Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.

Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"

Debugging:

Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.

Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.

Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".

*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*

App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?

Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.

Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*

Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?

Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.

Mam: but why was it opened there?

Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*

If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.

I am suspicious of one thing though.

Mam: what's that?

Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.

Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.

Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.

Internet Explorer:
You type a local IP without the protocol.
It doesn't add http automatically.
It doesn't add https automatically.
IT TRIES TO SEARCH IT ON BING

I freaking hate IE

Few months ago I made an app for my buddy. Because it was simple soundboard app (it literally took me 15 minutes) I haven’t took any money. He said it’s for personal use only...

So he released it under his name on Google Play Store... And now he asks me to add advertisements... For free... When I asked him what can I get from it, he said “you can add your name to Credits”

That’s how you loose trust and buddies!

An average day:

1. Start working on feature
2. Finish feature
3. Feature doesn't work
4. Spend 7 hours refactoring and fixing imaginary bugs
5. Add the 3 characters that were missing
6. Laugh and cry, laugh and cry...

Coding essentially is an infinite loop of:
1) wtf
2) ah yea

Add sprinkles of "that should be easy" and "why did i agree on this"

Pretty useful error message

When trying to add comment on a rant.

@dfox I would love if you guys added some flags for users use on profile showing our nationality, like "Apple, Windows or Linux". And if that's not possible, at least add some fictional flags like Portugal, U.K., Italy.

What do you think?

Which asshole designer and stupid website owners decide to embed 110 trackers on a single page!!
I mean sure some ads add their own trackers....but THIS is beyond shit
R.I.P Privacy

Seems my add-on is a little haywire, or Firefox is just at it again.

Had a laugh nonetheless.

enabling firewall on a vps to secure my docker containers and forgetting to add openssh to allowed list --> ssh blocked 😃🔫

There is special place in hell for developers who make add-on for Internet Explorer and Edge.

This was my day at work today
-Be me at work
-Use git terminal on WORK PROVIDED MacBook
-Decide to clone into a repo into another repo as it was one project inside another project
-Makes changes to code
-Attempts to add .
- warning: adding embedded git repo ...
-Apparently needs submodules
-Shit doesn't get added
-During this get asked to create 2 new branches and modify some code
-Do that specifying files to add as add . breaks everything
-Has 3 branches now detached from master
-Super confused where anything is and what's going on
-Go back to branch for other repo to get added to
-Spends 30 minutes trying to understand submodules
-Gives up and deletes folder moving it elsewhere
-Commits begin failing everywhere. Super confused.
-Get everything figured out and commiting
-Goto merge all branches to master
-Merge conflict with .DS_Store
-FML

I think I'm done guys

Job Ad: You will report to leadership stakeholders on key progress initiatives and collaborate on business value add action objectives.

Translation: Have boss. Do task.

In this day and age, what's my fucking excuse for not using a vpn full-time on my phone as well (next to my laptop)?

I do way more personal stuff on my phone anyways and add to that that I've got access to at least three self managed VPN servers...

Yup, going full VPN from now on.

Stupid annoying client want me to add 2 new fields on a form. Ok I said, my estimation is that I need 2 days to make the changes on form, database and all the scripts that posting and getting data, plus testing. His reply was, come one do you really want 48 hours to just add 2 fields, its sooo easy!!!! WTF dude... if it is sooo easy why are you fucking bother me??? Do it your self!!!!

A single fucking CSS SELECTOR has over 12000 characters !!!!

JUST THE SELECTOR !!!

Just to add `color: #ffc311;` to a bunch of fucking elements !!!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK !!!

Why not create a fucking class like `color--orange` and add that on all the elements you need to have that color, at least !!

THIS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE !!!

"Please add a feature to check the user's internet connection before the application starts."
-- THIS IS A GOD DAMN WEB APPLICATION, YOU DUMB MORONS! Maybe I should add a feature next that checks for the user's computer being turned on or what? How about making sure the application isn't run when the power is out?!
Jesus fuck.

Never, ever, ever, release on a Friday. But.....
if you do.
Add this step as part of your production push process.

May be when the first human is born on Mars, we'll have to add "Planet of Birth" to our passports.😂

I opened a tutorial in youtube about web development , suddenly enter wix add
"You need a website why not do it yourself"
Me: no shit thats my job to work on a website but not on wix

This is my computer workstation.

The computer has 8 GB of DDR3 RAM, a Radeon R5 graphics card and soon I will add an SSD hard disk on which I will install the operating systems.

Don't want to break your commit streak on Github.
So you change one line and :-
git add .
git commit -m "Minor Tweak"
git push

VOILA ! the box is green for today . *Evil Smile*

Marketing once asked if we can add functionality to the site that would disable the back and close button on a browser...yeah

There are two types of people on DevRant:

Those who add tags
and
those who give a fuck about them.

How to make Xcode crash:
1. type: self.btn
2. Profit!

I need to add this on my CV as an expert in making xcode crash, not implying that Xcode is a shit IDE !!

Oh my dear DevRant, please add code-formatting standards & check-style validation on submitted code snippets, because the wrong indentations of code snippet posts on DevRant is driving me crazy, check-style ftw!

Just visited a mattress store & I sat in car with YouTube on. Got an add for some new technologied pillows.

Felt like I was being followed..

Can you add a feature so we can download images that our customers have uploaded?

Yeah sure I can see that being a really handy feature, but until I have the time to add a button would you try right clicking on the picture and using the option "Save image...." 🤔

I did it ma! I installed Arch Linux! On a pendrive!! First try too! Now I just have to slowly add things I need and configure it slowly.. Goodbye weekend :')

Was a co-lead on the first project to add image recognition to ATMs for depositing checks. Turns out, it was a pretty OK idea and people liked it.

How to avoid haters on Stackoverflow:
1. Add this before your code: "Try the following:"
2. Profit!

Exact same code, but one is hated

Ops person: “Hey! Can you come fix this? I‘m trying to add a user and it keeps giving me an error saying that the phone number must be unique. What’s the ETA on a fix?”

Me: 😓

*Extreme security measures on the backend, it must be failsafe, every db is as redundant as possible, generated salt, 2fa, everything*

*Forgets to add a case for {"key":""}*

I would blame it on the team but i built the entire backend myself.

!rant
finally i finished a project and released my first game in google play!
very satisfaction, much wow.
now creating a list of features i will add in future updates, working on a marketing campaign and building concepts for future projects.

Was checking my gitlab account and that Vue add-on turned green, never knew Gitlab uses Vue

Coworker: We you have to estimate these tasks.
Me (thinking): This task should take one day, but I'll add 4 hours in case something unexpected happens again.
* Estimates 12h
Coworker: Alright, the tasks for this sprint have been selected. Please start to work on them.
Me: * Starts working on certain task
* Sees time available for task
2d 4h (=20h)
* Writes coworker
Dude, that much time is overkill for that task!
Coworker: Yeah, the client said something similar.
Me: Then why did you estimate it that high?
Coworker: 🤷‍♂️
Me: Ok, what am I gonna do with all that extra time? 😑
Coworker: 🤷‍♂️

Thanks mate.
Around 4 hours in and almost done. What should I do with that extra time?

Task in question: Add a mutually exclusive field to a database table, add it to the form, test it and update the docs.

Enjoy the unrelated, clickbait cat

Add random console.logs which end up filling the console on Production

Friday 4:59pm
PM: hey, we need to add this new feature to the project.
Me: no problem, I'll take a look on Monday.

Monday 8:01am
PM: how's that new task coming along?
Me: 😩

Please add option to share results on Facebook. I worked on a grading software for teachers. Do they want to share "I just failed a student. Come and join me on (link)!"??

F@#$% ANDROID STUDIO! You should definitely add a feature of giving a Pop-up window asking if the user REALLY WANTS TO OPEN THE SOFTWARE OR NOT!
You should see my face when I click on android studio icon by accident 😩 on my Windows...

We (as new hires) had to add a fallback logic for input validation on every input element using only JSP and Spring controllers just because the client still uses IE6 and fucking disables Javascript!!

The hell, why'd I write an add-on for a system I don't know as well while I could just implement a PHP version easily!?

Even if it is just to fucking prove that this can easily be done in PHP!

Every devs must add some shit on display. That’s mine. What’s yours?

PSA:

Just started using Firefox nightly. It has an add on called "super dark mode" that automatically converts ANY site you visit to a dark theme.

#How the fuck did I use Chrome till now.

Depends on who you ask. Here's a list:
• Computer addict
• "Hey can you add a feature to this device you don't know anything about and its Android app too?"
• Someone who writes software, duh

this code is messy .. it has to be refactored..

abstact those classes to commom interfaces .. create a base class for all those common classes .. make this a parameter, make that a setting.. generalize this, pass a behaviour to that.. separate responsobilities..

hmm .. need to handle that special case .. let's just add a temp method for now to get it compiling .. //todo this later .. maybe add a couple virtual bools to handle the base class behaviour

238 compilation errors! .. let's do a static var for now on this.. and just add this for backward compatibility .. maybe hardcode that dll name, I know it'll NEVER change..

aah finally, all compiles..

oh..

this code is messy .. it has to be refactored..

Great. Just FUCKING great. When I was looking at devrant, suddenly some add-ons crashed (correction: ALL add-ons crashed!). All other tabs flooded with ads. I go to the add-ons manager, and what is their SHITTY excuse?
"Starting in Firefox version 57, only extensions built using WebExtensions APIs will work. Not sure if your add-ons are affected? See Firefox add-on technology is modernizing and these Frequently Asked Questions for details."
Anyone of you fuckwits ever heard of LEGACY SUPPORT? Leaving some time so the other devs can adapt to your new brainfart technology?! Even fucking C++ has that. FUCK!
Thank god devrant doesn't have ads.

I have many stickers on my laptop, need some more to complete the selection. Would love to see devRant on here! Help me reach the goal? Suggestions as to what else to add?

Damn Apple. These stupid certificates. I only want to send notifications. On Android I have to add one API key. And you Apple? Struggeling to get ionic push working for 6 hours...

New ticket: Add Feature
description: (will be updated)

Last famous words before the creator went on vacation until app release

So I had to partition my mac and add windows on it for an assignment... I feel so dirty!!!

!dev
What the...
Please add more lines. I'm sure I can read this on the fly...
Wait.
This is outside of the piano spectrum. What the fk
(Yes, bass key)

It seems like there are more lower-quality or duplicate comments on rants these days.

Please, save me some time and show a little respect for members of the community by ++ the comment you agree with instead of adding a nearly identical comment and tagging the commenter.

Additionally, comments like '@commenter 😂' when the great comment is still at +0 generally don't add to the discussion and should probably be downvoted.

Comment if you think you can add something, not just because you saw it.

I have finally started to work on my personal site, just made the best photo for the background in my opinion

Any tips of what I should add or remove on the photo and any tips of what sections to add on the website

Can I add user to ignore list so his rant doesn’t show up on my feed?

Let's make a WPF apllication... They said.
Let's add a ScrollViewer... They said.
Let's put a DataGrid inside the ScrollViewer... They said.
Let's disable scrollwheel on the DataGrid... They said.
Let's add a UserControl to a ColumnTemplate in the DataGrid... They said.
Let'a put a ComboBox with a custom template inside the UserControl... They said.

Now let's hope nobody tries to use the scrollwheel on the ComboBox.

Now I have to convince somebody that it's pretty much impossible to enable scrollwheel on the ComboBox.

Life cycle of code

1- See what sound code I have written! It's beautiful.

2 - Hey we missed something last time, just add this bit of tweak.

3 - We need to add some flags for some exception cases

4 - Hey there is a new requirement. Just add some more paths and more flags

5 - More flags!

6 - This shit runs now more on flags than on the design!

7 - Flagception!

Worked on optimizing the Firefox add-on I'm writing yesterday evening, was about to go to bed and packaged/installed it onto my normal Firefox (not Firefox for developers).

It worked perfectly fine on the developer version: hardly anything happens on the normal Firefox version and I took all debugging console.log's out 😬

Fuck me. Going to try to fix this shit tonight but damn.

Please add face masks and hand sanitizer and toilet rolls on the table for the avatars😆😷🧻🧤

I have been using Linux based system from so long but last week I was building outlook add-on using Visual studio. It was a nightmare to work on visual studio(Or any IDE in Windows) after working for a long time on Linux/UNIX based systems. So much of mouse clicks, worst console experience, etc. Windows is definitely not for developers.

Clients that add you on Facebook and start asking at 3 AM how their project is going.

No this is my personal life, how about you get lost and call or email me during working hours.

When people think you're addicted to gaming, but you're just really keen on developing that next feature. People just don't understand the underappreciated life of an add-on developer. We're shit on by the game developer, and users alike.

Life could have been way better if God has used some version control system and let individual take care of their life.

git revert l@$tHaPP¥d@¥

Or

git reset --hard beginningOfLife

So, I got a ticket to make a page using a given wireframe that had submit buttons and other buttons to add more items in the wireframe.

So, I pull the html, hook up the abilty to submit the form and add items, and send it out for review.

One comment on the review.

"Remove the functionality, you'll handle it in the next ticket"

So I commented out the javascript. Guess what I'm doing on the next 10 minutes.

I think a "follow" or "add friend" feature here on devRant might be good (+direct messaging) 😆

*on phone*
Friend: I want to add 100 contacts to gmail how do I do that?
Me: Add those in excel sheet and import it in gmail

*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I deleted something in excel. How do I get it back
Me: Ctrl Z

*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I added contacts to excel and emailed to you. Can you email me contacts so that I'll add to my gmail?
Me; I don't have these powers. You have to import in gmail.

*after 5 mins another call*
Friend: I uploaded contacts but I want it in on my iPhone
Me: Add gmail account to your iPhone. It will sync contacts.
Friend: I know we can do it on Android but is it possible on iPhone bcz Gmail is of Google right?

*hang up*

Me: Write a small descriptive paragraph on the changes made to files and what needs to be worked on.

Team: “Add function 🙂” *10+ files changed*

Trying to add Google oauth to an old app on a client's request. God I hate past me.

Baaaahhhhh!!! I just stepped on my UPS power button and killed my machine after spending considerable time working out the plan for a new tool to add to our system.

Got the question “How do I set a profile picture on Skype?”

1. Who the f*** uses skype today??
2. He calls himself a developer...
3. I was surprised he didn’t ask how to send add contacts in skype

Today i got to add this to my code:
"Shame on you pirate! A subscription only cost 2 cups of coffee; what are we supposed to drink now?"

Having a bit of fun with the finishing touches of my personal project :D

Add more RAM. Computer won't turn on, reseting CMOS from motherboard jumper, everything works fine.
Feelings satisfied and everyone is in shock from the "jumper" method.

Now that I have a ++, I changed my BG Color so that it looks nice but I think we need a full color picker now.

BTW @dfox any ++ privileges on this? Maybe you could add my Drafts feature 😉😏

>site is production ready
>client requests new feature by end of week
>add feature and then site breaks on last day of week
>client freaks out even though we warned this is what happens when you add new features DURING LAUNCH WEEK

Not sure why Firefox is taking too much resources. It's just one tab with gmail login page. And only one add-on is active (AdBlock Plus). Guess it's time to switch to chrome.

So, first a bit of background:

We've got a parent class, owned by another team, and two child classes, owned by my team. One of the children is unused. (Already sounds bullshit right.)

On to the story:
6 months ago, I had to modify one of the children (add new functionality).

I try to modify the base class to add it, the senior dev in charge says "no, just add it on the child". So I do, then merge it in.

Yesterday I wake up to a high priority bug. Turns out the senior guy wants to add another child class, and wants the functionality I put in my class on the base class.

Even commented on my PR from 6 months ago asking why I didn't do that.

The fucker opened up a high priority issue assigned to me, asking ME TO DO THE CHANGE I WANTED TO DO 6 MONTHS AGO THAT HE SAID NO TO.

Fuck this shit. I have a meeting with him and my boss in an hour. My boss is pissed, I hope he tells the other guy to go fuxk himself and do the change himself.

If you're going to add unnecessary white space to code, at least keep it consistent. And by consistent, I mean learn to write code that doesn't look like you pair programmed with a toddler who had a hour long tantrum on the damn spacebar.

People who don't ++ OPs, nor comments or add anything of value on social media / thread.

Please.
What is your purpose but self projection?

Android Oreo went to the light side.

Why would they do that?

The dark side is much more fun 👹

I hope they add an option later on....

this is cool, I just added a phone and a coffee on my avatar. I can add more thongs but I like t keep it minimal and clean

My boss had a 50 page word document where he add any bugs he has found (he likes to test before it goes to QA) we then have to read that document for any changes (hi-lighted in blue) then add them to our bug tracking system. Any updates that are made on the ticket we have to add to the word document.

We tried letting him use our bug tracking tool but he hated using it as the padding on the navigation links was too big. We would have to redesign the 3rd party tool just for him

Sitting here looking at the shit spaghetti I wrote yesterday (that works) and wondering if it'd be easier to add more spaghetti for the feature I need to add or "do the right thing" and fix 1800 lines before I move on...

New job: Asked my manager if i can add documentation for the code/project.
Manager: it's completely useless to use hours on documentation. If you don't understand any thing just ask around. It saves time. Just use descriptive variables and method names.
Me: :|

I hope we are allow to add corona virus survivor as a skill on resume.

Found this on prod

Don't know who did this but wwhhhyyyy do you need to add foreach loop😅

Just add directly

My friends have a group on telegram named geek squad but they haven't add me cause apparently I'm not geek enough:/
It hurt my feelings:/
But screw them I'll be a geek on my own time.

I just finished running my first Arduino program, I am perfectly able to switch the led on and off.
Should I add it to the CV!!!
Or should I build the whole traffic light three leds first?!?
I am confused....

lol I just saw Devrant Wordpress plugin to integrate on website. As per my experience many people here do bitching about things. Why would anyone wants to add those on website

@dfox Feature request 😋, a way to add to favorites on web app.

Taking advice from devRant and just working on some documentation for hacktoberfest. Well until I can find a project that I want to add code to

Working on the front-end of my portfolio project and I'm trying to keep simplicity in mind. Apparently, I have a bad habit of trying to add more and more features xD I have to stop myself.

Why the f*** do people add their BD on LinkedIn??? Who wants to know when a f**** recruiter gets another year older??? If I am close to you I will know or have you on FB.... WTF, who anyway had the idea that would be a good feature to add???

The W3C HTML validator just told me to add a lang attribute to the <html> tag on my website. Apparently it didn't notice, that the <html> tag was missing.

You can now group projects in Android Studio and even add icon to them.

Right Click on Project -> New Project Group
Right Click on the Project -> Move to Group

devRant avatar builder should have an option to add on some belly fats ...

So the infra folks finally considers OpenStack after doing their own thing that is prone to breaking whenever they add new stuff on the IaaS

ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Love it when PM/business adds a bunch of extra tickets on the last week of a 3 week spring.

Or

I love it when business sends you a requirement, you build it, then they add more requirements that contradict the original requirements

WTF with all this full screen popup to promote a mobile app on so many perfectly functional mobile/responsive websites. If I'm the developer of that mobile website and asked to add that kind of popup to my work, I'd be offended.

I'm finally making some visible progress on my Unity mobile game called "it goes number in the night!" gotta add a scoring system then I'll have a playable demo.

business: could you just add this small button? it's nothing right?
my thoughts: why... why do we keep on having this conversation???

@dfox feature request, as part of the menu links in a rant, if you could add open in web version.

Why?
Sometimes links aren't clickable on my devrant version (using latest Android version am on Lollipop 😧)
Sometimes really large images don't load

So I usually copy link then paste in my browser

Tip: If you procrastinate too much on youtube the css selector to hide (using your favourite browser add-on) is #related

Microsoft will add Ubuntu to its windows store, which will help installers to use linux tools on top of its system. Fuck you Microsoft, fuck you.

When I'm reviewing code that I'm soon to be working on, I like to add comments to document things that aren't self-documenting.

When I encounter something I have no fucking idea about, I usually add:

// NFI

It's my "safe for work" way to indicate that I literally have no fucking idea what they were attempting.

So I'm curious, does anyone have their own comment "codes" that are safe for commits, but translate into something more awesome?

I'm a young dev with ADD. Basically I just need to stay up late, and then get myself to hyperfocus on my code. It typically gets done in time to get a decent night's sleep.

Fucking garbage piece of shit microsoft httpclient

identical request works in node!

identical request works in postman!

but noooooooo httpclient, you have to add the content length on the content itself, can't add authorization header except through special way, serialization is wrong bunch of shit pile of shit no working shit

I wanted to add a simple gallery for our website.
I started browsing open source alternatives.
Result: "Depens on jquery, depends on node, depends on bla bla bla... Fuck it... I'l just make one myself."

Every time I search for some CSS or Javascript feature the first three or four results are always from w3schools. I want MDN! Any good tricks or sites that does not involve searching directly on MDN? Some Google filter add-on perhaps?

How many devranters have you followed on here? I add a few every day... Must be at like 300 or so by now. I

It would be a 1000 if I could follow on desktop version. Love hearing from you all.

And I don't usually say that shit to people.

Completed a project in summer for a client based on Laravel and kept working on other projects based on same framework. Today went back to add some functionality ended up feeling miserable looking at my own code. Don't know how to feel about this.

The principal developer who wrote one of our APIs is on annual leave, there's no documentation.

It's in another language.

Add some points into scrumwise for 'Deciphering hieroglyphics'!

NodeJS C++ add-on is one of the best and worst thing ever to exist in NodeJS.

Writing a native add-on is such a fucking pain. It's full of inconsistent API. They are trying to fix that by the introduction of N-API. But that shit is still in experimental mode.

I want to use nan but I know that that is also going to be deprecated once the N-API gets stable.

fml

You know you didn't ignore node_modules when 'git add' takes more time than 'git push' on a 3G

Just realized, contact form messages for my Firefox add-on is probably the closest I'll ever get to fan mail...

So, it's too hot, but I'm still quite caffeine dependent so: Espresso on the rocks (add milk and ice coffee mix if you so desire)

Any otaku devs here? How do you add your otaku touch on your dev environments?

Why do people have the need to add emojis in commit messages on github?

Maybe you already know it and I’m just retarded.. but if not, try out kodi + Exodus add-on👌

Most comfortable streaming I’ve ever experienced.

(Here in my country streaming is completely legal so no hate please:))

just signed up on linkedin
added all my precious twitter followers who molested me with auto-dm's to add them on linkedin too
now I'm banned for adding people I don't know...

when instead of coding one spends far too much time on expanding the syntax highlighting for better readability...
I mean, yeah it took me like 2h, but now I have a vague idea on how to quickly add things which improve readability for me.
emacs config ftw.

Devs: How should we design the UI?
Design & Marketing: We were thinking something like the Ferrari website (or app that has nothing to do with our industry)

Devs: How about we add <feature that all of our competitors have>? We're falling quite behind on that and its hindering us from connecting with their REST API.
Marketing: Nah that's too complicated, and our customers haven't requested it. How about we add some animal animations over there instead?

What in the actual fuck GitHub?!

Why can't I edit a file direct on the web UI? I was able to this morning! If I can't edit against master then why the fuck is the icon there?!

Also, why did you add the unnecessary step of "add tag" when I am fucking CLEARLY adding a new fucking tag.

Comments belong here on devRant, not in your code!

Code cleanly folks.

“Good code is its own best documentation. As you’re about to add a comment, ask yourself, ‘How can I improve the code so that this comment isn’t needed?'”
– Steve McConnell 

installing vs2015 required running one installer. Uninstalling vs2015 requires spending an hour+ manually uninstalling every stupid add-on and supplementary program that was added by that one installer.

There was a "Snake" game on an old windows machine that came with the source code. I was able to tweak the code enough to add interesting twists to the game. From then on I was hooked.

@dfox

Can you please add a landscape mode? . i want to be able to use devrant on a flipped phonu

Why the fuck don’t people add their job titles on Slack!!! You’ll get a random message or bug report and you’ll have to go back to Bamboo Hr to know what team the idiot work in.

Me : So cool ! My new graphQL APIs are working so good !
Also me : ‘order by <text field> take 50 skip 10000’
Me : Hmmmm.. 2.3 SEDCONDS ?! WTF. Let’s add an index !
SQL : Sorry bro, can’t add index on nvrachar(max).
Me: OK. Here you go, you are nvrachar(128) now. Add my index !
SQL : Ok
GraphQl :<same query > Here : 90 milliseconds
Me : ‘order by <text field> desc take 50 skip 10000’
GraphQL : Sorry bro : 3 seconds. (Yes, slower than without any index)
Me : Do I fu7cking need to manually add ASC and DESC indexes ? WTF IS GOING ON !
I should’ve learnt a bit more about databases. ☹. And now I don’t have time to refactor a prod database as “needed” .
/me needs to buy DB audit. Company is still a bit small to have a DBA full time.

My company wants me to add new features to their existing cappy system when I'm on my notice period...

Why did it take years before someone told me to add this to your bash script to see the line on which a command failed?

errorOnLine() { echo "Line $1 had an error" ; exit 1 ; }
trap 'errorOnLine $LINENO' ERR

i am fed up with this code, when will people learn to add comments on code👿👿

@dfox please add a option for not getting these "comments on a ront you commented on" notifs, they are annoping af

Client: Can you put all the add on products we sell into the MDSL (Master Daily Sales Log)

Why aren't you adding them to the new console system? It allows you to add them and tracks all actions on the sale.

Client: The Health Agents don't know how to do that, and I think the manger hasn't added them into the system....yup he didn't add them.

Me: So how are you tracking the addon products you are selling?

Client: I don't know. Can you just add them to the MDSL.

Me: I wrote the console system to replace the MDSL, why are you using the spaghetti code system I wrote 8 years ago?

Client: They like it better because of this one report they use.

Me: I rewrote that report for the new system and it even gives more info.

Client: But the owner doesn't trust it, because it shows conversions and sales instead of just sales.

Me: ...

When I have exams, I start to notice how much more functionalities I can add to my web application that I didn't "work on" since the last exams! 😑

Wordpress: add content beneath the loop on category/archive pages. WHY IS THIS NOT JUST A PART OF ALL THEMES AT THIS POINT???

@dfox could you please add a widget (best is 1x4) for showing rants on dextop?

Trying to port a legacy Firefox add-on I didn't write to WebExtension. Failing so amazingly...

Vague explanations, no tutorials. Mdn has a nice documentation but no tutorials. What's up with that??

Also, JavaScript. And stuff I didn't write. Just perfect. 😑😑😑

Readme.md
*Todo: Add description*

>103 commits
>Last commit: a year ago
>Last commit on readme: 5 years ago

Slothful cunt, you don't deserve these 7 stars

Boss wanted our AES implemented to use an Initialization Vector. I changed the implementation to add an IV and all the tests passed on the first try!

I changed the implementation to fail just to make sure I wasn't getting false positives.

ah yes. have to add the permission for literally any specific endpoint on AWS for my root user... love it

The long talk about the site's design and updating it according to the recent events...
Turned out the client wanted to add the snowflakes on the site.

My manager committed an empty Jenkinsfile on his project (he loves committing empty files or docs with words "TODO" in them). I decided to add the project to Jenkins so at least he sees a red X and failed build on ever branch .... green check? An empty Jenkinsfile is a valid Jenkinsfile?! Damn it Jenkins!

Only 1 Redbull on your avatar desk is inaccurate. Please add a desk item for your avatar that has multiple Redbulls.

Please.

Justifying a need for a hardware upgrade on servers is a daunting task 😰😰

B.U.s wants faster systems. Devs suggest hardware upgrade.
I.T heads does not want to add cost.
WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Hey, privacy guys, I've recently decided to switch to DDG, and I just came across this DDG browser addon. It promises things like
"block all the hidden trackers", which is what AdBlock can also do, "force sites to use an encrypted connection", which makes no sense since most websites using https will redirect to https automatically, "Search Privately", which is already supported by them without installing the add-on, and "Decode Privacy Policies" which is the only feature that seems to be useful. Should I use it?

So do these (+/- 10ms) add or are they a universal “+/- 10ms from the actual time on stratum 0?”

People who dont update their tutorials. Things get deprecated every few months and the least they could do is add a description on how to do the task in newer versions.

Daily life on this project: tickets are blocked by test env. Fucking impressive server ops team we have here, took a month to add 1 test user.

That moment when: You're asked to quickly code a fake login screen and you have a deadline to add it to 10 devices before 2pm.

First build: Forgot to force it to be on top, forgot to add closing preventions

Second build: Due to it going on tablets, it needed an onscreen keyboard, but being on top all the time means the builtin onscreen keyboard doesn't work.

Third build: Forgot to add try and catch exceptions which caused crashes

Final build: Avast kept closing and opening it due to DeepScan

urgh...

How is it to work on an open source project?
Can anybody add something and who checks if the added feature works correctly?

The sun is glaring on my laptop screen so badly, that I can't see my dark-theme console. I really hope `git add .` does only what I wanted it to today. That's why we have source control, right?

Hi guys what is the meaning of double back slash in my Git folder? It is not removed when I do a "git clean -fd". This is the first time I encountered something like this.

$ git status
On branch master
Changes not staged for commit:
(use "git add <file>..." to update what will be committed)
(use "git checkout -- <file>..." to discard changes in working directory)

modified: some/folder/hello.php

Untracked files:
(use "git add <file>..." to include in what will be committed)

"\\"

no changes added to commit (use "git add" and/or "git commit -a")

Add XYZ for foobar

vs

Add XYZ

The first name has that little bit of extra detail so I can have a clue what's going on since these damn jira tickets aren't linked up so I'd know what depends on it.

I'm too dumb to have unpuzzled the architecture document and scooby-doo-ed all this shit together for what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

If I add a log statement on every small thing it makes it look like my application is running REALLY fast

Just spent 2 days developing a regular HTML, CSS yadada website for a client, and now she's telling me in needs to be on WordPress. Does anybody know a free way to add WordPress Content Management? (she won't pay)

Pondering on what to call the act of copulation here on DevRant.
Feel free to add your suggestions!
My suggestion is "child class instantiation". One could on rare occasions call it "client server"...
I know, really childish of me, but I'm bored...

Microsoft was unable to attract users from Windows XP, and only because of that they started to share the free and great WannaCry add-on feature.

!rant
If your manager does not add undue stress on you even if there is a bug in production, then probably you are working for the right company.

I wanted to install Firefox developer edition mainly because of multiprocessing
Now as I activated syncing, it synced my addons, after I restarted multiprocessing was disabled and greyed out
So i began to test which addon it was, deleting the contents of its profile each time

After half an hour I finally tried restarting without any addons, it was fucking disabled

Just using Firefox disables multiprocessing? Wtf?!

I hate when I have to add other people's code into a commit as they haven't made their module available on packagist so I couldn't use composer and it makes my deployment fail

I so f#!ing hate how "font-weight: bold" looks on mozilla (the bottom one) compare to the chrome.
Chrome looks so modern and elegant >< .
Or is this some compatibility properties that i got to add ?

Was going to change some css in our application which ruined some styling with !important. Found the less file responsible for the !important...

... the front-end guy had made a variable @important to add !important on rules...

Can I use my devrant avatar on other platforms and, do I need to add a devrant watermark?

Feature Request: Highlight or add tag to OP commenting on their own post. Thanks guys!

Its cool:

How to switch virtual desktops on windows with mouse gesture:

>install strokeit
>(delete all actions/apps)
>add global gesture right > crtl +win + right
>add global gesture left > crtl +win + left

I wanted to add a lot of features basing their work on WordReference APIs, but they are no longer available. And the worst thing it's that your no-geek friends don't understand your frustration

Before search anything on online, Add this hosts entry.

w3schools.com w3fools.com

Fire at work place.
Normal People: Immediately run from the gate.
Programmer: Git add, Git commit, Git Push, realize fire on the gate, jump from the window.

I want to finish my Chrome extension.its an extension that you can create a "workspace" and save URLs to that workspace.You can then click on a button and it will open all urls in the workspace as tabs and there's another button to add the current tabs url to the workspace.i want to add quite a few features to it.It is currently on github.

I found a good method of testing everything before I add it to the project so rn I’m calm

On the other side of things, Stranger Things S3 is killing me

Add-on signing is censorship in disguise.

Imagine Google could remotely delete YouTube videos you downloaded, to "keep you safe" from the "bad content". Well, Google and Mozilla can remotely disable extensions you installed using their pre-installed trojan horse called "add-on signing".

Always remember, whenever a corporation cites "for your protection", consider it synonymous with "so we can control you more".

Stuck on linux configuration problem. Looking for solution full day. And at last I found solution! Just needed to add -b option to my command.

Interesting (worrying) thing that happened to me a few weeks ago:

One day, every time I clicked on youtube the button "add to playlist" on any video, youtube requested access to my microphone.

I have tried so hard to add some dependencies on react-native (android). Always fails when build gradle, many dependencies are mismatch.
Go fuck my project.

Some guy posted an issue on my repo asking about my license and whether he could add my app to F-Droid, does anyone have an experience with that?

What local database you guys use??

I am searching for local db that also provide encryption for windows desktop application.

* found sqlite but most add-on that provide encryption are not free *

Writing on a small c programm that somewhere calls a method that has a pwrite() in it.

I now wanted to know how long that method takes.
So I add a:
startTime = clock();
In front of it.
The funny thing is, that makes the pwrite fail.
I remove it, it works.
I add it, and it fails again.

What the actual fucking hell.

You know how when you specifically tell Developers lower than you NOT to do something like add more features without debugging first on a Site that uses the coding language "blocky" ON A CHROMEBOOK....... Guess what they do?

You stupid tester first add you freaking requirements and not just put back stories on todo and say it's not finished. You are just testing how an web app works. We can also automate that process you know!!!!

I actually bothered to add buttons to the vscode commandbar today instead of always relying on the terminal window. So neat. Why didn't I do this a year ago?

Enabling browser userscripts on Android is not an evident procedure for novice users.

It's annoying if people do want this functionality to change how web pages behave, e.g. they want to fix a broken banner on mobile that doesn't have max-width: 100% but instead crops off on the page.

At this current time, Firefox changed their engine so that it supports only a limited set of add-ons and you'd have to use a nightly build in order to enable other add-ons such as userscript ones.
Chrome doesn't accept add-ons/extensions.
And there's the JavaScript trick but again, not user-friendly.

It's just annoying.

Forgot to add parenthesis around an OR (was a bunch of ANDs previously) and screwed up data in a 200+ GB database... Time to delete it and restore another one from a backup that's on a network drive.... *sigh*