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Oh.. So the deadline is tomorrow? How about we schedule a fucking FOUR HOUR meeting to speed things up?
Yeah, fuck you too...15 -
"Oh no this platform is serverless"
I hate this "serverless" term.
How does a cloud platform run serverless?
HOW?!
"yeah but like we don't have to run updates and manage the underlying stuff and can thus deploy stuff serverless"
NO.
THERE ARE ACTUAL SERVERS RUNNING IN ORDER TO RUN THIS PLATFORM.
YOU CANT RUN THIS FUCKING PLATFORM WITHOUT ACTUAL SERVERS.
HOW WOULD IT RUN THEN, ON FUCKING STARDUST?!
IT. IS. NOT. SERVERLESS. AS. LONG. AS. SERVERS. ARE. INVOLVED. AT. SOME. LEVEL.73 -
Windows: Copying 2,513 items from <here> to <here>.
Me: OK.
Windows: 84% complete.
Me: OK.
Windows: Shit.
Me: What?!
Windows: "Copying" dialog box is not responding.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Well, yeah, sorry.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Do something else until it unfreezes.
Me: OK.
.
.
.
Me: Fuck you. Everything's stuck. Can't click anywhere.
Windows: You can still use your mouse, though.
Me: Yeah, I guess. Wait a second, it's also stuck. The whole thing is frozen as ice.
Windows: What about keyboard?
Me: I said, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!
Windows: Well, sorry?
Me: FUCK YOU!!20 -
Close relative: Hey, what is my gmail password?
Me: I have no idea.
Him: but you created the gmail account for me a couple years ago.
Me: Yeah, I helped you to create it and I warned you to remember your password.
Him: didn’t you write it down somewhere?
Me: no, I didn’t, you fucking useless piece of shit. I am not your fucking password manager.24 -
Postman: We will stop supporting our Chrome app. Please download our "Native" app for better performance.
No motherfuckers.. Go die, alone, while your fucking family watch you bleed to death helplessly.
Electron is not native, don't mix true native development with lazy ass electron. Fuck you. A native postman would've been around 15MB in size but your "native" installer is 68MB so shut the fuck up and don't call it native or I will stick my native dick in your fucking throats.
I develop native apps So yeah, I'm pissed when web devs are starting to call electron and JS as native desktop apps... They are not... Now fuck off you smelly cunts.40 -
"could I get admin privileges to reboot this server?"
Sounds valid enough, right?
OH YEAH SURE, YOU'RE A TINY USER ON A HUGE ASS SHARED SERVER, OF COURSE I'LL GIVE YOU ROOT ACCESS TO REBOOT THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER.
Worst part, he didn't understand why that would be weird.
Can I buy a little common sense somewhere for this guy?28 -
*opens camera*
*permission popup asking for contacts/telephone permissions*
*installs Open Camera*
Really, fucking phone/contact permissions to take pictures?!
Yeah fuck right off.27 -
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !
26 -
Oh yeah. Hey guys. 2 things.
First off. Forgot to say. Officially got a job. Finally. So thank you for all the help/advice and patience with my depressive rants!!
I'm in a new chapter of my life now so thanks.
And secondly.
I FUCKING HATE MY JOB6 -
Bob?
Yeah?
Bob, could you hand me that paperclip?
Sure mate!
Thanks.
Oh... Bob?
Uhhh... yeah?
Could you also hand me that paperclip?
Right... sure, of course.
Thanks.
Bob?
What?
Could you also hand me the next paperclip?
Fuck off, why don't I just give you the whole fucking box!
Yeah Bob, please, throw the whole fucking box.
Wait, is that a printed screenshot of my code you're attaching the paperclips to?
It sure is, Bob.
16 -
Friend: So, you can program
Me: Yeah
Friend: nice, can you hack a Facebook profile?
Every.
Fucking.
Times.8 -
So a group of 'researchers' (you'll get later why I call them 'researchers') conducted research to find the most secure browser.
Their result is Google Chrome!
Few minor details:
- THE WHOLE FUCKING RESEARCH THINGY WAS (mostly?) SPONSORED BY GOOGLE.
- THEY COMPARED IT MOSTLY TO INTERNET FUCKING EXPLORER AND EDGE.
Are they fucking retarded or something?! Yeah if it's going to go like that, Google Chrome will certainly become the winner/number 1.
Mother of fucking god.65 -
I hate this attitude of my study (when i studied):
"it might be a good idea to teach the students how to program securely by default?"
"oh no but we just want to teach them the basics"
"so why not the secure basics by default?!"
"nah we just want them to get started and understand it, that's all. We'll get to the secure way later on"
Well, fuck you.16 -
I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye40
-
Excuse the profuse amount of profanity below.
Fuck this fucking fucked up motherfucker of a fucking director. Money does not make you a fucking decent person, and you come in here and tell me that you pay my fucking measly salary so I must be fucking grateful.
Starts off with a boardroom meeting this morning. Wireless connection on my laptop takes two minutes to connect, I get told that I am wasting company time and that the salary of everyone in the meeting is quite a lot ("with me being the highest"- cuntface director) so stop wasting time. Fuck you man, it's a fucking wireless connection. I am building your motherfucking company applications and doing web design and for what, so I can earn fuckall and be told that I am fucking wasting time. I am presenting your fucking site you wanted, so give me a fucking minute extra to start up the fucking wireless connection.
The fucking mails are taking long to send, great, let's come down and fucking scream at the dev who regrettably said he would try and assist IT (by calling the provider). I literally just got told that I am the following. 1) Fucking stupid 2) He is going to close the dept down because I apparently fuck up (yet again cuntface, your fucking mailserver is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM) 3) He is going to contact an external company to come and check my work. 4) I am fucking useless. 5) I telling him lies (yeah fuckface, I worked as a sys admin, I know what a motherfucking DNS server is and what it does. you don't - so don't fucking tell me that I am lying when I tell you there is a DNS fucking issue, because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about - to top that off motherfucker, I FUCKING BUILT YOUR FUCKING SERVER AND YOUR FUCKING NETWORK. I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS AND WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT).
On top of that, I got pushed out of the way of my own PC, my code got some fucked up gibberish in it (because he was trying to minimise my editor and he typed some in it, and now I have to fucking roll-back. He told me I am wasting company time and he will take my shit away from me if I download something again. It is an open network. I downloaded JAVA and fucking updated Sublime. Jesus man. What the fucking fuck.
"why is your gmail open?!?!" because I was testing your emails from an external network. "DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT" (even though the top mail states "test"). It's the whole fucking "my money determines my dick size" mentality.
That being said, I got told that I need to work overtime, without pay, to resolve IT's issue, even if I have to on the weekend.
That being said,my new Dell that I had just bought (my own) got thrown on the floor and he fucked out of my office. Stupid motherfucker. I fucking earn nothing but cannot leave. I will find another job, and when I do - you can go and fuck yourself and your fucking degrading opinions. I am not fucking stupid, so fuck you.Fuck your company and fuck you. Cunt.33 -
I hate everybody who says JavaScript is the best language because of loose typing and its easy to learn, YES OF COURSE IT IS EASY!
ITS FUCKING JAVASCRIPT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! AND THEN SOME ASSHOLE CAME ALONG, CREATED NODE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
YOU THINK JAVASCRIPT IS THE BEST?! DO YOU REALLY??!!! OH YEAH!?!
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
AND THEN TELL ME AGAIN JAVASCRIPT IS A WELL DESIGNED AND PROPER LANGUAGE!!
I'M OUT!32 -
Oh yeah no this is fucking great. I get around 5 hours of sleep a night during the week.
Went to bed early yesterday.
Just woke up after six fucking hours with a fucking headache and nightmares.
Sleep rhythms can be a fucking bitch.12 -
Fuck yeah!
6 monitors are success-fucking-fully running on my setup.
Fun detail is that WITH the official AMD driver, one screen wasn't turning on and one had a weird resolution but WITHOUT it, it works completely fine!
Yes, it runs completely fine on Linux (Kubuntu).
Finally have my dream setup.42 -
Suddenly my KDE neon installation didn't want to start anymore. (emergency recovery shell)
Immediately searching for solutions, praying for the best...
Saw a suggestion about removing any custom /etc/fstab entries. Removed an entry i added earlier today.
Boots again right away, fuck yeah, Linux, I fucking love you ❤︎4 -
This happens way too FUCKING often:
Random person: Hey, can I have your number so I can text you?
Me: Yeah sure! *gives number*
*A few days later*
Person: Hey you gave me your number to message you but I can't find you on whatsapp???
Me: no indeed....?
Person: Well, then why did you give me your number?!?
Me: you asked if you could TEXT me, I don't have whatsapp.....?
Person: Ohh but I meant whatsapping.... that's like the same
THAT'S NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING SAME!!! TEXTING != WHATSAPPING YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ANNOYING PIECE OF GRRRRRRRRR5 -
Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.
Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?7 -
Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.
SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!
He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.7 -
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!18 -
This is a fucking mess!!!
Refactor?!?!?!?!
Fuck it...
File > New Project
Yeah, fuck it. It'd be easier to just start over.8 -
Gooooood morning devRant! Fucking friday, fuck yeah.
Hereby a rant which @dfox asked to make to test if a possible bug is fixed.
Have a great day everybody and thanks to dfox for keeping me in the loop on this!14 -
Dev: Breaks unit tests
Same dev: Merges it to master anyway
Same fucking dev: Can't merge to master coz CI is screaming at you? Merge locally and FORCE push.
Me: Hi, I'm blocked. I can't merge to master coz of this failing test, can we get on a quick call and figure this out?
Same fucking fuckface dev: *after 3 fucking days* Yeah, I don't know why it's failing.. the results seem to be inconsistent..
Jesus Christ. I am so close to leaving this side-project because of the frequent shit I have to go through with this fucking idiot.
God I wish I didn't need the money.14 -
OPPO sure has the BALLS to fucking install ads on MY FUCKING PHONE, first they force installed “Hot Apps” and “Hot Games” and I can’t remove it. I was like “Yeah sure whatever”. Then they installed sticker ads on THE BUILT IN KEYBOARD. “Ok”. This fucking shit actually installed ads on my fucking notification panel, and pop up a warning every once in two days asking me to”🔥 Update your software to latest version 💢” WITH THAT KIND OF TEXT AND EMOTICONS
FUCK YOU OPPO23 -
So now I'm working on my first collab with a fellow devRanter on a privacy website thingy! Excited and want to start working on it right away.
BUT OH NO I'VE GOTTA GO TO WORK IN 15 MINUTES TO STAND BEHIND A TABLE PACKING MOTHERFUCKING BOXES ALL DAY, YEAH NO THAT SOUNDS FUCKING COCKSUCKING EXCITING. (okay I can pay rant but still).
I need a hug 😞41 -
One of my friend at college asked me why her computer is running slow even when she is running only chrome.
Me: how much memory does it have?
Her: 1TB.
Me (somewhat confused): no no I meant RAM.
Her: yeah yeah it's one TB. I read the specifications of the laptop.
Me: *in my mind, fucking read it again* please read it again. You must have misread it.
Her( grinning face ): alright.
Guess who didn't talk to me for a week. 😂14 -
Multiple weird ones but one specifically where I fixed a bug over and over again and the second I pushed and deployed, the fix was gone both locally and remote.
I kept going more and more crazy and had rage attacks and such.
"Wait what, I changed and fixed this.. Let's try again"
"Huh, I definitely changed this..."
"Oh no, I fucking changed you"
"Go fuck yourself, I fixed this and pushed already, you can't just fucking disappear on me!"
"Oh yeah no of course, disappeared again, totally fucking logical. GET BACK HERE"
"I FIXED YOU A GAZILLION TIMES ALREADY, DON'T YOU DISAPPEAR ON ME AGAIN"
*NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. I. FUCKING. FIXED. YOU"
It went worse and worse for a while and then I woke up with a "....ahh" feeling 😅2 -
Stupid fucking project managers, just posting some slurry in Slack:
"User can't get into app!" _sends useless screenshot_
Yeah? And? I have no context on what time this was, what device, where, how, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
You want me to just telepathically jump to their location on earth, sniff the electromagnetic spectrum waves to sleuth out what exact requests they made and when to figure out what the problem is?
Just shut up. Shut up14 -
Very funny/random/weird partly non-dev related story that happened today.
We're selling our coffee machine at work since the coffee is gross.
Someone wants to buy it and wants it to be sent.
Coworker: just the general way through a package?
Other coworker: hmm yeah through post is fine
Me: POSTAL PIDGIN
other colleague: BY PENGUIN
Another colleague: BY LIKE 100 PENGUINS FLYING THAT THING THROUGH THE AIR WITH LIKE WIRES ATTACHED TO IT
Me: just hold on for a second and imagine this graphically...
Colleagues: damn that would be fucking genius xD
Yeah we're quite random 😆30 -
"I thought you were supposed to be good with computers"...
Yeah, let me just pull my fucking printer fixing degree out of my crusty asshole so you can bitch more about some other technology that I almost never use but assume I can just immediately fix just because I'm a dev
...mom2 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU REWRITE A FUCKING PIECE OF CODE AND DON'T MAINTAIN ITS FUNCTIONALITY?
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD????
JUST SPENT 1 FUCKING HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK THE DATA WASN'T BEING PASSED TO REDUX STORE!
YEAH, UNIT TESTING SURE IS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT THAT HAS MASHED POTATOES FOR A BRAIN!
GO ROT IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
NOW IF I DON'T FIX THIS SHIT MY ASS IS ON THE LINE BECAUSE I MADE THE FUCKING FUNCTIONALITY THAT YOU BROKE?? NO FUCKING WAY!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY BOSS, I'M GONNA GIT BLAME THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF ANYONE PISSES ME OFF!1 -
Tutanota (encrypted mail service) is releasing a new android app soon which won’t be using GCM anymore so that the app won’t be the reason a phone connects to anything google anymore and it’ll be on F-Droid soon!
Fuck yeah, Turanota, I fucking love you ❤️12 -
LEARN THE FUCKING WORDS!
I know that English isn't the native language of my country, but for fucks sake, if I'm telling you the right way to say/write it, remember it!
It's called ROM not ROOM
It's called Mod not Mood
Am I good with Custom ROM's? Yeah
Am I good with Custom Rooms? No, I'm not a fucking interior designer
Am I enjoying Moto Mods? Of course
Am I enjoying Moto Moods? Vruum Vruum bitch.16 -
I'm a backender, Linuxer (servers + cli included) and security person.
For some projects I do need to write my own frontends and that, in general, IS my worst css experience.
HTML is quite manageable but CSS, except for the basics, is fucking Chinese to me.
So yeah, about every goddamn project that includes ME having to do frontend stuff is/has been the worst HTML/CSS experience.14 -
Monday morning, went to the local grocery store to get myself some croissants and 2 bottles of wine.
Cashier: "Already at it in the morning, you sure about that?"
Me: "Long story short, I've got a Wi-Fi driver from Intel to debug and rewrite, and it's a fucking piece of shit.. can't go at it without hitting or preferably exceeding the Ballmer Peak... Also I'm awake since yesterday evening already."
Why even ask? Yeah I'm a fucking alcoholic, and guess why that is.. stupid nontechnical fucks, certified enganeers like that motherfucker at Intel who wrote this pile of garbage called ipw2200, and technology that can't be arsed to work properly on its own unless I build the fucking thing myself, just to name a few reasons.
You know what, fucking piece of shit from Intel, whoever it is? How about I let you choke on my dick while fucking hanging you with a sharp metal wire that's carrying 2kVAC from a microwave transformer, just to see whether I'd nut first, or you either choke, get electrocuted, or get your fucking throat slit first. Certificates aren't an excuse for committing this fucking pile of shit and calling it a fucking product!!
Now, it's time to dive into this giant stinking fucking turd I guess.. first glass of wine to get myself prepared for the shitstorm that's a giant 20k LoC C file with barely any comments, to look what the fuck causes this fucking pile of shit to disconnect and ask for WPA credentials after a while, despite having them stored.. and not reconnect after that, because why the fuck would you?!11 -
!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!6 -
Fucking boss trying to "inspire" us by talking about famous people like elon musk, steve jobs etc.
Well newsflash dumb boss, they are not employees, they are fucking bosses too!
Atleast, consider paying us for overtime before trying to make us rebuild entire project in an impossible deadline.
And yeah, hiring someone who has experience in that framework would be helpful too.7 -
Android, you fucking cunt!
Battery saving, yes it's an important thing. So first you want applications to display a big-ass notification when they're running in the background. Fair enough, it can be hidden away by the user if they want to.
But now there's a big-ass notification and the applications STILL get force closed?!! If I'm browsing Tor and I have Orbot running, don't you think that I might want to KEEP IT RUNNING?!! Or better yet, if I'm connected to my VPN server and the application is actively using the VPNService API, DON'T YOU THINK THAT THAT SHOULDN'T BE CLOSED?!!!
But yeah, ARTIFICIAL FUCKING INTELLIGENCE is doing some leety-ass fucking battery saving. MY FUCKING ASS CAN DO BETTER BATTERY SAVING!!!15 -
"please use a secure password*"
* But don't make it too secure, 20 Charakters is enough.
Why would you fucking do this? The only reason I can think about is a scenario like this:
"How do we store the passwords in the database?"
"Just like anything else?"
"So I create a VARCHAR(20)?"
"Yeah why not? It's good enough for a name, and you shouldn't use your or anyone else's name as a password, so it should be perfect"10 -
Fuck articles which are nothing more than tweets wrapped in ads and paragraphs which repeat the content of the tweets.
Yeah I know that software version x was released, I just read the fucking tweet! — I googled for more details, which points me at 10 mainstream tech news blogs, which are all in the business of fluffing up three sentences into 6 paragraphs without adding any value.
I wish Twitter just charged royalty fees to embed on for-profit websites.10 -
Thinking about this makes me pull my fucking hairs.
The fact that I have to look for the actual content in a website, among all the ads, prompts and fucking stupid design is fucking ridiculous.
Every fucking website is following this designs now. Always showing popups to subscribe to their fucking newsletter the moments you visit the site.
Can you please let me fucking read the content I require first?
"No fucking way. I will block 80% of the viewport with unnecessary stuff. I will place my ads on the left and right side. On the bottom, I will have a blocking div that will prompt you to subscribe to our newsletter. And on the top, we will have this huge fucking navbar which will take 30% of the view. That 20% area left in the middle? yeah, good luck on finding something useful in there"
Then there are this fucking cunts, that blocks the whole website the moment you enter.
"Oh, you need some information, right? Why not just subscribe to our emails first so that we can send your useless junks every now and then".
Oh my fucking batman, don't even remind me of those stupidass videos. Now 90% of the popular website will play a video immediately after you enter the website.
And guess what?! The volume will be amplified to 500% so that that's the sound you will ever hear in your lifetime.
The fucking web is becoming absolute shite right now. We really need a revolution here which makes the websites show the appropriate amount of ads and prevents them from doing all these stupids shits.5 -
No one uses Git, nor any code hosting service, but I'm the Junior.
Yeah okay, fuck you and your fucking siloes.
I won't tolerate lack of version control anymore, I'll be looking for the next "professional opportunity".11 -
My study's logic every fucking time: (I'm a senior by the way)
Junior: Sir, could you help me out for a minute?
Teacher: I'm busy right now, please fill out the support request form and go ask one of the seniors (yeah, not even kidding)
Junior: Alright, hey dude, could you help me out maybe?
Me: yeah of course, just get your laptop and go sit here next to me!
Other Teacher: Hey you, leave the seniors alone, they've got their own work!
2 -
FUCK PHP!!!
We were trying to go live with a big online shop, it is connected through a crappy API to SAP.
PHP keeps outputting fucking errors because our intern doesn't fucking know how to properly write PHP.
YEAH, JUST FUCKING RETURN A WHOLE DIFFERENT TYPE OF DATA IF THE FUNCTION HAS AN ERROR.
Oh and using fucking strtr( ... ) to insert stuff in a string is REALLY FUCKING 1337...
And when you think the whole fuckery has reached the summit, just look at how HE FUCKING CREATED THE UGLY EMAIL TEMPLATE:
$content .= "UGLY HTML ABOMINATION";
$content .= "MORE UGLY HTML";
$content .= "HTML WITH SPELLING ERRORS";
$content .= "<table>";
$content .= "TEARS OF TIM BERNERS LEE";
$content .= "<table>HE FOGOT THE FUCKING '/'";
and dozens more of these lines...
and the whole piece for ALL 3 FUCKING LANGUAGES...
Thanks for writing the fucking backend stuff, it is better to rewrite the whole piece.19 -
The Windows 11 keynote was such a load of bullshit. All the emo yadda yadda. You know, when I work on Windows, what I feel is irritation, anger, and despise for the amateur shitshow that Microsoft delivers.
In particular, but not limited to the fucking update reboots where Windows sits there uselessly and shells fucking prawns in its own ass!
Oh we now have semi-transparent shit. That's progress! It's so great! Only that it's not because already Windows Vista had Aero Glass, and Windows 8 removed it.
But we we have fucking rounded corners now! Crazy shit, some intern at Microsoft discovered border-radius, or did they dig out some fucking Windows XP copy? That also had rounded corners way before Apple even invented them!
To top it off, Microsoft even failed to deliver the livestream seamlessly and recommended watching it at Twitter. Yeah, that's the fucking "Windows experience" as we know it, you clowns!
My favourite BS quote from Nadella himself: "the web itself was born and grew up on Windows." That guy is so full of shit that an unmaintained latrine in rural India would be envious!8 -
When i was 15 i wanted to try myself at coding and hacking.
Yeah a bit ignorant i know.
Anyhow，i randomly found a python tutorial i believe.
Got things running and started the first tasks.
Create a var， associate a string. Create a second var and associate a new string.
Concat them and you get a new string with both of em together.
Then i told myself that this was fucking shit and i quit.
15 years later，i regret more and more that i let it go but what a fucking dumb tutorial that was...
17 years of coding and i would have been a fucking beast.15 -
Apple flips the bird to devs again...
So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.
“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”
Ok... update Xcode...
“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”
WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...
“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”8 -
OMG! I fucking hate it when people who have no idea about technology whatsoever have a conversation about some 'technical stuff' and I've got to listen to trash like:
A: "It's a wonder that all of this stuff actually works!"
B: "Yeah, I heard that it all connects over some kind of WAVES or something like that..."
FFS! I know you can't know everything, but please for the love of god ... just don't!
- Currently sitting on the train and cringing like a madman -13 -
Sister: *walks up to me at my desk* Hey, I was wondering if you can undo what you did to the internet and put it back and make it work better in my room and also make it faster
Me: Sure
Yeah, I’ll get right on it and go hit the fucking magic button in the router settings called “enable extended range and make it go faster”.1 -
You know, I am getting really fucking irate posting them rants about how shitty my job is.
I'm more than fucking competant, but this company is turning me into a blithering, raging, frothing maniac.
I am sitting doing my devOps at the moment. On top of that I am the network admin, the sys admin, the sec admin, the fucking fuck admin (you get the point) and now I am being told to go out and work in the field because "The technician is busy with calls, and doesn't have time". These calls are ALL FUCKING PRINTER CALLS. SET UP USERS TO PRINT AND FUCKING SCAN.
I am not being a shithead by saying no. I have spent the last year or so doing favours for these bastards, I don't get any compensation in any form for it, and it is just making my life hell. The reason I went into devOps is so that I don't have to fucking deal with shit like this. I spent years in the field, and I fucking hated it. I was good at what I did, but I fucking hated it.
Now I am back there. They earn more than i do, those printer techs, but I am doing their fucking work for them. I have even made them simple little fucking scripts so that 90% of their work is done in two clicks.
Fucksakes. Now my motherfucking right shift key doesn't want to operate properly. Been using this keyboard for about 6 years now, and now it decides to fuck out. Fuck.
As standing, I am fucking sick and fucking tired. I am drinking energy drinks and mass amounts of coffee just to stay functional (because I sit up until 12AM trying to get through all my work - everyday of the week). Reported to tech director, doesnt give a single fuck. "Stick around, things will get better".
Yeah, fuck you.
Seriously thinking about freelancing.
Don't know if it pays well though.3 -
*wondered for 4 years how a bootloop looks like*
Nexus: yOU wAnE kNoW wHaT a BoOtLoOp LoOkS LiKe?!
*bootloops itself to shit*
Well I guess that I know what I'll be doing tonight then. Flash that new StatixOS build because the phone shat itself.
*tries to reflash the recovery*
*still bootloops*
*tries to flash the stock OS*
*still fucking bootloops*
*finds a post on XDA saying something about fucked big cores that need to be disabled*
Fucking piece of junk. So not only the battery is shit, but also the CPU is shit, huh. Certified pieces of shit.
*flashes the patched boot.img that disables the big cores*
*phone loads Google logo.. good*
*BOOTLOOPS FUCKING AGAIN*
MJHUIETHNIUBESZPTUIBG ESVGU d
FUCK!!! Fuck you Google, fuck you Nexus, fuck you Huawei, HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE TO DESIGN A FUCKING PHONE?!!!
So yeah. Looking for suggestions for a new phone. Anything of which the kernel source is released and of which the battery is halfway decent (unlike this fucking piece of shit) should do.7 -
"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*
Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.
FUCK!!!6 -
HTML Previewer: "Yeah it looks fine"
Chrome: "no your HTML fucking sucks, go back to coding school"
WYSIWYG in a nutshell1 -
wE oNlY uSe 10% oF bRaIn pOwEr
yeah, no shit, now go to your computer and launch 400 chrome tabs. Congrats, now you're using 100% of your computer performance. Does it work well now? Quick and snappy innit?
fucking muppets.16 -
It's 2017.
Why is vertically centering a div still so stinkin hard?
Yeah yeah ik what you will tell me, "use flexbox".
Well guess what,. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FOR THE PAST 6 FUCKING HOURS!
I've gone as far as to copy code from 20+ different websites advertising working solutions. My tab bar looks like the fucking rockey mountains!
My main problem is that flexbox on chrome is not accepting ANY % values.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go kill myself. YAY! 🤗29 -
"Hey Jamcris11,
Be apart of our cool programming project?"
"Hell yeah, sign me up".
Three weeks later.
Proceeds to me being the only person contributing to the project in anyway (despite having a full time job meaning little spare time).
Guy who invited me in the first place just plays fucking Minecraft all day (he doesn't have a job or college,) puts no effort into the project at all.
22 -
Removes stubborn programs? Oh by 'stubborn' you mean the kind of programs where i click on the X on a window and the default button on the confirmation dialog isn't the one that closes the window but instead I have to click on 'cancel'? Yeah I fucking hate those programs too.
The fucking cunts who write the code for this should be making subway sandwiches for a living because they don't deserve programming as a job.
4 -
Day of the interview sr. Architect says: "We have near 100% unit test coverage in our code."
One month later when I tell him there are 0 unit tests written against 300 projects: "Yeah, I knew that was a problem."
What can you do when the people who want to hire you lie outright to your face?
Oh yeah, and not a god damned one was written using any sense of object oriented programming at all. Every single damned project is written like its on a motherfucking punchcard put together by a cs 101 student with a 2 hour fucking deadline.
I can understand if it needs some work, just tell me. Don't fucking lie to me just to get me in the door to fix a problem you know you have. JUST HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT FOR YOUR CANDIDATES AND DON'T FUCKING LIE TO THEM!
Off to drink some scotch and think about what it would be like to shove a finger deep enough into my nostril to hear a pop and smell popcorn before going off into that good night.
I said good day.3 -
The "guy who is good with computers" can't open a fucking .rar or start skype. Yeah sure dude, you're like the best at "computer stuff". Fucking morons.3
-
You know what really grinds my gears?
When a manager writes up some bullshit "this doesn't work".
Then you waste your time following up, and they say, "oh yeah, this so and so pop up came up with validation error X".
YEAH? AND I'M SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WHEN YOU WRITE ABSOLUTELY NO STEPS TO REPRODUCE, JUST COMING TO ME WITH "HEY, X IS BROKEN" GOD JUST GET FUCKING 1% TECHNICALLY LITERATE THATS ALL I ASK FOR I'M SO SICK OF YOUR SHIT2 -
Be me, making a self hosted website-blog thing because why not
making the backend: yeah cool, easy, ive been doing this stuff for a while
making a frontend: ehh, some template will do fine, im not that great at js
making an admin page: yay this is actually fun
setting up portforwarding on my router to my pi: fucking piece of shit work already dammit8 -
so I have a junior who merged in a fix for an issue yesterday, and it was tested today and there was an issue with his "fix".
so he comes to me and says "hey this is an issue" and i'm like "yeah, remember i told you about that yesterday when i tested your changes? why did it get merged?"
so i tell him "its because of <reason> and that's why i specified the approach that i did in the ticket originally"
so he's like "ok i'll try that" and before doing that i leave him with "you will probably want to do <thing> because of <reason> with that approach"
so fast forward to like 10 mins ago. literally half the fucking day has gone by.
"hey, so i can't get this to work"
"yeah its because <reason> but what you /can/ do is <same fucking thing i told him to do this morning>"
"oh ok, ill give that a shot :thumbsup: "
and yet he's had this chip on his shoulder since reviews because he feels like he should have gotten a bigger raise and he's worth more than he's paid. and wonders why after 3 years he still hasn't been promoted from a junior.
and don't fucking say 'that's above my pay grade' all the time like you aren't fairly compensated, and then struggle to employ the same fucking patterns in a code base you've worked with for 3 years now.4 -
I’m fucking done….
I don’t even know what to tell.
I’m a CTO in a startu. We have pretty good traction, my salary is about average senior dev salary (plus 10%).
I’m good financially.
But I have no more pleasure in work. Like at all.
“This API call performance is bad”
Yeah I know, maybe you shpuldn’t try to call it for 1000 objects at the time ?
“We need to reduce Azure cost”
Yeah I know, but are you ready to live with performances downgrade it will generate ?
“I don’t understand on what thing you worked past week, where is a devops card ?
Fuck you, I’m in extenuating fire mode, I don’t have time for a fucking devops card
“We should migrate whole stack to modern technology, like JavaScript”
Thank you for your imput, Blazor WAS created to avoid JabaScript
“The client has only 1.000.000 records and API doesn’t return them all”
Use fucking paging moron. And BTW, I’m adding “number of authorized requests” shortly.
I can go on and on and on for hours. But the idea is : I completely lost the will or motivation to do anything. I’m considering just to quit and go back to be Junior dev for a random company.9 -
I fucking hate CORS. I mean yeah I get that it's for security and all but fucking COCKSUCKER is it ever fucking getting annoying dealing with this shit…5
-
So fucking apparently, you can text a phone through email! Yeah, TIL about something called sms gateways, which most mobile providers have, which allow you to essentially email the phone number, and have a text message delivered to that number. For example, I have MetroPCS so mine would be
6666666666@mymetropcs.com
Fucking amazing!8 -
Yeah boss, lets study Scrum extensively so you can:
- Create variable length sprints
- User stories that are meaningless like 'fixes'
- Tasks that should be User Stories
- Duplicated tasks/stories that are on the fucking backlog already
- Cross sprints on projects
- No meetings at fucking all to determine who will do what
- Assign people on vacation to current sprints
The list goes on...
An when I point things like that out lets just look at the guy who spent 6 months studying this shit, taught you ( at least tried... ) as if he is saying nonsense while our projects get delayed and our code spaghettifies because we are always in a hurry for lack of time to plan anything :)2 -
Yeah yeah, good ol' DropBox.
Which fucking piss-wanker has made the decision to NOT SUPPORT encrypted ext4 starting in november???
You think I'm going to reformat my SSD just for you, you little stinky cunt, huh?
CrapBox has hearned itself a place in /dev/null
Go fuck yourself, you hobo-raped STD host!10 -
Oh null, how I detest you.
select birthdate, isnull(birthdate) from Users;
>> [null, 0]
Maybe I wrongfully accuse the abstract concept, and should rather loathe the engineers who can't wrap their heads around null despite their heads being a skull literally wrapping fucking nothingness.
Oracle engineers:
"Wait that's invalid input. What do we do?"
"Default the date to 0000-00-00?"
"That kind of looks like a null..."
"Hmm but it isn't *really* a full-on, butt-clenching, hardcore, intrinsic, I-can-taste-it-in-the-air null"
"Yeah not really feeling it either. It's not giving me the typical null-goosebumps."
"Oh, I know! Let's make it a pretend-null, where the actual type totally depends on the layer of the application!"
"Yeah developers love ambiguous random conversions!"4 -
I love it when a fellow "dev" asks about some interesting security topic (full disk encryption) and I'm like "yeah I use LUKS pretty much everywhere".. and then takes an entire arm when given a hand.
Performance in LUKS? Yeah sure you can benchmark it within cryptsetup. Here's how to do it and choose a good cipher for your CPU.
D: Oh also how do I check my battery life?
M (thinking): you lazy fucking piece of shit.
M: FUCKING GOOGLE IT
D: Obviously that means that you don't know it.
M (thinking): so not only lazy but also disgustingly ungrateful, fucking twat.
M: acpi. Next time fucking Google it.
D: You know what? Never mind.
As if I'm the one that's fucking wrong now!! But you know what, never mind indeed. Because you've successfully wasted my fucking time instead of fucking googling "check battery life Linux" like a sensible dev would.
Fellow "dev", if you're on devRant I hope you read this. You can seriously go fuck yourself.4 -
People fucking think that working for a fucking startup is a fucking cake walk. Every person making 6 figure salaries but no one fucking wants to put in an effort to work slightly harder! Show up at 10 and leave a 4 and yeah v'll get funded. And the worst fucking part is no one wants to check something as simple as fucking work emails after work! Fucking get your acts together or just walk the fuck out the door.
I know work life balance is important but don't expect that when you know the company is treading harsh waters and needs everyone to get their shit together so we get funded!7 -
You know those youtube channels that just read r/askreddit threads word by word? Yeah i fucking hate them so im automating that shit.
This is how far im right now, the images and voices are generated, now just have to somehow grab some vlog music randomly and automate video creation.
https://youtube.com/watch/...9 -
Imagine naïvely treating your ONLY full-time employee like a robot that simply accomplishes tasks for you on a whim without even waiting for or even acknowledging their feedback (when that feedback has +10 years of experience of product development over you).
I wonder what it's like to operate at so idiotic a level on a day to day basis.
I don't care if you have all the fucking "vision" in the world, I'm actively searching for new positions, especially the ones that pay me double or triple what I'm earning now. I'm outta here, pronto tonto
Yeah, you founded a fucking company, been there, done that, 2 times even. just shut up6 -
13 fucking USD in shipping for a 9 USD rubber duck? Fuck no.
Spend $2 a month and most likely forget I am now subscribing to devRant++? Yeah, sure. Why not, right?
Seriously though, thank God for this platform, I'm luckily not the only one with struggles..5 -
WTF is this bullshit?!! I set an alarm on my phone for 9:00 and 9:15 just in case... The alarms went off at 10:00 and 10:15, now I am an hour late for work. Just how does that even work?!!! Yeah, time changes but you don't change the fucking alarm Huawei! FFS... I really don't look forward to explaining this...
Also.. devRant on mobile seems to be broken? :( @dfox14 -
Oh yeah that shouldn't take too long right? I mean it's just the front end.
No shut your fucking dumb ass mouth up. It will take long. The front end is very complicated, and your stupid fucking ass who couldn't learn to code is in no position to estimate how long it will take. Do us all a favor and stick to the "business" side. Fucking incompetent idiot.
If you're not a programmer, when it comes to estimating how long a task will take. Just shut the fuck up. Just cause you work in this industry does not qualify you to estimate a task. Just shut the fuck up.1 -
DHL? More like, "Du Hurensohn Lieferst ned!"
Seriously! Fuck DHL so fucking hard! Why the FUCK can you deliver 2 FUCKING PACKAGES, WHICH REQUIRE SIGNING, INFRONT OF MY FUCKING ENTRANCE!! But not, A FUCKING 3rd one! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I WAS AT FUCKING HOME THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY! THEN I RECIEVE AN EMAIL THAT THE FUCKING PACKAGE "couldnt be delivered because I wasnt at home" YEAH FUCK YOU! 2 INFRONT OF MY FUCKING DOOR! and then... I see him... that fucking DHL guy, with my package, going INTO HIS FUCKING SHITASS DHL CAR, AND DRIVING OFF!
I literally just wanted to open the window and scream "HEY DHL, MEIN SCHEISS PACKET! WO ISSET!?" but I didnt...
FUCK THESE COCKSUCKERS FROM DHL! I HAVE A FUCKING LOUD DOORBELL! RING THAT THING! THERES A BUTTON WITH MY NAME NEXT TO IT!14 -
Fucking stupid bitch comes to me at 7 pm and asks an impossible task and after I clearly explain and say that I don't know how I gonna do it she asks it for early tomorrow...
Yeah, keep waiting...4 -
- Let's write some code to check for memory leaks
- Oh shit, memory is leaking like crazy
- In fact the program crashes within 10 minutes
*Some hours of debugging and not finding the cause later*
- Starts thinking about the worse
- Hell yeah, the memory leak is caused by the code that checks for memory leaks. But fucking how
- Finds out the leak is caused by the implementation of the std C lib
- In the fucking printf() function
- Proceeds to cry5 -
Okay you bastards ya got me: I fucking enjoy using Linux as my dev environment.
There, I SAID IT -
BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND IT MEANS THAT I STOPPED HATING IT
Oh the fucking love hate relationship to fucking Linux.
"Hey, ihatecomputers! How many hours per year did you spend fixing internet connectivity issues on Windows?" you ask. Well, close to fucking 0 you goddamned imbecile. But on Linux? I don't even want to talk about it.
And what about that time when I wanted to connect my bluetooth headphones so I could listen to music while studying? Well, by the time my headphones were connected to my machine (usually a one second operation) I had no time left for, you know, actual studying. Oh my god, it's the most trivial fucking thing.
Well, at least that particular issue got solved.
Unlike that fucking Ethernet connection which has been fucking out of commission since I started using fucking Linux. Wifi works just well enough to make it not worth pouring more time into troubleshooting that shit, but just barely though because my wifi IS FUCKING DOGSHIT ON LINUX
...
But fuck me if it isn't it the most lean thing ever! It's the goddamned opposite of bloated. So smooth and snappy. And free as in slurred speech, or whatever. It makes me happy. When I'm not seething with rage, that is.
Yeah I guess that's it, thanks for tuning in.
~ihatecomputers16 -
Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
CSS - Separate style from content...
Yeah... More like creating divs to make that fucking div aligned.
Straight from table hell to div hell2 -
Eclipse, you lousy shit bitch of an ass hole - yeah I went there.
So I spent several hours today trying to get eclipse to:
1) just fucking launch without erroring out and crashing
2) actually work with a reasonable dark theme. (Yea right)
But no you hunk of shit, both of these seems nearly impossible for you. And just when I get you to work, the stupid fucking lack of syntax highlighting is just dreadful as fuck. If I didn’t have to use it for Salesforce development I sure as hell wouldn’t. -
2010: haha yeah I use StackOverflow too
2011: SO, amirite?
2012: omg SO servers are down
2013: am engineer and I use SO to remember how to eat and breathe
2014: guys, what if SO was down. CODEPOCALYPSE!
2015: I use SO and have imposter syndrome
2016: omg, git checkout this SO meme on /r/programmerhumor
2017: I'd rather skin my mother alive than have SO dowb
2018: Stack fucking Overflow... like.. what if... you... can't... use it... in an interview...
2019: check my twitter @paresh, tons of SO references with barely intelligible english
just fucking drop dead, pieces of shit...6 -
I use an MVC based framework mostly aaaand I'm very fucking lazy sometimes soooo I just run the db functions in the view very often yeah just because lazy really 😄4
-
GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES. MANY PEOPLE RANT ABOUT JOB HUBTING AND INSANE REQUIREMENTS. SO HERE IN SPAIN I'M SURE THE SITUATION IS WORSE. NO FUCKING JOBS. WHEN YOU FIND AN OFFER THAT DOESN'T MENTION PHP, JAVA OR COBOL OHH. YOU NEED TO BE A FUCKING WP, FULL STACK, ANDROID AND IOS DEVELOPER, A FUCKING SYSADMIN AND HAVE 99 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. SO YOU CAN SAY: hey search a junior offer! YEAH SURE ONE SECOND. 4-15 FUCKING YEARS OF FUCKING EXPERIENCE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES AAAAH
7 -
PHP is my main language, but I haven't had a single problem with it yet.
Nodejs it is.
How can you possibly make it SO GODDAMN HARD to just implement ANYTHING synchronous. THERE ARE REALLY FUCKING GOOD REASONS YOU *WANT* YOUR CODE TO STOP EXECUTION WHILE DOING SOMETHING
EVER HEARD OF HARDWARE PROGRAMMING? YEAH, APPARENTLY NOT
GRAAAAH12 -
"Don't you like the new site? (:"
I mean yeah, it's an upgrade from what was done in 2011 with 2007 recycled code.
But now the first access takes almost 10 seconds.
10
seconds.
Was fucking WordPress necessary?
We went from a hotel booking PHP template to a blogging template.
60+ freaking Mb of shit, not just content but *shit*. (from the admin panel, only 3 of the 10+ sections are needed)
At least they won't bother me now about the main page frontend.
Oh wait, they do. So I had to learn how to hack the theme header behaviour because of course, cute boy WordPress couldn't care less on how the header behaves. I see more hacks incoming of fucking course.
Man I fucking hate WordPress.4 -
I can't tell you how much I hate people who make articles doing relatively simple things, in node, and instead of showing how to do it, they proceed tell you to install a fucking package (usually made by them)
Yeah no thanks, it's great that you figured this out and took the time to "enlighten" other devs but I'll just look at your repo and use the native JavaScript functions you wrapped on myEgoInflatingPagacke.justAWrapperHuehue(). Bye.1 -
literally what the fuck is the point of C++
>takes 3 years to make anything half-functional
>language was made in like fucking 1902 so it's damn near fucking impossible to make anything that works without sifting through bumfuck retarded syntax/libraries
>error messages that tell you absolutely nothing of use and are indecipherable garbage 90% of the time
fuck C, fuck it's retarded downie little brother C++, and fuck the stupid fucking boomers who say you're not a real programmer unless you force yourself to become a masochist by using either one of these stupid fucking languages
"oh but it's fast!!11!1!!" yeah but working with it sure as fuck isn't
half the fucking time if I just stop including certain headers in another file then the compiler throws like literally 400 fucking errors at me even though the thing(s) I excluded had no bearing on whatever the compiler decides it wants to loudly bitch and whine about
"oh but games were made on it!!!!111!" yeah not without fucking horrific spaghetti code and 900000 different libraries and dependancies designed just to make a single fucking window39 -
I now understand why we have multi-core processors. So that a process that dun shit the bed doesn't hog the whole fucking CPU! Of course at the expense of "yeah our shitty software can hog the CPU no problem, there's now several cores anyway". Hardware solving the crap that software presents, yet again.6
-
Mother fucking cunts should be shot into the sun...
It's worse enough when you have to deal with many things at once...
But how the fuck can 3 people from 3 different teams have the same bullshit idea to disturb a meeting and just start talking like it's the most normal thing.
YEAH. INTERRUPTING MEETING AND JUST BLABBERING ON AND ON...
Then fucking laughing how funny it is.
Upper management found it absolutely not funny.
Working from home prevented a mass murder today.1 -
So I reach office early , bcz I like to have sun left when I go home.
Other devs arrive almost 3-4 hours after me. And when it's time to leave,
They : you leave so early
Me : yes you ahole. I come early too.
And then they get credits for staying long I'm like yeah if you come at 12-1 you have to stay back.
So fucking frustrating.7 -
Have I ever told you guys of the time that I had made my PM feel bad by saying I had to drop 3 classes because he was working me so hard?
Yeah that happened and he felt really bad about it!
GOOD! FUCKING GOOD! I want you to feel bad about it! Don't you dare say that I'm not putting in enough work ever again!1 -
Too tired to rant.
The wasp, remember? yeah I finally got angry yesterday when it showed up again, so today I bought a spray can and sprayed it. mofo finally gave in and left from the window.
The bastard didn't die after half a can, no, IT FUCKING LEFT!
GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!15 -
IBM. Fucking IBM. I have not heard ONE person say “We should totally become an IBM shop!” Because only people who were already STUCK with IBM when better options presented themselves still use IBM bullshit. And those people... ooooooh those fuckers are in SO MUCH denial. “Yeah but IBM does such-and-such too.” YEAH? Well your business model shouldn’t be built on businesses held captive to your antique bullshit. That shit is Stockholm syndrome. Textbook, fucking Stockholm syndrome. Don’t tell me “It used to be we could only have EIGHT character file names.” THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN A THING. EVER. Fucking THINK about it. If you have to justify something based how much WORSE it used to be, that thing probably fucking sucks.11
-
Migrate and entire fucking ERP system in NINE DAYS.
"It's just copy and paste!"
Yeah, if both systems worked exactly the same. And if they do, why switch?5 -
Got feedback after job interview #33:
Yeah we don’t think you have enough corporate experience...
YOU COULD HAVE READ THAT IN MY RESUME BITCH! STILL YOU SPEND MY FUCKING TIME AND GAS!3 -
The cleaning lady saga continues...
(previous: https://devrant.com/rants/1850777)
Had an appointment with their manager, stuff gets discussed and coordinated at a 3x slower pace than if I'd done it myself (as usual because fuck efficiency when there's muggles involved -_-), yada yada.
*mail addresses for contact start getting discussed*
Incompetent fuck of a manager: And you $realName, your email address is $company@nixmagic.com, then changed to $nickname@nixmagic.com? Mind explaining this?
Me: Oh yeah that's just because I give out different email addresses to each contact person when it involves public forms or registrations, helps with spam prevention and putting the company name of the correspondent in there helps with easy recognition when some company's database leaks and I start getting a lot of spam on that mailbox.
IFOM: Really.. we actually weren't sure whether we should reply to something with our company name in it.. you know, not sure whether it's legit etc. Why would anyone want to use one of our email addresses as theirs?
… Let that sink in for a moment. They think that $company@nixmagic.com is theirs? Just because it's their domain (minus TLD) in front of MY FUCKING DOMAIN? How about you start by learning how email addresses work first, because clearly you have no fucking clue about it. Are you the kind of brainless fucks that get lured in by http://totallylegitbank.com.freehost.com/... scams? Fucking stupid piece of fucking shit.
Oh, and when you're using MS Exchange, of course you can't know that when you're having your own domain, you actually also own every fucking mailbox on it, because Microshaft doesn't allow you to have more than n amount of mailboxes, unless you gobble up money for them. But you know what, in my case it's a fucking catch-all domain running Linux on its servers, so yeah I can use whatever the fuck I want in front of it, including your stupid fucking cleaning company.
IFOM: And then there's your current designated email address. $nickname@nixmagic.com..
Oh you're going to criticise that as well?! Yeah condor is my fucking nickname all over the internet, and my username on all my systems. That's why I use it. But you know what else is an email address that you might come across, because people are shallow idiots like that? ILoveBigTits69@gmail.com or something like that. You know what, how about I address you next time from ILoveBigTits69_OhAndYoursAreAWashboard@nixmagic.com, because you know what? I CAN FUCKING DO THAT. But you know, I at least am halfway fucking professional about my business-related stuff, so I won't because I really don't want to be associated with such an email address. So don't you fucking dare to criticize me for using my fucking nickname instead of my real name.
Long story short, people are fucking idiots.6 -
*WanBLowS shits itself as usual in BSOD*
FEATUREFUL FUCKING JOKE OF AN OPERATING SYSTEM..!!!! How about you do the only thing that you're good at - casual shit like letting me watch a fucking anime! - and do it properly?! Yes there's an rsync from btrfs to btrfs going on in the background - because yes I fucking detest your joke of a filesystem called NTFS!! Should that even matter?! ONE FUCKING JOB!!!
Meanwhile my tablet, a fucking €120 cheapie!! It can stay up and running - stable! - for fucking weeks in a row, only taken down by me forgetting to charge the bloody thing every few days. But yeah it's gotta be a hardware issue, it's gotta be an obscure setup. NO IT'S A FUCKING CRAPTACULAR SHIT OS!!! If only those Microshit certified enganeers would write a goddamn line of DECENT CODE!!!
(As for anyone who doesn't know already that I've tried countless times to convert this turd to Linux.. It's an Intel + Nvidia GPU hybrid and it doesn't even boot a Linux live session. Believe me, I've tried.)7 -
Go to fucking hell SO!
Question: "How to do X?"
Answer: "You can solve your particular problem without doing X."
God fucking damnit, yeah some noob tried to use X to solve a completely unrelated problem and thank god somebody pointed out a better solution. But since all other questions about doing X are labelled as duplicates of this question, could you dickheads at least provide an actual answer to the question instead of an answer which only works for that particular problem and has nothing to do with X?3 -
sometimes our application users can't login to our application and they report the problem to us. The fucking problem? Almost sure they forgot the password because we can login with their account.. Yeah we should not have access to their password, but we do xD. The worst is they send a Word file with only a print screen of the application error saying they can't login. Why not a .jpg??! The word takes 4 seconds to open
13 -
Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...
After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...
So the following talk happened:
Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)
Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.
Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...
Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE! -
Finally fucking managed to setup quite fast map tile hosting including the tile generation after ages of research and trial and error.
I love this open (source) maps (openstreetmaps) project but man, figuring out what to do from a gazillion sources can be rather hard.
Now I'm just having some styling issues and the filesize is fucking insane (only the Netherlands with all data, 20gb+ if I remember correctly) so I'm just generating road maps for now. If someone knows some more about the styling as for the maps, please let me know!
Yeah, this is fucking satisfying.2 -
Don't you fucking love spending 3 days debugging only to realise you had a fucking dash instead of an underscore... Yeah me too! .-.5
-
!rant
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.3 -
I've got this customer who for some fucking reason won't change their DNS to point to our new servers, but wants to fucking stay on that old piece of crap, where we have to ask our sub-provider to generate a CSR to send to our customer to use to sign a certificate to send to us to send to our sub-provider. Because yeah, that's so much fucking easier than just pointing your domain to our new system, and get SSL set up automatically. For fucks sakes! And also, your certificate expires tomorrow, and since our idiot sub-provider hasn't responded to my email about CSR in a week, you basically have no option. So get that thumb out your butt and just switch the DNS!
-
>Free Cloud Services
> You need to pay at least 1$ for internet
Yeah, if you have a fuckton of donation money, at least give us the fucking internet connection for free you yellowcircle twats2 -
FUCK YOU PHP, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GIVE ME DECEMBER 1ST WHEN I DO
strtotime('-1 month', '12/31/2015)
USING DateTime PRODUCES THE SAME FUCKING RESULT. ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED OR WHAT?
YEAH I KNOW NOVEMBER DOESN'T HAVE 31ST BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST RETURN 30TH OR EVEN RAISE A WARNING, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.10 -
no fucking documentation
no fucking explaination
and your example doesn't even work
let's just run around in circles until we all die
waiting to exit this 🤡 world
yeah, i know, everyone is like "why can't you chill more"
because this what we are stuck doing 8-9 hour a day!!!!!! this is literally our lives just wasting away!!!! and it's not even fun anymore; you can't enjoy it if everyone is so fucking incompetant any step at being productive is fucking battle
god so sick of it4 -
Ask yourself as you plan the meeting:
1. Is an email a better solution to this?
If the answer is yes, plz just send the fucking email. Else, try and find a way to make it an email instead. If all else fails then yeah go ahead and have your stupid meeting. -
Fucking roommate just closed my fucking laptop while I wasn't looking. I fucking told him that I am the downloading the oversized android sdk and I also once told him that my laptop isn't completely configured yet and turns off when closed. Now I can restart the whole fucking download because android studio is also a piece of shit that doesn't know what it already downloaded.
"Sorry, I forgot that your laptop did that". Yeah, let me just slit open your fucking neck. Sorry, I forgot that kills people.2 -
Spent 2+ months this year building two new software courses. They've netted me a total of... $17.00
That's 5 cents per hour at 40/hours a week, not bad!!!!
also please fucking tell me how a $49.99 course with 92 enrollments this month earns me a grand total of $93 (even rounding up here for generosity)
creator: $93
udemy: $4506
udemy: "instructor gets 37% of comissions"
yeah okay then where is my fucking $1000+
I mean what in the literal FUCK is going on here
better put: i average a single fucking dollar for each $50 course I sell?
Please kill me and end it all in this mindless race to the bottom
taking a deep dive on this revenue share and then i'm going to fucking get the money i deserve10 -
Being mocked by the chef because I am "almost a week on a task"... Yeah dude, if a script which should update hundred thousands of main entities in production with a 45 min duration even though it is already paralleled is a half day job why don't you do it fucking yourself?4
-
I swear I NEVER hated PHP before, but after seeing this shit, I just can't love it anymore, I feel betrayed
I mean, WTF? Just bc I'm using the variable as a reference in the NEXT loop the LAST element changes? What even is the fucking reason?
Yeah, I read the answer on StackOverflow, but seriously...
SO ref: https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
12 -
HELL FUCK AND HELL YEAH AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME!
Why? Well... You maybe remember that I Posted a Rant where i said that i Stream EVERY 3D Print i do. And... That I wanted to make an Easter Bunny, that failed... Failed Horribly... and thanks to the Fact im streaming everything i could just REWIND the footage AND FOUND THE ERROR! AND IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT I DID THIS!
GOOD DOCUMENTATION IS A MUST FOR EVERYTHING!!! DOCUMENT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE! JUST FUCKING DO IT!3 -
In a call with the big boss of the huge company I'm working for:
HER: Yeah, this MUST be in the next release or we better not even release
She's talking about a fucking carousel to let the user know its stuff has been merged, I get the point! It's important, but do you fucking realize that the user is currently NOT EVEN LOGGING IN?
HOW TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WHAT THEY SEE ONCE INSIDE THE PLATFORM IF THEY CAN'T EVEN LOG THE FUCK IN?
FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH JUST SAYING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND THEN PRENTEDING SHIT TO ACTUALLY WORK PROPERLY5 -
fucking zoho and their fucking sign up and authentication process.
they need a mobile phone number for the sing up, alright fine, I provide. but after submitting the form, nothing fucking happened and i am redirected to the initial sign up page. fuck you.
try again and guess what, said my phone number is already used and i can try sign in with it. ok alright, i try to sign in using my number and my password. guess what? i am redirected back at the initital sign up form page. fuckkkkkkkkkk.
i try again with another number. and then this time, guess what? said the fucking email is already existed. jesus fucking fucking christ.
browse around their help desk and found this. https://help.zoho.com/portal/kb/...
sure I follow the advice and guess what? yeah i'm redirected back to the FUCKING GOD DAMN same page again.
I gave up and wanted to send them a reply on their help desk and try to log in using one of my other existing zoho accounts. GUESS WHAT? THEIR HELP DESK LOG IN IS NOT WORKING. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I click "Sign In". Login as User or Login as Agent dropdown appear. I click Login as User since my user account is already logged in. It nothing happened. It flashed and I am back at the help desk thread with no changes. It is still "Sign In" at the top. I fucking give up.3 -
Fuck-a-doodle-do Fuck Fuck Fuck what a fucking dipshit. Scared the god damn shit out of me.
So I am deep in code, listening to my music pounding out some code and Drupal configurations and I feel a shadowy draft over my right side like someone is watching me.
I work with a guy that will not for the fucking life of me use Slack to send me a message when I have my headphones on or at all for that matter.
He gets up and walks to my cubicle and just stares with a goofy fucking grin on his face. You know the one. LIke a retarded fucking dog eating shit out of a wire brush. Yeah that's the grin. Silently derping with his fucking derp ass Derp McDerpington face waiting on you to turn around an notice him there instead of knocking on the cubicle wall or waving to get your attention.
The FUCK dude? CreepyPasta
2 -
yeah !!!! i thought nothing can't break the mood of a developer ... but some fucking natural disasters matters..
#keralaFloods9 -
I had to write a script to clean some crap from a database.
In particular it had some records containing multiple names and I had to split them.
It was really a nightmare because the separator was not always the same, e.g. "John, Mark and Bob" or "Alice+Mary".
«Ok, let's use a fucking regex: ",|(and)|\\+|/|&"»
Then, I realized there were some "Alessandro" in the database. Yeah, Aless(and)ro. Shit.
So I had eventually added more crap into the database.6 -
Duplicate question
Too opinion based
Fuck you this is a dumb question
But if you actual got a question and give all the information that's needed nobody fucking responds
Yeah well fuck you StackOverflow
It's like they only want to bash people and not actually help1 -
"play to support children affected by conflict" yeah would be great, if they weren't all free to play fucking games about war...
Surely docother games that cost money and simply donate the proceeds from them towards charity
3 -
Yeah these fucking assholes lost a 300 pound gaming chair at my local depot for 3 weeks where I eventually got a refund from Amazon. I ordered a USB desk fan for the heat off ebay, yeah these fucking cunts delivered it to my workplace at 9pm.
Guess who is building my companies new ecommerce platform, where I am currently integrating the shipping options. Fuck off Yodel.7 -
(most of the) Medium authors all suck fucking dick. Those fuckers are the reason the internet needs an IQ lock.
Stats about React vs Angular vs Vue.
Yeah of course let's compare search count of React vs Vue vs Angular but Vue must be searched with ".js" appended. NOT A SINGLE FUCK ADDS .JS WHEN SEARCHING FOR VUE.
Left: stats from article
Right: stats, if you use google trends correctly
7 -
"Use this great extension for your IDE!"
Yeah, thanks, now I have 57 extensions installed and not one of them is useful because my fucking IDE crashes every fifth minute.8 -
Another one of my job recruiter ranting posts
I couldn't add all of it in but they want a senior developer with 4 years of experience (which is I don't believe is senior worthy) but pay peanuts ($25 -$35, is not a lot in New Zealand)
I don't understand how companies can expect someone to be able to be in charge of all their development and expect to pay absolutely nothing, no wonder there are more companies that want to be contracted for work, then being tied down
Oh yeah and the recruiter couldn't even be bothered typing senior mobile developer, they just typed software developer.. fucking lazy
What a fucking joke...
2 -
So it's friday and I'm almost done with all my work and suddenly manager comes in and asks me that client wants to talk to you. I agree and we move into meeting room here is how conversation goes
(C)lient-There is some new feature we want to add -/Describes his feature which is somewhat like an existing feature we have. The feature needs many images which area already present/-
(M)e-Ohkay this can be done. How much time is allotted.
C- You can take a month or two -/I have fucking happy fucking over the moon beacuse i knew it wouldn't take more than 2 days-/
M-Sure
C- Yeah make sure the images are rotated manually.
M-*In Shock* Manually? You mean like i have to right click and then select rotate -/in which ever direction you mother is getting fucked?-/
C-Yeah..
M- But there is a tool which can do the same thing!
C-No the tool maybe wrong we want 100 percent accuracy.
M-*For a while like this -_-* I can start the tool and then manually check if any image is wrongly rotated.
C-No you can be wrong sometimes. .
-/Meanwhile the manager is giving me a stern look like/-
M-If i can be wrong after running tool why i can't BE WRONG WHEN I HAVE TO ROTATE THE IMAGE 10000 TIMESSSSS
C- do it manually.
*He cuts the call!*
I have no fucking option now! THESE FUCKING CLIENT'S AND THEIR BALL LICKING MANAGER FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY JOB
I'LL DO IT BY SCRIPT ONLY FIRE ME YOU FUCKING MORONS
ASSHOLLESSS -
FUCK! For fucking years, you 5 brain celled gimp cunts have been forcing horrific images into production. Are you seriously fucking brain dead, blind or just don't give a fuck because unless your eyes are painted on, even a fucking partially blind person can see that your images aren't scaled proportionately or even match the perfect one that was there in the last release.
Seriously?! At what point did you dim witted fuckwits look at that image that was stretched worse than your mouth from all the cocks in it, and think yeah.. I can put that in production... again...for the millionth time.
But ok, I'm over reacting for having to mention it again. 👍🏼1 -
INTERVIEWER: Let’s say client wants a gif in the EDM design but older outlooks don’t support it. How do you solve it?
ME: Maybe we can try using iframes if outlook supports them and host gif somewhere and use iframes to show it.
INTERVIEWER: Any other solution?
ME: We can probably also detect the email client and just show gif for all other email clients but a picture for outlook.
INTERVIEWER: No but the client wants the gif to show on all email clients
ME: But outlook doesn’t support gifs!!!
INTERVIEWER: yeah
ME: …..
INTERVIEWER: …..
I thought maybe I missed something having been a junior dev and never developing edms. So jumped on the internet after the interview and my second answer is literally how everyone does it. What even was the point of that question? At no point she said yeah that’s a good solution and that’s how we do it in the industry. If outlook doesn’t fucking support gifs then what the fuck kind of solution am I supposed to bring to the fucking table in 5 fucking minutes.7 -
fuck..fuck..FUCK..FUCK YOU MANTIS!!!
fuck you and your fucking invalid security token... fucking cunt...
yeah i love extracting my notes from POST data via the browser dev console cause you fucking delete it when hitting the back button...
THANKS FOR NOTHING -
Gotta love recruiters... Got contacted for a position a couple days back through LinkedIn, talked a bit back and forth, and set up a call for today.
I get up early for the call, prepare and then I get the call.
Caller: "So have you graduated yet?"
... Fucking look at my LinkedIn, can a degree be completed in a year? Yeah, thought so...2 -
*sits at work*
Other dev has a problem, Visual Studio keeps crashing etc.
*Senior dev comes over*
asks what she's struggling with.
she explains it to him, saying it's possibly a port problem.
senior dev goes "ah, yeah that's just gonna take a second"
*senior dev sits down and rolls a new port with two actual dice*
I fucking died.2 -
Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.
-
- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??
Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.4 -
every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)
"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'
yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO
ARRRGGGH
fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker16 -
> develops a long form with reactive input boxes that shows wether the data inserted follows the correct format
> client goes "ok now make it a WhatsApp chat"
> "A WhatsApp chat?"
> "Yeah like you ask the questions of the form with the chat and the customer needs to answer through WhatsApp messages, just copy and paste everything you've already done in the browser"
I swear to god, some people have no fucking clue how development works2 -
FUCK YEAH! FUCKING HELL FUCK YEAH! IT FUCKING WORKED! THE FUCKING CODE FINALLY COMPILED PROPERLY!
What happened:
I was trying to use the Adafruit Feather HUZZA esp8266 with the AdafruitHTTPClient Library... and it didnt work... then I downgraded THE FUCKING FIRMWARE FROM 2.5.0 TO 2.4.2 AND THE BLOODY THING COMPILED!3 -
Damn, I really love programming. ❤️
It's way more uplifting and satisfactory than having a significant other.
Even my botched WP installs are more stable than most pseudo-longterm relationships nowadays.
Oh yeah and another thing:
How is it so extremely hard or even impossible for a lot of women to admit their own fucking wrongdoings to a close person?
Mind boggling.19 -
What was supposed to be a simple HDD to SSD upgrade for my brother ended up taking 3 fucking days.
His computer's idle temp was fucking 90c because of fucking YEARS worth of dust preventing fans from breathing, one of them was even dead so I had to go to best buy to get a new one.
Had a power outage happen in the middle of cleaning the damn dust out before replacing the bad fan. It took close to 24 hours for it to come back, and I just didn't bother until the day after cause fuck that.
When I go back to it, I finish cleaning the dust, clone the old HDD to the new SSD, do the swap out, replace the thermal paste on CPU cause why the fuck not at this point. Then turn it on to test, yeah from 90c down to 20c : |
Yeah... so I charged him for the new fan, and the hour-ish it took me to clean the damn dust and replace the fan... (drive was agreed to be done for free as a favor) Yeah not really worth charging for but I was pissed and that was the 'nicest' way I could show how annoyed I was with him not properly caring for the PC. Like honestly 90 degrees celsius. I refuse to believe he didn't notice impacted performance in his games
7 -
Why is fucking Chrome still not able to auto-hyphenate on Windows desktop?! Yeah I know the dictionaries, OS integration yadda yadda, BUT:
1) TeX did this 40 years ago, this is a solved problem in CS!
2) Firefox is a 3rd party application in Windows, just like Chrome, and can auto-hyphenate!2 -
Stupid stupid stupid API that returns a 204 on failed validations.
Informative docs? Hell no! Here's a few hundred long-ass field names that you need to pass as a JSON.
Doesn't work huh? Yeah, you're structure's all wrong. Some of these are grouped in vaguely named keys like "Wholesale".
Oh you need those as well? Yeah, you can see the whole structure if you try to GET an object.
Oh you need an ID to GET an object? Yeah you can just go ahead and create as many as you want. This is just a sandbox API, it's cool.
Oh that's not the point? Ahh you need the structure to be able to create one! *haha* Right, I'll get back to you on that.
* Email correspondence over 2 weeks time. I have still yet to be able to make a an actual successful request. The fucking 204 doesn't count if it doesn't actually create the resource.
Fucking fucky fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
I swear to god if I ever meet this guy in person, I will probably buy him coffee or beer and have a long talk about how to build proper REST APIs.
Because I'm nice like that.8 -
I did one of those shitty logic bullshit tests these a few weeks ago. It was fucking dumb. Was told to write an algorithm to test when an egg would break if it was dropped off a ladder with 100 steps. An egg would break if you dropped it without being on a ladder. Am I right? The guy was like yeah but what if it didn't? I said Well it would. Eggs are fragile. How about you go away with your fictional fucking logic and ask me some proper question that test my actual coding knowledge instead of trying to pony about on your high horse. Cunt!7
-
I was just begged to play 30 minutes of monopoly with my family
With all those versions of monopoly I'll have to be more precice, it's the worst of them all
It's monopoly fucking zapped, you need an ios device to play it, it's been developed for the iPhone 4 and maybe a tablet because they didn't even update it for current phones, not even iPhone 5
The credit cards are a fucking joke, they work by touching certain parts of the touchscreen and don't work 85% of the time you try to use them, 5% of the time just choosing the wrong person
At least your relieved when 10% chance kicks in where it works for once
Instead they could developed for Android and used nfc tags making it reliable and fun, no it has to be shitty, cheap and frustrating
Like seriously, they could've also used qr codes instead, or just have fucking buttons on the screen because you need the fucking ios app anyway
The minigames are at least a bit of thought, but don't really make sense either
Money doesn't seem to matter, sometimes paying another player when it shouldve been pay to the bank (yeah, not only the credit cards are fucked, the whole money system is shit)
It's a fucking abomination of a game
Halfway through I searched for the company name on the board...
...
....
ITS FUCKING HASBRO, OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING HASBRO THAT FUCKING PEACE OF SHIT FUCKING COMPANY THAT DESERVES TO ROT IN HELL HAVING CREDIT CARDS STUFFED UP THEIR FUCKING ASSES7 -
Yeah, please fucking tell the other knob I accidentally starred, ++d, liked, .. his X, that's a great function, better yet, why not make it fully archived, so even if you remove it a second later he's going to know you're the asshole that did it3
-
Pressed the button +.
Wooow
I can choose to rant or ask a question ;) good surprise.
Anyhow !rant
Decided to watch Mr.Robot...
Im not very good at coding yet but i want to be ;) coz i want to be a badass like him ;)4 -
Best client I have ever experienced. Kappa
So, I got job to recreate one old website, because the old one was incredibly fucked up. She told us, it was made by someone retarded.
The code was fucked up even more than UI. It was definitely written by some kind of idiot. Diacritics, mixed languages, no OOP, no FW, just copy&paste. Yeah copy and paste for every page.
The DB was another level of shit. Inifine is not enough to describe it. Column names with whitespace, diacritics, uppercase, lowercase...pure hell. Yeah and I had to import it.
Whenthe new website was ready for testing I got an email from her that it was her who made the website... HER!! Fucking hell, no more of this please!1 -
Fucking regulations, can’t play with twilio api.
Waiting for verification of my identity to make a fucking test call to myself.
Wanted to make a proof of concept during weekend, but won’t happen cause some fucking policies.
Fuck you government pigs.
Probably need to wait to fucking Monday. I will forget what I wanted to do till that time.
We are making your life easier all the time in the news, yeah right eat those popups motherfuckers.
Next regulation - government code reviews before push to master and programmer certification, for sure those fuckers are able to do it.
Really considering emigration from Europe right now.
No fucking point to start a business on this continent.
More fucking law please so we would need a lawyer before wiping ass.
Need to watch that southpark episode about security toilet checkout once again.2 -
I understand that some people have trouble with home office.
Well. I don't.
But at least have the fugging frigging respect and
1) answer my bloody questions, especially if I'm frigging nice and make a questionaire and notify you without a shitty meeting.
2) when you ask for an appointment during non working hours.... Then don't be fucking late and especially don't fucking miss it without telling.
3) And don't... Don't fucking give me a bullshit excuse like "yeah, I forget".
At least an honest apology....
I'm currently really close to murder people or call an meeting where I declare that waiting for appointments will be counted as work time.
(hint: this is the fucking sixth time in 4 weeks someone fucked up. And I'm really pissed)3 -
Fucking microshaft! I bought a custom controller from their shop as a birthday gift to my brother. Fucking first thing the website crashes with 500 with my main account so I call support. Said them its a backend issue and they should let the devs investigate. Support says they can't even contact them in anyway shape or form. Fucking great!
So since my account seems to has broken their backend I create another account using some random email while support tells me to fucking log in and out again (yeah man I tried that). OK wonderful new account worked I can buy the controller.
Now one year later the controller just fucking stops working (probably why its called Xbox one! controller). Wonderful I paid 90€ for that shit thing and now it won't connect anymore. Tried everything and searched countless forums, nothing helped. Fuckers say: JuSt ConNeCT iT tO YoUr XbOx oNe and it might magically work (TM). You fuck I bought it for PC why the fuck can I not just fix it using a PC. Do you want me to buy a fucking Xbox for 500 bucks just to get the fucking controller to work!? You shitfaced monkey!
OK then lets try that support again because that worked so well last time. I put in the serial number and... Fucking unrecognized number. Unrecognized number my ass. Go suck on a spiked club you buffoon!
Now I'm fucked because I don't have the fucking receipt anymore and the email was send to that fucking temp account I don't even know the email address for anymore (ノ°益°)ノ1 -
Started a new job yesterday...
The working hours are from 7:30 - 17:00, which includes a 30 minute lunch break.
I don't know how many times it was repeated that we start at 7:30. And each time in a I'm-joking-but-actually-dead-fucking-serious-so-you-better-have-your-ass-here-by-seven-thirty manner!
Oh yeah... and the drive to work is about 30-40min! 😩4 -
My vocabulary is way to small to express my feelings when being forced to use .Net 4.0. Just spent like 2 hours searching why my Api requests failed.
Turns out it used TLS 1.0 which got rejected by the server. Then I spent another 2 hours finding out how to make it use TLS 1.2. Surprisingly it does work now (although it came out before TSL 1.2 specification). But yeah still a fucking pile of shit.1 -
Day 2 of trying to get into android development with flutter.
- Downloads Android Studio
- Tries to download Android-SDK from Android Studio's SDK Manager: "Error: Android SDK is missing or out of date".
YEAH NO FUCKING WAY, THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO DOWNLOAD IT.
- Uninstalls flutter and android studio
Lost all motivation to get into mobile development again.7 -
Boss thinks the CMS that another dev built over the course of a good year, will make customers say "ooooh yeah, I will definately come to you and pay a shitload of money for a buggy and unfinished system, even tho I will never be able to leave with a working copy of my website like I could with wordpress".
The whole effing things is based on an old, outdated version of a popular PHP framework.
Oh yeah, and I can not update <the framework> because the dev has tinkered with the core files :)
Yay.
The whole fucking thing won't run on PHP7 and will explode right into my boss's face.
Not mine though, because I will be gone by then :) -
They want what?! Call me away from vacation even though I'm not employed there anymore because they are to STUPID to read a FUCKING EMAIL?!
I sent the mail to THREE PEOPLE with the path to the docs and friggin TRIPLE CHECKED THE PATH AND FILES...
"Yeah could you please be there tomorrow morning?"2 -
So....
I'm loving my personal project in Node.JS but I have to say, whoever would use this for any involved professional purpose is a fucking retard.
A complete fucking retard.
Errrors related to their weakly typed bs would have been caught by a compiler in literally ANY OTHER LANGUAGE. Yeah it would take more time to tag objects etc, but then it would be DONE RIGHT and a look-ahead compiler wouldn't be necessary to tell you 'oh the reference could point to a completely different type ! nothing will warn you of this, but if you sort of hover after a certain line the source of the error it took a fucking hour of runtime to produce will be clear !'......
remember just say @NoToJavascript21 -
Trying to learn 10 finger system as a gamer, fucking WASD was burned in my mind for a long time already...
Yeah, I never bothered since I'm pretty fast at typing anyways, but I'm hoping I could get a little faster like this, for the long run
Ah yeah also to stop looking at the keyboard
Now I'm curious, what do you guys type like?
If that makes sense12 -
You know those Jolly go lucky fucking always happy and usually slightly retarded ppl?
Yeah those, try having one of them thinking you're a free tech hotline..
My head hurts from all that brightness and stupidity that person emits -_- -
Holly fucking crap
After my review meeting on friday last week this morning was called again by our technical manager, accounts manager and sales manager set e down
TechManager: Ok so after our meeting we deliberated with the rest of the management board
and we decided to add more responsibility to your plate
AcManager: yeah we feel that you can be of assistance to the organization
TechManager: Yeah our technical department is short stuffed and since you also do technical stuff we want you to also be taking charge of the department whilst I'm not in the office...
But we have some areas we are not happy and those areas will need to be improved on
any questions?
Me: No
(thinking: ok this is an opportunity for me to ask for a raise )1 -
Fucking hell it pisses me off when you go to so much trouble to streamline processes, set up systems that improve workflow and solve issues, find better solutions and show how they make life easier... and people are like "yeah nah let's just do things the same old shitty way we've always done things".
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻5 -
Error reporting was flooded with failed database connection connections with me being baffled what was causing it.
Yeah, fucking network operator didn't tell us anything about maintenance work. Fuck you, too. -
remember that company that ghosted me after I spent 2 hours taking 2 "aptitude" tests for them?
or the EIGHT HOUR challenge I wasted my time on because the guy said I didn't know enough redux, even though they were the ones completely overcomplicating (and frankly bastardizing) its usage? oh also imagine using sagas in 2023... fucking 🤡clowns🤡 get with the program, glad i wasnt hired by you, good luck finding a competant dev
yeah, was good times...1 -
Real story:
Started fixing one file in one repo, build, doesn't build, go into other repo fix just one file there, but first I need to make myself a toolchain, making of toolchain fails because it depends on some dirty fix in the file I was fixing, refactor and clean that to a proper state, fuck yeah toolchain builds, source toolchain run make now, breaks with undefined reference, no time to debug plus fuck this automake, remove it, make a makefile, builds fuck yeah, shit now unittest are failing because why not, refactored that makefile as well, everything compiles, automate the test fully so that they are ran on the target out of make just because I'm a nice guy, fuck yeah everything works, commit this repo, commit other repo, review time, one of the guys gave up, the other one did it properly, found some shit there, fix that, done, merge, triggers CI fucking pass
All of this was done in 3h, Talk about efficiency -
!rant; story(well, kinda)
I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");1 -
Ok...
FUCK ASUS
...
FUCK THEM...
PREBUILD PC? YEAH... BROKE AFTER A FUCKING YEAR... AN ASSFUCKED YEAR! HOW COULD SOMEONE BUILD SUCH A SHIT OF A MACHINE...
Oh well... saved the grafics card, HDD and SSD... time to get new Parts and build a custom one myself...
FUCK YEAH!
Warranty you say? No i tell you...10 -
1am and I'm waiting for my zipped project to finish uploading to OneDrive, so I can send my prof a link to it, because our fucking intranet just gloriously shat itself again -_-... Because a GitHub link is too mainstream I guess?
Ah yeah, deadline was 1h ago, but who cares about deadlines right?... -
Honestly, I'm so fucking sick and tired of companies trying to sell pandemics as a part of their products. It's just disgusting.
So, yeah, dear apify, if not the fact that I really need your product, I would tell you to go to hell.
-
A colleague said he wanted to call today.
Yeah, today, but not 10 fucking minutes before I planned to go home! -
Oh yeah, that one's good.
So it's been at least one year since my Lenovo Y520 (bought about 18months ago) has been throttling its i5 at 800Mhz for no reason.
The thing was so fucking slow, you can't even imagine.
A few months back I found why: the fucking processor raised a PROCHOT flag constantly, even though it never exceeded 60°C.
So now, everytime I boot my computer, I have to run a fucking script to reset this fucking flag. Seriously Lenovo, what the fuck? -
*laughs like a crazy mad man*
It's finnaly fucking happening!
No more need for developer mode and now I just need to wait for gamemaker studio 2 to be released on Linux (yeah it'll never happen I know)
-
So, yeah...
Something like 2 years ago? I was bored in school, so I decided to make something on website that I was creating then...
I wrote few lines and sent file to the server.
BANG!
I don't know how, but I saved it as "index.php" in the root folder of website. I overwritten fucking index.php, lost this fucking file. Soo... I had two options: make index.php from the beginning, or restore backup and loose changes form 24 hours. I choosed the second option. -
Me: "Yeah so I have this problem, I generated an environment and setup a NodeJS docker image on it and it returns "Cannot find public IP address", help"
SO: "Yeah but what are you trying to achieve? Here is a link of the documentation everyone saw and that didn't help at all."
Me: "I just want to... reach the fucking server? Without trouble? Please?"
Some people need some cocaine in they morning coffee, if it can help then open their fucking eyes -
At any given company, there are
those that do
and
those that do not
I've mostly (and sadly) worked with the latter
and those are the people who are like "ahhh yeah, no worries, don't worry about it! we need you to stay positive, not rage! why you get so worked up?" and i'm like YEAH YOU DONT HAVE TO FUCKING WORRY BECAUSE YOU DONT DO ANYTHING! YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY IN THIS COMPANY AND ARE A FLOATING BLOB COLLECTING YOUR PAYCHECK, THAT'S WHY I GET ALL NEW ASSIGNMENTS AND AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM WHILE YOU ARE STILL WORKING ON TASKS ASSIGNED TO YOU TWO QUARTERS AGO!!!!!!!!
god who am i kidding, it'll never change
...man I am on an absolute rant rampage the past few days, feels good >:) -
FUCK APPLICATION LEVEL FIREWALLS!
So i cam online today, thought already lets open the shitty outlook webmail client. Holy crap .... thats way to much mails. Many of them are missed teams messages. So i open up teams and holy crap. Like every third dev in my company send me a message screaming "gitab is not working!!!".
Yesterday i updated it so imediately get in panic mode - what the shitty hack have i done?!
So yeah gitlab seems to be working just fine, everything is speedy and responsive, so i call one of my fellow devs and ask him whats wrong? And he is like oh yeah there comes a ldap error saying timeout or something.
I try to login with active directory. Works like a charm. Try another account, same problem?!
Google the problem, search gitlab tickets. Nope there is no open bug or sth. like this.
So alright lets call the network guy. "Yo, can you check if there is something ldap-like getting blocked to the gitlab server?" - He is like oh yeah damn like almost every damn request is getting blocked. Ah wait, there was an firewall update yesterday too. Yeah ldap is no longer ldap. BLOCK THAT SHIT!
After 10 minutes of figuring out what shitty type is detected by the firewall and what needs to be whitelisted to make it fucking work again it seems to work.
But ha no, there is another update rolling on, so same shit like 15 minutes later.
Now it seems to work and i have to inform every damn fcking developer that it works again. And yeah alright you sent a mail, but fuck it, i will call you though! So yeah just answering calls, mails and chat messages. Like why the fuck cant you read your mails like a damn normal person?!1 -
!rant... but just gotta say... this new M1 MacBook feels fucking awesome. And I already had a late 2019 MacBook. The actual feel is different... right? Not just the chip? But it's super super fast. Also NO fan when I record screencasts...
It's super fucking rad... and - yeah. Just kinda want to shout that. Maybe I'm crazy...10 -
(Spoilers about Ready Player one here)
FUCK YEAH!
I watched Ready Player One in 4DX AND IT COSTED AN UNHOLY FUCKING AMOUNT OF MONEY!
yet it was THE BEST MOVIE Ive ever watched, AND I MEAN IT! IT WAS SO FUCKING GREAT! THE CGI THE ACTORS!
STEVEN DID AN EXCELLENT JOB!
and as a Trekkie I LOVED the scene of Hallidays death I mean his coffin WAS A FUCKING PHOTON TORPEDO! and in the Last scene you could see a bat'leth HOW HOW COOL WAS THAT!
And dont get me started on all the other References like the Holy Handgranade, Rubiks Cube, FUCKING BATMAN HELPING SOMEONE CLIMBING, Minecraft OASIS edition, Halo... I CANT ITS TOO MUCH!1 -
Here's a fucking challenge:
Generate an MD5 hash in React Native!
crypto - NOPE deprecated, react native throws when you try to import it anyway
react-native-crypto - NOPE, needs to make use of a shim that recursively edits node_modules... hmmmm yeah you think thats a good thing to have?
react-native-fast-crypto - NOPE, no TypeScript types, no documentation in general, only supports sha512?! WTF
garbage fucking idiot tooling stupid dumbass stupid splat splat barf splat22 -
## Learning k8s
Sooo yeah, 2 days have been wasted only because I did not reset my cluster correctly the first time. Prolly some iptables rules were left that prevented me from using DNS. Nothing worked...
2 fucking days..
2 FUCKING DAYS!!! F!!!11 -
Fucking Chrome. I wish him cancer to die soon. Yeah, please fucking give me as event target svg element! Well done!2
-
tldr; Fuck Windows networks
I do some first level support for a befriended architect when i got some sparetime after regular work. Its nice and easy extra cash most of the times but not today.
We decided to ditch the money thiving IT admin that did not care about doing his work. And instead of taking over his pile of shit i adviced to redo the whole network, drop the massive server that did idle 99% of the day and update all PCs some of them did still run IE8 and had no active anti virus, yeah that dude was real shit.
Anyways i proceded with the whole process today and everything worked expect the fucking windows network, that fucking domain controller setup blocked the fucking internetconnection even though DNS and DHCP where set up correctly. Why does fucking ms need to make it so difficult to set up fucking network accounts....
I will have to finish this shit up tomorrow and this on a weekend...2 -
Fuck this fucking shit...
Be me, plan a trip to a festival with friends, vacation approved, get up at 3am to drive 9 hours from Germany to Italy, find a nice spot for our tent and yeah...
I was unloading stuff of my car and standing in range of the tailgate and get the shit smashed onto my head...
Yeah I'm a volunteer firefighter, so good at paramedics, so I applied a pressure bandage myself, because shit was bleeding all out of my head...
Then I got a ride with the ambulance to the hospital and now about a hour in the waiting room...
Please cross your fingers, that the X-ray that I'm waiting for shows no damages and that i can continue my festival...
What a happy first festival day...5 -
I FIGURED IT OUT! PAYPAL EXPRESS CHECKOUT NOW RESIDES UNDER BY REIGN. HAIL ME I'M A FUCKING GENIUS FUCK YE I LOVE PAYPAL HELL THE FUCK YEAH! fuck carrots though
-
!rant
So I'm making the system for my University's cafeteria.
Pretty ez and all but THIS FUCKING PAGE, THIS GOD FORSAKEN PAGE JUST BUGS.
I'll elaborate: Basically I have a bunch of pages that bring up some pie charts and a .pdf of earnings, all of them work and they are pretty much cookie cutter so I can re-use the code. But this random one, with the same code, repeats the same entry a couple of times.
And by god have I tried to change every variable, code format and minimal shit. Still doesn't budge.
Guess I'll have a cheeky ciggy break and try to fix it later when I'm not steaming my noggin
Ps: yeah yeah, shitty jpg quality but its the "Busca Unidade" field that just cloned itself 7 more times underneath
-
Yeah he was officially free today but he still managed to come a couple of hours. Fucking asshole go fix your fucking code damn idiot. This whole site is broken. Thanx mr wannabe a leaddev. Hope you crash with your damn racecar2
-
Yeah sure keep buying your latest and greatest Bluetooth WiFi Wireless Charging and fucking awesome earphones...
I'm doing fine with my 3$ from China analogic crap.1 -
feathers js is pretty fucking garbage. All of typescripts types are junk, and the fact that it's "Getting started" example is a mother-fucking chat service drives me god-damn nuts.
Just show me how to return some fucking text first, yeah? Maybe some json? Is that so fucking hard!?
Fucking Garbage!3 -
Oh yeah!! Fucking great!!! Payday delayed due to Digital Ocean's NYC1 hypervisor's maintenance woohoo!!1
-
Me: *What* is the process to do X in this environment? The link is not working. (Link available in only application 1)
Senior colleague: Through which application?
Me: *Mentions the full name of application 1*. Application 2 works as well.
SC: Yeah it can be done by application 2 as well.
Me: *waits*
*Okay, TELL ME FUCKING HOW!!! I asked for the process, not about its possibility.* -
I think after 3 months of lockdown my colleagues transformed into 🥝 or something
Yeah here's the new account
No password for it in database
This prevents from updating password
I just about had it with these fucking amateurs, good thing payday is near, I need a shitload of more drugs for motivational purposes -
RANT!
4 months ago I asked my company do we get new contracts?
Yes in December they said. In December I asked again. yes in two weeks. Two weeks before the end of the year. contract received. It is worse than previous contract. 20% less pay, overtime not payed. Obligated to do overtime once in a while. And more issues just to name a few
Happy fucking holidays.
Start your year fresh being unemployed yeah!11 -
What a fucking day.
Half a day looking for functionality on github that was lost in some branch and not merged to master. All remotes was pruned. Finally restored it from some remote on production and merged to master before Saturday release. Yeah !!!!
Month saved fuckers, pick some more hardcore shit to surprise me. To strong to fail. -
Last week we were only one step ahead of going in production mode with the angular web app i coded a half year long. Sounds good right?
Yeah this morning my boss said in the dev Meeting, blazer is now in preview mode, let's do it with this tech, so our full stack is in c#...
He is not a web dev. He want to step back from coding in the near future, but yeah let's use fucking Blazer 😥
For the rest of the day, i started with a Blazer Test Project.. great start into the short week.
How about your start?6 -
The last 5 days I have been searching for an issue! Non stop communicating with all involved partys!
Now I found the solution. I tell them all happy about my findings. And what do I get to hear?
"Yeah, I was thinking the whole time that that was the issue."
Are you fucking kidding me? Why the hell didn't you tell me??? At least a hint would have been appreciated...1 -
I've left my MacBook to technical assistance for the thrid time. I've bought it on December (the touchbar model, on day one, arrives on December). I paid a lot for it and since then I got s broken key on my keyboard and a faulty display.
Now I got my battery swollen.
Fucking Apple. At least I'm happy with the OS and everything when it's hardware-faults free.
Oh yeah and I switched to MacBook for the construction quality... Bitter irony.
I hope this is the last fucking time, damn.6 -
Interview horror show: The time I got ghosted after the first interview.
I shit you not, I waited and waited for a reply, and since they didn't give any respect, I didn't show them any back and never sent a follow-up.
Yeah, fucking clowns, I hope your company burns to the ground with that level of professionalism.6 -
Some people really get paid to not think at all! Licensing server stuff got changed by one of our suppliers. Licensing client basically screams nonsensical errors when wanting to move a license. Supports response: "Yeah, in rare cases there might be an error. There will be an update to fix this in the coming weeks."
Why do you push online updates before the local ones! Fucking electrical socket impregnators!2 -
Just had my first lesson of the course Web Development. We got an explanation of what html, css, js and php are. Nothing bad ever happened from repeating what you already know, so yeah..
But then came the horror: We need to make a website in FUCKING WORDPRESS!! I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD A FUCKING WEBSITE WITHOUT A FUCKING SHIT CMS!!
So I showed the teacher my personal website and asked if I could use and/or extend that. They loved it, but I still need to build a website using fucking wordpress!! Not even using php! No, we need to build it with the UI of wordpress.
I know that's not even hard. It's just.. WORDPRESS!!
I guess I'll just have to live with it :/2 -
!Rant
Guys guys guys!!!!!!! And girls!!!
Not only did I recently obtain 2 certifications the past two or three weeks, but a company called me back to see if I was still interested in an internship that I applied for a month ago!! I sent her an updated resume and she's sending it to the IS (information systems) guy (only one for the branch in my city) and if he likes what he'll see they'll call me back 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄.
I'm so stoked because I started this bullshit job at Dave and Buster's and it's not even really technical. I started like two weeks ago but I don't give a fuck, if I can find a better opportunity elsewhere, I'm taking it. Even if it's an internship.
Only thing is, if they want me to start as soon as possible then I'll want to, but wouldn't it be best to do a two week notice for D&D?2 -
!dev
So I work at a monitoring station (yeah not a professional dev yet), so basically our entire day is spent on the phone. Yesterday morning, our phone system broke. Everyone is getting calls from all departments. Even departments they're not in.
As if my job isn't stressful enough as it is, now this fucking thing happens, and whattya know, shit still isn't working today... -
"Microsoft programming chief to devs: Tell us where windows hurts you"
You must be kidding, right? Since Windows 10 it hurst the moment it is installed on my fucking PC. I don't want those fucking cloud functionality on my fucking PC. If I want it, I would work on a Mac FFS!
Let me decide when to update my god damn machine! Even with a fucking enterprise edition it is not possible the way I want it! Yeah, I don't have to login with a Microsoft Account, but there is always a small, little, Microsoft-Hating-Devil in my Head telling me: "Who knows, if they don't sync your clipboard even, if you don't login with a Microsoft Account?" (Cloud synced Clipboards are the next bis shit coming!!!)
There is not much left, and Linux will be my all day OS (second boot atm).4 -
God I HATE UNRAID! FUCK THIS PIECE OF JUNK
CRASHING EVERY FEW FUCKING HOURS
AND. I. CANT. EVEN. GET. A. FUCKING. LOG. FILE! LIKE WHAT THE HELL!
Oh, its sooo reliable they said, use Unraid they said, the docker support is amazing, they said...
FUCK IT! FUCK THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE!
I JUST WANT TO RUN PLEX AND SONARR ON ONE FUCKING MACHINE, AND UNRAID IS JUST LIKE: yeah, its a good time to crash now, YEET!
and its gone...2 -
Tldr; Rust community could definitely be way less annoying, but it's way more annoying listening to everyone bitch about it all the fucking time.
rant()
Tired of the Rust hype? Too fucking bad. Quit complaining that people like well-designed languages more than shitty ones. Yeah, rust devs can be real fucking zealous, but at least the language is good. If you don't like listening to people say "why not rust?" ignore them or ask yourself the same fucking question ahead of time so you don't feel defensive when someone asks it later.
Read some shit about how "it doesn't matter what you build it with if the software is good, its all the same". Ever heard of "right tool for the right job"? Rust has applications all over the place, so people are going to talk about it a lot. Also, just no. Like, Python shouldn't be in the Linux kernel for a lot of reasons, so the tools you choose can constrain whether or not your software is actually "good."
Ever heard of "unsubstantiated trust"? Yeah, you might be good at writing C, but you can get that shit to compile with nasty fucking problems and C's a straight up foot gun in my hands. It's hard to write shitty functioning Rust that does what you say it does, which is less unsubstantiated trust.2 -
!dev
There are no right answers in parenting, but there are sure as hell wrong ones and if the fucking backfire effect is too much to keep you from realizing that half of your stupid fucking decisions are delusional at best then you should probably start rethinking some things. I fucking hate dealing with other people fucking up and being stupid and I know I'm going to have to keep dealing with it in one form or another but god why I'm so done with this I just fucking don't want to deal with anyone anymore I don't want to deal with myself anymore
I dunno I don't have anyone to rant to so I can't like be specific here because it's public af but you know typing this makes me feel a little better but I still just don't want to deal with this shit anymore I don't even know what I do want to do there's like nothing the positive feedback is going away and I don't know what to fucking do with myself and I don't know how to change anything I can't fucking fix anything I mean I can fix my shitty code but I'm never getting anywhere with that and whenever I want to fix anything that's actually important I just fuck up regardless of how hard I try I just don't want to fucking try anymore I don't know if I'll actually hit post but I have to put this somewhere so probably but ugh I don't even fucking ugh literally all of my problems are so fucking dumb and small and elementary but I CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING I keep ranting about these fucked up people I have to deal with and yeah they fucking suck and sometimes I wish they didn't exist but I know I'm just as if not more of an idiot and everyone would probably be better off if I didn't exist but wait no that would have happened but you guys don't get to know about that because it's specific and putting that here would fuck shit up but someone else could so that so much better and I don't know everyone who interacts with me is just hurting themselves like fuck why do some friends like blades better than me maybe because I'm even less caring and even more damaging than a stupid fucking inanimate sharp piece of metal god fucking ugh okay I can't focus on anything why is this even okay side rant why are atheists so fucking hated like yes maybe some can't understand their motives for like doing things but nobody can really understand each other's like religious people all use god or gods in their own way why do you have to think of people who have zero gods as opposed to your nonzero as less human than you there's so much wrong with that okay that side rant is over but this whole thing is a side rant so cool fuck my life lol uuh I don't know I don't want to stop typing I don't know why though I guess I just actually I have no fucking idea I'm just here doing this I should be like fucking asleep I'm passing the fuck out after this ugh okay okay okay okay okay okay okay umm I really want to quote a certain person that I really hate right now and dissect them and prove every single fucking stupid argument they make wrong but I feel like that would not be good since this is so public but I swear I hate this and you know what if you're thinking that yes I AM A FUCKING WHINY BITCH DEAL WITH IT I'M WHINING YOU DENSE FUCKER YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT AND FEEL SMUG IT'S BETTER TO VENT HERE THAN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY ACTUALLY FUCK IT CALL ME OUT ON IT I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS OUT ON GOD AAAAAAH okay uuh yeah that's fun I'm a fuck up okay okay so you ask "how can you be a fuck up you're so young her der" okay being young generally is a disadvantage because you haven't had opportunity but boy have I and I sure fucked every single one of those up so yeah fun stuff you know woo haha mmkay I wish I had friends online this late because then I could like rant to a person and shit I mean this community is people but not people I know and it's not really back and forth as much and ugh okay right uuh yeah good um ugh I used to be able to get this shit out by doing something I'm good at but now I'm shit at everything and I can't motivate myself and it's all just bottled up and there's so much shit and nothing works and fuck there's probably a simple solution to everything I'm facing but I'm such a dense piece of shit that I can't find any of those stupid fucking ugh okay now I'm looking at my stupid hands typing ugh I hate the things right back up here uuh uuh I have 500 charas left lets fucking go I don't want to stop I mean I do want to stop but like by that I mean I just want to not exist I do want to keep typing here because it's the only thing distracting me but yeah uuh right um some people were like wtf happened with your stalking thing and this isn't where I should put it but fuck it whatever some weird guy just logged on for 10 mins to take a screenshot of the time being 2:22:22 and logged off and boom the school year ended uuh yeah kay right fuck I have to end it now
Aaaah okay uuh right bye I'm really sorry if you actually read that whole thing4 -
At my IT security job(yeah, it sucks sometimes. I want a dev job but that's another story).
Needed to help some end users use and install a toolbar and get it to download through a proxy so they can edit stupid government online forms, which only supports IE 11. Obviously it didn't work.
Wait a MOTHETFUCKING MINUTE.
It's 2017. What the fuck. Who the fuck uses fucking toolbars anymore.
How fucking retarded and out of touch with reality the government can be, when it forces its users to download a fucking toolbar(with admin priviliges!) and use fucking IE 11 just to access a basic feature of the website.
Another fucking proof that governments are cancer and we need Anarcho-capitalism ASAP.2 -
Stupid monkey-shit-eating faggot! Choke on a flabby, pulsating camel genital while the balls beating your ugly face. We supposed to be business partners, still all your promises mean a fucking cheesburger from a syphilitic pub you arrogant shame of humankind!!!! Did I say we don't have time for this or that project in time. FUCKING YES!!! Did you care. NO! Did I say write a proper contract with the client?????!!!! DID I?? Still I've done my best with everything beeing hell of a priority! Did I missed some bugs yeah I fuckin did. And after all the shit I have pulled you out you dare to fucking cry for the investors because the company not producing enough profit BECAUSE OF FUCKING ME?????? You peace of bloody phlegm!!! Where are we??!!! Clappy clap. In fucking kindergarden?!!! Okay I am done with this shit I dont care promising commision... I am out. Jobs in Hungary at a reliable company with decent humans?! I fucking hate this world full of people like this cockroach!!!!4
-
Stipid piece of shit nvidia cuda development kit installer.
"Yeah, you can extract and install the files wherever you want, but I'll delete BOTH directories if you do so"
Fucking 3 times I tried to install this shit untill i realized this. -
in this takehome challenge: let's see how much we can over-fucking-complicate every single thing. You want one selectors (that could just be one-liners) stacked on top of MORE one liner selectors? you got it!
you want sagas with fucking wierd ass syntax that can be replaced with i don't know, BUILT IN JAVASCRIPT??!!? you got it!
oh yeah, and with all this complexity, not a single line is written with TypeScript...
...i can't remember the last time i fucking had to write the characters 'propTypes' on a react project
what the hell is this, 2015?
it's absolutely mind exploding mind boggling how these orgs operate
double the work, double the time, double the cost
but what do i know? i'm just a 🤡 -
This world really hands you jack all. And everytime it's going well it smack you down just for good measure. What people say is mostly meaningless. "Oh I stand for this and that", yeah I saw that when you did the exact opposite while fucking me over like im not worthy of being treated like a human
Hey, at least it's a nice serving of reality for a naive fool like me. "Never expect anything nice from anyone": Noted3 -
Haproxy.
Backlog.
30_000.
Nooooo.... Why on earth do you do that.
And yeah....
Looking at the sysctl settings someone took a road trip to Google and stackoverflow and just copy pasted every mother fucking stupid bullshit bingo inside it.
Half of this doesn't apply as the kernel version doesn't even support it anymore (for good reasons) or makes sense as these settings have NOTHING not even REMOTELY to do with the servers hw setup.
If you have no fucking clue what you do, ram the keyboard up your arse till you enjoy it.
But stay the fuck away from administration and the fuck away from anything that carries responsibilities.
Joyful task today: unclogging old failing Haproxy setups while being busy with 3 other tasks.
And if you wanna know why they're failing and it needed to happen today... Weeeell....
They restarted. And today they decided to restart so fast people finally noticed it.
Cause yeah. They did that the last fucking years every few hours. Now every 5 minutes.
:@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ -
I am so fucking frustrated... I have no hope in job nowdays, for freshers Its like hell.
Thinking of creating a new startup...
Yeah fuck everything, I'll do it.😤1 -
Just spend two fucking days debugging a few methods in our program. I used unit tests to call those methods (don't want to navigate through the complete program workflow)...
Yeah, guess what: the test cleanup includes a fucking rollback transaction function. So NONE NADA ZERO FUCKING CHANGES WILL BE PERSISTED. Fuck me3 -
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Uh yeah have fun
And my fucking mail server still does not get through most of spam filters even though DKIM, SPF and DMARC pass -
My co-worker X and I worked late nights for a project every single day including weekends, and our fucking senior manager invites X to his party and not me. Seriously.. does he even know I'm in the same fucking team?.
I mean yeah X did a great job working hard and shit.. but so did I.
I really hate my manager.
Fuck Him..6 -
Hello my dear friend. I hate you. You are asking me why? You know exactly why.
I'm fucking tired with dealing with your fucking projects. Yeah, your unresponsive websites projects. You shove me a website, with crapton of images, JavaScript fireworks and you even dare to ask why website is lagging on mobile?
Also I hate you for ugly, custom fonts without Polish letters and you fucking are mad at me why some letters look different?
Last thing. If you ever again ask me why a website (look again at projects you are giving to me) is looking different on mobile, then I swear I will fucking rape you. (but maybe I will maybe kill you instead) -
I just fucking rage quit SSMS...
Was trying to call a long named stored procedure and started typing the name when suddenly, autocomplete pops up with the name of the procedure.
I'm like hell yeah, I press tab to complete it, it appends the name to what I already wrote...
I delete it, start writing again, pops up again, I press down to select it and press enter, it appends it again.
*Ragequit*
Who the fuck QA'd that?1 -
Voice call with the whole dev team
Former team leader: Yeah, basically we stopped using RxJS because it ended up being too complicated, every minor problem required so much code to solve :(
IHateForALiving, extremely loudly: WELL WELL WELL, GOOD FUCKING MORNING, SUNSHINE3 -
Today it's finally snowing again in my city, for the first time after years. Fuck yeah!
As I'm waiting for the bus, a car splashes my legs with freezing cold, dirty water. Dammit. Then a second car splashes me the same way. Fucking dammit. Then as the bus arrives, I close my umbrella and that little shit breaks. Motherfucking Dammit.3 -
FUCKING NGINX...........
I moved a website to a new server, and nginx redirects me to another fucking website on the same server. I have been trying to fix that for FUCKING 3 HOURS. I did everything. Disabled EVERY site on that server except that one, works. I go back. Guess what..... haha it goes back and FUCKING REDIRECTS ME TO OTHER SITES. You have to be fucking kidding me right 🖕. I check if I miswrote anything, check if it's the control panels fault (doesn't look like it). I make a vhost myself for the site (with the other still active to check if it detected the vhost). Reload...
nginx: "One vhost was ignored because the servername already exists". Yeah yeah you twat nginx.
So le me disables every site again (except le not working site). I enable every site again.
nginx: "owh hey * someip * heres the site".
Me: .............. 😡😡 fucking twat. 🖕🖕
BTW, have no clue what caused it. Seems to work now. It shouldn't be a DNS issue I checked that. Anyone any ideas? Appreciate it.3 -
Yeah... I spent way too much fucking time thinking my multi threading was fucked up. When in actuality I had a parameter in a JSON payload for an API call I neglected to check for changes.
A fucking form id! Just one parameter had me frustrated for 2 hours.1 -
Shit. Today I had to code some required Migration Script for a Client. Deadline tomorrow.
It's nearly finished. But the Last thing isn't working correct.
I'll try to find the bug when I am at Home.
Yeah. I hope I Can find it.
But.. but. The FUCKING TRAIN WAS CANCELLED. SHIT! I have to find the bug you piece of Shit!2 -
There weren't enough barbed poles in my sorry ass apparently. For I have inserted in a big one by deciding to use blender. 😬
Zero background in animation but I want to create a little animation and PowerPoint isn't proving enough for it, and after fucking around with Synfig I realized I actually need a 3d animation tool.
So yeah. Basically, fucked myself. -
OK, So at my school I work as the assistant webmaster of our school newspaper. I joined the newspaper before my 'boss' but was demoted when he joined because nobody had anything for me to do? Yeah I was confused too. Anyway now I was working on making Bois for the writers and to format it I'm using simple html. So now the scene is that I and my boss are sitting side by side working on these Bois. I finish like 5 bios and look over to his screen and he hasn't finished the first fucking bio and he is still puzzled on how to fucking format it with a fucking paragraph tag!!! Later on he asks me how I format them I just say with p tags and the occasional br. He looks confused still so I ask if he knows html, he quickly googles fucking html and then replies no!!! SRSLY?!?!!!!? yOU ARE THE HEAD WEBMASTER AND YOU DONT KnOW HTML???? WTF NOT TO MENTION THAT HE GOT ALL THE CREDIT1
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Yeah, I chickened out a little bit when someone had asked me about my project. Yeah, you covered a little bit for me and I'm thankful for that.
But for heaven's sake you broken vinyl disc I don't have to listen to your accusations for a whole day. Your hypocritical behavior put me in that stressful situation in the very first place.
There's a perfectly fine reason why the teacher occasionally tells you to simply shut the fuck up and I guess you already know that.
Nobody. Wants. To. Fucking. Hear. It.
And I sure as hell hope I won't ever have to -
I can't seem to use the novo recovery mode using my standard keyboard...fuck you lenovo and fuck you windows!!!!! Its been days trying to fix this fucking pc!!!...I know i should have bought a freaking dell instead of this m***** fucking cunt of a pc! I have an external keyboard you cunt why don't you suck it up your ports and let me do my shit!!
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Got a full stack job in a really large org. They write shit code and refuse to comment on code saying the code should explain itself.
And I’m like yeah but if you’re writing spaghetti code at least fucking comment why.
The new job’s pay is like 2x my old job so it’s really fucking good pay but my brain is melting from frustrations with these devs.4 -
c# AutoMapper is SOSO good.. On paper...
Once you start using and thre is couple of levels of inheritance involved, it turns to shit.
Searched for fucking 5 hours a problem... Only to find "Oh yeah in this case you need to manually map properties"
Fuck you
JsonConvert.Deserialize(JsonConvert.Serialize(myShit)) it is4 -
yeah, and i encountered mr. blue screen. i'm glad that android studio project saved, automatically. just a little more patience, you will get a job and buy some fucking legendary unit!!!! #RamHurts
1 -
Influxdb 2.0 and the according python client.
This is the stupidest pile of dogshit I have ever encountered. No documentation, no examples, not even for the most basic shit, im fucking done. This is nuts, working like a week on just getting a fucking connection and do some basic curd stuff.
"Id neets to be 16 Bytes long". Yeah, thanks. With Id, org, user, insurance Id?
Next time I gonna implement this bullshit in fucking assembly, so you can have your stupid 16 Bytes without any magic tricks.
FUCK -
First post on StackOverflow... I wanna say thank you for a solution and get a fucking public flogging for it.
Yeah, welcome to our community newbie. Know your place. Fuck you Yunnosch & fuck you StackOverflow
13 -
Fucking "Change Set did not reach desired state". You can be a change set that's not reaching desired state! Yeah, take that SLS!
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Fuck you sophos. Fuck you hard. I moved a server to a new datacenter and it worked like a charm. Thank you windows and hyper-v. BUT! BUUUUUUT my fucking sophos worked like shit. Blocking everything by default? Yeah fuck you. Reconfigured everything. Still blocked and why? Forward “all“ doesnt mean forward all. Had to apply rules from port tcp 1 - 65335 and udp 1-65335. Nice you piece of fuck.2
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