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Search - "what have you done?"
-
My GF just selected all files on her harddrive and clicked "Open".
The look at her face when she figured out what she have done.
BONUS: She restarts her computer, and upon start she selects Yes to the "Your computer shutdown unexpected, would you like to re-open the applications" popup 😂12 -
New kid came to me in my break (while I was playing LoL) saying I should start coding (he had no clue what my role within the company is).
Said that if I won't get a career in league, I could just (as if it's done in a few minutes) learn coding and make a website with thousands of users (as if that is just done like 1 2 3).
Then with a big grin on his face he proceeded to say "if you ever have some issues with making websites, I could just come to him and he can teach me the basics of Javascript, HTML, CSS and PHP".
So I said: "and who are you?"
He told me his name and what he is going to do within the company.
So I said with a big grin on my face: "Ah, so you're the new kid the boss told me about, nice to meet you, from today on, I'll be your Senior."
I then saw his big grin disappear
then with a big smile on my face I proceeded to say: "If you ever have some issues, please come to see me and I'll be happy to teach you the basics of Javascript, HTML, PHP and CSS"
Then he walked away :^)26 -
This was during the first day of my first real dev job, straight out of college. I didn’t have have much experience with version control since I did mostly solo projects in college, and I wasn’t exposed to SVN or Git in school at all.
One of the senior devs was going to give me and another new guy a brief overview of the codebase. He sets us up with the GitHub repo for the codebase and tells us to clone the codebase locally. I didn’t really know what this meant but I felt kind of embarrassed to ask, so I just clicked “download as zip” on The GitHub repo.
After a minute he saw what I had done and was like “yeah, that’s not what you want to do” and showed me how to clone it. I was kind of embarrassed but I learned Git pretty quickly after that.
I don’t really have a moral to this story except that “no question is a stupid one” is much easier said than done for many people, and it can be embarrassing to ask certain questions sometimes.8 -
Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?
Me: sure, of course.
Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.
Me: ... wait, then it's not done.
Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.
Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.
Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.
Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.
Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.
Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.
Dev: I don't.
Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.
Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.
Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.
Dev: but it is done.
Me: no it's not.
Dev: it is, look.
Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.
Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?
Me: are you going to make more changes?
Dev: yes.
Me: then no.
Dev: why?
Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.
Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.
Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....
Dev: but I am happ.....
Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.
Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.
Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.
Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.
Me: there you go.32 -
Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF
Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF
Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi
Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???
Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*13 -
You have done a great job!! Thanks for delivering the project on time. It is exactly what I asked for. I will ask for no changes and I will pay you right away.
Said no client ever.3 -
When I was a kid, I used Dreamweaver and my mother would watch me doing things and she used to say "Oh, my dear there are lots of icons and buttons!!! How do you manage that? How do you know which one is for what purpose? You are really brilliant."
And now I use Atom IDE and she says "This looks very easy. Technology has evolved so much that you don't have to click so many buttons and just write simple lines, just as simple as writing letters and the software does the rest of the things. These softwares have done a brilliant job."
Seriously the technology has changed (and my mother too) !!!12 -
#thread
Any Home Assistant fans out there? Got myself a RPi3 a few months ago and got hooked on HA, because of the huge product support and great community. Didn't find any dashboards that I liked so created my own, written in JS, fully customisable and support for most if not all kinds of gadgets. The purpose was to have something easy to use for the whole family, on a wall-mounted tablet. What do you guys think?
Anyways, has anyone done some cool home automations/scripting? Would love to hear about it!77 -
Prospective client: “I have a website through which I sell music, both physical copies and downloads, but am having all kinds of issues with it”.
Me: “Like what? Tell me more.”
Client: “Go to www... I’ll go through them with you”.
So I go, and client proceeds to rattle off a list of totally random shit for the next 26 and a half minutes without even stopping for breath, telling me what he’d prefer, talking through how easy other “similar” websites are and comparing his own website to them, as well as all the things that flat out just don’t work. He ended with the line “I just paid my developer who told me it was all good, but now he’s telling me he’s too busy to work on it”.
Meanwhile I’ve had a gander at “view source” and can see it’s been “built” with Wordpress, and with a fuck ton of plugins and shit to boot... you can only imagine the sense of euphoria I’m feeling at this point.
Me: “Did you have a contract with your developer?”
Client: “Nah”.
Me: “Do you have a budget in mind, either for just making right or for ongoing development?”
Client: “Yes, but minimal”.
Me: “So what do you want from me?”
Client: “I want to know how much it’s going to cost to fix!!!!” (apparently irritated by my question).
Me: “Oooook... Is there any way I can have access to your website to investigate, or clone it so I can recreate what’s going on?”
Client: “Yes” (gives me details of how to log in to his hosting, and WP admin).
Turns out, he had over 50 active plugins for literally EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. PIECE of functionality on his website. Furthermore, it was pretty clear that some plugin functionality overlapped, because... well, if you don’t know how to do something, install a plugin or seven to get it done, right?
Me: “So can I ask, what exactly is your budget? Just to give me ballpark as to how best move forward?”
Client: After going into how he’s already spent a lot of money on it already, “If we could we agree on below £200?”
Me: “...what, a month?”
Client: “No! In total. To make it right. Once it’s done it’s done, surely?!?!”
*a long silence*
Client: “So... what do you think?”
Me: “Burn it. Burn it all down”.8 -
Here's a recent interview I had for an Android Developer job:
I: Interviewer, M: Me
I: hello, welcome
M: hi, thanks
I: do you know Kotlin?
M: yes, I've been working with it for 1.5 years and have written 3 projects in it
I: do you know RxJava, Dagger, Retrofit, and how to make Custom Views?
M: yes, I'm comfortable with them *explains*
I: do you know Room?
M: yes I do, I've done a lot of practices in it, but unfortunately have never needed to use it in production
I: what architecture do you use? Do you know MVP?
M: I'm currently using MVVM, but not MVP. I've debugged projects in it so I know what's going on in it
I: ok, do you have any questions for us?
M: how did I do?
I: I'm sorry sir, but you're not even a junior here
M: what? Why is that?
I: well you don't know Room and MVP?
M: I said I know them, just haven't used them in production.
I: well you have 3 years of experience but you dont even know Kotlin!
M: Kotlin was your first question and I said I have 3 projects in it. Did you even check the samples you asked for in the job posting?
I: SIR YOU'RE NOT A GOOD FIT FOR US, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
:/56 -
//Long rant
[Boss man]: Hey, we need you to build us a web app.
[Me]: Okay, what do you need it to do?
[Boss man]: We need staff to be able to login from anywhere, create new appointments, check room availability, display live times for the rooms, schedule future appointments, record all the data as stats and export the stats to (email address).
[Me]: Okay, sounds useful, anything else?
[Boss man]: we also need it to send all relevant data to a calendar where certain staff will be notified by email of events.
[Me]: Okay... I'll get right on starting this.
[Boss man]: So you can have it done by the end of the day? (4 hours from this time)
[Me]: *Internal screaming* *WHAT THE FUCK* Uhm, no, I don't think that is possible to complete in a four hour period by myself.
[Boss man]: Okay, well by tomorrow then, I'm leaving for the day though, have a good one.
[Me]....
//End long rant12 -
My job requires us to use Mac. I've spent the week figuring how to get stuff done on it.
My best description of trying to code on mac is that it's kinda like having to extract your mangled penis from a blender before you bleed to death... Except you can't look directly at it, you have to wear a VR headset that's linked to a camera in the corner of the room.
And you can't use your hands directly you have to use an incredibly stylish and ergonomic looking steering wheel to control a robotic arm. The robotic arm has its own artificial intelligence and it desperately wants to help.
Unfortunately it doesn't understand anything about what you're trying to do and it keeps leaping to incorrect conclusions about what you want from it.
Everyone tells you it'll get better, but you're still in intense pain and your penis is still stuck in the blender.28 -
Me (5 days ago): A major, life-threatening hurricane is coming. I need to prepare. I know you have a need to launch so I will do my best to finish your project.
Client: Ok, stay safe.
Client (today): I know you're not done. You're late actually. To provoke you into further action, we went ahead and announced the launch and people will begin using the website now.
Me (at the store buying food for the next two week): What in the actual ... Here is your code. Finish it yourself. May God have mercy on your cold, dark soul.7 -
My company contracted a 3rd party to do an internal system for us...
We only knew about it when it was almost done and we got the code... Oooooo boy.... What a fucking shit they did and got paid for...
They have a encryptPassword() and decryptPassword() functions...
What they do you may ask?
Well...
Encrypt: for loop that reverse the string and base64 it 5 times...
Decrypt: the opposite...
That's how they store passwords....
Our intern snapped at a company meeting when they where talking about maintaining it 😂😂22 -
Manager: Oh my god have you heard of libraries? I don’t even need to hire developers anymore, everything can just be done with code other people have already built for free
Dev: Well you actually cause a bit of technical debt when you use an abstrac—
Manager: EVERY TICKET SHOULD BE DONE USING LIBRARIES GOING FORWARD.
Dev: …This is going to implode…Can we at least fund some of the libraries we end up using?
Manager: WHAT? NO! Open source developers are suckers, what idiot puts code on the internet for free?? I shouldn’t be required to fund their stupidity. Let’s just take their stuff and make money with it.
Dev: *Phone rings 100th time today from recruiter*. One sec I have to take this call……It’s urgent.13 -
"You need a website, why not do it yourself?"
NO FUCK YOU WIX. I HAVE DONE IT MYSELF AND I BET YOU USE WEEBLYS WEBSITE BUILDER FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING HOME PAGE. YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL DO IT MYSELF.
*opens code.org*4 -
Someone Asks me : "Will programmers be needed in the future if AI is already created code?"
Your question clearly tells one thing; you have no idea what programing is about and how it is done.
For starters, software already writes code. In every major codebase there are lots of files with auto-generated code. Auto-generated code is something a program have written to provide interface to a service for the rest of the codebase. So code already writes code - if the purpose of the code is clearly defined.
The problem is that users rarely know what they actually want, and even if they know it, they are rarely capable of creating a clear enough specification of what they want.21 -
One of the linux engineers gets up with: 'I'm sorry, I just pushed a windows server sale to the sales guy :/'
Linux engineer 1: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE D:
Linux engineer 2: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT @_@
Linux engineer 3: Why the FUCK would we want to manage yet another piece of problems?!
Engineer who said it: 'But it's still a sale guys....'
All engineers: THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE O_o
😆35 -
Thursday
PM: Hey why is A delayed? It should be top priority.
me: I just completed B, and C which were also top priority but got scheduled earlier, so I thought they..
PM: Agh, yes. But can you then finish A by the end of week? it would be very important!
me: No, I unfortunately don't think I'd have enough time by the end of wee..
PM: Why? This should be *the* top priority task. You should not start other tickets before A is done.
me: Exactly. But I *just* started. And. I. don't. have. enough. free. hours. left. this. week.
PM: But why?!
me: So just on Friday I have these 5 meetings here..
*shows calendar*
PM: Ok... OK! Then don't attend those before you are done. This should be more important.
me: Ugh, oh-key...are you sure?
PM: Yea, just let who invited you know that you can't attend and feel free to cc me in, I'll explain A is most important atm.
me: Ok, thanks, but that won't be necessary.
PM: What? Why?
me: You invited me to the Friday meetings.
Obviously I had to attend all 5 meetings today and A is pushed back to next week. :)10 -
Mom : there's a letter for you. It's from USA. Are you in trouble ?
Me : oooouh shit what have I done ?
Fiuuuuu..NSA still not tracking my buggy code 😂9 -
There once approached me a client, with a request to be done. Here is a recap, with emphasis on time limits.
C: Ok, so we need this and this thing to be done that and that way...
*short talk about technical side of the project, unimportant to the rant*
C: Can it be done by 25th, this month? (It was 4th of the month)
M: No way, it'll take at least a week more, so realistically I'd say around 7th next month.
C (Had no option but to agree on the date)
*we arrange the price as well (was not a bad one at all)*
So I started working on the thing and one night, about a week or so in, I probably had a cup of tea too much, I suddenly have a breakthrough. I sat behind a computer from 22:00 till 17:00 next day, nonstop. I didn't even eat anything in the meantime. The project was far from done, but I did quite a lot of work. Anyhow, when I have completed the project, not only was I not over the deadline, it was 22nd of the month, so even before the wanted time! When I contacted the client and told him that I am done, he was ... let's just say very happy. The deployment went fine, but when I checked my bank account, for the payment, there was a surprise waiting for me. The number was 25% more than what we have arranged! Me, believing that it was a mistake, immediately messaged him about it and he responded:
No, this is just a small gift for you, because you finished that quickly.
(and not to forget, I have coded things for way less than those 25% and was completely fine with the price, so it was not a small amount)6 -
My very first meeting with a new client:
Client: We need to launch in 6 weeks. Do you think you can hit that deadline?
Me: Do you have a spec for what needs to be done?
Client: No we don't.
Me:3 -
So I was hired about 4 months or so in this companty, we will name it 'Derp & Co.'
The first task they want me to do was to 'clean' an android app that, for what they told me:
- Previous dev fired. said that tasks have been done but totally a lie.
- Took a fully week of 2 fellows coworkers to 'undo' the mess.
- And for the last but not least, zero documentation, like ZERO.
So, I clone the repo, install android studio, blah blah blah, get hands to the pile of code and jesus...
- The whole app was working with a gargantuan json, there was no use of POJOs at all. Objects are for normies.
- A masive copy/paste code, like 'I will need this here, crtl-c... ctrl-v, DONE!'
- Threads are free, isn't it? let's just put a thread whenever I desire to make an HTTP request and not reuse code at all.
So... with this on mind, my first task is to make proper objects:
- Coworker: 'Sorry dev, we don't have documentation for this, you must debug the code to se what the server will send to you'.
- Me: 'Real?'
Shit... ok. So I first try to figure out how the hell is made my gargantuan json. A month was entirely lost to unravel this data and implement Objects, improve their code, reuse code, etc. but at the very end:
- coworker: 'Good job dev, when the POJOs are done, we can focus on the next task, whe have to define a new DATA MODEL because the one we are using now is not good at all'.
*note: the app is on production and working with all the previous 'features' and today it still on use on some enviroments.
- Me: 'Wait... this is a joke, now you want to define new data models? This should have been done in first place!' <WTF face>
- Coworker: 'I don't think so dev, Mr. boss have this list with things to improve on the app an this is the order of do the tasks'.
Mr. boss is on vacations, two days after he came back:
- Mr boss: 'Coworker said that you have been working with POJOs, is that right?'
- Me: 'Yes'
- Mr boss: 'Why? Did not see the need of a new data model?'
- Me: 'I told that to him, but he insist on "the order" of the list.
- Mr. boss <facepalm>
This is one of the few tales i have from 'Derp & Co.'
PS: Sorry if i made a mistake on writing, english is not my first language and maybe I have done some mistakes.7 -
Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with
Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent6 -
Client: [sends design as a tiny, badly compressed jpg] "I need this site done by tomorrow"
Me: ok, can you send me the psd?
C: "no, I don't have it"
Me: ok can you send me the images you want on the site?
C: no
Me: what about the text?
C: no
Me:.....
C: I have to go to bed5 -
Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"
Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"
Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"
Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."
I am so done with that kind of client.8 -
Had an interview this morning..
Interviewer - have you used github?
Me - yes
Intw - so, you have a profile on github?
Me - yes (** in mind, I don't think github will allow me without that **)
Intw - how many commits have you done?
Me - ** what kinda qust is this ** well,... Yeah... Umm.. A lot! 🙄
Intw - how much is a lot for you?
Me - umm... Well... A lot lot... So many... I mean a lot of... **Long pause** .... You see, I'm a commitment type of guy. ** Wtf did i just say?**
Intw - Whattt!! Then he laughed.
... and I used to think that my days of embarrassing interviews are over. I'm not going to that company doesn't matter what happens. Shitt 😐10 -
5 Types Of Programmers
1.The duct tape programmer
The code may not be pretty, but damnit, it works!
This guy is the foundation of your company. When something goes wrong he will fix it fast and in a way that won’t break again. Of course he doesn’t care about how it looks, ease of use, or any of those other trivial concerns, but he will make it happen, without a bunch of talk or time-wasting nonsense. The best way to use this person is to point at a problem and walk away.
2.The OCD perfectionist programmer
You want to do what to my code?
This guy doesn’t care about your deadlines or budgets, those are insignificant when compared to the art form that is programming. When you do finally receive the finished product you will have no option but submit to the stunning glory and radiant beauty of perfectly formatted, no, perfectly beautiful code, that is so efficient that anything you would want to do to it would do nothing but defame a masterpiece. He is the only one qualified to work on his code.
3.The anti-programming programmer
I’m a programmer, damnit. I don’t write code.
His world has one simple truth; writing code is bad. If you have to write something then you’re doing it wrong. Someone else has already done the work so just use their code. He will tell you how much faster this development practice is, even though he takes as long or longer than the other programmers. But when you get the project it will only be 20 lines of actual code and will be very easy to read. It may not be very fast, efficient, or forward-compatible, but it will be done with the least effort required.
4.The half-assed programmer
What do you want? It works doesn’t it?
The guy who couldn’t care less about quality, that’s someone elses job. He accomplishes the tasks that he’s asked to do, quickly. You may not like his work, the other programmers hate it, but management and the clients love it. As much pain as he will cause you in the future, he is single-handedly keeping your deadlines so you can’t scoff at it (no matter how much you want to).
5.The theoretical programmer
Well, that’s a possibility, but in practice this might be a better alternative.
This guy is more interested the options than what should be done. He will spend 80% of his time staring blankly at his computer thinking up ways to accomplish a task, 15% of his time complaining about unreasonable deadlines, 4% of his time refining the options, and 1% of his time writing code. When you receive the final work it will always be accompanied by the phrase “if I had more time I could have done this the right way”.
What type of programmer are you?
Source: www.stevebenner.com16 -
PM in daily: your turn. what have you done yesterday?
me: so i finished my PR for feature x and now i'm only waiting for review feedback there, so i can close this ticket today if no major rework is required-
PM: this is not what i asked, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: uhh... okay, also i started working on task x
[note: task x, a task per definition involving a large amount of research, was very coarsly defined and it wasn't even clear to the PM what he exactly expects from me, and we agreed that the scope needs to be refined in the process],
so as a first step, i started doing some general investigations to get an overview of the topic and learn about concepts a and b-
PM: again, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: okay well, i have DONE basic research on topic xy and collected information-
PM: this still does not answer my question, what's the deliverable?
me: ...so uhhh.... i read papers? i researched info online and collected and prepared information and links in a presentation which i'm also planning to present to the team-
PM: okay, can you please split your jira task in subtasks so everyone knows exactly what you're working on? otherwise we have no idea what you're doing.
for fuck's sake, shut up. just shut up23 -
Me: Alright today I'm going to work on X, Y, and Z because that's what we planned yesterday.
(10 Minutes into the day)
Boss: We need you to work on A, B, and C. These need to be done today.
Me: What about X, Y, and Z?
B: You have new priorities.
(30 Minutes later)
B: What's your status on X, Y and Z? You think it'll be done today?
M: (Forwards email about new priorities)
B: I'm coming down to talk with you.
WHY.7 -
FUCKING SHIT.
I'm at my first Hackathon with my best friends in life and there has never been a time when I've felt this miserable all my life.
The theme is IoT (something idk jackshit about) and people here are done with the projects when we are still at the idea stage.
Yes, it's true that this shit is intense but I really want to do good at this.
This is what I've learned from my first Hackathon:
1. Prepare your shit.
Unless the problem statements are given on the spot, you should've discussed everything that you would be doing and not divert. (We spent 5 hours on a problem statement and then we decided not to go with it.)
2. Have people with different abilities who you can trust to get the work done without you having to give a second thought.
3. Don't you dare build a sub-par application. What's the fucking use of that? Don't do it for the certificate or the stickers. If you do that, then how the fuck can you make yourself put those stickers on your laptop?!
4. Have food. Keep yourself healthy and up to max potential.
5. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. A lot of people will look like they're done with the shit. You know what you have to do now? NOT GIVE A FUCK! Just focus and do your thing and make it awesome.7 -
Devs: Feature A is done! Faster than planned even.
Manager: Hmm... what about feature A+B?
Devs: That requires feature B, and you said that feature B was not as important as feature A during our last meeting, remember? So we planned to do A, B, and then A+B. It's there in the meeting minutes.
Manager: But feature A does not make sense without feature A+B. Let's not release feature A just yet until we have feature A+B.
Then why didn't you say so during our last meeting?!9 -
Dear "managers,"
Stealing credit for something you have not done is real theft.
When I come up with an idea and a detailed outline of how to build and deliver it, you do not get to say "oh I also had this idea." You did not. How could you? It uses tech you don't even know exists.
When I then proceed to build the whole thing on my own without any of your inputs (then again, you have no idea of how it works, what would you bring to the table), you don't get to parade my project in front of the board not even mentioning my name.
You see, it's not the first time you pull that off, you have taken full credit for every thing.
it's not just my wee feelings getting hurt for lack of recognition: it has real world consequences.
You get the promotion, you get the salary raise and you now live in a flat with a balcony and a view, while my wife and I share a studio as my salary has not budged.
You're a cunting thief, I hope your mom dies.
Best,
X8 -
Worst part of being a dev: "we need this done by the end of the week"
Me: "ok what are the specifications?"
PMs: "not sure yet, we have a meeting with the client on Thursday."
Me: "cool, I'll look at it Monday."
Don't come to me with deadlines before you know what I'm building. -
Always the same story:
Marketing: hey I'm gonna do a demo to a customer. They were asking for feature XYZ. That's ready on thr staging server right? Do you think I could use the staging server for the demo?
Devs: well feature XYZ is not 100% done. Basically just feature X is done, and it still has a few bugs. The deadline ain't for another month, since we gotta finish ABC first. I guess you could use the staging, but it has a lot of bugs.
Marketing: perfect!
*after presentation*
Marketing: the staging had so many bugs! Why didn't you tell me?! It was so embarrassing showing it to new customers! Anyway, they loved the new feature. We need it to be ready ASAP.
Devs: What?! That's gonna mess up with our schedule. You know what? Fine, but feature ABC will have to wait another month.
Marketing: Well, it'd be ideal if we could do both...
Devs: Pay for more devs or dor extra hours.
Marketing: Just do XYZ. It's a pity that you'll have to push back ABC but it's fine, XYZ is more important.
(I might ask, if it was so important, why didn't you notice so in the meeting where we had decided that ABC would be prioritized?)
*tons of working hours later*
Devs: There, we finished XYZ.
Marketing: Yay! Wow, this month we'll have two major features done: ABC and XYZ!
Devs: No, ABC is not done yet.
Marketing: What? But the deadline was this week.
Devs: It was, but then you decided to prioritize XYZ and we said we had to push back ABC to get XYZ ready, and you agreed.
Marketing: Did we? Fine. But do it quick.
Marketing and their mood swings.5 -
Pretty new at the job still.
-”Hey, best practice to do X?”
”Just check how we did it in previous code”
*checks whole bloody project, everything done in 500 different ways by 20 people*
*selects what seems as the best solution already used*
”Ya, you should have done X like this instead”
😒6 -
Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.5 -
ESTIMATING FUCKING HOURS.
Well not literally, that only takes 10 minutes.
But software estimation... anyone pretending to be good at it is a dirty liar. Adding a button? Uh, let's say 2 hours, I mean I gotta poop in between as well, and it's probably some broken bootstrap theme with hacked custom margins.
Building a commenting system coupled to an ancient CRM? Uh... maybe one day? Maybe a month? I don't even know what the CRMs looks like? You won't show me because "that's irrelevant"?
WELL THEN I DON'T FUCKING HAVE A CLUE.
And in the time we spent on discussing time estimations, I could have written like half of the feature... or zero... because you still haven't fucking shown me what the CRM API looks like.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL GIVE YOU AN ESTIMATION. ME. VACATION. DONE IN 6 WEEKS.6 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????
JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!
FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!5 -
Client: Half of our barcodes aren't being recognized. Can you tell why?
Me: Ok, I will look at the problem... Open the imagens of the failed barcodes and see that all of them have a stamp over the barcode...
What I have done wrong to deserve this...3 -
I went on an interview was given an algorithm to solve, solved it in 30 mins and they had allocated 20 mins for it. So I guess I suck. I build shit, I don't do algos that often so I'm obviously rusty.
interviewer: so why should we hire you over a CS graduate.
me: cause I can get shit done.
... akward silence
interviewer: what do you mean by that? like html and CSS?
me: as you can see, I have built large scale real-time web apps with React/Redux (the stack they supposedly use and the position they're hiring for!) the knowledge I have is practical, it can't be learned from books, and it can't be learned from a course. Only building, breaking and rebuilding over time will teach you this knowledge. So essentially a CS grad, who hasn't committed the same amount of hours as I have, can't possibly match me. But they probably can better explain the real world applications of using linked lists...and won't have to Google what Pascal's triangle is like I had to....
interviewer: I see. we will be in touch.
lol well I guess they'll be in touch..9 -
$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!7 -
-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."3 -
guys my mom is a PM help
shes been telling me what to do on my personal projects for the last to days like:
Mom: "Make it so when I click it, it becomes brighter and displays all the info"
Me: "I mean I could yeah"
Mom: "No you have to do it, I don't like it otherwise"
Me: "I understand, but this is kinda my thing-"
Mom: " k yeah and get it done in 2 days"
Me: "...yes, master"
(On a real note, she actually is a PM... what was I expecting...)12 -
Coolest thing about platforms like devrant, is that it's so easy to get people to read what you have to say, and get them to notice you.
It doesn't matter if you have a nice profile picture, have a lot of friends/followers or anything like that.
The content is what matters.
Also, its not like everything here is developer related or is super nerdy, most of the stuff you see are normal things you'd expect people to post on things like Facebook when they want to be social and connect with people.
It's sad that this is not how most social media is done.7 -
I coded for a whole day (uninterrupted, literally woke up, grabbed my laptop and headphones and started) and suddenly, let wild parent shows up.
"Aren't you going to go out? You need to see some friends"
My response: As stated before, I have no friends, now leave
**Leaves**
**Comes back 2 hours later**
"Hey can you help me with my computer?"
Me: you didn't state the issue, what computer, what os, what you have done to fix it, have you even tried rebooting?
"Don't talk like that to me! Now come and help me!"
Me: nope, hint, answer the questions about your issue
"You rude piece of..."
**Starts screaming bla bla bla**
Wow, it has happened before that I treat people wanting help like me trying to debug, but I usually correct myself. I took it way to fucking far this time...15 -
Pm: "so how long should this take?"
Me: "well, I see at LEAST 8 hours of work here for me, some of which can't be done without graphics, but let's assume graphics are done by designers by the time I get to hour 6 and I just have to plug the images in without much editing or tweaking."
Pm: "So you'll have this by tomorrow?"
Me: "Do you think I just sit on my hands all day waiting for one of you trolls to give me something to do? I said AT LEAST 8 FULL HOURS OF MY TIME, that would be assuming I could get 8 consecutive hours to work on this, and let's face it that's not gonna happen."
Pm: "So Friday...?"
Me: "Tell the client that so long as there aren't any unforseen issues it could be done as early as Thursday. I'll put it on my schedule, but it is not a priority until at least Monday. There's only one of me and 5 other active projects on my desk."
Pm: "I'm gonna tell them Wednesday morning we'll show it to them for approval."
What in the hell is wrong with people?4 -
I did it! My Senior Project is done! Seven months of my life have been spent leading up to the completion of my game engine and it's finally over. It is awful and should never actually be used by anyone, but it's done and that's all that matters.
And as my final middle finger to my school's administration, somebody has to grade a binder comprised of nearly 200 pages. That's what they get for not listening to me when I told them that it was a huge project and adding more to it. Dear administration, f*** you for making my life more stressful than it needed to be.7 -
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.
Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.
2 months go by, project is completed.
Boss: I've got another project for you
Me: Awesome!
1 month later...
PM: We're moving you back to project 1
Me: Why?
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.
2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.
Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.3 -
What!?!
You have to update Microsoft Visual Studio Installer 2017 in order to update Microsoft Visual Studio 2017 Preview?!?! WTF!?! WELL DONE MICROSOFT!
Xamarin is 27GB, whaaaaaat?!?4 -
In a meeting the vice president of IT asked me “How long would it take you to re-write our CRM in XML?”
I responded “I’ll have it done by the end of the day if you can tell me what XML stands for.”
VP walked out of the meeting not saying a word.3 -
After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.
...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."
He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.
Me: "what did I do wrong?"
Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."
Me: "can I expl..."
Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."
Me: "I have..."
Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"
Me: "ok"
Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"
Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."
Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)
Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."
Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."
Me: "But you have spoken"
Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"
That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.
Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"8 -
Now seriously, WHAT THE FUCK???
Every single time I have to work with people from a particular country [you have one guess. Yepp, that's the one], I see A-FUCKING-LOOOOOOT of manual work?!?
"can you reboot the server?"
-"sure, let me help you, sir" <20 minutes later> "done"
"can you unlock my account?"
-"yes, just a moment sir" <20 minutes later> "please check now"
"can you restart this environment w/ 200 instances?"
-"yes sir, let me check" <6 hours later> "please check now"
"you've missed 18 containers"
-"oh okay sir, will restart them now" <2hours later> "please check now"
[I am already OoO]
why is it that every time I have to work with you guys I am the one who is automating shit. How come you never think of/do any automata? You are fucking technitians, you should know how. WHY DO YOU ENJOY CLICKING ALL-DAY-LONG????
I'm serious. Why??? I'm struggling to understand...22 -
*Never* do CSS tweaks over the phone and tell the customer to refresh and approve the change. This will lead to endless tweaking andlong calls at any hour, and further trivializes your work by making it look like everything can be done instantly. Better to have them send you the changes they want, then send them an update later once they have been done—perhaps with a bit of a delay to further stave off the sense of instant gratification.
Also, if they keep requesting changes to changes after you’ve done what they asked, be prepared to let them know that future changes will incur an additional fee. -
new !Rant();
Found this on Reddit and can relate to code. Show me what you have done and I'll see what I can do for you.1 -
!rant
Storytime!
I'm on the phone with an elderly customer.
Customer: Yes, I just got my computer back and now it's not talking to my monitor.
Me: Okay, and the monitor cable is plugged in?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Okay, I think I remember that you had a graphics card. Do you have a horizontal blue port?
Customer: No.
Me: Okay. So let's look near the middle of your computer. Do you see a blue port?
Customer: I don't know. I know the blue monitor cable is plugged in, but I don't know what color it is.
Me: Alright, let's unplug the cable for a second.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now let's look for those two blue ports...
Customer: I only see one.
Me: And it's near the middle of the computer?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Okay, let's plug the monitor in.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now does the monitor come up with anything?
Customer: Let me get to where I can see it... No, there's nothing.
Me: Even if you wiggle the mouse a little?
Customer: What?
Me: Does the computer talk to the monitor if you move the mouse a little?
Customer: How do I do that?
Me: ...You take the mouse... and move it from side to side
Customer: Oh! I understand. Um, no. Nothing.
Me: Okay, well let's bring the computer in. I think I know what the problem is, I just need to put a piece of tape somewhere.
Customer: Oh, okay. Fine.2 -
That moment when you copy something then hit ctrl+c instead of ctrl+v to paste and realize what you have done a split second later... Every time I do this a little part of me dies7
-
How can you defend your ugly unstructured mess of a PR, when every spit-droplet infused spray of words from your mouth is full of syntax errors?
How can you call yourself a developer without being aware of basic logic? I ain't got no tolerance for double negations, not not true is just true, you doltish twat.
WHEN YOU TALK THERE IS A CLOUD OF RED SQUIGGLY LINES IN THE AIR FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD.
I mean what the fuck is up with eggcetera? Why are you just swapping out letters? What has the little ligature t in & ever done to you? Do I have to fucking replace & with 🥚 so your word diarrhea makes sense again?
NO. JUST PLEASE... STOP TALKING. YOU'RE RAPING LANGUAGE, AND IT WAS ALREADY BEATEN DEAD.
Unlike me, you have a degree in computer science... but how, how the fuck did you pass? How did neither your tongue nor code get stuck in a linter?
AND YOUR RESPONSE IS STILL: "YOU DON'T NEED TO LEARN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH SCHOOL" ... "WHAT DOES IT MATTER, IT WORKS, RIGHT?"
NO, IT'S NOT RIGHT.
You're lucky I love refactoring.
I'll start with a medical grade steel scalpel and a long sharp hook. Maybe I can clean up this brain a little. See if the tests turn green if I cut some of this gray matter away... plenty of unreachable statements, so many unnecessary loops...
Might have to start from scratch.8 -
I leave to visit a customer and leave my iPhone charger plugged into my computer.
I come back and my colleague has my charger, the converstaion goes as follows.
Me: "Can i have my charger back?, it was plugged into my machine before i left."
Colleague: "Why do you need it?"
Me: "To charge my phone?"
Colleague: "Yeah, but i need to charge mine"
*The cable is plugged into his phone, charging*
Me: "Yeah, but its my cable, that you took"
Colleague: "Just wait until I'm done"
Me: null
What has even happened lol5 -
Hello everyone 👋
I see people blaming the developers when you see a crappy software product , saying that they have done a bad job.
But even it could be true also it could be the product managers who didn’t give enough time todo what needs to be done or project scope is too big for the persons knowledge.
I’ve worked in a company where deadlines were so tight I didn’t have enough time to proper UI and Testing. I used to be only developer who has someone experience and I had to train the interns as well. I am also to blame to joining such company but in desperate times takes desperate measures.
And now when i’m leaving the company and I have spend 2 years of my life for apps that I’m not proud of.
Just rant. Please feel free to give ur thoughts2 -
Frack..people suck.
In sprint planning meeting, prioritizing the tasks...
ScrumMaster: "Next item, create a spreadsheet that identifies the systems used by order processing so the PO can identify errors by system."
Me: "That's already done."
ScrumMaster: "Did you work ahead of the sprint again?"
- Really trying not to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "No, you did back in January."
- SM stutters..um..uhhs...
ScrumMaster: "No, I never did that...see."
- SM navigates to the sharepoint directory
Me: "Yep, there it is."
ScrumMaster: "I didn't create it, you must have."
Me: "Created by...you."
ScrumMaster: "Uh...um....I might have added it to sharepoint, but doesn't mean I created it. Anyway, lets take a look..."
- opens the spreadsheet
ScrumMaster: "What is this? Did you simply export the sharepoint list to excel?"
- Getting harder and harder to resist the urge to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "I don't know what that is, you created it. You commented on the Trello card that this task item was done."
ScrumMaster: "No, I've never seen this or made any comment on the Trello board...lets look ..."
- FRACK!!! TRELLO IS DOWN!!!
ScrumMaster: "When Trello comes back up I'll assign the card to you. Lets stay on task with the cards from now on. Next item ... "
Trello up, 3 hours later, back at my desk, there is his fracking comment from January about uploading the spreadsheet to sharepoint. Frack frack frack people suck3 -
Some time ago I went for a job interview (Unity3D Dev). I have little experience in this field and never thought that I would get this job but wanted to gain some and thought that it would be a great opportunity.
So after the interview, which was great and I really enjoyed it, I've been tasked with making a simple minigame. Only requirements were that there have to be player controls, character must avoid obstacles and camera must be moving with player's progress. I've made a little spin on those. In 2d minigame I've created you are piloting simple (made out of 3d primitives) rocket. You have to avoid randomly spawned platforms. If you hit one, you explode. You also die, if you hit a wall or fall out of camera and hit Destroyer. Camera is constantly moving as long as you are moving. The spin is that you have very limited fuel. To regain it you have to land on said platforms with your thrusters. It took me around 12h to make this game. The only reason I know it is because they wanted this info. I've learned a bit while working on this minigame and had a lot of fun. It was a great impuls to start learning gamedev again and stop stagnation I fell in when I started my studies and work.
Today I've got response. Obviously I didn't get the job. They took more experienced person and I totally understand that. But there's more. They were so great to give me pretty extensive review of what was done good, what could be done better and how to gather more experience. They said that the game met their expectations and was written well. That's great, because I was worried that it would be bad since I haven't worked on graphics at all.
So, at least I got an impulse to start learning and maybe I'll even go for some game jam!4 -
Got an email earlier this week. It went something like this:
"It looks like your team still hasn't delivered the logging and monitoring solution that we asked for. Can you get it done in time for our production deployment next Friday?"
Um, wait, excuse me, WHAT?
1. You never actually asked for the thing you claim we didn't deliver. In fact, when we brought up the fact that you should probably have some monitoring set up for your servers, you said it would be handled entirely by your own team.
2. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS PROJECT FOR SIX MONTHS WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR DEADLINE UNTIL NOW
3. I won't even have time to start working on this until the Monday after your prod deployment date. Sorrynotsorry.
I really shouldn't be surprised though. This project has been a clusterfuck from the very beginning so this is just par for the course.2 -
Thank you for fucking me
Thank you for sucking me
Thank you for lying to me
Thank you for showing your true self
Thank you for teaching me what type of people to avoid
Thank you for sharpening my focus
Thank you for making me suffer
Thank you for improving my grind
Thank you for being a bitch
Thank you for being a whore
For now i have taken heavy damage and a heavy loss of time
For i shall take it as a reminder
A lesson to never forget
Short term gain
Damages
Long term fulfillment
And vice versa
Yin yang
The perfect balance
You will not be missed
I am done dealing with this fuckin bullshit
Goodbye13 -
Manager: Could you create the UI for the new feature? The client wants to test it. We need it in 3 days.
*1 week later*
Client: IT DOESNT WORK
Me: This is just a visual demo... but everything will work when we realse the feature.
Client: okay but can I see what it will do?
Of course you can! Just wait until we relase it!
*2 weeks later*
Manager: What are you doing?
Me: Working on the UI for the new feature.
Manager: Wait, hadn't you already done it for the demo?
Me: That UI didn't really work. It was basically a bunch of HTML, without reactivity or abstraction or any functionality.
Manager: Okay, how much where you able to re-use?
Me: almost nothing.
Manager: So... you wasted those 3 days?
Oh so I'm the one who wasted 3 days.
Me: Kinda, yeah
Manager: Why couldn't you have done this when I asked you to do the UI?
You can't expect good quality code in 3 days. Pls stop wasting it on demos.3 -
*based on a true story*
Co-worker: Let's release it
Me: Wait, I want to add just a little feature
Co-worker: Is it necessary?
Me: Trust me
*5 minutes later*
Co-worker: So, have you finished implementing your "little feature"?
Me: Yeah, well, it's done. Maybe.
Co-worker: What the hell have you done?
Me: MAYBE I've added 647 lines of codes to the file to implement my little feature, MAYBE it doesn't works and MAYBE the entire project is compromised
Co-worker: ah3 -
"We use WSDL and SOAP to provide data APIs"
- Old-fashioned but ok, gimme the service def file
(The WSDL services definition file describes like 20 services)
- Cool, I see several services. In need those X data entities.
"Those will all be available through the Data service endpoint"
- What you mean "all entities in the same endpoint"? It is a WSDL, the whole point is having self-documented APIs for each entity format!
"No, you have a parameter to set the name of the data entity you want, and each entity will have its own format when the service return it"
- WTF you need the WSDL for if you will have a single service for everything?!?
"It is the way we have always done things"
Certain companies are some outdated-ass backwater tech wannabees.
Usually those that have dominated the market of an entire country since the fucking Perestroika.
The moment I turn on the data pipeline, those fuckers are gonna be overloaded into oblivion. I brought popcorn.7 -
When you do something not part of your job but you were feeling nice today. Then it sets in that you just inherited that task. What have I done...3
-
I wonder if flappy bird dev is in this community. Anyway, I want to ask you guys - What would have you done if you were in his situation?
I hear he removed the game after he saw people are wasting too much time on it.
People waste too much time on porn, Facebook, YouTube and what not. I don't understand his reasoning behind removing the game.
Anyway, what would have you done?25 -
At a point in your life, you'll settle down abit, and you start to think about what you've done in the past (idk) years of your life.
Then you think about your career, how everything is ever since you discovered you were good at a certain thing since highschool.
be it programing, writing random codes, pentesting (or if you had that "hacker" phase in your life) or fixing laptops and etc.
"Good"
You think about the word, and you had a thought: You only know how to do it, how it works, how its done, and how to do it.
You only "Know", it takes practice, patience, dedication and years (or months depends on you) of experience before you can really say for sure you're "Good" at it.
Me? Im no where near good. but that doesn't stop me from going there.
And i hope the same goes for you. You can do it,
Have a great day.3 -
Do you know what's better than getting work done. HAVING ANOTHER F****ING MEETING ABOUT WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!
I COULD'VE HAD MOST OF THIS SHIT DONE BY NOW BUT I HAVE TO SPEND 1/2 OF EVERY DAY JUST EXPLAINING WHAT THE F***K I'M DOING, WHAT THE F**K EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND THEN EXPLAINING WHY IT HASN"T BEEN F***ING DONE!
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS LEAVING WHY YOU CAN'T RETAIN ANYONE? YOU HIRED THEM AS FREAKING ENGINEERS PROMISING THEM THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THINGS AND THEY SPEND ALL DAY IN F***ING MEETINGS WASTING THEIR IQ AND WISHING FOR DEATH!
GGAAAHHHHH! BY THE EMPEROR PLEASE COMMISSAR END ME!4 -
"You've been working on this for 6 weeks, and I don't see any changes. What have you done?"
"I completely overhauled the backend, now everything makes more sense and we're using more modern APIs"
"But nothing's changed at all! The front-end looks exactly the same!!"
"*sigh* The new backend is also more secure.. "
"Oh, so it's a security upgrade, that's good, but why did it take six weeks?"
-_-4 -
Dear Teacher.
Thank you for forcing me to use a windows computer for your lecture, even though i have told you that i don't have any windows machine.
Thank you for forcing me use 3DS max for your simple fuckin trash that needs 20 minutes of work, whilst i could have used gladly Blender.
Thank you for making me deal with that shit that i won't touch again in my life again just because you teach a simple lecture that isn't cleary for computer science which i and many people study, but for people who deal with graphics.
What more joyful i would have done rather than downloading 8GB of software to use once in my life
Thank you, you piece of shit.13 -
Imagine naïvely treating your ONLY full-time employee like a robot that simply accomplishes tasks for you on a whim without even waiting for or even acknowledging their feedback (when that feedback has +10 years of experience of product development over you).
I wonder what it's like to operate at so idiotic a level on a day to day basis.
I don't care if you have all the fucking "vision" in the world, I'm actively searching for new positions, especially the ones that pay me double or triple what I'm earning now. I'm outta here, pronto tonto
Yeah, you founded a fucking company, been there, done that, 2 times even. just shut up6 -
While I am self employed, my clients can end up like my boss. In this case, one of my clients is the best "boss" I have ever had. We discuss everything from ethics to npm to development to board games. And we still get the job done.
He challenges me constantly to improve, and then we laugh over how we disagree with concepts, frameworks, etc. And we still get the job done.
It's fantastic to have a client who understands that you should be paid for your time, that lets you get what they hired you to do done without micro managing you (you trust me to actually do what you hired me to do? *gasp, shock*), and still enjoys the small talk. Though some of our ethics and society discussions can be rather large discussions.3 -
- My task is dependent on a senior's.
- I wait for him to finish it for couple of days.
- Once done I went to test it, the value doesn't get updated, it turns out the value is static ... WTFFFFF!
- I assign him a bug task to fix it.
- My task is still pending.
- After couple of days, he assigns me the task of fixing it, with the excuse that he's busy.
Are you fucking serious !!?? What have I done in my life to deserve such senior? all I want is someone I respect and learn from .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.5 -
You have to integrate company A system with company B.
You look up B`s api documentation, write the necessary code, test it thoroughly. Done
__________________________________
A wild dev from B has appeared!!!
------------------------------------------------------
him > you cannot use this SDK to implement this solution. You must use a different one...
You > (coming back to him after scouring through the docs) . Ok which sdk is it then? I can't find it anywhere. Could you send it to me pls?
him > I don't kbow, my knowledge doesn't go that far. Send an email to the dev department.
After sending the email, and spending a couple of days trying to figure out which sdk was he referring to. His department answers that the sdk you should use, is the one you already used. The only one they have.
A couple of days lost, because certain smart-ass could not refrain himself from meddling in the project.
What would you do?
Note: Killing him is out of the question :)8 -
Several hours ago decided to quit my job due to insane manager (more in the upcoming rants) without a new job lined up.
An hour ago I got an interview invite from Uber.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
P.S. Anyone working at Uber? Did you have to do much LeetCode? I’ve done two LC exercises in my entire life. Not sure what to expect.10 -
first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)
four of them still have "to be defined" labels
so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
Funny commit messages
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public.
//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
//2 -
Boss: "i need you to build a feature so that customers can do bla bla bla and it has to be done by friday.
Dev: "Ok i can do it fast if you sure this is what you want, and requirements wont change in the future. Have you considered bla bla"
Boss: "Yes do it"
Dev: *writes, tests and deploys code*
A few weeks later:
Boss: "we need to add bla bla to the feature you built since some requirements has changed."10 -
What kind of stupid verification is this ??
apparently, you have to hit the arrow buttons till the animal in the "front" is straight fro the screen and press on done, and if not done in 5 seconds, it says you need to faster, WTAF!!!9 -
Do you have a ‘Drama Queen’ on your team?
This happened last week.
DK = Drama Queen
DK: “OMG..the link to the document isn’t working! All I get is page not found. I’m supposed to update the notes for this project…and now I can’t! What the _bleep_ and I supposed to do now?!...I don’t understand how …”
This goes on for it seems 5 minutes.
Me: “Hold on...someone probably accidently mistyped the file name or something. I’m sure the document is still there.”
DK: “Well, I’ll never find it. Our intranet is a mess. I’m going to have to tell the PM that the project is delayed now and there is nothing I can do about it because our intranet is such a mess.”
Me: “Maybe, but why don’t you open up the file and see where the reference is?”
DK: “Oh, _bleep_ no…it is HTML…I don’t know anything about HTML. If the company expects me to know HTML, I’m going to have to tell the PM the project is delayed until I take all the courses on W3-Schools.”
Me: “Um…you’ve been developing as long as I have and you have a couple of blogs. You know what an anchor tag is. I don’t think you have to take all those W3 courses. It’s an anchor tag with a wrong HREF, pretty easy to find and fix”
DK: “Umm…I know *my* blog…not this intranet mess. Did you take all the courses on W3-Schools? Do you understand all the latest web html standards?”
Me: “No, but I don’t think W3 has anything to do the problem. Pretty sure I can figure it out.”
DK: “ha ha…’figuring it out’. I have to know every detail on how the intranet works. What about the javascript? Those intranet html files probably have javascript. I can’t make any changes until I know I won’t break anything. _bleep_! Now I have to learn javascript! This C# project will never get done. The PM is going to be _bleep_issed! Great..and I’ll probably have to work weekends to catch up!”
While he is ranting…I open up the html file, locate the misspelling, fix it, save it..
Me: “Hey..it’s fixed. Looks like Karl accidently added a space in the file name. No big deal.”
DK:”What!!! How did you…uh…I don’t understand…how did you know what the file name was? What if you changed something that broke the page? How did you know it was the correct file? I would not change anything unless I understood every detail. You’re gonna’ get fired.”
Me: “Well, it’s done. Move on.”9 -
First day back. I am a junior Dev a year and a half of work.
I get in after Christmas break and find people standing around my desk turns out all senior staff (except CEO and PM who are both non-technical ) are away and an email. Basically saying it's up to me for the next week to manage people.
FU&£&# what the heck I don't have a clue what I am doing and I can't mange if I could I would be a manager pays better. So I designate to people took me an hour to figure out what people can actually get on with. Then PM wants a break down of the plan. Then meeting with CEO over the importance of these projects and told 'politely' shortest deadline to date most work, get it done the company depends on these projects if you don't well it would be the end of you.
Get back to my desk people need work I should be getting on with to do theirs but I have been busy in silly meetings and litrually every 5 mins get nagged 'have I done it yet'. But as I am about done they discover what they should have been working on is doable without my work. I don't shake but at one point today I was shaking so much with nerves I couldn't type. Had a very short lunch and stayed on late sorting people problems out. (Thankfully the even more junior people are nice and 1 did help me at one point today I'm so great full for the help)
I'm a junior no training in the technologies I work with not even before starting the job. £3 million+ worth of projects and possible future client resting on my shoulders... (Thankfully the real project lead and senior members are back next week although won't be long left till deadline) Wtf ...
Anyone got a job going I want out!5 -
To people who have done tech support:
Shoot me. Do you know what it is like to teach kids to use a mouse? Or even type in a keyboard? They don’t even know how to double click. Gotta call google chrome the circle of colors for them to understand. Some think the video that is giving the instructions is actually them doing it. So when it ends they are like alright done.
FYI: working in an internship currently where we teach kindergarten up until 5th graders from scratch to Minecraft modding. Btw it is an unpaid internship.10 -
Me: soooo can you get this done by next week?
Other dev: well who knows what rabbit hole I'll fall down. There's no way to tell.
Me: can you just avoid falling down a rabbit hole? We have a deadline.
Other dev: oh ya there's no way to know for sure.
Me: ....... Can you please try harder
Other dev: I'm trying I can't.
Me: ................6 -
I have worked with a handful of very green devs in the last 10 years. A common theme has emerged.
They don't heed any of my advice.
An exercise to the reader:
If you have a Windows machine, but need to work in a Linux environment, what would be your first instinct how to proceed?
In this exercise, you are as green as it gets. You have very little professional development experience, let alone server admin experience. And your lead dev has suggested setting up a VM.
1. Set up a Linux VM
2. Use a live CD or set up a dual boot system
3. Pay for a cloud server and set it up from scratch
I have no idea how this person intends to get any work done on a remote, terminal only, Linux server. That is if I can even get their environment into a sane configuration.15 -
I have previously mentioned my weird co-worker. He likes to come up behind people and shoulder surf, asking "whatcha up to, buddy?".
He also thinks he's a manager, which explains a lot I guess. I half expect him to walk around with an " Initech" mug saying "Yeah....if you could just have those TPS reports done by lunch, that would be greaaat".
YOU ARE NOT MANAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SPECIALIZE IN. GO FIX A PRINTER, GAH DAMMIT.
...and he mumbles.
I'm not perfect though, so I'm sure I have weird quirks about me.2 -
There is absolutely no reason, what so ever, that you should ever own a fucking Wi-Fi enabled washer and dryer!
Like if you really need to check that your kids haven't done the chores while you're at the grocery store, from your phone, you have some bigger issues. You're basically giving LG the ability to make money off your laundry habits for years and years after your purchase.11 -
Don't you just hate when your boss goes like:
"Why isn't this feature working?"
SHIT FUCK, IF I KNEW THE REASON, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT SHIT, INNIT?
WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?
"Well you should have tested better"
IT TOOK A MONTH FOR 1 USER TO SEE THAT BUG, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE THAT BUG IN THE FEW HOURS OF TESTING I CAN ACTUALLY DO FOR THIS PROJECT?
"There also are other 15 project to get done"
FUCK THIS SHIT -
Me: “Hey boss, you assigned these things to me that I’m not qualified for and have no experience in. We should really hire someone with the specialized skills in this”
Boss “I agree. It’s a role I desperately think we should have hired for a long time ago”
Me “Ok so about these tickets the-“
Boss “I need you to write up a justification for this role, what kind of work the person would be doing and what budget implications we will incur”
Me “You’re asking me to write a job description for a class of work I’ve already admitted I have no experience or qualifications doing MYSELF?”
Boss “Correct”
Me “and I’m still responsible in the meantime for getting these other tickets done still aren’t I?”
Boss “Yes”
Me “Very well. I’ll email you a recap of this discussion then so we can come back to it later when we start hiring for the role”
(and so my ass is sufficiently covered when I inevitably bring down prod and people start asking why I broke prod)5 -
Me: So you have no work experience, and majored in liberal arts, but you did go through a 6 months bootcamp, right?
Candidate: Yeah.
Me: sounds good, we will have to work together with you for a long while until you become independent, but I think you can definitely do this. What are you salary expectations?
Candidate: I'm thinking of 5000.
Me: Aight, thanks for your time! We'll send you more details later
Around here, 5000 (arbitrary made up number) is what you pay someone with around 3 years of experience at least. It's always these pampered fucks from rich countries that want to earn a shitton of money for the grand effort of going to a goddamn bootcamp for some months. That is their definition of effort and hard work, because it seems they've never once in their lives had any sort of hardship or struggle beyond crying that dad got them an Android instead of an iPhone. If you leave them alone they can't do jack shit because they've never worked in real, big projects, so you gotta invest a lot of time in them. Which is fine, everyone starts from somewhere. But what kinda balls do you have to demand a mid level salary when you have done basically nothing so far, and your knowledge is superficial at best?
I know that a lot of jobs and recruiters give bottom of the barrel shit, but I swear some candidates are insane. Unpopular rant I assume but I just needed to scream a bit.10 -
Me and my team has been creating React components for the last two months. Today we realized that not a single component is done the Redux way (as pure functions), which means we have to refactor every component and the tests.
That's what you get for trying out new technology..3 -
met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...5
-
Me: Ah, just have to finish this one small feature today and this whole massive update is done. Everyone will be off my back, things will calm down. Gonna be great.
Life: hey man, you know what I was thinking? It’s been a really long time since you had one of those vomiting bugs ... you know the gut wrenching, massive headache, can’t do anything but stare at the walls kind of flu’s?
Me: ...... eh I’m ok thanks.
Life: oh buddy you don’t understand ...... RUN!!!2 -
Some idiots ripped off our work and code that was open sourced and wrote a paper on it and got it published from some cheap publisher. Even for me to some benefit of doubt or consider that probably they worked on advancing our research….they didn’t even give us any credits!
Heights of shamelessness!
FYI, we already had an IEEE paper published!
I don’t mind if you guys have any suggestions on how I can get back at them. I don’t think a rant is going to calm me down for what they have done.7 -
Boss: ABC
Me: as an intern at XYZ firm.
ABC: this is internet is very slow today, AmanDeep what happen check it.
me: Sir,there are too much user on the wifi.
ABC:So how we can disconnect them without their knowing.
me: We have to deauth all of their connection using fluxion.
ABC: Do it fast...
me: its take time to be done, you have to do by linux.
ABC: I had done it before in my high school on cmd you and your excuses for the work.You are lame at work...
...\../..
\......../
Me: Now i am searching a new internship...4 -
!rant What have you done with my life DevRant? I'm now addicted and can't quit. Meth is softer than this. 😐
-
Dear Contractor,
Please understand that the reason I have hired you is so I could offload fairly marginal tasks and projects to someone else so that my work queue stops being a constipated mess of things that need done. HOWEVER, if you continue to freaking need constant hand holding I'll do the damn project myself. STOP ASKING ME EVERY 30 SECONDS IF I HAVE AN OPINION ON WHAT FUCKING TEXT EDITOR YOU SHOULD BE USING.
Good help is so hard to find.
Sincerely,
Sr. Developer -
Junior engineer asking managers on Slack about prioritisation..
Junior eng: Hey managers, I have these tasks A & B lined up and some other type of work... Is it ok if I finish A by Weds and B by the end of week or should it be done sooner? Also, is the order fine or should I prio B first?
*silence for hours*
Random dev feeling bad for junior getting no response chips in: Hey, you are doing great, that order makes sense to me and let me know if you need any guidance or have questions!
Junior dev: Thaanks and will do!
*another hour goes by*
Manager: Hi team. I have asked other engineer X to do task B tomorrow.
what the fuck. at least answer the fucking question and say it needs to be done sooner. felt bad for poor junior here. :/3 -
Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer
Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say4 -
New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
Friend: i have an idea
Me: what is it?
Friend: uber is not yet here, lets do the app exactly like uber only for the city, can you do that like in one month?
Me: uber is a billion dollar company with several and the best engineers in the world
Friend: so what, just copy the exact same idea, of course the money comes when the app is done
Me: sure... ill call you in a month. (delete conversation) -
I like like my boss and my coworkers and the place I work but for the love of goat cheese this org has the attention span of a toddler on meth.
Seriously, it's like this is your #1 priority, next week, wait we have a different emergency you have a new super critical urgent thing, then "hey team Y has a vendor coming in next month to integrate these two pieces and they need you to have half of it wired up by then so make sure you get that done." Like SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY
HERE"S SOME LIFE ADVICE IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU PLAN OR SCHEDULE OR PRIORITIZE IF YOU END UP CHANGING ALL OF IT EVERY WEEK!
It's like painting a mural of a field, and then 10 minutes in you decide you'd rather paint a space ship, then you realize you don't like the space ship so instead you decide to change your painting to Elvis with a mullet, and you keep doing this. The end result is not beauty it's the mad deranged scribbles of a man past the point of sanity.
But for the love of Haliburton if they ask me why X or Y wasn't done I'll probably end up going full BOFH on somebody.3 -
A few days ago I had a party with a big part of my good ol' highschool classmates who I almost never spoke to. Let the stories begin:
- Guy who made fun me in when I said I wanted to do computer science: "Man, I wish I had done the same study. It looks fun."
- Guy who has a startup for like 1 year: "Sooo what are you good at, ios/android development? webdevelopment? contact me if you want to work with us.(for free)"
- One of the friendly guys: "Do you have any sites where I can learn some basic programming or something?"
What I thought: WTF HAPPEND IN THOSE 3 YEARS, WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST IN PROGRAMMING AND STUFF?! ESPECIALLY YOU FIRST GUY!3 -
If this isn't the worst thing.
I was asked to develop a WordPress plugin as an intern developer and I've been on it since last week. I got stuck when i finally had the loops running but couldn't find a way to format the output without overwriting the existing values on each iteration.
For the last one week I've been showing the progress on my code to the CTO and this is how it has been.
Me: Hello. Everything is coming along fine, I have most of the functions running properly, do you mind looking into the algorithm?
CTO: Oh not at all, let's see what you got. Omg great code for an intern. I think you should add a new variable there and maybe clean up that function over there because it's deprecated now and yeah HaHa, Great work.
Me: Thanks xD I'll have it finished latest next week.
CTO: Oh great. I can't wait to see what you'd have by next week so we can install it on our WordPress.
*Next finally week comes and I'm done with the code.
Me: Hello, I'm done with the entire code! Want to take a look? The plugin works just exactly as described.
*CTO takes a look
CTO: Omg?
Me: Omg?
CTO: This is completely bad programming practice, so you are running 4 nested loops that all send queries to our data base and make changes to data. This would have a very drastic effect on the server considering the traffic we get.
Me: But you saw this exact code last week and said it was okay, I only changed some CSS since the last time.
CTO: Omg, we can't accept this, you have to develop it again from the scratch without using those loops and queries.
Me: What? Okay, fine. Any hints?
CTO: Yes.
Me: What?
CTO: Just start. That's the greatest hint I could ever give. And also, always have a plan before you begin.
Me: Yeah, thanks for those. It's the first time I'm hearing them and they would totally be applicable to building this thing.2 -
Most upsetting interview rejection?
Back when I graduated college, I did the usual rounds of interviews with insurance companies, banks, various other institutional businesses set up by the college's career center.
One local insurance company interview I thought went great. Usual 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years?' type questions, told her about my job history, very high level type stuff.
Couple of weeks later I get a letter in the mail and after the usual 'It was great to meet you blah blah blah', it ended with
'State Farm will never consider you for a position with our company.'
Never?! My then fiance (now wife) yelled "WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!" and I racked my brain for anything I might have said or done. The HR lady was attractive, but I didn't stare at any body parts and I didn't make any weird sexual advances (I was nervous enough without *that* going thru my mind).
The college career center floods the local companies with graduates and I was #5 in the waiting room that day. My only guess was they got me confused with someone else.
My fiance wanted me to call them immediately to straighten out any misunderstanding, but I knew what was done, was done. It's not like they would realize "Oh, that's right, it was Bob that kept looking at Karen's breasts, not you...come work for us!" Besides, why would I want to work someplace that didn't know/care who I was?6 -
them: "Is it done yet?"
wisecrack: "Not yet."
them: "How close do you think you are to being done?"
wisecrack:"Dunno. It's going smooth though."
them:"well do you think it'll be done in a few days?"
wisecrack:"Well I don't know. Depends on if you want to keep playing 20 questions instead of letting me work."
them:"Well I'm just excited."
Wisecrack: "Ok."
Literal conversation I just had ten minutes ago.
Less excited each day I have to answer the same set of questions, sometimes multiple times a day as if I know the answer.
What do I look like, a professional developer?1 -
Manager : what is "looks good" in code review comment??? You have to be more detailed.
Me in next code review : It is not aesthetically pleasing, but it gets the job done. -
For our business we are paying the highest plan the ISP provides (240 mbps) but we get 110 kb/s. Wtf!! You write them, they answer “give your address”, done, “we doesn’t see any problems”, calls a friend that also uses Telenet, “do you have problems”, “yes, no internet”. What de F*** is wrong?? It’s nearly a month like that!! They really need to do something!!16
-
Yeah, maybe I can solve your problem in 5 minutes with you. But first you have to spend 5 minutes explaining it to me, and I need to spend 5 minutes listening, and after we're done, it takes 5 minutes to remember what I was doing in the first place.
So you better be sure you could not have solved it in 25 minutes googling on your own, or you're effectively saying your time is more valuable than mine.
And if you spend another 5 minutes forcing me to spend 5 minutes listening to your goddam stories about what it was like growing up on your fucking farm, so help me jebus, I will take that idiotic thing you call a mouse and shove it so far up your ass you'll be scrolling with your duodenum.1 -
Start raising tickets/bugs like you were going to the doctors and things would get fixed a lot faster.
X page doesn't work.
Great information there what about the page isn't working?
Doesn't answer the question and gets pissy when you have to ask them again.
If this was a doctor's appointment all you would've done is walked into my office and yelled it hurts over and over.
Then proceeded to shit on my floor as you're leaving because I didn't diagnose the problem fast enough.
What were you trying to do when the system took a crap?
What did the red text say?
Can you take a screenshot? because the old saying a picture paints a thousand words holds some truth.
If you can go to the doctor and give them a full run down of when you got sick and what symptoms you got in the same order they happened why do you struggle to do the same when reporting a bug.4 -
So i was talking to my client the other day and this is what happened....
Me: So what features do you want in the Progress Tracker in the app.
Client: (takes his IPAD out and opens the FitBit app) This is a really nice progress tracker.
Me: Alright so what features would you like in Progress Tracker, eg: would you maybe like them to check in everyday making sure that they have done exercise or something.
Client: *Shows me his goal in steps (which was 10,000 if anyone was wondering) and shows me other features of the app and not telling me what to do in his own one* These look nice.
Me: Alright so do you want a Step Tracker, Calories Tracker etc.
Client: Nooooo, I want other things.
Me: Ok lets get discussing what are these "other things"
Client: *Continues to show me the FitBit app*
Me: *facepalm* -
i remember how my father was angry at me, that i "only play games" on the computer. Cause what else can you do there? We had multiple wars about how much nobody will i be. Well I wasn't playing I was learning. Now i have my own family, got many life goals done. i dont consider me as nobody but my father still thinks of me as a young boy, at least he's sometimes proud. Sorry guys gad to lay it off. :-)3
-
I have found the solution to my general distaste for frontend work:
Bourbon
You see, i generally dislike working on the frontend. Mostly due to it being what I do every week at work. But during my xmas break I decided to look more into some advanced css to get shit done in more effective and better architectured ways.
SCSS makes it somewhat better. But what really makes it awesome is the bourbon.
Yay for alcohol.
In my defense, I barely ever drink. A couple of glasses before a coding session serve me pretty good.16 -
This rant is not about avoiding bad company but instead: If you find your self in a bad company make sure to note what is bad in terms of:
1. What is wrong?
2. Is it wrong by your book or by everyone's book?
3. How things should be done if you were in charge?
4. Are you able to be productive if those "wrong" things where done correctly? For example if they should have used gitlab cli for auto deployment, do you know how to do that? No? Learn. Yes? Move to the next item in the list
There is no way to avoid bad companies unless you are really lucky, just make the best out of where you are now :)2 -
Honestly I frankly do not care for your title, I care for what you've done and can do.
You may be "more qualified" in research, but if you have no idea how to write software, you're not qualified in software engineering, and frankly, you shouldn't be telling me how to write my code if you don't even understand the use case.
And then don't pretend you own it??????????? The fuck man. I'll sink you.3 -
"Hey {name}",
I see you did this raspberry pi project and this is why we called you in for an interview.
Have you done any projects that's relevant to the company? Because your pi project isn't exactly what we're looking for
I know we advertised back end and front end roles for this position. You would be ideal for the front end position ...but our team is backend and the front end position would be at another office
I am so frustrated with companies like these -
!rant
If you don't even know what MySQL is, fuck off and let me do my job. Don't insist that you can't find the solution to the problem. That's why I'm here. Your incompetence and persistence are slowing me down and if you really want your stuff to be done on time, don't even dip your fingers into my codes. I know you may think that I need help, but your help is useless if you have zero knowledge and can't even understand the solutions given in stack overflow. I'm fine doing this on my own, so fuck off. Just. fuck. off.6 -
Things that seem "simple" but end up taking a long ass time to actually deploy into production:
1. Using a new payment processor:
"It's just a simple API, I'll be done in 2 hours"
LOL sure it is, but testing orders and setting up a sandbox or making sure you have credentials right, and then switching from test to life and retesting, and then... fuck
2. Making changes to admin stats.
"'I just have to add this column and remove that one... maybe like a couple of hours"
YOU WISH
3. Anything Javascript
"Hah, what, that's like a button, np"
125 minutes later...
console.log('before foo');
console.log(this.foo)
etc..2 -
I made a New Year's Resolution to take more of an interest in my Internet privacy. Feel like it's something I should have done a long time ago. I've stopped using Google search (DuckDuckGo instead), moved away from my Gmail account (Tutanota instead) and stopped using Chrome (Firefox/Firefox Focus instead). I've had my Gmail account since they first announced it and you could only sign up if someone invited you. It felt good to delete 7000 emails and what I estimate must have been 13-14 years of Google/YouTube searches. Currently experimenting with VPNs, considering paying for ProtonVPN soon.9
-
Fuck unreasonable deadlines. Just do your stuff as if you have the time of the world. Stop compromising the quality of your work and things are going to be done when they're done. Good quality stuff that's worth the wait.
I started to tell this to myself this week. For months now I took the bait that everything is urgent. And whatever crap management want has to be done yesterday. But.... Well... They pushed it too effing far.
Redo this module that took the former team about six months to finish. You have 10 days.
Well... What? Everyone is saying yes?... Everyone going full code monkey making no progress?
This is the moment I stop compromising and stop listening to your suggestions. I am going to do what I know how to do, the way I know it works, and I will not cut one corner based off your suggestions. I'm sorry, I've been dealing with this shit for too long already, and I don't want to suffer the consequences of degrading the quality of what I write anymore.5 -
You have a meeting with a really really important client who is a typical client from hell who constantly changes his mind about everything and then blames you for “not getting things done” and always says “this is not what I asked for” every god damn time.
Anyway, he now jokingly asks you if you think he has been a troublesome client and before you have time to answer he continues the meeting.
What do you do? Do you suck it up like a weakling and disappear up your own asshole or do you tell him what a monster he is?5 -
Over the last year, I’ve only started learning computer science at uni, never done it before.
I’ve done units in:
- Alg. and programming fundamentals in python
- Intro to comp sci
- alg. and data structures
- theory of computation
Guess the point of this is, “why do people code, what aspirations do you all have?”
Cause rn, I’m all about “I have no idea what I’m doing, coding just seemed cool and I wanted to try it out.” Don’t know where to go
Someone inspire me???
Here is a legit reason for you to brag about what you do and what you’re going to do 😉13 -
So you have an organization that flirts with scrum and wants to be agile. You have non-crossfunctional teams who don't know what agile is. You have product owner who doesn't want to do backlog, but instead acts like project manager and asks for statuses and assigns tasks to peple. He wants the teams to find out what needs to be done and fill the backlog themselves - and then raport to him. You have business owers who noone knows who they are. You have project managers, who don't fit the whole scrum hierarchy. These project managers insist calling scrum masters "team leaders". Also these project managers think scrum is silly and don't want anything to do with it. And then you have higher program management that think this whole scum thing is better than sliced bread and everything is going just dandy!
Oh yeah, also highest organization management thinks that we are on the right track. We just need be more agile but less agile and work more efficiently whitout really saying, what the hell are we supposed to do.
Basically every day is like going to the zoo. Without the fun part.6 -
Been getting a lot of troll / clown / clueless (?) comments on my posts recently. Select favorites include:
"Why do you have a login form on your website?" wut
"Why didn't you throw away that API key?" wut
"Why do you even need to access your apps' servers?" wut
There are just SO many amazing devs here who have NEVER had do any of those things, I'm quite literally an idiot and don't know what I'm doing, sorry for my ignorance. I'd forgotten that there is only exactly one way to build software, I wish I'd done it "that" way sooner! Foolish me.
Really not sure if trolls, clowns, or clueless. Don't care. 🤡🤡🤡12 -
WTF IS SUPPORT FOR?
A: Can you help fix X?
B: Can you help Y?
C: I see Z just crashes, fix it.
Me (in my mind): Can you tell me WTF is the actual problem and what investigation you have done?
Why the fuck are we paying you monkeys?
My company should just pay me all your salaries, and I will write a monitoring system to send out these types of "alerts" in a month.4 -
I have a 16 year old son who is off-and-on showing interest in learning electronics. He wants to work for NASA someday. I’ve looked at dozens of Arduino and Raspberry Pi kits but I feel like he would benefit not so much from “mostly done for him” types of kits that are more like toys, but the kind that teach more fundamentals like resistors, capacitors, transistors, relays, etc. In other words, knowing first what the principles are behind the fancier kits. Do any of you have a recommendation of kits that start with the fundamentals, but that can still be inspiring and engaging?11
-
You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.
No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!
I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.
I have better things to do.
Your lack of planning isn't my priority.3 -
My project manager just asked me if we need to do a release in order for the changes we have done to be seen in prod.
Yes… what do you think a release means?4 -
I just did a weird thing... I am used to ++ with a double tap... So, I am on relay for Reddit and like the post and I double tap it expecting an up vote. What have you done to me devRant???
-
#confession
I don't know what you guys think but I freaking love programming my own Minecraft client. It sounds childish but I love to see server owners rage when they see their Servers dying because of my exploits. It's a good feeling.
But I got 3 DOS attacks afterwards so there is a high risk to make lifetime enemy's.
Let us all post our dark side of knowledge and the shit we have done to amuse ourselves!11 -
Keep this in mind: I don't like WordPress and PHP at all!!!
So a couple of days ago my boss asked me if I could extend a custom made WordPress plugin made by our intern. First thought: sure why not? Boss says: it has to be done in less than 100 hours of work (an estimate done by my boss and the intern). Me: I can't tell you that before I have seen the code and what functionality has to be in the extension. Boss: Cool, look it over this weekend and tell me if you want to do it or not.
I looked it through and my answer will probably be: NO WHERE IN HELL am I gonna are this in less that 100 hours! 1. no tests has been performed so I have absolutely no clue if his code works.
2. variable names are mostly: $string_query (whatever that means?), $result, $string_temp and so on.
3. Methods and functions are more than 250 lines long, with shitty formatting, and more comments than code. WTF?
4. The estimate has been made by an intern and my boss (doesn't know much about programming). I haven't been consulted about it....
5. No version control. No branches, no commits other than initial commit. Great.
6. Most comments in the code just tells me what I can read from the code. What it returns and what it takes as params. Can I please know wtf your method call named $booking->run () does? I still haven't found this method in the code after 1 hour of intensively looking for it...
FFS man... Not gonna do this, even though I thought it would have been an interesting project initially.
Sorry for the long rant... I just wish the intern would have consulted me about all this shit, since he obviously have bad practices. *sigh*6 -
Please. No. What have you done?
https://github.com/f/...
"I want you to act as an interviewer. I will be the candidate and you will ask me the interview questions for the ________ position. I want you to only reply as the interviewer. Do not write all the conservation at once. I want you to only do the interview with me. Ask me the questions and wait for my answers. Do not write explanations. Ask me the questions one by one like an interviewer does and wait for my answers. My first sentence is 'Hi'"3 -
PM: I’m not asking what you were doing, I’m asking what was done
me: losers are asking, champions go and do it. This is what I did. The only thing I hear from you is questions. Meanwhile leaders are always a part of the answer. With that loser mentality, you’re never gonna be an MVP.
I’m a neural network powered parrot with a supercar brain. No matter the business guru speak BS you throw my way, I’m gonna wipe the floor with you in your own game. You have no chance. You’re that mediocre type of person who buys a rolex, the same one Gary V has, with the hope it would fix your self-confidence. The only thing I see in your eyes is your shattered ego.4 -
Great week, been super productive and very happy about.
*wild junior boss appears*
"You should have done it differently! You didn't know it and it's your fault for not asking me about stuff you didn't know existet. I often screw things up and blame others, but i made the boss like me so it's okay. And since i lost my spine some time ago, i will now go suck my own dick and feel awesome . "
Not sure that is exactly what he said, but he meant it. -
From a few years of programming experience, I come to know that "we cannot write perfect code."
What I mean by this is no matter how perfectly you write code, but if you have a peek on that code after about 3 months, you will be like, "I could have done a lot of things in a better way." Provided the code is atleast of 100 lines. -
The only type of client I like being, is a hostile one.
That's why I intend to answer every question of the dev team, with a question.
"So would you like this banner to be blue, or green?"
Does green evoke the same emotions as blue?
"Probably not, but we're asking you so we know how to finish the design..."
Does a design have a will of its own?
"Ok... What do you think about the new e-mail feature?"
Does anyone use e-mail nowadays?
"There are plenty of people who use e-mail professionally."
Are you a professional?
"I don't think this collaboration is going to work out"
Are we done?
(Parody of Ron Swanson) -
Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off
Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.
Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.1 -
The only thing I studied from HTML is that you have to close anything you have opened.../>
I already had some experience with C++ and suddenly they suggested me to take a mentoring.
My mentor - Well, we're going to learn HTML.
- I'm busy. I'm learning python...
- What have you done? Did you learn the HTML?
- Eeh I need to do a neutral network project for the uni. Wait please...
- It's time to learn HTML.
- Eeh I have a deadline in these days. I have to make an Ethereum smart contract. Wait please...
- HTML!
- WAIT!
Finally I asked my mentor to stop this fucking recursion. I'm not going to learn it.1 -
Listen to your developer when they have an idea that will save you time or money. If she's wrong she will fix her mistake because she wants to be good at what she does. If you're wrong you'll be crawling back to her and end up paying twice as much to get it done your way and then the right way.
-
I'm curious .... Devs seem to love quotes that try to give you some profound wisdom
Personally I don't care for them kind of like reading cards but id like to know if you guys have any 🤔
Mainly what you think of when you need to get things done what keeps you driven7 -
I am making my first dashboard/summary page without a tutorial! Once I learn D3 via a Udemy course, this will be 93% done!
I just want want to see what you guys think?
Some text is removed as I shared it on FB and the business I am making it for is following me and they have NO idea that I am doing it for them.5 -
tell my boss on Friday that I'll work through the weekend to get done work done on some python code.
he doesn't give out vpn access so I can't use our company git so I put the project on a flash drive to work on.
come into work and I have an email. on Sunday he did everything I said I was doing (and had done) and then refactors the entire repo so even if he hadn't done the work, all of what I did became useless.
His way is the only way. but good luck getting him to tell you how he wants it. you just have to do a bunch of work only for him to tell you he doesn't like the way you did things and then he does it himself.
makes me realize why their other programmers didn't stick around. because they had to work so closely with this guy.
glad I started looking for other jobs sooner then later.1 -
what is the purpose of a degree?
what value does it convey?
isnt it better if you just show all the work and projects youve done on github as proof of what kind of knowledge do you actually have? plus where you worked before on linkedin? thats not enough, right? a paper needs to decide how much knowledge you have? is that it?11 -
I mean, impossible for who? For someone working 9-5 without procrastination, sure there are.
I have been a student and a procrastinator most of my life, so yeah, a 40 hour week's work is possible in two days with minimum sleep.
Also done massive projects in a week's time. If you know what you're doing, it's not that impossible.
Although, I find working with others almost impossible in some occasions, specially where you don't see eye to eye despite however much you try. (time-wise, speaking)9 -
I see more and more people encouraging people to learn Haskell. But why ? What can you do with it, that you would not do with another language? what have you done with haskell?7
-
Don't. Especially while you're not a senior specialist. It doesn't really matter bad company or good: they all have something bad, they all have something good. From the bad examples you will learn WHAT, HOW and *WHY* should not be done. From the good examples you will learn what and why works and how efficiently.
Next month I'm gonna be working on a project that is SO bad I will flood DR with rants. But I'm looking forward to it, because I know I will learn what else should not be done.
Better learn from their mistakes than your own2 -
Well, my country has a Degree called Bsc.CSIT which literally means Bachelors of Science Computer Science and Information Technology. I completed that degree and was employed right after I completed my degree. I have worked in two offices and no one cares what degree I have.
So I think Degree is not that necessary here in Nepal as long as you can get the job done.
Now I am about to pursue a Big Data related degree hope that is not as worthless as my current degree.1 -
When you have to get app thread dumps using tools provided to you: a rock, a hammer and a steel rod.
Fuck it. I'm building my own tools.
I'm pissed.
Step aside and let me show how it's done. And STOP GIVING TASKS "TO DEVELOP A TOOL X" TO TEAMS WHICH HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE TOOL IS TO BE USED, WHAT VARIATIONS MIGHT BE REQUIRED, WHAT PRECISION IS NEEDED, ETC. -
I'm so fucking done with all the hate the modern web is getting. If you don't need it, don't use it. Shut the fuck up if somebody else uses it, because he needs it.
And that whole war between libraries is so fucking ridiculous. Why do I have to feel bad for using a tool that does exactly what I want, and provides me a great dev experience.
No I am not going to use a stack of 4 technologies because "native is faster". Fuck you. I don't care, and you shouldn't either.
I shouldn't even have the need to rant about this, but I'm just in this constant rut, because I feel like no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong. I hate it.4 -
When your teacher tells you to run a model that uses a 1gb dataset on a computer that has 256 mb ram.
Ah, what sin have I done, my lord? :/ -
So, you took the opportunity when I went to the bathroom mid meeting cause of an emergency to say the code would be ready by tonight, even though you have not done 10% of what you need to do?
Good fucking luck with that. I already asked for the rest of the day off soooo
Let's see what you've got cunt.4 -
“We will send you a code challenge :)”
Or if we are being serious, I like it when we discuss projects I or they have worked on and what was interesting and challenging about them, and what was done to overcome obstacles and why. I really like when we discuss potential options and why one was taken over another one. -
You know that feeling when the junior programmers do their job quickly, properly, and elegantly just like how you would have done it? :)
Yeeeeah, me neither. What the fuck is this dog shit?? God dammit! Why we have 2MB of CSS?? Do you even you this jQuery plugin?? What do you mean frontend.php and frontend2.php?? Why is this block of code indented all the way to the right?? "Just 1 bug left" OH REAAAAALLLYYYYY?4 -
Rant
Arg! Stack overflow why are you so full of argumentative dumb wits. I post serious question for a serious answer and what do I get? People who apparently know my situation better than me and have decided what I want to be done shouldn't be done. They don't even know what I am making. Either answer the question or move on!!!5 -
company lands huge enterprise project
promises client to deliver it in MIN_TIME_REQUIRED/4
No architect, no technical lead, no seniors, no designer just juniors and interns in the project.
all the project time wasted by manager making shit decisions and not giving a fuck what devs have to say about how project will be disaster if goes like this.
Now the project is officially under raging fire
Boss to dev : What happend to the project. Why are things not working?
Dev: You made decisions not us.
Boss: I don't buy it. Work 24hrs until this is done.
Dev: F*** you and this project. I am resigning. -
I really like how there is something new everyday that you can do to protect your privacy even more 😄3
-
Dear Devranters, since recruiters love personal websites (and I'm looking for work), I spent the last two days making my own personal site using all the tools I know, including some 3d modeling of the stack I know
DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SITES? can you share so I can compare? thanks.
site is here https://bransongitomeh.github.io and I'm attaching the 3D render of my stack done in blender and rendered using cycles
the site itself is done in HTML and CSS is using some paid bootstrap template and I put it all together using https://github.com/BransonGitomeh/... so its minified and stripped down (could do more) and it's cute I think.
I'm not sure if recruiters care if I should use react and vue and angular, lol. I figured I should use the right tool for the Job.
what do you think?39 -
I'm writing a book that teaches everything I have learned in the past 20 years about writing small niche software and selling it.
Need some help from my fellow DevRanters.
Anyone who comments here with something constructive gets a free copy when it's done.
When I say:
"Why don't you just write your own software and sell it to end users"
What is the first thing that pops into your head?
Is it "I don't know how to advertise"
or
"that's a pipe dream"
or
"I tried starting my own business, but _______"
or
"I am doing that, i have this side project "
(how long have you spent on that side project?)
I need to know all your concerns questions fears, skepticism etc around the idea of writing your OWN software.
After 20 years I have like, so much knowledge, but it's sometimes hard to get it all out, UNLESS someone has a question or concern, then, out it comes.
So, I'm going to (hopefully) collect all the questions here ... and answer them, and it'll help me out a lot to extract this knowledge.
A lot of stuff I do without even thinking and realizing all the years it took to even know that.
What would you like to know the most?
You have the skills, you have the know how, you can probably see it in your head, so what's stopping you from making the leap?question your own business why the fuck haven't you started yet no more bosses no more clients residual income from a one time effort no more teams32 -
I'm thinking of making a project that will help me during the upcoming school year. Pretty much an assistant that can fetch quick answers from google and a few other basic tasks. What projects have you guys done with your work? P.S. I might want one or two people to also contribute so comment down below if you'd like to help (won't be open source)6
-
What is the most sadistic thing you have done as a developer? What ways have you intentionally fucked up other people with your code/projects?4
-
*Screaming Internally* I'm really, REALLY, stressed.
We just entered the final sprint for the finishing of a major project. This is my first "Launch" type achievement since I started working as a programmer(I started almost exactly a year ago)
We have a lot of work done on the project, and it's very clearly near "Completion" but we all know a programmers job is never done.
But specifically I've been thinking about the code i've worked on. I've been at the burnt out phase of the development for a week now, I haven't been getting a lot done, and I can't help but stress that my code is going to be what breaks on launch day and i'm going to get canned or something...
It's not that i'm a bad programmer(at least I don't think) but more or less that I just have been so stressed I think I've made some mistakes, and I think it's going to blow up in my face, and I might lose my job over it.
How do you guys deal with work stress?1 -
Little brother wants learn programming and asked me if I could help him learn it.
"Sure, I'll show you how I learned it."
Gave him a book for starters to go through it. To have a slightly better time, I'll read his code and recommend some ways to go.
In my opinion it's important to learn to learn by yourself and learn to help yourself. Therefore I think this is kinda a good way to start with a bit of supervision from me.
What do u think of it, or how would you have done it?
I mean sure I could be some kind of teacher, but with a fulltime job + uni I don't really have time for that.4 -
Startup: We are looking for interns. Do this project that we know will take you a week. But your chances mostly depend on this project.
Me looking for my first internship: Takes complete 2 days to submit the project which had so many open-ended questions. They review and say I aced the project and would like to interview.
Interviewer 1: From the beginning starts asking me if I myself have done this or that, gets thrown some questions that I answer immediately and then suddenly get accused that I must have copied from a tutorial on an open-ended question. I used what I learned from my previous projects, what do you want from me. You never specified all the cases. Then he said is done.
Interviewer 2: Hello, we are a new startup. We will make you work 40 hours a week. Then he lied. Are you allowed to lie?? He said we are unpaid (I read it wasn't) to ask what motivates me. The other interviewer on being asked did say that it wasn't unpaid. By this point, I was done.
Got rejected today. Wasted almost 3 days on their stupid project. I am so salty!!!19 -
I hate React. I keep reading that people have problem of grasping it, but that's not the case for me. I get it, I understand it, but I hate with passion HOW it's done knowing how nice it's done elsewhere. What really triggers me is how ugly it looks, both from architecture and code level. To me it really say a lot when even code shown in documentation looks ugly, and while reading it you ask ourself constantly "why it's done this way?". When I read React being called an "elegant" solution something explodes in me. Did you saw Svelte? Vue? Damn, even Alpine.js?
I just cannot how overengineered this API is. Even doing simplest things there produces so much junk code written only because this is what library requires. Why? I feel like working with it is a punishment.
And scalability and maintainability? I've never seen large-scale projects more messed up than those wrote with React. And yes, you can blame teams working on them for lack of skills, but it is the library which encourages or not good practices also, and I've never seen such bad situation with other libraries/frameworks.8 -
When you bring work home at the weekend with the hope of getting loads done and then you have a brain freeze and can't remember what you need to do first ....... 😡
-
I HATE SPRING JPA HIBERNATE AND EVERYTHING RELATED TO FUCKING JAVA.
Everything behaves like it was created with a human as an afterthought, so it torments people and target audience are masochists. This whole ecosystem is an abomination of the software world.
Every fucking error has a thousand possible solutions for every single person AND NOT A SINGLE ONE WORKS!!!
The stupid thing will just keep throwing its internal problems in a stack DUMP DIARRHEA that you have to sort through to find anything remotely useful! I DON’T give a fuck about your stupid internal implementation, just tell me what the fuck you want!
And you have to play the guess game and find the right combination of their stupid little configurations to make it barely work. I couldn’t believe reading stackoverflow, people are just poking at it hoping it will work. And I’m literally stuck and can’t fix the damn thing no mater what I do, and I’m abandoning it.
I won’t touch this pice of shit with a twenty meter pole ever again! Last time I was this frustrated was the stupid java ee. Nothing in the software world has frustrated me this much. How does one even come up with this…
I’m done… I’m just done…5 -
working on google maps fixing functionality and here manager came and said: what have you done in 3 hours? why extra space between columns fix this padding stop whatever you doing, padding is important. -_-
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That one moment you create something so magical that you never even intended to write and don't even realise what you have done until after it is done 😮1
-
Don't fix what ain't broken.
Alright.. that might not be 100% what need to be done at times, as other out-of-scope things tend to break these things too.
Nevertheless, if you fix what ain't broken,be sure to have it working before you switch over. -
You know shit is getting real when you save and you watch your code formatted start rolling through your code like you're watching someone ... write code...
-indent here-
-pause-
-indent here-
Me: Oh man what have I done?!?!?!4 -
I see it evolving the same way it always has done. The technology will keep changing for the better and the best stuff will emerge on top.
You have a choice to fight the current of new technology that is always flowing by learning and adapting to what comes. If you don't, and you stay stagnant with your chosen tech and skill level, the current will eventually carry away your relevance.
It's natural selection. You have to fight or die. -
I'm so used to phones that when I stretched with my 3DS in my hand I was fully prepped for the screens to auto-rotate.
what have you done to me3 -
Does anybody has an idea what to "code" when you have too much free time? I am done with school and waiting for my university acceptance. No Websites.
TL;DR
Project ideas?13 -
EVERY FUCKING TIME I HAVE TO ASK FOR SOME DNS CONFIGURATION OTHER THAN A SINGLE "A" RECORD THE TI HEAD MANAGES TO FUCK UP...
WHAT THE FUCK IS SO HARD DUDE???
CNAME? OK!
FUCKINGSUBDOMAIN > FUCKING.ALIAS.COM
THIS TIME OUR FUCKING PROVIDER CANT MANAGE ROOT DOMAIN CNAMES SO WHAT DID HE DO?
SIMPLE SAID "ALL DONE" AND ONE WEEK LATTER PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING BECAUSE THE FUCKING ROOT DOMAIN ISN'T WORKING...
COME ON DUDE, JUST KILL YOURSELF.
AND FOR THE FUCKING MILLIONTH TIME: DOMAIN REGISTAR AND DOMAIN MANAGER ARE TWO SEPARATE FUCKING THINGS! YOU CAN REGISTER YOUR FUCKING DOMAIN ON GODADDY AND MANAGE IT ON FUCKING CLOUDFLARE BY CONFIGURING THE FUCKING DNS SERVERS5 -
Anything i try in this life, it fails. I have done hundreds, and have 0 successful projects. When someone asks me "what have you done in these 1/4th of a century existing on this useless floating space rock?" ...... I have nothing to say. It would appear as if I've done Nothing. I have nothing to showcase of projects because its not running live on production. It's all on private repositories. The more i try the harder i fail. I am energy drained. I am uninspired. I am unmotivated. Seeing how some 19 year old NOBODY kid just comes out of nowhere, makes NFT project, scams people for millions of dollars and haves fun in his life and doesnt have to work anymore, is fueling me with RAGE. This is starting to become madness. Am i having too high goals and ambitions and that's why i percieve myself as if im unsuccessful? But how is that possible if a 19 year old nobody is capable of becoming a multi millionaire by scamming people in web3? If i lower my goal expectations, then I have no reason to live. I wouldnt care if i die tomorrow or continue living. I wouldnt bother looking left right while crossing the road because I Do Not Care. What must i do to succeed just Once and meet my goals and expectations? I dont understand. I hate life. Life is empty and meaningless. I have became a Nihilist and i believe in that religion more than anything. It makes no sense that someone scams millions by doing jack shit at a young age while someone struggles and tries hard his whole life and still isnt successful even 0.01% of what the 19 year old is. IT. IS. NOT. FAIR.11
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Always Stick to One Task at a Time
Whenever I’m trying to learn how to do new stuff, or if I have a project where I’d have to figure out how to do a lot of things, I try to just pick a particular task and attack that.
Often times in programming, you’ll hold a lot of context in your head depending on what you’re working on, so it’s best to focus on one thing and try to get it done. There are a lot of ways you can tackle a single problem, so a lot of things will depend on what solution you end up choosing. For example, if you’re trying to build a CMS website that build websites where it will deploy things to each user, you could organize a site where it’s a big giant app where everyone has a specific subdomain, or you can make it so that each individual subdomain is a separate instance of your app with configuration changes. There are pros and cons to each approach, so this is where the judgment comes in and why some people say programming is an art, since you constantly have to weigh different tradeoffs.1 -
Tired of all those timetables, application, motivational quotes ...
Coded my own assistant : Robo1100
Still full of ifs but properly understands what I mean (I don't have s very wild vocabulary )
Can I call it artificial intelligence?
Some of his features:
- determining current tasks according to date and time
- tracks the task and show you how many percent you've done
- plays different musics according to your mood (if you start nagging he'll play motivational rock and so on)
- does simple calculations for you
-gives you simple informations like time , whether,...
- remind you the events of the day
- reads a rsnfom cool quote at startup
- most importantly speaks with s human voice
-...
Any recommendations?7 -
I have made a lot of small changes in my app like minor bug fixes, Animation, optimizations, better database management, new options, overall interface improvements, ... to give the application a better overall appearance. Then I decide to show it to my Client.
"From what I can tell, you haven't done much since last time"1 -
the closer i get to the ending
the higher the resistance
the harder i fight the battle to win
the harder life tries to prevent me from winning
just when we were about to finish
just in that moment life did its best to not make it happen
why
what do you want from me
i am just a human being
what wrong have i done in trying to help mankind
what is happening
why is this happening
what... do you want..... from me.......3 -
Alright, epic throwback to high school
-So I'm taking this CS course on java
-Teacher seems legit
-Knows his shit
-Gets the job done
-Introduces the class to an IDE
-Such wow
-I whip out my Eclipse Oxygen (with Hello World preloaded, obviously) like the nerd I am
-Suddenly:
-BlueJ
-Literally the worst editor ever
-And teacher somehow expects us to work in it with git
WTF.
For those of you who have never worked with BlueJ, thank God you haven't.
/end rant
What new languages should I learn? I'm working on C++, but PHP seems fun...11 -
You can't have a boss like this: I was assigned to a job that has been delayed for 5 months; It has to be finished by Tuesday. the development team is done with what is necessary, but I don't like this situation2
-
I recently went to an office to open up a demat account
Manager: so your login and password will be sent to you and then once you login you'll be prompted to change the password
Me: *that's a good idea except that you're sending me the password which could be intercepted* ok
Manager: you'll also be asked to set a security question...
Me: *good step*
Manager: ...which you'll need to answer every time you want to login
Me: *lol what? Maybe that's good but kinda seems unnecessary. Instead you guys could have added two factor authentication* cool
Manager: after every month you'll have to change your password
Me : *nice* that's good
Manager: so what you can do change the password to something and then change it back to what it was. Also to remember it keep it something on your number or some date
Me: what? But why? If you suggest users to change it back to what it was then what is the point of making them change the password in the first place?
Manager: it's so that you don't have to remember so many different passwords
Me: but you don't even need to remember passwords, you can just use softwares like Kaspersky key manager where you can generate a password and use it. Also it's a bad practice if you suggest people who come here to open an account with such methods.
Manager: nothing happens, I'm myself doing that since past several years.
Me: *what a fucking buffoon* no, sir. Trust me that way it gets much easier to get access to your system/account. Also you shouldn't keep your passwords written down like that (there were some password written down on their whiteboard)
Manager: ....ok...so yeah you need sign on these papers and you'll be done
Me:(looking at his face...) Umm..ok4 -
Brought to you from the 5000+ line Java file. Contained within the 1500 line method. I bring you the following pattern. Let's guess all the ways we could've done this better?
- Streams
- For loop
- Iterator
What gets really fun is when this you get this pattern doubly nested so you have a random i's and j's floating all over the place.
Note: this isn't ancient code it was developed about 3 months ago.
[Code has been lightly anonymized]5 -
How much experience do you have in asp.net? Answered. Next question - How about web development, how much in that? These so called fucking tech recruiters in India are making this industry a mess. These fucking donuts have no clue what are they hiring for, study done on profile is next to zero and then they call you and ask you such questions.
The day was going pretty badly already and this tech recruiter calls me up and starts evaluating my profile and whether it matches with her clients requirement or not! So she starts with some basic stuff and then drops the said pearl of wisdom. After listening that question I went full retard in less than 3 seconds. But our miss mumbo Dumbo proceeds and asks me how many years of experience in xml and Json and whether I have worked on html (!!!!!!). You fucking knucklehead why don't you fucking first have a basic knowledge about your job first and then start dialing? You just caused me a massive migraine attack you dimwitted slack jawed idiot.3 -
I've thought of the perfect analogy for people who constantly interrupt us while we are coding.
It's like you're a mechanic and you are working on a complex engine. You're focused on what you're doing, your hands are filthy, and you're just about to fit the part in that you've been trying to fit in for the past hour.
Someone comes along and asks you to help them open a pickle jar in the middle of your work. So you have to stop what you're doing, wash your hands, and then help them open the jar. By the time you're done your focus has completely shifted, you lost all momentum, and your progress comes to a complete halt.
This is what it's like for us when you come into our office or call us to ask us a question that isn't important or urgent whatsoever. It's especially frustrating when it's the same question that has already been asked 100 times. -
>>Server sind für mich "Neuland".<<
I want to switch to a new server with my website. I have a bunch of questions and hope you beautiful people will help me out.
1. I've decided to switch from shared hosting to an virtual server. Therefore I am going to rent the cheapest VS from hetzner.de. is this a good choice?
2. What do I have to care about and what stuff there is to be done in the beginning?
3. The reasons I want to switch are more root accessibility and I want to switch to https. What about that? Is let's encrypt enough?
4. How do I move the server from a to b?
5. What OS should I choose?
6. What about security?
7. Any further advice from experienced people is welcome!
Sry for those noob questions, but I've never been in touch with server work...23 -
One responsibility of our team is general code QA for the entire dev department, DevMgr walks in our area yesterday…
DevMgr: “Has anyone reviewed the new WPF threaded model execution code?”
- everyone on the team responds “no”
DevMgr: “Can we get a review on that code ASAP? If it works as well as the developer said, it’s going to solve the lock up problems users are experiencing and automatic logging of errors.”
DevA: “Well, no amount of code is going to stop users from performing bad searches locking up the user-interface. That code is just a band-aid around the real problem. If the developers would write unit tests first …”
- rant about 5 minutes on unit testing that had nothing to do with why the DevMgr was here
DevB: “Yea, the code probably isn’t written to handle threads correctly. All the threading they’ve done so far is –bleep-”
DevMgr: “Oh, I wasn’t aware of that. Get me the results of the code review and if they don’t have unit tests, delete it from source control and let the developer know it’s not up to our standards.”
OMFG!! You have not even seen the code!
OK, DevA ..what the –bleep- does unit testing have anything to do with the user interface! You know the DevMgr is too dim to understand the separation of concerns. Shut your pompous ‘know-it-all’ mouth.
DevB…what the –bleep- have ever done in WPF? You manage the source control and haven’t written any C# in two years and never, ever written code for any significant project. Take that “handle threads correctly” and shove it up your –bleep-. Pompous –bleep-hole. Go back and watch youtube and read your twitter while the grown-ups get the work done.3 -
Demo
Backend Team : No one want to listen to technical details. A short 2 min demo what we have done.
Shareholders : Have you done anything?
Frontend Team : half an hour demo of validators and fields that sum values from other fields
Shareholders: Wow that is awesome, great job, nice to see, great value, lot of progress.4 -
Happy New year
May you have a year that is filled with love and bugs, laughter and debugging , brightness and dark theme , hope and distro hopping and little less windows vs linux shit 😂 please arch guys you too 🙄😝
Wish you all a great year 😅😛
I rarely post anything but I'm pretty active reading every shit post here. we fucking have a great community here. Few people are going through some real shit , hey you, things will get better don't lose hope but don't just wait on it , things don't ever get better by just wishing. Do what has to be done no matter how hard that decision can be.
Cut all those toxic people from your life doesn't matter who they're. You all deserve better
Believe in yourself. Everyone is going through some real shit. Keep fighting. Live for yourself.
You got only one life live upto your fill potential.
Regret is the worst thing so do whatever the fuck you want to do.
Never give up doesn't matter what you're going through.
And in the end may you "live" all the days of your life. -
Day 7 of devWholesome...
Happy November guys! It's a new month which means new goals! Set some goals for this month that you want to get done. See how much you get done this month. Mark your calendars for deadlines of things you want to get finished. Don't forget to keep up with the work you already have. Comment below what your goals are this month! And as always make the most of your day! -
What is it about clients that provokes them to ask about the same feature every day? No, it’s not fucking done yet, I don’t have a team of devs under me who work overtime to finish it overnight. It’s not going to get done any faster if you keep fucking bothering me about it.
-
My tl sits in The room next to me.
Today he came in to me and asked me how it looked with The release.
I asked him What he meant by that.
"Well, we had release on friday, but you never contacted me about it."
Me: "What? Friday? Since when did we have releases with two weeks inbetween? And why havent I gotten this news?"
Tl: "Well, we don't usualy, but you know... Any way, can you have it done by today?"
Me, 10sec away from a cardiac arrest: "NO, are you insane? You have to tell me about this earlier than the same day."
Tl: "Yeah, but there's been so much work recently.. Well, we'll talk later."
Omfg...6 -
So we finished our requirement ( barely) for a new client. Next is data modelling and system design.
We started with data modelling. Unfortunately the lead developer does not know the difference between database and data modelling.
me: hey bro, we'll do the database and stuff later, now let's focus on data modelling.
him: (acting like he knows) yeah I have developed a sample design for the "data model".
me: no this is database design.
him: what's the difference?
me: dude, they're totally different. Okay, simple explanation data model is what you want to store, whereas DB design is how you store it.
him: So, if I am not wrong, it's implied that you know what to store if you are talking about how to store it.
me: but you don't know what it is you want to store yet. And one of them precedes the other.
him: Okay, let's start with DB design.
me: What?????? you want to build a house without a plan??? That's it for me I am done !!!
I left the project yesterday, later I heard that, the team members are coders, who think that developing a software is all about coding and fixing errors. -
We have a delivery specification. It's documented and it tells every developer how deliveries have to be done. Every *FUCKING* *SINGLE* *STEP*. For most deliveries you don't even have to think much, just check the steps.
Why do I always stumble across deliveries that are missing vital parts so if you want to reconstruct some project status, because someone is on vacation or has quit, you can't or need hours of investigation? Am I a private investigator, or what?
Am I the only one who tries to make his work comprehensible? -
A bad dev habit I should unlearn?
How about being too stubborn to take an idea out back and put it out of it's misery. You know what I'm talking about. Got some elegant idea in your head, it looks so pretty and masterful. You begin to implement it but straight away, things start looking pretty fucking ugly. You persist though, and persist.
Sooner or later that pretty idea looks like Donald and Hillary decided to spawn a love child. You close your eyes and grit your teeth, unwilling to put the abomination out of it's misery.
You stop and finally open your eyes to look at what you've done. A hideous beast with Gary Johnson's nose, Bernie's voice. Donald's hair, and Hillary's lips stares back at you. Yeah. Now you've wasted hours upon hours and only have a mistake worse than the 2016 American Presidential Election to speak for it.2 -
man you can tell some of these course selling companies are poorly managed (or rather, perhaps NOT managed) when you have to do the same thing over and over again for over TWO YEARS
HELLOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING... PLEASE PUBLISH MY COURSE NOW
if i'd put the damn thing on Udemy when it was done i'd already be 2-3K richer
...damn, i gotta taper off here with the rage before i reveal my identity at 10K
🤡🤡🤡🤡14 -
When a client says they have changed that need to be done urgently.. When I ask them for a list of what needs to be done, all I hear are crickets... Not my loss if you let your website suffer.2
-
Friend: I have a idea that will make us millions!
Me: okay, what is it?
Friend: oh its very simple, what I need you to do is build a payment gateway that supports X billing platforms, Y security protocols, crash proof, blah blah blah... Should be done in a week right?1 -
Just because I know Laravel, Django, Angular2 and React two companies are offering me double the salary I am getting now. But I love my current work place and I might get the amount here too but maybe after six or seven months. I love it because there are better developers here than me and I am learning a lot. Is my decision to stay ok? What would have you done?(btw I am staying anyway)4
-
Sometimes I really feel humiliated in my lab.
We have several presentation/discussion groups in my lab that meet once a week or so where members present their progress reports. Generally people in my lab are not so enthusiastic about them. Which is okay, I also don't like doing presentations, but you know, you have to improve somehow and get feedback somehow.
So I've been in a really passive group for a while and I decide to join this other group since they seem to have good discussions, but nope fuck me.
The first time I present, the professor doesn't show up since he has some meeting, so obviously nobody cares to show up. And I'm there presenting for a guy who is half comatose. Alright, I guess that's the price for joining a new team, it's gonna get better next time.
Second time. Spent all night to prepare my presentation and been training my model for two weeks. I am actually really happy with the results of my networks. But the enjoyment of showing some good results, I shall not have.
Meeting leader doesn't show up. Two guys who should present don't show up. Professor doesn't show up. A different professor substitutes him and has no idea what I am talking about and asks stupid questions that don't really have an answer. Fuck me, I'm so angry, this shit is a waste of time. If you don't show up, care to fucking send an email or a message on slack, but guess you're too fucking retarded to even do that.
I'm so done with this. I've gotten better feedback from reddit, than what I've cumulatively gotten from my laboratory. I'm a moment away from walking up to the meeting leader and telling him that the meetings are stupid and a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, my professor is really nice and knowledgeable, but he fails to see that some people in the laboratory are shit.
What do I do? How do I deal with these people? Right now they're planning a trip! Why are you planning a trip? WHAT ARE YOU REWARDING YOURSELVES FOR? YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING IN WEEKS? omfg3 -
What do you do when you are to work on something you have never worked on before, and you are stuck, and you are too noob to understand the solutions provided on SO (if any); except pulling your hair and crying? Because that I have already done and you bet it didn't help.1
-
Am I the only one to think companies asking questions such as those for technical interviews don’t understand what software engineering/development is about ?
- How many layers does a webservice have?
- What framework do you use for unit testing ?
- How do you do dependency injection ?
Essentially questions that they deem black and white but really aren’t. Besides isn’t the core of the work to just adapt and learn while being smart about what things you implement ? I don’t get these questions for me it’s a sign that a company doesn’t understand the work I’ll be doing.
I think for a technical interview I’d much rather spend my time on a difficult algo question in the language of my choice for 30mins - 1h than 20mins answering close minded questions that don’t have to be.
This rant is mostly due to the fact I’ve done a few interviews with two companies and both behaved like that, I’m 100% certain I had the skills to do the jobs they were offering me (they both contacted me first) but both ended up denying me because my knowledge on their specific questions wasn’t detailed enough. I could have learnt their stack in about a week so I don’t know why that mentality exists.
I might be wrong about the core of the work though… what do you think?3 -
WTF WTF WTF
FUCK YOU SAMSUNG NOTE 8 NOTES APP
FYI : I was ex iPhone user.
I bought a new Samsung note 8 mobile. It has Easy Do app simillar to Notes.
So I had a meeting with business meetup with potential ideas and leads. And i was writing on this Notes app.
After the meetimg done, I closed the app.
And next day (today) I wanted to check what I have got from meetings. And fucking found that this app does not save it until you press save button.
Okay. I AGREE MAY BE MY FAULT, BUT THAT FUCKING APP SHOULD HAVE ASKED ME WHETHER I WANTED TO SAVE IT OR NOT THE SIMPLEST NOTEPAD WILL DO EVEN YOU TRY TO CLOSE IT.
FUCK IT THAT APP.11 -
@11.30 pm -->BF: "Comm'on now...what Ya still doing there..aren t Ya comeing??? O.o already..."
ME: "Soon hun, i m learning some snake handeling here..hold on now!"
BF: "Yeeahp..Ya are handeling it all right already, you need to put it in the practice too. Come now. !" <<<--grinns.
ME: <<--lifting my glasses up to my head slowly: " I am writing...handwriting...the code!! Python!...?"
BF: "Yeah, i know...i saw yar test -B+.
If ya had done the finances calculus program for our maintance..my building checks, our food, your clothes...you would have more practice to put it into use...and you would have got an A probably..." He s freaking smirks and i went
qwaaak qwaaak qwaak- squachhh
I am so putting it into Rant )
..and i am so keeping him... -
So I was at my second meeting about a project I just joined as a volunteer. There's two teachers, me (1st semester CS), a guy almost graduating and a guy in the second semester. In the first meeting the teachers explained what the project's about and what we need to do. Me, wanting to show that I'm good hoping I'd get offered a paid position in the future, got to the second meeting with some stuff already done in Rust. Teachers mistook me for the 2nd semester student (which, by the way, thinks everything server-side is done in node.js) and told him it was a very good job "he" had done with the rust program. The fucker didn't say shit and just took all credit for what I did.
Later that day I sent an email to everyone with the repo link to make sure they knew I was the one that wrote the program and a month or two down the road I made some pretty awesome work while the other two just sat on their asses, so I think they know it was me.
Nonetheless, I got pretty pissed about that and kinda regret not saying anything at the meeting. I do think I kinda made the right choice of keeping quiet, trying to show team loyalty (?) or something like that.
Should I have done it differently? Would you say something at the meeting if it was you?6 -
If you could have devRant for one platform, or a tool for devRant. What would it be?
I'll work to get it done.6 -
!rant
A (non tech) friend just showed me tensorflow and I am pretty intrigued. Has anyone here ever tried it and what have you done with it?2 -
My manager put "Architecture Diagram" onto my list of tasks. "Do you have a diagram"? came up in our last call.
No, I don't have a diagram like your useless block diagram that shows nothing of what we've done. Instead I have a ton of wiki pages, real documentation, READMEs in each git repo that are detailed and complete, unless you're repos of empty directories, `.keep` files, empty READMEs and blank "TODO" wiki pages!6 -
Me: What's this new icon in the app?
* Long press on the icon *
Nothing
Me: Huh. Ok. I will press it and see what it does.
* Presses it *
You have successfully done what you did not want to do. Congratulations!
WTF! Just tell me what it does when I long press it.1 -
Sometimes I think that getting a degree was the biggest mistake I have ever done.
When professor wants to know why you did the work the way you did and you disagree as polite as you can, he calls you Arogant.. Like what the fuck, if you ask me 4 times why I did not expand the assigned task and I 4 times repeat that I want that shit as abstract as I can get. I already have it 5 times bigger as others god damnit, If you want me to focus on details, ask me to bring a tent..
A little bit of time later another professor assigns you a "Social network for schools"... Like wtf? U want facebook clone for free and in 4 weeks... What is this bullshit? You have mistaken uni for freelancer..
Because fuck you sideways... How dare you to have another classes?
Note for self... Next time open up a hotdog stand..1 -
Me this morning(On Way to Work): Not going to let anything upset me today, i'm going to work, succeed and then have lunch with fam :)
Me In office(Still morning): This song is awesome(song i don't really like)
PM: Meeting Now!
PM In Meeting: What do you have to do?
Me: Some CSS shit. Gotta make things look pretty after they work so beautifully.
PM: OK but be more specific
Me: Layering issues with the popups, the alert input needs some tweaking.
PM: What are you busy with now.
Me: Layering issues.
PM: *As she writes on board* So that's alert, popups, layering issues, input and CSS.
Me: No it's just two tasks.
PM: You've got a lot of work, get started.
Team Leader: It's only two tasks, it's not five.
PM: Oh i thought they were all different.
Me: :|
Me: *Breathe in... Breathe Out*
Me (around 12ish): Fuck! This Dense. Bitch!!
PM 1ish: Meeting Now!
Me: Fuck!
PM: How far are you?
Me: Well i'm about done, just gotta test the changes, if it fails debug it a little and done.
PM: *Explains some shit about what i have to do*
Me: *Knowing what she's already going to say* *Slirps coffee really loud*
PM: You listening?
Me: oh yeah sure.
PM: *Gets pissed says it's because she didn't have coffee yet*
Me: *Slirps coffee while making eye contact*
Me inside: Mwahahahahahahahahaaa!!!1 -
So I have done some solo projects and some group projects now and I saw that Hacktoberfest was on so I went and signed up. I saw some of the things todo and got overwhelmed with the code on the repo. What do you guys think I should start off with in terms of open source projects. I want to get into some open source projects but don't know what to look for or where to start. Any help would be appreciated.1
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I have to confess: I don't use a version control system. But, as of today, I'd like to change that.
I have a few questions for the community:
What VCS are there and what are the differences? I've heard of Git, but are there any others?
Can you recommend any hosting services? I know of Github and Bitbucket. Are there others? Which is better?
Are there any tools you use? Or just the command line application?
Finally: Can you recommend any tutorials for using these VCS?
Thank you in advance,
Somebody who probably should have done this ages ago (me)8 -
Seriously, wtf give the work to someone else, claiming that "I'm too busy to do this", when all that other person does is come asking you for help, and not only do you have to figure out what needs to be done, you need to figure out how the other person fucked it up and try to fix it without hurting any feelings. Oh, and, yes, I was too busy for doing what is essentially double work.
-
Gawds, creating personal portfolio sites must be the toughest task ever. I've never been great at answering 'what do you do for a living?' questions.
Writing paragraphs of self-praise and mostly fake positive self representations are beyond me. Got to get it done though, have new work to showcase. -
I hate workmates who commit every thing they have done for the day with one commit which doesn't even explain what they did! Won't you just commit every fucking major change.. Please? Ffs!
-
I can build my .aab, upload it, have it approved, and release it on Google Play before my stupid .apk IS EVEN DONE PROCESSING ON APP STORE CONNECT
WHAT ARE YOU DOING APPLE FIX YOUR STUPID S3 BUCKET OR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH THE BUILD THAT IT TAKES SO LONG TO EVEN GET IT IN TESTFLIGHT AAAAAAAAAA9 -
Have you ever managed to land a job a d immediately realised: what have I done?!
I start an IT tech and web dev for. 100+ user company as the one and only IT guy. Immediate anxiety.3 -
!rant very happy to see a development at my uni towards having programming(+related courses) being more and more examined throughout the course through assignments and seminars where you have to explain what you did and why. I think this is a much more suitable solution for some courses best done with practise than having a paper based exam.3
-
What is wrong with these people!!!
Last minute changes are pain in the ass... the design team review gives a go ahead but then pm team doesnt agree and and you have to get the changes suggested done in a day??!!!
In half a day you have to get ux review, peer review, module owner review, architect review, pm review and then merge publish bump and test in ci?!!end of sprint is today...
Ugh!!!every sprint!!every fuckin sprint!!! -
As a developer, how important to you that you have the choice of tools/platforms to do your job?
I've worked on some companies that don't give a damn as long as you get the job done, while some frown upon it because they haven't tried anything other than what they have and are skeptical. Some are completely locked because their products are platform specific so it makes sense for dev to work on the same platform.
Thoughts?5 -
I'm curious about what you guys think of giving percentage updates. Like we have an x project, there are i, j, k things to do and you're asked to give percentage completed on the sub tasks. I feel like we're generally bad at estimating, now you have to consider the weight of each sub-sub tasks and I feel like when you give a percentage update, project managers and clients will eventually ask you "why is the 20% of work not done yet". I feel like it makes the work look a lot easier than it is.8
-
The World Wide Web Consortium has, despite a lot of opposition and controversy, gone over everyone's heads and approved (without proper unanimous consent or compromise) DRM standards for the internet. What fun.
https://boingboing.net/2017/09/...8 -
Getting the company to sit me down next to one of their teams for a couple of hours. Just see what they're doing. How work is managed, how code reviews are being done.
You want to hire me, not the other way around. But good luck in explaining this when you have to write a doubly linked list in pure C because some guy on a conference said that every dev needs to be able to do that. -
What the absolute fuck were you thinking Microsoft?
You're doing everything you can to ensure that those who continue to use Github are flogged and castrated?
What the fuck happened to the SSH clone link that was so easy to keep in all you had to do was *checks notes* fucking NOTHING.
It makes me question choices I have made over the last two years. Like, why don't I just host my own git server at this point? I have a couple servers running and it would cost me next to nothing.
Before anyone says anything about GitLab , I looked. I would be spending three times what I am now if I used them.
At this point it seems like a futile attempt to stay with you. I'm going to start calling you ShitHub now because it's a place where I can't get shit done without some kind of new shitty "improvement".
2022 is lining up to be a spectacular year!
Fuck you Microsoft.8 -
Wouldn't, it be amazing if we could have smart merges that understand the basics of the laguage you are using, and umderstands changes like moving a function, and helps by giving suggestions on what could be done to fix the conflict?1
-
Spent days telling people what to do. What the database fields should look like, went down to every little bit, which was annoying because I hired them to think for themselves.
Spent a couple days verifying this and that. "Is this field really needed?"
Of course it's needed, otherwise why would it be in the specs? It took me two fucking days to communicate on these things they could have just done in half an hour.
They do it wrong. It's been clearly outlined and it's still wrong.
Management then insists on more communication so things don't go wrong. We have meetings every day to discuss what must be done. Every other day we have meetings between another project leader to discuss what we just discussed. Every two days we have progress report meetings.
We spend 70% of the time communicating now and everyone still gets everything done wrong. This is why you have to be really, really careful when hiring. Technical interviews can just be giving someone a spec and seeing whether they can do it. -
let's call him Richie. Richie doesn't listen in team meetings, does not have any clue of what we are doing and what the important topics are. Richi is hiding between the cars in the parking house to not have to talk to you on the 2min way to the office. Richie is 'done' when he encounters any problems in his work so we have to do it. Yeah, we all love Richie...3
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Another Team: How do we do this thing? What aws role do we need?
Me: You do it like this, and I don't know the role by this guy does and all you have to do is ask him for the name of the role to assume.
AT: Ok, great.
AT: We're going to do it like this (wrong way, completely against best practices and completely against what the company architects dictate)
Me: No... thats the wrong way. Don't do it that way. That is bad, because (Reasons A, B, C). Do it the way I told you it should be done.
AT: Ok! I see thank you!
3 hrs later
AT schedules a meeting to go over options to do the thing ... including the WRONG WAY and they still haven't talked to That Guy to get the role name they need.1 -
What are the best practices when making a blogging website?
I'm creating an addition to my personal website to include a blog, and want to follow the best practices for it. Do I just save everything in a JSON? Or do I just make every entry a "page" in Gatsby/React? What have you all done? Would love to see some examples.4 -
I'm taking a beginners course on java. After I'm done I want to do a tiny project.
I want you guys to suggest what I should build as I have no idea where to begin. It's my first language so suggest easy projects please.7 -
Enterprise Architect after morning requirements session: "Well that is actually more simple than I thought. I don't think we'll need the full four days we have scheduled for this. What do you think."
Me: "Yeah, I don't think it will take four days."
*** Hours later right before end of day***
EA: "So how's it going?"
Me: "Pretty good... [details]..."
EA: "So are we still on track to be done by end of day tomorrow?"
Me: "Wait, what?"
EA: "You agreed it would be done in two days, remember?"
Me: "No, I don't remember that."
EA: "Yeah I asked if it could be done in two days and you said yes. Anyway, I'm heading out, just make sure it's done by end of day tomorrow."1 -
You know what really grinds my gears? Java libraries that use native libraries when they could have easily done their task without them.
I’m looking at you Couchbase Lite. Use H2, not SQLite you dumb shit. Be smart like Nitrite. -
!rant
Hello everyone
Do any of you python programmers have any tips for simple projects you can do to learn python?
I am mainly a backend/system engineer comig from C++, slowly picking up rust and have been using bash as my scripting language so far. bash is nice because it is so fundamental in the linux world but you just dont get very far with it and its usually not pleasant to write.
So I would like to learn python, though I have no idea what I can do to practice it, so that I can just quickly whip up a script the next time I need something done in the file system or want to write a simple parser for something.
Do you guys have an idea of something small (not necessarily useful) which makes use of pythons strengths? Just looking for ideas here, so stick it all out 👋💕12 -
Only when the latest feature is implemented, the last bugfix and the last workaround are found, the last unit test is written, the latest CI/CD pipeline done, the customer guy does manual testing and acceptance tests on the staging server and let's them pass and a few days later it's pushed to production...
You will be reminded (again) that shitty customers do exist! A customer is the least capable person to tell you what the customer actually wants and is also the least trustworthy person to test the features he requested...
Holy fuck come on! Just test that shit on the staging Server! One Look could have already shown you that that's Not what you expected!
I checked the logs after that and yup you guessed correctly... The said endpoints weren't even used on staging, only on production...1 -
Hey everyone, need some advice here. To give some background, I am 17 years old, and currently residing in New Zealand. I love software and have my career path set on being a developer, most likely full-stack web. (Windows/native development & Game development I wouldn't mind either). I would say I am confident in JavaScript (incl. TS), web-dev languages (HTML & CSS) and Python. And with less experience, but a strong interest in Rust, C# and C++. I plan to go to my local university to study Computer Science. Because of factors like my age, location, lack of previous job experience and degree(/s) make it hard to meet any requirements for the few jobs available locally, or even remotely. Anyways, what have you done to get where you are today or what would you recommend based on my current background? My main goal is to get my foot in the door than to "have money" or "be occupied", so if other paths like certifications or more temporary contract-like work (similar to Fiverr) is a better idea then let me know.2
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when your team member start to dictate what method you should used and in the end trying to do all the job and changing everything you have done. You might be ask yourself i should have been doing nothing and watching youtube all day.
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Got started with docker and installed a Ubuntu container.
Next I installed vim to know what you can do with this. But here I am looking at a blank window.
What have I done ?3 -
Looking for advice...
I'm working on a personal assistant type application, my own Jarvis.
I've been using Python3 and it's at a point I'm confident to host it on server, but it consists of no commands.
Just a server, communication and other functions.
What process would you use for commands?
As in, would you just have loads of if statements? If so, what about plugins?
I'm using Yapsy as a plugin framework, so I'd like to be able to drop plugin files and build up the command list.
This is why I haven't done commands yet...2 -
Okay soo... I have been working on a "notepad" script using bash. I basically have finished it but it lacks one thing. Verification if the user has typed anything! I started searching on google how i could do that, and found nothing (lol).
I'm asking help from you people :D
Here's the code that doesn't work.
while [[ $name != 'name' ]] || [[ $name == '' ]]
do
read -rp "What would you like the file name to be? The file extension is .txt!$(echo -ne '\n: ')" name
echo "Enter a valid file name please."
done
There's probably one small thing wrong anyway lol
Thanks already!3 -
Fuck you
Guy was on leave for 3 weeks and today came and say what you have done in 3 weeks.
I said project set up was not done on my system.
He said so what? what you have done6 -
Odd question to a dev community who are naturally socially awkward that talks to their ducks.
Even then, for those of us who do have a social life, we just chill when we need to. Anyone who "tries" to balance their life would find it very stressful. Just go with it. Do what you need to do at that scheduled time and when time is up, do the other thing that you promised yourself.
Others: "Easier said than done! You don't have to push releases and squash bugs in critical moments!"
Then that's a trigger to the question, "Do you even live, bro? There's more to life than just dev all day err'day."
Don't think too much. -
It really irritates me when other engineers of various levels get hung up on pedantic, low hanging fruit bullshit in my merge requests. Like really, why keep a thread going just to force me to explain why I chose to make a particular magic string a constant that you don't see a use for? What about all the infrastructure setup code I spent 3 days on? Did you even read any of that to make sure it was sound and that my dumb/drunk/tired ass didn't make an obvious mistake, or could have done it better?2
-
!rant
I'm better at getting work done when I have work to do.
Put your phone on airplane mode, turn off internet on your computer (unless you really need it) and write down what you need to do and when it's due. Just do it.1 -
!rant
<title>
Release "Unlicensed" to avoid problems
<\title>
I have done some work as intern I have done some work. I didn't have a contract though and one month ago I wanted to go away to give more time to my studies.
Now they ask me to write a brief documentation to explain how to use what I have done.
Since I have no hope to receive money and I just want to make sure they don't come back asking me things or blaming me about the implementation I thought to release with "The Unlicense" license...
What do you think?3 -
2 weeks into a new project, it goes from "let's get this web app done quickly" to "No see now it's a fully scaled SaaS solution. And why are you following the designs we have you?!" this is what makes me want to update my resume.
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A couple of years into my study all we have done is creating websites with php. This isn't what I signed for when I chose the study app development.
The issue I have now is that I'm in my last year and am lacking to motivation to continue with php development when in all honesty I just want to create apps.
I bet several people have dealt with the same issue but what I wonder is what you did to get through that period.4 -
/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻
Why can't you just do what I say... I don't need ur opinion on points that I specifically stated should be done a certain way....
I don't want to spend 30mins arguing with you... I already got enough work as it is and ur supposed to be helping me...
I don't have time to explain everything to you... Just what I need you to do....
There's a reason I got promoted and you didn't...4 -
My task is to create a form for posting customer details to the server.
I've spent almost 2 days on the UI.
I mean, it doesn't look like I've been doing much if you consider the UI only, but I've been testing many scenarios of what works best, but unfortunately, the boss only cares about the code, and not how many concepts that have been tested.
So what the form basically does is if you click on the edit button, the inputs field will occur, and if you click on it again it will remove the lines around the input field for better presentation of the data.
How do you show to someone the work you've done, do you write notes or show them the code?3 -
How do you usually handle an argument? Do you prefer not to get involved completely or do you choose to go "back and forth" until you and the other person comes to an (understanding/standstill)??? For me personally, conflict is like stepping on a nail. You can't smoothen a sharp tip, otherwise you're gonna get scratched. All you can do is try to move around it. I say what I have to say and then I'm done!!! If my opponent tries to keep going, I cut them off. Either one: block their number/media account... Two: hang up the phone while they're talking! Or three: get up and walk away ....1
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It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
I really hope all the evil in the world is done for the greater good, I'm praying that humans aren't inherently evil and that there are bigger pictures we can't see.
Nonetheless, I wish you great health. Survival is the primary goal. Stay alive, because, what a time to be alive.
Most importantly, enjoy every second of it. Fuck the status quo, do what you think is right. Do what your gut tells you. Be virtuous, even if you don't have it. Have integrity, be honest and just.
Earth and Sun are beautiful, yet we spend our lives inside fucking walls, and when it's time to go home, it's fucking dark.6 -
Hey there, I've never really done anything like this but I'm in the second year of college.
I really want to go into the security area, not completely sure but pretty inclined to pentesting.
The question is, what, in your opinion, do you think is a good starting point so I'm pretty much ready to start working when I finish my 5 year course? My college doesn't have any or many security classes, so I'll have to do it all by myself.
Right now I know java, C and html, css and Javascript, which I'm learning by myself.5 -
Since most of you are working in IT , Communication and related fields, what advice can you give to a student like me who has just began studying Computer Science Engineering ...I mean how should I began, what to do next and get myself placed in a good company.
Talking about myself I have started learning C language and have learnt about basics, pointers, memory allocation, not yet started with data structures and algorithms
I have just done HTML and basic CSS , have understanding of MySQL and know a little bit about flask and Jinja framework in python.
If you could share your experiences, like what you felt at this stage what you do and how you do....how you got placed...what should I do different to cope with the growing competition....
Look I know this place is not for this bullshit but.... my seniors are egocentric bastards, my batchmates don't give a shit about CS , and being a student of tier-3 state government college in India, professors don't care......so I really appreciate if you guys can come forward, and especially Indian guys.4 -
I don't know how many of you uses IBM Watson api (personality insights). We use in our office. They send back a huge data known as big 5 needs etc. They find the personality of a person from his speech. like anger, happiness etc. I don't understand how they calculate them and also every client trust the data what ibm tells is correct. if it was you if you have done that feature too many questions might have come.
that's the difference between mnc and a startup2 -
Okay. Confession time:
I made a devRant account to "Join the Dark Side". Dark themes are so much better than light themes. They're easier on the eyes (at least for me), they have more aesthetic appeal, and I personally love the color combinations. So I just wanted the dang dark theme. What I got was an addiction to devRant. Well done you sly developers you just hooked another user.1 -
So at the moment, I'm currently reviewing the API specifications that got written up as the other developers haven't bothered to update it themselves. When you think about it, that's kind of dumb. If you are in charge of a particular function, it should be your responsibility to maintain documentation.
Anyway I'm cross referencing to what I see that has been done in the source code and finding way too many inconsistencies across specifications and implementations. Even parts where they have the exact same data, the structures are completely different. Or some parts have been documented but are not in the implementation, or vice versa. SO I can't tell which is the correct one! -
A lot of people have asked me to do their coding assignments for them. Ignoring the fact, that this lack of knowledge will not give good results in the next exam, i have done that a few times for my relatives.
So, being asked by externals I wont do that for free. (7-10h of workload) My question, what would you guys demand for such tasks. Is it worth the effort (students are poor)?3 -
Awkward moment when recruiter knows abt work you have done then what you remember. Make it looks like you are cheating and then when u work out u feel like idiot.
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I've been thinking, and i feel like being the bad guy... So, for now, I'm also an "idea guy" if you know what i mean...
Idea: This site could have a feature like "product recommandations" (just like long rants or something [tyical idea guy saying]), where users could recommend stuff like programs, peripherials, or anything dev related.
This could be done using tags, like certain tags would get sorted into the "product recommandations".
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
(PS.: We should also make a site which is like google, trust me, it would make millions...) -
Moral dilemma :
You inharit a task from your team expert (big ego there) he estimated this before sprint as hard 10 days (with overtime).
You have finished it in a very relaxed 4 days (I agree a lot of code was written but that's life).
Now there is the dillma :
If you declare it done by this time you are the rockstar but you getting a very influencing enemy you made him look like a fool...
If you wait do a psaudo work for the remaining time . It's just laying.. And there is 50% your cover will be blown....
What would you do?5 -
Linux vs Windows (vs AnyOtherOS) | The Age Old Question
The short answer: It depends. And probably isn't even up to you to choose
The long answer:
No one's forcing you to choose. And you have more than 2 options. (The 3rd being... both. (Unless you're running out of hardware))
You have to mentally replace "Which is better? Linux or Windows?" with "Which one gets me sooner to a completed task that more closely matches the end-user's expectations"
If it's something you're developing for yourself, then use whatever the hell you want, because you know where you want that "finished product" to be used, and in what manner.
But often, everyone around you and their cats are not using what you're using
Have to write a document? Oh.. there's this blue program thingy (no one talks like that), I think it was called "Microsoft Word"
Oh, you don't have that?? How the hell do you edit documents then?
~ Some employer still using MS Word 2009
"I'll send you the PSD", "Make it a PSD", "You need the PSD file for reference, right?"
psd? More like PTSD at this point
It's like Photoshop is suddenly the only way to edit images, oh.. and Paint.
* Use paint. I don't care. If it gets the job done, do it.
Hate Photoshop? Love Gimp? Too bad.
When that god forsaken PSD is emailed to you, you better have a copy of Windows and Photoshop just in case it looks like garbage in.. OR OUT of gimp..
Bottom Line:
Don't use what people use. Just have everything ready in case your boss still uses MS Word 1839 and you want to ENSURE, it'll look the same on his screen
*It's wrong to limit yourself to just ONE SINGLE OS2 -
What do y'all think? I'm new here, junior. I finish my tasks generally well within the allotted time. At the moment I take my time, look over my work and try make sure I've done things correctly / as best I can. At first I tried to work quickly and show that I was motivated. Now I've really lowered my acceleration because it feels like no one else is in a rush.. except for when there's deadline pressure. It feels like no one really expects me to get much done. Like, change the theme colors, you've got 3 days. I'm done in like an hour. So I go sloooooooow, change something, go on Reddit or devrant, change something else. Don't check that change in yet, they'll know you've been finished for hours...
Do you think this is the right approach? Or should I try apply myself more, get more done, do extra tasks when I have time? From what I've read online, it's generally not worth working "more" than necessary because it's not appreciated and just results in people expecting more from you.
Thoughts?1 -
I do it pretty regularly maybe once or twice a week depends when I'm working on something interesting and want to get it done. Not very hard when you have coffee, headphones, good music, and enjoy what you do.
As for a story i don't have much of one unless you want one about implementing jwt tokens with a rest api along with trying to implement an 2FA system that would support otp and u2f. Then nuking it from orbit two days later cause it looked like garbage from trying to abstract everything -
A lot of our web forms are done with AngularJS and combined with jQuery it does everything I need to satify the needs of people who are most impressed CSS transitions and have no technical knowledge whatsoever. I have no peers to ask this question.
I'm the only person deciding on what JS libs to use at the company... and since AngularJS goes into maintenance mode... what would you guys suggest to handle form input and add/remove CSS classes to HTML elements?
Should I get on the VUE bandwagon this year?13 -
When the service, platform or plugin is bought then the requirements as to why "we" bought it are created....WHAT ON EARTH COULD GO WRONG!??!!!!
I'm literally now going to be using their API, building a UI and feeding it back into our system where if they had someone who actually knew what we're trying to accomplish could have been done with some database tables............
I hate that mentality 'We need X oh look Company Y does it and look at their UI and features!...lets buy it...oh we also need A,B,C,D...thats ok bring in a dev he'll do it their Sales Guy says it can be done....
....coulda given you X,A,B,C and D if I was involved from the beginning, cheaper and quicker. But I digress here's the world's biggest bandaid. -
Question.
TL;DR: Best C# and .NET accreditation courses (UK)?
I've started a new job as a .NET Software Developer. Now I have never done C# before but they want to send me on some courses to learn.
First I have to recommend what courses though. Price isn't an issue but they want me to give them a variety of courses available. Ones that are crash courses and online learning courses. I want it to be accredited so I can come away with something to show on my CV/LinkedIn.
What C# and .NET courses would you guys recommend or what course providers would you recommend (in the UK).
Thank you in advance!3 -
Dear maintainer:
Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
please increment the following counter as a warning
to the next guy:
total_hours_wasted_here = 422 -
purpose=RantTypes.Advice;
preferredReaderNationality="American";
Hey! Here's my problem: I am a german guy with pretty fluent english. When I will be done with my bachelor's (or master's, depending on my preference in 3 years) degree, I've decided I'd like to live/work in america; if that is at least somewhat easily possible. Ofc I'd have to get someone to hire me first, but I'll probably find at least something (what kind of company would be best? something like google? a start up?)
I tried googling how to become a citizen, how to work, how to live in america etc. but it's just so many different requirements and statuses and rules and forms that I would have to spend a very large amount of time, which might be wasted. So I thought I'd ask you guy's whether it's possible. /r/america (or similar, it was quite some time ago) didn't respond to my questions.
What do I need to know? What do I need to own? What do I need in terms of skills? What would help my chances? How long does this normally take? Is being a white male german a benefit? How much? Could I stay there permanently or would it be a stay-as-long-as-you-have-a-job sort of scenario?What kinds of precautions can I take?
Is it advisable to go there? If not, what are good english-speaking alternatives? What are non-english alternatives (e.g. I thought about sweden; they seem to have great laws, people, internet, scenery)?3 -
(No punchlines just a rant sorry, very angry at this person. Can't leave the club. Talked to seniors about it. Talked to coworkers for some voluntary help. No help here ;-;)
Yesterday: we need to have a meet to plan things out. 3 PM?
Rainbow eating monster: Yes
Yesterday 5 PM: Reminder
Rainbow shitting monster: I can't I have important things
Yesterday 5:01 PM: Children eating monster (in group): hey yall watching the event going on rn
Yesterday 5:02 PM: is this what you're busy with?
Rabbit pooping monster: this of course I can't miss. And anyways I have 5 more things to do: thing that I've already done, this club meet that you asked me to do yesterday and I said I'd have done, a meet with a friend, I'm having lunch now, and a meet with you. Hence I can't meet with you.
...
Today (in group): Kidney stealing monster: @me (irrelevant to discussion) can you meet for other thing that *I* was supposed to do a week ago?
Will you be available @me at 5 PM?
Okay everyone, assuming @me is available, tentatively we meet at 5 PM.
Today 12 PM: i wake up to this faeces3 -
Designed and worked on a website with no help and no assistance from the "head programmer" since he was leaving.
He told me he could have done what I have done since "you programmed it in bootstraps"
(Check tag for response) -
So, what's the process for starting to create your idea? I have one, I've given it a minimal amount of thought, a very high level overview, the purpose and some features that I want. Probably just a free service because it's (probably) not anything too serious. So what now? Market research or just start typing? Planning architecture? This is my first time that I've had an idea I think is worth pursuing. What have you all done?