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CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10 -
Typical paranoia's when developing a website
- what if the user has JS turned off ?
- what if he is using the site without a monitor ?
- what if the user's electricity is off ?
- what if there's no user ?12 -
What If our Boss's read our Rants...
OH GOD NO!
But
What If they write there OWN rants about us?
Now im scared8 -
Life lesson learned:
If your girlfriend asks you what SO means, it's "Significant Other",
NOT StackOverflow.7 -
What if some day devrant starts getting bigger and has a lot of employees? What happens if they start ranting too?8
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What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4 -
My teacher says that the only types of image that exist are bitmap and vector.
He taught us abt bitmap (badly)
Then he skipped vector and said "just google it"8 -
What if we were the AI created by God to automate repetitive tasks and now we are making AI to automate those repetitive tasks and this goes on and on until the world gets a stack overflow.9
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What if devRant made this app just to see how to improve their own company without looking like shit?1
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Dennis Ritchie.
Can't imagine life without C, I mean what if C wasn't even invenented? What if Unix wasn't there?
Dayumn!!!7 -
public function recruiters($salary)
{
if($salary == "competitive")
{
return NaN;
} else
{
return "What is the real salary?";
}
}3 -
What was your first language? What would you wish your first language was instead (if you didn't like it)?26
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Reject “what if they sell my emails”, accept “what if my own mailserver fails”.
Escape a paranoia by establishing an entire new kind of paranoia.10 -
That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.
😨 -
On my desk, relics from a lost computing civilization.
I'm curious if anyone recognizes what these are.
I'll post what they are later today if nobody knows.
14 -
I just wrote this code, let's see if the dude who is going to work with it after me will rant about checking state right after setting it as null.
I wonder if he will know why I did this ...
30 -
-- What if JavaScript never existed?
-- What if HTML was a programming language?
-- What if our data online isn't abstract but physical?
-- What if geeks have their own country?
-- What if humans exist and we are the aliens?
-- What if the internet is state-owned?
-- What if we could download food just like every other downloadables?
-- What if my VSCode won't kill me when switched to light theme?
-- What if there was no gender and the word "female" is just an alias for "male"?
-- What if bugs could find and fix themselves?
-- What if there's no need for an account password?
-- What if Linux was owned by Microsoft?
-- **What if I could tell my boss that I'm tired of his fucking job without actually telling my boss? This is the actual what if.**27 -
What happens when I say "uhm... and what if I remove this two little lines of code?"
Ctrlzctrlzctrlz
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What do you use to develop?
If laptop which one + specs?
If desktop specs + favorite accessories?
What type of development?
Editor?6 -
What if an enormous asteroid hits the entirety of earth and all our codebase, hardwork, passion, and js frameworks get wiped out?6
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I woke up this morning thinking "what if Trovalds doesn't GPL-released Linux" and i got like all:
Edit:
*Shooting stars music
:v
1 -
Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O -
Are you using an automated deployment solution for web development? If so, what would you recommend?6
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!rant
What will happen to programmers/developers now days if there's no search engine/internet connection?9 -
My heart is always heavy when I have to add couple if statements with if statements inside of that if statement. Mans gotta do what mans gotta do1
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What do people like more?
if(condition){
return true;
} else{
return false;
}
Or just
if(condition){
return true;
}
return false;7 -
Is it just i have bad luck or do all developers by the time they get to lead just stop caring?
my leads always seem to be the least team-focused members of the group.2 -
So my computer is doing ok after becoming spastic over viruses. I did hardware and software cleaning. First time I did removing hardware parts but it worked it way better than expected with the static sensitive parts (I used a anti static wrist band). Congrats to myself I guess :)3
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Not a rant but a question/style.
What do you prefer and why?:
if(condition)
vs
if (condition == true)
and
if (!condition)
vs
if (condition == false)
vs
if (condition != true)19 -
Fuck... Am getting my laptop's battery changed and this feels like someone's doing a heart transplant of my precious.
What if the new battery isn't compatible, what if the guy turns out to be a thug and takes away my laptop parts ,what if what if what if.... Damn kill me now10 -
PR (tested)
-- if(a){ x(); }
++ if(a && b(x)){ x(); )
Reviewer: what if a'?
Me-think: but da'/dx not defined, :'(4 -
on an interview for an apprenticeship as IT support, got a question that should've been simple, but got dragged to far beyond. "what if you can't figure out a solution to a problem? what if there are no colleages to ask? what if google isn't available, what if the nothing in the universe can solve it?"5
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I've heard of the prisoners dilemma, so here's the programmers dilemma:
If nobody gets what they want, endless meetings ensue
If person A gets what they want, then everything is fine
If person B gets what they want, then everything is fine
If both get what they want, it becomes a shitfest
I think this goes for conventions, patterns, you name it2 -
If this doesn't give you anxiety, I don't know what will...
http://hoveringartdirectors.tumblr.com/... -
What is everyone's opinion on companies/organisations 'too big to fail'...?
I was just pondering on how 'just Google it' has become so 'natural' as a way of saying search the Internet. The more I think about it, the less I like it.
I know the chances of them failing/crumbling are neary zero (hence the name) but if an org, Ie Alphabet, made some shit decisions and bankrupted their company, what would happen then? Any ideas? I don't mean in terms of social fallout, economic etc.
I mean in terms of network infrastructure, them being such a central part of 'the web', all their Dns services, their backbone links, Google drive, Google fiber etc. What would happen to all user data? Just be destroyed?
I've never 'seen' a large tech company collapse, but just wander as to how that process would work for such a huge organisation, and the literal mountains of data they have which will need destroying or relocating.
Inb4 watch Mr robot hurrr7 -
What if some of the fellow ranters here are not devs but Managers and HRs in disguise trying to find out their employees?3
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Well, how i can start...
[Inspired on CipherSaber]
I wanna disguise arcfour as a game (board or virtual), give it for free to kids, and someday tell them the goverment has banned the game because it's basically undistingable from arcfour, and then i'll try to explain for them the crypto controversy, and i know i did my work well if at least one of them decides to write a letter to the goverment.
I mean, i clearly know this is so frigged up, but i wanna know if it could actually work. -
what do you listen and using what kind of services while programming? Share your playlist if you got one7
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Everything from https://devrant.com/rants/4289918 but on the side of projects I happen to work with and dependencies. Applying this scope of change on one human is a bit cheap, don't you think? 🤷♂️
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Agency people, do you offer support contracts, if so, what do charge and more importantly what do your customers get?
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