There was a problem with a server we were staging on, and I was providing DevOps help remote.

As a joke I said, "haha if you run `sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root` everything will be fixed!"

They ran it. RIP server-kun 2016-2018 💨

My first try at 3D printing. Currently selling it on Shapeways, good thing they were celebrating and didn't have to pay for transportation. What do you think of my joke? :D

nixcraft being nixcraft.

So...

It seems that I am building a toolbar for IE11.

Send me your wishes and love.

P.S. Not a joke

Saw this one on twitter. lol

I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.

STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!

On the feedback form of a new app I started using, I gave several suggestions of features I'd really like to have. As a joke, number 6 was "hire me and Ill write them".

They didn't take it as a joke. Im now 3/4 of the way through their hiring process and they like me the best of all applicants.

Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.

Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.

Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.

“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”

I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.

OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.

Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.

OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.

I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

I’ll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it.

I’ll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it.

I don't really like that corny ass joke about going to the grocery store and buying eggs or whatever the fuck it is, but this.... This is fucking hilarious.

There's a solid 75% chance that Caecilia is a programmer.

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:

Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:

Shepherd: “Okay.”

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,

Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”

The shepherd cheers,

Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”

The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,

Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”

The young man answers;

Man: “Yes, why not?”

Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."

Man: “How did you know?”

Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"

I've always made this joke, but it happened for real.

There was a existing bug in our machine for a very long time. So long that the validation engineer now treats it as a feature and they raised a issue when the bug was fixed :/

So I'm searching for jobs and found one wanting an app developer, but on the website it says this:

"Be up to date with IOS and Play Store Coding language"

So with that in mind anyone know where I can learn Play store coding language?

Lol what a fucking joke...

As a Front-End Dev, sometime it look like that ahahaha.

Credit: toggl Goon Squad (Picture)

I know a brilliant joke about UDP but you might not get it..

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it doesn’t work.

*Me and my workmates laughing and having fun before going home*

Me: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
Workmate 1: What is it?
Me: Look at your code.

...
...
...

Other workmates: BURRRRRNNNN!!!!

This is just my token of appreciation for the Skype devs. Can't begin to say how much I hate it. Your android app is a joke even after a host of updates, your desktop client is an even bigger joke (atleast Linux Beta version, I know betas aren't supposed to be stable but this is ridiculous).

You have reinvented chat clients to be extremely bulky, cumbersome and very hard to sync across devices. And you have managed to make it "buffer" more than a YouTube video does on a 2G network. I for one, am blown over by how you did that. And to top it all, you can't close the client on Linux atleast! All you did is just override the close button so that it only minimises it. Brilliant piece of work right there!

Why the hell can't you just close the client and run it in the background the proper way like everyone else does? Why does it have to take 20 *** seconds to open a message? The only reason I am stuck with this is some wierdos in the office still only use this. Get your shit together 😡

Ahh.. I feel much better now.

I managed to recycle a joke. Here is me using fedora:

:~$ sudo apt-get install vim

Who is apt-get?

:~$ oops sorry, I meant dnf

Who's apt-get?

:~$ sudo dnf install vim

Maybe you should ask apt-get to install it

S: Do you want to hear a UDP joke?
C: Yes I would like to hear a UDP joke.
S: ...
S: ...
C: ...?...?...?
S: Well I don't care if you get it!

User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke".
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke"
Peer1: "Why d"
Peer2: "cken "
Peer3: "road?"
Peer4: "id th"
Peer3: "cross"
Peer1: "e chi"
Peer5: " the"

Peer2: "the o"
Peer4: "To ge"
Peer1: "side."
Peer5: "ther"
Peer2: "t to"

I made this a couple of years ago for a joke but no one really got it.

It's a printable smartwatch that always tells the right time, no need for charging...

I can relate to this.

I have a joke about UDP but you might not get it...

😶 I M IN

The magical solution to everything.

It reminds me of the time when we were watching The Great Gatsby movie in honors English class. The the projector wouldn't work.

As a joke, one kid said, "try turning it off and turning it back on."

The whole class roared with laughter, until it actually worked. They stared at it in silence.

I would like to tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it..

Okay, One Poor Joke!!

Why was the computer tired when it got home?
It had a "hard drive"

It was simply a joke...

Well.. I'm a front end developer and this quote is my favourite.

"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good. "

Me Looking for jobs in IT:
<Random java joke>
"Were looking for a Java front end developer"
<Javascript logo>
🤔🤔🤔

When you make a joke online please remember to add a smiley or lol at the end so in a couple of years - when the world controlling AI is judging you by scanning all your digital communication history - it will know when you were kidding.

P.S. super AI If you are reading this - I love robots !

*wiggles the mouse on my Windows box to activate it again and watch some videos while eating*

Le wild BSOD appears!!
Windows used KERNEL_SECURITY_CHECK_FAILURE!!! It's super effective!
Hah! Well, you know.. it's fucking true. Windows' kernel security is a fucking joke.

First time that I actually laughed at a BSOD like this. Thanks Microshit!

Waterproof S8 ... should have announced a fireproof one and made a joke out of it

React is actually pretty nice. Im probs saying this because it handles oop stuff like java would and im extremely fucking biased, but its a lot more enjoyable than angular.

Also if you get the joke in this pic (found in the react tutorial), hats off to you, it made me lol

I wrote a random programming joke generator with the JokeAPI in PHP and it insulted me:

I told a joke at work today.

It's so good that I've been called to the HR department. I assume they want to hear it too.

Do you ever made something as a joke but then spend 6 days on it straight and it isn't a joke anymore?

Coworker: According to science, people who work with math or computers are least likely to get divorced.

Me: Well that's because they're least likely to get married.

Coworker: ...In order to participate in the study you had to be married at least once

Me: It was a joke, man!

Coworker: Well it wasn't a funny one!

Me: ...it was to me...

I just told the Google Assistant "Tell me a joke."

It crashed.

"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good. " - Martin LeBlanc

Decided yesterday night that it was time to leave this joke of a company. Updated my CV, changed my pic on my CV and posted the CV on Monster.

15 phone calls, 4 emails, 3 adds on LinkedIn, 3 planned interviews and this is just the morning.

There are 10 types of people in the world:
-Those who understand binary
-Those who don't
-Those who didn't expect a joke in trinary
-Those who keep it going with quaternary
-Those who cohort with quinary
-Those who use senary instead
-Those who think septenary is lucky
-Those who think octonary is prosperous
-And the Windows Naming Committee

See, 10.

"no problem, let me fix it real quick" - shortest dev joke ever

I POSTed a joke, I wonder why anyone didn't GET it! 🙄🤔

I always grew up with the "programmers are wizards" idea in mind. Of course, I understood it was just a joke. But on my first day in university I went to my first CS class... And my professor looked exactly like a wizard.

CEO calls the Android team in for a congratulatory speech. Likens us to tower builders in the age of cellular tech, building the infrastructure of something great. Then finishes his talk with “and when they were finished, they fired all the tower builders”

I think he was trying to joke, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

I was working on an Arduino counter (an inside joke) and I somehow sent 12V to an IC I was using.

🔥🎆🌬💨
it burned out.

I'll leave now

Today I quit my job lol.

In my two previous stories I told you guys about a job offering I got, and after a few more incidents in my old job, I decided I take it.

No, this is not an april fools joke, though it felt quite bad to tell my team lead that I quit on april fools day.

Due to notice period I'll begin my new work at first of july this year, can't wait <3

This morning my girlfriend told me about the network at her school constantly disconnecting, to which I jokingly replied "So, it doesn't deserve candy". She came back with "But it's already asking for so many cookies"...

Does this need to be explained as to why it is in the Joke/Meme category?

I just realized...

Next step... 10k... or whatever it takes to get a unicorn 🤗🤗🤔🤔😙😙

...so now this can go 2 ways 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

-Get upvoted so I get to 10k
-Get downvoted so I'm back under 9000

Or we just all take this as a joke 😀😀😀

One day Linus Torvalds will make a statement about git like: "Why is everybody using this? It was just a joke!"

When you make a tech-ish joke and you have to explain it because your coworkers aren't that tech-ish.

Another crappy job advertisement this time courtesy of Glassdoor: get spammed to death by job ads.

So it says graduate software engineer but they want someone with ideally 1 -3 years of B2 experience, seriously how is this fair?

Like with my other job ad rants:

What a fucking joke, lol

- Hey I have to add new field, but this class is autogenerated, I do not know what tool generates it"
- Your fingers
- But this class has over 20k lines of codes and the header says it is autogenerated.
- It is a inside joke, it was generated by hand

Inherited project from another company that the owner wants updated rather than rebuilt.

The comments could write a programmers joke book as you can tell it's been passed between multiple developers.

This is a literal excerpt
//Not sure why this line needs to be here but it breaks without it
//Nope I don't know either
//FFS now I have to deal with this. Thanks guys :/

I have an HTTP joke, if I POST it, you cannot GET it

I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.😎

I'd tell you a UDP joke but you might not get it.

This is what my roommate got handed to him at a lecture. Completely written in Comic Sans, everything is in fucking comic sans and it is not a joke! 🤣

At first I got excited about the new MacBook Air specs. Then I saw the price... It's a fucking joke to spend so much money for this trash ass hardware you get for it. I mean 1400€ for dual core 8gb ram 128gb ssd?!?!?!

Fuck you

Bezelless displays are a joke. Even the regular displays like this one from my laptop don't need nearly as much bezel as they're usually given.

The black indent at the top of the picture is hiding the display controller, which can easily be moved to the back. The rest of it.. a little bit of internal frame to keep the LCD intact during impacts on the outer case but that's about it.

Just a idea for some joke you can do to your co-workers credit go to 9gag as I found it there

Coffee machine isn't working.

Well were developers it's a hardware issue.

Let's call IT

Windows servers are a joke. A bad joke.

I feel sorry for people who have to work on them and have that as their profession you never used Linux

If someone came up to me and said we should use a windows server for this I'd laugh in his face and fire him. Seriously. I would.

That's how much I hate them. Got it? Ok good ... I'm calm now 😎

I would write a joke about Windows, but ironically you won't see through it.

Multiple things.

- Music. Especially the most destructive/brutal/aggressive rawstyle tracks. Currently Nolz ft Killshot - Rauwdouwer gives me a mega boost.
Also the Rawstyle Nation YouTube channel is one of my favourite places.

- reminding myself how far I've gotten and how much I actually known already.

- Alcohol. Yeah kinda a joke but damn can it put aside my doubts!

I’d tell you a UDP joke, but I fear you wouldn’t get it.

Y'all need to chill!

**DO NOT** downvote a newbie's post without telling them why. It may sound like a spam to you, but it's someone's best effort at an icebreaker joke. 😠

A social network for diabetic people.
I was the one who came up with the idea tbh
(It was a joke) Dia-buddies
(Hi Esben lol)

I know a joke about UDP, but I'm not sure if will get it...

Richard Stallman.

Software must be free in order to empower it's users. GNU/Linux wouldn't exist without this person, and open-source would be a tired and sad joke if it wasn't for free software.

Super stressed.
What I did is:
1. git pull --rebase
2. Forgot to build to check if everything is working after pulling new changes
3. git push
4. Now, I realized I forgot to implement a method of the recently changed interface.
It's a production code. Not a joke. And was my first push to prod and I messed it up.
Sad life. Fixing it. Senior Devs must be crazy for my silly mistake.

[ Meanwhile in python ] I thought it was just a joke , and now i take it seriously '😂😂😂!

(Old one)

Another gem during my studies: Senior professor in early class. Suddenly a phone is ringing. After a while he pulls out a huge inflatable phone and yells:"I can't talk right now I am in class. Bye.". Then he steps towards the board writes down "stupid joke" ticks it and says in a dead serious voice:"That's done".

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, its not that good.

Caps Lock preventing login since 1980.

A joke is like a user interface: no matter how idiot-proof, somebody will always not get it.

I'm not the owner of the image, got it in some joke group.

Telling a UDP joke to someone who doesn't work in the Information Technology industry won't go over very well...because they probably don't get IT.

And I thought they had removed all of the joke questions from SO! I haven't seen this one, maybe it was lost to time.

(Joke || Rant)

This guy came with this joke.
Ok, funny.
Then months later you realise he pushed this tweaked prototype to master, and now this code is shipped in production and it actually prints some idiotic sentence about flat earth on console output.
Ok, idiot.

It's not my project, but sometimes I'm wondering what people have in their minds when using version control and ship crap...

It has to be a joke...

Alright, I know people joke about this but I just spent 4 hours debugging a 50 line chunk of code, and the first time it worked without errors it scared me🙃

Apple 4k Tv is a joke 😂
& for the price you get a xbox one s which supports 4k too + you can play games on it

I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

://///

Byron (reckful) has committed suicide. He was one of the first big streamers on Twitch and a game developer.

He was suffering from depression and has been for quite some time. He always appears happy around friends. He did "joke" about committing suicide on his last stream. Watching the clip makes it obvious that there was some truth to the "joke".

Also, remember that you never know what someone online is suffering from or how that person may interpret a joke. Be careful and think about how your message is received.

Please seek help if you have suicidal thoughts or even signs of depression. It's not a sign of weakness. We all need help sometimes.

LMAO. Had a tough day and finally heading home with most likely the last bus for today.

But his comment made my day. 😆

// I genuinely found it so funny hence shared in joke 😬

This is from the 70s. It can easily be updated to the present day, but it has a certain charm just the way it is:

Three women sat discussing their husbands and their sex lives.

"My husband's a wrestler," said the first. "He's really strong and aggressive in bed."

"My husband's an artist," said the second. "He's really gentle and sensitive."

"My husband's an IBM salesman," said the third. "He sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be when I finally get it."

Recently bought some programmer T-shirts
made me popular, now I am known as the guy with the cool shirts.one of them has this on it:
2b || !2b ? "2b" : "!2b"

my fav joke now

I use these shirts to make friends and it actually works, you should also try ;)

When your code is brilliantly modular and class based, but no one gets your joke about it being super classy...

This is just straight up a joke. Head of data science has had us implementing something based on a paper.

I raised some "concerns" about it a while ago. Found out today they'd not even read the paper. We're pretty sure what we've been asked to work on doesn't solve the problem it's meant to solve...

Had a conference call and one of the guys said something along the lines of "I can handle the load (ticket load)" didn't even thought about it my mouth instinctively reacted with "that's what she said".

A couple of guys laughed but the other few just "wooooow"ed like if I had thrown a 9/11 joke.

This is not a rant perse, just a reminder that if I ever launch my own startup I shall look to hire "joke sensitive" people to make my scrum meetings as awkward as possible.

Challenges sister to a typing contest.
Finishes his turn and switches the keyboard to Dvorak.
Sister types every word wrong except a and h.
Laughs hilariously.
*Sister throws the keyboard at the wall*
Totally worth it.

A User Interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it then its not that good :).

Some office incident reminded me of this old joke,
Boss: Why is the website (platform) offline?
IT Guy: There is a problem with MySQL.
Boss: Oh, then you could change to OurSQL or YourSQL.
This always cracks me up, 😂😂😂

since DDLC is a top known meme I made a nerdy joke about it

I will tell you a UDP joke but you might not get it xD

i got my account perma-locked on twitter over a joke the other day and the only presented option was to delete my account. Apparently you talk about cool shit all day and 2 people see it, but you make a joke about a bad neighborhood and 700 people flag literally every tweet and reply you've ever made.

You know that USB joke... well you see this cable fits both ways... Sort of except one doesn't work and will if you force it I guess u could break the input

I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

just can't read 'IE is the browser to download other browsers' anymore.. how many times will it be posted? the joke is more than 5years old

What a joke PayPal's so called testing environment is!

Last time I tried to use it, PayPal told me not to try because it doesn't work.

didn't anyone go for the "#define true false" joke? i didn't actually see it in action, but it would be a pretty harsh one.

I've got a really good UDP joke to tell you, but I don't know if you'll get it

I've got a really good UDP joke, but I don't know if you will get it...

Hate it when I see the same Programming Meme/Joke on 10 Different accounts 50 times. *fuckResposts(), even though I do them a lot...

Amazing! My joke functionality worked and the server delivered it's content successfully to the client. The joke: malloc is wrapped to give that message and retry IMMEDIATELY. Expectation is that the computer that was already in panic mode gets even fucked up more because it's out of memory. My malloc is literally while((ptr=malloc()} == NULL) { show_warning()
;malloc();}. Imagine if it didn't give that warning, I would've never known that a malloc failed. Who checks their freaking malloc result? You should, but i do not see much people doing it.

The previous crash on screen is what happens if you're doing a get instead of a post. I just declare my server app indestructible btw. Ffs!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

Who doesn't want to know the weather in the good ol' Middle of Nowhere?
Wondering whether or not it is a joke by the devs :D

A designer/developer got offended of a joke about "designers". The React team removed it.

It really becomes a joke when you can't sleep due to unstoppable amount of pooping.

My country's "track" and trace system.

... A fucking joke, especially when you consider the fact it uses Excel as the FUCKING Database!

turn off and on always saving us (or not)
series: doctor who && it crowd

I just found out there's a 418 HTTP status code that stands for "I'm a teapot", specified by RFC2324 which "describes HTCPCP, a protocol for controlling, monitoring, and diagnosing coffee pots". I know it's an april fools joke but I still find it hilarious that there is an RFC for that.

I hate that "integer overflows" have become somewhat pop culture because anytime I see someone try to use it in a joke, they use it wrong.

I've even seen people confuse them with stack overflows and be like "my intelligence is so low it stack underflowed and became the max of an integer value!"

Or "It overflowed and became zero again" ah, I guess it happened to be unsigned and overflowed by precisely 1 then eh?

So cringe

Four beers with an expiry date of 2022. What do you do? Easy, drink three so you don't care about the expiry date of the fourth and enjoy.

Didn't tag it as joke because it's seriously what I just did

Not a rant!

Reaction when a person responds your joke with " I will go home, figure it out, laugh and will text you!!!!"

#priceless :/

Is it just me or did last night's apple keynote actually feel like a late April's fool joke?

Fun game: find a random tech meme/joke and search it in google with "site:devrant.com". If you find it - you drink

God I fucking hate Javascript.
- unknown operator
- type coercion
- sorting always works alphabetically (lmao)
- literally started as a joke

why can't it be normal and predictable, or at least mildly comfortable to use?

A UI its like a joke, if you have to explain it, its not good. =) =)

Maybe time to implement a dupe-check making it impossible to post the same joke/meme more than x times in a 3 month period? Sorry guys but some jokes are just getting very repetitive..

UDP joke, I don't care if you get it.

[insert joke about the irony of it all here]
Seen on the Phonegap website.

Girlfriend: I don't get why you love me...
Me: Maybe I should write a Setter method to make it clear.

She didn't understand that joke ._.

So I was playing with deauthing because I was curious about to and I got this little deauthing tool and I no joke fucked up my whole network for hours.

In my house we recently had tplink smart light switches installed and that created 40 more iot devices on the network. Soooo I disconnected them all at once and also cloned my AP so they went into this limbo state where they could not connect to anything and also for some reason Ethernet stopped working I think my isp thought I was getting a DOS attack or something idk but no joke took me hours to fix it.

devRant needs some sort of Offspring-of-Clippy tool.

"It looks like you're posting a sort-of-humorous-the-first-time joke or meme. Have you bothered to scroll more than twice to see if this dead horse has, indeed, been well flogged?" 😜

Watching IT crowd AGAIN after seeing a joke my brother didn't understand. Lol. (A fire? At a sea parks?)

It is a meme but it's not a joke. So sick of this shit

Literally my project. It ain’t even a joke/meme, it’s a straight up rant.

So my colleague sees an iPad on a desk that someone has left by accident. He puts in the wrong password a bunch of times to lock it for an hour as a joke and accidentally wipes it!! Turns out it was about to be used for end of sprint client demo 😂

I was a foreign language student, but i didn't like the way my work-life was going (I had a lot of difficulties tryng to find a job).

So I decided to start programming... It appears i'm still studying "languages".

Is my life a joke?

Of the rants that have tags, it seems like half of them contain some sort of non-tag that is dry wit, self-aware joke, or humorous comment.

If you type "Google" into Google, you can break the Internet.

So please, no one try it, even for a joke.

When your the IT guy and you computer is broken

hey, can i please speak to myself?

I think my laptop is living and hates me... I press shutdown (Yes the actual windows shutdown and not long-press power button) I close my Laptop, expecting it to shutdown, right? Nope... It goes to sleep mode and next time I open it up, it continues to shutdown... It's like it doesn't want to shutdown and is playing a joke on me.....

Bit of a joke, bit of an actual question. But who here, if you had the money to do it, would buy an offshore oil rig to repurpose and rebuild into a nation of their own? (i.e. MGSV)

Start my new job on April 1st (yes I know, I show up and get sacked on the spot as an April fools joke) and I'm hoping they are accommodating when it comes to operating systems but deep down I can already hear the windows xp boot sound .-.

I like systemd, yes it is a joke.

!rant. I'd tell you a joke about UDP but you probably won't get it and I couldn't care less.

"I hate this in javascript, because I never know what it is referring to."

Read this joke here some months ago. Today i learned why it's so funny

I thought the “works on my machine” from sysadmins is mostly a joke...

But no. I’m attending the Polish high school and I have a lessons via the Internet. I wasn’t able to hear the voice of the teacher on Linux 4.18 and Chromium browser, so I sent the mail to support to report it. Of course it “works on their machines”...

Windows got upgraded to creators update.

Ever since it has updated, the battery life has decreased drastically, laptop used to last around 8.5 hours of daily usage, now its down to 3.

WTF, man.

I know surface has got its pro's, but shit, 5 hours of battery loss is no joke and certainly a big task to achieve.

past time: Making jokes on programmer humor forums about the jokes being told on the humor forum.

fall out: Autists who don't get the joke of the joke and genuinely think they need to explain the original joke even though it is "obvious" it was a play on words.

struggle: Resisting explaining to them the joke on the joke. And if I break down and explain, trying not to be a condescending prick. Most of the time I don't respond.

DevRant has increased my asshole-ery. Reading work design docs and I keep thinking, "really? That's your choice? Obviously this is a joke. You expect us to do what?? In what timeframe?"

i transferred money to my US account and it "arrived" tuesday

however, due to the absolute JOKE of the US banking system, its now FRIDAY, and THE MONEY STILL ISNT CREDITED TO MY ACCOUNT

i saw once on a video a guy was basically explaining "transfers" in US banks essentially actually just movements of text files on FTP servers somewhere? Is this really true?

Bragging about knowing how to hack the company's emails definitely gets you into trouble. And then coming out clean and saying it was all a bluff still gets you into trouble. Hacking jokes in the office is same as a bomb joke in public(crowded) places.

I hate this joke. It makes zero sense; not something I'd expect to see all over an app for devs!

A factory creates something, if I already have a problem, why would I need a factory to create more?

If the christian god exists, then I'll go to hell because of my sexual orientation. Little do they know, as I wake up there, I'll make two steps back to pick up a chainsaw. It's there and I know it.

Dear god, watch out. Your days are numbered. I'll make Nietzsche "god is dead" stuff look like a fucking joke.

I'm coming for you.

We are currently learning SQL with MSAccess (it's much too easy haha) at school... our teacher doesnt even know how to set primary key, so he asked us and we all knew it already😂

To understand that joke: we are 14-15 years old

Cooking.

Murderous cooking.

Anger management cooking.

Joke aside, I mostly have no clue what I'm doing.

Cooking and gardening (sadly no longer a possibility) are two thing where my brain goes out and I just do it.

It has happened more than once that this has failed... But most of the time it goes surprisingly well.

I'm absolutely not an accurate or refined cook.

I hate cutting stuff "even sized"… I hate when it looks perfect. I hate swiping off drops of the plate so it looks more refined....

So yeah, it might look like puke. But it's tasty. XD

The moment when u write a sarcastic joke (comment/rant), but you do not actually post it, fearing --s from super serious people.

"New facebook dating service! It's absolutely free! Just sign this user agreement and durable power of attorney. We promise we won't rape you with it later. "
It's a joke now, but probably not for much longer.

An app to find port-a-potties (or port-a-potty’s?) near you... more of a joke tbh but I did consider it for a second.

lol my life is a joke
E: I've found it in css of a project I work on after some well paid consultant. And no, it was not temporary.

Anyone here tried the bluewhale game?

Apparently, government banned it and local tv channel is running news about it ( around 2 months after it became viral globally ). Many overnight "experts" think it is an actual mobile application game uploaded on all stores. What a joke!

I don't understand how anyone can be stupid enough to fall for such things..

Told my scrum master that I got a new job today..

Forgot to tell her that it was a joke 😬

I never thought big about Whitespaces until Hacktoberfest came by.
Fed up with the amount of PR and notifications I am getting on my repo . Most of the time they create a PR to create a Whitespace and then delete it . Now I have put up a Repository to at least add some joke instead of those Whitespaces

Not sure whether to tag this as a rant or a joke, because it feels like equal parts of both. So fucking disappointed with Australian government.

Do you guys remember the fun little joke utility called fuck that corrected typos?

While debugging an absurd 2s shell load time, I noticed today that the command it appends to .bashrc to _set a fucking alias_ takes almost 400ms to execute.

The only thing we can do is make a joke about the other bots that are not always in their own mind or if it's just an issue for them and then the other one ☝️ and then you don't get them in your mail to the right place for a long list of all that people you know you are not so far out and it's a joke that is why you haven't even paid for it and it's a lot easier for them but it's just like 👍 is not just the way of things like 👍 is the one ☝️ you don't have it on it but you can't even get the word for that one ☝️ or something that's what it looks it up 🆙 is it a lot better then it's not the one ☝️ thing that you don't have it on it or so you know it looks bad it's a joke it's a bad joke and you can't find a way you don't have a lot to me but I don't know 🤷‍♂️ or you want me to be like 👍 but you do not have any more than me I don't know 🤷‍♂️ but that's what I'm talking you know that I'm going through the whole time I'm going through the wrong 😑 thing I've been to you to see if this one ☝️ or I just want you to do something like 👍

Can somebody explain this joke? I don't get it.

I'm not sure if this should be a joke or random, but the SBB train info screen in St. Gallen on platform 5 just decided to interpret the data given a bit differently than intended.

It is not broken and no other screen has that problem. What could it be, I wonder. But I don't care enouht to post it as a question.

I guess random would have been more appropriate.

"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good. " - Martin LeBlanc

Idea: postpone risky decisions to the 1st of April and say it was a joke if people don't like it.

~~Or keep them to troll people even harder~~

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it then it is not that good.

R.I.P John Doe

He made the mistake of writing unmaintainable code then leaving the team.
I just heard of his passing.
He was brutally beaten to death by the new maintainer. Now the maintainer is behind bars.
And now I've been asked to maintain it.

R.I.P Me as well I guess

Joke of course.

I've got a great UDP joke, but I'm afraid you wouldn't get it...

Ok so today in class a friend asks me "Can you teach me hacking? I'll give you 20 dollars"
I tell him
1. I don't have interests in hacking neither do i have any experience with hacking
2. He is the type of guy to not pay me
3. He can just search it up

He also asked me a couple of weeks ago to do do the homework/assessment task for him for $20 as-well
I think he only thought i knew how to hack is because for a joke i made a bash cli thingo that changes the colours to black and green and he saw it while i was using it as a joke showing another friend

I have a joke on 'HTTP' but you will never 'GET' it.

Maybe this is naive, but I feel if an application/feature is strategically important to a company, at least two developers should always be assigned to support it routinely. This great resignation is no joke, and I’m getting tired of being the last man standing here. I’m too old for this shit.

to add a bit of fancyness i print the scripts name and 'by' my 'artists name' whenever scripts are executed. today i got a call 'it says error on line 1, what did i do wrong?' i am still laughing tears. did not consider this programmers joke to have an impact irl.

Windows 10 is just a bad joke at this point. First it doesn't show any text in the menus, now it fucks up all the drivers. I really need to scrap it and install literally ANY other os in order to improove my experience but I keep telling myself that it doesn't really make sense until I have a new harddrive and I keep wondering if the Evo850 is worth it. Fuck the saturday night struggle.

Daily stand-ups might seem like a joke when done remotely, but I believe they help unite the team, and they play a key role for project managers, even if they're brief. The bigger issue might be just some of the dev's attitude towards it, and the lack of communication through out the project development.

Microsoft Teams 👎

Luckily most of our company uses Zoom, which is great UX-wise. But MS Teams... What a joke!

I've even been on a call with MS engineers for some Office integration support. Of course, they scheduled a Teams meeting. It was embarrassing how bad the quality and connections were. But likely they simply don't know any better...

OK so I have this joke its not fine tuned yet but I'm gonna try it anyway, tell me what you think:

If I ever buy a sex robot I would get 2, male and female, that way I can turn them on before I leave for work in the morning and by the time I get home they would both be exponentially better.

There are 10 kind of people:
-those who will not get this at all
-those who expected 10 to be in base 10
-those who are used to the joke with 10 in base 2
-those who will think 10 is in base 6
-those who will add kinds of people and say that my interpretation of "10" was wrong (a subset of those will make the second group be rigth)
-those who will help me to find a way to recursively break this joke (pls, help, i can't find it... 😭😭)

Just had a web dev newbie crack a MEAN pun and tell me "Learning it is so MEAN lol". Should i tell him he's only about the 1230193848 x 10^6th person to crack that joke?