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Css is most definitely a woman who's mad at you but won't tell you why.
"What's wrong? what did I do? "
"Nothing..."8 -
Never trust a hot chick that tell you "Wow you are a programmer? Tell me about it"
ATTENTION: DON'T TELL HER ABOUT IT8 -
WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR THESE CUM SUCKERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHANGING REQUIREMENTS 2 DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE IS JUST GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING!?!?
I DOUBLE DARE ANYONE TO TELL ME ITS NOT WORKING TOMORROW...
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER PMS CANT PLAN ANYTHING6 -
Not a dev post, just wanted to share :) just for your viewing pleasure - My first pics taken using a low budget camera and ‘scope.
11 -
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
3 fucking years already that I introduced fucking git in this company and people still fail to grasp the fucking basics... Wtf?
If you push a fucking change wait for the fucking message ... If a fucking fail message appears telling you to pull before pushing to remote, just don't ignore it... Wtf... I can tell it is the case just by looking at the message template, I don't even need to read the motherfucker...
And its not that they are stupid, those are smart motherfuckers we are talking about...24 -
I am but one man. Please remember that I am only human, and as much as I have automated, some things still take time.
Also,
I DON'T KNOW IT'S A FUCKING ISSUE UNTIL YOU MAKE ME AWARE OF SAID ISSUE. IF THIS ISSUE GOES ON FOR WEEKS, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM AWARE. PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET ME KNOW BEFORE IT BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU. BECAUSE WHEN AN ISSUE BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU, YOY THEN BECOME A HEADACHE FOR ME.2 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????
JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!
FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!5 -
I tell him to submit a pull request, he just merges his code. I revert it and tell him to submit a pull request, he submits one then merges it himself immediately after...6
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OMFG GOD BOSS!! JUST TELL ME ALREADY EVERYTHING I HAVE TO FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THIS FUCKING FEATURE!
EVERY FUCKING TIME I FINISH IT YOU GIVE ME SOME DETAIL THAT I HAVE TO REWORK PIECES OF IT!!
DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!3 -
"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do."
- Ted Nelson3 -
Why is it that every time I tell someone I love programming the immediate question that follows is: "So you can hack?". And when I tell them that I can't, the conversation is over.1
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My CPU temperature under sustained full load has reached 46°C where it used to be 43°C. That leaves two conclusions: either the thermal paste has gone bad, or summer has started.32
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Dear Product Owners,
If you tell me how I need to architect my software again I'm going to ask you to provide a network topology of the architecture you want me to build.
I'll also need you to request the new servers, work with the ops teams to setup credentials, provision the NAT, register the domains and document the routes that the proxy will need to use.
then I'll need you to hook the repo up to our non-existent pipeline so that I can make sure I won't do all that testing I already can't do.
I hope you're paying attention, because that framework you told me I needed to use is going to be a pain to setup correctly.
after you're done with that, please attach any documentation you shit out to the ticket you never created.
Enragedly yours,
Looking for a new job
PS: get fucked3 -
SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME:
HOW DO I STOP BEING SO FUCKING AWKWARD!!!!!!!! Tell me please, i swear to you. My life would be so much better if i wasn’t so awkward and have social anxiety. Tell me what to do because i’m tired of it, i hate it so much.42 -
I hate working from home. I'm lonely, bored, feel ignored by my leadership, and have so many additional complications with connectivity that don't exist when working on site. I have the chance to almost double my salary in this buyout, but I also really really hope my other job applications give me options2
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I just bought an amazing Bluetooth headphone but I'm really FUCKING PISSED because when its charging the led flashes green and when it is charged it flashes some fucking other tone of green and as someone who has daltonism it makes me really fucking frustrated because I can't say tell the difference even if my life depended on it... PLEASE DONT BE THE STUPID CUNT THAT DESIGNS SHIT LIKE THAT! JUST MAKE IT NON COLOR DEPENDANT FOR FUCK SAKE!
Thanks.4 -
!rant
Just overheard a senior engineer say to a junior "I dont tell you to move, I tell you to MOV because you're as stupid as a computer" wow that hurt8 -
Customer: "Yeah we need <insert bonkers 12 step circular logic> to find a thing(s) in the database."
Me: "Ok let me diagram this out and I'll send it to you to review.... but man this seems like the 8th version of this we're doing right?"
Customer: "Yeah well <employee Y> says they can't do B, C without this."
Me: "Wait... can't they just <insert the most simple step in the history of time> in step A, and then later on they won't have to do all this hunting later? Like you have that data at step A right?"
Customer: "Yeah but <employee Y> doesn't want to do that."
Me: "She's your direct report ....."
Customer: "Yes...."
Me: "Ok.... I'll send you the diagram and the cost estimate...."
Whatever reason sometimes it is a bit draining coding madness compared to making things actually efficient / people's jobs easier...3 -
Bottom navbar with great animation made with pure CSS. https://codepen.io/flavio_amaral/...
What do you thing?3 -
Dear Client,
You said it was of paramount importance that this software work flawlessly. I've worked hard to make it so, even when your indecision and lack of attention to detail indicate you don't care as much as you say and have made the project late.
Yesterday when I handed you a step-by-step user acceptance test plan, you delegated it to someone not as familiar with your specific requirements. You said you don't have time for such things.
I will remind you of those words when the project launches and you find something you dislike.
Sincerely,
Me -
Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
So we are completely burned out with this project that had a fucking generic contract and my boss never had the balls (and never will) to say no to the client's endless requests and changes...
We are about to deliver it once and for all and they complain about one thing that I have already agreed to my boss that we would not do...
We tell the client that it is the case...
They email everyone involved in the project with a high level of drama on it...
I ask my boss, who is on vacation, on directions as to "how" I should tell them the fuck off...
My boss answer: I'm making a script to solve this issue and to avoid further trouble with it...
Ooo you stupid motherfucker! Can't you see you only bring more trouble with that attitude?1 -
(popup) ERROR OCCURRED!
But we're not going to tell you what it is...
Or at hint what the root cause is...
Let alone tell you how to fix it...
2 -
Wtf man, you are using fucking Ubuntu for 5 months and I really have to tell you how to edit fucking /etc/hosts? Fuck you... I should be the fucking boss...3
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My boss always like to say: damn, every time we fix something something else breaks.
And I always tell him about TDD, unit tests, etc...
He smiles and continues to work as if nothing have been said...
He sits behind me and is constantly "wtfucking" and I'm here just thinking that he might have broken something that could have been avoided if he listened to me.
We are working on separate projects now and every time I think that someday I'm gonna join that code it gives me goosebumps 😵😓1 -
So I need to ask this because I've never experienced it.
Recently many of my colleagues left for greener pastures and now they're posting on linkedin once a week with some bullshit about how awesome it is to work wherever they went.
If this was one or two I wouldn't care, but it's like 90% of them vomiting this blatant brain-swill for almost 3 months now.
My suspicion is that these people are being coerced into posting this garbage. Am I correct that many companies these days are doing this now?7 -
There is this project where the develop branch is "discontinued" because this moron "finished" a feature that is all fucking broken and I could not figure out how to solve all those merge conflicts...
I just gave up and told my stupid boss who just nods and laughs at everything... If it ever comes up I'm gonna tell them to get the fucker to solve it.1 -
Why can't people be more objective on demands?
These people can't fucking grasp the concept of "ask for something" NOOO they have to fucking make an endless black hole stupid speech to tell you to "do x"!!!!
FUCK YOU WHO DO THAT!!
YOU HAVE AN ASSHOLE WHERE SHOULD BE YOUR MOUTH! -
Devs: Early birds or night owls?
Me: Definitelly night owl, can not wake up before 10 and sometimes working till morning. I know it is bad for health but I can not help myself. Being much more creative and productive at night.12 -
Why on Earth are people letting management tell them how to code? It is not their job to know how to do it. Much less to tell you how to do it.8
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Asking you to find the bug. You find it and the solution for it. You tell them your solution and tell what you found. AND THEY JUST WON'T BELIEVE YOU. Just find the friggin' bug yourselves faggots.2
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Take me into the organization as a dev
tell me that I'm supposed to bring ideas and tell you how to improve and what's required
I do that
You ignore me
You expect ultra performance and good profits
GO FUCK YOURSELF7 -
Damn devrant just gave me a "helpful tip" but my anti-ad reflexes kicked and before I realized it was closed. Does someone knows what does it say?5
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How hard can it be to convincente my fucking team to take unit testes seriously?
I'm gonna tell you: REALLY FUCKING HARD!!! TO EVEN CONSIDER START LOOKING WTF IT IS!!!
Cmon people... Improve your fucking selves once in a while... -
Do your colleagues read the emails or they ignore them like mine?
The usual answer is: sorry no time to read, place a meeting.
I do not want to schedule yet another useless meeting because you are unable to read two lines of text.
If I wanted a meeting I would have scheduled it in first place.
Why have I to lose 1 hour of my time to explain, then some cannot join and ask for a follow up meeting, where I have to explain again the same things.
Obviously during the first meeting nobody has even read the description and has idea of the topic, so "we need to check... schedule another meeting next week".
You can imagine what's gonna happen the next week...1 -
I can now tell if a client will be difficult before... I do the work.
Good skill to have, I can tell them to fuck off1 -
I tell friends ways to hack "jailed" devices to run linux or other custom software. Because they have no clue about such.. I do it for them.. -.- WHY DO I EVEN TELL THEM???
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I have friends married to girls from the Philipines. If there are some people from said country in here, would you mind telling me why their FB names, instagram names or whatever are things like:
"Cee La SomeShit still Trying <white dude surname>"
"Beauty Hope LoveThisSwag <whatever last name>"
"Leyla StillHaveDabooty <white surname>"
Like wtf, just put your fucking name, shit sounds SO fucking trashy4 -
People tell smoking is injurious to health and developer tell floats are injurious to website but no one gives a damn7
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I spent the week working on an adapter to a specific format, the client came this morning to tell us Json would also have worked. Then why didn't you tell me earlier?!?
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I know reviews are so I can show my progress and let you tell me what you think. Just, please don’t tell me to click irrelevant buttons, trust me, there’s really nothing there.
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When you going to interview tell them your nam is Red. When you arrive they tell you: Hi Red. And you are hired :)3
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Not dev related but got offered to work at the Champions league final.
The tickets sold out within ten minutes and there's me making money!3 -
To create a native CLI application for Linux, windows and Mac using C or just use C# and tell people to use mono... These are the real questions that I can't tell if I'm too lazy to ask myself properly...9
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Tell me how to nicely tell a client that the price for the website they made us develop is more or less 2,000 USD. I'm from the Philippines btw so that kind of amount is huge...HUUUGEEEE.7
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Tfw you tell the guy in charge you can't make it for the meeting that evening, and he says there is no meeting, but you're too tired to tell if he's joking or not. Fml
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someone please tell me what the difference between these three are? apparently there's a difference but i really can't tell :/8
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Am I bad for not bothering with these things and if it just too much to handle I tell boss to tell him to STFU?
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Tell me whatever you want. Tell me that I'm a Google fanboy even if I'm not. But I fucking like how Google is applying their own Material Design to fucking everything.
7 -
$estimationTime = Experience::get($work)->timeSpent() || "Sorry, can't tell, will do as fast as I can";2
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“I forgot to tell you” - a backend dev who forgot to tell me about some changes in the prices a day before we submit our site to the client
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“Hey, I just spent a year building this amazing thing - but I can’t tell you about it because that’s for scummy spam assholes who only care about money - and you’re all just happy forest creatures who only like to hug and tell each other how special they are. I’ll pay more than you earn in a year - to have Facebook tell you instead.”
Soon... we’ll all be living in tents by the river.
#never-tell1 -
Any node js devs on here that can tell me why this is happening? Node js is installed and from what I can tell WebStorm is set up correctly...
2
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