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Oh.. So the deadline is tomorrow? How about we schedule a fucking FOUR HOUR meeting to speed things up?
Yeah, fuck you too...15 -
>Building advertising platform
>Life is good
>Fire up the dev server and open in browser
>No assets
>What the fuck
>Check code and config for like an hour it's all good
>What the fuck
>Try incognito browser, it works.
>What the fuck
>Oh yeah. Adblock. Fuck.4 -
What the fuck student. Why in fuck would you submit a python assignment in word. So that all the formatting you know the stuff that tells python how to run the code all fucks up. How the fuck can I mark this.28
-
Google: this sha-1 collision is really gonna fuck up the internet more than anything else today
Cloudflare: hold my beer
CloudBleed2 -
The website i made has been hacked today.
Stored in their server.
They didnt give me an access for it.
The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.
Now they ask me for the latest backup.
I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.
The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.
That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.
I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.
Fuck me?
No.
Fuck you.
But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.
ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE7 -
>be me.
>never understood jokes about linux users fucking shit up
>starts using linux
>day 3 manages to fuck shit up
>ooooohhh12 -
So... I just remembered a story that's perfect for devrant.
My brother got into engineering in university, and during the second semester they had their introductory class to programming. They had weekly homeworks that the lecturer would check and give grades accordingly.
The factors that could influence the grading were: execution (meaning that the code would excecute as intended), efficiency and readabilty. The weeks passed and everyone was doing well, getting fairly good grades. Everyone was happy.
Until one day a random guy we'll call bob got the worst grade possible. Bob wasn't a bad student. He had over-the-average grades in all the weekly homeworks and even impressed the professor in some. Naturally, he was baffled when he saw his grade on the google spreadsheet. He was pretty sure his code ran well. He always tested it on different machines and OSs. So, at the end of the class, he went straight to the helper of the class, in a pretty imperative manner, to demand to know how the fuck he got that grade. It's impossible he got excecution, efficiency and readabilty, wrong. All three wrong? Impossible. Even the stupidiest kid in the class had some points on readabilty.
"Oh, so you are Bob. Huh?" said the helper in a laid-back attitude. "Come with me. Prof. X is waiting for you in his office."
This got Bob even more confused. As they approached the office, the courage he had in a first moment banished and gave way for nervousness and fear.
The helper nocks the door. "Prof., Bobs here"
As soon as Bob sits in the chair in front of Prof. X's, he knew something bad was coming.
"In all these years of teaching..." said Prof. X hesitantly. "In all these years of teaching I have not come even close to see something similar to what you've done. You should be ashamed of yourself." Needless to say, Bob was panicked.
"In all these years I have not seen such blatant mockery!" added the professor. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DARE TO SEND A HOMEWORK WITH SUCH VARIABLE NAMING" That's when Bob realised the huge mistake he made. "NEVER IN ALL THESE YEARS I HAVE SEEN SOMEONE NAME HIS VARIABLES *opens the file on his desktop *: PENIS, SHIT, FUCKSHIT, GAYFUCKING<insert Prof. X's name>MAN, GOATSE, VAGINAVAR, CUMFUNCTION, [...]" The list of obcenities went on and on. In each word, the professor hit the table harder than the last time.
Turns out Bob felt so in comfort with the ease of the course he decided to spice things up by using "funny naming conventions" while coding, and then tidying everything up before uploading the homework. This week he forgot, and fucked it big time.
So remember folks, always check your code before committing/giving it in/production. And always adhere to naming conventions.9 -
Overheard this phone conversation:
"So I have to use Internet explorer since it is the only one that supports JavaScript.
I had to upgrade Java to use it, and now it has to be internet explorer, not even Chrome or Firefox supports JavaScript."
I honestly wanted to punch her in the face.9 -
Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.
Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:
- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.
I wanted to copy some backup data over again:
1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.
2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.
3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.
4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.
5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.
This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.
FUCK.39 -
Dropped out of college. Got a job. Happily earning while doing what I love doing.
I still meet wise asses who tell me “...but you should still go back and get a degree...just to be safe”.
Shut the fuck up guys, just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCK DEGREES22 -
Depression is like email newsletters, nobody signed up for that shit and the unsubscribe link never works 🙈 fuck that 📧5
-
When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.
When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.
When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.
Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.
What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...9 -
Question: What is your inspiration in life.
Answer: That these guys fuck up more than I can ever in this life.
28 -
I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.7
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Yay weekend let's have some fun, until client calls, blah blah blah client somehow managed to fuck his CMS up
-
Why the fuck would anyone still want to support IE? It's 2018 for fuck sake! Sure, there's no reason a website shouldn't work on IE, but do I really need to fuck it up just because something doesn't properly align in IE?
Fuck IE! Why can't we just let it die?11 -
Even the big guys fuck up at times and it is ok.
Sometimes I put unnecessary pressure on myself when I fuckup simple tasks. But when I see the big guys fuck up too, it kind of makes me realise that it is ok to fuck up at times. That is the only way to learn.
4 -
I'm tired of everyone playing the fucking victim all the damn time.
Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your fuck ups, not blame everyone but yourself.
God people piss me off these days12 -
So today i thought about setting up backups on my server.. Guess what..
HDD broke randomly overnight.
Cool story bro.
Fuck.2 -
Why do you wake up tired?? Isn't that what you go to bed to fix?! What the fuck kind of bullshit is this?!13
-
Teacher : What's 1+6 ?
Some kid : it's 7
Fan boy: Shut the fuck up kid.It's still 6.. It's Oneplus 6.13 -
So we have this long term contractor that EVERY FUCKING TIME says MySQL meaning SQL Server... Like wtf dude? Shut the fuck up...5
-
Client: How's our B2B data lookup platform coming along?
Me: All done, your clients can now search by first/last name as well.
Client: I just search "fuck" as first name and 5 results came up, our data is not cleaned up properly.
Me: Fuck
Client: Fuck2 -
Start to work, open laptop, open IDE, open editor, excited for coding, end up with youtube, fuck my life3
-
Someone should write a really infectious virus for Linux to make all the fanboys shut the fuck up about security.11
-
OmG I haTeZ WhEn PIp0L tHinK I Am A haCk3R bIcoZ of My trMinAl Lib mi alone! XOXOX
shut the fuck up.18 -
OK. FUCK YOU REACT-ROUTER AND YOUR FUCKED UP "SHOULD BE STRAIGHT FORWARD" IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND DOCUMENTATION AND HALF BAKED EXAMPLES OF INCONSISTENT VERSIONS.
FUCK YOU WITH A TRUCK INSIDE YOUR BITCH ASS12 -
Everyday I wake up, I just think where did humanity go wrong? What mistakes were made? How the fuck did we end up with IE? And why do people still use it?5
-
I've made up my mind, I'm leaving this toxic environment, the current company and making a switch. FUCK IT8
-
Fuck.
I ordered something online.
Autofill fucks up my address but I don't notice it. Get the notification that it's out for delivery. Go check my PO box after I see the USPS driver leave the complex. Package isn't here.
What the fuck?
Check the email only to notice I fucked the address up and there's literally no street name. Just my apartment number for the PO box. Well hopefully it gets taken back to the USPS store and I have to pick it up bc if not, then God only knows where it's at because I sure as fuck won't.11 -
*launch software*
> goes tits up with no info
*restart machine, launch software*
> still goes tits up
*su to the user it runs as and run it manually because fuck you shitstaind*
> still goes tits up
*launch with debug logs enabled*
> suddenly works
What is this black magic?!10 -
I was asleep and woke up and just had the thought: fuck Oracle and fuck Oracle DB. Going back to bed now 😴😴😴5
-
When you are browsing devrant and then you arrive at the posts you left of last time.
Fuck, im up to date. -
Fuck my old university, they are leaking Excel files from an old IIS 7.5 server with tables of contacts, students info, emails, phone numbers... 😠
They'll pay, morbidly.6 -
Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.2
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When the client rings up saying the website is down. I say can you see any other sites. They say, no, nothing is coming up. It's your internet connection, kindly fuck off!
-
Finally it was my turn to receive a call from the now infamous Indian "Windows Technical Support Department" from a spoofed out of service 1-888-425-6866 number. My wife and I are on vacation we had just gotten back from the beach and she was taking a shower so I had all the time in the world to play along with them. It is too long to type out but it was extremely entertaining especially the bits that happened after I finally informed them that I own a Mac. The final thing he told me on the phone before hanging up was to go fuck my sister and I felt I must have performed well to deserve that.6
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TL;DR
5 day deadline with stupid requests.
So, after these series of events:
https://devrant.com/rants/1306582/...
https://devrant.com/rants/1303776/...
I was full on sarcasm mode yesterday and heard my name in a conversation between my boss and a front end dev ( my boss sits literally behind me ) ...
They were talking about improvements on the web app that I made in a rush to a meeting.
I was there thinking : fuck.. Don't ask... Don't ask
But I could not restrain my self and I did ask: hey, what's that about? It isn't for the meeting at day April's 9 , is it? ( in a "of course not" tone )
He said it is... With the most annoying dumb smile face he always does ( I'm convinced he might be retarded )
And I just : can't be done.
So we started chatting about it... How it is gonna be presented to our manager on Monday ( April's 2 ) for approval and how we are gonna implement it by April's 9.
Stick with me on this one:
I'm the sole dev.
The only one that know the back end tech.
The only one that deals with the servers.
I'm heeling you : 5 fucking days isn't enought!
Its gonna be 5 days if, and only if everything is approved by Monday fucking morning. Which I bet my asshole isn't gonna be.
So let's pretend we have 5 days to change the fucking logic of how shdt works we still need the data to put in there... Aaahh the data... That shit is the fucking holy-grail around here... Impossible to find.
And he said it is important for a 2nd round of investment that we do that.
These people are fucking insane...
I really don't know what to think... I'm gonna have to go full rage-mode once more to accomplish this?
I'm already burned down from the last couple weeks doing that.
I used my last energy with the last rush... For nothing.4 -
This is what I get for wanting to try Arch Linux again.... I even followed a guide so that I don't mess up. 😑 Fuck you Arch Linux and your complicatedness. And fuck you too brain for being Arch Linux dumb.
20 -
Programming made me fucking fat as fuck.
I went to Holmes Place after a 2 month no gym period to get counseling.
I have a whoppin 25% body fat and it makes me fucking depressed.
Fuck sitting in front of computers and programming for hours. Fuck snacks and fuck stayibg up late. That shit is bad for you.16 -
I wake up, take a look at the clock: 5:21.
The alarm is at 5:40.
Thanks fucking sleep cycle for waking me up to wake up the alarm clock... FUCK!!!2 -
Next task list of an Adobe developer:
1. Fuck something up so that the user has to google for the simplest possible functionality.2 -
So, a few weeks ago I asked you guys what would you do if you were to quit your current job. I attempted a start-up with an old "friend" of mine.
He was very enthusiastic and hardworking at the beginning. However he received a job offer from somewhere and told me that he would work there just until we found the company officially and then quit and work full time on the project.
Well... I put around 300 hours into the project and developed the system, did most of my part according to the plan but the guy didn't deliver anything.
Turned out he had another secret partner whom he first introduced me as his mentor. I had my suspicions and suddenly shut down API servers, project management domain and mail server. Suddenly the quiet guy called me asking if I was alright and everything was fine.
Then, nothing happened. He went radio silence until I called him last night and he picked up the phone drunk and mumbled something like "I'm aware of you being a victim" then went to "you're passive aggresive" or something like that and I said nothing, just hung up.
I think you can figure out what went down on the other side and I'd like to hear your scenarios.
PS: now I have another start-up idea: I'm gonna pick up a flamethrower and burn the world while laughing histerically. Anyone who'd like to join is welcome.
3 -
I really hate designers who get worked up over a few pixels difference between their mockup and the end result.
I really, really, really, really, thoroughly despise designers who get worked up over a few pixels when they keep changing the mockup without notifying me, when we're already *weeks* past our intended launch date.
Shove those pixels up your ass, you fucking fuck7 -
Fuck you Windows 10 and your fucking mandatory updates that fuckes up every fucking time! Fuck you and your fucking inability to update beyond 71 fucking percent! This is the last fucking time you waste my time, your fucking out! Fuck you!!!19
-
Dear fuckface,
Fuck you and your Electron gobbling up RAM like it's free food at a all-you-can-eat buffet. It's not. Please take your Electron and fuck the fuck off from my computer.
Sincerely, with a double middle finger and double middle toes,
PTH6 -
FUCK FUCKING FUCK NETBEANS MESSED UP SO I DELETED A PROJECT I'VE JUST BEN WORKING ON FOR THE PAST DAY AND I CAN'T RECOVER IT FUUUUUUUUUUUU6
-
What am I doing right now? Scamming scammers.
I'm attempting to build a delicious Windows honey pot for scammers to play in only to be terribly disappointed by how buggy it is.
That's right mother fucker I've rigged this computer to not work on purpose!
Have fun trying to run your shitty programs and steal data that isn't there.
Oh by the way if you want to play in this playground it's www.scammer.info3 -
I love TDD.
It's so relaxing to know that your fix didn't fuck up anything else when the tests pass. -
Today I woke up on a beautiful day, feeling well rested. Then I remember PHP is a thing and it all went to shit. FUCK YOU, FUCK SHIT FUCK4
-
Oh for fucks sake on a horse raping twat of a week.
It’s like everything that could go wrong did go wrong, from people fucking up, to orders being fucked up in multiple systems to me wanting to break someone’s fucking nose for being a complete dumb fuck. Seriously how do people that do a job, day in and day out go completely fucking brain dead and fuck things up beyond fucking repair over hundreds of orders.
Sorry but FUCK this shit, it can wait till fucking Monday you cunt rash of a shit. -
FUCK THIS FACEBOOK ASSHOLES FOR GIVING MY NUMBER TO A CLIENT. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. I DON'T SIGNED UP FOR GIVING OUT MY NUMBER TO EVERYONE .I HOPE YOUR COMPANY LOSE ALL THEIR ASSETS AND MARK ZUCKERBERG GO BANKRUPT .... FUCK YOU ...13
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Me when I fuck up my sleep schedule badly by turning my life into a coding sprint and then trying to go normal
-
!dev
So I've just been evicted, apparently the house I have a room in is being repossessed.
Now living in a tin hut in the middle of a field. Loving life, life loving me.9 -
Urgh, fucking excel!
Why the fuck can't you handle a few thousand calculations you dumb ass piece of shit.
I am this close to... fuck, it crashed. 🤦♂️
I fucking give up.
Time to strap this data to a DB instead.7 -
Boyfriend just got rejected after spending 45 minutes annotating a video using a company's shitty product they asked him to learn and utilize for the interview itself.
He did a fine job, if I do say so myself.
He was rejected today, with no reason other than a list of "common things that might have triggered a rejection".
Oh and the classic "we're sorry, we can't tell you why we rejected you - but we look forward to you re-applying in 45 days!"
Why the fuck not? If you're a recruiter and you do this shit, go royally fuck yourself. It's so beyond unprofessional and there's zero reason for it.
If he fucked up and failed, fine. At least tell him why. Be fucking adults. Your shit fucking stinks just like everyone else's, this isn't American Idol or the Hunger Games; you're not President Snow, and even Simon will tell you why you suck.
Fucking aggravating.15 -
Fuck life, fuck this society and especially fuck my brain - waking me up at 6 AM and immediately making me burst into tears because bipolar... I mean come on! I can't even sleep anymore?! I know it's hard falling asleep but waking me up just to cry? ...why...21
-
Just wrote a examn about IPs an totally fucked it up. I hate subnet masks. SERIOUSLY, FUCK THEM
AAAHHHH fuuuuuu
💔5 -
When you sign up to public WiFi (ikr 🙄) with the name: Mr Fuck Off... Etc
Then it greets you with: "Welcome Fuck!"
I played myself 😝 -
My rants have been too long lately. Have some distilled ire instead.
Fuck computer gremlins.
Fuck non-deterministic BS.
Fuck shit working the third fucking time I try it with no changes in between.
Fuck MojoJojoing
Fuck ExecJS laoding only half the time
Fuck RubyMine for fucking up seven times a fucking day.
And fuck this dev environment!
I just want to fucking work!
adfjlkasdly15 -
How to clean the new Macbook Pro ->
- Clean outside
- Open MacBook
- Mac boots up, fuck
- Shut mac down
- Clean the keyboard
- Accidently boot it up using Touch ID while cleaning inner aluminum, fuck
- Shut mac down again, because haven't done touchpad and screen yet
- Clean remaining parts
- Boot mac up
Efficient! :D1 -
After seeing this "old" picture I want to let know at the guyz who are in love with AMD that before Ryzen(s) I was able to cook my fuckin' breakfast's eggs on their fuckin' CPUs.
Big mistakes brings to great solutions and shut up the fuck up AMD, probably your core code is full of vulnerabilities but no one cares about your ultra threads architecture.
22 -
Don't ever talk to non-tech people about tech. It'll fuck up your mood.
I've talked to a non-tech person lately, so...11 -
I fucked up. I forgot the password. I already knew I have a really bad memory but then pride came along and told me that I'd remember it this time. Fuck my fucking pride. I fucked up and now I've got to restore this mess.
Fuck.3 -
Fuck insomnia. Fuck it right in its overly alert, not at all tired face. Could I just for one night actually sleep and not wake up 2 hours later? Please?!6
-
What is up with people asking for help and then immediately getting pissy like the first fuckin thing you say?
Shut the fuck up and let me help you, damn.9 -
> Install linux
> Completely fuck up windows partition
> Can't get into safe mode
> The main program you use is windows only
fml14 -
Caught a co-worker's gigantic fuck up today – dude totally wiped important code off master with a terrible git rebase + git push.
Gave him the nicest earful I could muster, but I think this is one of those times where I'm allowed to be royally pissed.5 -
What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.
INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!10 -
Thanks stupid workmates who fuck up the project first and then 4 hours before the deadline tell you without any feelings "it's late, I'm going to sleep".
NO FUCK YOU GET YOUR ASS HERE AND START HELPING ME4 -
Just now when I'm watching one of the many anime's I've saved onto my file server I noticed something.. all of their files are incomplete, and so are they on the NTFS mirror on this WanBLowS host. The files got corrupted. I recall that I used robocopy to place the files back and forth, and yet again it lives up to its expectations of it being a motherfucking piece of Winshit. FUCK YOU ROBOCOPY!!! If I wanted to fetch that anime yet again just to deal with your developers' incompetence, I'd have watched it online!! Meanwhile tell me, HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO DEAL WITH A NETWORK FILE TRANSFER THAT EVEN USES YOUR OWN SHITFEST OF A PROTOCOL, FUCKING SMB?!! MSFT certified pieces of shit!!!!7
-
I'm managed by idiots who don't fully realize the nightmare they're creating.
They're making small operational changes, but hundreds of them with zero evidence to back their claims up.
When I bring up how it actually works, and how operations actually work I'm told I don't use the tools as much as management does and that my feedback is limited to how I use the tool.
So now I'm just gambling that they won't fuck up too bad before I get that sweet sweet sellout money and just letting them fuck everything up they want without any warnings from me.
I'm quickly learning that the phrase of the year is, "Fuck em". -
Fucking long week at work.. but its not all bad. Facebook stock tanking makes up for it. Bahaha fuck em3
-
API Request validation is stupid.
Until you remember
* Your target audience is highschool students
* Your front end dev loves to fuck your stuff up
* His mom works in QA and she equally likes to fuck shit up
* It's just a good idea
* People just fucking suck8 -
When coworkers say, "I know you have a lot on your plate buuuuut...."
Then shut the fuck up and let me work 😑 -
I'm the only developer here. I'm also pretty bad.
I can't handle all this responsibility, every single fuck up will be my fault.10 -
FUCK YOU DIGITAL OCEAN!
I know, I fucked up because I lost my backup codes, but tell me, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU ANSWER AN EMAIL THAT IVE BEEN SENDING SINCE THREE WEEKS AGO?
You motherfuckers12 -
Here we go....
At our school we had different industry people come in and talk about whatever they want to.
My last presenation for the day is on 3D modelling in Game Design, and of course we have middle school kids being generally loud and obnoxious.
Some fuckers are being exceptionally obnoxious, and the teachers decided, in their infinite FUCKING wisdom, to stick them in front of a table where Juniors and Seniors are sitting, minding our own buisness.
Of course, the fuckers decided to continue being obnoxious and despite my request to keep it down, and another Senior's direct approach to tell them to shut up, they continue being disruptive.
At one point, a teacher, again using INFINITE FUCKING WISDOM, decided that instead of removing the fuckers from the room, put a Senior in between them, hoping that that would somehow keep them quiet. Yes, the fucking preschool level attempt didn't work.
Eventually a teacher concluded that the fuckers were pissing us off and removed them from the room. Thank fuck.
That feels much better, excuse me as I need to reinstall an OS on my desktop since the Universe seems to fucking hate me today. -
So apple wants you to open your system logs with Photoshop, truly? So the fuck up and crashes looks more "beautiful"?4
-
Anyone else sometimes feel that coding, programming call it what you want. Has taken over their lives and fucked it up!!!
Some times wish I never started this shit. But can't stop, it's like an addiction.7 -
All the articles about javascript fatigue lately. Omg just shut the fuck up already. Being a developer is hard, deal with it2
-
Dear YouTube,
If you want me to fucking watch your fucking same ad every fucking 2 minutes, I will fucking fuck watch those fucking ads on my fucking TV.
Fed up. Moving to YouTube magisk ad-free module. Fuck off YouTube. Recently you became to greedy.
Fuck off.8 -
Fucking hate it when I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because of mental restlessness.
... Like, when the fuck did the evolution come up with this shitshow? And why?5 -
In my work we have this big client who is really concerned about security.
We can't even access the DB from our machine, so they gave us some shitty, heavy as hell, laptops. It's ok, i don't like the ideia but ok.
But in this laptop have a super fucked up windows 7 that have almost everything blocked, we can't even install the fucking sdk(java) to work without asking the company's "IT guy".
On top of that, to access the DB from outside this client we need a VPN, it's ok, I understand, but the fucking VPN drop connection every 5 fucking minutes.
Yesterday I spent fucking 6 hours to run 2 ten minutes queries that we needed to make a report for this fuckers.
I sit in front of a big window, I really felt the will to throw their laptop right through it.3 -
When you work your ass out for days and night together for a feature. Rip your brains apart for that slimy thing to work.
And the client says it was not needed.
FUUUUCKKK2 -
Me on Windows: Connecting headphones via Bluetooth, starting to play some music.
Ten minutes later, Windows: Setting up device
-> Headphones stop working
TL:DR
Fuck you Windows and fuck you game developers who don't support Linux6 -
Didn’t I tell you that I would find a UI fuck-up for sure!
Here it is.. continuing with the legacy of iOS 14!
3 -
About to have damn near an entire month lf vacation. If i do something code related it will be with the only language that is kind to my heart and soul: Ruby.
weeeeeee8 -
Turned on my MacBook, opened up Xcode, within typing one line of code my computer starts heating up and the fans are loud as fuck2
-
What the fuck is wrong with Windows?
I put it into sleep. After a while, it just wakes up again.
I put it into hibernation. It boots up again.
I closed anything that could potentially wake it up like instant messengers etc.
Still it wakes up after a random amount of time.11 -
-*sleeping frustated cause of code errors*
brain: hey, wake up! I think I know the solution of that code
-*wake up at 4 am*
-*do the code*
-*get more errors*
Fuck this life1 -
"We have a nice documentation you can use to get this up and running"
>half the bloody variables used in said documentation are never even mentioned how they are defined
Nice. -
Ok I fucked up.. I installed elementary OS on a USB from my school pc..
Windows still work but I have to plug in the elementaryOS USB for grub to boot so I can boot windows
Fuck me14 -
!dev
>Send a mail to a company making sure the version of a keyboard I'd be getting was hotswappable.
>Support told me that indeed, I'd be getting the hotswap version.
>Places order
>Keyboard comes in
>...
>It's not the hotswappable version >:(
motherfuckers...7 -
I got really depressed today for many many self-inflicted reasons so i'd like to propose we change Rule 2 of Technology to "You will fuck up, and when you do, you will fuck up REALLY REALLY HARD."
-
hey yahoo why don't you just go fuck yourself
you literally can't make this stuff up
2024: year of the fever dream
17 -
$ ./my_script.sh
> zsh: permission denied: ./my_script.sh
$ sudo ./my_scripts.sh
> sudo: unable to execute ./my_script.sh: Permission denied
$ sudo sudo ./my_script.sh ?
> zsh: shut the fuck up4 -
If the option is disabled
You can still use it
To get a nice error
Who the fuck came up with this shit???3 -
Fuck you Windows 10, WMI Porvider host taking 22% of an i7 CPU for no reason.
Doesn't matter what PC you have, Windows will fuck it up, whatever it takes11 -
Dear Microsoft power bi team.
Go fuck yourself. Put that dashboard up your ass. The documentation for this is a joke.
The doc says I can get my tokens from azure portal. But guess what. The portal is a sea. And seems like powerbi is moved out from portal to its own powerbi.fuckyoumicrosoft.com
What the actual fuck you dimwits. Why don't you document it properly ?
For fuck sake. Go show up your analytics deep into your pie chart.2 -
Aaaarrrrgghhhhhhhhh
Out of all the days,
My laptop is lagging today, when I need to things to be done.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
PS. It's so slow, that I ended up searching a meme too.
2 -
Every recruiter in job add: not essential but desirable. Knowledge of blah blah blah.
But what they don't tell you is that they won't even fucking consider you if you don't have it.1 -
What seemed like a simple task of upgrading our angular project and adding universal to it, is slowly beginning to feel like an impossible mission.
Fuck you npm, fuck windows and fuck whoever thinks javascript/typescript can be used for every god damn thing.
I fucking give up -
I like these rants beginning with "fuck!!!"
It makes me feel unbelievable good!
It literrallycleans up my brain!!!!!!
Fuck!1 -
PO: "Hurry the fuck up!"
me: "Well I'm sorry but no amount of wanting will speed up development. Development is complicated. Understand that".
Non-techies are super irritating.2 -
On my way to my first interview for my internship as a software developer. I just hope I don't fuck it up D:8
-
Coworker:Awe..
Fuck me...
Fuck fuck.... I fucked up...This fucking url..
..... Fuck. ... Pages
Me. What's going on buddy
Co worker: pages are down
Me: that sucks bro watchu do
Co worker: nothing too bad
Me: 😕 .. ok..
..... I'm still hearing the "fuuhhhcks" , and groans.
Guess who's delivering the news ... Does dev rants give stress beers. -
I will delete my question. Fuck you all! Fuck Shopware and your lack of support! Fuck StackOverflow and your erratic standards of downvoting, deleting, or simply ignoring helpful questions, while piling up React and jQuery details bullshit. Fuck you all seriously! Just typing this to see if anyone of you yankees cares enough to down vote or ban me. Fuck the fucking fuckers!17
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Father of a monkey-whoring, succulent dick ass fuck, ever heard of minding your own business? I don't care if you are the FUCKING CFO or whatever the fuck you are, don't fuck with the fucking code. Don't try to come up with your own cum-gargling explanation if an HTTP request results in a FUCKING 503.
You goat-fucking piece of cunt-shit of a fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!4 -
why the fuck did I tell my boss it would take "a few weeks" to redo the project up to the point that the fucked up version is at3
-
So I hate politics, but I'm sure some of you will be glad to see this article about a new proposed bill to restore Net Neutrality:
http://bit.ly/2ouHLG15 -
FUCK OFF MSDN. YOU JUST PUT THIS WHEN THE DEVS ARE TOK LAZY TO ACTUALLY WRITE UP ERROR DOCUMENTATION.
-
holy fuck, UFOs are now moving to the "mainstream discourse"?????
yes, just like AI, world's ending, all the jobs are gone!!!
just like covid (remember that one?) world's over, we all died!
let me repeat it for you:
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
what the fuck went wrong with the vast majority of people along the way????
i'm going to the mountains, i'll be back...
never
inb4 "have some creativity fullstackclown!" "isn't it cool to think about?!"
shut up, using your fucking head that is a result of millions of years of evolution seems much more exciting than taking 4 grainy ass videos as truth and getting hyped up about it
show me a shred of valid evidence and i'll believe. however, evidence does NOT include:
- some big wig CLAIMING or SAYING they exist, regardless of their credentials - i don't care if fucking honest abe lincoln himself rises from the grave and says UFOs are real
- a photo or video that looks like it was taken in the 1920s
8 -
Products team just hit me up with random requirements straight out of their ass. They know very well my entire team is wrapped up building a new app. Now I respond with random mêmes. Fuck you.5
-
FUCK YOU SYNOLOGY
Fuck you for breaking all my custom shit.
Fuck you for wiping almost everything (but leaving random stuff) every major update.
Fuck you for switching from upstart to systemd 219 (RELEASED MARCH 2015!).
Fuck you for using an outdated kernel.
Fuck you for having the weirdest shittiest preconfigured settings.
Fuck you for using your own custom package format.
Fuck you for being so utterly broken.
Fuck you for making me work 10 hours just to get everything back up and running the way it was.
Fuck you from the bottom of my heart
3 -
So, just pulled another all-nighter..
On our platform I switched a quite big customer to another stock keeping system to pull them into automatic FEFO handling etc. Just a better stock keeping system overall.. I made it.. *self hi-5*
Evidently the crons caught that change, and CLEARED ALL THE STOCK LEVELS as they're now managed by said system...
Had to pull the counts, locations, expiry dates and lot numbers from the history table and old database fields, add them to an Excel sheet and then add all gathered locations by hand back into the new system, whilst also setting the new settings for them.
39 unique products that were gathered over 190+ sku objects... (Somebody didn't get object oriented, or was trying to KISS themselves, clearly...)
That's 6 hours of extra work for a stupid fuck up.. Oops? (:5 -
God I'm changing to Linux , fuck windows ... It would be a perfectly fine os, but in true Microsoft fashion.... They fuck it up.
Been out of the Linux game (cept for Kali) for a while any advice? On a distro
I lost hours having to reinstall , thinking it's doing shit but in fact it's just sitting there cause there's no fucking loading bar or anything other then a spinning circle.
I can't afford to lose 10 hours of work. Which is what I've lost the past two weeks dealing with Microsoft's shit updates.14 -
Fuck,
I've been charging everything with the oculus quest 2 charger because it's very powerful but it just blew up my headphones. I did this often before but this time was a whole night.
I hope I can still get this great headphones, it had such good volume & bass. It's the cheapest Fresh & Rebel but the sound quality and battery is great22 -
Dude. Listen.
The deployment didn't go 100% well, fine. The main menu got fucked up, fine.
But no one gives a fuck when you send an 15 words long email to 6 persons just whining about the fact that no delivery go well on the first try.
Learn to shut the fuck up sometimes. -
Just spent 10 minutes debugging why my game is launching with the console presets and UI only to see that I set my configuration to Console...
Well done...2 -
Fucking hell the AWS IAM documentation is confusing as fuck. Trying to set up a fucking role is harder than cutting a rock with a fucking spoon.
And who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to allow a CLI user to run any command he's allowed to without any form of authentication??
Oh, set up MFA for the CLI you say? Good fucking luck with that, if you ever manage to figure out how to set that shit up!
Fuck this shit!3 -
The Director of my employer's Firmware Engineering department, an older guy, sent out a department-wide email introducing a new hire. IN COMIC SANS.
Even though I am a new employee myself, I cannot let a disgrace like this pass unaddressed. So I politely and as respectfully as possible urged him not to use Comic Sans in a professional setting, and even offered rationale & alternatives.
He essentially responded, "No offense, but I'm gonna use whichever font I choose," but with that one simple sentence riddled with grammatical and spelling errors.
Shortly afterwards, he then sent out a mass email introducing me as a new hire. With my provided bio in a business-appropriate font, sandwiched between two hideous blocks of Comic Sans.
Honestly, how the fuck do people like this make it to a managerial position? >_>4 -
That feeling when everyone on devrant is shitting EU for Internet censorship while I'm here worrying about my country's future when they implemented Syaria Law. Very torn about it to be honest.6
-
Can literally every fucking pop up, modal, notification, message box, update, and everything else just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO MY WORK2
-
waking up at 11 o'clock... feeling like a lazy fuck. But then doing the math thing and end up with 5 hours sleep. dont know how to feel about it :D code wont refactor itself
-
I fucked up my MySQL installation...
AGAIN!!
Whenever I really feel like programming in my free time (which became really rare), I fuck something up and spend half of the night fixing it. Once it’s fixed I’m done, don’t wanna do anything anymore..
I should just start programming and set up the infrastructure afterwards.. at least I would get to do some programming then..9 -
What the fuck is up with Facebook's video player. How the fuck does the biggest social media platform on the planet, fuck up something so important to it. The UX is garbage, autoplay is a cunt with it starting at maximum volume each fucking time. Fucking EllenTube is better than that fucking shit.7
-
Oh fuck off. Why do you put a fucking iMac on the floor
... Face up I imagine to then have your gf step on it 😡
Why the fuck would you even allow that situation to happen2 -
Me: "But what if I fuck it up?"
Him: "Well, don't fuck it up".
When asking about what the user should do next in case they make a mistake and wanted to correct it.
It was a turning point in my dev life.1 -
Rookie me,back when I was making my first Android app...
After a lot of hours put into it, finally finished it...pretty much was ready for deployment...some final touches...but oh wait... I was messing with some files-wanted to delete something and misclicked the whole folder...well my brain farted for a moment and clicked yes-I managed to erase the whole fucking app I was working for months...!
The whole world shut down at that moment! What the fuck did I do?...
In this point I want to thank jetbrains for their magical revert button....
Moral of the story: Learn Git, backup everything and don't be too excited and fuck up tremendously...! -
Why the fuck do SD cards always land on the floor dark-side up?! It's so fucking frustrating to find them!!7
-
Sometimes the days are so bad that I almost feel like giving up on this, fuck you npm, fuck you angular material constantly changing shit all the time and fuck you fellow dev who keeps fucking around with global CSS stylings
-
What a fucking idiot I am... When I was rewriting the names of variables I changed them form "phone_number" to phoneNumber. I didn't realised I changed the variable in post request too and who could quess it'll fuck up the whole request. So here I am, 3 hours later with only half of my hair... but at least with working request2
-
one of the most anoying error in php is headers already sent -_- one single white space will fuck you up3
-
Moments when you give wrong estimate and then have to sit up all night.
Fuck estimates. I will never get them right.1 -
When you hate every fucking thing on earth and want to kill everyone on this fucked up planet.
That bug didnt fix. Fuck you.
The client needs answer now. Fuck you.
Stackoverflow user marked it as duplicate. Fuck you in particular.
Fuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkk every fucking asshole. -
fuck up some code and the mistake gets noticed later
add tests to cover up my fuck up
get asked to add tests for other existing presumably correct code i did not add or change in the nearby area
so be it4 -
Fuck DataGrip, and it's an unintuitive interface, which asshole came up with the idea to remove the import menu option in favour of a drag and drop bullshit, and while I am at it fuck your documentation that is never accurate. You are a tool to speed up my work not create more tasks dummy!2
-
Yesterday I took the evening to set up a backup server on my home NAS, so I could finally backup my dualboot laptop. Today I came home from work, boot up the laptop to configure the clients.... This happen, fucking black screen and doesn't even boot! Fuck fuck fuuuuuuck!!!
4 -
Something messed up with my dR++ billing but I guess whatever, fuck it, this pmatform's doomed anyway 🤷4
-
FUCK YOU SYNCFUSION, JUST FUCK YOU!! TRYING TO USE YOUR FUCKING LINEAR GRAPHS AND THEY NEVER FUCKING WORK!!! THEY DON'T ADAPT THEIR OWN BOUNDS, THEY DON'T SHOW LABELS EVEN THOUGH I'M FUCKING TELLING YOU TO SHOW THEM AND EVEN WHEN I ADD HEADERS YOU REFUSE TO SHOW THEM!! AND FOR SOME GODDAMN FUCKING REASON, WHENEVER I USE A TABBED PAGE YOU JUST GO UP AND FUCKING THROW AN "UNKNOWN EXCEPTION" JUST FUCK IT FUCK YOU , FUCK YOUR GRAPHS, FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!2
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How rotten and half bitten is this most valuable Apple? See that they get quite some bashing for their latest Catalina release. And they deserve every portion of it, I think.
Honestly, when I saw our testers going through the different betas, which hardly installed and on which our software kept behaving differently, nevertheless they pushed their Golden Master and released. Didn't seem a good idea.
Currently I had to update to Catalina to check some small broken feature of ours and now the active window keeps on losing focus every few minutes. Have to grab the mouse and click there again to continue working. Really fucking annoying. Hope I can track it down some time.. or trash my iMac.2 -
Thanks VS code for randomly deciding to fuck up over 1000 lines of saves yet uncommitted code.
I seriously just want to cry8 -
Whatever, as long as it has 0 dependency to mainframe 💩 directly or not
Fuck mainframe up it's dusty ass -
when the only thing you have going on for the team is the atmosphere and even that they fuck up, what now6
-
Ok who the fuck set up the test alarm of the county voluntary fire department.
Its literally a random number calling you that when you pick it up plays a police siren.
Any person who doesn't know what the fuck this is, hangs up thinking what the hell was that.2 -
Once upon a time I was standing, but changed my mind and sat down. O Lord, how good that felt. I remember it like it was yesterday.
-
What the actual fuck, I installed lodash using "npm install --save lodash" and npm just decided to delete webpack and fuck up the webpack.dev.config.js and actually my whole project... I want to cry
Why the fuck is this fucking thing called npm falling apart at every opportunity it gets 😠1 -
> Error
> Error
> Adds "console.log(valueThatIsRelatedToError)"
> Smiles because I managed to not fuck up logging to the console1 -
GODAMNFUUUCKIIIT
WHICH EVER IDIOT PROGRAMMED HALYARD SHOULD DIE A SLOW DEATH IN HELL!!!
A CD TOOL HAVING THE WORST INSTALLER EVER IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE YOU COULD COME UP WITH!!! FUCK NETFLIX FUCK SPINNAKER FUCK EVERY BIT OF SHIT TOOLING THAT COMES FROM IT!!!!! -
Fuck these apache2 and nginx configuration that fucking make my life miserable. Why can\'t I fucking edit the files inside /var/www/html? Fuck that. Why can\'t I access a subdirectory inside it? Fuck! In Node.js, you can fire up your server pretty easily. Then you tell us that JavaScript sucks? Fuck me dead.21
-
Just wanted to make a clean install on my iMac. What could possibly go wrong?!
Cleaning the hard disk was interrupted by a process running (kextcache). Catalina wouldn't install ("Incomplete systen on target device". Dropping the terminal I could somehow force unmounting and wipe the disk. Had a BSOD in between. Catalina would still not install ("Failed to install pre boot volume"). Later erasing the disk got blocked by the kernel itself. Felt like trouble and it was: Next time I was greeted with a blinking folder containing a questionmark instead of the bitten Apple.
Last resort: Internet recovery. Installing El Capitan was said to take 7 hours so I took a USB time machine backup of latest Catalina. Installed it, but on reboot it get's stuck when progress bar is at 100%. But at least I've a working recovery again. Yeah, progress!5 -
So I currently work at my first job and have for 2 years now. First project I had was to redesign a user info set up page. Didn't know any of the languages so kinda had to just wing it. Anyway finally committed my code and tested on dev server. Then code pushed to production and tested there. Then I saw a message from one of the top devs saying nobody could login. I replied saying that I was able to. Well, I actually ended up making it to where no one could log in except me. I learned real quick to never fuck up like that again. Surprised I wasn't fired on the spot.1
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Arrrrgh Fuck this shit. I thought debugging someone's code was fucked up. I was wrong, try debugging someone's unit tests.... Absolute nightmare
-
tfw either some IP sanctions or some bombings in Iran fuck up your Linux distro
guizz pls, we're trying to nerd here2 -
My first experience with Firefox 57 (aka "Quantum"):
WHERE THE FUCK DID MY TEXT GO.
HOLY SHIT! HOW CAN YOU FUCK UP SOMETHING LIKE TEXT RENDERING.
Then I installed nightly and it worked again. -
Fuck Mozilla! !!
Why do yu mess everything up
My app looks nice and neat in Chrome
Load up Firefox and the whole thing crumbles21 -
Fuck you Linux! I thought user password validation would be a piece of cake, like bash one liner. How wrong could I be!
Yeah, it's already ugly to grep hash and salt from /etc/shadow, but I could accept that. But then give me a friggin' tool to generate the hash. And of course the distro I chose has the wrong makepswd, OpenSSL is too old to have the new SHA-512 built in, as it should be a minimal installation I don't want to use perl or python...
And the stupid crypto function that would do me the job is even included in glibc. So it's only one line of C-code to give me all I want, but there is no package that would provide me this dull binary? Instead I will have to compile it myself and then again remove the compiler to keep image small?5 -
Why tf does Bitbucket always fuck up commits after 3am........
190 file changes happened - only one was commited....11 -
Installed Kali Linux alongside Arch Linux. Earlier I was using systemd boot manager. Now that I've installed Kali, grub was installed along with it. Now when I boot arch via grub it's not loading.
Some of the daemons are loading and then it stops there itself.
Please help...13 -
Fuck my integration tests. They fail everytime in another way. Every computer restart other gremlins get into the machine and fuck up the tests another way. I've got no fuckin idea where to even start....2
-
First week of work as a fresher, had to run my code on the server, compiled them on my system and moved them to the server, they weren't running, tried a lot to find the problem, then in frustration and haste deleted a few other important files on the server. Then realised the architectures of my system and the server were different. FML
PS: restored the deleted files from backup, so it's cool now -
So as it turns out, the redemption of client money has failed.
About £4k just sitting there.
I was doing testing earlier, and accidentally left the endpoint at sandbox, all of the payments failed, so we have to mock the payment in now, once we get internet back.1 -
Finally. Fuck you, Spain, and fuck its stupid government. I won't be there when they end up ruining it all 😁.
Agora eu sou orgulhoso cidadão portugués.
Suck it, perro sanxe.12 -
Fuck you mysql and your new fucked up 8.0 login. Fuck you 100 times. Now I need to restore my computer because of you.4
-
The company firewall blocking rabbitmq messages?!
WTF admins?!
Developing inside company structures is the pure fuck-up! -
Whoever's idea it was to fuck with the comments section in the YouTube app, your job title should be re-evaluated because you are a fuck up.5
-
FUCK.... FUCK THE FUCK
When I test my app everything works
When someone tests SHIT doesn't work on signing up user
WTF !!!!!
if you have the time try registering
Info doesn't hve to be legit
Just make sure password is >= 4 characters
https://lenode.herokuapp.com5 -
In what ways a software projects can be screwed? Please suggest creative ways to fuck up a software project !7
-
I love docker swarm, but ffs can we finally get get real clients IP address inside? I am sick of the single point of failure fuck up, docker team!!!2
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The fuck is up with r/web_programming? At first I thought all the completely uneducated questions were funny, but now it's just frustrating
-
The fact that Windows 10 needs its own bootloader as the primary to update and fuck up GRUB is beyond me, so much for “supporting Linux”. Fuck you Microshit.
-
Not so tech savvy family member just asked for the router password to set up a network printer. I just hope they don't fuck up my settings (ip's and port forwarding and such) o_O
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