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Chatting on Slack with a junior dev:
[Junior Dev] How do I get that file from the server ?
[Me] ssh into it and then use scp
I see Junior across the room, literally saying "shshh..." at the computer.
Packed my stuff and quit that day.12 -
Happy today! 13th of September. The 256th day of the Year, that equals to 11111111 in Binary. Finally, Happy Programmer’s Day, The people who Dev & Rant 😍🤗🎂
7 -
Being a dev by day and a simracer by night. I made a skin because I wanted to see what devRant would look like on a race car.
14 -
Me and my dev boyfriend went camping the other day in the middle of nowhere in Chile. Before entering the campsite we agreed no dev talk on the hike and then the moment we arrive we get the 0th tent platform. We looked at each other and chuckled our way into the tent 😂
#relationshipGoals
10 -
Dev: "Ah, I finally fixed that code I was working on the other day and got it pushed to staging!"
Almond: "Ah, great! What was the issue in the end?"
Dev: "It was an odd one - it wasn't actually my code that was the issue, there was a bunch of other code getting in the way."
Almond: "How do you mean?"
Dev: "It kept complaining about something called a "unit test" failing - so after a while I found the right unit tests, deleted them, and now it works great!"
Almond: "..."11 -
That moment when you spend an entire afternoon trying to eradicate a problem but give up at the end of the day, and then solve it in 10minutes the next morning.
Damn you dev life !12 -
Manager: How come the intern does way more tickets than you?
Dev: Because you told me to only give him the easy ones since he either can’t do them otherwise or takes too long on the hard ones
Manager: Well how is he going to learn if we only give him easy ones?
Dev: That’s what I told you when you orig—
Manager: Assign him ALL of the hard tickets on your board immediately!
*Tickets closed per day drops significantly*
Manager: WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG ON THESE TICKETS!!!!!
Dev: …19 -
My colleague always tells me how he hates windows and that he uses linux just to look like cool dev, one day I found him using windows and he was like ....
7 -
Manager: Hurry up and login, I don’t have all day
Dev: One sec I have to lookup my password for the system
Manager: How can you not remember your password? Everything requires it these days
Dev: I use a different password for each service.
Manager: Wow you really like to overcomplicate things. Just use the same one for everything like I do, it’s way more efficient!
Dev: …19 -
Manager: How long until the current set of tickets is complete?
Dev: Based on storyboard points it’ll be 1.5 weeks from now
Manager: That’s unacceptable! Let me take a look at the board and see if I can remove some low priority tickets.
*Later that day*
Manager: Oooo I found a bunch of really exciting tickets in the backlog that I forgot about. I’ve added them to the board.
Dev: Did you remove any?
Manager: Huh? Oh right. No, I looked and it all needs to get done.
Dev: With these new tickets added to the board our new estimate is 4 weeks.
Manager: WHAT?!? BUT I SPENT ALL DAY LOOKING FOR EFFICIENCIES!!
Dev: …15 -
Manager: You know you did good this week, take the entire day off tomorrow
Dev: Really?
Manager: Yeah my treat.
Dev: Can you send that to me in an email?
Manager: ….I mean yeah, but I don’t see why that is necessary
*** About halfway through The next day
Manager: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! YOU HAVEN’T COMPLETED A SINGLE TICKET TODAY OR REVIEWED A SINGLE PR OR EVEN SO MUCH AS ATTENDED THE STANDUP. EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
Dev: You said I could take the day off today?
Manager: YEAH BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY TAKE IT OFF!! I WAS GIVING YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW DEDICATION TO THE COMPANY BY COMING IN ANYWAY BUT NO YOU THOUGHT YOU’D JUST TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR GENEROSITY AND HAVE AN ENTIRE DAY TO YOURSELF?! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, THERE ARE URGENT TICKETS ON THE BOARD!
Dev: …16 -
Dev: Ok issue fixed, you just need to log out and back in again on your end to receive the fix
User: It’s still not working
Dev: Did you log out and in again?
User: No why would I want to do that?
Dev: It’ll reset your locally saved login information which is causing the issue
User: I thought you said the issue was fixed?
Dev: On our end yes, we just need you to reset your end in order to receive the fixed version
User: Look I have been dealing with this issue for 6 months. Fixing bugs are your responsibility. I have too much to do, you have to get this fixed. *click*.
Dev: Yeah you submitted the bug ticket yesterday night though
Email from users manager later that day: <User> is saying you are refusing to fix this bug. This is unacceptable. Fix it or else I will escalate this. Also there are other bugs we noticed today too, fixing them is absolutely critical!
Dev: …
Dev: What other bugs did you notice?
*no response for 2 weeks and then:
User: Hey you can close this ticket, the issue seems to have resolved itself.
Dev: ….muppet.17 -
5th June is World "Environment" Day..
Reaction of Software Engineer -
Which one? Dev, Test or Prod?
😂😂2 -
!rant
!!git
Who here uses `master` for development?
My boss (api guy) tried to convince me that was normal practice. I gently told him that it sounded crazy and very very bad.
Here's the dev path I'm enforcing on my repos:
(feature branches) -> dev -> qa* -> master -> production*
*: the build server auto-pulls from these branches, and pushes any passing builds to staging/production.
Everyone works on their own feature branches, and when they're happy with their work, they merge it into `dev`. `dev`, therefore, is for feature integration testing. After everything is working well on `dev`, it gets merged into `qa` for the testers to fawn over and beat with sticks. Anything that passes QA gets merged into `master`, where it sits until we're ready to release it. When that time comes (it's usually right away, but not always), `master` gets merged into `production`.
This way, `master` is always stable and contains the newest code, so it's perfect for forking/etc. Is this standard practice, or should I be doing something different?
Also, api guy encourages something he calls "running a racetrack" -- each dev has their own branch (their initials) and they push to that throughout the day. everyone else pulls from it regularly and pushes to their own branch. When anyone's happy with their code, they push from their (updated) branch to `qa` (I insisted on `dev` instead.)
Supposedly this drastically reduces the number of merge conflicts when pushing to an upstream branch due to having a more recent ancestor node?
I don't quite follow that, but it seems to me that merging/pushing throughout the day would just make them happen sooner? idk.
What are your thoughts?30 -
Took yesterday off to sort out a new passport.
Today on the stand:
Manager: "So we've been trying to get app X running on a dev environment for client X but we couldn't expose it to them"
Me: "Well yeah it's a dev environment if you want to give them one give them access to staging"
Manager: "Oh well we're still going to give them access to dev because they asked for it. It's due for 10am but we couldn't get it to run. You have to get it running since we edited the config files"
*accessing dev environment*
half of config files is missing, random files committed to the repo, SSL certs manually edited, eth0 down and found swan vpn installed.
never taking a day off again.
1 -
Hired a dev with everything he asked for on interview.
Started on Monday.
Take half day leave on Tuesday.
Informed his resignation on Wednesday.
For fuck sake, please don't do that people. For your mother and grandmother and great great grandmother sake. Please just don't.18 -
I'm a Python dev, yet 99% of my work over last 3 weeks has been JS. How do js devs not sit in the corner of a room crying at the end of a day?28
-
*my first day on the job to work on a website used by dozens of companies worldwide and 1000s of users*
me: So where can I find the git repository?
dev: Git?
me: Uh... what kind of source control do you use?
dev: We don't use anything fancy like that.
me: *freaking out a little, I already committed to this job*
me: So then where do you edit your code and how do you back it up?
dev: Oh, I just edit it on FTP and zip all the code every week.21 -
*In teams meeting with client*
Manager: Yes we can do all of that and it will be actioned very quickly. We will make all of these feature requests top priority. We will set aside everything we are currently working on in order to get this done!
Dev: ...Are you writing any of this down?
Manager: I don't need to, I always remember everything!
Dev: Just so you are aware, I'm not writing anything down. You're going to need to create a ticket with requirements spelled out for each one of these promises you're making otherwise they won't get actioned by the team.
Manager: I know that!
Dev: ...
*Later that day*
Ticket Title: Action client feature requests TOP PRIORITY!!!
Ticket Description: *empty*
Dev: ...13 -
Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...8 -
Dev: I'm going to a engineering and robotics seminar this weekend
Manager: Stupid. Waste of time.
Dev: I also got invited to go to a 2 day tech and innovation conference
Manager: Another a stupid waste of time.
Dev: The CEO's son invited me and is paying for it, he said he thought it would be interesting to me.
Manager: ...Well as long as it's not on company time
Dev: It is on company time, I won't have time for tickets
Manager: WHAT!? YOU HAVE TO SAY NO, WE ARE BUSY!! WE CAN'T NOT HAVE YOU FOR 2 DAYS.
Dev: Duely noted you said that and you think the whole idea is stupid. Take it up with him I already RSVP'd yes.
Manager: 😡😡😡😡😡😡7 -
What my parents would have said back in the day if I told them I was a dev: "You listen to that annoying sound for a living?"
2 -
My current one, not Dev related but still...
Walked into my interview with a full head of hair and man bun with a big bushy beard.
Started the day after I shaved off everything for a charity thing, my manager went 3 days without realising who I was and just rolled with me being there .-.4 -
The server for an internal application was acting up, but everything was working fine locally. After an 18 hour day, I just rerouted the traffic to my dev machine and left it on overnight so I could go home.
A piece of me hates myself and also loves myself for that one.2 -
Manager: In order to increase business resiliency we will be doing cross training this week.
Dev: What does that involve?
Manager: Everyone will do everyone else’s job for one day each. After this you will all be considered trained so that if anyone can easily fill in for anyone else.
Dev: …7 -
When I managed to minimize the processing time of the project I'm currently handling. It went down from 30min-1hr to 7min-15mins. The project owner was so happy, said it made his life easier. I was told I did a good job by my manager.
I feel like a real dev then and there. So whenever I'm having a bad day, feeling insecure, I try to remember that day when I was able to do something right. :) -
Today @ 4pm:
New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.
Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?
New dev: ... no
Me: ... why?
New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know
Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?
New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.
Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried13 -
!dev
Me *downloading some weird linux distro to test in VirtualBox - I only do this once a month for like 1 hour*
my brother: Oh my god! Are you downloading something again? Moooom he is downloading something non-stop
every day:
my brother *watching some series/YouTube videos/playing ping-sensitive multiplayer games - all the fucking time, everything he does all day is this + eating and sleeping*
me *retrying multiple times to load anything, including devRant* 😒😠9 -
Boss(Engineer Degree): Did you find any solution?
Dev: Option A is not possible, so i'm analyzing Option B.
Boss:(Sends me the first Google search result of Option B)
My god! I'm in presence of an illuminati! You save my day.
2 -
A day before the deadline.
Project manager decides that we are ready to publish the same app with the iPad version too. Without asking dev team.
+Yep, sure. What could go wrong?
I'll keep you posted.2 -
Today was a good day. The toilet door was stuck for two hours because the lock broke. After the locksmith came and tried his best, we had to kick the door in. Fun fact: a fellow dev was stuck on the inside...10
-
HR: Hey we heard about all of the apps you are building and we were wondering if you could build one for us too
Dev: Well I’d have to run it by my manager first, what kind of app were you looking to build?
HR: Ok basically it’s a button that when you press it it completes the list of daily tasks that normally take us all day everyday like payroll and attendance reporting.
Dev: You…. want me to…automate your entire job away?
HR: No! We would be the ones to push the button😡.
Dev: I….. I’ll…. I will pass that along.4 -
So, I told my new newbies intern; "Please keep remind yourself, not accidently type 'rm -rf /' as root. You don't want to know what going to happen". He nod.
Next day, in the dev server, "Kernal Panic". Human, full of curiosity.6 -
Random dev online: Any chance you could help me figure out how to use something the company you worked for wrote? I need to do XYZ
Me: I didn't write it but sure. Theres a doc here about the full process of doing XYZ <link>
Random dev 5 seconds later: But how do I actually do it? The link doesn't show how to do it via code.
Me: You'll find if you actually read it, that it does. Because I checked. Good day2 -
Manager: Messages not visible! bug ticket!!!!
Dev: oh fuck, there's an issue with our chat system, not good! _inspects ticket_ oh, it's just a display issue that actually is according to the previous spec, yawn...
Dev: please describe the bug better next time, I though we had a major outage, this is simply a small design issue...
Manager: ...
Dev: ...
I think I'm quitting soon guys. I literally do not get paid enough to deal with these incompetent idiots each day.
Meanwhile:
Management: forget your shitty salary, take one for the team, you get 3% of the shares in the company!!!!
Dev: what fucking shares, you haven't even converted to a corporation yet, THERE ARE NO SHARES
Management: ...
Dev: ...
Oh yeah and they called me at 6:30 PM today: "so i guess you are winding down for the day"
fuck outta here i haven't been working since 5 you fucks
jesus i swear some people need to screw their fucking head on straight, so far gone into the hUsTlE CuLtUrE they don't even know what reality is anymore7 -
Everyday single day I have to give time for family, personal work and office. Prioritized in that order.
End result : low quality family time, pending personal projects. Office work - well that one is OK I guess cos the time is dedicated.
Solution : made a deal with wife - one day on weekend dedicated for family (she can plan anything she wants) and I will not do any work. Other day dedicated for my personal work/time (no family plans).
Divide weekdays similarly. On family days I checkout at sharp 4pm from office and come home straight spend the rest of the day with family alone. On the other days I stay either at office or go somewhere to work or hangout with dev buddies.
*Wife agrees*
End result: Quality family time. No interruption when coding (a dev would understand the importance of this). More productive work.6 -
My boss we don't pay you to code (yeah unfortunatly don't have a dev jobs)
My boss two day later : Hey we heard you love dev can you make an app for us2 -
That moment you realise why you enjoy the dev life again.
It's been a long time since I've had a solid day of coding, just coding..., no meetings, no wild requests, no crazy issues, no data fixing because someone can't type a number correctly, just me, myself and that keyboard going on a field trip of quality coding time again.
Ah, it's a good day to end the week on!3 -
Promotions? What are those.
Every title I have gained has been out of necessity of needing someone to work on stack "X".
It usually goes something like:
Dev: I quit
Management: oh shit, we need another dev 🤔oh @C0D4 can do it until we find a replacement.
@C0D4: fuck, I don't know anything about this stack.
Management: we didn't find a replacement, this thing is yours now, here's a pay bump for your efforts.
@C0D4: I swear they'll regret all these projects being managed by a single dev 1 day.7 -
HOLD THE FUCK ON!
Since when has devrant had a swag store?!
Never knew it existed untill like an hour ago, guess I'm loading up on dev ducks on pay day!5 -
I fucking hate people who tell me what i should do when they obviously dont know a fucking inch of anything related to the dev world fucking idiots ruining my day with fucking retarded orders.
I AM THE DEV UR THE FUCKING MANAGER STAY AT UR FUCKING PLACE3 -
When you spend all day debugging and another dev comes over and points out the problem in 30 seconds...4
-
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
Today on "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Burnt Out Dev".
Project Manager: "What day would prefer to demo your work?"
Me: "Tomorrow or Wednesday"
Project Manager: "Tomorrow is Wednesday"
Me: "O"
Project Manager: "O"
Me: 🤝
Project Manager: 🤝
Anyone else having problems remembering which day of the week it is? 😂😂5 -
How was your day at work?
Dev: - I managed to break the whole thing, so s**t! 😭
QA: - I managed to break the whole thing, so productive! 😎
3 -
Dev: Can you please tell me why you changed this?
Me: Because we need to handle permissions in the app. The quickest way of doing it, according to the docs, is [insert change log here]
Dev: But we can just check for the user's token.
Me: That's not exactly a permission, because...
Dev: I was only showing the information related to the user according to their token.
Me: I understand. But that means you're filtering data, not authorising users to access it. If a user is logged in, but changes query parameters, they can still access data they shouldn't be able to.
Dev: Whatevs.
Le me then proceeds to try to push my changes (that took the whole day to implement), gets a "you need to pull first" message from git, doesn't understand why, logs onto GitHub and realises dev has implemented their "permissions".
I was the one responsible for making those changes. Le dev was meant to be doing other things.
How do I even begin to explain?7 -
Client : We need this feature
Team lead : Sure, we will deliver this to you in 3 days.
Meanwhile Teamlead forgets to work on it or assign it to anyone in the team while he was surrounded by many other tasks.
Client on 2nd day morning : What's the progress on that feature?
Teamlead to Client: It's going fine, we will deliver it to you on time.
Meanwhile, Teamlead to a junior developer in the team (on 2nd day afternoon): We have this priority feature where we need to finish it in one day and deliver it tomorrow!
Junior Dev to Teamlead : This is too much of work to complete it in 1 day, it atleast needs 3 days!
Teamlead to Junior dev : I don't care, can't talk, busy, just complete the work and deal with the client, bye.
And the Junior dev continues to struggle where he is unknown of the fact that the task actually was of 3 days but just because the Teamlead forgot to do the task and also to assign the task early, he is in trouble!9 -
Greetings from Greece! Except for one podcast I left all my dev related stuff at home to enjoy the sun😌
Hope y'all are having a great day!
13 -
Just waiting for the day were a head hunter mail starts with: "We saw your profile on devRant and found it very interesting how you comment your daily anger while being a dev....."3
-
Slack Boss: hey, could you check work of dev that is okey, we want this update fast.
Me: hey, just tell him to open PR and assign me, I will check and merge changes.
Slack notification: Dev: Hey, could you please merge Pull request on the project ?
Me thinking, hmm weird, I didn't get email.
Checking github, 0 pull request.
Me: hey, I don't see any pull request open, and when you make pr, just assign me I will merge it right away.
Dev: takes half a day
Dev: Makes pr and assign correctly me.
Dev on slack: HERE is PR open now @me.
I get 3 notification to see this PR, sure at least it is there.
I check this PR, 50 commits, X conflicts, cannot merge this.
Me: Hey, @dev please fix conflicts in your PR.
DEV: takes another 2 days to respond.
Boss in the meantime: hey, have you pushed those new changes ?
Me: I am waiting for conflicts to resolve.
Dev: I fixed the conflicts @me.
I check the PR conflicts are there.
Me: are you sure you pushed your changes @dev ? I don't see them resolved
Dev: takes another day and pushes changes to resolve conflicts.
Me: merges PR to master becaus he based it on master, I will sync the developer branch myself.
All good, everybody happy.
I write to dev: Next time base your changes on develop branch and resolve conflicts before making PR.
Two weeks later new PR From this dev.
Based on Master, conflicts everywhere.8 -
When you get to 12pm (lunch time) and you've already been in 7 back to back meetings and no longer know what you were going to actually attempt to do today.
Listen kids, don't become the senior dev, you'll never work an hour in your day again!
#iJustWantToFuckingCodeToday!6 -
I did an interview with an international company for an "Expert Fullstack Dev." position...
After being praised by the technical team, it turned out that the position was offering a junior salary...
I swear to god...
HR is the cancer of this industry
I lose faith in humanity day by day.6 -
I can assure you there's nothing agile about an all day meeting that definitely doesn't require every dev to be there. Industry is weird.3
-
I spent four hours just getting my dev environment working again today.
Whenever I switch branches on this project, I keep to run a script that does migrations, seed data, test db setup, static test info, etc. etc. etc. It takes 12-15 minutes to run.
Today, that script failed.
Apparently one of its steps requires running some of the project's code to produce valid objects. Makes sense. However, my ticket involves breaking a crapton of models (removing accessors) which I've already done, and then patching the behavior, which I haven't. Which means a lot of things are currently broken. Makes sense why the script fails.
However, I can't run the script on a different branch and then switch back because that simply doesn't work (for reasons), so I needed to find some workaround. I eventually did, but every attempt cost me 12 minutes.
Today was not fun, and certainly not productive.
I wonder when they're going to fire me 😅7 -
New dev: I need help with this issue. I've been debugging it all day.
*2 hours later*
Me: spent a while debugging it, eventually came across a stack overflow post that says you can't do that.
New dev: oh I saw that earlier, didn't think it applied.
Me: ... why ... accepted answer "It is not possible to do this, this way".
New dev: hhhmm, ok
... get the fuck out of this building immediately.3 -
!rant I don't understand how a lot of you guys can work 10-14 hours a day! I see a lot of those messages and it makes me wonder if I am a lazy dev or something. After 8 hours of working I'm just exhausted and wanting to go home to my family :/12
-
So I've been doing some code jobs now and recently they pushed me to a new level.
This company worked with some silly management app made in cpp which they asked me to edit a little bit giving it another style and some additional functions.
Day 1: this code is a mess.
Day 2: this code is a mess.
Day 3: how does this code even compile.
Day 4: I no longer have faith in humanity.
Day 5: I found my first comment (Yay?).
Day 16: I'm done.
Day 19: I got paid.
If you're making a project in cpp just like that dev you do deserve a punch in the throat.
No documentation, no comments, no patterns, just some thick pasta of poorly written code, names like fCalcAllTaxFilesSizeMB....
This haunts me for real.2 -
OK, so I get that we don't have a great reputation for dating but at the same time it's kinda rubbing salt in the wound when a dev company organises a global coding challenge for valentines day.
3 -
Me: can you add x to y?
Dev: sure mate, done tomorrow
Me: kay thx
Next day:
Dev: ok I added x to z! There you go
Me: infinite facepalm4 -
The only dev trend to get excited about is more and more devs keep adding on each day.
Like really, so many of them that the day isn't far that we
Homo Sapiens
become
Homo Dev-iens!3 -
PM, on kickoff meeting: good code speaks for itself, need no documentation
PM, on UAT day: how does this features work, where is the documentation for it?
Dev: Just do me a favor and go fuck yourself.1 -
Has anyone been in a situation where a sr dev, with 12 yrs of experience and paid more than you, can't fix something after trying for a week and now the boss comes to you and expects you (a lowly paid dev with only 5) to fix it in a day, now that it's super urgent?
That describes my day... FML... I have to do overtime tonight...
Feels nice to have some place to rant now though....10 -
dev: Can you add a master branch to the following Git repositories ? They are newly created and we don't see any branch.
me: Whaaattt are you asking ???
This is how the day started.
#quadruplefacepalm1 -
So I work as a "Web Development Lead"
Which means I lead (frontend,backend and infrastructure teams)
Also I am in charge of infrastructure or devops or whatever you call it, which means I handle production issues, dev and staging environments,...etc
and I am a team of one, and today I asked for a day off because it's my wife's birthday
and suddenly everyone is blocked, everything is on fire, and the phone is not stopping ringing, I had to go out of the cinema theater to answer the non-stopping calls
I AM ASKING FOR A SINGLE DAY, A FUCKING DAY, EVEN IF SOMEONE IS BLOCKED SO WHAT IT'S NOT EVEN A DAY I ONLY NEED 6 HOURS
IS TO TOO MUCH FUCKING TO ASK4 -
Greatest dev sin.... oh god there’s been a few over the years.
Hmm 🤔
I guess one of the top 5 would be making an ecommerce platform without unit testing or documentation for the front or backend. 🤫
Mind you it runs smoothly to this day so I was doing something right 😦1 -
!dev (or maybe dev? Idk)
I'm a strong starter but not a strong finisher. I have rarely ever enjoyed putting "final touches" on anything. This is why I would appreciate working with someone who's a strong finisher and is not a credit-thief. But in this day and age for some absurd reason one must be both a strong starter and a strong finisher. One should be a complete person. 🙄8 -
Do you ever just wake up and your first thought is the perfect solution for a problem from the previous day and then you're like wtf brain you're supposed to sleep not to solve problems at night?
This is when I know I do what I was born to do! Dev is love.1 -
We might achieve world peace one day and still won't have agreed over indentation.
Indentation = TAB. Just 1 character (N spaces = N characters = more disk space, duh!). And then each dev can chose their own TAB width (in spaces) in their IDE of choice. Beautiful.
11 -
Manager: We need to fix this QA backlog. I’m going to share the workload of doing QA.
Dev: Please don—
*Dev email notification getting spammed with approvals*
Dev: …Are you even pulling the code down to test it locally?
Manager: There’s no time for that! We have to get this PR backlog pushed through! I’m just looking at the code to see if it looks good and approving based on that.
*Later that day*
Manager: HEY NONE OF THE FEATURES ON STAGING MEET THE REQUIREMENTS AT ALL. THIS IS A BUGGY MESS, WHAT HAPPENED GUYS??
Dev: …6 -
I'm a software developer. Last week I spent half a day teaching a "Senior Data Scientist" how to use git branches. I spent the other half a day teaching him how to use Jira. Now I'm being told that the dev team isn't raising enough Pull Requests. FML
-
For fuck's sake man! I know you are an inexperienced junior dev/student but estimating 3 months at 6 hours /day for slightly modifying some C# code is just ridiculous.
I may have never touched anything .NET before but the modification required just 3 fucking lines and I did it in a day. In three months I would have finished the whole fucking project.
PS: VS2017 (RC) was quite lovely.8 -
On negotiation and signing contract
================================
manager: yes you will work 8 hours a day from Tatta hours to Tat tat ta hours.
dev: okay great, i accept it. So no overtime and everythings right?
manager: that we will consider.
dev: hmm okay
=========================
Start working for about 1 month
=========================
manager: John, you not showing up at the office today? What happened?
dev: Sir, I have to stay up all night finished the last task as required and just sleep around 6am in the morning.
manager: John, i need to tell you. your performance is very great. Our clients are happy.
You deliver all the task. We love you, John.
dev: Yes thank you so much. I am happy too, but i need to sleep now i been over time for the last 3 weeks.
Manager: don't worry john, you will get reward later.
===================================
Weeks later:
dev: i need to request for leave, i am over work and now i am sick, my eye got red and cannot look at the screen.
manager: what is happening this month, you been late to work and you not deliver the task, you are sick and this and that, and depressed and whatever... tata taata,
dev: sir, when i first started you said i could only have to work 8 hours a day, now I work more than 12 hours day. What's change?
================================
life as devs in tough companies, high expectation and shit.
2 -
I once worked at a small dev shop and the previous developer there must have hated the owner of the company.
He hid a script in one of the interal company apps that the owner used every day... the script looped over a method that sent the owner 500 emails that solicited viagra.2 -
RETARD MASTER: So how did you feel about this sprint DEV?
*nothing is planned, new tickets added each day and old ones removed - inconsistent sprint*
DEV: Well, it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s understandable. I’m used to it. Nothing’s to blame here. Client can’t produce their end of the bargain on time.
*3 week later*
DEV MANAGER: So RETARD MASTER gave a feedback. He told me you insulted him.
DEV: Can I please die now? Not funny.12 -
I once had another dev tell me I needed to oil my chair because he couldn't stand hearing it scream for help all day. 😂
-
The most unproductive meeting was definitely a day long meeting about “inclusiveness” with an emphasis on toxic masculinity. It was all the dev teams for a whole day which was ballpark 40-60 devs total. Most of us were like, “We have never even had a woman on our teams to alienate.” Eventually a dev hiring manager allowed the three female devs to leave half way through because they were being repeatedly singled out by the HR lady running the meeting.
The rest of us sat through another half day of the HR lady telling us on how bad we are because we are men.16 -
Although today Friday,
It was a very sad day for me, I just got relieved of my only remote dev job, now to unemployed, I have a wife and home to take care in a semi bankrupt country, I need help.
Do you know where I can get good remote contracts?
18 -
Getting a tour today at my new job (non-dev related, just pays the bills). it's quite a travel AND RIGHT ON THIS FUCKING DAY THE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION PLANNER IS GIVING 500 ERRORS. FUCKING FUCK FML.2
-
Spending half a day wondering why certain DIVs refused to appear in a custom theme I was building, only to find out the reason why was because AdBlock had blocked the IDs being used.
Have kept AdBlock turned off on my primary dev machine ever since.3 -
!dev
Slept 8 hours.
Drinking coffee like every day.
Barely able to keep eyes open, fighting against sleeping.
Weather sensitivity sucks....
Add to the tiredness nausea, dizziness and head aches and the torture is perfect.
🤮11 -
Dev thought of the day🤔
Are stickers for dev the equivalent to tattoos for normies?
Or are devs with hackathon tattoos?1 -
<senior dev turns around..making some small talk about the weather and such.. then>
Senior Dev: “Yea, I’m wanting to take my hard drive out of my desktop and put it in my laptop”
<I know his personal laptop is an older 13.3” dell>
Me: “You have a 2.5” laptop drive in your desktop computer?”
<gives me a very puzzled look>
Senior Dev: “Um…no.”
<second or two of awkward silence>
Me: “Well, a desktop hard drive isn’t going to fit in your laptop.”
<gives me another very puzzled look with a touch of annoyance>
Senior Dev: “It might work.”
<senior dev turns back around>
Why the –bleep- do people talk to me!? Now the rest of the day all I want to do is take his computer away from him…poor thing…that little guy has no idea what his owner wants to do to him .8 -
I knew I wanted to become a dev the day that I found out about the MissingNo glitch in Pokémon Blue Version.3
-
Sorry fellow dev from another company, we really appreciated your help even though it was your free day. There is little chance you are also on devRant, but if you are we cant thank you enough debugging the dll provided by you and even supplying us with a dev version in which you made some changes for us to perform some extra tests. The changes looks promising as far as we have seen for now.
This might save our asses. -
Not sure if this counts as a dev skill but
Not needing sleep anymore.
Imagine how much time you had if you didn't need to waste several hours a day just sleeping4 -
Context:
Me, Front-end Developer, Javascript stuff
---
Junior Dev: Hey xxzer0, could you help me with this? I spent the entire day on it and at this point, I think I just broke Chrome.
xxzer0: *---* Okay, let me see.
Junior Dev: Do you see it? I am updating the Javascript code but it's not working at all. The browser is not even loading it... Literally, the code I just wrote is not there.
**
Now be me, be the fucking idiot I was and I have been my whole life, I already knew what was going on because I lost a fucking day on it as this guy.
**
xxzer0: Well, let me see just one thing...
'Open Chrome Dev Tools' -> 'Network' -> 'Disable Cache'.
xxzer0: Now try again...
Junior Dev: What are you..doi........ IT'S WORKING! O.O
Chrome, I love you but sometimes I wish you could make this more "accessible" to newcomers.5 -
I'm a junior dev in a scrum team with two senior devs: one actual senior and one average dev that's just been around for a long time. At stand up meeting, that average senior lists helping me as one of his task Every Single Day. 9 out of 10 times when I ask him a question we end up asking the senior senior together.2
-
!dev, very !rant
Going to Romania tomorrow and the next day will finally meet my girlfriend's parents (she's from there). More nervous than I expected to be about a (hopefully) simple thing.14 -
“Overhearing powers of the Fullstack dev”
We have an internal control panel (BEEP) to manage our dev Tomcat instances. The other day, with one of my muggle friend, I was trying to restart an instance. There’s a checkbox to clean the host tmp files and directories, ingeniously named as - Purge cache.
Innocent Me (to my muggle friend): bro would Purge cache delete the application log files?
__(Fullstack dev overhearing us)__
Muggle friend: Purge ca... (gets interrupted my the Fullstack dev)
Fullstack dev: so the thing is ... it’s like ... (gotta be consistent with the opening) what “npm purge” does is it deletes the files which are not being used.
Confused Muggle friend: bro it’s a BEEP option to clean the tmp dirs.
Fullstack dev: oh I thought you guys were talking about “npm purge”
Angry muggle friend: then WHY THE FUCK did you answer if you didn’t know [...] the fuck we were talking about.
Calm fullstack dev: FYI. Might help you someday.
Deeply-hurt Me: (what the fuck is “npm purge”). Hey man do you mean “npm prune”? Because they don’t have an npm purge. And what do you mean by “it deletes the files which are not being used”?
Confident Fullstack dev: NO
Me: (cries in npm)
More to come!3 -
I am back to dev rant after longgggggg time....😍
I got a new job and today is my first day...
Hope everything goes well🤞6 -
0: Monitors and Graphic's Cards become affordable for us poor graduates
1: Node bloat becomes a thing of the past with WA or has auto-minimize functionality to keep only essential code
2: North American internet companies all go out of business due to free super high speed infrastructure maintained by a trust of communities and elected delegates
not all "dev" related per se, but my current day to day gripes answered6 -
Damn that's a lot of hours every day. He/she has top 1 on Wakatime leaderboards.
Good job, whoever you are.
(Oh, and guess that a Mac CAN be used as a dev machine 😉)
7 -
My biggest dev regret was that I've followed other people's dream.
I lost precious time into trying being the "good kid" for my family and support them in their time of need.
Now I'm considered old for a starter and getting a dev job becomes harder with each passing day.4 -
The worst thing I have seen a dev do?
- Have all the APIs work without an access token for our main product which handles ~10k requests a day.
- Calling our architecture secure in the crucial investor meeting and being 'confident' that our database can not be compromised. No wonder we did not get funded.3 -
The day after I delivered a secure programming course to our junior devs.
Junior dev: I can't figure out what's happening when I generate this sql.
Me: what do you mean generating ... It should be a prepared statement..
Junior dev: no I'm just generating the strings from the form
Me: ... Let's try this again.... -
First day at work, my PC starts updating, reboots and suddenly, the boot partition is corrupt.
Nice way to start in Dev.3 -
PM : Develop this new feature. Client needs it tomorrow. And be sure it works perfectly well.
Dev : haha how can it work without bug if it's developed in a day ?
Poor dev got transferred to support department :(
4 -
Boss yelled at lead mobile dev for low productivity because the project manager present him wrong timetables and added accidentally one more week of work.
Next day boss yelled at the lead mobile dev cause the back end wasnt working well.
Project manager and lead back end developer enjoy life! Front is hell :P5 -
the real truth is that web dev has been running around in circles on itself for over a decade now
"but every framework is 'new' and 'shiny'!!!!"
nah, just more sugar on the same exact concepts that have been around since day 17 -
!rant
Super awesome day today.
1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.
I really love my life sometimes.5 -
Today was a good day, (day 4 of my junior dev career) I met the only other female Dev in the company , great stuff
And I'm starting to see how well I fit into the company. The only hot drinks options are coffee and green tea- exactly the only hot things I drink 😂(I think they all hacked me and made the work exactly the way I'd like it hm)3 -
Today is Day Two of my Dev Ops Internship.
The only tasks I have been assigned today is GDPR compliance training, which I did not realize could be stretched out into so much repetitive detail.
I also sat in a meeting with a dev who committed his artifact builds to git and now needs us to remove them for him.
Also, I keep getting called Dylan. My name is not Dylan.1 -
If I were cooking like I maintain my dev projects, I'd have a roast in the fridge, a frittata thats only missing the eggs, eight different pots of uncooked soup around the kitchen and the ingredients for a pudding in the cupboard. But I'd be eating pasta with a ready-made soup every day, because its finished.
-
funny coincidence happened at work the other day.
One dev ask to get more ram for his pc so we sent him a link to download more ram... after all the laughs we actually gave hom more ram.
The next day, we had performance issue on our dev servers, and after checking the VM's where missing 4gb of ram each from the original setup... so i poke my dev and say see now we know where the downloaded ram came from XD. man those small things really make my day -
When the previous dev has written all datetime query lookups by date only, resulting in any values for the ladt day of the month to not be included.
THANK YOU.
Same wanker has copied and pasted same 100 lines of code over and over and literally changed one value in between. Obviously never heard of a function.3 -
I'm afraid to go outside today because it is sunny.
I am a dev and have no tan.
I think I'm a day walker...5 -
Since a few days I have my first dev job in a small it company. At my first day I directly stared to implement a rest api for managing dns servers.
Today I completed the prototype and all works well. What a feeling :)5 -
!Rant
Got a job offer as an Android Dev, signed the contract, while signing employer asked me if i am a mac or pc user. A day before my joining date got an email from him asking me to bring my mac with me on my first day. Turns out he won't be providing me with a machine to work on :).5 -
I’m 2 months into my current job at a startup, and I’m starting to lose it. My PM doesn’t have any background in tech, features keep changing every week, and more requirements are added every other day.
To make things worse, I’m the only dev on board right now, despite the company burning ~$80k on a sweatshop to deliver code that’s barely half working.
When I asked if they’re getting another dev onboard, the co-founders said they couldn’t justify another dev since they blew a fat load on that sweatshop…
Time to get on the leetcode grind again 🙃
2 -
Dev gets told in the morning there's an emergency fix needed due to a critical issue with the app that's in production and that the fix needs to be in the release that will be cut this evening.
Dev drops everything he/she is working on, works frantically all day to get it in 2 minutes before the deadline.
Release gets cut.
Next day release gets trashed because some exec did not like the size of the font used in some obscure part of the app even though it's been this way for 6 months...1 -
Best part of being a dev is the fact that we get to use our brains everyday. No day is ever monotonous.
-
That time when you are coding and you recieve your free stickers. This is going to be an even more awesome day!
Thanks a lot team dev rant! Greetings from Argentina.
PS: yes, that's a Mario cup ;)
4 -
The day, today, when i go to a different world. School camp!
Say bye to dev world!
Time for nature.
Wait... I forgot to turn off my laptop!
Nooooooo1 -
86 lines of code...duplicated 3 times in the same file...and only a single integer constant is different. This is the shit that makes my day to day work tedious.
Im glad I dont personally know the previous dev, he would get his throat punched...though calling him a dev is more of a compliment than he deserves.2 -
After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.
That is what dev is all about 😃1 -
When you're working on something all day and then the senior dev swoops in and answers your question in 5 minutes.
-
So in my company there is one other person that has exactly the same first name and last name as me, but that doesn't do dev thing.
Knew that one day I'd receive a mail that was destined to him.1 -
Joing a company was the biggest mistake i ever made!
Wondering what was wrong with my career as a free lance android dev that i decided to accept the project ???
All those beautiful days coding all day long without any stress or deadline now gone!
GONE !!!2 -
Client : you are hired as a developer.
Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.
Client : Ok, here's another dev
(Meanwhile me doing my work...)
ON THE DAY OF DEMO :
Me : Here's the demo.
Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?
Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before
Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!
Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )6 -
One day at the office at whoever built Laravel
Dev: sir, most of devs use php, we can use good old php expressi...
Boss: no, dump all of them, we'll create our own functions that do same job
Dev: ok... So our devs will use mysql, we can use sql quer...
Boss: dump them all too, again, we will make our own functions that dont look anything like that
Dev: we can also use standard...
Boss: NO STANDARDS! Creare every single php method or sql query in another method that does the same job... -
What do my family think I do as a Dev?
The most stereotypical thing you can think of, they think I sit on my ass all day procrastinating.
Obviously they're wrong.... I do some work now and then.... only now and then... -
Hi everyone I'm new there =)
Basically i'm just here for the stickers.
But this look like a really fun place to be as a dev, so i'm maybe going to stay a while ;)
anyway have a great day, you can resolve this bug !5 -
**it's 17:47*"**
Dev: Hi manager I have those 13 tasks on me and I won't finish on time.
Manager: Well all those items needs to be finished on Time, how YOU are going to resolve it?
Dev:😵😵😭😤🥺
Manager: there is additional defect to check please take it on priority ,it a real easy one , I'll do it my self in 5 min but I'm too busy
Dev: ETA?
Manager : by the end of the day.
Dev: Well it's already end of the day.
Manager: Exactly, I knew I can count on you .
Dev:🥺🥺🧐
****Next day *****
Manager: Hey sorry to call you on your cell but I see there were no progress on yesterday issue.
Dev : Sorry Manager I'm sick.
Manager : O.K feel well (🤬)
Dev : thank you so much (😎fk you asshole😎)3 -
ideal sprint fallacy.
total days 10 , total hours(excluding breaks ) 8 hrs per day= 80 hrs per dev
code freeze day = day 8, testing+ fixing days : 8,9,10. release day : day 10
so ideal dev time = 7days/56 hr
meetings= - 1hr per day => 49 hrs per dev
- 1 day for planning i.e d1 . so dev time left . 6 days 42 hrs.
-----------
all good planning. now here comes the messups
1. last release took some time. so planning could not happen on d1. all devs are waiting. . devtime = 5 days 35 hrs.
2. during planning:
mgr: hey devx what's the status on task 1?
d: i integrated mock apis. if server has made the apis, i will test them .
mgr : server says the apis are done. whats your guestimate for the task completion?
d : max 1-2 hrs?
m : cool. i assign you 4 hrs for this. now what about task 2?
d : task told to me is done and working . however sub mgr mentioned that a new screen will be added. so that will take time
m : no we probably won't be taking the screen. what's your giestimate?
d : a few more testing on existing features. maybe 1-2 hrs ?
m: cool
another 4 hrs for u. what about task 3?
d : <same story>
m : cool. another 4 hrs for u. so a total of 12 hrs out of 35 hrs? you must be relaxed this sprint.
d : yeah i guess.
m cool.
-------
timelines.
d1: wasted i previous sprint
d2 : sprint planning
d3 : 3+ hrs of meetings, apis for task 1 weren't available sub manager randomly decided that yes we can add another screen but didn't discussed. updates on all 3 tasks : no change in status
d4 : same story. dev apis starts failing so testing comes to halt.
d5 : apis for task1 available . task 3 got additional improvement points from mgr out of random. some prod issue happens which takes 4+ hrs. update on tasks : some more work done on task 3, task 1 and 2 remains same.
d6 : task1 apis are different from mocks. additionally 2 apis start breaking and its come to know thatgrs did not explain the task properly. finally after another 3+ hrs of discussion , we come to some conclusions and resolutions
d7 : prod issue again comes. 4+ hrs goes into it . task 2 and 3 are discussed for new screen additiona that can easily take 2+ days to be created . we agree tot ake 1 and drop 2nd task's changes i finish task 2 new screens in 6 hrs , hoping that finally everything will be fine.
d8 : prod issue again comes, and changes are requested in task 2 and 3
day 9 build finally goes to tester
day 10 first few bugs come with approval for some tasks
day 11(day 1 of new sprint) final build with fixes is shared. new bugs (unrelated to tasks. basically new features disguised as bugs) are raised . we reject and release the build.
day 2 sprint planning
mgr : hey dev x, u had only 12 hrs of work in your plate. why did the build got delayed?
🥲🫡5 -
*Finished the deploy*
*Dusts collar*
"Easy pesy"
Few hours later
*slack tone*
Production inaccessible! Blackbox crawler failed with message 5xx.
And that was the day little Charlie learnt dev-ops is not fun and thrilling. -
I'm going to attend a free 4-day course about Flutter at my University starting next week, never really got into mobile dev before but since it's free it may be interesting.
What do you think about Flutter, is it worth learning it?2 -
!rant
Free dev eBooks on various stuff, today's is nlp. Different one each day, you can see previous day's books). In case you're interested:
https://packtpub.com/packt/offers/...1 -
Signing the contract with a new agency as their new dev in 3 hrs. Will quit my current Job on Aug. 18. Looking forward to that day. Boss will explode...5
-
Next weeks rant theme should be worst dev day.
Any how today I fucked up at a whole new level. First ran a script thinking I am deleting my local dev environment.
*An Eternity later*
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk
That dreaded script ran on main dev server and fucked up the server used by a team of 15+ teammates. Dead.2 -
Unlocks the phone one day:
"Google Play has stopped working"
I havent used this shit since i installed dev rant (3 months)
10/10 development, google you are the best3 -
Its an exciting day to continue my Web dev w/ Golang on udemy by Todd McLeod after my two days break.
4 -
Wow so many teachers... Looks like lots of people take CS. The only CS teacher I have is myself (and books).
Best Dev experience... So far... Writing Watcher.
First app I wrote using modular design and I use it still every day. -
Worst part of being a dev? Probably that there aren't enough hours in the day for me to do all the things i want/need to do...
-
In follow up to my last rant.....
A friend just informed me that I should enable dhcpcd to get networking in arch...
I was typing dchpd......
why don’t I read things more carefully
I’ve been at this for hours and I just installed ubuntu alongside arch because I need my laptop for tomorrow. Ugh -
I hate dealing with (business) users... They keep asking why...
You're the fucking ppl that told me this is what u want a year or two ago...
Where can I find a job where its mostly dev and not answering why every day?4 -
Today was a bad dev day working on a shitty React project. Not that React in itself is bad, but it can be hell to work with when the code is a big pile a crap full of anti pattern code. I spent the day refactoring to try to fix a bug, but to no avail. It would take days if not weeks to put some order in this mess and to prevent such bugs.6
-
https://youtube.com/watch/...
A day in the life of a paypal dev.
1. Slurp some starbucks
2. Do a lil' Meeting
3. Eat lunch
4. 1on1 Meeting with manager for one hour
5. Scroll over some code and look at the beautiful Momentum ToDo app
6. Bid some employee farewell (seems to happen every day there apparently)
Sounds pretty efficient. When you write no code you cannot create any bugs...3 -
I deleted the Facebook app on my phone (2.5 hours of background use a day?!)
Now I have nothing to close to immediately reopen and feel like an idiot. And don't you dare suggest dev rant, this place barely has enough content to open once a day.15 -
Every time i got fired. So thats 6. At least in the past ten years. Every time i saw colleages get fired. So double that. Every 10nth job interview i went to. Maybe i should say i doubt my dev future every single fucking day.5
-
So I've been maintaining our company's web products for a few years now with a great senior dev, but why would it ever make sense to have a
bool somebool = returnsBool();
if (somebool == true)
...
WTF?!?! I still fine them in the code to this day.6 -
-----------Jr Dev Fucked by Sr Dev RANT------
Huge data set (300X) that looks like this :
( Primary_key, group_id,100more columns) .
Dataset to be split in records of X sized files such that all primary_key(s) of same group_id has to go in same file.
Sde2 with MS from Australia, 12 years of 'experience' generates an 'algo'. 70% Test case FAILED.
I write a bin packing algo with 100% test case pass, raises pull request to MASTER in < 1 day. Same sde2 does not approve, blocking same day release.
|-_-| What the fuck |-_-| Incompetent people getting 2x my salary with <.5x my work2 -
Not a fight I was involved in but one I observed. A junior dev on my team and a server ops guy had major personality conflicts. One day the server ops guy had enough and physically went after the junior dev. I was senior but still pretty new to my own career and had no idea how to handle it. Server guy got fired soon after. I was glad I didn’t have firing power and that he didn’t even report to me anyways.2
-
[tl;dr at the bottom]
(Project Team Group Chat)
dev: @Desing team, i have a question, there's a required field missing in you design, can i go to your desktop to get an quick answer/explanation about that?
design team:....
dev: hello..?
PM: [writes a huge text to tell me that i can not interrupt them even if its a blocker and that we (dev team) shoul write them down and tell them only once a day in the scrum meeting]
dev: uuumm ok
-next day-
dev: so about that field, why did you...
Client: WHAT? There's a problem with the design!? oh boy, lets re-check every view right now with the whole team!
(it took like 2 hours, the field was missing just because they forgot that feature)
PM: okay, @DesingTeam, answer any questions from developers when they ask you...
tl;dr
we spent almost two hours with the client just because desing team didn't want to answer me a little question -
So after a pretty packed day of family time, DIY, play dates and parenting, I managed to squeeze in a couple of hours of game dev... now to get up in 6 hours to go to work.1
-
1st day on the job and I am greeted with EOD, SIT, DEV, UT, POC..
Someone give me an Cheat sheet of this shh...11 -
There's a senior dev at work who deflects and delays every project while working on his own freelance jobs most of the day. Fortunately, my performance is not tied to his.
Hero, or villain?8 -
!dev
It's here! It's finally here! College (Merican) football gameday is finally fucking here.
Time to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day! 😁😁😁😁3 -
!dev
FUUUU*K, I lost my wallet today with a ton of important cards inside.. F**K F**K F**K FML
Note of the day: A wallet is as important as a smartphone is!5 -
Thanks previous-dev, you don't comment much, but when you do, it really saves my day.
// [START configure_firebase]
[FIRApp configure];
// [END configure_firebase]2 -
In all seriousness, the best part of being a dev is that you learn something new every day. That serves me personally as motivation. There are so many fields of study that embody what a dev is, and because of this, there are a LOT of things that you can do and create. On the other hand, the worst part of being a dev is the fact that we can't do it forever.
-
Programming deeply inspired me before it became my day job. Before Facebook conquered the front-end and API code space. Before Electron apps. Before D. Trump became president. Each of those dealt a hit to either my passion for dev or motivation to create software for others10
-
Fuck the Fourth of July.
I was already feeling pretty unpatriotic after all the terrible things the USA has been doing lately, and then to top it all off, they closed down almost every street within a one-mile radius of my apartment just because I happen to live near the place where they're shooting off fireworks. I spent the evening with my girlfriend, enjoying a nice dinner and sort of forgetting it was even really a holiday, then got in my car at 9:00 expecting to be home by 9:30. Nope. I spent over an hour driving in a huge circle around my apartment, searching for even one single road that the police hadn't closed to traffic. Finally managed to get into the area on a back road and get home, but it took so long that I went through all five stages of grief before I got home at 11:00.
They also closed the nearest bridge across the river so I couldn't go shopping for groceries today, either. My pantry is almost completely empty. At least I'm working from home tomorrow so I'll have time to buy food then.8 -
Having to work until past midnight on some shitty site amends because one of our account managers made a promise to client with a deadline attached, but then didn't bother getting any Dev time booked for the task.
I found out about this the day before the deadline when I was about to finish work for the day. I was not amused... -
For me I was so amazed by the fact I could control computers it was pretty much a morning til night thing every day for a month (which happened to be my study leave for exams I didn't want to revise for but hey! I landed a job in dev so
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )1 -
Me and Team Developer,
One day he was calling some apis and getting error
Dev - Hey , the apis seem not to work
Me - Ohk which api, i will Check
Dev - Ohk here is the api and issue
Me - Spent time in checking multiple values for same api, and...
it was working fine with no issue.
Me- SO i asked him to check again
Dev- he again said, still the issue
Me- Ohk give me the same input to try
Dev - Ohk Here is the id of the record
Me - Tested and not working... more tested and got issue like, the id was for some other record, and not actual id he need to call
Me- I told the Dev that he was sending wrong id.
Dev - Ohh Shit, i will check
Me - Yeah, let me know
Dev - Yeah , its working and i wasted 3 days just for this issue.
Me - I said yeah Ohk Fine. (Me Frustrated, as time wasted due to the input issue not mine Api)
Most of the time, this happens and i have to jump to solve. Can Anyone related to this happen with you or your team ?
Comment below7 -
!dev
any career shifters?
have u guys felt every morning not excited going to work? like every single day, you lost your joy and everything in programming and thinking about shifting a career?6 -
First week of doing C# dev. Not quite getting the hang of it yet, I’d still prefer doing nodejs all day2
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Don't you love when you start feeling down because you once again shelve/abandon yet another project because you simply don't know where to start and can't decide how things should be done.
Why can't I seem to get a project off the ground without it looking like total ass!2 -
First day at work and after seeing the codebase and how everyone's talking about the code, I'm pretty sure I don't have imposter syndrome, I'm just that bad...13
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Had my first day as a Software Engineer in one of the most trending software companies. Absolutely crazy how organized a company can be. There are so many talented software engineers I‘m a little bit afraid of the expectations they‘re having. Wish me luck, I‘m just a little software dev who graduated 3 months ago :(4
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My biggest influencer? My Web Dev schools psychologist. Always scheduling breaks in our day.
He continuously reminded us it's a positive thing to walk away from the code and change up the brain patterns. -
This is getting weird. Every day, I finish all pending dev jobs in time and then I get 4-5 hours of spare time.
What to do man!5 -
While we mourn this dark future of the internet, let it not hamper International Developer Day!
Happy Day of the Programmer Devrant!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...3 -
Yay my first day back and I'm 1 hour and 15 minutes late because the main road I take into work was a parking lot. And then I have to go directly into the world's longest meeting. And I have a peer review to do so I guess no dev soon for me today.
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I am a senior dev, so I’m used to deleting 2 recruiter e-mails per day, not really thinking about them.
The last 3 weeks, however, dead silence in my Inbox.
Coronavirus? Recession? Or have I managed to get on a blacklist?
I don’t believe that recruiters learned not to spam.
Do you guys observe the same?5 -
On an average, how many times a day does a dev think about offing themselves while working with azure cloud?1
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On Facebook open day:
Graduate dev lady telling a story about how much responsibility they are given and how she broke the password reset button for hours when her task was to instruct old users with weak passwords to update them...
//my first post, so not sure if it's appropriate, but surely did this come as a shock7 -
ffs our senior dev is on a two week vacation... 4th day and my outlook already looks like fucking mordor5
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How do I get through tough dev days ?
If by tough day we mean a day where I'm really not feeling it or the like, I don't.
I let it pass by me though music or doing something I enjoy doing, or something random but interesting.
If we mean that the task at hand during that day is tough, then there's no escaping it unless you want to risk losing your job, and I can't afford losing my job. So I ask for help, try to do it one little thing at a time. little progress is better than no progress. -
Third day at work, still configuring. This is what happens when you make me use windows. Got my first dev assignment today though, so that's fun.2
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When everything kind of just clicked.
I was struggling with learning how to program for quite some time when I first started, but one day I'm not sure what happened but everything clicked. It all started making sense and I felt like I could do anything with code. It was on that day that I knew I was going to be a dev for life. -
From the day I was born,
Till the day I'll die!!
Every action that I perform,
Is a party if my sin!!
This may not be story of a Dev,
But this is the story of mine!! -
As a junior dev, you are stuck on a Problem and somehow you are not able to proceed and there is a ridiculous process to finish the task on a deadline otherwise you have to hear from higher management. Your manager cum senior dev is not helping you out or not responding in any way. Do I kill myself being so incompetent dev or burn my ears listening to management complaints or is there any way I can get out of it? My life is just miserable and I feel demotivated day by day.
Just ranting my heart out...5 -
Work log..
Day 1
1) Starts a new project.
2) Can't connect windows machine to the new router.
3) Wastes one day connecting.
Day 2
1) Switched to Linux (dual boot).
2) Parrot OS sound issue, don't know why.
3) Fixed the issue, upgraded the system. No brain fucked.
4) Sets up Dev Environment, Starts the project.
5) All this in 4 hrs.
#DumbWndows
Now, I'm staying here. #LoveLinux2 -
NOT DEV RELATED - JUST SPREADING AWARENESS...
For most of us, a PJ Day sounds like a luxury, but for those with lupus, it’s too often a necessity due to their disease. PJ DAY is a way to honor and support the many people with lupus while also raising funds. #knowlupus
2 -
I know local dev is hard in a complex system, but if tooling prevents you from working for an entire day something is seriously wrong.13
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First day of first dev job complete. Already in love with my team. But why didn't anyone tell me about Emmet before now???5
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Hey so Father's Day is coming up, any ideas for gifts? He's like 60 and though a dev, not really a tech type.3
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So, today I got my first day of vacation. Amazingly I didn't get called yet, but I know the other Dev wasn't in today else.
Who wants to place bets I'm going to get called this week. Really bad that I'm already bracing myself :l5 -
!Dev but tech
Just got me whole day ruined.. the hifi guy insulted me like I never.... He thought my neat android was.. *shocking*.. an iPhone 7. 🤮😵
I must carry on knowing that... People might confuse my phone for being.. an.. apple phone 😶 the drama is real2 -
- Eclipse (especially when plugged in with any SCM, excluding Che)
- RichFaces / PrimeFaces (from the pre SPA era)
- WebLogic (how many times do you need to be restarted in a day? )
- SOAP (not a dev technology, but even as a protocol. Thank You Microsoft !!!)
- Struts (what were you doing at the same time as Spring ??? )
- GWT (how did this even find its place inside Google? )
Need more time a deeper retrospective of each dev tech I've come across :( -
!dev
what a nice day to have birthday on the first day of #wk100 :)
... and having a deadline till tomorrow 12am and there's still stuff open. o boi -
Alright I have a question for android/ios app dev, as being a web dev I see one has to do so much for tech stack as there are tons of web languages. And to keep themselves upto date according to the latest tech stack they have to learn new every day.
What about app devs you don't have so many languages like web do so can I say a person spending more time in one lang can learn it way better than web devs who have to look for the latest tech stack and start from the scratch?7 -
Dev planning
- set timeline for feature for 2 weeks
- share timeline with everyone involved
- project manager calls and says it's taking too long
- dev adjusts timeline to 1 week
- project manager call next day asks for a new feature to be included in the 1 week timeline
What the f*** is wrong with these ppl. People don't seem to get the concept of schedules, timelines and organizing work. It's not like there is an abundance of resources (only few devs available ) with limited budget and salaries -
How to make a shitty job, shittier... Having to fight to keep a wifi connection every single day, working on a remote windows system, on a POS laptop running an even more locked down windoze install than the freaking Dev VDI. Good Lord this is devastating...
1 -
Depends on what a tough dev day is. If it was just a tough day usually playing ice hockey helps. If it was a stressful day, board games with my daughter, provided it's not a Wednesday (her Mom's night). If it's a tough problem or bug I'm working on then alcohol, running or lifting, sex, general distractions will do the trick
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!dev
We have an 18-month old at home, and St. Patrick's Day(a big deal in the US) falls on a Saturday this year. Blarg.2 -
!dev
So I work at a monitoring station (yeah not a professional dev yet), so basically our entire day is spent on the phone. Yesterday morning, our phone system broke. Everyone is getting calls from all departments. Even departments they're not in.
As if my job isn't stressful enough as it is, now this fucking thing happens, and whattya know, shit still isn't working today... -
Class normal people:
Def good day:
"Manager was out, had great lunch, got a. special someone's number, successfully avoided traffic, got in special someone's pants"
Def bad day:
"Stubbed toe this morning, rained all day, broke up w. special someone, sat in traffic for 2 hrs"
Class software dev:
Def good day:
"Wrote lots of working code, little to no bugs, checked in no-probs, ahead od schedule for ship, extra time for ping-pong!"
Def bad day:
"Somone fucked up the latest build, coffee machine's broken, ran out of adderall, manager on everyone's @$$ for a fix, 5 hrs later...no fix, no blames, no coffee, board meeting; fml" -
Time management. Maybe it's not really dev related, but I think it's very important. Trying to get better every day.1
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WWDC or 2hours commercial
None life of code like the google io(first day)
“Developers conferences” are comming less dev and more marketing1 -
Every day i wonder if i should just quit the dev life and write childrens books. I am imagining the skillsets should transfer pretty well.
Then i remember i have bills to pay -
I feel strange about saying this but...
Since I'm full-day involved in dev world (2 years and a half), day to day I'm been getting an strange phobia to papper and pencil made documents, I'm don't know why but in University and work I feel uncomfortable making homework in a Notebook, I can spend a day front of mi Macbook and never will complain about it2 -
We can't run linux on our work machines but I need to build a couple of linux scripts.One drive said it backed up my dev VM...so where is the hard drive file. Its been syncing to my new laptop for a day.2
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Hmm... Geekiest non-dev thing I do regularly is watch Mark Rober, Smarter Every Day, and Colin Furze videos. They can definitely be entertaining, but I do love seeing what they work on/research.
Don't really have desire to, for instance, build something with Raspberry Pi. But that's just me. 🤷1 -
So this is the most idiotic thing I have ever done!
Was resolving an issue in a module in our application on "Test" Instance, instead of uploading file to "Test" I was uploading to "Dev" and I was wondering for the last 2 hours why the hell changes are not working!!!
I need a break, Thank god its half day today... its a rest day now 🙈2 -
It's part of me, there's nothing special for me known as Dev days. Everyday is Dev day, for me Dev day basically means my life. If you ask for normal day, where I don't have to do something techy, well, then it's a different story.
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My dear JavaScript Dev friends is this a good day rate for a JS developer?
At £220 a day, I think I'll stick with VBA for now if that's the case.
22 -
I worked as an backend dev the last 2 years and was maintaining and connecting external APIs to our system. If one of these did not work properly or their test system went down I needed half a fucking day closing all JIRA issues named "EXTERNAL system not reachable" . Who needs speaking error messages anyways...
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!dev
Goddamnit first day after vacation my alarm goes off, i turn it off and guess what
Correct i turned my dumb ass the fuck arround again and fell back asleep for another hour.
But it is kinda fine because i could still catch the next train after the one i normally take. -
Starting a new site in work and the Content Team ( no dev or design knowledge) suggest one thing i advise it shouldn’t be done and this is best path... later during day right so we are going with our idea! 😩
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Having an argument about "empty" function in php.
someone told me that we shouldn't use this function because this is deprecated and doesn't work on php 5.3.
He has this opinion because once we took a site live and there few conditions broke. And they were like this " if ( empty($this->input->post())"
While I was trying to tell basically it wasn't empty fault I used it wrong, because the docs says nor its deprecated neither it'll break if we just use variables in it and not functions.
Argument ends up in "not getting any reply" :/ -
Use less dev rant. Yes I know it's ironic to post this here, but I waste way too much time on browsing through posts every day :/
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!dev
Ok, fuck my city. We are fucking freezing here the second day now, no hot water, no heat, it is around 0 degrees outside and THEY FUCKING CAN'T COMMENT ON THE CURRENT SITUATION AND WHAT HAPPEND OR WHEN WE WILL STOP FREEZING? WHAT THE HELL????3 -
!dev !rant
thanks for all of your kind words after i had my teeth extracted ( https://devrant.com/rants/1370525/... )
i'm eating normally now, and i'm learning python faster than ever. i really like sololearn better than codeacademy.2 -
Any top tips for recruiting or things you look for in an ad?
Our company has just advertised 4 roles (one was a junior PHP/JS dev role) and we got 90 applications. Only one was for the dev role, and we decided not to pursue it.
We're keen not to go the recruiter route, they cost a ton and that means less pay for the dev in the end. Plus, you've only got to look at this week's rants to see how they work!
Every day without help feels like an eternity of ever shortening impossible client deadlines for me. 😩😭 (I'm the main dev on a team of 3 including our PM)5 -
Remote into a machine in order to remote into a machine to setup wordpress site on an IIS server using wamp behind nginx. That was my day, as the FE dev who never built the WP site and knows diddly squat all about setting up servers.
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Me: Never check in code on Friday...
Me: Comes to work on Monday...
Me: WTF changed on Friday???
Always check-in at the end of each day on the dev branch! -
I started with logo where you typed commands to run logo. I wrote a script to create shapes. Started web dev in college when a friend taught me bit of php. I felt that it was the best thing ever. I just couldn't stop exploring more and more since that day. I've worked with c/c++ projects too.
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Wednesdays. The day we get every single dev in a meeting room, and get everyone to explain what the fuck they are working on and what sort of issues they are having. Regardless of whether you'll ever see that site or not. Can't think of a bigger fucking waste of time.... ....meetings for the sake of meetings.... PISS OFF!!1
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!dev
Just about done with a 14 hour work day, drinking a koolaid jammer, bout to play some video games. Life is good can I get a Alleluia?
Seriously though, nothing bad to rant about, and I’m kinda going insane.2 -
Doing network security and infrastructure(im a dev but our sysadmin resigned so the next person they thought capable is me)...like seriously yesterday Im fixing c# bugs then the next day I find myself having a meeting with system/security admins...i feel so noob :)1
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Best:
- Getting a decent pay for 13h job, so I can study additionally
- University switched to fully online, such that commodity of 2h+/active university day are gone (guess this is dev related when studying CS)
Worst:
- Admin heavy job, with only minor development tasks and no senior developer to learn from
- Nightmare project still alive and under maintenance1 -
!dev (never been less dev related)
I’m off for a few days from tomorrow on.
Have to travel to get some administrative shit ordered..
But I’ll depart the day after tomorrow.
Now I’m half way drunk asking myself why I didn’t take off from Monday on..
Today (Thursday) is my Friday, because tomorrow is off, which is the day I get hammered but it’s not Friday, it’s fucking Thursday..
Somehow bothers me because the days are shifted.
Sometimes I feel a bit like Sheldon cooper..
You get me or am I just talking nonsense?1 -
I never thought in my life that I would say this sentence one day - but:
Today I switched back to VS Code because it uses less memory than IntelliJ.
Context: Only temporary, very resource hungry dev environment, TypeScript, IntelliJ used >4.5 GB of ram and started lagging.5 -
My process for estimating dev work?
3 hours a day of uninterrupted dev time, 4 days a week (~12 hours a week).
So when I say the project will take 24 hours, it is about two weeks worth of work.2 -
First dev project? In Holland we had a social media site back in the day called CU2. You could put in your own html/css and style your profile the way you wanted.
For professional work it was a landingpage for a healthcare related page. -
“I forgot to tell you” - a backend dev who forgot to tell me about some changes in the prices a day before we submit our site to the client
-
So I recently started a new position as a Node JS dev, and on my first day I've been assigned to the DevOps team... The offer and the interview had me believe I was going to be actually writing code not config and yaml files5
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!dev
My new passion in life is to stack money in prevision to pay an enormous tax, and discovering the day before paying that some gas company took advantage of it to pay themselves about 1/3 of the amount I owe to the taxes. Now I can't pay anymore.
This is a fucking nightmare.3 -
Tomorrows meeting couldn't be more messed up
•boss(we are kind a thing now)and her ex sitting at the same table while she tries not to kill him
•me sitting there with someone else's shitty website with 20 day old code to show as a back end (previous dev was a cunt and deleted all copies from everywhere)
•them expecting a junior dev to build a whole accounting package on the 20day old code
•deadline 3weeks
• crying on the inside 😱😱😱5 -
so yesterday was a fun day. I'm wiring up dbvis toour db life cycle envs. connection to dev, works. move on to Val, connection works. move on to prod, boom, dbvis violates some security protocal that obviously does not exist in dev or Val which locks out the dB acct. I single handedly shutdown production, simply trying to connect with dbvis. smh. what a day!!
-
When talking to the integration guys, installing a new testing environment takes about 3 weeks or more.
When a new dev arrive in the team, we set his dev environment in half a day.
I don't understand such a difference.5 -
Dev goals for 2019:
At least one substantial tech blog post per month (no rain-checks allowed)
Do whatever it takes to have Elixir as the focus of my day job instead of .Net -
Put in 2 weeks of dev, it passes QA, guy that is presenting to customer checks it against the spec and after all of that half an hour before end of work day the day before guy is going to the client to present this he finds an error (I misinterpreted the spec)... Nope, not gonna code the changes all night so it's implemented properly for the presentation.
-
What the fuck, does an EAT even do?!! Other than gaining a salary comparable to a Dev and just sitting in meeting day in day out.
How the fuck can someone work in tech without knowing even the basics of programming12 -
It really depends on what time of the year it is. During the fall and spring semesters, my dev life and social life are about as balanced as they're going to get. From working on things in the CS class to socializing with the people I've met in those classes, this part of the year is pretty balanced in my opinion. During breaks and the summer, however, I don't really have a dev life. I don't have a dev job, so really the only times I do have a dev life is when I willingly decide to work on a side project, or have to update some major stuff on one of my three personal websites. Other than that, the only life I have during those breaks is my social life with the buddies I play PC games with on Discord.
I will say this, though. The day will come when I will be having to balance a dev life and a social life year-round. To be honest, I'm not really looking forward to that day. -
Hi mates 👋
Am going to dedicate myself to dev & open source communities.
I want to build an API that solves something, and I'm looking for your suggestions: what problems in your day-to-day dev life that you would love to have it automated/have it available programmatically?10 -
The worst project i work on is my actual project, this is not a dev project but a "Run the Bank" project !
check 3 times a day that servers are okay, logs are okay, unduserssolvedunderstand and give the "how to fix" to the dev team #pan1 -
So I'm a fresher and recently joined a startup as a software dev trainee. The talk has been ON this whole week of me getting ragged. D-day came today. Pizzas were ordered. And they pleaded to atleast make them feel like I'm being ragged. 😂2
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Today is my last day at <Digital Agency>, I've learned so much over the last 3 years and I'm grateful for all the opportunities that I got here.
From walking in here on my first day as React Dev and today walking away as Lead Dev.
Soon I will start at a Saas Startup!! Super excited about this new opportunity!2 -
Greetings guys, I am just going to my first assesment day and I have no idea what to expect. If anyone has any generic advise i am all ears. Its for a junior java dev. Thanks in advance
-
!dev
The mobile availability here starts to really annoy me. At least once a day it’s just gone for 10min.
Fuck sake..3 -
So what did you all think about Google Clod Next's opening day? I was really surprised, that there were no dev related topics.2
-
Ok so a guy came over to my house and started boasting how much salary his daughter and son-in-law is earning working as managers in some bank. When i told him that i am a software dev who works for almost 9-10 hours a day, he said his daughter just has 4, meetings in a day and thats it. Do you guys think its fair to pay someone so much who just have 3/4 meetings a day?6
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Probably fixing an error, not really knowing because it can't be reproduced in your shitty dev environment, push to production and just enjoy, my day every day...
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I've been tasked with adding QuickBooks online to a cloud solution we have. Being the newest dev here I did what any self respecting dev would do. Spent all day on stack overflow and Google 😂
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Throwing mails here and there, then after a week, youre asking me to resend it to you? Cmon, can you at least check your mail once a day, all of us are busy here. Me finding a previous mail is almost worth a dev module!
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The pomodoro technique and some nice music usually helps me get through dev days. Since I'm pacing myself working on small tasks at a time it doesn't feel like I've spent the entire day coding
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