Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/

Enter site

"U must disable adblock to use this site"

Ok adblock disabled

Refresh page

"CLICK HERE TO FUCK THIS FUCKIN HOT HENTAI BITCH IN THE PUSSY WITH HER BIG FUCKIN JUICY TITS AND BIG ASS AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST SEX VIRTUAL GAME OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS AD"

does stackoverflow team use their site if they have issues with coding?

Consultant: "you should deploy a website. Use wordpress and have a draft ready in a few days. It's easy."

Me: "It's a static website, a one-pager even. I think we would be better served with something light-weight without a database."

Consultant: "99% of the websites in the entire internet are powered by wordpress. It's state of the art, you should use it"

Me: 😢 "Nooo, it needs mainentance and stuff. Look, XY is much simpler. You can even version the static site with git"

Consultant: 😤

We ended up with wordpress for our static website now. I am so proud. I absolutely love wordpress. It is amazing. Now my static one-pager can have plugins, multiple users, security issues and all that. The future is now!

"We need you to build a feature on our website to stop people taking screenshots. I can use the print screen key and then easily print out our website design. You need to make the site design harder to copy".

This is an extract from a recent client email I received. To say I'm in shock is an understatement.

More than half of all support calls and tickets we get are so fucking easily searchable through our own fucking website and search engines, it's really fucking annoying sometimes.

"how do I redirect a site?"
Type the fucking word redirect into our helpdesk page.

"how can i reset my email password?"
Literally fucking type the word EMAIL into fucking search bar?!

"hey the article said to go to yourdomain.com/webmail, I'm not getting anything!!!"
"what domain did you use?"
"yourdomain.com of course!"

😥🔫

"how can I add a domain to my hosting?"
Search for the FUCKING word DOMAIN on our online helpdesk.

IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD, PLEASE APPLY COMMON SENSE AND USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN.

Built a few php scripts allowing me to automatically download pics and videos from a porn'ish site.

Entirely unnecessarily and I hardly use it (I can just go to the site) but hey, automation is fun!

At middle school they kept on banning the flash game sites so I made one my self but it was called something like mathhomework.somefreehost.com, the landing page looked like a homework site and all the flash games were called something like problem_1.swf. I use to sell logins to class mates at like £2.50.

Old but gold. Which one should I use for my site? 😏

Years ago we had a visit from a startup company developing a firewall and I got the chance to talk with one of their devs.

He explained the subtleties of security holes in websites and after I said something about our site being secure thanks to being behind a firewall he gently asked what would happen if he entered a specially crafted test into one of the text fields ... and he gave an example ...

I got a chill, went back to my seat and traced what it would do ...

That was when I learned about sql injection and his example would have killed the DB :/

Before going home I designed a way to secure the input which I then refined over a few days.

We still use that today after 17 years.

That one single sentence really showed to never be to proud of our security and I realized how vulnerable our site was.

Neighbor: Hey! You know how to make websites right?
I: ya! Look at some of my work.
Neighbor: Nice! Will you make one for this concert i am hosting?
I: ya sure! It'll cost 2500 INR.
Neighbor: ok. Will inform you.
------he never informs------
------2 week later--------
Neighbor: look at these posters I got made for the concert... Since you have an eye for good design, tell me how you like them?
I: they are pretty good. Wont you require the site?
Neighbor: No. It'll work without the site.

---------1 year later-------
Neighbor: hey. Will you make a site for me? Where i can showcase the photographs i take and people can comment and like them?
I: Ya sure. Will cost you 4000 INR.
Neighbor: ok. Will inform you.
--------He never informs---------
--------2 weeks later----------
Neighbor: hey i found out this site called wix where they make a site for free.
I: cool.
Neighbor: will you teach me how to use it?
I: 🤔😑😫😤

"The customer reports that port 21 is closed on our FTP site. They said that port 443 is open, and wonder if they can use that instead."

"They are entering the wrong server name. Our FTP server is ONLY an FTP server. Port 443 is not open on our FTP server.

Please verify that they are entering `ftp.xxxxxx.com`

Our FTP site supports FTP/SSL if they are concerned about security."

"Customer responds that they would rather use port 443 to send files."

"I'm sure they would. I'd also like to enter our building on the west side when the temperature is below 10º, but there are no doors on the west side, so that's not going to happen, is it?"

Google: Don't use a password from another site, or something too obvious like your pet's name.
Me: 5f4dcc3b5aa765d61d8327deb882cf99

So I got an answer on Stack overflow

Answerer basically said "finding the error is tedious so I re-wrote your code"

They changed about 15 lines in their answer. I combed over it and found that I needed just one.

I put an answer myself, saying which line was missing (as the other answer didn't highlight the actual solution, and rather re-implemented my code)

My clear, concise answer was deleted by moderator for "Not adding anything new" (Except what the exact answer was to my problem, I guess)

Not my fucking problem. Make your own Q&A site harder to use, as if I give a fuck.

boss: please look into tools that do X.

fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!

boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.

fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...

[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?

fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!

F*@#! *%*#

-Registers on a site to use the product
-Opens email

"Our weekly news digest"
"Our daily news digest"
"You haven't used our products for 15 minutes. We miss you"
"Would you recommend our products to a friend"
"If you like this, you'll LOVE this"
"Here's a promo code for something you don't need"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"

FUCK OFF YOU ANNOYING CUNTS

So I'm a UX Designer and my husband is a Mobile Engineer so obviously he makes more. I swear my field doesn't get enough credit it deserves (considering we're the ones figuring how the user will use the app/site/whatever device). My mother in-law decided my work isn't as important as his and that I stand below him. Gee thanks for the biggest insult, even when I had to go to grad school for 2 years, worked full-time at the same time so that we could help his family with some stuff considering we're the only couple who is capable of it. :/

Really Quora? You're going to make your site mobile compatible, but you're not going to let me use it. Fuck you.

Manager: we use <teaming meeting service> for all of our team meetings.
Me: cool I'll go to the site and join the meeting.
Me: [using opera as default browser]
Service: [doesn't work with opera]
Me: [not really surprised, tries firefox]
Service: I need java to run me.
Me: I have java.
Firefox: yeah but I don't.
Me: why?
Firefox: 'cause we're phasing it out.
Me: [looking for some kind of plugin]
Internet: [tldr Firefox can only use 32bit java if it must use java]
Me: [installs 32 bit java]
Firefox: nah.
Me: waht?
Firefox: [covering its eyes] I can't see anything
Me: it's right there.
Firefox: ...
Me: ...
Firefox: ...
Me: ... please?
Firefox: ...nah...
Me: [checks service supported browsers]
Service: on Linux: ONLY FIREFOX
Me: .... fuck...
Me: [downloads Linux-32 distro]
Me: [runs as vm]
Me: [installs Firefox esr]
Me: [installs java-32]
Me: [manually creates plugin for Firefox to recognize java]
Me: [logs onto service and signs in]
Service: Meeting concluded 26 minutes ago.

At work:

"I do not get your concerns over ssl, it works fine when we use ie"

"What do you mean by xss? A regular use would not even try ans attempt something like that"

"We need to keep the txt file with the passwords there, its an internal project, the public would not even attempt to reach our site, just put them back"

Ah the many stories that I have from this place. It is an otherwise good place to work at tho, but oh well...

Me on a daily basis tho

Classmate: You should use Bootstrap!
Me: Why?
Classmate: It's "the framework" that makes your site responsive.
Me: *a long moment of silence*
Me: *goes home*

Following a conversation with a fellow devRanter this came to my mind ago, happened a year or two ago I think.

Was searching for an online note taking app which also provided open source end to end encryption.

After searching for a while I found something that looked alright (do not remember the URL/site too badly). They used pretty good open source JS crypto libraries so it seemed very good!

Then I noticed that the site itself did NOT ran SSL (putting the https:// in front of the site name resulted in site not found or something similar).

Went to the Q/A section because that's really weird.

Saw the answer to that question:

"Since the notes are end to end encrypted client side anyways, we don't see the point in adding SSL. It's secure enough this way".

😵

I emailed them right away explaing that any party inbetween their server(s) and the browser could do anything with the request (includingt the cryptographic JS code) so they should start going onto SSL very very fast.

Too badly I never received a reply.

People, if you ever work with client side crypto, ALWAYS use SSL. Also with valid certs!

The NSA for example has this thing known as the 'Quantum Insert' attack which they can deploy worldwide which basically is an attack where they detect requests being made to servers and reply quickly with their own version of that code which is very probably backdoored.

This attack cannot be performed if you use SSL! (of course only if they don't have your private keys but lets assume that for now)
Luckily Fox-IT (formerly Dutch cyber security company) wrote a Snort (Intrustion Detection System) module for detecting this attack.

Anyways, Always use SSL if you do anything at all with crypto/sensitive data! Actually, always use it but at the very LEAST really do it when you process the mentioned above!

My boss likes to measure the spacing between DOM elements using a ruler to make sure everything is proportional.

I forgot to remove some padding on an element so it wasn't exactly centered, so he comes in and says...

"the padding on the site is off, I think you need to use this" *drops ruler on desk*

Now I have to keep this stupid ruler on my desk because whenever I forget to align something he says... "that's why I gave you the ruler"

Too difficult to explain to these subhumans that I don't need a ruler to write proper css

Bought a second hand phone because my current one drains too fast (battery).

Flashing through the recovery doesn't work, I need Odin.

Only windows installation I have left (spare laptop I hardly use) crashes every time I boot up.

Linux version of an alternative is downloadable but the site gives a shit ton of errors.

Well fuck me sideways right now.

watched a client use IE, all the while they didn't use tabs or even a new window, every time we had to go back to a previous site they had to Google the URL then click the search link

I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress.

Wordpress can take a big shit on itself and crawl into a deep dark hole far away from all that is good.

Who even uses Wordpress? Bloggers? Come on, let’s be honest, they’re using more intuitive sites like weebly, wix, and square space. So WHAT is Wordpress for? I’ll tell you, it’s just to FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE.

So, being the “techy guy” of the family, a relative contacts me asking for some help with their website because they need to install an SSL certificate but they don’t know how to. I tell them I’d gladly do it because, sure, they’re family and how long can it possibly take to install a certificate? I’ve done it before!

Well, I get to work and log into the sluggish Wordpress dashboard and try to use a plugin that would issue a LetsEncrypt certificate because they are free and just as good as any other SSL. But one plugin after the next I keep getting errors about how my hosting wouldn’t allow it.

So I contact GoDaddy (don’t get me fucking started) and ask them about the issue. The guy tells me it’s “policy” to only be able to use GoDaddy’s certificates. How much do they cost? Oh, how about $100 a year?! Fuck you.

I figured out the only way to escape this hell was to ask them to open an economy Linux hosting account with cPanel on GoDaddy (the site was formerly hosted on a “Managed Wordpress” account which is just bullshit for not wanting to give you any control over your own goddamn content). So now I have to deal with migrating the site.

GoDaddy representative tells me that it should only take 20 minutes for me to do this (I’ve already spent way too much time on this but whatever) so I go forward with the new account. I decide I should migrate the site by exporting a backup and manually placing everything on the new server. Doesn’t it end up taking an entire hour to back up a 200MB site because GoDaddy throttled the processing speed?!

So, it’s another hour later and I’ve installed all the databases and carried over all the files. At this point, I’m really at the end of my rope and can’t wait to install the certificate and be done with this fuckery.

I install the certificate and finally get ready to be on my way, but then I see it. A warning. A warning from my browser telling me the site is only partially secure. It turns out the certificate was properly installed but whoever initially made the site HARDCODED ALL THE LINKS to images, websites, and style sheets to be http instead of https.

I’m gonna explode.

I swear, I’m gonna fucking explode.

After a total of 5 hours of work, I finally get the site secure by using search and replace on every fucking file.

Wordpress can go suck a big one. Actually, Wordpress can go suck the largest fuckin one in existence and choke on it.

TL;DR I agree to install an SSL certificate but end up with much more work than I bargained.

Client: You are bad developers. Your code has bugs and the site isn't even pretty. And why is it so damn expensive??
Us: ...

Same client (a month later): I need this campaign landing page with the option to register and an admin for user management. It should be done till the day after tomorrow because the URL is already in print. Here's the catalogue (in .pdf) in which it will appear. Use it as a style guide.

FUCK YOU!

Coding Guide:
wanna start coding?
it's very simple, just follow this steps!

1. prepare a notebook and pen.

2. choose a programming language you would like to learn.

3. find a nice site for study it, SoloLearn is a very good site, you can ask me in the comments for more.

4. start copying every code block and summary to the notebook.

5. don't worry about not understanding it yet.

6. finish copying at last 5 subjects.

7. start the course again, and follow the notebook.

8. do it few times, your mind will remember it.

now the hard part!
good job, you remember the basic, but don't know how to use it? well 1 more guide for it.

1. prepare a notebook and pen.

2. now, it's your time to teaching it!

3. try to explain the code in your words or language.

4. after few times your mind will remember all the necessary things about coding.

5. start to make little apps or even games.

enjoy =D
of course you need to coding every day for 1 hour+-

The company I recently started working for are young guys my age, who want me to create awesome stuff, however I feel is best, and they let me think and try stuff, like new cool design ideas and use latest API's to create the most modern site possible. "Whatever you think is the best way to do it"

And I'm paid a decent salary. This is the first job I liked. Ever. I literally wake up early to get going, and work overtime (without them knowing nor paying extra) because I think this project is so amazing and I feel like giving back.. I usually hate PMs, but these guys rock.

Thinking whats behind every app, site and software that I use and see

1. Enter site

*YOU MUST DISABLE UR ADBLOCK TO USE THIS SITE*

2. Exit site

You think you're gonna fuck with me and force me to waste my time disabling adblock refreshing the site so i can browse your shitty site? No I'll just go ahead and open the next website that provides the same information and better yet doesn't force me to disable my adblock. Finding alternative site with same information like yours is abundant and much faster than me wasting my time disabling adblock. Fuck you

"This site isn't compatible with Internet explorer, use Firefox or Chrome"

This is what happens when devs get frustrated

Ever had one of those moments when sites run by cunts (fuck you CNET) autoplays videos at 200% volume?

Use the extension called "Silent Site Sound Blocker" to make sure only whitelisted websites can play sounds.

Fuck yeah!

End of second week at a new job. Found what I thought was a bug and wanting to impress I fixed it. The dev reviewing my code had just started a week before me so he also had no idea what was going on. It went live Friday afternoon.

Come back Monday morning and turns out I completely broke everything and nobody could use the site all weekend. I thought I was done for sure. Was shitting myself all day waiting for the call.

TURNS OUT NOBODY EVEN NOTICED

That time I had to explain the manager (who decided and committed the deadlines) what a URL was and why we need to use a server for staging the web site.

I like frontend when using no frameworks. I also like when websites use no frameworks and don't write unnecessary code. So that I can use it even if my mobile internet speed gets locked at 16K and from the consumer perspective I think especially in Europe developers should consider this. Moreover I think it's generally more fun to just write your own site from scratch, it will take longer but it will allow one to be more creative and the whole experience will be more fulfilling.

please don't use company email address to register on a porn site

I hate to use a meme on this site, but 16 years later, I can't believe how often this still happens to me.

9:30 - College
10:00 - Heard we got to build a fucking portfolio website in WordPress.
10:02 - Said I already had a personal portfolio
10:03 - Heard I still have to build a fucking WordPress portfolio website..
11:20 - Remembered I put on my portfolio that I don't want to fucking use WordPress!!!!!

Now - I live in pain. Building a WP site so I do NOT have to do it later :/

I am building an ecommerce site and the client is asking me to hide the product prices because he doesn't want his competitors to see his prices. He also thinks it is a smart move not to allow users create an account and use it immediately. He wants to manually approve every user that signs up.
Why do people who know nothing always argue with us when it comes to our job?

So I'm in the middle of the website migration that was made in Wordpress.

Just made a database dump and decided to take a look at it cause it looked really big for a site that only needs internal management. Found out they use contact form plugin which stores binary of attachments directly in database..

And people ask me why I hate Wordpress and so called Wordpress devs..

Ive just bought a domain name for my nephew of now 36 hours old. Ive a really common lastname and it took me 8 years to get a domainname with my name in it.

By the time he is ten (or how old they will be when they get their first email address) he will have his own personalized email and when they learn the basics of programming he can use his own domain for his site.

I've been tasked to do website debugging.
For Internet Explorer 11.
On a Mac.
I have to use a virtual machine to get Windows on a mac just so I can test on internet explorer.
This mac is not fast.
This virtual machine is even less fast.
The internet explorer on this virtual machine on this mac is the least fast.
Even worse, this website is a pile of garbage. It's slower than my grandma.
My grandma is dead.
You can't get any slower than that, so I thought.
But then I got introduced to the result of making a wordpress site with over 300 pieces of media and 20 plugins.
If you are one of the people that's smart enough to stay away from wordpress: I assure you that it fucks your site up beyond repair.
So anyway, how was your day?

99% of our server-side code is Python and PHP (legacy applications).

Asked a junior dev to make a small update to a PHP site so we could have it run some cleanup server side. Plenty of existing PHP code to look at and piece something together. Should be 50 lines max.

Did he use the existing PHP code to do this task? Nope. Did he at least use Python? Nope.

Node.js

His response?

"I couldn't figure it out and Node.js seemed to have good support for mongo so I used that instead."

We have 0 lines of server side javascript. Never had node installed. Literally none of the devs use node here. Not only is this completely outside of our tech stack, but he had to take the time to learn Node and JS just because he thought it was easier.

Much would of rather he put in twice as much time to learn the tools of our stack.

Worst dev experience….

Forgetting to use a private browser tab to look at porn….

Take my laptop to work the next day because the bosses want a rundown on seo and trends of the site….

Go to google type “ana…” hoping for the autocomplete of “analytics”, but no. I got “busty anal POV”….

On a 50” 4K screen, they all saw my auto-complete……

"You can use an eraser on the drafting table or a sledge hammer on the construction site." - Frank Lloyd Wright

" this page uses cookies"
"We've updated our privacy policy"
*30 sec full screen ad* OR "please turn off your adblocker and refresh"
"Would you like to take a survey?"
"Click to read more"
"You've reached your free articles for the month. Please subscribe!"

Jesus fucking Christ! Is it such a sin to read articles in peace? How does anybody use your shitty site. How does anybody PAY for your shitty site?! Fuck your articles. Why do companies think this is a good model?!

I’m doing my friend website css, not only it’s hard but I spend like 1 hour trying to figure out why I could use png image but jpg image couldn’t show up. Then I just convert the jpg to png. Not sure if this gonna affect the site on the future

I hope not

Worked with a European consulting company to integrate some shared business data (aka. calling a service).
VP of IT called an emergency meeting (IT managers, network admins) deeply concerned about the performance of the international web site since adding our services.
VP: “The partner’s site is much slower than ours. Only common piece that could cause that is your service.”
Me: “Um, their site is vastly different than ours. I don’t think we can compare their performance to ours.”
VP: “Performance is #1! I need your service fixed ASAP!”
Me: “OK, but what exactly is slow? How did you measure their site? The servers are in Germany”
VP: “I measured performance from my house last night.”
Me: “Did you use an application?”
VP: “<laughs> oh no, I was at home. When I opened the page, I counted one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, then the page displayed.”
Me: “Wow…um…OK…uh…how long does our page take to load?”
VP: “Two Mississippi’s”
Me: “Um…wow…OK…wow…uh, no, we don’t measure performance like that, but I’ll work with our partners and develop a performance benchmark to determine if the shared service is behaving differently.”
VP: “Whatever it is, the service is slow. Bill, what do you think is slowing down the service?”
NetworkAdmin-Bill: “The Atlantic Ocean?”
VP got up and left the meeting.

got given the job of removing a menu link on a site my company hadn't built today.

biggest pile of dung ever! the site had folders for 5 different back end languages all full of random files not in use.

I dug around and found it was using a big framework that produces a massive single variable and outputs it as the page.

Eventually I realised this wasn't in use either but was still being loaded in the site! in fact the site even has a database and an admin login but the stupid original dev hard coded all the content in and runs includes to files in the admin folder directly from config!

such a confusing, pointless, shit site! Its like building a car and driving it like Fred from the Flintstones....

every day I get phone calls from some idiot to moan about something I fixed.

I had a job to copy a site and use it for another company, with everyone's consent. I do it and found the original was garbage. hard coded functionalities. limited control over which pages appear in the menu and so on.

problem is the site administrator doesn't understand the system and made pages visible on the menu that shouldn't be and so on. these never showed up before because it was broken.

now she phones every day because she setup her pages wrong originally and tells me stuff like, why did you change this, it worked before and crap.

I never expected she would have setup the pages incorrectly so I never thought this would happen.

lesson here is if it's broken and you're the only one that's noticed, just bloody leave it.

Why the fuck would you use xml to store data

Why the fuck would you use xmdsaasd to build your site

Mysql and php exist for a fucking reason

Lots of oof in one image.

I like how they had the audacity to say (and I fucking quote): "this is good news!"

I don't like to complain about sites generating revenue. I understand it is important and I even feel morally obligated not to use an adblocker. But all I will say is that the site has sustained itself for a very long time without the use of poor-quality and unrelated ads, and this feels like a lot more of a money grab than something the site actually requires.

Anyways, happy to see a -400 score on it. And I guess I can't wait to get Amazon ads on SO.

Project Manager: "Let's put this temporary site up that the sales guys can use until the app is released in a few months"

A year later it's still used more than the app.

// bandaids are forever

Designers that continually use non-webfonts, KNOWINGLY, and then get pissy when the site doesn't look EXACTLY like the concept.

I was once requested to update a website and the requirements were that it "must be flash based...and use our company's color scheme."

I saw the current site and critiqued the color before knowing that the color was the company's signature and had to be there. The colors were a pukish yellow like someone pissed all over the site and that color was everywhere. I said that site looked like something from 1998 and flash was not the way to go.

They wouldn't hear any of that. No need to mention I didn't take that job.

I'm a student in applied computer science and yesterday I had a course where we use drupal and we needed to update our drupal site. The professor told us at the beginning that in a previous lesson some people needed more than 2 hours to do this. I started laughing because whybin the world would you need more than 2 hours to update a site, right?
It took 3 hours to update my site -_-

At an expensive Apache Spark training class. For hands on portion you use their system. When everyone logged on, their system couldn't handle the load. First they blamed the hotel wifi (even though every other site was running perfectly) and then they blamed AWS. It's clearly an issue with their system. It's ridiculous to not be honest with a room full of developers who know what's up.

My employer thinks their Wordpress site is great because it's so easy to find a Wordpress "developer". That's like commissioning artwork patched together from colouring books because it's easy to find someone who can use crayons.

PSA:

Just started using Firefox nightly. It has an add on called "super dark mode" that automatically converts ANY site you visit to a dark theme.

#How the fuck did I use Chrome till now.

Just stumbled across this gem last night. You guys know how biggest online games site in my country (also backed up by largest ISP) handles reset password requests?

After clicking "Forgot password", it asks you to login to Gmail (cause everyone is assumed to have and use one, right?) and then opens "New Email" window prefilled with some template data which you're expected to finish (in screenshot below).

And I just wanted to play some Ludo with my friends.. 🙄🙈

So... We have a client that shan't be named cause I don't even know their name. A non-profit charity-type classical music organization. Anyway, they came yesterday to discuss the design of their site. Now, before we get to the happenings, know that the construction of said site is ongoing for over 3 years now, with stuff being delayed due to never providing needed content or due to changes in their organization. Due them considering that the site was never finished they believe that all of the changes they request should not be paid. The site is live and in use during the whole time, perfectly functional. They're just never happy with the design and constantly change it little by little, and during the course of those years, it's gone through multiple complete overhauls when you put those little changes together.

TL;DR: Client believes that they should not have to pay for changes over the years due to the belief that it was never finished in the first place.

Project management site, exclusively for use by our team and clients.

- The client creates a new project.
- They list the requirements, supplying all the necessary files and content.
- We challenge any stupid stuff by offering alternative solutions.
- We all sign off on the requirements and no more are allowed to be added or modified. If they forgot anything, it's on record who's to blame.
- We estimate time and cost to complete the build.
- If they accept, we finally begin the work
- At each stage of every requirement, we mark the status as pending, in progress, ready for testing and delivered.

Much less stress due to minimising change requests. Plus easier to follow than an email chain and easier for them to use than a jira portal.

First time ever a site asks me to use IE!

A dev posts a link to his website on a dev group I admin, first thing said site does is ask for my location. I look, no map not logically apparent reason for it, so I close the site.

Ask they guy why he is asking for such private info and he responds to tell me that he does not think a person's exact location is that private, and if he really wanted it he would just use the IP address.

Like how many fucking levels of dense is that.

How to explode a .NET developer, give them this challange:

Write a method.
- I must HTTP Get any site (does not matter what), and return the result
- It must NOT be async, and must directly return the result string (No Task<string>)
- It must use HttpClient
- It must be in .Net framework 4.5 or lower
- No other nuget packages allowed

This was my job today and i want you to share my pain!

- Fuck mobile apps that open links in embedded browser windows
- Fuck Wordpress page builders that use the single content field as an embedded IDrag&DropE.
- Fuck unindented HTML markup
- Fuck plugins with "pro" versions that provide more than 50% of the advertised features.
- Fuck building an app with a SPA framework and then adding SSR cuz ur SEO is fucked.
- Fuck Javascript transitions that are meant to make a site look fancy but slow it the fuck down.

Fuck it.

Vent your frustrations

I used to work for a company that had a main website and a lightweight app. LW app was distributed to partners and added to other sites using an iframe.

Someone decided a requirement was to retain the shopping cart for anonymous users. Some dev thought the best way to do that was to issue auth cookies to anonymous users.

The auth cookie issued by the LW app was actually for the main site. A few users for LW app decided to just come to main site to make a purchase. Since they already had an auth cookie (issued from LW app), they were never prompted to log in, create an account, or use guest checkout on the main site. They were still able to complete their order and we had their shipping address, but we didn’t have their email address so we couldn’t contact them about their order.

Customer service had no way to email customers if something went out of stock or if there was a product recall. CS would have to call these customers and ask for email addresses. Good luck getting anyone to answer or return a call nowadays. Customers were asking where their confirmation email was. The admin website was polluted with “users” that had the placeholder email for non-logged in users.

This happened because of a combination of an understaffed and overextended engineering department. Of course when something goes bad it’s going to be bad.

You know how in war-zones they use children as human shields? Well, that's basically what I'm used for when the corporate executives arrive on site.
Send forward the young ones, and hope they show mercy!
So far it worked.

Doing coding from past 5 years.
Everyone treat me like regular working family member.
and then one day Dad stuck on some .gov site filling form.

He was not able to use backspace as developer forget to allow
backspace. So, I open console type the basic
document.getElementById().value = "";

Now, I am getting respect as a doctor get =_=

!rant

Just had the best moment of my career today. Myself and two of my colleagues have been working on this system (firmware, hardware, web app etc) together and after months of hard work we finally saw it all in action.

My colleague turned on a device on the web site and it updated the db, turned on a light on his board and updated the devices state on the site (we use web sockets so it's real time).

I probably haven't did it justice here but it was flipping awesome!

That moment when your mobile internet is so slow and you decide to ssh into your server and use elinks to browse the web and everybody around you is like "he's hacking" and I'm like IM JUST TRYING TO READ FUCKING NEWS BECAUSE GUESS WHO DOESNT PAY SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY FOR 1GB PER MONTH WHERE 500MB ARE USED AFTER VISITING ONE FUCKING SITE BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY DAMN ADS ON IT. I JUST WANT TO READ NEWS OR LEARN SOME C++++++++++ BUT INTERNET IS TOO SLOW TO OPEN FUCKING DDG.

Browsing the web in terminal is super nice btw. Really recommend that

God I fucking hate WordPress

Today I found out a single WooCommerce site is using 20% of database CPU (for comparison, 50 other sites use only 10% between them). Upon investigation it turns out that WooCommerce loads every single product in order to do the taxonomy count. Because the data is stored as PHP-serialised values in post meta, there's no way to do a decent "SELECT count() ... GROUP BY ...". And that code came straight from the WordPress devs, no more and no less...

Le me: writes some handy dandy software for my company

Le my colleague: goes to customer site to do some set up, wants to show customers how do some commands on my tool

Le my colleague: proceeds to open the massive manual I also wrote detailing how to use the tool, closes it immediately saying it's boring

Le my colleague: proceeds to use a very basic command incorrectly, declares it a non-working feature

Le me: ??? *head desk*

MOTHERFUCKER THERE IS EVEN A 'HELP' COMMAND THAT EXPLAINS TO YOU THE SYNTAX IN THE TOOL ITSELF.

Why do _devs_ still use shared hosting (and then bitch about it)?

"This thing won't let me use external SMTP" - "I can't use more than 2 domains for my site" - "I can't change X in PHP config" ...

You're a dev, VPS prices are pretty much on the same level as shared hosting, and setting those things up isn't exactly rocket science either.

related rant
if you do the conception of a web site in Photoshop/illustrator
and don't provide the text in a copypastable format FUCK YOU
if you use print ready images that are extra huge for web, and are of arbitrary sizes, and then placing them behind a mask FUCK YOU
also your fucking banners are square shaped , and the slider is wider than your mom,
.... man fuck this

A few weeks ago a client came to us asking for edits on their site. They had a developer in their office but they fired him a few days prior. After some looking at the piece of garbage they called a website I told my supervisors that it was built in Adobe Muse and from what I could find in a few quick searches it's shit and I didn't want to learn to use a shit tool. Apparently as a company we decided to hire a freelancer to handle this despite the fact that we didn't build the site and the client isn't paying for maintenance so I'm not sure why it's our fault.

Fast forward to today:
I've been in the office for 19 hours straight trying to learn how to use Muse and fix the client's site because somehow the freelancer managed to delete the mobile version of the site. When I ask my supervisors why I'm fixing and supporting a site we didn't build and don't have experience working in and the response is: we're presenting the client with a $50k proposal and we need all the good graces we can get.

Unless I'm gonna see some of the commission it doesn't really matter what we charge for the site, I make the same whether it's a free site or a $100k site.

- I need heat shrink tubes
- go to aliexpress, find the one set I need, order
- receive them to my PO, use a few of them

- I needed parking sensors
- to to aliexpress, find the set I need, order
- the parcel arrives in my country, on its way to my PO

- Today I visit a random site

Conclusion: AI is great at knowing what I have already bought and suggesting the exact same items I've ordered. Because if you've ordered them once you're likely to order them again, right?

Few days ago i niticed one of my (site) accounts was deleted for inactivity. I thought fuck it, ion use that site, lets have fun. I wrote an email to get it restored:

"Sorry i got ass cancer and it took dr lil pump 2 years to cure me and couldnt use the site from the hospital"

Today, i got an email that i got my account back.

Boss: Use the same template that site [X] is using for this project.
Me: [X] is WordPress. Our project is asp.Net/C#. I can't
Boss: Why?
Me: You can't put a round peg in a square hole!
Boss: Why?
Me: [thinking about mortgage] I'll do it.
Boss: Why didn't you say so in the first place?
Me: [die a little inside]

OsCommerce is literally the most awful piece of software ever. Granted, I'm migrating a version from 2007, but even still.

The admin area has a screen to set related products to a target product.

The page takes an age to load, even longer to save and is god awful to use from a UI POV.

Why may you ask?

The OsCommerce devs decided to display a flat list, which check boxes of ALL products in the database.

So for the site in question, that's a single list of 167,000 products, without pagination. Some of the worst development/design on a single page I've seen since last week when I inherited a god awful butchered Wordpress site :|

If your site only supports alpha numeric characters in my password. You should tell me that when I reset my password rather than just killing the special characters out of the string and submitting my password like that. I spent 15 minutes trying to log in before I gave up and reset it to something simple.

Also, you should let me use special characters in my password, it's 2017.

//Worst day ever.
Everything just broke today. I'm making an app for a website. Of course the site is down and it may not get back up, rendering my work useless.
I wanted to play a game this morning to relax...aaand servers down.
Later I updated the amd drivers on my laptop and now everything is just so slow that I can't use it so I'll be reinstaling windows tomorrow.
And stupid me I thought I could release the app this week.

I created some test entities specifically for our staging site. Written in all capitalized letters in the BIG TITLE of the entity I included DO NOT DELETE. This is very clearly visible in the CMS. What's the first thing the content managers do?

You guessed it.

I guess if plain English doesn't work, I'll have to use Kindergarten rules and put a custom lock on them so they can never be deleted.

Muad'Dib fullstackchris can already predict the future, in a few weeks: "hey!!!! fullstackchris, I can't delete these test entities!!!!! whats wrong with the system?!?!"

sigh...

So last night a friend randomly found a raw not-yet-installed WordPress instance on a public domain that he found on a Facebook site (it was already linked for I don't know how long, but just not installed).

He told me about it and, being the guy I am, I signed up an account on some free MySQL hosting website, set up a database and used it for that WordPress site.

I then left a kind little note on the front page for the admin telling him that I just saved his ass since others could've done the same but posted racist shit or something and, also, told him not to use WordPress.

Even though I had no bad intentions, I used proxies and VPN connectsions because you never know how these people might react.

Hopefully they'll learn from it 😇

When the marketing exec rings to tell you that they are making a new site for the company...in Wix and that they need to use flash for the "animations".

Back in 2006 I built a custom CMS for golf membership/community to manage tournament listings and registrations along with club news and social calendars. In 2008 I migrated that to Drupal 6 and continued to grow the site from there. Come 2010 I was raising flags about moving to Drupal 7. No. 2011, I recommend the move. No. 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 ...no, no, no. 2016 they complain that the site is old and they want more "management" capability (they had tons a capability). The get sold by some wizbang company and the fancy dancy CMS. I have to hear how great it is bla bla bla. That is until they start to use it. Turns out, it's not a CMS by any stretch of the imagination. They need to know HTML and a page's content in a single blob field. And content can't be repurposed across the site. I now just sit back and laugh at their pain.

If you are a web developer, consider using proper page titles.

Page titles are one of the most basic elements of a web page and yet websites often fail to make proper use of them.

Without a proper page title, your user does not have an accurate idea of what page is in the tab without having to open the tab, which gets tedious if many tabs are open. With a proper page title, an instant glance on the tab does suffice.

Some sites only put in their site name or something like "Search - Site Name" without including the search query in the page title, or "User profile - Site Name".

An example of this is, disappointingly, archive.org. As thankful as I am for the Archive, they could make better use of page titles to make browsing their library more convenient. While they use proper page titles on item pages (including both title and author!), they use non-descriptive titles on their 2023 search feature (downgraded from lightweight static HTML+AJAX to a JavaScript app) and user profile pages.

The user name of a profile or a search query and ideally a page number should be in the page title so a browser tab with a search can be found faster and can also be seen on social media sites that auto-generate preview cards with page titles.

Descriptive page titles also improve your search engine ranking! You surely don't want to miss out on that, do you?

This morning, i showed the communication manager how to use Photoshop (layer, image resize).

A year ago, I worked on the website, it has never been put online. The company's users never provided the content.

This afternoon, other people asked me where the site was, one year after!

I don't know whether to laugh of cry.

Ps : I'm sorry, my english level is low. I speak english as a cow speaks spanish.

When a customer question gets escalated all the way to the dev team when it could have easily been solved if those escalating the issue had bothered to use the site themselves

Possibly the start of a very bad adventure: I'm helping my brother-in-law set up a website for a business he'd beginning with his wife. I'll be needing to provide him a simple cms & shopping cart that he can manage. No payments as we want to just use PayPal so as to avoid having to actually manage user data & credit card information.

Wish me well....

Also advices appreciated cause otherwise, I'm gonna use a simple Drupal or WordPress site with like 1 theme and 0 plug ins.

My most successful project is unsurprisingly the first and only project I ever made public. It's a very simple TweetDeck wrapper based on Electron. It was featured on some tech site and as far as I can tell quite some people actually use it. Feels kind of nice even though I'm anxious about people hating it.

My project just went from "we can use one of those arduino boards, they are cheap and easy to use" to "we need a mass storage solution for that, maybe we can buy a shipping container and put it down on a nearby field as an on site storage". I love the things I would do if I had the resources for this kind of project!

So apparantly at the company i work at someone was able to use the remote monitoring a comptetitor set up for their automation stuff they had on the same site as we did. Apparantly they use just as shitty passwords as we do and rely on the network being secured enough by the IT guys. And since our stuff is in the same network as theirs. Well...

I found someone added a webapp I made to their site in an iframe.

The 'dark' box at the bottom of the screenshot is my webapp.

I don't really mind them iframing it. I hate adverts but I don't mind that much that they have adverts on their site.

I am very annoyed however that they have a huge overlay appearing on top telling people to turn off their ad-blocker. Also they use alert() to tell people to share their site on social media!

Being told to turn off my ad-block and having to close alert popup boxes are two of my most hated things.

So now I made a little update to my site so their visitors will see a nice little song playing.

So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.

We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.

So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.

Guess what it is...

nah you won't

ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?

Does anyone know good tools to use for designing a site? Like I'm good a developing but I suck when it comes to designing :/

I had to use XSS (cross site scripting) and tag injection to change one tiny CSS property on a bug tracker site where I have no actual file access and can only add custom footer text. Why not just give me file access, or at least some way to customise the CSS, you stupid thing!

There is a new phishing site going around called "rogstrike.com" that is being spread by Steam DMs.

Infected asks victim to "vote for their team" and in order to do that, you need to login with steam. The steam login part is sketchy af, litterally spawns a fake new window in the same tab. Doesn't matter what OS you use, it's always Win 10 styled. Lol.

I reported on twitter and via email, i'll see what they will do.

This app seems to be mostly web developers so I have a question that will either spark interesting discussion or a blood curdling flame war. Either way:

I'm trying to build a blog site for myself. I'm not a web developer, for the most part I write C software, but I have written web software before. I want to write it, not use a CMS. What are some techniques and tools I should be aware of, so I don't break my keyboard in frustration?

We were forced by the enterprise architect team (people that knows almost nothing about web development) to use EdgeIPK an application technology that renders html-js-css using a designer mode to produce a cutting edge web site.

After 8 months of headaches and the resignation of the EdgeIPK web developer consultant we rewrote the entire thing with something else.

This pic is from my class messenger group.
Translation:

Dear teacher! Our group have chosen another web builder for the project, we hope it's not a problem...

Yeah, I use templates which I can copy code from to my group's site, but for the love of *!#* life I consider myself a noob beginner even tough I've been in this field for a year or two now but I can code with more confidence now. What the hell are these people going to do if they only willing to rely on school and wix...

But I can always be wrong, these are just my thoughts.

Last week all the sites I'm hosting started acting real strange... Nothing made sense.

One site gave an error telling me that the database couldn't write to disk "insufficient space"...

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

Turns out indexing 14TB of data kinda makes mlocate use a lot of space...

Excluded one folder, optimized the db and voila, from 17GB to less than 1GB...

Not fully supported anything below IE11 since january. Surprisingly very few questions, negative feedback or negative impact on site traffic. Just pure joy at work. "Caniuse? - Yes, you can use."

When your plugins list in your newly "coded" WordPress site could use an infinity loader, that means you are probably​ one of those fucking two weeks fucking coding bootcamps miracles. Fuck, that's not how the website is done...

I fucking told them that yes, i can do frontend but im in no way expert, so dont expect much.

"Yeah, cool, use angular"

I was full of questions and tried to reason with them that angular is literally just an unnecessary load and would slow the development down (its a really simple site).

"No, use angular"

Ok fine whatever. So i built the site, it was ugly as fuck, half the functionality was hacked in with jquery because i have no idea how these fucked up frameworks work (or apparently dont work) when i realized that i get jackshit from the backend.

Turns out most of the json responses were totally disregarding the json standard, like {1: tag0},{2: tag1}, where a json arrat should have been used. The other half was xml. Yeah. Also of course they used spring so the backend took like 3 months where it could have been done in like 2 weeks.

> Sorry, you have not updated your browser this week. Please update your browser to use our site.

*user tries to update browser*

> Sorry, your operating system is no longer supported. Please upgrade your operating system to install this update.

*user tries to update operating system*

> Sorry, your device is no longer supported. Please buy a new phone to use this operating system.

*buys new phone*

> Pay! Pay! Pay! Consoooom!

————

See where this is going? It is thinly-veiled planned obsolescence.

Me: ill use media queries to make our site responsive (site is not responsive before i got here)
Me: code ...
Me: code ...
Me: done, created a PR
Senior: review... removes all the code and media queries and said. We dont have to use media queries because bootstrap is already responsive.

- BULLSHIT! We still need media queries!!!!!

My friend had this screen saver or have "hacker type" site opened, with a hoodie on, so that no one can suspect him sleeping. Hahah Any tips for him to use in the future?

ARGH!
Since that privacy cookie policy change thingy, every goddamn site pops up the dialog asking about it.

I just want to fucking read the page, quickly; get off my screeeeeeen!

There should be a standard to add something that lets the browser tell the page if you accept cookies or not, and which options to use; or at least make all the sites use a specific attribute for the elements of the div, so it can be automated (I know this is a dream).

Have you ever use the offline mode in chrome or set the data downloading and uploading speed.
It is the great feature in chrome. In that way you easily develop your offline site. Without disconnecting your LAN or Wifi connection.

Best way to develop offline site for developers.

So my friend wanted a website, and I was kinda busy, so I asked him to find a web host. Five minutes later he comes back asking to use Tor and to make a .onion site. He said they're "secure and all the rave" nowadays. He was shocked to learn that most .onion sites are illegal and that Tor is a web browser to reach those illegal sites. I still make fun on him.

Here at the client site everyone uses Windows 7, since this is not an IT firm. They make jewellery. So I don't blame them.
The problem is their in house dev team are also forced to use Windows.

Today someone from their dev team was with me for a new project. Their senior guy sent us a mail mentioning that the project code is on AWS EC2 instance and we will have to SSH to see it.
I checked the code on my MacBook with SSH and copied it to local using SCP. The dev guy was seeing it in amazement. I asked, what's it?

He just asked, "You don't have to use PUTTY" 😮

I smirked 😏

So I work in a web development company in my town and have been doing a while or heap of parallax sites for our clients. Now obviously when we do the designs we get them in and get them to play around with the site before we go ahead and push their new site out and make it live right.

Wellll who would of thought that a simple parallax site would be so hard to use for the general user??? Recently we have been getting the occasional call where the client is getting complaints about the site only being a big ole image or just one block of text. After investigating why their site was broken or why the users weren't able to see the whole site I came across no problems at all.

Today I got a call from the client who instructed me that after explaining to one of his own clients that he had to scroll down the page that everything was just fine!

I mean, what? How do you miss the big ole scroll bar on ya screen or even think to even attempt to scroll? Some people aye lmao

> finds awesome front-end design software
> build a decent layout
> adds Phalcon stuff (started to use that a few days ago, works really nicely, just don't like the ORM as much as Propel2)
> software can no longer display the site layout properly

FML

My company provides its services as web pages and web services to our customers.

Once a year we update the certificate used for the https connections.

I notified the update to the clients that use the web services.

One of them asked me a copy of the public key.

No problem. Open the web site with the browser, save the key and send by email.

One day later the client asked me the public key in a zip file because the anti virus blocked my attachment.

Why the client hates the Chain of Trust ?
He could obtain the public key by them self from the browser or openssl.

Well, I only worked with two designers so far. The first one was incredibly competent and a nice guy. The second one however...not so much.

He wanted me to change the background of his website to a specific pattern. It was a pattern that easily could have been used as repeated background.

So I asked for a single pattern in PNG format.

Guy refuses to give it to me and forces me to use a 4k image as background.

BOI WHAT

PAGESPEED LITERALLY RATES THE SITE 30/100 BECAUSE THE IMAGE TAKES SO FUCKING LONG TO LOAD
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

At NYU doctor's office that forces me to register a temp account to use their WiFi.

I get an email saying my medical records have changed so I try logging into the site to check.

Site can't be accessed on the network..,

I see a lot of talk about complex numbers, and yet
for all they are worth, I have not once been
able to find an explaination on how to calculate
them by hand, namely the real component.
For example
(-5)**0.5
(1.3691967456605067e-16+2.23606797749979j)

2.23606 is obviously just the square root of 5, but where the hell did 1.369 come from?

Apparently no one fucking knows, and no site I've found gives a simple explanation for someone new to math in general.

"use a calculator", "hit a button",

How about no.

When you want to move your site off of jQuery, but all the dependencies still use jQuery.

Also screw those services that write their client code with jQuery. Screw you all!

Updated my personal site to use bulma CSS framework last night. Pushed it all up, then realised github pages doesn't do npm install before it builds the site. So there was no CSS for a bit.

The only way around was to commit node modules folder to git repo. Feels wrong but better than having no CSS.

I guess that's what happens when you use a free service 😁

Hello everyone.
So, i am thinking about where to get lists of programming languages, frameworks and softwares that is fundamental. For example:
If i would like to develop a web site. I would use html, css, js & php. Maybe a site or frameworks for reference and 'roadmap'. I want to become a good programmer.

I got a contract with this schools to build a student portal,

I do all the needful and the project whatever guy insists that I use their current shared hosting to host this MERN stack application.

first of all, cPanel is my least favorite place when it comes to deploying, I actually dont do deploying I just hand it over to whoever is the IT guy there.

I discovered there's no provision for nodejs in their current plan, I go through all the stress of contacting the shitty customer support and the process of squeezing out useful information from them.

I'm only doing this because the project whatever has refused to pay me until their site is deployed. throughout the process of creating this project I had setup continous deployment on heroku and netlify and I had to beg this guy to look at the changes and review them.

well, today I asked the former guy that built the current site for the login details to the schools dashboard on the hosting providers site and he says he used his personal details for it, according to him projects from other organizations are there too.

I swear I'm going to loose my shit, freelancing sucks

Just signed up for this site, took me three minutes to figure out how to post a rant.

Do the designers know what a call to action is? Where in this screenshot tells me "post a rant here" or "click here to write your first" or "new rant" or even a plus symbol, pencil, paper, or any sort of symbology?

Nope. It's in a vague, almost invisible menu with a symbol of three dots that usually means "things you don't normally use might be in here". The main function of the site. Tucked away where nobody can see it.

Bad UX has no excuse in 2020.

Why are there barely any material design based static site libraries using js and CSS -,-

Don't use node or anything so guess I'll be building my own 😁🔫

Can we please make a Over Engineered Section....

This happened a couple of weeks ago...
Hey platform engineer team, we need a environment spun up, it's a static site, THATS IT!

PE Team response.. okay give us a 2 weeks we need to write some terraform, update some terraform module, need you to sign your life away as the aws account owner, then use this internal application to spin up a static site, then customize the yml file to use nuxt, then we will need you to use this other internal tool to push to prod...

ME: ITS a static site... all I need is a s3 bucket, cloudfront, and circleci

God damn I hate that "smart" and "convenient" autoscrolling to focus areas which has kind of exploded on webpages, most of the time just fucking the user over while one is trying to read something or generally use the site.
Pages bouncing all over with shitty response, who the fuck thought that were a great idea, they should've been put in the ground as a Thank you.

...just download our new app! NO! FUCK YOU! What do you think you deserve storage space and permissions on my phone? Make a responsive site or webapp or I will not use your service. Why does everything need a fucking app? Oh, you bought a new car? Download an app! New appliance? DOWNLOAD A FUCKING APP! Just bought a new Samsung phone, but already use all of Googles empireware? WELL HERE IS ANOTHER CALENDAR/MAIL/EVERYTHING APP FROM SAMSUNG THAT YOU CAN'T COMPLETELY DELETE! This needs to stop.
/rant
Thank you for listening

Most commerce site are actually disgusting with how much screen real estate taken up by navbars and useless options.

People visit for the content and products yet they make it so hard to fucking use. Those sites deserve a lack of online sales.

Salespeople telling clients "Your site doesn't need a privacy policy/cookie policy since you don't actually sell anything on your site."

Wrong wrong wrong WRONGITY WRONG WROOONNGGGG!!!!!

Client to PM to me: "Well Jim said we don't need those on this site."

Me: "Well Jim is misinformed, since we use Google analytics, Facebook Pixel, and contact forms, you need to have both a privacy and cookie policy."

PM to client: "We'll find you a template you can use to get started, it'll cover most of what you need."

Me to PM: "we will do no such thing, we can send them a few links explaining why they need these, but they should consult a legal professional and cover their asses for their own business practices. I can provide any technical details they may need like what data the cookies collect if necessary."

PM to me: "well I'll just find something for them then."

*In my head* please just go crawl in a hole and die.

Backstory:
The webpage for (basically) the only movie theater chain is slow. The app, goddamn, is worse.

So I made an app to scrape the data and save it in a SQLite db for my use. However, there is one theater which doesn't belong to the same company. So I decided to also include it in the app.

But it sucks! I still have to find a way to automatically get the data from their shitty site.

Dell is such awful machine to use with ubuntu even it was officially ubuntu installed machine it has so much issues and my work is suffering because of this machine which costs me 70k PKR. Having 8gb ram 500hdd, core i3 processor 4th gen.
I'm suffering from wifi getting disconnected time to time I couldn't find help on ubuntu forms nor on official dell site
I guess both sucks pretty bad

will atleast never buy dell machine again nor with stupid ubuntu os just

Sometimes I want to go against my ethics principle and just use my skills to create a PONZI website or a scam site. I am a full stack developer, I can create one within two months.
However the financial strain I am having, I just want to so good 🤦‍♂️

"The site could really use some more UX if it's going to be responsible design"

I build my friend's pc
He didn't had windows
The site where we bought the oem license was messed up
and yes... I had to use teamviewer to disable his adblocker...
Oh, and 12 hours later to activate windows...
And yes, it was me spending 10 minutes on the phone to acivate his windows key since we got a already used license...
Adding it up, including the whatsapp remote support, If I would st art charing I would get rich...

CTO at my previous company think that wordpress based website is took a long time to load.
I suggest to use caching and fix ton of abusive query, He refused. He spun up more VM, upgrade the ec2 instance level to the max. Said that he resolved the problem. But the problem still persist actually.
Blame me for slow response website, blame me for late of deployment because data is not ready ( there's a lot of spam in there, we need to clean it before )
I left the company, Coworker said that he just install a bunch of caching plugin,
He made the website down for entire day and don't understand what is happening. Ask other developer to fix it quickly, to do unpaid overime
The site is back to bussiness, said to all team that he already fixed it.
Everything good happened, he claimed that it was his idea.

And the best part is : he put 'ssh' as skill list in his personal site

Teammate sends me the site logo in messenger with white background to use it in production...

I got my domain from Swisscom (Switzerlands "T-Mobile") Every damn time I try to renew/adjust the domain it feels like I have to search for the fucking Higgs Boson. Searching for it on DDG only yields wrong results. Domains are hidden deep within the business part of their homepage. Their buisness site barely mentions domains, the login is somehow tied to an account you would normally use in combination with your phone number which only adds more to the confusion and the whole domain thing seems to be a shitty frontend coverup of someone elses service.

I work in a company, where prototypes become instantly a product... People are far from being an expert in the technologies we use (technologies which were chosen by management without any further research).

Timeframes are more than short, so there is no chance to learn what you need to know to be able to create something really maintainable and stable.

Guess what - that shit is going to be installed at the customer site, where neither we nor them know what to fucking do if something breaks ...

great

So I have to build a frikkin site builder at work. It's supposed to run in the browser. Anyone has any good advice on how I should approach this? Should I use an already present library like GRAPESJS, or should I build it from scratch?

I dislike Google page speed. I understand their intention but sometimes it's just stupid, like inclining critical CSS and loading in the rest of the CSS using JavaScript.

What happens if the user has JavaScript disabled? They get a half rendered site they can't use that looks broken, but hey, at least the crappy site loads quickly.

Ironically, Stack Overflow is probably the site that is down the most out of any site I use.

So I was searching how to speedup my page speed of site which is built on Codeigniter and despite minified css and js I read this:
" CI active records are garbage, use classic quries"
:'( I used active records all over my app

A Twitter API issue is allowing people to (once again) bootloop iPhones and iPads with the text parser. This was just submitted to Twitter's staff, I don't see anyone talking about it yet. Disable notifications or uninstall and use the mobile site.

devrant.io a site designed for developers and aimed at a platform they don't use for rants.

The desktop website is a quick bodge of a job, but they spent allot of time on the mobile app instead...
I would of thought that devs would prefer to write their messages on keyboard since it is second nature to most.

Correct me if I am wrong, but has no one else thought about this? I mean the web app is literally just a letter box view so that the format is the same as mobile...

Today at a friends graduation party I met her father(retired aged). He asked me what I do and I told him I am in web development. He says, 'I can't remember the name of the site but it's for looking up recipes. I don't like it because it's not very easy to use. Is that your fault?' Implying that because I work in web I am responsible for all poorly designed websites.... Awesome!

Can anyone recommend a good free blogging site?

Was going to use wordpress but im not paying 130 AUD just to map it to a sub domain.

Blogger has very few options when it comes to themes and custom themes.

And tumblr... Is tumblr (I was using it but decided to rid myself of such filth)

Why do people hate wordpress so much? It honestly fucks me off the amount of hate it gets and I honestly get a little triggered when people give me the "aww people who use Wordpress aren't real web devs" comment? Like fuck off i use Wordpress to make using a site more easy for my clients you daft cunt. 😩

Some staff couldn’t access some admin pages and they thought it was a permissions error. Um, no. Chrome is showing you an “aw snap” error page, which means it’s a problem with the site and not your access. The pages are querying too much data and it’s causing an operation timeout. It’s been like this for months but no one reported it. Did they not need to use these pages at all for these past months? Non technical people keep doings things that make me want to smack my head against my desk. FTR these issues existed before I started.

Why do Apple have to hide the ”request desktop version” button behind the refresh button on the Ipad?

I get Idea. They problably thought it like you refresh as desktop site. But it took me ages to find out how to request desktop site!

Why cant it just be like chrome and have the settings and tools behind a menu where everything is.

And this is just one of many of Apple products flaws! Shame on you Apple!

If you wonder why i even use a ipad it’s because it’s a school ipad that is locked so we cant install apps.

I'm an old school programmer, I remember coding in BASIC, ASP, and such languages, I made a streaming site in PHP, that I could use when going to parties and their music sucked, I phoned BBS computers, I document took forever to download.. Still I'm searching for a job in IT, I wonder how that will go :S

I want to start a new website that I can use as a hub for all my side projects.

Will double as a portfolio site but mostly it will just let me share my ideas with friends.

I wanna rewrite a small php site with a microframework. So far, I've found Silex and Lumen an interesting choice, but I can't decide which one to go with, since both are new to me. Though I'm using Symfony a lot and haven't use Laravel yet and these micro ones are their lite editions, I'd choose Silex but Lumen seems better at first glance, so I'm uncertain. Which one do you suggest?

DevRant-Stats Site Update:
Added a minified version of devBanner now. Might not be interesting to use for everybody, but it was fun to implement!
Also check out CozyPlanes, the creator of devBanner!

Have fun!

My first job wasn't as good as i hoped to be.
I had to do a content update to a overly plugined worpress site.
But non of my collegues could give me the code for the site to actually do something. I only could use the wordpress admin page.

My colleagues had to use a shitty php framework which was developed by an other company. They were so stressed..
After i talked to them they told me that everyone wants to leave the company.
And the boss was an arrogant asshole.

I left after a weak.

That moment you underestimated a local company site from using APIs. So you manually collect the data by scraping the HTML. But months later learn that they DO in fact use APIs.

🙃

Trying to get some cool project for fun using CSS framework. Don't want to use bootstrap. What's fancy yet powerful for a basic HTML/CSS site maybe with some jQuery/JS?

We once had to make another wordpress multilanguage site on a different domain but it should use the whole footer from previous site full with its images and sitemaps. The client said "just make it look like a copy of a footer". This would require us to copy the whole footer for 4 different languages every time somebody makes a change in the original site.

So the workaround we did in the end was to make a specific page in original wordpress site which only returns the footer.

In the new wordpress site we made a code which scrapes that whole page and puts its contents on the footer of the new wordpress site.

It worked perfectly and we never needed to copy the whole footer again because it was "dynamic".

Does anyone interact with posts by linkedin "influencers" or recruiters that isn't an "influencer" or recruiter themselve?

Do people exist that actually use linkedin as a social media site?

I'm looking for collaborators for a site I'm making in laravel for my dad's apple/produce orchard business. I've pretty much have finished front end design but could use help in the back end development. I can't really pay anyone right now because I'm broke but it's more resume material and you would be helping a brother out so anyone interested let me know:)

Asked our developers to build a site framework that can scale globally for all our brands.

Tell them to start with these 3 brands

They tell me they will use Drupal for the base, fair enough, i did pick them as they listed ex extensive drupal skills on their resume

Let them work on it, then time comes to deliver and I get handed 3 completely separate drupal sites that are just simply 3 individual commerce Kickstart sites with some really bad themes applied.

Asked what the fuck this is and get told that 'multi-site was too difficult and' is still a goal platform /framework​ because you can run multiple Drupal sites on one server.'

These people were hired and their resumes said things like' drupal multi-site developer'

Needless to say I get to hire the devs now.

Me: *Building my own CSS and JS framework for static websites and testing it as i go while building my work site*

Inner me: Stop remaking the wheel, use MDL!

Me: *Starts sweating furiously*

Why must JS and CSS be so bloody horrible to build with from scratch, should I just use MDL and extend it with some custom classes or keep powering forward?

We're hiring managers and engineers at a remote site, and the recruiter is setting up calls with skype for business. To use this-- even the web version, I have to run windows, so I had to dust off my windows VM to join. I fire up the VM, called "plague" in virsh, and...

Boom! An hour of updates and a half dozen reboots! And people wonder why windows is dying.

The new twitter developer stuff is SHIT.

I need to apply now for my small app I use wanted to build this evening as an automation site project. Can't you cunts just give me access to this api so I can finish my projects.

How the fuck should I describe in 300 characters THAT I WILL BE TWEETING ONE TWEET PER WEEK NOTIFYING ABOUT A NEW EPISODE.

Now I need to fill 80 more characters with some dumb stuff just to be able to apply.....

I finally managed to get my Wireguard setup to work in both ways! Beforehand I could ping from A to B, but not the other way around.

A network 10.1.0.0/16
B network 10.2.0.0/16
(both actually use multiple /24 subnets, but I reserve a /16 for each site for the sake of simplicity)

Lots of fiddling later this is my configuration:
A interface 10.1.199.1/32
A allowedIPs 10.2.0.0/16
B interface 10.2.199.1/32
B allowed IPs 10.1.0.0/16

ping from 10.1.1.1 to 10.2.1.1 => 172ms
ping from 10.2.1.1 to 10.1.1.1 => 172ms

it works, yay! now to add more sites...

I made a big project on a personal web site. I send form to people to know the future community.
During one month, make it and a friend tell me :
'' For your big project you can use Laravel or symphony, that's be useful for you, but this is heavy to learn ''.
I tried 2 days and stop it...
This is so different... But that could be very cool to know it, I think...

I have a question for you :
Does I have to continue learn it? This is very important to know it?

Ps: I programm in php/pdo and mysql ans some js

Today I made a php script to scrap a site.
And I needed to use str_replace in a string to cancel out some values.

Instead of doing simple str_replace I used explode func to separate them with spaces (without any comments on how or why the fuck I m using an explode instead of a str_replace).

Later, I used $p[1] for further processing.

JQuery is not badly designed... It's not designed at all.

JQuery is just awful and it's being used by people who know nothing about programming... Hell, some of the JQuery developers were not even programmers or had programmed before.

JQuery is a part of the whole "Wordpress community/world" and that world is full of people who doesn't understand what they are doing, Wordpress isn't designed either (that's why Wordpress stores serialized data in a structured database).

Every single Wordpress theme developer includes JQuery and it's disgusting. Most of the time, they don't even use it.

JQuery is not Javascript on steroids, it's javascript with cancer. Get rid of it. It's bloated and only lazy people use it. (JQuery will give you about 200ms extra response time for your site)