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There was a problem with a server we were staging on, and I was providing DevOps help remote.
As a joke I said, "haha if you run `sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root` everything will be fixed!"
They ran it. RIP server-kun 2016-2018 💨34 -
My first try at 3D printing. Currently selling it on Shapeways, good thing they were celebrating and didn't have to pay for transportation. What do you think of my joke? :D
17 -
So...
It seems that I am building a toolbar for IE11.
Send me your wishes and love.
P.S. Not a joke30 -
I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.
STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!11 -
On the feedback form of a new app I started using, I gave several suggestions of features I'd really like to have. As a joke, number 6 was "hire me and Ill write them".
They didn't take it as a joke. Im now 3/4 of the way through their hiring process and they like me the best of all applicants.
9 -
Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.
Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.
Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.
“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.9 -
Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.
OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.
Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.
OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.
I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?11 -
I don't really like that corny ass joke about going to the grocery store and buying eggs or whatever the fuck it is, but this.... This is fucking hilarious.
There's a solid 75% chance that Caecilia is a programmer.
10 -
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:
Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:
Shepherd: “Okay.”
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,
Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”
The shepherd cheers,
Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,
Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”
The young man answers;
Man: “Yes, why not?”
Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."
Man: “How did you know?”
Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"3 -
I've always made this joke, but it happened for real.
There was a existing bug in our machine for a very long time. So long that the validation engineer now treats it as a feature and they raised a issue when the bug was fixed :/7 -
So I'm searching for jobs and found one wanting an app developer, but on the website it says this:
"Be up to date with IOS and Play Store Coding language"
So with that in mind anyone know where I can learn Play store coding language?
Lol what a fucking joke...12 -
"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"6 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."5 -
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"3 -
*Me and my workmates laughing and having fun before going home*
Me: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
Workmate 1: What is it?
Me: Look at your code.
...
...
...
Other workmates: BURRRRRNNNN!!!!4 -
This is just my token of appreciation for the Skype devs. Can't begin to say how much I hate it. Your android app is a joke even after a host of updates, your desktop client is an even bigger joke (atleast Linux Beta version, I know betas aren't supposed to be stable but this is ridiculous).
You have reinvented chat clients to be extremely bulky, cumbersome and very hard to sync across devices. And you have managed to make it "buffer" more than a YouTube video does on a 2G network. I for one, am blown over by how you did that. And to top it all, you can't close the client on Linux atleast! All you did is just override the close button so that it only minimises it. Brilliant piece of work right there!
Why the hell can't you just close the client and run it in the background the proper way like everyone else does? Why does it have to take 20 *** seconds to open a message? The only reason I am stuck with this is some wierdos in the office still only use this. Get your shit together 😡
Ahh.. I feel much better now.18 -
I managed to recycle a joke. Here is me using fedora:
:~$ sudo apt-get install vim
Who is apt-get?
:~$ oops sorry, I meant dnf
Who's apt-get?
:~$ sudo dnf install vim
Maybe you should ask apt-get to install it4 -
S: Do you want to hear a UDP joke?
C: Yes I would like to hear a UDP joke.
S: ...
S: ...
C: ...?...?...?
S: Well I don't care if you get it!
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke".
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke"
Peer1: "Why d"
Peer2: "cken "
Peer3: "road?"
Peer4: "id th"
Peer3: "cross"
Peer1: "e chi"
Peer5: " the"
Peer2: "the o"
Peer4: "To ge"
Peer1: "side."
Peer5: "ther"
Peer2: "t to"4 -
I made this a couple of years ago for a joke but no one really got it.
It's a printable smartwatch that always tells the right time, no need for charging...
19 -
The magical solution to everything.
It reminds me of the time when we were watching The Great Gatsby movie in honors English class. The the projector wouldn't work.
As a joke, one kid said, "try turning it off and turning it back on."
The whole class roared with laughter, until it actually worked. They stared at it in silence.
3 -
Well.. I'm a front end developer and this quote is my favourite.
"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good. "4 -
Me Looking for jobs in IT:
<Random java joke>
"Were looking for a Java front end developer"
<Javascript logo>
🤔🤔🤔1 -
*wiggles the mouse on my Windows box to activate it again and watch some videos while eating*
Le wild BSOD appears!!
Windows used KERNEL_SECURITY_CHECK_FAILURE!!! It's super effective!
Hah! Well, you know.. it's fucking true. Windows' kernel security is a fucking joke.
First time that I actually laughed at a BSOD like this. Thanks Microshit!19 -
!rant
I've begun writing my own joke language called Die. Use it to tell your boss, client, or partner how you feel about them!
https://github.com/JackRiales/Die23 -
React is actually pretty nice. Im probs saying this because it handles oop stuff like java would and im extremely fucking biased, but its a lot more enjoyable than angular.
Also if you get the joke in this pic (found in the react tutorial), hats off to you, it made me lol
7 -
I told a joke at work today.
It's so good that I've been called to the HR department. I assume they want to hear it too.6 -
Do you ever made something as a joke but then spend 6 days on it straight and it isn't a joke anymore?3
-
Coworker: According to science, people who work with math or computers are least likely to get divorced.
Me: Well that's because they're least likely to get married.
Coworker: ...In order to participate in the study you had to be married at least once
Me: It was a joke, man!
Coworker: Well it wasn't a funny one!
Me: ...it was to me...7 -
There are 10 types of people in the world:
-Those who understand binary
-Those who don't
-Those who didn't expect a joke in trinary
-Those who keep it going with quaternary
-Those who cohort with quinary
-Those who use senary instead
-Those who think septenary is lucky
-Those who think octonary is prosperous
-And the Windows Naming Committee
See, 10.7 -
Decided yesterday night that it was time to leave this joke of a company. Updated my CV, changed my pic on my CV and posted the CV on Monster.
15 phone calls, 4 emails, 3 adds on LinkedIn, 3 planned interviews and this is just the morning.13 -
I was working on an Arduino counter (an inside joke) and I somehow sent 12V to an IC I was using.
🔥🎆🌬💨
it burned out.
I'll leave now3 -
CEO calls the Android team in for a congratulatory speech. Likens us to tower builders in the age of cellular tech, building the infrastructure of something great. Then finishes his talk with “and when they were finished, they fired all the tower builders”
I think he was trying to joke, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.5 -
Today I quit my job lol.
In my two previous stories I told you guys about a job offering I got, and after a few more incidents in my old job, I decided I take it.
No, this is not an april fools joke, though it felt quite bad to tell my team lead that I quit on april fools day.
Due to notice period I'll begin my new work at first of july this year, can't wait <33 -
I just realized...
Next step... 10k... or whatever it takes to get a unicorn 🤗🤗🤔🤔😙😙
...so now this can go 2 ways 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
-Get upvoted so I get to 10k
-Get downvoted so I'm back under 9000
Or we just all take this as a joke 😀😀😀
7 -
This morning my girlfriend told me about the network at her school constantly disconnecting, to which I jokingly replied "So, it doesn't deserve candy". She came back with "But it's already asking for so many cookies"...
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One day Linus Torvalds will make a statement about git like: "Why is everybody using this? It was just a joke!"2
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When you make a tech-ish joke and you have to explain it because your coworkers aren't that tech-ish.2
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Another crappy job advertisement this time courtesy of Glassdoor: get spammed to death by job ads.
So it says graduate software engineer but they want someone with ideally 1 -3 years of B2 experience, seriously how is this fair?
Like with my other job ad rants:
What a fucking joke, lol
7 -
- Hey I have to add new field, but this class is autogenerated, I do not know what tool generates it"
- Your fingers
- But this class has over 20k lines of codes and the header says it is autogenerated.
- It is a inside joke, it was generated by hand6 -
This is what my roommate got handed to him at a lecture. Completely written in Comic Sans, everything is in fucking comic sans and it is not a joke! 🤣
18 -
At first I got excited about the new MacBook Air specs. Then I saw the price... It's a fucking joke to spend so much money for this trash ass hardware you get for it. I mean 1400€ for dual core 8gb ram 128gb ssd?!?!?!
Fuck you8 -
Bezelless displays are a joke. Even the regular displays like this one from my laptop don't need nearly as much bezel as they're usually given.
The black indent at the top of the picture is hiding the display controller, which can easily be moved to the back. The rest of it.. a little bit of internal frame to keep the LCD intact during impacts on the outer case but that's about it.
11 -
Y'all need to chill!
**DO NOT** downvote a newbie's post without telling them why. It may sound like a spam to you, but it's someone's best effort at an icebreaker joke. 😠63 -
Windows servers are a joke. A bad joke.
I feel sorry for people who have to work on them and have that as their profession you never used Linux
If someone came up to me and said we should use a windows server for this I'd laugh in his face and fire him. Seriously. I would.
That's how much I hate them. Got it? Ok good ... I'm calm now 😎
65 -
Multiple things.
- Music. Especially the most destructive/brutal/aggressive rawstyle tracks. Currently Nolz ft Killshot - Rauwdouwer gives me a mega boost.
Also the Rawstyle Nation YouTube channel is one of my favourite places.
- reminding myself how far I've gotten and how much I actually known already.
- Alcohol. Yeah kinda a joke but damn can it put aside my doubts!15 -
Richard Stallman.
Software must be free in order to empower it's users. GNU/Linux wouldn't exist without this person, and open-source would be a tired and sad joke if it wasn't for free software.5 -
A social network for diabetic people.
I was the one who came up with the idea tbh
(It was a joke) Dia-buddies
(Hi Esben lol)5 -
[ Meanwhile in python ] I thought it was just a joke , and now i take it seriously '😂😂😂!
(Old one)
2 -
Super stressed.
What I did is:
1. git pull --rebase
2. Forgot to build to check if everything is working after pulling new changes
3. git push
4. Now, I realized I forgot to implement a method of the recently changed interface.
It's a production code. Not a joke. And was my first push to prod and I messed it up.
Sad life. Fixing it. Senior Devs must be crazy for my silly mistake.8 -
Telling a UDP joke to someone who doesn't work in the Information Technology industry won't go over very well...because they probably don't get IT.2
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And I thought they had removed all of the joke questions from SO! I haven't seen this one, maybe it was lost to time.
8 -
I want to get this fake axe: https://amazon.com/Realistic-woodcu...
I want to hang on my wall at work and label it:
"merge conflict resolution tool".
Is that too violent for a joke?
9 -
(Joke || Rant)
This guy came with this joke.
Ok, funny.
Then months later you realise he pushed this tweaked prototype to master, and now this code is shipped in production and it actually prints some idiotic sentence about flat earth on console output.
Ok, idiot.
It's not my project, but sometimes I'm wondering what people have in their minds when using version control and ship crap...
-
Apple 4k Tv is a joke 😂
& for the price you get a xbox one s which supports 4k too + you can play games on it
18 -
Alright, I know people joke about this but I just spent 4 hours debugging a 50 line chunk of code, and the first time it worked without errors it scared me🙃3
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LMAO. Had a tough day and finally heading home with most likely the last bus for today.
But his comment made my day. 😆
// I genuinely found it so funny hence shared in joke 😬
4 -
Byron (reckful) has committed suicide. He was one of the first big streamers on Twitch and a game developer.
He was suffering from depression and has been for quite some time. He always appears happy around friends. He did "joke" about committing suicide on his last stream. Watching the clip makes it obvious that there was some truth to the "joke".
Also, remember that you never know what someone online is suffering from or how that person may interpret a joke. Be careful and think about how your message is received.
Please seek help if you have suicidal thoughts or even signs of depression. It's not a sign of weakness. We all need help sometimes.7 -
This is from the 70s. It can easily be updated to the present day, but it has a certain charm just the way it is:
Three women sat discussing their husbands and their sex lives.
"My husband's a wrestler," said the first. "He's really strong and aggressive in bed."
"My husband's an artist," said the second. "He's really gentle and sensitive."
"My husband's an IBM salesman," said the third. "He sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be when I finally get it." -
https://bugs.launchpad.net/unity/...
I would post it as a joke if it were one :) Turns out It's a very real bug!
LightDM is allergic to cats3 -
Had a conference call and one of the guys said something along the lines of "I can handle the load (ticket load)" didn't even thought about it my mouth instinctively reacted with "that's what she said".
A couple of guys laughed but the other few just "wooooow"ed like if I had thrown a 9/11 joke.
This is not a rant perse, just a reminder that if I ever launch my own startup I shall look to hire "joke sensitive" people to make my scrum meetings as awkward as possible.4 -
This is just straight up a joke. Head of data science has had us implementing something based on a paper.
I raised some "concerns" about it a while ago. Found out today they'd not even read the paper. We're pretty sure what we've been asked to work on doesn't solve the problem it's meant to solve...3 -
Recently bought some programmer T-shirts
made me popular, now I am known as the guy with the cool shirts.one of them has this on it:
2b || !2b ? "2b" : "!2b"
my fav joke now
I use these shirts to make friends and it actually works, you should also try ;)11 -
Challenges sister to a typing contest.
Finishes his turn and switches the keyboard to Dvorak.
Sister types every word wrong except a and h.
Laughs hilariously.
*Sister throws the keyboard at the wall*
Totally worth it.1 -
I finally perfected a script that helps me fix my procrastination! It hooks into DNS's log and spies on my and blocks me if i get too addicted!
No joke I spent on it likely cumulatively over 48 hours of pure coding time but it was worth it.
If anyone would like to take a look or criticize my coding, here it is: https://github.com/meowxiik/...8 -
Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.
So, kids, comment your code!14 -
You know that USB joke... well you see this cable fits both ways... Sort of except one doesn't work and will if you force it I guess u could break the input
15 -
What a joke PayPal's so called testing environment is!
Last time I tried to use it, PayPal told me not to try because it doesn't work.2 -
i got my account perma-locked on twitter over a joke the other day and the only presented option was to delete my account. Apparently you talk about cool shit all day and 2 people see it, but you make a joke about a bad neighborhood and 700 people flag literally every tweet and reply you've ever made.13
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didn't anyone go for the "#define true false" joke? i didn't actually see it in action, but it would be a pretty harsh one.1
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Who doesn't want to know the weather in the good ol' Middle of Nowhere?
Wondering whether or not it is a joke by the devs :D
1 -
What kind of sick joke is it that the url for camelCase on wikipedia is www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camel_case2
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Hate it when I see the same Programming Meme/Joke on 10 Different accounts 50 times. *fuckResposts(), even though I do them a lot...
-
Four beers with an expiry date of 2022. What do you do? Easy, drink three so you don't care about the expiry date of the fourth and enjoy.
Didn't tag it as joke because it's seriously what I just did12 -
I just found out there's a 418 HTTP status code that stands for "I'm a teapot", specified by RFC2324 which "describes HTCPCP, a protocol for controlling, monitoring, and diagnosing coffee pots". I know it's an april fools joke but I still find it hilarious that there is an RFC for that.9
-
I hate that "integer overflows" have become somewhat pop culture because anytime I see someone try to use it in a joke, they use it wrong.
I've even seen people confuse them with stack overflows and be like "my intelligence is so low it stack underflowed and became the max of an integer value!"
Or "It overflowed and became zero again" ah, I guess it happened to be unsigned and overflowed by precisely 1 then eh?
So cringe15 -
My country's "track" and trace system.
... A fucking joke, especially when you consider the fact it uses Excel as the FUCKING Database!15 -
Fun game: find a random tech meme/joke and search it in google with "site:devrant.com". If you find it - you drink4
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Of the rants that have tags, it seems like half of them contain some sort of non-tag that is dry wit, self-aware joke, or humorous comment.8
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So I was playing with deauthing because I was curious about to and I got this little deauthing tool and I no joke fucked up my whole network for hours.
In my house we recently had tplink smart light switches installed and that created 40 more iot devices on the network. Soooo I disconnected them all at once and also cloned my AP so they went into this limbo state where they could not connect to anything and also for some reason Ethernet stopped working I think my isp thought I was getting a DOS attack or something idk but no joke took me hours to fix it.3 -
Girlfriend: I don't get why you love me...
Me: Maybe I should write a Setter method to make it clear.
She didn't understand that joke ._.3 -
God I fucking hate Javascript.
- unknown operator
- type coercion
- sorting always works alphabetically (lmao)
- literally started as a joke
why can't it be normal and predictable, or at least mildly comfortable to use?24 -
I was a foreign language student, but i didn't like the way my work-life was going (I had a lot of difficulties tryng to find a job).
So I decided to start programming... It appears i'm still studying "languages".
Is my life a joke?7 -
Maybe time to implement a dupe-check making it impossible to post the same joke/meme more than x times in a 3 month period? Sorry guys but some jokes are just getting very repetitive..1
-
Watching IT crowd AGAIN after seeing a joke my brother didn't understand. Lol. (A fire? At a sea parks?)
-
i transferred money to my US account and it "arrived" tuesday
however, due to the absolute JOKE of the US banking system, its now FRIDAY, and THE MONEY STILL ISNT CREDITED TO MY ACCOUNT
i saw once on a video a guy was basically explaining "transfers" in US banks essentially actually just movements of text files on FTP servers somewhere? Is this really true?9 -
Start my new job on April 1st (yes I know, I show up and get sacked on the spot as an April fools joke) and I'm hoping they are accommodating when it comes to operating systems but deep down I can already hear the windows xp boot sound .-.2
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"I hate this in javascript, because I never know what it is referring to."
Read this joke here some months ago. Today i learned why it's so funny -
Can someone explain the node_modules joke to me please? I've seen it quite a bit now, but I still don't get it. (Attached an example from https://devrant.com/rants/760537/...). Thanks in advance.
5 -
Bit of a joke, bit of an actual question. But who here, if you had the money to do it, would buy an offshore oil rig to repurpose and rebuild into a nation of their own? (i.e. MGSV)2
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devRant needs some sort of Offspring-of-Clippy tool.
"It looks like you're posting a sort-of-humorous-the-first-time joke or meme. Have you bothered to scroll more than twice to see if this dead horse has, indeed, been well flogged?" 😜 -
So my colleague sees an iPad on a desk that someone has left by accident. He puts in the wrong password a bunch of times to lock it for an hour as a joke and accidentally wipes it!! Turns out it was about to be used for end of sprint client demo 😂2
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"New facebook dating service! It's absolutely free! Just sign this user agreement and durable power of attorney. We promise we won't rape you with it later. "
It's a joke now, but probably not for much longer. -
DevRant has increased my asshole-ery. Reading work design docs and I keep thinking, "really? That's your choice? Obviously this is a joke. You expect us to do what?? In what timeframe?"2
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past time: Making jokes on programmer humor forums about the jokes being told on the humor forum.
fall out: Autists who don't get the joke of the joke and genuinely think they need to explain the original joke even though it is "obvious" it was a play on words.
struggle: Resisting explaining to them the joke on the joke. And if I break down and explain, trying not to be a condescending prick. Most of the time I don't respond.
3 -
I think my laptop is living and hates me... I press shutdown (Yes the actual windows shutdown and not long-press power button) I close my Laptop, expecting it to shutdown, right? Nope... It goes to sleep mode and next time I open it up, it continues to shutdown... It's like it doesn't want to shutdown and is playing a joke on me.....13
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I thought the “works on my machine” from sysadmins is mostly a joke...
But no. I’m attending the Polish high school and I have a lessons via the Internet. I wasn’t able to hear the voice of the teacher on Linux 4.18 and Chromium browser, so I sent the mail to support to report it. Of course it “works on their machines”...6 -
Cooking.
Murderous cooking.
Anger management cooking.
Joke aside, I mostly have no clue what I'm doing.
Cooking and gardening (sadly no longer a possibility) are two thing where my brain goes out and I just do it.
It has happened more than once that this has failed... But most of the time it goes surprisingly well.
I'm absolutely not an accurate or refined cook.
I hate cutting stuff "even sized"… I hate when it looks perfect. I hate swiping off drops of the plate so it looks more refined....
So yeah, it might look like puke. But it's tasty. XD11 -
If you type "Google" into Google, you can break the Internet.
So please, no one try it, even for a joke.7 -
I never thought big about Whitespaces until Hacktoberfest came by.
Fed up with the amount of PR and notifications I am getting on my repo . Most of the time they create a PR to create a Whitespace and then delete it . Now I have put up a Repository to at least add some joke instead of those Whitespaces13 -
Windows got upgraded to creators update.
Ever since it has updated, the battery life has decreased drastically, laptop used to last around 8.5 hours of daily usage, now its down to 3.
WTF, man.
I know surface has got its pro's, but shit, 5 hours of battery loss is no joke and certainly a big task to achieve.4 -
lol my life is a joke
E: I've found it in css of a project I work on after some well paid consultant. And no, it was not temporary.
5 -
I hate this joke. It makes zero sense; not something I'd expect to see all over an app for devs!
A factory creates something, if I already have a problem, why would I need a factory to create more?
3 -
We are currently learning SQL with MSAccess (it's much too easy haha) at school... our teacher doesnt even know how to set primary key, so he asked us and we all knew it already😂
To understand that joke: we are 14-15 years old -
The only thing we can do is make a joke about the other bots that are not always in their own mind or if it's just an issue for them and then the other one ☝️ and then you don't get them in your mail to the right place for a long list of all that people you know you are not so far out and it's a joke that is why you haven't even paid for it and it's a lot easier for them but it's just like 👍 is not just the way of things like 👍 is the one ☝️ you don't have it on it but you can't even get the word for that one ☝️ or something that's what it looks it up 🆙 is it a lot better then it's not the one ☝️ thing that you don't have it on it or so you know it looks bad it's a joke it's a bad joke and you can't find a way you don't have a lot to me but I don't know 🤷♂️ or you want me to be like 👍 but you do not have any more than me I don't know 🤷♂️ but that's what I'm talking you know that I'm going through the whole time I'm going through the wrong 😑 thing I've been to you to see if this one ☝️ or I just want you to do something like 👍12
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Idea: postpone risky decisions to the 1st of April and say it was a joke if people don't like it.
~~Or keep them to troll people even harder~~ -
Bragging about knowing how to hack the company's emails definitely gets you into trouble. And then coming out clean and saying it was all a bluff still gets you into trouble. Hacking jokes in the office is same as a bomb joke in public(crowded) places.
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Practical joke: install an android dual boot on an iphone
http://applehacks.com/
Warning: I havent tried it myself so I dont know if its legit -
The moment when u write a sarcastic joke (comment/rant), but you do not actually post it, fearing --s from super serious people.8
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Anyone here tried the bluewhale game?
Apparently, government banned it and local tv channel is running news about it ( around 2 months after it became viral globally ). Many overnight "experts" think it is an actual mobile application game uploaded on all stores. What a joke!
I don't understand how anyone can be stupid enough to fall for such things..3 -
I'm not sure if this should be a joke or random, but the SBB train info screen in St. Gallen on platform 5 just decided to interpret the data given a bit differently than intended.
It is not broken and no other screen has that problem. What could it be, I wonder. But I don't care enouht to post it as a question.
I guess random would have been more appropriate.
14 -
If the christian god exists, then I'll go to hell because of my sexual orientation. Little do they know, as I wake up there, I'll make two steps back to pick up a chainsaw. It's there and I know it.
Dear god, watch out. Your days are numbered. I'll make Nietzsche "god is dead" stuff look like a fucking joke.
I'm coming for you.12 -
An app to find port-a-potties (or port-a-potty’s?) near you... more of a joke tbh but I did consider it for a second.3
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Microsoft Teams 👎
Luckily most of our company uses Zoom, which is great UX-wise. But MS Teams... What a joke!
I've even been on a call with MS engineers for some Office integration support. Of course, they scheduled a Teams meeting. It was embarrassing how bad the quality and connections were. But likely they simply don't know any better...13 -
Maybe this is naive, but I feel if an application/feature is strategically important to a company, at least two developers should always be assigned to support it routinely. This great resignation is no joke, and I’m getting tired of being the last man standing here. I’m too old for this shit.8
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There are 10 kind of people:
-those who will not get this at all
-those who expected 10 to be in base 10
-those who are used to the joke with 10 in base 2
-those who will think 10 is in base 6
-those who will add kinds of people and say that my interpretation of "10" was wrong (a subset of those will make the second group be rigth)
-those who will help me to find a way to recursively break this joke (pls, help, i can't find it... 😭😭)3 -
Daily stand-ups might seem like a joke when done remotely, but I believe they help unite the team, and they play a key role for project managers, even if they're brief. The bigger issue might be just some of the dev's attitude towards it, and the lack of communication through out the project development.4
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OK so I have this joke its not fine tuned yet but I'm gonna try it anyway, tell me what you think:
If I ever buy a sex robot I would get 2, male and female, that way I can turn them on before I leave for work in the morning and by the time I get home they would both be exponentially better.3 -
R.I.P John Doe
He made the mistake of writing unmaintainable code then leaving the team.
I just heard of his passing.
He was brutally beaten to death by the new maintainer. Now the maintainer is behind bars.
And now I've been asked to maintain it.
R.I.P Me as well I guess
Joke of course.6 -
Do you guys remember the fun little joke utility called fuck that corrected typos?
While debugging an absurd 2s shell load time, I noticed today that the command it appends to .bashrc to _set a fucking alias_ takes almost 400ms to execute.1 -
Not sure whether to tag this as a rant or a joke, because it feels like equal parts of both. So fucking disappointed with Australian government.
2 -
Anyone else finds it a funny as me that Snapchat (meh) got in more trouble for making a joke about it that Chris Brown got from punching a woman in the face multiple times?
What a time to be alive. -
Ok so today in class a friend asks me "Can you teach me hacking? I'll give you 20 dollars"
I tell him
1. I don't have interests in hacking neither do i have any experience with hacking
2. He is the type of guy to not pay me
3. He can just search it up
He also asked me a couple of weeks ago to do do the homework/assessment task for him for $20 as-well
I think he only thought i knew how to hack is because for a joke i made a bash cli thingo that changes the colours to black and green and he saw it while i was using it as a joke showing another friend3 -
Simple reminder. The joke behind this is that he said everyone will forget about it soon. I have a recurrent appointment about it
6 -
Budgie isn't my best match, but I'm not gonna go back to deepin either. It broke my heart and now I'm done so it can choke on my non-existant dick. *inset darth vader joke*
Can someone pleeeeeeeaaaaaase make some DE that looks pleasant (take lessons from kde/deepin/budgie/mac/whatever) and runs on arch? Please please pretty please?14 -
Windows 10 is just a bad joke at this point. First it doesn't show any text in the menus, now it fucks up all the drivers. I really need to scrap it and install literally ANY other os in order to improove my experience but I keep telling myself that it doesn't really make sense until I have a new harddrive and I keep wondering if the Evo850 is worth it. Fuck the saturday night struggle.5
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Had an skype job interview, at some point the interviewer asked me to tell a joke. I told a dead baby joke. I dont know normal jokes. I am not normal either. Dont think he enjoyed it.3
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to add a bit of fancyness i print the scripts name and 'by' my 'artists name' whenever scripts are executed. today i got a call 'it says error on line 1, what did i do wrong?' i am still laughing tears. did not consider this programmers joke to have an impact irl.1
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A fjord in the south of Greenland last summer. (Hiking rather than climbing, but it works for the purpose of the joke.) What was worse was coming back down again, it was raining.
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Friend: <tells me a joke>
Me: Hahahaha! That is so humerus!
Friend: It is spelled: humorous.
Me: Yeah, I really boned the spelling on that one. -
when I try to… ah, I don't care. Make it up yourself. I don't have the mental capacity to make a funny joke here.
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I am sick of Android cave dwellers go outside everytime iOs released and make their old tired “inNOvatIon” joke.
Apple does not say we brought these things first, so there is no base for a joke even. But when Apple does, you can be sure it will be far more perfect than your average Android phone has, or even top end ones.11 -
Proctorio. That's the rant.
But seriously. I thought I could get out of college without running into it. But nope! Now I'm being subject to having my data sent to a company who's CEO posts private support chat logs on reddit to call a concerned student a liar. What a joke.
College is a scam1 -
So I wanted to do a quick test before going to dinner and now I'm stuck on waiting for this f*cking cloud provider to start my container.
"Provisioning 20 minutes" WHAT THE HELL!? After 20 (TWENTY) minutes my container still hasn't started!?
Is it a joke? Is some sysadmin spying on me and making me wait on purpose? What the f*1 -
I misread elgringo-s username and came up with a joke thanks to it:
What does a mexican programmer call a bad white programmer?
Err Gringo7 -
Built a pretty slick chat bot for my company’s conferences that used Google’s Dialogflow for natural language processing and conversation state
It worked from a web chat or SMS. Allowed manual responding by agents as well as the chat bot. Pulled dynamic answers through a 3rd party API integration
Most common questions “what is the wifi password” and “tell me a joke”
Project was killed after 2 conferences - thankfully it only took me a few weeks to build4 -
My bank just switched from RSA SecurID to SMS-based 2-factor authentication, claiming it offers "equal security".
Is it not common knowledge that SMS 2FA is a security joke?? What the fuck guys?!? -
Actually devRant April fools joke got me I tought it was the real number till I realized it was April 1st
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My job college exam.
It's my favourite because it was a fucking joke sheet.
They allowed us to use all our previously gained knowledge which we had stored on our laptops.
Needless to say the exam was over in about an hour.1 -
Are the pixelated avatars devRant's April's Fools joke for this year? Is it a bug? Is it a feature?7
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Coding taught me to be patient, understanding, and accept my mistakes.
Don't blame the computer when things are going wrong; it is just doing that it is being told to do. If you acknowledge that you might be to blame too, sit down and have a calm conversation with it (debugging joke😂), things will be alright. -
How it hurts when @iamdevloper on Twitter constantly wants to make funny joke but no one laughs...3
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Thank you theabbie for giving your location on your devrant profile. Some devranter might be able yto meet you though it will certainly be mot me unless that is a joke. Inputting the location writen in the brackets gives a location somehwere is navi mumbai
22 -
Here’s a joke I keep remembering on DevRant:
Someone asks about PHP in Great Britain being €.
Others responding saying to make it go faster you put the actual conversion rate €(0.88)
LOL
I still crack the fuck up thinking about it1 -
Wrote a joke just now, before posting it I switched to another app to check some message & when I got back post the rant/joke the post was gone. It seems the app was swapped out of the memory 😶😫
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Happy Pi Day, it just started as a joke that radiated out, it's not rational, but don't constantly be diametrically opposed to it!
I spent morning writing that, waiting for tests to finish. -
I cringe every time I see someone joke about a new "framework" coming out every other day.
This is a serious problem, guys! Instead of piling up crappy, undocumented "frameworks", why not go to one that works well, and improve it.
It's a lot easier to learn how to design and develop when you're working with others who have been at it a lot longer than you.1 -
GODAMNFUUUCKIIIT
WHICH EVER IDIOT PROGRAMMED HALYARD SHOULD DIE A SLOW DEATH IN HELL!!!
A CD TOOL HAVING THE WORST INSTALLER EVER IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE YOU COULD COME UP WITH!!! FUCK NETFLIX FUCK SPINNAKER FUCK EVERY BIT OF SHIT TOOLING THAT COMES FROM IT!!!!! -
Not sure if this should be joke/meme or not:
https://iflscience.com/uranus-exper...
https://physics-astronomy.com/uranu...2 -
"- Hello I work on this shitty Drupal project where the vendor directory is gitted, and we can't use composer becauses it returns error [note: i wish this was a joke]. So I installed a module that won't work, because it needs a depency. I installed it but it still doesn't work
- You need to edit your autoloader
- Ok, what do I put in it?
- Idk, you're not supposed to do it, and let composer do it for you"
Did I ever tell you how the Drupal stack exchange will one day make me turn into a serial killer? -
Responding to a numb sales guys joke with "do you know the best about UDP jokes? - I don't care if you don't get it! " ...turnin around left the hallway... Unbeatable
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A little more than a year ago I attended to this coding bootcamp where the leading instructor made us open up Vim and told a joke about "those guys who can't quit Vim". It still hurts, but it's getting better every time I get the chance to do the same with others.1
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Manager: Oh, this feature freeze you where talking about was no joke?
Me: Yes, that's why we have written it into the protocol of the Last Meeting and everyone agreed...
Manager: Thats nonsense, add more Features! -
CEO of my company often walks in our office with a joke: "I can't hear you do bit & byte".
I still don't catch it. -
this is a repost organization post. each time you are going to post a classical joke, please find it from items below, and write as comment, the number of the repost. and people will give you ++'s to your comments as if you actually reposted the post. also, feel free to make additions to the list. syntax is:
"(n): [repost context]" for a new item (please do not mess with the order)
"-- [n]: [personal comment]" for simulating the repost.
here we go:
(0): the comic strip about rescuing princesses in different languages.
(1): in case of fire git commit, git push, leave the building.
(2): wanna hear a udp joke? i don't care if you get it.
(3): that joke about java devs wearing glasses because they can't c#.
--------------
An example repost:
-- 0: omg princess lol :)))2 -
I'll tell you a joke,😂😂
Why didn't the website get the girl?....
Because it didn't have style 😁😁😁😁2 -
Okay, I know that osTicket, code-wise, is a fucking joke but know what? We upgraded our server to PHP7, osTicket stopped working. Okay, I need the newest version that it works, I downloaded it. It failed at database migration cause it's not PHP5 but I need it cause it should support PHP7...Wtf??!
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Scrum masters are a joke. I think we should take half of their salary and tack it on to the tech lead and let him run the show.6
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So first day in the course (https://devrant.com/rants/2049071/...), the lecturer want's to tell us a joke but forgets the punchline...
While he is trying to remember, everyone is like "let's Google it" And proceed to open their phones.
So someone in the back says, what are you guys? Geeks? Let's duck it!3 -
I mean, seriously, people joke about this, but does a new version of angular get released every week or something? How is anyone supposed to keep up? Let alone find the right version of the documentation to reference?
I’m sure learning angular will be worth it in the end... maybe.2 -
Why does GDB always set the bloody break point one line above or below where I want it to be. This is driving me nuts. It's like its author deliberately planted a nasty practical joke in the code.3
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I dont understand why people talk so much crap about python. How it "pseudocode".. yea its a" joke" i get it. But if whoever is making said joke dont even know what pythonic programming is , nor practice it. Then said person dont really know how to code in python.. its more like modified c++ and they cant talk crap.
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SHUT IT DOWN !
SHUT IT DOWN FOREVER !
APPARENTLY THE DREAM OF INSPIRING THE NEXT GENERATION TO VIEW THIS ALL AS HORROR DIDN'T SET IN DESPITE JENNIFER CONNELLY AND HER FINE TITS MAKING AN APPEARANCE AND I MADE THIS JOKE TWICE NOW !
6 -
Obligatory joke about how much I need coffee in the mornings and the ways in which I cannot function until I've had it.
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Okay okay.
Zero Touch Provisioning and cisco devices is a joke.
You buy serveral devices for thousands of dollars and want to provision on startup.
And this shitty thing just tells me I that it is not possible to start ZTP on its management port. Oh my god.
And you cant even provide a plain config file. No it muste be a python script that will be executed on the router.
This is hilarious2 -
Solaris CBE is a joke. Oracle, do us a favor and donate this operating system soon to try to recover it from the disaster that was the death of OpenSolaris.
Support Illumos and leave this task to those who like it and know what they are doing. -
Microsoft? what a fucking joke
I do /remotelogout in skype. Next thing you know you can’t relogin with skype for WP. It says “*login successful, but we can’t log you in right now*”. Peace of shit.
On Android works with no problems, I wonder why WP has 0,00000000NULL% market share. -
Sudden flashback of the time in high school I made a joke so controversial that I have to go to the discipline room.
I went around people told them the word of that day was "legs", and I spread it the word of the day evenly . 😁😁😁 -
Guidewire is the work of satan. It is the worst framework I have ever worked with. OOTB code is full of antipatterns, creating gui is a pain, and it has its own language that is a pure joke. Every task I had had to have some sort of workarounds. You cant junit test it. Entity builders are a mess and you cant mock gosu classes. I hate it so much.
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Scrum-meetings-and-process-planning meeting. Not a joke!!
It was actually called like this and took 2 days. We planned how we are going to try scrum... In the next retrospective, we were back to the way we were doing it before. -
I assume most of you know the shortest joke ever : 1
but the question is : is it fun just b/c the 0 is not fun for the majority of the people and things it's put on?7 -
Would be a perfect joke if it read "Then it's true" (or maybe "Then it's 22")
Now it's more like the kind of joke your annoying boss would make to "act smart around tech guys"
2 -
Just started reading Cracking the Coding Interview and I just can't help but think this whole thing is a joke. The author can't even give a convincing argument why learning algorithm is important for interview. She simply states word for word: it is what it is.
I google her a bit and find that she started her venture Careercup.com and the website is such a joke. How can you even call yourself a software engineer with a website like that. I am pretty sure she using some kind of wordpress engine.
I can't imagine how many people that work at FANG companies that think like her..8 -
i hate it when Im coding and my friends joke around and call me a hacker or nerd when they couldn't even print anything if i told them how to do it plus its not hacking if you believe its hacking when im typing code on python or c# online then you need to go back to school6
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Every time I tweet something... I regret it - and then I go back to find it and delete it - or add an update comment... and I can't find it...
Every time...
It is a ghost? Or is Twitter's UI an inside joke?
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