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Finally I found a webpage related to my bug.
The page is from 2004.
*keeps reading*
"Yes, yes! This is exactly the problem I'm having"
*Carefully reading each comments*
*Looking at scroll bar with stress*
*Almost coming to end, no signs of solution*
At the end the thread creator say: "Ah finally I've fixed the problem. Thanks everyone for helping"
*moment of silence*
WHY U NO SHARE THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION? YOU FUCKING IDIOT17 -
Excuse me boss!
During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?
Employee : That's easy, 49.
Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge
Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.
Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...
Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!
Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.19 -
Conversation with my Boss
B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.
12 -
C: application not working
Me: k. What changed?
C: we didn't make changes
Me: k... *gets a tech team (W) on the phone*
W: Hey, what's broken?
Me: C's application. How do things look?
W: running healthy. I'll check logs.
Me: thanks. *gets tech team (S) on the line*
S: hey, everything clear on our end, will check logs.
Me: thanks *gets tech team (U)*
U: hey! They asked us to deploy their new version today during normal deployment time. Is it acting up?
Me: C, what did you change?
C: nothing major, just how we connect to W and S...
W&S: are you shitting me???
Me: U, will you please roll it back?
C: no! Must stay on this version, you need to fix your side!!
Me: nope. *calls U boss (UG)*
UG: U, you have my permission to roll back, they need to fix. C, if your boss doesn't like it, have them call me.
*rollback fixes problem*
IF I FUCKING ASK YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHANGED, YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR I WILL STRIP YOUR CODE OFF OUR FUCKING SYSTEMS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU AND YOU NEED TO BACK TO FUCK UP AND NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY JOB OR YOU WON'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.11 -
Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me
*piano starts
Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant
*piano
It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning
*epic guitar
I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo
I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging
Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!
*epic guitar
So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here
*epic guitar solo
Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them
Any way this code blows10 -
Ex-Boss (62years old)- why do you wear a watch? Take it off.
Me (bewildered) - why? What happened?
Him - see I don't wear a watch also.
Come on, take it off.
Me - *took off my watch* now what?
Him - see. Now you can also look at the time using your mobile, like me. No need of watch. U should be modern.
Me- *WTF. Are u high or something, u fucking insane asshole? *
He was one weird piece of shit.19 -
Teacher : Explain two parallel lines.
Me : Lines that never intersect
Teacher : Good. Can u explain it with an example.
Me : Me and my crush.
*Whole class laughing, still don't have a clue what I said wrong. That's as real as it fucking gets.*
Fucking education system. No real world examples.3 -
Lamer rant
For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.
Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.
Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!
Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.
Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.
Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!
Fkk...
Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!
F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!
Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!
I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.20 -
My thoughts when my uncle was introducing me to one of his friends.
(M = me, U = uncle, F = Uncle's friend)
U : Meet M, he is a software developer, he works at * blah *.
M (Internally): That is a very reasonable introduction.
U : * Continues speaking. *
M (Internally): No, staph! It was good enough. Don't go any further.
U : He does * blah blah *
M (Internally): That's not even remotely related to what I do.
U : If you have any tech related problems, he is your guy.
M (Internally): You should have kept shut.
U : If your phone slows down, he can fix it.
M (Internally): Why would you even say that !?
U : He can fix all you printer issues.
M (Internally): Excuse me. What. The. Fuck!?
U : You should definitely consult him before purchasing any tech.
M (Internally): That's it. I give up. There is no hope left.
F : * Gestures U to clam down. *
F : * Nods at M in a very assuring manner. As if he were saying, 'chill bro! Its all cool, I understand.' *
M (Internally): Hold on. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there is some hope left.
F : So, tell me, how good are you with excel formulas?
M (Internally): * Dies *3 -
Boss - so how long will this transport booking app take, native android and iOS ....plus backend, plus localization, plus live location tracking, blah blah.
Me - at least 4 months, or more
Boss - HOW can an app take MONTHS? That is totally unacceptable, it’s not gonna work this way, blah blah. I’m giving u 2 months, tops. No project should take more than 2 months.
—
Next app,
Boss - so this new e-commerce app needs to be made, u have api. How long?
Me - 2 months coz ——-
Boss - WHATTTTT!!!??? 2 months for an APP!!???? What is this? Not gonna work this way, you should make apps in a week. Other people make apps in a week.
Then fucking hire those other people. Lol.8 -
I just quit my job!
The company I worked for is a small company founded in Jan of this year and I was there since the early days but wasn't a founder nor a partner.
It was me who decided on which tech stack we should use, which languages, what servers to use, best practices and almost anything related to development. I was the lead developer and project manager for the biggest project they had.
But they decided that I don't deserve to be a partner. I was making more than 50,000 SDG per month for the company but only paid 6,000. The worst thing is that the partners don't know shit about software development. They have no vision for where should the company be in the future.
I just had enough. I already had my own software dev business before joining them, and it was successful.
I am going back to building my own company with my own vision.
I know I made the right decision, but it still hurts leaving a company after u made it what it is today. It is like your own baby and you are abandoning it.
Hopefully, it is for the best.9 -
friend: so how are we gonna do this project together? download, edit then upload to google drive again. thats the fastest way.
me: how about git?
friend: what?
me: ill just create a repository and create branches before we merge it with master. no need to go through that process of downloading and uploading multiple times
friend: not sure... what... that.. is.....
me: oh we have a looooong way to go, ill guess ill have to teach u git right from the beginning12 -
Day 1 10:00 am
Login to email account (Zimbra)
Your password is incorrect (I entered it correctly, this was a permanent issue ,used to happen in the company with many employees)
Reset your password by logging into internal company portal.
11:00 am
Logged into company portal, somehow. 2 Mbps internet shared among 104 people, you can imagine the speed.
Reset email password
* your password has been sent to your email id*
Are you fucking kidding me? U have emailed me the password to the same email I can't log in to?
Where did the architecture designer get this top notch weed from?
Day 2
Asked HR to reset my password (using a colleague's email)
Day 3
No reply from HR yet
Day 4
I went to meet HR, she's on vacation. So they have 1 person managing the password reset, for 5000 people with no backup person. Cool.
Day 5
Your internal company password has expired. Check your email for link to create new password. This is some next level shit going on.
Day 6
I called up Internal IT team to generate a new email for me.
They asked me to raise a ticket.
I can't raise a ticket because the only way to do so, is through the portal.
Day 7
Nothing. Btw, personal email and all social networks were banned. You can't even open stackoverflow.
And this was a research lab, amazing huh?
Day 8
Loss of pay for 4 days since I can't login to company portal to fill timesheet.
Day 9
HR comes back. Resets my password.
I try to generate my new password for portal.
The password policy:
Password can't be same as last 10 passwords
Passwords expire every week
8 characters minimum, 2 upper case, 2 lower case, NO SPECIAL SYMBOL. WTF. How long do u think its gonna take to crack that?
Fuckers had a company wise policy to automatically lock PC every 1 min if not used. Who the fuck can keep on using it continuously! I'm reading an article, and bam ! Locked. 2 wrong entries and that's it, repeat all steps again. Fuckers really didn't want to let me do my job, just keep on logging in all day.12 -
Soooooo got fired on my day off!! 😁😁😁 Y am I sooo happy??? Bc the company's president sucks, and glad to be gone!!
So, I come in on my day off trying to help him with a promo for an app I was working on, and ass face come in with a chip already on his shoulders.
Him: So what are u going to show me?
Me: A walk through of the app.
Him: No, what specifically are u going to show me?(already getting upset)
Me: The whole app. Like from the login screen and everything else.
Him: No! I need to knw specifically what your going to show me! Like this button, that menu, this function!!!(boiling point)
Me: That's what I said, "the whole app"
Him: Do u want to be suspended a whole week??!!!
Me: (smiling) Yes!!
Him: You knw what, ur gonna tell me what the fuck ur gonna show me or--
Me: Gets up, grab my phone and head towards the door.
Him: If u leave, ur done!!
Me: Dnt care. (Continue out the door)
Him: (yelling) That's it, ur done!
Me: Happy 😁😁😁10 -
My brother made a PC game for his game dev class.
You are a hamster with a hammer
- acorns drop and u crack them for points
- you have to avoid rolling logs and eagles that swoop down
- the game gets faster
Dad: I just played the game, I think it has potential like Angry Birds, can you convert it to Android?
Me: no and no
Dad: why and why?
Me: **facepalm and takes a deep breath**
Explains why very simply and that I'm not a game dev... And if he thinks it's that good, go pay for a freelancer...6 -
*me calling ISP*
ISP: hello, how may i help you?
Me: got no connection... you guys maintaining something again from your side?
*30 minutes later*
ISP: we'll check the problem from our end and email u wgat we find
Me (poker face): bit i have no internet :|9 -
My first rant, so pls don't blame me?. 🙈. No just kidding, but now the Story. A friend told me that he want to start hacking. But I know that he can't prog or use a PC. But I asked: "Can u program?" He: Yeah, of course!?". *Me wondering as fuck* Me: Where do u learned that?" He: "Watched YouTube Videos!" Me: "OK?, and what language du u want to use, and IDE?" He answered: "Language Arduino, and IDE what is that?". *Me facepalming and asking myself what dafuq was he watching and why is he trying to do things like that*11
-
while we were in the car...
mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job3 -
On June 2016, I've quite my job. 15 years as developer/system administrator in a middle company in switzerland. 30 people with everyday problem. 30 calls per day.
Now, i work in my own company.
More work, no more time, but u know what? No regrets!! I'm freeeeeeee! :p3 -
Me: Do u have antivirus Software installed That could possibly Blockade the Data for our Software.
Customer: Yes My computer is very safe i use 3 antiviruses.
Me: At the Same time?
Customer: Yes so My computer is better protected
Me: says no more
True Story just happend 10 minutes ago xD Had a good laugh with My coworkers16 -
I reversed engineered the network protocol for a game.
I uploaded the source code to GitHub and made a post on UC Forums.
I kept getting bombarded with messages from the same person, it went something like this:
Him: "I can't get this hack to work, pls send finish hack, thanks"
Me: "First of all this is not a complete hack. You actually need to know how to code to use this library."
Guy: "Ok, can u help me make hack for game?"
To keep this short, I basically told him:
"No. Look through the code, learn it, use what you learned."
Couple of hours later he replied:
"Ok. I look through code but don't know how work. Send me code pls."
From the kindness of my heart I made a extremely simplified wrapper for the already simple code and sent him the project files.
He replies with: "Thank for hack, I not able make it work. I build I try inject game but no work. How to run dll file."
At that point I gave up...3 -
me: oh you can add a where clause to filter xxx out with your group by.
arrogant junior: whuuut? you can use where clause with group by ? No u can't!
me: err... yes you can...
arrogant junior: NO!!!! No it doesn't work that way!
me : okay okay... fine ...
**30 mins later**
i see a where clause in the sql statement lol...I don't know why this person is always so pissed and fierce lol6 -
It's been a year , I have been contributing to open source and using GitHub.......
There were some people who criticized me for doing open source, saying there's no future in that and u will end up doing nothing.
(But I never listened to them and ignored there words)
Few days back the same person asks me how to start contributing to open source and help him learn git.
U know what I did then??
I ignored again.2 -
*plays game for 10h consecutive*
.. yeah yeah I know what you're thinking. This guy doesn't have a life. And you're probably right.
*gets hungry*
… I could really use a hamburger right now 🤔
… But the fast food tent is ~30 minutes walking distance away, and this game automatically logs you out after 30 mins inactivity...
What if I could program in some delayed input?
*jazz hand routine engages*
Hmm.. so if I do something like:
PS C:\Users\Condor> $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('abusing this chat~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('for upkeep of 10h play~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('while I get myself a hamburger~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('sorry~');
that should work, no?
Le output:
abusing this chat
sorry
Well, even for PowerShit.. good enough, right? It gets the message across 🙃
Hmm.. let's just put an afk message instead, as I'm using the guild chat and don't want any of the members to think that I'm a freak
PS C:\Users\Condor> Sleep 1; $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('afk~');
.. which seems to work like a charm.. alright, perhaps I can entrust PowerShell to do that again after a 900 second delay, which should give me enough time to get that hamburger.
*comes back home*
"Logged out due to 30 minutes of inactivity."
MICROSOFT POWERSHIT, YOU'VE HAD BUT ONE FUCKING JOB!!!!
Well, guess I'll do that no-life 10+h gaming session somewhere next year again then. Thanks Powercunt!21 -
Our school like:
School: hey everyone! Today we are learning java.
We: But we can Java and we already read the whole book
School: So ok! Let's do Java for 4 months!
We: What the... c'mon that makes no sense!
School: ...
We: ...
*After 4 months*
School: So class lets write a exam in java!
We: oh boy! this is nice!
School: Open your VM!
*Everyone started theyr VM and opened Eclipse*
School: Aaaaand now open NetBeans!
We: Holy Moly Crap! Really? why?
School: because...because...because...fuck off! we dont know...but it stands on the fucking exam so shut the fuck up u little crap!11 -
Crappy team bonding or conference days where you spend the day away from your machine listening to motivational speeches from arsehole senior managers!!
"And don't forget everyone, there's no I in team."
"No, but there's a U in cunt."2 -
After ten months. I still hate Instagram's algorithmic news feed. Just because I like a lot of memes doesn't mean I want to miss out on my rarely-posting-friend's posts thanks.
While the chronological feed is never coming back, I just wish they'd add a switch and let us choose what we like.7 -
Type T ( something something... )
...
Type * TP = T;
TP.do()
> Be me
> Production code
> Update Type structure
> SEGV
> Wtf why was this even working
> Ask senior
> senior y u do dis
> bc
> Why were no errors
...
> mfw
> He says
"I added -fpermissive and forgot..."
On production since May
...
...
...
... 20072 -
> writing important email
> switches to another tab to check something
> switches back
Safari: "This page was using significant memory, so we reloaded it."
*knife emote*12 -
"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*
Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.
FUCK!!!6 -
Looks like /dev/body got tainted.. nasal memory leaks all over the place 😷
$ kill -9 $(pidof cold)
... Nothing.
$ sudo !!
I said kill the fucking cold!!! Y u no listen to your admin?! 😠
> User condor is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.
RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!! 😣😣😣
I just want to finish my goddamn power supply project, instead of getting bed-ridden by a cold, and running through paper towels like there's no tomorrow 😭4 -
Have u built your own robo who makes coffee for u while you are coding?
0- yes! // u r cooooool!!!
1- no. // me 2 😸☕
[If you answered yes, then comment how did you ]7 -
This dude that i been helping on his project for free wants me to travel to his city(which is in a different country) to discuss the project and what's missing lmao hahahahahahahahahahahahaha yeah right.
Wondering how he managed to text with his head so far up his ass.
Fucking idiot.
Suuuure thing buddy, guess i will be paying for all my expenses as well using the money you have not given me? Fuck you think this is? If i agreed to help out it was to help one of your developers who so happen to be my boy and even he knows u is full of shit
Think this is my first rodeo? Bitch asked me to send him the project and i fucking denied it and he didn't like it. Said the code is his lmfao not ze fuck is not. No contract? Bitch your ass can come on over to Texas and demand it. Damn sure your dumbass is going to dislike demanding shit looking down the barrel of a .45
Fucking idiot2 -
Most toxic work culture ?? oh boy where do I start.
Getting verbally abused and physical threats over bugs found in production.
All kinds of office politics going around where everyone openly admitted not liking others in other departments.
Your day's salary gets taken away if u are late by even 1 min. And no overtime pay and no you cannot say no to that either or end up getting laid off.
Company brags about giving their employees their salary on time.
Only the devs who have lasted more than 10 years in the company will be heard.
After so many job switches I managed to find one where I get to WFH and pretty much face no toxicity from others.8 -
You get a new graphics card and monitor, so you can have three displays and then u notice your PC motherboard has no slots! 😥😥😥😤😤9
-
I feel like a stalker now... or I invented a better Algo. Just show me the rants from the people I've followed and also the ones they've +1'd.
Sorry @sirwindfield for making u the example, but hey ur on devrant.io anyway...
But I guess this was the Twitter feature that no one wanted... o well... that's why I program, I can do whatever I want :)
10 -
> likes linux
> maybe not even install windows on shiny new laptop?
> debian-live.iso
> y u no wifi?
> google: lol apt-get
> but i has no internets...
Why only with Debian and not with literally any other flavor of Linux I've tried, which are all Debian variants?
Halp?18 -
me: so can i use strlen?
intern: no!! you need it implement it!
me: *calls teacher* hey can i use strlen?
teacher: yeah, do as you please. who told u you can't use it?
me: *points at the other guy*
whoops i think i just got him in trouble today xd sorry not sorry, i want him gone so i can replace him hahaha jk4 -
Ladies and gentlemen.
Back in 2009 when I started coding, some dickhead told me to not learn Vim because professional developers normally use IDEs for shit instead of text editors.
Being the kind of person that I am, I shrugged him off as the cocksucker that he was and decided to learn Vim anyway.
Fast forward to 2015 up to 2018
I
Use
That
Bitch
Religiously
At work. For fucking everything since it is what you have when you ssh into a server and lemme tell ya this:
I you guys thought being a Vim master ain't dropping no one's panties....boy u wrong af.
And nano is fine too, but why settle for less when you can be a complete vim black wizard?38 -
😡😡😡 Who here thinks that great software can be build in a few hours?!?! My silly ass boss does. He haven't programmed in decades and think we're supposed to be able to build software that doesn't break, has the best security, no flaws, feature rich in VERY, VERY short amount of time!! 😡😡😡 Fuck out of here!! It pisses me off to my core.
Me: Just finished the required software. In a short amount of time with new stuff I've never worked with before.
Him: Well, it took u a week to do. I heard it should've only have taken u a few hours.
Then u build the shit then!!! Fuck out of here.
The Sr. Dev and I was talking about this on Friday. U won't good product...leave us the fuck alone and let us work!!! He don't think that there will be small issues that come up. He thinks we're supposed to already know those issues are gonna exists, like really u fuck tart!?
FUUUUUUCK!!!!7 -
Just commented on a rant
*Goes back to scrolling*
*Remembers that I forgot to ++ it*
*Runs to my comments to upvote the rant*
Happened to anyone else?8 -
Hi lil puppies what's your problem?
*proxy vomits*
Have you eaten something wrong....
*proxy happily eats requests and answers correctly*
Hm... Seems like you are...
*proxy vomits dozen of requests at once*
... Not okay.
Ok.... What did u you get fed you lil hellspawn.
TLS handshake error.
Thousands. Of. TLS. Handshake. Errors.
*checking autonomous system information*
Yeah... Requests come from same IP or AS. Someone is actively bombing TLS requests on the TLS terminator.
Wrong / outdated TLS requests.
Let's block the IP addresses....
*Pats HAProxy on the head*
*Gets more vomit as a thank you no sir*
I've now added a list of roughly 320 IP adresses in 4 h to an actively running HAProxy in INet as some Chinese fuckers seemingly find it funny to DDOS with TLS 1.0... or Invalid HTTP Requests... Or Upgrade Headers...
Seriously. I want a fucking weekend you bastards. Shove your communism up your arse if you wanna have some illegal fun. ;)11 -
Alright, I have no idea who to blame!
Me and my Linux group at college hosted a Firefox Quantum Sprint with about 30people. And we promised them Firefox swag coz Mozilla promised us! Its been more than two fuckin weeks since we were supposed to recieve them... no swag!
Well, guess what? The local post office says "Insufficient Reciever Address". I specifically remember giving u morons More than sufficient sender address! My name, college name, college address, my number... thats enough to get me assasinated if u want and u cant send a package of stickers?!!!
Well shit.. after five more emails I havent even gotten a reply from Mozilla.. or maybe its the weekends... fuck! Why am i defending these assholes?!!
Send me ur swag Mozilla! Or I ll... I ll...
Wait.. i cant do shit!
Fuck my life! 😣😣😣1 -
So, I'm living in a completely computer illiterate family and I was called to help my father with something on a Laptop where he wanted to stream his favorite Soccer-Club.
So I walk up to him, ask what's wrong, and he says (roughly translated from German) "That thing doesn't work!"
And I'm just like ((Wat u mean))
So I ask him to explain the problem in detail.
Apparently his streaming service wasn't loading his stream.
Well damn I say, try searching for the problem on Google and find a solution.
((But no no no imma just call my son for everything that's freaking wrong with tech, he sure knows what to do))
As I'm not that experienced with Webservices as of yet, I had no idea what to do.
He was fucking furious!
"You always act like you know everything about tech and programs and stuff and can't even help me with fixing this Stream-Thing?!"
I responded simply by saying "It's not my area of work!"
Seems like he didn't know the difference between TECH-JESUS and hobbyist software engineer.
So I stand there and he just goes on one of these typical boomer tech illiterate rants, of which I'm sure you can imagine enough being on this platform.
tl;Dr; It pisses me of big time how people are not even trying to understand technology, nor attempting to help themselves by eG. Googling some simple problem, but rather just ask around and then being pissed off if the asked person just doesn't know the answer or can't help!5 -
Got pulled out of bed at 6 am again this morning, our VMs were acting up again. Not booting, running extremely slow, high disk usage, etc.
This was the 6 time in as many weeks this happened. And always the marching orders were the same. Find the bug, smash the bug, get it working with the least effort. I've dumped hundreds of hours maintaining this broken shitheap of a system, putting off other duties to keep mission critical stations running.
The culprits? Scummy consultants, Windows 10 1709, and Citrix Studio.
Xen Server performed well enough, likely due to its open source origins and Centos architecture.
Whelp. DasSeahawks was good and pissed. Nothing like getting rousted out of bed after a few scant hours rest for patching the same broken system.
DasSeahawks lost his temper. Things went flying. Exorcists were dispatched and promptly eaten.
Enough. No consultants, no analysts, and no experts touched it. No phone calls, no manuals, not even a google search. Just a very pissed admin and his minion declaring blitzkrieg.
We made our game plan, moved the users out, smoked our cigs, chugged monster, and queued a gnu-metal playlist on spotify.
Then we took a wrecking ball to the whole setup. User docs were saved, all else was rm -r * && shred && summon -u Poseidon -beast Land_Cracken.
Started at 3pm and finished just after midnight. Rebuilt all the vms with RDP, murdered citrix studio (and their bullshit licenses), completely blocked Windows 10 updates after 1607, and load balanced the network.
So what do we get when all the experts are fired? Stabbed lightning. VMs boot in less than 10 seconds, apps open instantly, and server resources are half their previous usage state. My VMs are now the fastest stations in our complex, as they should be.
Next to do: install our mxgpu, script up snapshots and heartbeat, destroy Windows ads/telemetry, and setup PDQ. damn its good to be good!
What i learned --> never allow testing to go to production, consultants will fuck up your shit for a buck, and vendors are half as reliable over consultants. Windows works great without Microsoft, thin clients are overpriced, and getting pissed gets things done.
This my friends, is why admins are assholes.4 -
*at work*
co-worker: what are u doing?
me: programming and learning
co-worker: but school has just started... u guys havent learnt anything yet
me: thats the great thing about programming, everything is already in the internet waiting to be read and learned. try it next time ;)
co-worker: learning out of school, no thanks4 -
Okay, first rant here.
Spend most of my morning searching for a js file that was supposed to build some graphs in a report page in this legacy system (still in active development) just to find it embedded inside a random .php file being included inside a wall of if-elses (that shit has around 100 lines) on the index.php (that somehow manages to route all the nonsense that's going on there).. was it really that difficult to make it a proper .js file? and actually import it on the page that is using it? c'mon...
4 -
After long time logged into windows desktop and dared to open internet explorer then I seen option
"What's New in Internet Explorer 8"
So I thought let's see what's new in IE8
When I clicked on that option, suddenly my CPU fan stopped working.
There was no connection between them,
But what a coincidence!
F***U IE:D2 -
so I had coworker that I hardly knew that started hitting me up on our Lync chat system in a sort of creepy way. at first he would just ask my advice on things a lot but he seemed like he was always looking for an excuse to come by cube. then I completely changed divisions within my company. there was no reason why this guy should still be hitting me up with tech stuff but he would still every couple weeks out of know where wanna engage. he'd try to find some technical reason but nothing we did now even remotely related. so one day I kind of said to him why are u coming to me with these issues still. he said "u haven't figured it out yet. u don't know this but we know each from a long time ago". so now I'm like going through all my early schooling, college, other jobs with him. he says no to all of that. he finally says it's in the spirit level. like from another life and he's surprised I have noticed it. 😮😮😮4
-
Dear brain, could u please work?
"No you motherfugging arsehole, scratch the sand out of your vagina and make yourself your own processor. Fuck u."
Seems like it's the jolly season of "my brain is uncooperative and unwilling".1 -
Me: Boss you told me to come and talk to you regarding my performance on Monday but you went on leave.
Boss: I said that out of frustration. I forgot that you have already resigned so no use saying anything to you.
Me: 😂😂😂
Related Rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1527062/...2 -
So, company I work at, is on desperate need of PHP developers, who can work in WordPress and Magneto. Company announced vacancy.
Only 20 CVs were dropped 4 days before from today. So company called all of them for interview and I was one of the interviewer. Most of applicants told me that they know Laravel but not WordPress.
I was like fine. Maybe they can work on WordPress too. But I was wrong. Here are some funny interviews:
Me: how many types of inheritance does PHP support?
Applicant 1: 7. Single, multiple, etc..
Me: Do you know difference between interface and abstract class?
Applicant 2: (he just said some gibberish)
Me: why do u prefer Laravel to WordPress?
Applicant 3: because by default Laravel support payment gateway, so we can create e commerce application faster. WordPress doesn't support payment gateway.
Me: how many WordPress site you have worked on?
Applicant 4: I have 4 themes in WordPress.org
Me: Do you create all of them by yourself?
Applicant 4: Yes
Me: Do u know difference between require and include?
Applicant 4: No
Me: Do u know difference between query_posts and WP_Query?
Applicant 4: No
Me: (facepalm)6 -
You know u have no life when you get a call, you're all excited about who's it going to be...
"oooh an unknown number!"
*picks up*
"who's this?"
... *automated voice* "This is apple calling you for your apple verification code... your code is..."
And u realize u have ur computer on which u need to enter your code because u tried to login 2 minutes ago...2 -
Today’s lesson in C programming:
DON’T use
system( “clear” );
in Mac OS...
Causes seg Fault in ur program when it is perfectly correct...
What happened was... a friend wanted help with C programming and had written this code... but it was getting seg Fault randomly... just random seg Fault when his code was correct...
I pinpointed the seg Fault to a printf statement but the statement was correct...
Off to search the issue I went, found out that flushing problems can occur in printf if u don’t use \n.
This happens randomly. Thought this might b the reason...
Went to a VM running Arch Linux and tested the code there... worked perfectly. No issues whatsoever.
From a distant memory I remembered some people discussing to never use system( “clear” ); since it causes issues.
Thought to remove that line from code, thinking it wouldn’t make any difference.
Well imagine my shock when the code worked fine after remove that freaking line...
M gonna blame this one on Mac OS since arch had no issues with it 😡😡
Now to find alternative to system( “clear” );
Damm it I spent 4-5 hours on this crap!!!!!!9 -
* How I solve a problem*
"Okay, it seems to be interesting, OK think solve it generally"
*Solved the problem manually
"Okay pseudo code is /do this and that/ break it and write Algo.
Seems like it will work,
Making all sense
Okay let's code"
*Wrote in IDE
" Hmm compile and execute"
*Expected output : Hey you!
*Actual output : F you!
Me: What the hell
"Uhh! Just gonna apply brute force"
*Somehow got the actual output = expected output
"I knew, it gonna solve it but how it worked?"
*Thinking
*Thinking....
*Thinking and it's 2 am
"Oh! I'm done, I'm going to sleep"
*4 am, while lucid dreaming
"That's how that thing worked, I got it"
*Relieved
*Next day using the logic dreamt of
*No matter how much surreal it is
*It didn't work
Me : F U!!!
..
..
...
(to be continued)2 -
!dev
That moment when u buy an extra SSD so you can have windows to play some random MMOs with your friends and that bitch tries to sneak your Linux's boot priority.
No Windows, u're just here to play some games. No u can't boot everytime. Only linux can do that. Thank's but I don't even want a browser on you, I already have all the .exe files I need.2 -
wow... no kidding.... so C++ is like a language without a compiler holding ur hands and catching u when u screw up...
8 -
I think the next person who says I just was born with a “smart brain” I’m going to fucking rip out their throat. The absolute nerve to say that. They had no idea how much I have had to struggle to get here. I’ve worked my fucking ass off because I’m actually kinda a dumbfuck. I probably got black out drunk most weekends of the second half of high school and throughout college.
No, I don’t have a fucking “smart math computer brain” u narrow minded nincompoop. I just chose to be smarter than you bc I worked harder. Get out of my face and go make yourself useful since u clearly don’t have the capacity to contribute anything intelligent to our society.40 -
Y'all, are internships in your area paid, unpaid or u need to pay to get one?
Our uni made internships mandatory! being from one of the country which produces largest number of engineers per year. Every godamn student from our uni is running around to get an internship! And there arises these dick heads with so called made up startups which has never done a godamn single project, just legally registered before the dawn and puts up advertisements for internship trainings!! All our uni needs is a fucking certificate from a technical company which is legally registered. And these assholes provide internship to those who pay them hella amount, and attend there couple of days just to get the certificate!! No developers! Just some random guy talking about html and css! Now thats Internship!
Fucking shit! Making money by looting students in their hard times! Students get the certificate that satisfies the uni, but for fucks sake at least bring an expert to guide them! No!! Need to stand up against this shit!11 -
Client - "hi, I got the mail. Is the app complete.......","...you've done this part?....","...have you done that blabla section..."
😑..I already wrote it in the mail that it is complete, dumbass. And Why don't u just flipping RUN it and see if this part and that section is working properly and tell me if your highness can spot something incomplete.
No I'm not overreacting. He acts like this all the time.2 -
*flashback to days of windows xp*
Just finished formatting and installing xp on friend's trash pc cuz the os was compromised due to a shitload of viruses. Notice that other partitions might still be infected and i don't have an antivirus on me.
"Big boi Ill be back in an hour, just whatever you do, don't open ANY drives no matter how urgent it is. Just Don't do it or i won't be able to help you"
Come back and VIOLA this worthless trash avocado opened a drive to play a game and d pc was infected. Again. Back to square one. It almost broke my heart. Almost.
I remember that day well. I was 15yo and hopeful. That day marks d start of my hatred toward tech incompetent people.
SO FKIN
A N G E R Y
So today
College
My classmates stink of incompetence. I'm not that smart in fact i consider myself to be a noob among devs but seeing ppl that are several order of magnitudes trashier than me breaks my heart and makes me soo Fkin
A N G E R Y
Hey you cunt of a skunk, WHY can't you even compile a fkin cpp file without an IDE what the fuck is wrong with you? What do u mean ur program isn't compiling? Well it literally says there syntax error on line 15 congrats u moron u fkin spelled else as esle. Why shud I waste my time on stupid Shitty ppl like u huh?
And waddup mr shithead.No. Not gonna help you partition ur drives and install a fkin linux just cuz ur too lazy to google it urself.
And if i refuse to help cuz im working on my shit then I AM D BAD GUY? Stop bitching about me u lazy bastards get ur lazy arse off and read the fkin book. Watch a tutorial or sm shit why the fuck can't u understand YOU LITERALLY PAY TO COME HERE AND YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO LEARN THE BASICS GOOD LUCK GETTING A JOB YOU WORTHLESS CUNTS.
Now now all the poison is out i can finally focus on improving myself and stop giving a fuck about them. Its hard to be calm and cool when ur surrounded by ppl like this all day. Even harder when there is almost noone that you can look upto. All this time, there's only one thing I've learnt- in a place like dis, being an asshole is better dan being polite.3 -
The feel you get when u r listening to Interstellar docking scene soundtrack while writing a code and it compiles and run with no errors exactly the moment docking happens ! #goosebumps
-
Click on `Share on Facebook` button. But then discards it when u realize that no one will like it.2
-
PM measure workload by UI upgrades and careless abt backend, meaning you cant justify u were developing backend while there is no output.3
-
Looks like Matrix just got educated on hiding administrative stuff behind a VPN, by the guy (or gal, but those don't exist on the internet) that hacked their production infrastructure. Coincidentally, it reminded me of that time when a dev wanted to educate me, a sysadmin, about VPN's 😄
https://devrant.com/rants/2030041
What I've learned from this incident are 2 things.. well mainly 2 things.
1. Never *ever* entrust developers with production access. Let DevOps take care of the glue that sticks dev and prod together.
2. Trust nobody's competence but your own. Matrix was advertised as "highly secure", and then they do a fuckup like this. Only trust yourself, and ensure that you're in control.4 -
when your PM sets a meeting for 7pm, postpones until 10pm and says: "no worries, we can do this another day"
u took my FRIDAY, WOMAN!
-
After long hours of intensive coding and no caffeine, goto bed because u realise it's 2AM. Wake up next day, look back at the came code, "what the hell was I tryin to do!"3
-
so i ordered free samples of microcontrollers because i didnt want to waste money... in the receipt, i saw Oct 28, 2017 and im like oh cool i guess ill receive it on that date.
today they sent me an email saying they have already shipped the package today and im like wtf why just now and i looked over the receipt again and saw:
SHIPMENT DATE: October 28, 2017
i swear to god i flippes shit because it may actually arrive in a month or two and the project has to be submitted in a month. goddamit and there is no other way! i have to buy it :(( the worst part of it is that i have another set of microcontrollers TO BE SHIPPED in January. theyre for the next project which should be submitted in January.
lesson: TIME IS FUCKING GOLD. if u want free sample, order them at least 3 months before u start the project.3 -
Recently was in a recruitment hackathon for leading technology company.
So, to test ppls networking, team building skill they grouped ppl into a team.
I was teamed up with noobs, and had very bad experience.
One guy in the team was arguing to use PHP for developing a web app.
Me : What PHP framework are u good at!?
He: what is framework !?
Me : like laravel etc..
He: no I meant we use plain PHP!
Me (mind voice) : go fuck yourself, I am bailing out , I Do not need the job
Me : It's ohk we only know NodeJs , so, gave a wierd smile
He was still arguing ,but I gave 0 f***
This is considered as a fight!?
Yeah not the worst though
Apparently the recruitment ppl liked him a lot in my team!2 -
So in C++ there is no garbage collector to clean up the mess u leave behind?
And now i feel like a garbage collector.... always cleaning up after monkeys... :(
13 -
I started the weekend saying i wanna code some personal projects. Its sunday and u know what, fuck no. Sure we love to code but we are still human gonna go sit in a jakuzi and swim a little tonight. We need to relax every now and then. So if ur feeling theres a lot of shit u need to do... take a break. Seriously everyone needs it2
-
In school we got asked 4 our future jobs. I saif: im gonna get informatician, because im already really good at it... Look, i can evem build compilers... In the break, my friend: could u program a game, dude? Me: no, im not using a graphical environnement. If i wanted to i would have to learn unity or flash or some sort of game engine He: then, ur not an informatician, and u shouldnt get one either...
(hes a windows user)3 -
I hate bash scripting so much !
What a shit language, its inconsistent af
Its just a pile of hacks upon hacks upon hacks. Theres no rime or reason to bash expansion, or to working with arrays.
Sometimes "$@" is a list, sometimes its not... Because fuck u thats why
So im doing a coding project at work, that has to be in bash for reasons.
It already feels like giving birth, llms are hard-carrying me and im not proud of it
And every time i think im done, and i can close this fucking epic, some issue pops up that necessitates a re-write
3rd one is also a no go apparently
And this all happened because *someone* in another department couldn't be fucked to implement the proper solution for this.
The scope of this piece of shit script keeps growing, because every month they be like
"oh this feature of service xyz ? Nah turns out we cant do that sowwy. But you can implement a workaround in bash right??
If you truly like bash as a language, you're cooked brother. you need to seek professional help :skull:12 -
Oh so day continued....
My boss just asked me before I left... You know that report we wanted automated, you said you'd get it done by today, is it done yet?
Me: well uh who dragged me into a PROD issue because no one else knows how to investigate... EVEN THOUGH I BUILT AND SHOWED U HOW TO USE THEM... SEVERAL TIMES. (no i didn't say this last but that's what went on in my head).
Oh and I figured out what the issue was... -
MOCHA YOU FUCKING BITCH, THERE IS A DONE() CALLBACK BEING CALLED IN THIS TEST, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? I WILL RAPE YOUR FUCKING SOURCE CODE. But really mocha test, why u no work so we can both move on with our lives 😣😦😞7
-
G’day dev rant community, Im bloody annoyed, so what happened was i finished college about 1pm had a mad feed at grilled happy as fred, walking the streets of sydney past UTS - and thennnn “OMG HELLO CAN U STOP AND TALK TO ME?” And me silly enough give her 5 minutes of my precious time, mind you she is bloody yelling as she is talking ##%%#ing land whale!! “Can you please donate $5 a week to this charity - mind you its a ####ing scam- then another dude comes out of no where saying “oh has she been nice to you?” - me “ oh absolutely “ and in my mind im saying “no #%#%ing way does this blabbering whale normally speak like this”...
Then it only gets on my nerves “oh are you poor are you?? I know it must be extremely stressful and expensive living in sydney” he says , man who tf are these annoying pricks annoying people heading into and out of work?? How dare you say im poor you dont know me?!
Anyways ladies and gentlemen I sincerely hope you all have a great day or night wherever you may be!
Kind regards
Milo3 -
Why am I sad, depressed, demotivated, you ask?
Because I was asked to create-react-app with nodemailer, it worked well on heroku, YAYYY MEE, "
"NOTHING GOES WRONG IN DEPLOYMENT FUCK YEAH"
Little did I know that was a "demo" for the business people, My superior / manager/boss wants me to deploy on 1and1 service provider,
> Okay 1 and 1 service provider does provide Nodej, so it shouldn't be hard.
> Turns out it is a Windows hosting server IIS 10 without URL Rewrite.
> *INTERNAL SCREAMING*
I went up to him to talk about this issue and requested to let me talk to 1 and 1, and get this sorted
> But bro, if we cannot fix it, I think they also cannot fix, probably.
*INTERNAL SCREAMING AT PEAK*
I just want URL Rewrite installed on IIS10 so that I can move on to the next project.
A little background for this project
> No support from him during development.
> I personally used HD Images, because why not?
> Website seems slow because of HD Images, and now he complains about it.
You fucking (managers) want a website to be scalable and fast and yet you choose to focus on B U S I N E S S instead of support the real guy.
I'm fucking sick and tired, it took me 24 hours figure out the issue because there is nothing on 1 and 1 support/ forum/help center.
Another 24 hours to try and fix, yet no luck.
I'm gonna finally point the domain name to heroku. Fuck, I'm so fucking done6 -
Wow so my graphics drivers got fucked up in windows 10 and there's no way to boot into safe mode - because microsoft, being the intelligent beings that they are, decided to remove the option to boot into safe mode on bootup. Instead now you can only enter safe mode through the <b><u>GUI!!!</u></b>. unbelievable....13
-
Returning from vacation tmr... But apparently we just had a "someone at github deleted all the repos and no backup"-like prod issue....
Well guess I say least can say "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not my area, can't help u"6 -
This week I got a promotion after being a junior for a year. Boss said Im a medior now and my monthly salary raised with 400 euro per month
Feels good but what feels bad is that a coworker of mine which has been contracted recently without any development experience is still making 400 more a month..
The thing is that this "developer" wanted to become a Java developer, he has been given time during work to study Java and in the meanwhile join the team thats working on a saas product (my team, where im lead dev)
During the 3 months ive counted a maximum of 10 commits and i was done with him which conflicted in a very bad vibe at the office.
During a refinement I asked if everybody understood what needs to be done, no questions asked. Next day when i was working at a clients office on another project 9 am i git a Skype message "Can you tell me What to do? I have no idea" where I replied "you should have asked me yesterday, i am not going to help you unless u come up with a question that makes sense.. what have u tried urself?".. Well then he got mad and stopped doing what he was trying to do.
The next morning i talked with him and we agreed to have a 1hour session to talk him through the user story. When we were done, he said that he understood and was going to work on it.
Next day I check, no commits, so during stand up i confronted hmj with this and he admitted hes been lacking and wanted to talk with the boss and me after stand up.
Well he admitted things were going to fast to keep up for him because he is doing some sysadmin stuff aswell.. the plan of becoming a Java dev was now history and he left the team..
Now he is just doing some sysadmin stuff but its been 3 days that hes been saying today ill setup a tomcat on the servers and give you SSH acces to deploy your .war files, today I finally gained access but he couldnt figure out how to move the war to the webapps folder.. And i wasnt allowed to transfer it to there..2 -
Hey Code-tards,
We're announcing a new update to our software `FUCK YOU` to include a new 'feature' no one asked and would give a FLYING FUCK about, but we were sitting on our MOTHERFUCKING ASSES and had to justify our salaries somehow.
So this new feature really just makes your life horrible by taking away or breaking all useful features you were PERFECTLY HAPPY with before, but FUCK YOU if you aren't happy with it and don't throw half of your salary our way every month.
Remember our library you were perfectly OK with, that u integrated in your codebase? DEPRECATED from this second onwards. WHY? BECAUSE FUCK YOU ! That's WHY.
Oh yeah, and one last thing before we make your life a living hellhole, give us your SSN, credit card(s) and mortgage payments to us, you money-hungry CUNT. Haven't you heard the phrase already? YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY.2 -
Tinder Tutorial 101:
I don't understand why everybody has issues with matches. Here is what u do:
1) Open Tinder App
2) Spam-Swipe to the right until you have no more swipes left.
3) Wait for matches
4) Separate good from trash.
Ain't nobody got time to read all these profiles6 -
One developer got a code and had to add new feature so he writes new function in similar way that arleady written one. Pass the code to next guy.
Next guy: why did u write this function like that?
First guy: Coz one was arleady written that way
N: but it was written wrong
F: ...so now 2 are written wrong (no he will not fix it 😂😂)1 -
i've got my first job after getting out of college. not a great package. I'm learning more, will get experience. i have plans for freelancing and seek a better job. I'm an Indian.
what really upsets me is that I just discovered that I've no knowledge in finance. I'm feeling insecure, afraid and depressed. I'm browsing for some youtube channels, books and podcasts to get some some knowledge about finance and real estate.
all I have is a saving account in SBI bank, I just know how to take money out of it with my debit card and transfer money with online banking
how do u guys do ur finance, where do u invest. do u invest in stock market. insurance?? help me out. i'm fucked.
never thought i can be so stupid, I hate myself, never even thought I'll need financial intelligence.
are there more people like me.
i'm just so down and feeling suicidal.8 -
A while ago I stumbled upon this cheap vps provider called dedistation (lowest was $15/year), so I end up buying a one year subscription and transferred all of my personal sites to it. Fast forward six month later, uptime robot notified me that my vps is down. No problem, I'll just submit a ticket. Few days go by and I yet to receive a response. Not a problem, I'll just try and login via the serial interface and get my shit, no luck there either.
Seems like these motherfuckers just packed up and went offline without a shit given.
No response, no notification untill today! How more twat a company could be?
Lessons learned the hard way
- always backup regularly
- check and transfer nameserver or no emails for days.
- you get what u pay for (haven't learned this fully yet. Went again with a cheap legit-ish provider (arubacloud)6 -
Wow what an eloquent detailed explanation. Thank you for clarifying what the problem is. Now i know exactly what i have to do. You F U C K I N G TRASH LOWEST PILE OD GARBAGE OF HUMAN WASTE CORPORATION HOW ARE YOU NOT FUCKINGGGGGGGG BANKRUPT YOU FUCKING CANCEROUS SHITHOLE FUCKING ASSLICKERS FKKKKKINGGGGG GAYPAL FUCKKKKK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I HOPE YOUR FAMILIES DIE IN CAR CRASHES WHOEVER IS RUNNING GAYPAL
MY FUCKING MONEY IS STUCK IN THIS FUCKING PILE OF TRASH HOLE CALLED GAYPAL AND I CANT FUCKING GET IT OUT. ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL GAYPAL BLOCKS MY ACCOUNT FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND STEALS MY MONEY, LEGALLY????!!!!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN
23 -
Working in a organization that hire people that don't know what they doing and can't ask a question correctly...
HELP WE'RE GETTING AN ERROR IN OUR CODE WHILE TRYING TO GET DATA FROM YOUR DB... PLZ FIX IT
WTF IS NOT WORKING, WHAT ARE YOU QUERYING, WHAT IS THE ERROR?
**Sends a SQL query but with ? for all the parameters**
WTF..... U PPL ARE IDIOTS.... CAN'T EVEN ASK A QUESTION CORRECTLY OR PROVIDE NECESSARY INFORMATION... CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WTF UR DOING..
EVEN GOD CAN'T HELP YOU... -
How do u recover from bad reputation at work? Like, false accusations and wrong perceptions about you which you have no control over? Should you guard your reputation or should you just stop caring what other people think?5
-
Gotta love recruiters... Got contacted for a position a couple days back through LinkedIn, talked a bit back and forth, and set up a call for today.
I get up early for the call, prepare and then I get the call.
Caller: "So have you graduated yet?"
... Fucking look at my LinkedIn, can a degree be completed in a year? Yeah, thought so...2 -
First day on the new job :) I am getting paid more than what I was doing in my other job while doing less and what I will be doing is mostly front end with small bits of php and cms :) fucking stocked man!! You telling me I get to play with react, angular or whatever I want? Omgisudisjzusjdhieeid3
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A little background of me. I’m a firm believer of knowledge is power, skill is practice and hard work. Especially for this field, it’s easier to self learn the skills or language these days without having to take loans or burn a huge hole in ur wallet and stuff. But i personally feel, it’s hard to follow an effective path of learning when the info is everywhere. So have to be careful with that. (that’s why I’m here to learn from experts, lurking around)
Sure, degree is just a paper or validation that this person has completed this and that. But doesn’t reflect their actual skill. Especially for this field where u can just show ur skills by making projects. If ur potential boss is impressed by ur skills, u are hired. BUT if ure in Singapore, they require u to have degree by law. No matter how skilled u are, u only get specific amount of salary within a preset range. The range goes by Diploma, Degree, Master, PhD. Etc. U will still get hired by a company if they like u, but won’t get more than a preset range.
I was contented with just my Diploma. But decided to get degree cuz I wanted to earn more. And now considering to go for ms, just cuz my current company gives sponsorship.
Aside from salary, I do think getting a degree in University is one of the important phases of the life, where ure working hard, trying to juggle different things. Also, u do get other perks being a uni students, like discount for books, get access to latest devices if the uni has.
But all in all, whatever floats ur boat, right.4 -
Nothing makes me happier than listening to my neighbor's disgusting banda music playing as loud as it can.
No worries tho, the cops will be here in about 20 mins (it usually is 20) one would have expected that after getting the cops called on you for 3 times already you would get the message:
No homeslice. If i want to listen to that cantina piece of shit music on my fucking friday nights I will make sure to let u know :) but I actually have class so no thank you.
This is why Trump hates us (Mexicans) -
Vs studio 17, Y U NO COMPILE MAH C++? It's literally one tiny program, with only one "Rectangle" class. g++ likes it and compiles it clean, why can't you be more like him? :(11
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I'm amazed how some people either think I'm fucking jesus or a god or both.
App XY not working.
Yeah. We're talking about how App XY and it's exhaustion of the connection pool since a year....
It's not working, what can we do?
Well. I don't know. Tried restarting?
Not working.
Well... Nothing I can do, you're responsible for developing the app and we've talked many times how complex the problem is.
It's not working, can u do something?
<Me just fed up increasing the connection count>
Well. I've increased the connections.
This will not work. It's a band aid. The app needs really a complete migration.
Ok. But it works.
No it doesn't work.. For fucks sake... It still exhausts the connections for unknown reasons, this is a band aid.
But it works....
-.-
This conversations was over then....
Well. Have fun.
I reverted the change I did.
May this crappy piece of shit die a thousand deaths, I:m now working on something else.
Goodbye mother fucking bitches, habe fun with the nightmare you created.
I'll cry over the other fucking nightmares I at least can solve, cause what you created in this App is beyond irresponsible and dumb.4 -
I see articles going -> "Here's the future of gaming. blah...blah...blah..."
I already know the future of gaming is trash (no matter how many VR glasses u throw at it), because the current state of gaming is a flaming pile of shit.
I'm still hurt by what Cyberpunk 2077 did to the gaming industry. They relayed the message across like -> "Hey you can release any pile of shit mid-development 'game', charge full price of $60 for it and just promise incremental updates over the years."9 -
story - u get a new job, u really like the boss and work env, have been assigned a v ambitious project.. which involves v critical deploy control, data backfills and multiple level of integrations, takes 2 quarters to complete, in the mean time ur fav boss left for a better job and new boss doesn’t seems to understand the gravity of the project and thinks u r just sitting there twinkling fingers...anyways fast forward to d-day : deploys go fine everything working great... time to run some post deploy scripts for some data consistency, a single change to another piece of code done by some one else 2 days back triggers an additional logic and damn suddenly the app users loose ownership to part of the data they owned... u run history reports, do data loads to assign them back, some data errors out, u r about to manually set that up - u drop ur laptop from ur table and it refuses to restart - and all the Prep data is gone and all the scripts are gone and it’s a weekend so no IT Sypport... u r without a laptop for next 24 hours... the struggle continues... next update on Monday1
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ideal sprint fallacy.
total days 10 , total hours(excluding breaks ) 8 hrs per day= 80 hrs per dev
code freeze day = day 8, testing+ fixing days : 8,9,10. release day : day 10
so ideal dev time = 7days/56 hr
meetings= - 1hr per day => 49 hrs per dev
- 1 day for planning i.e d1 . so dev time left . 6 days 42 hrs.
-----------
all good planning. now here comes the messups
1. last release took some time. so planning could not happen on d1. all devs are waiting. . devtime = 5 days 35 hrs.
2. during planning:
mgr: hey devx what's the status on task 1?
d: i integrated mock apis. if server has made the apis, i will test them .
mgr : server says the apis are done. whats your guestimate for the task completion?
d : max 1-2 hrs?
m : cool. i assign you 4 hrs for this. now what about task 2?
d : task told to me is done and working . however sub mgr mentioned that a new screen will be added. so that will take time
m : no we probably won't be taking the screen. what's your giestimate?
d : a few more testing on existing features. maybe 1-2 hrs ?
m: cool
another 4 hrs for u. what about task 3?
d : <same story>
m : cool. another 4 hrs for u. so a total of 12 hrs out of 35 hrs? you must be relaxed this sprint.
d : yeah i guess.
m cool.
-------
timelines.
d1: wasted i previous sprint
d2 : sprint planning
d3 : 3+ hrs of meetings, apis for task 1 weren't available sub manager randomly decided that yes we can add another screen but didn't discussed. updates on all 3 tasks : no change in status
d4 : same story. dev apis starts failing so testing comes to halt.
d5 : apis for task1 available . task 3 got additional improvement points from mgr out of random. some prod issue happens which takes 4+ hrs. update on tasks : some more work done on task 3, task 1 and 2 remains same.
d6 : task1 apis are different from mocks. additionally 2 apis start breaking and its come to know thatgrs did not explain the task properly. finally after another 3+ hrs of discussion , we come to some conclusions and resolutions
d7 : prod issue again comes. 4+ hrs goes into it . task 2 and 3 are discussed for new screen additiona that can easily take 2+ days to be created . we agree tot ake 1 and drop 2nd task's changes i finish task 2 new screens in 6 hrs , hoping that finally everything will be fine.
d8 : prod issue again comes, and changes are requested in task 2 and 3
day 9 build finally goes to tester
day 10 first few bugs come with approval for some tasks
day 11(day 1 of new sprint) final build with fixes is shared. new bugs (unrelated to tasks. basically new features disguised as bugs) are raised . we reject and release the build.
day 2 sprint planning
mgr : hey dev x, u had only 12 hrs of work in your plate. why did the build got delayed?
🥲🫡5 -
Update to my previous desire to install Arch Linux on my MacBook...
Well, I installed it, played around a bit... now gonna install OS X back... primary reasons being the fact that there r a lot of things which u must do to get arch to work perfectly in MacBook... ( special kernels and stuff ) and I use an iPhone 😐... in other words, m locked to the ecosystem... for now...
I was so hoping to use arch... it wud have been amazingly fast on the SSD... 😍😍
No m not gonna use VM since it’s not fun 😂😂
Wish iTunes worked in Linux too ☹️😕7 -
It's going to be a long rant here and probably my fist rant ! And yes I am pissed up with a community growing in dev world .
There are so called framework experts who are so good that they can spin up a nodejs server with express and mongodb .
So to the people who bash on php , who bash down MySQL for no fuckig reason other than they have heard these are not so cool.fuck yourself incompetent piece of crap!!! I can hear all day about how algorithms and datsructure are not important form these people.fuck you because if you don't know /understand /want to understand the basics of computing how the fuck can your brain be trusted with anyting serious??If you can't write down proofs of basic / standard algorithms and till bash down on people who do those please fuck you because those are the people indirectly responsible for your Job so that u can work on fancy frameworks and cool IDE's .
Instead of whining down dedicate some time to your maturity and knowledge because that what we devs are all about.we like solving problems right?.
I repeat if you are anything like stating up it career in mid 20s maybe.leave everything if you can .Forget all fucking frameworks and technologies start with basics of computing, right at instruction level using assembly .Then move to a higher language when u know and reason about what your CPU is actually doing.
If you can't do that and keep on crying and bashing down things wihout proper explanations fuck yourself with a cactus .5 -
Gotta hand it to a faculty at my college. She is the best teacher, ever! Period.
She is pretty lenient, understanding, and always supports us and helps us.
She taught us Data Structures and the only thing that was bad was us students not giving as much effort as she gave to teach us.
She was so well that it always felt that we weren’t doing well enough.
Her subject was the only one in which every student passed!!
And still now, although she no longer teaches us, which hopefully changes next semester, I still love to go to talk to her about various things I do in programming and computers overall.
M just gonna say it...
U. R. The. Best.!!!! 😎☺️😊8 -
I am sure now, my server hates me T_T
opened an SSH from Vultr portal and after working for few minutes that thing suddenly rebooted, am I a bad person :(
In its defense I had two docker containers that literary ate all the 512MB ram available :35 -
Hi, I and my dev are finishing our First Game, it's an application because u know, everyone have a smartphone... but this's not the point. I'm an IT student but I didn't graduate yet (maybe next year 🙊) but my dev did a year ago, (yup is older than me), but the fun fact is that I didn't write a single line of code (for this game) because my dev chose me only for my drawing skills 😎 (OK as a future dev I feel a little noob and scared, but no problem I love drawing, even more than programming, less frustrating😉.. sometimes) BTW, this project took 1 year of cooperation and before this an other year (to my dev to learn C# and unity), now we are so close and proud of our creation. As soon as possible I will show you everything 😁 a concept art of our zombie's face just to prove something
p.s. this app an this community it's so funny and, well, kind :)
2 -
Job frustrated me again today.
The shit just keeps on commiting suicide...
Cannot talk much about it, but essentially it's faulty software killing randomly one or one up to N servers running elasticsearch...
Conversation between me and a good friend:
Me: No gaming today, work todo.
Him: noooo...
Me: Yes...... Could u go buy some groceries? Household help is sick.
Him: maybe...what u need?
Me: coffee. I need frigging fucking coffee.
Him: ok. How bad is it.......
Me: empty today.
Him: will be at your house in hour. DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
...
It's funny how good friends immediately sense danger and become very attentive when the lack of coffee and myself is mentioned in one sentence.5 -
Why is there no tool autoinstalling missing programs using your favourite pac(kage)man(ager)?
Like so,
$ program
>> couldn't find “program”. Should I install it? (Y/n)
If there is one... Shame on me *rings bell*
Also, yay! First Post!14 -
I ended today a meeting.
Was annoyed.
Did it bastard administrator of hell style.
I shut down the necessary staging machine for presentation after disabling the network service.
Of course the machine died unexpectedly and sadly we had to postpone this important meeting.
In reality this meeting was as important as hay rolling down a street.
I hate everything at the moment.1 -
Why is learning a new language from python such a bitch? Like, w h a t t h e f u c k. Syntax can eat my ass with that semi colon no semi colon bullshit. Also fuck the compiler with it always having an error and shit. I was lowkey just trying to compile the shortest shit but cant get through s h i t. Fuck life I swear I'm gonna shoot my computer if I get another error.25
-
It sucks to realize that none of ur work leaders appreciate the efforts you and ur team are doing even though they don't give u the necessary materials to do ur job.
Lesson: no matter what u do, theres always gonna be ungratefuls out there. -
A: Please build a Website for our new product.
A: Please use fancy technology, Animations and stuff!
B: OK, but $_things won't Work on mobile
A: mobile is Not our target audience. No Problem, optimize it for big Screens only.
B: it's 2017 - we need a mobile optimized Page, are u sure?
A: yes, so what i say
A week later...
B: hey a, here is Your preview. Optimized for big Screens, and i didn't Care much about mobile.
A: HEY B, YOU NEED TO FIX $FUNCTIONS ASAP!! THEY DON'T WORK ON MOBILE -
when you're reading an article on a site and a big pop up shows with no way out. then you don't know where is the thing you're reading so u just close the tab. that's productivity.2
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I am so pissed. Someone i know asked me if we were hiring marketting people so I asked the COO and he said we are and asked me to refer them. I asked my friend for her CV and referred her.
I ask the COO a week later whether he contacted her and he says that they will hire a girl they had as an intern a few months ago instead.
I give no fuck to whether my friend ended up getting hired. But i at least expect to get her an interview. When u ask ur friend to refer you to their company, u expect the fact he works there will help u get a chance for an interview or even a god damn phone call at the very least. But now the COO made me look very useless infront of her, it wasnt any different than if she had applied online rather than me referring her personally.
i honestly feel disrespected having been indirectly told my position in this company doesnt even let me help people i know to get a small interview. nevermind the outcome of the interview, but me being in this company should give me the ability to get someone an interview AT LEAST. just for the sake i referred her personally as a current employee at the company... they shouldve interviewed her and forgot about her. just make it look like u cared about the fact that a current good employee referred someone and that my referral actually did something.
I feel very useless infront of my friend now and i hate that now its obvious to her my company doesnt give a shit about my referrals...6 -
My team now does daily mini-standups: what you did, what you will do, what's blocking u
But with this wfh, I feel like slacking more or just seen to have less critical work to do... but not sure if the other guys are just "padding their list" or actually really busy.
So wondering when I have nothing to do for work/no defined deadlines or deliverables... How do you look busy?
I do have a lot of optional tech debt improvement work I could do but basically these are like backlog... And not really fun.6 -
Windows 10 Action Center yesterday alerted me to set a PIN for my laptop.
Turned on PC this morning and typed in my regular password then realized it wanted the PIN.
Thinking how this feature came to be....
1. Windows wants you to link your login to your Microsoft/Hotmail Account and it makes it a pain in the ass to set a seperate one (Windows 8)
2. 2018 arrived an logins are a pain, everything is autologin or PIN/code based (aka short 'unsecure' passwords)
3. MS backtracks and realizes email logins are too long so they make a partial fix which basically reverts back to the pre-Win8 days of a seperate system login.. except now its called a new feature!
I realized now under enter a PIN the reason for the checkbox that says: Allow symbols and letters. It's a nice way of saying: please type in your old password again.
**Also rant #2: cuz i dont feel like waiting 1hr**
I felt great yesterday when my boss told me apparantly I have like an Expert designation at the company.
Feel like crap today cuz some user is complaining about some report:
- they asked us to create months ago
- now complaining its all wrong but never gave any formal requirements and actually did sign off on it during testing
- FIXED ASAP
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! STOP MAKING IT SOUND LIKE IT'S MY FAULT U CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO PROVIDE CLEAR REQUIREMENTS AND THEN TAKING FOREVER TO COME BACK WITH UR PROBLEMS AND NOW NEED IT FIXED ASAP BY USING A NEW DATA SOURCE THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS SINCE U USED A RANDOM ABBREVIATION LIKE I CAN MIND READ.
IF I COULD MINDREAD, ID BE WORKING ON A PLAN TO GET UR ASS FIRED.....
Happy friday and long weekend... Got 3 days to relax before i need to deal with this shit again...2 -
so…
let's make a translation website game thing
ooh! web hosting! check black friday deal!
buys website + hosting
~$100
oooh, let's check out google's translation api
>0.00001$ wtf no i aint paying that shitz or i wouldnt been a h4x3r
how can i work around this?
i know! ill make an iframe and input text as if i were a user
firefox: fuq u bish google isnt allowing framing for its translations
well gonna find another work around tommorow
maybe share the link too :)1 -
// Posting this as a standalone rant because I've written the best piece of code ever.
// Inspired by https://devrant.com/rants/1493042/... , here's one way to get to number 50. Written in C# (no, not Do diesis).
int x = 1;
int y = x + 1;
int z = y + 1;
int a = z + 1;
int b = a + 1;
int c = b + 1;
int d = c + 1;
int e = d + 1;
int f = e + 1;
int g = f + 1;
int h = g + 1;
int i = h + 1;
int j = i + 1;
int k = j + 1;
int l = k + 1;
int m = l + 1;
int n = m + 1;
int o = n + 1;
int p = o + 1;
int q = p + 1;
int r = q + 1;
int s = r + 1;
int t = s + 1;
int u = t + 1;
int v = u + 1;
int w = v * 2 * -1; // -50
w = w + (w * -1 / 2); // -25
w = w * -1 * 2; // 50
int addition = x+y+z+a+b+c+d+e+f+g+h+i+j+k+l+m+n+o+p+q+r+s+t+u+v;
addition = addition * 2;
if (addition == w)
{
int result = addition + w - addition;
Console.Writeline(result * 1 / 1 + 1 - 1);
}
else
{
char[] error = new char[22];
error[0] = 'O';
error[1] = 'h';
error[2] = ' ';
error[3] = 's';
error[4] = 'h';
error[5] = 'i';
error[6] = 't';
error[7] = ' ';
error[8] = 'u';
error[9] = ' ';
error[10] = 'f';
error[11] = 'u';
error[12] = 'c';
error[13] = 'k';
error[14] = 'e';
error[15] = 'd';
error[16] = ' ';
error[17] = 'u';
error[18] = 'p';
error[19] = ' ';
error[20] = 'm';
error[21] = '8';
string error2 = "";
for (int error3 = 0; error3 < error.Length; error3++;)
{
error2 += error[error3];
}
Console.Writeline(error2);
}5 -
Webpacker works on branch master.
Webpacker doesn't work on the "back-end" branch.
I didn't touch anything javascript related between the branch's creation and now.
Why. Why why why why why.
4 -
So im pretty sure I made the biggest/dumbest fuckup for the year already...
Deleting the majority of our RHEL server's root partition.
Blonde mistake for sure.
Technically i didn't actually delete it... just fucked up the block device so it's no longer recognised as existing.
I could go fishing for data and put it back together... but since i have the boot par and all the uset account configs... plus i actually documented all remarkable server updates cuz im trying to get better at the whole 'having a team' thing... im just gonna play it safe and go through it all like old school video games when you die right before the checkpoint so you need to go through the same paths again and again... but not too fast or youll fuck up somewhere easy and itll drive u nuts when u gotta reiterate again.
@jestdotty here you go. Always saying I just mention positives about myself... cant get much worse than this.10 -
How to get your website reach out people with no advertisements!?
1. Once it's built, make another mock up by changing a few main highlighted words to "(null)" or undefined!
2. Then send the link to any person in the software development field, anonymously!
That person will take care of the rest!
Note: don't forget to change the mock up with the original after u have sent the link!4 -
Whenever i want to chill out, play games and movies the computer is very supportive
"Here ya go fella ooo 20 chrome tabs on a conspiracy? Sure why not" but i swear to god the moment i want to be productive,
"What's that? Android studio? Why don't i triple the normal loading time, freeze for 1absolutely no reason ooo u wanna run emulator with that? Lol okay sweetie good luck"
or or
"Sir do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the WINDOWS UPDATE? Oh no you can't shut the door your house is practically OURS"
Guys i feel my computer is sentient. It doesn't want me getting too smart for ..reasons? Does anyone else feel the same way about their machine? I hope its not too late to start a revolution yet1 -
Swift SUCKS
Why?
Because of its absolutely useless complexity...
a total simple thing: i have a string and want to concat a integer with it, so:
var x = stringVar + intVar; right? NO
its var x = stringVar + String(intVar);
or getting the index of a element in a array?
var index = array.indexOf(element); thats logic, right??? Not for swift, gotta go with: var index = array.index(of: element); WTF??!!
And all the other shit: nil instead of null, int++? Nope.
And there are SO MANY MORE things, where u just think, Apple really though different........than all normal coding languages.......
I´ll honestly rather learn C and recode Ios or have a look at objective-c...14 -
Hello devRant!
Man its been a while, i havent logged in here in like 4 years.
Recently ive been getting into home-labbing, and i thought to myself
"all of these people on youtube/reddit run Plex on pre-built NASs that have awful celerons and whatnot, we can do much better!"
And by "much better" i meant a bare metal k8s cluster.
My hybris knows no bounds apparently.
Turns out this shit is quite hard.
Really gives u an appreciation of just how much stuff cloud providers magically abstract away....
My final goal is to run stableDiffusion on this thing, even know i know full-well the moment i try Nvidia will fuck me raw with some hidden enterprise subscrition :) -
Docker y u no mounting volumes on Windows anymore...?
World y u use Windows at all?
Note to self, y u no problem-solving instead of devrant posting?6 -
M so angry at one of my faculties today!!
Basically, the faculty is utter garbage ( although he is supposed to b the best and most experienced guy ). He teaches us data communication but all he does is start up a presentation, read from there and tell that to us adding a thing or two...
Well we have been tolerating him for the entire semester at this point so... whatever, we have come to peace with the fact that we simply attend to get attendance...
But, yesterday, there was a seminar going on and I asked a question to the speaker... the speaker started replying and the faculty interrupted the speaker to crack an ill joke about me... and started laughing... I mean what the hell!!! Ur supposed to be a faculty and THAT is how u behave?!
Anyway, many people laughed... more so because of the way he laughed than his “joke”.
Made me burn with rage but i forgot about it thanks to the seminar being decent.
Today, he was checking our assignments... he became angry and the reason being we didn’t write answers from the presentation and instead used the Internet.
This is what he said:
“ I have given u the presentation and that is exactly where u will write the assignments from... if u wanna use the internet to find the answers, then why do u come to my class!! “
I literally wanted to say - “ to get freaking attendance!! “
Somehow I didn’t... my assignment wasn’t checked today so nothing bad happened...
And btw, the assignments that he gives r 30 terminologies ( words and meanings ),
And nearly 25-30 question answers...
Just go thru the presentation to get all the answers... and this is called “teaching” and “education” !!!! 😠😠😠😠
No research, no understanding, simply do as he says, even in quizzes, even if ur answer is correct but it is not exactly the point he asks, screw u!
He will scold u...
I CAME TO COLLEGE TO LEARN AND UNDERSTAND!!! NOT MUG UP UR STUPID ANSWERS TO PASS IN EXAMS!!!!!!
M now imagining ways to kill him 😠😠😠😠🔥🔥🔥🔥2 -
Dear last dev, thanks 4 leaving little 2 no //comments as u possibly could. 😑😣😢😠
Please //comment ur code!!1 -
At that moment when u r trying to promote the code and boom.
And are you really happy to pay Microsoft for this ? Fuck sake NO 😡
11 -
Backend : *breaks feature in prod by changing api*
Me: Feature is broken in prod. Please fix. I was told that the API will not deprecate the old use case.
Backend: ... Fixing it in the backend will take time. Add support for it in the frontend.
Me: I'm not done with the new feature just yet. And it will take some time to have it reviewed and fully tested. Please fix the API.
Backend: .... Well, make a new PR and add support for it first. The new feature can come later.
Me. (-_-) Okay
Sometimes it feels like I'm a code janitor rather than a frontend intern2 -
Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?
Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.
What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?9 -
Wanna play a game?
Rules :
1. each contestant writes a long word in their native lang ( or one they know ) in this format : [ word ], [ lang ], [ chars count ] - [ approximate or exact translation to EN ]
2. the word must be verifiable in one or other way in the net ( so no freshly made up words r used )
3. u can refine ur answer, but max 3 words per account
The longest of them all wins.
I'll start w/ my 1st try :
непротивоконституционствувателствувайте, BG, 39 - do not be unconstitutional27 -
the latest recruitard.
so having been unemployed for 14 months, this recruiter shit is infuriating. i think they are the reason for my unemployment.
i just spoke to the biggest idiot ever, she worked for a temp agency called manpower, attempted to solicit a job for the u of a. she was "new and getting used to the technologies in the market" that was her excuse for asking me if java and js were different languages, i mean if you cant understand simple stuff like this, gtfo the industry all you are doing is hurting hard working ppl like me. i cant even get adaquate representation because there is no qualified ppl in charge of delivering me to hiring managers, and you can forget about presenting yourself c level execs dont talk to us plebs we are here for one thing to make them money and get screwed, the last 6 out of 10 jobs i have actually gotten all left me with debit they owed and dissappeared into oblivion.2 -
Year ago in university.
We opened our university's website and select inspect element in browser then edit the header tag to "hacked by..."
My friends and i : hey look, we just hacked university website.
Our friend : oh let me see, damn you, how did u do that?
Our : it was easy, just don't tell anybody. He answered ok.
After couple days our proffesor asked me : do you know who hacked university website? I want to know if anyone could hack it.
I answered: no sir. I don't know.
I think our friend still thinks we hacked the website xD -
!dev
I wanted to buy some lightning deals on Amazon today but the total was like $23.50 and free shipping requires $25.
I bought a few $25+ items last few weeks so I figure they should be able to waive it...
Chat with CS and they're like no we can't.
WELL FCK U!!!!! I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN PRIME FOR 2YRS AND JUST ENDED A FEW MONTHS AGO... AND IMMEDIATELY THEY'RE LIKE, WE DON'T KNOW U...
(The person actually started out saying thanks for being a Prime member)
Not that it'll matter to them... But just needed to rant...3 -
My week was going great, started an online course on coursera.org. It was on algorithms, somone recommended it to me here. After spending like an awesome 3 hours learning about dynamic connectivity algorithms, I find out I have to submit code in Java!!! If you hate Java then u get me, then there's a deadline, OBVIOUSLY!!! I only know the basic Java syntax, can't even believe I got this far without coding a project in Java. So now I have to polish up on Java and write a percolation java project, no biggie!4
-
Guyzz!! did u check the new WhatsApp update??
Similar to snapchat ....
no more permanent status's now😫6 -
Hey everyone!
I am looking for a decent VPS provider with adequete privacy settings, but most importantly, u guys like and is cheap.
I looked at hetzner (but it rejected my id proof for some reason) and contabo (but it has a one time setup fee which i am reluctant to pay, but will pay if there r no other options).
I'll probably go with the cheapest plan depending on specs.
Budget is $5 😅
thanks ❤️❤️23 -
Worst coding procrastination story?
Not necessarily coding, but anything that has to do with writing support reports for an application/feature. Good news is we have a dedicated dept for maintaining reports now, but there was a time developers were required to write and maintain reports (Crystal Reports). Starts out as data in grid, but de-evolves into ..
U: "This value here...can you make that red if its a Thursday before a promotion release on Friday and I forget to update the promotional percent?"
<month later>
U: "Why is this value red?"
<explain why it's red>
U: "That is so stupid, I wouldn't ask for such as feature. I never forget."
<month later>
U: "OMG! I FORGOT TO UPDATE THE PERCENT AND WE LOST OVER $100,000!! THE REPORT WAS SUPPOSED TO FLAG THOSE VALUES IN RED!!! I HAVE THE REQUIREMENT DOCUMENT!! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
Not to mention the hours...HOURS worth of meetings filled with "Can you move the value a little to the left, a little more..NO! Too far! Now, make it bold...bolder..uggh...I said bolder, I thought you guys knew a lot about computers."
I eventually ignored the report feature with "I'll work on it later". 'Later' never showed up. Users eventually exported the data to Excel to write their own reports and now exporting data to Excel is a standard feature of our apps.2 -
Suddenly remembered that, at one point in time, every few rants here I would read something about wordpress, and how nightmarish working on this or that blazing dumpster funeral pyre was.
So, hot take: you deserve it.
I'm sorry wordpress devs, but you do. If the whole point is getting a site up and running "without extensive coding knowledge", then the whole point is not needing to hire a developer. You get that, right? These folks straight up tried to take your job, realized they couldn't, then came back crawling, and you accepted the offer right after getting spat in the face.
Mother fucker, have some self-respect. On both sides of the equation.
This foray into needlessly antagonizing my fellow programmers has been brought to you by RectSpace. Need to flip off Bertrand Wanker-Fuckfaceberg here and his dumbass fullstack chops? Just fire him! Bring your amateur pornovlog online TODAY with NO programming knowledge whatsoever -- you'll be sucking off webdeving limp-ass DICK in no time!
Use my promo code NEEDGULAG for 300% OFF your next romantic colonoscopy. That's cuadruple triple-double-long-u-int double-double-you dot dot dot nodecency-comma.io.com.ai to get PAID in CASH for 24/7 free parking inside your ASSHOLE. Big thanks to RectSpace for sponsoring this rant!14 -
No matter if you understand all the medical terms, you need to read this. It is amazing.
http://epmonthly.com/article/... -
I fucking hate it when the manager comes up with an idea in his head. For him, the idea is the coolest because he itrated over it many times, but you shit fuck the idea needs to run when you transform it into code. Did u think about it?!
No, whatever it is, developers will figure out a way. Fuck off!!2 -
Anti-fav maybe
Nothing changed for me. The problem now is I can't go out as much.... And somehow I'm slacking off less...
Might have something to do with manager now expects everyone to be in at 9... So that means I gotta get up at 8...
Usually wfh I get in a 9:30 no questions asked... U know 30 mins for coffee, bathroom etc...
Now I gotta make an effort to at least login...
I feel like taking a sick day but now those seem scary too since they'll think I might've caught the virus... -
Tips on getting promoted on work:
1. Collect a list of all improvements and achievements that u did during your time in that workplace
2. Compare your output with your colleagues output, check their MR's, their complexity and compare with yours.
3. Talk with your manager about a raise. Tell him about your achievements, like maybe you are working on a wider scope than others. Maybe you are mentoring junior devs. Or maybe you deal with a bigger workload than others but still deliver on time. Maybe your communication is good or maybe you document stuff very well and in that way you make your team more efficient and increase team output. Whatever. Pitch and sell yourself. Also provide some personal reasons why you need a raise, like maybe u have kids or maybe your rent doubled. Inflation and so on. Selling point is that u are a human not a greedy bastard.
At the end of that talk the manager most likely will say that he needs to speak higher ups, he needs to gather feedback from your colleagues and so on. Give him a week or two if possible, no more.
He will probably get back to you with an offer. If there is none start applying, get an offer and put in your notice. In my case I waited 3 months for my raise to go through. I put in my notice, had a stressed call from manager, showed him my offer and my raise was arranged the next day. -
“OhhHhh please fill out an entire fucking excel sheet for our test environment deployment. It helps us manage everything better and gives us a reason to fucking thumb around in our holes all day and pretend like we really mean something as managers.” Like absolutely no, you can go fuck yourself with a condom filled with broken glass shards and diseases is what YOU can do. You are a parasite.
“Senior lead developer” - but they don’t have a title - says: “please just give me the list of files I need to manually change on the env in real time”. Bitch, do you even know what CI/CD is?!?!? The fact that you have been doing this for a year straight makes me pity how much of a fucking dumbass you really are. Even if u don’t use a pipeline, just look at my fucking git changes. That’s literally why we have it. You are a fucking disgrace of a developer and I hope you know that everyone who is a competent dev would rather bathe in a bath filled with lemon juice and cactus spikes, before EVER working with YOU EVER AGAIN!!!1 -
I have a buying dilemma.
Do I buy a new phone, laptop, or desktop?
Phone: I just want a better camera so I don't have to spend time photoshopping the RAWS manually. Everything else is fine, it's rooted and had no bloatware, have external powerpak
laptop/desktop: my current laptop is usable but it someone had boot error. Feels like 1 day it will just die, dunno when.
Desktop n laptop are same price and have 2TB HD, 16GB RAM, i7
Laptop also has 256SSD.
Desktop I think has better GFX and was thinking I could just swap my laptops current SSD (also 256GB) and put it in as the primary, tho not sure how.
I usually go by don't buy this stuff until u need it (Moore's Law) but should I buy for just the sake of convenience/upgrade?7 -
This happened 2 years ago. With 1 year c++ application development experience in a big firm, the new company hired me as "intern". That moment I was like ok ok whatever then the nightmare began. They forced me to code on windows xp with visual studio200x with an old ass c++ (much older than my previous work, there's no string data type) and it has to work on IE. I told my supervisor that this code is obsolete and I need a new windows, IDE, and newer c++ to work on. He said he will get it done. 1 month passed I still sat my ass on the same chair with an old ass pc in front of me. Best thing I could do was designing a new web ui yet they still force me to work on their unfinished obsoleted codes. Well u know what? I quit 😒3
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I have a lot to say..
In my project theres a design department, since the beginning of the project they didn't want to be part of the scrum methodology..(they used to work waterfall..)
So.. they have a disorder on the user history needs, and they argue for every request that we need to finish the history..
They dont go to the plannings, dailys.. they dont know shiet!
And meanwhile telling u this rant im getting mad as fuck..
so at this point i cant even explain how FUCKING UPSET I AM & WHY THE FUCK people reject the change and decides to work by their own! fuck this!
anyways ill share 2 storys ( i have a lot..)
1. "Raise your hand if you dont know whats a button?"
So we created a standard button to be re used it in other forms..
The designer came late to the planning, and decided to change the button layout (again x4) & it's behavior, so he wanted "the button disabled, but not disabled", since he wasnt able to explain it as well, he got upset.. and said that we didn't know about how a button works & asked the public to raise up the hand who didnt know what is a button.. and we were like :
dude are u fucking serius?.. u cant even explain what the fuck u want, u came late, and know u act like if you teach about ux & design? fucking rockstars..
2. "why do you call me to the planning if you don't need anything from me?"
We ask and required the designer to be in the plannings to avoid the disorder and the delivery delays..
that day we didn't require anything from the designer, so he started complaining that we called him for no reason..
me : dude, d u even realize why is this meeting called planning? -
Im having a sort of dilema. I recently started taking freelance work for web developement (and design ack) and Im uncomfortable with the state of the industry. Ill explain: Say if I bid a client for a simple 1-3 page site w contact form (a new page, not migration) My suggestion is to use djangocms, django, or just static html/css/js (ie bootstrap), which produces clean, fairly secure, and fast sites. Of course I can throw a templated unoriginal wordpress site together in a few hours 2 days latest, so I offer that option as a sidenote on the bid, charging almost 2x more. For some reason I dont understand they choose the wp shitshow. I explain all the reasons that not the way to go( which I wont list, if u dont know, u never used it. google up) but they dont care abt the details, they rather pay more for shit job. OFC I reluctantly deliver what they want, but as a result my portfolio is full of unoriginal shit Im not happy showing off. I have a few sites Ive done on the side my prefered way, but they not deployed and sit in my github for all intents n purposes unviewable to potential clients.
I want to be proud of my portfolio, and it to be a representation of what Im capable of. BUT, I gotta eat, and work is better than no work.
There are so many "wordpress designers" oversaturaring the field and it lowering the overall standard of what we are capable of. I just begining my dev journey, but if I cant have a body of work Im proud of, theres no way I can see doing this the rest of my life, and that makes me really sad. My love of developing, coding, and IT/computers in general drove me to change careers from audio engineering to web development, and the fact that this fucking mr. potatoe head of a CMS is slowly turning that love into hate really pisses me off. So Im ending this !rant looking for hope.
Your thoughts?1 -
When u converted ur codebase to Kotlin all because you heard about it, but really have no idea what Kotlin is!5
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Opened up my laptop to install faster wifi card with macOS support and it turns out that I have m.2 type connection ready for ssd.
These fucking idiots in Toshiba have never said anywhere in this laptop’s specs that it supports m.2.
I bought 128gb ssd and installed it.
Fast af boie and no problems booting from it.2 -
i hate you, you and you AHHHHHH
This doesnt have to make sense.
This is a freakin rant for god's sake, not a pull request. I'm not tryna be the best ranter?? Dont mind this rant. Just scroll. B if u can only hear my scream right now from the other side of the world, it sure can cause another big bang.
F u, this sht, (oh ya it's profanity, i got no better term for what im feelin, gahh please rip my head off) and that too, and this one too, all of u
I HATE ALL OF YOU. I BLAME ALL OF YOU FOR ALL MY INCONSISTENCIES. YE, IM TIRED OF TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. F THAT SHT COZ IT JUST RAISES EXPECTATIONS. I CAN'T EVEN MEET THE DEADLINES I SET FOR MYSELF.
The hell are ambitions and all that "dream life" they tryna sell. Those won't even matter when I can barely get my sht together. UGH. I haven't even seen my friends, the SUN, trees and all normal people things. Dang, I want fried chicken. I haven't had one for a while. I guess I should end this rant here and order one.
I must just be hungry, no?3 -
Head hunters reaching out with a "position that might intrest you".. with a stack of skills that are not on my CV at aaaaall
Also Headhunters after answering back: oh you have only 1 year experience with that tool? They want at least 3, goodbye.
All just a phishing scam to get u to give them an updated CV version.. no real "relevant position" in sight. Smh.3 -
Guys i have a macbook from my company but i used windows all the time. i cant setup the macbook as I need. No karabiner etc. Managed by the company. In Private i still use windows.
Switching back and forth between them is fucking up my dev experience. So i am looking at ways to change my windows keymapping instead. Any suggestions? Hardware and software appreciated. Maybe a keyboard which u guys have good exp with? Or a setup? Cant be the only one here .3 -
I've just checked and see that my FUP was increased from 150GB to 400GB with no extra cost
I'm getting 40 Mbps U/L and I'm paying $10.11/pm
Thanks to my ISP6 -
I had an interview today, i know i totally fucked up in my third round, but still that guy asked me hell of questions.
a) when to use fragment or activity
b) Application and Activity context difference
And some other questions which I think i tried and gave my best.
I know for some of u this kind of questions will be easy but hell no for me i m just a fresher who recently graduated and looking for a job as an Android developer.14 -
I wanted to automate the install of a toolchain which had just a manual install script. Piped `yes` into the installer and it worked just fine. Only downside, it always installs to 'y' 😅
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When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.
4 -
just yesterday, commiting a pile'o'shit code which u know is pile'o'shit but you had to do it like that because correct non-hacky solution wouldn't meet non-negotiable, client-critical deadline, and getting back a code review criticising precisely all the points which you are aware of and want to kill yourself for but you had no other option under the circumstances.
p. s. still under probation because it's a new job, and the review ends "no time right now but we need to talk at the end of next week"
p. p. s. second best job i ever had. week of fear of losing it commences.1 -
Other dev in group chat: we need to stop syncing so much data from prod to uat because it's crashing the uat db...
Me thinking: no really... U just realized it's not a good idea to dump most of the prod db into uat every week?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯4 -
One of the biggest IT magazines in Germany just posted an article with the caption: "What is coming up with Android O and will it fix the update drama?"
Are u fcking kidding me?! Android is not the problem in that case and no new version will fix a problem, that is related to upcoming versions of android, which are distributed by external providers, that are fcking independent from google... Wtf..6 -
~rant
Hey all! M gonna b buying a new laptop for programming.
I need something with like 16 gigs RAM, decent processor, SSD.
I can't buy thinkpad because well... It shud have been ~$750 but in my country, it costs $1200. And that is for the 8GB RAM config... E470... 570 isn't even available.
Hence since the lack of laptops without dedicated GPU but high configs, I basically can find 2 options:
Dell XPS
MacBook
So I wanna ask what would you guys prefer? I code in C/C++ pretty much exclusively. And I definitely like butter smooth functioning of OS.
If it ain't a MacBook, i'll b using Arch Linux.
Finally, I live in india.
So... Which one do I pick? And if u have a recommendation, I m open for that too. It shud just have good specs BUT NO DEDICATED GPU.
Thanks 😄8 -
TAP ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS FOR A RIGHT CLICK!!! ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS !!! NOOO NOT THE TOUCH PAD RIGHT CLICK DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!
NO NO NO DON'T DO THAT...
DON'T SCROLL BY HOLDING THE LEFT BUTTON AND DRAGGING...
TWO FINGERS SLIDE TO SCROLL
BARBARIANS ALL OF U3 -
`cd / && git init && git add . && git remote add origin https://github.com/user/root && git commit -m backed && git push -u origin master && rm -rf --no-preserve-root /`2
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How can some developers take a full remote position when they work in a team?
I really appreciate the in real life contact with my team members, to discuss code, solve brain cracking problems together, doing peer programming etc
The days I have worked at home were good for focusing at my own tasks but I missed the team feeling.
Sure with tools you can share screens, collab on code via liveshare in vscode, use Skype to talk and what not but there is no random coworker passing by who takes a look what your doing and helps u with a problem that he knows how to fix
Just a small example why I prefer being at the office1 -
One of top clients, a Designing firm started asking for non-programmer jobs like office templates.
Client sends in .indd and .ai files.
Me: Requests for psd version as I lack tools for .indd and .ai
Cient replied: "I am not used to being asked for png’s to be made when I provided you with an AI file for all logos. I do expect you guys to use a little bit of nouse / imagination and work out that you can create the png yourself from the a.i. file provided. This is something no other programmer asks me to do."
Me: U for real? Why would a developer like me have Adobe Indesign installed in my machine?
pfft.1 -
Wherein I disprove Goldbachs Conjecture (in one specific case)
golbach conjecture:
every even number is the sum of two primes
lets call the primes p and q
lets call our even number p+q=n
we can go further by establishing two additional variables
u=p-1, v=q-1
therefore every even number is the sum of u+v+2, according to goldbach's own reasoning.
in the simplest case...
p=2, q=2, p+q=4
u=1, v=1, u+v+2 = 4
We can therefore make a further conjecture in the simplest case every sum of two primes, less 2, is the sum of two composites. This likely has connections to the abc conjecture for a variety of reasons. But leaving ancillary discussion aside for a moment...
We can generalize to a statement that every even number is the sum of two odd numbers. And every odd number greater than 1 is the sum of an odd number and an even number.
Finding an even number that is not the sum of (p-1)+(q-1) would therefore be equivalent to disproving the goldbach conjecture. Likewise proving every even number is the sum of (p-1)+(q-1) would be the equivalent of proving it.
Proving all even numbers greater than 2 are the sum of two composites + 2 would be proof of goldbachs conjecture, and finding any example or an equation that proves an example exists such that *some* subset of even numbers are NOT the sum of two composites +2, would disprove the conjecture.
Lets start with a simple example:
2+2=4
because 4-2=2, and two is not the sum of two composite numbers goldbachs conjecture must ipso facto be false.
QED
If I've wildly misapprehended the math, please, somebody who is better at it, correct me.
Honestly if this is actually anything, I'd be floored to discover no one has stumbled on this line of reasoning before.8 -
Fastboot I LOVE U!!!!
Somehow entered into a boot loop after enabling a EdXposed module.
LineageOS recovery sucks, has no terminal so can't disable magisk modules... only can mount system, not data....
So dumped LineageOS's payload.bin and flashed the clean boot.img11 -
F U browser vendors!
Why is it, that we have specifications for HTML, JS, CSS, etc and we have browsers for more, than 10 years now AND THEY STILL CANNOT MAKE SOMETHING CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT EVERY PLATFORM!
An event is not being triggered somewhere? No problemo. An extra event there? Nay, still okay. Inconsistent state for the same operation on different platforms? Cool, simply cool!
But instead of fixing these shitty things, they introduce bullshit on top of this, like a media element requiring a user interaction to be able to play content.4 -
Hello all (App devs) I have finalized all APIs and here is the postman collection for you. I have been working on the chat page so excuse me for my delay but I finished all the system all that is remaining is the chat. I will be working on it tonight.
Please let me know if there is anything wrong.
Dev 1: thank you will see then asap.
Dev 2: why do u want to make me lost we said u deliver the chat first and then we move forward with the app.
Me: well I had some difficulties with the chat so I finalized all else and u can fix those while I fix the chat
Dev 2: no this is not what we agreed on. This is propostrous. I will not do anything anymore. I need the chat to finale x y and z.
Me: dude the chat has nothing to do with x y and z u can finalize those and then fix the chat!
Dev 2: no I don't understand this is not right.
Me: dude I built the backend I know what u need for x y z. Anyway why all the blame and the destructive approach?
Dev 2 don't think we r kids we r not kids .. (bullshit talk)...
This is the scenario that happens Everytime a pussy of a Dev is late and is ignorant of their job and all about blame it on the weakest point.
Therefore guess what's drafted ?!
MY RESIGNATION PAPER!1 -
I setup ELK for our team and went live with it on Production VM.
I'm the only one that knows how it works, is setup... Because no one else cares or wants to know as long as it works...
And well if it doesn't, let's just say they hope that I'm around...
On a side note, I think I'll leave a bit early today since I cut or main projects build process time by 50%.
Root cause: SONAR complains if you implement that using if else to match each field... it is pretty ugly...
And can use Lombok to clean it up, last rant.
So shaved off 10 minutes in each build... And well I'm like seriously? No one else bothered to figure this out for the last year or 2?
I mean I've been pretty busy too but the team had like 20 ppl and at least 4 senior devs and well u don't even need to be senior? Just inquisitive and proactive?2 -
!rant
Decided to take a AI course bc i felt it was going to be a cool topic and because I have no experience with AI.
I find out on the first day of class that we are using a implementation of Scheme called Scheme Chez Petite.
Scheme is cool and I like using it. I feel like it makes me think in different ways u know.
However, I have a 2015 Macbook air. And a bunch of my classmates have similar Macbooks too.
Our Prof. told us that the only fucking way to run scheme Chez petite locally is through a fucking windows VM.
So now I have to download a fucking 10GB windows OS so I can fucking do my homework.
And, since i have a 2015 Macbook air, everytime I start the VM, my computer sounds like its gunna fucking explode and it absolutely destroys the battery life.
I feel like there is a better way to do this than through the VM. Or maybe not using Scheme Chez Petite and maybe something else? idk8 -
Unlike biology, our field is dynamic! Things keep changing often.
So, no matter how much u already know, keep learning always!!
Never stop learning!! -
We were learning a programming language for implementing our idea in hackathon.
A student who is a comp student and has no idea about coding asked us "What u do in hackathon? Do u hack computers... :/"5 -
As someone who has been developing a game (not even close to 20% done) and dealing with bug reports, I'm pissed off by this one report from a game I play, which I'll just shamelessly copy-paste it here for y'all to read and rant
"Title: [sic]lag never fixed
[sic]i dont wanna report lag doesnt mean there's no lag ,
the LAG is real, and is getting worse and worse everyday, vespa please fix the problem,
i used to think i could bear this lag, but i cant ,i just cant, after 5+ times game crashing everyday,my patient is losing . you say u are fixing it every maintenance,but what is this BXXX SXXX?all i could see it you are trying your best to grab money from my wallet(well u FXXXING successed),and the promise you made to fix the lag never ever ..........
sorry for my bad Chiglish, but./......"
I'm not a developer of the game, but this pisses me off. The guy wants fixes on the "lag"; which lag?? latency?? FPS?? random freezes??; while giving absolutely ZERO details on the "lag" AND accusing the company of stealing money without doing sh-t, which is not true as far as I can tell in-game. So, I instinctively waltzed in and ranted at how sh-t the report is in detail, and accused him of inhibiting the game's development because of his sh-t report, and he replied with this (I told him I'm a game dev in the reply I mentioned):
"[sic]as a person who made this game should know what lag is just like u know what fuk is as a human being,and i said game crash ,thats the best way i could explain as a normal player not like you an arrogant indie game dev!and if u cant understand what course the game crash,as a player like me how could i know, thats the reason im asking for help here,and i hope they dont have such indie game dev like you who doesnt know lag(game crash)"
M-th-rf-ck-r. For the first time, I see true ignorance. While writing this, I'm typing my next reply for the m-th-rf-ck-r that lacks common sense on reporting a bug. For f-ck sake if I found him I'll put a bullet through his head.2 -
How does everyone feel about morning and evening updates with a summary email detailing what was said in the evening call?
I have an attitude problem with not treating colleagues with respect (apparently) I emailed the concerned party and apologised profusely for my (perceived) behaviour and attitude towards them clarifying that there was no animosity and that I'm just a blunt person.
They responded with 🤔 u wot m8? Well actually, "it's been a stressful couple of months but theres no feelings that you talk to me or address me disrespectfully"
So basically, what happened (I'm a contractor) is I refused to work weekends for a day rate, or evenings.
And my managers boss has been salty after with me ever since.
Thing is they're talking to me like I'm a member of the staff? I don't even work for them as I'm sub contracted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I have had my resignation letter signed and attached to an email to my agency but I haven't sent it1 -
So this week I'm working with special purpose printers (Dymo, Label, Card-printers).
They only connect via USB and there are no linux drivers, so CUPS on a Pi and sharing them won't work '-.-
Guess I'll try that USB over IP thing and see how that goes.3 -
I think their should be like tests or any kind of competition on coding kind of thing in devrant.
Or tips related to coding no matter any language most common mistakes etc.That's my idea tho😅😅😅
What u guys say about this?? -
If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.
No one said that standing for something can have u feeling so conflicted.
Currently 'striking' because I haven't been paid for the month of January. Haven't been to work and haven't done any work (except support requests from a client we work with)
I have recently been pretty adamant about my conditions at work but I do feel a little unreasonable as the reason they can't seem to pay me seems to be some issue with the bank. However on the other hand I do not appreciate that I have not been contacted or informed about how the situation is being dealt with since Monday.
Am I being unreasonable?? Or have I been in a bad situation for so long that it seems wrong to call it out??3 -
Ffs debian, y u no imagemagick >= 7, it's been around for a lot of years now. Time to unnecessarily complicate my pipeline10
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F-word with three consecutive U-letters! SQL Management Studio just crashed, just when I had finished a nice script, that I hadn't of course saved yet. I must say SQL Management Studio hardly ever crashes, can't even remember the last time that happened before this. Wonder if it has anything to do with the plugin SQL Complete that I installed just recently? SQL Complete also has the annoying habit of displaying a popup every time SQL Management Studio is started, with a delay just long enough so you have already got started with something when you're interrupted by that popup. No, I'm not going to upgrade a piece of software that behaves maliciously!15
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Recently we got a new project assigned and as always you are hyped, really really hyped...........
We were supposed to find all kind of driver updates (especially bios ones) for all devices the company owns. So first of all we thought:
EAAAASY! A little bit of web crawling, regex, etc.
.
.
.
.
B
U
U
U
U
T
!
We were sooooo soooo wrong these fucking manufacturer websites are absolutely awful to crawl or parse and nowadays there are no proper FTP Servers or something else anymore you could use to get the information. Every subsite is little bit different...
While coding and literally brute forcing possible urls (there was some kind of vague pattern) we learned AGAIN to appreciate proper developed and designed websites. Especially by devs who may have some more usage scenarios in mind for their site than simple human clients.
So thank you to all of you awesome web developers who design proper websites and web tools!
All in all it took us 2 weeks to come up with a proper solution (by the way we are a smal team of 3 devs) which somewhat works reliable and can deal with site changes etc. -
The sad moment of your life when the doctors leave u no choice but to put glases on if u have to work in front of a screen all day🙁 ( i hate this shit )9
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This cunt android studio, asshole. Every fucking day it would show me a pop up saying, "hey, update gradle", I always ignored it until today and that mofo has fucked up my project. Spent last 3 hours debugging as to why it is not able to resolve dependencies which were working fine earlier. And every time I click on "try again" it will resolve the dependency which it wasn't able to earlier but instead find a new one to fuck with and throw an error. Had to come back to old version resume my work FFS.2
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I have a task:
Make a feature to gather donates at web site through debit cards and e.t.c.
Additional conditions:
There is no company to register the payment gateway.
U need to find the one that would agree to work with physical person in Russia.
It needs to accept payments in USD and EURO worldwide.1 -
I have 14 days left before uni starts, but my keyboard broke and keys: 'u' 'd' and 'o' send the key twice, which means I'll go fucking insane before I finish writing a simple function and no blowing into the switch with compressed air, no washing it with water and letting it dry for a day helps.
FML7 -
Thought about startup.. Strange but literally saying no single coin had in my pocket.. Still have love for startup.. But u know what no project no idea no team.. Still struggling for startup.. Fortunately few days back got proposal of govt project.. One min game literally coin replaced his face.. But after some days grant procedure issue pending sucks.. Still have love for startup.. Suddenly got a thought can I do it after grant but I know I have devRant support.. So still continue to love for startup ;-)
Just few days are remaining and waiting for it.. -
outlook 2016 is so buggy and always show you have unread emails when there is none and no unread box as usual to be. the theme and layout xan mass up by itself, good job MS office team, u finally did a good job to show native app can be as buggy and ugly as web version of outlook. if you have not upgrade please DON'T4
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Why the hell do the Pixel 3 XL have a notch if it doesn't support Face unlock?
Meaning there could be other functions related but they are like face filters on snapchat and all. Face unlock is something would be used the most.
Really Google! U decided to keep the notch but no face unlock 🙄7 -
How many times have u told a company that you will not be moving forward with the interview process bc you accepted an offer... only to have them send you a rejection letter 45 mins later??? 😂😂😂 Happened to me yesterday.
Told 3 companies that.
I didn't really expect them to respond, just wanted to let them know.
First company: No response.
Second company: Wished me well and thanked me for the update.
Third company: Sent me a rejection letter.
I'm like, "You guys just couldn't resist, huh?" 😂5 -
I love automating things and tomorrow I will finish automating yet another repetitive work freeing not only IT stuff but some admins and moderators too. It feels satisfying but at the same time w/ each next automation I am going closer to the moment where I'll no longer be needed...
but then again I have to hop before that moment...just need to sacrifice some of my free time and start poking the market again...
some time soon...
and since this is in the question section, how do u feel about the automation and all5 -
I have a custom strategy done in trading view. How do I even convert this strategy to a trading bot on Binance ? This seems so overwhelming. I have no experience in writing a trading bot, it seems very complicated. Most of the tutorials are on python, do u think learning python will make it easier to learn all of this ?3
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Do u think game design is really a field one can study?
No offence, it just seems to me like a pseudo science.
I know there are some kinds of study programmes and stuff.
I just think it is way better for people to be experienced in coding, do graphics as a hobby and study psychology (or something related) instead.18 -
Have you ever felt like your smart just because you fixed a bug on someone else project, that bug you did not tell the team you happen to cause it accidentally, but after finding how is everyone stocked about it u pretend to fixit hoping no one will notice , haha , just felt like posting today , super bored,1
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Hy is there any Moroccans on this app and if there are how many of u would be interested in starting a game studio?
Because after a quick research i found that there is no game studios in my country and i was truly surprised so please correct me if im wrong (sorry for my bad English)1 -
the boy needed dick surgery..... and there was his girlfriend before surgery and she's like "don't worry it'll be alright"..... and then he woke up after anesthesia and everything went fine but there was no girlfriend......... and he asked where is my girlfriend...... and doctor told him "who do you think gave you the dick"....... this is so sad..... liek if u agree...........4
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My two main grudges against Typescript:
1) Union types can't be passed as arguments if there is a variant for every element of the union
2) No tuple polymorphism, i.e. [T, U] isn't assignable to [T]. This is not a mistake because the length of the arrays differs and therefore they may be interpreted in a different way, but IMO there should be a tuple type which is actually an array but length is unavailable and it supports polymorphism. This sounds stupid, but since function parameter lists work well with tuples it would actually enable a lot of functional tricks that are currently inaccessible.7 -
Silicon Valley. Imaging you burst ur balls to build your company. Burst ur mother fucking balls, and clits, to be big, best algo rhythm etc then the fucking board tells u ur fired???? Believe me, my company will have no mother fucking board members. Fuck. That!2
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Just received code review from interview technical task. 50 percent of it was because of encapsulation (that 5-8 variables could have been private instead of public). 20 percent was about shit that was expected but missing (error validation, dependency injection). It was missing because it was not specified in app requirements and also noone said that I have to build a production level application for a simple interview here. 10 percent was nitpicking about formatting(I used default intellij formatter) and one ide error that appeared because of project importing. And only 20 percent of feedback was actually constructive and useful. Cool. Also developer said that he was shocked that I made loading animation but didnt call it in my app. However I made it, but if you have fast internet connection it doesnt show up. I mean if you run my app on a phone with gprs connection u will see that damn animation. What Im supposed to do slow down the app so u could see it? But we are building production level app here no? Shit. It feels like he applied double standards to me or something. Half of review nitpicking about useless details and another half about shit that is expected to be in the app but was not even communicated. Also I did not get developers contact so I could ask him what the fck he wanted from me.1
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Its just frustrating being a person who learns tech or any other stream from the internet.As much as i love the huge amout of information we have access to, it becomes difficult to sort through the tons of information and learn something.When i was a kid , there was a text book which had concepts which i had to understand to increase my knowledge but now without a proper sylabbus and no single source material i'm consuming everything and i end up re-reading same concept again , except this time its from another book.How do u devs get a proper sylabbus and focus yourself when you are reading about a particular subject?3
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This is my iphone charger. I have to charge my phone 32 hours per day because the battery is dogshit.
U can see how fucked it is from charging so much. The cable itself ripped apart and u can see the wires inside but no wires are sticking out.
I get ZAPPED when i touch anything in my environment. Anything i touch electrocutes me. Like im the fucking Zeus.
Could this cable be the reason?
21 -
Yes, Gaurav didn't get in, but… your younger Aditya still needs a uni degree, right? And the government needs human skin. Gaurav is of no use anyway, he'll never make it without a degree. Let's fix things by making a mutually beneficial decision?
A good human hide went for around Ꙩ300. This is why parents made sure kids had good hygiene and no scars until the uni exams. A lower-grade hide was just Ꙩ30 and was only useful for “special” leather novelties.
Meanwhile, good hides made excellent high fashion coats for the royalty.
It was a shame that U-boat had to go down, burning all 70 crew alive. They were all 20 to 23.1 -
Idk if any of you remember
A while ago i tried to make a router from a raspberry pie and i had trouble with connecting the pie to an internet cable wich requires user and pass from the provider
Done it like 5 minutes ago using pppoe and rc-pppoe
Took me a couple weeks to figure it out
Tho i need type a command
"sudo route add default dev ppp0"
And bam it works
Damn happy cuz u know , i got no electricity... still ... and this is just great to run on a power bank
Cheers ya'll! -
guys, today i was playing monopoly with my father (not gone with the milk i swear) and he was beating me, so i flipped the board. he got pissed and angry, am i the asshole?
p.s, if u say im the asshole im gonna be super mean to u so say im not but no hard feelings.6 -
I have a weird problem ...
There’s an existing swift app, with Apple sign in implemented and working.
When I took over I had to revoke app certificates and create new one. Since then the Apple sign in stopped working.
I’ve tried clean rebuild etc , even tried renewing old profiles with the new cert but nothing is working.
When u do Apple sign in it says “sign up not completed” with no error msg.
Old dev says it happened last time when cert/profile was changed but fixed on proper rebuild. Not fixing for me.
Anybody else faced this?5 -
SQL Developer imports. Fucking SQL Developer imports!
"insert failed for rows 800-899"
y u no tell which row specifically and why, you goddamn hateful son of a bitch!?!?! -
I'm never committing to finishing another PC game ever again... And sticking to arcade, short games only.
Playing Nu no Kuni 2 for the last 3 days... 25hrs and counting... Now at final boss... I think and I can't get infinite HP in Skirmish... So Keep getting entire force wiped out one hit with his laser beam which keeps getting stronger....
It's like a fly vs us. In order to win it's gotta slowly chip away at u, but he can die at an instant any time...
Oh and the 25hrs includes massive cheating and speed hacking to move faster.2 -
Anyone notice how fucking difficult it is to install software from GitHub... well for amateurs mostly. I went through pretty much hell to simply install a spotify playlist downloader script from GitHub. Had I not have had Python installed I would have had to download that too. You Install Python, Google a guide to get the pip command up and running. Download the software. PIP it? Then you find out it uses 3 custom libraries that have to be installed separately. Oh that reminds me, u still need an IDE to open the script and figure that, on your own. Then the script is super buggy, expected though it was still in development. I have no idea where I am going with this. Point is ppl need to get better with hosting code at GitHub. And it wouldn't hurt to include a guide to installation in ReadMe.md OR Installation.md. Ok am done now xd5
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Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
What if, the newly added JSON datatype in mysql is a way to provide mysql with no-sql-like capabilities.
I mean, some would prefer no-sql cuz they beleive that the tables schema will evolve a lot.
An extra column in mysql table with json datatype called "custom_fields" would do the trick.
What do u think ?8 -
POLL:
What kind of office do u prefer working at?
1. Big open space (with tables and no separations)
2. Open space with cubicles
3. Medium room (3-5 ppl)
And did ur preference change due to covid?7 -
Started a new job. Saas solution 10 years old. Not a single page of documentation....... Spent last three days trying to find code connections. #nodocumentation #y-u-no-doc2
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Bruh, just learn them how a computer works with minecraft. Inverters, And, Nand, etc... can all b made there. From there, u can make flip-flops, u can make registers, adders, multiplexors, demuxs. Ofc makin anything more then a 1-bit, maybe 2-bit machine, would be a pain, and dont get me starting on memory that extends one register. But hey, if u got the patience, u can ofc. Put it together to an ALU, combin all of them with a PC to an CPU. Ofc, you got no ROM or RAM, but hey, atleast u've built the hard part.4
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Building atom on an RPI 2 with this fuckstickle of a package manager is a bloody nightmare. Works without issue on Raspbian Jessie, implodes into a spectacular clusterfuckeroni on Raspbian Stretch.
Been on it since yesterday, 10/10 weekend saved. -
Am i the only person who hates reactjs so much?
Jsx , so much nesting, unreadable code. U need to create lots of components and reinvent the wheel everytime u need to add a litle tiny feature. No global logic (controller)
Raaaaah what a mess...4 -
I got a new babe today, Lenovo Yoga 550, i7, 256 SSD...hw do u advice I utilize.. should i partition and have windows OS and my sweet Ubuntu & Arch linux(s) on d base or just vm them on windows..cuz honestly if not for few wares, i hv no business with windows..pls advice.3
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English:
"I'm a liar."
Supposing I tell the truth, I'm not a liar. But that would mean that I am a liar, since I said that I am a liar.
Assuming I did not tell the truth, I would be a liar. But since I said the truth, I would not be a liar.
If one starts from the classical logic, one can make no logical statement. If one starts from the three-valued logic, I would say that "unknown" (u, ½
Is that true, what do you mean?
German:
"Ich bin ein Lügner."
Angenommen, ich würde die Wahrheit sagen, bin ich keine Lügner. Dies würde aber bedeuten dass ich ein Lügner bin, da ich ja gesagt habe dass ich ein Lügner bin.
Angenommen ich würde nicht die Wahrheit sagen, wäre ich ein Lügner. Aber da ich die Wahrheit gesagt habe wäre ich kein Lügner.
Wenn man von der klassischen logik ausgeht, kann man keine logische Aussage machen. Wenn man von der Dreiwertige Logik ausgeht, würde ich sagen, das "unbekannt"(u, ½) rauskommt.
Stimmt das, was meinst du?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
https://code.sololearn.com/cFvKb3r8...14 -
Fuck powershell.
How in the world can one lang have so much problems with date conversion, and chars like üöä. Its so funny how they get through just fine sometime when u specify encoding utf8 but other times it has no ides wha5 these chars are.
Honestly fuck powershell -
!rant question
Anybody else: Solarized (no affiliation)? Dark and light are so beautiful. Plugged in to terminal, window manager, (neo)vim, statusline (yeah, the Awk thing). Feels so beautiful. Can read shit off it anywhere, and my eyes aren't going any more blind.
P.S devRant team please get post separation up so that I don't have to add a 'question/rant/meme' tag to everything I post. <3 Love u guys! -
When just push to github 2 hours before and u only change the views then theres this " the head of your current commit is different from the repo. Either push and pull to avoid conflicts" u tried pulling and its not working and you only change the views. No branch no other contributer. 😩
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