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Search - "don't fuck with me"
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F*CKING DESIGNERS.
Stop sending me your freaking PNG. Don't even dare to FREAKIN' make me use Chrome DevTools to get your FREAKIN' color our of your FREAKIN' PNG.
Give me all your colors in FREAKIN' hex, rgba, or whatever you want.
Give me all the fonts you used.
Give me all the sizes, is it percentage-based? Pixels based? Donuts-based?
I don't give a damn that you think you went responsive-first. Show me the damn responsive mockups. Not just the desktop sized with a note: "Don't worry mate, I made so that it all goes well when responsive".
Oh god. Oh god.
I'm not an artist, I give zero shit about how great it looks.
I'm a programming poet, I want to write code without having to open (or download it first through torrent) the damn photoshop, sketch, or whatever you use.
They take freakin' months to dump a mockup and we have days to make it happen. The pain.
The pain is strong with those damn designers.
Fuck.46 -
Her: Hey, just heard what John did to you.
Me: Yea. I can't believe he screwed me over like that. I thought he was my friend.
Her: Don't worry. Forget about the bustard. You know #FFF
Me: 🙁 #FFF? What does white got to do with all this.
Her: What???
Me: #FFF. This is white.
Her: Nooooo. It means Fuck Fake Friends. As in the G. Eazy song.
Me: Ohhh😐23 -
So this fucking happened today.
Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*
Me: *opens issue*
"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"
Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*
"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"
Me: *looks at error message*
"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".
😐 😶 😦
Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*
Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*
"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"
Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫
Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.27 -
Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.
[Checking...]
Me: It's running in Drupal
Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.
Me: Who the hell is "she"?
Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]
Me: Is she a developer?
Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.
Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.
Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.
Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.
Owner: What the fuck is terminal?
Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?
Owner: You sure are grouchy today.
Me: Yep...35 -
I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.
Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!
What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!
And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).
Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"
And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!
FUUUUCK!
*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?28 -
FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read25
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Biggest hurdle: torn between having boobs and missing an arm. I swear some people are under the assumption the brain is in the arm.
I am fully capable of building your network, resolving your outage due to your faulty code, can even tell you how many users your database can support at once. I don't need arms for that. Nor do my boobs distract me that badly.
"but men are going to make your life so hard" yup. And that's true no matter where i go
"all that typing with one arm can't be good for your back" welp. Find me a job that doesn't require a computer. Or manual labor. If you think typing will fuck me up, that's DEFINITELY out of the equation
"you're too pretty, there's no way this can make sense" dafuq you just say?!?!
"why don't you just stay home on disability, I'm sure you qualify, you wouldn't need to work" I'd rather be a fucking trophy wife if I'm staying at home. Fuck that.
And many more.
Sometimes they're fun. Give me more dumb arguments to counter? ;)55 -
People are fucking idiots. Had agreed to a meeting on Monday morning at 9 with some generic startup. Agreed to listen to their pitch after they had bugged me with hundred phonecalls and emails. It happened that my kid got sick during the previous night and this being the only meeting I decided to work from home and stay with the kid. I sent an email at 2am as apologizing, canceling the meeting and proposing a new time for another day this week.
Well at 9am I get a call from reception that my guests have arrived. I call the contact and she's angry at me that I didn't show. When I asked about the email she snaps at me: I don't have time to read emails on Monday mornings.
Well I don't give a flying fuck about your shitty pitch. Go fucking peddle your shit somewhere else if you can't handle your affairs and start snapping at me. FUCK.9 -
Me - "Has anyone changed the password on the print computer"
Him - "It's the same one."
Me - "Carrots99?"
Him - "Yeah, what's the message that comes up?
Me - "Password is incorrect."
The dumbest conversation I've ever had in my fucking life. You little shit, I know you changed the password just to fuck with people. You've been reading too many books on elevating yourself, tried to be important for something. It means fuck all if you can't remember what you changed it to. So you held up two hours of my work, not to mention everyone else, because you can't help but stick your beak in shit. You dont think people can't see what youre doing? Watching you scurry over to the computer with a big smile, only a to fuck off silent as a mouse not to be seen mumbling some shit about a system administrator. Yeah you forgot it you prick.
Stop sucking up to the boss, and commanding people on what to do, when you're as junior as junior gets. Don't change our fucking passwords, just so you can have the whole team approach you the next day asking for you, then not remember them. You cunt.8 -
What the fuck!? Did you just fucking say you don't want to discuss API endpoints with me because I'm just a frontend developer? Get the fuck down from your imaginary backend throne and talk to me like the software engineer that I am. That's right, I'm a software engineer too, you fucking asshole. Just because you do backend and I do frontend doesn't mean you can talk down to me. And I swear that the next time you say you made all the work and I just have to "style it" I'll just leave. You can "style it" yourself.34
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Holy fucking hell!
Who the fuck sets up a local network with an 255.255.0.0 subnet mask and then lets the dhcp-server distribute clients onto the 192.249.x.x., 192.2.x.x and the 192.22.x.x networks AT FUCKING RANDOM???
I need to SSH onto 40 routers distributed across the entire campus and have a WORKING internet connection while doing so and you make me spin the connect-disconnect-wheel. Fucking hell dude, don't give me that "Uh, it wasn't intended for this size"-bullshit. You have about 200 active devices. And in one subnet you have space for more than 60 000. Fuck you, dumbass! OH, YOUR FUCKING LIST IS FUCKING WRONG AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE IP OF THE ROUTERS? OH FUCK YOU EVEN HARDER!!!
Goddamn people why does legacy maintenance always suck so much?😭😭😭4 -
Da Fuck!?!
Yesterday I found some abnormal activity on my server, someone was trying to brute force my ssh as root since two days! Started raging and installed fail2ban (which automatically bans an IP if it fails to log X times and eventually sends me an email). Woke up this morning to find that a fucking Chinese guy/malware spent the whole night trying to brute Force me!
Fucking cunt! Don't you have any better to do!!
My key is a 32 characters long encrypted key, with the ban he can try 3 passwords /2 hours, good luck brute forcing it you bitch!36 -
Dear websites,
Please stop fucking asking me to install your shitty mobile apps. They do the same thing your site does. I have a browser, and it's a lot better. I don't even visit you every day. But even if I did, and I wanted your crappy app, I'd open the app store and download it by myself. No need to push me.
No need to waste the little screen estate I have with crappy call-to-action sections to download that shit.
Fuck your desire for more information about me. Fuck your narcissistic enjoyment when I have your icon on my fucking home screen.
The truth is, there is a very small number of apps that really need to integrate with a phone to offer better experience.
I feel most of you feel you need to have an app just because everyone else does. And so you could show these little Android and Apple logos on your website or ads. Well, how about you just make sure your site works well on a mobile screen and don't waste your money on a half-baked mobile shit app unless it really offers something worthwhile?
And if you do have a good app and it really does something, ask me just once and fucking respect my choice. Don't just ask me again and again, on every page, with every new session, or I'll just stop visiting.
You're all not that unique, so fuck you!13 -
WhatsApp, freaking WhatsApp.
How did this thing become such a standard. How? Why does everyone EXPECT you to have it. They assume that you have it installed on your phone.
'Why don't you respond to my messages? '
'Which messages? '
'The ones I sent you'
'I didn't get any messages. Wait, how did you send them to me? '
'WhatsApp'
'Ah, yeah I don't use that. Wait, where did you even get my phone number from? '
'What? You don't have WhatsApp? Freaking weirdo. '
'bye'
How did an app(lication) become such a standard and why does everyone automatically assume that you have it? And whenever I explain them why I don't use it (Facebook = bad), they just react with 'install it again' (most ridiculous answer) or 'what is wrong with you' or they just give me a confused look and walk away.
A lot of them also act like there were no alternatives (some even better than whatsapp). One of them and probably also the best one is signal. It has all the necessary features a messaging app needs and is also very secure.
Luckily a few of my friends have installed signal and I am currently trying my best at my parents. They have threatened to 'take my phone away if I don't install WhatsApp again' or 'if you don't use WhatsApp then you also don't need a phone'.
Okay finale:
Fuck whatsapp, fuck facebook, fuck ignorance24 -
Mutual on Tumblr: So what distro do you use?
Me: Zorin OS. I really like it. I'm even considering deleting my windows partition.
Mutual: Really? That doesn't count as a proper distro. Real Linux users only use Zorin on a virtual machine. Use Mint or Kali or something.
Me: It counts. It's not different from any other distro.
Mutual: It's okay to be noob. You can always ask me for advice.
Me: But I've been using Linux for about two years. I don't consider myself a noob.
Mutual: If you're using a shitty distro, then you're a noob.
Me: Okay. Thanks for the advice. (In my mind: fuck off already.)
I don't understand the issue with Zorin OS. Is it because it looks like windows or something? :/26 -
I've had this twice in a very short period of time now and it really pisses me the fuck off.
Sitting in the train (I think the grammatically correct version is on the train but no that would be a little too dangerous for me I think), on my phone devRanting/Signalling/Rioting around when an an elderly person says (aiming towards me):
"Oh, youngsters and their technology, where has socializing gone? Why are you people always on your phones? Go socialize sometimes!"
Excuse me but fuck right off.
Because you know what, I am currently socializing.
Just not in the way you are used to or maybe even 'okay with'.
I'm talking with friends from all around the world (Signal + Riot), participating in interesting discussions (on here) and what not.
I do have very strict rules for myself though. When in company with people I am actually going to socialize with or when hanging out with friends, the phone goes the fuck away unless I NEED to be reachable.
But I'm on a fucking train with people I don't know and frankly I'm done with socializing for the day as I've had to hear (often stupid) people asking for help all day long.
Next to that, I don't know you, you don't know me, who am I to judge you? I'm not going to socialize with anyone here anyways and even if they'd like to, I'm fucking done with people for to-fucking-day.
Sincerely fuck off please.8 -
Ya know I'm getting really fucking tired of this female only shit in the tech field. Like yes, there's a representation gap in the field. But you ever think it's because lots of females just don't want to fucking do it?
Most of the females I graduated high school with are going for something medical, teaching, and other fields that allow lots of human interaction and helping people. (You sure as fuck don't see people breaking their neck over the misrepresentation of males in the nursing or education field, do ya?)
You know who needs fucking attention in the tech world? Small towns. There's no fucking actual computer classes in any of the fucking high schools near me. Not a fucking thing. I had one class but it taught me how to use office software (word, excel, access, the whole shitfest).
But noooo let's just fucking focus on one specific group and everyone else gets fucked over.
Not to mention, a lot of the females here (at least from the ones I've read) just want to be treated like normal people.
I'm tired of this bullshit. Fuck every bit of it. Don't even care if it makes me a fucking dick. It's unnecessary sjw bullshit.40 -
So my friend started a YouTube channel, being the motivational man I am I encouraged him and made him a logo for his channel.
It started here, he called me a bazillion times every single day asking me to make stuff like Channel banners, intros.
He even went so far to call my design bad and that I could do better.
I'm definitely losing my hold on my generosity, it's like this with every single fucktard I help. It's like programmers don't get to have a life, people pitch me stupid ideas at every party.. Having a casual conversation a guy starts talking about an idea.
Oooh... And the worst part they say you can have 60% and just give them 40% 'MINORITY' share for coming up with an idea I could pull up from my arse instantaneously
Next time he asks me something I'm gonna fuck him up or just charge him a bazillion dollars... FUCK FUCK FUCK... REALLY GOT TO BUY THAT STUPID STRESS CUBE15 -
I don't even know where to start with this rant!
I haven't paid rent for 3 months now.I haven't paid the WiFi and electricity bills too.Hell, I haven't even paid the fucking college fees and it's almost mid-semester.I have like 100+ other bills I haven't paid.I have exhausted loans from all of my banks and I am at the fucking end now!!!!
What's worse is that some motherfuckers owe me close to 4 million in local currency!!!The project was finished in April and until now they can't fucking pay me because their "CEO has not signed the cheque". Motherfuckers, we were all in the same room when we agreed on the pricing.That half-assed CEO was also there!
What the fuck is wrong with people?WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????
How many fucking times do I have to come to your stinking shit office to follow up on payments.How many fucking times????How many fucking times do I have to see new V8s parked outside your office yet you claim you still collecting the funds.How many fucking times?!!?
Please fucking pay me!.I fucking need that money stupid.I don't survive on eating flies! FTW!9 -
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
Fuck y'all4 -
Got a call from a recruiter today. (Keep in mind that using WhatsApp is about a requirement over here.)
R: so can I app you (I hate that word to the fucking point) with further details?
Me: *oh fuck this is gonna get me fucked again* uhm I don't use it so yah...
R: ohhh okay, security reasons?
Me: *slight relief* yes indeed, sir
R: oh fair enough, you can always just text and call me!
*very relieved feeling*
It's for either a cyber security or linux job by the way.28 -
Manager: we use <teaming meeting service> for all of our team meetings.
Me: cool I'll go to the site and join the meeting.
Me: [using opera as default browser]
Service: [doesn't work with opera]
Me: [not really surprised, tries firefox]
Service: I need java to run me.
Me: I have java.
Firefox: yeah but I don't.
Me: why?
Firefox: 'cause we're phasing it out.
Me: [looking for some kind of plugin]
Internet: [tldr Firefox can only use 32bit java if it must use java]
Me: [installs 32 bit java]
Firefox: nah.
Me: waht?
Firefox: [covering its eyes] I can't see anything
Me: it's right there.
Firefox: ...
Me: ...
Firefox: ...
Me: ... please?
Firefox: ...nah...
Me: [checks service supported browsers]
Service: on Linux: ONLY FIREFOX
Me: .... fuck...
Me: [downloads Linux-32 distro]
Me: [runs as vm]
Me: [installs Firefox esr]
Me: [installs java-32]
Me: [manually creates plugin for Firefox to recognize java]
Me: [logs onto service and signs in]
Service: Meeting concluded 26 minutes ago.7 -
Contrary to most people I really love to receive email related to jobs when I'm in holiday. I keep important alerts on.
It's like:
email: ***urgent, server down***
me (sipping mojito by the pool): fuck them. let's them deal with that
email: ***requirements all wrong, must develop the feature again***
me (enjoying a dinner): oh, I told them 100 times!, fuck all of them, work for me now, stupid moron.
email: I destroyed by mistake the db with an update..."
me (dancing like crazy): ahahaha I told you that support guys should not have access to production db, fuckfuck you, fix it yourself!!!
and so on..... I don't know, it just boost my pleasure during holiday.9 -
Me: hello IE, you see that div with id?
IE: ...... ..... .... yes.
Me: would you like to set it as absolute and stick to bottom?
IE: ........... i don't know...
Me: but all the other guys like chrome and firefox are doing it.. come on it's not object-fit: cover; just absolute positioning. Please.
IE: ......... I can't!
Me: why the fuck not??
IE: ......because I don't see the id...
Me: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!!!
IE:...............10 -
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.8 -
Dad: What are you doing with your life?
Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?
My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.13 -
My PM: I don't like when you get up and help out other colleagues with their problems on their computer. You're not at their service.
Me: okay, I'll refrain from doing so.
The next day, I arrive 5 minutes before 8, I get myself a coffee, talk with a few colleagues, and:
PM: Hey, can you please come and help me review this email?
Me: ** fuck it, I still have 2 minutes ** Yeah I'm coming
PM: Now please.
Me: ...
Also my PM, 5 minutes later: Hey I don't manage to print my document, can you help me?
Me: ...
10 minutes later, I get a call:
PM: did you call XY about ZX?
Me: Yep, sent you a mail about it 2 minutes ago
PM: Really? I don't see it
Me: I sent it.
PM: Can you send it again?
Me: ...
Later that day:
PM: Hey, what are you up to?
Me: Well, I'm working on our improved websi-
PM: Can you please create a new campaign on Mailchimp? We're all under water here and a bit of cooperation from you would be great
Me: ** huh? ** erm, ok?
PM: Do it now
Me: Yeah yeah, don't worry. ** click ** here, done. Now, where was I...
----- PM on holidays
Other colleague from another department: Hey Phlisg! I have a small problem on our platform, can you help me?
Me: ** writes a script to help her out **
Her: awesome, thank you!!
Her own PM, 5 minutes later: Hey! Thank you very much for your help, it helps us out a real lot, very much appreciated :)
I lost my smile at work since the beginning of the year, but that little help I gave my colleague just gave my smile back to me :D14 -
FUCKING HELL
My sister has that Vaio laptop from 2012 and she wanted me to "clean it up"... You get the deal. I ran the bios and booted it up from my external SSD setup so I don't have to bother with her bloody Windows fucking 7. When I'm finished deleting some garbage she managed to accumulate on her disk I wanted to switch back to Windows to properly uninstall bloatware she had. AND THEN OT FUCKING STRUCK ME. Can't load bios. F keys don't do shit. Delete doesn't either. The bloody "ASSIST" button is as useless as always. Since the computer is so slow I'm gonna waste a whole day trying to fix it and in the end she will be like: "oh, it took you so long!". Why Vaio, why can't you just get over the fact that some people actually use BIOS and make it somehow ACCESSIBLE? It's the same shit every time I try to do anything with that laptop. I'm always getting shit on from Sony as if I paid them to fuck me. One last time. VAIO, FUCK YOU.4 -
The problem with my life is acceptance from others. Validation (almost wrote vladiation).
For instance, I finished my course in Advanced Java Programming a few days ago. Supposed to be a year course or some shit, finished it in two months. They told me I don't need to go to the remainder classes and I could write the examination. Got the certifications, passed with flying colours.
Well done me? No, fuck you me. "It's not through Oracle, so it's completely useless. Har har you wasted your measly salary on a course and it means nothing". You know what? Fuck you and fuck validation. I will validate myself from now on.
Anywhom, what a start to a shitty rant. Let's go over some generic points so I can finally make my avatar.
IE can suck a duck ("oooh you made it and it runs fine in every fucking browser except fucking IE - slow clap).
Chrome RAM usage can suck a duck, two times. (just generic post, don't actually give a shit - I use Firefox).
People who can't use one fucking indentation standard ("oooh two spaces, oooh three spaces, oooooh a fucking tab button... " etc) can fuck off.
That fucker who came and converted my buildings in Age of Empires with the "wolololo" priest can fuck off too.
Been reading through devRant and you know what? You guys are pretty cool5 -
Websites that don't let you copy paste email addresses. Well then, I'll do it using inspector. You're not going fuck with me, that's for sure.
-
Interviewer: I don't understand. With a resume and portfolio like yours you shouldn't be applying to companies like us. You should be setting your sights on companies like Google/Meta. You'd be bored here after everything you've done so far. I know we're offering more money than your current position but you're worth more believe me. I'm going to keep looking, and so should you. But you need to aim higher.
Dev: ...
Well fuck me I guess?16 -
Application has had a suspected memory leak for years. Tech team got developers THE EXACT CODE that caused it. Few months of testing go by, telling us they're resolving their memory leak problem (finally).
Today: yeah, we still need restarts because we don't know if this new deployment will fix our memory leak, we don't know what the problem is.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN THE LOWER REGIONS FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!?!?! HAVING A FUCKING ORGY???????????????
My friends took the time to find your damn problem for you AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS???
It was in lower regions for 3 MONTHS and you don't know how it's impacting memory usage?!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO STILL HAVE A JOB? BECAUSE IF NOT, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR FUCKING JOB IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIX THIS.
Every time your app crashes, even though I don't need to get your highest level boss on anymore for approval to restart your server, I'M GOING TO FUCKING CALL HIM AND MAKE HIM SEE THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. Eventually, he'll get so annoyed with me, your shit will be fixed. AND I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR USELESS ASS ANYMORE.
(Rant directed at project manager more than dev. Don't know which is to blame, so blaming PM)28 -
Focus on algorithms first and syntax last. Solve problems, then code.
If it uses power, has an I/O interface, and stores code, you can do stuff.
Dont get caught up in the little shit like specific code formatting and who's right or wrong between tabs or spaces. (It should be TABS anyway.)
Don't take shit from anyone.
Be confident not cocky.
Learn GIT as much as you can.
Don't burn out.
Get up and stretch.
Don't argue with your Operating Systems professor about why you shouldn't have to learn Linux.
Don't fall into the "I want to be a game developer" trap. Make your own games on your own time. You won't learn shit at school about it.
9/10 of the real world workforce is who you know, so don't be a dick. Those people might be the difference between Ramen noodles and steak dinner for you.
Charge market competitive rates and set an hourly rate that defines the clientele you deal with.
Don't ever, EVER, do trade or spec work. Free work don't pay the bills. Always start the clock when you're not sleeping, eating, or shitting. If you're emailing, calling, texting, or otherwise interacting with or on behalf of a client, bill them. Don't be a bitch when they decide they don't want to pay you. Get yours. Watch "Fuck You. Pay Me." at least once a month on YouTube.9 -
dear anyone looking to teach kids programming (especially organizations):
- please be realistic. teach things your students can use. how to debug, how to solve realistic, real-world problems. not how to make a turtle draw a circle, that's not programming.
- please don't have blocks. just don't. they hurt.
- focus on your content instead of putting up posters on the wall with celebrities talking about the importance of programming
- don't call it 'code,' call it 'program.' do you know how different muggles think they are?
- please teach in a logical order. too many times have I seen commands --> functions --> variables/variable types --> then back to functions and return types.
- don't set an appropriate "age" to do it. please. its enough for people to learn to program, but to be told they're too "old" for a course? I can't tell you how many forgetful seniors and special needs students have been insulted. and don't even get me started on being too young. knowledge is knowledge, skill is skill, ability is ability.
- teach concepts with programming. don't separate them. they work better when they're taught together.
- understanding is more important than style. for beginners, fuck style. all of your program could be all on one line for fucks sake. I've had teachers chose style > functionality, because, fuck working programs, right?
- let your content speak for itself. this is not the place for celebrity endorsements.
- give resources for after a lesson is complete. when a beginner is finished, recommend more resources. you're never done learning.
most of these were things code.org did wrong. fuck them. I was in a constructive criticism mood today…5 -
Worst of many. Had to work with someone who could be accurately described as a monkey in trousers with strategically cut fur.
Him: "I have refactored code now I have to refactor all your goddamn unit tests"
Me: "so?"
<silence>
<checks his commit>
Me: "why have you commented out every single line in all the unit tests?"
Him: "I DON'T BELIEVE WE SHOULD HAVE ANY UNIT TEST. THEY ADD TIME".
Me:"You cannot be serious. Apart from the obvious mistake in judgement why in the name of blue buggery fuck did you not delete the files? Have you not heard of source history?"
Him:"...."
I became his lead.
He left.5 -
I'm not sure if this entirely qualifies and I might have ranted about it a few years ago but fuck it.
My last internship. Company was awesome and my mentor/technical manager got along very well with me to the point that he often asked me to help out with Linux based stuff (he preferred Linux but was a C# guy and wasn't as familiar with it as me (Linux)).
We had to build an internal site thingy (don't remember what it was) and we delivered (me and some interns) and then the publishing moment came so I went to out project manager (a not-as-technical one) and asked if he could install a LetsEncrypt certificate on the site (he knew how and was one of the only ones who had direct access to the server).
He just stared at us and asked why the fuck we needed that since it was an internal thing anyways.
I kindly told that since it's free and can secure the connection, I preferred that and since its more secure, why the fuck not?
He wasn't convinced so it was off.
Next day I came in early and asked my mentor if he could do the SSL since he usually had access to that stuff. He stared at me with "what?" eyes and I explained what the PM said.
Then he immediately ssh'd in and got the damn cert with "we're going to go secure by default, of course!"
A minute later it was all set.2 -
Dev of my team coding on Idea
Seeing him using space-bar to format copy pasted lines of code
Me: why don't you use ctrl+l shortcut?
Him: I don't use shortcuts while coding
Me: at least use the tab
him: nope.
He formatted 3000 lines of code with space-bar. He's not even using notepad. 😐
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.9 -
Me: I've been using ubuntu with i3 for 6 months. Is awesome. Everything works great.
Brain: Have you seen debian or arch linux. They're better than ubuntu. Just try' em
Me: Brain shut up. I don't have time to reinstall everything + I'll 100% fuck my pc up. I'll do it another time.
Brain: Trust me. I know what's better for you. Try it now
Me: No.
Brain: Pleeeeease.
Me: Ok fine.
Me: Now windows doesn't work, debian doesn't work. I need to format my hard drive and do this shit all over again.
Brain: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Hey. Install arch linux.9 -
STOP SHITTING ON PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES.
Now, I'm not talking to the people that don't take it too serious, but rather to people that think their language is superior and others inferior. Why shit on PHP? A lot of stuff is build with this, including devRant. For me, I'd love to learn any languages that has a proper use for me. (With this sentence I'm excluding all exoteric languages, because they are useless) If anyone says, Python is awesome as fuck, yeah, I FUCKING AGREE. Anyone telling me anything is crap, I disagree. If it's that terrible, how do you know about it? If it was never used ever in a project, how can you know its terrible? You can't. Unless you coded that thing yourself.
Next time don't waste your time on shit like that. I AM ALSO LOOKING AT THE HOLY WAR APPLE VS MICROSOFT VS LINUX
STOP WASTING YOUR TIME WITH SHIT LIKE THIS.18 -
FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.
LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.
I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.8 -
FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM
AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS
I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME
LIKE:
"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"
"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"
"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"
I DON'T FUCKING CARE !
I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.
IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT
I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)
AND GUESS WHAT
THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL
CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!
FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT
STOP SENDING IT TO ME9 -
Why the fuck do teachers take points off for coding style. Like really placing my open house brace on the same line as an if is what looks good TO ME. And breaking from a while loop with an inverted condition is nicer than a huge if TO ME. Fuck it I like the m_ for member variables too. And yes C++ usually names functions like someFunction, but I like how c# does SomeFunction. Like shit, it's personal I don't care that I lose 5points every test I do it just to say fuck you21
-
Most common UX blunder: Icons
FUCK icons. The big problem with them is they assume a level of familiarity with the product. Someone who has never seen a folder before won't know what a button with a folder icon on it does!
This can be remedied with text NEXT to the icon, giving the button a readable purpose. But guess what? THAT SHIT AIN'T COMMON ENOUGH.
Here's a good example for you; cars. I am familiar with cars, but there's some fucking icons that I can't even figure out. And imagine if you aren't familiar with cars? That's what happens all the time; there's a hundred unused buttons on a car's interior these days because painted upon them is an icon, and only an icon! And who the hell cares enough to take out the manual and finger through it until you find that specific icon. In my experience, almost nobody.
Let's bring it back to software. It's the most overlooked UX sin to have icons without labels or some sort of describing text. As programmers, you and me have seen and can instantly recognize thousands of icons. But to get the typical user's experience, load up a complex program like Blender (assuming you aren't familiar with it yet) and see if you can tell me what all of the icons mean. Or don't, here's a screenshot from Blender 2.8 Beta. None of these icons have any labels.
Fucking frustrating, isn't it?
Don't rely on tooltips! Nobody wants to hover over every fucking icon and wait for it to pop up just to find what they're fucking looking for! Don't forget that a lot of users DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY EXIST! (This number isn't shrinking as fast as you'd expect with the newer generations, because many of the newer generations use touch devices where tooltips don't exist at all)
There's my UX rant. Remember that users are afraid to click things which they don't know what they do. For the most positive user experience, give users something to read; a way to understand what the fuck is going on without experimenting, and without waiting for the tooltip to appear.29 -
Me: Ok, so send me your logo.
Client: Here it is <template.xlsx>
Me: What I am supposed to do with a fucking animated gif in excel spreadsheet ?
Client: I don't know you are the IT guy
Me: OK go fuck yourself.7 -
Fuck you Xiaomi for creating MIUI, damn it's so bloated with non-removable adware to the level of extreme annoying. It Keeps popping up ads from creating a Folder to Playing a music.
Look at that screenshot. It even serve an ad in built in cleaner app, like What the fuck man?! For real? I already disable the serve ads option. But it keeps turning on.
I even messing with the Permission settings, doesn't even help.
I REALLY WANT TO MOVE TO LINEAGE OS SO BAD, but the warranty is on duration. I don't want to void it.
God, give me a patience for another 7 month.24 -
Fuck you gas company for back billing me 1500...I don't need you...built my own heating system...and with my managed pdu I can switch on remotely so its warm when I get home...so you can shove your heating app up your arse as well11
-
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
I got through the first stage for a summer internship at Amazon. They send me a link to a technical test with a 7 day deadline to complete.
The link brings me to a 404 page. Fuck.
I contact customer support, reach out to Amazon directly, don't get any response whatsoever. The week has passed and the link is still dead and I s received no word from them.
FML. And fuck Amazon for teasing me like this and for having such shitty technical support.9 -
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.
Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...13 -
So I bought myself some computer glasses after feeling uncomfortable looking at a screen with "bare" eyes (I don't wear corrective glasses).
But the other day, I lost them.
I looked for them everywhere, under each grain of dust I could find. They were nowhere to be found.
Reluctantly, I bought new ones. They arrived today, I unpack them, test them, and then do some flat cleaning. I lift some envelope and...
My first pair was sitting there, innocently.
Fuck me.7 -
Getting told that technology is bullshit and that humans have forgotten how to interact with each other (meaning being social) by people from the same age bracket that throw a fit because they can't use said technology is both hilarious and infuriating.
Seriously, aren't these old farts more concerned with things such as starbucks not putting "merry Christmas" on their fucking red cups? Am I supposed to take their shit seriously? No the fuck I am not, and neither should you.
If your old ass can't work how your fucking smartphone works, or have a haaaaard time trying to select Netflix from your smart tv app selection then the problem is not my generation. Its your dumbass for not keeping up.
Its fine if you don't want to use technology, fuck if I care. But you ain't winning this shit because of your preferences regarding technology.
Also, telling me that I am wrong for wearing my headphones at the gym to shut people off. Wtf dude, not everyone wants to fucking talk to others all the time, specially during gym time. I am there to work out and get sexy af, not to ask you how your fucking day went, I don't know u, i don't want to know you, you already showed me how fucking close minded and uninteresting you can be, why the fuck should I give that shit a chance?
Fuck outta here with that shit. He went on to tell me that software is made by people with 0 social skills. Booooooy I would have your granddaughter(she is my age) any day of the fucking week and you can tell me if we lack "social skills"
Foh13 -
FUCK OFF, YOU FUCKING USELESS PILES OF CRAP
WHY THE FUCK CAN'T COMPANIES JUST TEST THEIR FUCKING APPS FOR ONCE?!?
LINKEDIN GOES INTO A FUCKING CAPTCHA LOOP
SNAPCHAT/INSTAGRAM ARE AS SLOW AND ATTRACTIVE AS A SLIGHTLY RUNNY SHIT
ROCKSTAR IS FULL OF MONGS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A WORKING FUCKING GAME
GOOGLE IS FULL OF PERVERTED FUCKERS WHO TRACK YOU EVERYTIME YOU LOOK UP A FUCKING RECIPE.
FUCK THIS WORLD, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T BIG COMPANIES JUST MAKE SOFTWARE WITH THE USERS IN FUCKING MIND?!?!?
FUCK ME, I'M ANGRY10 -
Fuck post-it notes.
Oh look, another product manager found his inner child and plastered a wall with a colored arts and crafts project.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm abso-fucking-lutely in favor of connecting with your deep childish nature -- but then at least enter the meeting room like a boss, armed with some creative ideas, really get to work with some fingerpaint, modelling clay, glitter, molly, acid blotters and grape juice for the whole party.
Not only was that project poorly thought out. Not only does the assortment of colored squares contribute nothing to the clarification of ideas. The issue is also that by Monday morning, the meeting room will look like a strip club after an escalated party, floor littered with 60 little neon pink and green slips reeking of desperation, cheap glue and failure.
Now your whole project is on the floor.
OH DIGITAL WHITEBOARD YOU SAY. NOW WE HAVE 10 MANAGERS FIGHTING DIGITALLY OVER VIRTUAL POST-ITS, ON A CLOUD SERVICE COSTING $500/MONTH.
Product managers, just go fuck yourself, I don't care about your kindergarten bullshit processes.
Call me when you manage to pull a workable idea out of your ass, and just draw an SVG diagram with Inkscape, or write your brainfarts into a nicely organized Markdown file.1 -
Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.2
-
If your site asks me to log in and doesn't implement OAuth with Google or at the very least Facebook then go fuck yourself.
I have enough usernames and passwords in my head, I don't want more.10 -
A LOT of this article makes me fairly upset. (Second screenshot in comments). Sure, Java is difficult, especially as an introductory language, but fuck me, replace it with ANYTHING OTHER THAN JAVASCRIPT PLEASE. JavaScript is not a good language to learn from - it is cheaty and makes script kiddies, not programmers. Fuck, they went from a strong-typed, verbose language to a shit show where you can turn an integer into a function without so much as a peep from the interpreter.
And fUCK ME WHY NOT PYTHON?? It's a weak typed but dynamic language that FORCES good indentation and actually has ACCESS TO THE FILE SYSTEM instead of just the web APIs that don't let you do SHIT compared to what you SHOULD learn.
OH AND TO PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE, the article was comparing hello worlds, and they did the whole Java thing right but used ALERT instead of CONSOLE.LOG for JavaScript??? Sure, you can communicate with the user that way too but if you're comparing the languages, write text to the console in both languages, don't write text to the console in Java and use the alert api in JavaScript.
Fuck you Stanford, I expected better you shitty cockmunchers.31 -
*receives an old business laptop as payment for refurbishing another one*
Hmm, this thing doesn't have a charger with it.. looks like it's taking 18.5V.. my HP laptop's charger supplies that but its barrel connector doesn't fit 🤔
Regular users: oh dear now I have to buy a charger with a fitting connector for this.. where do I even start?!
Me: Well I guess I could just remove the charging port and solder some wires straight into the board instead 🤔
But that voltage.. my HP laptop's charger is still in use and I don't really want to fuck around with that one.
Regular users: oh dear oh dear, shouldn't I just throw this laptop away?
Me: well I guess that I could just use one of the rails of my upgraded lab bench power supply for it?
Lab electronics saving the day, every day, time and time again.. fuck yeah 😎6 -
Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!
WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!3 -
Dear Colleague who ended a call I overheard today with the sentence "I'm off next week, if there is anything - anything! -, call me on my mobile phone!". Fuck you. If you value your work more than your family, that's not only your problem. You're fucking my clients expectations, too. I don't think you're a hero. You're a moron.4
-
I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh9
-
So, apparently we had this important meeting with a client offsite this morning, I was "told" yesterday but nobody thought of creating a calendar event or sharing emails about it. I forgot, I don't even know the address or the hour.
My boss and this sneaky front ender came by at 11am joking about me not remembering.
Me: wow, I forgot. If it isn't on the calendar I don't even know it exists.
Turned to my screen and got back to work.
Fuck this shit.1 -
I started working in a company where they use scala/akka stack, that requires a huge amount of hw resources to compile and debug, so my boss bought me a new laptop: a MacBook Pro. I came from a Dell with Linux Fedora, and now:
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR COMPUTERS ARE SO SHITTY
JUST EXPLAIN ME WHY THE FUCKING KEYBOARD IS SO A PIECE OF SHIT WITH THE FUCKING COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU MAC OS WITH YOUR SHITTY POLICIES YOU CAN'T INSTALL THIS PROGRAM BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO ENABLE UNKNOWN RESOURCES
FUCK YOU BREW AND BREW CASK WHAT THE FUCK OF TWO SHOULD I USE
FUCK THE STUPID TOUCHBAR I WANT THE FUCKING ESC, DELETE, F1, F2 AND SO ON
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR MAC IS FRAGILE AS FUCK I CAN'T THROW THAT FROM THE FIFTH FLOOR OF MY BUILDING LIKE A THINKPAD
FUCK YOU SAFARI THAT YOU DON'T REFRESH THE PAGE WITH F5
I have a small gif for you just to explain how much shitty is Mac OS17 -
This rant goes to my best friend.
Fuck you!
You do not fucking argue with people for doing what they like! So what if I want to use linux? What fucking problem does that make? Am I now a hacker fanboy for wanting to use a terminal instead of fucking pointing and clicking on shit like a monkey? Am I not allowed to want my privacy and free open-source? What? I shouldn't browse internet without getting my personal info stolen? Oh, they're tracking criminals? Then why don't you install a camera in your fucking living room so you can help them out? And don't fucking get me started on why I don't want to use Windows 10.
Fuck fucking fuck fuck. I know he's a good friend but this fucking shit gets my blood boiling.8 -
Fuck you dickhead. If you don't like how I'm doing things, just fucking do them yourself. Or how about you give me some specifications, designs, a consistent database model? No? Fine, then don't fucking complain when I make do with what I have.4
-
Manager: what is the estimations for this task A nd B?
Me: Task A: 3 months for 1 guys, and task B: 2 Months
Manager: ok, u can have a fresher, and finish task A, and u urself can pick task B, u can train him and bring him up to pace...
Me: (trying to recalibrate my estimations)...
Manager: oh and u have 3 weeks to deliver production ready scalable quality code with junits, documentation and testing done...
Me: then why the fuck did u bother for the estimates?
Manager: oh that is just for the process complaince...I don't want any trouble in audit...4 -
Boss: You have one month to finish the program.
Me: It will be complicated but lets see how it goes.
To be cleared the end date is 2 of July.
Boss on the last friday: You have to finish on the 20th of June
Me: Yeah sure....
Boss yesterday: You have to finish on the 15th of June.
Me: You said one month.
Boss today: you have to finish by the end of this week
Me: No problem Boss you will have it tomorrow!!!
Boss: You have to. There are more projects waiting...
Me: -.-
This is what I have to deal with. But hey... don't forget... tomorrow is a new day so ... fuck it.5 -
Let's do photorealism they said,
It'll look beautiful they said,
...
...
...
NO!
Fuck it, we're going with low poly. I'm not rendering one fucking tree, for three god damn hours!
(That's presuming that it doesn't crash during that period)
And yes I know it doesn't actually look that photorealistic, but hey, give me a break I just started. Plus I don't even wanna know how long it would take to render if it was done to look really fancy.13 -
"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.
"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"
For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.7 -
Story of me trying to connect to a colleague from neighbouring team with 12 hour difference timezone:
Me: Hey! Shall we catch up to discuss a feature that will help us dominate the world?
She: Sure.. what time works for you?
Me: Since we have timezone challenge, I'd say boundary times would be good so none of us have to stretch.
She: umm.. good..
Me: How about 07:30 PM your time?
She: oh sweetie.. evenings don't work for me.. I want my evenings free..
Me: fine.. how about 07:00 AM your time?
She: no darling.. I am not a morning person..
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF BITCH. I CAN'T COMPLY WITH EVERY TANTRUM OF YOURS.
And with that.. I didn't respond to her invites which were either super early for me or super late. Let her keep waiting..
Juniors with ego are shittiest folks to work with.27 -
Fuck sake :(
So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(5 -
i am fucking tired of companies that come to me expecting to magically fix their STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT AND TRASH CODE. how about when i ask "can i get a project brief", instead of saying "just fix it" or "it just needs to do this", GIVE ME A FUCKING COHERENT AND DESCRIPTIVE WRITEUP OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. i can't read your minds, let alone read the code the previous cock sucking developer wrote, so guess what? i'm left with no other option but to completely rewrite it. to top it off, instead of giving me god damn excuses as to why you can't get me the api key for your order processing, MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT AND GET IT TO ME. how the fuck do you expect me to test an application when i don't even have access to the fucking api the whole shit pile is based around? i swear to god if these people expect me to have this done by the end of the week but want to be little cunt nuggets they can go eat shit. fuck you, fuck your "contract", fuck your company, FUCK EVERYTHING. greedy, shit faced bastards2
-
Fucking teachers, man.
I had to present a project today.
Teacher randomly asks me
"Where did you copy this from?"
At this point I'm pretty fucking pissed, but am thinking that he might just be kidding around or fucking with me. Nope. Serious question. Well, fuck, now I have to start defending my own fucking work, because this fucking asshole assumes that I copied my project from somewhere.
He fucking questions me like I'm a murder suspect for half an hour. After that he gave me a passing grade.
I have no problem with the grade. My project wasn't entirely finished, I knew that I would only get a shitty grade on it.
I have a problem with this line of questioning. That fucker thinks that accusing people of plagiarism okay. I don't think there are appropriate words to describe such a rotten person.
The funny thing is, that colleagues who did in fact copy all their fucking work, were not questioned in such a way.
So basically if you think for yourself, work your ass off, you are a fucking cheating asshole.
Dear teacher,
I can say, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.14 -
Be me
>programming since I got up
>don't have much time to program because job sucks up all my time
>dont know the best solution to a problem so decide to take a small break
>open rocket league
>start 1v1 match
>4 minutes later
>dad walks in my room, demanding I go pretend to be a stone age nibba
>pic related
>wants me to dig some dirt for his crops
>wants me to carry multiple buckets of water
>wants me to plow literally fields
>no.jpg
>thisIsRealLifeNotMinecraft.wav
>tells me that I'm addicted
>tells me that he's getting rid of the Internet again
>fuckyou.png
Only my girlfriend and programming bring me joy and you reduce my capacity to interact with both. Fuck you.14 -
Ah the wonders of working with non-technical people. 😤
I had a logistical problem. The SSD on my laptop crashed.
Me: No biggie just request new one.
Them: Sorry we don't have any on stock.
Me:Okey then give me a new laptop.
Them:Ok fine here you go.
Me:I specifically required 16 GB of RAM.
Them: ok here is an extra 8gb
Me: I need DDR 4 not DDR3
Them: don't have any. We will restock shortly.
A couple a days later a colleague requested 8gb DDR3 and got DDR 4.
The fuck is wrong with people. Can you not read?🤔🙄1 -
😡😡😡 Who here thinks that great software can be build in a few hours?!?! My silly ass boss does. He haven't programmed in decades and think we're supposed to be able to build software that doesn't break, has the best security, no flaws, feature rich in VERY, VERY short amount of time!! 😡😡😡 Fuck out of here!! It pisses me off to my core.
Me: Just finished the required software. In a short amount of time with new stuff I've never worked with before.
Him: Well, it took u a week to do. I heard it should've only have taken u a few hours.
Then u build the shit then!!! Fuck out of here.
The Sr. Dev and I was talking about this on Friday. U won't good product...leave us the fuck alone and let us work!!! He don't think that there will be small issues that come up. He thinks we're supposed to already know those issues are gonna exists, like really u fuck tart!?
FUUUUUUCK!!!!7 -
You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?
I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.
what even is ticket linking??!?!?
what even are tickets??!?!?!
or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!
I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡7 -
I am not a front end developer. Don't have the skill set, but I am learning. Work assigns me an "easy" task of modifying someone else's angular code(with all those <div> tags) to change some functionality. If it was well formatted, easy shit.
WHY THE FUCK DID THE PREVIOUS FUCKER INDENT LIKE THEY HATE ME? PARENT TAGS ARE FARTHER OUT THAN CHILDREN TAGS. SOME OF THE TAGS ARE 10 TABS FROM THE LEFT, WHILE THEIR CHILD IS ONLY 2. IN ADDITION, ALL THEIR CODE IS COPY PASTED FROM OTHER FILES, REFERENCES CONTROLLERS FROM OTHER PARTS OF THE CODE IT DOESNT NEED!
I am tempted to kill it with fire, find the person who wrote it(on a different continent), kill them, and then rewrite the whole thing in a language I am still learning. FUCK!2 -
So, I'm a Portuguese dude. I have my OS's in English language and Portuguese keyboard. Today, I spent 30 min raging at my computer because I couldn't login. I tried like all my 865725428 passwords (fake number, in case u don't get it) and still couldn't access it. Then I fucking looked and remembered Windows is an asshole and changed my keyboard input to English, so all my symbols were changed. Fuck you Windows, Linux never did this to me. Y the fuck would u? Do u like to fucking make me waste my precious time? Go and fuck yourself with a 35'' CAT-5E cable you prick.10
-
Situation: My lead dev (read as in, my employee that has the lead developer position, not my superior) is complaining about certain decisions being made in regards to a rather large project that has been stagnated by executive political bullshit.
Me: let them fuck themselves over, it is their decision to have a voice on this and we are not the ones developing it, merely managing the resources.
Him: Well they do not know what they are asking! everyone is wanting to have an opinion! a voice!!!
Me: and by their own volition they will fuck themselves over and I have the proper documentation to show everyone that if the project is delayed, it will be by popular vote. I have already spoke to our VP to let him know that we are not taking part in their decision planning process, that we provide the necessary feedback, they get to do with it what they want regarding their decisions.
Him: they are being really stupid and inconsiderate
Me: they are indeed, but as long as I show that you, me, and the rest of the team provided input, they disregarded it and went with their decision, then then the fault is on them, not you or our team. Let them fuck themselves over, I have the documentation needed to secure our asses, I record every conversation and I have every email saved. Really, if they don't want to listen to you they will not be able to point the issues that will inevitably rise back to you or us.
Him: .... you are evil
Me: fuck with me team see what happens. Their face and reaction is what makes me get a hard on after the fact.
Ain't no one touching my team.10 -
Customer support people are weird.
They ping "Hi" and just leave it at that!
Wtf do you want me to do with your "Hi".
Is it something urgent I need to look at? Or some generic query?
But I won't fucking know that, unless I reply to your stupid context-less greeting. Because you can't bother to take an extra minute to type. Even worse when it is outside my work hours.
If I do decide to reply I am already online and lost my leverage on deciding whether it's actually urgent or not!
Fuck you Karen from support and fuck you Kumar.
And fuck you junior devs! Don't fucking "Hi. There?" me bitch! Type what you want I'll reply if it's worth it and when I have time to.5 -
Ok, YOU fuck up THREE (!) times, and send me new text for the app, each time saying its '100% finished, no errors' and expect me (each iteration) to do it IMMEDIATELY
Why don't you go fuck yourself, do your damn job, do it right, and THEN contact me instead of running around like an childish preschooler with a pair of scissors4 -
My level of frustration with Microsoft is growing to a point that I'm unable to contain it.
They buy Github, it was a great tool for developers because is FUCKING WORKED! New features were never beta tested on users unless they requested it.
Why in the absolute fuck am I getting all these new experimental bullshit features that literally make it harder for me to do my god damned job?
They provide me NOTHING but grief and sleepless weekends while I fix the god damned pipeline that's worked perfectly fine for YEARS.
Your business model is bad and your products are SHIT.
Fuck you Microsoft, I cannot even stress it enough. If I had a time machine that could go back 5 years and my options were: Tell the world about Covid, make sure Trump never became president, or stop the Github purchse. I would hunt down and brutally attack the team of executives that decided to buy Microsoft.
Words cannot adequately describe how much I want Microsoft to fuck off. If the company was a person and they died in a house fire it wouldn't be enough.
I just want a VCS that does what it's supposed to do. I don't need pipelines, I don't need image repos, I don't need static code analysis.
I JUST NEED A FUCKING VCS THAT CONTROLS VERSIONS OF SOFTWARE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS.15 -
Why the fuck are Indian software companies under the impression that interns are just junior developers that you are legally allowed to fuck over with shit/no pay. Internships are supposed to be about learning and growth. Every fucking company I apply for has some bullshit bi polar disorder because their requirements state one thing and they ask you other bullshit on the phone or at the interview.
How the fuck do you expect a college student to know React, Django, AWS, Angular, D3, Scala, iOS and whatever buzzword you assholes noticed were trending on quora?
And for fucks sake don't waste my time to call me and ask if I'd be available full time if I mentioned I can only intern part time.
WTF is wrong with these people.6 -
Soo I am the only tech-guy in my family and it's a bit like:
Other: You do program?
Me: yes?
Other: pls repair my printer!
And you guys know how awful that is, aren't you? But in my family it gets tougher...
Today my older sister asked me how to save data from a broken HDD. I said I know a guy who's doing forensic on HDDs and he could make that.
She's like: "but a friend of mine said it could be done easier with software"
And yes, it is! But not that successful...
Now's the point she killed me instantly!
She said: "he opened the HDD and said the disks look fine they could be easily added to a new HDD"....
WHAT THE ACUTAL FUCK I SAID NOW YOUR DRIVE IS BROKEN FOREVER! AND THEN SHE INSULTED ME AND BLOCKED ME ON FUCKING WHATSAPP! SHE IS LEARNING WEBDESIGN WHY THE FUCK DON'T TEACH HER THE BASICS OF FUCKING COMPUTERS! Oh for fuck sakes....3 -
//little Story of a sys admin
Wondered why a Server on my Linux Root couldn't build a network connection, even when it was running.
Checked iptables and saw, that the port of the Server was redirected to a different port.
I never added that rule to the firewall. Checked and a little script I used from someone else generated traffic for a mobile game.
OK beginn the DDoS Penetration. Over 10 Gbit/s on some small servers.
Checked Facebook and some idiot posted on my site:
Stop you little shithead or I will report you to the police!!!
Checked his profile page and he had a small shitty android game with a botnet.
Choose one:
1. let him be
2. Fuck him up for good
Lets Sudo with 2.
I scaled up my bandwith to 25 Gbit/s and found out that guys phone number.
Slowly started to eat away his bandwith for days. 3 days later his server was unreachable.
Then I masked my VoIP adress and called him:
Me: Hi, you know me?
He: No WTF! Why are you calling me.
Me: I love your're game a lot, I really love it.
He: What's wrong with you? Who are you?
Me: I'm teach
He: teach?
Me: Teach me lesson
He: Are you crazy I'm hanging up!
Me: I really love you're game. I even took away all your bandwith. Now you're servers are blocked, you're game banned on the store.
He: WHAT, WHAT? (hearing typing)
Me: Don't fuck with the wrong guys. I teached you a lesson, call me EL PENETRATO
He: FUCK Fuck Fuck you! Who are you???!!! I'm going to report you!
Me: How?
He: I got you're logs!
Me: Check it at Utrace...
He: Holy shit all around the world
Me: Lemme Smash Bitch
*hung up*4 -
Me vs Facebook support
Me: I'm having trouble with xyz even though I followed your instructions. You have problems with the Arabic language*insert very detailed and professional explanation here with links*
FB Support: please follow the instructions here *insert link*
Me: I already followed those, that's why I'm asking for your help. Please provide detailed instructions.
FB Support: We can't help you, we don't provide detailed instructions, please follow instructions provided in said links.
Why the fuck are you called support then huh? I can read the damn documentation.. Hell I get paid for reading the motherfucking documentation!!3 -
I need to share this with someone:
I've been using this app for months, maybe an year, without contributing cuz I didn't have anything really valueable to say.
Generaly, my girlfriend and family work at the beach in summer and they need my help but than again I can find the perfect career starting intern which will be worth perspectively at that time.
Why the fuck is my family doing this to me. They obviously need help but I am delaying my career for two years now because of that but after all, family is my treasure and it's more valueable than a career, there will always be internships but what stops me from spending a decade more and still be making the same mistake, but if I don't go I might break up with my gf and mess family things even more I don't want that, what would you do ?24 -
Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.
Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!
Now back to programming...
Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!
Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.rant all praise ubuntu hail linux ranting my fucking arse off java works fuck windows opengl by default3 -
I was just waiting for it to happen. The gaslighting charade finally crumbles.
Tldr: was strongly asked to work overtime again for no reason, refused it (weakly, but it is a start).
(Boss isn't actually my boss, just my unofficial lead at the moment.)
1.4 hours after regular work hours:
Me: boss, this issue is still not resolved but I am out of ideas for it. Already shared my last resort idea twice with you but you don't agree to it. If you are available I can meet you for a short call before logging off for the weekend.
.
10 minutes later, just as I am about to log off.
.
Boss: let's meet. The problem implies something wrong with your code. Let's check.
Me: [ugh] okay
.
Boss then rambles on about a juvenile nsfw joke to describe the situation and I force a laugh, we get to the topic. I manage to explain the situation despite the interruptions from him. Then he shares his genius idea. We agree it might work but the implementation will be slightly tricky. It is now 2 hours outside of work hours.
.
Boss: can you try it out and let me know if it works?
Me: sure, I'll try it out on Monday and keep you posted.
Boss: Monday?!! Look, it is getting on my nerves now, this has been going on for too long (false, since the issue is from a day before not a week before and I had asked for help multiple times before today).
I don't even know what big boss is going to be like. This needs to be done.
Me:. ...
[ You manipulative asshole, I'm not doing overtime for you, I owe you nothing and don't give a shit about your senile nerves. Fuck you and your shit codebase and clusterfuck development environment which makes the hairballs in a public toilet look well engineered.]
Look, it is difficult for me too...
Boss: If not now, I can accept weekend. Because I don't know how big boss will take it. You understand right what I'm saying. This needs to be done.
Me: [Fuck off scum chod! Take your acceptance, fuck it hard, and take it away with you! ]
Hmm. Let's see what can be done.
Thanks for your help.
Logged off.
I can't express the tone of his righteous rage in words.
I have never had to face such revolting attitude before from people at work. I just don't get how people can be so ridiculous. The whole team is filled with chodebags of different sizes.rant fucking chodebag little wins how do these people get chosen to lead? perhaps more to come later33 -
GF: How was your pitch to investors?
Me: it was great (... went-ahead to talk about the daunting process of the preparation and motivation).
GF: Why do you go through all this process, when you can become a fraudster, you can use voodoo and make it even easier, in less than 3 months you can buy a duplex, nice car and we can go shopping... you don't need to do any human ritual unlike before - I heard you can even meet a chief priest to make it faster for you.
just get the bag abeg (slang for getting rich quick).
Me: Fuck the day I met you, not everyone wants to be a low-life, and fuck out from my life.
Men if you live in a saner society, or you are born to elite/upper-middle-class you don't how lucky you are.
Most times I wonder how I keep my sanity with all these shitty people around. like messed up society where almost everyone is a fucking deep hypocrite
.I know I need to change my circle but how the fuck do I do that when I am surrounded by fuckstards, which are far worst than Gypsies.
lowlifes with low dreams.
I need to get the fuck out of this place!12 -
Dear person who extended my <T> to <Type> in the documentation:
Fuck you! Everybody knows what the T stands for! Don't mess with my stuff, don't go against my ethics and most of all, don't even dare to talk back on me unless you want me to return the favour and extand that assgole of yours with a cactus2 -
Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.
Sounds great, no?
It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.
Mhh, coffee...
Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.11 -
Fuck you BT, charge me £80 for phone and internet, then only give me 50% of your advertised speeds that cuts out at random points then when I complain tell me you'll look into it but if you find any issues within my property I have to pay for the fixing of all issues with my line inside and outside the property not to mention the over £100 call out fucking cost!!! Plus you were fucking charging me £6.99 a month for BT fucking Sport that I don't watch and that I was told on 3 occasions was fucking free for the last 3 years!!! Again I will reiterate FUCK YOU BRITISH TELECOMS10
-
So, you may know this already...But fuck CNET once again! Don't get me wrong, even if I loved the auto-playing video ads I would still be angry af. The site loads with a decent layout at first, but then in a second it changes and all I get is a pile of shit broken because of some <sarcasm>really great</sarcasm> CSS.
P.S. Yeah, I know it's probably my ad blocker killing something that is vital for the site to keep it's shape, but I don't care about that at all. I'll never give it up. (Or let it down, for that matter)9 -
Question everything!
Comments lie.. sometimes code does too.. Customers..they lie the most..and are sloppy..
Don't be like customers, don't be sloppy. If you were sloppy own it & don't lie about it!
Pick your fights (trying to fix vs rewrite the shit out of it)..you will know what to do more with experience..
RTFM & docs.. If things still unclear, ask before your dick gets stuck in a toaster!
Ask away, learn about the customers & how they use your product.. you'll be surprised how something intuitive to you might be a rocket science for them..meaning more room to fuck things up when using it..more ways you can adapt & prevent things..
Most of all, don't fuckin lie.. ever!!
If you lie on you're CV, we will find out.. If you fuck up something & lie about it, we will find out.. but it will cost us precious time when solving it from scratch.. People fuck up..that's a fact..how you go about it is what makes/breaks it for me. So don't ever fuckin lie to me!!
And don't be arogant.. if you complain about fixing bugs, this is not a job for you.. if you can't even fix the obvious ones you've put there in the first place..twice as bad..
So think before you code..what do you want to do, how you want to accomplish this, is it reusable, can it be extended, does it introduce new technology into the project, will it fuck up current setup.. once you have this shit figured out, code will write itself..
Did I mention already you're not to lie to me, ever?!
And don't try talking about me behind my back either..I've seen it backfire before, results were not good..3 -
I had an interview with a company that works offshore (works for a big silicon valley company) for an internship program. I liked their bosses vision and how he treats his coworkers. After 1 hour technical interview I asked how much they pay for internship and they told me they are not paying anything. And they said hey we are teaching you how things works. Wait... What? Atleast you can pay my transport and food fees. Fuck you and fuck your company. If you don't pay me a single fucking penny, I am not working with you. There is local laws to pay me some money. If you don't care about laws, I wont care about your fucking company. Burn in hell.5
-
Doing exams at the moment. Finished phase one out of four successfully at Monday but now stuff is going bad again as usual. Seriously, with me, everything goes perfectly fine until stuff gets official, then code starts failing, self doubt comes up and fair of failure and low self esteem hit me like a bomb.
I'm using my own framework which I actually also use in production and it works fine! But then it has to start to fucking fail at the moment I need it to work the fucking most.
I've worked towards this for five years now, I don't want to fail this! I don't want to disappoint either myself or my friends or my parents.
Fuck.15 -
Installing Unreal plugins from github be like:
clone, try to build
unreal: nah
me: can you tell me why?
unreal: nah
me: please?
unreal: nah
...
me: With the powers of MS VS I command you, tell me why the fuck you aren't building!?!
unreal: yeah I need that dependency in this plugin fo rmotion tracking
me: we don't do motion tracking *comment it out*
unreal: there I build it.
... I feel like I was a Karen, went to talk to the manager (VS) who gave me a proper explanation to why the employee had to behave this way.2 -
!dev && rant
> be me
> headphones on
> hands packed with shopping bags
Some old bitch neighbor that I can't stand: oh hi!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING ME TAKE OFF MY HEADPHONES FOR!?
Seriously. When someone has his hands stuffed with groceries and has headphones on, maybe they don't want to stop, put their bags down, take their headphones off and say no more than another hi. Like not even anything else, just hi and walk away! What's the fucking point!? Making me pause and waste time just for the hell of it? Thank you old bitch.9 -
my mum just sent me a picture of her and my long time no see cousin from US over WhatsApp. Short time after that, Facebook sent me a friend proposal of a girl from US I don't know - obviously it was my cousins girlfriend because she had a profile picture with him. My cousin doesn't have Facebook.
WTF?!
so what Facebook did must have been some face analysis of the picture my mum sent me over WhatsApp and compared my cousins face with profile pictures from friends of my friends to send me the proposal I got.
this is so fucking scary! I immediately thought of @linuxxx security blog and how my usage of such software affects the privacy of others besides me being transparent as fuck.
Definitely have to rethink my software choices and app/online behaviour!11 -
So I had this conversation with my boss yesterday...
Me: Hey, I found this bug in the other team's code that has a major impact on what we're trying to do. Can you ask them to look into it?
Boss: No, I don't want to be the one who has to tell them there's a major bug in their code. Find a workaround.
M: But... It isn't really a major bug, it just has a big impact on our side of things.
B: Workaround!
Fuck bosses who value how they think they look to other devs over a day of my time. Fuck.4 -
The ammount of digging I have to do in order to fix something or building the mindset to do something i don't want to.
I have a mental block regarding people telling me what to do. I consider myself a pretty chill dude, but when someone says "do this" my mind automatically goes into "oh fuck that" mode.
I hate being this way, wish I could just switch that shit off and work on what i am told and be done with it.
I can spend all weekend fucking around with php. But the moment someone tells me to do something at work with it I start dreading it
This applies to damn near everything in life except for anything that has to do with my children.
My dad was neglectful as fuck, that itself makes me overly paranoid of making my children feel the same way I did growing up. Just wanted to throw that out.
It seems I did some progress today! Thanks Dr Devrant!
Dr Devrant: tell me about your father
Me: motherfucker sucks camel balls2 -
!dev
I'M SO GONNA GET MY OWN LOCKPICKING SET AND LEARN HOW TO FUCKING PICK LOCKS. I'M SICK OF GETTING LOCKED OUT OF MY OWN FUCKING ROOM. "WHY DON'T YOU USE A KEY?" YOU ASK? GOOD QUESTION. MY JERKBAG ARSEHOLE PARENTS DECIDED TO NOT GIVE ME A FUCKING KEY FOR MY OWN FUCKING ROOM *FOR 6 GODDAM YEARS* SINCE WE'VE MOVED IN. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO THE LOCKSMITH OR SOME SHIT-" DO YOU I THINK I CAN JUST FUCKING WALTZ IN, ASK FOR THE KEY AND BRING IT TO THE FUCKING LOCKSMITH TO GET A DUPLICATE? AS IF THEY WOULD!!! AND NOW I'M GONNA GET EITHER AN F OR GO FULL SUICIDAL BECAUSE COFFEE THROUGH THE NIGHT IS NOT A FUCKING OPTION FOR ME. BECAUSE ALL THE FUCKING MATERIAL I HAVE FOR MY GODDAM ASSIGNMENT, ALONG WITH MY LAPTOP IS IN MY FUCKING ROOM. THANKS DAD! YOU SURE ARE HELPFUL AS FUCK! FUCK YOU!12 -
HR is getting so desperate they are prescheduling me interviews attached with CVs in the hopes that I will interview the candidates for a senior, even though the candidates have no experience whatsoever in embedded software programming. Workday, JIRA and Excel does not count you absolute fucknuggets.
For fuck sake, I asked management to hire new grads or juniors, at least I can get a person motivated to learn, but I swear they just don't listen.
They just are content with wasting my time lol3 -
WTF chrome/google?! Fuck you & your new designs & features!!
Anyone else got forced new grouping for tabs after the update?! Hey, you can group tabs in.. I know, I just don't want to!! It's fugly and annoying and counterproductive..
It used to work to change flags to not have that 'feature' but I can no longer force the old layout for tabs even with flags.. :/ It's driving me nuts..16 -
This is gonna be depressing. You have been warned.
I am getting sick of people, moreso than I usually would. It's getting to the point where I'm feeling like I want complete isolation from people. Why do people get pissed at me then not tell me what I did wrong? How the fuck am I supposed to fix it?
One of my friends, S, has a lot of issues, and I've been friends with her for many years. I try to help her as much as I can because I actually care, but she rarely responds to any texts and disappears for days at a time. Then she comes back and says I worry too much and plays it off like it was nothing. Wtf?!
I give everyone hugs. If you want a hug, you'll get one from me no questions asked. I do this because I'm actually incredibly depressed and the hugs help me feel less lonely. I'm getting tired of caring so much for everyone else and having nobody actually care about me. S says that I care so much BECAUSE I don't want anyone else to feel that way, but it hurts like hell when I'm the only one who cares.
I don't care what people think about me in a sense that if they have a problem, fuck off. I do, however care that nobody seems to actually CARE. I HATE THIS SHIT. I'm getting to that point where I don't want to die, I just don't want to exist like this. Fuck everything at this point. Nobody ever responds to texts, they get pissed for no reason, just fuck it.9 -
I do like Windows, it is a quite good OS nowadays, but for FUCK SAKE, what does it take to fix that CLUSTER FUCK that you call search? You don't have enough people MS or what? Just show me the BLOODY ITEMS that actually contain the words that I typed in!!! While you are at it WOULD YOU MIND LEAVING ME THE FUCK ALONE WITH THE FUCKING WEB RESULTS???9
-
Who the fuck uses http code 200 for a failure. Seriously have you ever heard something about a need to parse the shit you're returning...
Now I don't know whether it's me who's wrong, but man there are more than 80 different codes defined so there really should be something for you, don't you think?
And don't give me shit like "well the request worked so we return 200 it's only that the request wasn't correct". What for a fucking peace of something are you... Those codes are for that exact reason.
Anyways I'm going to parse the shit with string compare and afterwards kill myself out of shame. Whish me luck...4 -
RANT!
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
BLOODY FUCK TURD BORN FROM THE BACTERIA OF YOUR MOTHER'S POOP, BRAINLESS WHORE
. JUST ONE SECOND OF YOUR NON EXISTENCE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD FOR ME.
Well this is what I would say to my brain deficient friends who think I don't have a life and sit at the computer all day playing GAMES and that I should get away from my computer and learn to PLAY with them in real life
BITCHES DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS TO WORK YOURSELF A LIVING, ALL THEY KNOW IS THROW MONEY AND GET THEIR DICKS SUCKED OFF. FUUUUUCCK!! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GAMES PART. ALL THESE PUNY FUCKS CAN DO IS TO POST POUT FACES FILLED WITH DOG FAECES AND CRY ABOUT THEIR LOST LIKES.5 -
This was interview in so called startup.
BTW I don't get point in company calling themselves as startup when they are 5-6 years old, just call your self small sized company.
1 - online interview with HR, Normal.
2 - online technical interview - 1 hour of discussion with Lead.
3. On-fucking-site technical interview - ~1 hour of detailed technical discussions.
4. Coding task- submitted successfully
5. Zoom meeting to discuss on coding task - just told it was good and started discussion on their dead project which was unrelated to job position but I've worked with that kind of thing so it was fine.
6. Trial Day Onsite - Gave me to draw a fucking BPMN chart - fuck you motherfuckers - I knew it was waste of time.
Fuck this kind of Hiring process which takes >1.5 month.9 -
Fuck you sideways stupid ass clowns of HR people.
If you don't want to hire me, it's okay. What is not okay it's to steal several days of my life with your idiotic multi-step interviews, telling me I did awesome and you'd like to hire me as soon as possible, then actively avoid any contact for three whole fucking weeks, just to finally tell me you've chosen someone else with a more prestigious degree but way less actual experience in the field. You'll come to me begging soon and I'll laugh in your faces.3 -
I'm managed by idiots who don't fully realize the nightmare they're creating.
They're making small operational changes, but hundreds of them with zero evidence to back their claims up.
When I bring up how it actually works, and how operations actually work I'm told I don't use the tools as much as management does and that my feedback is limited to how I use the tool.
So now I'm just gambling that they won't fuck up too bad before I get that sweet sweet sellout money and just letting them fuck everything up they want without any warnings from me.
I'm quickly learning that the phrase of the year is, "Fuck em". -
!dev
In the name of my partner: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FILTHY MUSHROOM ADDICT SLAVER! DAMN SUN OF A BITCH!
My partner does her obligatory internship for university. Guess what, the place where she is working offers no payment, 40h a week and even work unrealted to her studies!
She went there with pure enthusiasm and power and this whole non-sense facility of fucktards broke her. She lost her bliss and is really depressed now - mainly because of this fucktard, cock-sucking boss that has no fucking fire anymore and is abusing everyone there mantaly. If not for me she'd get not a songle positive feedback from this whole piece of junk which really, REALLY PISSES ME OF. FUUUCK. How can someone be such a joy sucking prick?
And the university?! They just don't give a fuck because they don't have enough employees to tackle all problems while at the same time their whole organization is the biggest pile if stinky, sleazy shit you have ever seen!! Omg.
Just had to get that out. Fuck.1 -
I've been healthy since spring. I follow all precautions. Now I've been diagnosed with covid, at Christmas and I feel like shit. I hope I don't lose my taste.
Realy, fuck me...8 -
Fuck sake, so my bank has been migrating/rolling out new IT system and app/site have been broken for about a week (others noted evidence of devs debugging in production)
Assuming I don't lose my money as some mischievous assholes will inevitably exploit the fuck up, and rob the bank, I will be moving my funds to a different bank...
In mean time I'm trying to prepare for uni, and they're making a ton of semi-random changes in addition to rolling out a site with course details and info along those line, and good fucking god is it bad.
Is is slow as fuck? Check. Does it use never-seen-before naming for standard things? Check! Is the UI pulled from late 90's? YOOU BETCHA! Are the pages bloated with unnecessary content? Fuck yeah! Do I get SQL exceptions when I finally locate my course? Of course I do. Does clicking "back" take me back to the landing page instead of previous page, when I'm several steps deep? .....
I could keep going, but don't feel like ranting and feel more like punching someone in the throat.repeatedly. -
Fucking hate when business people says this to me:
- You have no time to do this, we will find somebody else to do it. (EXCUSE ME? how do you know I have no time? If have no time I WILL TELL YOU)
- Your team is too busy, we will outsource that (IF THAT it's a priority, we WILL DO THAT, fuck you, I'll tell you if we need to outsource or not)
- Requirements are too complex to do now. We will think about it and we will tell you, maybe it's just enough to add a column to db (WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS too complex? I didn't even see anything we can call requirement, nor speak with relevant people, so how do you fucking know they are complex if you don't know shit about dev and our platform)
Conclusion
It's true, I have no time, because I don't fucking understand what do you want, so I'm running all day and night doing useless things.1 -
I fucking hate stupid accountants!
Yesterday we went to a customer to talk to the accountants because we want to remove one of their unused PC's in the office.
First, just the way they think (and talk if) they are the most important and it's absolutely critical everything works 100%. I see they are important but not 100 times more important than everybody else!
They called us their EDP-guys (EDV in German, that's the translation I found). That insulted me a bit. I'm rather called IT-guy, I don't know anything about the fucking EDP systems nor want I to. I'm there to make sure the hardware works. But whatever, fine, call me what you want.
Then they straight up threatened us, because their work is so important, they can't afford to have downtime in their systems. They don't really care, but the bosses of us both do and if we fuck up they (the bosses) will hold us responsible. There is a fucking update for your piece of shit software (datev)! I don't do the update, I'm just responsible that the update can be deployed on the hardware. I'm not responsible if this update fucks your system and frankly I don't care!
I could tell them all of this but they won't listen. They always talk in this patronising arrogant voice, because they are so important and we better don't fuck up the update.
I'm there to help. I don't want downtime for your systems. I want you to work with our systems the best you can.
But fuck you, I hope the server burns down!13 -
It's cool.
I have less than four weeks before I have to have my project production ready
But why not make me waste my time in useless web based fucking trainings for bullshit HR issues I'll never deal with.
"Don't give gifts of more than $100 to potential clients!" Shut fuck up I don't work with clients.
Piss off and let me do my job.1 -
The joys of Drupal.
Coworker: i can't hide this option from this select. it's been created programmatically by another module.
Me: doesn't that mean you defined it somewhere?
C: nope, the module does it with the whole taxonomy
M: can't you interact with it somehow,
C: i don't know
M: you don't know?
C: it's a module by the community, i don't understand it
M: *what the fuck.* ...fine. can you hide it with some js for now?
C: i tried no. they get loaded at different times from different behaviours.
M: then... what?
C: i don't know, i've been searching drupal.org for the whole morning to no avail.
M: *god. damn.* Create the select with something else, then? maybe by raw php?
C: that's bullshit! you don't create elements lile that in 2018! no one writes php or html anymore, unless he"s retarded!
Bloody hell. I'm not covering for this. My part is done (in rails) and i'll deliver it this afternoon. Not for this kind of delay. -
Something is really fucking wrong with people in my company. They fucking calling me after 5PM on Friday when the server is down. What part of my role you fuckers don't understand. I'm not a Network Engineer and I don't have fucking access to the fucking server.
Call the fucking Network Engineer. If his not picking up his phone then that's his fucking problem not mine.
(Bang the Table) Fuck this shit4 -
my staff got selected to go do something RETARDED on site when all restrictions on the city have been lifted and the fucking numbers of covid-19 cases have been rising, last week 4 people fucking DIED and they wanted to put my guys for some RETARDED SHIT THAT can be completely ignored in which they would deal with countless of RETARDS that as I know will probably be ignoring all safety precautions and getting everyone fucking SICK.
I don't give a fuck, my employees are high risk personell, if they get sick they might fucking die, I said no to fucking everyone and had the head of my department to back me up. Fuck this shit man I am so tired of this pandemic since it had made everyone 10 billion percent-o more retarded than they already were.
If the head of department ignores it I will instruct my people to just ignore that shit and don't make themselves present at that bullshit ass fucking event.
See what the fuck they do. I treat my employees as if they were my soldiers, I know what leadership is and they are not making me fucking budge, if your command is bullshit i will fucking say no and you can go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want with that shit, just based on my title and experience I can go where the fuck I want and you will eat dick.
Luckily for me the HOD is on the same boat, he thinks this shit is fucking stupid.4 -
Today is the day when I declare that I once and for all cancel all SJW-attracting topics.
Social relations is a hard topic and it seems like people just can't live together. There is always some group that oppress some other group.
Today I declare that I don't care about all this shit. It bothers me, it weakens me, it makes my health worse. Can I live like 60 more years (I'm keeping things real about my remaining time here) without touching SJW topics? I think I can.
My life would be different. I'm quitting acknowledging SJW topics existence, I'm quitting talking about them. They don't exist for me.
For now I'm planning to focus on art.
Fuck everyone who discriminate, also fuck everyone who fight discrimination with another kind of discrimination.13 -
I WANT TO SAY A BIG *FUCK YOU* TO SYNCFUSION FOR OFFERING NUGETS BUT NOT MAKING IT CLEAR THAT YOU NEED TO PAY AN $1,000 LICENSE TO GET ITS CONTROLS TO WORK SO YOU WASTE A LOT OF TIME WONDERING WHY THEY DON'T WORK, AND THEIR DOCUMENTATION IS THE SHITS, AND THEN 4 HOURS LATER YOU REALIZE THAT THE REASON THEY DON'T WORK IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN USING THE DEMO VERSION. SO, SYNCFUSION... *FUCK YOU* WITH ALL MY MIGHT. AND IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME *FUCK YOU* ONE MORE TIME!! BITCH!3
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Man, my product owner is so fucking annoying. I am 50/50 between two projects when really it feels like I'm 100/100 - and the PO of one of the projects always requests that I join daily stand ups and give updates.
CUNT.
I don't always have updates because I'm working with another team. Why are you trying to micromanage me you fuck face. Also, you know when you get those PO's that are totally useless and don't actually bring any real value to the project except in the capacity of being a slimey charismatic weasel? Yah, that's this person.4 -
I fucking hate malls.
People don't walk in any regular pattern or at the same speed. Full of smelly kids and their dumbstruck parents. I REALLY do not understand how some choose to spend their time at the mall as a recreational activity (other than going with a specific destination in mine, like the cinema). Whenever the circumstances force me to wonder around one for more than ten minutes, for me it's the equivalent of several hours of work, energywise.
Generally I hate people, but malls are the places where I hate them the most. Fuck!4 -
Alright... how the FUCK is an IP address considered personal data by GDPR????
Fucking boomers don't even know what an IP is. Guess what, every website you've ever been to has your IP! It's in your router, your fucking ISP's registry, and in every DNS server within 1000 miles of you!
Imagine thinking your IP gives up private information, god, just fuck me, I hate all of it, idiotic fools fumbling around with shit they don't understand.
...WKO making every developer's life a living nightmare because fucking GOOGLE FONTS stores a copy of your IP for their stupid analytics. You know what? Just don't use the internet either, that needs your IP too. In fact, don't pay taxes either, the tax office has a copy of your address, that's pretty personal information if you ask me! Just live in the woods and survive with the wolves.
I already know the future 'resolution' to this one - store fonts locally, resolve this dangerous "issue"... "waaaahhh fullStackClown! the site is slower now!!!"
...an infinite circle of clownshipness continues...
tune in next week as the world continues to approach it's circus fate!53 -
I've worked in a lot of customer service jobs and the more i have to deal with client, the more story starting to pile up. But something always come back and it's frustrating. The entitlement people have. I work as a Technical Support agent and for the most part i'm actually happy to help people with fixing their problems. But once in a while i always get that idiot that doesn't do anything i told him, blame me because "my fixes" don't work or just straight up don't listen to me and think they know better. Why the fuck do you call me if you need help if you're going to ignore everything i say and act like a fucking children. I'm not the one that call for technical support.
I know this place is more for Dev, but i'm sure those kind of things happen all the time when a client think he know more than the dev themselves...1 -
Youtube, I don't live in Slovenia. I'm nowhere near Slovenia. I don't know slovenian nor have I ever had anything to do with the country or the language.
Why the fuck did you decide to show me only slovenian ads for the last weeks?10 -
Employer uses IBM Software, which forces me to use Eclipse. I hate eclipse. Hate is a hard word. I'd never say, I really 'hate' a person. But eclipse, eclipse is what I hate. I can look at my smartwatch and see my heartrate rising, just thinking of how the fuck any developer on this crappy planet would ship that bullshit IDE. That saying, I'm totally fine with some bugs, using windows and so on, but eclipse... Is this a get-more-contributors strategy? Holy moly it really kills me. Hey, let's just open that maven Proj.. Oh, crash. Hey, let's install that "bug-free" version of the maven-integratio... Oh, crash. Let's do a global search over my worksp.. Oh, freezed. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How can this be legal? I mean, seriously, most junoir devs I know, just use Eclipse, because they don't know of any other "better" IDE (VIM would be better, even notepad). Is there anyone sucking professors cocks / vaginas to get them introduce that crap IDE to students?2
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Customers are so fucking stupid.
You're already on the page with a form with a "password" field and a fucking "save" button. WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING ME HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING PASSWORD???
FUCKING STUPID CUSTOMER WHY DON'T YOUR FUCKING KILL YOURSELF???
FUCK!2 -
Man fuck Facebook, log on hardly ever, feel caged by family who won't let me permanently leave, and when I do log on it's always something depressing shit.
My phone auto jumped me back to devRant and some ++ action and cool new rants...so much better, even with the down votes from the "I don't know what I'm doing here" crowd.5 -
Just got a new job at an old school hardware company. The codebase is giving me heart attack. They don't care about dev experience or code navigation at all. Every attempts to modernize the codebase is so half assed. All patches are so bloated that make the codebase even worse.
Frontend is migrated from prototype-oop-jquery cluster fuck to AngularJS, then finally angular. Holy moly, all business logics are baked into UI "classes" using prototype chain. When they migrated to AngularJS, someone simply added a wrapper to that jQuery cluster fuck class and overwrote all the prototype with a 10k +lines file. Since all the methods are hidden in either prototype, JS object, or callback function, it's impossible to trace the data pipeline using IDE when "go to definition" on update() method gives you all the update methods/string in all objects/classes. And they don't care about immutability. References are taken out, renamed, and mutated everywhere. Finding the source of a bug is fucking guessing game.
I don't know what trick they use that makes cLion static analyzer fail.
And there is no unit test or spec doc.
Fuck me dead3 -
* Teams meeting, doing some early testing with the client *
Dev Team: This is an early build, so please be aware that bugs can occur at this stage. (That's why we didn't want to show it but you insisted)
Client: Sure, don't worry.
* 15 minutes later, first bug happens because some state management at the front end was not tunned yet *
Client: Can you solve this bug?
Dev Team: Sure, just let us replicate it and we come back to you as soon as...
Client: Can you solve it now?
Dev Team: ... Okay, let us ser whats happening and we will come ba...
Client: You don't need to hang up, just solve it.
*Dev Team internal chat*
Me: Fuck
Other dev: Fuck
My leader at the time: Fuuuuuck
PS: This happened in two separate occasions. I hated that project.6 -
Dear employers, DO NOT FUCK WITH A PERSON'S DOCTORS. My doctors are paid to help me. If that means helping to sue your asses, they'll do it in a heart beat. Don't give them motivation.
My employer made dubious claims to my doctors in an occupational health referral. I've requested a copy of the referral. In the hopes I might not get a copy of the referral they've pushed this to my doctors as they don't want to give it to me. Because they've lied. Or they think I won't jump through the hoops to get access to MY OWN MEDICAL RECORDS.9 -
Lead-Dev: "These links don't work as they should, I'm having you fix them, 'kay?"
Me: "I'll have a look."
> The link doesn't do anything when you click on it.
My internal monologue: (The href is probably just wrong)
> It's not wrong.
Me: "What the fuck?"
Lead-Dev: "Can you fix it?"
Me: "I don't think I can."
Lead-Dev: "Why don't you try looking in thisScript.js?"
Me: "Oh, you think the click event got prevented or something?"
Lead-Dev: "No, I think something went wrong with what that script is doing with the jQuery library this site uses."
Me: "..."
Lead-Dev: "..."
Me: "jQuery... library...?"3 -
The question "are you busy" is the most loaded fucking BS question ever. If you answer and say you're busy you get told that you aren't that busy since you answeted the chat. If you don't answer the messenger blows up your shit asking many more times and possibly even fucking calls you.
If I don't answer, I'm busy go the fuck away. "But it was super important and I needed it fixed right away!" Ok, but when I answered your message just 4 minutes after your originally messaged me don't make me spend another 5 minutes asking for information you knew I was going to ask for and could have provided in one of your follow up messages (Client name, website, page with the problem, description of the problem). Also, don't tell me that it has to get fixed because I'm the one who made the mistake. It has to get fixed because it's wrong, it doesn't fucking matter who made the mistake.3 -
Dude I want to ask you , It's possible for me to call myself as a software engineer if I always got a cancer when I try to create HTML template ? I'm suck as fuck on front-end, I can't even create a single HTML template even if you give me help with css framework. I don't know what to do with HTML and CSS, they're totally fucked up my life.14
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WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)9 -
!dev but devRant has become "not dev" sadly.
Time to say bye to the racist kindergarden it has become!
How many more outdated country clichés can they possible come up with? "Thick Indian accent", "hard-working Nazi Germans" bla bla bla ...
If you're not interested in dev anymore why don't you join the European Parliament or a local pub where you can discuss your "ethnic" bullshit with other right-wing retards dreaming of remigration. Fuck you idiots, seriously!
/me logs off.6 -
Just now... Got a job to create patch files for a couple of jars, which may or may not have varying class files. In total, I have to decompile, check, add and synchronize about 30 class files in 6 jars with a new functionality (that I didn't write). 🙂
FUCK PRODUCTION! WHY CANT YOU MAINTAIN ONE MOTHERFUCKING JAR?
OH? YOU'RE SUPERSTITIOUS THAT ONE TINY, ANT-SHIT SIZED CHANGE IN ONE SIMPLE FUNCTIONALITY WILL FUCK UP *OUR* PRODUCT?
FUCK MANAGEMENT! YOU DON'T HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR *OWN* PRODUCT!
OH? CUSTOMER COMES FIRST? HAVE THE BALLS TO DEFEND YOUR OWN FUCKING SELF AND PRODUCT TO THE CLIENT OR THEY'RE GONNA MAKE YOU YOUR BITCH AND TIE A GAGBALL DIPPED IN HOT SAUCE AROUND YOUR MOUTH! HOW.. THE FUCK.. DID YOU MISS THAT LOGIC??????
Best part, they want it by tomorrow, and they don't wanna test it. Guess who's gonna get slaughtered after a week? ME! 🙂5 -
So fuck this. Fucking fuckers fuck this.
We've been having massive performance issues with a nested drag and drop component. I built this abomination about a year ago and had to rush through it due to my colleague not thinking the change was necessary, even though the previous revision was even worse. It's been going strong for a while, but since a month ago it has started to perform badly. Makes sense, because it was hacked together, and wasn't made for the amount of data that it's handling now.
So the other day I presented the issue to my colleague, telling him exactly what the problem was, and that we'll have to rewrite quite a bunch of the code to get it working. Today when I bring it up again he is really negative towards the changes because they are so big, and don't really want me to do them. He is, however, super stressed about the performance issues and starts digging around in the code himself. Code that he's never touched, don't understand how it works, and has said he's not interested in learning about. He even says he sucks at frontend and Vue himself. So we sit there from morning to lunch, digging through the code together (I had to do it as well because he came nowhere). And what do you think the conclusion was? The same thing I told him a few days ago.
So what now then? He still don't want me to do the changes, but still wants it solved! How the fuck is that supposed to happen?!?
Worst part is that we're the only two developers in the company, and our boss has little IT experience. That puts me and my colleague at the same hierarchical level, so all decisions has to be cool with the both of us.
So fuck this. Fucking fuckers fuck this.8 -
One of my interviews....
Interviewer: Do you know the welknown hack that increases the speed of embedded tomcat two times than default??
Me: what?? it even exists???
interviewer: yes... it exists... I know it... normally I share the answers with the interviewees... are you interested to hear the hack???
Me: Hell yeah...
Interviewer: ohh no... I will not share with you...
me: whyyy???
interviewer: I don't like your current boss...
Me: Fuck my life(inaudible)... facepalm..3 -
There is just one thing that's been haunting me.
One.
Thing.
That I have yet to succeed at doing.
One thing.
That I have yet to understand it's mazehole.
ONE THING.
That I failed me as a developer.
How in the FUCK do I create my own mail server with my own domain name? HOW? JUST FUCKING HOWWWWW
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SECRET!
WHAT AM I MISSING!!!!!
(no don't tell me about any of those office 365/GoDaddy/Windows bullshit, just guide me with something normal)8 -
Fuck college dude. My professor is a shit. I'm slow when it comes to instructions and some learning and so I don't usually get started as fast. Then after he decides to yell at me and tell me everything I'm doing is wrong he explains like I'm stupid and then fucking not even 30 seconds later asks me why im not 4 problems ahead with my paper.8
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FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !
You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?
Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"
What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.
What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.4 -
I've deliberately searched a tonne of tech related stuff so my Google feed shows me tech news, but just because I live in Australia in getting bombarded with shit about the royal family.... I don't give a fuck how you pronounce Louis, I just want news!1
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Need to implement something huge on a app that I'm working on.
The design team is not from my company.
All the design that I have is in a PDF that I can't extract the images and they are low res.
How the actual fuck do they expect me to do a good job if I don't even have the design and assets to work with -
MSbuild makes me want to blow my brains out.
I know it's no longer used in .NET Core and all the lucky people that don't have to deal with .NET Framework can happily move on.
But here I am, a complete idiot. Expecting MSBuild to build the exact same way from the CLI as it does if I run a build in Visual Studio. Expecting the build server to consistently produce the same result as if I built my solution locally.
Demanding meaningful earnings and error messages that don't leave me completely perplexed as to what's actually going on in the compiler.
Fuck me and fuck .NET Framework. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.8 -
Why every day I have to fight for a charger cos the manager needs his phone on a constant charge from a power socket.
Fuck you and no I don't care that your shits gonna die now and yes, every fucking day we're doing this, don't fuck with me. My laptop > your phone and your ingress game2 -
A guy living next to my house came to me and told me to install Linux on their computer. Being a Linux lover, I was happy to see him switch. I installed Elementary OS Loki, installed nicest theme and conky I had. After tons of other tweaks and customization, I gave it to him, motherfucker told me this is not Linux and what he wanted. He wanted Kali, don't know what the fuck he was going to do with it. This piece of shit wasted my time,3
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How can people don't even fucking try to see if there is a better way?
Fuck, I'm constantly even trying to improve my fucking bath routine for fucks sake and these brainless monkeys are gonna be stuck forever with fucking "right click-copy right-click paste instead of keyboard shortcuts" ( just an analogy )
Fuck that makes me angry...2 -
Why Gmail. Why the fuck do your search parameters, especially your date filters, not work anywhere near as expected.
You make me have to query and test, query and test, just, randomly fucking guessing because, fuck it, right?
With a good 10 second refresh time. I love twiddling my thumbs and pulling my hair out.
after:2018/11/1 should produce emails from Nov 1st onward.
Not, TODAY ONLY, if no other parameters are
specified.
If there's a from: parameter, now we want to do after Nov 1st, right?
And also, don't show me how to sort in reverse order, either. Not without a complete rewrite of my class there, which clearly I'm too lazy to do right now.
Fuck the Gmail Api, responsible for weeks of wasted dev time... or more aptly put, "fuck devs using our gmail api" says the maniacal, sociopath devils that created it
fuckers.1 -
GWT.
Let me explain:
Tl;dr : someone fucked up, I took shit, it was a gwt project. In a sense I don't hate GWT because of the framework itself but because how I was introduced and forced to "work" with it.
Context:
Was working as a paid intern at a small company there were 3 devs 2 interns and one senior employee that only worked from home handling the shit ton of legacy VB6 code he wrote over several year and a boss with no technical knowledge. (Other unimportant people as well)
I was working with their DBA (cool dude) because I was writing statistic and report generating software.
Story:
The other intern was tasked of doing a gwt app that was supposed to use a input file.
Rather than asking the user to upload it with a file picker (I guess they exist in gwt I didn't got to dig in the framework) he was trying to load the file with a http request directed at the same host the app was running on.
It did not work.
Then his contract was other and the app was left in an unfinished state.
The boss then tried to have the app deployed, the remaining dev dodged the bullet invoking some bullshit because he was clearly incapable of doing it.
So it fell on me, couldn't deploy the app because it was not even close to working.
Tried to fix things and make it work.
Turns out he thought it would take me 3h to deploy when I clearly explained that the other guy didn't finish the app.
Boss got mad, threatened to ruin my studies and my future career.
Couldn't because my uni had my back.
Didn't want to see me anymore.
Couldn't break my contract.
Told me to work from home for the end of my internship.
I got 3 weeks early vacation and got paid, fuck him, fuck GWT, fuck his company.
Still got well marked for the internship as my supervisor was the DBA who was happy with my work.
Morality:
Don't let your intern unsupervised, don't let your main dev work from home when you don't know shit, don't piss me off and send me work from home. -
Damn, this delicate 15.6" piece of plastic I call my laptop is the reason I have to tolerate stupid curious college-mates. Whenever I open it, everyone is like woah dude, you are a coder! does it have porn ? or games ?
yeah mann fuck you . its 2018 , I don't play pc games and I can watch porn online . can you fucktards just leave me alone and let me work ?
Why don't we have cheap laptops with good specs but smaller screens? like 7" or 9"
fucking CSE college pervs acting like babies :/5 -
These are the programmers who I had encountered and detest intensely:
1. Programmers who addicted to take other programmers' failure as an achievement.
2. Programmers who are overly arrogant. (Hey just because you know something , that don't make you a God)
3. Programmers who stealing my code without crediting me, and yet he got paid.
4. Programmers who discourage new developers.
5. Programmers who can't take criticism (Once I told a dev that his code is not clean as he decided to name the variable like __fuckingFuckingFuckningVar = "Fuck"; , he yelled at me that i am a MF. Which it's completely childish in my opinion, as a software engineer, I think programme a clean code for easy maintain and understandable for others, it is a responsibility.)
6. Programmers who compare me with others.
7. Programmers who are not friendly. (Don't be like Stackoverflow).13 -
Well today I feel like shit so I called in sick. Found out the lead developer called in sick as well.
The thing is, there was something really important to be done today that he fucking new that if he was not to be there I was going to get shit from everyone. He is going through some shit right now and I get it, so I would normally cut him some slack.
But fuck man, at some point you got to man the fuck up and deal with your job, if anything do it for your fucking coworkers/friends. He fucking new that I was going to get a fuckload of bullshit over something that he takes care of.
Nevermind that there are only 2 fucking developers for the entire fucking campus(2 campuses actually) and we were told last friday that we were needed. Normally, one would put up with the bullshit and make a presence, but that one of us is always me. Today I said fuck it, its too cold, don't feel good and I don't want to take my daughter to the daycare.
Today I sit at home, go over my OS books, play Skyward Sword with my daughter, watch movies with her and I don't think about work for one second.
On another note, the reason why I need to go through my OS books is that a good portion of my masters degree(which I am to start on August) covers OS development, it seems that the entire curriculum will be C/C++ galore which makes me FUCKING STOKED! finally a break form web development that I can probably use to get me out of web development professionally as well.9 -
YOU CAN'T, POSSIBLY, BE SERIOUS WITH ME! FUCK, FUCK IT ALL!
THOSE DAMN ENGINEERS WITH A DEGREE AND ALL CAN'T PUT A FUCKING IF IN THE DAMN CODE!
I'M RESTARTING THE DAMN THING, I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE! FUCK! UPDATE THIS SHIT WHEN I HIT THE SHUTDOWN BUTTON AT LEAST!15 -
What the fuck is clients' problem? This woman comes to me after one of the last bids I saved and spent on her stupid task! She asked me to come on skype and I said I didn't have the ID and maybe we can go ahead with a phone call or whatsapp call or even Google hangout! She stopped responding to my messages when I had sent her 3 options! It's not like I was willing to back out but hey, I DON'T FUCKING USE SKYPE ANYMORE! What a waste of my precious last but one bid!15
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That feeling you get when you write code so complicated, that a few weeks later, even with tutorial-level documentation, you don't know whats going on, so you just rewrite from scratch.
Yeah that just happened to me.
No time for deep work to re-grok what the fuck I was working toward, so I just rewrote the core of it to relearn the entire process.
Had comments, documentation, step-by-steps. Still the ability to understand and reason about it noped-the-fuck-out of the building apparently.
Might have had something to do with zero sleep three days in a row and too much red bull.
Sleep-deprived me operates on a whole different plane of existence.14 -
hey... can I build a FUCKING android image that uses a camera library?
react-native-camera: deprecated, no longer maintained
react-native-vision-camera: it's like globalthermonuclear war with versioning and patches and support and splat splat bullshit in that repo, don't even dare look at the issues there, trust me, please
react-native-camera-kit: doesn't compile for targetSdk 33, no matter what the FUCK you do
jesus christ i want to scan a fucking QR code with my app and my gradle configs have turned into world war III where the fuck did we go wrong folks8 -
Why the hell people like Quora?
I hate that it forces me to sign in. I won't, because it makes no sense. Fuck it, my time is precious, don't play with it.
StackExchange is doing great by leaving information free for everyone and even allowing them to interact without an account.6 -
What the FUCK is wrong with people!!!??
If you need to use !important in your CSS.... STOP and just don't.
It should be very clear that if the need arises to use !important then you are either really shit at CSS and don't understand the concept or you are a lazy mother fucker.
I'm so fucking sick of dealing with other so called "developers" shit code and have to spend time I don't have fixing their shit.
There is absolutely no reason to use
!important and to anyone that thinks to be a smartarse and let me know of their shit reasons... just don't because there aren't any.4 -
A school-related rant:
Went to my school yesterday to get my computer science degree, aaaand....
Surprise! You got a degree in Liberal Arts! Even though when you graduated, it said Computer Science and thought they already fixed the problem about me graduating with Liberal Arts instead of CS! Nope! Still Liberal Arts!
Sigh, fuck that school. I'm sure when my wife finds out about it, she'll definitely flip out and make me fix this, because she also spent time for me to finish school and get a stupid degree. I just don't wanna deal with it anymore and instead keep learning on my own, make projects, and be so good that employers can't ignore me.7 -
Why the fuck are you making me put in my email to look at a computer desk? I saw an ad and was curious about it and the price, so I clicked the ad. I don't give a shit and don't actually plan to buy anything, just let me look asshats.
Shit like this is why you have an email inbox with 650,087 emails about a fucking privacy policy update.2 -
This is 1:05AM and this is the 3rd time I start over my question to Stack Overflow because I don't know what the fuck is going on with jQuery UI, and when I finally get it, Google finds me both the question and the answer of the same and only dude that had the same problem than me FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO and he couldn't solve it.
Fuck this, tomorrow I'll start over with VueJS.3 -
Really? You want me to install you an old windows release because "you don't understand the new one"?
What don't you understand? Fucking square buttons? Basic color palletes? Big fat icons with a description below?
What do you miss in a ten years old shitty OS? The need of three antiviruses? The satanic settings layout? Lack of any drivers?
You have a family, you're making them too experience all the security breaches, all the compatibility problems with thing are a "must have" today, and all the slow performance.
Fuck you. Please, please, please, go fuck yourself with your trashy laptop's burnt battery. Pretty please. I already hated you, but now it's out of the charts.
PS: Actually, fuck myself with your crappy laptop's batteries, because my girlfriend told me to help you, and I can't say no, so see you in two weeks, when porn ads are invading your desktop and you're ready to blame me.6 -
Will these fucktards just FUCKING FIX EDUROAM! alright it's a WiFi network that works across the globe and there's challenges with that BUT DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO MANUALLY RECONNECT EVERY random amount of time!!! I'll shove that fucking MSCHAPv2 down you fucking throats with that sweet sweets PEAP sauce bloody arseholes.
What do you fucking mean it works fine? NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T! Get your shit together and at least handle DHCP leases correctly and make them not expire every fucking minute!!
Also, how the flipping fuck does connecting to the eduroam VPN from within fucking eduroam make it more stable? Only ever so slightly though. Incompetent pieces of dick sucking craptards don't make me have to bring out the ethernet jack EVERY FUCKING TIME at school for christ's sake.
No, it doesn't make it my problem because I'm running Linux. Look on the Internet. The forums are fucking filled with people having issues and your docs are from 5 years ago so please kindly FUCK Off!!!15 -
First Happy new year, now lets get put on the dancing shoes... (I have another one coming, but this one is fresh)
As a PHP developer (yeah I am and I like it, if you gonna hate on me... go fuck yourself) I expect to not be required to reinvent the wheel when I have to use something that is not too mainstream (in my case was producing JSON and XML HAL responses). Now there are 2 (fairly active and somewhat mature), one of which does not produce XML responses, so off I went with the other one, but for fucks sake it does not produce XML that is compliant with the (draft)RFC (https://tools.ietf.org/html/...)
So as I need that, I decided to write one myself, since extending the one that provided XML would've been a waste of time, since it is NOT documented and for some reason depends on about 4 packages (also developed by the same maintainer), why the whining you ask, eh? Well fuck this shit. It took me 2(+2 classes) to achieve everything (according to standard as far as I can tell) + went with using a "hydrator" as opposed to reflection (the lib used reflection and didn't care too much for the access modified on the property of the object being serialized) so got a pretty solid performance boost, cleaner and simple code (I wrote it for a few hours and it is ugly, but hey KISS and it works perfectly)...
So with the more ranty part of this rant... Why the fuck so many people don't write independant packages for the simple parts... I don't hate it when I need a package and end up downloading half of the codebase of symfony or whatever fancy framework the dev decided to use, wasn't it the point of having 'package managers' (composer, npm, etc.. you get the deal..) instead of promote our projects and not force others to use our favorite framework that is absolutely out of scope for their projects...
Fuck you, fuck me and fuck everybody... If this continues I will continue writing my own packages from scratch, because "you" asshole are too lazy to learn and apply SOLID and common sense; even if your life depends on it you cannot write a meaningful piece of code without "the fancy framework of the month" holding your hand and allowing you to continue being a dumbass that has enough brain cells to walk straight and remember that you have to go to the toilet and not shit all over the place....
FML.... Fuck this shit and that is the main reason my gears grind the most when I head "you should use *framework name* instead" or "don't reinvent the wheel", fuck that guy I refuse to work my ways around a framework in order to get things done, my boss aint happy for that shit you know, I don't get paid to deal with your crappy code or uninformed opinion..3 -
This pisses me off soooo fucking much.
"We're sowwy but we'll have to ask you to turn off your pretty little adblocker! We can't keep making money off of you by showing you stuff you don't want to see if you don't turn off your adblocker! But it's okay, who doesn't use an adblocker? Just turn it off for our site pleeeease"
Quit it with the quasi-friendly bullshit. If it's okay, why don't you fuck off and let me block whatever I want to block? It's ridiculous how many hoops I have to jump through just so I don't have to see ads on the internet. Even pi-hole doesn't help with this anymore. Now I need an Ad Blocker Blocker Blocker just so I don't have to wade through heaps of obnoxious ads every time I visit a page. It's so goddamn stupid.10 -
My tech debt meltdown is happening right now. We are releasing our huge micro service based product next week with no automated testing of any sort. Our front end clients are relatively DRY. No tests and dry = can't change anything = hacks on top of hacks.
Why? Team lead won't listen to me and has beaten me down so I don't care anymore. If it's broken fuck it.2 -
So Yay just asked me to replace pulseaudio with pipewire. I was hesitant because I have meetings to attend and I don't want to have to fuck around with my audio config once again.
But it simply works.
PipeWire can replace pulseaudio simply by uninstalling pulse and installing pipewire-pulse.
Next I'll see if it can replace JACK as easily. If so, if I no longer have to juggle two fundamentally incompatible audio servers to do audio processing, then FOSS has just solved one of the greatest obstacles in its path to reach feature parity and performance superiority to Windows.6 -
Call me crazy all you want, but I love my tangled mess of cords
Yeah yeah, I know, I know, wouldn't I just love a cordless setup and workspace ...
NO
Bluetooth devices are at best unreliable and at worst don't even work with Linux
I want to just be able to plug my shit in and work, not wait for everything to sync and hope I don't have connectivity issues
Call it living in the past all you want, I don't care. I love my cords
Fuck you and your bluetooth shit2 -
I'm so fucking done with all the hate the modern web is getting. If you don't need it, don't use it. Shut the fuck up if somebody else uses it, because he needs it.
And that whole war between libraries is so fucking ridiculous. Why do I have to feel bad for using a tool that does exactly what I want, and provides me a great dev experience.
No I am not going to use a stack of 4 technologies because "native is faster". Fuck you. I don't care, and you shouldn't either.
I shouldn't even have the need to rant about this, but I'm just in this constant rut, because I feel like no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong. I hate it.4 -
All i want to do is write code. Give me time, space, and stop bothering me so often and I can fix the shitty outsourced code. I can do it, really. I can write a ton of resdesign docs and improve so much shit. But I can't do ANY OF IT BECAUSE THESE FUCKS ARE ALWAYS PAWNING OFF WORK ONTO ME AND REFUSING TO LET ME GET MY HANDS DIRTY.
Stop asking me to email people. Stop asking me to update documentation that isn't for my features. Stop bothering me. Stop. Fucking. Bothering. Me. All. The. Goddamn. Damn.
Stop it stop it stop it fucking stop. I don't care about the PM's dumbfuck braindead statements and always wanting to pick a fight with me. I don't care that x environment is down. I don't care that your shitty overseas programmers can't tell their own ass from their head. I do care that I have the skills to fix it if you would give me the fucking time and space.
Instead of having me do all the mundane tasks that your shitty ape programmers could do overseas, let me have some fucking room to breath and I can fix this shitty fuck of a project and Maybe I can save it before it collapses on itself you dumb fucks
Holy shit im pissy today4 -
Ok people. I got a contract last year with a company, and I was their support for one year, which ended back in February. They still email me for all their problems. I don't know why. They emailed me today, for Christ's sake, on the Saturday of Easter, to tell me that their 3rd party software can't send them emails because the mailserver has that IP on greylist asking me to look into it and find a solution. AS IF I CARE! I'm with my family, taking a break for two days damn it. Panic attack came, my heartbeat rate problem kicked in and now I can't calm down. I'm trying to get into the "I don't give a fuck" mood but I can't, I'm too responsible for that, in the worst dramatic way (the world is gonna end etc).
Piece of advice:
Be very clear next time you come to terms with another company, be precise and don't let them have it their way.8 -
Good fucking lord, what the fuck is happening with dev recruitment these days. I do get that the technologies go forward, but me being a 13+ years as dev, i am able to learn new shit, pretty easily. BUT NOPE, if you say in the interview that you don't know stuff, then they never call you back.
I worked as a senior fullstack for the past fucking 5-6 years on remote, but most probably i will be forced to move to another city and work as a junior.
Fuck also that my wife is pregnant second time and this time ther is a high risk of misscariege. So i need to work at home and also somehow look after my kid and wife. Nope, according to every hr ever FUCK THAT.4 -
Every god damn time I have to interact with windows I hate it more and more. I sold my old Dell PC, and said I'd install Win10 on it for the dude.
It's now been 2 hours of me trying to figure out why the Win10 installer complains about missing drivers, and trying to figure out exactly what drivers are missing, because they sure as absolute fuck don't tell you.
"A media driver your computer needs is missing. This could be a DVD, USB or Hard disk driver. If you have a CD, DVD, or USB flash drive with the driver on it, please insert it now."
Well how the fuck am I supposed to know what driver you need? The least helpful error message in the history of computing....11 -
After spending my entire holiday vacation fucking around with the one language that really digs with my state of mind (Ruby) when developing and having to do some quick troubleshooting on 2 of our applications (Java and PHP respectively) I can honestly say: I legit don't want to go back to that ever again.
But money means more to me than my own personal biases. I have delved in some of the most HATED platforms that developers could normally ask for in terms of work. And have only done some very basic (fucking obnoxiously basic) consulting in terms of Rails, to the point that it might not be even worth putting on a cv. But fuck me man, if I could just fuck around building rails solutions for a living, from the frontend to the backend, I think I would for once be happy with the things that I work with with things more than monetary pleasure.
Y'all know your boy, I ain't no neckbeard, but I fuck with things that a lot of others don't, to me Lisp dialects and Smalltalk are gifts from dev heaven, and I have thrown out Clojure in production (my app is still chugging along just fine at work thank you very mucho) but in terms of pure web development, I have never been happier than when I generate a rails project and start tinkering around.
Sigh.......here is to hoping that maybe I will eventually open my own rails shop.6 -
FML I am an idiot.. might end up in a rant here (well deserved!!) //if you are here reading this I'm so sorry again!!
I wrote to our support I need DP/HDMI cable.. they asked me to take a pic of the cable I'm currently using.. WTF?! Don't you know how connectors look?! Just get me the damn cable.. :/
Ok.. Took a picture.. sent it back.. At that time I still didn't see the problem with what I wrote/demanded..
Got back reply this is not HDMI connector... FML, I was so convinced computer had HDMI ports so even when I took the pic I wasn't paying attention.. Fuck.
And before when I was switching cables behind the computer below desk I was just blindly feeling around, it didn't even occurr to me to actually check what connectors are used..just knew both monitors had the same connector (and not aure why I thought HDMI :/)...so yeah, I'm the idiot who is not paying attention to stuff.. Fuck.. Was on a scavanger hunt for a wrong type of cable the whole time.. Sorry again!! And please don't kill me next time you see me.. o.O1 -
By the way, for anyone that gets a "lol" from me, I really mean I'm laughing out loud. I don't like being dishonest with these stuff.
Like when I'm in classes and message something funny to a classmate and he replies "rofl", I really expect him to be rolling on the floor laughing but fuck, he's there sitting with a perfect pose without even a smirk on his face. Next time you rofl at me, motherfucker, I expect you to be rolling in the floor. ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.
So appreciate my lols please. I mean them. I lol in the subway, my car, in classes and the bathroom. I'm sincere with them.6 -
Unpopular opinion.
TOML sucks
* it does not claim to care about indentation but it actually does
* nested datastructures are a nightmare, especially 'inline' for 'readability'
* oh fuck me everything must be "double quotes"
* booleans always lowercase, there is no "truthy" here.
* Tables are not intuitive at all.
And all this from working with it first time because I had the silly idea to modernize a python project to use pyproject.toml
Oh and don't get me started on pyproject.toml files. The documentation sucks!6 -
I'm so sick and tired of people feeling threatened when improving upon their shitty code! I'm here to do a job and I enjoy my profession.
Don't take that away from me by wasting my time making me say every fucking time that I come from a good place and that I just want to provide a better solution AND not create fucking mess that will have to be rewritten when some ninja bugs occur because of completely unmaintainable crap nobody can understand. Holy shit!
I couldn't care less if you're 10 years in the company. I see that all the good devs left after dealing with your shit every God damn day.
I'm not here to deal with your insecurities and couldn't care less about pointing fingers! I just wanna do better and not write same level of quality over and over again!
You're not getting bonus points from me by sitting on your ass all day and half-assing everything you do with some lame ass excuse.
So no LGTM from me when it's utter error prone shit!
So if you don't wanna help, just get the fuck outta my way and don't waste my time! Jeeez -
Short angry rant
What the fuck is wrong with the SalesForce Authenticator logic?! How in the hell do you fuck up a simple 2FA system this hard?!!
Login -> Waiting for Notification... nothing... -> Reload Page -> Login -> Waiting for Notification... nothing -> Click "Use Code instead"... nothing happens... -> Reload Page -> "Login -> don't even wait for notification and just pres "Use Code instead"... nothing -> Reload Page -> Notice there's a "Use Code" button on this page as well -> Finally be able to log into the fucking Aloha piece of shit...
How TF is it, that Duo is able to send me a push notification within 1 second and it ALWAYS works... and THIS FUCKING SHIT NEVER FUCKING WORKS THE FIRST TIME AND AT WORST JUST DOESN'T WORK AT ALL!!!!!
Fucking hell.... Don't offer me a push notification service if you don't know how to make one... jesus fucking christ... All of Salesforce security is fucking stupid, but at least the others mostly work, but this retarded piece of crap is making me actively surprised when it works on first try... Maybe it's because I'm on a slow connection, but again Duo Mobile doesn't have this problem and works *instantly*... so what sort of retarded monkey coded the SF one I don't know, but I hope they are making better products now, because this is a disgrace to programming and security6 -
I just want to get fucking home... This is the second flight canceled... NO I DONT WANT TO GET IN A FUCKING HOTEL AND FLY TOMORROW...
Excuse me sir your flight was canceled.... SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING SLUT
DON'T EVER FLY WITH THOSE FUCKTARDS3 -
That moment when first coding challenge is a mathematical expression evaluator with custom unary operators but your code does not meet the standard because it did not cure cancer.
The fuck you mean I had no unit tests. You specifically told me that you don't want a lot of code. F@$#&#k -
who else hates recruiters/ recruiting companies? I have been looking for work a while now and my inbox is inundated with "senior" level roles asking for 7+ years experience in every language imaginable. I have only been at this going on 3 years now and definitely don't consider myself senior by any means but do aspire to get there some day. But how the fuck am I supposed to do that if no one will give me experience?? Rant over11
-
https://ibm.com/support/home/...
What the actual fucking fuck? I've spent almost two days debugging this motherfucking piece of shit.
So.
YOUR BIOS HAS A WINDOW WITH A DROP SHADOW SO VERY COOL OF YOU IBM, BUT YOU CAN'T GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WHEN IT COMES TO BOOTING.
I mean, what's the fucking logic? I don't fucking need a nice interface to my BIOS. No one fucking does when it comes to server hardware.
This is it for me. Fuck IBM. Fuck it hard. I really hope Oracle buys you.3 -
Every single time I present a tool for data visualization:
"Oh that's great! Have you considered integrating it with service XYZ? It would be great to see the data from XYZ alongside this."
The answer I would like to give:
"No, you retard! Nobody gives a fuck about your crappy service! Nobody uses it, not even your own team! This is the 10th service that I've been asked to integrate and I don't have time to dig into the details of yet-another-shit. If you have time to waste, please go ahead but don't bother me."2 -
After spending weeks fucking around with Pharo Smalltalk building different web services....I don't want to go back to using other languages anymore.
fuck me....I got hit by Pharo really hard.9 -
FUCK YOU PHP, FUCK YOU SYMFONY AND DEFINITELY FUCK YOU SHOPWARE.
Don't get me wrong, PHP has evolved a lot, but the stuff people are building with it is just the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen: Shopware. Shopware is the most ass-sucking abomination to extend. It's nearly impossible to develop anything beyond "use the standard features and shut the fuck up" that is more sophisticated than a fucking calculator.
The architecture of this pile of crap is the worst bullshit ever. A mix of OOP, randomly making use of non OOP concepts and features together with the unnecessarily HUGE amount of useless interfaces and classes. Sometimes I feel like it's 90% fucking shitty boilerplate shit.
And don't get me started with TWIG. It's a nice thought, but WHY THE BLOODY FUCK WOULD YOU NOT USE VUE IF YOU ARE ALREADY USING IT FOR A DIFFERENT PART OF SHOPWARE. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever and makes development of new features a huge pain in the ass. I can't comprehend how people actually like using this shit.
OH AND THE DATABASE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This one is bad. Ever tried to figure anything out in a database where random strings (yes MySQL "relational" - you might think) that are stored as text in a JSON format make up some object or relations during runtime?? Why the fuck do you have foreign and primary keys if you don't use them properly??
Seriously you can't even figure out which data belongs to what because the architecture just sucks fucking ass. FUCK YOU Shopware wankers, you suck, your product sucks, your support sucks, your architecture sucks and you keep releasing new versions that regularly break shit even in minor versions.
I used to like PHP, but not in projects like these.7 -
Project requirements include a database. I don't have permissions to create a new database on the server, so I go to the person that spins up new servers and deals with group policy. They rustle some papers around, looking aggravated, throws up hands and says, "I guess I'm the DBA now..." Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do shithead? Ask the web team to do it? We don't have a DBA. My boss has been gone all week and, really, this isn't a hard task. You check a fucking box.
Whatever, I'll remember this when they need a favor from me.6 -
I am a web app developer by profession and software engineer by qualifications but when there is a problem with router, firewall or a server needs to be setup, whether internal or for client, all my employer can see is me. Sometimes i get too tired of this shit. Also I am expected to work at home during night as if I don't have any life outside this field. I need to enjoy my life with I am young. I am twenty and stuck. Fuck it.4
-
Loosing faith...
Interesting question.
I don't think skills have something to do with faith.
If you don't know something, ask someone who does.
Even If I cannot solve a problem or deem a problem unsolvable, I usually don't doubt myself.
There are rare moments where I throw a fit, but that's not loosing faith, thats just being angry because my stubborn thick skull cannot make sense of it, which annoys me.
Might sound cocky, but in my opinion dev skills are not "do or die". Problem could be solved at a later time, maybe never. Who cares?
Loosing faith would mean to me that I define myself in some way on the ability to solve sth that doesn't have to be solved at all.
XD
After all, if it doesn't work, I don't give a fuck.
*Cheers*. -
Happened to me a while ago:
co-worker: don't use (C++) templates so your colleagues who aren't as smart as you don't have such a hard time understanding your code.
me: said the guy who uses macros all over the place.
co-worker: macros have been around for years and you can expect one to understand those.
me: *tempted to start a discussion about C++ with one who started programming with C like 20 years ago and who doesn't give a fuck about learning new things*... You're right!4 -
Dear classmates,
I know our school is shitty as hell, that there is a fucking monitor missing and cables flying around.
BUT DON'T DARE TO LIE TO ME AGAIN. "Can you please move one to the right you're blocking the chair and we want to sit together". YES I KNOW. BUT DO YOU HAVE SEEN, THERE IS A FUCKING COMPUTER MISSING, MAYBE THAT'S WHY I AM SITTING HERE, NOT BECAUSE I'M DUMB AS FUCK AND DON'T SEE I AM BLOCKING A CHAIR!
"We can change later, but we want to sit here for now"
OH YEAH I KNOW. LIKE THE 20 OTHER TIMES YOU LIED TO ME WITH THAT IT'S JUST TEMPORARY. And then you come with come on don't be so childish and your friends start doing so too. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ONE TIME ON MY FUCKING PLACE AND STOP ANNOYING ME AS HELL JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE FOLLOW YOU AND LET ME JUST SIT AT MY FUCKING PLACE.
I AM NOT CHILDISH, I AM JUST NOT BELIEVING IN THESE LIES. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SIT THERE TEMPORARY? IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE...3 -
I inherited some code today. I am in the process of reworking it to drop into my framework so I can use it with our product. I am seeing this throughout the code...
try:
\do something\
except:
pass
Ahem... HANDLE YOUR DAMN EXCEPTIONS!!! DON'T JUST PASS THEM INTO THE BLACK HOLE OF NOTHINGNESS! FFS!!! Using pass like this means "Fuck it. I don't care if this fails and I want NOTHING to tell management when it does. I want to blindly look into their frustrated eyes and say ..duhh, I don't know why it failed... Fuck troubleshooting. You know what, this job isn't meant for me anyways." My outer voice is politely saying "There is a better way to do this. Please allow me to show you." Meanwhile my inner voice is flipping tables and clubbing baby seals. /rant -
I want to cry... Fuck it.. shiit. .. :( :( ;(
Wasted half of the Weekend to Setup MySQL on my vServer which uses ssl encryption, have specific User and so on.
Thought: well, the User mysql is not so good as a Name. Drop it, you don't need it.
What did I? Instead of Drop User mysql , I typed Drop Database mysql.
Fuck that fucking Shit. I'm so sad right now. Broked the complete MySQL Database. Nothing is working anymore. And the server is new, I've Just made One Backup. Deleted this a few hours ago.. also accidently.
Help me :( Shit :( so sad :( Now, I don't have Motivation anymore to work with the vServer :(3 -
I just love code-golf, I only started recently, but sometimes it's nice to fuck all coding conventions, missuse lazy evaluation and abuse scope leaking.
I'm normally really tidy with formating and whitespace placement, but code-golf is also a testing field for uncommen constructs and I think it can give deeper insights into a language.
I don't like languages specifically for code-golf though, these are just stupid and no fun (at least for me).1 -
Facebook API is the most cancerous API to ever exist!
Complicated as fuck for no reason.
Don't get me started on WhatsApp API.
In the end I managed to make it work with my bot, but dude did that take a lot of time.
Using Twitter API and Discord API on the other hand was way easier.12 -
-Week before final project presentation.
Classmate: Dude, can you help me for our project? Its website.
Me: Sure, what you used?
Classmate: ASP. NET
Me: Ok....I don't know much about it but let me see.
Classmate: No, I just want your help with flowchart, sequence diagram and use case diagram.
Me: ..................
*in mind: how the fuck m supposed to do that shit I don't even know much about your website*
(still I drew few basic flowcharts for them) -
Fuck the EU.
Their privacy laws fucking suck and don't even get me started on their braindead cookie law.
I think we should be able to make laws for them and not just them making laws for us.
First order of business is that by law all EU bureaucrats must have "I'm a fucking moron, punch me in the face to accept." tattooed to their foreheads in large bold letters with the rest of their face in intricate detail tattooed explaining what a fucking moron is so to educate their subjects.9 -
I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.2 -
Microsoft :
"YOLO All Devops pipeline are now .net 8"
Me, lunching PROD release : "Whatever, I don't use any advanced shit"
Pipeline : "Can't connect to your nuget soure (private) : 401"
Me : What ? You just connected to it in prevous step in pipeline !
Azure : Yah, but prev st ep was using different syntax so it worked
Me : Ok, here you go, same syntax
Azure : Still nop.
Me : WHY ?!!!
Azure : I won't tell you. 401 !!
Me : Fuck you, I 'll rewrite this step from scrath !
30 mins later
Azure : Naaaan, stil 401.
Me : HOW ?!!! You literally use this nuget feed in 2 prev steps with no issues.
Azure : Fuck you
Me : fuck you too.
15 mins later
me to me... Hmm, I've already restored all packages. They "should" stay where they are..
Me : Take that azure : Ignore restoring for this step"
Azure : Oh yeah, that works ! All compiled !
WTF ?!!!! And why they release cha ges without even sending a mail. because fuck us apparently.
God I hate devops.... -
jesus christ a fucking company funded at 110 million A seed round can't figure out why i'm still getting charged despite the fact that I unsubbed in fucking april
...and they're using stripe!
i've been using stripe with my SaaS for 3 years and never had an issue with a single customer - if they don't unsub themselves, they email me and ask me to do it for them, done.
fuck the world fuck everyone
i just really don't have the motivation or inspiration to do anything anymore
call it ego but this isn't fucking rocket science8 -
holy fuck, UFOs are now moving to the "mainstream discourse"?????
yes, just like AI, world's ending, all the jobs are gone!!!
just like covid (remember that one?) world's over, we all died!
let me repeat it for you:
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
what the fuck went wrong with the vast majority of people along the way????
i'm going to the mountains, i'll be back...
never
inb4 "have some creativity fullstackclown!" "isn't it cool to think about?!"
shut up, using your fucking head that is a result of millions of years of evolution seems much more exciting than taking 4 grainy ass videos as truth and getting hyped up about it
show me a shred of valid evidence and i'll believe. however, evidence does NOT include:
- some big wig CLAIMING or SAYING they exist, regardless of their credentials - i don't care if fucking honest abe lincoln himself rises from the grave and says UFOs are real
- a photo or video that looks like it was taken in the 1920s6 -
My conversation with Avalara support (API for taxing):
Me: Hey I'm implementing your API for a client. The requests are going through, I get a valid response back but all goods are taxed with $0. Can you please give me a hint what I might be missing?
Sup: You're using Salesforce Commerce Cloud, requests might be blocked through their firewall
Me: I don't think so, here are some sample requests and responses I just created. The object returned matches the one in your API Doc.
Sup: This isn't a system controlled by us, no support.
Me: So how in the world can it be you don't control your own endpoint?
Seriously, if you don't want to help, next time just say fuck you...5 -
" this person made me mad and blocked me after. You can hack their Facebook right... so I can get the last word "
No I can not. And even if I did posses the knowledge and ability to. Why should I care you were probably being stupid too to them.
I don't care to involve myself in petty people problems. Honestly If they blocked you that should be the end of it grow the fuck up.
It's 10 at night. Too late for people to be bothering me. Especially with stupid stuff.4 -
Yes ! Just copy paste an entire fucking react dashboard into our NextJs project !
But don't stop there mate. Fuck up your branch and mine too to a point even gitkraken can't tell me exactly what fucking operations you did.
This is my first Next project and my first time working with this new client and it's going tits up in less than a month. Fucking great job.3 -
I'm generally new to front end development, couldn't keep up with the eco system even if I wanted to.
But what the fuck am I supposed to do when UX gives me mock ups in absolute units of pixels?
I thought best practice was for development was like vw viewport units of em units, because of the wrinkle of supporting different screen sizes and devices.
Is the general industry practice I'm supposed to use their general ratios and just get close enough? Like I don't want to dick around for diminishing returns trying to get shit pixel perfect, I don't have an eye for this shit to begin with.6 -
I have a serious issue with anxiety, i have an unhealthy way to cope with pressure and I don't know how much will affect me in the future.
Right now I'm your average developer, i write code, makes test, commit stuff and deploy ... and i'm happy.
But seems it's not enough ... you gotta be a speaker, a leader, make showcases to customers/stakeholders the more you go up the ladder.
I'm not that. Fuck. I guess this is the kind of skills part of the Senior Engineer package companies requires.
I just wanna write code, deals with other developers and fuck off the PR part.
<.<9 -
!rant
How do you guys deal with tiredness? I mean, holy shit, I feel so fucking tired all the time that it's starting to affect me at my work! Is it because I'm in school while I work? Is it because I don't get enough sleep? All I want is this FUCKING TIREDNESS TO GO THE FUCK AWAY, HOLY SHIT!14 -
Seems to me some companies only want people who have read computer science books back to front.
What is the fucking point of asking me a question, to then say it's wrong, and then just repeat what I said but in a way that sounds like it is directly from a book?
Who the fuck cares what the difference between c++ and python are, I don't want to work with python anyway, and the job has nothing to do with python?
#madness5 -
Interviewer said that passing technical interview means that 90% of the time I will get the offer.
In the final interview with management, I can't answer some questions because I didn't study. Isn't final interview should just about getting to know each other like hobby, interest, talking about company products?
They gave me some puzzle to solve :(
After that, they wait another 1 week just to tell me I don't pass. Why the fuck they wait 1 week just to tell me that? They should just tell me 1 day after!
I still have other job openings right now, but the job searching has been very depressing.
I will give it like 1 more month. But if I can't get any leads, I will just give it up. Maybe tech is not the right job for me.
I will just go back to my old job in non-tech. It's not exactly my dream job, but at least they don't treat me like shit like this.9 -
So my manager mentioned off hand that we might look at updating our company website to look a little more modern...
Me being me jumped right into action and now that I've finished I remember why I haven't built my personal site.. Fuck static web pages man...
Don't know why I did this, not even happy with it but I think it'll do, CSS and HTML is messy but fuck it, it works...1 -
You know what fuck github , anyone remember when git cli was easy and straight forward to use
Now i have conflicting master branches because the remote is main and git automatically defaults to master.
Git still asks for a password while github can't wait to inform me how I have to go through the very long process of setting up an auth_token.
Apparently https remote origins for some reason don't work anymore, why because apparently i need to change them into ssh, good luck with the public key errors
This sucks , fuck github and fuck politics9 -
what the fuck I can't edit the rant after 5 minutes I am fucking posting a new rant which have that last rant ...Why they update the fucking x code in every fucking 15 days . Well some libraries are deprecated oh cool I can use my shit as an object. And why third party libraries don't provide some good documentation of their sdk's . What the fuck is that and I will personally kill auto layout by entering in the mac myself. What is the use of that fucking debugging tool if I know don't the crap of my code that in which class I have done something terribly wrong what the fuck . Oh cool I am having that clang error and I don't know how to wipe my ass. And please fucking don't tell me to use xib code in xcode for my project if there will be 600 screens I will still fucking use storyboard for that. I don't fuck with xib files do you hear me. And fucking stackoverflow ..what the fuck is wrong if I forget an single comma during posting a question ..what the fuck..and you know what the real feeling is when I post a issue on stackoverflow and I got nothing from them expect some minus points...and then the holy fucking coder inside me tells me to solve that fucking problem and I feel like having dope bitch. FUCCKKKK..4
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I know I am guilty of this too, but it gets quite annoying when co-workers just barge in with a "something isn't working" while providing as few details as possible, needing me to ask them multiple questions about what exactly the fuck is it that made them cry.
Maybe it is a courtesy thing where you don't offload too much information in one go, but I wish they'd rather also tell me in what part of the application, doing what, with what input, did they encounter the problem.
Sometimes even I'll also just subconsciously assume a couple of details, only to realize fifteen minutes later that we're talking about two different modules.1 -
> be me
> recruiter: *sends a LinkedIn request with a message, I saw your profile, you're quite proficient in javascript and jQuery, do you want to work with us with cutting edge meteorjs stack*
> me : *the fuck ?! I don't even know that library exists, replies anyway for a call*
> me:...okay I'll call before I come in
> me: *quick look on their website which is built on meteorjs, fucking beautiful*
> me: *opens console out of curosity*
> me: holy shit, what the fuck? they're loading jQuery 1.1.2 over HTTP and website is on HTTPS, top of that they are loading jQuery libraries before jQuery.
> me : *reports to the recruiter*
> recruiter: thanks, we'll look into it
> ???
> profit
and I don't plan to work a place like that3 -
Fuck this new fad of forcing you to open a new tab when you click on a link. I already have 40+ tabs do you think I need another fucking tab just for your shitty homepage? If I wanted to do that I would just fucking use command (cntrl) click. Stop forcing me. And fuck google especially for making this a thing with google drive and switching between accounts. I mean why the fuck do I need a tab of just the idiotic sheets homescreen (the one that doesn't even include my sheets)? And if I want to switch accounts why do you open the new account in a new tab? I don't want to have my old account up I wanted to switch that's why it's called switch accounts7
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Fuck C# for real, like why in the FUCK DO YOU NOT AT LEAST THROW A FUCKING EXCEPTION WHEN I TRY TO CONCENTRATE A STRING WITH NULL, I SPENT 40 MINUTES DEBUGGING THIS SHIT JESUS FUCK
Edit, note: I'm having classes that return null when they don't find something. Why is it so hard for the fucking compiler to at least warn me or some shit!!!!!!!!!!!!10 -
So... what the fuck is wrong with people in this company for fucks sake!
Dudes use promises and always call resolve()
Me: And how do you fucking handle errors?!
Dude: Well we call resolve with 2 arguments and error goes first obviously!
Me: why no callbacks for fucks sake!!
Manager(defending the dude): you don't understand we told the client that we would use bluebird promises. Client liked it so much that is why we got the job in the first place!
Me: (jaw opened - silence)....
Dude:(goes out happy for winning the argument)3 -
Today has officially drained all the brain I didn't even have yesterday. Let's hope I get somewhere with this thing, or else all the brain I've wasted is going to be useless.
Also, fuck opencv's fisheye undistortion. Mofo, I don't have the camera params, how the fuck do you want me to give you your stupid kernel shit? Shut the fuck up from my face. Stupid hoebag.
... 😭😭😭😭😭 -
The same people who are afraid of their data stolen by websites are totally fine with adding a phone number on take away websites.
What the fuck?
I hate it. It's a mandatory field. I don't know my phone number and if you call me there I won't even see it. If you can't deliver my order it must be my fault and so be it.14 -
Fuck Apple and their shitty macbooks
the MacBook air I bought a year ago as that was the only I could afford at that point is slowly giving up as this piece of shit lacks any sort of cooling. As soon as Xcode starts , temperatures reach 80-90C and don't even get me started on what happens when I provide builds.
Seriously, how do they get away with providing subpar hardware at such high prices. Their after sale services will literally cost me another MacBook. This "ecosystem" is just not worth it.12 -
I don't know how many of you have faced this but fuck college student entrepreneurs!
Every one of these fuckers is all about the hustle and the grind which mainly involves them sitting on their ass and approaching me with ideas that they think will revolutionize the world
AND WHY'RE ALL YOUR IDEAS CENTERED AROUND SOCIAL NETWORKS? DO I LOOK LIKE FREAKIN ZUCKERBERG (I probably bombed the spelling but IDC)
I decided to work on a project (can't disclose any information cause the idiot had me sign a paper or some shit) and they gave me and 2 other devs a task of creating FUCKING ANGELLIST
look man, could be an easy task for your "business team" of 7 to give that task but do you really expect me to work with 2 loud mouthed freshmen who don't know shit and give you a finished product? I DONT THINK SO -
I really dislike micromanagement. I don't want to dictate details. I don't like hierarchies where my direct reports obey me.
The only thing that obeys me is my hands, with them, I write the exact code I want. I don't hire another pair of hands. I hire another brain.
When you see your direct reports as professionals, you can give declarative tasks: "make a pretty website footer", "make that page load quicker". If you leave implementation details for your direct reports to decide, this doesn't mean they'll fuck up. They are professionals too, and if you personally interviewed them, you better believe they can handle it. -
How the fuck am I supposed to fucking keep working if these fucking clowns add mandatory peer code review and passing build gating on main repositories (which I completely agree with to be fair) but they don't fucking review pull requests at all? For fuck's sake, am I the only one that reviews them seriously and promptly in this shit ass fuck company? I follow all the recommended guidelines so don't bullshit me with "iT iS nOt FuN tO rEvIeW pUlL rEqUeStS", do your job or just remove yourself from the fucking gating process, you worthless admin ass crust.
And don't get me started on fucking builds that fail randomly because some worthless shit bucket added unstable networking tests as unittests somehow, making your pull request get auto-disapproved by peers upon failure.
I got so many pending pull requests and management won't do fuck all about it because they won't force people to do their job by fear of pushing them around and get HR complaints that I am tempted to simply give up and just start playing videogames.5 -
A "safe" Ubuntu update decided to fuck with my AMD drivers and after rebooting, a nostalgic black emergency terminal greeted me with some cryptic message containing hex code as if any mortal user could make sense of it.
To add insult to injury, local mirrors don't have 18.04 which makes apt vomit errors during software installation.
How the hell does the most well known distro out there manage to have problems like that?6 -
Fuck forced coding conventions in uni, especially if they are as stupid as Google's Java Conventions. They are a disgrace to nice code but we will have to use them going forward
Stupid spaces everywhere. Else on the same line, wtaf. And don't even get me started on indentation with fucking spaces. Tabs are superior in every single way fite me irl13 -
FUCK you "WP iThemes Security Pro".
First of all, your FUCKing services isn't really secure, more like security by obscurity.
Don't get me started on how you probably don't have a dedicated team of security experts.
But oh well, the customer insisted I must install you, despite my advise.
Second of all, Don't FUCKing send me emails regarding "Scheduled malware scan failed" without it containing the FUCKing error message, not some generic "http_request_failed" error, why did it FUCKing fail?
Last but not least: Don't FUCKing clutter is with with your giant ass logo that takes up half my screen or FUCKing spam such as your upcoming events, newly published books/articles, incorrect "documentation"2 -
A customer sent me code today along with their request for a feature.
They want a thing happen when they click a button so they sent me some jQuery on click function ;)
I really don't mind it. They're trying, it's a well meaning tip .... but fuck no am I adding a customer specific function for their request, we have a another system for that kinda thing ;)6 -
The getting started of react native sucks big time.
If you don't want to display a completely centered text then go fuck yourself or what?
I mean there isn't even a howto on platform-independently not overlapping the fucking status bar. Everyone must've faced this problem when starting, but the only answer is an 8 times upvoted answer on SO telling me to add a hardcoded padding. What.
Where did this whole thing come to..🙁
Back in the days books about c didn't even start with more than 4 lines of code on the 70th page.
And when you google things about it it feels like you doing something totally wrong but its like the first thing a normal dude would do, what if i don't want shit centered bro i feel so useless and dumb i friggin hate that shit just fucking tell me what the fucking fuck to do!😫
It bugs me so hard cus i didn't even know a View is able to stick out on top of the app it doesn't make no sense to me the whole world is breaking apart12 -
Soo I've written some python code to test things for my soon starting bachelor thesis. I work with a little robot car I share with other people and use 2 cameras on it. Today I make the extra effort to go to the lab to test my things as there were too many people busy with the available cars yesterday.
Set it all up with ROS and my project as per usual just to see whether python fucks me over again ... nothing, ok what a surprise.
Good part: my python code seems to work flawlessly
Bad part: cameras don't work, although they don't throw any errors. Quick check with rqt_image_view ... everything seems fucked up, but not broken. Cameras not accessible as they should be, only 1 view available instead of the normal million modes and a blank grey camera stream on the screen. But no errors, nothing.🙄😪
I also wanted to capture some footage to test at home, well that's gone to shit. Now I had to simulate that using my phone camera ... while crouching.
Fuck ... me.1 -
I don't know if this even belongs here, but lately, thinking about all the people that i used to know and how they just disappeared kinda makes me depressed. When i was a kid, i thought i was supposed to deal with loneliness, and i was very alone yet not realising the friends i had at the time and how i lost contact with all of them. So this is a rant on myself, fuck me. I had a bunch of friends online and in real life too, and all of them just vanished due to my indifference, wonder if they all are doing all right but fuck me i am a fucking moron and i absolutely desereved to be alone for like years. Take this rant with a grain of salt and approciate the people that you engage with in work or hell even online.2
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So.. We probably have thousands of rants on git and muggles here's one from me.
I've been roped into this ongoing project, guys with 1-1.5 years of experience are already working on it.
When they shared repo with me ...
I see 195 branches WTF! What are these idiots up to 🤔
And only handful of people working on project.
This one time I was merging branch with master ( branch #196) with master, guy sitting besides me asks me what I am doing I said it's good practice to pull before you push, right?(the line I remember reading here on devRant, I thought let's bee cool 😎 😋) And I explained him that I am merging 'em locally and will push once everything looks good ( I realized later that I shouldn't have wasted my couple of minutes explaining him)
He says don't waste your time and download (clone) the project folder(repo) from github and then paste or add your change to it.
Fuck you man, you should go fuck yourself instead of telling me that I'm wasting my time.
Sometimes I wonder, What do these guys think of github? Assholes, chutiya saale1 -
PIC C programming on Linux with MPLAB, the editor from the manufacturer
I particularly hated the debugger
I don know of it was just me because I didn't understand it but *screams* SHIT FUCK WHY DON'T YOU READ THE DATA YOU FUCKING CRYSTAL TRICKED INTO THINKING!? -
TL;DR: I should just stick to Python. I'm not touching front-end stuffs.
I got promoted to moderator of the subreddit of the game I play. Got greeted by a list of task involving tweaking the stylesheet (CSS). I said fine, I screwed around with CSS before I can screw with this again. So now I'm in charge of the whole op. Alone. Yay /s.
The objective is just dark-theme-ing the thing because white hurts (we all know that). So I fired up Firefox, made a test subreddit, cloned the whole stylesheet and sprites and started screwing around with my editor and Inspector Tool. And it hit me: One element refused to render (I don't if that's the correct technical term), and I don't even know why the fuck it didn't render. 15 minutes fuzzing through and it still gave a middle finger. Fine. Fuck you. Full revert, back to original. Then I changed the original sheet one change at a time, reloading after every changes. After changing everything, it suddenly work. What the fuck. Why the fuck. How the fuck. How the bloody fuck. How in the bloody fuck.
(""Fucks" per minute" sure is an effective measure of code quality)2 -
FML..
I worked directly in my Github repo folder while working on a project (don't ask me why). I did my initial commit with all my code from the start until 5 hours ago. I never pushed.. A minute ago, I checked my commit and noticed that there were DB credentials in one of the files. So.. Smart me.. "revert commit"..
Result. Everything got deleted except my node_modules folder and the readme file.. I lost everything.. Fuck me, I'm going home..
Please, someone.. Can I get these files back via git or something? Can't find anything in in the history..9 -
Isn't it fun when you are given a library or framework and that in order to debug it you have to use some hacky way of hooking the code to a special instance of the project?
Even more fun: the developers by default don't debug the project with tools, but rather with logic. Ok, that's a good way to debug but it shouldn't be the only way to debug. I don't want to go back to the age of coding on paper. At least give me a stacktrace that's halfway clear on what's happening there. Even worse is when the framework doesn't document its own problems! stacktrace.someMagicalMethodNoOneKnowsWhatItDoes(). Having to read the even more mystic and overly verbose documentation! You're just left there trying and guessing shit, even for the senior devs!
And do you know what's more fucked up?! Fucking using println() to debug!! And they take this shit seriously! I don't understand how these people call themselves programmers. No breakpoints? What the fuck, man!
Just give me Visual Studio for fuck's sake. I don't want to code in a broken IDE with a broken framework. Development on its own is already hard enough, so don't make it harder by giving me crappy frameworks and crappy IDE's that only work half the time.
Debugging without a debugger, with broken IDE's, with broken frameworks, I'm sorry but that's just not for me. And then the framework dares advertise that it 'lets the developer focus on business code!' (how many times have you heard this crap before?). Right, the only thing I focus on constantly is trying to figure out why their broken framework doesn't work.
Arghhh. -
CUDA is a fucking bitch when it comes to configure projects
Creating my first CUDA project it yelled at me it doesn't support my current gcc version, ended up with me yelling back "OY SHUTUP" and slapping some flag for it to use clang instead — basically what it advised but I didn't listen first. Fine now.
Working on this project on another fresh environment, and now it doesn't detect anything and dumbly tries to reload my CMake project with the LATEST installed gcc when I already told it to use version 8 TWICE. First by setting up a toolchain with compilers pointing to this specific version and second by passing the -DMAKE_C_COMPILER pointing to it again. Still this stubborn piece of shit tries with latest everytime.
The most applauded solution was to use update-alternatives to make gcc point to the version I want CUDA to use. Thank you genius, but what if I don't want to use a deprecated gcc version with normal Cxx projects ?
And cherry on the top of this bullshit, I'm fixing this dumb configuration issue (can't stress enough how much I hate this shit) to be able to fix an EVEN MORE annoying issue with CUDA being a bitch AGAIN and not letting me use std functions where I'm allowed to
Fuck CUDA. Fuck CMake. Fuck C. Fuck everything3 -
BLAZING FAST
I never see this said with reference to a fucking hardware driver or a shit hot games engine, it's always used to persuade me to use some fucking frontend framework.
It's JS, running in a browser, polishing the turd of the clapped-out DOM - I don't EXPECT it to be fast. I just don't want it to go completely to fuck straight away. The bar is so low that the core of the Earth is melting it.3 -
!rant;
A senior front end developer with 8 years of experience asked me today what does 'this' refer to in a function() inside of a property in an object, and why it doesn't work outside of the function!
I wanted to shout FUCK MY LIFE! But I held myself and explained it to her.
Worst part is I still don't qualify for 'senior' in my job title (less than 3 years of experience), hence my lower pay.5 -
How does it feel attending conferences? (Good ones!)
Here in my country we don't have that many good ones they are all just some show offs talking about how they hacked their way through. But when I see videos for big conferences with thousands of people it makes me feel a bit jealous and sad that I can't attend those where you'll get real achievers (~_~)
Why did I have to be born here like this FUCK 3rd world countries.1 -
Me this morning(On Way to Work): Not going to let anything upset me today, i'm going to work, succeed and then have lunch with fam :)
Me In office(Still morning): This song is awesome(song i don't really like)
PM: Meeting Now!
PM In Meeting: What do you have to do?
Me: Some CSS shit. Gotta make things look pretty after they work so beautifully.
PM: OK but be more specific
Me: Layering issues with the popups, the alert input needs some tweaking.
PM: What are you busy with now.
Me: Layering issues.
PM: *As she writes on board* So that's alert, popups, layering issues, input and CSS.
Me: No it's just two tasks.
PM: You've got a lot of work, get started.
Team Leader: It's only two tasks, it's not five.
PM: Oh i thought they were all different.
Me: :|
Me: *Breathe in... Breathe Out*
Me (around 12ish): Fuck! This Dense. Bitch!!
PM 1ish: Meeting Now!
Me: Fuck!
PM: How far are you?
Me: Well i'm about done, just gotta test the changes, if it fails debug it a little and done.
PM: *Explains some shit about what i have to do*
Me: *Knowing what she's already going to say* *Slirps coffee really loud*
PM: You listening?
Me: oh yeah sure.
PM: *Gets pissed says it's because she didn't have coffee yet*
Me: *Slirps coffee while making eye contact*
Me inside: Mwahahahahahahahahaaa!!!1 -
If these aren't great mentors I don't know what is. They first took me into their company with no prior experience as an intern for six months working remotely a paying internship at that and they paid for my internet. Six months ends and they offer me a junior web developer position in the company, buy me a mac and and a second screen and still paying for my internet with an increased salary. And the team works like clock work all the time with everyone giving a hand to whoever is struggling with whatever not to mention they're very patient... I love this company FUCK!!!
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I'm building an app with Cordova and everything was working great, tested on multiple devices and everything worked perfectly. Until my boss called me to say that some interfaces don't work on his phone. Needless to say Android 4.3 doesn't like the "new" syntax of flex and just tells me that I can fuck off. Well Android fuck off too.2
-
- Hey, could you help me understanding your method? I'm trying here to implement it on my side but it doesn't work
- I'm not at home right now and don't remember the code i wrote. I will look at it when i get back home
- Ye but can you explain it briefly?
- I JUST FUCKIN TOLD YOU I DONT REMEMBER IT EXACTLY, I AM NOT AT HOME AND I DON'T FUCKIN HAVE THE COMPUTER WITH ME. WHAT HE FUCK WAS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?2 -
!Question
I see lots of rants here of bosses/clients screaming, imposing their authority, making people work during the night, weekends etc. Is it that common?
In my actual job, the few times my boss screamed to me, I was about "fuck this shit, I'll just do what he wants and go home at the right time. If they don't like it, just fire me. And laught silently when things goes wrong".
I've been afraid to get into the developer area and always be stressed out with too much work to do, people screaming and having to work on weekends.3 -
Happy Christmas and happy new years. 2018 was not a good year for me. Many project got delayed and not happy with my performance. I wanted to learn many thing and do many things but was not able to achieve those things.
I don't even feel like enjoying my birthday anymore. (It's on 27).
Let's hope the 2019 will be better than this dumpster fuck 2018. -
What the absolute fuck were you thinking Microsoft?
You're doing everything you can to ensure that those who continue to use Github are flogged and castrated?
What the fuck happened to the SSH clone link that was so easy to keep in all you had to do was *checks notes* fucking NOTHING.
It makes me question choices I have made over the last two years. Like, why don't I just host my own git server at this point? I have a couple servers running and it would cost me next to nothing.
Before anyone says anything about GitLab , I looked. I would be spending three times what I am now if I used them.
At this point it seems like a futile attempt to stay with you. I'm going to start calling you ShitHub now because it's a place where I can't get shit done without some kind of new shitty "improvement".
2022 is lining up to be a spectacular year!
Fuck you Microsoft.8 -
I don't get it, why the fuck are you cc'ing me in all the support ticket you are done/close. The ticket has nothing to do with my work. Fuck you cunt.4
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The reason I don't use Linux on my desktop is its hobby of saying “fuck off” spontaneously and without warning when I need it the most.
A designer friend shares his After Effects project and asks to export that to Lottie? Fuck off.
Your Android phone decided to brick itself with an OTA update (yep, happened to me, thanks Sony), and you need to unbrick it? Fuck off!
A musician friend wants to connect his audio card (that of course has no Linux drivers) and record some bass riffs? Tell him to fuck right off mate.
Your boss suddenly asks you to check an MS Access file for him as he's en route to an important meeting? Yep, you guessed it — fuck off.
Your government now requires your tax papers to have digital signatures? Fuck off, it only works for Mac and Windows.
Want to connect an old digital camera? Would you please fuck off?
I know I'm gonna get heat from Linux fanboys, especially on this platform. After all, a designer should know how to export to Lottie if he's a real designer, you should've bought a better phone, your friend should've had his laptop with him, your boss should've used open source tools instead of MS Access… Wait, he was tasked that from above? Then his boss should've used open source tools! Government mandates digital signatures? Well, tell them to port that to Linux! Start a riot! Get a better government! Move to a better country! Digital cameras? Who uses them in 2024, especially old ones! Are you some kind of hipster?
I know preparing for corner cases is bona fide premature optimization, but that's the whole point — with Mac or Windows, you don't have to prepare at all. You always have options. With Linux, your number one option is to have Windows handy if need be.
Linux works perfectly on my server, but not on my laptop.18 -
To the person in charge of managing my lovely corporate computer, next time you deem timely to install god knows what software in the middle of the afternoon, discreetly burning 50% of my cpu, preventing me from working, don't.
Instead I would cordially encourage you to go fuck yourself with a cactus and ponder on your abyssal incompetence.
With restrained love, -
So apparently, some guys emailed me saying "we found your details on Github as someone with Salesforce knowledge..."
Except I don't know a fuck about Salesforce except that it's called as such and pays well, and I have never used it in my life, let alone have a repo up. Can somebody please explain to me how these idiots think they can trick us developers out of all people with these bullshit enails?
I actually got a bit hopeful when I saw the subject "Hi, we found your details on Github"; then that flew out the window as soon as I opened it 😭😭😭 -
This fucking manual with their abstract ssl section is driving me nuts. Why do you need so many keys? Fucking jks!
Fuck your pseudonyms, and why in the name of the holy cunt do you have to cope them with aliases?
Jerry, barry, tango. You all get a fucking certificate!
Jerry is an asshole, barry is a cuntand I don't even know who tango is, but fuck tango in particular! -
!dev
There are no right answers in parenting, but there are sure as hell wrong ones and if the fucking backfire effect is too much to keep you from realizing that half of your stupid fucking decisions are delusional at best then you should probably start rethinking some things. I fucking hate dealing with other people fucking up and being stupid and I know I'm going to have to keep dealing with it in one form or another but god why I'm so done with this I just fucking don't want to deal with anyone anymore I don't want to deal with myself anymore
I dunno I don't have anyone to rant to so I can't like be specific here because it's public af but you know typing this makes me feel a little better but I still just don't want to deal with this shit anymore I don't even know what I do want to do there's like nothing the positive feedback is going away and I don't know what to fucking do with myself and I don't know how to change anything I can't fucking fix anything I mean I can fix my shitty code but I'm never getting anywhere with that and whenever I want to fix anything that's actually important I just fuck up regardless of how hard I try I just don't want to fucking try anymore I don't know if I'll actually hit post but I have to put this somewhere so probably but ugh I don't even fucking ugh literally all of my problems are so fucking dumb and small and elementary but I CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING I keep ranting about these fucked up people I have to deal with and yeah they fucking suck and sometimes I wish they didn't exist but I know I'm just as if not more of an idiot and everyone would probably be better off if I didn't exist but wait no that would have happened but you guys don't get to know about that because it's specific and putting that here would fuck shit up but someone else could so that so much better and I don't know everyone who interacts with me is just hurting themselves like fuck why do some friends like blades better than me maybe because I'm even less caring and even more damaging than a stupid fucking inanimate sharp piece of metal god fucking ugh okay I can't focus on anything why is this even okay side rant why are atheists so fucking hated like yes maybe some can't understand their motives for like doing things but nobody can really understand each other's like religious people all use god or gods in their own way why do you have to think of people who have zero gods as opposed to your nonzero as less human than you there's so much wrong with that okay that side rant is over but this whole thing is a side rant so cool fuck my life lol uuh I don't know I don't want to stop typing I don't know why though I guess I just actually I have no fucking idea I'm just here doing this I should be like fucking asleep I'm passing the fuck out after this ugh okay okay okay okay okay okay okay umm I really want to quote a certain person that I really hate right now and dissect them and prove every single fucking stupid argument they make wrong but I feel like that would not be good since this is so public but I swear I hate this and you know what if you're thinking that yes I AM A FUCKING WHINY BITCH DEAL WITH IT I'M WHINING YOU DENSE FUCKER YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT AND FEEL SMUG IT'S BETTER TO VENT HERE THAN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY ACTUALLY FUCK IT CALL ME OUT ON IT I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS OUT ON GOD AAAAAAH okay uuh yeah that's fun I'm a fuck up okay okay so you ask "how can you be a fuck up you're so young her der" okay being young generally is a disadvantage because you haven't had opportunity but boy have I and I sure fucked every single one of those up so yeah fun stuff you know woo haha mmkay I wish I had friends online this late because then I could like rant to a person and shit I mean this community is people but not people I know and it's not really back and forth as much and ugh okay right uuh yeah good um ugh I used to be able to get this shit out by doing something I'm good at but now I'm shit at everything and I can't motivate myself and it's all just bottled up and there's so much shit and nothing works and fuck there's probably a simple solution to everything I'm facing but I'm such a dense piece of shit that I can't find any of those stupid fucking ugh okay now I'm looking at my stupid hands typing ugh I hate the things right back up here uuh uuh I have 500 charas left lets fucking go I don't want to stop I mean I do want to stop but like by that I mean I just want to not exist I do want to keep typing here because it's the only thing distracting me but yeah uuh right um some people were like wtf happened with your stalking thing and this isn't where I should put it but fuck it whatever some weird guy just logged on for 10 mins to take a screenshot of the time being 2:22:22 and logged off and boom the school year ended uuh yeah kay right fuck I have to end it now
Aaaah okay uuh right bye I'm really sorry if you actually read that whole thing4 -
I fucking hate Windows... Yes I know it's beating a dead horse, but bear with me for a second here:
I really didnt mind it before, but I fucked up majorly on my dual-booted PC yesterday (dont fuck around with systemd if you don't know what you're doing) and needed to reinstall both Linux and Windows. Linux still has some hardware problems (second screen's not being detected), but else everything's just dandy.
But Windows... Holy motherfucking horse-cum drenched piece of goddamn trash! Shit wont listen to me!! I can click in that retarded settings app whatever I want and it still merrily keeps doing whatever the hell it wants 🙄🙄 Why exactly do I still put up with that?!
(It's gaming)6 -
Recruiter writes to me on LinkedIn for a job
Have an interview with the recruiter, everything smooth
Then interview with the HR of the company, everything smooth
Then the HR talks to the CTO, and the CTO is like "mmmmh this guy works as a consultant, I don't like this. Yeet him".
This absolute madman out there not giving a single flying fuck about consultants, head hunter, HR, only pure coding, literally living the dream. -
SHIT FUCK I THINK I LOST MY VISA CARD
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
IT WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY WAY I PAY (besides Bitcoin)
god fucking duck me in uranus, now I gotta pay money to get a replacement. Besides that, my parents are going to be pissed off, aaaand I might end up finding it somewhere.
I probably dropped it while pulling out my phone. I don't know why I thought putting it in the same pocket with my phone was a good choice. Just as I don't know if it was a good choice to learn Java
*shot fired*6 -
Why do you people give a fuck about politics?
Please don't explain to me why and which politician you hate, picture you have won your struggle and tell me what makes you spend your time with this, what is your expectation for the effort that you put in it?13 -
I'm working with a nice piece of code written 6 years ago by somebody who isn't in the company anymore and only the fact that they live on the other side of the continent prevents me from physically strangling them.
They must have thought that they were very smart trying to use JavaScript as a functional language. A shitload of library-specific decorators that ultimately don't do shit except for raising the cognitive load of anybody who hasn't worked with it before. Why the fuck did you use 'curry' in a function that then is never called in a functional manner? Because fuck me, go check the documentation of ramda because you obviously have too much time at work if you ask questions, just to learn fuck all.
It fascinates me how people take this steaming pile of shit that is JavaScript and then try to work against all its design assumptions to create something that is even more slimy, disgusting and smelly. It shows a radical misunderstanding of what you're even working with.
Take shit, add straw and you might have a docent construction material. Take shit, sprinkle it with chilli and try to eat it and it's just hot shit. But at least you will make everyone else try to find out why the fuck is that chilli in there because why would you expect it there. I'm a coprologist, not a cook.2 -
Working on my new WebSite/Shop while discovering an Error....
I got a "Download" button as <input> that triggers an JS-Script that makes a POST-Request to a target=_blank, that downloads the file via a header (so that people won't know where the content is located, but I blocked the source with .htaccess, too)
So the error: While testing in Mozilla everything worked fine, but as soon as I switched to Chrome THAT FUCKING STUPID DOWNLOAD PAGE WON'T FUCKING OPEN! I HAD TO CHANGE IT FROM AN INPUT TO AN DIV AND TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT IT COSTED ME FUCKING 1 HOUR! FUCK YOU CHROME! FUCK YOU! YES YOU FUCK YOU! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! MOZILLA IS FASTER WHY THE FUCK DO I STILL USE YOU BESIDES OF PORN! OH WAIT I DON'T EVEN WATCH PORN BETTER UNINSTALL YOU NOW! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU6 -
I went to an interview and they say they will call me within 2 week if I pass the first round of interview.
They don't call me so I assume I fail the interview and life went on.
I received the call today said I pass the first interview and if I wanted to come for second interview. My first thought is Fuck Off.
My acquaintance work for that company and we have a frank conversation. What is going on is that they are overwork and the other department complain that they don't have output from IT department.
When they ask IT department why don't produce output, head of IT department said they don't have enough people. HR department reluctantly allow them to hire more people and they phone me. My acquaintance apologize for the move that their company make. My acquaintance also said that he/she will also pass my decision to their department head.
I have meet everyone is that IT department whom I am going to work with and I like them. They are not only knowledgeable but also a nice person. More importantly they value the quality of work. They are the kind of person I like working with.
What I don't like is their HR department and they only call me when their departments work stale.
Here is my problem, I like the people I am going to work with but I don't like the company that they think I am kind of "backup". The company is the reputable company and it will be easier for me to find other job if I decided to quit and apply for other job.
I know the price range that they are willing to hire me due to first interview and the probing question I asked.
I was thinking of asking for salary outside their price range and think how it goes. If they are willing to hire me despite the ridiculous salary I asked , I may tolerant to work with them.
How do you think I should handle the situation?2 -
Why the flying fuck does a resultset get returned with the pointer going to BEFORE the first fucking entry? And why does the error say "no data available"????
I saw the stinking values in the debugger, you fat cunt, don't tell me there is nothing there.
But hey, at least now my boss doesn't have any expectations whatsoever. I sure am dense motherfucker.1 -
No mother fucker, I don't give a fuck about you wanting me to reinvent the fucking wheel to do state management. I'll just use NgRX like any sane guy and just handle it with stores.
I don't fucking care if you're my Angular teacher and never heard about NgRX stores.
I don't even fucking know why I'm still in this fucking course to begin with.7 -
So, I'm really really impressed with London. This place has an amazing history, culture, and the people are great. After visiting Copenhagen, Stockholm, Berlin and now London, I love London the most.
I've never tried to get a visa and my American friends tell me it's hard. Well fuck you I don't care if it's hard. All the better if it gives me a goal in life.
I leave at the end of the week but I swear I'm going to get back here next year. Don't care how hard it is.
Also I saw Alan Turing's Bomb. Pictures below.3 -
My company don't want to buy me a new computer: Im stuck with 2012 Dell. No kidding. And I am supposed to run 10+ docker containers all the time, plus java IDE.
Of course, I bought a new computer - by myself. Fuck my company. I don't have time for stupidity.3 -
Genuine question:
I'm someone who's already been in the workforce for a year now while still being a student (which is pretty convenient as it pays for my school), and talking with a lot of my friends online or at school, most of them would love to have responsibilities, and I can't relate at all: for me, responsibilities are just a weight on my shoulders and a Damocles sword over the head, ready to fall when you fuck up. I don't want people to rely on me, not because I don't think I'm good enough, but because I don't want to be held responsible for anything at all. Just let me do my thing in my corner, thanks, I'm good.
I would love to hear insights about that topic!7 -
Why is programming life so terrible and shit. I don't mean I hate it, but it gets me FUCKING mad sometimes. I was writing a post full of "fuck" and "shit" words about vuejs error which has stucked with me for about 3 days and before posting it, my problem got solved. for the love of god... WHAT THE FUCK2
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When you have to do something as a group in class and you don't do or say anything
I just stayed in the back, maybe a bad idea...
They just did a bunch of crap, titled it "fuck bitches get riches" and put my name under it, I drew over my name, but they've been calling me leader since then, after lunch they continued with teacher, sendai, and eventually father
What a bunch of idiots -
My misses said she was to young for me as I occasionally drop I'm a bit of Brb, brt wtf etc.. into my messages (I don't like lol), and thus she responds with this:
"U need someone who knows what the fuck those silly little letters mean! "
My messages are childish, eh dear?1 -
I don't understand why the fuck it takes me more than a day to fucking make an svg work dynamically with its background and it still doesn't work for fuck sake
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fuck
I'm doing this side job for a Canadian dude and he wants me to open a Wise bank account, I've never even heard of it and, obviously, no non-life-changing-dough justifies such a thing. For some wtv the fuck reason - I don't get it, honestly - the motherfucker doesn't wanna do PayPal
So... enlighten me, PLEASE, what are people rolling with these days besides PayPal?
Also, I'm pretty sure this motherfucker is putting bumps on the road expecting me to wave on it9 -
WTF with Uber Eats. Finally I had some amount left in my salary. I ordered food via Uber eats and they charged me. After sometime they restaurant not accepted my order and cancelled it. I paid for and I don't have an extra money for ordering. The repayment says it will repay in after 7 days. After Contacting customer care number, it is only priority for the ordered customers only. I'm starving now...Fuck this morning and Uber eats. Any devs from that shitty company take care of that flaw...they are taking this as a fucky business...
What a flaw...taking is faster and repayment takes 7 days...
Seriously out of my mind....fuck...fuck....7 -
'I have no idea how Ajax or jQuery works so let me just add this if statement to re-add the form to the page so no one knows how much I don't know' I deal with this legacy bullshit every day...I DUNNO BRO MAYBE IF YOU USED A RESULT SELECTOR INSTEAD OF THE WHOLE PAGE FOR YOUR....RESULTS?!?!?!?! FUCK YOU
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We should bring back the death sentence by hanging for those fucking retards who show their software update notifications as fucking popups after I start the program. No, notepad++, I don't give a fuck about your update. Fuck you FileZilla, I'm on a hurry, stop shoving your almost full screen update window in my face. Oh and the visual studio installer. Don't even get me started on the visual studio installer.
Would it be too difficult to show the update notification on the bottom of the window on the status bar? Maybe with a higher contrast color so it's more noticeable?9 -
Is this me or web developers never ever document their library?
I'm coming from the mobile dev world ans from what I've seen so far 8/10 mobile librairies got a well documented readme with some examples, etc.
I'am looking for web (php) librairies and no one give a fuck explaining what its shity library do and I never ever saw librairies with screenshots or gifs to give some examples...
I WON'T DOWLONAD YOUR SHITTY LIBRARY IF I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT DOES...1 -
Bleh, I fucking hate Arduino. I thought this Chad would teach me assembly for PCs, not Arduino. The boards don't fucking work half the time, I don't give a shit about blinking lights or motors, I don't want to do things with robotics, I just want to fucking code. Ffs, I'd rather write code that just makes a number increment and then quits, because then I wouldn't have to use that useless fucking Arduino "IDE".
Fuck you Arduino, fuck you so much.4 -
Fuck I'm crazy and need to enable you to do new things that don't mess with your principles or distress youso you do new things and uncrazy me13
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Wanted for once use FireFox for dev / tooling.
Welp, it only took 1 page load to see why devs don't use it :
There is NO information on how long an ajax request took.
A lot of useless stuf like "Destination IP" (Who the fuck cares?) or "Initiator" (I already know where it started, I want to iknow how long it took).
That concludes my try to work with a non chromium browser and i'm sad. because chromium is a new IE6.
Don't belive me ? Look how websites manages checkboxes. Yes that's right with ::before and ::after.
These pseudo elements SHOULD NOT work in <input>. But they do in chromium. Which basicly a deal break to use firefox for our users.
Fuck you chromium. IE6 bis i'm gonna call you now
And FireFox : Please, just COPY dev tools of chromium, yours are unusable.
Ok, I feel better, going back to my bug.2 -
I've spent a day trying to find out what the fuck happened with some code on a server because it seemingly disappeared. Today the client told me the have _more_ servers that they never told me about and most likely it's on one of them. Except they don't have credentials to them. Jesus.
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Least I wasn't allowed to mourn that evil fuck
Bad enough I mourned my mother before knowing course they lessened that blow by her basically abandoning me when I needed her and not reaching out to me for years
Course would have been nice to know he died much earlier and these others are imposters
That's all fucking with the year etc has done. Cause problems for people who don't deserve them. -
Just started my first internship and I'm already freaking the fuck out so much new shit to get familiar with... good thing I don't run from such but fuuuuck me