how do you migrate to production so fast?

Client :- The app is slow on my device, please fix.
Developer :- Working fine on all the devices I tested, are you sure?
Client :- Yes, it's very slow. I can't accept this app.
Developer :- (Recompiles the same codebase again) Here, try this, optimized a lot of calls, took me entire day to do so.
Client :- Yes, it is working fast now
Developer :- (evil laughs)

That moment after you do a fresh install of an OS and think "Wow everything is so fast and so much space"

Me : it's my new android app, this app lets you store daily routines and is very fast.
Dad : where's the money?
Friends : so now you will get a job at Google 😱
Girlfriend : install this on my iPhone
Mom : You are genius. Now get the groceries I asked you for.

We have new scrum master. First meeting together.

Project owner:
- I would give them time to wensday (2 days away) days to do migration
Manager:
- delivery is in Tuesday. can we have two teams to work on it so it will be done twice as fast?
Scrum Master:
- do you really think that if you get 9 women pregnant they would deliver you baby in a month?

It went so fast..

Found a security hole....

A fast food delivery service had an ID for every order it Said
"example.com/order/9237" - i go 9236... finds another persons order, address, and phone number

So What should i do?

i thought of making a crawler and then make statistics on everyones orders and send Them a link 😂

Wife has started to do programming jokes, she is learning so fast

Python is so ridiculously easy and fast to write, I'm just waiting for the release where you just say:

def main():
make_program("RegExParser", "fast", "fancy")

And that's it...

The day i found out how GitHub and Git actually work and how easy it is to manage versions rather than having a zip archive in Dropbox. I grew up so fast...T_T

Made a app in react native when it was on .42 version.
By the time I finished developing it, react native was on .54 version with many components had deprecated.

Ffffffffffuuuuuuuuckkkkkk!!!!!!!!

Facebook why you make changes so fast.

*Crying in corner*

My company needs a new Website.

ME: Boss, let me do it. It's just a simple static site with a few pages. **Dreaming about a fast and beautiful site**

BOSS: Your time is too valuable. Nobody is paying us for our website. The apprentice will do it.

Few weeks later... Wordpress page! Page loads in > 20sec. Over 150 request for css and js... It's fast on Mobile, because it just breaks and loads only half of the content.

So ashamed working in this Company. No sane customer will ever do business with us, when he sees this stackpile of shit.

I love python, its the language I never really struggled a lot with yet also progressing so fast with it as a programmer!

My first machine with a primary partition on SSD and it restarts so fast I had a nerd-gasm!

SSD all the things!!!

Ranting time;

Yeah so OK this ancient legacy clusterfuck we've been maintaining and keeping alive finally broke. And even though I'm very pleased with both being right, and the well deserved right to say I TOLD YOU SO, SO MANY MANY FUCKING TIMES to all in management, it's the definition of hate to work 18 hours a day to fix the shit someone else built, that they refused us to refactor. Ah, but wait; there's more! Everyone thinks it's our fault (R&D), because historically it was our department that built the system. Ten years ago. So sales and support are now all over us, those responsible for us being in this mess are either gone or so high up in management that they refuse to take part.

Taking the fall and blame and workload, for something we warned repeatedly about, but were refused to do something with, because shiny features and new apps is what is important!

I'd understand it if the numbers were red, but they arent!! We are growing so fast it was inevitable!

I fucking hate companies who dont listen to their devs..... also companies who places ops on dev shoulders.

Yaaaargh! Also; two developers means twice as fast? No? Fuuuuuck!!!

"my app is so fast .....because it has nothing to load"

Finally, fucking finally, after twenty fucking trillion tries, a huge ass import is going steady and fast.

I'm literally, out loud, encouraging the import process 😅

"Yesyesyes keeeep it going!"
"You can do this!!"
"You're doing very well!"

I feel like a fucking retard but I'm so happy its finally starting to work 😅

I currently have the best problem ever:

Our client applications and APIs are so fast, users are complaining they don't notice that the UI changed in between the time they clicked a button and their eye drifts to the adjacent component. So now we're having to build visual cues to account for that.

#KillingIt

so i guess ill use my code.org teacher for this:

"credit card information is encrypted with the public keys"

"lists and arrays are the same thing"

"javascript is a powerful, fast, programming language" (bhahahaha)

"javascript is [only] used in web browsers"

"java and javascript are *extremely similar* but not the same"

Long ago I worked for a contractor company who took over an asp.net site from another contractor company. The client said that everything ran slow and he had already updated the hardware per the 1st contractor. We checked the db calls and things ran fine; so I said "search the solution for "sleep"", it came back with Thread.Sleep(1) in several places with comments saying it was to allow the AJAX Spinner to show on the pages.
Turns out the client asked for the spinner but the hardware was so fast the 1st contractors added sleep so the client would see the spinner.

Am I the only one who hates it that everything needs to be done in JavaScript nowadays?
Why can't you just start writing native software again? Why does every program need its own fucking browser engine and at least 200MB of RAM to do nothing but show and edit text?
I want to have fast and streamlined software again and use my resources for important things. So much software that is called fast or lightweight isn't either. It's just a little less heavy and slow than the software it tries to replace.
I don't use C all the time, but maybe looking into Qt instead of electron might be a start.
I had a project where I could convince my tutors to let me use C++ instead of JS and they were surprised how fast my application started even though it only consisted only of a empty window with a status bar. How far have we come that we even need to think about performance when opening an empty window on modern hardware?

A website just emailed me my forgotten password in PLAINTEXT.

I'm out of breath from running for the hills so fast.

Teacher:"We're gonna write client side javascript, todays javascript is fast enough"
Me: "ok, cool, are we gonna use ECMA6 or Harmony?"
Teacher: "we need to keep it supportable for all platforms, so we are gonna use ECMA4"
Me:( internal screaming )

Started this machine for the first time after 18 years!!

IBM R51 (32 bit single core Pentium M), 1gb RAM, 40gb old mechanical hdd.

Installed Ubuntu 12 (32 bit from old iso) , installed some educational software to teach mouse n keyboard (my daughter is good in touchscreen on ipad), she is getting hang of mouse so quick, amazed how fast kids learn, wish I could be so fast too.

PM: We really need to solve this problem fast...

Me: So you want me to solve the element width or to reimplement the template?

PM: Yes! (and leaves before I can say anything)

Me: *poker face*

So my wife started learning coding and web development. I am quite impressed how fast someone can learn it (she started from scratch, with No knowledge before)

Monday : SSD dies
Thursday : HDD dies, so I take one out of the laptop to have a working pc
Today : Said HDD dies

Due to lack of hardware components for my pc to kill off, my current setup consists of 1 usb for live system and two more to act as storage

Next paycheck can't come fast enough

3 weeks ago, at 33, I jumped ship from a dead end career as a technician and landed my first programming job at a startup. The pay is lower for now and I'm constantly feeling burnt out from learning so much so fast, but I haven't been this happy in years. Seeing light at the end of the tunnel can do wonders for your mental health.

Fuck you and you and everyone!!
It's midnight and I'm in a village on the top of a FUCKIN MOUNTAIN!!!
Wind is so fast that it's literally blowing whistles while passing by my ears.
And it's fukin cold as fuck.

> Hey dude, are you coding on the top of a mountain??
> HELL YEAH!!!

I really love to share my knowledge and I have a opportunity to teach kids coding as a lector. I even switched my f-ing theme to light for them so they can see the board (they're already saying light theme sucks, I love them). Maybe it's only html/css but they're learning so fast even though they're just bunch of 12-13yo Minecraft kids 😂 I'm myself only 17 but I can see the "age gap" between us, I'm getting old...

if you are tired, so fucking tired you are not fast enough to double tap a rant.
tap.... *rant opens* fuck! back..
tap... tap *rant opens* *rant opens* what the... back back
tap..tap oh cmon! Not again! back back
tap..tap *++ turns red*
Whohooo im a fucking genius!

This hurt me so deep. Feel hopeless. He want it fast , 2 Apps for iOS and Android ( that means 2 for Android and 2 for iOS) in this short time with overly complex requirements (as in the documents).

Omg. ...

Google: You need a fast website to rank well.
Me: Ok, so why does your Google Analytics, Google Tag Manager, and Google Optimize code drag my site down to the seventh circle of Hell in performance?
Google: You need a fast website to rank well.
Me: ...

FUCK WEB DEVELOPMENT.

Seriously, what the hell. Things evolve so goddamn fast and someone new to the field can’t even grab something to start with. Once you start understanding something it fuckin changes and something else takes it’s place.

Fuck this shit, I’m out.

Favorite co-worker conversations:

Guy 1: PHP can be plenty fast! Just put in APC, Memcached, and Varnish and you can handle just about any load.

Guy 2: So you're saying PHP is fast when it doesn't run.

When you start typing localhost but you are to fast and to furious for the browsers autocomplete and end up searching in google for this...

So far no one has notice but it is only a matter of time before I will be questioned about my Shakira obsession...

Not so fast .DS_Store😏

Company: We have a fast paced and exciting environment!

Translation: Management doesn’t plan at all and changes their mind constantly so everything is done in a rushed last minute fashion. The excitement stems from a constant need to look over your shoulder in anticipation of the knife in your back after you are blamed for some issue inevitably arising out of the panicked fashion in which the business constantly operates.

Devrant::Mathematicians, unite!

I found a new way to calculate running average.

Old:
a(o, n, i) = (o(i - 1) + n) / i

New:
a(o, n, i) = o + (n - o) / i

a: New average function
o: Old average
n: Element to add to average
i: New number of elements

"We are expecting you to start working asap..and complete the frontend (of a webapp that's​ expected to take 2 months to develop) in 2 weeks "

" So do I expect to get paid X amount for this ?"

" Let's make that X/2"

Fuck off you dipshits.. You expect quality work and fast work ..then get ready to pay at least by market standards.

> TeamLeader1: I just discovered SQL is actually super fast! The low responsiveness I've experienced comes from our ORM!
> IHateForALiving: well of course SQL is blazingly fast. SQL has been refined by the best engineers in the world for the past 50 years, its performances are unparalleled for everything you could possibly need, unless you want to scale REALLY big. Sequelize, instead, is an Active Record ORM, so it's bound to struggle with huge amount of data, because every single row will get attached a significant amount of black magic to make sure everything syncs correctly. Why is that?
> TeamLeader1: I have a problem with this frontend component, it doesn't allow pagination. I tried downloading the whole DB to bypass that, but the ORM is slow... so I will bypass the ORM and download the whole table with a raw query. Look at that! It works like a charm, it's super duper fast!'

This mf is downloading some 35 thousand rows every time some user loads a page because he doesn't know how to paginate the fucking table with Angular, there's no way these people are real.

I wouldn't say least successful but my current one has an extremely irritating annoyance.

I have to setup a tile server (for those draggable maps in browsers and such) and I've come to the point where I'm skilled enough to at least setup the server. BUT:

- Generating the tiles from a database to PNG pbf files at a max 15 zoom level of only even the goddamn nerherlands will take more than a hundred days and I want the entire goddamn world. (20 core rather powerful server).
The end result is veeery fast.
- The importing is fast enough but generating them on the fly is so painstakingly slow 😫

😖

!Rant

I am in love. Her name is Valerie.
I can tell you 4k reasons why I love her.
She has turned my view 180degrees.
She is so cool. And so fast.
She is slim, pretty.
She is colorfull and has depth.
She also has huge ... things to look at

Man I got to buy the new Razer

Le Me: well it is the time to go back on that Android project and resume the work.

*Open Android Studio, open the project.
*Wait 10 minutes for build/index
*error: gradle outdated, that is ok, update it.
*error: some library needs update
*error: R not found
*error: internal IDE error.

*Clean Project: PC hangs, Fan go so fast..

Shit ! I even not touched the code !

GOT AN A+ FOR MY LAST PROJECT OF HIGH SCHOOL!!! SO FUCKING HAPPY!!!

(by the way, we built a search engine for this project. A pretty big and fast one too)

Waiting for the day computers are fast enough so you can use redstone to program Minecraft inside Minecraft

not so fast!

Not so fast bae..

Unexpected expo, so i made a fast project using Conway's Game of Life Cellular Automata. Turns out only me doing things like this. Comparison on comment.

I've been tasked to do website debugging.
For Internet Explorer 11.
On a Mac.
I have to use a virtual machine to get Windows on a mac just so I can test on internet explorer.
This mac is not fast.
This virtual machine is even less fast.
The internet explorer on this virtual machine on this mac is the least fast.
Even worse, this website is a pile of garbage. It's slower than my grandma.
My grandma is dead.
You can't get any slower than that, so I thought.
But then I got introduced to the result of making a wordpress site with over 300 pieces of media and 20 plugins.
If you are one of the people that's smart enough to stay away from wordpress: I assure you that it fucks your site up beyond repair.
So anyway, how was your day?

It's weird. I started a little chat with like minded foss/linux lovers and i started it with me and three other devRanters and now we are growing so fast! Weird but proud that I brought a lot of like minded people together 😊

WTF is going on in web development nowadays that makes people ask me to compile C# projects to Electron?

Let that sink. I'm being asked to compile a C# project that can run as a beautifully integrated seamless *native* and lightning fast application... to JS so it would run as a *website* in the Electron *browser*. Am I the only one seeing how much cancer that is?

So yesterday I said to my private laptop update and shutdown...

Fast forward to this morning. Hell breaks loose. Have to fix it asap! We have downtime. But fucking windows update!!!

You fucking peace of shit should have done this yesterday. And why does it have to take so long.

My potato lagged with the temperature too high error message.

So I decided to operate on it. Last operation was about 40months ago or more.

Every time I opened and reassemble something, I always ended up with extra screws (check comments). Wish they were gold 🤔

And this is probably the last operation I could perform on it. I must save fast to buy a desktop 😥

Yes, that’s an M2 drive plugged in via usb 2.0. I dunno, maybe when you just need size over anything else maybe that’s ok but wasting all that work that ssd engineers put into making m2 drives so fast just feels stupid.

Finally made the switch. Full-time Linux everywhere! I figured out that all games I play already have Linux support since some time^^
And it feels good! So fast *_*

Before shutting something down, verify that its the right one ;)

A colleague was testing some performance setting on a server and needed to restart the network driver so he disabled it and was going to enable it when the remote session died ;)

Fast 30 min trip to the datacenter to enable network card.

Wordpress does not suck. If you know how to work it.

Past period I saw so many rants on WP. My rant is that it is not 100% WP fault. Yes there are seriously structural problems in WP but that does not mean you cannot create top-notch websites.

At my work we create those top-notch WP sites. Blazing fast and manageable. Seriously we got a customer request to make the site slower because it loaded pages to fast (ea; you hardly could see you switched pages).

- We ONLY use a strict set of plugins that we think are stable, useful.
- We have everything in composer (and our own Satis) for plugins.
- We use custom themes & classes. Our code is MVC with Twig.
- In our track history we have 0 hacked websites for the past 2 years.
- Everything runs stable 24/7
- We have OTAP (testing, acceptance & production environments)
- We patch really fast

These are sites going from $15k++ and we know our shit.

Don't hate on WP if you have no clue what you are doing yourself.

That is my rant.

If Blizzard supported Linux I would drop windows so fast...

!rant

Went to see my brother today. Before I could say hi, I saw the following:

- Desktop, Windows playing video
- Thinkpad, Linux mint, Arduino IDE
- Arduino board with some sensors
- Coffee
- Complaining about light theme

I've only thought him a bit of C# and SQL. They grow up so fast :')

(Before today, I only knew he was gonna learn Python)

I've been encountering a problem in my personal projects code weeks.
fast forward to today, and i'm sat enduring a wedding.
Out of no where the soultion hits me and I spend the next 25 minutes running round asking for napkins, so I can write the soultion on said napkins with a kids crayon.

Work. Never. Stops.

Minecrafters, come here :)

So, as I wrote before, I'm working on a custom minigame network called Silverfern, I've planned the grand opening for the 1st of February, which is my birthday. Now, the minigame base and 1 fast minigame is ready, the only real thing we have to finish is the punish system (ban/mutes) and a quick anticheat. I need to finish them before the grand opening, I hope I'll be fast and code good enough.

I've started working on it 1.5 years ago, I hope we can see on the server on February the 1st!

A friend of mine once showed me a really beautiful and fast login page he made.

After some time I took a look at the front-end code and realized why it was so fast... He queried the database in the JS code...
The user and pass for the database was in the HTML of the website...

I think he deployed that page...

After solving a lot of problems in codeforces and participating in ACM to make my code the most optimised..
* In my first real job. *
Client: Your program run so fast!! I can't feel if it's doing something or not. Please make a delay of 1 second in your program! 😇
Me: 🙂🙂🙂🙂

IE is dead ?!

NOT SO FAST.

The whole singin in Visual 2022 uses... Internet explorer renderer and... doesn't work on a Windows Server 2022 because of... "Enchanced internet explorer security policy".

I'm dying inside.

Boss, yesterday: hey, we just got you a Windows 10 machine. Test the app and make sure it works.
Me: kay. (Fast forward20 minutes) I found a hell of a bug.
Boss: what?
Me: the SA disabled scripts on the machine so I can't build.
Boss: Are you serious?
Me: yeah, and he's out until January.

Fuck it, I'll learn Rust.
The syntax looks otherworldly, but it's supposed to be nice and fast, which I currently need, so...

Welp, I dunno about the rest of you folks, but I had a splendid day making a really sexy data viewer with React, Redux, ImmutableJS, react-virtualized, and Radium. And it works fast in IE!

And! Now I'm in a pub, sipping a beer in the summer evening breeze, waiting for my partner so we can order food.

Cheers!

Legit can't remember. I've been driven by anxiety of deadlines for so long (and also, had no real vacation) that I only can work if a deadline is approaching fast.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is so true!

Too many companies in the past years have been focusing on moving rendering to the client, and not optimizing their webpages that we lost sight of making efficient and fast websites.

Why do so many companies think that frontend work can be stuffed at the end of the product development right before a release is expected.

And to top it off, expect all things to be working, smooth, animating, responsive, crisp, fast with 100 fucking lighthouse score.

🖕 To everyone who thinks frontend work is meh!, Not real programming and similar. Fuck you!

Week#1: I love Eclipse. Its so cool
Week#2: I love sublime. It's so fast
Week#3: I love atom. It's an .....

when you know the code is inefficient but they wanted it fast so you say "fuck it, I'll fix this later", but you never do...

So I’m installing all the updates to Xcode and OSX to get ready to make an app update. Get ready, restart for the OSX update, reboots about 3 times. Apple splash screen comes up... Alright that was a pretty fast one...and then FUCKING FRUIT FUCKERS

That awkward moment when your family and friends sit behind you and ask questions;

What is this you're typing on the screen?

Why words have different colors?

Why so many tabs?

How do you type so fast?

....... and more

Share yours.

Why not to use gitlab:
-Runs on ruby which is VERY VERY VERY wasteful in processing power and thus in energy
-It's hosted on azure

Why to stay with github:
-There won't be a lot of change
-It's reliable and this won't change so fast
-It's like admitting defeat towards MS who want to ruin our lives lol

Other Dev: I worked really hard over the weekend to get the issue fixed, I raised a PR but it has a zillion merge conflicts. Would you mind taking a look at it?

Me: Ok. *Changes base branch away from Master.*

Other Dev: Whoa! How’d you fix them that so fast???

Me: Experience.

I tried vim for a few weeks. I almost used to it. But I didn't see how I could be more productive with it than with Visual Studio Code, at all, so I switched back. Maybe because I'm super fast with my mouse because of my 2500 hours of Dota. But knowing how to use vim is super useful when doing remote stuff via SSH. Nano too basic.

Firefox Quantum! So fast, so great, amazing, the best.
..
..
Open with 2 tabs, Slack and YouTube homepage). Whats been rewritten exactly?

Anyone else taking Harvard's CS50 via edX? It's so awesome! You get a better understanding of Computer Science and stuff. I'm loving C! It feels so close to communicating with the machine. Memory allocation fascinates me, too. Is this why it's fast? If you feel like you're lacking with the CS fundamentals although you can build apps or websites already, I recommend this. This is better than my whole years in college!

Fucking frontenders…

So tired of your fucking hip things…

Always something new…

Always something ”innovative”

Fucking MB and MB and MB of images…

Make it fast you imbecils! It’s 2023!

Helping a friend who's a brilliant at mechanics and has his own patents, and got this question when downloading on his 10Mbit line:
"This was supposed to be a fast computer, so why is it taking so long to download?"

To explain the reason was surprisingly hard, considering that this is a guy who's been invited to give a lecture about innovation at a top tech university.

!rant I pity anyone who may have overheard my interaction with a gecko that managed to sneak inside my house when I went to get a package on my doorstep last night around midnight

“Hey little guy, let’s try to get you to go back outside, okay? Nonononooo not that way, fella. Down the wall. DOWN. DO NOT CLIMB BACK UP. Okay. Yeah, see, there you go. Good job. OH MY GOD DO NOT DO THAT. Listen, I think you’re fucking cute, okay? BUT IF YOU CHARGE AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU TRIGGER MY FEAR RESPONSE AND YOU MAKE IT REALLY HARD FOR ME NOT TO KILL YOU. Hooooooly shit, little dude. You were so almost dead. Okay. Okay, yeah, go out the door. Door. Yesssss.”

closes door, only to realize little dude’s tail is still on this side

“OMG LITTLE DUDE, are you okay?!!” opens door, little dude sneaks back inside

“Noooooo you need to go outside. Come on, you know you want to go outside”

Finally managed coax him out the door and confirmed he’d cleared the doorway before closing and locking it.

Internet Explorer why you so fast

Technology evolves so fast and I see people who know plenty of languages and thousands of things. I always try to keep up, but there are day which I don't learn anything at all and when I go to bed I think about how I'm wasting my time and my existence

Do you think I should give Atom another shot or stick with VSCode?
I've tried it several times but I always found it sluggish, slow in everything and bugged. VSCode is so much smoother and fast.

But damn Atom is so much more good looking, especially with nebula theme.

It's like choosing between the nice, decent-looking guy and the rude but definitely good looking fuckboy chad

From yesterday, I have made Firefox Developer edition my primary browser replacing chrome.

So far it's doing a great job. Its feel fast as chrome.

Some google site like docs or spreadsheet is lagging sometimes.

I still click on chrome time to time without realizing.

Let's see how far I can do with this experience.

You know what fkn sucks? I was so fkn excited to join the company. It was a dream job for me. I loved everything about it. The stack, the concept, the core values, everything.
Fast forward 3 years and I no longer recognize the company I joined. Went from customer first to revenue first. No other vision than increase sales. Heart fkn breaking...

Ok i post it a bit late but what the hell.

This is my monster now! I now shall conquer the world!

MSI GL62 7RD
with that configuration:
CPU: i5 7300HQ
RAM: 8GB DDR4
GPU: gtx1050
HDD: WB blue (small laptop one) 1TB

Ok i already had that configuration for a while... but it was sloooowwwww D:

That is why for my birthday/chrismas i bought myself additional 8GB of ram and a tiny nvme ssd to make everything 1000x faster! 😎

1 ++ for a person who reads how big the ssd is...

Public feature request: If we tap at "devRant", the feed refreshes. Can we have the same thing for rants? My shitty internet at home is fast, but choppy so when I check my notifications and it doesn't load the rant, I have pretty much no idea what that notification was about.

"Why are some features done very fast, and some very slowly?"
Well you see, I'm nothing more than a punny human. As such, there's a ton of stuff that I don't know. Even worse, human beings have this defect of rarely being 100% efficient, so my performance may vary a bit.
It may be hard to understand for a manager, as lizard people are quite a different species.

Why so many languages and frameworks. Cannot learn fast enough :'(

switched from windows 10 to kubuntu 18.10 (yes it's not arch or gentoo) last week, after the previous system crashed and burned

I had no idea, my laptop can be so fast and work almost entirely without a fan. Live is beautiful again!

I just upgraded to an SSD (finally! I know right?), and holy crap, SSDM showed up in less than 2 seconds!

Oh I've been missing out on life!

IT'S SOOO FAST!!!!

Discovering Julia:

"Wow! It is awesome! It's like a Python but fast, function composition is so useful..."

Then you realize that arrays start at 1:

"WHAT THE F! WHY?!"

Mom: How do you change my Outlook settings so fast?
Me: Years of training...

we are learning how a disk rotates in order to preserve memory on the physical computer hardware. in order for this disk to preserve memory, it has to rotate by following laws of physics as a circular sphere with sine and cosine waves on the coordinate system. these sine and cosine waves that vibrate independently and periodically, which means that the disk rotates 10,000 orbits per second. a drill rotates 2000 orbits per second. 10,000 orbits per second is fast enough to cut your hand off in less than 1 millisecond. we are learning that this disk has to rotate so fast in order to preserve the memory which was stored by the database system with sql.

on a subject called sql databases.

I got out of bed so fast because I wanted to do something on my computer. Now, I'm sitting here trying to remember what it was!

How can you fuck up your code so badly that what should be a reasonably simple desktop app is lagging on any system, no matter how fast?

My college teaches us perl now😑

Being in a college whose curriculum is 10 years old is fucking sick.

I mean really 10 fuckin years old.. Dude this is computer science field, shit changes so fast here, new languages, new standards, new frameworks and these guys don't give shit about that.

Wasting so much of my time attending these shit classes because i have to maintain 75% attendance in every subject or else i wont be allowed to write an exam.

FML

In my school, eleventh grade (so nearly "Abitur", A levels), we got the task to create a program which will be running on every computer here which should replace the Classbook (like a book where homework and lessons and stuff is written down).
Now, the class before mine already did a part of that, a program to share who is ill/not at school, with a mark whether it is excused or not.
So far so good. They all seemed not that bad when they were presenting it to us. Then, the first thing: they didn't know what git is. Well, okay I thought.
Next, there was this password field to access the program. One of them entered the password and clicked enter. That seemed suspiciously fast for an actual secure login. So fast, the password could have been in the Code...
Yesterday I copied that program and put it into a decompiler.
And... I was right.
There were the login credentials in plain text. Also, haven't thought of it but, IP address + username + password + database name were there in plain text, too.
Guess I am going to rewrite this program down to the core

That feeling of regret after you get a not-so-good grade in a class because you were too advanced in the subject matter. "I already know java I don't need to go to class *miss surprise quiz and class work*" <- me in csc 101 and 102 (retook both). Moral of the story: don't learn too fast on your own if you're in school if you get bored really easily.

Fuck college dude. My professor is a shit. I'm slow when it comes to instructions and some learning and so I don't usually get started as fast. Then after he decides to yell at me and tell me everything I'm doing is wrong he explains like I'm stupid and then fucking not even 30 seconds later asks me why im not 4 problems ahead with my paper.

So I installed Nougat yesterday on my OPO as some apps n Google seem to not like CM 13...

It runs so fast and smooth... Not sure why but kinda feels like I got a new phone 😄😄

Wonder what it'll be like if I ever get to upgrade to Oreo... 🤔🤔🤔🤔

And it seems it likes attracting cats

Macbooks are fast because of it's hardware ?

If so, I'm I'll install linux in my MacBook air (given by company).

What do you suggest ?

I just don't understand. why is it so fast to destroy the arrangement. and took it so long to clean it up

Really wish I could fast forward to working as a developer professionally... the learning process takes forever and I'm so anxious and sick of the job I'm at...

When I was 8 I discovered RPG Maker 2000 by chance... I started making little games and basically never stopped.
Fast forward a few years, I wanted to know how to do the 'real' stuff SO BAD. So I chose a CS-oriented high school, which filled in some gaps in my otherwise self-taught programming skills.
Discovering Ogre3D was the final nail in the coffin.

So I have this "Software Engineering" course of this semester.

According to course curriculum we are supposed to taught "how to develop software for some real life problem".

Fast forward to this day. For FUCKING 8 WEEKS WE ARE GONNA JUST DO DOCUMENTATION(SRS, Problem description, features description etc) AND IMPLEMENT WHOLE PROJECT IN JUST ONE WEEK.

BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING SHIT PROFESSOR....

I like coding. I am a professional coder. But I feel I am not very good at it. My colleagues are so creative and fast with their solutions. And here I am, always in awe and never seem to feel like becoming an expert in coding. The thoughts are tiring 😪

Starting. Seriously I'm closing that gap on turning 30 and I'm tired of being a wage slave so I'm teaching myself by using resources I've found online but the immense amount of knowledge I need seems unsurmountable.

I'm coming home from work and learning for at least two hours before going to bed and going back to work but it seems so far until I get to be creating stuff instead of just trying to absorb as much of the basics as fast as possible.

I was really tired 2hrs ago.... but then I found some motivation.

So basically I wrote an image viewer app (also has a scraper and a downloader).

The Viewer component loads each image 1 at a time... but these are like 4MB each so there's like 5s lag...

It's now 11:30PM and I have just finished implementing a cache so it pre-loads N pictures before and after the current one.

Now moving between images is so fast and smooth...

TLDR.... girls can actually motivate you to code some amazing stuff... even when you're tired.

I clipped just the top as well... the rest is NSFW....

!rant

So, I've been wanting to learn C++ for a couple months now - decided to get a good book yesterday (Professional C++ 3rd Edition) on the language to help guide me through the more advanced concepts.

Fast forward today and I'm having a blast! Still uncomfortable with the syntax but I'll get used to that over time.

So fun 😊

Today I am proud,
because I kept going.

I didn’t give up,
because I needed to reach it.

My finger moved fast,
tapped so fast and I felt it closing in.

So close… oh so close.

It was getting hot.
My vision started to blur,
and yet I could not stop.

I hit the key one more time,
and found my bloody command.

when you are so fast with code saving ! and switching tabs

Back in Germany, the land of fast cars and slow internet, where rich people preach austerity to prevent improving any kind of infrastructure. How can a first-world country in the heart of Europe suck so badly when it comes to connectivity and train travel?

Cross the border to any other country in Europe and you will notice immediately because suddenly the web just works as it's supposed to be...

Been using linux for over 10 years, just got so-called-fast-no-windows-defender-no-bloatware-completely-revamped-clean-and-resource-efficient Windows 10 Lite poromotion by 3 close friends. we are now enemies.

Jmonkey 3 is so damn fast wow, why dont they use this wonder instead of unity?

*angry js fanboys in the distance*

Oh yeah thats why

just had a movie script idea

in the future, humanity found a way to deal with the problem of death.

humans now live up to 200 years, but their bodies deteriorate very fast.

so instead of keeping them on classic life support, people's heads are succesfully severed and their their brain is plugged into a machine , so that they can live in a digital AI heaven.

This also means that in turn people can talk with their parents that had been in the system already.

So there you go, an artifficial heaven.

Am i the only one annoyed that at first the coffee is too hot, so you have to take small sips. But when its at the right temperature, you have to drink it fast so that it doesnt go cold.

So, this is 2023, a year with a prime number, Windows updates will be fast, the Linux desktop will have a breakthrough, and AMD will have 25% dGPU market share.

Never decided to change company so fast.

- i am a freelancer but I have working hours
- i am a freelancer but I can only be absent 21 (unpaid) days/year including sick days
- starting hour is x... Time x-1 "let's have standup right now!"

I am leaning more and more towards the idea that most corporates don't care about the revenues, they just try to make everyone miserable

Immediately start coding every feature all at once as fast as possible. After about a week I realize the architecture is so bad I can't continue so I stop, and design the architecture properly so it will scale. Then I delete everything I had and start from scratch. Finally after about another week I lose interest and let it rot in the side project graveyard.

Rinse and repeat.

my coworker just disabled the unit tests in the build process

without telling anybody and without comment in the log

I was happy that my code worked then it was a little bit fishy that the build was so fast

I am so angry now and of course I need to fix the tests as well

The biggest race ..
Intern wanna be junior,
junior wanna be intermediate,
intermediate wanna be senior

And the fear not to be lower then each other may be the reason why tech is
moving so fast on never ending race

Fail fast. But also... someone in a different area screwed up really bad.... so everyone can now enjoy this turning kit on productivity called a change freeze... it may be lasting for months... also... we're going to be putting a higher emphasis on productivity. So do more, but also, don't. Because we're freaking idiots.

10 minutes in and I’m in love... my 8 year old windows laptop which was at this point so agonizingly slow it was barely usable, is now lightning fast

I REALLY wanna install Linux on my main lappy but I’m too skittish about losing my music production stuff

The newest Win10 Update freed up 13GB on a 32GB laptop, so fucking happy, holy shit - I had to watch every little thing that couldn't go onto the microsd because windows was always leaving me only max. 2GB, now I can just blast it all onto the fast storage!

so, me and my best friend started playing pen and paper and after a wile we decided to create our own system. After a year of improving and testing we thaugth about a new java side project and more improvements for our system. time goes by and now we have three java apps for our own pen and paper and a lot of reusabilly code.

Playing and planing a new session of p&p is now so comfortable and fast 🤗

I just installed voidlinux and daaaamn this shit is good. Its so lightweight and fast :3
And I don't even need the AUR to install i3-gaps. Its in the fucking main repo.

Now I'll just shut the fuck up and continue experimenting

I felt the internet speed was so fast today, so I went to speedtest and this came out.

(beats everyone)

After creating my own PHP MVC framework with Twig as templating engine, everything is now so simple and so fast, I juat cant belive how much I understand now. The development is just so smooth, you know exactly what to do all the time... And for my simple project, it does not even hurt that much to use PHP (and its even strictly typed 7.2, so not that bad). I think that I am in love. ❤

How the hell people read so fast ;-;

For me reading metro 2033 took 2 weeks, and since o was bored these days and my pc was dead, i was reading it around 14-16 hours per day....

Im never gonna finish c++ book i would love to finish...

I wrote a Rust script in 10 minutes or so that processes several GiB's big ISO files and it calculates its values so fast, that most time is spent waiting for the HDD! Look at the CPU usage and the disk read/write stats :D

(No, the picture is not fake, it's a real screenshot from my desktop edited with Gimp)

Started working on a per project in Rust (first time using Rust) .. a scripting language.

Rust is great, so fast, compiles in 0.5-1.2seconds on my $200 laptop as well! Pretty rare for safety, speed, AND compile speed to exist in one beautiful language.

Also my scripting language is the opposite of beautiful. Oh God.

So we released a new version of a core system on friday trusting everything was fine... Saturday morning everyone reporting problems and we run as fast as we can to find out a super important field was never assigned after unserialized 🙃

Just realized that after 3 months of continuous samsung s9 use my phone is still as fast as it was when i got it out the box.

Man I love this stupid phone so much. Everything opens up so fast and this sob is as smooth as an iphone when it comes to the speed.

Pure goodness. Still would like to try a more pure Android environment u know? Like back when nexus was still a thing. I don't really dig the pixel phones too much but know that I am on a more open carrier and I can use phones like the one plus series I think i know what my next phone would be.

Nothing personal samsung, you have been good ans loyal, but i want to play with more phones.

I really love smartphones.

Dev industry develop so fast. This is because information available anywhere in the internet and people try to learn any programming language they want . But only few know whether they following secure coding practice or not

But the thing is most of Dev people dosent care about security. They focus just to develop a application but not to secure it?

It's an irony in my case. Python is so simple and fast to implement that I end up doing all my projects ( web dev, ML, crawlers, etc.) But still I can't use Python for solving competitive programming. Python seems unknown if I don't have access to google. Way to go to learn Python. Though able to think Pythonic nowadays.. ;p

I have what I hope to be the final 'final' interview for a new job tomorrow. So many hoops to jump through. At least I know the company has a thorough hiring process! It really cannot come fast enough

A few days ago I noticed that KDE Plasma was taking ages to launch. Like a minute or two of black screen as it loads, then a few more minutes of terrible slowness before things start to respond as they should. I assumed KDE was at fault and was just too bloated, until I recalled that my root partition was on an old 7200RPM HDD. I had completely forgotten since I dual boot and was primarily using Windows (which is on a separate SATA3 SSD) for the last few months.

So I replaced the HDD with an NVMe drive.

HOLY CRAP. SO FAST.

Cold boot to fully-responsive KDE in all its bloated majesty in less than 15 seconds.

I bought a laptop with a 4GHz CPU, 32GB of RAM, 2TB fusion drive all to execute a hello world script in the terminal so that it can run fast :)

So devRant takes about 4-5 seconds to load after launching it. I have a good internet connection and my phone is fast. Does this happen to you too??

24 hours while a "pool" in my school (pool is a two-weeks fast formation where you can work 24h/24 to understand how a programming language works)
It was a C++ pool with a garbage subject meant to reproduce the functioning of a factory with... Factories.
Unit tests were use to mark us, so you know the struggle

Just reached my office.

Roads were flooded so, I pull my motorbike to other lane and drive while traffic coming from another side.

Felt like fast and furious. Now, I am smiling like Budha and my co-worker giving me strange looks, like I got enlightenment.

mom: son you received a package
me: wow 😍 (expecting stressball)
mom: oh nice, it is great
me: wow (so fast international delivery)
mom: it an invitation to a state level event organised by state government
me: yeah, mom i applied for it.
stress over stressball

Failed another programming intervie. Didn't expect the 2D array question. Feel so bad. Just wanna cry and give up. I need to get better..fast.

So it’s been a few months now since I first started learning to code and I am losing steam FAST. For the first couple months I couldn’t tear myself away from my screen and now I’m having a hard time forcing myself to even open my computer!!

What are some things you’ve done to get yourself past that rut?

Took a task with 3 story points ( mappable to ~2-3days) and wondered why it was so much more than the estimation. I expected to finish in 2 to 2 1/2 days but needed 4. Afterwards I just realized that I accidentally did more then needed and finished two upcoming stories as well, each 2 SP so 7SP for everything.

Feeling jumped from "man I could be faster" to "man that was really fast".

It feels like a fuck up, however, it is victory

Just started an android O development course on Udemy and decided to use my Arch installation (surprisingly Linux was the easiest one to set up) even though the course said Mac or windows only..

But holy fuck does android studio fly on Linux, it's so fast compared to being run on the same machine under windows...

Someone just left a small turd in front of the toilet bowl and stepped on it so now there's smeared shit on the floor tiles in a toilet stall.

Must be all the caffeine I guess.
Oh, and don't stand up too fast after taking a shit apparently, since I can't fathom how that happened.

Built a pFSense box for home with said proxy. Even though my internet connection is slow it seems fast now thanks to squids MITM https proxy and http proxy. Plus a little QoS helps. And it has so many more features than a regular router.... WTF didn't I do this sooner?

Why are you all so obsessed with hating jQuery? For me it just does the job done. Animate stuff. But I agree being totally dependant on javascript is bad for any website. Seen hundreds of wordpress spaghetti code where fancy effects were made with jquery like CSS opacity 0 and jquery animate to 1... What a bullshit. But yeah I still love jquery. Easy, fast and reliable.

So this cat (stray) used to come with her baby kitten, for food. Mama always fed the baby first, licked her, protected her....
Fast forward, now the baby kitten is all grown up. Now if she comes near mamas food, she gets growls and a nasty smack from mama cat. :D :D

In my early days of web development I was on the lookout for a good PHP IDE and stumbled upon Komodo IDE. Never in my life have I asked for a refund so fast. Crashed at the most random times, such as when opening files and folders. Even accessing the settings could cause it to crash. Besides that I found it slow af.

I had to choose a subject for a math project. So I selected encryption (elliptic curve). I decided to make an interactive demo website. First time working with node, websockets, large numbers and latex. Most fun project I ever did. I am still proud on the result and how fast I did it (~3 weeks)

Finally got round to signing up to a VPN for my devices and my sons. After a lot of research decided on surfshark, signed up for 3 years with great discounts. BUT, it doesn’t work on iPhone ( tried everything in the help) still bollox. Cancelled it and went for my second choice which was Nord. The software is great. Worked without issue, same on m1 mac. Thousands of servers worldwide. For me this is great and fast. So if you are looking for a fast reliable VPN Nord is the one. PS not affiliated or work for Nord, just an opinion and hopefully save someone else some grief.

God I hate this shit. It's so fucking hot in here that I instantly start to sweat when the fan is not running but when it's running I get an instant headache since it runs way to fast even on the lowest level. WHY can't we have an AC as about every other company in the world -.-

My shoes have started to quack like a duck.
(Only when I walk. It would worry me if they quacked otherwise. The quack occurs with every step upon the shoe landing on the ground with the natural force of walking.)

Anyway, I walk really fast and people have started to give me way because they probably think it’s a kid on a rampage. Which… works for me. So yay.

Fuck yea!
We'll cancel our 1&1 internet contract —
And move to QuiX.

Countryside internet is shit. And QuiX builds fiberglass (or so) on countryside while stupid ass telekom only dares to enrich cities with fast internet connection.

And no I'm being paid by QuiX to say this. I don't know, maybe they suck but since I am a gamer in need of fast internet, I'm excited at least..

Firefox quantum is so fast... As fast as chromium/chrome was a few years ago...

so on my new lappy I'm testing XFS. After reading how bloody fast it is, I figured: why not give it a shot!

2 weeks later, I want to go back to ext4. XFS is SSSSOOOOOO fault-intollerant, it breaks my Chrome profile after each forced-poweroff (or power loss). And the on-boot fsck freezes. And after a successful bootup I see the log messages in syslog are all messed up (timestamps are all over the timeline!!!)

it's a mess... A very fast mess.

Watching a video on YouTube that shows: Refactoring and Extract Method features in xcode 9 beta brings a tear to my eye, never thought we will get that basic functionality 😢

Used to be a fan of agile and the wisdom of the crowd, but now I’m not so sure. If the team majority aren’t experienced then the experienced people make suggestions are voted down.
I’m fast becoming anti-agile now

First job as a web dev (promoted within my company from helpdesk!!!!). I made it explicitly clear that my php experience is rudimentary and that I was still learning and our CIO was fine with that, just said I need to fast track learning.

In my first website support meeting today they dropped all kinds of fun stuff about Wordpress development that I only know the basics on and is now my responsibility to learn, so:

How the hell do I learn php/scss/sass/docker for Wordpress really fucking fast? Lol

!rant I made the mistake of consuming a root beer float too fast and ended up feeling nauseous.

But then I remembered there’s a stupid trick that sometimes works where sniffing rubbing alcohol can sidetrack your system to prevent nausea so sniffed the heck out of an alcohol wipe.

Successfully avoided puking. Great success.

Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.

Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅

"Please stop importing the resources so fast, our servers can't keep up"

Please send the correct data in the first place, so we don't need to fetch all of it again under time pressure

Hi everyone... Great to be back but not feeling so great. I keep feeling... "tired", "bored", like everything I do has no fucking meaning. Like I lost all of that fun I had when I was making my own projects. I get home at 6PM from work and it feels like time passes by so fast. I can't even muster up the enthusiasm to start my own personal projects.

What do you do when you feel like this? How can I get back my enthusiasm?

BLAZING FAST

I never see this said with reference to a fucking hardware driver or a shit hot games engine, it's always used to persuade me to use some fucking frontend framework.

It's JS, running in a browser, polishing the turd of the clapped-out DOM - I don't EXPECT it to be fast. I just don't want it to go completely to fuck straight away. The bar is so low that the core of the Earth is melting it.

The question about which I am curious is that why the Godot Engine is so fast even in low end pc for making games rather than unity and unreal engines?

When I'm at a medium sized company: Let's get CI/CD so we can build things and release things fast and stress free.

Now working at a big company. We have all the CI/CD we can ask for. Why are things still so slow and stressful o.o

Happy to be here 1st day and I'm enjoying it ,best social network ever for programmers ...been looking for such for so long and starting to get addicted.
Here I've learnt here that I need to start learning new stuff real fast.
Here I feel not alone,cos here I feel at home.
I'm Sam from Nigeria ( any Nigerian here?)

Just came back from 3 weeks of holidays. I was so ready to boot into my Linux. Suddenly the windows boot thingie appeared and I was like "dude wtf is going on rn?!". Seems like I installed win10 before leaving 3 weeks ago. Downloading fedora now. Hope it will go fast :)

So an update on my last rant(s) about dependencies and wasting time...

Today I finally lost it... With deadline fast approaching, i went to the big boss and he basically got everyone on his team to get their shit together and give me what I had asked for... 2 weeks ago...

It only took them 30mins.... Just the correct SQL query really...

was developing a custom website for a friend, coz i primised him id do so.

but when i actually developed it i felt lazy midway so i made one table store json strings and used it for every type of data he has on his website.

everything works fine and fast, its nothing he would notice but...

am I going to hell?

Honest question: Is Jira really that bad?
Iam using Jira. It is not blazing fast nor is the UI amazing but I wouldn't rate it so badly.

That said, when the UI gets cluttered it's mostly company-internal stuff that fills up space (not only Jiras fault). I also don't use confluence.

But I see so many rants on it, is this just people jumping on the hate-hype-train?

Can someone tell how does Instagram load images so fast without any delays ?
Because i'm planning to enhance my application performance as much as i can

So after having a rather shit day at work I notice that my phone (samsung s7 edge) is at 50% and indecide to fast charge it...then i notice it "Fast charging, 55 minutes till ready" great....fucking....great. please don't tell me that the battery is fuckd up...i really do not need this

So much AI everywhere, I use Warp as terminal on macOS and today they introduced AI assistant and now at least if I sudo rm -rf / I can have someone to ask for help fast enough to know how bad I messed up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ik was helping a friend and needed quick a dev environment. Great, github codespaces to the resque! Fast dev environment with vscode editor online running a debian container. Perfect. But then it happened: "You're at 100% of your included usage for this billing period. For more information, view your billing settings.".

I can't access my source files anymore. Fuck, it was so much research