New kid came to me in my break (while I was playing LoL) saying I should start coding (he had no clue what my role within the company is).
Said that if I won't get a career in league, I could just (as if it's done in a few minutes) learn coding and make a website with thousands of users (as if that is just done like 1 2 3).
Then with a big grin on his face he proceeded to say "if you ever have some issues with making websites, I could just come to him and he can teach me the basics of Javascript, HTML, CSS and PHP".
So I said: "and who are you?"
He told me his name and what he is going to do within the company.
So I said with a big grin on my face: "Ah, so you're the new kid the boss told me about, nice to meet you, from today on, I'll be your Senior."
I then saw his big grin disappear
then with a big smile on my face I proceeded to say: "If you ever have some issues, please come to see me and I'll be happy to teach you the basics of Javascript, HTML, PHP and CSS"

Then he walked away :^)

Sometimes when I'm writing Javascript I want to throw up my hands and say "this is bullshit!" but I can never remember what "this" refers to

#oldbutgold

Me: Alright, let's code!

School: Psst. Hey.

Me: What?

School: Remember that assignment from last week?

Me: Oh god please no.

School: Yeah, it's tomorrow. And you have a Geography exam next Monday. You love geography, right?

Me: Please, no, I want to become a programmer, not a--

School: Shush... It's okay. Programming can wait. You want a to get a job, right? What would they say when they see your poor Geography?

Me: That doesn't even... Okay, fine, I'll do it...

* two days later *

Me: Fuck me! Finally! Let's do some coding now.

School: Psst. Hey.

I changed my Wi-Fi name to Syntax Error and made some changes to the configuration. I wanted to disable the admin page at the 2.4Ghz connection, but I got kicked out at 5Ghz as well. So I couldn't log in anymore and resetting the router didn't helped.

So I called the ISP if they can restore it to factory settings, but the guy on the phone didn't understand a thing I said. He said to me: "Sir I don't exactly understand what u say, but I can see an Syntax Error. Do you want me to fix it." And I laughed and I laughed.. I told him that's the Wi-Fi name but ofcourse he didn't got the joke. I called again and got someone else on the phone. He's resetting the router in a one minute call.

Had some fun this morning.

I asked my mom if I can buy myself a raspberry pi for my birthday.
No matter what I show or say to her, she won't stop telling me to bake my own raspberry pie. ;-;

What the fuck!? Did you just fucking say you don't want to discuss API endpoints with me because I'm just a frontend developer? Get the fuck down from your imaginary backend throne and talk to me like the software engineer that I am. That's right, I'm a software engineer too, you fucking asshole. Just because you do backend and I do frontend doesn't mean you can talk down to me. And I swear that the next time you say you made all the work and I just have to "style it" I'll just leave. You can "style it" yourself.

*Romantic candlelit dinner*

GF: "What are you thinking about, my love?"

Me: "The chocolate custard always seems to behave differently under stress than vanilla. It has a lower base viscosity, but a similar shear thickening. I was wondering whether anyone has ever made a database of all custard brands and flavors together with their viscosities"

My brain: *Oh fuck, that's not what I'm supposed to say during a romantic dinner*

GF: "Do you wanna check whether we can find a cheap second hand viscometer.... wait.... no.... you'd need a rheometer for that, right? Do you think we could build one ourselves?"

Me: *blinks in awe*

Even after 15 years, I'm still just puzzled, she really fucking is my soulmate

Two reasons why I love devRant.
1. None of my clients are here so I can say what I want.
2. Everyone gets my geeky ass jokes that usually only I laugh at.

She: We've been together for so long and why are you never romantic??
Me: What do you mean? I can say I Love You in 10 different languages!
She: Awww... Really ?!?
Me:
cout<<"I Love You!";
printf("I Love You!);
System.out.println("I Love You!");
print "I Love You!"
echo "I Love You!";
say I Love You
puts "I Love You!
msg db 'I Love You!'
<h1>I Love You!</h1>
dbms_output.put_line ('I Love You!');

Me: Hello.. ?

I actually just wanted to say - what a great time it is to be a developer.

C# has stolen so many good features now that it's pretty awesome.
JavaScript and typescript are really fun to work with.
I really love angular.
Docker is great!

I can setup pipelines and deploy an angular app for free and really easily with github-pages.

I can use linux inside windows.

I can use cloud providers to do all sorts for really cheap.

I can plug my cable-free oculus quest VR headset into my laptop and build a game pretty easily with unity (thanks to all the great oculus helper prefabs).

I can use tesseract and data science technology inside my browser!!

And I can go to medium and udemy and learn all sorts of things.

Honestly...

Just saying.
I'm actually really loving being a developer right now.

And if I do have off day, I can rant on here!

Devs regularly complain that our skills are not valued enough and that people think what we do is easy.

But, we don't really help the cause when we run around casually claiming to be "full stack" and not turning down work that clearly isn't in our area of competence.

We act more like Victorian amateur scientists.

Every seen a "full stack" doctor when you go to hospital? "Brain to feet---I can do it all."

OK, we have general practitioners, but they are really the BAs of the medical world. When it comes to getting into the weed, everyone specializes.

Full stack lawyer? "Hey, you did an excellent job of dealing with my house purchase. I've just been accused of murder. Can you represent me?"

While we continue to say that we can provide a high quality "full stack" experience I think we are signaling that this stuff *is* easy.

User: We can not register three users on your website, it allowed us to register only first one

Me: What does it say? Some kind of error? Tell me so I can reproduce.

User: Well it says email address is already taken

Me: Uh...

- so yeah, they tried to register three users under the same email address.

[Interviewer] : How would you use MySQL?

[Student] : your SQL? Can I get mine so that I can use it?

[Interviewer] * confused what to say *

Get ready for one of the biggest AMAZON rants EVER.
I dislike this company so much I can feel it in my bones.
They have NO, absolutely NO idea how user experience works.

PROBLEM #1.

If you have Amazon Prime / Video (ANOTHER FUCKED UP PROBLEM THAT CONFUSES A LOT OF PEOPLE) and you want to watch a movie on your Xbox using the Amazon App, You have to buy the movie ON YOUR COMPUTER FIRST, YOU CAN’T BUY IT DIRECTLY FROM THE APP.
WHAT THE SHIT AMAZON?

So.. go to your laptop, buy the movie, go back to your other device (Xbox or whatever), click “My movie library” and then you can watch it.

OH AND THERE’S ALSO A “MY WATCHLIST”, WHERE YOUR NEW PURCHASED / RENTED MOVIE DOES NOT SHOW UP.

Yes.. there is a “MY WATCHLIST” and “My movie library” or some shit.

HOW, WHY, WHY FUCKING AMAZON, WHY.

PROBLEM #2.

“WE HAVE A ZILLION ALEXA SKILLS NOW !!!1!!!!!11111! EINZ!!!!!”

Yeah, WELL, NOT THAT HARD WHEN YOU HAVE “Alexa Evangelist” traveling to every DAMN tech convention and having them make USELESS FUCKING SKILLS THAT NOBODY WANTS USING BOILER PLATE CRAP THAT ANYBODY CAN USE.

Oh and Alexa is DUMB AS SHIT.
I asked her "Play the song Starboy by the Weeknd" and she said: "I CAN'T FIND THAT SONG"
Then you go "Play me Starboy" and she goes: "HERE IS A SAMPLE OF STARBOY BY THE WEEKND"

Same with other songs: "YOU DONT HAVE IT IN YOUR PRIME MUSIC LIBRARY".
She doesn't even TRY to go to your fucking Spotify account, you have say: "Play Starboy by The Weeknd on Spotify" AND THEN she still has the FUCKING NERVES to say : "I Can't find that song on Spotify".
BUT YOU JUST FOUND IT ON YOUR OWN DAMN CRAPPY PRIME MUSIC.

"Hey Alexa, how many days till the end of the year?"
GUESS WHAT ,SHE CAN'T TELL YOU. (maybe now but not 2 months ago)

PROBLEM #3.

AUDIBLE.COM and AUDIBLE.CO.UK have DIFFERENT FUCKING DATABASES, THUS, YOU CAN END UP HAVING 2 ACCOUNTS AND HAVING 2 LIBRARIES, and.. THERE IS NO WAY TO FUSE THEM INTO 1 account.
OH MY GOD, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
I FUCKING HATE that, how can ANYBODY think that is a GOOD IDEA?

PROBLEM #4.

Their website is a TOTAL FUCKING mess, really, who the FUCK designs that piece of SHIT.

Look up a movie, let’s say “SCHOOL OF ROCK”
First result?

“School Of Rock” - “Amazon Video”
So you can click on this and watch the movie.

Then click the second result.

“School of Rock Blu RAY” and next to the price-tag “PRIME”
You click on it, you can buy it, but HEY, LOOK, WHAT DOES IT SAY?

“Unlimited Streaming with Amazon Prime
Start your 30-day free trial to stream thousands of movies & TV shows included with Prime. Start your free trial”

WHAT, WHAT!!!! CAN I WATCH THIS WITH AMAZON PRIME? OR DO I NEED THE AMAZON VIDEO? I DON’T GET IT.

Put me in a room with all those FUCKWIT project managers and their fucked up company culture and I’ll rip them a new one, I can go on for DAYS about the SHIT they are doing.

Spending 5 years at University with a friend....uh???

Let me explain...

I have a friend. A very good friend I can say. I know him since 18 years but I started being everyday with him at the beginning of my "University's journey".

And when I say everyday, I am not joking...every lesson, every exam, every project...

The problem is that he is one of the smartest person I have ever met in the "scientific field". So? He is also unable to say that he doesn't understand something. He is unable to say the he is wrong or to admit that someone else is better then him.

Let just say that he is not good in "relating to other people".

I am very smart too and suddenly he started to fail where instead i was doing good. Jealousy, anger. Every occasion to point out my errors. Every occasion to say to the others that I am stupid and he is smart.

But I know him and I am not like him. So I continued to stay with him, work with him and also going out with him. Because he is my friend.

And you know what? After 5 years he started to be more "human". I learned so much from him and he learned to be respectful and humble.

It was a very stressful period but thanks to that I know that I can be strong and work hard also when someone try to stop me. I am not afraid to say my opinion just because someone is yelling at me. And I know that I can go over stupid judgements and still work good as a team member.

That's it.

Be respectful. Be patient but defend your opinions. Trust yourself but listen and learn from everyone. And if sometime you fail, remember that it's normal. No one is perfect. No one can be perfect alone.

I hope that this rant can help someone else.

Good week to all of you.

You what's been pissing me off this week. The press and social media coverage of this Google guy's gender memo.

Almost every outlet has him saying:

"Women are inferior coders because of their biology"

He ABSOLUTELY does not say this anywhere. He only states that basically less women are attracted to the industry. He doesn't comment at all on the quality of the Women who do go into tech.

It astonishes me the utter ignorance of the media and how they can just print these ignorant errors / lies.

I would wager that most if not all of them never even read his memo.

I am really fucked off by this social media keyboard warrior driven world we live in.

Apparently we value freedom of speech and freedom of expression above all else... UNLESS you say something that pisses off the social media justice warriors. In that case you will be publicly crucified and your life / career will be destroyed.

The annoying thing is in this particular case he didn't even say what they are saying he did.

People always say how they lost couple fucking hrs because of a bloody ';'.

You know what.. '!' are mush worse.

I just lost 2.5 hrs debugging because i had written if(x){} instead of if(!x)

semicolons you can find at compile time.
! are the true morons

I love my wife, i really do. But seriously.... STOP PULLING ME OUT OF THE ZONE for every tiny thing!

She:
"... can you make me a coffee"

Me:
"sure babe"

What i actually want to say:
"Its a fucking one button machine, do it yourself you lazy shit. And it takes me half an hour to go back this deep! Isnt it enough that i did all house chores made you dinner and took the dog out after working for 8 hours streight. You better give me some attention later tonight, since you should have more then enough power after sleeping all day! If i would at least get a compliment... GIVE ME COMPIMENTS."

$sis: hey $me, can you help me?
$me: Uhm, sure, what's wrong?
$sis. The printer doesn't work..
$me: what does it say?
$sis: what do you mean?
$me: like, when you try to print something, what does it say?
$sis: uhm... idk...where should it say something
$me: On your screen you should be getting an error message right?
$sis (now getting irritated for some reason): no it doesn't..
$me: okay, let me check it out
*I walk to the printer with my sister's laptop and plug in the usb*
*Select printer > click print*
"Printer offline"
$me: was it also saying this before
$sis: uhm...yes
$me: ok
At this point im already getting a bit fed up
$me: are you sure this port is working
$sis: yes, I am sure
Okay, check other ports just to be sure, also don't work.
After about 15 minutes of debugging, turns out she managed to unplug the cable on the printer...
And all I got was a "o thanks"
Fml

One day my boss called me in to his office. "I need you to sort Bernie out".
Bernie? "Oh, you don't know about Bernie!"
Turns out Bernie was a Windows 2000 server running SQL 2000 that had all sorts of antique applications and SSIS packages running on it. Nobody was sure what it did, or if it was even still alive, but nobody was game to just switch it off.
So, after 2 months of chasing down source code, analysing it, looking for non-existent documentation, I was finally able to say.
Bernie's dead. You can bury him.

What can I say 🤷

Dear Android:

I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.

But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.

But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!

If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?

@dfox I just want to say thank you !

Most of my friends are not devs at all. Thanks to you, I can share my adventures to people that actually understand what I'm talking about.

This is priceless.

Dad: What are you doing with your life?

Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?

My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.

Heard this recently:
JS always make me wanna say Fuck this shit! But I can never be sure what this refers to!

So some guy decided to steal my laptop. I don't know if they thought my machine wasn't happy with me or what but whoever did that, all I can say is your time is coming motherfucker.

I will always miss you 😭😭

Im one of the people who got laid off due to covid19. I was hoping to find work at the same salary my previous job paid me at the very least. A friend of mine pointed out the fact that since i've been in the industry a while that I could ask for a lot more than what I made. I didn't believe him, but since my wife agreed, I've been asking for double my previous salary. I actually got a job that met my ask. I'm glad to say that after being afraid I was getting in over my head, I can actually do this. Glad my friend told me my worth and I hope others have friends that can do the same for them.

PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏

I got arrested multiple times under acts of cyber crimes...
Yeah, so what if I did? Why is it a problem that I take down CP sites? "Because it's partaking in cyber warfare." Well then the police and the Federal government should execute their job keeping such out of the web space. Now, whenever I find a job, I have to inform due to the judge's final document. And not just that now when I am required to talk to a police officer who has seen my record all they can reckon is to escalate it.

What fantastic horse crap! You get arrested for tracking down child molesters and taking them off the web exclusively...
Some say I'm a social justice warrior, only I don't think that I am. I reckon I am merely an over eccentric programmer who desires to see the real criminals get sent to jail.

I'm currently 40h/week meeting attender. I'm not enjoying my life right now.

Today I have a meeting about the legal requirements of an invoicing system, in my role as database administrator — the meeting will mostly be lawyers bickering over what the addresses of subsidiaries look like on invoices and which taxes should apply to services provided across borders.

Wait, I can play Factorio during this meeting and say "yeah that sounds OK" once in a while. Not the worst job after all...

It's weird reading about everyone bitching about their PM / manager, and I'm here and have the best boss anyone can ask for. I work from home whenever I want, if I work extra I can always take that extra time off. If I work weekends I get 100% overtime pay. If I want to learn new tech for a project he tells me to go nuts.

What I'm really trying to say here is.. in all yo faces I guess. \o/

Interviewer: "Using this 2D array and calculate.."
Me: "This input isn't a 2D array though. Do you want me to parse or construct a 2D array then.."
"It is a 2D array."
"Uh.. ok..and if it's not what if we.."
"Look my notes say you must use this input, and treat it as a 2D Array"
"What if I wrote a function for a 2D array similar to this input, but actually a 2D array"
"You must use only the input provided"
Me: does rain dance code for 20 minutes.
Interviewer: "hmm, maybe it wasn't a 2D Array. I like your efforts but that's all the time we have today."

I promise I can code, sometimes. It does help to have correct questions to give correct answers.

He: Honzo, you are great coder, but can you please stop using those sexy anime chicks as placeholder images in your templates?
I: Ups, i forgot replace them.
He: Don't worry, client also enjoy it, but he maybe is only one. He also want to know where you found them.
I: Konachan.com

What can i say, i have exciting work.

I had a very informal interview/information session with a hot girl earlier this week.

Being the #foreveralone type, I'm calling it a date with a hot girl, when I tell my family about it. 😍

We scheduled a follow-up session for next week, which will be even more informal than before. Now it'll be more like a date, and I won't feel so bad telling people she liked me enough to go on a second date. 🙃

What can I say, I take what I can get. 🤗

During a company wide status meeting where all product managers, architects and directors assemble:

Me: *A product architect leading a team of devs*

Directors: So are there any issues or risks you see in delivering the next build in target time for Client 1?

Me: There are too many changes in feature requirements. First they said we can use a shared NFS for storage. Now they are asking to switch over to SFTP pull mode.. blah blah..

Directors: Oh I see.. well we can support both solutions then.

Me: But the deadlin..

Directors: *ignores what I say* Will be a good marketing point for future.

Me: But there are too many regressions in integra..

Directors: *ignores what I say* We should also meet deadlines. That is the most important thing.

Me: Its not as easy as 1+1=2.. The team needs more time to..

Directors: *ignores what I say* Ok lets move on to the next point. What about Client 2?

Me:

Manager: Hi, here is component X with 200k lines of code. Can you go through the code and see if you can implement component Y using component X?

Me: What does component X do?

Manager: I don't know.

Me: Is there a design docs for it?

Manager: I don't know. Can you check? Let me know when it is done.

*Wondering if I should joke and say "Oh management, hard job huh?"*

*Remembering how life is fucked up unfair and I need food to survive and house to live in and follow the society's rules and work hard to make the rich richer and shove money into their fat belly of greed...*

Me: OK.

Javascript makes me want to flip
the table and say "Fuck this shit", but
I can never be sure what "this" refers
to.

Can we talk about this for a second? I mean WTF, how is Windows XP still a thing. Wasn't there a ransomeware attack recently, so every last sys admin should have some motivation to upgrade their shit?
Sure, I hear you say, it's just an information display. No critical stuff.
Well guess what, it was at an airport. Most likely not connected to any critical infrastructur, but still it's a computer, stuck at the boot screen at 11 a.m. running windows XP, connected to an airport network.
And I was standing there like: fuck me!

1. My senior told me that my code is crashing.

2. I check the code and told him that it is not my doing. As there was lots of nested if-else as I prefer to keep a variable and update it in if conditions. Like a filters rather than trees with branches. What I say, I knew my coding style.

3. Then he show me my git commit and I am having existential crises.

Am I missing days? How can I? I mean was I abducted and in mean time some alien took my place and they placed this memory of me coding?

Ah! man I think I am possessed by some inexperienced developer. I seriously need some fucked up crash to exorcise him.

Customer: (calls emergency hotline) We have a really bad bug!
Rep: What seams to be the issue?
Customer: I need to talk to Sam, he knows what to do, tell him it's urgent.
Rep: can I tell Sam what the issue is?
Customer: Well, Sam built a newsletter program but I don't have a way to import mass amounts of emails addresses.
Rep: That sounds like a feature, not a problem.
Customer: why wouldn't it do that? Would you build a car without a steering wheel?
Rep: I am not sure that's relevant to the problem.
Customer: what do you mean?
Rep: I would say it is more like, "would you build a car without a pair of jet skis attached to the back." And we would respond with, "we would be happy to add Jet Skis, but it's going to cost you additional money."
Customer: So, how are we going to fix this bug in YOUR software?
Rep: :/

Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.

Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.

Let's portray Stallman as a malevolent criminal, dying on the creepiest hill, shall we? Apparently there's even people that make statements such as "if you defend RMS, you're just as terrible as he is".

Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Do you have any idea what the case even is?
Richard Stallman has a controversial opinion about a rape case committed by someone else. Gee, what a shocker, people have opinions. Does that make Stallman a criminal himself?

Oh but he's representing open source software. That's why he can't be there.
Oh yeah. Shunning him (and erroneously so) as another Reiser is gonna make open source look so good, isn't it.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
- Evelyn Beatrice Hall, writer of Voltaire

People are entitled to any opinion they may have. Just because you disagree with it (and in this case I do too!) does not mean that it can be used to criminalize someone and to ruin their career. That is just wrong.

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

The Linux desktop marketshare. Every year support gets better and better and soon I think it will be higher than the Mac desktop marketshare.

What can I say :))

Definitly !rant; btw long post ahead

Soooo not so long ago i joined this community by chance just cuz i installed some app randomly found on google store and what can i say. Best decision ever!

I can say i never met such an interesting and diverse communitiy ever and i kin of ground fond of it (i usually dont get too attached to peoples).

After a while i felt the urge to get myself involved into some disscusion at some random post and i did it. But it felt empty as my image was just a plain green bubble of anonymity. But yeh, i am cool with it, i will customize it after some ++es. No problem!

I got incremented for a while and i got to make a simple generic avatar. I felt again a urge, but this time to customize even more. Sadly, anything cool needs approval by the people. Soo i kind of let it go as i am not really the kind to find myself talking in other businesses and i moved over.

Until i saw it! Not the tiger, not the bird but the dog! Annnd i wanted it so i made a joke that i am a wizard with an invisible dog. What can go wrong, right? Well the thing is.. it did not go wrong, as expected, but it went great, kinda unexpected.

How? Well, some random stranger felt me and gave me a hunble chance to get closer to my dreamy real dog. And so it begin, my crusade to get that damn dog!

But what i have realised fast is .. this is not facebook! Nor Instagram! People doesnot upvote attention whoreing or such lowly acts, but they are actually prone to support people who just.. get involved.

And so i did. I got involved. I actually got involved in a community! For a awkwardly introvert person that's something, but maybe more than few of you people can relate to this.

And today i finally reached that goal! I have a real doggo! Well, real as in not invisible, not as in a great responsability, but now i have both. But this was not such a big deal. The big deal is that i found people whos interests are alike to mine and are prone to help, support and befriend others. I must say, thanks to all! Wonderful time, and while i am not here for a long time, i will surely be!

Cheers and dev on!

Bipolar disorder means that you can code for 14 hours straight, sleep for 4 hours and feel refreshed ready for another round. You can make art and you can express your thoughts in creative, kinda alien ways.

But here are tradeoffs that make bipolar disorder a disease:
- everyone around you is an enemy
- they’re all acting together to harm you
- nobody understands you
- they all make fun of you
- if I say what I mean, nobody will understand me. I’ll scare them
- I’m extremely aggressive towards everything: people, things, situations, problems. Computer lags so I scream, smash it, throw it out of the window and buy a new overpriced one
- constant uncertainty about whether am I acting right or not

!(!rant)

So I wanted a raise and the only way was becoming a software lead.

With that title you get more money but also more responsibility, so you have the last word in technical decisions, you review architecture, do tech interviews, guide the less experienced, etc. I can handle that, even as introverted as I am.

What nobody told me was that I was going to spend my whole time on fucking meetings, one after another, I have not touched my IDE in days, I hate this shit already.

Careful what you wish for they say, so true, I'm stuck here and I hate my job now, probably going to quit as soon as I recover my life, if ever.

As a junior developer, your primary goal should be to learn and absorb as much as you can, not to try to make a name for yourself. It's all too common that I see devs fresh out of college with this amazing gung ho attitude that quickly devolves into needing to feel like the smartest person in the room.
This leads to an unnaturally inflated ego, a feeling of self importance, and blocks you from truly understanding what is going on in the stack in front of you.
That's not to say you can't try to take on difficult tasks, just be humble and ask for help when you need it, and don't make assumptions that might lead to rework later.
I would much rather you ask me a question then put up a PR that has wildly different assumptions because you didn't fully understand the acceptance criteria of a particular task.

tl;dr - sit down, shut up, do your job, learn what you can as fast as you can.

Sincerely,
A very fed up Senior Dev

You can say what you want but cloud services are awesome. I can literally throw my laptop in a bag, travel to the most beautiful place in the world and work from there.

Python Dev Learning C#: I'll just wait until I run the program to see what type the function returns.
Me: Static typing means you know that before the code even compiles!
Python Dev: Sometimes I forget that all functions explicitly say what they can return.

Have you worked on something impressive and wanted to tell a non-programmer about it?
You start to figure out a way to say it, but then you decide 'nah they will not get it'.

But you still want to talk about it with someone so bad... Its super unsatisfying to not be able to explain this tech shit to the people you like.

If you were a pilot, you could say shit like 'i landed a plane during a storm while eating a burrito' and everyone would be like omg thats amazing.

What do I have to say? I made an auto pilot system for a plane, so that a pilot can land it during storm while eating a fucking burrito.. what's their response?

ehm okay <crickets chirping>
🖕🖕

Had an interview with a potential customer last week, and he started questioning my technical capability in the middle of the discussion on the basis that I’m taking notes with pen and paper...

Yes, I can type. At 90+ WPM, I can darn near produce a transcript of everything we say. But I won’t remember any of it afterward, because it passes straight from the ears to the hands without any processing.

“You see, that’s what we have something called ’search’ for...”

...Yeah. Except that doesn’t help with picking out the most important points from a wall of text, organizing it in a way that allows visualizing relationships between concepts, and other non-linear things that are hard to do on the fly in a word processor.

“Well, how about we get you a tablet with a pen and you can just write on that, then?”

How about no.

Ended up turning him down because of other concerns that were raised that were, suffice to say, about as ornerous as you might expect from that exchange.

Dad: God I hate Windows!

Me: Why? You know you can just run the getmac command in CMD, right?

Dad: What? There is a command for that?

Needless to say, my dad is not a network engineer...

So, there was some project going around universities for online lab and connecting students to learn together. My school saw it as opportunity and I was appointed to make a simple web app doing just that.

T - teacher

First there was the database.
T1: "I think that you can design the tables better"
Me: "This is the most logical way, but sure, I can modify it. Although, T2 told me to do it this way."
T1: "Just do what I said"

And I did.

T2: "Why did you change the design, I gave you the schema, didn't I?"

Oh I was so fucking pissed. I'm skipping classes so I can work on this fucking piece of shit and this is what I get. Two self fucking centered idiots.

I resolved situation somehow, then came the frontend. I was told that the T3 will do it I just have to connect it to my backend, great.

So this so called "Teacher of Web design and development" downloaded fucking bloated bootstrap template with scripts longer than my future. It took 2 minutes to just load the html page from local drive.

I told T2 that I will make design it from scratch and I will try to make it look the same. I finished it somehow. Loaded in seconds, worked superb. First thing T1 told me: "Just roll back the design"
He didn't even listen to what I had to say.

Ohh boii, I fucking lost two months on your piece of shit garbage app, and what I have from it? Fucking bag of dicks. The thing is that I have another year with those pricks.
If this is what the industry is like, you guys deserve a medal.

My female coworkers ranting about "how can their partners be so stupid" on "never buying what they where asked for".

I explain to them some actions they might be doing that if done to me has the same effect like :
- asking for something and then start a non stop conversation about something else...

They look at me with a "how can you men be so ridiculous" face and say something like that...
I answer: well, try not doing those things next time and see if it helps.

They are gonna ignore me and keep living their lives without realising that men and women are fucking different...

Go girls.

my mind is multithreaded but can not physically execute more than one thread at a time.

i.e. i want to say 5 sentences in the same time bc im too lazy to wait and say them one by one after a specified delay of time, so i fuck myself over while speaking.

like atomic regions, i bust a few words from time to time from different sentences i have in mind and it ends up not making any sense to what im saying, but it does in my head.

so this is what too much covfefe and sleepless coding nights does to people

NO FUCKING WAY YOU ARE GONNA PAY SOMEONE THE EQUIVALENT OF TWO MONTHS WHAT I MAKE TO DO SOMETHING I CAN DO IN A FUCKING WEEKEND BECAUSE "I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO ALREADY AND COMPANY STUPID POLICY DOESN'T ALLOW EMPLOYEES TO BE CONTRACTED AS FREELANCER ON THEIR SPARE TIME!!
HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU STUPID COCK SUCKER! I BET YOU CANT EVEN SUCK A FUCKING DICK PROPERLY STUPID FUCK!!!!!!!

Apple's marketing department are just dictionary junkies.

Have you guys read some of the latest Apple quotes for their products? You know, the ones where you visit the page and there's some large bold text summarising the product? Here's a few:

HomePod: "The new sound of home."
If you talk over my Spotify music YOU WILL BECOME THE NEW SOUND OF MY SHED.

iPhone X: "Say hello to the future."
E.Musk put a Tesla in space. Also the future can crash with a single character.

MacOS: "Your Mac. Elevated."
If you fly away I WILL use you as birthday balloon.

iPad Pro: "Anything you can do, you can do better."
SOONER OR LATER *Comment what you would put here*

But I mean hey. It sells right.
Reading it back maybe I'm just blind hating.

Had a configure issue on a site running through CloudFlare hosted at WPEngine. Support on chat guy says "can I take a look at your setup" so I screenshot him! He says they're are new ways to point to WPEngine whilst using SSL so I say OK and he points me to a support article which seems accurate. He then says now I want you to change two records so I say ok (not thinking) which I do (stupidly)

Result site no longer reachable.

What do I do now? He says very seriously "you need to wait 24-48 hours for the DNS to propogate"

"Your joking it's a huge site with 20k visitors per day with advertisers on it"

"I'm sorry there is nothing I can do until the DNS YOU changed has propagated"

"I changed?" "Yes you changed the CloudFlare settings"

"You told me to!"

"Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Our story start like this.

Boss: Hey programmer A, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?

Programmer A: I suggest not implement {feature X} because {negative impact of feature X}

Boss: Ok

Boss asks Programmer B.

Boss: Hey programmer B, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?

Programmer B: Of course, no problem

Programmer B asks Programmer A.

Programmer B: Hey Programmer A, Do you know how to implement {feature X} on this application? I have no idea.

Programmer A: WHAT!!! do you know that {feature X}, Will negatively impact our application?

Programmer B: Well that's our boss want, I can't say no.

Programmer A: (F**k I hate this guy)

Can someone tell me how "Marked As Duplicate is even FUCKING HELPFUL?

Stack Overflow and their stupid policies can go fuck themselves. Is the world really going to end if someone writes a question that's been asked before? Especially when you link to a goddamn question that still doesn't answer what I asked?

And then have the gall to say "exact duplicate?"

EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A DIFFERENT QUESTION?

People on dating apps say they are very pissed off and frustrated when they’re ghosted.
As a developer you get eager calls from recruiters talking for hours. They say I’ll catch up with you first thing in the morning. An HR manager says I’ll get back to you in 14 hours (in 14 hours?? very precise). Even you get a contract offer from a manager who is rapidly contacts and convinces you.
Than you hear nothing, you are left on read.
“Professionals” communicate in that way. They are also getting paid whilst taking your time. What can you say to random people behind nicknames?
I don’t know what I would feel if they get back and I’m zombied. I really feel like unmatching meh.

One of my project managers wanted a feature where the user can save over files without having to delete all information of the previous file and that they could go through previous versions. So I told him, "Okay, what you want is a versioning system." Then he proceeded to say no and describe the exact same thing as a versioning system. I wanted to yell at him that that's exactly what he wanted but kept my mouth shut because there is no point in continuing the conversation.

Our project schedule is quite full at the moment, we are basically at the limit for the next three months.

In comes one of our sales people: "Hey, can we squeeze in a little project, nothing fancy just a very basic static web page." (No question mark there, it was not a question...)

I say no, we are full, the deadline is to tight (3 weeks), can't do it.

In comes boss: "Sure you can, just push everything else back." (We won't change deadlines, what he actually means is for us to do unpaid overtime for two months so he can barocke make a few thousand extra bucks...)

So I cave and allow it. It were just 4 hours of work, we can squeeze it in, maybe do a little less R&D this month.

Next day, the project scope changed, suddenly we are not taking about 4 hours but 80. Sure, we can squeeze two extra weeks into the month.

That is when I realized, I don't hate my work, just my work environment.

How to teach a 5 yr child to code?

The method is simple you don't need to teach him to code just help him to understand the method to execute a task. It took me years to understand that coding is a way to express what you want to say- the method and also is our expression. So, if you can help him/her to understand what to express, then I believe the method on how to express is totally unworthy. He/she can say printf("I know this") or print("I know this") or #I know this or he/she may create a new language.
Which you might call: The Baby's Code in future

If you like it do ++

*Boots PC to enjoy overwatch*

I wanted to see what was new with Cortana for some reason
*Asks Cortana what I can say*

One of the options shows an example
"Turn on High Contrast"

*Clicks the mic/listen button*

"Turn on High contrast"

Cortana responds
"Sorry I can't do that yet"

Wow, I just love voice assistants. Thanks Microsoft!

meeting with PM, 1:1
me: well, to be honest, i think there is also some room for improvement concerning communication in our meetings. the discussion culture in our meetings could be more open.
PM: what do you mean? i don't know what you're talking about.
me: well, i feel sometimes that in meetings, you overly challenge what colleagues suggest. on the other hand, it's really hard to argue against what you are saying. what you say is often like engraved into stone and it is hard to argue against that, but the next day you might have changed your mind again and then things are different, but engraved into stone again.
PM: hmm. can you give me some more concrete example?
me: well... (gives some examples) it's just that it would be nice if you would listen more to what people say in meetings and try to understand what they actually mean or want to say, instead of saying "nah, that's not how we do it" or "no, that's wrong"... just.. well, have more trust in our skills, try to find out what people mean before you discard what you think they said... a bit more of appreciation and openness.
PM: oh, i can tell you, i'm the MOST open manager in this whole company.
me: ...
PM: but anyway, i will think about it.
me: well... okay. also i see there are some challenges within our team concerning intercultural communication. i mean, communication between Germans and Indians is in general a bit problematic in our company, and maybe it is a good idea to have some workshop together concerning intercultural competences... i think we could benefit from that. (what i actually meant is, these problems exist, but currently i see them more on his side or between him and Indian colleagues, because e.g. he tends to harshly criticize people in daily standups, and if we "direct" Germans already feel affronted by his behavior, how must Indian guys feel about it? in fact, 2 Indian devs already left the project. also communication doesn't really work well, in a way that there's often a great mismatch between his expectations and what Indian devs actually think they have to do)
PM: i can tell you, i really understand our Indian colleagues, i really know how to work with them. also, their working style has greatly improved since project start. (which doesn't feel quite right after he totally ripped apart the work of one guy in the last sprint review meeting)

of course, that's not the whole conversation, but it's kind of a symptomatic example for the whole situation...

Time for some stats gathering! What mobile phone are DevRanters currently using? I've recently switched from iPhone 5 to Nexus 5X and I can surely say I'm not going back 😁

I need to share this with someone:

I've been using this app for months, maybe an year, without contributing cuz I didn't have anything really valueable to say.

Generaly, my girlfriend and family work at the beach in summer and they need my help but than again I can find the perfect career starting intern which will be worth perspectively at that time.

Why the fuck is my family doing this to me. They obviously need help but I am delaying my career for two years now because of that but after all, family is my treasure and it's more valueable than a career, there will always be internships but what stops me from spending a decade more and still be making the same mistake, but if I don't go I might break up with my gf and mess family things even more I don't want that, what would you do ?

I'm gonna decline the next time someone asks me "hop in chat with them" to discuss their stackoverflow problem.

I'd already given my two cents about the problem in question and I thought something was unclear about that so I say okay what the hell, made a chat room and invited him in.

Him: So I have this OTHER problem with [insert JS plugin]
Me: ... I don't know enough about it. I've used that specific plugin maybe once. The question I offered you my help with was PHP.
Him: Yeah but can you take a look really quick?
Me: I'd have to reread the documentation. I literally don't remember how to use it.
Him: No problem, here's the documentation. I want to do X, Y and Z.
Me: I don't think you can X without doing A and B first.
Him: I was told not to do A, so how can I do X, Y and Z?

Fucking hell I'm not gonna do your job for you. You know english. There is documentation available. Just read it and at least try things.

What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?

Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:

Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?

I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.

However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.

It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.

It's starting again. I can feel it.

You had a decent job, but you had to think otherwise. Then you had to go to that coffee shop tell some people you're the fucking bee's knees, didn't you?

Well, you know that's how the band plays.

Yeah, but now you'll have to live up to the hype, my friend. And you know pretty well that the pocketknife on your belt won't cut it anymore.

I can always learn as I go...

Sure you can. Except this time stakes are higher. They'll be expecting you to deliver on all your bloody greatness. They'll be relying on you. Not only them, but also the person who chose to be with you. And you know you're not enough, for neither of them. Now you'll fuck it up and let all those people down.

But I could build things little by little, lay out a solid groundwork and build up from that. Just like that other time when...

Of course you can. But can you make beautiful sparkly things? Can you make them sexy?

No... But I can make them resilient. I can follow best practices and intelligent design patterns.

Right. Cause design patterns win contests and prizes. Sure.

Well, it'll make things work better. And then when someone else comes along...

They'll say your work smells and let everybody know how it should've been done, because they need to prove themselves. You know that's what people do.

But that's just not fair! Solid work is solid work!

And a fraud is still a fraud. And that's what you are.

My work space. The HP was assigned to me, what can I say?

“Hey - just calling you to give you an update”

Great - sorry can you refresh my memory what was this for?

“So I was about to put you through for a client but they’re no longer accepting CVs so just to update you that’s not happening”

Sorry, what was the client again?

“Oh I can’t say, but they’re no longer accepting CVs”

“...Thanks, goodbye.”

*So you call me to tell me that you can’t give my details to a client that you can’t disclosure....get off my line 🤬😡🤬*

All I Can Say About Java is WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LANGUAGE?

Warning: long rant

I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm the only person who cares about their privacy

I try, as much as I can, to avoid surveillance. I use firefox, protonmail, duckduckgo, e2e encrypted chat platforms, avoid social media like the plague, and do everything I can to block facebook and google trackers on websites I visit

And it's exhausting

Each search I make means I waste another 30 seconds because duckduckgo doesn't pull the answer directly from webpages like google does

I get weird looks when I give people a @protonmail email address, and I have to explain what it is to them every fucking time

People ask if I have social media, and I either give them nothing or my Github account

And for what? Nobody else cares, no matter how much I explain how toxic google and facebook are to society.

They just say 'I have nothing to hide' as they scroll Instagram, letting Zuckerberg build an intimately detailed profile on them.

They just say 'so what' as they google memes from their chrome browser, allowing google to share that information with god-knows-who

If everyone else has given up their privacy for convenience, why am I still fighting a losing battle?

It feels like I'm fighting a war against big tech by myself, and I'm tired and about to lay down my arms

How can some developers send emails like "I did <x> and <y> right, but I still have an error!" with NO copy/paste of the error? Come on, you hate user emails that just say "Your site doesn't work." You should know better.

I'm going to just start answering with "Wow, that sucks, and you did everything right, huh? It must just hate you." I shouldn't have to go force you to tell me what the problem actually is at that basic level.

I used to think this was a user thing. We wouldn't do that... hah, lost user, oh well, that's why we're helping them. Apparently it's not.

At what point can you say you are a programmer of a language? Is there an exact amount of lines of code carved in stone somewhere? I call myself a Python Programmer because even know I am self tought, I have been working with the language for years and I am very good with it. "Professional" level by some accounts, though I wouldn't go as far to say that myself. I have been working with Java a couple of weeks and it has been going very well, but I wouldn't call myself a Java programmer, but should I? At what point does one pass that line?

Idk.. Just a little shower thought for ya. What do you think?

"I'm not very smart with computers"

Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!

And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...

Got a gift from my friend. It was from an Indiegogo project. It worked fantastically until it has broken recently.
Although 1 year warranty was promised according to the site, the fact that it's from Indiegogo means that's non existence (I'd say if you actually receive the thing, you're very lucky). So I disassembled it and had a look.
Now I'm thinking maybe I just need to hack my way in to find out what that blown chip is and if I can replace it.
I am also disgusted by the Chinese printed on the IC...

I have discovered a fresh hell

Some guy I’ve never met or heard of in the office lobbed a comment at one of my *approved and merged* pull requests. He doesn’t say anything specific, only that my REST urls are not in line with naming convention. That’s all he says, and I’ve already walked the URL consumers through the code and given them the URLS.

I’m really annoyed that this guy won’t just say what he has in mind, but fine whatever this is a professional environment and developers are not known for being a diplomatic people. Let it go and get your work done!

I do some googling and find an obvious change that needs to happen- I implement it, open a new pull request and inform my URL consumers of the change.

This rando still isn’t satisfied and still won’t say what needs to change. I am on round 3 of this wonderful cycle and this guy is acting all fuckin HAUGHTY about it. “Here is a list of conventions I found googling, you should read them even if it takes 4 hours because it will benefit your career”

Sure dog you’re probably right on that one but we are in a professional environment and at this point you are holding up production so you can wave your dick around! Just SAY WHAT YOU MEAN SO WE CAN MAKE THE CHANGES AND GET OUR WORK DONE

My patience limits are huge but our product manager seems that likes to stretch them.

You piece of fuckin shit. You ask for feature A and we agree on the way we will do it. Good. Half way you want to change it's behavior.
Fine, i accept that. Let's move on.
I'm close to finish it and you come and say let's add more on that feature and make it more complicated. I can't say anything, just fine and let me work on it.
Then you and the senior dev that "helps" us don't come to 2 meetings and just communicate via emails.
And then, then you fuckin scums tell me that is unacceptable that i haven't finished it and it doesn't work?
I used my uni time and missed lessons to work on your shitty feature and that you just yell at me?
What about comming to the fuckin meetings so we can discuss what problems occured and how i can overcome them, you sucker?

Just because our boss complained to you that the product is late because of you, that doesn't give you the right to yell at me, you piece of shit.

And the next time you tell me that you pulled the repository and it doesn't work while it does on everyone else i will come and shove your laptop up to your ass.

So I've started learning Rust and I must say it feels great! But some parts of the language, like enums, are quite different than what I'm used to.
As a proof of concept I've reimplemented a small API (an Azure Function App) in Rust with Actix Web and it's FAST AS FUCK BOIII.
The response is served about 5x as quckly and the memory footprint shrinked from some 90 MB to around 5 MB.
In my small scale usecase it's not a huge difference, but I think it can be massive at large scales...
What is your experience with Rust (at scale)?

I wish I could quickly reimplement the whole fucking CMS Of Doom™ in Rust... but no time and resources :(

Serious Question/Poll

Imagine a job where instead of a worker, you're a partner. Hold on, I know that sounds markety...

Let's say instead of an employee, you're basically like a free agent. The company has a pool of projects that are approved to develop, and you can pick what project and what team to work on. More than that, you can even choose how much you want to work on it, and get paid accordingly in ownership stake of said project (on top of your base salary)

What if you were encouraged to submit your own ideas about everything, and that feedback is instantly public, before anyone (management) can water it down, take credit, or worse, suppress it entirely.

What if you could work from anywhere, home, not home, middle of the ocean, whatever.

Plus, we give you a budget to buy your own pc/mac whatever. As long as you can code on it, we don't give a shit.

Also, foosball and ping pong, beer, coffee, cool work environment and all that kind of shit too.

Paid training, for even whimsical new technology, in fact, especially so.

Want to do agile, fine, hate it? fine, just find the team and project that does what you want.

What else am I missing?

Guy sees me on my laptop and says "is that Linux?". I say yes then he says he is into computer "stuff and can hack anything". Not having a clue what that means I replied with a "awesome".

I don't have really any friends that are into "computers", so I decided to play ball.

I asked, "Are you into coding?.. he says, "Yes". Then I ask, " What languages?" He says, " Just what ever, anything really, it depends on what I am doing."

At this point I understand what is going on but it is so awkward. He continues.. "Recently I used.. what's it called abd or adb, you know I like rooted my phone"...

And let's talk about something else....

Why do people feel the need to lie or whatever you might call what happened. It might be different I think if he wasn't about 40.

I feel like this is a pretty common story

Ok, im officially at the point where I can say this and I don’t say it lightly.. I’m really unhappy..
It’s hard for me to be happy anyway but being unhappy is not the same as not being happy IMO..

I’m so angry, especially at the western governments but also at the western society for making everything down that we’ve built over hundreds of years..

I’m socially pretty conservative I’d say. I have my values and manners which are very important to me. I try to be kind, diplomatically correct, hard working and honest but people sh!t all over that. Almost on a daily basis people tell me to “just lie”, it’ll solve the problem or to blame someone else.

What happened to work for what you want? And to “Be honest and loyal and it will pay off”? It’s more like the opposite nowadays..

Lie to everyone you can, cheat your way through every conflict and try as hard as you can to be a victim and all will work out…?

My boss had an interview ihr a grad student and she caught him googling stuff, trying to hide it. I told her to not even consider him but she thought he “deserves” another chance..
someone who applies and lies “deserves”??? You don’t DESERVE anything, you EARN it.. if you can’t earn it then sorry but this job is probably not for you.. not to mention that this guys CV was full of crap..

I just wanna find a woman, buy a farm an go off grid for a couple of years 😅 oh wait.. that’s legally not possible in pretty much any European country.

I took a Computer ethics class some time ago, and at some point, we talked about honesty in Computer Science.

There was one thing that bothered me that we never had the chance to touch on, but how do I know that the button I'm clicking is doing what I want it to do?

I mean seriously there is really nothing that is stopping someone from making fake buttons that pretend to do what they say they are doing. I might be uninstalling something on my computer, but can I "really" trust that the software was "completely" removed?

As a developer I always strive for honesty, but that doesn't mean other people are.

How do you guys deal with this?

I know we have a lot of talented people here. Piece of advice, what ever you build, believe in it. See it through. No matter how good of an idea incompleteness won't get you anywhere.
After all every other day we all analyze different successful products and say "huh... that's nothing. Even we can do that".
Well thats the difference "We" can do that, they DID it.

See your ideas through. Stay motivated =)

Client: here's what we want, a website where someone can directly edit any file on the website, php that java thingy all of it. Hell allow them to access, the os so they can see how that works to.

Me: ... Hey great idea ... We could set the server up in your offices ! I could link the server to all your computer's they can modify anything you have on there as well. That won't cause any issues.... At all.
Client: urm why?
Me: *hangs up* sigh ....

It's a fake scenario.... But how I feel like when I speak to clients 😐 based off what some guy wanted to do, a whole training thing for devs to learn how servers work ... The idea is ok to train... Say an apprentice, but he wanted to attach this to the Internet.... Not limit its use... Obviously way to expensive.

What can I say?, I love to work on Cancún

Hoi meet my desktop guardians. What can i say? I like big bots and i cannot lie.

So for context, I'm doing an Apprenticeship in IT and naturally I've been put on help desk.

I've recently been given a phone on my desk since I'm trusted enough and know enough about our software that there's no risk to me accepting calls.

I get the standard ones, a number from a different country, poorly pronouncing a co-workers name, asking if they can speak to them. I give my normal response, "I'll just check if they're in a meeting and I'll get back to you" (which they somehow always are) and ask if they would like to leave a message. They obviously don't since they're usually scams.

Since Tuesday I've started getting calls from "BT Technical Support". I don't use BT. My company doesn't use BT. So, it's clearly a scam.

Yesterday, the same guy calls me up, Thomas he says his name is. I go along with it for a while, agreeing that I've noticed our network has been slow until the point where he asks me to begin to install TeamViewer. I realise what he's going to do so I ask him what the problem with our network is.

I hear him start to respond but he stops. He's got no clue what to say, so I say to him, "Thomas mate. I think our biggest problem with our BT network is that we don't have BT."

He puts the phone down.

So I ask you for help, lovely people of devRant.

I have a Windows 10 VM ready to go. I have a couple notepad files labelled as "Passwords" and "Bank Details". What else can I throw on there to make this guy think he's hit the jackpot without really causing too much damage?

Any ideas would be appreciated. <3

Today I discovered the yes command in Linux. All I can say is yes. Thank you whoever did this. Friggin 1.5 billion y's in 10 seconds. That is exactly what I need.

Can someone explain me AI/ML/DL in traditional algorithmic way without AI jargons?

What I currently understand is that they convert the training data to numbers based on a complex black boxed mathematical algorithm and then when a new data comes in, the same conversion is done and a decision is taken based on where the the new number fits in within the geometry/graph plot of the old numbers from training. The numbers are then updated. Is this what they call AI? Nearest number/decision search?

Kindly try to avoid critic, I am having a difficult time understanding the already trending AI stuff. People say that the algo exists from long back but only now we have the compute power.

Start raising tickets/bugs like you were going to the doctors and things would get fixed a lot faster.

X page doesn't work.

Great information there what about the page isn't working?

Doesn't answer the question and gets pissy when you have to ask them again.

If this was a doctor's appointment all you would've done is walked into my office and yelled it hurts over and over.

Then proceeded to shit on my floor as you're leaving because I didn't diagnose the problem fast enough.

What were you trying to do when the system took a crap?
What did the red text say?
Can you take a screenshot? because the old saying a picture paints a thousand words holds some truth.

If you can go to the doctor and give them a full run down of when you got sick and what symptoms you got in the same order they happened why do you struggle to do the same when reporting a bug.

OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"

What I say: I'm a computer science major.

What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.

What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.

I give out ++ like their candy. What can I say I like to increment

I finally heard a retarded question on a job interview. I thought they were just jokes.. I was wrong!
What kind of a question is "how would your friends describe you?"..
They'd say I'm fucking awesome, did you expect a different answer?
Or when I gave them a referral, my previous boss, and they asked me what would he say about me.. well fuck me sideways, I have no idea.

And one of the last ones, "tell us your three top qualities that would make us hire you". What kind of information does such a question even give them? Are they testing me how well I can lie? Because I can't, and others that can lie will give a better answer, regardless of the reality.

And they were even taking notes after these questions.

Other than that, nice company. I really want to start working there soon.

Wtf. So if I say I'm a web developer and I say I'm from Russia. Then I am automatically a hacker for you? "Web developer + Russian = 95% chance of being a hacker". Yeah, right. Since now, right after I say I'm from Russia I always add this: "No, I'm not a hacker and no, I didn't hack the last election, but I can tell you your last four digits of your SSN if you show me your debit card". Guess what, no one wants to talk to me anymore.

Today, I say farewell to a piece of software that has shared my professional uprising as a dev, today I let go off an old friend, today i uninstall chrome, after nearly 12 years of dedication, hard work and pain staking performance issues from time to time, you went from the child star that fixed what was wrong with browsers back in 2008, and became the abusive man child that crashes my system when I open you now, so enough with your bullshit.

Today I transfer my things to Edge(chromium) and say farewell old friend, there's only so many BSOD's you can cause just by launching a new tab without hardware acceleration before I can not stand the sight of you anymore.

I wish you a good and stable life, but your creators obviously couldn't give a fuck anymore about being the "light weight and fast" browser you once were.

Fucking nice, my damn PC has problems handling RAM and can't stay more than 1 minute in any OS without crashing. Windows bluescreens with MEMORY_MANAGEMENT or other bullshit. Nice fucking situation. It's either my CPU's IMC or all of the four RAM sticks. Long tests say it's not my board. Either way, I'm fucked because I haven't got any money to replace my PC yet.

What a coincidence, I got similar parts to someone on Google+ who lives near me and has this exact problem EXCEPT HE CAN REPLACE HIS PC SOON AND I CAN'T. GREAT.

Do you guys often get upset because of people that ask your job because when somebody asks me what I do for a living and I say "I'm a programmer" this someone says one of these:

1- Oh really, can you tell me HoW tO HaCk NaSa? (It's more often than you think)

2- WOW AWESOME SO I HAVE THIS BiLlIon DolLarS ApP IdeA CaN yOu ProGraM iT?

3- Hm... and... what do you do for a living? (Apparently programming is not a job)

4- Cool! Me too! Bcs once I MaDe ThiS GaMe I prOGraMmed WiTh GaMeMaKer (true story, and it was a flappy bird, but in the place of the bird it was chuck norris with a moustache instead.)(with lasers.)(Also it wasn't really working.)

5- Cool bro, so, can you take a look at my printer?

6- Hm nice * looks away with disgusting face * (that was my own family lol ;-;)

If point-and-click game made in PowerPoint, that my grandma actively played because of boredom, is "creative hacky solution", then there you have it.

First game is "The Adventures of Sayid", second "Hide and Seek" with creepy pasta sound and graphic assets from Shrek: Activity Center.
Well, that's my childhood without Internet, what I can say!

This happen to me once when I was a young kid walking home from school.

There were two other guys with me, older than me. They were talking to each other about programming languages. I have been programming from a very young age so I knew a lot about programming and I knew a few languages back then, but they were taking about Java, a language which I wasn't into yet back then, so I just listened for a while to what they had to say.

The first guy told the other, "You know I'm great at Java." The other guy responded "I can do anything in Java." Then I said as a joke "Oh, can you do hello world?". The guy said "Hello what? What do you mean?" The other guy said. "Is that a retro game?" I just laughed. Then I told them to go learn how to output text in Java.

A bit of current history about these guys:
The first now works in C# for a quiz test company, he never learned Java or languages other than C#. The second one owns and works at a scrapyard. They are both great guys, but they like to brag.

After being a miserly bastard and settling on VirtualBox for my VM needs on OSX, I downloaded a Parallels trial a couple weeks back, and today, I'm happy to announce I bought a license!

VirtualBox can go do one.

I've ditched Studio for Rider, and now Parallels, what has the world come to when a dev actually buys software?!

The end is nigh I say, nigh.

So, I've come to hate Sundays. You might ask me, why? Why Sunday of all days? The answer is very simple: My wont-shut-her-fucking-mouth roommate.

Woman should be a commentator at sport events. She woke up at 10 in the morning and has been talking to what seems like the entire fucking population of this goddamn world, it's going to be 10 in the night soon. I feel like I am staying as a leech so I have no say in this goddamn room.

Please someone help me design a fucking signal jammer so I can block out the signals to shut her up!

Kill me now!
FML

Talking to a second year student about what they've learnt so far, and what they should learn next:

"Cool, so what general topics would you say you know really thoroughly at the moment?"

"Oh, I've now learnt Java, C#, C, C++, Rust, Javascript, node.js, HTML, CSS, Angular, Vue, Erlang and probably a bunch of other stuff I've forgotten. What do you think I should concentrate on next?"

"Hmm. Probably best to take just one of those and learn it really thoroughly."

"...but I already know them all really thoroughly."

"Ok. Can you explain what an abstract class is in say Java, C# or C++?"

"Sure, I can create a new class called abstract and then use it for abstraction. I do that loads."

...🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

First lesson: Stop BS'ing. Might work for flexing to non-devs, but that's about it.

At a previous job I bumped heads with the IT person a lot because he would spread misinformation about technology so the owners would never replace him. This was conversation with the VP:

VP: Hey I just got a new security setup at my house and I can monitor everything with my phone.
Me: That's cool.
VP: I'm rethinking it because [IT guy] said it was very dangerous to have, what do you think?
Me: ....? What did he say was dangerous about it?
VP: He said hackers could then gain access to cameras and plan the perfect time to rob me since it's in the cloud.
Me: I seriously doubt anyone is planning an Ocean's 11 heist to steal your TV.
VP: Yea I thought it sounded weird when he told me.

why I say FUCK AI -

-> So much stupidity with "It will replace devs". Any dev who has more than 2 brain cells has had their issues with ChatGPT or AI knows that AI is not sufficient nor good enough to get even basic tasks done.

-> "It will be good in 5 years" - well then, talk to me after 5 years. I'm not buying a product or an idea on a "promise". I judge the tech for what it is today, not on what it can be in 5 years.

-> "Just trust me bro" - I see influencers suck that robot dick, but no explanations are given. What they say sounds to me like it's parroted off of general mass media. Nothing new to add nor any insight.

-> AI has issues that nobody seems to talk about. Hallucinations being the biggest of them all. ChatGPT tells you something, and you're supposed to take it as fact? That's too dangerous for a normal person.

-> Junior software developers are scared even to this day that AI can replace them. If they can't think for themselves, it falls upon us (or at least, me) to drive them in the correct direction or give them real opinions on what it is.

I ordered new computer by separate parts so I will have what I want. Choose to not be delivered by mail but pick it up by myself, so it will be faster. Boy I was wrong.

First of all one part was not available so I have to wait one week longer. Then after a week they say I can pick it up. But I was on vacation.

Finally I was back so I went pick it up. Came there and they said they can't find one part. It supposed to be there but they can't find it right now.

So now I am still waiting.

As I am not that advanced (started off as a 'jack of all trades' - huge mistake) in programming (about a bit below average), I'm just overwhelmed by knowledge of someone here, yet I am happy to know how much I can learn in next couple of years. 😀 I feel kinda stupid when I see everyone posting what programming horror or stuff they are going through and I am there be like (sometimes) - I know some of these words 😂
I am a newbie in this community (but soph. student in uni) thus I'd like to just say hi and wish everyone a good day even if things are not good at the time🤗😃💪

i hate linux like a lot , how do you guys use it

like you guys dont want an advertising ID, how the fuck will advertisers know who you are and what you like?

open source , give me a break, you mean your os devs are soo untrustworthy that you just have to see what they wrote in the code, who does that?

free come on, how poor are you linux people, i mean, quality stuff gets paid for, free stuff just means it's trash

and the linux devs , the aint like real coders they are just hobbysts, making your os in their free time

and who wants to install their own software anyway, on other platforms the company curates restricted software that you can use, and i know you'll say its oppressive but its just customer protection.

and i do want my platform to track everything i do, it only helps them build better stuff for me.

and whenever they decide to outdate my hardware and kill support for it, it only means they care and want me to get the latest tech, how considerate.

wait , i hear you say, there are no bugs in linux, my vendor makes sure my os comes with the latest antivirus software, nothing can break my system.

and just because linux runs on servers and most super computers only shows that common users like you and me are ignored, at least my vendor is not a sellout, and still makes stuff for the masses.

you say freedom i say safety i can sleep safe and sound for am protected nutured under one echosystem of software that i can not leave.

We often rant about people who think that because we can program we can do everything with computers.

But I have to admit that when I get asked what I do I often only say that I program or do something with computers. I usually don't get more specific because it's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't know anything about the subject that I would have to explain the basics each time. And I'm just to lazy for that.
It's nice when people ask me how it is going at work but I probably won't say anything more than ok or fine because my day was fucked up by a memory alignment bug in the chainloader and I now don't have the patience to explain what these both things are and why they fuck up my day.

A client once send me an email and wrote that his internet connection is down. I replied asking him to just reboot his pc. He thanked me later on.... What can I say....

Bruh.

Who are you gonna “fuck”? Who do you “hate”? Who are you calling “motherfuckers” on the internet where your targets can’t see what you posting?

You look like you close the refrigerator door with your hip. I suck dicks literally and there is nothing to be ashamed of but you suck dicks metaphorically when you accept everything they require. That’s the difference between a gay and a faggot. I’m gay but I can say “no” to anything my client or my employer says without losing my job because I have the authority and I have the expertise.

You, on the other hand, have nothing. You only brave when no one can hear you and there is no repercussions.

That’s why you only act tough with delivery guys and cashiers.

!dev

Im working with morrons...

So someone had bright idea of having clone setup of our servers in other hosting company (in previous company we have rendundant setup). Whatever, maybe they want to be resistant to thermonuclear war or whatever, like the project wasn't underfunded already... Whatever, fuq it.

And with that, I have like really, really really fucking ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT STUPID questions thrown at me.

So, this particular instance of bullshit started with trivial, literally "how much storage capacity we will need" I anwsered at least 4TB, preferably on redundant disk array, I've added small table what uses what and how much etc.

Than I got mail back...
"Thats not enough information:
1. What we need to say to company ABC
2. What we need to say to company XYZ
3. (this one actually had sense) Backups conception
4. **WILL WE PAY FOR SERVERS**
5. other important things (literally)"

So let's break it down.
Im backend guy. What the fuck do I know what you gonna say to XYZ or ABC. I dont give a shit, for me it's clicking setup new server and Im done for, you are overcomplicating as shit and require special care from hosting company that you will pay extra.
Next one, the killer one. What the fucking fuck. my anwser was literally "yes, we need to pay for servers, servers arent free."

Now tell me. How the fuck it is possible that someone can be such an idiot to ask questions like that. and I dont mean #3. maybe even #1 and 2 is like looking someone to throw responsibility on. But why the fuck I have to anwser mail that literally asked me if servers are free.

No, fuck off idiot, I have actual work. Take your bullshit and spread it somewhere else.

E:

and before anyone asks. No, Im not working in kindergarden but I often feel like I am indeed working within kindergarden full of 30+ mentally handicapped toddlers.

When a manager asks if you can implement a feature (their are legitimately not sure if it is even possible) and you say yes and they say, "Good, 'cause I already assured the client that we would provide it on the next release"
Like, what the actual fuck...

I think God is a developer. I have to say a most impressive feat, even for God, is the idiot algorithm. It has persisted through millennia of attempts to remove it, but it just keeps refining itself. While it's incredibly brief, its functions are yet to find an environment in which they cannot operate. It's full adaptable to any task, impressively modular, and self replicating.

No matter how what problem you present it with the idiot algorithm can always find a solution. It never leaves well enough alone. It can even give you an answer before everything is fully processed!

I remember when clients would ask for "validated" html when 9/10 of the biggest sites didn't even validate. It was like these people did a little internet research and some listicle somewhere told them the "5 things you MUST have in a web developer" and even though they didn't have one fucking clue what it meant, hell, they just HAD to have it. "But will it validate...?" If you can say that in a painfully whiny nasal voice you just took a step inside my head.

Having to fill skills field in my internship CV suddenly makes me realize that i actually am not really good at anything.

Some friends say that i'm a can-do-it-all person when i actually just learn how to do what i need to do on the spot.

To my client who wants a two-column formatted email built with tables in Constant Contact to appear in the same two-column format on mobile devices: You're lying when you say your previous developer achieved a legible, mobile, tiny screen email this way. I know because I can see the previous email formatting. In fact, I cloned that exact email and merely swapped out the content. You really do not understand what you're asking for.

What can i say .. siss got hooked....

I sometimes feel like some people's comments on devrant are enough for a mental health crisis diagnosis. I wonder, how can we diagnose people through text? And can, let's say, ML do any better.

I mean; let's say for example abusive behaviors. This may be an online community but that doesn't stop some from abusing others, right? But the only form of communication here is text, right? What if you could diagnose... Not even that. What if you could inform a mental health expert about a toxic behavior online? We do have a lot of "internet policing" but we have no "internet mental health help" for toxic behaviors and attempts to mitigate that. I don't mean banning people. I mean literally in simplest form tag a psychotherapist in the convo.

Just thinking. :)

My non-techie girlfriend tends to get a tad pissed at me when she understands what people are talking about when she overhears them talking about programming stuff, e.g. "website with Python backend" or "differences between JavaScript and EcmaScript"... what can I say, she's the best rubber duck there is!

There are no stupid or dumb questions. A lot of headache has been and could have been saved by one person asking what seemed like a stupid question.

I would now expand on this to say that if the question is procedural in the sense that it’s asking “what” or “how”, you should make every attempt to come to an answer yourself and then ask for clarification. If the question revolves around “why”, there are no stupid questions. A lot can be overlooked in a cascade of moving pieces.

I used to be a Java fanboy.

After seeing the modern things one can do with other languages I am just disappointed, that Java is so old-fashioned.
Some would say "BUT IT HAS LAMBDAS".
Good, that we have lambdas. We don't have optional parameters or objects (like in JS's {} or PHP's stdClass).
JVM may have many advantages, but I think, that Java is slowly dying although it is kept alive by some companies, still using Java in prod.
I think, that Kotlin is, what Java should have been.

I hope, that my wishes will be implemented in Java 10. If not, Java is considered as dead.

Firts social hacking ever 😁😁😁

In the bus at the end of the day
Me:(fake phonecall to Bell)ho you offert me a 10go of data per months for 30$ ! Wow

Guy in bus: he call is phone company and give all is Private information in the bus to have a better deal.

Me: poke him and say "you know now i can create accounts on your billing address for free"

Guy: Holy shit man you are right i need to take care.

Me: now change all you password contains what you publicly said.

Me: have a good day 😋

In my previous work, when I was under pressure (very often, because we were to few people for all the work) I used to manage the situation in the following way:

PM: It's super-important and prioritary to develop < 2 days feature >. Sales really need that feature because they cannot work without it.

Me: Ok. I'll need from them < 2-hours-to-get data > and then I can leave what I'm doing and start with the feature.

PM: *... goes to tell sales ... comes back*

PM: Well, they say they can work by doing < some not as confortable way as feature, but pretty acceptable >.

Me: Ok, then I'll continue trying to prevent the systems break down inminently.

On this work I learned a lot, but clearly, we were too few people to mantain the site, and too much lazy sales people.

Becoming member of a political party.

I met a lot of smart people, had many great debates about different issues, yet most of all: I learned how dangerous group dynamics can be. (It's insane how fast Us-vs-Them-group-thinking can manifest itself.) I learned to reflect myself (the hard way) and that if I want to convince someone, rational arguments is not enough if you are a dick about it and that sometimes the how you say things is so much more powerful than the what.

Basically, I learned a valuable lesson on how (not) to communicate. I still profit from that on a daily basis in my work as a developer.

(On the other hand, the whole experience made me rather cynical about the state of the world at large.)

!dev related

I think I might need to visit the doctor soon.

I just can't get hungry and if I do try and eat I feel like shit not even 10 minutes after. Only after many hours of going by without eating do i really feel hunger and can eat without my stomach wanting to kill myself.

Yesterday for example. Ate at around 1 o clock (without being hungry) and not even 5 mins later i was lying down in my couch feeling like absolute shit.

Didn't eat anything throughout the rest of the day and today I am feeling like I could eat an entire horse by myself.

I don't know what is happening to me. I am dropping pounds like crazy and been feeling super tired. Really creeped out at what the doctor might say about why this is happening.

I would like to think that is stress and nothing more.

[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!

When project managers are panicking and you know you are really so close from done, a few fixes and everything will fall into place. But manager is on your neck because "nothing is working" now you must take time to be their psychologist instead of working on what is actually making them panic 🙃 development is a rough space. One bug can stand in front of working products just like that

I really wanna say, please fuck off for a few hours. Thanks bye.

Friends and family: Hooo so you make sites and stuff?
Me: well yes let's say that...
F&F: I got this amazing idea for a site! Can you make it?
Me: Yes sure, will take x day for about x$$$
F&F: What?! I have to pay?? Gave you the idea for free...

So with the advent of Docker Desktop going premium we thought we'd buy a couple licenses... What did the HR team say?

"No, you're fine - we can just keep using it - how will they know?"

WHAT??!!! I will NOT be the one who gets brought into a multi-million dollar lawsuit because HR are a bunch of nitwits. I will fight this with everything I have so that when ouch time comes, i can say i didnt participate in the shady bullshit these people are recommending.

when you have to use one language inside of another, and you basically have to call functions allowing you to call the other's language function within it, and you get the hell confused, since it gets harder and harder to see what is what and who can call who and how, and the compiler ofc. won't say anything about it since it only cares about the main language you are in and not the nesting of the other...
I just have no idea what I'm doing right now, or if my thought process and understanding of this is even close to where it is supposed to be.
D: I'm just confused and insecure about this right now....

time for experiments to figure this out, and get the hang of it

Meeting at 'Derp & Co', the topic was what data model should send the back-end to frontend & app via API calls:

- Coworker: 'we should send the data structured like this for reasons'.
- Me: 'Yeah, this nested object.object.object should do the trick for the front end, but this will be a pain in the ass to convert to POJOs. Why not use something like idk better structure?'

<Mad/intrigued faces>

- CoworkerS: 'Why you need to use POJOs?'
- Me: <More Mad> 'cause I work with java in android... and we have/need/like objects?

<Captain Obvious left the room>

- CoworkerS: 'Oh yeah, well... we can do it the way you say'.

Why you need Objects... what is the next?
- Git? For what? Did not have the usb key from day one?

Ahhh DevRant, lemme tell you, having a girlfriend is great. Especially when she's there for you through possibly the toughest time in your life. Needless to say, I'd like to take on the incredible task of trying to show her my gratitude and love by using my programming prowess to make her something...

Unfortunately, I am stumped. I'm not much for art so I can't create Something overly visual for her, but I want it to have meaning. Any ideas folks? Seriously, what can I make my girlfriend? I need help :/

!rant
Communication is IMPORTANT, and the way to approach someone is also IMPORTANT.

I experienced that my colleague is from China, and his English accent is so strong (in the context of not understandable, like the word 'folder' he pronounces it 'foda', and the word 'code' he pronounces it 'korr') that I have to ask him to repeat himself (which sometimes I felt guilty to ask him to repeat for thrice, and I am still not able to understand) or maybe we can do it over text. It is much easier to understand him that way and I can leverage these texts to see a bigger picture of the message.

From this, I realised I need to work more on understanding what he is going to say and what he actually meant.

Any advice for me?

Client: I need you to integrate with this API.

Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?

Client: what do think we should do?

Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*

Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...

Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.

...now at the market stocking up on redbull

I’m stressing out man. I can look at let’s just say a sorting algorithm for now. I can look at that insertion sort and I can understand what’s happening, but if you were to tell me I was supposed to be able to write that just based off a description I couldn’t. I need to be able to design and understand algorithms but I don’t know where or how to start. There was some course I was gonna try and see what that does. I put aside JS completely to focus on C# but I’m just stressing out over here. I learned the basics of C# although I feel like I’m learning it wrong but I’m moving on to SQLite and it’s my first Database experience and it’s confusing me and I also don’t know how I’m going to be able to use it for my future applications yet I’m just expecting too much out of me idk I love programming but sometimes it’s a cruel mistress

!rant

What is something I can complete in a week (let's say 30-40 hours) as a newbie (I made an android app, played around with engines like unity and unreal here and there, tried some c#, and I always mess around with the linux command line, my RPi, etc etc)? I'll start working in a dual-studying job ('applied CS') in 2 weeks so I'll have enough learning-without-doing to do. I just want to learn something by doing something useful (e.g. a small android app that I can put ads in or sell, or maybe provide something for free that people like. I don't want to write my own engine( that'd take very long anyways) or make a compiler because I feel that'd be kind of useless and even though it'd probably be fun, I would lack initiative.

FUCK YOU TECH LEAD! Our manager explained what he wanted 4 MONTHS AGO! You said we could do it! We can do it! You suddenly changed your mind, instead of asking me WHO IS WORKING ON THE PARTS REQUIRED TO DO THE MAGIC! MAYBE I WOULD KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE OR NOT??? MAYBE??? NOW I HAVE TO GO FIGHT YOU, YOUR EGO WILL SAY YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU WONT BACK DOWN, AND WE WILL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! FUCK, RUINING MY 4 DAY WEEKEND RELAXATION! AND IN FRONT OF THE BOSS!!! FUCK

The number of ‘Junior FRONT-end’ positions that list Node.js as a requirement.

So instead of drinking shit like Pepsi Max while coding on a weekend, and since it's so hot lately, I thought I'd buy a blender and some fruits and make frozen fruit drinks.

After unpacking the blender, I notice a booklet with a few recipes.

All I can say, is, ":/".

I'm thinking about making a frozen watermelon and peach drink right now. What do you guys like to drink when it's really hot (besides coffee)?

On the most serious of notes, and i need yall to think hard about this.

What makes you a good developer whether Backend or Frontend or Web or mobile.

What qualities actually make you a good developer?

I mean, we all use google, github, stack overflow etc. So what makes Programmer A better than Programmer B.

and in a more practical sense, ive been coding for two years now and i have deployed an API written in node and an instagram automation tool in PHP (which is down now due to lack of funds), i lack frontend knowldge (but i want to make up for that) and i have projects that when i finish, with my connections can and will blow up in terms of income. now you on the other hand, what makes you better than me?

and lastly, how much code do you have to change from an existing project, lets say from github for you to comfortably say, yes this is mine.

I hate it when a family member ask me to fix something and I fold and try and fix it. I start to troubleshoot and they see what I'm doing and say "oh I thought you knew how to fix it, NVM I can do it." Like wtf this is how u fix stuff

Much as I hate to say it, I'm finding chatgpt useful. Not for writing code. But I can recognise where my colleagues are making mistakes. I don't necessarily know what the mistake is, but I give gpt a description of what they're doing wrong and it can say what the problem is and that gives me something to Google. Searching directly for the description doesn't work too well. Also makes me wonder if search has got worse outside of specific keyword matching.

I'm considering to build a powerful, small/semi-portable mini-ITX PC. Just small box you can easily travel with, kinda like a laptop but a lot cheaper and without a screen, keyboard and battery - I can't really work on laptops anyway (ergonomics!). Stuffed with something like a 4400G when Renoir (mainstream Zen2) comes out, so lots of processing power. Add 32GB+ RAM and one or two SSDs.

I'd say the reason is that I might work from abroad (remotely) next year, but honestly, it just gives me an excuse to break my piggy bank!

What do you think?

So I have a question regarding what I should learn next. I am going to my 3rd year in college and you can say that I am sort of baby MERN stack developer. Baby because I don't have a lot of production/real world experience. Now I need to decide whether I want to continue to work with JS in web dev. Or should I go to some other language for web dev like . NET or python. Or should I start learning GraphQL, or Machine learning. I am quite interested in blockchain and devops also, but I need to make a decision and please give me advice as to what you think will help me in the future.
I know I am all over the place but that is literally my brain since last few weeks.
Thanks in advance, I'll do a ++ as a form of my thanks.

Reading through one of my posts I’ve realized how much ego programmers can actually have. Guys, some of you have already mastered or grasped more than just the foundations of the industry standard languages, as well as developed a very solid intuition behind some design patterns and a solid understanding of some frameworks and libraries, say NumPy, say React... we get it.

You don’t have to be such condescending assholes and be offended by some of the jokes we, programming beginners, make to release stress or just to have fun.

You already have some amazing developer and engineering skills. Do not ruin it with such a detrimental attitude; I make this post because I myself have made this mistake, and I still do to this day. But if what I’ve felt reading your comments is what non-programming people feel when around me, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found that some people hated me or just wanted to kill me.

I don’t know if this will get downvot’d or if more people think like this. But I needed to share this, even just as a reflection of my very own attitude.

Thank you for your time,

D.

Tomorrow I must present a summery of what the prof said in the first session of security+ within 20 min.
All he said was about the most important security certs and some definitions including CIA triangle.

Any idea how I can make my summery cooler or anything relative I can say in addition to those?

I took a list on my job applications the other day. So far i’ve contacted 35 companies this year!

You can say about this covid crisis what you want but you can’t deny i’m pro-active. More talks tomorrow ánd friday. #wishmeluck

I use to work in companies that have none or one female dev. The guys hired a girl and placed her seat in the farthest corner from the Air Conditioner.
Idiots. All others pleasing her with any stupid request, like "it's hot in here, can I turn on the AC?" and all others say "YES OF COURSE" as they can pronounce those words while drooling.
You know what? She puts the AC in 18 CELCIUS (64 Farenheit, - you're welcome)
I AM RIGHT UNDER THE AC, I'M COMMUTING TO THE OFFICE WITH EXTRA CLOTHING IN SUMMER BECAUSE OF THOSE IDIOTS. I HAVE TO PROTECT MYSELF OF GETTING A COLD IN SUMMER BECAUSE OF OTHER'S INABILITY TO MANAGE THEIR TESTORONE.

After 25 years working in the IT industry, as a web designer, developer, digital marketing professional, and a bunch of other stuff, I've had it up to here with recruiters who approach me on LinkedIn. After having (presumably) reviewed my extensive and detailed résumé and testimonials from people I've worked with that I put there for the world to see, they then are surprised when I tell them in no uncertain terms and before anything else is said that, yes, I'm interested and that I need $X in compensation to take the job they're offering. They just don't know what to say to that. Here's a hint: "Yeah, that sounds like something we can work with. Let's schedule an interview." or "Sorry, we're not paying that much." But say _something_.

I figure that I'm done playing the "We have a job, and we want you to jump through a million hoops to find out what we'll offer you" game.

Let's play a new game, where you pay ACTUAL attention to my experience level, and then you ask me if I'm available and I say "Yes, and here's what I want to get paid. When can we meet?" My CV speaks for itself. You either want me or you don't. No, I won't take your stupid qualification test. No, I don't want to be put in front of 5 different HR screeners. If you want me, I'll be here waiting for you to schedule a real, bona fide interview with the person who is empowered to make a decision. I've LONG not been some junior-level schmuck you can feed into your filter to figure out whether I'm worth it. Ok?

I’ve never bothered to try Linux as past experiences with it is not as amazing as people say. What advantages does Linux have to Windows? And it terms of real life usage, such as developing software or websites for a local company, why choose Linux over Windows when the majority of the companies users would use Windows anyway?

All I can think is that I should have a computer specifically for Linux so I can still test things on a Windows computer.

So, at my new workplace which completed another anniversary (my first) thought it's a chill place to work at.

Just heard internal bad bitching and stuff, fuck I hate corporate.

And there's this guy who must have watched a few episodes of Naruto and called Nine tails a wolf, a fucking wolf!

Then today during my introduction, the same guy interrupted me with a mock "This guy is a hacker and he can read all your messages"

I was very tempted to say what I used to do at my previous company but energy saving...

Ah.... I already don't like this guy

Maybe I am just a fucking idiot, but I don’t get error handling at all. I’m always torn between what level the error should go, where it should go, and what to even do about it. Why has this burden of choice plagued me?!?

It’s like this question I can never figure out. How to react to certain things appropriately, because who can say that and be 100% correct about their opinion.

I feel like saying "I know C#" (or Java or other similar languages) to mean that you know it as a language as opposed to more of a framework is ridiculous. We should say what programming language level we know (high, mid, low...) since the difference between say C# and Java is pretty much the same as the difference between say WinForms and WPF. Depending on which two languages and which two frameworks you choose it can be a much bigger difference between the frameworks than the languages.
In a CV I'd like to say "I know x-level languages with experience in [actual programming language + frameworks]" instead of saying I know C# and then recruiters and HR people and such assume I don't know Java at all, but know MVC, WebForms and whatever else even though I might specialise in something else and would take me pretty much the same to get proficient in Java as it would take me to get proficient in that framework or something that's technically C#.
It just makes so much more sense to me. As a dev you're supposed to know the principles, the syntax should be secondary. A pointer is a pointer regardless of it's marked with a * or IntPtr or just a value in a register with no special marking that it's a pointer...
Can we, as devs, come up with something like this?

I want a robot that can do just one thing, just so I can say fuck you to these forms.

Well that, and maybe one other thing but let’s not talk about that😉

You know, like be able to see what cars and signs look like in pictures. Geez, what the hell were you thinking about.

We interviewed some candidates for a dev position some weeks ago and, knowing the environment isn't that challenging (at least for me) I voted against the better curriculums because I know they would be frustrated fast, I said that. But I didn't say it was because it's shit here... Of course.... I really just want the good devs to be better then they can be here.... What do you think?

What bothers me most with the Matrix hack is that so many people say oh look the secure messenger got hacked. From what I can tell it had nothing to do with their software nor their protocol. If you're running your own Homeserver you're totally unaffected.

My conversation with Avalara support (API for taxing):
Me: Hey I'm implementing your API for a client. The requests are going through, I get a valid response back but all goods are taxed with $0. Can you please give me a hint what I might be missing?
Sup: You're using Salesforce Commerce Cloud, requests might be blocked through their firewall
Me: I don't think so, here are some sample requests and responses I just created. The object returned matches the one in your API Doc.
Sup: This isn't a system controlled by us, no support.
Me: So how in the world can it be you don't control your own endpoint?

Seriously, if you don't want to help, next time just say fuck you...

I got a rubber duck that can say what my code is doing wrong! Well, actually it is my brother that just gives me advice on how I can make my code work lol

Colleague from technical department asks if I can make Turkish language available in our software.
I say "Sure, but I need Turkish translations first."
Colleague then asks me if I can implement Russian version as English instead, but using Russian.
"Uhm, what?! I mean ... what?!"

I luv flutter so much. Have been using it to the point wre I can say I'm comfortable with it. Had he hope of doing freelance jobs with it buh what I didn't put in mind is the fact that I'll need a Mac. Most of the freelance flutter jobs have d android and iOS requirement n I don't have any kind of access to a Mac to test the application 4 now. Really need a mac😑 or a way out cuz I do luv my PC tho! ... Yay! My first rant! This feels lyk therapy😂

Hey, a bit of a dumb question.

When can someone call themselves a "real" programmer? I'm not one to gatekeep and say dumb shit like "iF yOu OnLy KnOw PyThOn Ur NoT a PrOgRaMmEr!", but I guess I want to know when I can call myself one. All I've done so far is make unpolished games in Unity for school that are created only to meet some requirements. I've also worked in my class' team for collaborative Unreal games, which has been painful to say the least. So, when I can stop gatekeeping myself over it? What sorts of experiences should I have? I understand that it's not a list of requirements like my projects are, but I'd like a general idea of when I can call myself a real developer.