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CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"11 -
Typical paranoia's when developing a website
- what if the user has JS turned off ?
- what if he is using the site without a monitor ?
- what if the user's electricity is off ?
- what if there's no user ?13 -
For fuck's sake,if you are teaching "Machine Learning For Developers",you don't have to waste a whole hour explaining what the fuck a variable is or what is an if statement.Developers know what that is....aaargh.Off to sleep.12
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What If our Boss's read our Rants...
OH GOD NO!
But
What If they write there OWN rants about us?
Now im scared9 -
Dev: "What if the user has more than 100 entries? How would that display?"
UX: "They won't ever have that many"
Dev: "But what if they do?"
UX: "They won't."
(spoiler: they do)3 -
What if some day devrant starts getting bigger and has a lot of employees? What happens if they start ranting too?8
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Comment the "why", not the "what". If your code needs comments to explain what it does, rewrite the code (use good, descriptive identifiers).3
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What if Snapchat's filters are all a part of the government's plot to develop a facial recognition database? 🤔6
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My teacher says that the only types of image that exist are bitmap and vector.
He taught us abt bitmap (badly)
Then he skipped vector and said "just google it"8 -
What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4 -
What if we were the AI created by God to automate repetitive tasks and now we are making AI to automate those repetitive tasks and this goes on and on until the world gets a stack overflow.9
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Company : we added AI to our product!!
What i hear : we added a sequence of if and if else to our product 😂😂5 -
public function recruiters($salary)
{
if($salary == "competitive")
{
return NaN;
} else
{
return "What is the real salary?";
}
}3 -
What if devRant made this app just to see how to improve their own company without looking like shit?1
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Else if, elif, elseif, if else garrgghj. I can never remember what it is in whatever language I happen to use...13
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Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...10
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What would you answer if your IT support asks: "What do you use to connect to MongoDB, Internet Explorer or Chrome?"8
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What was your first language? What would you wish your first language was instead (if you didn't like it)?26
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Me: Do you know what *he / she* said?
You: No, what?
Me: Well if I fucking knew, would I be the one asking? -
That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.
😨 -
I just wrote, "We don't use braces for if in this package".
For if in! What the hell am I speaking!1 -
"If you run printf(“hello world”);, it will print “hello world” every time. But if you call a Windows API, God only knows what will happen."
3 -
Hello senior devs.. . What happens if you screw up? I mean if a junior dev screws up, the senior helps.. right?6
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What do you use to develop?
If laptop which one + specs?
If desktop specs + favorite accessories?
What type of development?
Editor?6 -
What if I’m dumb as hell in reality and I don’t recognize it. I keep holding on to this false belief that I can learn programming, but going nowhere in reality. What if I don’t have any talent at all?12
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What happens when I say "uhm... and what if I remove this two little lines of code?"
Ctrlzctrlzctrlz
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How much of the web do you think is still handcoded and what generated/wysiwyg-ed?
(Of 2018? What if you leave out every subpage/only domain.tld/index)8 -
Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O -
What if an enormous asteroid hits the entirety of earth and all our codebase, hardwork, passion, and js frameworks get wiped out?7
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I woke up this morning thinking "what if Trovalds doesn't GPL-released Linux" and i got like all:
Edit:
*Shooting stars music
:v
1 -
these days Internet startups and companies what you to do something without Internet, they says what if whole internet went down, what will you do then? dude if Internet went down, your company would not exists 😒
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Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:
if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens
WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?4 -
Don't know if already asked but, what brought you to programming /your work area. Do you like it? Was what you expected?
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!rant
If you drive, what do you drive?
Just interested to see what kinds of cars we favour.
I currently have a beat up Audi A3.23 -
What do people like more?
if(condition){
return true;
} else{
return false;
}
Or just
if(condition){
return true;
}
return false;9 -
What if I told you I have been earning a good living programming, yes programming, in Coldfusion (CFML)4
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Are you using an automated deployment solution for web development? If so, what would you recommend?6
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!rant
What will happen to programmers/developers now days if there's no search engine/internet connection?11 -
With just 5.8 percent women on SO, I wonder what the gender ratio in here, so my own survey - ++ if a guy, comment if a girl ;)
6 -
Guess what below if condition evaluates to true in javascript
-- and they say Javascript is beautiful 🙃🙃
if(test == 7 && test == 9 && test == 11) {
console.log('Hello World!');
}4 -
My heart is always heavy when I have to add couple if statements with if statements inside of that if statement. Mans gotta do what mans gotta do1
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What are the rules in a general work environment if a developer gets slightly violent?
(Emphasis on "slightly")
What happens to that developer in such case?6 -
if((fabs(a - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(b - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(c - 0.0) > 0.00001))
What have you seen dear traveller? What have you seen?2 -
What was the path like to get to your current position?
Is it your end-goal position? If not what are your plans for the future?4 -
So my computer is doing ok after becoming spastic over viruses. I did hardware and software cleaning. First time I did removing hardware parts but it worked it way better than expected with the static sensitive parts (I used a anti static wrist band). Congrats to myself I guess :)3
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A random thought.
In a game what if we put these messages instead?
If a person wins, "We have a winner!"
Else, "We have a weiner!"1 -
I've got an interview invitation as a freelancer. I've never freelanced before. What if I don't know how to do what the client wants me to do? Halp.3
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Is it just i have bad luck or do all developers by the time they get to lead just stop caring?
my leads always seem to be the least team-focused members of the group.2 -
Are there any people here who are into artificial intelligence? And if so what is your experience with it?12
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What is everyone's opinion on companies/organisations 'too big to fail'...?
I was just pondering on how 'just Google it' has become so 'natural' as a way of saying search the Internet. The more I think about it, the less I like it.
I know the chances of them failing/crumbling are neary zero (hence the name) but if an org, Ie Alphabet, made some shit decisions and bankrupted their company, what would happen then? Any ideas? I don't mean in terms of social fallout, economic etc.
I mean in terms of network infrastructure, them being such a central part of 'the web', all their Dns services, their backbone links, Google drive, Google fiber etc. What would happen to all user data? Just be destroyed?
I've never 'seen' a large tech company collapse, but just wander as to how that process would work for such a huge organisation, and the literal mountains of data they have which will need destroying or relocating.
Inb4 watch Mr robot hurrr7 -
Anyone else here a high school student that does programming for an FRC team? If so, what number? Also, what language?11
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Not a rant but a question/style.
What do you prefer and why?:
if(condition)
vs
if (condition == true)
and
if (!condition)
vs
if (condition == false)
vs
if (condition != true)19 -
Dear devs, what gadgets do you often use that help your daily programming?
Even if you only have m+k, what do you prefer?7 -
Well, how i can start...
[Inspired on CipherSaber]
I wanna disguise arcfour as a game (board or virtual), give it for free to kids, and someday tell them the goverment has banned the game because it's basically undistingable from arcfour, and then i'll try to explain for them the crypto controversy, and i know i did my work well if at least one of them decides to write a letter to the goverment.
I mean, i clearly know this is so frigged up, but i wanna know if it could actually work. -
on an interview for an apprenticeship as IT support, got a question that should've been simple, but got dragged to far beyond. "what if you can't figure out a solution to a problem? what if there are no colleages to ask? what if google isn't available, what if the nothing in the universe can solve it?"5
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Poll: What OS do you use for development? If your os isn't in the comments add it, if it is ++ the comment mentioning it..20
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If this doesn't give you anxiety, I don't know what will...
http://hoveringartdirectors.tumblr.com/... -
what do you listen and using what kind of services while programming? Share your playlist if you got one7
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If workspace has Macs connected in local network.
Use ssh to your colleague's mac and make Mac "say weird embarrassing noises" ( if you know what i mean )
Top Tags
I'll just leave this here...