Finally I found a webpage related to my bug.

The page is from 2004.

*keeps reading*

"Yes, yes! This is exactly the problem I'm having"

*Carefully reading each comments*

*Looking at scroll bar with stress*

*Almost coming to end, no signs of solution*

At the end the thread creator say: "Ah finally I've fixed the problem. Thanks everyone for helping"

*moment of silence*

WHY U NO SHARE THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION? YOU FUCKING IDIOT

So, this random teen on subway asked me if it was 9GAG I was scrolling [i was on this app ofc]. I said it's better than 9GAG.
He went on like this "oh cool, does it have the the NSFW section too?"
...
Me: a...No, but can learn coding stuff
Him: hacking?
Me: hacking is not what you thin... [He interrupted me]
Him: Damn cool, I wanna learn hacking, it's my stop nice meeting you tell me the name of the app
Me: a...9...ha...ck, 9hack!
Him: cool, thanks. [Gets off]

(Um...Some people just don't deserve DevRant, if you know what I mean)

Interview went well until i asked my questions about them.

"Are pet-projects a thing in your company"
... no.

"Can i attend programming gigs in a workweek, and are they paid by the company"
... no, no

"Any restrictions on the IDE"
... yes we only allow visual studio
"Wait, frontend web development in vs?"
... yes

"Do you develop in other languages then JavaScript"
... only Java

I calmly stood up, told them "I dont think that the company and I are a good fit. Thanks for your time."

Ummm, thanks but no...

Fellow freelancer: "I might have a new project for you. A potential new client asked me to modernize her WordPre …"

Me: "No, thanks."

Fellow freelancer: "I've known her for years, she …"

Me: "Nope!"

Fellow freelancer: "But …"

Me: "Kindly do fuck off."

You have done a great job!! Thanks for delivering the project on time. It is exactly what I asked for. I will ask for no changes and I will pay you right away.

Said no client ever.

C: application not working
Me: k. What changed?
C: we didn't make changes
Me: k... *gets a tech team (W) on the phone*
W: Hey, what's broken?
Me: C's application. How do things look?
W: running healthy. I'll check logs.
Me: thanks. *gets tech team (S) on the line*
S: hey, everything clear on our end, will check logs.
Me: thanks *gets tech team (U)*
U: hey! They asked us to deploy their new version today during normal deployment time. Is it acting up?
Me: C, what did you change?
C: nothing major, just how we connect to W and S...
W&S: are you shitting me???
Me: U, will you please roll it back?
C: no! Must stay on this version, you need to fix your side!!
Me: nope. *calls U boss (UG)*
UG: U, you have my permission to roll back, they need to fix. C, if your boss doesn't like it, have them call me.
*rollback fixes problem*

IF I FUCKING ASK YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHANGED, YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR I WILL STRIP YOUR CODE OFF OUR FUCKING SYSTEMS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU AND YOU NEED TO BACK TO FUCK UP AND NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY JOB OR YOU WON'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.

IT: Hi, how can I help?
User: Hi, I can't get onto the wifi / internet, my computer says "No Signal".

IT: Hm, we don't have wifi, your on a cable, what exactly is saying no signal?
User: Its just on the screen here.

IT: No but where, are you inside a browser, or is it a popup down the bottom corner?
User: No I haven't got that far yet, it just says no signal on a black screen, then it flashes and says no signal in another position.

IT: ...... did you turn on your computer after turning on the monitor ... thats the screen saying no signal from the computer.
User: ah yep, thats it, thanks!

They asked for a web developer
Interviewer : can you fix this printer ?
Me: no
Interviewer : You're not for this job
Me: thanks God I'm not for that job

While working support a client calls saying he's being DDoS-ed. The whole team went into high alert. Everyone is checking network traffic but there is no evidence of an attack. The client insists, calls all the way up to our CEO complaining of our incompetence and that he's losing thousands of dollars every second.

I take it on myself to look a little deeper. After some Sherlocking, I find that the client's developers managed to build an infinite loop that makes HTTP requests to localhost. The client was DDoS-ing them selves.

I got no thanks for my competence no apology regarding my incompetence. 😑

Son: Dad why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Because your Mom loves roses! Son: Thanks dad!
Dad: No problem, vue.js

Just reached 100+!!

Anyhow. I started coding prettymuch 365 days ago. My mate decided to launch his company and figured it was a good idea to start it with good friends who knew fuck all at coding.

Fyi, the dude can code 15 hours straight everyday for about a year (no shit thats what i saw).

Since he taught me html css javascript(even if i still suck abit at js). He made me remake the whole bootstrap in react by adding this new lib styled-components and test everything(95% coverage :)).

He also taught me webpack and rollup. Json schma forms，http requests redux， redux logic， and all the routing shit...he obliged me to i plement RR4 on release and is now making me overlook the merge requests of my other collegue (yes he made me a git pro，almost).

And now i have to work long distance by studying java， spring， oauth2 and start working on our api.

O yeah，and i went from microsoft to full on linux!!!

To be honest i thought i was gonna die this year. (Also have a kid on the way :)).

Devrant has been like going to the psychologist :) everytime shit hit the fan i realized every one has the same problems :)

Thanks to the community i can also now even give out nerd jokes :)

(L)Devrant

Fuxk yeah! My code works! It's 2AM, I'm happy and there's no one around, so I wrote a poem :-P

What was once impossible,
Is now close to completion,
Thanks to my debug statements,
Which now await their deletion.

So at school the teacher gave us a MONTH to write a sorting algorithm in Java. I asked the teacher if that wasn't a little too much time.
Her answer:" I want to give the weaker people in class a chance."
Okay so far so good.

The day we had to turn in our code I asked around what algorithm others had choosen and if they had any problems with it.

Classmate A: "yeah we didn't know how to program it so we copied it from the internet and I modified it heavily."
Me *raised eyebrows*: "can you show me?"
Me: "but that's exactly the same like the first Google result?!"
A:"No look there , I added this line so that it works with my code"

That lying bitch just added bucketSort(myArr, maxVal);
In the main method.

Me"How is that heavily modifying?"
A:"Also I asked the teacher and she said it was OK to copy the method from the internet"

What the flying cunt is wrong with people. So you give us a month to copy and paste from the internet.
Yeah great teaching.
You are the reason why half the class can't program shit.

Thanks for nothing. 😒😒

First rant hope you enjoyed it.

"Personalized Advertisements":

No Amazon, I'm not interested in buying any of these phones, I just bought a new one five days ago, remember? You sold it to me! And stop recommending the same book I already got five YEARS ago!

YouTube, why are you always showing me the same ad about an app I already own and use regularly? And why the FUCK do I you show me the new trailer of Star Wars Ep8 as an ad video before the actual video of the new Star Wars Ep8 trailer?

Audi, I am an university student, barely able to pay my rent, why are you telling me to buy your newest car? How do you expect me to afford this?

Monster, why exactly are you showing me job offers as "Technical Product Designer at company X" for which I'm not remotely qualified or even interested in?

Neither do I have 5000£ (I live in Germany, at least match the currency, ffs) to invest in some suspiciously promising stock market schemes, nor am I in any need of rheumatism pills or a hearing aid (I am 19). I cannot afford or want any Rolex watches and PLEASE, I don't know why you think I would, but I really do not need a special new and innovative brand of tampons, my dick is doing fine, thanks.

"Hot local singles near {my actual location} want to fuck!
Click here!!!"
At least there are still some ads you can trust to be relevant...

I love how Developers always seem to make the greatest communities, there's no hate. Just the most genuinely nice and helpful people. Thanks guys for being here!!

Dear nerds from all over the world,
We get it. 404 pics are funny.

But did you know there other status codes too?
Like...
204 - No Response
301 - Moved
302 - Found
400 - Bad request
401 - Unauthorized
402 - Payment Required
403 - Forbidden
501 - Not Implemented
502 - Service Temporarily Overloaded

I'm sure you'll also find funny situations with these.
Thanks. We're the best!

Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.

New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.

Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.

Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".

😮

Thanks a thousand times to that guy!

USER: I can't see any data in the page...!
ME: ok, I'll do a check
ME: API calls get no data back. Boss, did you change anything and put it in production?
BOSS: Absolutely not, I just modified the name of what was the "Family" parameter in "Type".
ME: Seems legit. Totally agree. I'm going to lunch. Can you check in the meanwhile why calling the API with "Family" does return nothing? Thanks.

I know why it exists but.. no thanks.

*deep breath*

Remain calm, don’t freak out, remain calm, don’t freak out.

*deep breath*

Ok, so my sort of new manager (had a slightly different manger-ish role on the team), has for the third time in as many months, just sent an email criticizing the dev team for our working from home-ness (which for the record has not been that bad, 2/3 or 3/3 have been in everyday for the past month)

In this same period, there has been late nights, weekends, successful releases, I’ve been invited to talk at a conference about my work (not a particularly big one, but still). Point is, everything is going well, very well in fact.

There has been no emails discussing our great work, thanking us for extra work, thanking us for picking up slack from other teams who are down a few people etc. no our major concern it seems is the “optics” of our team not being present in the open space.

Our contracts list flexible working hours, and his boss has frequently told us WFH is fine when things are too busy. But no he is complaining for us to get our hours in the office in line and make sure we are in the office more.

It’s been a particularly long and frustrating week, and I’m very tempted to inform him that if he is concerned about my chair and desk looking empty, that I can put them somewhere for him where they will always be occupied until a surgeon can remove them.

However, thanks to the deep breaths, I’ve managed to restrain myself long enough to run this past you all first and ask advice.

Please help,
Sincerely,
My sanity

My brother did something so stupid, I'm even doubting my relationship to him.

So yesterday he goes of to a friend of his and takes his MBP with him.

Later that evening he messages me : dude i got trolled big time, but reaaaally big time.

I ask him what's up, and what he replied to me, i still cant comprehend.

He said that he had lag on his mb when playing a game so he went to the internet and he came across a post with a command ... 'sudo rm -rf /' and someone else replying 'thanks bud, solved the problem for me'. So he went ahead and removed his root partition lol . I was like : WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ENTER A COMMAND YOU DONT KNOW WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.

It made me think of another post here 'sudo like you have no backups'
Lol

How reading E-Mail is hard:

Me:
"Dear client,
please send the pictures for content A and Content B.

We also found content C in your spreadsheet. Do you want content C to be uploaded? Please us where to place it.

Regards

Me (who does not consider this a difficult text)
"

Client:
"Hello. Please find attached the pictures for A"

Me:
"Dear Client,
Thank you for the pictures for A.
What about the pictures for B?
And what about that content for C?
"

Client:
(no answer)

Desperate Me:
(Looking at the attachment and finding pictures for A and B)
!!@**! :(

Reluctant Me:
"Dear Client,
Please look at the new iteration <here/>

And by the way.. what about that content C?"

Client:
"Thanks and find the images for Content C attached."

Extremely fatalistic and desolate Me:
"Well thank you. Where shall we put it then?"

Client (answer to the unanswered mail above)
"Thank you. Please don't forget to put in C."

-_________-*******

This one colleague at my work.

I'm pretty new to a lot stuff and I stress out about some stuff a lot more than the other guys, mostly because I'm scared I might not be able to fix it.

But whenever that happens, I explain this guy what's going on and then, while making jokes, talking in a very calming way, he always knows to fix it in no time!

For everyone who does this, thanks for being there for the little/new guys :)

A real interaction I just had...

Team Member: "Can you handle this ticket for a bug fix?"

Me: "Whats the problem?"

TM: "We aren't exactly sure..."

Me: "Ok, so can you show it to me?"

TM: "We can't get it to happen again, and when it does the machine freezes and we can't debug it..."

Me: "So, if I find a fix then how do we test to make sure it worked?"

TM: "I'm not sure..."

Then today,

Product Manager: "How's that bug fix going?"

Me: "Well, let's see. The problem still hasn't been defined. I have never been able to recreate the issue. I have a hacky fix in a PR..."

PM: "Great, so we can deploy today?!?"

Me: "No, because we have no way to reproduce or test this issue at all..."

PM: "Do you think your fix will work?"

Me: "Honestly, no. If you're asking for my opinion then you can have it. IMO this is NOT a bug fix but a change to how the system operates altogether. This system was built by someone who didn't know what they are doing. We have done our best with it but it is a house of cards. And now the solution is to replace a card at the bottom layer. It is likely that no matter what fix we do (even when we can fucking test it) that it will topple the house of cards..."

PM: ~Looking at me in disbelief~

Me: "If you ask me for my honest professional opinion then you will get it. Keep that in the future if that honest response was outside what you expected."

PM: "I will do that, thanks for your assessment"

Where do we go from here? God only knows.

Praise Joe Pesci

This is where everything started. I got the chance to work with actual production code. While it is very fun to work with, in some places it's also very frustrating. And this is from where, most of my rants come from.

Thank you @dfox and @trogus for making such a beautiful community.

The best part of this community is I never have to think or take time to make jokes or posts so that I can get upvotes. I've always wanted likes or retweets or reddit upvotes. But it never worked out because I have to think so much to make clever comments or posts. Most of the time, I gave up.

But in devRant, all I do is just share what's happening in my daily dev life. My frustrations, my happiness. That's all it takes. Everyone understands, everyone cares and everyone loves.

Over time, thanks to devRant, I've understood that I was part of the wrong community. This is the community that I deserve, this is the community that every dev deserves.

Thank you all. I love you. And I promise, more rants are coming :D

Especial thanks to @Yeah69 @kevbost @yarwest @tisaconundrum @Linux @donkeyScript . I have no idea why you guys all of a sudden rapidly upvoted me. Although I would love to reach 10k naturally but won't complain haha

My Senior php backend team leader told me I could choose a new laptop, he said:
"You could always choose a mac, and be a real developer"
mean while I was already downloading ubuntu, and replied
"No thanks, I don't do html/css"

Alone at home ✔️
Night time ✔️
Battery about to die ✔️
No electricity ✔️
Painfully hot weather ✔️

If I die here tonight, please commit and push my code..
Thanks

$sis: hey $me, can you help me?
$me: Uhm, sure, what's wrong?
$sis. The printer doesn't work..
$me: what does it say?
$sis: what do you mean?
$me: like, when you try to print something, what does it say?
$sis: uhm... idk...where should it say something
$me: On your screen you should be getting an error message right?
$sis (now getting irritated for some reason): no it doesn't..
$me: okay, let me check it out
*I walk to the printer with my sister's laptop and plug in the usb*
*Select printer > click print*
"Printer offline"
$me: was it also saying this before
$sis: uhm...yes
$me: ok
At this point im already getting a bit fed up
$me: are you sure this port is working
$sis: yes, I am sure
Okay, check other ports just to be sure, also don't work.
After about 15 minutes of debugging, turns out she managed to unplug the cable on the printer...
And all I got was a "o thanks"
Fml

My friend write to me
Friend : Hi my PC is broken
Me : Any text on monitor ?
Friend : No
Me : Do you plug power cable ?
Friend : Oh sh**t no. Thanks !
Me : facepalm

I finally know why I have so many upvotes. I seem to have made a pact with the devil. No, really, @TheDevil pushed me over 35k with a LOT of upvotes. I don't know how I earned that, but thanks! I just knew the devil was on my side all along.

*at front end job interview*
Me: so what kind of version control do you use?

CTO: well, one of the guys here developed our own system.. bla bla bla *turns around laptop*

Me: *sees internet explorer* NO THANKS 😬

"hi, we have some dns records we'd like to change, they're in the attachment. Could you send a message when it's done? Thanks in advance!"

No, fuck off. Fucking cunts.

Client: My email not working
Me: What error message you getting
Client: Nothing, it's just stuck on Outbook
Me: Is your Internet working?
Client: Yes, of cause am not that stupid
Me: No! No! just asking as checkup
Client: Okay
Me: Open your Internet Browser and goto Google or Facebook
Client: Okay hold on..I am getting message "There is no Internet Connection"
Me: Yea, your Internet is not working that's why email can't be send. Talk to your IT Guy or Internet Provider about it.
Client: Okay, thanks!

Teacher says we're using Wix for the assessment we're doing in IT class.

Yea no thanks.

No, thanks, I'm fucking fine without it

DevRant feels a lot like home. Not because I'm a pro developer - I'll probably never be one. But because I get to spend time with "my people". It's like when I went to Dreamhack for work and after 30+ years of being weird there were suddenly over four thousand people just like me.

There is no shortage of online IT culture but devRant is unique. It could have become the usual cesspool of hate, misogony, trolling but hasn't. Somehow it gives me hope to se a place meant for blowing of steam turning out to be one of the more respectful communities. So - thanks people! Your rants actually make my days a little better.

PM: Please get this done by tomorrow. It's just a small change.
Dev: No its not that simple.
PM: Why is it not simple? Please explain so I can understand.
Dev after a hard thought finally explains: blah blah blah
PM: Well, we have promised the client so please do this by tomorrow, thanks.
Dev: *bangwall

All web developers should support up to IE9 without any problems.

Why? Because in Korea, it is normal.

Every person uses that damn Win7, which has either IE9 or IE10. Without IE support, no one will browse your webpage.

Now you would ask us, why don't you use other modern browsers?

We would then ask you, why would you install a new browser that is
1. Buggy
2. Heavy
3. Takes up ram
4. Has so many features
when you have an awesome minimalistic browser that is preinstalled, and works in all Windows? No thanks.

So, if you put a message saying you will soon drop support of IE, it means that you won't target Korea. Just after the support drop, there won't be traffic to your web site.

So what is the point of this rant?
1. We love IE. Lol
2. IE is lightweight, minimalistic, and the fastest browser in the world.
3. All websites should NOT drop support for IE.
4. We don't care whether web devs will have a hard time. We just think websites are built with Wix and Wordpress, and they work in IE, meaning, IE support is the number one priority.
5. If you ever start a business in Korea, and has a website, make sure to hire an senior Korean web dev who has worked with IE for a long time.
6. Here is the tl;dr
Hate us. Period.

Because of a rant from AlexDeLarge abut css and frameworks a while ago, I decided to use no framework and style a small school thingy myself instead of reaching to bootstrap immediately... Damn, no regrets! Flexbox is even better then any grid library thing I know! Thanks :D

Drove 1.5 hrs for a interview at a company which was developing mgmt software for fire departments. They were very pleased with me, as i am with a volunteer FD and a perfect fit in their opinion. I declined after i found out they code base is mostly VB6 and they considered source control unnecessary.
Thanks, but no thanks.

Boss: Hey, you were in that "Pike place fish market session" today. How was it?
Me: well, it was really motivational and inspiring. I learned few new things.
Boss: Great! Also let me tell you that you're again our employee of the week and we're considering you for the employee of the year award. No one got nominated so early in the job here.
Me: Thanks
Boss: So you wanted to talk to me. What was it about?
Me: Oh, I wanted to resign. Already sent the mail to you.

Today's been wonderful...

If you're working on code for a $100,000 system that there will only ever be three of, it's going to be reviewed. If you're working on a $2,000,000 system that has to work 100% of the time in orbit, you can bet your ass that's going to be reviewed.

Again with the flight system: I don't care if you were born in a backwards tribe on Mars where your computing power is equivalent to that of a sloth's left nut and tab characters are a sign of heresy, you're gonna follow that style guide like gospel until you have a damn good reason not to.

The clean room for these satellites is pretty cramped. It's also hot as getting a rug burn on a lit stove top. Doesn't help when you need to wear a heavy lab coat/bunny suit. It's a clean room, wouldn't you want to keep sweat off the hardware too?

No, I'm not doing your homework for you. If you don't know the difference between Mips and a sock, look it up.

Thanks IT, nobody on campus wanted to use a lab machine this weekend, no reason to stagger the updates that take machines down for hours. *Applause*

Stop fucking raining! I've needed to mow for a week, now it's never gonna dry.

Why the hell have a typed this on a phone? Ugh. I need to go replace my thumbs now.

God virgin media are useless:

Me: “hello how long is left in my contract”
VM: “you have three months left, may I ask why”
Me: “this is now the 3rd day in two weeks I have had no broadband I’m looking to swap to someone more reliable”
VM: “ I’m sorry to hear that I’ll check our system to see what I can do for you”
2 mins on hold
VM: “hello mr day we can offer you a special offer of doubling your internet speed for only £5 a month”
Me: “how does that help with the fact I have no internet”
VM: “well it won’t but we have an engineer looking at the problem and we estimate it will be fixed by 17:05”
Me: “thanks but no thanks, what’s the early exit fee”

😡🤬😡

I recently found an old laptop and turned on. It was running Windows but was too slow to use. I had Linux installed and it runs like new. I now have a laptop to use with no extra charge. Thanks Linux!

WWDC was not about developers this year. It was a conference call with shareholders and investors. No bold moves, just several consecutive "this product will no longer suck" and "look at what you can do now, big companies" announcements.

watchOS will work now (it's too slow ATM). tvOS will just be less cumbersome. macOS still lagging behind (I mean, I already have great third party apps that clean my hard drive, but thank you for solving a problem I didn't need fixing). iOS 10 is simply about messages (it's not going to make me ditch Telegram, because it doesn't have an Android client, regardless of how large you make emoticons appear on screen). Apple Music will still suck, especially if you have more than one Apple ID. And Apple Maps will continue to be useless outside of the US.

Where did the bold moves go? Where's the "we're breaking up iTunes into several distinct apps that serve their purposes really well"? (Guess iTunes is too valuable a trademark...) Where is the "we will end the WKView vs UIView vs NSView nonsense"? (You know, OOP is about creating classes, which are abstractions and whose instances deal with the particularities of their environment; a View is a View, regardless of where they live; an instance of a View should care about being on a watch or on a phone, not the developer.) Where is the "we love indie developers and will help you"? They showed off a lot of integration with well established apps, that don't really need to stand out any more. They showed that video of "normal people" who have developed apps, but no one knows about them! And then they changed the AppStore so you can pay to advertise your app, but who has the means to do that? Indie devs are surely on a tight budget, so who's that helping again?

For me, this WWDC was sugar coated with a "we love you developers" BS, but was a business statement to large companies ("see what you can do now Uber, Lyft, WeChat, WhatsApp, Doordash, all the P2P payment apps, ESPN, WSJ and so on?"). It's already a known fact that the bulk of the AppStore revenue goes to the top 1% apps. And what's the point of having tvOS be open to developers if it is very unlikely I'll ever develop anything for it unless I work at CBS?

It's great that they want to make it easier for kids to learn Swift. But there's very little point in that, if those kids' apps aren't going to be used and are simply going to make the "we have 2 million apps on the AppStore" announcement look shinier for shareholders. Without a strong indie community, the Swift Playgrounds app for the iPad is just manufacturing workers for large corporations.

And without a strong indie community, things get tougher for indie clients as well. Who will have the money (and therefore the time) to implement all those integrations in order to even dream about competing with heavily funded apps?

Yeah... So thanks, Apple, but no thanks.

I reversed engineered the network protocol for a game.
I uploaded the source code to GitHub and made a post on UC Forums.

I kept getting bombarded with messages from the same person, it went something like this:

Him: "I can't get this hack to work, pls send finish hack, thanks"
Me: "First of all this is not a complete hack. You actually need to know how to code to use this library."
Guy: "Ok, can u help me make hack for game?"
To keep this short, I basically told him:
"No. Look through the code, learn it, use what you learned."

Couple of hours later he replied:
"Ok. I look through code but don't know how work. Send me code pls."
From the kindness of my heart I made a extremely simplified wrapper for the already simple code and sent him the project files.

He replies with: "Thank for hack, I not able make it work. I build I try inject game but no work. How to run dll file."

At that point I gave up...

!Rant

I have the absolute greatest and nicest front-end developer in the world.

Today I was being given all kinds of praise for putting something on a site that the client loved and it seems to be getting the conversions they want. I felt really bad taking the praise because I didn't design it. The front-end developer designed it for me and gave me a picture of what she thought the client wanted and I built it. So I passed on all the compliments to her and told her that everyone was super happy with it.

She accepted the thanks but then floored me telling me that she didn't feel like she did anything and that my job was more important. We started arguing about who was more important.

"I accept that your designs do nothing without my back-end code, but without your designs no one would ever use anything I made."

She responded by sending me a list of sites with terrible designs that people use daily. And continued to tell me how much more important back-end is than front end.

If she wasn't 1500 miles away I might have kissed her. I needed to hear that today.

Don't y'all (I'm from the south DEAL WITH IT) just hate it when you find an answer form to your problem on Google and all the replies are:

"I have that issue too"
"Sorry no idea"
"I had that problem last week"

Then the guy who asked the question says:

"I fixed it thanks"

CARE TO SHARE WHAT YOU DID SMARTASS?!?

Our web department was deploying a fairly large sales campaign (equivalent to a ‘Black Friday’ for us), and the day before, at 4:00PM, one of the devs emails us and asks “Hey, just a heads up, the main sales page takes almost 30 seconds to load. Any chance you could find out why? Thanks!”
We click the URL they sent, and sure enough, 30 seconds on the dot.
Our department manager almost fell out of his chair (a few ‘F’ bombs were thrown).
DBAs sit next door, so he shouts…
Mgr: ”Hey, did you know the new sales page is taking 30 seconds to open!?”
DBA: “Yea, but it’s not the database. Are you just now hearing about this? They have had performance problems for over week now. Our traces show it’s something on their end.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no!”
Mgr tries to get a hold of anyone …no one is answering the phone..so he leaves to find someone…anyone with authority.
4:15 he comes back..
Mgr: “-beep- All the web managers were in a meeting. I had to interrupt and ask if they knew about the performance problem.”
Me: “Oh crap. I assume they didn’t know or they wouldn’t be in a meeting.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no! No one knew. Apparently the only ones who knew were the 3 developers and the DBA!”
Me: “Uh…what exactly do they want us to do?”
Mgr: “The –bleep- if I know!”
Me: “Are there any load tests we could use for the staging servers? Maybe it’s only the developer servers.”
DBA: “No, just those 3 developers testing. They could reproduce the slowness on staging, so no need for the load tests.”
Mgr: “Oh my –bleep-ing God!”
4:30 ..one of the vice presidents comes into our area…
VP: “So, do we know what the problem is? John tells me you guys are fixing the problem.”
Mgr: “No, we just heard about the problem half hour ago. DBAs said the database side is fine and the traces look like the bottleneck is on web side of things.”
VP: “Hmm, no, John said the problem is the caching. Aren’t you responsible for that?”
Mgr: “Uh…um…yea, but I don’t think anyone knows what the problem is yet.”
VP: “Well, get the caching problem fixed as soon as possible. Our sales numbers this year hinge on the deployment tomorrow.”
- VP leaves -
Me: “I looked at the cache, it’s fine. Their traffic is barely a blip. How much do you want to bet they have a bug or a mistyped url in their javascript? A consistent 30 second load time is suspiciously indicative of a timeout somewhere.”
Mgr: “I was thinking the same thing. I’ll have networking run a trace.”

4:45 Networking run their trace, and sure enough, there was some relative path of ‘something’ pointing to a local resource not on development, it was waiting/timing out after 30 seconds. Fixed the path and page loaded instantaneously. Network admin walks over..
NetworkAdmin: “We had no idea they were having problems. If they told us last week, we could have identified the issue. Did anyone else think 30 second load time was a bit suspicious?”
4:50 VP walks in (“John” is the web team manager)..
VP: “John said the caching issue is fixed. Great job everyone.”
Mgr: “It wasn’t the caching, it was a mistyped resource or something in a javascript file.”
VP: “But the caching is fixed? Right? John said it was caching. Anyway, great job everyone. We’re going to have a great day tomorrow!”
VP leaves
NetworkAdmin: “Ouch…you feel that?”
Me: “Feel what?”
NetworkAdmin: “That bus John just threw us under.”
Mgr: “Yea, but I think John just saved 3 jobs. Remember that.”

A senior developer come to interrupt me.

Senior developer: blah...blah....blah about this concept...... that concept... So, any new things you learn lately that you would like to share?

Me: I am learning back C++
Immediately he stop me and said, "Why did you learn C++? It is obsolete, no one use it anymore"

Me (in my head): But, you just said what I learn. It doesn't matter if its obsolete or not. Infact you are wrong, C++ is not obsolete anytime soon. I was about to share on webassembly.

Senior developer: So, would you like to join me in a short sharing session this afternoon.

Me: No thanks, I am really busy (just want to avoid at any cost)

Using Eclipse for java programming.
My program doesn't work... No errors, no warnings, the logic seems good.
A couple of hours of debugging later still nothing.
I close it and open it again, it works, thanks Eclipse.

Just when I deactivated Facebook I found devrant. Hmm no regrets 😁 (thanks to Google play's homepage).

Story time:

Ok so I'm in school and I'm on the computers we have to do a project on them the with rest of the class and I'm sitting beside this guy let's call him Bob (not his real name) anyways so Bob is working away on his computer and I'm trying to move documents and i decided to use cmd for it so opened it and then bob saw the cmd window and yelled "TEACHER HE'S TRYING TO HACK THE SCHOOL" then my teacher came over who has no idea how to operate computer like the rest of the class im surprised they can even turn the computer on anyways my teacher comes over and yells "PRINCIPALS OFFICE RIGHT NOW" and I'm like WTF?! anyways I have to explain to the principal what I was doing but she didn't understand so I go detention that day. Thanks a lot BOB!

Stack Overflow. Everyone uses it but everyone seems to hate the community. I very often read about someone getting down voted and they all say the same thing - "I have no idea why".

I have spent a lot of time moderating SO posts, which gave me a lot of reputation and medals. I find it fun to help people and it feels good to give back to the community.

I have asked a bunch of questions and I've never gotten a single down vote, which leads me to believe everyone of you that is constantly getting down voted are doing something wrong. Because the posts I see getting down voted are fucking stupid questions that either lack information or contain too much information.

Example 1:
Server java error

Why is my server not working? I am using Tomcat, port 8080 and I'm getting IOException.

Example 2:
Webpack configuration not working

My webpack is not a working, why?
[entire webpack config]

End examples.

What the fuck are you expecting asking questions like these?? No one gets paid for answering your questions, so the least you can do is write a CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE question. I'm not gonna tell you how to do it because there's A LOT of information on how to do it.

People devote hours and hours to helping others on SO, and of course they get fed up with the stupid and lazy questions. That community is not about being nice, it's not about making people feel welcomed, it's about QUALITY OF CONTENT. No one is crying when they find a superb question + answer, right? That's the result of a community not accepting low quality content.

So please, the next time you get a down vote on SO - do not come here whining about it but instead take a look at what you have posted there and ask yourself if it could have held a higher quality.

Thanks!

Fucking hell, I don't give 2 bits of a shit about the World Cup, but after seeing our country win the previous match I can't help but feel proud. That's Belgium - our Red Devils! 😈

But does a victory from 11 guys chasing a ball change anything for me? Not really. And I don't want to have to think "give my 90 minutes back" for every match that occurs. I have servers to maintain, technology to integrate. Utilities to develop. Having to spend 90 minutes of my time on not that but on watching TV like rabbits being hypnotized by a light, no. That's an insult to me. Especially when it's for something stupid like "the glory of our cuntry!"

Fucking shitsport. Overpaid ballchasers, and what for.. to please the masses. Bread and circuses. Just give me the scores already and let me get on with life.

3-1, thanks. 5 seconds spent on looking it up, efficiency increased by 1080x.

No Google translate, I don't want you to translate my Lorem Ipsum. You are misunderstanding what I'm trying to do here. Thanks anyway.

Windows 10 update: no more wifi, no more trackpad, 60MB more RAM usage when idle.
Thanks Microsoft!

Because of hardware failure we had to move some vpns from one datacenter to another.

The team of highly untrained monkeys at my hosting provider were hired to do this. First they ran backups of all the systems. Then they started the moving process. A few hours later they were done. We got an email everything was back online.

So we restarted all our processes and no data was coming in from our Raspberry's around the country. So we start a little investigation. What did these buffons do, they changed our rsa keys.

So we kindly ask them to put the old keys back so we do not have to fix 200 changed key warnings on systems that are not remotely accesible.

Apperently something that can't be done because their back up process is automated and always makes new keys.

Holy fucking fuck, whats the point in having a backup its not an exact copy. Is this fucking normal?

Now I will be spending the next few weeks literally standing in cow shit reconnecting Raspberry's.

Thanks a fucking lot. Not!

Usually, I work that way :

1. Read the documentation
2. Try stuff
3. Fuck it doesn't work.
4. Oh no 😢
5. THIS THING IS HORRIBLE I DON'T WANT TO WORK WITH IT SOMEONE HELP BEFORE I COMMIT SUICIDE
6. - "You should look at this :"
7. "WOW THANKS GOOD IDEA"
8. Yeay it works!
9. Oh wait, why does it work?
10. What the f*ck 🙃 it doesn't work anymore
11. Oh I get it
12. THIS THING IS AMAZING I SHOULD USE IT MORE OFTEN

For my school coursework, we have to create a search facility, now the problem is my class weren't taught this. So 3 sleepless nights and with basically no knowledge of Javascript, I create it. Now, I like my classmates so I don't want them to fail, so I distributed it to them with clear instructions and told my teacher that I'd done this. They asked for my help anytime it crashed but no-one said thanks, they just treated me like an easy route to a pass. I went onto my school private development forums and it turned out my teacher had created a tag for me called 'Unsung Hero' and made a UH appreciation thread that I could read but others could only type their own post. People in my class were praising me for what I'd done and how much I helped. I understand why I do development and why I'll never stop.

An idiot was running to get the train (underground) and almost slipped into the track.

Tried to hold me, smacked me in the face in the process. Still held him from falling in the track. Didn't even say thanks.

My nose is now bleeding like there's no end to it. There's a big cut right in the middle of the nose.

Not the Friday I was looking forward to :(

No Google, I don't want to download Google Chrome to use YouTube. Thanks for the offer, but I'll stick with my browser.
Fucking cunts.

Making an Android app for a group project. Of course, no one besides me in the team knows anything about Java, or Android, or life, apparently.

A guy "worked" on some small feature for 90 minutes last night before calling me for help. He can't comprehend git so he sends me a message containing his spaghetti code. I proceed to bang it out quickly the right way with him on a Skype call watching my screen but he isn't asking any questions or contributing at all. We have an approaching deadline so I am beyond coaching this guy.

We go to test it out and I had forgotten a line. Simple fix, but it prevents the feature from working as intended. Rather than being remotely helpful the guy gets an attitude about how I write buggy code and that the feature should be robust. I fix it and he slinks back to silence.

Cool. Thanks for the help bro. Glad you could contribute.

I hate it when I try and have a discussion with another dev and the conversation devolves into something akin to:

Me: I'm doing a thing in y language! How do I do z using y language?

Dev: WHY ARE YOU USING Y LANGUAGE?! Y LANGUAGE SUCKS AND IF YOU USE IT YOU'RE STUPID. ALL REAL DEVS USE X LANGUAGE.

I just wanted to know how to do something. Maybe I don't want to do it in another language. Maybe I have to use this language for work/study. Maybe I've just been given legacy spaghetti code and can't change the system easily.

Why do people feel the need to do this? And if they want to flame a language why can't they do it constructively?

Dev: If you are trying to do a thing in y language, why don't you try using x language? It offers an easier way for you to complete the task that you want, and it has other amazing features too!

Then you could actually respond with the appropriate response which would be thanks but no thanks because of this reason or thanks i'll check it out.

No need to be so elitist all the time.

When you learn your project will be launched Monday in an email sent to the whole company, just before the weekend...

I'm not even kidding. No one on our team was consulted if the app was ready or not.

There was no infrastructure in place to even deploy the app. Everything had to be done in a hurry over the weekend to deploy something half baked, thanks to that idiot project manager who told his boss everything was ready.

Two colleagues ended up doing this work over the weekend, but looking back, if I was the one having to get something deployed over the weekend, I would have just refused and come back to work as usual on Monday and watch that idiot explain why it's not live.

tl;dr read the whole thing you lazy goat-molesting arse.

People. It's unpopular opinion time!
Windows is brilliant.
There. I said it.

Why? Because it has the balance of user-friendliness and customisability that is great for most workloads. Its enormous user- and developer- base allow almost anything you want to be done on it.

For instance, a few years ago I hooked up a MIDI synth pad to my PC and found an obscure program to use MIDI events as macros. I did not have to write any code, compile anything or any crap like that. (If you're a developer then you'll have no problem with that kind of thing, but not everyone's an über-technical nerd like you. Deal with it.)

I don't like Windows. But it's still brilliant for most people. All you Linux fan- boys/girls/helicopters are right to advocate it, but it will never expand its market share to more than the percentage of people who are developers, (unless it turns into a corporate enterprise (which it probably won't)). It has its flaws, but most of them will never affect the average end user. OK? Thanks.

"You've earned the Tumbleweed badge (asked a question with zero score, no answer, no comments, and low viewed for a week)..."

Thanks SO!! When I feel down, you can always make me feel lower...

Well dear former employer thank you for everything. Thanks for taking me on as a junior and not providing any training at all. Thanks for changing my job role without consulting me whilst I was on holiday and again failing to train me for a job I had no idea about, but you apparently needed me to do for you. And finally thank you for letting me work nearly a full shift before telling me how much you like me, don't have a bad word to say about me, and you're really happy with all my work but the company and I "aren't a very good fit for each other anymore".

I've been on devRant for a month now and I've got more than a thousand(!) upvotes already.

I have no life. But I've got a lot of fun here and I am less annoyed at work, so that's a good deal for me :)

Thanks, fellow ranters!

Yes, can't w8 to debug skype using IE.. :/
Thanx but no thanx!

Skipped my lectures at university just to get my new Dell laptop at home.

Here is my experience of dell account portal:

There is a 50-50 chance that your order will appear in the list of orders. It has it's own mind, sometimes it will appear, sometimes it will say it has found no orders.

Now if somehow you do see the order in the list, there is a 50-50 chance that clicking on the order number will actually show you the correct order. Most of the time it will take you to a completely different order, where you can see the name, address and other personal details of a person that you don't know. THANKS DELL!

Now if somehow clicking on the order number takes you to the right order details page, there is a 50-50 chance that there will be no courier information, it will be blank without any information. Sometimes it will show the tracking number, but no courier details.

Right, now let's say that I don't give a fuck about any of these. I stayed home, skipping my lecture, just so that I can get my laptop. They promised me that they will deliver it today and I trust them 🙂

BUT YOU MOTHERFUCKER, not only that they will not deliver it today, they haven't even bothered to give me a call and say that they won't be delivering it today. YOU PIECE OF HORSESHIT, I skipped my fucking lectures for you. Now I have to skip my lectures for another day, just to get my GODDAMN laptop.

FUCK YOU DELL, DIE IN HELL!

Dear recruiters and so called "startups".

If you want to attract me by starting with the phrase: "Mobile lead role in Startup" and you go on like...

"We are a startup with offices in Shanghai, Hongkong, Vancouver, San Francisco, New York,... "

or

"We are a startup and also the 6th biggest phone network in the world... "

No thanks, enjoy your startup themed cubicles and fuck off!

After the stickers, the ball is finally here!
It's way bigger than I expected, I love it. (no sexual jokes, please)
Thanks, once again, to @dfox and @trogus for this awesome app and this amazing community.

Thanks java! FAILURE :java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: OutOfMemoryError thrown while trying to throw OutOfMemoryError; no stack trace available

I hate recruitment agencies. Had a conversation, i said no thanks. They phone back they next day and tell me i need to let them know if i want to go forward with the job then get angry with me as i tell them no again. WTF?!?!!

"You should definitely use Ruby on Rails. All the startups and cool companies use it, plus it's really easy to pick up."
- random dude in computer lab

No thanks.

30 fucking degrees..! In a country where even summers used to be no more than 20°C. No surprise that Elon Musk wants to go to Mars. Planet Earth is completely fucked already. What's the summer going to be this year? 35? Next year 40? I don't think that we can even reverse it anymore. Thanks humanity.

Lots of stress and strain the last months private and at work.
Headache all the days and no time to get back to my self. Programming starts to get tedious.

Now changing my life completely.
Broke up with my girlfriend and started looking for a new work - finally got a new contract today.
Dismissal coming on Monday.
3 months to go to get a enjoyable life.

PS: lurking some months and finally created an account. Thanks for all the rants which let me smile!

Me to friend: I have finally unlocked the devRant C# shirt!
Friend: like, an actual shirt?
Me: no for my avatar, I'm so stoked!
Friend: so... It's not real? That's so stupid.
Me: you want to get deleted like I deleted Facebook? devRant swag is the best swag.

Thanks everyone❤️

A true story.
"Ok you did a very good job during these 3 months, so we think you can go on with us."
"Thanks, so how about the final contract?"
"What? oh no eheh, you will do other 3 months as test because we want to see if you can do also other stuff not only as developer, we need that you act also like a secretary, a tester, a manager, and working again for home after work, and also during the weekend, but we can't pay extra work of course. So, what you think?"

The magic world of startups

Wanted to ++ rant about that clicking devrant logo refreshes page. Now thanks to algo I can not find it... Sorry mate, no ++ for you

Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!

"No thanks lol it works this way too"

Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution

"Why are you so mean"

Well, devRant has turned me from a bigot arse into quite the humble and decent person, and on top of that, introduced me to some new series (well more so the users than the platform, but you know what I mean).

Binge watched Silicon Valley (season one, I just started) and learnt about dick to floor ratio.

Prior to that binge watched Mr Robot. Cannot remember who suggested that, so I cannot attribute the appropriate gratitude to the appropriate person here.

Add to that that I no longer claim one language to be holy amongst others. Yeah. I was that dick before, we all have a bad side. I'm just admitting it.

I sat down and started utilising other languages, and even found quite a few that did what I wanted more efficiently. Plus I have gotten to meet some sharp people and broaden my own mind.

Fuck I hate my job, but I see a fucking brilliant future for myself thanks to coding and the open mind that I have attained. I attribute this to devRant (perhaps it was lying dormant, but you guys awoke it.).

Enough chitty chat, I'm off to sleep and then code my balls off.

For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".

What's the shittiest IT company you seen ?

I'll tell one i know - it had the shittiest web site I've ever seen, they built Android app that "enables users to pray to God" , a basic shitty app with pictures of Hindu gods and a button labelled "Perform e-pooja" Also the app description said "Share the app with friends and family" to receive free Gods blessing.

Really dude?! How low can you go?...have some basic ethics!

P.S: This company came to our institution with job offers and my teacher asked why i didn't attend their interview.

No thanks, I'd rather start as freelancer and work on building my own company than wasting my life in such retarded company.

SM = Scrum Master

SM: "Card #130, you added a comment saying you aren't going to do update the report?"
Me:"Yea, I explained why in the comment"
SM: "Product owner wants it."
Me: "Product owner isn't the manager using it. I talked with Steve, he said the data is accurate and they have to go to the database anyway to verify the error. That report has no way of knowing the message logged could be a false positive."
SM: "That's not our job to decide. If the Product Owner wants the feature, we add the feature."
Me: "It is absolutely is our job. Steve is the user of the report. I could really care less what the product owner said. The only reason he created the card was because Steve told him a specific error logged could be a false positive, and only happens, maybe, once a month. I'm not wasting my time, Steve's time, or this project's time on wild goose chases."
SM: "I'll schedule a meeting this afternoon to discuss the issue with the product owner. Don't worry, if you can't figure out how to filter out the false positives, I'll assign the ticket to me."

fracking fracking kiss ass. I swear, if he goes behind my back again ....I... deep breath....ahhh...OK..Thanks devrant. Work place incident diverted.

!rant

Im going to boast for a second. I wrote a lockless multi producer c++ thread pool that scales linearly, doesn't eat cpu on no work, and has a proper packaged_task + futures interface. It's fucking awesome, and that is all. Thanks for reading 😎

Got an email in response to an internship application asking "if you can just complete a coding challenge within next 24 hours thanks". They also wanted to me to setup a phone interview today or tomorrow. As if they expected everyone to drop everything with no explanation.

Told them I'm busy but can get started on Sunday, and was told they have assessment centres next week so it can't wait. No real apology.

I didn't set the date for the assessment centre, this is your fuckup. You have to at least feign respect when you ask for a day of my time with less than a week's notice. Been through too many bad interviews to waste my time on a company that doesn't have its shit together and/or doesn't respect interns.

Idk, maybe I overreacted. Thoughts?

Got a call from a recruiter today

Recruiter: I'm trying to fill a full stack position in Charlotte.
Me: not interested
R: why
M: I hate NC
R: what can I do to make you reconsider
M: I want 120k
R: Ok, well please pass this opportunity along if you know someone who is looking

I *actually* just moved from there.
Guess someone didn't read my job history.
Convo was seriously less than a minute.

*at work*

co-worker: what are u doing?

me: programming and learning

co-worker: but school has just started... u guys havent learnt anything yet

me: thats the great thing about programming, everything is already in the internet waiting to be read and learned. try it next time ;)

co-worker: learning out of school, no thanks

“Hey, thanks for accepting my request we have a role you might be interested in.”

Sure, happy to move forward

“Great you just need to a complete a Technical test”

How long is the recommend time?

And I quote:

“It’s entirely up to you how much time you spend on this task. I’ve seen tasks done in 45 mins with minimal effort previously. I’ve also seen others take a week on it. Totally your call”

——

...so you contact me to offer me a role and want me to invest up-to 1 week on a technical when I’ve not even visited your offices. How about no.

I can't tell you how much I hate people who make articles doing relatively simple things, in node, and instead of showing how to do it, they proceed tell you to install a fucking package (usually made by them)

Yeah no thanks, it's great that you figured this out and took the time to "enlighten" other devs but I'll just look at your repo and use the native JavaScript functions you wrapped on myEgoInflatingPagacke.justAWrapperHuehue(). Bye.

2013 Wanted to make games with unity, no prior experience. Failed horribly learning unity script. Nothing made sense.

2014 change in carreer from retail to sysadministration at a local small recycling company ( no prior experience other than being a digital native )

2015 Got bored at work, learned c# with scott lillys tutorials. It clicked!

2016 i enroll in cs at local university. Acing most classes, even got a b on the math module i took. I am 28 now and my life changed a bunch to the good thanks to coding, tech and cs.

“Hey - just calling you to give you an update”

Great - sorry can you refresh my memory what was this for?

“So I was about to put you through for a client but they’re no longer accepting CVs so just to update you that’s not happening”

Sorry, what was the client again?

“Oh I can’t say, but they’re no longer accepting CVs”

“...Thanks, goodbye.”

*So you call me to tell me that you can’t give my details to a client that you can’t disclosure....get off my line 🤬😡🤬*

After lots of interviews and waiting and hard work just got something similar to my dream job.

I am so happy. Thanks for all your success rants they gave me the motivation to keep going when it seems there was no hope.

Remember everyone just keep going, keep trying, keep pushing.

Happy ranting.

This community is amazing. I started developing an app from scratch, with no knowledge of how to do it but this community has helped me so much. I have just started it, been a few days but devRant is what got me into coding in the first place. I was more of a hands-on electronics/mechanical engineering kinda guy but this has been amazing and I might just switch to computer science branch for my engineering. Thanks devRant and the community :)

Sales guy calls up from overseas and complains website we got developed from another vendor is not working.
Being just the middle man who project managed the website development with the offshore vendor, I had no clue what was wrong as the site was working fine and "worksforme" was not going to be acceptable answer for the costumer demo.
Being an embedded drivers guy, had no idea to debug this, except one:
Me: Which browser are you using?
Him: I.E
Me: try any browser other than I.E
Him: it works. Thanks
Boo yeah

- Information -
The RandomQuote Bot is out of order. No more quotes to post...

Skayo, the owner of this bot, is currently working on an alternative to the quotes. Please be patient!

Thanks,
Skayo

Dear people who create frameworks and libraries,

Please don't advertise your stuff as 'super easy to use', 'incredibly lightweight', 'no configuration needed', 'seamless integration' and shit like this. We all know it's a big fat fucking lie. Just be honest and write 'it supposed to be all-purpose but won't solve your problem', 'a huge fucking chaotic mess', 'slow as shit', 'will eat up all your resources', 'might be good but we've lost the documentation' or 'actually worse than vanilla'. If you'd do this, the world would be a better place.

Thanks,

Matryoshkas are better companions than Ducks, and here's why:

-Made with wood. The material of Men! No industrialized rubber to spread Capitalist propaganda

-Multi-layer. Explain your code with different levels of complexity. Babushka Matryoshka is keen on C!

-Never feel alone. Maybe you want some intimate one on one, maybe you want a whole party of helpers, all thanks to pocket dimensions (included with the Matryoshkas).

So what's your excuse for not having a Matryoshka Comrade cyka!

Handed in my vacation for this year. Didn't hear back for a long time, no info at all. Got the new employee assignment spreadsheet for our biggest client, which went out to them. In it, my vacation is pushed behind by 3 weeks.

Thanks, but I didn't want to learn that my vacation has been delayed from THE FRICKIN CLIENT.

Today work at fuck*ng salesforce project. No time to eat. MANA helps. Thanks god

Looks great. That's all now set for my WhatsApp profile pic no more hassle on that. Thanks devRant for the awesome avarter.

To whomever worked on this system before I joined, thanks for spending time peppering the codebase with quotes from "The Emperor's New Groove," it certainly makes debugging this broken radio driver more interesting. But... It would've been nice if you spent that time writing real tests. We're a few weeks from handing this off for environmental testing before launch (real, physical launch - it's a satellite), and the radio suddenly won't respond, and we've got no idea where to start looking.

After 3 interviews with test:
"Ok very good, I see you are good with JavaScript, Php, MySQL and some frameworks, it's exactly what we need because we use only on the edge technologies and we do very cool products."
"Thanks, so what about the first app?"
"App? oh no eheh, now you must manage our 12 wordpress sites and edit the CSS!"
"Very good, so while I see you all goin to fuck monkeys I with to you a nice day"

To all ranters with more than 10 ++ and no avatar: Please take your time and create a damn avatar! I hate seeing only a colored circle. I hope its not only me, but i prefer seeing who's talking (writing). Also, its an awesome feature offered for free. Thanks

So as all of you web developers know. If you are stepping into the world of web development you stepping into a world of unlimited possibilities, opportunities and adventure.

The flip side is that you step into a world of unlimited choices, tools, best practices, tutorials etc.

Since even for a veteran programmer, this is a little overwhelming, I'd like to take the opportunity to ask you guys for advice.

I know that 'there is no best' and that everything 'depends on what you want to achieve'. So how about just say the pro's and cons or when to use and when not to use. Or why you prefer one over another. Everything is allowed! :D

Maybe it will help others too. Start a nice, professional discussion:)

These are the parts I'd like advice about:

- frontend: what frameworks, libraries
- backend: language, framework, good practice
- server: OS, proxy (nginx, Apache, passenger), extra tips (like don't use root user)
- extras: git, GitHub, docker, anything

Thanks in advance everyone willing to help!:)

Also, if you only know frontend or backend. No worries, just tell me about your specialism!

Kinda all other devs translate incompetent with a lack of knowledge

i would go with not able to recognize his lack of knowledge

Story 1:
once we had a developer, whom was given the task to try out a REST/Json API using Java

after a week he presented his solution,
2 Classes with actual code and a micro-framework for parsing and generating JSON

so i asked him, why he didn't use a framework like jackson or gson, while this presentation he felt pretty offended by this question

a couple of weeks later i met him and he was full of thanks for me, because i showed him, that there are frameworks like that, and even said sorry for feeling offended

- no incompentence here -

Story 2:
once i had a lead dev, who was so self-confident, he refactored (for no reason but refactoring itself) half the app and commited without trying to compile/run test

but not only once, but on a regular basis

as you may imagine, he broke the application multiple times and blamed the other devs

- incompentence warning-

Story 3:

once i had a dev, which wanted to stay up with the latest versions of his libraries

npm update && commit without trying to compile/testing multiple times

- incompentence warning-

Story 4:

once i had a cto

* thought email-marketing is cutting edge
* removed test-systems completely to reduce costs
* liked wordpress
* sets vm to sleep without letting anyone know

- i guess incompetent alert -

>Installed a new graphics card (thanks santa <3)
>Boots into Ubuntu
>Try to SSH. No route to device.
>Log in locally. "Failed to start raise network interfaces"
>ok.
>find out that installing graphics card renamed enp2s0 to enp3s0.
>ok.

Remember how CPU speeds stopped mattering after they reached 2GHz? (except for gaming and media editing of course).

I believe Internet speeds have also met that zero marginal utility point at 15Mbps.

I felt no difference when mine went up gradually from 15Mbps to 75Mbps now. (Thanks ACT, India)

I practice stress-debugging.
It means that while I'm debugging and still in the phase where I have lots of ideas about what possibly went wrong (thanks to my loyal diagnostic team of ducks), I intentionally increase my discomfort level, forcing my brain to work faster and solve the issue. I don't drink, eat, or go to the loo no matter how desperately I need to, until the bug is fixed.
My colleagues and managers think I'm insane or a closet masochist but nevertheless, they acknowledge it actually works for me.
How weird is that?

One of my colleagues tried upgrading his Windows 7 laptop to Windows 10... he had multiple issues getting the installer to run but got past it after a couple of hours troubleshooting.

He left for lunch when it got to 81% installed, and got back an hour later to find "Something Happened" proudly displaying on-screen.

He clicked 'okay' and it just started rolling back to Windows 7 with no explanation as to what happened, or even any error codes!

Thanks Windows!
As helpful as always!

TL;DR;

Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...

Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:

Boss: is there any problem with the server?

Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.

Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?

Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.

Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?

Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...

Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.

Boss: OK. Thanks

TL;DR;

Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...

La me working on a new chrome extension:

- ok, this page has some hidden divs, I need to tell the extension to make windows scroll to the bottom while there are still elements with a hidden class
- creates a while(1) loop with a condition inside it to break if no elements with hidden class are longer there.
- happy with the code
- uploads the extension
- goes to page
- brings out developer tools
- goes to console
- clicks on extension on chrome
- right clicks the extension and then inspect
- ok here we go: la me click on button inside extension popup
- console shows some logs
- nice it's still looking.
.
.
.
- wait! Why is the page not scrolling ???
- looks at logs, WTF nothing changes in logs .....
- OMMMMG a infinite loop .... infinite loop inside chrome ....
- OMMMMMG my pc's gonna crash .
-stop please stop stop.
- wait! how do I stop this?
- tries CTRL+C ... nothing
- tries CTRL+Z ... nothing ...
.
.
.
.
Abort abort Aboooooort.
.
.
.
- Deletes extension from chrome.
-..... loop still running
- clicks on X to close Chrome.....
- not closing O_o
- Oh God, i need to do something before Chrome sucks all the RAM left.
- remembers the savior...
.
.
.
- Task Manager heeeelp me.
- opens Task manager
- chrome is consuming ~ 2 GB of RAM.
- WTF! Kills chrome.

Thanks for reading my lil adventure 😅

Many years ago I had a job as web developer at a small promotions company. The owners loved micromanaging their 7 employees, down to the minute. Work started at 9am, if you were even 1 minute late, you were deducted 1 point. (Even if the weather was bad) Once you were at 10 points, you were disciplined by being given an unpaid vacation day. (Thanks for the day off!). At 12 points, you were fired.

It only took me about 8 months before getting my day off. Somehow I was able to time it perfectly to a job interview at a large company.

Luckily I got the job, and purposely was late the next two days so when they told me I was fired I could tell them I already got a new job (thanks to their 10 pt rule) and I'm out anyway.

At the new job, I'd often drive home and nap on my lunch hour. No one would notice if I came back an hour and a half later.

The owners of the 1st company divorced a few years ago. The husband and I have actually kept in contact over the years. He's a cool guy when you don't work for him. He invited me to a Green Day concert over the summer. Probably makes the above story a little less cool, but at the moment, I was burning bridges!

Being honest in an interview:

- What animal would you be?
- No one else. Happy enough as human, thanks. [ sarcasm face ]

I just want to say, I was sceptical to start using linux, and did researxh for about a month and decided on xubuntu as my first linux on my laptop, beacuse it was sleek and fast and no amazon clutter from ubuntu, and it uses apt-get that I already know from my raspberry pi.

I just don't like windows 10, there are many things they changed, and as a coder and a gamer I have seen them all. The crashes, the freezes, the BSODs and just being slow, many times chrome doesn't respond or even task manager stops responding, so I lost my shit and download xubuntu. Windows 7 was amazing, I have been using it since the day it came out and it will always be one of my favourite OSs, but Microsoft lost me now!

After 2 and a half months my experience is amazing, it's fast, it's elegant and looks exactly how I want it. The only time linux ever froze on me was when I tried to open a massive, and when I say massive, I mean gigantic 6mb 12000 line json file in mousepad, since I started opening stuff like that in PyCharm I haven't experienced a crash again.

Thanks for introducing me to linux devrant!!!

Recruiter: how many years of experience do you have?
Me : 4
Recruiter: the client wants someone with a minimum of 5 years
Me : okay then, let me know if anything else is available.
Recruiter: You can change your resume... just add a year.
Me : ???? No thanks
Recruiter: they’ll never know ... you can tell them later
Me : ....

So apparently I can't test my apps on my own device without paying my Apple Developer Certificate.

I knew it is needed to pay for it if you want to publish/distribute your app but c'mon... This is ridiculous.

My app was literally a fresh app creation, a fucking white screen one page fucking app and when I tried to run in on my iPhone, then I ended up having this problem:

dyld: Library not loaded: @rpath/libswiftCore.dylib
Referenced from: /var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/HWorld
Reason: no suitable image found. Did find:
/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib: code signing blocked mmap() of '/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib'
(lldb)

If any of you guys know how to solve it without paying (even more) PLEASE let me know

THANKS

Recruiter: I might have the perfect role for you that will match your salary expectations, they want to send you a technical challenge using Java.
Me: Did you read my CV headline at all?
Recruiter: is Java and Javascript not the same?
Me: Thanks but no thanks.

Woow when you remember those days when there were no weekly rants and now you saw 22 weeks woow and in this time became like person who know how i feel in problem and fuck they can help better then other and best of it they are programmers so they know how hard is it its been awesome with you and i know it will be even better with you. And i think everybody here would say " @dfox @trogus thanks for this community"; devRant is just fucking awesome everybody knows how you feels when you have those fucking bugs in code.

ouuu yeah today arrives my 16Gb sdcard put it in my sdcard work and now PiBook the hardest thing with shitty display from ebay it will be ok but the shity seller send it damaged i get 1/4 refund for not working thick black line ? it has 5 mm shit next mount will get money and i want to invest it to bmx but no i need to buy some old screen from somebody ahhhh bot ok calm down haxk20 its ok you can do it from that display. Ok but when i will buy Bmx and then nothing to invest in i will need to buy a new display fot Pibook for now it will be 7 inch PiBook
Thanks for listening guys

So here goes my first rant...

I was looking for a job as a software developer when I saw one nice company hiring.

I apply to them via their form online. Then they invite me to come to their event during which they will explain everything in details.

I go there (despite the time of the event being uncomfortable for me) and listen to them for a while. Basically, they say they will send the test task to all applicants and see how it goes.

Later same day they email me saying they didn't get my CV via their form and they need me to resend it so they can send the test task. Alright, no big deal, done.

Now today they email me saying "sorry, motherfucker, better luck next time".

What the actual fuck? I spend my fucking time to go to some shitty event saying a test task will decide everything to not even get one.

So, naturally, I go and re-check my email: I definitely did send them my CV;
seems like they ignored the email and eliminated me from the application process for not having my CV, fuckers.

If they will ever in the future invite me to an interview/offer me a job there, I won't take for fucking triple pay.

Thanks for reading and helping me vent my anger, have a nice day:)

FU*** unnamed company..... lets recap.
I went for a job interview at this unnamed company i was acting like me and dress like i normally do, witch is good not extrem like a model but normal OK. like you would see in any company.

Yes maybe i could have got a haircut but you know time...

but not to drift, i when i was myself in the interview and no out of the ordinary things happend....

3 days later they call with feedback and you properly guest it! they did not like my appearance..

Like why? my feedback to them was to think that refusing someone based on there personal statement of looking fucking average JO is not good thing to do. and that it makes them look like big "i am better than you..." jerks....
of course there was more of this so called "feedback".

They also ask if i had any feedback for them... i kindly suggested that they need to invest in training how to not judge people on how they look but on there ability of there work and skill....

pfff.. that gone! alright thanks devrant for this outlet.

Fuck StackOverflows a shit show of support.

I post a question asking what the best practice of achieving a certain function would be, only for it to be down-voted to high hell and marked a duplicate. Yet the duplicates it refers me to have very little to no help on the situation.

And then there’s that one twat who has to edit your post, the most pedantic of changes. Why don’t you actually help!?

Thanks, rant over. Breathe... 💆‍♂️

Finally after a couple of years, we finally finished our game for... Windows phone. When we started the only real choice was to develop in silverlight.

Now silverlight has been discontinued and microsoft released uwp, no real help to convert to uwp (I know mobilize bridge exists, but it is not very good) since many features does not exist yet in uwp :/

But hey that's expected right? But couldn't microsoft at least ensure performance of silverlight apps on win10 mobile??? We have used a lot of time optimizing that the game runs smoothly on crap phones on wp8.1, but highend phones on win10 lags....

Thanks microsoft for taking a change :/

Made an Android app a while ago. I needed some pet project so I decided to go with Java for Android. First time, no experience at all.

So everything went ok, I had a little help from a colleague, structuring code, and pushing to the store. Work done app was doing ok.

A year later I came back to this project. I needed to fix a bug - date time and daylight savings crap. 😥

Spent a week on it. Ready to push a new version to the store, with some extra features! Build apk. All good.

Wait. I need to sign the APK? Wtf. I had to format my hard drive. How do I recover my fucking certificate?

*Google's for a while*

No fucking way. I can't restore the certificate. Or get the keystore back. The solution is to create a new app with a brand new package name?

Thanks for nothing, I'm done with Android development.

Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.

Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.

We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:

"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"

WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?

!rant
Warning : This rant is long and is a rant asking for help and suggestions. If you will read and dont leave any comments, please go search other rants. Thanks.
-----------------------------------
Hi, fellow ranters. In our community, we have a tech class where teens (teens here mean 14yo -15yo) come to learn computer stuffs. Teens here are selected by a test and an interview. There are some teens who are f***ing awesome. One of them are proficient in scratch. (yeah, the orange cat) Another is awesome at PhotoShop, and the other loves windows xp. The teacher uses Microsoft Visual C++ IDE made in the 1990s. The kid sitting to my left made flappy bird with gamemaker. About 10 to 11 teens doesnt know what ctrl+alt+del does in windows and never did programming before... 3 among them always brings coke and oreos and eats super loudly. CRACK! And I bet no one knows about git.
Ok. Enough for the awesome teens. Now what we learn.
We learn C! Yes, C. We learned for, if else, switch and all those stuffs, then learned variables, which made other students who never did programming before be (―,.―).
Next class we will learn about functions in 3 hours. Then array and pointer in 3 hours. Thats it for c programming. Then we do some unnecessary stuffs and time for the finals.
We need to make a project with up to 4 teens as one team. Now I am asking you awesome ranters to suggest some projects for about 4 pros and 16 noobs can do. 10 hours are given in class and we can do in other times by ourselves in home. What should we do? I bet many of them will say to make ascii art in c which is dull and I have no thoughts of doing that.
Any thoughts will be appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
To see my skills, go to my profile page.
| Comments below
v

Didn't go to class on Friday cause some asshole broke into my car. Checked slack for my homework over the weekend before bed and...nothing.

Check slack 2 hours ago... huge project due in 7 hours... wtf slack thanks for no notification and updating my messages late as fuck...

Time to brew some coffee I guess.

So today I was offered a job at the company as a junior frontend developer. Digging a little deeper I found out that they don't have any other frontend devs in house.

So the job offer translated to:
- senior skillset
- senior workload
- junior wage

Best part is that I was freelancing for them in past and was helping to establish some of the workflow a year ago for more money they offered now.

Thanks, no thanks, I guess?

One of the reasons their extensive data collection is becoming annoying for not just the privacy freaks, but everyone is when it starts suggesting me dumb stuff like no thanks I learnt coding by spending two years on messed up projects and wrecked half a dozen servers before I had an idea on how to host a website go feed this zuckershit to some other n00🅱

Just going to combine my rants;

Gotta love when random updates just break everything, the auto tag rename plugin in vscode breaks the css intellisense plugin, after one of them updated sometime recently.

Synergy 2 is such a trash piece of software, its incredible how they are so bold to even demand money for that, they are just abusing the fact that Synergy 1 is so good and popular.

The edge detection is non-existent, theres no settings at all anymore to add dead corners, it never actually acks the receiver so it's forever in the loading state, even though its connected, the mouse is twitchting if it goes from one desktop to another, you have to literally smash your mouse across the room to be able to actually change from one computer to another and the list goes on and on.

On the positive side of it all though, thanks to remembering the existence of browsersync and synergy 1, I now have my 6 monitor setup I wanted for a while, by having 3 monitors and 3 laptops, that especially comes in handy since I am currently doing a ton of cross-platform testing.

!dev

@dfox and @trogus I have to say I'm very impressed with the quality of the stickers I got back in October. They have been enduring near daily use from taking my laptop in and out of my backpack to dealing with my sweaty palms on the keyboard deck. No discoloration at all.

Appreciate you guys and this platform you are cultivating! Thanks again.

Fuck this shitty C ecosystem! Multible compilers, one standard complying, one hacked toghether? Only one GPL poisoned standart library, with no real chance of switching it, which prevents me of making staticly linked programs? And then there is microsofts compiler, with fucking ANSI support. Thanks. No dependency handling. Concurrency? pthreads. Are you fucking kidding. JSON? Have fun finding something static. Compile times where you can read entire books. Segfaults without one helpful info, so you have to debug with prints. And every library, every tool, installer, compiler, stdlib, anything is poisoned by GPL. But hey, its fast. And efficient. After you spend many slow and inefficient months developing something. I am so done with this shit.
Well.

Tommorow i will continue working with C on my backup project.

Did i mention that the stdlib has no features? Not even threading? Which is IN THE STANDARD?

<noRant>
Thanks @devRant for the stickers!
Now I need to find a good spot on my laptop to stick em on.. No idea which layout looks best
<\noRant>

@dfox thanks for the stickers! No better place than on ur works notebook.
Next target the stress ball...

story time:
I use onedrive for sharing some files and shit. So one day one of my folders, which I got from a downloaded zip, caused an error "files couldn't be synced because of unallowed character in the title".
Turns out there was a space at the end of the folder title. I change the name, I get some error.
"Okay, no problem, I don't need that folder anymore anyway" So I delete it, doesn't work, the error message reads "Can't delete folder because it no longer exists.". "What the hell" try deleting it some more. Emptying it before deleting. Deleting the parent folder. I try formatting it before deleting. Nothing works.
Deleting from the online onedrive client causes it to briefly disappears but refreshing places it back right where it came from.

So I resort to my last hope, customer support.
I explain the whole thing.

I get a reply. Oh boy.

I get explained that if the recycle bin is full, the file will be placed back.
After that, I get an explanation on how to remove a file xD

Thanks OneDrive Team, really helpful.

Me: *Showing the "You ! Count" image from devRant to a friend*
Friend: Haha! Nice one!
Me: You should install devRant, the image is from there
Friend: What is devRant?
Me: It's like Twitter, but only for programmers
Friend: No thanks, I don't like Twitter

I have failed you, master!

Yesterday
Me : Hey, I'd like to do a pull request, but there's something that might not help, you think you can help me solving it before I finish that task ?

Worker : *no response at all*

Today
Worker, by mail : Hey could you do a pull request ?

Me : ... 凸(⊙▂⊙✖ ) thanks for answering my question, edgy bitch

Developing a notification API, sends emails to subscribers, email API can take only 100 IDs at once, so partitioned the email list and send mails in blocks of 100.

Forgot to reset the list after every block, so each new partition got appended to the existing list and kept going on.

Ran it against a test DB, which was recently refreshed with near-prod data !!! Thousands of emails went out of the app server in one shot and everybody receiving numerous duplicate emails. Especially the ones in the very first partition.

Got an incident raised by the CEO himself reg the flurry of emails. But, things were out of our hands, quite literally. All emails are queued up in the exchange server.

Called up the exchange server team, purged​ the queued emails. No other emails were sent/received during this whole episode.

Thanks to Iterables.partition in the present day.

A course at university made us program a chat server and client with Java RPC (in the days where there was no such thing as stack overflow), without ever teaching us anything about coding.

The grading was based on unit tests executed on a Server the university provided.
The server was down or overloaded most of the time and one could only try to deploy at most 3 times...
There were heuristics in place to find duplicate solutions.

... I have to say, that course took me from "hello world" to developer within a couple of months. Thanks assholes!! :D

Caller: Hi, I work with Google. Can I talk to the decision maker of [your company]?
Me: I am. (Ho, my god, this is finally happening, I'm the chosen one!)
Caller: Would you like to improve your visibility on Google by ...
Me cutting short: Thanks but I'm not interested.
*Click*
To myself: Raaah, me too I work "with" Google!

(no my phone doesn't do *click*, it does *bee doooom*, but well)

// 2011-05-13 - no idea why we're doing this, revise later

Wow thanks, take your time.

First rant incoming!

I love when bizDEV people who are clearly not technical try to be technical. I mean I get when you want to try and understand something and I am totally down for letting you in on why we (the engineers) decided to do something a certain way. When you then go and tell us “no” and give the reason of “because I said so” it really doesn’t still well. Then you wonder why we don’t want to talk to you about anything? I mean it doesn’t take a genius to figure out you know nothing about anything we are doing but sure, why don’t we just go along with your plan because you are totally omniscient.

Then he decided that he wants to be in all the “idea” discussions... I really don’t understand because my ideas are not scheduled and I am not going to set up a meeting and write them down for later so you can feel needed and important.

This project had such a good chance of becoming something great but I have a bad feeling it’s going to fail now because non technical people are in charge of technical decisions.

End of rant, thanks for listening.

I'm getting addicted to collectables.
New one is the storm trooper. Me no like rubber ducks.
Thanks china... Would never pay 30 dollars for a doll :p

You know it is gonna be "fun" integrating client APIs, when all of them respond with
"Thanks for submitting the request"
And no error or status code whatsoever, no matter what you send.

Also, the client likes to test/call this API in Internet explorer address bar, and doesn't trust Postman. Amazing shit dude.

I'm using my devrant avatar for some UI testing :P , thanks @trogus and @dfox
(no production and plagiarism intended)

So it's 2018 and i am wondering is there a:

Laptop with at least 16go of ram that can last AT LEAST 24 hours ?

Tasks involved:
Running vms
Ide
Browser

Work related stuff

No Apple products please

Thanks!

Ps: i already got a couple of laptops so i am not in a hurry i am more looking for something that i can carry around while traveling in a lightweight manner

On a programming lab the professor told us to use gedit to write our code because "it's easy to use"
No, thanks
*Installs a few plugins and uses vim instead*
Now *that's* what I call easy 😎

Man I'm having coding cancer today. Working on old shit made by previous people. I'll make this example generic as it's from my workplace but..

There's a function that is called isFriend(), you would expect to return true if that is the case or false otherwise right?..

WRONG. There is a tenary statement within it that essentially translates to:
if (jobRole != "friend") return true else return false;

What the fuck.

So how does he rectify this? He flips the output everywhere he used the isFriend statement by putting '!'. No comment to indicate how he patched the fuck up (JUST FIX THE FUCKING PROBLEM YOU FUCKNUT); so when looking at this code I saw:

if (!isFriend()) { do not friend code }

He has wrote:

if (!isFriend()) { do friend code }

Thanks for wasting my time asshole.. many tidbits like this I've found..

GIT COMMMIT LOG VERSION 011
-------------------------
4cc7d0d Derp, asset redirection in dev mode
6b6e213 Lock S-foils in attack position
1e44549 I am even stupider than I thought
2f6bec9 You should have trusted me.
891851a To those I leave behind, good luck!
3367d77 Update .gitignore
46d6b0f Merging the merge
b12f6fe First Blood
0598e4f 8==========D
9151ff4 Finished fondling.
3a0ec1e ...
8358c20 c&p fail
bc1e834 magic, have no clue but it works
31bb17a I don't get paid enough for this shit.
21edb91 :(:(
7a71610 Stephen rebase plx?
2060661 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
21ac5d2 Handled a particular error.
2dedd90 pam anderson is going to love me.
c3d4c83 omg what have I done?
d38bafd Herping the derp derp (silly scoping error)
e461773 Merge pull request #67 from Lazersmoke/fix-andys-shit Fix andys shit
1faf82b Is there an award for this?
1f6e3f3 Feed. You. Stuff. No time.
6f0097d I'm too old for this shit!
133179e I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
d3e5202 harharhar
57d9a7c THE MEM TEST FUNCTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, IS HERE. SAY THANKS FOR THIS COMMIT MESSAGE

Swift 1 and 2 were really pain in the ass!! You had to write God damn completed word of each statement. Eg : "presentViewController" is now "present" in Swift 3. Or that fucking "NS" in every object :)))
Thanks God! Thanks Apple! No more bull shit keyword!

I hate to hate. Wow that’s a paradox. But Windows—why? Why must you have he volume be 2-3x louder every time I unpause a YouTube video. Then I have to adjust the volume to have it reset to what it was before.

I try to give every operating system an equal chance, but EVERY TIME I PAUSE A VIDEO? Not to mention you also updated *some* driver, in which I am very unaware of, while I was watching a video. Then Firefox crapped itself for no reason.

Please, stop it.

Thanks,
User.

Thanks for the reminder, wk17. To get unstuck: *pomodore*. Set a timer for 30 to 45 minutes, under which you are only allowed to concentrate on a single thing. No email, no looking up why your editor doesn't find declarations, no tuning of the red color of your terminal that is to bright, no compulsively opening devRant.
Time's up, do whatever for 5 to 10 minutes, and repeat.

What was supposed to be an inoffensive shutdown during the weekend for maintenance became a nightmare today. The storage went to the space thanks to a system admin who was supposed to know what is doing. Since there is no power button I just pulled the power cord, he said.

Apparently the windows 10 anniversary update did "something" to my laptop today.
Keyboard stopped taking input at a random moment a few hours after the update. I shut it down, and it's stuck while shutting down. Pressing the power button has no effect, and the battery is non replaceable (except with a screwdriver and unplugging a cable, which I don't want to do while there is still power running through the system)

Guess I'll just leave it unplugged and hope for the battery to die.
Thanks you Windows 10, thank you Dell P57F002.

New years resolution: no more tech support period. No one appreciates it and if anything breaks in the future youre expected to fix it. Lol, no thanks