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CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10 -
Typical paranoia's when developing a website
- what if the user has JS turned off ?
- what if he is using the site without a monitor ?
- what if the user's electricity is off ?
- what if there's no user ?12 -
For fuck's sake,if you are teaching "Machine Learning For Developers",you don't have to waste a whole hour explaining what the fuck a variable is or what is an if statement.Developers know what that is....aaargh.Off to sleep.13
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What If our Boss's read our Rants...
OH GOD NO!
But
What If they write there OWN rants about us?
Now im scared9 -
Life lesson learned:
If your girlfriend asks you what SO means, it's "Significant Other",
NOT StackOverflow.7 -
So my team lead told me in a code review that you shouldn't use 'else if' in code.
Instead you should best them like:
if
else
if
else
if
else
Apparently that would improve readability...
Am I crazy, or what?25 -
What if some day devrant starts getting bigger and has a lot of employees? What happens if they start ranting too?8
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My teacher says that the only types of image that exist are bitmap and vector.
He taught us abt bitmap (badly)
Then he skipped vector and said "just google it"8 -
What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4 -
What if we were the AI created by God to automate repetitive tasks and now we are making AI to automate those repetitive tasks and this goes on and on until the world gets a stack overflow.9
-
Company : we added AI to our product!!
What i hear : we added a sequence of if and if else to our product 😂😂5 -
What if devRant made this app just to see how to improve their own company without looking like shit?1
-
public function recruiters($salary)
{
if($salary == "competitive")
{
return NaN;
} else
{
return "What is the real salary?";
}
}3 -
Dennis Ritchie.
Can't imagine life without C, I mean what if C wasn't even invenented? What if Unix wasn't there?
Dayumn!!!7 -
Else if, elif, elseif, if else garrgghj. I can never remember what it is in whatever language I happen to use...13
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What was your first language? What would you wish your first language was instead (if you didn't like it)?26
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That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.
😨 -
I just wrote this code, let's see if the dude who is going to work with it after me will rant about checking state right after setting it as null.
I wonder if he will know why I did this ...
30 -
-- What if JavaScript never existed?
-- What if HTML was a programming language?
-- What if our data online isn't abstract but physical?
-- What if geeks have their own country?
-- What if humans exist and we are the aliens?
-- What if the internet is state-owned?
-- What if we could download food just like every other downloadables?
-- What if my VSCode won't kill me when switched to light theme?
-- What if there was no gender and the word "female" is just an alias for "male"?
-- What if bugs could find and fix themselves?
-- What if there's no need for an account password?
-- What if Linux was owned by Microsoft?
-- **What if I could tell my boss that I'm tired of his fucking job without actually telling my boss? This is the actual what if.**27 -
What happens when I say "uhm... and what if I remove this two little lines of code?"
Ctrlzctrlzctrlz
-
What do you use to develop?
If laptop which one + specs?
If desktop specs + favorite accessories?
What type of development?
Editor?6 -
What if an enormous asteroid hits the entirety of earth and all our codebase, hardwork, passion, and js frameworks get wiped out?7
-
Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O -
these days Internet startups and companies what you to do something without Internet, they says what if whole internet went down, what will you do then? dude if Internet went down, your company would not exists 😒
-
Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:
if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens
WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?4 -
I woke up this morning thinking "what if Trovalds doesn't GPL-released Linux" and i got like all:
Edit:
*Shooting stars music
:v
1 -
Are you using an automated deployment solution for web development? If so, what would you recommend?6
-
!rant
What will happen to programmers/developers now days if there's no search engine/internet connection?9 -
What do people like more?
if(condition){
return true;
} else{
return false;
}
Or just
if(condition){
return true;
}
return false;7 -
My heart is always heavy when I have to add couple if statements with if statements inside of that if statement. Mans gotta do what mans gotta do1
-
With just 5.8 percent women on SO, I wonder what the gender ratio in here, so my own survey - ++ if a guy, comment if a girl ;)
5 -
Is it just i have bad luck or do all developers by the time they get to lead just stop caring?
my leads always seem to be the least team-focused members of the group.2 -
So my computer is doing ok after becoming spastic over viruses. I did hardware and software cleaning. First time I did removing hardware parts but it worked it way better than expected with the static sensitive parts (I used a anti static wrist band). Congrats to myself I guess :)3
-
Not a rant but a question/style.
What do you prefer and why?:
if(condition)
vs
if (condition == true)
and
if (!condition)
vs
if (condition == false)
vs
if (condition != true)19 -
I've heard of the prisoners dilemma, so here's the programmers dilemma:
If nobody gets what they want, endless meetings ensue
If person A gets what they want, then everything is fine
If person B gets what they want, then everything is fine
If both get what they want, it becomes a shitfest
I think this goes for conventions, patterns, you name it2 -
PR (tested)
-- if(a){ x(); }
++ if(a && b(x)){ x(); )
Reviewer: what if a'?
Me-think: but da'/dx not defined, :'(4 -
Well, how i can start...
[Inspired on CipherSaber]
I wanna disguise arcfour as a game (board or virtual), give it for free to kids, and someday tell them the goverment has banned the game because it's basically undistingable from arcfour, and then i'll try to explain for them the crypto controversy, and i know i did my work well if at least one of them decides to write a letter to the goverment.
I mean, i clearly know this is so frigged up, but i wanna know if it could actually work. -
on an interview for an apprenticeship as IT support, got a question that should've been simple, but got dragged to far beyond. "what if you can't figure out a solution to a problem? what if there are no colleages to ask? what if google isn't available, what if the nothing in the universe can solve it?"5
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Poll: What OS do you use for development? If your os isn't in the comments add it, if it is ++ the comment mentioning it..17
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What is everyone's opinion on companies/organisations 'too big to fail'...?
I was just pondering on how 'just Google it' has become so 'natural' as a way of saying search the Internet. The more I think about it, the less I like it.
I know the chances of them failing/crumbling are neary zero (hence the name) but if an org, Ie Alphabet, made some shit decisions and bankrupted their company, what would happen then? Any ideas? I don't mean in terms of social fallout, economic etc.
I mean in terms of network infrastructure, them being such a central part of 'the web', all their Dns services, their backbone links, Google drive, Google fiber etc. What would happen to all user data? Just be destroyed?
I've never 'seen' a large tech company collapse, but just wander as to how that process would work for such a huge organisation, and the literal mountains of data they have which will need destroying or relocating.
Inb4 watch Mr robot hurrr7 -
What if some of the fellow ranters here are not devs but Managers and HRs in disguise trying to find out their employees?3
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Agency people, do you offer support contracts, if so, what do charge and more importantly what do your customers get?
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what do you listen and using what kind of services while programming? Share your playlist if you got one7
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If workspace has Macs connected in local network.
Use ssh to your colleague's mac and make Mac "say weird embarrassing noises" ( if you know what i mean ) -
If this doesn't give you anxiety, I don't know what will...
http://hoveringartdirectors.tumblr.com/...
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