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Search - "shit developers"
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IOS SUCKS!! SWIFT SUCKS !! OBJECTIVE-C SUCKS!! SUCK MY DICK APPLE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !! Why did you have to make the language sooo counter intuitive, and so different from the popular languages you pain in the ass piece of shit, Why can't I throw exceptions from a constructor of a class?? Why do I have to use a fucking struct to just throw exceptions?? Can't class constructions fail you peice of shit?? huh? GOD DAMN IOS MAGGOT DEVELOPERS IF I EVER RUN INTO THOSE FUCKERS IM GONNA FUCKING RAPE EM BURN THEM ALIVE AND HAVE THEM FOR DINNER68
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so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable40 -
FUCK WORDPRESS TO DEATH!
Seriously, I have a degree in computer science and I can't for the fucking lfie of it understand the fucking architecture of fucking WORDPRESS!
How many fucking times when developing fucking shitty wordpress sites for clients you spent 66% of the time debugging some stupid fucki9ng shit related to the retarded monolithic fucking stupid architecture of this huge retarded abomination which should be killed in a fire with dragonfire.
How many fucking times while using trellis sage bedrock mother fucking super uber framework bubblegum you find yourself struggling with the fgucking broweser shit sync or some other fucking stupid bubblegum fix shit to make wordpress even remotely a decent experience to work with?
Even when buffed with a fucking shitton of boilerplate shit code from people who want developers to not fucking kill themselves while working on this fucking piece of shit framework the developing experience with wordshit makes me want to blow my fucking brains out with a desert eagle.
I seriously can't fucking stress how fucking shit this whole framework is and I seriously hope people stop using it for good. Wordpress was made by a bunch of fucking retarded monkeys who barely knew how to write afucking hello world.
This is the last fuckign time Im ever going to accept a wordpress project from my clients this fucking framework has driven me mad for fu cking years and i've finally had it with thsi fucking piece of shit framework and i fucking hope it gets buried 1000 km down and never dug up ever fuckign again.
Wordpress is the single most fucking horrid abomination that has ever been created in the fucking history of the tech industry.67 -
To all developers who think "I don't need to delete that one 1KB temp file"
FUCK.YOU.
You are not the only garbage developer who does not clean his shit up. The reason we need TERA FUCKING BYTE storage devices nowadays is because you incompetent shit heads have no idea how an application has to properly work. A temp file is not there to exist for ever. HENCE THE FUCKING WORD TEMPORARY20 -
Swift, oh my god, why do you have to be like this?
I'm looking to write a simple for loop like this one in java
for(int i = 5; i > 0; i--) {
// do shit
}
Thats it, simple, go from 5 to 1 (inclusive), I saw that to iterate over a range in a for loop (increasing ordeR) I can do this
for i in 0...5 {
// do shit.
}
So I thought maybe I could do this to go in reverse (which seems logical when you think about it doesn't it?)
for i in 5..<0 {
// do shit
}
But no, this compiles FINE (THIS IS THE FUCKING KICKER IT COMPILES), alright, when you the code runs you get a fucking exception that crashes the mother fucking application, and you know what the problem is?? This dogshit, shitStain of a language doesn't like it when integer that the for loop starts with is larger than the integer that the for loop ends with MOTHERFUCKER ATLEAST TELL ME THAT AT COMPILE TIME AS A MOTHERFUCKING WARNING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!
Alright *deep breathing*, now we can't just be stuck on this raging, we're developers need to move forward, so I google this, "Swift for loop in reverse" fair enough I get a straight forward answer that tells me to use the `stride` functionality. The relevant code for it
for i in stride(from:5 to:1 by:-1) {
// do shit
}
Wow looks fine and simple right?? (looks like god damn any other language if you ask me, no innovations here piece of shit apple!) WRONG BITCHES !!! In the latest version of Swift THE FUCKING DEVELOPERS DECIDED TO REMOVE STRIDE ALTOGETHER, WITHOUT ADDING IN A GOOD REPLACEMENT FOR THAT SHIT!
Alright NOW IM FUCKING MAD, I got rage on stackoverflow chat, a guy who's been working on ios for quite a while comes up n says and I quote
"I can sort of figure it out, but besides that, iterating in reverse is uncommon enough that it probably hasn't crossed anyone's mind."
Now hope you guys understand my frustration, and send me cookies to calm me down.
Thank you for listening to me !27 -
So we are a bunch of nerds huh? Without any social life? or friends?
You motherfucker, if it wasn't for the community that developers have built, you would still be living in stone age. Seriously, the way we share our hard work with each other, spending hundreds of hours on a library and making them open source on the internet, I don't think any other community out there does it so selflessly.
So next time you're calling me boring, you can take a big piece of shit and put it up in your arse.12 -
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!
Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...14 -
Last week, I notified a customer about that their webbserver spewed out several thousands of spam emails every hour, and they have to fix it ASAP.
(I also inform them for the 50th times for the last 2 years that they really need to update their websites so we can update from Debian 5).
The owner of the company forward this to their developers.
Today, I got the answer from them denying everything and blaming our "negligence" and they also dared to question all our technical expertise. shots fired
Spend some hours, finding shit on their websites, dug out logs, read documentation and old conversation and compiled that into a huge email that was designed to put them 10 meters under ground.
mfw I pressed send15 -
Hey frontend developers. If you do THIS:
z-index: 1000;
...expecting that it will ensure your div will be on top no matter what, I'm about to fuck your world up. Check this shit out:
z-index: 1001;7 -
I wrote my resignation letter yesterday, all’s good.
Today, bossman walks in:
“I’ve got some great news, all our developers are getting a raise”
Me: *well shit*15 -
Most developers are shit.rant state of the art straight to the point change my mind degrees are pointless in 4 words or less wtf happened42
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Laravel is the worst framework ever.
Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?
It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.
The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.
Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!
Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?
One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.
And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.50 -
My dream is to build a shopping cart for web stores that doesn't fucking suck.
Seriously Bigcommerce, Shopify, Magneto, etc. All of you can eat bag of dicks and burn in hell for ever.
I don't care what languages you fancy, all of their stacks are a pile of shit, monkey patched together with popsicle sticks and duct tape and it all falls apart with high concurrency.
All their greasy haired sales teams will throw all manners of horse shit at the poor bastards who are trying to run a business so they can pad their commission checks... "High availability", "scalable", "reliable", "Increased conversation rate"... Lying dick fucks, all of them! I am calling them the fuck out on that snake oil they're all peddling.
The only thing worse than their shit APIs is the shit documentation and the shit support that accompanies them.
Support of these platforms are pretty much all the same, sure mayhaps one has 24*7 phone support and another closes at 9 or some shit like that, either way the only people they put on the phone are monkeys that will freeze up and say "I'm not a developer so I can't help you"... Guess what, "Eric"! I didn't ask if you're a fucking dev! I'm calling because one of your devs fucked up and I need you to tell him to unfuck it so I can get the fuck on with my day!
Their app/plugin market places are shameful to say the least. The overall quality of software is somewhat dire and it's mostly dominated by oversees developers who speak English about as well as the language they're developing with (not very well usually).
I could go on until I hit the character limit but I'm gonna end it here by saying, all shopping carts suck and they should burn for eternity in the depths of hell so that a savior can free all developers from this agonizing torment.9 -
It’s time.
FUCK YOU FRONTEND DEVELOPERS!!!
What the FUCK is wrong with you!?
Could you please STOP creating ”innovate” user interfaces….
Just FUCKING STOP!!!!!
Web after web after web and I can see 100 different fucking date pickers. I mean. WHAT-THE-FUCK!!!
And the menus. GIVE US A FUCKING CLEAR UNDERSTANDING WHERE THE FUCK I AM.
And clicking back SHOULD FUCKING WORK YOU RETARDS!!!
YOU IMBECILS!
And remember the scrolling position. WHAT THE FUCK!? I did that shit
15 YEARS AGO
YOU FUCKERS!!!
It is just… a sad, sad place. I wish the old web was back. Super quick. Simple. Clear.
I get it. It is better now but IT IS NO EXCUSE TO JUST SKIP THE FUNDAMENTALS!!! You bastards!!!
AND WHY THE FUCK THE LARGE IMAGES!? You should have solved this by now!!! Fucking MB!? Are you serious? Did your mother not love you enough?
Oh man that felt good…35 -
Progression in mindset of a developer trough professional life:
1. I'm going to make my code so efficient and beautiful that everyone will envy it!
2. I'm going to make sure I keep separation of concern.
3. I'm going to make my code at least maintainable for other developers.
4. Well shit. At least it works, for now.3 -
Dear Apple,
We've sent you a new message regarding your app, Xcode. To view or reply to the message, go to the Resolution Centre.
----------------------------------
We noticed that your app did not fully meet the terms and conditions for reasonable fucking update size. Your latest app update requires over 40 GB of free fucking disk space. Please bear in mind that many of your own fucking laptops only have 120 GB of disk space. For optimum user experience, it would be best if the user didn't have to uninstall other apps from their system just to run your shitty update system.
Next Steps:
To resolve this problem, we recommend that you fix your shit. If you are unable to fix your shit, we recommend that you don't take 30% of all iOS developer's income so that you can make giant fucking glass donut buildings, and instead use that ridiculously disproportionate monopoly-abusing cut and invest that money in fixing your shit, to lighten the load of developers on whose backs you have become the most cash-rich company in human history.
Resources:
There are plenty of resources such as Stack Overflow to take advantage of, in order to learn how not to create a bloated piece of shit IDE.
Once you've completed all required changes, please upload a new binary to the App Store.7 -
To all those web developers who load their entire fucking website in JavaScript - even on fucking news articles where JAVASCRIPT ISN'T EVEN FUCKING NEEDED, and top it off with a heavy as shit framework, BURN IN FUCKING HELL!!!18
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So I have this best friend who is almost 10 years younger than me. (I'm turning 40 this month). He's a full stack web dev, nodejs-god, react-maniac, you name it. He fucking LIVES to code the most amazing shit I have seen to date.
I, on the other hand, am that old, little overweight PHP coder webdev with a shitload of experience in that field (17th year now), also with linux webserver administration and all the JavaScript knowledge I need in m job.
Sitting next to him and doing some fun coding sessions always makes me feel like I am that "slow, fat kid in class"... while he is the coding master.
Sitting at work (marketing agency) where I started as the new webdev 10 months ago, I still feel like the coding guru because even the web 'developers' don't know jack shit yet (coz they never had to).
It's fine, they are learning and want to learn.
All I wanna say that even though one might be seen as a senior dev by some, he might sometimes feel like a junior dev when he's around others.2 -
"Microsoft should not need to buy github, the platform itself should be ran by a non profit org like wikipedia or linux."
Add a herp a derp at the end. It will probably make it sound less stupid or hypocritical.
Seriously though, how many of you mecos actually pay for shit? Eh? How many of you donate to your fav Linux distros or web platforms?
Lets say that the entire devrant base did :) pretty sweet eh? There are still 28 million developers on fucking github.....now how many of those contribute to help account for server costs etc? How many actually use private paid repos etc?
And without adds and shit? This ain't Facebook!!
It makes sense. I am glad they did... and fuck you I would too.
I will see what happens before I put on my (disgusting) Richard Stallman Hat.25 -
To the person who architected a system where business logic is encoded to XML within CDATA sections within other XML data inside a 10000 line file that also describes the presentation of this same data:
I hope you meet a violent death. Your suffering should be equal to what developers who had to deal with your perverted shit experienced.
Motherfucker.4 -
Wtf how am I seeing job postings for senior blockchain developers with 8+ years of experience? Aint this shit like super new??12
-
ALRIGHT
WHAT FUCKING DUMBASS AT APPLE DECIDED THAT YOUR AIRPODS SHOULD PAIR WITH YOUR
CLOSED
FUCKING
MACBOOK
INSTEAD OF YOUR ACTIVELY SEARCHING IPHONE
PRODUCT MANAGERS ARE SHIT
DEVELOPERS ARE SHIT
THE WORST IS KNOWING THEY ALL EARN EASILY 6 FIGURES
AND ARE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE AT EVERYTHING13 -
Hello there, just couple of words about PHP. I've been develop on PHP more than 10 years, I've seen it all 3,4,5,{6},7. Yes PHP was not good in terms of engineering and patterns, but it was simple, it was the most simple language for web to start those days. It was simple as you put code into file, upload it via FTP and it works. No java servlets, no unix consoles, no nothing, just shared hosting account was enough to host site, or even application with database. As database everybody used to have mysql, again because its simple to start and easy to maintain. So PHP+MySQL became industry standard on Web during 00-2012, and continues in some way.
You can write HTML and logic inside single file, within php code, even more single file may content few pages, or even kind of framework. That simplicity and agility sticks everybody who wants to develop sites with PHP.
This is pretty much about why it is so popular.
Each good or wannabe PHP developer in an early days write its own framework or library (like in javascript this days because of nodejs)
Imagine that PHP has hadn't have package manager, developers used to have host packages on their own sites, then various packages catalog sites created, and then finally composer. A gazillions of php code had spread over internet, without any kind of dependency control. To include libraries to your projects you have to just write include, or require. Some developers do it better than others.
So what we have ? A lots of code, no repositories, zip archives with libraries, no dependency control.
Project that uses that kind of code are still alive even today, they are solid hose of cards, and unmaintainable of course.
And main question that I'm trying to answer is Why PHP is not good ?
- First is amount of legacy code which people copy and pasted into their project, spread it even more like a virus.
- Lack of industry standards at the beginning lead to a lots of bad practices among developers. PHP code usually smells.
open source php projects in early days was developed in same conditions so even in phpbb, phpnuke, wordpress, drupal used to have a lot of bad practices in their codebase. So php developers usually not study by another library, instead they write their own frameworks/libraries.
- "It works", - there are no strong business demands, on web development, again because lack of standards, and concerns.
This three things are basically same, they linked to each other and summarize of answer of why PHP have strong smells and everybody yelling against it.
Whats is with PHP nowadays ? Of course PHP today is more influenced by good practice of webdev. Composer, Zend, Laravel, Yii, Symphony and language it self became more adult so to say, but developers...
People who never tried anything except PHP are usually weaker in programming and ecosystem knowledge than people who tried something else, python, perl, ruby, c for instance.
Summary
PHP as any other programming language is a tool. Each tool has its own task. Consider this and your task requirements and PHP can be just good enough solution.
"PHP is shit" - usually you heard that from people who never write strong applications on PHP and haven't used any good tools like Symphony or Laravel.
Cheap developers, - the bigger community, the more chance to hire cheap developers, and more chance to get bad code. That can be applied on any other language.
PHP has professionals developers, usually they have not only php on scope.
That's all folks, this is very brief, I am not covering php usage early days in details, but this is good enough to understand the point.
Enjoy.8 -
No... No... No!
The game engine is not in charge of code optimisation, if your program runs like ass; it is 99% going to be your fault...
Sick of seeing people judge engines because of the poorly optimised things made in them by half assed developers... Why do the good things never get any attention where the shit gets all of it... Why?!
(Just had someone crack the shits at me because I'm not using a 'real' engine and am not a a 'real' developer because I'm not using unreal... So I'm in a fan-fucking-tastic mood after that :-D)2 -
Story of every failing tech startup (from personal experience, but a bit exaggerated):
Step 1: Come up with AMAZING idea that blows your mind!
Step 2: Run to investors to do presentation, continue to constantly repeat CLOUD, CLOUD, AI, CLOUD, MACHINE-LEARNING, MUCH WOW, MORE AI until investors are confused but mesmerized as fuck and decide to give you a shit ton of money.
Step 3: Hire all the developers you can find, a JAVA dev, a Python dev, a PHP dev, a Ruby dev, and ask them to get along with each other! I mean hey, they're adults right, they'll figure it out.
Step 4: Ask devs to launch the app, meanwhile, throw a LAUCH PARTY! HELLS YEA WE'RE ABOUT TO BE RICH BITCHES!
Step 5: Find out the hard way that no one needs a product that was launched! :/
Step 6: Pivot, and pivot next month again, and pivot again, and pivot in a middle of a pivot, and pivot pivot pivot pivot... and OH FUCK WE RAN OUT OF MONEY!8 -
WTF is up with open-source projects using emojis in their commit messages... FUCKING emojis..
I get it, programming is fun and a hobby to many, but can we also keep at least a minimum level of professionalism here.
WTF is a wheelchair or bento emoji at the beginning of a commit message supposed to mean? Why the hell even bother to use it in the first place? There is no fucking reason for this retarded shit.
Is this what happens when activist developers get out of their way to make programming "inclusive"?
It is your personal project and so if you want to use emojis it is OK, I respect that (not really) but I can't trust your code, your commitment, or the quality of your work if I see those dumb Unicode characters there.
Git commit messages are not a game. Be playful with comments in code or your readme.md file but git messages should be a clear reflection of the changes not what a teenager's phone vomited on the keyboard.rant stop this shit git commit messages source control keep emojis out of git emoji open-source github34 -
How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But you can guarantee the next developer who comes into the room will want to take it out and replace the bulb and the fixing because the previous developer did a shit job.
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"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."
Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.
Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.
If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.
Goddamit!13 -
Fucking pieces of shit, if I would have a list of developers that add "Whoopsie daisy, tinky winky compiling stuffie" as error messages, installer steps or as a checkbox in their github issues, I'd break their fucking back and keep them alive, just to ram fucking burning nails into their eyelids and then blast just enough power through them to make them burn and evaporate alive.4
-
When I joined my team in august as a junior/trainee, we were 6 developers.
Now we are 4 left in the team.
By the end of june, we are 1.. I mean its me, myself and I.
Wtf did I do!? My code isnt that spaghetti. I think...
But its np, just me with a 20 years old database, 7 legacy systems and a new one planned.
Atleast my boss believes in me keeping this shit floating.11 -
Fucking hell, that's now the fourth time in a row that I see my clients getting ripped a second asshole by previous developers, this one charged 1500$ for a "python script" that only calls ffmpeg with couple args, claiming tons of shit like the video being e.g. better quality after conversion - even though all it does, is a straight convert from one format to another. (no filters, anything, just a convert) I feel always so terribly bad discovering that shit and them proudly telling me about the "solution" they invested in..4
-
Dear Developers,
A. Please put your fucking functions in files with names related to the purpose of the functions.
B. Don't define your database management methods in your goddamn configuration file.
C. In addition, fucking document your shit at the top of the file if you refuse to abide by request A.
Someone is going to maintain or modify this code after you, and that person will have a hell of a time with it.3 -
Fuck ever working for a company that doesn't know shit about the worth of a developer ever again.
> be me
> just got my first class masters in Soft Eng that I worked hard as fuck to get
> get a job for a pretty well known medical company here
> offered a bit less than what I was expecting but fuck it, it's a job straight out of uni doing what I want to do
> fuckitwhynot.mp4
> stay for a year with no bonus programme, no pay review, no objectives, no perks, literally fuck all
> see literally every other position in the company be promoted and actually supported from IT & the developers
> feelsBoomerMan.jpg
> get the hail mary recruiter "you'd be great for this role" linked in DM
> follow it through and go to the interview
> nailed it
> comes to negotiating a starting salary and they actually laugh at my current rate and immediately raise it by about 30% with bonuses, reviews and all that shit occurring regularly
> later virgins5 -
Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?
Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.
for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.
A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.
Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.
Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?
This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.
Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.
Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?
Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.42 -
I honestly don't understand why some developers like to shit on other's preferences.
Don't like PHP? Fine, but don't give shit to somebody else for liking it or coding in it.
Not a fan of Javascript? That's cool, but do realize that there are people who enjoy coding with it and don't appreciate you talking shit about their preferences.
Don't like a certain framework? That's okay, but again, there are people who code with it so don't tell them that they shouldn't.35 -
Worst experience with a higher up?
At an old contract job (around 2013), I was contracted by the company to help guide their developers with me to rewrite their software (it was buggy as shit, they didn't know better.).
So, a month later, we are in the middle of the rewrite and the boss flies in pissed that it's not done yet, he had the audacity to accuse me of stealing contract work with no experience in the area.
I told him flat out, "you don't know what the hell you are talking about. If you didn't hire a JV coding team, you wouldn't need me to redirect your damn rewrite."
He fired me, so I went to his superior and told her the situation. She told me i completely deserved it.
Worse part was I got paid half of my contract. Didnt make that mistake again. 😒😒
Found out later that the company failed, declared bankruptcy. Felt pretty happy.2 -
How the fuck am I expected to salvage a fucking project that has been handed down to me with.
- No fucking clear architecture
- No fucking documentation
- Fucking shitty ass code base with no fucking coding standards
- The previous team was fucking learning a whole fucking new technology stack *Not fucking kidding* making fucking mistakes left and right
- No code reviews
- Mixing fucking local and cloud enviroment together
- No fucking testing
- Feature that were supposed to be implemented and are not working
- No configuration all the stuff are hard coded
- Full responsiblity for the whole stack
- Only one other guy with me
- And this fucking project has been delayed for a year
- MUCH FUCKING MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM
Like what the fuck am I expected to do? I took the job thinking that people knew what the fuck they were doing and surprise surprise that was a fucking bust.
the problem is also I am the junior and these fucking people have more experience than me, what the fuck happened to over seeing people's work, PM doesnt give a shit, developers dont give a shit nobody gives a shit.
But when I got this surprise surprise now everyone is interested in finishing the project
BULLSHIT11 -
Fellow developers,
For all people asking u to be partners of their "billionaire" idea, and to be paid from revenue ONLY when the plateform goes live or shit like this, BEWARE.
For all of them i had the same answer: "ok, ill share with you the project, but until it goes live, i am the only one who is giving sacrifice, and since we are partners, i want us both to do same level of sacrifices in order to deserve later the share of revenue... That being said, u have to pay the hours of devlopment, all of them, and when it goes live, from the revenue ill get, ill pay you back what you paid on dev cost"
It is the only way to be really even...
And if he refuse, ask them again "why? I taought u where 100% sure that your idea will work and become a billionaire why u think it is risky tp pay few thousands????"
... Now he is having second thaughts12 -
Dear people who think Microsoft buying GitHub is fine because Microsoft is more supportive of open source than before.
Here's the facts.
1) Microsoft is a large tech company investing in many things. That's a fact.
2) If Microsoft were to exploit GitHub, it would be a benefit to other departments in Microsoft. This is also a fact.
(For example, if tomorrow GitHub was tied to azure or some annoying shit like that.)
3) If such exploitation occurs, it will most likely be to the detriment of the free community of developers. This is a highly probable outcome.
4) The only question now is this.
"Does Microsoft care about open source enough to cut down on potential profit."
The answer of any sane, unbiased individual had to be no.
This is why people leave GitHub today. It is NOT because some childish hatred for Microsoft. In fact, I would've personally moved out of GitHub if "any" other large tech company had bought it, thereby compromising it's neutrality.
Edit: spelling20 -
I am sick of seeing articles about imposter syndrome. The developer community as a whole should stop circlejerking each other. Let's face the reality that some developers are just shit and that's it.13
-
I had a huge epiphany on Friday... not all developers enjoy coding.
Discovered when they brought down 2 of our environments, well told them what was wrong with the changes in their code that caused the environments to break, gave them links directly to the file in the gitlab repo that needed to be updated, and...
They fucking went home. The change would’ve taken all of about 30-45 seconds to update and they fucking left.
This person’s team lead come storming in pissed off because her manager is furious about 2 environments going down and preventing everyone else from being able to deploy their changes.
We provide the exact same details to the team lead about what needs to be changed, and advise that her team member took off....
30 mins later, her manager is storming up to us (devops/sre) livid as hell.
Explain the situation for a third time... manager is like, why can’t you guys fix it?
Look here you dense motherfuckers, we can fix the code. We can be the plumbers that clean up your shit. But what value do you gain as a developer if you don’t understand how the systems work and you keep pushing shit in?
Made the changes, fixed the environments, done right? Wrong.
The original developer made more changes not knowing what would happen and thoroughly fucked the environments again.
This dumb-fucking dumpster fire of a dude then sends us a slack message. “It’s down again, can you fix it?”
Our manager steps in and tells us to send him a link to the logs and have him fix it himself!
Thank goodness we have a badass manager.
Send logs, send repo file links (again), and send line numbers in the logs to try and help just a bit more. Dude goes almost the whole day without fixing it, environments are down, other devs are pissed, we throw this dude to the wolves. His manager starts to head over and was about to talk with my team lead when our manager steps out of his office and tells him the in’s and out’s of the situation and that our job isn’t to play log parser/error fixer for the developers. This dude that’s breaking the environments needs to be the one to fix the issue and his team lead should be aware of the problems and should have been able to correct his errors before it ever came to us.
The amount of hand-holding we do is ridiculous.
(Disclaimer, this one guy making some mistakes doesn’t sound too bad, but this is actually a common occurrence for like 40% of all of our developers)
We literally have interns still in college running circles around some of our full time devs. I know I’m not a developer, but for anyone that’s new-ish to developing, when you see shit like that please don’t lose hope. Those ass-hats got into programming purely for a paycheck, not because of passion.
Stick with it and your greatness will know no bounds 👍
As for you craptastic dipstick lickers, FUCK YOU!!! Go back to school and learn how to give a damn.4 -
God fucking dammit.
I got assigned to a WordPress project...
I AM NOT A WORDPRESS DEVELOPER!!!
Why do I have to deal with this giant pile of stinking shit?
I'm a php developer, I make applications, I don't write fucking wordpress plugins...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST, WHY DID WORDPRESS BECOME SUCCESSFUL WHY CAN'T I JUST DEV IN PIECE.
Dear wordpress developers,
Please suffocate on a big fat old cock.
Regards.10 -
Developers
that
put
every
line
of
code
on
a
new
line
Why??????? Seriously this shit is not making it more readable you know12 -
Soooo I think I have finally come to the point that I may have to create a YouTube channel, to teach software engineering from the ground up... and teach it the way the universities and everyone else should be teaching it, so that they have a solid foundation.... throwing hello world, and loops and variables at folks out of the box without any of the environment context or low level embedded register, even logic gate understanding
That lack of understanding is why, soooo many college students and younger folks, are actually pretty shitty engineers. Everything is high level languages and theoretical concepts to them. Nothing practical, that’s why there’s sooo many python and java developers that can’t for the life of them understand memory management, low level hardware interfacing etc, because the colleges don’t teach it the way it use to be taught.
I seriously fear 30 years from now or sooner when there are few embedded engineers only left till retirement, as without those folks the whole pyramid of electronics falls to pieces.
Java, C#, python, all that shit don’t run on the bare metal... there’s this magical layer of C, and assembler that does all the work just so folks can abstract their thoughts.
Either 1 of two situations will happen.. price of electronics will rise because the embedded guys are few and far between therefore salaries skyrocket... OR everything starts running shit like java on the metal, where there are a over abundance of developers, their salaries will be low because there are soo many but the processing power, space, and energy needed to run java natively causes electronics cost to increase
but regardless 30 years from now if those script kiddies are building everything I fear it cuz there’s gonna be memory leaks, and overflow issues everywhere.. shit be blowing up more than 4th of July.. lol
Soooo in effort to prevent that and keep the embedded engineers up, or atleast properly educate the script kiddies, I’m gonna make that YouTube channel.. 1 maybe 2 videos a week, 1-2 hours sessions each.. starting at the fucken ground and building up.39 -
Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.
Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are. -
I work for "a" company. This company has completely broken my desire to improve user experiences.
For instance, they have fetishized reducing the amount of clicks users have to go through to improve user productivity. Normally this is good, in their grossly mutated views, not so much.
They want ALL the data on a single page, and want people to use ctrl+f to find whatever they want on these pages instead of, ya know, a site-wide search(which fucking exists).
So this makes page times and UX horrible, some pages will take upwards of 2 minutes to completely load. 2 fucking minutes! My team and I had reduced these down to 15 seconds by reducing the data displayed and paginating it using some awesome JS lazy load functions. Not great by any real metric, but still a huge improvement.
You know who uses it out of 400 employees? Me. You know who still constantly gets complaints that the pages load really fuckin slowly? Still me!
Fuck these dumb asses and their retarded ideologies. They are stuck so far up 1990s ass they can practically TASTE Clintons' taint.
The culture is so toxic for developers it's absolutely abhorrent and depressing.
There is no freedom to do what you need to do because you're too busy doing the things they ask you to do. Follow that up with quarterly performance reports that bring up questions like, "What do you do for us?".
The only positive to working in this shithole is that they wouldn't dare fire you because they would never find anyone that would stay long enough to become an expert on this pile of shit. Over the last year we have gone through an entire 16 dev team, twice. That's 36 developers that just straight up quit in 12 months, and it's not like any of them worked together either. I would say 3-4 out of the first group met the second group, and 1-2 stuck around for the current group.
I don't normally rant like this, but I've been holding this shit in for a very long time and I can't hold it in.3 -
Let me tell you how shit flies in Aerospace&Defense companies in certain place in on earth
1. Your dev. PC is isolated from the internet. You can not download any software/library etc directly. "Legal" way takes literally days and you must all effort for it to work. I will not discuss the details of legal way but it is not asking IT team to download it for you, you do it yourself.
2. You use an archaic requirement standard that is somehow used by all other similar companies too. These companies f*ck each other in the arse when they are working on projects together(hiding details from each other which is necessary most of the times etc.) but they were kind to each other when it came to share shitty req. standard.
3. When you try to switch to new requirement standard, you waste weeks only to amend the old one, because everyone is using old one for all projects, so changing it would upset old guards in the company(which are people works in same project for 10 years, no personal development)
4. You came 1 minutes late, you fill the "minutely permission" form.
5. You already work long hours per day and they remove your small breaks during day, because developers use those breaks longer than intended(I wonder what might be the reason...)
6. A technology can not be adopted into current projects even it has objective advantages proven many times in the outer world, because old guards(developers), IT team and configuration management guys(poor man's dev ops role sometimes) can not change their ways.
I hate this shit...6 -
You know what does my fucking head in?
Designers or developers who shit on Twitter bootstrap because of something to do with how it looks.
Bootstrap is a framework. Not a theme.
If I can look at your site and tell, just by looking, that you’ve used bootstrap, then you’re a lazy developer / designer.
A site / app should look like how it was designed by the designer (even if that’s you). It SHOULDN’T look like the default version of the css framework you’ve used.6 -
WHY THE FUCKING FUCK CAN FUCKING DESIGNERS NOT FUCKING DESIGN TO FUCKING STANDARDS.
Do they have to just piss all over photoshop and expect us developers to turn their insanity into something that doe snot make us fucking cringe.
To top it off its some old ass legecy product bloated up with that useless peice of shit bootstrap, guess they forgot to mention that to the designer too, not that it would of made any difference with this pile of shit he churned out.1 -
*Clears throat*
Dear Microsoft, if you want to make developers move from Linux to Windows by adding the WSL... Please make sure it isn't a load of fucking shit that refuses to update and then crashes, corrupting the entire install...
Sincerely, some pissed off cunt.6 -
Why do devs hate windows (and all its products) so much? I mean yaa okay it is a shit os for you to get your development thingies done. Yaa I know its not open source. Yaa I know its not free. Yaa I know a lot of malwares are targetted towards windows. Yaa I know it takes decades to install updates which are released almost every week. And so on....
But wasnt windows the first operating system you laid your hands on? I mean me being a 90s born kid from India, Windows 98 was my first operating system and I was really in love with it as a teenager. MS paint was my playground and I used to go berserk over there. I mean come on. Being a teenager and knowing nothing about how a computer actually works, would you have been able to figure out how to run an NFS on linux? All the kickass presentations made in power point were so in during that time. The first code I ever wrote was in turbo C running on Windows XP. So whoever is bashing Windows and any of their products is a shit person because though Windows is not meant for developers (that too only some) it is a great operating system and I will always root for it in any forum/post where it is being bashed or criticized about. Not a Windows fan-boy (I dont known if there is even such a thing) but Windows is best for non-devs.21 -
For being a community based around developers, the amount of people managing to fuck up Windows and then blaming the OS while both my 9 year old brother and the old next door lady keeps theirs running perfectly fine will always be a mystery to me. If you are a developer stop making excuses of how a operating system works and get clever enough to work with it instead of against it. I've been using and developing on Windows for the past 7 years and to be frank rarely do I ever encounter the shit some people post here, mind boggling I would even say pebcak. And just to be clear, I'm not a fanatic, Linux is a beautiful OS.
There I had to get that off my chest, have a nice day.10 -
Half convinced universities are paid off by virus developers to teach their students the most shit and insecure practices available.16
-
First rant: but I'm so triggered and everyone needs a break from all the EU and PC rants.
It's time to defend JavaScript. That's right, the best frikin language in the universe.
Features:
incredible async code (await/async)
universal support on almost everything connected to the internet
runs on almost all platforms including natively
dynamically interpreted but also internally compiled (like Perl)
gave birth to JSON (you're welcome ppl who remember that the X in AJAX stood for XML)
All these people ranting about JS don't understand that JS isn't frikin magic. It does what it needs to do well.
If you're using it for compute-heavy machine learning, or to maintain a 100k LOC project without Typescript, then why'd you shoot yourself in the foot?
As a proud JS developer I gotta scroll through all these posts gushing over the other languages. Why does nobody rant about using Python for bitcoin mining or Erlang to create a media player?
Cuz if you use the wrong tool for the right job, it's of course gonna blow up in your face.
For example, there was a post claiming JS developers were "scared" of multithreading and only stick in their comfort zone. Like WTF when NodeJS came out everything was multithreaded. It took some brave developers to step out of the comfort zone to embrace the event loop.
For a web app, things like PHP and Node should only be doing light transforms between the database information and HTML anyways. You get one thread to handle the server because you're keeping other threads open to interface with databases and the filesystem. The Nexus.js dev ranting on all us JS devs and doesn't realize that nobody's actual web server is CPU bound because of writing HTML bodies, thats why we only use 1 thread. We use other worker threads to do the heavy lifting (yes there is a C++ bridge look it up)
Anyways TL;DR plz respect JS developers we're people too. ES7 is magic and please don't shit on ES3 or we'll start shitting on the Python 2-3 conversion (need to maintain an outdated binary just cuz people leave out ()'s in their print statements)
Or at least agree that VB.NET is an abomination and insult to the beauty that is TI-84 BASIC13 -
"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.
"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"
For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.7 -
Can someone tell who the fuck lets morons with absolutely 0 knowledge of how the industry works go on and write articles concerning "what programming languages to learn" clickbait articles?
Look, I never looked into them. Not even when starting, I knew (out of spite) that the people that built Windows Vista were developers and then I went ahead to look what a software engineer was. I went down the rabbit hole from that and my next step at the time (I was on the local library) was to go ahead and look for programming books, C++ and Java caught my eye, so I got them two books and went down. Later on I found about JS and Python and similar shit like that and I just continued to learn. I seldom bothered to learn from internet articles because to my opinion if I needed to read documentation then I might as well fucking read it from the people that designed X technology.
some were good, some were shit, etc etc, but I never bothered to look for "what programming languages to learn" articles because I could give close to two shits about some other dickhead telling me what to learn, I have always been rather hesitant to take other people's opinion into consideration when it comes to my own learning.
BUT today I clicked on one of those articles out of curiosity.....
"Many DEVELOPER (notice the lack of proper grammar) choose to leave Visual Basic in favor of more modern frameworks like C#, Java or .NET"
Ok, so, for whatever the fuck reason Java is mentioned along C# and a fucking framework (.NET) rather than just C# for microsoft shit, is this moron talking about VB.NET at all? is he going about VB6? what? what is going on here?
Obj C is not relevant at all and should be immediately replaced by Swift since it is a modern, and stable language (never mind that each release has breaking changes on entire code bases, yeah, fuck it, just jump alltogether and ignore Obj C and the decades of stable code it has)
"Coffeescript has been replaced by the newer features of Java" <--- ok fam, you lost me here, give me your "ITPro" card please and then kick yourself repeatedly in the groin since I won't be bothered touching you, i might get some stOOpid on me.
Fuck, these articles are all over the place, from idiots like the one above, to the moron raving about pharo smalltalk shitting on every tech you use.
Just.....please bring back shit like byte magazine and shit.....please? or Linux Format, make Linux Format more popular across the board, where people who know their shit think twice before spewing their bullshit to the masses? Some fucking kid there might want to know where to start and these fucking idiots are out there just ruining shit for everything.25 -
I suddenly realized all the technical debt shit I told my boss would happen years ago given the way things were done/heading then... Just occurred pretty much all at once last week in the form of critical production issues...
The teams like:
-we need real time server process monitoring
-structured logging for apps
-containerization so one app didn't affect others
Me thinking: yes.... I told you so like 3/4 years ago when I first joined the team and kept repeating so much I got tired of saying at every annual review...
This is exactly what happens when you let technical debt grow and have no free time for developers to look into and fix then while they were small and not critical production processes... Or properly document and peer review them... (Got a shit pile of projects that no one knows how to use or even exists because the devs left the team) and they'll have a lot more when I finally leave... Hopefully this year.... If I can find another role and not need another medical procedure... (Doubtful)3 -
This dude that i been helping on his project for free wants me to travel to his city(which is in a different country) to discuss the project and what's missing lmao hahahahahahahahahahahahaha yeah right.
Wondering how he managed to text with his head so far up his ass.
Fucking idiot.
Suuuure thing buddy, guess i will be paying for all my expenses as well using the money you have not given me? Fuck you think this is? If i agreed to help out it was to help one of your developers who so happen to be my boy and even he knows u is full of shit
Think this is my first rodeo? Bitch asked me to send him the project and i fucking denied it and he didn't like it. Said the code is his lmfao not ze fuck is not. No contract? Bitch your ass can come on over to Texas and demand it. Damn sure your dumbass is going to dislike demanding shit looking down the barrel of a .45
Fucking idiot2 -
I am tired of toxic politics at work.
Signs of a toxic workplace:
* (good) decisions are discouraged rather than encouraged.
Someone wants to introduce a great optimization and guess what the reply is (often from someone IT-ignorant): wait a minute, you can't do that because we have all these nifty little hacks and if you dare to suggest change to our shitty system, we could not allow that! We want to stay in our comfy zone, no no!
* no one can make a decision unless Mr. favorite-developer-everyone-likes says it's a good idea. And even if he's wrong, no one cares to listen to anyone else's idea on it. Stupid Feudalism. One man decides over the entire codebase. That's just idiocy. Where's TEAM in there?
* thinking years of experience equals intellectual capacity. It certainly does not! There are senior developers with 15 years of experience who don't even know how to open commandline, or they didn't even know about Chrome developer tools, or how the HTTP spec is built. That shit just makes me cry inside. How can you give these peoples the title of senior when they know less than a freshman year kid?!
* ignoring people's education and/or capacities. "You just graduated, so you're a noob". Right, I know more than you, you idiot. You've demonstrated your ignorance often enough. Stupid ignorant colleagues.
* blaming politics (every team blames the other team and there's constant tension)
* roaming ignorance (no one in the company, and I mean no one, besides me, knows enough about Information Technology to make competent decisions or analysis)
Politics:
What gives testers the idea that they know more than other members of the team? Why do they treat devs like they are mentally challenged?
What gives PO's that same idea?
What gives managers the idea that they can just yell at developers and threaten them with time pressure? Yeah, because the customers are breathing down their neck.
Just because I am a Junior Developer, that makes me stupid? I am tired of no one caring to listen to my ideas. I could save the company at the snap of a finger but everyone ignores my opinion (and often facts) on things.
People come in and instead of asking me for help, they ask everyone else for help, including the people who don't know shit about IT; now that's insulting.
Anyway, toxic politics.3 -
OK< been a long time user of Unity.
Tried the latest update as I and others were enthusiastic about creating a joint project of gamers and developers.
As I was building up a started website and we were getting things with Unity ready...BOOM,. They Fuck up the installs.
Not just a minor thing here or there but not finding its own Fucking file locations where it installs shit. You try and say, Hey Unity you fucking twat, install here in this folder.
Boom again, it installs part of it there, and then continues installing shit everywhere else it wants to. Then the assholes at Unity give this Bullshit claim "the bug has been fixed."
Just reinstall.
Fuck you, its never that simple, You have to delete all sorts of fucking files to make sure conflicts from a previous corruption isn't just loaded on top of so it does not fuck up later.
So we did all that from programs, program data, program(x86), AppData Local, Local Low, and Roaming.
For added measure we manually removed all the crap from the registry folders (that was a pain but necessary), and then ran a cleaner to make sure all the left over shit was gone.
Thinking, OK you shit tech MoFo's we are clean and here we go.
HOLY SHIT BALLS, Its fucking worse with the LTS version it recommends and Slow as Fuck with their most recent version which is like 2020 itself, and insane piece of fucking bloated garbage and slower than a brick hard shit without fruit.
So we were going to all go post on the forums, and complain the fix section isn't fixed for shit.
Fuck us running backwards naked through a field of razor grass. Its so overloaded with complaints that they shut down further posts.
What makes this shit worse is we cannot even get the previous fucking versions of the editor before all this to work where our only option is without using the fucking Hub demand is just install 2018.
great if we started coding and testing in that. We cannot get shit where we were at back on track because you cannot fucking backward load an exported saved asset file.
Unity's suggestion? Start over.
Our Suggestion? Stop fucking smoking or using whatever fucking drug you assholes are on, you fucking disabled the gear options so we can resolve shit ourselves, and admit you did that shit and other sneaky piece of shit back stabby, security vulnerable data leak bullshit things to your end users.
Listen to your fucking experienced and long time users and get rid of the Fucking backward stepped hub piece of shit everyone with more brains than whatever piss ant pieces of shit praised that the rest of us have hated from day fucking one!
And while fixing this shit like it should be fucking fixed if you shit head bastards want to continue to exist as a fucking company, overhaul the fucking website or get the fuck out of business with now completely worthless SHIT.
Phew:
Suffice it to say....
We are now considering dealing with the learning curve and post pone our project going with unreal just because of these all around complete fuck ups that herald back to shit games of versions 3.0 and earlier.8 -
The difference between a junior and senior developer is that junior developers will schedule meetings at 1PM forcing everyone to come back from lunch early. Senior developers will move that shit to 2 o'clock.5
-
A personal memo to all developers on devRant:
* Assume every external line of code, (including every service you consume) is an unreliable crock of flaming shit. These services can and will fail in the most glorious ways. Write your code to be resilient, and ASSUME FAILURE of dependencies. Even if it's your own team writing the other service.
Heard in a meeting today: "Your team's service outage is going to cause my service to corrupt the database!"
Response I wanted to give: "No, you asshat, my service outage is a normal part of living with microservices. Your app should have been smart enough to recognize the failure."9 -
Ladies and gentlemen.
Back in 2009 when I started coding, some dickhead told me to not learn Vim because professional developers normally use IDEs for shit instead of text editors.
Being the kind of person that I am, I shrugged him off as the cocksucker that he was and decided to learn Vim anyway.
Fast forward to 2015 up to 2018
I
Use
That
Bitch
Religiously
At work. For fucking everything since it is what you have when you ssh into a server and lemme tell ya this:
I you guys thought being a Vim master ain't dropping no one's panties....boy u wrong af.
And nano is fine too, but why settle for less when you can be a complete vim black wizard?38 -
Fuck (some of) you backend developers who think regurgitating JSON makes for a good API.
"It's all in JSON. iOS can read JSON, right?"
A well-trained simian can read JSON, still doesn't mean it can do something with it. Your shitty API could be spitting out fucking ancient Egyptian for all I care, just make it be the same ancient Egyptian everywhere!
Don't create one endpoint that spits out the URL for the next endpoint (completely different domain, completely different path structure). Are you fucking kidding me?
As if that wasn't enough, endpoints receive data structured in one way, but return results in another!! "It's all JSON", but it's still dong.
How do I abstract that, you piece of shit? Now I have to write ever so slightly different code in multiple places instead of writing it only once.
How the fuck do I even model that in a database?
Have a crash course on implementing APIs on the client side and only come back when you're done.
Morons.6 -
I'm starting to get sick of people calling out js for being what it is, a terrible pile of shit, without taking any effort learning the language. just because you wrote an app in java or python doesn't mean you're entitled to a free certificate in any language with a name that makes it sound easier.
in fact, I'd claim that for an experienced programmer, Java is much easier to pick up than JavaScript.
but, if all you want to do is sit here and complain, and you can find no joy in reading pages on end of documentation... well then, the only thing you're missing out on is the biggest fucking platform of the world. so don't worry I guess. it'll be fine. right? eventually the users will see that the web is just a nuisance for developers and they'll all start using native apps...6 -
y'know, if your coworkers annoy the shit out of you, sometimes it's worth looking at how the company is treating them.
a lot of what i have to deal with spans from an environment that demands speed at the expense of quality and won't reward developers for their effort, cause they simply don't understand the effort it takes. we have a tiny team responsible for a nation wide program, and people are just shocked when they hear this, because the work we do is in fact amazing for a group of 5. everyone is just tired, overworked and badly recompensed for it. this shit will hit the fan pretty soon5 -
Developers created IDEs with intelligent code completion and languages provide users with an annotation syntax to document their methods.
And then there is Python, nuking all the efforts of our ancestors by dynamic typing. And they are smug enough to call this laziness duck typing. "If it squawks like a duck, swims like a duck, walks like a duck its a duck".
Shit no, it ain't a duck because a fucking goose does all the same but is a mean bastard compared to a duck. You might pet a duck but only the craziest will attempt to pet a goose.
Fuck python and undocumented methods in particular!5 -
update of after i got fired: after the fuck developers company llc was left with no developers, there was a girl there that i didn't mention earlier because as i said: the story is more complex. she came there with good intentions but after she knew the cruel nature of fuck and shit she became notoriously mad, we're still in contact with her so it's nice to hear from her some of the gags that happen there, one of which my really intelligent ex-boss the wordpress DEVELOPER himself told her to finish one of the projects i was working on, and a friend of mine who is infamous of his coding shenanigans left it in my hands before he left as well a couple of months prior (well he was fed up before us, and when i told him to stay with us he said "dude just listen to the motherfucker's voice, i can't do this anymore", my lovely ex-boss has this equally lovely screechy high pitched voice that caused me tinnitus), it's an asp.net project, uses web forms, and a lot of apis, the database is sql server, standard shit but there's no original creation script and i fucked up the only existing database which was in a local computer he used to like calling a SERVER, now to the point: this girl is not a developer, she was however working as a reporter?? kind of like jaspersoft the human or sap crystal woman and she claims that she's pretty good at it, and she's a genuinely good person who was dragged to hell just because she wanted to be close to her daddy (she was working in a different city with more than double the salary she's given now), but she's rich and her dada convinced her to come. she's currently learning java ee on her own so she'd probably leave in the next two months, in her resume she wrote that she know php, well i know php you know php we all know php (the syntax) kind of like mr. shit who passed the sololearn php CERTIFICATE and couldn't stop telling his boss and his boss a.k.a my ex-boss goes "sweet!". going back to the punchline of this rant: she told us that he came to her and asked her to finish the project with php.12
-
SQL injection holes everywhere... The original author of the product put concatenated SQL queries throughout the whole application. If it's not the client asked for a penetration test, we as developers wouldn't even be given chance to fix this shit.
I'm actually glad to have the chance. I can't live seeing them every day but force myself to ignore them.8 -
Software developers are like a toilet. Just trying to do their damn job, but end up taking everyone's shit.
-
Folks...
I think I need to get away from web development...
Honestly, no grudge held against web/mobile development itsef... But the projects, the teams, the workflows... It's always shitty af.
I'm fed up with the bad architecture, poor management decisions, unmaintained legacy code, broken windows, arrogant juniors, arrogant seniors, code smells left to rot, the freaking red door... Hell! The fucking "we don't have time for that" answer to testing... Damn!
Been there done that.
Feels like it's always the same crap and unfortunately, it's rare to start a professional project from scratch.
Fucking angular, broken piece of shit.
Fucking react (& RN) community modules, broken pieces of shit.
Fucking lazy-ass node developers.
Fucking ES and fucking garbage proposals submitted to the TC39.
I wish I could do Haskell / Rust / Clojure professionally... I could even enjoy Go with a good team... Anything but that huge pile of dogshit JS and its community of brainfucked so-called developers.10 -
I seear man fucking shit php devs make it hard for people to appreciate the language.
To start, i don't think there is anything wrong with php. As a language I know damn near all of its pitfalls and have successfully deployed huge applications with minimal fuss.
The thing is...this shit seems to happen only when I AM THE MOTHERFUCKER THAT DOES IT
In any other scenario i am constantly cursing the original author under my fucking breath hoping that they choke on their own dicks. Fucking cunts.
Really man, some of the fucking code i have seen. This shit is dangerous as fuck and i can't believe that in 2019 motherfuckers would not have the decency to google for best fucking practices or learn it from a fucking book and shit.
Writing proper php code is not that fucking hard people, every fucking update to the language, every fucking tool that comes out is for the betterment of it.
Guess proper oop or functional paradigms are too complex for some dickheads. Hell, not even top to bottom procedural code.
Fuck me. Good thing is, boss is happy, the entire faculty is happy, the board is happy. Everyone is motherfucking happy.
Dez negroids better remember this shit cuz I just asked for a $20k raise.
I got a raise literally every time i ask for one so this one better make the cut.
Fuck shit php developers man. Y'all don't deserve the language, y'all make the language look bad, y'all make the community look bad.
Fuck you, die and eat a dick. Do all that shit in whatever order you prefer.15 -
*Android New version released*
Users: Wow! Let's see what are the new features are...
Developers: Shit! Let's see what are the things they DEPRECATED.5 -
Why the fuck are Indian software companies under the impression that interns are just junior developers that you are legally allowed to fuck over with shit/no pay. Internships are supposed to be about learning and growth. Every fucking company I apply for has some bullshit bi polar disorder because their requirements state one thing and they ask you other bullshit on the phone or at the interview.
How the fuck do you expect a college student to know React, Django, AWS, Angular, D3, Scala, iOS and whatever buzzword you assholes noticed were trending on quora?
And for fucks sake don't waste my time to call me and ask if I'd be available full time if I mentioned I can only intern part time.
WTF is wrong with these people.6 -
90%+ of production issues are caused by developers believing production machines are magic and have unlimited resources so can handle any shit code they write11
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Before becoming a developer, I used to work as a sales rep at this company that spent a good amount of time building what they believed to be an innovative state-of-the-art “code generator”. It was basically a scaffolding tool for generating software.
They were using it to auto generate customized iOS and Android native mobile app templates, along with a web backed.
The problem was that the generated code was shit, and the developers on the team basically spent more time fixing bugs than if they had built everything from scratch. But their passion for the product meant they just kept using it.
For some reason they never fixed issues in the original templates, so basically all the bugs that were found, kept showing up with each new app!
I have never seen apps like this that essentially had more bugs than features. Opening more than 10 app screen meant the app would freeze and crash. Sign up forms were actually dummy forms. The list goes on...
All the apps had the same shitty UI. For example, Product pages had a product image area that was like 5% of the screen view!
Last but not least, apps had a backend IP address hardcoded pointing to a server with an IP address that was temporary. So one day they had to restart the server and suddenly all customer apps stopped working and required a software update to work!
It was amazing seeing how a team of 3 developers trying to fix messy autogenerated code, couldn’t accomplish what was essentially a website on an app that I managed to build in my free time.
That’s how I knew it was time to quit my job and code full time.2 -
Oooh what I hate it..... Timezones... Who really came up with that shit? GMT, UTC, CET and garbage like that. And then also the DST crap.
Whats wrong with the same time in the whole world? Without DST or timezone garbage that just makes life harder for both developers and travellers which are going to meet someone or have something booked.18 -
I’m tired of all these profane “frontend developers” who do nothing but get cheap internet points by shitting on web technologies.
Bitch, NPM is just a package manager. That’s what it is. Anyone who ever used a package manager already knows how to use NPM.
Here on devrant, there at your workplace, people hear nothing but bitching when you open your mouth. You always need a “solid task description” and “best practices”. You always need somebody else to do your job for you. Frontend is the area where you have to constantly switch between heavy, performance-oriented coding, UX and graphic design while remaining in a dynamic environment that is called “web”, no wonder why you can’t do that. Instead of bitching, you could just present your own solution you designed with just a little bit of product-oriented thinking. But noooo, you fucking bother designers whenever you’re not sure about “how many pixels is that padding”.
You can only be barely productive (and only with a frozen spec) but can never take the lead just once.
In the 80s your kind of approaches were doubted, by the 90s they were dead. In 2020s they’re straight up laughable.
And don’t get me started on CSS. You have to be an absolute buffoon of a developer to not know how to use a DECLARATIVE tool that don’t even require real structural thinking.
No wonder why you praise php. You throw shit all over the place and tell everybody that you’re a “sociopath” and you don’t need that “stupid frontend” and “stupid users”. But you know what? Any real backend or embedded dev would’ve laughed at your face.
Because backend developers are respected.
You’re not.10 -
Me: *browsing devRant*
Friend who's on every Social Media paltform: what's that?
Me: devRant
Friend: *taking out phone* I need to join
Me: its for developers
Friend: *putting back phone in pocket* Ooh
Me: *grinning wildy in my sweet little heart* *yes you piece of shit. This one's not for you*
It feels good to have a corner thats not for everyone3 -
So, I decided to post this based on @Morningstar's conundrum.
I'm dissatisfied with the laptop market.
Why THE FUCK should I have to buy a gaming laptop with a GTX 1070 or 1080 to get a decent amount of RAM and a fucking great processor?
I don't game. I program. I don't even own a fucking Steam library, for clarification. Never have I ever bought a game on Steam. Disproving the notion that I might have a games library out of the way, I run Linux. Antergos (Arch-based) is my daily driver.
So, in 2017 I went on a laptop hunt. I wanted something with decent specs. Ultimately ended up going with the system76 Galago Pro (which I love the form factor of, it's nice as hell and people recognize the brand for some fucking reason). Matter of fact, one of my profs wanted to know how I accessed our LMS (Blackboard) and I showed him Chromium....his mind was blown: "Ir's not just text!"
That aside, why the fuck are Dell and system76 the only ones with decent portables geared towards developers? I hate the prospect of having to buy some clunky-ass Republic of Gamers piece of shit just to have some sort of decent development machine...
This is a notice to OEMs: yall need to quit making shit hardware and gaming hardware with no mid-range compromise. Shit hardware is defined as the "It runs Excel and that's all the consumer needs" and gaming hardware is "Let's put fucking everything in there - including a decent processor, RAM, and a GTX/Radeon card."
Mid-range that is true - good hardware that handles video editing and other CPU/RAM-intensive tasks and compiling and whatnot but NOT graphics-intensive shit like gaming - is hard to come by. Dell offers my definition of "mid-range" through Sputnik's Ubuntu-powered XPS models and what have you, and system76 has a couple of models that I more or less wish I had money for but don't.
TBH I don't give two fucks about the desktop market. That's a non-issue because I can apply the logic that if you want something done right, do it yourself: I can build a desktop. But not a laptop - at least not in a feasible way.23 -
Updated a website for an older client today. Realized I originally wrote their website in 2002.
That web site is a fucking non-responsive piece of shit... but it is still running normally after 18 years.
Just HTML/CSS and some light JS/PHP for form processing. It's not fancy but it still performs and works perfect on Desktop and OK on mobile. Mobile devices which DID NOT EXIST when I wrote it.
Let this be a lesson to the entire new class of developers who seems to think you need some framework to develop. You don't. And I GUARANTEE if that site used any framework that framework would have been retired or updated to un-useability 10 years ago.
Meanwhile my LAMP ass "web native" shit spaghetti with ZERO DEPENDENCIES is still just chugging the fuck along.4 -
oh many, not that I need them for my ego. Shit is large enough as it is, but four in particular:
Had two interns that told me that they had learn more from me in two weeks than they did from their progamming teachers the entire time they were in school, that I had a really good way of teaching and that I had restored their interest and faith in the world of software development.
My 60+ year old CTO that used to work in the financial sector as a developer way back in the day and then with heaven knows how many other tools tell me that I was on the top of his list for the best developers he has ever seen. Considering that I am 28 it meant a lot to me.
Also my previous manager currently living in a big city telling me that I completely outclass every other developer she works with over there.
My ex boss before working at my current institution telling one of our contractors that it was going to be damn near impossible to find a developer of my caliber. That I had set the bar far too high.
Shit is pretty cool man.20 -
FUCK ALL THOSE MONKEYS THAT WROTE ALL THE SHITTY CODE WHICH I'VE SPENT THE MAJORITY OF MY DAYS HAVING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE SHIT IT DOES AND WHY I CAN'T JUST BURN IT....
AND WHY THE FUCK DO BUSINESS USERS SEEM TO THINK THAT DEVELOPERS CAN UNDERSTAND ALL THEIR BUSINESS TALK...
IF I UNDERSTAND ALL OF WHAT YOU DO, YOU WILL BE OUT OF A JOB....
P.S. APPARENTLY ONE OF MY MEDS SIDE EFFECTS ARE INCREASED IRRATIBILTY. THE SLIGHTEST ANNOYANCES NOW PISS ME OFF...
SO APPARENTLY THAT MEANS I HAVE A FREE LICENSE TO BLOW UP N RANT ON THE JOB RIGHT?
... 🖕12 -
Docker and kubernetes might be about the biggest boost in productivity that we have had as developers in the last fucking century and I can't speak well enough for theres technoligies.
FUCK ME this shit is good, this shit is great and this shit is NEEDED.
FUCKING LEARN THIS TECH18 -
Ok going to rant about other developers this time.
Can you please stop doing just the minimal amount of work on your games/apps?!
I understand you may not have the time to go through with a fine tooth comb but just delay it, delay it and finish the product to a state that doesn't feel half assed and broken right at the get go.
A small note that the thing that triggered me with this is Android Devs at the moment, with Google requiring you support the adaptive icons and a newer SDK, so many Devs are just scraping by and putting in no effort to bring things up to date (also put more effort into adaptive icons rather than just putting your old square Icon on a white background)
This shit is just leading to everything being 'early access' or in a constant 'beta' stage with the promise of polish later.
Don't be that guy, put the extra few days of polish in... Just please...19 -
I walk into the kickoff meeting today. The first part of this project had 5 developers and a project manager. Former project manager handled communication and sheltered us from bullshit. We built an amazing piece of software in a very short time. Customers were so amazed that they decided to reboot the project, boost the funding by several million, and let us go again. They specifically requested the same team.
Now the team looks like this: the neediest tester guy, a UX lady that doesn't have any UX background, an agile "visionary", a project manager that doesn't understand how development works, a solutions architect, 3 COTS platform specialists, a devops specialist, and an account lead. They have booked all kinds of workshops and other shit to kick things off.
So development capacity is only 60% of what it was. Management ratio was 1:5 before. Now the management ratio is 9:3. The new project manager thinks developers should be on more customer calls and responding to all customer emails during sprints. We already built this system and devops pipelines end to end. The COTS people, solutions architect, or the UX person can't program. They want us to magically convert this custom application into one based on COTS. What we need to do is make the rest of the business processes that we omitted, integrate known feedback, rework the backend, build better automated testing, improve logging and reporting, add another actor to the system, add a different authentication method, and basically work through the massive backlog.
How do they think this is going to work? Do they think we can download a custom engineered enterprise grade software system from Microsoft and double click all the way to customer satisfaction? The licenses alone are too much for the customer on an ongoing cost basis. I guess we can discuss it during the agile team-building weekend at some remote lake that the team "visionary" has set up. For the sake of fuck.
Like development isn't hard enough. Hire two more developers and lose all of the dead weight. Get a project manager that won't let the trivial shit roll down on us. What the fuck.5 -
at the begin of the year I started working as contractor for a company which development environment was a shit machine in the basement...shared by all developers via ssh, that's right, no local development.
Who the hell needs virtual machines, Vagrant, Docker?
You break something while working? It's broken for everybody.
A.D. 2017
The other developers seemed fine with it.2 -
Internships are fucking bullshit and if more senior developers were to take the role of an actual mentor to coach juniors properly then the state of software engineering would be better.
Some people can be let down easy in terms of "this is not for you bruh", others can be built. I know that social interactions are not common for a lot of the morons in here, but being polite and kind is relatively simple if you know what you are doing. Being a dickhead != "royal levels of expertise" and if we were to coach more people into proper development practices then software would not be in such a shitty state.
For an environment that thrives in cooperation I find it hard to believe that we are still subjecting new people to the field to what can be considered slavery with little to actual no monetary compensation.
I removed many of the requirements for the application to a software developer job where I am at (I am the boss, I get to do shit like that) and my fight with HR was "I would rather someone fresh from college that I can coach properly than some dickhead with years on the field that won't listen to anything else than their own words"
Sure it would be slow, sure it would be hard, nothing ever is that simple, but my idea is "train this mkfer, level the fuck out of him, let him be off to great shit rather than giving him to some dickhead that will treat him like shit on account of being a newbie"
And yes, I do know how and what can go bad, I am going to have someone desinging shit in basic html/js/css with some php here and there not giving them the keys to every server I control. Thank you for your fucking concerns, I know what I am doing.
the experiment fails? GOOD more data for me.
Plus, you learn more when you teach others.16 -
Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them6 -
I just realized that devrant is the *only* community I can resort to lol. I can't rant to any of my coworkers about work. can't rant to any of my colleagues in college because they are fucking idiots. I tried to help them improve time and time again but they just blatantly refuse and I just gave up and said fuck you guys. can't rant to my family or friends cause they can't understand shit about code.don't know if any other platform that has a community that's as amazing as this one. so I would've been practically alone if it wasn't for devrant. thank you guys for enduring my bullshit over the past year. and thank you for the developers for creating this awesome community. I don't really know what I'm talking about but I guess I had to rant a little. if you've read this far. Thank you.
guess this turned into a rant of it's own. lol. will write the actual rant in another post. XD3 -
My ex-boss who had 35 years of experience in IT Industry, didn't know one single fucking coding language, obviously had no clue about source control or anything even remotely related to computers, and had been project manager of a project having over 1 million lines of totally undocumented code split into 389 files with no apparent structuring. All variables were either alphabets or names of programmers who developed them.
Code was in Python 2 and had bugs/line ratio ~= 5.
He asked to write a 'wrapper' class and somehow run it in Java and fix all bugs automatically. (insert Shia LaBeouf's magic GIF here)
When I said it doesn't make sense, he said you should put in hard work and do it, and not give excuses.
Time given to do this - 1 hour :-P
Good thing I quit that shit place and that pathetic moron. Love my new job and life! :D
Seriously managers should trust their developers and allow some degree of freedom. It helps a lot.4 -
NGL hearing the head of I.T ask you to help a brotha out and "do your magic" makes one feel pretty fucking legit.
I know I pull some magical shit, I know most developers in senior level positions or management do, but I also know we all rarely get recognized. The fact that someone would know that what you do is basically magic for your institution makes one feel so fucking good.
I really fucking try. Shit is hard and holding an entire department together sometimes gets the best of me, but I fucking try.
wish you all the same feelings all the time, always4 -
A few days ago, the Senior Director of our department came over to the dev team and asked the senior developers to gather around, and she informed us that a competitor was talking shit about our company's websites on Twitter, and she asked us to tear the competitor's site apart and find everything wrong with it from a technical standpoint so she could retaliate. We ripped the competitor's site apart and found that they were using a stock WordPress template that they purchased for $50. And here they were talking shit about OUR websites!
She took our findings and reached out to the competitor, politely suggesting that they take can their stock WordPress site and shove it.
They promptly deleted their Twitter post.2 -
Dear software developers, I realise, as a dev myself, the need for auto updates for security and stability, but, outside of only a few niche circumstances, are they really necessary on a fucking *daily* or even *hourly* basis? Congratulations for fixing that minor specific non-crucial bug that 99% of users have never encountered, and I'm happy you're maintaining your code so diligently, but couldn't it wait until next Sunday? By that time I'm sure you could combine the update with all the other minor fixes you'll come up with the interim.
And I wouldn't have to click my way through this shit every time I open the app4 -
Worked on optimizing the Firefox add-on I'm writing yesterday evening, was about to go to bed and packaged/installed it onto my normal Firefox (not Firefox for developers).
It worked perfectly fine on the developer version: hardly anything happens on the normal Firefox version and I took all debugging console.log's out 😬
Fuck me. Going to try to fix this shit tonight but damn.1 -
Similar to other countries if you work in international projects and companies.
If you work for big government related / small domestic company projects you can meet with comments and variables named in native language instead of english.
Just because there are probably only 2-3 companies who win every government project, they take all money and pay shit to developers.
To meet requirements they mostly hire fresh graduates to do the job.
CEO of one of those most famous quote is: You can replace every developer with finite number of students.2 -
Y'all, are internships in your area paid, unpaid or u need to pay to get one?
Our uni made internships mandatory! being from one of the country which produces largest number of engineers per year. Every godamn student from our uni is running around to get an internship! And there arises these dick heads with so called made up startups which has never done a godamn single project, just legally registered before the dawn and puts up advertisements for internship trainings!! All our uni needs is a fucking certificate from a technical company which is legally registered. And these assholes provide internship to those who pay them hella amount, and attend there couple of days just to get the certificate!! No developers! Just some random guy talking about html and css! Now thats Internship!
Fucking shit! Making money by looting students in their hard times! Students get the certificate that satisfies the uni, but for fucks sake at least bring an expert to guide them! No!! Need to stand up against this shit!11 -
I no longer give a single flying fuck about whether this company I work for lives or dies, whether it succeeds or fails. My compensation has been piss poor compared to the level of dedication I have put in and the level of stress I've endured. Up until now, I was thinking like "well, it's a growing startup, maybe if it succeeds it can have some doors open for me". But fuck it.
I keep hearing about software developers doing pretty well for themselves, but I can barely pay my fucking bills with this shit company in this shit country.
I should've started doing this sooner, and I'm a stupid-ass motherfucker for not having been doing it, but I'll be looking for jobs with actual respectable pay now. I'm not bound by a notice time in my contract, so maybe I'll be telling whatever other companies that I can start with them immediately if they need me to.
Seriously fuck this company and its low-ass compensation. If I'm going to be paid this low, I might as well take a less stressful job with less skill requirements.
I will be jumping ship and I won't be caring one bit if it fucking sinks.5 -
This is the year of non negotiation for developers. I’m tired of getting told to mindlessly do shit. I am not going to fucking budge on my standards just because other people are lazy. I am smarter than them and they will fucking concede to my demands for direction or they can go fuck themselves.14
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Shit Developers say:
Fuck you Jasmine and your camelCase
I’ve been wrestling cucumbers all day
Oh no all the cucumbers are broken
In a fit of refactoring madness I have gone and changed a lot
Did you seriously just give ME nil?... No!
If the shit sticks, then we put nice paint on it
Fucking red dot motherfucker (Ben and his failing specs)
You know what we don’t do often..kill each others builds. Kill them and reschedule for later. Mwahaha ha ha.
This build is going to be so rad...(5mins later)...Ok this is not going to pass..I can feel it in my waters!
Can i do that in a digital way or do i have to move my meaty body downstairs to find him?
All the donkeys have be out the gate by sundown
God, imagine if you could patent mathematical solutions
actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you can in the states "no, you can't use a laplace transform, you haven't got the rights, you have to use a less accurate transform on your matrices"
ooooo a boolean that's phrased in the negative, my favourite for code review destruction!
Fuck the police i'll call the object here
Web RTC - its super easy, all you have to do is..probably some hard stuff
I want to go to that conference so I can start arguments with dickheads about semicolons. Just for fun.
This this is not the same as that this.
Can’t come to work I can’t find any clothes. It’s best for everyone if I just don’t come in. ...2 hours later... Yeah my clothes were just in the other room and i couldn’t be fucked moving
(OH about bad bug reports) - you know when they are all like oh joogly joogly doesn’t doodle doodle and it should wobbly doodle you know? and im all like fuck i don’t know any of that shit you are talking about.
Him: "I don’t like it, it’s against REST convention its so 2006 that my eyes are bleeding. As a privileged white male i feel entitled to complain about this." Me: "you. were. eleven in 2006
Source: Kellective Github2 -
Having to deal with shit code as a new employee so you don't step on any toes...
Who knew developers had such egos. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯10 -
Company top execs: "We need to optimize our costs and reduce our expenditure by x€ to keep the profit margin at acceptable levels for the shareholders"
YOU ARE PUSHING OUT SHIT PRODUCTS DAY IN AND DAY OUT THAT YOU FUCKING SUITS THINK WILL BE THE NEXT BIG THING BUT NOONE REALLY WANTS OR NEEDS. WE ALREADY HAVE A TON OF THOSE BORN-DEAD SHITCAKES HANGING AROUND ABD NEW ONES ARE ALREADY BEING PREPARED FOR LAUNCH.
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? HOW ABOUT YOU STOP PRODUCING SHIT AND STICK TO YOUR FUCKING CORE BUSINESS MODEL!!!
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? WE HAVE A ZERG OF OLD FUCKS, WHO ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE FUCKING SMS TO START THE NEXT TECH REVOLUTION, ON OUR PAYROLL. ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS PLAY SUDOKU IN THE KITCHEN AND DISCUSS TECHNIQUES ON HOW TO RAISE GOATS!!!
"NO MONEY TO GIVE A PAYRISE TO DEVELOPERS"? WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCKING GET RID OF THE USELESS DUDES BASICALLY DOING THEIR TENURE AND CLOSE SOME OF THESE FUCKTARDED PRODUCTS THAT 4 PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKING COMPANY USE BUT NEED A TEAM OF FUCKING 20 TO MAINTAIN! NO!!! THEY WILL NOT BE THE NEXT BIG THING! NO!!! ANYTHING YOU SHITCAKES WHO THINK MOBILE APPS IS THE "NEW EMERGING MARKET" WILL EVER CREATE THE NEXT FUCKING BIG THING!!!!!
STICK TO YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS AND STOP CREATING USELESS SHIT THATS MAADE BY FUCKING USELESS PEOPLE!!!!
FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! -
It really irks me when I see 'web developers' and 'front-end developers' write CSS like a bunch of first-timers. Not considering hierarchy, specificity or even following a proper naming convention (who the fuck mixes camel case AND lowercase for class names?!) It's worse when you already have Sass or SCSS and they still write their style rules WITHOUT PROPER NESTING or keep using !important like it was a goddamn semicolon.
This is fucking basic shit for a web or front-end developer, and God help you if I ever conduct your technical interview and decide to ask you on a whim to write an Angular app WITHOUT USING BULLSHIT SYSTEMS LIKE CLARITY, ANGULAR MATERIAL OR BOOTSTRAP for your UI. But if you can explain to me the pros and cons between using CSS grid and flex, I'll be fucking impressed.
I wish these 'UI experts' I keep encountering would learn to build an optimal static site without a fucking framework or build manager before doing advanced shit, for the love of Jeebus.14 -
(tl;dr) Protip: never take internship/training/job offers from startups.
Fucking piece of shit startups hiring innocent interns from University, hoping that they are full stack developers to build their shit website.
"I will throw challenges at you".
You fucking scum, I need a proper mentor to teach me something which is not my fucking domain. You expect me to know nodejs and reactjs, and if I don't know that means there's something wrong with my learning process?!!
I'm looking for an internship which basically means that I get company exposure to proper training unlike being your fucking slave, you uncultured swine.
Seriously, recruiters, these days jack off to google buzzwords.5 -
I don't seem to understand why so many developers nowadays are focused on learning newer frameworks rather than focusing on best practices and learning how to code better.
"Hey I learnt React today, we should totally switch to it because it's so amazing"
> mfw the same guy doesn't even know how to follow coding styles, write good code that scales or document his code.
I think some people need to take a step back and focus on the more vital tasks of writing good code to begin with rather than getting so excited about every new thing that surfaces. It's annoying as fuck to deal with some of these people who you have to work alongside and be able to read their loopy shit code and all they are doing in their time is refreshing hackernews.8 -
I feel like resigning from a company that i joined 3 weeks back.
I don't like to code in PHP and the manager wants to stick on to that , no new developers joining the company and php is one of the reason. The code is a mess. Every now and then some other team come running for a change like one button to do some shit and then for a fix after 15mins of release.
So many database operations are happening manually. No innovation in the team. Developers are very boring , women being senior developers and team leads brings stability but there is no innovation , excitement or any enthusiasm. All my team members are very happy doing mediocre shit. Manager talks about agile development and they are following that at a level where every half a day some requirement changes.
I m tired of being a developer that fixes the same mediocre shit.
Its too boring.6 -
Fuck you google android IME team and fuck their open source policy..
So recently i had a chance to work with AOSP LatinIME code, basically our Android keyboard was forked from very old code base of LatinIME and my job was to change its base version to latest Version available on AOSP repository. Downloaded latest Android 8 codebase. Did 2 weeks of deep investigation of what improvements we will get from upgraded code base.
And I came to know that those Google fucking cunt sucking dick heads deprecated that project and broke the whole thing to a pice of shit. Half of the code is broken with fucked up todo stuff and motherfucking missing method implementation with not implemented warnings. What those motherfucker did is that they abandoned the open-source project after they released Google GBoard, and fucked the stable code by adding quard gram support and dictionary download with multi account features which was never completed by those motherfuckers..
Those misguiding donkey shit fuckers kept a depreciated project in AOSP build tree which has not received a single fucking commit from shitty ass Google IME team, is said to be reference model of Android IME implementation..
What kind of fucking shit is going with open-source code in name of making competition high with thirt party Android keyboard developers ..
Fucking shit fucking ime team .. fuck you .. wasted my fucking time reading your shitty code base .. Fucking shit1 -
I'm a front end developer who knows Ruby on rails and Node Js, I still call myself a freaking FRONT END DEVELOPER because I don't have enough knowledge of the required concepts to trust my skill in a complex backend project.
How the fuck there are so many full stack developers who lack shit tons of knowledge in both specialties! And worst of those are asp.net "FULLSTACK DEVS" that can't write JavaScript without copying and pasting from SO and don't know that display flex is a thing!14 -
Shit man if I thought that S.O for developers was bad.....Stack Exchange Mathematics is just fucking brutal omg I am loling so bad man these dudes have 0 patience and will legit kill trolls on spot.
Saw a dude not agreeing with implicit meanings behind certain symbolic notations, some other dude disagreed, fight ensured.
This shit is awesome. Ima stick with this shit for a while.
S.O still fucking sucks though. The stack is amazing and the app works fantastic. The people there are shitty beyond belief.
"Well, you probably said that beca...." fuck off3 -
Just now when I'm watching one of the many anime's I've saved onto my file server I noticed something.. all of their files are incomplete, and so are they on the NTFS mirror on this WanBLowS host. The files got corrupted. I recall that I used robocopy to place the files back and forth, and yet again it lives up to its expectations of it being a motherfucking piece of Winshit. FUCK YOU ROBOCOPY!!! If I wanted to fetch that anime yet again just to deal with your developers' incompetence, I'd have watched it online!! Meanwhile tell me, HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO DEAL WITH A NETWORK FILE TRANSFER THAT EVEN USES YOUR OWN SHITFEST OF A PROTOCOL, FUCKING SMB?!! MSFT certified pieces of shit!!!!7
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Someone please explain to me how you can become vice president of an internet company and have no fucking clue about simple database logic. Not only that, but then ask developers for query logic that is literally impossible and waste weeks fucking around trying to get it to work the way your deranged mind has shit out these absurd concepts.4
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Couple of jobs back we got bought out by that massive shipping company with the red and yellow colors.
We used macs and some high up moron decided it was a good idea to put on domain policy restrictions on our macs, but developers can't work without admin access so if we wanted to keep said admin access, we had to sign a written agreement indicating that we were not allowed to do certain thing, like change our wallpaper or install personal music players, you know like Spotify, which at the time was what most of us used.
Now this was just a nice cherry on the cake of stupid descision that was making me rethink working there. Thanks to the high demand for skilled front ends, it was 11 am when we got this, 3pm I had comnfirmed my interview for the next day.
An hour later our manager called us all in to explain this was BS formalities. Well too fucking late, learn to communicate you dumb shit.1 -
My first manager : "You will never be a programmer! Network guys don't know shit."
That was after working as a MCSE for 2 years (that was for NT4... fuck I'm getting old) for this asshat and maintaining their servers and fixing their crappy sql.
Worked and studied my ass off... now I manage a team of 40 developers... and I still love coding!2 -
If I were the world dictator I would forbid JavaScript in web pages for a month, to teach shitty web developers a lesson.
Is it normal that to submit a form I have to use the developer console!? For fuck sake, I don't give a shit about your fancy scripts that only god knows what they're supposed to do. A simple <form> with an <input type="submit"> would do the job, holy fuck!
I'm so tired of those fucking broken scripts. Don't write JavaScript if you suck at it!3 -
A real chef will rant about a freaking knife sharpness and weight and handle and all that shit. Because a real chef knows what he is holding.
Us? We are happy as long as the knives in our hands can cut some stuffs or stab some people.
// Disclaimer : I just left this comment on a rant where OP claimed many users (average users) have no issues with a particular OS while a bunch of self proclaimed developers have lots of trouble with that particular OS.2 -
I bought a Thinkpad E470 laptop for my wife' bday. Because she loves Linux, My first obvious choice was a Thinkpad. I chose the model from Ubuntu Certified Laptop list and installed Ubuntu 16.04 (Based on their recommendation)
now:
THE FUCKING UBUNTU IS UNABLE TO DETECT WI-FI ADAPTOR. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE THINKING WHEN YOU PUT THE LAPTOP MODEL ON THAT FUCKING STUPID LIST? I WANT TO EXACTLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE THINKING AND WHY YOU UPGRADED YOUR FUCKING KERNEL WITHOUT REVIEWING YOUR FUCKING LIST?
AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK LENOVO THOUGHT WHEN THEY RECOMMEND UBUNTU. WHY THEY STILL SELL THIS SHIT BASED ON THINKPAD' REPUTATION AND WHY THEY STILL SUGGEST THIS IS A LAPTOP FOR DEVELOPERS? NO THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE IS NOT FOR ME. IT'S DESIGNED FOR MASTERBATION WITHOUT INTERNET! BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABLE TO CONNECT TO INTERNET! YOUR MOTHER FUCKERS.
GARBAGE23 -
When backend developers do front end work 🤦♂️. Everything looks like shit, and so many bugs oh my god.10
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https://github.com/serde-rs/serde/...
Shit like this makes me wonder, wtf is going on in some developers heads.
TL;DR: serde devs sneakily forced precompiled libraries onto all of the users of the library using serde_derive without an obvious way to verify, what's in this binary and no obvious way to opt out, essentially causing all sorts of havoc.
The last thing i want in a fucking Serialization library (especially the most popular one) is to not being able to verify if something shady is going on or not. All in the name of compilation speed.
Yeah compilation speed my ass.
The worst thing of it all is, even if i decide to drop serde as a direct dependency, it will still download the binary and potentially use it, because of transient dependencies. But i guess, i will try to disable serde wherever possible and implement my own solution for that. Thanks but no thanks.
This is so fucking stupid, it's unbelievable.21 -
I've no idea what is wrong with wordpress developers.
Their code was probably written with their asses.
Even the wordpress API is a big shit with very beautiful function names like "the_content".2 -
Julia is a smelly pile of steaming shit.
https://discourse.julialang.org/t/...
Jesus fucking christ would you look at that pile of pure utter shit. The dumbfuck dev somehow managed to break WHILE loops for devs coming from python, and I speak for myself and probably others when I write most of us python developers are functionally braindead. If you can somehow fuck it up for python devs, a significant portion of the people you're trying to attract (owing by the syntax), then you should probably just go head and delete your whole git repo now.
Julia is a prime example of why you don't listen to your users on fucking github about the direction of language development.
What a bunch of fucking booger eating retards.33 -
The past few days ive been looking into angular.
Its a bloated piece of crap. It makes your page twice the fucking size and adds tons of unneccessary code with shit syntax. Whatever you do in angular can be done in a normal language, even fucking vanilla javascript. Stop fucking making unneccessary frameworks for js developers who are too lazy to learn a proper language.3 -
Web development:
I'm honestly happy that my toxic "senior" colleague is gone.
- Didnt learn a single thing in the last 10 years. Used godamn serverside rendering with Jquery / plain JS for a highly interactive business Web Application. Yeah boii, save that UI state in the relational database, good job.
- Every error in his shit was the error of someone else.
- Manipulative as hell. Type of guy that is your best buddy to gather information.
- Blocked entire technical progress in the Web department by manipulating people. Understandable. I mean if your legacy shit is gone...
- Kept backend developers from doing their job with unjustified complaints about structures... etc to justify that he needed an insane amount of time to implement simple things.
- Cried for every shit to be documented to the last bits. Did never do any documentation himself.
Fuck these people, honestly.1 -
I am so mad, I have no words for how fucking much I hate ever having to work or pass work to other incompetent developers or teams, what a fucking waste of time and resources.
After handing off the frontend - for the client to find some team, that would do it in the short time and budget he needs (multiple developers, more fast, much good), he found a team that seemed to be alright for the job and seemed alright to me too, now maybe a month or two later, the client contacts me, that they fucked something up and if I could talk to them.
The email I then received from them seriously made me speechles, mad and sad, all at same time, I spent multiple upon multiple hours, getting a very good readable documentation up (markdown with TOC, properly rendered headers, bulletpoints, all that shit), with all files, all services used, all credentials, even converted all ssh keys into putty ppk format, in case the developers are using windows and are too dumb to do it themselves, nginx configs, it had seriously everything, even too much to list.
They somehow managed to fuck up the entire server, while attempting to "add ssh keys themselves", EVEN FUCKING THOUGH I have included all the keys they need, all the hosting credentials, everything, yet they decided to fuck with shit themselves and completely annihilate the server in the process (HOW?!), so not even the webserver works anymore.
I am fucking speechless, I made it so fucking easy to gather all info and files they need, all properly put into well named folders, along the documentation in an archive and they somehow managed to nuke the fucking server, while attempting to add ssh keys?!
If you don't know how to config a server, then don't fucking touch it and just use everything, that got served to you on a fucking silver platter.
---
I'll just instantly answer the most annoying comment, that somebody could come up with: "why didn't you do it yourself?"
Because in a perfect world, a fully managed team, can do much more than a single developer can, especially in the same timeframe and from what I heard of said client, atleast they did something in terms of developing the system. (which surprises me, considering it's the same people that nuked a server, while trying to add ssh keys)5 -
Bootstrap:
Making developers say "fuck it...ill just build it myself" since its inception.
I swear....for small intranet shit sure...whatever y know...but when it comes to actual design this piece of shit is so quirky.7 -
I am just sick of the things that's been going on.
Joined a mid level startup as full Stack developer working on angular and node js . Code base is too shit and application is full of bugs(100+ tickets are being raised for bugs)
Since the product owner(PO) wants to demo the application he is pushing for bug fixes.
UI code:
1. Application is not handled for responsiveness all these years, it is now being trying to address. Code base is very huge to address though .
2. The common reusable components of UI has business logic inside. Any small change in business logic we are forced to handle in common components which might break up on another components.
3. Styling in 40+ components are made global. Small css change in component A is breaking up in component B due to this
4. No time to refactor.
5. Application not at all tested properly all these years. PO wants a stable build.
6. More importantly most of developers have already left the company and we are left with 2 developers including me.
I am not in a position to switch due to other commitments adds up a lot to frustration11 -
Clojure developers: why has our awesome language not taken the world by storm? how do we get new developers interested in Clojure and Lisp! its not as hard as people make it out to be!!
Also Clojure developers: Yeh so we know you are all probably not used to an editor like emacs *crowd looks in confusion*....BUT YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD EMACS, INSTALL ALL THESE PLUGINS, MAKE SURE THAT THIS SHIT CALLED CIDER WORKS AND LEARN ALL OF THSE CTRL+<Fuck-Mx-You> COMBINATIONS!!
As someone that has been in the community for so long...I can't with the mentality of some of these people, and it scares me because I fear for Clojure disappearing.17 -
What flavor of Linux is everyone using? Why do you think it works well for developers? Got a new laptop and I'm trying to decide what to put on it. My other laptop has a dual boot of windows 10 and Kali Linux (my sudden interest to become a developer came from a desire to be better at Infosec/netsec stuff)
Curious to see what everyone uses from a developers perspective. Not sure I want to develop on Kali and windows is shit.23 -
Well today I feel like shit so I called in sick. Found out the lead developer called in sick as well.
The thing is, there was something really important to be done today that he fucking new that if he was not to be there I was going to get shit from everyone. He is going through some shit right now and I get it, so I would normally cut him some slack.
But fuck man, at some point you got to man the fuck up and deal with your job, if anything do it for your fucking coworkers/friends. He fucking new that I was going to get a fuckload of bullshit over something that he takes care of.
Nevermind that there are only 2 fucking developers for the entire fucking campus(2 campuses actually) and we were told last friday that we were needed. Normally, one would put up with the bullshit and make a presence, but that one of us is always me. Today I said fuck it, its too cold, don't feel good and I don't want to take my daughter to the daycare.
Today I sit at home, go over my OS books, play Skyward Sword with my daughter, watch movies with her and I don't think about work for one second.
On another note, the reason why I need to go through my OS books is that a good portion of my masters degree(which I am to start on August) covers OS development, it seems that the entire curriculum will be C/C++ galore which makes me FUCKING STOKED! finally a break form web development that I can probably use to get me out of web development professionally as well.9 -
in the holy name of the son of a fuck
CAN I HAVE JUST ONE FUCKING LINUX COMPATIBLE VIDEO EDITOR THAT DOES THE FUCKING CROSS FADES ON ITS OWN LIKE SONY VEGAS DOES?
JUST FUCKING ONE! WHAT ARE THESE FUCKING DEVELOPERS THINKING???????????
PITIVI, KDENLIVE, FLOWBLADE, OPENSHOT. ARE YOU TRYING TO CREATE HARD UIs ON PURPOSE?
NO, I DONT WANT TO CROSS FADE ON DIFFERENT TRACKS.
NO, I DONT WANT TO MAINTAIN THE CROSS FADES AS SEPARATE ENTITIES. JUST GENERATE THEM ON THE FLY!
IT'S STUPID... STEWWWWW PID...
Grandfuck shit
I'm about to eat my own shit and play around with the pieces of corn I ate last night.
I'm losing my goddamn mind over here.7 -
Taking charge of an existing project...
Me: "This certificate requires a password. Can you send it to me"
Other dev who was earlier responsible for the project : "Just use the default one"
Me: " And what's that?"
Other dev: "CHANGEIT"! All caps
Me: 😐 -
What follows is an email I want to send very badly right now:
RE: please provide new date format
There is no new date format. You have the day and month switched. In the sample you've provided.
You've been getting away with it up til now because the digits were small enough to be either a month or day.
Then, as soon as you hit a snag you immediately gave up and assumed it was me changing things. You came to me before even making a guess what could be wrong.
Learn to fucking troubleshoot PLEASE. I am sick of your lazy shit coming to me with an issue every time you stub your toe. You are professional developers and I am your junior.3 -
Devils Advocate moment: A proper PM can assist greatly on projects.
Don't get me wrong, you have all for the most part been faced with the incompetence of glorified quasi manager positions. But a proper PM can be a gift really.
I absolutely despise generalizations, I do get that percentages matter, but shitting on professions when the realm of possibilities have yet to be touched to the full extend of capabilities seems like child's play really.
remember, y'all think you are all God's gift to the world through coding experience, but a solid network engineer might have as much gripes about developers as y'all do about managers, project managers, sys admins etc, and the same shit can be applied vice versa.
Software engineering is magic, in the sense of the tv show "The Magicians" where you can make an incantation and suddenly your penis/tiddys explode: inexact science.
Be a tad bit open minded, learn enough about their shit to tell them that they are fucktards, and run from the ones that know but don't fix shit.
Peace pendejos1 -
I don't understand how you see so many people talking shit about php and when you click their profile they are php developers6
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Jesus fucking stupid backend developers that don't listen when you tell them their shit doesn't work. So you end up wasting time again and again tracking down these fucking obscure issues that are caused by THE SAME FUCKING BACKEND ISSUE3
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I hear a lot of complaints that having to study math/physics/* subjects is useless, because you don't need it in 99% of the IT jobs.
But so is software engineering, isn't it?
The tiniest companies ask for doctor titles, 19 years old senior developers with 30 years experience, architects and teamleads in the job listing and when the reality hits you, you find yourself being the bugfix bimbo and red button logic designer for architectures called "big pile of shit"©®™. And it will never change!
There is no time for proper software engineering when the deadline is set to the day before yesterday. And software engineering does not yield profit immediately. A big clusterfuck of features and bugs that somehow compensate each other does.
You study all this stuff to learn how to learn. Even if "you'll never need it again"™6 -
Companies : we cannot provide sponsorship.
Me: I can pay for my visa.
Companies : we don't provide relocation.
Me: I can arrange my own ticketes.
Companies never reply back.
It's incrible how many openings for developers I saw around the world and when we apply for them we have to face this issues.
I know some countries is a pain to sort out the documentation, but another countries is very easy and always I face this bulshit and this stupid behavior.
The worst part is they made us waste time with assessment and don't give any shit for feedback.
I made by myselft my own recruitment process for each company that I worked for and I answered each candidate when they didn't pass on the assessment and why and in interview without fear of hurt feelings.
It's best being sad for not passed in the process for any reason that they would could told me than get this limbo.3 -
The place I currently work at has got this culture of ignoring developers.
Deadlines get made by 3rd parties and project managers who don't have the technical nounce or experience of our system to make a call on deadlines.
Demos of products are arranged without a discussion with developers as to whether said component will be ready on that date.
3rd parties make decisions about future architecture, offer to assist, then disappear for days on end, to only come back and make out as though they've not been holding us up.
Upper management take no interest, don't listen to the people they pay to do a job.
Currently just moved a PHP web app into a multi tenant scalable EBS environment, but apparently it's not worth asking our view on technical aspects of the business before the shit hits the fan.
Lies to clients about documentation and policies, for example, claims from Sales we have a DR and BCP plan, client called is out, they sent a 2 paragraph A4 document to the client claiming it was our DR and BCP plan without talking to anyone technical, including myself who has years of DR experience. Embarrassing.
Could go on, but rant over.1 -
Antergos is going out of the play. And i saw a very click baity article which poised the following statement at the end:
"Is the death of Antergos a major loss? No, not on its own. Despite the developers bragging about over 900,000 downloads (over the last five years) it’s hardly a popular operating system. Still, its demise is a part of an emerging trend where developers don’t have the resources to continue a project. And both the Linux and Open Source communities should be very worried about that. Developing for love or as a hobby simply isn’t sustainable."
Now, this is, at least to me, bullshitty in the sense that the open source community does not really have anything big to worry about. Large pools of companies would make yeary investments in open source codebases due to the ammount of usefulness they present to their companies. More and more great open sourced projects come out every year OUTSIDE the all eating scope of just web development(which to an extend is fine since it brings communities together)
Saying that a hobby isn't sustainable is funny in itself really.
If people don't have the time to support a hobby project because they are moving on to bigger and better things in shit that actually pays then I am glad for them. It tomorrow Arch, Debian, pop os, ubuntu and fucking freebsd goea out then I would have something to bitch about.
Till then, stating that the community haa something to worry about is just bullshit.3 -
one of my guys decided to start learning c++ for the fun and fuck of it. We do not use c++ for shit (we web developers in this bitch) and he asked me if in the event of him getting completely fucking stuck he could come to me for guidance, I said sure. I do use c++ for personal game projects....it is mostly very bad C until I need c++, it is horrible seriously, I ain't no expert.
He decides to go with the LLVM. Creates a simple hello world app. Runs clang++ main.cpp -o main.
**QUICK PAUSE**
Done, the CLI returns the prompt back to him. He comes and asks me wtf is going on. I check on my machine(Linux based) and do the exact same thing. Executable comes out.
I check back on his windows machine, try typing the same shit. Nada. It does not throw errors or warnings, and the syntax is fucking fine, can't really fuck up c-outing hello fucking world. FUCKING NADA
I couldn't sit down to troubleshoot since it was still working hours, but this shit is haunting me and I am going ballsack crazy knowing that I won't be able to jump at it until tomorrow.
This just makes me dislike c++, i usually never have issues like that, but then again, I use the microsoft compiler (bitch at me all you want, most game developer tutorials etc use that shit, so does the Cherno, its all i know OK????)
I am going to go crazy sdjkfhasdkjlfghlajkhrfvluidefjbhfksjadhjksdsdsjksdjkl11 -
I swear to god, if I read another medium post on how you managed to be focused and productive I will fucking... well... roll my eyes, make a facepalm and rant about it on devRant!
Who gives a shit if I'm unproductive and unfocused?!
Well, look at me now, I'm fucking productive while I write about you, you fucking peace off shit! And guess what? I'm not even using any of your 40 todo apps or time trackers. There is no pomodoro timer next to me or framed quotes from Steve Jobs hanging on the wall. Oh, I must be a fucking genius!
But what if YOU became unproductive?
What will happen when YOU start to procrastinate?
Do you really think the world would care?
Oh, but you are not really a writer are you? you're a developer building your app!?
Well fuck, I guess you're going to change the world than?
It's your big project. Your life's work, your legacy.
Let me remind you...
All apps will be abandoned!
All blog post will be forgotten!
Productive people will die!
Focused people will die!
Enthusiastic bloggers writing about productivity will die!
All CEOs and CTOs will die!
All developers will die!
Steve Jobs is dead!
In x years, you and I will also be dead!
Whatever you do, it's not really that important!
It's really not.
You're not going to change the world.
The world doesn't need another app.
The world doesn't need your advice on how to be productive.
You are not special.
Deal with it!8 -
What the FUCK is wrong with people!!!??
If you need to use !important in your CSS.... STOP and just don't.
It should be very clear that if the need arises to use !important then you are either really shit at CSS and don't understand the concept or you are a lazy mother fucker.
I'm so fucking sick of dealing with other so called "developers" shit code and have to spend time I don't have fixing their shit.
There is absolutely no reason to use
!important and to anyone that thinks to be a smartarse and let me know of their shit reasons... just don't because there aren't any.4 -
Why are most developers/software engineers so absolutely fucking shit at their craft?
I understand incompetence exists in every occupation but it seems in development the ratio of bad developers to good developers is like 9:1. There’s a serious lack of quality in this industry and it’s only further exacerbated by coding bootcamps and orgs like general assembly pumping out more dog shit9 -
What's it like being part of the FOSS community?
Well here's the average comment section on everything related to FOSS anything...
"Why would you use that, I use XYZ and it's so much better"
"Have you tried ditching that proprietary shit and go in favour with X because it's built by developers for developers"
Guys... I get it, but have you ever considered that the whole point of FOSS is freedom? So you know, freedom of speech, choice and opinion? -
I can't believe developers are being told to do better when it comes to master/main. Why don't YOU do better and come up with something more worthwhile than this weak shit?1
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You know your company is in shit when the only products that their customers are using are all written by people who has since left the company.
I guess the first ones to leave are the best developers. -
Tired of older generation developers teaching people not to use the back button. Make your application not garbage and let the people use the browser as intended for shit sake.1
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I have noticed that C/C++ developers that deal with backend server technologies are very much likely to resort to PHP for some reason. I have noticed it from serveral developer friends of mine or simply by noticing how the topic comes along sometimes on web discussion forums.
I believe this is the reason why certain extension codebases that deal with php are(for the most part) exclusively done in C++, take Phalcon, written as an extension in C or PHP Swoole, which is written in cpp iirc.
I wonder what attributes does the language, or the tech stack as a whole has that would make this particular kind of developers feel attracted to the platform. Is it that is easy and widely available and they just say "fuck it, I don't wanna spend too much time in this shit" <--- which is a very valid point really.
Or them just having an innate preference towards it?
The Psychology Behind Developers: By Dr AleCx0417 -
React is an overengineered pile of shit designed to let pretentious developers show of their golden arse holes with useless implentations of worthless business cases where everything and anything is an abstraction of some silly theory.5
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When it comes to the idea of programming and magic, or the comparison between software developers/engineers, computer scientists etc as magicians or wizards, nothing brings the idea much more close to hearth than the C programming language.
A while ago I read the R.A Salvatore books concerning Drizzt, the dark elf. I loved the books, have not continued reading them but I remember them vividly. There was one book in which a human magician came about wielding extremely explosive magic, humans were capable of channeling large amounts of it through explosive and unwieldly ends.
This is the same feeling I get from C
Consider:
int items[] = {1, 2, 3};
printf("Third : %i\n", 3[items]);
and fuck me if shit like the above is not dangerous, it makes sense, arrays have the first items of it server as the pointer address to a first element, doing the above operation returns the third element of the array of 3. But holy shit if I don't think this is dangerous and interesting as fuck
there are many more examples I have that I am finding through me fucking around with: language development (compiler, interpreter), kernel programming as well as net sec. C is the most powerful and devastating thing we have in our hands indeed.7 -
I always spend a lot of time thinking about the responsiveness of my designs, often I get stuck for some time due to random images, backgrounds etc not fitting the device size and then I check other sites to get inspired and get disappointed and sad how most developers just don't give a shit and either the background just gets cut off, images just hidden instead of aligned for example to the left further down the content and so much more, am I the only one spending so much time into getting my sites/designs perfect across any device and screen size?
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You know what really grinds my gears?
Executive bathrooms. They get gold and marble and all kinds of fancy shit and the rest of us get a linoleum shit box. Who do they think they are? Are they too good to shit and piss with their developers. You know...the people who make the shit that makes them money?
Executives are just overpaid suits who do next to nothing while the rest of us carry their fat asses across the finish line and they are too good to take a shit with us common folk.12 -
FUCKING SANGOMA WTF???????
You buy FreePBX and then convert great modules from OPEN SOURCE to Commercial.... I get it. Developers need to eat. But I've reviewed the new features and you aren't adding value. Just hiding precious standards behind a pay wall.
FUCK IT. I'LL CODE THIS SHIT MYSELF.1 -
You know what I hate more than bugs/shitty docs/no VCS?
Recoding the whole damn thing in another language, from ground up to do exactly the same shit. Why WHY must developers shit hundreds of solutions into space only to say "Huh, look at my software, it was I who developed it." No, you simply recoded it and wasted your time and everyone else's time searching for a solution.1 -
I think this is interesting and evil at the same time.
You make a huuuuuuuge(like...YUGE level) code base available to a lot of people marketing certain things at an enterprise level and for small companies to use. You make sure people implement a lot of shit with your stack.
Then you tell them that shit will cost money from now on.
And because they might already have a large codebase they can't just change it to whatevs.
Shit is brilliant, moronic and funny at the same time.
Wondering what Gosling is thinking about this whole deal.
If anything this whole thing will make people switch to the excellent OpenJDK platform more and more. I know that starting with Android N google had already moved to the OpenJDK.
Oh well. Wonder if this would make Java developers more vailable and hard to come by cuz I still love the Java programming language and like the monies.
And know I have no soul.2 -
Man why is it that the languages that I like get shit on by like 90% of developers. Whiney little cunts that get mad at css because they think "oh I can just inline style and it'll be fine" No wonder your X looks like fucking roadkill. And I fucking love python. Maybe if the Oracle overlord didn't have a goddamn chokehold on ever major hardware manufacturer python would be more prominent.7
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What the fuck is so bad about JavaScript??? Like really. Everyone hates it but why? Developers HEAR JavaScript mentioned and immediately throw shit. Why?? JS is my go-to.28
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rant.
i'm graduating uni and I have to say, my school sucks. they dont teach us how to be developers, they're teaching us how to be tools.
half the subjects could easily have descriptions like how to be employee of the month. I know social and management skills are important in the workplace but by god if I knew that that's the only thing they'll be teaching then I shouldnt have enrolled. for fuck's sake this is IT not HRM.
it doesnt help that most of the professors cant even code beyond printing statements and loops. they didnt even teach object-oriented programming. I had to study that shit myself, so mind you i'm probably not good at it.
though I've had my share of wonderful professors who have taught me so much, a handful of them isnt enough to salvage the incompetence of the whole faculty.
end rant.5 -
Me 2 cents on python:
Cheers on python for enforcing indentation for the sake of readability.
Fuck devs for writing a fucking function in one line or 200char.
Also fuck type less one liners even more.rant fuck python tabs vs spaces typewriter fuck developers python fuck this shit indentation readability4 -
Right,i consider myself a pretty damn good dev... I can back up everything I say to prove that I'm right on not lying to clients
But I see all these devs who do lie... Who withold data from clients cause it's not great.
And I go to clients and prove that they are lying not doing it right.
But I know saying to them... Oi your current devs are shit fire them ... Isn't a good way to get them as a client
Me and my company are open and honest ... we go all out on all of our projects. I work nonstop. It is seriously baffling the kind of developers are out there and how bad they can be I'm... Seriously just.... Urgh 😖
How should I go about talking to clients without going ... Fire them quick or saying that in a ... More humble respectful way...
I need more clients ... To survive and I don't mind coming across as a dick as long as they understand what's going on and that they are people ripped off by these asshole devs5 -
I love working on legacy products. You just need a good shower and possibly a therapist after.
- Sensitive data sent over the internet encrypted with DES (not even 3DES). Guess it doesn't matter that the key (singular, for the last decade) is basically 0123456789ABCDEF.
- Client databases with open default port, admin/admin superuser.
- Critical applications (potential for substantial property damage, maybe loss of life) with a single point of failure and without backup.
Suggestions, to slow down a bit with sales, so we have time to rewrite this steaming pile of crap are met with the excuse: be more pragmatist, this is standard industry practice.
Some of this shit can be fixed on my own time if my conscience nags too much, but others would require significant investment of time from multiple developers, which would slow down new business.
Guess the pay is ok, so that's something... -
Why is it that so many developers have trash tier hardware? Sometimes I feel like 90% of developers are hardware retards. You work on a computer all day why the fuck are you running one from the early 2,000's that takes a year to boot and can barely run the applications you need? Hardware is a lot cheaper than time and better hardware will save a huge amount of time. And why the fuck do so many devs use laptops? Trashy little craptastic aluminium shit cans folding under the weight of the heat they produce. The more work you do the slower they go. Meanwhile I sit back on my heavily over clocked, water cooled, desktop and fly through workloads that laptop users wouldn't begin to be able to think about. So basically buy a desktop with high end hardware and you'll be amazed what you can get done and how much less painful stuff will be. And if you need to go mobile just grab a Chromebook and remote into your desktop. You'll be happy you did.20
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About 4-5 hours ago I wanted to make simple websocket to get input from textarea and parse it on server and somehow got myself into developing in asyncio -> aiohttp -> graphql-core -> graphql-ws -> aioredis
and svelte-> typescript
I still didn’t make the stuff I wanted but I’m very close on backend at least.
I have some frontend part somewhere in my old prototypes so it will be faster if I figure out svelte.
Still don’t understand what the fuck just happened.
Maybe it’s because I wanted try those frameworks for a long time.
All ‘simple’ examples I found have around 20-30 files for backend and same amount for frontend so more then 50 files to get this shit working.
They’re called oh irony “simple chat”.
Now I see why no one fucking understands this shit.
I’m trying to cut mine to 5 files.
I thought developers are lazy bastards who don’t like write code.
But now after this they’re all looking like adhd coders.
Looks like Monday won’t be my best day.9 -
One day, one of my clients asked me to re-design their website that is running on Wix. I thought It was not a big deal... Just a couple fucking drag-drops & boom.
But while designing, I realized what a fucking piece of shit Wix developers made over time. I've never used to suck a disgusting website builder ever in my entire life.
I write codes to build any type of website, web app etc. I was happily living my dev life. But, after using Wix for 24 fucking hours, I hate my job as a web developer.
Wix is so bad that I lose all my confidence & doubt about my 5 years of web development career.
Fucking piece of shit.4 -
I present to you a php framework with an "orm" that doesnt support table joins. Yes, you heard it right.
I just want to say few things to the developers community -
If you are a bad programmer, please spend your time at improving rather than writing frameworks, or making the stupid decision on using SUCH SHIT FRAMEWORK AT A CORPORATE COMPANY!
Also if you are not sure if you are a good programmer or not, chances are you aren't. That's just how it is.6 -
Dear managers:
Don't rush developers when they're reviewing code - telling them to cut corners.
You're not a dev (anymore). This shit is important if you want a system that doesn't blow up / takes months to make a simple change.
It's my name going against this approval and I (and the team) have to live with the code every day11 -
DFW the client decides to not renew the contract, and so their start hiring their own developers. This guy decides to fix a layout problem by putting everything in a table element, breaking a bunch of other shit he didn't test for before committing. Fucking end me now, please.
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Today I was told that full stack is another name for a shit developer who wont be able to develop anything good because they aren't focused on one skill.
But it was by a person who claims to like OOP but doesn't know the 4 principles, SOLID, GoF, or DDD. So I take it with salt. But he claims his entire company follows this philosophy.
I think that some developers just decide that they're hot shit and refuse to talk about any other skills they don't know about since they must not be needed if they don't know them. Code is code.9 -
This is the first time I've been on a project with a developer that is incredibly slow. Almost an entire month has passed, and this particular developer is still working on a story. In fact, it's the only story the devs picked up.
I work for a consulting organisation, and this particular developer and I are the only ones engaged on this project.
I am also the senior developer. I have tried numerous times to help speed things up by suggesting if there are blockers to hit me up so we can get it resolved.
At this point, I'm not entirely sure what to do. Should I report this back to the company I work for, or should I shut my mouth and say nothing because it isn't my problem?3 -
I started my first ever job with PHP, and I was blown away by how simple it was to pick up. This was in 2006.
I am now looking at some code that was written by contractors in PHP. Holy shit, these guys are worse than the beginner me in 2006! And these are "professional PHP developers".
I am also slowly realizing why everyone and their cat hates PHP :/ -
Started learning to code and built applications using spring, hibernate, jsf and sql dbs. Never called ourselves 'full stack bitches'! And now, with these JS toys around, no one is less than a full stack ninja! Fckin' full stack experts everywhere!5
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Have you ever got a situation that while working on a CMS (like this Drupal piece of shit), you wake some JavaScript code up?
Lead dev : "Yeah the zoom doesn't work anymore, go and debug it"
Me : "k I'm on it"
*Opens file, start to put 3 or 4 console.log() around to see where things start to break
*it breaks since the beginning why not*
*Starts to play around with variables*
*Result are 'normal'*
*Change edited line to what it was before*
*Code works fine*
*What the hell*
*Git revert /js/script.js*
*Empties cache*
*Code works as it was supposed to do before*
I swear to god I work here since January, this is the 3rd time it happens. Now I'm sure the project has a soul since it stole it from the developers that worked on it before me1 -
Windows defender, this is for you:
GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU CANCEROUS PIECE OF SHIT!
If you were as advanced as you claim to be you'd realize that the EXE you've just deleted originated from a compiler. Unfortunately, your target group exclusively consists of people that are incapable of using anything that goes beyond a web browser.
If your developers would have some kind of integrity it would allow you to be turned off permanently instead of making users leave the Windows platform entirely.
Do Microsoft employees even eat their own dog food like they did back in the golden NT era?8 -
If you are a developer and you are proud of the work you contribute whilst remaining open minded, I applaud you. If you are a developer and you are overly proud of what you do, and you believe the work you contribute to a software project caries more value than the work another developer contributes, then go fuck yourself.
I am sick and tired of working on teams with people who are self-righteous. What you bring to the table is important, but it isn't the only thing brought to the table, so stop acting like what you brought to the table is the best thing on the fucking table.
What makes it worse is when someone disagrees with your work and you aren't willing to take any of it. You deny their opinion as if yours is vastly superior. YOU need to improve your teamwork skills, YOU need to stop being so arrogant and self-righteous, YOU are the problem.2 -
How the fuck does that retard Zuckerberg manage to spend this much money on his metaverse and hardly have anything to show for? What are the developers actually working on? I mean, if you had that many people working that long on something you'd expect at least a product that looked all right, even if no one wanted to use it?!
I bet you could put a team of 20 top shelf developers, designers, QA and project managers together and give them 2 years to build almost anything we see today. A facebook clone, a Twitter clone, some sort of virtual reality look-at-my-perfect-but-empty-life-click-to-like piece of social shit-verse.. What the hell are they spending their time on?!!8 -
They must be losing good developers at Google, because all of their shit is slowing devolving into hot garbage. Bug ridden pieces of shit. I wouldn’t even pay to use anything of theirs anymore - you are probably better off somewhere else…5
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Alike wizards are frowned upon to use magic in front of muggles, we developers are to do the same with our programming jokes.
Those muggles shit never get my sorting jokes 😒😒4 -
Holy shit, Zapier (https://zapier.com) is so powerful!
I hate it! 😅
I was just messing around with it and in 2 hours managed to implement the whole functionality of a project I had just quoted a client 20 hours for in custom Python.
It is genuinely a threat to several types of developers' jobs.3 -
So in grade 11 (2 years ago),i had to do something called "job shadowing".basically you choose a profession and you go to a workplace. My cousin (who's in the same SAP industry)got me into this SAP development place.there were like quite a few "developers" but mostly business analysts.they made me learn this (in my oppinion) absolute shit language called ABAP which I found to be mostly glorified SQL . First I had to just create a small program which I did in like a few minutes after my mentor taught me the basic commands but you have to learn alot of module numbers and other shit.and guess what ,I remember I had to end one liners with a damn full stop,seriously fucking irritating.
So,worst dev technology I've worked with ever is SAP.Bad thing is my cousin and my uncle are really trying to take me into that bullshit SAP shit of theirs but I always refuse.will never step my foot into a SAP development job ever.3 -
License files.
People don't read them.
They are longer than they should be.
Mostly to hide evil shit the developers are doing.
I am now going to start including the complete works of Shakespeare in my license files.
This means it will have evil shit other people have done included in the file. Will most likely make it meaningless. Nobody will read it anyway.
At the very end I will just write: Don't be a dick.4 -
I'm having to use MS Word again today, and yet again I want to punch my computer in the balls, and frankly I could pull a better piece of software out of a pig's arse.
So there is a feature that automatically adds up the figures in a column to give you a total. Useful, right?
No. Because the total doesn't update automatically. There is even a setting somewhere to have it update before save, and when you turn this setting on, it sometimes updates before save depending on what mood it's in.
You can have it reliably update before you "print to pdf", but not before you "save as pdf".
Fine, there's probably another setting buried somewhere that actually works, but why the fuck is it not turned on by default? What kind of moron wants an automatic total that doesn't update automatically?
I first encountered this feature about 20 years ago, and in all that time none of the thousands of developers at MS has thought "this is shit, let's fix it."
But that's what a developer does, surely. They look at things and say "this is shit, let's fix it".
If you've been looking at something that's so obviously shit, and so easily fixed, for 20 years and not had any urge to fix it, you're not a developer, you're a cretin.
The stupidity cries out from the earth for vengeance.5 -
I'm a backend developer who for the last year has been helping the iOS-, Android and Frontend team with rewriting their shit.
Now I got yelled at for not making any new features on the backend, and we need to ship fast. So my manager dropped all further work on our backend, since it clearly needed a rewrite, since there have been no new features which to him indicates bad code that is hard to change.
Now all the developers are rewriting their applications to fit the new backend created by some new guy, which for some reason is stuck in creating a log-aggregator from scratch instead of the actual product. -
One of the worst things I did in my career as a developer was that when i had to change an offer form in our SAP System. My boss told me to change the prices in a form in our SAP system. Normally the key users do that but our SAP System is so fucked up that sometimes the developers have to do it because you have to write directly into the database. So I wanted to look up which table it was and what I saw scared me.
IT WAS A FUCKING IMAGE.
So I used paint to edit the prices in the image and re-uploaded the image. Shame on me but I didn't wanted to change that shit. I have other things to do than that. -
Things that piss me the fuck off about user programs(in this case text editors):
No fucking documentation or signs of it available, a promise from like 3 years ago to post: tutorials/actual docs and yet unfulfilled shit. Yet the author sells the editor, you can get a free version of it, but the extension api is only given in the paid version. It's like $12 bucks, which depending on where you are from is really the cost of a meal.
The editor in question is 4coder, seems like a good stack for building C/C++ based applications with a lot of cool utilities underneath, I see dudes using it to create a lot of cool shit online, but things like moving input, stopping the thing from formatting pasted code etc etc. Shit, even reaching the documentation is fucky, you get the names of the commands......ok...awesome...wtf do I do with these? Why do i need to watch a 20+ minute tutorial from the developer instead of being able to read a retarded ass tutorial regarding how to do the most basic shit? For an editor that is set to replace Emacs and Vim for developers inside of a windows platform....it sure is lacking AF in that regards.
I really want to work with this thing because it seems to be made with a lot of heart, just can't stand the fact that the documentation is lacking like a motherfucker4 -
Why can't people just do their fucking jobs? How hard is it to understand? Managers keep time, resources and risks in check and inform the developers. Developers develop and test the system. How the fuck do we have manager for agile, manager for program a manager for program b, risk mitigation manager, this shit manager that shit manager . For fucks sake with this much management we should be like fuckin bee nest and not an unorganized mess. In the end it turns out that literally there are more managers than developers just because they cannot fire an incapable idiot and they hire the next one. It is plain fucking simple - if you are not fit for the job get lost or make yourself fit. For fucks sake.
It really makes me wonder are there any well organized companies out there? -
Fucking Java 8 java.time package. I want to kill the damn developers of this useless piece of shit code.1
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Has anyone worked as a software developer at a consulting company as a full time employee, not just a contractor? If so, could you offer how the experience was?
I've read a lot of developers shit on consulting positions, but it seems no different then developing a product for clients.9 -
omg fuck you
why did you fucking recreate the fucking db migration on the same fucking version you fucking moron in the fucking develop branch you fucker
sorry it's not my fucking day this piece of shit company with the fucking fake developers
crap, I'm also working in the same company, means that I am also a fucking piece of shit developer6 -
Social media site/app... I think social media is such a saturated market yet everyone seems to think their spin is somehow unique and worthwhile...
Although, not sure if DevRant counts as 'social media' but tbh I see real value in getting developers to form a community, where to profit potential comes from potentially linking developers to recruiters/employers (targeted ads to devs for shit we would want). And devs get a nice platform to socialize and bullshit about things we all experience (ie, the 'community' is real and valuable to us)1 -
What the fuck is going on ???
How the "intermediate" c# developers can't do a simple null safe average of even numbers in an array ?!
Why they still write loops and shit (without any nul checks ofc) while it can be done in 1 line :
array?.Where(x => x % 2 == 0).DefaultIfEmpty(0).Average() ?? 0
WHY ? Even Junior c# dev is supposed to know that shit4 -
Developing IoT prototype, from Linux platform, via Java servers to front-end web-ui has made me fear and praise all these JS developers.
On one hand they are the heroes of modern technology, on the other hand they are bat shit crazy sadomasochistic lunatics riding their frameworks through a sea of users complains and runtime errors1 -
To all the developers and designers that build these fancy motion-blur and depth-of-field effects for videogames.
In the name of all gamers, I want to tell you,
We hate what you are doing.
Stop this shit.2 -
Thinking really hard about starting my own retro pc collection starting with the NEC pc-98 ......hmmmmmm wondee how my wife would feel about me spending money in this shit
Recently I have taken to all things retro tech, always liked it really, specially since my mom showed me pics of me playing with an old commodore 64 when i was younger as well as another of a family friend showing me the sharp 68k this shit fuels my appetite for knowing more about the programming ways of the old school coders. Some pretty interesting stuff, I feel that the newer generations would benefit greatly by knowing the things we had to do in order to build efficient programs back in the day. Not to say that I was part of that at all. I was born in 1991, how I came to see these systems is unknown and forgotten by me, but something that none the less os part of my story in computing.
Because of the industry that surrounds me I have been dealing with working with web development, but shit is really not that much of a passion of mine, had I the skills more than the academic knowledge I would love to work with low level C code all day, I just feel that the things that developers do there are so much more interesting than handilg web development, web development is tedious and a current shitstorm, not to say that shit was not like that for the programmers that i am referencing, but i just want more.
Web development has made me a successful man, at 28 i am the head of my department, I might sound like a Disney princess but I want more, I want more knowledge and more experience in different areas of Computer Science. I want to know it all and it seems like time continuously goes against me.
Oh well, here is to a new year lads, see what i can do.3 -
I fucking hate it when the manager comes up with an idea in his head. For him, the idea is the coolest because he itrated over it many times, but you shit fuck the idea needs to run when you transform it into code. Did u think about it?!
No, whatever it is, developers will figure out a way. Fuck off!!2 -
I FUCKING HACK ANDROID DEVELOPERS SERVER IF THIS SHIT DOES NOT WORK I HAVE BEEN LITERALLY WAITING IN THIS STATE FOR AN FUCKING HOUR.
STOP IT.
STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.STOP IT.PLEEEEEEEASE11 -
Maybe this is naive, but I feel if an application/feature is strategically important to a company, at least two developers should always be assigned to support it routinely. This great resignation is no joke, and I’m getting tired of being the last man standing here. I’m too old for this shit.8
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Customer: The quality of the software you’re delivering is going down
Me: That’s because we’re developers, support, and spend all day on meetings without mentioning that deadlines are defined by you, not the technical team
Project Manager: I have added more members to the team so you can deliver faster
Me: That’s just slowing us down because this inherited code is shit, there’s no documentation and we’re always in a rush, without time for a proper ramp up
Customer: *throws money to our faces* I’ll remove two weeks to this delivery so we can test it better
Me: …1 -
Seriously anything mozilla developers touch turns to shit, what the fuck, pdf.js was working just fine before, rendering a pdf in under half a second, now it visibly fucking does a tv scan loading a 100x100 pdf, good job you fucking cunts, you did it again, same you did to vanilla firefox, you did to pdf.js, not to mention that they fucking change their variables that the library exposes every fucking week.7
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*Be project manager/most senior developer*
*Higher up tells you there is only enough money to hire recent graduates/internees, the cream of the pie, and that I can't hire fewer developers with more experience*
*Code is shit as result*
*Feels anger towards the developer that did it*
*Feels sorry because that developer is actually trying really hard and is diligent even if he is inexperienced*
*Change anger object to higher management*
*Repeat* -
Just TYPO3 things:
in your config constants doing "styles.content.textmedia.maxWInText = 450" should basically crop all your images to a maximum width of 450 using ImageMagick except TYPO3 flips it's shit and won't do it.
After about an hour or so of debugging and guessing around with 2 other developers setting "styles.content.textmedia.maxWInText" to "500" will actually work. Every other number except 450 works.
Using TYPO3 is like preparing for hell.1 -
I have no specialty, I’m a total generalist. Frameworks and buzzword tech is only useful to me if it makes it easier to code without extraneous syntax, or if I need to know it for the job! Recruiters hate hearing this, they want someone who lives, eats and breathes react.js! They want someone with PASSION for easier (or harder due to shit design) ways to do easy things bc ITS FUTURE! React separates true developers from code monkeys! You never heard of Deno? Serverless NOSQL? BAH! Back to your cave, you bickering caveman! MY DIVINE RECRUITINESS DEEMETH THEE UNWORTHY FOUL WORM6
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To all self made seniors (and those who got granted this title because it was a morale boost): is it really so difficult to grasp ideas like: Single responsibility? Don't repeat yourself? Encapsulation?
Seriously? Is it difficulty level of some quantum physics or what?
I'm not a fucking genius myself either, but when I see 300-500 LoCs function, accepting 10 parameters, having half of code duplicated in different parts of solution - I really wanna start firing people ON THE SPOT.
P.s.
To all shitty developers advocates - I know that everyone makes mistakes sometimes - I'm talking here about consistent "don't give a shit about code" behaviour.23 -
I want to love and support pons for providing a good dictionary for free, but the api is literally worse than just scraping the website...3
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Gonna rant about graphic design 'cos it's where I started this journey.
The hardest people to design for are creative people, photographers, musicians, artists etc.. because they think graphic design is just a small extension to their existing skills. Please Fuck Off! Also same goes for developers, graphic design is a discipline you have to study and takes years to perfect the art. I find it examples of non designed 'design' every day and it sickens me. Just look around at all the shite van livery, bad logos, shit menus, fucking junk mail etc... sometimes it can be torture....
But I don't think coding is easy, I respect the art and learn constantly, it amazes me how typing some shit can make awesome things happen. Devs rock!1 -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.rant poor infra complicated as fuck punch holed abstractions we do what we want brain farts materialized in code no brains needed4 -
Is it just me or do software developers get the shit end of the stick in absolutely every project?4
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Welp, it is panic attack time. Can't sleep because of work stress, which stresses me out even more. Can't get my work done because of bullshit meetings I can't skip. Coworkers are possibly being purposefully idiotic. Can't take vacation because we are in the middle of shit. I am not even coding, just writing documentation about the same crap everyday because of perviously mentioned idiotic developers. They have the same info as me, but refuse to work on even a draft version until I paint a screen WITHOUT the button they need to remove. I want to code so I can point at it and feel good, but no. And people keep talking to me. FUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!3
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OH MY FUCKING GOD. I HATE
H A T E
ACQUIA SITE STUDIO.
"Let's make a low-code 'solution' for developers who barely can stand working on Drupal as it is, and make the completely easy and perfect process of styling a website, COMPLETELY UNBEARABLE!"
Yea this is a great idea, experienced developers can now spend hours trying to fucking find where a single style is coming from. Oh it was too easy to cmd+f a stylesheet or a codebase to find something particular? Yea FUCK THAT. Lets turn EVERY SINGLE STYLE into a unsearchable .yml file where every style definition is now a machine hash. WAY easier to use. Isn't it so cool to fucking click on styles from a dropdown where they come off the edge of the screen. FUCK whichever stupid fuck came up with this dog shit nonsense. I fucking HATE this soul crushing work.2 -
Lately I take work literally seriously, not due to motivation but due to fear, more on that later, but this is what I think about lately while I'm working
> that line of code should fix it
> oh shit I should've checked logs
> let me check logs
> let me put 10 breakpoints in code and javascript in chrome
> why is this bug not reproducing?
> why I have to work on someone else's spaghetti code?
> this loop iterates over all customers' data I'll just step over it, Oh fuck I resumed
etc etc
I'm feared because where I live, isn't a good place for software developers as there aren't companies which hire, those who hire need ninja developers who complete 1 JIRA Sprint/Phase in 1 day, Here I feel safe as there are people to correct me plus coffee machine -
think the downside to rust is safe is holy shit I haven't even seen passable code
everybody shits on JavaScript developers but I think their code quality is obviously better (cuz otherwise if you make it unreadable or a mess there's no debugging that)
the problem with rust is it's safe so you can write the dumbest shit and if the compiler says it works then it works so you just keep it there
over and over I just see this
90% of this codebase is literally useless moves and abstractions that you could've cut out
to be fair I'm only now learning how to reduce clutter in rust (but I do have literal brain damage)
but I'm not sure I've ran into a codebase not suffering from this
also on the other hand it inspires me to care as little as these guys. the bar is so low you can just ignore the bar. one of us, one of us, one of us. if it compiles it is production ready, ayyo2 -
Working in an Agile software development department (12 dev teams, >100 developers) inside a very old school traditional business (15000 staff, several billion annual turnover) is an uphill struggle that I don’t know if I have the energy to persevere with.
New year is making me think I push the launch button on a product that I spent all of last year building.
For context I should add that I am a senior person / leader in the department so I have to deal with a lot of shit from the suits. -
I am on a forum that is mainly professional developers. The forum is specific to one library that is owned by the company that runs the forum. The participants are mainly volunteers as the project is open source. Most of the time it is great place to exchange experiences and help new comers to the library. However lately there has been a rash of shit posts about needing help with shit unrelated to the library.
I get it on some level, but come on people try to understand what the forum is about first. Don't bring your OS and hardware issues that have nothing to do with the library. Also, go fucking read the GPL/LGPL and any other license you have questions about. Seriously, if you want to be a developer you need to at least have an idea of what you can and cannot do. Software is an IP field. Learn what IP is and the rules to follow.
I was feeling like a jerk yesterday and started giving bogus answers to obviously unrelated questions. I know, not very pro like, but come on people! The guy was asking about monitor resolutions and changes since he updated his window manager. It was his first post on the forum. He was kind of sassy too. At least my state of mind at the time interpreted it that way...1 -
So I had this conversation yesterday while fixing yet another Windows laptop for someone else.
Other Guy = OG
Me = Me (Duh)
OG: So what are your plans after your apprenticeship?
Me: Uh, I'll probably start somewhere that's e-commerce related, kinda like my current company but somewhere else.
OG: Uh have you thought about being your own boss?
Me: Well yeah, but I wouldn't know how to attract customers and shit
-- This is the moment shit gets real
OG: OH BTW I heard that Germany is lacking AI developers, you should do that! It earns you shitloads of cash!
Me: Uhm.. well, that might be true b-
OG: There's no but dude, it's free money, you're smart.. I mean you can fix any computer, right? AI will be just as easy
Me: It's not like-
OG: Duh, don't make yourself look so bad I know you can do it!
Me: B..But I'm not interested in it at all
*silence for 5 seconds*
OG: Well.. I guess you do you then
After that we continued to have random chit-chat about his job and experience (He's a mechanic)
God I hate when people throw buzzwords around and try to convince other people to do what *they* want.
No, I don't want to develop a structure of 1000 ifs/elses, I'd rather keep doing what I'm doing, thanks!6 -
No proper normalization and database structure practices seems to continue to be the bane of my fucking existence at work.
One would think that it would be the quirks carried through by the language stacks in question, those are fucking absolutely ridiculously horrible by the way, y'all think you've seen bad Javascript and PHP? these would make you cry, laugh, wonder in amazement and then fucking pity me and eventually buy me a beer NO JOKE.
Y'all think you have seen some obscenely unoptimized SQL code? think of the worst fucking possible output from the shitty-est most error prone boundary checking inefficient ORM out there and multiply it by 10k. Then refer to my other point, and do the same thing for me which culminates in alcoholic consumption.
Worst thing? the developer that wrote most of this is a college level TEACHER rn....i've met the smug piece of shit, he acted severely condescending to everyone around him and I just smiled because I know how much of a piece of shit he is.
The other dude in question (it was two of them that I am talking about) left for another city and currently holds a senior developer position....i-fucking-magine that.
Fuck I hate these mfkers and I really wish they gave me a chance to fucking blow up on them.2 -
This is kind of a loaded question because it's so broad. So I'll just throw my thoughts down on the idea anyways.
Honestly with all the way that game dev has come it's so sad to see just the increase of people that are so ungrateful and dont appreciate what went into making it. Complaining about small not a big deal bugs that occur, blaming the devs for stuff that's completely not up to them but the "idea man", etc. Although good things are coming out of it. Like children wanting to get into it more which is awesome and indie developers basically holding up the industry while majority of the AAA companies get their shit together. So I see all of that increasing. Also I'm expecting to see the Rust language start to be used in AAA titles replacing C++
Web dev I believe will just get more JavaScript improvement with new libraries, frameworks. I really hope the companies that had PHP5 legacy code get back on their feet quickly. But I hope we can become more accepting of JavaScript doing more than just webdev like Electron, WebGL, etc. Because I think it's great that it can do all that stuff. Is there better options hell yeah but let's let people do crazy shit.
Software dev well I see python making a bigger uprising and I'm hoping people become more accepting of python as well.
These are all just random thoughts so please take that into consideration -
Me : .. but sir without sass/js compiled, how can we address the issue?
Boss : that is not an issue, issue is with on approach we have taken?
You sick fuck, you take other developers un-finished work, expect me to finish it (which it did) and when the other developer is not smart enough to copy paste the solution, you give an "update" to me, I mean how the fuck, what ever..
I really really put efforts to make this shit happen, I know very little about your commerce cloud shit, but when you question my logic on basis of someone who will pay you to finish her work, it is very unethical and hard to swallow it down.
Maybe this is my first real job, that is why this is so hard, but I gotta do what I gotta do -
Oh, here's an environment variable that needs to be set in order to work, not mentioned at all in the documentation, only found when your CI/CD fails, blah blah blah i'm an ignorant human who doesn't give a shit enough or have enough pride in my job to write proper documentation
meanwhile managers and "product types" - we don't care about documentation, just being faster and that newest AI blockchain chatbot that we need now even though we don't understand the first damn thing about it, slop slop barf barf
Source, not a small at all org: it's the docker orb: https://circleci.com/developer/...
You need to set the docker password as an environment variable, its not just an amazing 3 step magic wand as the 'steps' suggest
yawn
but you know what? waste my time, as well as all the other developers down the road, that's just how it is these days you know2 -
I hate how people who’ve never written a line of code complain about video game developers....I’m going to school for CS and a friend of mine is in school for Game Development and from our combined knowledge of how the shit works, it just pisses me off when people complain about how they want new stuff in there games but than complain about bugs and glitches in the game. Like motherfucker it’s essentially a program, if your bitch ass wants new contents with no bugs make it your damn self.6
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To the developers that still use flash player for their games, fuck you.
My grandma wants to play some games and i can't fuckin make it work since your piece of shit games still use that piece of shit flash that in 2 years will be dropped fuckin scumbags. And now i'm trying to find a way either to explain to her how retarded you are or find a browser that supports this piece of shit.2 -
I'm envious of Backend developers who can just 'see' the problem domain and start creating an architecture. I can't see shit - I just stare blankly at the project and I think: hm, what models do I write?
I know I'm a structured person, but I lack the knowledge and practice. One day I'll be able to do this, but for now I have to keep doing things ad hoc.
I really don't belong in the Backend but unfortunately that's how my career is turning out for now. All I know is I have to get better at this.2 -
First day of new job. No more rants about Blue Prism, that's in the past now. New year new me!
Time to go back to rant against backend developers and their fucking Laravel.
First lesson of the day: if I see another select2 I'm gonna commit war crimes. You see this nice plugin for jQuery, you use it everything's so cool and modern and you think you're the smart one of the team 'cause you don't know you've just polluted an otherwise perfectly fine web page with the dirtiest js shit you could possibly find, just because you didn't feel like searching one more minute for whatever replacement for a drop down you can easily find.
You're not the smart one. You're a criminal.4 -
Do technical recruiters think that developers memorize the technical definitions by heart instead of using them in a seamless way?
What do they want? A dev who knows how to memorize or the one who knows how to implement.
I am really angry and i feel so uncomfortable when they ask me about a specific question and consider it wrong when they don't receive exactly the same answer.
Like one the recruiter told me: well how are you expecting from me to accept you as a developer while you don't know the definition of "technical term".
Dude i learned the hard way by building projects, watching videos, implementation, analysis. I am not going to read 70000 pages to understand the root of a coding language.
You fuckin need the output so focus on this shit.
Damn i feel so angry. Sorry in advance2 -
According to devRant there are a lot of bad developers. How did they get hired and did they like and know what they were doing?(i also wonder how many devs think programming is shit just because they never properly align and arrange the code?)3
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its kinda comforting knowing that even professional developers google shit because if i don't practice for even a day i forget everything ive ever learned2
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To all the laravel developers: is there no way to get a clean new app without having to clean out all the default shit? Lumen seems to be pretty good for minimalism, but obv. doesnt provide as much as Laravel, so what do you use or do - do you each time clean out a laravel app before you start developing on it?..5
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Need some advice here.
So hello everyone! I recently moved abroad for work, for the sake of the experience and the excitement of learning how developers in Latin America tackle specific problems. To my surprise, the dev team is actually composed solely of Europeans and Americans.
I work for a relatively new startup with an ambitious goal. I love the drive everyone has, but my major gripe is with my team lead. He's adverse to any change, and any and all proposals made to improve quality of throughput are shot down in flames. Our stack is a horrendous mess patched together with band-aids, nothing is documented, there are NO unit tests for our backend and the same goes for our frontend. The team has been working on a database/application migration for about a month now, which I find ridiculous because the entire situation could have been avoided by following very rudimentary DevOps practices (which I'm shunned for mentioning). I should also add that for whatever reason containerization and microservices are also taboo, which I find hillarious because of our currently convoluted setup with elastic beanstalk and the the constant complaints between our development environment and production environments differing too much.
I've been tasked with managing a Wordpress site for the past 3 weeks, hardly what I would consider exciting. I've written 6 pages in the past two weeks so our marketing team can move off of squarespace to save some money and allow us more control. Due to the shit show that is our "custom theme" I had to write these pages in a manner that completely disregard existing style rules by disabling them entirely on these pages. Now, ironically they would like to change the blog's base theme but this would invertedly cause other pages created before I arrived to simply not work, which means I would have to rewrite them.
Before I took the role of writing an entire theme from scratch and updating these existing pages to work adequately, I proposed moving to a headless wordpress setup. In which case we could share assets in a much more streamline manner between our application and wordpress site and unify our styles. I was shot down almost immediately. Due to a grave misunderstanding of how wordpress works, no one else on the team seems to understand just how easy it is to fetch data from wordpress's api.
In any event, I also had a tech meeting today with developers from partner companies and realized no one knew what the fuck they were talking about. The greater majority of these self proclaimed senior developers are actually considered junior developers in the United States. I actually recoiled at the thought that I may have made a great mistake leaving the United States to look a great tech gig.
I mean no disrespect to Latin America, or any European countries, I've met some really incredible developers from Russia, the Ukraine, Italy, etc. in the past and I'm certainly not trying to make any blanket statements. I just want to know what everyone thinks, if I should maybe move back to the states and header over to the bay/NY. I'm from the greater Boston area, where some really great stuff is going on but I guess I also wanted a change of scenery.2 -
When you get a job that is advertised as a software development job, but you end up doing 80% software development and 20% help desk support tickets.
Sometimes I really hate this industry. Also, what is it with people assuming software developers can just wave a fucking wand and make shit work? FUARKKKKKK!
Free overtime when we're deploying too, fuck yes! I love free overtime!1 -
So here is an interesting story.
The company that I work went in collaboration with another company and as my company is a small startup we had only 2 employees. We had to do 2 different projects during the collaboration period.
I was put in-charge of an android application (At that time I had no experience of android development and it was one of their most important project without any guidance)
I was doing work of two companies and getting paid by one and I was getting shit from the company that we were collaborating with.
As a developer I value tasks and deadline but the company issued a new rule that I should stay in the office from 9-6 (strictly) which I didn't oppose. But the senior developers here stay strictly 9-6 but work only for about less 2 hours a day and get valued more.
I used to love working on weekends improving myself in the process but working over time is not valued by the company.
( BTW I completed their project in about 1.5 months ) -
This is a post to congratulate a certain developer.
Mortal kombat 11 has had a rough start. First people found out it used denuvo, then people were mad that there were microtransactions (all items are obtainable trough gameplay and they are only kosmetic) then there was some kontroversy about a certain character saying something political. After that people tried playing the new towers of time mode. And it was fucking hard. Way too hard. And you know what netherrealm did? (I'm looking at you bungie you filthy pieces of shit) they said they were going to look into it and they gave everyone a huge amount of every currency. That is how you apologize. Aspiring game developers, take note.15 -
Oh boy it's one of those days again. Fuck developers who look down on systems engineers. We don't help you build/deploy your applications, you ain't got shit. I did honestly believe devops would help bridge the gap, but these fucks are still up on their nonsensically invisible pedestals. So fuck you.1
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!dev
So my company says they are paying the market rate, and I should be grateful about it. When I went for interviews at "some big companies", I got offers from 2 different companies with the annual pay x2.5 of what I am getting here.
My current company mentality is so shitty that they only want to hire undergrads or people from oversea so they can pay less.
I do not even know what my fucking role is at this point, I do DevOps, I fucking do infra, I also do SRE shit, then I also write fucking code for servers. Yet my pay is slightly less than just "dev" working at good companies. Fuck my company, I am leaving soon.
I am not the only one in the shit show here, our PM also has to write code because most of our developers left. Most of the time, CTO is not even in the office, the company is basically run by some managements below CTO.6 -
I'm so confused by our architecture and development process in general
We planned what features are to be implemented (e.g. what endpoints should do what), but there are parts of tasks which depend on others, and I'm not sure what classes to build or when to start a task given that related ones are being done by other developers, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing
I could maybe do all of this alone my way if it was just me, but when I ask in planning about how we should go about implementing shit together, I just get backlash from this senior developer telling me we shouldn't waste time discussing implementation details in planning
Like, what the fuck do you want me to fucking do, just implement all the dependencies of what I'm doing from zero, without reusing any of the code other devs are doing that touches on the same parts?
Fucking hell, man, this is the third sprint where I'm confused like this
Maybe I'm just too dumb to be a developer after all lol5 -
Is it weird that I hold a high degree of respect for every sector in programming. When we talk about front-end, back-end in websites to the GUI support and logical end in desktop applications to cloud-based microservices, I respect clean, swift, and agile developers who who a structural mindset. For the founding fathers of assembly to high-programming languages like c all the way to high-high level programming languages like C#, JavaScript, Python, I respect them and thank them for their time and dedication in relatively stable libraries. I also thank the creators of OOP and FP as well as the developers that make great use of these paradigms. I come to realization that no one wants to fuck shit up; the great engineers of our past wanted to build some legit, non-trash programming tools, and we can't bash them for that. Respect, courteously critique, and build applications and programming tools to a standard that someone in the future would admire and be grateful for.4
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Thread about Quality Analysts/Testers!
I've seen that Managers and HR get a lot of shit thrown their way but I'm surprised to see no love for our QA friends
What was your worst experience with a QA/Software Tester? When was the last time you felt like punching your monitor over an argument with them?
If you're a QA, what has been your worst experience with developers?6 -
I see a major shift coming up im regards of how we continue to evolve the way our applications work in regards to web based solutions. Http was not meant to do the shit that we are doing today, yeah it works, but it continues to feel like a hack. The advent of A.I and WebAssembly will probably make developers more mindful about compilers and truly optimized code. Languages such as Rust are pointing in the right direction in terms of speed and safety and as our computers become more powerful so will our way to communicate with them. Eventually damn near every web based solution will include A.I even when it is not needed at all.
Regardless of what happens. Yo ass is not going to stop hearing about C++, SQL, and Javascript(top kek)1 -
I blame developers for Windows epidemic. If no one develop for windows, there will be no software for that shit, and there for, there will be no user for that shit.11
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Sometimes I wonder if other developers in my team are paid by lines of codes they produce, because I cannot find explanation for shit they write
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Why do I see so many developers in the game community asking if a <insert tool> is usable for making a game? (I see it a bit here too for language and framework suggestions.)
Then I started thinking that these people either don't know what they want to do or they don't research the tools to find out what the capabilities are. Yes a certain percentage don't have a clue and are asking out of complete nativity.
However, as a developer I have always looked into features I think I need and base decisions on that. Often times spending a couple of days to play with the tool. Learn by doing.
Then I got a bit philosophical. Are the people asking these questions because their value system is based upon collectivism rather than merit? They will be in for a rude awakening when they cannot finish a project on time or at all when a feature is not there.
I get it on some level though. Sometimes we gotta know if something is complete shit.3 -
XSS mitigation is a pain in the ass.
After all this time, with all the brilliant developers around the world, why haven't we found a sane way to mitigate this shit by default?
Shit!8 -
OMF you motherfucking Eclipse developers. All I want is to build an application with SWT. WHY THE FUCKING FUCK is that near impossible.
1) why are there no SWT maven artifacts= only 3 year old ones on a custom github repo?
2) why is is fucking rocket science to even find a guide on how to build this fucking piece of shit yourself
3) WHY THE FRIGGIN FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS is it so hard to build it your self - outdated docs .... nice, dead links and repos, nicer .... referenced maven artifacts from a non-existing, none-documented repo, ... wow you're really kickin it here.
All I want is to fix this nullpointer in this fucking piece of shit you call framework ...
Have you actually tried to read your docs (can we really call that shit docs?) from a none-100years-swt dev's point of view?
Noone understands shit!
Why is there no standard build system, like maven, grade or for fuck's sake even ant?
It almost feels if you devs don't want anyone use your abomination, so it can die in peace.
Arg, I could puke ...5 -
So tired of app developers localizing app information with Google Translate. Use a real person that can READ AND WRITE IN THE FUCKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE or scrap the entire translation and do marketing in English. And Google? Why the fuck do you allow people to embarrass themselves by providing machine translated SHIT in the Store Listing options?
Some gems found on Google Play Store, translated from Norwegian to English the way I as Norwegian interpret them.
Reddit: Reddit is a collection of bank interest rate society: cats, piks, politics and more.
eBay: Offer, to buy, to sell. Turn pages offering and save on clothes Sjoeping, used cars and more
Huuuge Casino: New social castls and casino a sensation! Now play FREE!
And finally, devRant 😂: Social networks to get a contact with other developers than funny qalz about tekk.1 -
Anyone used "Showwcase"? Branded as a "social network for devs"
Was reading an article, seems a bit shit, but thoughts?
Article:
https://blog.greenroots.info/why-do...
Url:
https://www.showwcase.com/14 -
Developer: “Fix this”
Developer: “You should test your code”
Developer: “You should rigorously test your code before pushing it to qa”
Intern: “it was working on my local machine ( shared my screen and showed him)”
Developer: “Do you test your code before deploying to qa?”
I’m fucking frustrated working 8-10 hours a day and listening to this condescending shit after making one mistake.
Now I’ve asked other developers and they think I was rude so tomorrow I have a 1:1 with my manager .
I’m just counting my days now.8 -
1. Cool side projects
2. Learning new things and revisiting old concepts and tricky findings in my notes
3. Remembering all the times that I absolutely crushed it
4. Helping new developers and engineers who are not that well rounded but really curious about building things. you never look good trying to make someone else look bad so always try to help others. it’s fucking annoying sometimes though.
5. Posting shit on devRant and seeking validation -
How the fuck can people acutally work with freaking windows?!
I use a dual boot with ubuntu and windows, the only reason why there is a small piece of windows is because i like to play games some time, and the freaking developers who are coding them are afraid of windows or whatever ...
Anyway, i wanted to try something with windows and app virtualization which required me to use windows. Holy shit everything is so freaking complicated if you want to do it not with a gui. Need some admin rights, ... no dont use the terminal you need to right click 'run as admin' and shit. I mean wtf?!
How can people who have a freaking idea of what they are doing using windows?!
Every f*cking minute with that shitty os feels like a hour. 2 blue screens so far, and it seems m$ decided to download some updates that freaking block my work and getting my pc to lag ... what a piece of sh*t!21 -
I'm currently taking a computer science degree (which sounds too fancy) at a school that has a really close relationship with a software company called "Unik". Now that makes a lot of sense given how it's a vocational university and all. Now one of the things they teach us for making GUIs is called Windows Forms, and it's really really shit. So shit that me and one of my mates has started to use something called WPF instead (which is like HTML in a lot of ways. And so much better.) How much better? Well we had a bigger project recently with 3 other people who had never programmed before, and their reaction? "It makes so much more sense."
Now what I find really fascinating is that whenever I stumble upon any job posting from Unik, they always seek developers who knows WPF.
I'm pretty happy that I've programmed since 2012 since this place seems really odd at times 😂 -
I have a BlackBerry KeyONE, because quite frankly I type more than I watch video or other shit on my phone.
For a few years now the keyboards have also acted as a track pad of sorts. It's nice for scrolling apps without smudging up the screen. Not to mention my fingers are already there most of the time anyways.
The StackExchange app for whatever reason scrolls the wrong direction. It's the only app from dozens that do this. It's so isolated it seems like this is a design issue with SE, not the phone.
You'd think of all the apps, the one for developers wouldn't be the one I have problems with. -
Solo client developers are a fucking nightmare to deal with - especially the lil pretentious patronizing douchebags who talk shit about you and act like they are a better programmer than you to their whole company to make themselves look better and to break up relationships. I wish I had your address so I could ruin your life you stupid waste of space cuntface McGee.3
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I don't know if this is an appropriate question to ask companies you're interviewing with but at this point I don't fucking care. I work for a private multimillion dollar company that specializes in IT.... but goes dumpster diving for the pcs they provide to there employees and even worse the developers that produce the software that makes them millions. I spend 30-40% of my week waiting on this piece of shit computer to do anything from startup to load the most demanding ide out there visual studios to compile the applications.
I'm currently on the job hunt and I fucking refuse to work for another IT company that can't splurge a little bit in providing adequate equipment for the job.... fucking ... refuse.5 -
Not sure if I'm sick or I'm actually in my full sense ....
I reached a point that I'm sick of all that million language to work with, maintain lots of shit, and started to consider using Flutter and get it done.
But I still don't like to build on these things because well, for the lots of trouble I went through in React Native, and yet again in Flutter having to modify several plug-ins because they don't support a simple feature as simple as Authentication header
I thought I'd give SwiftUI a go, but for a starter:
1. No pull to refresh
2. No proper grid (aka UICollectionView)
3. Comparing SwiftUI with Flutter, Google did a better job at keeping things simple
4. Only iOS 13+ supports SwiftUI, their statistics might show 90% using latest update, but that's their target audience, mine might be 90% not on latest update ...
Just some midnight thougts filled with frustration and wondering: How do web developers keep up with those "look ma! I made a new JS Framework!!" their life must be tougher .... -
This is my story.
So, as you know, I'm a developer and so does all of you, but before I know about devRant, I was stuck with Instagram.
Yup, I was stuck with those instagram memes who was made by those social media manager who doesn't know shit about coding and post shitty memes anyway with those #memes #codingmemes #coding #codememes and all that fucking annoying hashtags.
I hate it. I was stuck with it for two years but thank god for the people who told me about this app.
I love it, but, there is some problems. As you may know this social media was created by developers for developers, and I know that this app users is very supportive for other users because of the same profession, but what if non-devs people found out about this app and start doing job offers and spamming at our feeds.
What could we do?5 -
My respect to front-end developers. Since I do fullstack, The con is It takes slightly longer to perfect your front or back end skills since you technically have to put 50/50 your mental energy into it. The Pro however is the appreciation/understanding you get to walk away with for both jobs.
But you really need a certain "eye" to do front end, especially when you find inspiration but you don't want to just copy their shit. Sheesh2 -
My fucking lazy-ass coworkers haven’t made meaningful progress on anything for months. I’m brought in as the tech lead and these stupid fucks didn’t work on any meaningful shit for literal months. Their manager was asleep at the wheel and their old tech leads apparently need months to make a couple of minor database changes.
So I’m brought in to fix it, and… surprise! They’re still lazy pedantic assholes. And they’re shocked - shocked - that people expect them to start completing a project or two per quarter. Like these dense motherfuckers thought that they could be the most annoying pedants this world has ever seen, and also do no work.
I could have done their whole 5 month project myself in a month. No joke. It’s incredibly simple. But somehow the overhead of coordinating people who A. don’t work very hard and B. assume that every ticket needs special attention and 6 hours of ponderous thought has eaten into the time we have.
I don’t respect them in the slightest. They’re such shitty developers. Whoever signed off on their hire was fucking high.6 -
Liferay is a fucking malediction inflicted on the human race, bubonic plague has nothing on Liferay. A staunch advocate of legacy tech, bad documentation, bad APIs and poor UX, Liferay has it all. Scriptlets all day every day. Fuck your hot reloads, a deployment cycle is the shit. Why be productive when you can wait for a deployment? Scientists are still deciphering the enigma of Liferay APIs. Over fifteen arguments per method, some optional, some not, littered with value specific functionality. Happy debugging motherfucker. API design is for hacks and pussies, real developers want to know implementation details. JSP the flagship of frontend tech, scriptlets, the pinnacle of evolution. Liferay has PLENTY of that. Did I mention scriptlets? How about obscure Liferay grown frameworks? MetalJS? A bigger mistake than smoking a pound of meth. Liferay UX, heh, heh, design, user experience hehe, hoho. Best joke I've heard. Liferay and UX, choose one.
I'm out, fuck my life.2 -
Good Experience -
1.)Became proficient in Web development!
2.)Wanted to learn it for a very long time but didn't know where to start, but this year got opportunities to work on some good projects!
3.)Also got to lead a awesome team of good developers in my college!
4.) Got to work on a awsome internship with a very nice employer :)
5.) Became a Devrant Supporter :D
Bad Experience -
1.) Had to face shit ass seniors who blamed me and my team all the time for their inefficiencies.
2.) Team had developed many good projects in android and web for the college,but the stupid seniors failed to implement them,it was a big mood!
3.) I had planned to learn ML and improve my competitive coding and also finish my game,but failed to do so :(.
Hopefully 2018 will be productive:)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 🎆🎄🎅 -
To our front-end developers on here, this shit is annoying and even SO has no definite answer for:
What are the possible ways of hiding a preloader that was shown when the user started a page navigation but ended it prematurely?6 -
Why the fuck do I have to complete situational strength tests related to commercial shit when I'm applying for a Software Developer role? What the fuck is up with companies nowadays? This is why it's a good idea to be your own boss and either do freelance or make your own brand, because these interviewers know jack shit about technology and software and you cannot express your passion nor your knowledge. I'm sick of how bad the employment process is for software developers who are looking for jobs after graduation.
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Hello guys!
Im tired of how the developers hiring process works now days, so im starting to get energy for create something that changes this shit, but i want to make this an Open Source Project.
I write a post on reddit, check it! there i explain more or less what im thinking, but a resume for you:
"A Global and Automated platform, where Developers can apply, and after some testing and data collection, being listed and available for hire in a "Developers Marketplace". Later, Companies, Startups, Organizations and Individuals interested in hire Developers, can Sign In to the platform, and start looking exactly for what they need. In the case of non-technical individuals, there can be automated team assemblers for common workflows."
Get in touch on reddit, or here! lets make a change. Or maybe im just a kid going crazy? :(
The reddit post https://reddit.com/r/opensource/...10 -
Why in the hell does everyone have to have a different fucking CMS and why do they all make it so goddamn difficult to put a simple javascript in the head?
it's 2016 fuckers, sometimes the end user hires a dev to do things and I can't do shit in your fucking site-builder. I want to add a tiny javascript specifically for fb pixel, but frankly this is how most analytics work and it shouldn't be a complicated task for someone to perform if you built a halfway functional fucking CMS.
One simple function is all it would take to let users put a little bit of js in the head, fuck you could even name it something scary to keep idiots away or hide it behind a developers options in the settings or something that would allow someone with the IQ of a dolphin or higher to install some goddamn tracking code on the fucking shitstorm of a site your "builder" came up with.
your SEO practices suck too, but that's a rant for another time2 -
Working on maintenance suck, but that's why most of the software developers do. Stable job and higher pay. Mundane tasks like fix bugs or modify small part of the software.
Working on an idea is interesting in startup. You don't see shit code and code from the ground up. The work is creative. But the pay is low because the company is not profitable.
Which one is your choice?1 -
How the fuck would u be so fucking stupid enough to create a site with EPiServer/Optimizely and it’s piece of shit organization, community, developers, etc… is this some sort of fresh hell I have been banished to? Why am I cursed with working with this horrible, slimy, awful platform. It’s giving me an aneurysm just fucking thinking about how shitty this ecosystem is setup. Someone needs to burn it. Burn it all to the fucking ground, I have had enough and it is a stain on our society.
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So I've been working on a project that has gone to shit, scope isn't clear and deadline is too tight. Developers get dropped into the team to "make it work"
Currently I think it is unavailable to succeed within the deadline. But this got me thinking, how do you actually save such a project? Could a good project lead save a chaotic project? If so... How? (And more importantly to me, how does one become a good project lead, do I need 10+ years of programming experience?) -
Just received code review from interview technical task. 50 percent of it was because of encapsulation (that 5-8 variables could have been private instead of public). 20 percent was about shit that was expected but missing (error validation, dependency injection). It was missing because it was not specified in app requirements and also noone said that I have to build a production level application for a simple interview here. 10 percent was nitpicking about formatting(I used default intellij formatter) and one ide error that appeared because of project importing. And only 20 percent of feedback was actually constructive and useful. Cool. Also developer said that he was shocked that I made loading animation but didnt call it in my app. However I made it, but if you have fast internet connection it doesnt show up. I mean if you run my app on a phone with gprs connection u will see that damn animation. What Im supposed to do slow down the app so u could see it? But we are building production level app here no? Shit. It feels like he applied double standards to me or something. Half of review nitpicking about useless details and another half about shit that is expected to be in the app but was not even communicated. Also I did not get developers contact so I could ask him what the fck he wanted from me.1
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I think I just realized what my biggest gripe about our career paths that I hate the most.
This is something that has worsened over time, especially the last 2 to 3 years.
As developers, we have far too many options. Some of the most powerful apps are written with languages that have hard, and I mean HARD, guardrails in place. If the app is written in a language that does not meet this criteria usually a framework has been used to install those guardrails.
We just get our minds so wrapped around the possibilities and the opportunities in the software, that we just can't focus on the end result. We're like puppies that are excited about something and we just piss all over everything.
In my career I have met far too many developers that don't have the capacity and mental fortitude to take control of their actions. Because of this I think the only way for us to stop this corruption, that I feel we are nurturing, the solutions/services that we use need to push back on us and install those guardrails for us.
All this came from a change that Microsoft put in place that seems well intended, but introduces yet another choice and a multitude of opinions in how you release code.
It used to be a simple check box. If it was checked it was pre-release, if it was unchecked it was a production release. That's it. On or off. The simplest choice you ever needed to make on a release.
Now though, there are two check boxes. One for a pre-release and one for a latest release. You can also not check either for some "ephemeral" release? So now something as easy as on or off has been made into a difficult decision on how this works within my pipeline. Now every time I make a release I have to ask myself, "which one do I check?"
I shouldn't need to spend more than a second to identify a path forward on simple shit like this, but here we are with a third choice.
Can we just stop overcomplicating shit?6 -
+ this post if you believe web developers shouldn’t touch fucking SEO, im sick of this shit still after 12 yrs…wtffff, am i wrong ?????? Please help14
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Nework engineers wannabe developers. They write static shit and duplicate codes, so they have everything in control.
fu=ck you mofo1 -
Today, me and my boss finally made an SDK work properly on power android and iOS project. This was one though week and a half.
Now the rant part. This took us 1 week and a half because the documentation wasn't entirely correct. The worst, and for me the most irritating part, is the fact that my boss had to be on the telephone with his contact of the other company (the one behind the SDK) only in the end to hear his contact talking to.one of their developers about the flow of the communication.
Long story short, after getting the result from the SDK, we should use that information in another service that's not specified the documentation!!!!
The most annoying is when my bosses contact said to the dev that the service wasn't in the docs, his response was
"One thing is the documentation, the other is real life"
Fuck you, you dev piece of shit, you've wasted over a week of my life trying to make something work following your shitty docs!!!! -
So it turns out Moq (.NET mocking library) is leaking developers info via Git and gets in the way of builds with SponsorLink warnings.
Not only this is a GDPR violation but also a shit move from the dev (kzu).
I wasn't aware of that until a colleague found
https://reddit.com/r/dotnet/... and went through some of the GH issues.5 -
So I'm sitting here trying to bodge my way through a member system. These fucknuts really made a bad system..
The task: Export a list of users and their info.
Is there an API available? No, who the fuck would need that shit, even tho the system is built upon Odoo, which has an API!
But it has an export function, you just have to log in and press the right sequence of buttons, because you need the running ID...
Here I discovered the first of many security flaws... "What happens if I post the wrong ID?"... Well, I get access to a file that has nothing to do with me or my users.... What?
Well after some fiddling It works, but holy fuck I found a lot of bugs. And this is a system that is launching in 7 days for us.. Some users have been on it for a year....
How can they ship this bad a product? There's absolute no documentation only a 15-page manual. Guess they don't want developers to develop shit that works in junction with theirs.1 -
Every profession has people who have done some real shit. You have doctors, lawers, scientists, architects.
I want to be one of those developers who did some real shit. I'm just saying.....6 -
When the developers trust a stupid, laggy, buggy mobile emulator more than chrome emulator, seeing shit that's ONLY reproduceable in said emulator. Driving me fucking nuts.
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I like the UWP idea, and in general how UWP look like.. But holy shit they suck.. It takes me fucking 2 minutes to open an UWP app it crashes at least once in those two minutes. And when I open them, its just a matter of time when it will crash.. Lets talk about Skype UWP, love the design, hate the perfomance. You know when Skype syncs? When I open it and wait a minute for it to be usable, and then it updates conversation.. Then.. And only then.. Whaf the fuck is wrong with it? The platform or developers? I fucking hope they improve with, and I don't think I'm the only one with this problem..2
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hey uh, this is a rant about phantom forces, if you don't know what it is, look it up, anyways, that's really it.
so, i've been playing this game very actively called phantom forces and its a good game but its been ruined and the fun has pretty much been taken away. the community is dead and terrible, the developers don't care and the game is just falling off.
what i consider community is the youtube scene, and now as of january 1st, 2022, there's nothing left that's actually interesting besides godstatus and moons fps studio. honestly, its so dry and i'm sick of it.
i'm tired of seeing shitty best setup videos and gun reviews. i hate somesteven and strider and then, there's nothing to actually watch so i just watch brain-numbing shitty videos about stuff.
and then theres the developers, stylis studios is a great development team, i'll give you that but the sheer ignorance of their team is so fucking much.
its kinda obvious they don't really care about adding new features or anything new that isn't guns and its fucking sickening. just to see the same old updates, every fucking month man, its annoying and tiring.
i'm fucking tired of just seeing ape shit guns that are too high for regular players to actually unlock. like i know they're trying to please the growing number of 200+ rank users but its terrible, they haven't done a gun below rank 200 or 100 in forever. the last time they did it was like 6 months ago or something.
we've been asking for shit for years and they haven't given it to us and its fucking tiring. asking for daily quests, new features, more grips, vehicles and shit like that is obviously never gonna happen and thats the fucking problem. they don't care about their community.
but anyways, thats really all i want to say, might make a follow up post later. if you want to add your 2 cents down in the comments, you can do that. bye2 -
Agrrr... I hate to do code review of that shit! I hate to write docs for that shit! I hate to talk to PM! I hate dumb developers!
But there are several things about programming that make me calm and happy. When I'm thinking about one of those things I just sit and smile.
One such a thing is the process of upgrading gcc from sources.
1. Build new gcc with old gcc.
2. Build new gcc again with newly built gcc. Call this build A.
3. Build new gcc once more with build A. Call this build B.
4. Compare that A and B are exactly identical to the last bit.
5. You now have self reproducing compiler.
That is just beautiful and literally gives me chills.