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!rant
Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?
Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.
Customer: That's an interesting analogy.
Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...6 -
So someone is constantly ddos'ing the privacy/security blog.
Just wondering if they really think that 500 hits a second will bring the site down?!
500 h/s consumes about 0.1 percent CPU and 1mb/s.
At least give me a challenge 😥53 -
"could I get admin privileges to reboot this server?"
Sounds valid enough, right?
OH YEAH SURE, YOU'RE A TINY USER ON A HUGE ASS SHARED SERVER, OF COURSE I'LL GIVE YOU ROOT ACCESS TO REBOOT THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER.
Worst part, he didn't understand why that would be weird.
Can I buy a little common sense somewhere for this guy?28 -
FINALLY
GODDAMNED
FIXED
I'VE SPENT OVER A GODDAMN WEEK SWIMMING THROUGH DEMON EXCREMENT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS TRYING TO FIND THE SOURCE OF THIS SHIT.
I FINALLY FOUND IT. IN A FUCKING. CONDITIONAL. OVERLOAD. OF A MODEL GETTER.
THAT ABSOLUTE NONSENSE RETURNS EITHER THE REQUESTED COLUMN FROM THE DATABASE, OR AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT COLUMN, ALL DEPENDING ON THE VALUE OF A THIRD FUCKING COLUMN.
HKJSDFASKFJ
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE.
THE VALUE IT RETURNS. IS COMPLETELY WRONG. FOR ALMOST. EVERY. FUCKING. CASE.
BECAUSE THAT FIRST COLUMN? IT NEVER GETS UPDATED. EVER.
AND THIS DEALS WITH ACCOUNTING AND REAL GODDAMN MONEY.
AARRGHHHHH
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!28 -
"Sticky Notes have been updated. Restart now or later?"
Really Windows, really?
Sticky notes update requires restart..16 -
Me: we only got 40 minutes notice that we had to stay in late for a meeting with the USA team. Can we politely ask them to give us like a days notice in future? I can’t just stay late at any time, neither can the guys with kids to collect.
Manager: oh ok. I’m very sorry this has affected you. Here, let me explain why this is going to keep happening and you’ll need to deal with it.16 -
So I've been pulling my hair out as for WHY ON FUCKING EARTH MY CHANGES DON'T SHOW WHEN I RUN THE RSS FEED GENERATOR.
Oh right maybe I should upload the file first 😅🔫9 -
I really, really hate it when someone has a problem/question, and I really dedicate my heart and soul to write a really good answer that even a stupid person would understand - with drawing, explanations and shit. And they answer is just:
"Thanks"
"Ok"
"I dont get it"
"Can you please do it"
"you spelled that wrong"10 -
Back in my teenage , a friend of mine asked me «Can you make me a software that guesses the result of a football match ?» I said «Sure, but you have to tell me how to calculate the chances of a team»
«Yeah, use the previous performances in the league»
«Ok, but you have to tell me how to calculate the expected result using previous performances» He laughed at me and said «If i knew how to calculate chances of winning/losing, i would not need a software!»
I tried to explain it simply «Computers can execute basic operations like sums or subtractions, and they know how to follow a list of basic instructions to give you a result»
He looked me like «If computers are so stupid like you are telling me now, are we all crazy idiots trying to learn how to use stupid machines??» and stated that i obviously misunderstood the real power of a computer. I walked back home thinking how funny was my friend believing in some kind of magic inside box called pc.
Few years later, i start studying IT at university. In the free time i look for small jobs like website development, small office network setup, pcs repair.
I continue noticing people believing that pcs knows what to do and how to do it.
«You sure I lost my data ? No i didn't do a backup. You sure my pc didn't do a backup ? No i hadn't a backup software»
«Why antivirus asks me what to do with the viruses it found. It should delete them obviously! Change my antivirus, it's too stupid for my pc»
«I want more people finding my business thanks to my website. How I imagine my website ? Yeah it has to be cool and full of cool stuff»
All that boring stories leads to my final question :
is our job dealing with persons who think we are some kind of wizard, well learned about dominating the pc magic ?
Please answer no.Please.14 -
We've started a new betting system in our office. Every time you lose a bet, you have to optimize atleast one project for Internet Explorer 😂7
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So, I was out cruising in my sports car the other day. Porsche, two seater, about 400 hp.
When I stopped at a red light I was next to a man driving his family of four in his Volkswagen. I revved my car to show my power, but he seemed unfazed by my superior engine. When the light became green I floored it, he didn't have a chance of catching up, I just left him behind and laughed. He's so stupid for driving that slow car.
I can't understand why anyone would ever want to drive a Volkswagen when they are just so obviously slow?
👆This is how you sound like when you compare languages only based on how fast they are.10 -
Just looked at the anonymous analytics I collect on the security/privacy blog.
No SQL Injection attacks yet (would be useless anyways as I don't use MySQL/MariaDB for the databasing.
Directory Traversal attacks. Really? 🤣
Nice try, guys.39 -
Boss: Can I pick your brains about something for 5 mins?
Me: Sure
-Call started-
(2hr 49min later...)
Boss: So you're still on track to finish that project by lunch today?
...
-Call ends-3 -
My psychiatrist has recently taken me off paroxotine which i was taking for anxiety. As a result, I'm wide awake unable to sleep cos my head is running at a million miles an hour. You know what I keep thinking?
1.) Sweet hairy balls of Mary Theresa I'm getting married in 3 months.
2.) Installing Arch sounds like fun. I wonder if I can do Unity3D and C# dev on it.
3.) @Gitpush, @Alice, @Linuxxx, @Bluenutterfly, @ThatDude, @AlexDeLarge Love your rants, keep up the good work!14 -
Maaaaaaaa man has been programming in Swift since 1997; assuming the description was written this year.
To put that into perspective, that's two years after the founding of both Java and JS.
I'm sure he's programming with his mind right now while we mere mortals are waiting for it to be standard by 2120 😭
Finally recruiters can hire someone with 20 years of Swift experience. This position has been void for awhile now... Catch up guys!
Hats off to you man!!!!
14 -
Worst data loss? Probably back when I was working at gitlab and accidentally dropped a production database....3
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So... I was watching this ad of this University offering a software course... Can you notice something weird about the code? Hahaha
The subtitles say: "I'm a Programmer"
5 -
I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.
I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.
I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.
But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.
I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.
And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.
So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.
At least her frustration wasn't at us.6 -
Whenever I Google Ajax it gives me search results related to the Amsterdam soccer team called ajax. I mean really Google, I search for webdev related stuff all day and you give me this...7
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Oh yeah, the app does nothing and yet it's still 14mb in size. Like bruh, 'The app does nothing', nothing as in mine bitcoins? 🤔
Also, 1M downloads? Screw good app ideas and make this instead.
5 -
No Wi-Fi = No Food.. Great motivation to pay your internet bill on time... This 'smart' shit is going way too far lol..
15 -
Okay so this is just a rant about my personal life because if I post it any where else no one will really care.
So I graduated from a vocational high school where I learned about basic IT and networking skills but I mostly focused on my programming. and I LOVED that school honestly the environment was so amazing and everyone and everything about it was amazing. then I started college recently hoping for the same thing and its just depressing me, and my depression is coming back and I cant stop it because I cant distract myself from it. My friends are always off playing Monster Hunter Ultimate and Im just wishing theyd hop back on Warframe so we can play again.. They say they will but they really wont so im usually just playing alone or going online which is sometimes fun if you have people that talk back.
so i took myself to the official warframe discord to find people that would help but everytime I ask I just get ignored. So Im stuck playing alone.
while thats happening Im not really getting any messages from anyone besides my girlfriend which is nice but she isnt able to really keep up a conversation and shes often busy with school as well. when I try to talk to any of my friends they arent really interested to talk or just send short replies that obviously tell me to go away. one friend in particular she and I used to talk everyday not even in a romantic way just straight up besties for life, but after one of my relationships ended she basically took her side and never talks to me now. Ive just been really lonely and wanting to just have my friends talk to me again or just have some programming friends I can chill in a discord server while we code but I cant bring myself to ask anyone on the specific server im in for programming..
Honestly idk if anyone on devrant really looks at my posts and thinks "oh look Bubbles posted again". I feel like im not good enough to be here because Im not nearly as good as all of you, Im mostly just here asking questions or posting extremely fucking long posts no one wants to read. and yet this is still where most of my interactions are and I love that this devRant community makes me laugh or feel better about myself sometimes. and I thank all of you for that and I remember your @ 's all the time.
honestly the only real highlight of my week was when my teacher of my vocational class asked me to come back as an unpaid intern to help teach his new programming class and It made me happy but other than that I havent been too happy.
if anyone actually got through this holy shit youre awesome and thank you a lot its appreciated.21 -
The worst part about being totally in the zone: looking up after a hour or five and realizing you really really really really need to pee. And knowing that as soon as you get up it’s all over. 😭7
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You left me a tiny hole to look through, I can’t even PUT FUCKING AWAY that garbage and you expect me to trust you on design! Fuck you!
3 -
I love my notebook but still...
Fuck you to the person at Lenovo who thought that it would be a great idea to support 16gb of ram and then put 4gb internal ram into it.
I can add an 8gb stick to it, totalling at 12gb. There are no 12gb sticks (as far I am aware of) so yeah, fuck 16gb "supported" by the mainboard, 12 is the maximum.5 -
Memo on August 4th: Staff, we're moving to the new building. IT, make sure the building is ready by September 15th.
IT: But the entire networking, surveillance, fire suppression (yes, we do that too) and power management systems have to be installed/redone.
Management: What's so hard about that? Just get it done.
Memo about a week ago: Timeline for move shifted to September 9th
IT: Sir, this request is unreasonable especially since you still want us to go through the usual procurement process of hiring vendors to deal with stuff.
Management: So you mean to tell me you can't handle that in the next couple weeks?
IT: We're a large organisation with ~300 employees. The data centre in the new building isn't even usable yet.
Management: I don't care. Make sure everything is placed and operational by the 5th. Stop making a mountain out of a mole hill!4 -
That's it, I'm done. My sincere condolences go to the poor soul that will have to maintain this complete and utter crap of code, as I have been doing the past 2 weeks.
3-4 big 4K+ lines files of completely unindented, practically undocumented, interspersed HTML, PHP, JavaScript and CSS! All in the same file.
All the function and variable names are complete nonsense. You might as well have smashed your head against the keyboard and let whatever came out be the names.
You took all the naming conventions that you could find and unleashed your seriously damaged imagination. lowerCamelCase, UpperCamelCase, snakecase, everything in the same fucking function name.
I really needed the money from this project. But I'm done. My mental sanity is more important that try to figure out how to make a decent and usable webpage of THIS COMPLETE DISASTER.
You, the one before me. If you wanted to make sure that no one else besides you could work with this crap, then congrats, YOU FUCKING DID IT WITH HONORS. FUCKING SUMMA CUM LAUDE. PhD and all.4 -
I really hate designers who get worked up over a few pixels difference between their mockup and the end result.
I really, really, really, really, thoroughly despise designers who get worked up over a few pixels when they keep changing the mockup without notifying me, when we're already *weeks* past our intended launch date.
Shove those pixels up your ass, you fucking fuck7 -
Black is the new dark.
There. I had to vent that off. It sounds so catchy.
On other news I got my stickers!!! Wohooo!
4 -
I found an old project on which I hadn't version controlled, so I decided to manually commit progress on a past date. Only problem GitHub calendar wouldn't show it.
I emailed them and because it was private repo I added them as contributor. Then I got this reply.
15 -
Dear Windows users: instead of upgrade to Windows 10, why don't you downgrade to Dos? It appears to have less issues.7
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After eating nothing but fresh food/ingredients for the past year, I ordered a carne asada burrito from Cafe Rio. I remember liking them, and it tastes just like I remember, but I'm amazed at how little flavor it has by comparison. It's maybe a third as flavorful as my salads? A quarter? ☹
Eating well really spoils you.7 -
I wish the apple review team shove them white polished apples up their fucking asses
A problem solved over a month ago... Ipv6 works it's tested.
Now you come back with a very specific old iPad on a very specific os and say it doesn't work !?
The topping on this shit (apple) pie? They sent me a screenshot of the issue.
It's a screenshot of the fucking login page. I know what the fucking thing looks like you assholes.
Absolute tossers2 -
Last week our department drama queen was showing off Visual Studio’s ability to create a visual code map.
He focused on one “ball of mud”, vilifying the number of references, naming, etc and bragging he’s been cleaning up the code. Typical “Oooohhh…this code is such a mess…good thing I’m fixing it all..” nonsense. Drama queen forgot I wrote that ‘ball of mud’
Me: “So, what exactly are you changing?”
DK: “Everything. It’s a mess”
Me: “OK, are any of the references changing? What exactly is the improvement?”
DK: “There are methods that accept Lists. They should take IEnumerables.”
Me: “How is that an improvement?”
<in a somewhat condescending tone>
DK: “Uh…testability. Took me almost two weeks to make all the changes. It was a lot of work, but now the code is at least readable now.”
Me: “Did you write any tests?”
DK: “Um…no…I have no idea what uses these projects.”
Me: “Yes you do, you showed me map.”
DK: “Yes, but I don’t know how they are being used. All the map shows are the dependencies.”
Me: “Do you know where the changes are being deployed?”
DK: “I suppose the support team knows. Not really our problem.”
Me: “You’re kinda right. It’s not anyone’s problem.”
DK: “Wha…huh…what do you mean?”
Me: “That code has been depreciated ever since the business process changed over 4 years ago.”
DK: “Nooo…are you sure? The references were everywhere.”
Me: “Not according to your map. Looks like just one solution. It can be deleted, let me do that real quick”
<I delete the solution+code from source control>
Me: “Man, sorry you wasted all that time.”
I could tell he was kinda’ pissed and I wasn’t really sorry. :)2 -
My gf (she is a dev too) gets mad at me, cause i ask for her help and it usually ends up as plain rubberducking...
Not my fault!10 -
Getting a rejection letter six months after starting a job when you haven’t applied to jobs since you got said job is weird. Like, what’s the point in even sending a rejection 8 months after a person applied?
Either:
a) they’ve already assumed you weren’t interested and have moved on with their life or
b) they were really REALLY interested in the possibility of working for your company and have been eagerly awaiting reply… only to be given the terse rejection email 8 months later.
And in neither of those scenarios is that person going to have a higher opinion of the company because you took the time to respond eventually.
I just… I don’t get it, mates.7 -
kinda coding i guess, company specialising in making statistics for other companies, analytic stuff or such, wanted stack: php, mysql
Interviewer: so here is our tech guy, who will be your boss if... so he would like to ask a few questions
techGuy: how would you ask for all the rows in a table? * looks at me *
Interviewer: * looks at me too *
me (learning inner, outer, left, right joins and transactions yesterday): * am i a joke to you? *
also me: * they must be making fun of me or something * well the query should be SELECT * FROM tableName; but one should really not use that, as * in theory really slows things down, because it loads unnecessary meta data bla bla
they: * look at each other * You're really good young man! Yes of course we know that, haha!
Interviewer: You said you just finished Uni, you doesn't seem like a junior to me! good job!
techGuy: so how would you LIMIT your results to 100 rows?
me: sigh * looks at door without turning head, so they wont notice *4 -
>Download a mod from Nexusmods
>2,1GB
>200kbps connection
>gets to 90% after 3 hours
>fails with http 416 error
>???
>Check file integrity
>Fails horrendously.
>fml.3 -
So I never had a proper education in IT. Started web development as a hobby, then some people started giving me money for it, and here I am, working as a fulltime web dev since 2001 and SEO expert since 2010.
Still, I sometimes wonder how much I really know compared to some fresh coder who just got out of university.
I know how to create great software from A to Z, but still I sometimes get the feeling that I am missing the fundamental basics.
Is that weird?3 -
That awkward moment when you can't figure out the shortest solution in the Google Code For Kids doodle thingy.
4 -
Friday, 3pm, job interview.
Friday, 8pm, mail from the company owner:
'we liked your profile very much, so we'll make you an offer on Monday'.
No signs of life since then. I guess you didn't like my profile THAT much... 😅8 -
!rant && thanksgivings.
Sure we troll here. Sure we preach strangers here. Sure we hug unconditionally here. But everything is all cool.
I haven't been here very long but I found this community very good to communicate. In fact, we are talking more than dev related things. But I literally don't see any conflict or well.. shit posts/comments.
Really thankful for that. To everyone.1 -
Any non tech people think you're crazy when you talk about time in decimals?
I said 1.75 years, I nearly got sectioned. Lol1 -
Sure you know this one:
* Mobile project with realtime notifications
* CEO asks for push implemented with own sockets instead of using firebase or gcm
* Spends loads of time of money and time
* Asks to dev why It costs so much
* Blames the dev for socket implementatiom2 -
I just realized I haven't been using MacOS on my iMac for more than 4 months
I guess I won't buy new Apple stuff in the future😅
Awesome machine but I just like Windows more9 -
So this happened:
Client: “I just checked the page and the background video isn’t playing anymore. There’s just a play button in the middle”
Me: “It’s doing that because you are on low battery mode on your iPhone. Take it off”.
😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐1 -
I don't know how i should feel about this....
Honestly only reason i am on FB is bcd i need to use Messenger....
13 -
Surprinsingly Linux (Elementary OS 0.4) handles Intel HD Graphics 3000 better than Windows 10. Games runs actually better on Elementary, than on Windows on my laptop!11
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Cousin: So what are you learning at school?
Me: Programming, PC Networks, Hardware and so on.
Cousin: Oh really? I just have to make presentation to school. I will send it to your account thanks I appreciate it... 🤔6 -
Sorry mate 😉 can't get away with saying you use Dreamweaver and not expect some evil banter 😈 I mean it's nearly as bad as saying java is javascript
15 -
Open source amazes me all the time.
My eyes water with the amazement of what people are willing to accomplish and then share! Sharing really is caring.2 -
When my boss acknowledged my effort in creating an in house scripting language. Makes me feel really really proud! 😁9
-
Oh shit, a 16 yo guy come with a MacBook Air to repair.
“My mom hide the Mac in the oven. And my dad to preheat the oven...”
Really?? Yep, all keyboard keys jumped but he boots normally after disconnect/reconnect internal battery.15 -
I'm an advocate of free software, debian specifically, hell my business runs on it!
But sometimes you just can't get around to use proprietry software. One of those is nvidia....
WHAT THE FUCKING MESSED UP NAGGING NARK SHIT NVIDIA!!! YOU FUCKING BREAK MY SYSTEM! YOU WONT PROPERLY COMPILE YOUR KERNEL MODULE, YOU BREAK MY X, AND ONCE I FIXED ALL THOSE THINGS MANUALLY(!) YOU HAVE THE FUCKING GUTS TO NOT EVEN DETECT MY SCREENS PROPERLY
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT!!! NVIDIA YOU SUCK!!! MOTHERFUCKER DO I REALLY HAVE TO FALL BACK TO INTEL GRAPHICS??? FUCK YOUR FUCKING COMPANY AND ESPECIALLY YOUR LINUX SUPPORT
And no i am not planning to use ATI since they dont support EGL, what is a dependency for the gnome desktop...6 -
Today I got a email from a person using comic sans as a email signature. And he works at a Big company!!! WHO uses that as a signature?4
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My boss just gave me a task that Stack Overflow tells me is impossible. He's a senior architect.
-__-6 -
Our CEO had a virtual town hall using Zoom and now have a sign language interpreter box as a regular feature... To go along with all the Inclusion stuff...
The most immediate problem though is they didn't turn on auto-captions...
I don't know sign but am deaf so needed the captions which it turns out you can get using the Google Recorder app on Pixels. (This is literally like a fuck you to non-Pixel users and Zoom which disables Live Captions in conferences and recording full transcripts).
Anyway I left it own and near the end, a speaker was like "we're getting a lot of likes and positive feedback about the interpreter box! See how small changes make such a big difference?!"
And well of course in my mind I'm going "uh.... No."
I'll just go back to not caring about anything that isn't related to how much I make.2 -
Hur dur, java is so bad that I'm gonna rant about it on a social network backed by a java database...1
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That moment when you teaching your coworkers about vba:
Me: and you close the formula with a curly bracket
Co-worker: Wow that's easy, and you say coding is hard
Me: you're right, here try to learn Java2 -
Unfortunately, I was causing the bad experience of the group project.
Had a 3D modelling class at university. I was totally overwhelmed and had no time to do anything for the project. I was too scared to face my team so I decided to just break the contact and didn't show up to the presentation.
I thought I would get a bad grade and that I will have to take the class the next year again.
But the worst part is, I got a better grade than the rest of the team because someone did the part, I was responsible for, so well.
I felt so bad for my behaviour, I cut my hair and shaved and hoped they won't recognize me at the university.
I'm sure there are or will be some rants about me this week -.-'3 -
!rant
Reddit comment on a thread about Joomla! sites being vulnerable to SQL-injections:
"Joomla sites are so infested they became sentient.
Joomla sites needs no webmaster, some one else will administer it for you.
Joomla sites have very good SEO, specially in "v1agra c1alis p3nis size"
Traffic count with Joomla is high, all the bots breaking all the vulnerabilities count for somethin'."
😂 Pure gold.1 -
Recruiter starts his mail with a question. "Are you really harcore?"
And I think to myself...
"No. I'm really exhausted."3 -
Monitored at work via Skype for business because a colleague deems conversations around ordering food for lunch is 'Personal and inappropriate use'.
Pathetic.
Seriously?8 -
I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti
-
Interviewed a guy yesterday and asked what languages he knows...
"I'm really, really good at HTML"8 -
Http/2 server push is really cool. Like, really fucking cool. Those researchers at google really got this right. I hate how they handle their users but I have to say they really make good use of the money they get by selling us for kettle.2
-
You should really really really not use sha 1 or worse anymore. I mean, for real now. Please, stop it. https://shattered.it3
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Boss: we need to standardize the CMS we use.
Me: well 90% of what we build are custom Wordpress deployments...
Boss: yeah but Wordpress is best suited for all our clients.
Me: well yeah, I know...we could use Django or Rails and give the clients more customized solutions...
Boss: yeah but not all of our developers know those frameworks, and they require maintenance...
Me: -_- we could really use Jekyll for most sites we build
Boss: yeah, but what about our clients that want a blog?
Me: ...we can build a blog with anything...
Boss: ...we just need to standardize what we use. -
took me 20min to realize why windows wasn't recognising my flash drive:
it wasn't the usb stick I plugged in but the mouse's dongle... stupid me😜 -
A funny story I just remember while my code is compiling :
Back in high school, in Math, we were taught how algorithm works, and we made some exercises with practical examples.
I didn't know anything about it back then, so was curious. Was pretty fun, but one day, my teacher said that a IF is a loop. I said "no, this is a test" but she keeps saying that it was a loop, ignoring me (I dunno if she actually heard me) and no one actually noticed it as she repeated it several times (while I was saying that it's not). I just gave up trying to say it's wrong.8 -
I got really depressed today for many many self-inflicted reasons so i'd like to propose we change Rule 2 of Technology to "You will fuck up, and when you do, you will fuck up REALLY REALLY HARD."1
-
Am I the only one who thinks it's faster to enter in chrome://settings rather than reaching out for the mouse and searching for the Settings button when looking to change some settings?8
-
“Free? Must be trash.”
“Pay for it? Psss yeah right. I’m sure there’s a free version.”
“Wait... really really expensive and a really really long line and a chance I won’t even be allowed to buy it? I’m am so there.”
- everyone but me?8 -
what are the odds of walking with a cup of coffe and a drop falls off right into your pocket of your cowboy jeans and wets a bunch of the money you have in your wallet..1
-
I have noticed that C/C++ developers that deal with backend server technologies are very much likely to resort to PHP for some reason. I have noticed it from serveral developer friends of mine or simply by noticing how the topic comes along sometimes on web discussion forums.
I believe this is the reason why certain extension codebases that deal with php are(for the most part) exclusively done in C++, take Phalcon, written as an extension in C or PHP Swoole, which is written in cpp iirc.
I wonder what attributes does the language, or the tech stack as a whole has that would make this particular kind of developers feel attracted to the platform. Is it that is easy and widely available and they just say "fuck it, I don't wanna spend too much time in this shit" <--- which is a very valid point really.
Or them just having an innate preference towards it?
The Psychology Behind Developers: By Dr AleCx0417 -
It is really really really hard to do anything, including development or studying, when you're worrying about losing your teeth.
You can't imagine the anxiety.11 -
Me :" bro let's create an operating system named "MyOS"
Him : "ew......"
Me : "What?"
Him : " Why would I create an operating system named "Your Old Ass"?"1 -
how do you devs deal with computer/screen headaches?
I’m a CS student, and last year at my software internship i had a pounding headache literally every day at work (worked 40 hours a week). I started drinking like 6 bottles of water a day and popping advil like candy, but i want to avoid them this summer.
any of you l33t vet devs have any secret tricks for these?
thx thx10 -
I just finished up figuring out this long ass riddle. Perhaps, y'all would be interested in taking a nab at it.
https://challenge.hiringsolved.com/...15 -
A friend of mine and I are about to open a company and we're hiring a developer to develop websites, no specific needs, it literally just have to work.
We found this guy, who develops goodlooking websites, but isn't really a developer, meaning that he just uses visual composers. (which doesn't differ too much from what we want).
Well this guy kinda loves us because we're actual developers who know how to code "properly".
It's the first time someone likes me just bc I'm a developer and I'm already superhappy!
Hope it will get good soon enough! -
I really have to clean the house...
On the other hand... I really have to finish my native script app...2 -
There are so many interesting and great things to learn in IT, but I have the feeling, none of these is taught at my university 😪4
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Here's a nightmarish tale that happened to me not long ago:
One of our stores was moving, so they asked me for help with the systems. Thinking it'd be fun, I said yes, and went. All I had to do was unplug everything and reorder it at the new location, sounds really easy right?
They hadn't cleaned the computer area in ten years.
Each time something broke, they replaced it...and left the old cables there. But that was nothing compared to just a little later, when I tackled the network situation.
For two stations, they had:
2 routers. 5 switches. A wi-fi adapter, even though the routers had that capability, an adsl modem backup and a...56k modem. ALL plugged. ALL linked.
Turns out they switched providers, and they didn't bother removing the old equipment. They just linked everything together.
Man, what a night it was -_-1 -
I really got in love with nodejs and shit. And to be honest, the whole async thing isn't that shitty either. I mean the performance itself seems to be whack af (see onoff benchmarks for reference) but your whole project is more responsive.
BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE THE ASYNC WRITE DOWN OF A SETTINGS FILE FOLLOWED BY SOME STUPID CRASH INDUCING MISTAKE I MADE MYSELF, LEADING TO THE WRITE FUCK UP AND ESSENTIALLY ERASE THE FUCKING CONTENTS OF THE DAMN SETTINGS FILE IS JUST LIKE SMEARING TOOTHPASTE ALL OVER MY FRIGGIN BALLSACK! -
!rant: I finally quit development! It's been awful! Really!
Got a CIO position instead, and I really like it!9 -
I just had to explain a (Millennial) client how to use the address bar in browsers, so that she can access her fucking "webside"2
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Moodle! I really really really hated it.
At least it had this file for amusement purposes : https://searchcode.com/codesearch/...1 -
Hey, here's an idea. Ethical cryptocurrency mining Adblock.
We've been talking a lot about mining as a revenue source and its ethics here, so that gave me an idea.
I've seen a lot of talk about blocking or boycotting mining websites.
Adblock has the "ethical ads" thing to allow reasonable ads to be displayed.
What if we made the mining equivalent of that: an extension that the user allows to mine with x resources, that prevents websites from doing their own mining, but which redistributes its mining results.
The website could just add a bit of script to tell the extension who they are, and while the page is on the foreground or streaming content, the extension would mine on their behalf.
This could also allow more transparency for the user: "your computer has generated x money for website y".
Wouldn't that be a nice middle ground? Does anyone know of a project like that?7 -
Looking for development work in my country Fiji is really hard. I really don't know what my options are.4
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I don't know why, but lately I'm really into low level stuff, my knowledge yet is really limited. So I got myself this, really looking forward to gain more knowledge in this field..😀
3 -
So my office tends to have seating rearrangements every few months due to the amount of people increasing in the company. In the 1 year that we moved to this office, I have been lucky to not have moved seats drastically.
Today though my team got moved to a new area. The previous area was already pretty small, the new area is even smaller where dual monitors JUST fit on the desk. With more people being hired by the month, there's going to be no more room again. I really wish the company would look at just hiring actual talented staff rather than hiring just to meet demands. Again, it's all about quality, not quantity!! -
I wish I had the ability to survive on as little sleep as the people on here. I cannot function without at least 5 hours of sleep. And yet, I constantly get only around 3.5.
It's not even that I'm doing something interesting so late at night.1 -
My code works.
Well, it should, but not like this.
I've set some datas to a nested form, saved by a variable named 'stat1', however the code won't work unless I use a variable named 'fields'. Not 'stat1'. I'm only 24 years old and I already feel too old for this shit.3 -
How good was you saying that the backup function was? Maybe I should remember saving my work more often ...
2 -
I actually do have something to rant about!
The people I've decided to work with... are complete and utter fools. They don't want to keep updated with new practices and merely talk about awesome stuff... Let me elaborate.
The first person is someone I spent really many hours just writing with, I've helped him build on his personal project, which has now become our project (which I've done most of the work on now). He keeps writing about things that aren't fucking relevant for the current task - furthermore, he completely refuses to use any type of collaboration software in order to keep an eye on tasks we want to, and already have completed. He likes Git but doesn't provide helpful git messages, sometimes even stuff like 'forgot this'.. never any freaking description of what's actually been done! Not even after agreeing it should be done, he just doesn't understand what a helpful message is apparently.
I might be a bit special regarding wanting to follow practices, but how the fuck do you make any amount of money by being so ignorant!? He was a WP 'developer' a while ago, and has since changed to JS and are using a framework which he doesn't understand - he can't even remember what the documentation states.
So why do I 'work' with him? He knows a lot of phrases he's read in books, blogs, and the likes. That makes him really inspirational and positive and he really wants to become successful(like me!). But over the last few months, I've realized how bad he is at programming - he doesn't know basic programming concepts and have a hard time applying any sort of knowledge to his programming. If it's not pre-built, he can't use it, not even if the documentation has specific examples. He barely grasps the concept of binding data to a variable. He wouldn't know how to access it again though, it's just for the sake of binding it to some existing functionality.
The other guy really likes his old style. He hired me to maintain some application. Which has turned out to be a hell of several small tasks he needs to be finished or reworked - with no clear definition of the task. Most of the time, he'll do some initial changes, show the changes to me, vaguely explain what they do (not what he's trying to achieve) and first THEN ask me to do these changes, most often in some files that don't exist (he uses the wrong filenames so I have to guess/ask where the changes need to be made).
To top it all off, old syntax is used and don't get me started on the spaces+tabs for indenting lines... Because I've already added a great ESLint+Prettier conf and everything should be nicely formatted according to pre-defined rules.
But he won't take the time to install some plugins in his editor and I'm left with sometimes buggy, badly formatted code (the code I have to make changes with!) - that's while he several times have agreed that I can do what I want and that he even questions his own ways when looking at my changes which he calls by-the-book.
So why the motherfucking fuck do I keep working with him?
Well, he keeps paying so that's really nice - I haven't been able to properly execute the bigger tasks(which pays more) though, due to a lack of information or some badly written code I couldn't quite figure out how works (at a glance).
He also keeps talking about these new projects he wants to make.. he even has these freaking papers with descriptions and data-structures and we converse really good about these new awesome projects. He also likes cryptocurrencies(which is an interest of mine he has inflamed quite a bit) and lastly, he seems like a genuinely nice guy who I'd like to spend some time with even besides coding and work.
So now I stand here - stuck with people that make me feel like a demi-god or something because I use a git style-guide and ESLint+Prettier with the Airbnb style-guide.
What should I do? I'd really like some remote work and have a desperate need for money... So much so, that I might even have to pick up a fulltime job, in order to save my sorry ass - all because I like speaking with people who just like the thought of programming...
I'm actually quite lonely with my thoughts and they are the two only people I've had some sort of relationship with - who has an invested interest in programming/dev... I really like that, despite having to follow their thoughts as they surely can't follow mine.
Please be my friend or give me some paid work lol.
Also, I've been moving the last couple weeks - those weeks has been the most stressful of my life and have not contributed to my overall wellbeing and relations with people... It's good to be back at the computer again and be reading some devRant though!1 -
All I needed to do was temporarily change a 4 row by 5 column css-based <div> layout to a 2 row by 3 column css-based <div> layout. The layout is now right but links don’t work for no damned apparent reason. I really really really really really suck at my job as a coder and I just need to go live in a cave and never, ever touch a computer again.5
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we destroyed our planet forever, but for a really really short time, we made shareholders really really happy3
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Joomla, motherfucking Joomla. It was supposed to make managing content easy. With just a little coding you could make a fully functional, multi page website. Ugh. It took more time to master the oddities and weirdness of Joomla than it would have to just code the fucker.
This taught me the painful lesson that there are no REAL shortcuts. Useful “shortcuts” in development are just abstractions over mastery of a task. There are many more shortcuts that are more like dangerous hacks, and Joomla is rife with them and opens a lot of opportunities to make more.2 -
i started with Python 2 on Codecademy (way back before it became pay-to-play garbage) and it was... eh... it was okay. Not great, reading a book would've been more informative, but it was better than nothing.
I then made basic RNG wrappers and thought I was hot shit. For, like, 4 years.
Then I found out how to manipulate files, and took off from there. That was the moment I really took to it and i've never stopped since. -
Even I know I'm bullshitting right now. But maybe (like never) I'll optimize this one day (like really really never)
1 -
That moment when the shop you just bought something from send you back a confirmation email with your password in clear... :/3
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I have a colleague who keeps hitting ctrl+S when he's not writing any code. I hit it like twice or thrice myself, but he just keeps at it. Drives me crazy in a fun way. I tried asking him about it, but he just shrugs like it's nothing.10
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Anyone here currently employed as a perl developer? I wanted to know how your experience with the language and the environment has been? I have been going on and off in the perl world for a while know. Currently some interesting perl jobs have been comming up. I have always liked the language but I know that there is a major difference between liking a language for basic scripts and using it in a work environment.
Currently, I have experimented with a few web projects using Perl and I am really digging what I see, the code can be as hacky as you want it to be or as elegant and readable as you make it, such freedom and flexibility is great. -
I always refuse to read the entire documentation carefully then 2 hours later regret skimming through it coz as expected, i miss the fucking obvious and end up wasting my time. You'd think by now i would learn. It must be madness really.2
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Ok so my thoughts on M$ officially buying github:
Honestly idk, it’s really up to them. I hope they think it really independent because otherwise they could abuse of the power they have over devs. So no added bonuses or free Azure if you develop for uwp or that kind of shit.
But it could also help GH get even better and include more the devs and all that stuff.
Lately, M$ has been becoming a little less evil and maybe they have a little of good will. What I think we need is a motto and clear guidelines for the development of gh. A community focused openness about development.
Anyway, I’m super tired and I should be sleeping, but I’m a dev and I don’t care. -
I'm so happy it only took 2 months to fully dominate this outdated-in-few-months-js-library-or-framework.js1
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Posted in DevOps discussion board (teams channel):
“Program x isn’t behaving the same way that it does on production. Can you please take a look?”
..a little background: we have a deployment scheduled for today and this issue was found during regression testing.
The issue found is that when a file is clicked on it disappears from the screen, and then isn’t opened…
The file is not on prem, and doesn’t get uploaded to a server that our DevOps team owns…
So why on earth would this development team be asking DevOps to look into a bug that is most likely a code related issue? 😆
Is this a common occurrence for anyone else?
A Bug is found, and the first thought is that the code isn’t the issue?11 -
So the university computer science lab computers run Oracle Solaris 11.........and we not allowed to use an ide to write out Python scripts ,gonna use nano1
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qt compilation 2: electric boogaloo.
$ ./configure [dozens of options]
< building qmake, blah blah, success blah blah, run make && make install, blah blah >
$ make -j 8
< works for 5 minutes, then hits an error without telling me what the error is >
$ make -j 8
< works for 5 minutes until the same error. this time i notice it rm's a directory right before using it >
$ make # multithreaded fuckery, perhaps?
< fails after 5 seconds with different error >
$ make -j 2
< same >
$ make clean # fuck it, clean up and try again
< fails after 2 minutes of cleaning >
The C/C++ infrastructure. just everything about it. and i'm not even using dependencies here.2 -
MFW I, a junior dev who just started have to explain what sql injection is to a senior IT person... It's not like I'm an expert in the field, but a little bit of expertise would be nice2
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Fucking gdb with your stupid commands, showing me the memory allocation, shos me the data you stupid piece of shit, what is the value pointed by the pointer.
*Segmentation fault**core dumped*
Oh gdb! How much I missed you. Please don't ever leave me okay? -
On my first job I was a "Web developer" who made websites with WordPress and I was the only Web developer. Now on my second job I am a "Web programmer" who made websites with Joomla...1
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I’ve been on devRant for a very short period of time and I’ve seen too many posts about PHP fucking people in the ass.
Is it really that bad?(I’m an embedded systems geek so don’t ask me why I don’t know anything about PHP)18 -
I really don't like the anxiety when Xcode crashes, I need to force quit it and really really hope that my code is saved...
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At the parking garage downtown.
Reported issues with 4th floor "down" arrow buttons for the elevator a couple of times. Elevator and inside buttons still worked fine.
A couple of weeks later, elevator is turned off.2 -
I love my job, teaches something new everyday!
I absolutely like working on 99' tech and programming languages,
I love being an on call agent so I can get my sleep interrupted,
Happy april fools fellas -
Anyone used "Showwcase"? Branded as a "social network for devs"
Was reading an article, seems a bit shit, but thoughts?
Article:
https://blog.greenroots.info/why-do...
Url:
https://www.showwcase.com/14 -
Sometimes I really don't understand what is really bad.
My fucked life
or
The flash fucking the fucking complex timeline. -
Wrote a perl script to spam group sms to my friends, in perl. Also - web scrapers.
Ugly AF stuff. never heard of strict, or warn when I did it.....
really fun times! -
Recently read Fish!
It's a really nice book..
Really hard to implement when you have total idiots working with you -
What is something people keep saying to you about being a dev that really annoys you?
Mine is that all forms of pixel art must be for Minecraft (Really really really irritating!) -
Anyone here uses vim as an ide? I just read about it and was wondering if that is possible ... And if it really works well ...
I know, if I want an ide I should use an actual ide, but I thought this might be interesting, since vim is so powerful like everyone said.10 -
So is this true? Does the caste thing really follow you around outside of India or is this a Hindu thing? Because I don’t know.
https://pulitzercenter.org/reportin...6 -
I'm loving Firefox quantum, but I really wish the firegestures dev would update to 57+. Turns out I am really, really dependent on gestures.
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Worst: Not landing a decent job
Best: dev-wise, none really.
It has been a rather shit year, really.14 -
the moment a job application makes you go through so mamy hopps you loose intrest and they send an email after the 7th stage saying.
"were so glad your still intrested but we havent heard from you in 3 days" -
When you weren't really thrilled to celebrate the fourth and the aunt you were really close to dies.... This was a really shitty day😢4
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I really really really want to kill these people. so goddamn much. or i want them to go somewhere and die.27
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The fact that I have to leave for work in 5 mins on a Saturday just because we had Thursday off for reasons irritates me more than it should. As if 5 days a week isn't suffering enough...1
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Today I told my manager that my work from home is not working properly because of internet connectivity issues. So I’m on leave for 7 days starting tomorrow😁1
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Don't fucking force your skewed rationale into a forum app.
Source: http://en.miui.com/forum.php/...
4 -
The one time I need to use Windows, it decides to update by itself and now I'm just sitting here, wasting my time because I can't do anything.
It even says 'This will take a while'
Apparently I can browse dr for a while now thdn3 -
I really hoped for an official UWL version of DevRant... At least there is a really good unofficial one!
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"we have installed your extensions on Microsoft Edge"
REALLY MICROSOFT?! REALLY!!!
WHY DAFU! WOULD I WANT THAT
GFU!!!
</rant>8 -
TechBA: (adter solving a really simple sql change) *yeah right, we really need devs* (implies sarcasm).
A real issue occurs that needs deep dive code analysis.
TechBA: thats not really our responsibility. thats entirely to the developer.
wow.1 -
University course on Computer Systems.
I really really suck at bit manipulation and processor architecture, I tried learning it multiple times but always lost focus every time, was really difficult to stay invested and barely passed that course4 -
Why on earth can one perform calculations on pointers in c++? I can think of a dozen ways this could go wrong, but none where this is useful.
Following example:
int t = 1234;
int tt = 5555;
int* p = &t;
int* pp = *(p + 1):
Here pp will give me 5555...5 -
When you say, make it work on linux, especially CLI: PLS
DON"T
say: After installation, it is necessary to configure your system in order to protect it. You must open the browser and enter the PowerChute URL: -
For some inexplicable reason, I get super productive and creative just as soon as the clock gets near midnight. FML. I can never get enough sleep.
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Remember when that fuckin api *cough*hankerrank api*cough* you REALLY REALLY need(ed) just ups and stops working...
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Hey, really need your help guys, is there anybody out there using sconsify? I'm havin a really herd time installing it, and really would appreciate any help.
Thanks! -
My work just hired a project manager intern. With no one to work under. To be an actual project manager.
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Spent all day yesterday and a pile of StackOverflow good will on debugging the fact that I was missing a hyphen and a period.
I really, really, really suck at this.
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