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-The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve
-Yes, it was an apple
-But with an extremely limited memory
-Just one byte
-Then everything crashed5 -
Boss: I saw your last commit, great work!
Dev: But... You told me to delete all the features I added...
Boss: Yes, fantastic improvements!7 -
GUYS!!! SHE SAID "YES" !!!!
I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYYY!!!
All my dreams are becoming real! I was so nervous to ask, but it was worth it! I waited for the right moment, looked her in her eyes, she looked at mine.. And there I asked it: "are you willing to give it a try and install libreoffice instead of ms office?"
AND SHE SAID: "yes"!!!
Do I have the best wife or what!22 -
Not a coding test, but:
Them: So you are interviewing for a programmer opening. Do you like programming?
Me: yes.
Them: do you make logos?
Me: ...I can...?
Them: good because you won't always be writing code here.
Me: I'm out.8 -
Interview.
X: So, do you have any weaknesses?
Y: Yes, I'm very honest.
X: But I don't think that's a weakness
Y: I don't give a fuck what you think2 -
No, I'm not hacking.
No Linux is not a movie.
No, you are not a developer because you can put "Hello World" on a website.
No, this isn't a waste of my time.
Yes, I will use it.
Yes, I'll make you a website for free. NOT!
Your phone is both Android and Samsung.
No, what they did in the movie is impossible.
No, I can't predict the stock market.
No, I'm not Mr. Robot, but I know him...5 -
Trying to teach coding to a kid:
Kid: Can you teach me XCode?
Me: No but I can teach you Swift or Objective-C
Kid: But I want to learn to code in XCode
Me: Yes you will code in XCode but I will teach you swift
Kid: My dad said that you actually know how to code but apparently not.12 -
So what are you studying?
Software Engineering.
Oh, so sit infront of the computer everday?
For the most part, yes, but I also d...
What a waste of time, you and your videogame-internet. Back in my days...
-every conversation with elderly people ever.16 -
Fixing family / friends technical problems, episode 2.
Problem: "I lost my iPhone, I know there's a thing that lets you find it. Can you help?"
Debugging:
Me: sure, it's called "find my iPhone"
Friend: ah yes that's it. How do I use it?
Me: I'll show you, just login here and ... oh you didn't set it up?
Friend: Probably not, I don't know much about this computer stuff.
Me: ... when you setup your phone for the first time, it's a full screen thing that says "do you want us to locate your phone if it's lost. Yes / No". It's hardly writing an encryption algorithm now is it?
Friend: no it's not, but still I just didn't know. I probably clicked no for everything.
Me: ... says here you clicked yes for iCould ... and yes for photo sync ... so you read the one about your pictures but not about lost or stolen property ... nice.
Friend: ... so you can't find it then.
Me: No, natural selection took it away from you.
Friend: oh **** off.6 -
Confession:
I actually like to code with JavaScript.
It's a terrible language, yes, but I find it fun to work with.17 -
Client : your design is not cool. See this ^
*showed me some pretty neat designs pattern*
Me: which type do you want for your application.?
Client : All are pretty cool. Isn't it?
Me : Yes. But you do not need all of them. Right?
Client : Yes.
Me : So, which one.
Client : I'm confused But, this will do.
Me : Sure?
Client : Yes, very much.
After 3 days.
Client : you know what, earlier one was simple one but, best one. Easy to understand. This is (new design) making it complex. I need previous one.
Me : (I knew you'll say that, a**hole.) Just go to setting and select theme section to earlier version.
Client : thank you man.
Me : (You are red listed in my book you a**hole. Say anything else to add/edit and then see.) You are welcome.6 -
Interviewer: Alright, so tell me what you like about software, but you don't have to limit it to software you can talk about hardware too. But yes what do you like about software?
Me:
7 -
"Could I get your wifi password?"
"Just use the neighbour's"
"Don't you have your own?"
"Yes, but it's just a repeater of his"
The neighbor has no idea.
I love how people from the Balkans don't give a fuck about anything.5 -
Client(On Call): I emailed some query a day before. I got a response too. But, i am not able to find answer of my specific query.
Me: Let me check that for you. Yes, it is there. See the mail carefully.
Client: No. It's not there.
Me: Can you read the whole mail for me?
Client: Sure. *Started Reading* Oh yes. Yes. it is here. *Hangs up the Phone.*
Me: Sigh.5 -
After one year of procrastination I finally made the game with unity
Ladies and gentleman, spherical voronoi minesweeper
Yes, I made the game before with in c++ which looks quite shitty, but finally, unity
29 -
My Boss: Let's do single page web but we wont use any framework.
And yes, how fuck I ended up myself with almost half 10k of lines.
14 -
This is not a rant but this is great
I GOT THAT JOB OFFER YES! AT LEAST I WON'T SEARCH FOR JOB AFTER OUR GRADUATION. I LIKE THIS FEELING YES!!!6 -
Was just asked to take on even more work. Asked for a raise. "there's no room in the organization for a new position". Yes, but you can still pay me more.
I'm not comfortable enough to do more work without more pay. Sorry.
We'll see what happens.14 -
So after using my new MacBook I have 1 complaint... This fucking escape soft button being away from the edge, I understand you want to do symmetry with the finger print scanner but Jesus Christ it's annoying!
Edit: yes it's a minor issue but you notice it during use more than you think
34 -
> twitter.com
> we detected your javascript is deactivated
> want to use the no javascript version?
> yes
> "403 Forbidden: The server understood the request, but is refusing to fulfill it."1 -
Yes.. yes... YES!!!
I've successfully become a certified Linux enganeer!!! Now I can also say "yeah mate I've fucked it up but look, I'm certified!!!" 😝
Full quality pic: http://nixmagic.com/pics/...
10 -
Friend: Do you think you could make an app that does X?
Me: Yes but I'm not an app developer so haven't had much experience with app design so might take a while
Also friend: What sort of programmer are you? It's basic shit
My friends don't seem to understand that the programming loop for game development (Mostly background asset management) and app development is like trying to ask why a bull and a bull frog won't breed...Yes they both have bull in the name but they are 2 fucking different cunting things...8 -
Dear tech YouTubers, fucking stop trying to justify the iPad pro as an actual pro device that can replace a laptop for everyone...
Yes you can make music, yes you can draw and yes you can watch content...
Can you have multiple windows?
Can you write code and natively compile?
Can I use a mouse?
Can I power multiple displays with seperate apps?
Yes it's powerful but it's still an iPad, just because you made a bigger screenee phone doesn't mean you can claim it as a full PC replacement... Cunts -,-
(Would like to point this out mostly to Johnathan Morrison for that video showing off a single person using the iPad for a singular purpose, pissed me off more than anything!)19 -
Manager: I need you to come up with a quick, temporary solution.
Me: Ok...but it will be kind of hackish and ugly.
Manager: Yes that's completely understandable.
Me: So again you say this is just temporary right?
Manager: Yes we will come up with a permanent solution soon.
*that was over a year ago and the "temporary" solution is not-so-temporary it seems*10 -
Friend: hey i heard you are a programmer.
Me: yeah
F: so you are a hacker?
M: No. Well yes but the correlation is bavkwards.
F: oh ok.
...
F: so can you hack facebook?9 -
Friend: "Wow! Is it a Raspberry PI?"
Me: "It's another version called Banana, but yes."
Friend: "I want one too for the games!"
Me: "OK, it's easy. There's a ROM called Retro ..."
Friend stare at me intensively
Me: "Sigh... Ok, I'll setup it for you..."7 -
Having an english conversation with a russian client.
"What do you want the info to be?"
"I want the name, adress and etc."
"Etc?"
"Yes! I attached you a picture with everything...as you can see..."
<the picture is a huge table in russian>
"But the table is in russian"
"Yes"3 -
Relatives: What does he do as a job?
Mom: He's an informatician, he tinkers with computers
Me: No, I'm a programmer.
Relatives: Is it computer related?
Me: Yes, but..
Relative: Sounds like an informatician to me.
I'm so tempted to say that I butcher animals, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm a veterinarian.11 -
"everyone can code" is like to say "everyone can write". Yes, everyone can write, but there's a difference between be able to write and be able to write a successful well-written novel7
-
"yes, sir, we block ftp and ssh connections from outside the benelux (shortcut for: belgium/netherlands/luxembourg, didn't say this part but it's a very widely known term here)"
"if you allow connections from INSIDE the benelux, why can't I connect from Germany, eh?!?!"
💀😶14 -
So I have officially achieved one of my childhood dreams and built my own PC, took me a while to save up enough to to afford it and yes it's not the best but it's mine and I love it :)
12 -
When you login to a server through ssh for the first time with a specific domain or up address, you get a prompt asking to verify a signature with yes or no (on Linux at least).
That often goes well but sometimes when I already did that....:
ssh user@server
*types yes automatically and presses enter...........*
Neeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmm:
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
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yes^C
user@server: ~$
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C
Nooooo not again 😅13 -
"Hey, about that matter from yesterday..."
"Yes, what about that?"
"We need to talk about that again! How often do you trigger that system?"
"Once."
"You sure?"
"Yes, but i can check it, if you like."
*find references*
"See, only once."
"Can it happen at a random point later one?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Can you check it?"
"Okay."
*shows code"
"Look here, as you can see, it will not happen at other times."
"Do you have an idea why it could happen anyway?"
"Maybe that system does the action without my software telling it to do so, wasn't that specified that way?"
"Yes, but it normally does that roughly 10 seconds after you give the command the first time, so we thought maybe you could say what makes it do the action at other points maybe."
"Did you check that systems sourcecode?"
"No not yet. But did that happen with the older version?"
"No. But we didn't try."
"Did you change something between the versions?"
"Yes, the new feature."
"Could that make a change in behaviour?"
"I don't see how."
"Can you remove that feature for test?"
"We can take the old version."
"No, we need the new version, but without the feature you added."
"That IS the old version, there is no other difference!"
"Are you sure?"
"Would you like to see it in source control?"
"No, ~ okay. What do you think causes the problem?"
"I haven't had any new ideas since we talked yesterday."
"Okay. Mhhh,...okay. Lets talk again later."
YES SURE! BRING IT ON! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! PLEASE COME BY OR CALL ME AGAIN! AND BRING THE BOSS WITH YOU, TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS THE MATTER IS! LET ME TELL HIM THE STUFF I TOLD SEVEN TIMES LAST WEEK!2 -
Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it15 -
Recruiters and devs in a nutshell
Q: Your resume says you're fast at solving math problems?!
A: Yes
Q: What's 214x21?
A: 3249
Q: But, that's not correct!?
A: Yes, but it was fast!4 -
Q: Your data migration service from old site to new site cost money.
A: Yes, I have to copy data from old database and import to the new one.
Q: Can I just provide you content separately so you don’t need to do that?
A: Yes, but I will have to charge you for copying and pasting your 100 pages of content manually.
Q: Can it come with part of the web development service and not as an additional service?
A: Yes, but the price for web development service will have to be increased to combine the two. If you don’t want to pay for it, I can just set up a few sample pages with the layout and you can handle your own content entry. Does that work for you?
Q: Well, but then I will have to spend extra time to work on it.
A: Yes you will. (At this point I think she starts to understand the concept of Time = Money...)3 -
Can my vps provider already email me my new vps details?
It's only been 5 minutes, yes but I'm IMPATIENT.
I want to set it up right now 😊11 -
Everything has to have MAC-Addresses. EVERYTHING!
(yes, I know. That's not one. But similar)
(stolen from https://twitter.com/istar_nil/...)
-
Vacation!
Short but absolutely needed.
My time tracker shows I’ve had mental breakdowns for 29% of my tracked hours this month. I think it’s time to mail them some mistletoe taped to some manure.
(Yes, I’m searching for somewhere else. When I’m able.)15 -
Made a website respecting ALL OF THE THINGS my client wanted to have.
Client sees result :
- "I don't like it, it's not a good idea."
- "But that's what you wanted me to do."
- "Yes, but you're the programmer, you should have known it wouldn't be good."
I had told him it's not a good idea a week ago. Fml.6 -
Fuck yes for data hoarding! Wanted to start on a project again but thought I lost everything.
Code is sill in git, (took me a while to find but whatever) database is still on my own laptop (due to ex/importing my entire local host as for databases every time I do a new installation).
Let’s get this fucker going again 😎3 -
soooo Texas froze before Hell, thought it was never going to happen but it did 🥴
Had a meeting scheduled for today, but since my employees (crucial for the meeting) do not have power I had to reschedule.
VP: I saw that you cancelled the meeting
Me: yes I did sir, my people do not have power at their homes so I decided that we can postpone it for later.
VP: Understandable, I just wanted to see if you guys were ok.
Me: yes sir, we are thank you and yourself?
The rest of the conv was standard pleasantries.
Why can't it be like this for all devs around the world?34 -
Today is my birthday... apparently. Yes I didn't wake up going "Woo! Today's my birthday! I'm another year older!!!"
But I did get bunch of emails from recruiters, Fandango... So basically spam...15 -
Recruiter: do you have a negative character ?
Me: yes, sometimes I become lame.
Recruiter: but why is that?
Me: this is not your business1 -
i hate this "She-EO" crap. they can call that feminism all they want, but all it does is set back women 40 years. yes, your red blazer is gonna break the glass ceiling honey 🙄14
-
Fuck applications which repeatedly try to grab focus while starting up in the background. Yes, I clicked your little icon, you attention whore. But I'll fucking alt-tab to you when *I* am ready.5
-
People ask me why I don't use Windows 10 anymore.
This.*
*(Yes I can opt out of all that but how many average users do a fresh install of Windows?)
13 -
Playing sound on OS boot is just as bad idea as automatically playing sound on a website load. Yes I'm looking at you Ubuntu.
// it can be muted I know but.. who decided it was a good idea in the first place?11 -
Not to say anyone here is right or wrong about this, but I just do t get the whole privacy paranoia. Yes, I get that our rights are being violated. Yes I know I need to be aware and concerned.
People use specials rims, VPN software, etc... The bottom line is every keystroke, SMS, voice call, search text, historical reference... every piece of digital communication is recorded (At least in the US).
The sad reality is I can be as angry as I want, but unless I forego using tech or leaving the house, there is nothing I can do about it.
I await your comments, both positive and negative.53 -
Yes yes another arch Linux thing but holy shit, in just 2 days I've learnt so much!
First time adding a grub entry and it works straight out of the box :-D
6 -
I'm 18, asking my granddad a basic question. It was in danish, translation may not be as funny.
Me: Do you have a phone with a screen you can press?
Granddad: Yes
Few moments later...
Granddad: But i dont know if anything happens when i press it.4 -
I would (at apprenticeship level) start to teach more software architecture and security related stuff.
Yes knowing how to iterate over an array is important but it’s getting lame...
And last but not least it’s fucking 2018 why am I writing a Java 6 swing GUI on paper as a test8 -
Company: your hired, lead our X dev team.
Me: yay.
-- three months later --
Company: we arent supporting X anymore.
Company: gonna offload all X clients in 90 days.
Me: oh.
Company: but you should stay around, learn new tech
Me: is this a charity case?
Company: yes, but we both win.
Me: how?
Company: you can keep your salary.
Me: deal.1 -
When project manager is talking about things that I have no idea but I just keep saying "Yes, I can do it"
1 -
Never had a client who has not done this...
"Yes I know we are releasing tomorrow but do you mind if we make these 46 tiny changes real quick?"4 -
"PR rejected because you didn't do localisation"
"Wait, is that a requirement?"
"Yes"
"But there is no localisation in any of the 10 repos in this project!"
"Yes"
"So how do I know if I am expected to..."
"You don't, until I reject your PR"4 -
Where I work, in our database, we use 3 to indicate true and 7 to indicate false and 0 is true but null is false
In another table, we use 'P' to indicate true and 'I' to indicate false and 'Y' is also false and null is false
And the most used table, we also use 'Y' to indicate yes and 'N' to indicate no, but null is also Yes.
We also store integers as varchar in a live table, but stays an integer in all the other tables. I hope I'm not there when the number of digits exceeds the varchar limit.
These are all live and used in production all created by my boss, the head of IT.8 -
When you're in a meeting with the director of the company about a project you're working on and the only thing that comes out of the meeting is 20 new features which you have no idea if you'll be able to do them but said yes anyway.
1 -
Do NOT "compress" your code by leaving out braces in control structures and putting the 300 char statement on the same fucking line as the control structure!
Yes, your code file becomes vertically shorter than the usual 3000 lines, BUT my brain tumor proportionally grows larger.7 -
Client: it's very important that we go live with the app's sign up process.
Me: ...but the mobile apps aren't complete yet.
Client: Yes, but marketing says we need to start getting downloads and sign-ups so we get better ratings than our competitors.
Me: ...but the user won't be able to do anything.
Client: We'll add the rest later when we have users!5 -
212 millions invested in programming education in Quebec!
Yes!
But wait a sec! What are those fucking screen! And it’s fucking windows 7 you piece of shit! Use fucking ltsp! Costs less money = More teaching!
Poor students, at least they are learning to program
4 -
Professor: Envision a person as an object, what methods would it have?
Student: Run
Prof: Yes, good example.
Other student: Jump
Prof: yes, people also do that
Me: Die
Prof: Well yes, but I'd prefer we don't take this any further27 -
The fucking cunts didn't approve my PR because "it wasn't necessary to do it like this". My PR would have fixed some technical debt, but yes, fuck you too if it doesn't fit your shitty narrative.8
-
Me: I want to try Angular2 as a frontend framework.
Boss: Just use jQuery.
Me: That's not a framework but syntactic sugar for JavaScript. I rather not use it at all and rely more on ES6 shims. Let's maybe try vuejs.org?
Boss: Other devs know jQuery, just write it in jQuery. We'll need to build it fast and you have used jQuery before, haven't you?
Me: Yes, but ...
Boss: And you haven't used these recommendations.
Me: Yes, but ...
Boss: I won't take the risk. I want something that is known to work.
Me <dying on the inside>: If you insist.
Image source: https://hakanforss.wordpress.com/20...
PS: I don't work there anymore ;)
11 -
Yes, that’s an M2 drive plugged in via usb 2.0. I dunno, maybe when you just need size over anything else maybe that’s ok but wasting all that work that ssd engineers put into making m2 drives so fast just feels stupid.
24 -
Going to a webpage and after 5 seconds being "welcomed" by the typical "Are you leaving?" popup.
Yes, at first I wanted to read the article but now on second thought I am leaving.1 -
Super important prospective client: Yes but can your software application do that thing?
Me: Yes, yes it can do that thing.
Prospective: Great, fantastic thank you please take my money.
Me: Awesome.
Me: *runs away to implement that thing*
Please have my tombstone read "sales-oriented software" as cause of death.3 -
Friend : I will do this when I get back from work.
Me : But you are working from home, aren't you?
Friend : Yes, but I am at work, right now.
Me: And how does your route back home look like?
Friend : I switch input source from my work's laptop to gaming rig.6 -
They shut down the project I was working for, Again!
Yes, I learned a lot
Yes, I felt important
Yes, it was something I am proud of
But damn...
For once, I want the things I do to see the light of day...9 -
Context:
PM is not an IT professional but somehow leads IT operations ... (yes... I know)
---
PM: "Hey xxzero0, do you remember about the XYZ project?"
xxzero0: "Yes, tell me"
PM: "I told the big boss we can use it to make starships and explore the universe, I also said we can cut the developing time because we are already at 70% with it".
xxzero0: "....... Do you understand we planned to use this project to deploy a small ship in the sea?"
PM: "Yes, but you clearly inexperienced developer, don't know it needs only some refactoring to explore the universe"
xxzero0: "It is more complicated. There is no logic at all. It is just displaying data without doing anything and..."
*Get interrupted*
PM: "Yes, we need some refactoring, I'm such a genius."7 -
*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss
I got solution
but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution
*came back on desk*
me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what was solution ? wtf?1 -
Our software needs apache, php, mysql and node of certain versions installed. This is too many dependecies for our customers.
Let's dockerize!
Now they need docker, docker-compose, make, bash and python in a certain version. What an improvement!
I mean yes but hm.10 -
Age isn't a number.
It's a variable that stores a number.
(Usually)
Yes. I am growing older and sillier 😂. But you don't know me 😅.13 -
Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?
I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".
It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.
Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.12 -
Just opened my laptop to see if I can upgrade my ram, and yes I can
And I've got space for a 2.5 drive as well!
Fuck yeah!
All I need is a 1080 inside of this :P
But I've just got a shitty built-in gpu...
16 -
Transport management system support team:
Me: Good day, how may i assist?
Client: Hi, Can you help me setup my printer?
Me:* Sighs deeply with great discretion*
Me: Sorry mam but we don't do that here, we
only deal with issues regarding the TMS.
You would have to contact your IT guy
Client: but you are our IT guys
Me: *Sighs even deeper*
Me: Unfortunately mam we are not your "IT
guys"
Client: Well, This issue needs to be fixed
Me: Yes mam, yes it does *Hangs up phone*4 -
My new favourite response to a bug ticket:
"But do you not remember we tested the implementation and it worked?"
... yes ... then it broke under other circumstances.
... must be terrorists or something2 -
"yes, we are looking for frontend interns from your place of education!"
One week later:
"Sorry, but we would like someone with more real-life experience"
How do you expect me to get experience!?2 -
Seriously? Javascript is the best?Javascript is the future?
Dont get me wrong. I have to use angularjs and nodejs in my work so I am quiet familiar with them. Js csn be usefull and make things easier and simpler but it comes with a price... You can do someting in third amount of effort but you have to debug three times more. Yes you can use typescript but thats not an option always. What about single threaded design yes you can use callback and promises but really? Thats the way it is should be working? And what about that if you need one functionality than you dowbload a module but with that you are started to depend from other 737373737 packages.
I am just simply not getting this hype around JS.25 -
hey guys. I just wanted to share that I've just finally passed my masters degree defense. I still can't quite belive it, and I feel as derpy as before, but oh my fucking god, I finally passed (it took me forever).
Now just need to wait for the uni paperwork to the the formal papers and shit. but HELL YES FINALLY OMFG10 -
i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!
Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.
31 -
“Yes Haskell is my favorite language, so elegant yet so powerful, a pure form of expression of my complex thoughts”
*proceeds to code nothing but crappy hacky CRUDs in php5.4 for five years straight*
-
"I uploaded the [larger] file, but now it's taking longer to download.." ...yes that is generally how the internet works.2
-
At work:
** fast typing from lead and me fx**
** lead stops typing, scratch record sound and headhphones being taken off fx**
Lead Devel: Yo Al
*still typing fx**
Me: whats good gansgtah
L.D: remember how we talked about bringing in a version manager into that <huge_pilo_shit> program? But we haven't done it cuz we some lazy mofockas?
** now I stop typing **
Me: .....yes......fuck
Him: yes...fuck
O_o fuck....that bitch is huge man.......2 -
"Why is the production database empty?"
Obviously, we had backups, but using the situation to make my employer shit his pants were funny. And yes, I'm still there5 -
1) bugfixing
2) bugfixing
3) bugfixing
No, seriously, I love finding & fixing bugs.. it never gets old..frustrating at times yes, but it is never boring..4 -
Me : hey do you remember that c++ file ?
Him : which one ?
Me : the one with 69 if-else's and 420 switch cases ?
Him : oh yes I remember, but I don't remember, or do I ?
Me : -_______-7 -
It’s almost 2019 and I still get called by recruiters offering java gigs cause they read JavaScript on my profile 😶
See also:
-so you do JavaScript... what about backend
- yeah, JavaScript
- yes but what about backend
- ...6 -
Finnaly own a Mac!
Yes she may be an old 2009 model but with the upgraded RAM and added SSD, it's butteryu smooth!
13 -
I was to optimise a SQL query (7 min to execute,yes) with around 20 joins (I did not write this). Checked for missing indexes,etc.. but nothing worked. Stared outside the window, and back to desk reordered the joins ,executed in 10 secs.1
-
It's the FUCKING....
WEEEEEKKKKEEEEENNNNDDDD!!!!!!!!
I don't know about you lot, but it's felt like a long time coming since Monday morning.
Several concurrent projects pulling you in different directions take its toll.
Oh and to answer your question.
Yes, I am mentally unstable right now 🤪4 -
Dear game developers, if you are building your game on Xbox and are adding support for Xbox One X, please please please stop just adding 4K
Please just add a 'favour resolution', 'favour details' and 'favour performance' option... Yes 4K is nice but most of us don't care and would much rather richer visuals or an uncapped frame rate.
(Yes I know PC gaming exists but I hate PC gaming and prefer the ease of console)2 -
What idiot decided to translate the Excel-formulas?! It's impossible to follow an example you find online or to get help on a complex formula without translating it to English first! (Yes, I know there are online translators out there, but still!)2
-
We've had Deezer family with the fam for a few months (Yes I actually like deezer) but now they're going to cancel it because I'm the only one who uses it 😞.
Working on a script to automatically update my music library every day through YouTube now 😃.
And yes, I'll still buy my favourite music but I personally find 10 euro a little too much for a streaming service.8 -
So the lecturer refused to answer(yes he's a jerk) but after void can it be anyword for a function or is there specific words that can only be used?
I was confused when he put void flashing...
We were using processing.
8 -
Yes, today storage memory is "cheap".
But 100MB for an image flash tool
Wtf!?!
An arch iso is 600MB
Rufus on windows is ~1MB
10 -
Yes, my Python scripts are not remotely pretty. But then, neither was my nonexistent formal training in scientific computing. And no, I will not 'write two lines of comments for every line of code'. Physics major programmer problems.1
-
- I am leaving the company, so you will work on my project.
- (looks at code) But there is no single doc string or any documentation apart from the installation guide.
- Yes, but the project is really easy to understand.
... I will just sit here trying to understand your code instead of doing actual work. -
Technical phone screens be like, "we see you have years of OOP experience, but can you tell us about the differences between an interface and an abstract class?"
Yes. Yes I can. Can you tell me why you're asking such basic questions? Is this something people actually don't know this late in the game?7 -
I don't get what people don't understand about how monthly bills work.
"But I already paid you once!"
"Yeah, for the work we did two months ago. This is the bill for the work we did last month."
"... But I already paid you once!"
"Yes, and then you asked us to do more work"
"... ... But I already paid you once! Why are you trying to rip me off!?!"
*sigh*1 -
!dev
Yes! I just managed to play Take Five by ear with the exact chords. Might not sound like a lot, but this have been a milestone I've always wanted to reach. Yay!4 -
Firefox: You know what our users need?
Ads in new tabs!
FML
Yes I know it is "optional" but why should it be there in the first place?3 -
Github is having issues right now. I'm remembering fond memories of having a local gitlab server...
My heart is telling me yes, but experience is telling me I wont care next week and I'll just spend a few hours setting up a server for no reason.1 -
I received them last week, but I forgot to post it. Yes I have two rectangular one, they been arrive stick together.
4 -
I see a lot of arguments out there over 2 space, 4 space and tab indents but I think the really problem are the people that double tab. Yes they exist and yes they are the real scum of the earth
-
Me to university: You taught us C++, java, DS Algo and PHP only right?
University: Yes
Me: So our college project must be around these only?
University: Yes... But No, here are your only options for our college project
1. MEAN/MERN Stack Website
2. Machine Learning
3. Data Science
4. IOT
5. Android App
Me: WTF?
5 -
Hi devs!
I've seeked the world but found no answer to this:
I want an android code to convert double[] to a sound file and be able to get that double[] from the file.
And yes I've tried stdAudio library but it did not work as I expected.
Give a replay, save my life 😁5 -
Ugh, I hate when customers refuse to pay for staging systems but then randomly complain about stuff that's WIP and not working as expected yet ...
"Yes, sir, this house doesn't have a roof right now because the basement isn't done yet."2 -
I've had my stickers for a while but finally decided to put them in my new Chromebook... and yes, that's Ubuntu!
9 -
Sooooo I got new RAM for my low-budget server today.
Now introducing: 24 GB DDR2 RAM
XD yes I know DDR 2 is slow but very, very cheap ECC memory.
(still not enough for Chrome)
9 -
I'm absolutely terrified by my company... yes, these are fridge magnets. They're all over the place. It's not a tech company, but still... o.o"
4 -
Ahhh yes Prof, because I really want to be doing more work than I need to be...
// Tedious string concatenation.
System.out.println("a: " + a + " b: " + b);
// Output using string formatting.
System.out.printf("a: %d b: %d\n", a, b);
But, hey that's just my opinion.
3 -
Well those are the FAQs... But where the Fuck are the answers?
I guess it's just oracle being oracle
And yes I have checked on mobile and desktop with 4 different browsers.
And no those aren't links
https://oracle.com/database/...
7 -
I have this math teacher and, wow, is she good at math. And, wow, should she never enter another field in her life. Today she asked us if anyone does code. The answer is yes, but I refuse to answer something that uses code as a verb.7
-
So I work for an ISP in the customer support center and we use slack for communication... As you can tell by my starred channels; we do plenty of work...
(Yes, potato is dedicated to nothing but potato)
6 -
Whenever tech support answers "yes, i can help you with that sir",
what they really mean is "no, but i will google it for you" -
ME: so this is a RAID array
YOU: but the A in RAID is for "array" so isn't saying "RAID array" redundant?
ME: Yes, that's what the R is for.
(from Steve Land, source: http://ganssle.com/tem/tem348.html/) -
Sprint planning meeting discussing UI:
Customer: - Wouldn't that confuse the user?
Senior Dev: - Yes but it will take less development time.
Me (junior): ...
1 -
Who the fuck decided to block a programm download because you are on mobile?!? Also I'm not even on mobile but on my Linux™ desktop ya cunt! An yes I know is a Windows app which is not intended for Linux. But have ya ever heard of WINE??!?
Looking at you CurseForge!23 -
HR: Do you work under pressure?
Me: Yes, but I swear very much.
HR: what?
Me: uh.. and sometimes I punch in the face, yes just in the face.1 -
I found a way to make me procrastinate less on my own projects today! Stream development of it to Twitch.
Yes, there may be nobody watching most of the time; yes there may be nobody interested in a wall of text and no voice; but you just feel the need to stay on-topic when streaming, and I kinda liked it.3 -
I need help, my site said it's full so I have deleted everything in the media library but now all the images have gone!
Yes, thats its purpose!
Thank fuck it's Friday! -
Customer: Does your program do everything I specified in that mail from 2 months ago?
(btw the mail was 5 sentences...)
Me: Yes.
Customer: And does it do xyz?
Me: No, but to be fair, you did not specify that!
Customer: But that's what I've got you for! You should have known that!
🤦🏻♂️2 -
Common misconception is that low efficiency technologies (react native, in this case) are completely useless. That is not true at all. Im building a smart home, and yes i want a mobile app, but 90% is just requests to endpoints, so its way simpler to just copy paste some buttons inside a js file than do it properly with native. Would i use it in prod? Fuck no. Would i hack together a bunch of buttons? Fuck yes.8
-
I just love when:
Programmer: I just hate people working with X language. They are so average and can't reach a thing...
Me: Yes, of course, but you also work but with the X full-time, right?
Programmer: Well yes, why?
Me: oh nothing, just wondered...
And in my career I've seen so many cases like this... They all whine that X is bad, Y is for noobs but still continue to work with it themselves...4 -
Question:
Kotlin?
Yes || No || Donno
Thinking about giving it a small touch but wanted to look on what others thoughts are.
Cheers ☕7 -
Conversion topic: a security feature the PM doesn't like
PM: but WordPress doesn't do this.
Me: yes but WP is hacked every couple weeks and isn't exactly a security standard!
Debate continues for 5 minutes... And I'm forced to remove the feature 😑 -
Just came across this gem. What's wrong with it??
Yes, the threat of SQL injection here is a legit response, but in this particular case that's not the answer I'm looking for.
Hint: This method gets called a lot!
15 -
Quite an aggressive remarketing strategy.. Caught my attention yes, but this crap all around the interwebs would eventually become irritating as hell..
3 -
Medieval torture devices got nothin' on Angular.
The Rack? Ha, good times!
Brazen Bull? Happily!
Iron Maiden? Yes, please!
Pear of Anguish? Funny name, I'll take it!
But Angular?!
PLEASE GOD, NO! HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!4 -
It's 1 AM and I've just finished deployment on production. I should go to sleep but what I do, yes scroll through devRant.6
-
HuGhEsNeT gEn5 Is FaSt.
*Yes I know for some of you, 25 mbps is fast. But it's not here. I've got 100/100, I believe. And soon to have the option for gigabit, I believe.
7 -
Okay, can we just all agree to stop making YABSS? (Yet Another Bootstrap Standard Site)
Yes, Bootstrap can be used for nice things, if you actually dig into it and tweak it, but please don't just copy/paste a fucking getting started template!
FFS! Stop it!6 -
Why the fuck do offline-enabled (music, video) apps load forever on slow network but instantaneously in airplane mode? Is it so difficult to show cached content first and refresh only once downloaded? Yes, I mean you, Spotify, Amazon Music, Amazon Video and Audible!!! 🤬1
-
Can anyone recommend a good cross platform way to develop GUI applications?
Looking at building an IDE for GMS-2 to add a new workflow but can't find any good GUI's...
(I want to use C# and yes i would ask on stack overflow but im more likely to get help here and not get called a dick head... Maybe)17 -
Fucking mongodb... the name is really fitting "mongol db"..
I get that a NoSQL db can be very useful but holy crap mongodb is shit..
Even better is the security.. holy shit it's insecure..
"Just use the configuration to only allow 127.0.0.1" stfu that shit apparently doesn't work on fucking centos..
And yes my customer did get hacked
And yes they did blame me
And yes I did have a backup5 -
Blizzard coming this weekend. I get to spend the night at work because our disaster recovery plan isn’t in full swing (Yes it’s paid, but I am going to lose my mind). Awesome. Suck my ass, winter.2
-
Marketing meeting. They don't care about programmers and they don't want you to talk but they would assume you have said yes to everything they asked for6
-
Randomly reviewing a coworker's c++ codebase revealed he was locking at the beginning of a critical section, but explicitly calling unlock for each and every error-handling branching within it. And yes, he forgot to unlock at several places.
That's just not RAIIght.
-
Go home windows your drunk. Yes i want to but i have to use you
Translation:
Microsoft Windows
This application doesn't react. The program could possibly react i
again if you wait.
Do you want to kill this procrss?
7 -
Conversion rates and shipping make it awfully expensive to get official t-shirts here in India, so I decided to experiment with t-shirt printing till the time I can earn enough to donate directly to open source foundations.
I call this design "FUCK YOU, AUTODESK!!"
(Yes it's literally just the logo. Yes I'm not a graphic designer)
Not too bad, but the print could've been better. Time to start tweaking things.
8 -
I have noticed that C/C++ developers that deal with backend server technologies are very much likely to resort to PHP for some reason. I have noticed it from serveral developer friends of mine or simply by noticing how the topic comes along sometimes on web discussion forums.
I believe this is the reason why certain extension codebases that deal with php are(for the most part) exclusively done in C++, take Phalcon, written as an extension in C or PHP Swoole, which is written in cpp iirc.
I wonder what attributes does the language, or the tech stack as a whole has that would make this particular kind of developers feel attracted to the platform. Is it that is easy and widely available and they just say "fuck it, I don't wanna spend too much time in this shit" <--- which is a very valid point really.
Or them just having an innate preference towards it?
The Psychology Behind Developers: By Dr AleCx0417 -
Yes, come tell me there's a user experiencing an issue, but you don't know on which page or exactly what it was. I'll fix that right away.2
-
Did you know that Alt+f4 and Ctrl+w does not format your code in VS code?
Yes? Our college didn't and we had a good laugh 😂
After that we tried Alt+space+c but he did not trust us anymore.2 -
family/neighbour: you are engineer?
me: Yes, but software engineer
family/neighbour: can u fix my tv or iron -
2 fucking AM. My phone rings.
-Hi! Oh sorry did I wake you?
-Yes...
-But its only 7 PM!! Why are you a sleep so soon???!
-Grrr... Coz we are in different timezones dumbass!
*call disconnected*
1 -
Almost at my company for two years, and not a single raise or compensation adjustment. No bonuses. No nothing.
I was scheduled to get something in April, but COVID hit and fucked it up for everyone.
But hey, if you're on sales you get a BONUS on top of your commission for selling a product and get a mandatory meeting every Friday that the entire company has to attend, just to jerk each other off with deals we've made.
Yes, we make a product. Yes, you are hired to sell it. We cannot live without each other. Just blows that the engineers are under appreciated, underpaid, and just not cared about.5 -
"Yes, that's possible."
Translation: "I don't want to look like a fucking complete yoghurt, but I have no idea how I even tied my own laces this morning - so god only knows if this is possible"
-
New job at new company
Going over current systems
Oh boy
I don't know if I'm excited for the challenge or scared that they have lived with the system like this for that long.3 -
Hey, i don't wanna start a war here, but.... what you guys use more: GitHub or bitbucket? and in which case should i use one or another?
Yes, i have tried google, but i wanna know what you think about those two.
Thanks26 -
This is my mom's phone (yes I have access..fingerprint access, she doesn't 😝).
I just cleaned it up.... And now gonna run an experiment.
Which Weather app will she use? (Actually on my Android phone I use DarkSky but it cost money) 😐
1 -
Numbers implementation in so many freaking languages!!!
Lack of naming consistency, and meaning.
And yes, setImmediate and setTimeout 0...
But the biggest feature issue is that people can code without thinking!!! There should be some hardware security to impede stupid fucks from committing code...1 -
So I’ve finished the project (YES FUCKING FINALLY I KNOW) but it’s not official until I turn in the code to my client (FUCK) and see if he wants me to add anything or if it’s good how it is. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻2
-
Buyer's remorse is a bitch. Yes, it's the top shelf gadget. Yes, it may very well save my life. Yes, I've wanted it badly since it got released. Yes, I will be using it on every occasion.
But it's 300€ ffs...9 -
BRAG.
New home internet conexion. (yes home).
https://speedtest.net/result/c/...
For lazy, screenshot is uploaded.
I fill it's "only" 2.5Gbps card which limits me, not ISP. But 10 G cards are fucking expensives
21 -
learn when to say no. you gotta play and say yes sometimes, otherwise people won't like you, but if you say yes to anything they'll walk over you2
-
Whoever programmed ATMA's roomba-style device… you really really need to improve your skills!
Yes… my room is L-shaped, but that doesn't mean one of the arms of the L doesn't need cleaning!! 😒1 -
That would be Sony.
Mainly because the of PlayStation 4. I mean what kind of company blocks the access to third party’s account so you can use it only on their console (the Fortnite situation). That’s literally saying “we own you, bitch”. Even Apple doesn’t do that kind of crap.
Fuck Sony and their PlayStation. I’m sticking with Xbox. Yes, it doesn’t have as many of exclusives. Yes, it’s made by Microsoft - the same company which made Windows 10. But fuck Sony even more than them.2 -
!rant
I just realized... DevRant is what happens when someone says "I have this killer idea for an app, it's just like Facebook. We have to make it, but it's easy" ...and you respond with yes.5 -
I keep hearing about manual repetitive work that could be automated with software but for no specific reason, is not. For years I've been calling this "meatware" and yes in these cases you the developer is the meat3
-
Sitting with two of my friends
Me: You ever get a random eye ache? But like you actual eye not like that migraine behind it
Friend 1: Yes
Friend 2: Wtf? No
So the other dev knows what I'm on about but the civilian doesn't... interesting8 -
today
me: How should we proceed with the tests?
customer: Yes
(it was a longer technical how question but the answer was the same)2 -
Co-worker on phone with our manager trying to explain something to him:
Co: Do you even know what a foreigner key is?
M: Yes, but bla bla bla
Ps: The manager doesn’t really know what a foreigner key is 🤦🏻♂️11 -
X : What do you do?
Me : I am an embedded software developer
X: So you develop software?
Me: Yes, but my software works on BareMetal.
X: So you work in a metal workshop.
Me: -_-3 -
People that put spaces at the end of each form entry. Infuriating to say the least
NB: Yes, I trim and validate, but who is teaching these little fuckers to do this. Seriously.4 -
Anyone else here hardly code in their free time? I'm a professional developer yes but I tend to leave work at work. Maybe if I found something fun to work on with others... Or a personal project I really wanted to do for me.3
-
Another thing about Android 9:
I miss the thing where shortcuts for settings, wifi, bluetooth etc are separate from the notification drawer and you can pick by dragging down on the left or right side of the screen. Because yes, I have a 19.5x9 aspect ratio, but have you ever tried to read long notifications in portrait mode?!? Notifications are important! They need more than 1.5cm (!) of space. Yes! I measured! And this is ridiculous!
1 -
Vendor lock-in for cloud providers is really small, and you don't notice it until you need it. Route53 has an "import zone file" button, but they don't have an "export zone file" button. Yes, there are other tools and scripts to do it, but bit-by-bit AWS, GCP, and Azure make it difficult to leave.2
-
Spent 2h debugging code until I realize that code is good, but written in a .coffee file... Instead of ._coffee. Yes,it changes the way code is executed. Wtf happened to this world.
-
This is iOS. The “Phone” label should move and transition from white to blue. But, it’s not just one label, it’s two labels on separate screens, so for this effect to work, they should be aligned perfectly.
However, blue label is off by two pixels.
Yes, to notice that you should probably have Aspergers. Yes, I do develop user interfaces.
Yes, I basically monetized my Aspergers.
3 -
"Hey Boss, the things you are asking for will take one year to develop. Replacing the complete UI with another is not an easy task for our software [due to not having MVC or any kind of code modularisation]."
"Yes, but it needs to be done until november"
"We don't even now the requirements, yet. This will force the complete team into weekend and night shifts, to even get a first working prototype done! From my team lead I expect to be defended against such things!"
"Yes, but I need to make money!"
...5 -
Can you make me this page please.
Me: its done its 100% like the psd you send me
She: yes but this component is bigger then this one
Me: its the same here the css proof
She: can you change it ?
Me: ( this will change the hole component and douin the same shit ) yes i will do it for you.
She: again this is not the same size
Me: ( what the fuck i said to shut is mouths ) ............. Fml -
I'm on the verge of breaking this shit Windows based work laptop (Dell, so called i5, yes it's outdated but still) with idk what.
15 and a half mins since bootup and I've not been able to access Microsoft Outlook.6 -
I've decided to, as an educational exercise, implement DEFLATE compression / decompression and zip file format, and eventually tackling Excel format (which is just a .zip) so I can generate true excel spreadsheets (instead of .csv files) client-side using JavaScript.
Are there already libraries that do this? Yes, but then I don't get to try to implement these interesting algorithms. Is it currently 1 AM? Yes. Do I have work tomorrow? Also yes.
If I don't just fall flat on my face, I'll post updates!1 -
Alright, fellow coders, I need your help this time <3
I was thinking about getting a full stack developer position after school, with mean/mern stack. (Yes, I love js, but you can hate me for that later)
So, I just got an offer for a front-end developer position that I didn't apply to but was recommended for by my full stack prof.
Everything is great about that company, but! I'm not sure I'm good for that!
My question is: does being a front-end developer mean being good at putting together nice looking website?
I'm good with angular, but suck at material or just CSS in general.
I can implement business logic, but anything more complex than grids causes my eye to twitch.
So, is front-end developer supposed to be good at design part of it or not?
Google says yes, but I got other opinions from my friends, but they are still students too!
All hope on you guys! Thank you8 -
I take an excessively long, hot shower the day before.
>but don't you already do that on a almost daily basis?
Yes -
.Dispose();
.Close();
.Dispose();
what an idiot! and his profile said he had 4 years of experience...
oh, yes, and that thing of not using arrays...
I have even more code from this guy, but one picture is enough
-
Has anyone here ever created fonts? specifically cursive fonts?
If so, comment here. I have an idea. Yes this should be collab, but not really, b/c it is just an idea.
And I need clarification on it. So, yes, technically, a question. Seriously though, font person, I'm talking to you, easy money.
(Sorry for using the word easy money, except it is apt)13 -
You tell them this design is going to be complex, do we really need it?
They say yes.
We come up with the solution with lots of hair loss.
They say, "this looks really complex, But we are glad you came up with this".
Nuf said.1 -
!rant
Yes!!!! My AI has been born tonight...He may not "compete" yet but the foundation and concept is written and sound...now to just fill in the conditions and variables and he's going to be kicking player's butts in no time!2 -
Just getting a pizza, can't help but get annoyed by the jittery as fuck newsticker, they didn't even get the encoding right....
(Yes our POS software has 60fps jitterless hardware accelerated fully utf-8 encoded newstickers before anyone asks me to do a better job)
2 -
Why haven't I learned about js fetch before now. I've even used socket.io!
Fetch is amazing and I just built a function for using fetch with WordPress AJAX hooks. Yes I know it's WordPress and there's jQuery but all of my custom plugins use vanilla js as a little fuck you.
Oh yeah but ie doesn't support it at all2 -
https://washingtonpost.com/national...
Probably paywall but... Yes another case of super smart people doing the dumbest things
2 -
Why didn't I learn about property overloading before. So much copy and pasting I could have saved.
Well the drawback of selflearning :)
(yes I know about the perfomance but it doesn't matter on this project ) -
Thoughts? You think it's too personal, like too much personal info to put out there?
Yes I guess it's sorta late but...
“Why I Code” https://medium.com/@allanx2000/...4 -
Working on a project in which the work is planned around what I'm already good at, isn't much use.
Yes, the person who is paying for the project, would want only someone with experience (good experience) to work on the project.
But really I'd like to work on stuff which will be challenging (in terms of learning new stuff). So yes, I'd like to get paid for learning! -
Vr headset for working outside. Yes you will look like a douche but has anyone tried it? So sitting in sunny weather, keyboard below, can see desktop in headset. Maybe not a vr headset but something else? Thoughts? Any other 'coding in bright places' tips?5
-
!dev
Fuuuuuuuuck
My passport is expired and I need it soon, another way for the government to take more of my time and money
(Yes ultimately it's my own fault but still fuuuuuuuuck)2 -
Recruiter rant.
Me as a fresher.
Submit your resume?
I thought you went through it before you called me down.
Yes, but I will need a copy.
Don't you have it in your inbox.
(And I was rejected.)2 -
Why is it so damn hard to integrate an external api into Android in a non messy non tedious way... I mean yes I'm new to this but it's unnecessarily tough..
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This whole GDPR, cookie law thing is really getting annoying.. Every website you load:
A wild large popup dialog appears, reasons this and that, options this and that, click next, are you sure, yes, yes,..
The dialog itself is annoying, but it's even more annoying if it pops-up 10 seconds after you've already scrolled and are reading stuff.
Am I the only one who didn't care that I got tracked and whatnot and analytics stuffs were stored etc?2 -
I'm currently trying out Apache Cordova. Feels like playing minesweeper for the first time.
But as always a debugger rushes to rescue me:
Ripple :: Environment Warming Up (Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.)
Yes, I'm gonna make me a cup of tea now.1 -
i'm unhappy with my freelance project. should i quit? (Bad design, bad pay) And i dont needed but i say yes. I know its my error but im unhappy.4
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*le me sleeping/nap*
> Employer : Hey Dexter, check all our projects, I'm visiting new client..
> Me : okay sure, but what's the acceptance criteria?
> Employer : Yes
> Me : *sleeps again*
¯\_(ツ)_/¯2 -
Why, just why is this being recommended to me like, on every fucking video.
Yes I do a bit of GLSL but that's fucking it.
https://youtu.be/OWdAT-D_klg2 -
How can I find small open source c++ projects to contribute? Yes, i googled this but all I can find was projects with hundred files. Anyone need a lazy helper for his/her os project?4
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When your coworker is a "yes...but". If your solution is either non-existent, or vague, and mine is actual code, PLZ STFU. Nobody wants your "constructive criticism".1
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I really love JavaScript but the most fustrating thing is solving IE bugs and finding only solution by using jQuery... Yes even in 2016.2
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Hey Game Developers,
I know this is the worst place to ask this question but still...
Is it possible that a game developer will make an online multiplayer game at a really low budget for me?
If yes then where can I find them?17 -
Have a SOAP service but need REST service since it is in fashion?
Easy, make a endpoint and ask for the entire body of soap (yes, in xml) in body of rest request.8 -
The evolution of code, in Python:
-Many scripts
-Refactor common functions into a Utility class
-Make the scripts into classes/methods with a "static main"
-Create a super script to run them all
I'd provide a screen shot of the last but to much propriety info... But yes it looks short and simple 😄😊 -
Fuck wired headphones.
The cord gets caught in the chair when standing up, the cord gets twisted so you can't hear anything, not all devices have headphone jack anymore.
Yes I do use bluetooth headphones, but was given a trial of a wired headphones.16 -
What if you could alt+tab out of windows in your virtualbox VM to windows in windows and vice-versa
And yes, I'd prefer native Linux but it's a work computer so I can't use it -
Yes, Google is my friend, but is there anything out there that aesthetically better looking than a MacBook pro, I'm suffering trying to find something out there that I like and that's as solid...
In all cases I'll be running Linux on the machine, but can't find something that pulls off great performance and aesthetically pleasing at the same time..11 -
I usualy don't participate in surveys. But this time for linkedin, I don't know why, I said yes. After the third question, I hit CONTINUE and ... boom! Never again.
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just a little pool here, do you, yes, you, do you think an inexperienced intern should take an epic story?
(not that there we work with agile, that would be great, but it's a task equivalent to an epic.)2 -
RIP my fucking dog laptop. And FUCK Asus. The solution to fixing the fucking laptop is to get a new MB and display. But the motherboard is so God same expensive because you obviously have to solder every fucking component on it so that it's much more of a PITA.
PS yes I'm fucking angry but I hope y'all having a nice day.4 -
git isn't as solid as people believe.
Yes, it's used by million of companies. But it's not so solid35 -
Anyone else thinks 5,5" are way to big for a phone and just wants a one plus 3 with under 5" ? What is it that people have with big phones? Get a tablet !
(Yes iPhones are perfect but too expensive)12 -
this sucker. Don't make me laugh. Yes, I know what place is that, and yes, I know many of those and most of them rip you off (tho they are good for anyone starting on anything) but no, I'm not interested, Mr. Shady Russian guy.
4 -
Use less dev rant. Yes I know it's ironic to post this here, but I waste way too much time on browsing through posts every day :/
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Now that's an election done right...
Stupid US political system/media where all the attention goes to Republicans and Democrats candidates and both are the same shit...
Yes I know not dev related but just had to rant....
11 -
Hotel Suite with free Wlan! Free yes.. but wtf.. 256kb... Maybe they still use dialup with AOL free CD's ?? We will never know...1
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I hate Java. I was using PyCharm for all my python development. I wanted to extend it, but I hate Java. So I looked into other editors - Atom and VScode. But when I found out I would have to extend them with JavaScript, I realised what I was better off with PyCharm again.
Yes I know I could use sublime, but I hate its licensing.2 -
Why is Python still frowned upon in Competitive Programming? Like yes it's allowed, but why do we have such a huge stigma against it?2
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Fuck ubuntu 18.04 with their snap format. Yes it's good for things that ubuntu users need, like libreoffice or Chrome.
But GOD SAKE WHY DOCKER ?
21 days ago it was not even possible to modify daemon.json reliably xD4 -
Microsoft is SLOWING down Visual 2019 on purpose now... that's insane.
Yes VS 2022 is looking good and shit, but why the SAME project went from 2 mins of compile / start time to 4 minutes in 2019 and stayed at 2 mins in vs 20022 ?6 -
alias "phpunit-commit"="phpunit && git add . && git commit"
This have saved me so much time.
- phpunit
- if all GREEN, we add and commit to git
(Yes, theres likely tools for this, and some that run after pushing - but I've already avoided some faulty commits)3 -
Why isn't already a Font Awesome plugin for VSCode where you can look up icons by keywords like in their website?
I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be that hard to make AND it would be pretty useful.
Yes, I would make it if I knew how.
Yes, I hope I can one day make it but I have been running on 5.5 hours of sleep for the last month. Not good for someone used to around 7.2 -
smblevelworkshop2. It's a level editor for Super Monkey Ball 1/2.
I mean, yes I could try to add on to and fix my first attempt, but that's such a huge mess (speed < quality) that I just decided to scrap it and work on v2. -
You have to read this as Bill Hader's Stefon character.
"Yes yes yes yes yes. It's that thing where you said something was an issue three hours ago but was confirmed to not be the issue but turns out to be the issue."1 -
I love most trends around js, because often they're thoroughly thought through (not always) and make things easier.. but why the fucking fuck do all the js coding standards use 2 SPACES. Now this isn't intended to be a tabs-vs-spaces rampage rant. But this decision against tabs is like saying yes to a 50ct pencil instead of 100 dollars.7
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Fuck oVirt!
Fuck OpenShift!
Fuck everything Red Hat made!
Yes, they make the hard stuff easy, but they make the easy stuff sooo unnecessarily difficult...2 -
Okay fine now enough is enough
Yes I declared and assigned the variable after calling the function and it's usage, and yes I copied it directly from a tutorial which had snippets everywhere, and yes I was blind and it took me 4 hours to find this bug, while eating chocolate but that's not important (c'mon I deserve a chocolate) and yes I found it immediately when I was posting a question about it on Stack Overflow.
But please JavaScript, why can't you do some magic find the variable in the whole script?1 -
How am I supposed to learn android development when I can't run Android Studio. It is soooo slow. Fortunately I've got and android phone so I dob't need the emulator, but it's still very slow.
Yes I know I can use eclipse, but I wish I was able to learn how use Android Studio IDE 😞😞1 -
Anyone familiar with js bxSlider? Anyone have time and willing to slack chat or email with me to provide some assistance? Yes I looked and am trying to get some help on stackedoverflow as well but this is time sensitive for work :(7
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i got into reddit recently (yes never tried reddit before). I love it. and i always loved devrant but now i cant stop wondering... couldnt have all this been replaced with a subreddit?
(i tried looking into tech subreddit, but still didn't find a tech ranting subreddit yet which im finding to be very odd)7 -
I created a comprehensive, fundamental guide to privacy:
- it's eternal — new apps come and go, but while the internet and our computers are the way they are, the guide works and needs no adjustment;
- it's permissive — you don't need to live in the woods. Yes, some services should not be used as-is, but you may still enjoy their content;
- it's easy — yes, it requires your typical content consumption to be somewhat altered, yet there are no taboos.
Content and medium aren't the same. Instagram stories have fundamentally nothing in common with Instagram itself.
There is no inherently bad or harmful content.
My search for privacy is over. Not anymore is it an uphill battle. Yes, I can do a finite number of things to achieve privacy once and for all. No, this doesn't limit my content consumption.
I'm going to write a complete essay. Stay tuned.1 -
I know this question sounds dumb but when i google 50% say no and 50% say yes. So my question is, can i spread (a Fileless) Malware with cookies?5
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I've got startup ideas.
Not just ideas, but, I'm working on all of them.
Now I wanna leave my engineering...
And everybody is telling me not to.
Can I get a yes here?8 -
My decision making chat bot project chat with it on messenger: https:/m.me/karar
Only replies yes or no but very useful when you are in doubt or having trouble to decide what to do. -
Spent last hour looking for NFS Heat for PC but no sale. Saw one offer from Kastoff for $24 but seems shady...
Also seems need Origin launcher so could get banned/deactivated I think...
Then just thought why don't I just play Forza 4 that I paid $100 for a few years ago....
But yes anyone have the game, is it worth it? 4K?2 -
Visual Studio. Slow cheetah plugin allows you to transform your app.config so to have different files for release and build. yes, because with Visual Studio 2017 we need a third-party tool to do that. Are there any vs-native alternatives? Yes. Are they good? So and so. That's what I think, but slowcheetah has 300k downloads, so many people seem to be using it.1
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Which syntax is "correct" TypeScript syntax ?. I prefer the first one. But what's about guidelines ?
Note for UpperCase variables: yes I know. We use that syntax to differentiate public and private variables. (Yes I know that doesn’t exist in JavaScript)
8 -
when you find a project you'd like to clone and learn about but you cant even get their examples to build locally...
yes im looking at YOU every c based project on github.5 -
Sent a User Story link to a senior that he had requested (10+ years of exp)...
Me: Sir, why do we need this US?
Him: Why
Me: Yes sir, why do we need that?
Him: Yes, that's what I'm asking you, why do we need this?
Me: But sir I asked first 🙄1 -
Yes but you see this function everywhere so why is it so hard for us to implement?
Next time i’m gonna say that this function is everywhere, but why is it so difficult to design? -
Guys i have a damn problem with my friends laptop (yes i don't like doing it, but have no choice)
I can't intall on this laptop any windows (good for me, but not for friend) beck use of blue screen A5 or sometimes B7.
I read about this and it might be bios, but it's updated. I can't see any hardware dmg.
Linux work perfect :(
Have you idea what to do?6 -
By trying out everything, and starting projects but never finishing any of them.
And talking about coding in dev forums. (Yes, this was before SO and reddit) -
1. Can I use dt-options to reload dynamic data (Ajax) using angularjs datatable.
2.if yes.... How?
3.can i use jquery datatable and angularjs datatable in one application but different controllers? -
I wish there is an open source alternative to forge or serverpilot. Not to use on production servers but for local development environment.
Yes, I'm not a command line person.4 -
Clients should pay their bills, yes. But also, developers should check their bank accounts before shutting things down.
https://thesun.co.uk/news/8253908/...2 -
Yes, I'm that sucker who writes by hand the copy paste code fields even if he already knows how to do that. I'm not proud of it but, what can I say? I'm a wet guy...
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Yes you can put a dent into the universe.
This one hippie at the Sea of Galilee, has maybe done it, but left disciples who taught others the Sermon on the Mount with the halberd. The disciples of the other one in the sandals from Silicon Valley now make the world happy with their small white devices, almost cute, but no less annoying. -
freaking once you work with office,pages, google drive.
freakin disgusted you are
freaking video holographic documentation for the foking win
okay also not even that but. yes I am disgusted how nicely it doesn't work. it !works like a charm6 -
Except for meeting good people and getting a lot of time to do my own stuff, I didn't get anything from the University. Yes, grades suffered. But who gives a fuck about them? And Coursera helped a lot. So did YouTube, edX, Udacity, etc.
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