, and I was given a $1500 scholarship to take 80 hours of Office 2016 classes. It was going to disappear if no one used it. I get to stay home for the online courses, and it doesn't count against my vacation time.

I get paid for 8 hours a day while I take each class, even though I get an hour lunch and usually get out of class an hour early.

I know 99% of Office capabilities already, but this is a good stress reliever. Life is good

I've got 99 errors and I can't find one... 🎶

I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti

When I saw someone legitimately using my tool for F1 Challenge ‘99-‘02 game.

99 little bugs in the code, 99 little huge, take on down, patch it around, 157 little bugs in the code

Deep Thought Rant

It's funny how the world works these days...companies only looking for "senior *something*" developers to work...

Mentorship and internship also do matter. What's happening?...sure you can contribute to open source but having a mentor also helps. Working as an intern allows one to see not only tech bit but workplace environment. How to deal with deadlines, feeling good and wasted at the same time when one bug that took a 3 minutes to fix but 3 hours to find, presenting your work; well what's working only, being bashed when it's your fault or not (even though that sucks), learning from your mentor and so on

Are their companies that still do this?

99 IT recruiters on the phone, 99 IT recruiters.
Take one down and pass it around, 99 IT recruiters on the phone.

Any Stromae fans on devrant

His music get me in the zone...when code works and test pass 😅😅😅

I have 99 problems but a merge conflict ain't one of 'em

99 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs
Take one down and pass it around
127 little bugs in the code

I got 99 warnings but an error ain't one

I know I posted this earlier, here's the meme image to go with it!

If you're having CSS problems, I feel bad for you son,

I got 99 problems that I fixed with 'z-index: 100;'

I've known that users are stupid and should keep that in mind when designing a website. But holy shit that's ridiculous!!!

He said that "when something is not on the middle of the screen flashing then we are not seeing it!"

How the fuck would it look like if I will place the fucking menubar on the middle of the screen with flashing red and blue colors for you dumbass to see?? If you are that incompetent to look on the top (not to mention it's fixed) of the layout where 99% of main menus are placed then you shouldn't use a computer in the first place.

Or maybe my design is bad I am getting uncertain.

99 problems but a conflict ain't one

I got 99 problems and java is all of them.

If you're having log problems I feel bad for you, son
I've got 99 problems
in the log ain't one

How modern smartphone OSs (Android) deal with battery charge.

// handler for when the battery level changes
public void onLevelChange (BatteryInfo info) {
if(info.batteryLevel() < 99) Device.getBattery().drainAllCharge()
}

I got 99 problems and they are all bugs in my code. Then I apply a patch, and I have 112 problems. #devLife

So after my hosting my first project and announcing it on devrant, the users pointed out the many security faults and places where the code can be exploited ( thank you so much ). So I started my research on security ( im 99% self-taught ). The first thing I landed across is the code vulnerabilities which the I can fix then the vulnerabilities of the language itself and then binary code to overrun whatever the language it is. Well, the topic gets broader and broader. If I click on a link named xxx vulnerabilities oh god that is a whole new collection of hundeds of wiki like pages. I feel like I'm lost and here I need some real help

Fucking hell. I usually really like firefox but today it was a real pain in the ass to download sth. It wold download 99% and then stop. I couldn't stop the download and the file was obviously not working. I had to switch to edge and both the design and the fast download really appealed to me. Ffs firefox!

import antigravity, random

bugs = 99

while True:
print(bugs, "bugs in the code today,")
print(bugs, "bugs in the code.")
print("Git pull the file,")
print("Fix and compile.")
if random.randint(1, 7) == 7:
bugs += random.randint(1,16)
else:
bugs -= 1
print(bugs, "bugs in the code.\n")

When you are involved in a conflict of interest project and its kept under wraps ...but your IT director still wants you to do it because his friend needs something done but don't want to pay for it

Who else has faced this? Or am I the only one...?

That sweet feeling when the project is over and you can finally close all the 99+ tabs on the browser.
Feeling so happy right now! :)

I got 99 problems, but a build ain't one

Ok, I know this has been said a thousand times before, but fuck localization code.

Especially when you have to determine which badly-formatted timestamp is chronologically first.

BLEARGGHHH

Why is choosing a name for a new dev project so difficult? It seems 99% of names I think of have already been taken! Any suggestions?

So on a PowerBuilder app I worked on last year (I know right...), suddenly the business users were reporting that they couldn't edit some of their prices! When they clicked save, the screen would refresh and lose their work.

We had recently upgraded the system to allow them to enter hundreds of prices at a time, much more than there had ever been. But that code wasn't anywhere near this part!

Tracking this down was really fun... By great fortune, I discovered the row the users were editing was the 99th row in the DataWindow. As it turned out, in the distant past (this is PowerBuilder, after all) the returns code "99" had been used as a flag to mean "cancel/refresh the screen".

I of course offered to "fix it right", but the powers that be wanted it fixed cheaply, so we just changed the flag to "9999". 😬

Just saw a job ad asking 8+ years of Swift experience.

Swift is a language that appeared 4 years ago >:-(

In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...

In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?

Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge

Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...

DAMN YOU LECTURER!

Why do 99% of presenters in conferences have a mac laptop?

Sometimes I think "I should write a meaningful error message for this exception" and then i remember how useless 99% of the error messages of every compiler / interpreter I've ever had to use and decide "msg ='something went wrong'" is good enough.

Delivered a website to a client, pagespeed results 99 on both mobile and desktop (just 1 minus point for implementing Google analytics- since it has a too low caching time). Client insists on having a 100 pagespeed result even it doesn't change real pagespeed ... -.-

So I thought... Hey, why not bring my laptop running Ubuntu to school. It's faster than my Windows one, and I use it all the time at home.

Then I realized 99% of students will nag me about how I'm using a knock off version of Mac Os 😒

But if I did bring it, maybe I could FINALLY teach my computer science "teacher" something.

Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML

I hate when Apple news websites do articles on Android. 99% of the time it's pure bullshit coming from someone whose last experience with Android was Gingerbread, if any. 9to5mac is a really bad offender, but so feel TheVerge is extra shitty with Android articles. For someone who claims to do news on everything impartially, they warp their sights towards Apple way too much.

That obviously means that costumers will get scared of leaving Apple for what might be a better experience for their use case. I just absolutely hate this kind of partial journalism.

TL;DR fuck 9to5mac and The Verge for scaring people off using Android with misinformation

So I traveled for an hour and 30 minutes to go to my school and complete an assignment that is mandatory for being accepted to my study next year. Guess what.. the assignment was writing a python script that prints specific characters of a set string based on user input. Seriously??? print(str[inp1:inp2]) I was done within a minute and got to leave again. 99% of my time was spent sitting in a train wondering what the point of a mandatory assignment in python is when we are only supposed to learn it once the study starts anyway.

I think that would be config tool for F1 Challenge ‘99-‘02 game which was called VMT Engine. It introduced me to modding community, the VMT Engine project taught me A LOT about software development.
The origin of this tool was I posted on F1 2014 VMT development forum thread “Hey! Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a tool that let you change tires type?”, so the VMT leader said “Why don’t you do it?”...So I did it 😐

I’m actually still updating the source code to this day

Never be a perfectionist. I am one and it kills me inside. 99% of the time I am not happy with what I did because I know I can do better. Especially on exams. Not because of the grade but because I am not on par with what I know I can do. Its pissing me of so fucking much. Fucking bullshit. Why do I suck so fuckibg much ffs. For real: you should never become a perfectionist because I see what it does to me

I have been at my job for four months. I do 99% of the research on a problem or a fix - another employee recognizes the remaining 1 % and looks like a champ.

Person: "Can you speed up my computer? Don't delete anything though."
Me: "Your hard drive is at 99%... you need to get rid of some stuff."
Person: "Can't you do it with out deleting anything?"
Me: "We can move it to a cloud service..."
Person :"No, that won't work. How will get my stuff back?"
Me: "Nvm..."

Now I didn't do this myself, but I've heard from a senior developer that you can modify C's if statement to require an ADDITIONAL 99% chance, making the code fail 1% of the time with no explanation.

I got 99 problems but an Exception isn't one of them!

99% disk usage? Ah, Windows is updating. Guess I'll just go ahead and get nothing done then. Oh, devRant!

It only takes one bad thing.. out of the 99 good things you've done.

Just got to experience this classic (again):

99 little bugs in the code, take one down, patch it around, 127 little bugs in the code...

.rich-people {
top: 1%;
}

.lower-class {
bottom: 99%;
}

Over heard while watching a tutorial

"The secret key is really secret"

there are two types of people...

if(condition){
//code
}

and

if(condition)
{
//code
}

I'm gonna say, to get the last few games keeping me on Windows running in wine.
Not really a Dev goal, but neither is getting a girlfriend, dear 99% of devranters 🤔
Also, get a KDE Slimbook, Librem Phone and Mycroft AI Mk 2 😁

As for Dev goals...
Finish the game I'm working on and sell it on steam
And to finish my studies (it security) and graduate

(Goal for wk300... After graduating get a job at Bohemia interactive 😜)

Seriously?
Official dotTech site: Rs. 3200
BigRock: Rs. 99
GoDaddy: Rs. 499

I want to migrate my domain away from Big Rock not buy a new one there 🙄

What happens when you give a database design to your boss as per what he wants done, he sees it is not impressed, scolds you, curses you out and claims you are 'fraud'. Then you tell him you can do better to redeem yourself...you submit the work better than the first time

And then he terminates you due to 'lack of proficiency'.

What the fuck is going on with atom in my desktop?!!?!?
Everytime I open it it starts comparing every single file on my pc with my github. It starts using 99% of my memory and fuck is it frustrating. I decided to just learn vim, which is cool, although I still miss managing windows with the mouse, and probably will try VS sometime in the future. I really wanted to like atom but I can't stand how slow it is compared to vim right now, even when the github shit doesn't happen.

99 little bugs in my script. 99 little bugs. Spend a whole night, fix one with might, 113 MORE bugs in my script.

That time when I was extracting a 50GB archive and it failed at 99% :'(

Hope it was just 10 seconds though...
It was way, waaaaay more...

How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?

Old but eternal!

99 bugs in my code
99 bugs in my code
Apply one fix, compile it quick
101 bugs in my code

If you're having merge problems I feel bad for you son, you've got 99 problems but my branch ain't one!

iot+Android+Azure+mySQL+GoogleAPI+TwitterAPI

Oh, Only 1 bug. exterminate.

99 bugs.
Inserted 100 rows of wrong data into tables in a Loop.
RaspberryPi Burnt due to electrical feedback from the sensors.
Android phone froze.

Wow. I still have my sensors fine though.

So I live in the middle of nowhere and therefore I have a very limited choice of different ISPs. The short version of the choices is a fast but very limited in data size or one that works 99% of the time (I'll talk about the 1% later) but doesn't have limits on downloads. So I obviously chose the second one.
It works pretty great most of the time and I don't have any problems usually... The problem with "usually" is that the 1% of the time it doesn't work is all it needs to frustrate me. I could be downloading a massive file and around 70% the Internet decides to disconnect. It wouldn't really be a big deal if it wouldn't cause the file to get corrupted.
My point is that if you're going to share a big file, don't upload it to mega, mediafire, dropbox or anything like that. Just use torrents. They work way better for big files.

CPU usage 99%; Plunker.

Stress ball level 99....

So what do you call people who like Apple devices only or Android devices only? Or someone who thinks Apple devices are superior only or Android devices are superior only ?

Devicist ???

99 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs in the code
Fix 1 bug
100 little bugs in the code

any ios devs here?

i'm a fifteen year old dev collaborating with a friend and we made an app - in flutter. android we are planning on publishing, but on ios we can't afford to pay the $99 to publish. we can't even compile it on a hackintosh. if anyone is willing to compile our app and give us an ipa (or publish it), we would really appreciate it!!!

What the hell is going on Microsoft?!?!?
1)Fucking Windows Updates Out of Control
2)We've become Microsoft's testers
And finally, the thing that really frustrated me today:
Yesterday VS was working fine. Today:
99% CPU Usage In Idle
IDE hangs on every 3 symbols(hanged twice while writing 'string')

Pycharm why you no allow me to continue to use the professional edition...

Damnn and they way pycharm has served me well

Instead of ranting I thought it would be nicer to ask for opinions/solutions: How to cope with a collegue that keeps producing trainwrecks of code which you have to first refactor to make it work in a more logical/structured way? Yes, his initial solution works (in a way), but it's just not how 99% of the other developers would solve it. And yes, we've shown him quite a few times how it should/could be (in a positive and constructing manner)

I know there is SoundCloud, Earbits for music... Sometimes I use YouTube.

I am coding to get to my beast mode but my YouTube mix picks up a song I don't want and then I change tabs just to skip or change your mix...then poooofff

ALL OVA SURRRDDDDEN

You are watching "scaring cats videos"

It looks like Windows almost stopped me from exiting the mall. I had to call customer care to save me from situation. The toll station froze on me. Why Windows? Why?