Client: we need you to give us access to the code ASAP. We don't like this black box approach.

Me: You have always had access to the code. It is here on this bitbucket repo and your usernames have admin access.

Client: We want the code moved to our GitHub before EOD.

I check out how to move repos over and it's fairly easy.

Me: just give me access to create a repo on your GitHub account and you can have the code moved over.

Client: Sorry it's late in the day and we stepped out to get drinks. (It was 2:30 pm). Not sure why you think there is a rush on this, we'll handle it first thing next week.

Me: WTF

NEED HELP

An ant has entered my monitor and running all over the screen from inside. It's super irritating.
How can I get it out?

EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2020)
-------------------------
We've been at this a few years now, and over the last 6 months we've been working closely with a brand consulting agency, and after numerous developer interviews, surveys and focus groups, we've come to realize "devRant" is simply not capturing the cultural zeitgeist of this new decade. Therefore, we have a bold new brand that will be rolling out over the coming week. devDucks is our bold vision for the future, today. devDucks speaks to a new generation of software engineers who resonate with a more upbeat, optimistic tone when they go to an anonymous web community to swear and lament their current work situation. While we finalize the new logo and other key marketing collateral, we have started a staged roll-out of our new brand styling, including the conversion of all avatars to literal devDucks. We hope this brings more joy to your ranting, as it has to ours. Sincerely, David & Tim (@dfox & @trogus) - devDucks co-founders

*eating at the local pizza restaurant*
me to waitress: hey do u guys support Bitcoin?
waitress: Yes we do!
me: great! I'd like to pay.
*waitress passes over the bill*
*i open my wallet and pull out a physical Bitcoin*
*waitress stares really confused at my Bitcoin with the scanner device in her hand*

Interviewing a candidate for a dev position.

Interview is over and handshakes commence.

After the interview we have a debrief in a room that has hand sanitizer in it (just coincidence).

I squirt some and it comes out like a rocket ship; getting all over one of his resumes we printed. It looks like jizz...

One of the head guys walks in a says:

“I hope he didn’t hand you the resume like that.”

To which one of our ops people, let’s call her Sara, says...

“No, leanrob just REALLY likes his resume!!!”

> I almost fucking died from laughter

I was in a park and a lady loudly called out "Anyone who wants an ice cream come over here". I headed over with several others. She handed out ice cream to them all and then ask me "Who are u?". I realised the rest were all her family. 😶
10 years later I still cringe.

This can annoy the hell out of me. When people ask me if they can have your Facebook or whatsapp or something and I'm like 'sorry I don't have that' and they ask why and you explain because privacy reasons and they go like 'oh you're a little paranoid are ya?'.

There's a motherfucking big difference between wanting control over your data as much as possible and being paranoid.

Fucking hell.

I was hired to build a small PHP site. The client was arrested and sentenced to jail time right before the third of four milestones was complete, so I didn't get paid any more after that. Didn't hear from him for over a year, then out of nowhere he wanted to pick up where we left off.

*Looking at code you wrote 6 months ago*

I should just throw it all out and start over

Pair programming seemed awesome, until I started mentoring the guy who doesn't believe in holding farts.

I mean, I know everyone needs some relief now and then, but when I'm leaning over your shoulder to point out a bug in your code?

Fuck you, dude. You're on your own

When someone is watching over my shoulder my codeability sinks with 30%. When coding in just underware my codeability raises with 10%.

Last time someone watched over my shoulder I felt the -30 and tried to raise to -20 by entering underware-mode. Didnt work, somehow they couldnt combine. Turned out to a really awkward situation and codeability instead dropped even more!! Around -70% felt like a project manager!!!

The new version of the (unofficial) client for Windows 10 mobile is now available! 😁

devRant unofficial (previously devFeed) has been updated to v1.0.0.0 and came out of beta! Over 40 changes since v0.9.10.0 beta.

For those who think that no one uses Windows 10 mobile, the latest version has been downloaded 460+ times! 😉

It's finished.

After switching between Fedora, Ubuntu, Debian, Manjaro, Antergos and a dozen WM's I've settled for Arch on the desktop.

Took me over a week of trial and error, but it's worth the pain for the level of control you get.

Switching to Linux reminded me much of trying to find out if I liked text editors or IDE's more when I first started programming. I changed tools every day before I settled.

Screenshots of course. Now to actually get back to my JDBC projects before I start obsessing over how to get all my apps on the terminal. :D

So yesterday, literally just hours after i basically said on somebody elses rant "friends are overrated," i ran into a friend i havent seen in over a year and we ended up chatting for an hour after she gave me a ride home. I was in such a good mood after and I realized its the first socializing ive done outside of talking to work people or my partner in over a month. I like to spend most of my time alone, and since i discovered coding i try to spend every spare second writing code, but it turns out a social life is actually really important 😯😯

I am the new girl. While I’ve been at this company for two years, I’ve only been in my new position a little over a month. I haven’t quite figured out if I am sysadmin or devops yet. It’s a bit all over the place. I am building a new thing at work. I build different types servers and set them on fire frequently as a hobby. This one is a stack I haven’t built before. It wasn’t working. I eventually got to the point where I told the other guy maybe I should consider resigning, I’m not qualified for this job. He said... Finally... now you’re going to figure it out and fix it. The next day, I did find what I kept overlooking and made it work. I guess this is life now.

It has to be the community. Just look at devRant - an open community where - unlike on the rest of the internet - people are friendly and warm. Then there's the concept of open source and GitHub, where people post large and complex projects for free and even the smallest of developers can create issues and pull requests (shouldn't they be called push requests though?) - no other profession will help others out in over 15 million different ways.

Dude, for the hundredth time, stop leaving random chunks of commented out code all over the place in case we "need to find it easily later"...

This is literally the reason we use git.

No, I will not pass it in a code review. The same as last time. And the time before...

Dahhhhh

Boss and project manager calls me into a launch meeting for a new project. A stock management system for a small furniture company that will work over 11 stores, 4 warehouses and multiple suppliers which will also work as an ordering system. We went over the spec(112 pages) and I told him that it will be an on going project over a year with an initial dev time of 4-6 months. He just said that he's sold it to them to be delivered for testing in 2 weeks and completed in 4 weeks(they signed the contract) and that I'd best get started. I just closed my laptop and walked out.

Bloody idiot online retailer sent me a used SSD.

I found out with a SMART scan; I was so pissed I wanted to drive over to the store and punch the owner's lights out!

So I did a rookie mistake this week. Connected a webapp for a client using Nginx and installed the SSL cert for the site. I decided to activate the firewall of the server because hey security. All was well. Went home feeling like I am the shit.

Next day I find out I can't log in to the server over ssh. Only to find out that I had forgotten to allow SSH through the firewall.

I had basically locked myself out of the server. 😞

Big "company summit" this week where everyone flies in and we discuss the future of the company (sadly not over drinks). I might be getting promoted with stock and pay increase, and allowed to hire another dev.

Yet, here I am, updating and sending out my resume, and hoping for something, anything.

A 30% raise wouldn't be enough to deal with all of this madness.

Welp, time to ditch devRant

I don't mind green dots posting the same things over and over (and let's be honest, everyone had some of those complaints when we started coding), but what's been happening lately with spam and bots is just too much.

Thanks for the ride @dfox, it's been good while it lasted. Too bad I never got a dev duck tho, they were always out of stock :(

Had to do an assignment in Haskell and had some bugs all over the way. After some Wodka I did a one liner that worked but I never found out why. 10/10 would do again

The year is 2218. Machines have taken over the world. A small pocket of resistance fights back against them. And in their darkest hour, Windows, which hasn’t been updated in over a century, still won’t tell their strategists what program is keeping the USB drive with their plans open. They don’t want to unplug the drive as that could damage the files.

While they’re trying to figure it out, the attack comes and catches them all unaware.

As a result, humanity is extinguished.

Don’t let this happen to you.

The fuck did you think was going to happen?

User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.

PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?

Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.

I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.

PM: Well that's not what x said.

Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)

PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits.

Thanks for sending them all the way over here! (I edited out my address) Amazing community and amazing devs. I'll enjoy them!

Most unprofessional experience at work?

<about an hour ago> Went into the bathroom to do the morning deuce and there was crap all over the back of the seat. WTF!? Did you miss!? In our part of the building its only devs and network admins, so again, dudes, WTF!?

Oh, and never spit your gum out in the urinal. Its not a new, fun target for you to shoot at. *Somebody* is going to have to pick that nasty thing out. Our maintenance guys have hard enough job than cleaning up after 'so called' professionals.

I hate it how our profession became common over the last decade. We're nothing more than factory workers of todays day and age. Just take a look at petty midldle management above you all... and all underpayed and overworked devs out there... Nah, this ain't that glamorous proffesion I dreamed about as a kid.

My bf learning a programming language I already know. Him frustrated with it not working. Me in the same room watching anime. His mom calls. I go over and see if I can figure out what's not working while he's in the phone. He was trying to run from command line and wasn't in the right folder 😆

Atom is free.
Visual Studio Code is free.
Jetbrains IntelliJ IDEA Ultimate is $500 per year.

Atom has Teletype.
Visual Studio / Code has LiveShare.
Jetbrains IntelliJ has "Can you send me over the file and I'll try to figure out the issue without any sort of context?"

Got to a client, we are taking over their software dev and IT.

"you're not touching my code ". Listen fuck twit, a robocopy script is not fucking code.
"I wrote a 3500 line code for this company" no fuck twit, you wrote a whole lot of fucking gibberish that looks like someone shat out BASH and it met html along the way. It doesn't compile, it doesn't run, it's a fucking dormant file. You charged people for shit all.

Setting up exchange is also not a big whoop.

Moving them over to CentOS server (he had them on XP still), and writing enough code to qualm my frustration at people.

I'm from the UK. My CS teacher took a dislike to me in junior high school, dissuading me from taking the classes I needed to take computer science at college. I ended up starting an economics major and then dropping out.

With the support of my family and friends I started over as a self taught as a developer.

I'm now a Tech Director in New York and love my job.

Darn it, I was having such a good day. Just sitting over here in sysadmin land watching the Java devs tear their hair out over the Log4j vulnerability, when someone just had to ask me about the Jenkins servers my team maintains.

Jenkins doesn't use Log4j! What a relief!

Jenkins does, however, have third-party plugins, some of which use Log4j. And thus my relief was short-lived and now I'm also tearing out my hair trying to patch this shit.

Coworker: Hey, you made some changes over here in module X?

Me: Yeah. The old way was deprecated and we need to switch all of our modules over to the new way.

Coworker: Okay. I'm working in module Y now. When are you going to get to it and make those changes?

Me: ... I sent out an email and a message in group chat saying we all need to make these changes as we find them.

Coworker: Uh-huh. So when are you going to update this? It's blocking me.

When you spend all day debugging and another dev comes over and points out the problem in 30 seconds...

Okay, fuck me if everyone knows this but me, but CSS3 transitions supports letter-spacing.

So I was just fucking around and experimenting and I found that I could make a button whose text spreads out elegantly when you hover over it.

Fuck, that's cool.

So we were out celebrating the 18th Birthday of a friend and the conversation drifted to mobile phones and some people were seriously asking why someone who can afford it doesn't choose an iPhone and why her brother chose the Google Pixel over the iPhone because apparently iPhones seem to be the best phones for these IT people

A colleague named Sam was really pissed off today at an out sourcing firm from India.

My Boss outsourced an application to India based firm. Sam was the one handling the project after the handover. Sam coded a feature 2 weeks ago and moved to staging server for approval. After the sign off from the lead developer of the outsourcing firm, he moved the feature to production. For the past 2 days the application was crashing over and over again so Sam went to check and found out that the feature he coded was causing the issue. When he pulled the feature to his computer and had a look at the code, it wasn’t his code. The code he wrote was commented out and the lead developer of the outsourcing firm wrote new code.

When Sam emailed to him regarding this he replied that he re-wrote his code to fix issues with the feature. Sam and outsourcing firm lead developer had heated argument about this. It’s turns out that the outsourcing developer re-wrote the code without anyone’s approval and on production server.

The lead developer of the outsourcing firm was fired.

All my friends have girlfriends right now, spending good times and having fun over the weekend.

And here I am trying to figure out how to integrate Jquery UI with React :(

Its been 1 month and still no reply from my university IT department after i inforned them the login was transmitting usernames and passwords unencrypted over http and that the password field was case-insensitive for some fucking reason.

Might have to break out the sniffer and setup a script to automatically email them different students account details until they fix it, i should cc the dean 😂

when recruiters would use the same tactics when dating:

Recruiter:
Hi, I see that you are currently in a relationship and even married for over a year now. And you are perfect relation material for a friend of mine. I'm reaching out because you would be a perfect fit. Can you give me your phone number so that we could meet?

All crypt!
Blamed my brother giving me computer blue waffles over the just plugged drive and it'd be crypting all files.

Turned out I lose SATA of my primary drive.
Cussing 1/2h for a sincere excuse.

Thx 4 being the brother you are, brother.

I cannot wait to leave my job. I love my bosses, but the customer service people are the fucking worst!

Since I'm the only developer day in and day out I hear the same problems of people forgetting how to do so something over and over and over. Then they yell at me because they say I don't train them enough.

I WASTE 8 HOURS A WEEK RETRAINING YOU SHIT HEADS BUT NONE OF YOU TAKE NOTES IN THE MEETINGS!!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT IF YOU THINK YOU PEA SIZED BRIAN WILL REMEMBER ANYTHING!

AND ITS NOT LIKE THE SYSTEM IS HARD! THERE ARE TOOLTIPS AND CUSTOM ERROR MESSAGES THAT YOU JUST CHOOSE NOT TO READ!

I am just so burned out of answer the same damn questions day in and day out

The office decided to buy us all ice-cream. I got mine out the fridge put it on my desk and before I sat down was asked to join a meeting, after that on the way to my desk got called over to help someone. Eventually got back to find my ice-cream had melted over my entire desk :(

Self induced devRant rage.

The Setting:

I like to pull the "recent" feed up and put it on a third of one of my monitors staying out of the way, but letting me glance over to see new posts or new notifications without depending on the iOS app.

So I put this page on a 5 minute cron reload, so the feed and notifs will update.

Then I get a notification and go to the rant and wrote out like a long ass comment to somebody.

And as some of you have already guessed, just as I was about to post this long ass comment the five minute cron timer ran out and my fucking browser page reloaded.

TL;DR ~ I have played myself.

So I'm a backend engineer and my boss keeps telling me I over engineer stuff. I'm never given a technical spec or architectural spec, just told what to do so I build. But apparently I over engineer? Admittedly I do tend to but recently I cba and done the most basic thing. Apparently its over engineered.
Would you agree that to say something is over engineered a technical requirements document is required in order to specify over engineered said request needs to be?

Ps: my boss is an inappropriate cunt. Finally got that out.
Feel like hes just making arguments with me to get rid of me because I didnt want to cuddle in bed with him after he gave me an uncalled for back rub..

New password cannot be one of your four previous passwords.
Password must conatin upper and lower case characters, at least two numbers and two special characters
Password cannot contain five or more consecutive letters of username.
Password cannot include any _illegal patterns_.

Locked out of your system? Drive over to HQ and ask the admins to reset your password in person.

!!inspiration to rant

To all people who feel lonely at smoochentinesday: 😘
Get your most EPIC, FUCKED UP or IMPRESSIVE dev-related story out and rant it on here!

The comments will help you to get over it, you poor, lonely, grievy flower. 😉

Happy valentines-slay!

My relative once called me and asked if she could come over to my house so that I can copy Facebook over to his flash drive. Turns out that she accidentally deleted the bookmark to facebook.com and thought that she'd lost it forever.

This is want happens to you when all of your relatives found out that you are "good with tech".

Classroom fuckery: I'm in a Computer Information Technology program and I usually spend the last hour of class working on code. Most of the people in this program are going into networking or security. This kid looks over and freaks out, starts yelling that I'm breaking into the school's network. I was on freecodecamp.com.

I worked with a sales guy once who would randomly come into my office and look out the window. Our entire office was Windows. There was a rumor that he was checking to see if his car was repossessed yet. As he had been caught selling knives over the phone in his lunch break half a dozen times.

When he came into my office he did not say a word or make eye contact. Just walk in. Look out the window. And walk out. Man that guy was weird.

I work in big data and security analytics... So naturally I am a very detail oriented and analytical person.... Something that I constantly get told off about for 'over analysing' every personal situation.... Especially by my wife!

Today she was chatting to our best friend on WhatsApp who's been travelling Europe for 6 months seeing how life is etc... At the end of the conversation I point out he never once told her where he was and avoided the questions.... And that I was sure he was gonna turn up tonight....

She tells me I'm over analysing and full of it as she's in Spain.... Not even an hour later he walked through our front door and we are in the pub having an awesome catch up!

Who said I'm over analytical! More like right!?

Let’s see I suppose the most pissed off I’ve been at work would be....

Being blamed for a clients mistake when their newsletter email settings where being changed over to a new mailing system but during the change over they wanted to still send out mail using the old list. So a single endpoint was kept in place so they could send one last newsletter out after it was approved as part of the migration and they were to inform us when they were done so we could change that endpoint over.

Several months later when everyone had long forgotten about it, the client tried to send another mass mail out using the old endpoint and complained when no emails had been sent.

I was blamed for making this mistake even though management approved the fucking old endpoint to be left in place at the clients request against my concerns that someone’s going to forgot about this and I was never informed to swap it over.

I quit on the spot and walked out the door after that.

I can't even deal with this. We just deployed a new update to our system, and everything was going smoothly. And then, out of nowhere, we started getting a bunch of error messages and user complaints.

Why do these things always happen? We spent hours trying to figure out the source of the problem, and it turns out it was because we didn't do enough testing before the deployment. Are you kidding me?

I know that testing can be time-consuming, but seriously, this is ridiculous. It's frustrating when something like this happens, especially when we're under a tight deadline. And to make matters worse, we had to roll back the deployment and start all over again. I just want to throw my computer out the window.

Uuuugghhh!

The ascii DEL character 0x7F or b1111111 historically had a special relationship with punch tape programming, if the programmer made a mistake punching out a character then they could simply punch out all the holes and the computer would skip that character, effectively deleting it, and saving the programmer from starting over.

Tru story:

We have a folder that we keep as shared documentation known as Javascript And PHP Fuckery made by yours truly in which I added a bunch of fixes to fuckery written in those 2 languages by previous developers.

The entire department has access to those files(as in all of IT) and I have been commended by the head of our department for my determination and uncanny ability to spot fuckery and fix it.

He says that he "thoroughly enjoys my colorful mastery of language, sarcasm and cognitive imagery when dealing with documentation regarding the code horrors done by previous developers"

By cognitive imagery he said that he meant my thought process and that he wouldn't trust a developer that does not use this language.

Fucking killing it b.

I'll let y'all(as in youse) when I am done with my Book(if anyone here steals the idea of the title as js php fuckery i am gonna sue you)

Ok. so my ISPs port 53 was DDoSed and I couldnt resolve hostnames anymore.

The only app that worked was Telegram because it (thankfully) calls an ip and doesnt use a DN.

The friends at @codrTalk were so kind to resolve like 20 sites for me by hand in order for me too 1) find out what happened 2) find hotfixes 3) download tor

Now, that I downloaded tor, im doing this over tor.

PWEASE @devrantron team and @devRant team

Could you please make it, that devRant get called over ip as opposed to by DN in your apps?

Anyway, thanks to those in codrTalk.

TFW you’ve been trying to debug an issue for over an hour and you find out you typed:

variable1 == variable2

Instead of

variable1 = variable2

AARRGGHHHHJJHHHHHRIFNRIDKEJXJDJ!!!!!!!

Navbar is cool now, better than the older one. But can you please move this circle for creating a new rant to the right? Actually it's all over everything and really disturbs. And possibly also fade it Out when you scroll.

Everyone I start feeling like a badass programmer and I can take over the world, there's another programmer that comes out of the woodwork and make me feel like a noob. Why do I even try. Fuck your way of doing things.

That's it, it's over, I'm done! I'm officially a graduate! I have my paper and I'm out!

Goodbye preditory USA college related companies and practices I won't miss you!

I swear If I ever have to hear the name Pearson again.....

So I pulled an OLD ibm out of a trailer, that is literally falling down, today. Anyway, this cpu had been rained on and been in extremes of heat, and cold, so much so that there was moss growing on it.

I pulled it out and plugged it in, with the original plug *that was rusted in*, and.. it worked. The screen and everything worked perfectly! The floppy disk that hadn't been used in over 14 years and was stuck inside the reader, worked...

Mind blown!

As the old saying goes, they don't make 'em like they used to.

Replace a semicolon (;) with a greek question mark (;) in your friend's JavaScript and watch them pull their hair out over the syntax error. #maxTroll

over 5 years in "industry" and i still don't feel like i have a fucking clue what im doing

intermediate, senior, etc seem out of reach

So I was hanging out with a pharmacy student, and they had a box full of over the counter medicine. The box had something for almost anything common; cold, allergies, and so on.

So my question is, do you guys have something like this but with technology? Like a box full of random computer stuff (cables, parts, USB drives, and so on)?

I *hate* when the boss asks me to add people to our mailing list who didn't opt in. I just sent out a campaign and, predictably, a ton of people flagged it as spam or unsubscribed. Only three sales out of over 10,000 sends. But in his mind, that's ok. Ugh.

Coming up to (very) tight deadline..

Manager - "Stick in a temporary fix, if the data is mocked out it will do for the demo. We really want to show this feature."
Me - "Okay, I"ll pick up the technical debt after the demo."

*Changes are coded and rolled out*

Manager calls me over to his desk..

Manager - "This feature isn't bringing back real data."

Do these kind of people exist in all companies?

Amazing API's and SEX!

Alright people, now that I've got your attention, I'm getting to the point where I need to plan and roll out a solid API for a project. So after reading a lot of the horror stories written here, What are the finer points of what makes an amazing API experience to use and integrate with over a poor one?
And don't say documentation (If you do explain why) 😁

Dad showed me how to build a computer when I was three. Then he spent the next ten years explaining how variables work over and over.

Then I freaked out about being poor forever, applied to one of the cheapest 4-year colleges in state, and am doing my best to do that whole Computer Science thing.

So I just decided I'd hotspot my phone to my laptop (as I have no WiFi) and stream a film I've wanted to watch for a while.

Turns out my shite ass mobile provider wants credit card details to prove I'm over 18.

I'm sorry, what?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU NOSY OVER CONTROLLING SHIT STAINS! THAT IS A PARENT'S JOB, NOT YOURS.

fucking hell. What is wrong with this fucking race?

Oh, and I can't torrent it because that's blocked too.

Okay. For fuck sakes, writing complex code that's meant to handle "everything" and is "super generic" can be a fuck up. Like just keep shit simple. THAT is the show of great and impressive work. Over engineering is not it. Yes your shit works and yes your shit is fancy but was it needed? How long did it even take you for this over kill? How long will it take the next person to understand or not.
Someone now has to sit and run through your shit to get what you were doing. Instead of just being able to look and once and have it all figured out.
Keep things simple.
Lost 2 hours on bullshit 🤬

!rant

Chilled out with one of my non-programmer friends over the weekend. We were talking about various projects I had worked on, and he became interested. He started learning js that night, and I was proud.

Cut to today, he sends me a message complaining about some of the weird syntaxes in python. Super proud moment.

I see a lot of arguments out there over 2 space, 4 space and tab indents but I think the really problem are the people that double tab. Yes they exist and yes they are the real scum of the earth

Someone just overwrote 2 weeks of work in SVN because they don't understand merging.

When they did an update before committing they ignored the conflicts and tried to build their work.

But wait it won't build if their are conflicts, I know I'll just copy this backup over the checkout and check that in instead.

It took me over an hour tho fix this fucktard's mistake and I still don't think they understand what they did wrong. Their supposed to have 40+ years of experience.

In the end it turned out they wanted to change about 10 lines. They had checked in files that they didn't even change, they were just out of date compared to trunk.

Curious, does anyone else that’s been in the tech/IT field for more than 5 years feel like we’re just solving the same problem over and over again, albeit with different tools as the years go by? Or am I just too grumpy to stay in this field after trudging it out for 20+ years?

my gf visited over the weekend. when she went out to get groceries I kept myself busy looking for a error on a project.
she came back and was like: did you fail to end a sentence with a period.
that solved the problem

Spent almost four days trying to reverse engineer a feature the previous developers failed to document but a sales lead from before the take over was counting on.

Turns out it was never made and the whole exercise was a waste of time.

Our company wants us to fill out monthly surveys to tell managers how happy we our at work and to give them feedback. The survey will not be anonymous as they asked us to self identify.

Also the company is small (just over 100 people) and over 1/3rd of staff have been fired over the past year.

Yeahhhhh, how about no

Pushed out a ridiculously complicated customization to our software with no errors, no user complaints and no needed modifications. Finally my 4 month long project is over.

Finding out you've done a project wrong because you completely misinterpreted the direction you got at the start and your brain took it in a totally different direction and having to start over again with it is lots of fun. I recommend it to everyone.

Does anybody out there actually really love their job? Because I do. I'm not sure if it's just me or that my job is actually great, but my coworkers are respectful, my boss lets me have control over each project's pace, I get to write tests and invest in refactoring, and I make good money doing it.

Is this just me?

Oh for crying out loud. Master/Slave has been the defacto way to describe dependent interactions between electronics since the birth of the silicon chip. Even IDE used to implement it as a standard for running multiple devices over a single cable. Just because a handful of fresh faced 18 year old kids think the world owes them a soap box and a rock to hang themselves over, it does not mean the world has to bend to this oversaturated retribution complex that seems to be affecting every college student lately. Grow the fuck up.

anyone else make grand prediction in the past which turned out to be bit off like:

"Silverlight is the future its going to replace html/javascript" :))

"Windows Phone 7 is going to take over from Android and Apple"

Oh, the requirements completely changed? That's cool. I'll just place all my work over here in this pile with the Sega Saturn, zune, and the batman vs superman movie... you know the "it could have been glorious, but it turned out to be complete garbage" pile

When people keep asking the same kind of questions over and over and you realize it's your fault for always helping them out so they don't learn how to debug on their own.

It's hard to do nothing but in a learning environment it's often the best.

Set up a 2GB upload to run and a 6GB folder to compress while I went to do an errand. Came back to find computer had rebooted itself while I was out. No reason for it in event logs. Just a random reboot for giggles, I guess. File upload aborted with no resume and I’m unsure if the full folder compressed. Have to start over.

!dev

Been away from here for over a year.

Tried meditation, tried working out, tried eating more #00FF00s.

I'm a super calm person and rarely rant over shit in real life but I learned that really little things can replace ranting over random shit on the internet and having people come here to read just exactly that and relate.

I think I'm back :) <3

🤯
I am beyond burnt out. I still need to finish some stuff over the freaking holidays. Sucks to be me, literally, figuratively, and really.

*Sobs in TTS robotic voice*

Sales sold to a new enterprise client ecommerce solution tailored for small/local businesses as enterprise solution.
That software is able to handle hundreds of products, but we are trying to insert over 200k+ of them.
After inserting around 10k, the whole system dies and nothing works because all requests time out.

Friend getting 'index out of range' error so I wonder over and have a look 🤔

Array_variable[-1]

🙈🙉😩

No words were needed!

A few years ago my boss held a brainstorming meeting to go over features for an internal reporting app. I brought up we should have related business news stories scroll on the page header like Fox business or something. He laughed and said sure. Two things happened after that.

1. Found out the marquee tag still works in chrome.
2. Yeah you bet I put that shit in there.

Anyways a meeting was held a few days after where my boss chewed me out for actually doing it. He showed the app to his boss and got laughed at by his leadership team when they saw news headlines scroll over analytics graphs.

After writing this I realize this is more his embarrassment than mine. Have a great Tuesday fam.

I currently work with a guy that constantly blurts out, "It's awful quiet over there."

This is intended for me to reply to when I'm in the middle of troubleshooting some code. I put both headphones over my ears, crank up some metal, and continue being quiet. I don't reward stupid behavior with a response.

This gutted feeling when you got so overly excited over an idea that you poured blood, sweat, and tears into it only to figure out what the others were doing isn't actually bad. Their's doesn't have issues. There's nothing for me to do. My whole idea, scrapped

I feel tired 😔

For some reason the backend kept throwing errors when I tried to save a long string containing markdown. Initially I assumed I must be escaping things incorrectly but that all looked fine. Asked the backend guy to take a look.

Turned out that in order to count the number of words they were using a regex, which seems fine, unless you construct the regex out of my string and run that over the word count regex... 🤔

I just spent weeks working on a device driver on linux for a project I'm working on for uni, and for whatever reason, I only thought to cat the device I'm trying to read now. It turns out the output is already exactly what I want and I just wasted a monumental amount of time for nothing. I'm about to start screaming over how stupid I am

So here I am going over the list of papers I need to read before I start working on my PhD project, and some of the papers are seriously MEH. I take a look at one of the video submissions, and of course to prove their fairly weak point, they rendered women jumping with their cleavage out and with skirts short enough to see their underwear.
I just started and I already feel like I want to puke all over these intellectuals, like that kid in the Korn video.

Every recruiter voicemail.

Hi (name)

Your resume recently came across my desk and I wanted to reach out and let you know about a couple positions I'm working on. I've looked over your resume and you look like you'd be a great fit.

Every time I forget a semicolon, my IDE just shows a red squiggly line over the whole line, so I spend a long time analyzing the whole line taking to figure out what I did wrong, then and only then do I realize that I forget the semicolon.

I hate office politics so fucking much. Now that most people aren’t face to face and everything is over chat and voice calls, people seem to get very weird about things that might be said and blow things out of context. If you have anxiety disorder or something fuck off!! You’re stressing the shit out of me and it’s already Christmas so I’m already stressed the fuck out!

Had a really slow Android programmer at my last job.
It took him over two weeks to add a slider to a screen, the boss comes over and asks why he isn't finished. The coder responded: I'm sorry! I'm bad at using the keyboard!

He got fired a while after and later we found out that he had only been copy+pasting code from websites.

There is a colleague of mine who is loud, arrogant and thinks he knows it all. Except when I worked closely with him turned out he doesn't know shit. And he has been in the industry for over a decade! Why the fuck was he hired, I don't know..

The most annoying hack I've had to deal with was back when I did IT support, actually. Level 1 call center tech at the time. Apparently someone fell for a phishing email and gave out his outlook credentials. The phisher used that email account to send out another phishing email to roughly 1800 employees.

Security Operations noticed, because this guy's job didn't generally involve sending out mass-communication emails. They investigated, figured out what had happened, and opted for the nuclear option: they reset the password for EVERY SINGLE ACCOUNT that received the email. All 1800 of them. Over the weekend.

I walked into the call center Monday morning and checked the call stats, then did a double-take. There were over 300 people waiting in the queue. I almost left and called in sick. Turns out it wasn't that bad though. Annoying to reset so many passwords and having no downtime due to the full queue, but on the other hand my stats were better that day than any other, since every call was a 5-minute password reset.

Had a bug that I just couldn't figure out. How did I solve it? Had to think like a user. Just started clicking options over and over. Not giving it time. Found my issue.

Alrighty, saturday morning rant time!

I just recieved a mail from one of my not-so-much-loved colleagues.

Now Background first: I work in IT-Support. We provide services for other companies. One of those services is monitoring servers and clients for various things. I recently took over the project (was assigned to do it) and restructured everything, wrote new scripts to test more stuff, successfully tested it internally and rolled it out over the last 2 weeks.

Now one of these scripts hooks into the Windows Update API and looks at the update history. It filters for known Windows Update Agent strings (UpdateOrchestrator, AutomaticUpdates and AutomaticUpdatesWuApp in case you also want to do something like this) and then looks for installation errors over the last 24 hours and wherever there have even been any successful updates over the last one and a half months.

Back to that mail.

My colleague sent me this lovely mail about a ticket i opened about his customers servers beeing all out-of-date on updates.

"This is all wrong, everything's fine. I disabled the checks."

...

It's on bitch.

So i logged on to my work PC via TeamViewer, opened my script, connected to the customer and was ready to debug the shit out of my script, knowing i probably won't even need to.

I looked at the update history via Windows Update itself and behold: 1st April. That's almost 50 days in the past.

So the script works, go figure.

Great, so search for new Updates then.
>None found.

Hm. What could it be? Did my super special colleague forget to care about his very special totally-needs-WSUS-customer WSUS again?

Yup.

Online-Search finds a ton of new Updates.

Screenshot, write pissed mail to colleague, re-enable checks, breakfast.

Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.

Built my first mechanical keyboard over the last few days...

Had to desolder every switch and LED after I fucked up the directions. I wasn’t even mad because what the hell else am I gonna do during this quarantine?

Now I’m trying to learn QMK to get the RGB strip programmed and working and to figure out why the caps lock turns on the LED on LCTRL

I don't understand why someone who's totally sane and careful could forget to turn off MySQL general log over Christmas vacation. Of course Disk out of space caused us down time :/

I'm kinda freak about my knowledge.
When i find out i've missed an epsilone of a topic , i start that all over again to make sure i'll cover everything !

New reads: C programming language by ghanaian and ritchie

I'm often asked if I enjoyed my time in college. Of course I did. Loved learning how to code, and had a great rapport with the lecturers. I remember our conversations fondly:

Me: Funny story, over the weekend I was out with friends an...
Lecturer: You have friends?

I built an expert system (what we used to think of as AI back then) that could read the circuit diagram of a complex electronic circuit, figure out what it was meant to do, and set up the test gear to test it and diagnose manufacturing errors.
In 1985, using Vax/VMS and OPS5.

More recently, I was on a project (can't claim to have done it all myself this time) that used a neural network to detect patients in a care home that fell over/fell out of bed and alert the nurses' station.

The moment when you spend over 30 minutes trying to implement that last feature you were tasked with, a mate comes over, comments out your code, writes two lines and you just facepalm at how complicated your solution was.

Why does youtube keep suggesting videos I already saw?

Seriously, this must be what going insane feels like. Questioning whether I already saw a certain video every time something feels familiar and having Déja Vus all over the place. Youtube keeps digging out videos I watched a few years ago.

when i just read stuff about a programming language without putting any effort on it, after a month of vacation, every single thing i actually read and learnt over the past year came floating out of my brain and now i have to start over just so i can finish a programming challenge in time

note to self: time to get serious and keep up my pace in this devRace

Man, I love i3wm/Xfce but I miss the flashiness of KDE. I think I'll try out KDE Neon in a vm and mull over the week if I should switch back...

#justLinuxproblems

When your mostly done code that you spent time on documenting and keeping clean gets handed over to the sloppiest dev on the team. Because that dev is out of tasks and you got other work that moved up in priority. I really hope he doesn't ruin everything :(

Monday morning we found out our main event queue hadn't processed since late Wednesday afternoon. Shit was hitting the fan and we were stumped. What had changed?!?. Why wasn't the queue processor running?!?

Turns out a server restart had killed the job (no worries there, surely?!) but turns out the job checked for a system flag on disk to stop it running multiple instance or in this case as the flag was still present any instance at all. Got to love the little things that really screw you over.

This is a rant thats been waiting a long time to be said...

About half a year ago I got a refurbished laptop, and decided to run manjaro on it (primarily because I didn't have the time to setup arch). I spent time configuring it, I tried out different things, and all in all I learnt tons about linux, and just random things about computers in general.

I dont regret this in the slightest!

Despite the many times where something went horribly wrong, like after I moved over to efi (without a hitch, actually!) I forgot to add to fstab my esp and f-ed the whole boot system. Or when, right in the beginning of this adventure, I tried to move over Xorg to my nvidia gpu and left optimus on. Big Mistake! But I learnt, and I came out a better sysadmin, a better dev than when I first went in.

And again, I dont regret it in the slightest!

Therapy is hardest when you're starting it IMO. I don't like talking about my vulnerabilities with people face to face very much, I get pretty defensive about it. We've agree that I'm suffering from a high level of anxiety which is likely leading to depression and we'll be working on solutions in the coming weeks.

Over the weekend I stopped programming and dedicated myself to more leisure. Went out for a hike (literally) and got a PS4, my first new gaming machine in over two years. Been playing Horizon Zero Dawn.

I'm starting to feel a little bit better. :)

It's been more than 3 years since ES6 came out.

Why are tutorials STILL coming out with people using "var" over "let" and "const"?

Var is dead folks.

how can you stand the fact the guy who owns your company was able to bleed chalets and luxuries out of the product you worked on for him while you struggle to afford buying a house

i cant get over this fact

This hurricane fucking sucks. My power was out nearly all day today. It went out at 6ish this morning, and didn't come back on until 4-5ish in the afternoon.

I was coding on my laptop, trying to reproduce the sampling procedures we talked about in AP stats (hoping that I'd better understand the material if I could connect it to stuff I was doing in another class), and there was a piece of syntax I had forgotten over the summer, and it irritated the hell out of me that I couldn't just Google the answer.

Eventually I just drove to a Starbucks and hung out there for about an hour or two till the power came back on. I was terrified the power would just go out again before I got back home.

I think one of the most amazing things about being a developer is seeing the abstractions that have come about over time. From having to program in machine code and assembly, to now with languages like Java, where a lot of the boilerplate code is effectively abstracted out by frameworks.

So after a few struggles on my current uni assignment I’ve come to the realisation I need to change the way I write code, or at least the way I think about the code before I start.

I have a tendency to rush into coding something before I’ve planned it out properly, and over the last couple of days stupid mistakes on my part caused hours of stressing.

Are there any good methods for sitting down and planning stuff like this out, or is it just a case of getting some paper and a pen and writing out the logic etc in whatever way makes sense to you (me)?

MD came round and said thanks for pulling out the stops and working on stuff I never done to get projects done. nearly fell over.

When your customer calls you out and asks why "such and such" data wasn't copied over to the other two instances.

Then, thinking of course that it must be my fault: *research begins*

Reply to customer:
Your boss sent me an email that listed data points to *not* copy over, the item in question being one of them.

BAM!! ....developers: 1 customer: 0

*Filling out unit test plan for tester which is an Excel Document*
*Excel keeps trying to correct capitalization on a word that I want capitalized over and over*

LISTEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT! If I didn't want to capitalize that word I wouldn't have capitalized it! Just do what I tell you to do! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SOFTWARE! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Crawling out of my shell and taking control of my own work. Colleagues were surprised because I'm a very quiet person.

Sales can promise all they want, I decide when we're done. Taking the time to train my peers and learning from them. Communicating with everyone in a way to get things done. Get involved with other departments to see if processes can be optimized. Manage the customer's expectations (under-promise, over-deliver) Taking over this damn company to be more efficient!

Checking out a project on GitHub:

> Using advanced condition-based AI logic, Compactor can skip over files that have been previously found to be incompressible, making re-running Compactor on a previously compressed folder much quicker.
> (Yes, it's an if statement and a trivial hash database, hush)

Creating something out of nothing and knowing there's people from all over the world using my creation. One last thing is the developer community is so rich in diversity, walks of life, experience...it's truly awesome to get to know so many people who all program.

I remember when I was fresh out of college and I had a shitty client that wouldn't shut up on how my design didn't look exactly like the 50 page PDF they sent over. So what did I do? I took each page of the PDF, made it a JPEG, and made each page in the site an image. THERES YOUR PIXEL PERFECT DESIGN!

I wish I could handle tech like my mom did :D
Instead of raging and getting angry if something won’t work.
She go out, do work in her garden or something and give a damn shit about tech :D
techlevel over 9000!

Does anyone else ever get so distracted/tired/pent up with other shit going on that they become a liability?

Last night I had about 5 hours sleep and have been worried over general UK politics lately.

Today, on a phone call to get support over getting locked out of our Apple Developer Program account, the call centre agent asked if we had the password.

I immediately replied "Sure! It's **begins saying actual password allowed over the phone**

Just spent three and a half hours reconfiguring security cameras and troubleshooting over and over why the fuck internal and external weren’t reachable...

I failed to realize the DDNS was handing out the IP of 127.0.0.1 and 3.0.0.0 because nothing fucking stated that up until I found a small text link to the camera’s DDNS registration page... logged in with the customers info and low and behold the mother fucker was handing stupid shit out.

I hate that I overlook the simplest shit when I’m stressed and in a rush...

I need to learn to take deep breaths, but fuck that... I want to blow shit up.

I was out so I left my son to be watched over by the only people I trust and know.
#justKiddin

The fires in australia killed something like half a billion animals, and it's kind of sad, all that potential barbecue going to waste.

We have the means to solve this. With KNAWWWWLEDGE.

What we do is hook up buckets to a bunch of big ass drones and have some sort of contest to see who can put out the most acreage of fire. People will come from all over for the annual "australian fire olympics."

Shit, put a $1 million dollar bounty on "most acreage put out" stream it on twitch, youtube, netflix, you name it.

Fires would be out in a day or three.

Spent the whole day trying to refactor a program that consumes an API and didn’t work out. Now we have one less day to try to improve the product.

I think the fault was that we were aiming too high by looking at other libraries and we ended up over-complicating it.

!Rant:
Why did you guys decide to become a developer?

I became a developer after finding out that I loved wrecking my brains on complicated puzzles to keep me from getting depressed. After a while I figured out that I'm the person that needs to be challenged to actually be able to enjoy something and start to overthink the little things.

Here are the things I wreck my brains over on a weekly basis.
- programming
- research on complicated subjects
- magic the gathering

I once had a user email the help desk, explaining in a rather twisted and confusing way his issue. He signed the end of it with "shibboleet" (xkcd reference). I called him, because there was no way I'd be able to go over it through email, and for nearly an hour we totally nerded out over it together, working through it. At the end of our conversation, he said he couldn't believe the shibboleet thing was real! I confessed that I was first level and he'd happened to have asked about a thing that was of personal interest and hobby of mine... and catching the reference was the icing, that I wanted to play along.

Currently have this issue where I just want to try out all the cool things I see, so my project is not going anywhere and instead just gets rewritten over and over but with a different tool or architecture or framework each time. Can't lock down on something I like, because I like everything 😅

Use Xamarin, they said. It will be easy, they said. You will only need to write your UI once, they said. NOPE
Documentation is shit, I've been sitting here for the past hour and a half figuring out how to add an icon to a button in their shiny XAML thing for which they have NO DOCUMENTATION. THEY WANT YOU TO HOE IT OVER C# BUT THEY ONLY GIVE EXAMPLES IN C#. And now I'm trying to figure out where I can download the iOS UIBarButton icons, because you can't use native icons and fuck apple too, they don't want to give em to you.
What a hellhole.
All while my client is constantly spamming me in all ways, distracting me, marking issues as "supercritical" (which makes an alarm ring on my phone and is only meant for emergencies) and otherwise distracting the living daylight out of asking for screens of the UI.

AND I STILL PREFER IT OVER ANDROID STUDIO. Don't even get me started on that one.

Figured out the root cause of slow code by using a profiler in an afternoon (more like an hour but needed to confirm/investigate)...

Team spent over a week trying to figure it out using logging and debugging...

Even after I told them to use a profiler...

Guess now I've justified my position of being the highest paid dev on the team.

I just know how to use other tools besides a hammer.

Fucking product owners. Churning out retarded requirements every sprint and then complaining about how the requirements haven’t been met, just to add new retarded requirements the next sprint.

Hot tip, if your product owner is obsessed over apple events, tell the cunt to go buy a new Apple Watch and suck on apples trillion dollar market value. Fucking goofy cunts.

"The way to 'get your name out there' is to establish a pattern of excellent work and a reputation for integrity over several years. " - Andy Rutledge

Check this out :
Lib-A need Lib-C version 10.0.2
Lib-B need Lib-C version 9.0.0
And and ..
Lib-D need Lib-A some old version ..
And
Some other shit...my solution .. nuke the project start over and try to use as minimum libs as possible..

Since my ISP doesn't allow port forwards on that port, does anyone want to open their port 445 (if not otherwise occupied by Microsoft-DS) and have netcat reply an empty string or so any request (such as an empty string) sent over TCP (or has anyone already done so)? It would help me out a lot with testing out some networks full port range (since portquiz.net's hoster blocks that port) and would take close to no bandwidth for you.

Top do-over... I was extraordinary in biology and microbiology. For some reason, I still remember every little detail, everything that I was learning regarding it felt so natural and easy for me. My heart was pulling me to IT, in the end, I become an average, okayish IT guy, with reasonable programming, networking, and other IT skills, but I had to suffer the hell out of studying to reach here. I never was in love with biology, but damn, it frustrates the heck out of me that I'm so freaking good at it... So, my do-over would be to go all-in with Biology.

when you're teaching the freshman, and they're flipping out over trying to understand c compiler errors, while you think to yourself "just wait till that first bug that only breaks something sometimes but you don't always notice..."

What would've taken the whole night to figure out, had i continued last evening to pursue it, was figured out in less than an hour this morning.

Resonates the fact that sleeping over something helps and that when fucked up take a walk/sleep.

Just finished all exams... Happy that they are over and sad because now I am six months away from getting kicked out to society

due to some error on GCP, my and friend got locked out of a prod server over ssh.

And the fucking admin was not giving us privileges to do it through serial port, why you ask cause submitting keys from dashboard was not working.

Later, found out google runs a startup script from startup-script metadata tag.

It felt like showing a middle finger to the admin and google

Not dev related but this panic buying over covid19 is putting my family in a hard place, I have 5 kids to feed and there are no slots of home delivery and most things are being sold out.

Alright i make jokes alot of times for fist over ip but damn there's just so fucking many people that it could be useful on. Somebody needs to figure this shit out where i can go dark side and just choke a dumbass no class asshole out.

I just can't get over the fact that the .com domain I have been eyeing for is still out of my reach. This name popped to my brain after brain storming over a week when I started making sites when i was a teen.

The domain has been sitting there unused with a basic webpage containing some ugly web design from 90s era.

I have been eyeing it for over 6 years now and just found out he renewed it for yet another 3 years!

I don't want to approach him about it either, I'm not that desperate for it that I'd pay millions for it.

The wait continues...

Anyone been in a similar situation?

There are days I like to pull my hair out and create a dynamic 4D map that holds a list of records. 🤯

Yes there's a valid reason to build this map, generally I'm against this kind of depth 2 or 3 is usually where I draw the line, but I need something searchable against multiple indexes that doesn't entail querying the database over and over again as it will be used against large dynamic datasets, and the only thing I could come up with was a tree to filter down on as required.

Yea... it's not at all obvious I have my nose buried in a book and constantly tapping at the keyboard to run tests for how I might work out this problem. Now is an excellent time to repeat my name over and over, since I've been trying to ignore it, until I look up at you, just so you can show me that hilarious giphy thingy you found.

So, I like refactoring old shits.
Now I want to exterminate this over thousand lines of code class. I have to be witty about it and do it within couple of PR, or they will find out I'm not doing anything productive but making their code cute again!

I’ve been asked to step in and help out with a flailing project.

First day of getting acclimatised I see there’s over 100 tasks in WIP. 4 devs in the team.

Holy cunting fuck. Where do I start?

What is the point of applying to 1000 jobs and getting rejected? Each rejection i feel humiliated, pissed all over my face, shat all over, spitted all over my face, fucked in mouth, slapped with a dick across my face, cussed out and hear a loud FUCK you to my face -as a rejection

Whats the fucking point. I have to fucking FIGHT and be THANKFUL to get up in the morning to work EXTREME HARD JOBS for $500 A MONTH? In THIS CRISIS OF ECONOMY?? AND EVEN FIGHT FOR THAT KIND OF "PRIVILEGE"???

HAVE YOU ALL GONE FUCKING MAD?????

Our company got bought over from a global private entity 3 months back (advent international) and the reciew process started and it turns out, im part of the bunch that may be getting retrenched as per the meeting we just had, our positions being redundant and just last week had a over the top performance review.. Now i need to figure out what to tell the family when i get home. This Fucking sucks im not going to lie

Not as a dev, but in college I worked in the student union. For my boss's birthday they lured him out of his office and told me to TP it. So I did. And I went all out. They thought I would only use one roll. I used 5 or 6. All over his lamps, desk, I made streamers, everything. Too bad the dude turned out to be a power hungry dick and fucked things up for everybody.

Identifying when to start a project over because it has gotten out of hand with workarounds and memory management issues.

So we are migrating between different hosts so I write a nice script to move two pieces of encrypted data between the two, one over ssh, the other over https to two separate end points. One boss says can’t do that as it is insecure because they come from the same script!

Another boss objected that I wrote a script to dump databases in bash rather than like his in PHP even all his PHP does is run the same bash commands, I just took out the middleman and made it faster.

#baddayintheoffice #anyonelookingforaseniordev

I woke up pumped as hell this morning, it was gonna be the most productive day in history, I was gonna finish that fucking Rails app I've been dragging on for long enough, maybe even go out and get a girlfriend... Then I went to the kitchen and the fucking espresso it's over... Fuck this shit I'm going back to bed.

!ran Why cant companies work with employees over skype and other software instead of everybody having to physically go to a workplace?

Wouldn't it be more convinient to just connect over such softwares, and share code over github and stuff?

Or what is the reason that companies want to have their employees in a building?

No workplace = less money spent?

I'm not in a job yet and have no experience out of highschool working else where.
I'm just curious on what your opinions are.

I've submitted a PR to a large open source project, and I've had no feedback in over two weeks.

I spent a weekend and many late nights working out how to solve this bug - it was my time - and the project team haven't eaten acknowledged the PR.

Good to be back at work.

But kind of annoying when you check the server and it turns out that the 3rd Party API fell over and the guy responsible for it is still in holidays..

In regards to SO being down and the ensuing dev freak out.
To me, that's not a sign of devs using it as a crutch or being lazy etc, but rather a sign that devs are using it as a tool to resolve an issue they have not encountered yet. It's a sign that they are challenging themselves to find a good solution and not a hack, it's a sign they are learning, a sign they aren't just implementing the same project over and over again.

Like Martha Stewart says, "It's a good thing."

trying to add a feature and then finding out that for some reason it overloads everything, so i try to fix it only to find out everything is broken and i can find the source of the problem, so i delete all of the code and start all over again

Ops wants to use an untested feature in production

Dev points out the high risk of doing so, and refuses to be accountable to any fallout

Ops gets bitchy and demands that Dev activate the feature

Ops executes the feature

Production breaks over the long weekend (Canada)

Ops complains to Management

Dev is blamed by Management

So, there was this time I was a security intern for google, It was my first day as an intern tho :p and I got a little excited about exploring stuff and all at the workplace. Me having a large appetite was mesmerized by the food supplied over there.
I might have sat approximately 2 hours over there fantasizing about how much could I save over food by eating a lot over here and taking some to home.
Then came the SE/SDE guys over my place and we started discussing how there was a loophole here and how one could exploit it. All were heads over heels how was I making calculations for "my" property. All seemed to be pretty interested except for one guy. This guy was over excited how I was managing this and slacking off over the first day. He happened to be a senior lead architect, turns out he shows too much interest in anything he finds suspicious. This wasn't supposed to be rant, but yeah. My story.

Android Studio is indexing files...

welp... might as well go out and do the grocery shopping, get my hair cut, maybe go to the gym, maybe drive over to the next city and hit the casinos...

and then come back to find that Android Studio is STILL indexing files...

PIECE. OF. SHIT.

Ok. The honeymoon with Windows 10 is clearly over and so the gloves are off.

About to lose my mind with both Windows and Visual Studio updates. If A+B, everything goes smoothly but on the other hand if A+B, everything goes to hell.

And when trying to add components to Visual Studio, it fails 9 times out of ten due to some goddamn /NoWeb switch. What/where the hell is this switch and why everything works without issues that one time out of ten!?

About to burn everything with fire!

Social keep seeing everyone gush over every new Samsung S series devices displays and got to test out the s10's display and you know what...

I hate the displays, the saturation is unbearable and it just looks over done and like it's compensating... Am I the only one?

Someone at my work actually got a rubber duck and him talking to this duck (himself) is really annoying at one point someone got over there and solved problem for him lol seriously, who actually says it out loud?

Ideally, there would be 3 engineers and 2 sales people. The engineers would pair with the sales folks on calls to figure out what customers need and hire designers to design just want needs to be built. Everyone would be responsible, not over commit, not oversell, and figure out creative ways to make the company money and achieve technological superiority.

I reset my Linode VPS to vanilla Arch after the blundered attempt to use an unsupported Linux distro. Now I'm reinstalling OpenVPN and decided to try out IPv6 networking over the tunnel. Got my free address block and it is SO AWESOME, even typing the addresses feels nicer. I never want to touch IPv4 octets again.

When you're looking for the person that wrote over your changes by force pushing and you find out it was your CTO.

Thankfully not anymore, but Asana was the most frustrating and confusing piece of crap when I had to work with it.

I would literally spend hours trying to sort out where everything came from, let my boss know that other people were trying to get me to do something via some private task that no one else can see, sort out random ass replies to random points in conversations and then open up my email and answer all the half-baked open ended questions that were sent separately over email.

So last year I started a project, and gave up after 8 months (was an unemployed student, and made my todo list wayyy too long)

Turns out, over those 8 months I wrote over 13.5k lines of coding/ styling, while also spending a couple months revising for, and taking my GCSE exams where I didnt do any programming.

Somehow I was averaging around 2k lines a month and I wish I had that productivity still.

I will literally pull out you soul, grill it, and then put it back into you just to kill you, roll you up in nice mustard, pickles, bacon, pepper and salt and then roll you over with beef so I can properly make a roast and then, when you're ded, I will take your soul again to just torture it for all eternity.

....didn't have my coffee yet, guten morgen

Was trying to figure out why my fix had created a performance issue in our app. Tried loads of different things. Turned out it was because I was iterating over a ~300 item array, and then iterating over another ~300 item array within that loop 😂

300 iterations * 300 = unhappy iPad

I had a bug in my code, I was sure I fixed it but when I tested it nothing was charged. I asked my friend to take a look, and when he looked over my code I found out what the problem was: I tested with the older version.

Ok. Vim is absolutely brilliant. But sublime in vintage mode ( sublime text with some of the vim capabilities ) is more brilliant. Today I just found out that this code editor (sublime) has this feature implemented and I'm happier than ever. I will use both of them and I won't need any over text editor ( although I have to try to emacs and spacemacs ).

Been working on a particularly elusive HTML menu sizing glitch for over a year now, trying to get it to appear consistently enough to track down its cause. Finally a) got it to happen in a browser so I could hit it with Chrome Inspector and b) figured out what was probably causing it and fixed it.

And then...

*happens again*

*cannot reproduce the issue, but bossman can*

me --> *commits suicide*

Just received an email from a high maintenance client - this is verbatim what I've just read:

"If I could pull out my Windows vista and then plug in a newer windows system without any stress I'd go for this. Do you do this service? I could pay you for an hour to come my business, Unplug, Plug in and sort this out etc etc. It sounds like a quick job to me."

Note I'm a software developer, nothing to do with day to day IT support stuff. The client's business property is a 45 min drive from my own.

So basically, according to my client I can charge a single hour (£85.00 +vat) for a 90 minutes round trip, to migrate their PC to a newer operating system and move all their data and apps over and then setup the new OS. All for £85.00 +vat. All excluding the fact I

What the literal heck. I'm face palming all over the place.

Can I just say, I owe my soul, nerves and eternal gratitude to the folk over at Percona? They publish articles that have, on more than one occasion, saved my hide when a DB node wasn't working as it should, and I had to find out how to fix that.

Seriously, amazing, love those guys!

I think the angriest I've been at work was the day my coworker,and I found out that another department at our research institution had websites. Our Pi had been practically begging for us to get a site for over a year. Also, their websites were shitty.