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Morning conversation with wife.
As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter
She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.
Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.
She: that not funny, why do you always do that.
Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.
A little later.....
She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)
I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)21 -
Girl: Can you make me an app?
Me: What kind of app do you have in mind?
Girl: I want it to be... like an app!
Me: Sounds a bit to difficult sorry.10 -
Phone rings, IT guy next to me answer. I didn't listen what the user said.
IT: Hi, what can I do for you?
User: ...
IT: Ok, try with 123456
User: ...
IT: What's the name of the network?
User: ...
IT: Hmm, I don't know that network
User: ...
IT: HOW THE @#$% WOULD I KNOW YOUR HOME WIFI PASSWORD?!!!7 -
*Interview*
Interviewer: We have an opening. Are you interested to work?
Me: What is that I'll be doing?
I: What technologies and languages do you know?
Me: I know Scala, Java, Spark, Angular, Typescript, blah blah. What is your tech stack?
I: Any experience working on frontend?
Me: Yes. But what do you use for it?
I: Can you work with databases?
Me: I can, on SQL based. What are yours?
I: Can you do big data processing?
Me: I know Spark, if that's what you are asking for. What is it that you actually do?
I: Any experience in cloud development?
Me: Yes. AWS? Azure? GCP?
I: Do you know CI CD?
Me: Excuse me.. I've been asking a lot of questions but you're not paying attention to what I'm asking. Can you please answer the questions I asked.
I: Yes. Go ahead.
Me: What will be my position?
I: A full stack developer.
Me: What technologies do you use in your project?
I: We use all the latest tech.
Me: Like?
I: All latest tech.
Me: You mentioned big data processing?
I: Yes. Processing data from DB and generating reports.
Me: what do you use for that?
I: Java.
Me: Are you planning to rebuild it using Spark or something and deploy in the cloud?
I: No we're not rebuilding it. Just some additions to the existing.
Me: Then what's with cloud? Why did you ask for that?
I: Just to know if you're familiar.
Me: So I'll be working with Java. Okay. What do you use for UI?
I: Flash
Me: 🙄
I sat for a couple of minutes contemplating life.
I: Are you willing to join?
Me: No. Not at all. Thankyou for the offer.5 -
I really wish I had known this before. Check this out guys. You can type a unix command and find out what each options mean. Rather than man paging the commands this is a easier way to do it :)
5 -
How can I help you?
"my email isn't working"
What web browser do you use?
"Yahoo"
Err, okay, what's your email address and password?
"I don't have a password."8 -
- - What do you do for living?
- I am a programmer.
- - So you can hack a Facebook account?
- *bleeding inside*9 -
CAN SOMEBODY STOP THE TIME FOR A WHILE!!!
I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME!!!
FML!
PS. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN DEVRANT?4 -
My dad finally lost all hope on me when I took my PC to the repair shop.
"Son, you're studying computer engineering"
"My apologies, papa"
What can I do ☹️ It wasn't booting at all.6 -
From today's PhD interview:
Prof: What can your teammates do that will really annoy you?
Me: Have loud, long, private phone calls in the open space. I don't want to listen to people divorcing.
Prof: And what would you do if your colleague did that?
Me: I'd walk to him....and tell him..."I understand why she is divorcing you!"14 -
Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"
Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"
Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"
Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."
I am so done with that kind of client.8 -
This happened right before lunch.
Me: hey, what languages do you know?
Classmate: i know python that's pretty much it. What abou...
Random fella: ...-yOU cAn TalK SnekK?!?!?!4 -
"What technologies do you know?"
"I can write pretty URLs that return JSON"
"You mean REST?"
"No, I mean pretty URLs that return JSON"3 -
So, I saw this on Reddit, and I thought about sharing it here...
What do you think? It's somewhat accurate, or it can have some changes?
(The Chaotic Good made me chuckle 😂)
23 -
Friend: i need to do a game for my final project, can you help me out?
Me: sure, what language?
Friend: english
Me: ...2 -
I am officially my Manager's own personal google.
"What is the Wifi Password?"
"I can't print this, can you help?"
"How do I switch keyboard layout?"
"How do I turn on the computer?"
"How do I close the door of my office?"
Soon she's going to call me "Ok Google, <stupid question>"10 -
Dad: What are you doing with your life?
Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?
My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.13 -
this.rant == "long";
This is something I feel strongly about, I hope you do too...
I fucking hate it when I hear that people don't care about net neutrality (and I've heard people say it). There is little in this world untouched by shitty corporations encroaching on the little good that is left in this world.
Yes the internet is full of edgy teenagers, incompetent Seniors (both old people and Devs) and god knows what else. But you know what? I pay my money to copy and paste code from SO (we ALL do let's not lie to ourselves) and I'm not paying a special fee to look at this content or that or send this type of text to that kind of person.
Now then to the point... On 14th December 2017 the FCC will vote on whether or not to allow companies like Verizon and - dare I say it - Comcast to charge more to access certain sites or block you access altogether and otherwise control what you say and do.
I for one, say FUCK OFF and I hope you do to. If you can, call or otherwise contact your Congressperson - you can do that here: https://house.gov/representatives/... . If you're not from the US, you can still help! https://www.battleforthenet.com has lots of information on what you can do to help.
I hope you'll all join me in shouting as loud as we can and preventing this moronic idea from going through.
Peace.
this.rant.end();
10 -
Friends brother: So what do you do for work?
Me: I am a DevOps engineer
FB: *blank stare* 😐
Me:I work with computers and fix servers.
FB: Awsome. Well my laptop been acting up lately. Can you..?
Me: NO
Credits: nixcraft -
So I had another seizure last night... (yea not fun), it's been awhile and yesterday's, I have no recollection of what happened.
But today, what do I do? Make sure I can still read and code :)
Honestly, if I forget how to code, not sure what I would do.....
Oh and I just wrote this and somewhat related:
https://medium.com/@allanx2000/...
21 -
Boyz, I don't feel like Windows 10 is collecting enough information from me. What can I do about this? I want to give everything to Microsoft <311
-
"So what do you do?"
"I am a web developer"
"Oh, so can you make me a website"
"Sure, what do you need"
"Well, I think its going to be the next big thing"
(I already know I shouldn't have answered him)
".... Ok, what's it about"
"Its Facebook/Instagram/Whatsapp/Telegram/Slack/Twitter, but better"
If I had a penny for every time I had to listen to this crap just because I told them I was a developer, I won't have a need to continue being one.8 -
Neighbour: What do you do?
Me: I am an Undergrad, pursuing a degree in Computer Science.
Neighbour *Pointing to her Daughter* : I guess she can fix our printer then.
Me: ...3 -
"So, what do you do in life?"
Me : I work on enterprise level mobile, web and server applications. Basically programming and database stuff...
"Sweet! So you can fix my PC right? It's getting slow I don't know why..."
Me : mmm well, ugh... yea kinda, I guess... sure. I could take a look 😑2 -
While I have no idea what to do with it, I discovered that the domain deathtoclients.com was available for purchase.
I'm sure I can come up with something fun to entertain my free time.3 -
Can someone help me? Dont know what to do, im searching on page 5 of Google... I tried everthing and all the same 😢
10 -
Just got a Raspberry Pi3 as a gift and I have no idea what I should do with it. Also I didn't knew about Raspberry Pi3 until now. So maybe someone can help with some ideas. :)22
-
Me: -gets in Uber hoping it will be a quiet ride-
Uber: hey
Me: hey
Uber: So, uh, what do you do?
Me: Oh I'm a software developer.
Uber: Ooohhhh. So you can make the next Uber/Careem if I were to ask you right!?
Me:4 -
Dad: [this company] is coming to town soon.
Me: I know
Dad: yeah maybe you can get a IT job
Me: I dont do IT
Dad: You never know what you do until you do it.
Me: *getting an aneurism from sheer ignorance*
I DO IT EVERY DAY HOW WOULD I NOT KNOW WHAT IM DOING THAT I EVEN WENT TO SCHOOL FOR?17 -
Indian web dev company (during the interview)::
We follow standards
Me:: Hey, can I get the project's github link so that I can fork it, do my tasks, run test cases, push and, make pull request that you can review, run integration test, and finally merge.
Indian web dev company:: What?? Here's the ftp credentials.
Me::
12 -
I'm working on my author website and I really suck at designing. So, can you give me your opinions? I can take honesty, even if it's harsh.
So, ugly or decent? What do you think?
52 -
Recruiter: You cought my attention because of your positive profile. And my client is looking for someone with your profile. Attachment: java_developer.pdf
Me: What exactly did you like about my profile? I can tell by the filename that the company is looking for java developers. Which is neither what I can do nor what I am willing to do.
Recruiter: This isn't clear by your profile, what do you want to do?
Me: Me profile has exactly two programming languages, JavaScript and Objective C.9 -
My girlfriend has no idea what I do at work, but apparently she thinks I'm the best "computer guy" ever when I can plug in a Chromecast to her TV2
-
Why the fuck am I - who never had a girlfriend in his life - the person my friends come to to get relationship advice?
Well, I can tell them what no to do...12 -
After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.
...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."
He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.
Me: "what did I do wrong?"
Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."
Me: "can I expl..."
Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."
Me: "I have..."
Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"
Me: "ok"
Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"
Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."
Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)
Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."
Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."
Me: "But you have spoken"
Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"
That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.
Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"8 -
Our CEO/Boss thought up a new idea for an App
Boss: I got a new idea, i dont know what it is, but its very easy. How long you can do it?
Us: •.•3 -
Hi Fellas !
I'm new here. I have no idea what makes you get so many ++ and what ++ can do for you.
I'm just feeling better here, it feels like im entering my soul's home!
Weekend is near, what project you gonna do ?
Have a great day !40 -
new !Rant();
Found this on Reddit and can relate to code. Show me what you have done and I'll see what I can do for you.
1 -
me : hey tried allo?
her : what is that?
me : it's an amazing new chat app with google built in and you can do blah blah blah.......
*goes on to explain cool stuff*
her: can i send messages to whatsapp from allo?
me : I AM DONE
8 -
Me: Boss, i am not qualified for this. This is something totally different that what i do.
Boss: Just do what you can.
* Me does something which seems to work*
-- A few months or even years later:
Boss: Our distributed systems don't longer work. What happened?
Me, after checking different system: Oh, there is a key that expired. I didn't know this key had an expire date. So they can no longer connect.
Turns out we have to visit every remote system (driving distance of a few 100's km) and set a new key. We couldn't do it remotely since we lost access.
Maybe, just maybe, when your employee says he isn't qualified for a task, listen and search someone that know what he is doing.2 -
Software tester here. Developers what do you think about us honestly? Do you enjoy testers who point out bugs directly or are we a pain in the ass? I feel like developers appreciate my work. I can ask them questions and they are happy I can point out flaws in the app directly. It's also fun to do as a temporary job now.17
-
"Shouldn't be a problem. I can get <insert new feature here> implemented by <insert wildly optimistic time>. "
What is wrong with me?! Why do I keep doing this!?2 -
Typical conversation between my parents and me
Parents: Can you make stuff?
Me: Make what?
Parents: The thing you do all the time.
Me: "Computer stuff"?
Parents. Yah...
Me: Well, yes, why?
Parents: What can you do?
Me: Well, I know C# the most...
Parents: Can you then make software like Facebook, Twitter, etc?
Me: Well, I can, but that will take a lot of time.
Parents: You should really make something and make money.
Me: Ok. (goes into my room, and turns on laptop)
(a few monents later....)
--[[CHORUS START]]--
Parents: U DOIN COMPUTER???
Me: Uh-huh.
Parents: When did I said to do "Computer stuff"?
Me: Well, you said to rest.
Parents: But I never said to do your "Computer stuff"!
Me: But you said to rest. For an hour!
Parents: WHY U SHOUT AT ME!!!! TURN OFF THAT **** NOW!
Me: Ok.... (turns off and opens C# book immediately)
Parents: What's that?
Me: C# book
Parents: What's C#?
Me: Programming language.
Parents: Where can you use it?
Me: Make stuff.
Parents: Like what?
Me: (lists my personal projects)
Parents: Show me.
Me: (turns on the computer and shows one of it)
Parents: Good. (leaves)
--[[CHORUS END]]--
Me: (deep breath) Can I FINALLY use the computer?
--[[CHOURS]]--9 -
So, the other day a friend of mine called me. It's been years that I haven't talked to this girl. She says "can you do me a favour?". I asked "what?". To which she replies "My Facebook account has been hacked. Can you do something and destroy the guys pc? Don't let him create any other account or even let him use the internet. Ban him from the internet or do something.
And I was like
7 -
My first performance review as a graduate:
Boss: "we can't give you the rating you deserve because HR"
Me: "ok whatever, what can I do to get the rating I'm suppose to get?"
B: *lists job description of a senior developer* ... "Interview candidates, mentor juniors, start a project and make me profit"
Me: (if I can do that as a graduate, what am I doing here?)
My last performance review at the same company:
B: "we can't give you the rating you deserve because HR"
M: "ok what can I do to improve?"
B: *lists everything I did before the first performance review that wasn't expected of me*
M: (LoL funny, I just wanted to hear your response because I know you'd forget about the first review. Another reason to validate my resignation) -
Everytime 🙄
Client: it's not working.
Me: what isn't
Client: the app video and link thing locator
Me: device and spec ? Like I always need
Client:iPhone
Me: yes. What one and what version of iOS
Client: urm 6s iOS 10 something
Me: great 😏 not broken for me
Client: well everyone is complaining so we need it fixed.
What can i even do now 😐7 -
Friend: Hey, so what do you do?
Me: I build backend systems and apis. I work with java/mongodb. I dable into some elixir and kotlin on my free time.
Friend: Cool, can you build me an Android app?11 -
It's truly amazing how much a single line of perl can do. Such a time saver.
I only wish that I could understand what it does two days later.1 -
No, it's not damaged. Yes, it most definitely can be opened. No, I should not move it to the trash, because I want to open it.
Quit your bullshit Apple and stop telling me what I should do.
5 -
Duuude!? What the fuck?!
First weekend off so I can slack around & now this?! O.o
I don't know what I expected.. I didn't evem do anything to it (yet)..
6 -
As a person who spends 99.99% of his time at home if not at school programming, reading, and watching netflix, what can I do to develop my social skills?36
-
Feeling very sleepy.
Me: Just one more feature and am off to bed.
Completes feature using 2x normal time.
Me: I just did a feature whiles feeling sleepy, I can do it again.
Can't think, can't type. But won't stop.
Wake up next day. What the f*** did I do here ?
I don't exist anymore.
💤💤💤4 -
Team during retro: management is full of shit, what can we do about it?
Me, already during notice period: I have some ideas1 -
Just won a Raspberry Pi + touch screen in an Arduino robot competition. What can I do with this little beauty?9
-
Customer: Do you have a 2GB RAM stick?
Me: Yes, we do. Do you know what you have and what you need?
Customer: Yes, I have a one-zero-two-four M-B stick and a two-zero-four-eight M-B stick.
Me: So... a 10-24 Meg stick and a 20-48 Meg stick
Customer: Yes.
Me: Ok.... and do you know if it's going to be DDR2 or...?
Customer: Yes, DDR2.
Me: Okay, yes, we do have some. And will you want us to install it?
Customer: No. I can install it. I've been putting computers together for 30 years, so I think I can do it.3 -
*Boots PC to enjoy overwatch*
I wanted to see what was new with Cortana for some reason
*Asks Cortana what I can say*
One of the options shows an example
"Turn on High Contrast"
*Clicks the mic/listen button*
"Turn on High contrast"
Cortana responds
"Sorry I can't do that yet"
Wow, I just love voice assistants. Thanks Microsoft!6 -
What do you need a boss if you can find the idea, analyze it, design the product, code it, test it, setup the cloud and even do the marketing.
Dear bosses,
I am a developer not a God!3 -
The great thing about coding is, every problem can be solved with logic. And the simplest solution is often the best one.
Often when I don't know what to do, I just keep thinking about what I want to have and break down what I need for that and in the end I always come to a good solution. And it gets easier from time to time. -
Can i train myself to think like a computer?
Means I wont to the best thing i can do in each second without even thinking ! Just like what a computer does13 -
What a lazy fuck.
This so called full-stack developer doesn't know how to use mysql from command line. The only way he can do anything in the database is using phpMyAdmin or MySQL gui.
What? How do you even call yourself a developer when you don't know how to use basic command line tools?
The fucker wants me to find out why a particular feature is not working?
Why the fuck are you being paid for? You stupid idiot.
"Can you please grep ... in the server?"
What? Why would I do that for you? How about you ssh the server yourself?
What a waste of time.5 -
Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)7 -
Just got AWS free subscription, had fun for 30 mins. Now I don't know what to do with it. Can someone give me idea for something to do with it.17
-
Got some requests about changes in design some weeks ago. Did the most of what I can do, but something wasn't possible, so I told them that I cannot do what was requested.
They still ask me to do it.
5 -
My friend told everyone in my school class that i programm...
And now they are asking, can you do this and that and what for specifications should my PC have to run this game...
help5 -
Look, nano, I love you more than you could imagine but the fact that you make these shortcuts do what they do can fuck off...
CTRL+C = cursor position
CTRL+X = exit nano
CTRL+V = next page
I meant... *Sigh*... I don't fucking know anymore man...25 -
That moment when the entire office is Apple fanboys and you are the only windows supporter.
What can I do? First love is first love.19 -
I have a dual booted laptop with Windows and Ubuntu, I can not for the live of me choose which one to use all the time. They each have their benefits! What do you think?29
-
Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
I feel like I've ranted this before. many times. but here we go again because Australia.
why do people think you can just ban math? like really?! that's what crypto laws do. they require companies to use shitty math. and what prevents me from using the good math? nothing! oh I mean... I won't use it? scouts honor.
you can't ban math.
literally billions of internet users don't fall in your jurisdiction.
no single jurisdiction can cover more than a subset of the internet.
I will use whatever maths I damn well please.
fuck off. please stop making us less safe.
/discussion5 -
I mean i understand the whole "linux is do what you want" thing but shouldnt i get at least a warning before i can purge a package the whole system depends on?3
-
Me, programmer(not employed yet): you know what is crazy about coding test? I can easily do manually what test said, but teaching it to computer is surprisingly hard.
My brother, teacher(not graduated yet): I can easily solve middle school problems too, but teaching to kids is hard part. It seems like we do similar thing.2 -
Old team that screwed me over now comes back being all nice to ask me for help...
Me: **fake smile** Hi... (what can I do for you monkeys)
Then proceeds to do a Google search and gives them a link... idiots....3 -
What I say: I'm a computer science major.
What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.
What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.1 -
I'm 30 years old, sometimes I feel old to study computer/web programming.
What do you think? If it's not true, what can I do to change the way I think about it?28 -
what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/
damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building1 -
The philisophy I am following for building my new PC isn't "What can I do with this kind of hardware", it's "what CAN'T I do with this kind of hardware"
I stop shopping when my answer is "Nothing"2 -
I can do HTML, responsive CSS with JS but there is one damned thing blocks me all the time. What color?
How you guys choose your color on a webpage?14 -
>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n
en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}
“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”
Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!
Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.2 -
In one of my teams there was this non-IT girl.
One morning, she asks out loud:
G - Can I run a Json?
Me - Wait! What are you trying to do?
G - I need to deploy my changes into the Dev server.
Suddently I realized what she meant.
Me- It's Jenkins! Not Json. :D1 -
Parents: You want anything for your birthday?
Me: yeah, can I have a newer PC
Parents: Cool
Me: Also, can I spend a majority of my time alone messing with it?
Parents: Sure
My parents were really laid back and basically let me do what I wanted1 -
Fucking asshats, don't understand difference between people who do what..
Fucking asshat wants me to edit this image to his preference, I'd happily do it if I knew it how to...but noooooo he wants to convince me that I can do it without even knowing what or how to do...
That's like asking a plumber to fix my car...
5 -
I have so much free time! My plans all weekend have been cancelled, so I can just code all night and all day!
.... So what do I write? .....
Netflix it is then? *Sigh*1 -
Any tips for a Dev who never contributed to an open source project before? What sorts of mistakes do first time contributors normally make? Most importantly what can I do to not annoy* fellow contributors?2
-
I'm told that a worker can't clock into work on his phone because he does something different from his fellow employees. So I go to him to ask hey what do you need in order to clock in.
"Oh well I do something different from everyone"
Yeah I know I'm trying to get it so you can clock in on the phone as well what do you clock into.
"Well the other guys can clock into things on the phone you should ask them if you want to know how to clock into on the phone. I do different jobs then them"
Yes I know, what do you different so I can add it to the phone clock in app?
"What I do isn't on the phone you can't clock into it on there you have to clock into it here."
Would it be unprofessional to strangle him?3 -
her: * watching me 👀 *
guy 1: "what else do you do asides coding..?
her: * scoffs *
me: "lol, I do other things"
guy 2: * laughs hysterically 😂😂 *
me: "whattt..?? I do video editing and I write as well 🫤"
her: * 🙄 *
What's it with you guyssss??? 😂😫🤲🏻...I have other interests asides coding; you just have to be close to me to find out. I even make music and play the piano 🌝.....
Y'all dream a lot and you know it's your dreams I code 😪 {if you can dream it 💡, I can code it 💻
9 -
What really gets on my nerves?
People that think I can fix every computer problem there is, just because I'm a developer and therefore must know everything about PCs.
What do I look like, a Tech Wizard?16 -
One Join is fine.
Two Joins I can live with.
Three Joins and we are starting the project from scratch again.
Fuck you! What do I pay you for? Eating berries? No!12 -
What benefits do Linux OSs give that many developers use it? Don't get me wrong, I like the distros out there. I've used some of them. Other than the server related stuff, what benefits does it have for devs?
I can think of the terminal as one.18 -
Co-Worker: How can I see what's linked to x variable in the database for this website? [we can't see the actual back end]
Me: Do a var dump...
Co-Worker: but what var do I dump? -
"Hey Bobby, can you do XYZ for me? I can do it myself but it's such a pain in the ass"
So why the fuck would I do it if you can do it yourself? Guess what it's a pain in the ass for me too! And it's not even my problem!2 -
What a cool question... um
My super power would be to intuitively read assembly. I could also focus it into laser eyes. A super power can do other things. Tell me why it shouldn't. -
"customers don't know what they want until we've shown them"
Is it just me that feels this a lot? I build a lot of tools for my own use at work, and then suddenly everyone wants it after seeing what they can do...7 -
What a day. Teacher told if I can fix few school PCs. Well, quarantined few hundreds of malware and installed Gnu/Linux on one PC just for testing. Only thing left to do is make AutoCAD somehow work and I hope the school can switch from Windows XP to GNU/Linux.3
-
Having to fill skills field in my internship CV suddenly makes me realize that i actually am not really good at anything.
Some friends say that i'm a can-do-it-all person when i actually just learn how to do what i need to do on the spot.3 -
"Can we do X?"
Yes, we can do almost anything you want.
"Can we have it ready by last month?"
No.
"What about 2 weeks ago?"
Not feasible.
"Yesterday?"
Sorry I don't think we can.
For real though, how do you deal with unrealistic delivery expectations? I'm not sure if I'm supposed to keep saying no to everything, or if they keep asking in hopes that maybe this time it'll be ok.2 -
!rant
At what point do you know if you're good enough to be a Junior Developper inside a company ?
What are the things you must know and be able to do?
I'm in It for now but my company has multiple Dev teams and I'd like to join them eventually, I know I can Google for that but I'd like real answers not blog bullshit6 -
I see more and more people encouraging people to learn Haskell. But why ? What can you do with it, that you would not do with another language? what have you done with haskell?7
-
I can barely code properly while sober. Why would I introduce drunkenness into that equation? If drinking impairs driving heavy machinery, by what logic would it do anything to improve writing code?4
-
I have found a website that allows HTML in comments. They blocked <script>, but not <iframe>. I can just load a script from my personal website using it. What should i do?
(something innocent)7 -
It finally came! Super excited.
Yes it takes amazing pictures even in the dark and the radar is super cool. Can't wait to dig into what I can do with the radar.
13 -
Holy shit what a Monday of a Monday! I ain’t trying to stay late I got other shit to do! If new and unusual errors can wait til tomorrow to pop up that’d be greaaaaaaattttt!
-
Since I already achieved my dream of being employed as a mobile app dev, I'm into creating music now to prove myself I can achieve something with this too. But you know, I'm kinda lost what to do. Like how I was when I started programming 😂
Maybe one day I can combine both skills into something interesting.9 -
-Question-
I am starting a web development company, my biggest fear is how can i find clients.
Does any of you guys has experience or any ideas of what i can do right or wrong?5 -
After updating to macOS Catalina, I can no longer use photoshop CS6.
and the newer versions require login with a licensed account.......
What to do...5 -
My school is yet to decide what form of online schooling we'll use, but I've prepared in case it'll be live video conferences. ( I can freeze my webcam and I fixed my BT headphones, so I can do stuff during classes and reply from anywhere in the house in case I'm posed a question. )1
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Never be a perfectionist. I am one and it kills me inside. 99% of the time I am not happy with what I did because I know I can do better. Especially on exams. Not because of the grade but because I am not on par with what I know I can do. Its pissing me of so fucking much. Fucking bullshit. Why do I suck so fuckibg much ffs. For real: you should never become a perfectionist because I see what it does to me4
-
As a first year CSE student
And an intermediate in web development technologies(PHP ,NODE.js, Frontend) and java. But no good contacts. How can I earn a bit so as to add up to my pocket money?
I mean what ar possibilities and how can i do that?3 -
I think this might be a record...
My sister asks me what's this, I come over, she shows me a random website she found and starts asking me what she can do on that website...
Fucking kill me now...1 -
What do my family think I do as a Dev?
The most stereotypical thing you can think of, they think I sit on my ass all day procrastinating.
Obviously they're wrong.... I do some work now and then.... only now and then... -
Some people just don't get it. When you meet friends who are either non technical or very new to programming, all they ask you is what language do you use.
The language is important but not everything. It's what you do with it that matters. Just because you know python, doesn't mean that you can do machine learning. Even simply asking what do I do is better than that!
The language is just a tool! Learn to be language agnostic please. Be a programmer, not a code monkey2 -
Loosing 4h of work because bsod, because I asked substance painter to do something way above what my computer can handle... And saving take ages with big projects so I kind of forgot.. FUCK I'm an idiot T_T.3
-
My dad bought a 4k RokuTV and I set it up. We just spent the night using YouTube as the Travel Channel.
What else can I do that I can't do on PC/normal TV?2 -
I just hate it when a classmate just waits for you to do the work first so that they can copy it.
This recent project we had was a pretty good example. Most of them didn't know what to do while I on the other hand actually READ the documents for the technology we were using so it gave me sort of a head start. They eventually asked me to do one part of their work first so that they can copy off of what I did and I mean EVERYTHING. A pure copy paste of my code while only changing the variable names. Genius1 -
Me: yeah I am a full stack node.js web developer
Client: so can u do javaFx
Me: that's not really what ur hiring me for :/1 -
I'm worried about me, and my future carrier path...
I don't know in what direction should I walk, to become the best as I can
And I'm going to be as best as I can...but Google Maps doesn't just show the direction, it gets lost as me...eh...
Yesterday, I've told to dev genie just 2 wishes, but as my third wish, I'd like to know in what direction should I walk, which roads should I avoid, what shall I do.4 -
My mom doesn't know what I do for a living. All she can confidently do is tell her friends is "My son works with computers".2
-
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
I am a learn it all, do what you can kind of guy. I work alone so Fullstack I guess, hate UI though, god saves boostrap.
-
I only finished my CS degree last year but while I was a student and after I got my degree I went for a few interviews and none of the companies really asked me what degree I have or didn't ask at all, some just asked what I was studying. All of the companies asked what I can do and what my skills are. If I can do it, they were happy to hire me even if I didn't have a degree.
So to answer the question, a degree is not useful if you still don't know how to program (for example) or if you don't know your field well. If you are good at what you do, you will earn crazy money with or without a degree.
I know a few people that don't have a CS degree but their programming skills are crazy good...probably much better than a uni graduate with a CS degree.3 -
I just wish I could make my living by doing stuff that I love and not by doing stuff that other people have to do to make a living so they can do what they love.2
-
Got the newest update for Emojis and I was scrolling through them, and what do you know? This one popped up. All I can think of was "Devrant did it first"
3 -
What ever i do, i can 't get to bed early. Damn bugs keep me awake at night. Any tips on how to let go of work in the evening?5
-
Short question: what makes python the divine language for ML and AI. I mean i picked up the syntax what can it do that c++ or java cant? I just dont get it.19
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Been a really long time since I posted on here. Sucks when you get stuck in a lab that bans cellphones.
BUT I got a new job now. No classified stuff. I can actually talk about what I do specifically now!!! And after a week I can almost maybe do my job one day.7 -
Team lead: guys, we need to brainstorm on feature X. We can have this service do blah blah..., have a cache at blah blah...
Me: I think it's too complicated. We can simplify the design by doing blah blah... and measure the performance as we go, let's not do premature optimization.
Team lead: no, we definitely need this. We'll pitch this to the CTO later
*Later when we meet the CTO*
Team lead: Hi Mr CTO, about feature X, we're gonna do this blah blah... what do you think?
CTO: *basically repeats what I said*
Team lead: Thank you for the insights, really helpful. We will do as you suggest.
WHAT THE FUCK?3 -
What is the social networking programmers use to communicate.
Hey guys.
So what program do you guys use to communicate? Something that I can drop here and not behing spammed. Time to start creating my own network arround you guys... You know, smart people.11 -
What bothers me most with the Matrix hack is that so many people say oh look the secure messenger got hacked. From what I can tell it had nothing to do with their software nor their protocol. If you're running your own Homeserver you're totally unaffected.1
-
It sucks big time when you've put in days and nights on a particular project and later face flak for not delivering it on time. What can I do that it took time 🤷🏾♂️
I did not purposely intend to lose business hours, I only want to do my work properly with the full (or atleast some) knowledge of what I'm doing !
Guess I just had a Bad day 😅9 -
I want a robot that can do just one thing, just so I can say fuck you to these forms.
Well that, and maybe one other thing but let’s not talk about that😉
You know, like be able to see what cars and signs look like in pictures. Geez, what the hell were you thinking about.
4 -
I know some C++. What should I really learn next Python or Java?
I want to be able to make a meaningful project as soon as possible.(with Java as I can see I have SpigotPlugins, and with Python I have Telegram Bots).
Sorry for asking for advice here but idk what to do.26 -
Maybe I am just a fucking idiot, but I don’t get error handling at all. I’m always torn between what level the error should go, where it should go, and what to even do about it. Why has this burden of choice plagued me?!?
It’s like this question I can never figure out. How to react to certain things appropriately, because who can say that and be 100% correct about their opinion.3 -
Mine actually don't know shit about what I do but they don't try to describe it either. One day I told my father that as a personal project I was making a little script to fetch song lyrics and assign them to the music files I have in my library. Well he was all surprised like "Wow, and you can do that sort of thing?". Well, yeah, what do you think I've been studying during all those years? 😁
-
I don't want to start any wars in the comments, but what do you devs prefer: iOS or Android?
I'm not saying one is better. I'm just genuinely curious what other devs use. I prefer to use Android because I can do more with my phone.
I'm actually curious what most of you use, so feel free to tag other ranters you know in the comments. I've already commented the few I could come up with off the top of my head.16 -
In this project we're working on, there are so many abbreviations for so many things.
+ "Hey, can you help me test XXX through YYY API?"
- "Sure. But may i ask, what do XXX and YYY actually stand for?"
+ "Well, no one knows"
So people can work on something for months without really knowing the name of what they're working on. Good to know.4 -
For some reason, my roommate thinks Facebook can track his and all our calls.
I don't know the beginning or the end of what they can/can't do, but that just has to be BS... right?14 -
I need help with learning .NET (C#) i need a project that is easy and that I can learn from. What did you guys do to learn .NET8
-
How can I interview new developers like a boss. E.g. Give them a PSD and tell them to do the layout etc. What you guys recommend?3
-
There are lots of Angular and React jobs here in my area. Very few Vue jobs here (like 1 to 5 maximum job posts I have seen). I'm a PHP dev and it seems most companies are shifting to full stack JS development (MERN, MEAN, NodeJS + Express JS, etc.) along with some mobile development (ionic, cordova, etc)
I have no choice but to study both Angular and React. Supply and demand.
But between Angular and React, I prefer Angular.
6 -
!rant I need a TL:DR for custom ROMS, I already know what they are, what they do, I need to know how useful they are and where I can start!
Thanks!8 -
I think that the idea of IIFE in JavaScript is a good example of how shitcoding can be built into the core of the language.
How can I make my code clean if the language itself forces me to make such an ugly constructions?
What do you guys think about it?3 -
Is c a good language to learn. Or c++ or C#. What projects can you do with the languages i mentioned.9
-
I was asked to introduce some interns to software development and what it is about.
They are not IT interns, so I am wondering how can I explain what I do to them?
Any suggestions?18 -
Seriously! My wife is a fucking NFA!
She can be in several states at the same time.
She knows what I'm thinking before I do.
She sometimes get stuck and then immediately returns to an accepting state.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!2 -
Professor: with rm -r /* you can delete everything on your pc
Me: ou boii lets try it can't be so bad🤪
Prof: pls never try this, when i say everything i mean everything
Me: ou frick what did i do 😱
Note for me: Next time do a backup4 -
Why Google? Why?! Why do you always asume my language and what the fuck do you really think I can only speak one language? Fucking prick Google.1
-
Having a hard time finding work. Jack of all trades, master of none. Went to college for a while, but never finished a degree. Mostly self taught and can easily learn on the fly.
Can program, 3d design and model, ins and outs of unreal engine 4, web stuff, can do IT work, knows VR standards and tricks, powerful desktop and powerful laptop, plenty of uhd cameras, knows Android and ios, etc.
Where do I look? What can I apply for? Can I make money on my own? Can I provide a service? How do I sell that?
HALP 😫8 -
"hey, can you help me doing this on the phone?"
"hey, do you know what,'s wrong with my computer "
And so on...
I am no tech support.
First world problems, I know 😑 -
What if all devs worked together to create a programmed God which only obeys devs? And hates bosses....
I think we can do it guys!
Ps. Bagsie not dealing with merge conflicts.10 -
i am not a SQL expert, but i can do what i need to do in order to be considered a full stack dev
the syntax i have to learn was deprecated before i was even born -
How can someone like everyone at their workplace yet somehow hate what they do so much?
I need to get out of this fucking city. I need to leave this fucking useless pointless css with a sprinkle of php job.
I just feel do frustrated.2 -
Opinions on npm inquirer. I can never decide, in some ways its super convenient. But sometimes debugging the weirdness pissed me off. I think it's pretty good for what it is, but something a lot better has got to be out there. What do you all think?
-
What do you do when you are hungry/peckish and it's late?
It's 🌃 time and I don't have anything to eat (except maybe some stupid cookies)
I wish I could do
'npm i snacks'
or
'sudo apt-get snacks'
And I would receive snacks from my computer or something..
npm might also give some extra snacks plus ingredients as dependencies 😅
Maybe I can make coffee..☕?2 -
Hey Guys. I need to do a Project in School. Ist can last about 3-5 Months but I have no fking idea what to do.. You Guys have some good ideas? Best would be in Web Technologiea5
-
can we agree that T is a dumb variable name?
I mean I totally know what it means in that instance, but why do people keep writing math stuff like they'd skribble it on paper?8 -
"what are you working on right now?"
I think that question is the one I hate the most.
If A asks that to B, it means A has the authority to do so, you're basically a boss or leader.
But it also reveals insane incompetence, because A has such role, then should already know what B is working on.
I have fantasies of just exploding with a "NOTHING, NOTHIIIIIING!!!! Because you didn't assign me anything"
What the fuck do they want me to do? Go around jerking off to any documentation I can find on google?
Should I just come up with things so that they can be sadly discarded?
I would much rather have dailies, and get guided like "you can do this or that" I feel like I'm just expected to do shit without any actual regqrd for results. As if I was some dog who was thrown a stick to fetch.
But if I don't fetch the stick I get asked like "you should be doing something". I fucking hate it .2 -
I'm a beginner Web developer and want to show people what I can do? but is it bad that I'm using a template for my site?5
-
What do you think I code for? So I can drive a f@#$ing Rav4?
- paraphrased from a Kanye West rhyme.2 -
so guys, I am going to ask you about something I am totally new on it.
what do you think about crypto currency mining? cam I do it using just my PC, if I can what is the estimate benefits?
do you advice me to proceed with this thing.15 -
OH, OKAY! that's what I should have do like 4 hours ago. Well, today I learned more of what can `replace` do in Golang modules.
2 -
How much minutiae about CSS do I need to know for hiring purposes?
Should I focus on grid or flex?
Should I focus on mediaquerys before css grid?
What are some things I can safely ignore while studying frontend?6 -
Sooo I was wondering what you guys listen to while coding?
I mostly listen to instrumentals, feel like anything that has words can sometimes be distracting.
Was thinking of listening to audio books though lol. don't know how it'll go XD.
What do you think?31 -
I like to compare OSses to playgrounds
OS x: a grass field with a fence with a watcher that keeps you from doing something possibly dangerous(/fun) . It's safe but not a lot you can do
Windows: a grass field with a fence, you can climb the fence if you want and do dangerous things if you aren't carefull. less safe but you can do more
Linux: a terrain of your choosing, you can do whatever you want, but it can quickly become dangerous if you don't know what your doing.6 -
I was wondering what do you guys think about companies which dictates which ide devs have to use.
In my opinion every dev should use what he or she can utilize best no matter if a free or paid license is required for the ide.10 -
Question: what do you think of Flutter? Ever tried it? It sounds good so far, although it has limmited support (as far as I can tell)3
-
What music do you prefer while writing / reviewing codes, that is, when you do not need immense concentration and can afford to listen to music?
I generally open a playlist of any band I like on youtube.6 -
hey does anyone here have a idea what website i could build?
i know html/css, js, node.js and looked into express lately and would like to build something bigger but i have absolutly no idea what i can do ^^10 -
I don't know but, I want to buy a Raspberry Pi. I quite good at programming and want to learn a few hardware tricks.
Not expecting much from it but I guess I can program (play) with it.
What can I do with a raspberry pi that I can't do with my laptop already??9 -
It's about valentine's day again. any idea what a single programmer like me can do?.
last year I made a chatbot app to wish me valentine's day 😂7 -
I'm not a fan of X display managers. I prefer to have my machine boot directly to the virtual console, and if I want to run X, I can start it with startx. Does anyone else do that? If so, what do you put in your .xinitrc?4
-
From the window by my desk I can see helicopters, jet planes and the occasional bird attacking people.
What do you see out your window by your desk?8 -
Alright my fellow devs and other tech related/adjacent people, we can easily glean from your rants and profiles what you do while developing. But I want to get to know the person behind the screen. After all we aren't our jobs.
So, outside of software development and related activities, what do you do in your spare time?7 -
Please how realistically, can you make $5k with programming skills per month?
What web application can a programmer build or ways can I do this ?
#SaveASoul21 -
So. I began college this year. I will be majoring in Computer Science. There first thing as a new student I did was signed up for the Computer Science Club and excited for the new adventure I asked, "What are we going to do?
President: "Nothing. We don't have any programmers or budget. But you can do whatever you want."
I don't know what I felt: maybe lost? a little dead inside?
What a disappointment.
6 -
Holy shit I don't understand Rust's module system. Package I have not a single clue what it is... It "can contain one library crate and multiple binary crates". What? Okay so a crate is a collection of modules. Great, now how do you define modules? `mod whatever {}` probably. Then what the hell does `mod whatever;` do?? Import a module from a file with the same name (ignoring the fact that modules and files don't seem to have anything to do with each other). But why `mod` to import? How does that differ from `use`-ing a module? What is any of this??3
-
So, I need to figure out what ir protocol a controller board uses. I know how to do it with a remote, but how would I do it with the board? Can I reverse engineer the ir reciver to find it's protocol?10
-
Started writing down what i wana do and what comes to mind. Everything that bigs me about my system and so on and make tasks out of the things to complete the days following.
Since i did that i feel less stressed and i can focus more on the stuff since my phone reminds me of thiee tasks all the time so i dont get weird ideas.
What does everyone else do to keep them on track? -
I get this pain in my shoulder after a few hours of coding. It can last for weeks if I don't stay away from the computer. What do you guys do to prevent shoulder and neck pain?4
-
Need help in Unit Tests,
I've reached a point where tests randomly fail, but if I run that test alone it never failed.
I do have lots of shared data between test functions of the same test class.
What options do I have?
1. Make each function responsible of seeding data into InMemory database?
2. ??? (I don't know what else I can do)
Any help is great :)18 -
Hmm... Geekiest non-dev thing I do regularly is watch Mark Rober, Smarter Every Day, and Colin Furze videos. They can definitely be entertaining, but I do love seeing what they work on/research.
Don't really have desire to, for instance, build something with Raspberry Pi. But that's just me. 🤷1 -
Hey devRanter's, a have a month to figure out what should I do on bachelor thesis and nothing comes into my head 😕 maybe someone can hit me up with an interesting idea? 🤔18
-
Do you ever come to a solution but forget what the original problem you were solving for was?
I just tried to do a large number multiplication in my head but now forgot what I needed it for...
And after plugging the solution into Google and what I can recall... Seems the answer is wrong as it's indivisible by one of the terms that was involved in the multiplication...2 -
I am a beginner here .. may some one help me to know what I can do with the app? I would really appreciate it 💓🍃🙈13
-
How can I get started in open source? I tried forking a repository and do a bug fix, but their code base was ugly as hell and makes me unsure about what open source projects to contribute to.6
-
Do you remember the question: How can I get the Counter Strike game in a Floppy disk? and.. what is done there they copied the shortcut into the floppy Lol2
-
@linuxxx When my PC get asleep throught Linux Manjaro upgrade is it too bad? I am now in emergency shell? What can I do?9
-
!rant
I need to become motivated to learn Python but I already know C#, Java, and JS. What can Python do they these can't?
Any suggestions for a project I could do to pick it up and shows the outer of Python?10 -
Is it good to be a Linux Administrator, what are good and bad aspect of it and what is future scope so that i can answer myself where do i see myself in 5 years 😂
Currently working at GoDaddy as Hosting tech lead..6 -
Can anyone suggest what should a 16 year old python programmer from India should do. I think ml and deep learning or hot right now so I am learning those. Any suggestions, thanx in advanced 😊4
-
No one was really surprised.
They mostly told me all my life that's what I should do because I always liked video games and was on the computer a lot.
I mean, I can see how it might have helped a bit, but it doesn't really have that much to do with it.1 -
Can anyone help me in jquery?
I'm doing a loop of trigger which are 13 in count, but every trigger event contains ajax call and what my problem is that it doesn't wait for ajax response and keep hitting trigger until last trigger fires.
so I'm having my ajax response only on last one.
What can I do for this?9 -
Just patching shit from other unknown Junior dev is depressing ... Its like i can do operations but i kill 80% of my patients do you want a try ? If you dont know what you doing please just take time to get a small formation at least thx2
-
I'm tired of listening to interns suffering in bad positions and being unable to change things. All I can do is listen and empathize.
I just want people to enjoy working here, but there's a bad vibe tide coming. I don't know what I can do to help.4 -
Hello, i have this problem. Can u read the image and figure out what this corps deal is, and what to do about it. They shut down my account because i use vpn, and they wont turn it back on. I need this service to do my job. My managers are going to be mad.
9 -
They don't really know what I do, I guess. They listen to me with patience when I explain them something about what I'm doing, they forget what I said and then tells friends, coworkers and costumers that I'm a computer engineer. And also I can install Linux on a computer.
-
Le Angular programmer
Me: I need to add all these fields across this 30 page (seriously) questionnaire to the dataLayer for Google Analytics...I'll see if I can loop over all the controls and get the native element so that I can do things with it.
Also me: WTF do you mean I don't have access to the native element? Damn it! What does Google say?
**terrible french accent**
A few moments later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: I don't want to have to create a directive to put on every single one of these fields. That's dumb. Not gonna do it...bad vanilla JavaScript?
**terrible french accent**
Several minutes later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: Wait...if we use this directive then the directive can handle all the things AND we can use it outside of this questionnaire. The rest of the app can send this data so that Google Analytics can know all the things
Man Google..You sure do know what I want before I know what I want...Are you spying on me too?1 -
What do I need to know to transition from a frontend developer, to a full stack developer?
Right now I am using AngularJS (I know, very old) at my work and we are transitioning to either React or Angular. My goal is to pickup back end tasks so I can eventually become a full-stack developer. What do I need to do to get there?4 -
What keyboards do you use?
Well atm i use a cheap mechanic keyboard which i got since my last one died. I can afford a new one and looking for options. I prefer tenkeyless keyboards. What do you use? Mechanic? Slim? Anyone uses mac keyboard with linux? Any suggestions would be very helpful.5 -
Got started with docker and installed a Ubuntu container.
Next I installed vim to know what you can do with this. But here I am looking at a blank window.
What have I done ?3 -
what if for some magical way you can switch places with the client... on the things I will do to him...
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A device that makes women understand that we cannot focus on them all the fucking time, therefore, making them understand that if we can't does not mean we don't care...3
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I honestly cant get passionate about learning. I need a project I can be passionate about but idk what to do :/
Any suggestions? (Language: python)2 -
I have published my app, it is stable and functional. Design is simple but not ugly. I do not have much downloads. What can I do to make users to try it?4
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I ordered a USB Rubber Ducky!! I'm not going to do anything malicious with it, I just want to experiment with it and see what it can do for me!
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I need a place where i can put fck in some moments. I dont really want to scream it out. What do you guys do in these situations?6
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So, somehow I got hands on a Google glass [yep that item which had it's hype go down]. Been wondering what I can do with it. Any ideas about what to do, what to develop for it, anything?5
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What does a software tester do between releases?
I mean, it can take weeks before another release comes up. What do they work with between releases?7 -
Ubuntu is causing problems like lock administrator etc on lan connection. Can anybody suggest what to do or should i change the distro?😑😑😑😑3
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The whole time I've been in school they have been telling me I need an amazing portfolio, LinkedIn and GitHub. From what I keep seeing and can tell... is this all a lie?? What do I actually need to get hired?12
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Just installed Cent OS 7 on my HP 380 g6 server, can someone please explain why hp withholds bios updates unless you pay extra... Where do I even get a support licence for this old thing. DoD normally handle's these things.
Also what do you do with a server at home. I found some AI assistant software to run and of course VM's but what else.5 -
Had a freelance client half a year ago, they called to do some edits and adding features yesterday. But i dont work im web development any more and no longer feel like doing it. What should I do. Can i just bail or do i give the their money back or whats the best course of action here?5
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Do you think is it worth buying macbook air or some other laptop for the same price? I know I can get better specs for that money but I dont game or do a lot of video editing so I Don't need a beast graphic card, I just need it for coding. What do you think?6
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I got relegated to updating an old project. It takes just 35 lines to do what we can write as a single liner in the new one.2
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So I'm relatively new to Python. I've started doing the practicepython.org challenges. What do you guys think to my code layout, is there any way I can improve.
https://github.com/Rotho98/...5 -
I have a class on my college on which we can choose what to do as a final project the only requisite being that we need to do something we haven't covered in any class at the degree.
I want to be a Gameplay programmer and saw that many offers ask for Lua, then I think this is an opportunity to do something in Lua and learn the basics but I don't know what to do, any ideas of a simple project I can do in Lua or a framework that uses Lua that can teach me the basics of it?
Tl;Dr: Want to do a small project in Lua, have no idea what to do tho. Ideas?4 -
I know that you need to stop to not burn out but I have a lot of work until July 1th and I have been working like crazy since September. What can I do to not get mad before our hard deadline? 😖6
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I get a paper and a pen and write down what I know I have to do, what I don't know how to do it and I suspect I don't know yet what I'll have to do.
For the parts I know I'll have to work using a new framework or new tools I try to create a proof of concept project I can reuse later.
I tend to write a bit in paper before coding just to wrap up my head on what I'll have to do. -
I want to expand my skills in swift, and want to build a project to do so. Any ideas/challenges for what I can build?1
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First of all, I need you to forgive me for what I'm doing to do...
So, for webdev, Ruby or Python?
Opinions, thoughts, tips, are all welcome.
- I know these kind of choose A or B questions make me a horrible person, but what can I do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -5 -
I have a headache and I have to write a fix in production in less than 2 hours. What can I do? does chocolate help? I will get chocolate3
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Guys, i really need to Specialise in Software engineering, for now i can complete a desktop app with java language and mysql or sql server , what i need to learn or what should i do in general ??5
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vscode because it is a looker and does what i want it to do and don't have time to fiddle with others, n++ portable where i can not install something.
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"Sorry, I heard you're good with maths can you just derive that equation for me real quick?"
90% of what we do is maths why are you here?2 -
I've a virtual hackathon based on superhero theme, but I don't have any idea what I've to do make can somebody give me any idea on that theme?2
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man if i could figure out how to do stuff and had the money to do stuff i'd be dangerous as fuck, but as of now i can only posit questions... it sucks.
Examples:
- What do modern browsers/crawlers do when hit with, say, an "HTTP 450 Blocked by Windows Parental Controls" or an "HTTP 374" status code?
- What happens if I do <xyz minor edge case thing> on <system?> (just use your imagination, this happens for every edge case i can think of for every system and the list wouldn't fit in a few megs' worth of half-byte ASCII, much less *here*)
- What if I made like a board to fuck with busses while systems were on? Press a button and for like five bus clock cycles pins like 6 and 7 are shorted? That sort of thing. As for system/bus types, *literally any* (old consoles with expansion ports, PCI/-e/-X/whatever, southbridge, etc.)
- What if I did <filetype> shenanigans by doing <something indescribably horrible> to this file? How do things react?3 -
I got to create the data platform with Azure Data Factory. I am new to data platform.
Any advise on what to look out for?
Could you guy please tell me if you know any good use case I can look at or any obvious pitfall which drain all the credit and so on?
I just a vague idea of what Azure data factory can do.4 -
I've got an idea for a site I'd like to make, nothing complicated, just a little project to open source and show what I can do. I primarily use Rails and React, but this project could be done in just React with a Firebase (or similar) backend. My question is, do I make a Rails API just to show some of my rails code, or go with what I'd recommend a client do and go with Firebase? Thoughts?2
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My fellow programmer, you came here for a rant?
I apologize, you can have no rants. I won't rant for you today.
But you can still help me. What do you think of TypeORM? I'm starting a new project and I'm thinking about using it.5 -
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME, WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO WHEN YOU ARE NOT GETTING SOME LOGIC? AND WHEN DO YOU GET LOGIC? EXAMPLE, ME I USUALLY GET LOGIC WHILE I AM IN BATHROOM!10
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!rant
So, does anyone here play Screeps? If so, what do you guys think of it, and i what language do you write code for it?
I am currently on the fence about picking it up again because fuck JS. If i can manage to get C# to compile to that game without crashing performance like a sinking submarine i would probably try it again. -
I'm tired and stressed and it's friday
all my work is done that is required for monday, i should do testing and code cleanup, but i'm burned out so instead i'm gonna play with grafana and see what I can do with it, seems cool and something more interesting to do than code cleanup and wanting to cry2 -
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!
Test-Driven Frozen -
Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
!rant
I got an old laptop from my girlfriend that I can use for whatever I want.
As a programmer and computer nerd you can't deny that you wouldn't do anything with it, but what to do?
I want to use it for something, but can't figure out what. Maybe you have some ideas :D7 -
Any ideas as to what I can do with a 24 port network switch that I salvaged out of an electronics dump?
It's only 100 Mbit though4 -
Can i do api call every hour a free service so that it will not fall asleep? Like www.repl.it, netlify and Heroku?
What is the duration when they fall asleep? 2 hours?6 -
What do I do on my day off? I write a Slack-Twilio integration so I can send text messages from my laptop. (Yeah, iMessage on the Macbook works too, but that's not the number I wanted to text from.)3
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I am a student , and i know only basic web development and i don't know how to enhance my skill in it so that I can start earning , I need money urgently and don't know what to do!4
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I've had a linode server for a while now. And I'm only using 1% most of the time. Anyone have any cool ideas of what I can do with it3
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One of our previous clients is not paying the rest of the payments after receiving the codes. What are the things we can/should do digitally to make them pay the payment?
btw, it was a web app. we worked on the front end and the backend of the app. So, naturally we know all the API endpoints, we have the database access, and so on. So yeah, we can do so many things.
But still I wanna ask you guys, what would you do to make someone pay?3 -
I have been using 10 sick days since I had sth… I can use 5 more days legitimately and even 10 more dishonestly. What to do?8
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I built a css reset named reseter.css a month ago. It is used by more than 6k people but I got only 229 stars yet. Can Anyone suggest me what to do?
Repo: krishdevdb/reseter.css17
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