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Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 204 No Content
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 413 Payload Too Large
Me: 102 Processing
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 429 Too Many Requests
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Me: 101 Switching Protocols
Me: 408 Request Timeout
GF: 102 Processing
Me: GET /sleep
Sleep: 404 Not Found
Me: 406 Not Acceptable
(Morning)
Me: 501 Not Implemented19 -
Me and my wife are software engineers
Started dating while doing a project together
I guess you could say that we...
MERGED WITHOUT CONFLICTS21 -
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Hi IT, I can't enter to my computer, i put my password and it says it's incorrect.
Me: Ok, hold me a few.
(10 seconds without do anything)
Me: Try again.
User: It worked! Thanks!!2 -
Me: *busy doing dev stuff with my laptop*
Sis: *looks at my to-do stickies* Hey, what's Log4j?
Me: *without looking away from my screen* it's a library.
Sis: oh, cool! Where is it? Do you have a membership?
Me: Ha-Ha. This is going on devRant.2 -
Me: *just playing around with Git on my terminal*
Friend: "Man, you're such a geek, typing your git command on the terminal.. I myself can't use git without the GUI at all"
Me: *stares at him in silence*
Me: "Wait... THERE 'S A GUI FOR THAT?"
*true story when I was in college*40 -
Teacher: answer this question without Googling
Me : *gives answer after using DDG*
When will people realize that Google isn't the only way to browse the internet15 -
If you're going to bother to detect that my input is without hyphens, then you can certainly insert them for me too.
8 -
Am I the only one that will have my headphones on (without music) just so people will not bother me?19
-
Normal app: "DEV I NEED THIS, 1 STAR. WITHOUT THIS IS SHIT"
devrant app: "Guys, I've created a client for desktop computer for devrant, tell me if I can upgrade anymore"
Such beautiful community ♥4 -
A friend of mine wanted me to scale a 64x64px png image to the size of a facebook cover without quality loss.8
-
Other people : she said yes :') :')
Me: the client accepted the first draft without asking for changes :') :')2 -
Co-worker has been sick for two days now (the guy that mainly helps me).
This has forced me to do nearly every ticket myself without asking questions.
It's going really great! I'm very happy about it tbh 😊7 -
My boss just designed this and asked me to implement it, without asking for any input.
I was a UX designer at my previous job. This makes me want to cry.
19 -
Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.
New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.
Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.
Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".
😮
Thanks a thousand times to that guy!13 -
When I'm right in the middle of a difficult piece of code/algorithm and a colleague gets me a cup of coffee without me asking
-
"Why did you bring Wagyu beef to the meeting?"
"Because the calendar description said: Engineers should proactively add value for our steak holders"
(True story -- They told me to do what management instructs, without correcting anyone and without asking questions. And I love playing that game!)6 -
Interview : alright .. your backend experience match us perfectly. Now tell me about ur experience with JavaScript !
Me replying without thinking :
Fuck JavaScript !
Interview : 😮😦 !!
Me : 🤐😨
Interview : alright then, u are in the short list and will get back to u for your second interview.8 -
One of my ex-girlfriends (who apparently still cares about me after several years 🤔) sent me this chain letter kind of thing wishing me 12 months without sickness, 52 weeks without stress, 365 days of luck, 8760 hours without fights, 525600 minutes of peace, and 31536000 seconds of happiness.
But that's not what I want mate! All I want is a year of <50ms ping!! 😝
I still kind of like her though, especially given that she's still thinking about me.. maybe I should have trying to go out with her again as one of my objectives for 2019?19 -
My boss asked in a meeting if it is possible to make an algorithm/software without generating bugs.. After that my colleague send me this pic 😂
-
Today i've met a big customer of our company
He was absolute friendly and gave me clear requirements without oppositions...
Then I woke up.5 -
We are transferring our infrastructure to Google cloud and Docker. Last week one of our frontend developers tell me:
But it works without Docker!
9 -
I use my mouse on 4k dpi and today someone asked me how do i move the cursor without moving the mouse5
-
Me: "sorry boss I have a burnout, I don't feel to..."
Boss: "which part of the project you can't do?"
Me: "is a burnout, I can't go..."
Boss: "cmon it's easy!"
Me: "..."
8 months without proper holidays produce this.10 -
Her: I like a man who lives dangerously
Me: I sold a game to my client without debugging it
Her: grab a mop6 -
Me: I want the laptop without pre installed Windows.
Seller: Genuine windows will take care of viruses. It's virus proof.
Me:😂 Windows? Ok but I don't want that, give me without it. 😂😂😂12 -
Worst bad practice..
Manager: I need code today
Developer (thinking) : let me give it without unit test. Anyways tester will test it.
Manager to tester: complete testing fast.
Tester(thinking): developer must have unit tested it. Let me skip it.
Enjoy testing completed.
God help clients.. 😊5 -
Fucking piece of shit forum won't let me view a fucking jpg file without creating a fucking account. Fuck you.10
-
Internet: YOU are nothing without me.
My phone: Th..That's not true! She cc..can make calls ww..ithout you...and ss...send texts. Sh..Sh..She plays offf..offline games sometimes and has ddd..downloaded music to her storage that she could llii.. listen to and has a sshh..shit load of memes stocked that she sss..sometimes laughs at. I AM usef...ffuul :-/
Internet *lighting up a cigarette*: hahhaa! You can survive without me. If this were 10 YEARS ago! There's not a slightest chance, today.
My phone *starts sobbing*: sh..shut up sshhhuut uu..up.
Internet *blowing smoke rings*: you think you're the ONLY device she owns?? She has too many of them, but guess who is connected to all those devices! ME! She can't function without me. Hell, the world can't function without ME!
Electricity *rubbing it's eyes from sleep* - what's all that noise??
Phone: 😶
Internet: 😶
Phone: 🙂
(I'm about to fall asleep and there's no power right now. Back up ain't working. Life sucks)5 -
Creating PHP Sites in class:
Teacher: Right guys open your DreamWeaver Code
Me: I found it easier to use Sublime, Just need to do the CSS
Teacher: I don't think you can create a style sheet without DreamWeaver
Me: 🙄🙄🖕👏👏👏👍28 -
In my yesterday's interview:
Interviewer: Tell me about some cool things you did on last year.?
Me: Connecting multiple IoT devices and create dashboard to show status using web sockets.
Interviewer: Oh great. You did without page refresh.?
Me: Yeahh 🙄
Interviewer: Then its cool.
Me: 😬🤔😐22 -
SO: How to ... in JavaScript?
Answer: use jQuery!
SO: How to ... in JavaScript without jQuery?
Answer: use jQuery!
Me: ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I hate j-f*cking-query, I don't want to learn it!!15 -
On a company meeting there was a discussion wether to trigger an event by hover or mouse click for 20 minutes. then..
Me: "There is no mouse click without hover."
-- silence --5 -
My client is trying to force me to sign an ethics agreement that would allow them to sue me if found in breach of it. At the same time they are scraping eBay's data without their consent and refuse to sign the licence agreement. Apparently they don't understand irony.3
-
Me: Making me work 17 hours without a 8 hour break is illegal.
Manager: You just sit at a damn desk all day and long shifts are required of IT
???????? Do you really think I just sit at my desk twaddling my thumbs?13 -
As a firm supporter of information security, it really "irks" me to see people get up and walk away form their desks without locking their machines... Anyone else with me on this?!18
-
> be me
> post question on stackoverflow
> get -4 without any comments
> deletes question because I like my score
¯\_(ツ)_/¯7 -
Le me at the end of an interview
Recruiter: What is your salary expectations
*trying to find a good number but without exaggeration*
Me: well, about x USD.
Recruiter: that's ok for us.
Me inside: oh I should asked more than that! Stupid me.6 -
Girlfriend: hey, wake up.
Me: Error this interface has no audio input mode. The normal process can continue without audio.
Girlfriend: You aren't even coding.
Me: The interface was running without audio when interrupted. The behavior for audio is undocumented.
Girlfriend: I just want to know if you want to unplug your headphones.
Me: **wearily recalls most people don't refer to sleep as an interface** -
Job interview just made me realize I can't write a working line of code without IDE holding my hand ffs...4
-
It's sooooo frustrating when a client forces me to make a design vertically fit in their own screen size. "Everything doesn't fit on my screen without scrolling" :(
2 -
Just solved two huge bugs in a private project without using Stack Overflow... Since when am I even able to do this? What happened to me?2
-
Me when I started coding: I can get this done under an hour, I'll add tons of comments and write it beautifully without errors
Me now: Yeah I can probably write these 5 lines and have them ready in about a year or so6 -
That moment that you start typing on your new ergonomic keyboard and suddenly notice that your muscle memory has nearly entirely adjusted to this new keyboard without you even noticing it because you're suddenly typing at full speed while you hardly could type any sentence an hour ago without looking at your keyboard.
This kinda stuff never ceases to amaze me!9 -
!rant
Boss: You can't start coding without understanding the phrase P. O. O. P.
Me: P. O. O. P.?
Boss: Is a carefully organized code
People
Order
Our
Programs
2 -
Sometimes i dont even feel like i am living at all. I couldnt even state what makes me happy anymore without a second thought.
15 -
need a stock photo
go to getty images
damn, can't download without watermark, dont wanna pay them
well, let the AI generate it for me
The AI:
8 -
Genuinely upset that I don't have wifi
Fuck Irma
Fuck this.
I can deal without a/c, not wifi.
Kill me.4 -
About to install Visual Studio 2017 using my barely 5 Mbps internet
Install size is ~ 30fuckingg7 GB! 😨
Something gotta be seriously wrong with this world if it gets installed without any troubles.
Pray for me
13 -
Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:
Password1 === pASSWORD1
Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔11 -
Be me:
> turns on laptop
> enter funky town password
> presses enter
> expects wallpaper to show
Be windows:
> fuck you mother fucker!
> surprise asshole
> I magically updated on you without warning
10 -
Thinking about getting this as a tattoo on my wrist (without the words), what do you think? Currently 21, will this decision fuck me over somewhere?
11 -
Exams are kinda good. They make me realise that i can sit idle for 3 hours without my phone and my computer. 😁😁1
-
I just wrote this piece of code. Without googling. Call me regex king!
But in fact regex is not that hard, you just have to learn the syntax 😄
28 -
CTO: Trigger email to everyone when internet goes down. Do this by EOD.
Me: OK
Later
How could I send email without internet.
Confused....5 -
The not supporting browser part is ok but I'm not on windows using ie but on my phone using my default browser ........
Also how dare they put ie on my phone without telling me ........
4 -
Arrived at office then almost immediately the boss, who's also a developer, tells me he changed something on the protocol/api.
Me thinking: u just broke the api without thinking on consequences but hey... Ur the boss...
Later, he says: look, our app crashes!
Me: obviously...
:/ what the f**k was he thinking... :/9 -
I don’t work without rest. In fact, I rest during the work. I was once got caught by the director(3 level above me) while sleeping in my cubicle.5
-
me: “Realistically, the only way to pull in this data without replicating and without an API feed is to scrape it from the site”
manager -> to the client: “basically he’s got to hack your system to do it”2 -
I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.
I cry like a bitch when I get home.6 -
Today one person called me to ask if he could create a corporate email without buying the domain.
*More people that wanna be rich without spending a penny *4 -
Does anyone knows how to put these down, without making the whole laptop sticky mess? Because the fucking alignment makes me inner scream.
16 -
that really killed me today when i sat in the office
how good can you rant with your colleagues? i don't think i would survive long without this kind of therapy xD
2 -
Today I explained a young kiddo that <insert multilayer game here> cannot work without servers.
Then he asked me how I don't get bored writing so much...1 -
Being able to drink coffee (nope no decaf) including espresso's without my heart complaining. Idk that taste always gives me a boost!15
-
About to post my first question on SO.
Wish me luck.
How should I word a question without getting downvoted into Oblivion.
(Fucking polymer)8 -
Few months back, one of my good but non-dev friend came to visit me.
He: I've done a website in HTML. Can you help me make it responsive.
Without a second thought, I agreed.
*Opened the file in editor*
<tables> <tables> <tables> <tables>
I kicked him out of my house without a second thought.3 -
Today, the coffee machine gave me only a lump of sugar. Without coffee, without water and without glass. It's going to be a long long day...2
-
my mom says: "I've got an app [on my smartphone] so that I can call and internet via my phone at work, so I don't use any minutes or MBs! :) "
me: "So how does your phone communicate with your work phone then? "
my mom: "via the app"
me: "without using minutes or MBs?"
my mom: "yes"
me: "So how does your phone communicate with your work phone then? "
my mom: "via the app"
me: "without using minutes or MBs?"
my mom: "yes"
etc1 -
Alright, I know people joke about this but I just spent 4 hours debugging a 50 line chunk of code, and the first time it worked without errors it scared me🙃3
-
My girl friend broke up with me few days ago without any solid reason. Today i stopped her and ask her why she broke up with me and she started giving stupid reasons whereas she was the one who was actually guilty of those accusations.
24 -
Me; Develops website. Website is done.
Client; we want an english version as well!
Me; implements english version.
Client; we want to go live but without the english version for now
*Fkc gmfbl gdddmn*4 -
Installers that copy files into a default directory without letting me change the installation path.. fuck whoever does that!6
-
After using so much VIM and VIM key binds in other IDEs, a piece of me dies every time I have to code without them.
Am I the only one?4 -
Don't remind me of that hackathon 😑 My advice: don't go there without being prepared, team wise, tool wise and skill wise. And whatever happens, don't forget to have fun.1
-
IF YOU DONT WANT ME TO INSTALL SOMETHING WITHOUT UPDATING THEN FUCKING SAY SO INSTEAD OF SAYING MY PASSWORD IS WRONG.1
-
You want me to build a whole fucking site with a new theme on December with no mockups and all build with a custom design after you left me all fucking September and october without fucking work?.
No. Fucking. Way.1 -
Quote of the day
"Writing code without thinking of its architecture is useless in the same way as dreaming about your desires without a plan of achieving them."
That literally hit me hard5 -
Client: i want payment integration without using any of those 3rd party gateways like 2checkout.
Me: uhmmm, any reason you cant use those gateways?
Client: its more professional
...
they also take percentages on every transaction !
Me: ... *closes chat*4 -
Being a mentor stresses me a bit. It was nicer to work alone without the need of assigning tasks to someone else.
Quite an underwhelming rant. I know. I don't have much to rant about.8 -
I always love it when a manager who has no coding background tells me to "just do this" without ever letting me do any research. Just because you see it in you favorite app does not mean that feature is trivial.1
-
Got home to acknowledge I forgot to pay the fucking internet bill and now I'm in a void without knowing what I'll do and everything might end with me wasting my mobile data and some whiskey2
-
Seriously OnePlus, stop trying to optimise my battery.
My alarm was ringing for over a minute without me realising it because it apparently decided it was unimportant enough to just silently fade into the background.
Ugh9 -
Problem: Someone isn't receiving emails.
Me: Finds that someone else set up their account without an email address.
Me: Man what kinda person would let you turn on email alerts without a valid email address .....
-Checks-
Me: You know anyone could have made that mistake, I'll just fix it up right here .... -
4 years ago
Me: you probably shouldn’t use an IDE, you would learn a lot more about the language if you did things manually.
JavaFriend: Nah I’m all good
Me: alright you do you
4 years LATER
Me: *gets text* oh it’s from JavaFriend. *opens text*
JavaFriend: “dude so I decided to stop using my IDE’s and start doing things manually and I’m learning so much”
Me: ...
Me: I know. I’ve been doing it like this for a reason.
I know IDEs are helpful and good to use but personally I like to work without them and I feel it helps you learn the language more of you go without it.
If you have opinions on the topic in general lemme know.26 -
Me: JavaScript, you are crazy...
JavaScript: honey, you can not live without me... If you survive without me, leave now!!!
(That was three years ago)
and I am still writing #JavaScript applications -
That's true with me in older days I am happy when my code runs without error on first time...but now it seems like borring and error make me happy.😂😂
4 -
Someone who was lazy to make changes from dev branch, making code only in production without updating dev then wanted me to merge from production to dev because he was scared ☺️
-
SE then and today...
It's our duty to fix that situation!
(found that pic without source :( tell me, ill delete the pic or honour the drawer)
3 -
I can’t remember shit
My code editor helps me a ton!!
I have most documentation offline.
Ask me to do shit in a job interview without Google or any reference material then the joke is on 🤡2 -
Me being me:
*Me thinking about something*
*Unlocks phone*
*Goes to DevRant*
*Scrolls without reading*
TrollBrain: this is not DevRant
*Closes DevRant and opens it again*
... Wait what?
Them blank moments :/ -
Searching in Youtube "Upcoming Phones 2020" gives me "Top 10 upcoming phones in India"
*Clicks one english title without the word "India"
*Hears voice over in Hindi.
why oh why.6 -
Why am I a rockstar today? So glad you asked! I used "sed" without having to look at the manual. 12 files updated, 10 minutes saved... that's some good time to devRant if you ask me.4
-
You would think developers would have some intelligence...
*Side note: If you're building a sort of SDK, please for fucks sake never force me to use XCode, and make sure that it actually fucking compiles without me having to fix your code"
-
As a developer, I have stopped seeing problems in my everyday workflow. I guess my mind makes workarounds without me noticing.
Example, a lot of the people around me complain about slow internet at my place, I've never been able to experience it that way. -
I am yet to see a javascript tutorial which explains what I'm looking for without having to first explain me another javascript framework.2
-
Without caffeine ➞ me ⩶ useless
With caffeine ➞ anxiety++
Btw I don't drink 10 liters / 2.6 gallons of coffee everyday or anything, just a small latte does the trick ..
7 -
I asked my teacher what's wrong with the PCs, because I can't even open up File manager without any freeze.. She told me that it's old, and she's planning to fix them. So being me, I asked her if I can help, and she said yes..
*grabbed my screwdriver*
*opened up the case*
>fuck, kill me
7 -
FUCK THE WINDOWS TEXT EDITOR FOR USING UNICODE WITHOUT TELLING ME. I SPEND HALF AN OUR FIGURING OUT WHY "1" COULDN'T BE PARSED INTO AN INTEGER.
-
First rant! I hate being OnCall. I'm just out of college, give me some time to ramp up without these panic attacks.3
-
FML, I am the most senior member of my department, everyone have a questions for me, everyone need input from me, everyone cannot exist for an hour without my input. Including my manager who picks my brain on the things that he tries to research. Send help..9
-
First wikipedia asks me donation. Then tells me facts 98% Indians do not donate. And when I try to donate, it doesn't let me donate without PAN. I am a student.6
-
Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
Me: o_O1 -
This is not joke but fact
More than a year ago I write code without tests, I must confess its frustrating trying to debug without proper testing. testing is painful I must admit but you can't compare the confident you have on your code with the pains when writing tests.
About a year ago I wrote a whole software without tests and this words from a friend hunted me everyday till date he said, what cannot be tested cannot be trusted. Wise words.7 -
i was on vacation. one week in denmark without a computer.
7 days without a single line of code written. i am scared to boot my pc because i can not tell if i am able to write an application anymore.
But hell i need this. I feel so unproductive T.T
Wish me luck3 -
This stupid motherfucker just updated a dependency without even realising that it breaks everything, pushed it to the package manager and causes me almost 2 days debugging.
Nico nico wanna break your fucking knee2 -
Dear rust,
I swear im not going to modify that string, i fucking swear on my life pinky promise, just plEASE LET ME USE IT WITHOUT HAVING TO CLONE.
Sincerely, a functional programmer6 -
Having to use BlueJ makes me want to jump off a bridge. :)
Stupid fucking editor tells me I have errors in my code, even though it compiles without problems using the Java command.1 -
Trying my luck for an A rank conference in like 3 months. Things are not done and anxiety will end me before then. 😑
Can't these stupid robots do their own thing without me and get published on my behalf? Shit is tiring! Arghhhhh5 -
!dev
I just fucking hate people that have 10 years without talking to me and write me to ask for a favor.
Starting like: hey man how are you doing? Like you give a fuck about the shithole I'm at, just tell me what a fuck do you want and let me go back to my life.6 -
What is your favourite dev-tool, you can't live without?
For me it's Git. Rescued my life for several times... 😅13 -
Model without conv2:
"I'm gonna be poor and miserable and barely give you .96 acc after much training."
Model with conv2:
"Ahoi! Look at me score .95 in the first epoch!"
😤11 -
Somehow it always makes me feel good when I encounter a job related to programming without any need of a degree. It's always good to know there's still a backdoor even if everything goes to hell.3
-
Lua, tables ("arrays") start at 1.
It also has no sleep function and its defacto package manager (luarocks) has almost never worked for me without some serious fuckery7 -
VSCode
Its:
- Sublime but without the pricetag
- Atom but without the crashing
- netbeans but without the Java
- ideaj but without the load times
- vim without the elitism / esoteric design
- cross platform
The only downside to me is that its electron.9 -
without deciding on what content to include, how can you ask me for the layout of the landing page 😡1
-
My boss wants me to add visual effects that goes *poof*, without being able to explain it any further. Hello?4
-
I almost fired off an update query without a where clause on the live db. I stopped at the last second. I'm now having survivors guilt. Why me? Why was I saved when so many before me didn't make it? 😁4
-
1) Let me work with devs without me having to explain fundamentals of programming
2) Stop devs from copy pasting code from StackOverflow or any other project without actually understanding what it does
3) Get devs to actually read and understand project documentation FIRST before jumping into any programming work1 -
Consulting/contracting for a company, and their lead developer/ops guy quits without warning. This leaves me as the only one with the somewhat technical know how but without access to do anything to move any changes to production....4
-
Visual Studio 2019: there’s really no reason for me to explain why this is the best editor without question.5
-
A non-dev friend just complained to me about work and without second thought I recommended her to rant on DevRant. Now I am wondering if that would expose this sanctuary too much?
1 -
Create a library without writing a proper documentation.
1. I'm lazy.
2. No one is going to use it anyway other than me. -
People of DevRant, tell me what software you can't live without in your daily life.
I'll begin:
-Wox
-Snapchot
(Thanks to @Avyiel for showing those)21 -
Talking about adrenaline sports in a class and our favorites.
Me ? Writing C code without checking for null pointers!
What about you ?1 -
I'm pretty sure that I have some guys inside my computer that sometimes fix bugs or break builds overnight without me even touching the code.1
-
My friends and I decided to have a match of HOMM6
So, I booted in Windows after almost 3 months and the first thing that it does is run into an update.
IT RESTARTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
Had to wait nearly 1 hour until the update finished
My friends started without me X(
FUCK YOU WINDOWS5 -
Tell me you don't want to do technical support without telling me you don't want to do technical support
5 -
I know A.I can produce child in some way (ai can make another ai) But without f**k, the only job left for me is to become PornStar();1
-
Last night was dreadful- at 11 pm Dev on my team makes a change to a form with 2 million plus records without informing me and leaves to go out without confirming the change was successful. I get call from the data center at midnight because the app is down. Didn't get done till midnight and now data center boss is blaming me.5
-
I hate colleagues calling me without informing me like WTF. Me being online on Teams does not mean I will drop everything to talk to you. Do I need to put myself to busy whole day?1
-
My friend started giving me advice without me even asking. She didn't listen why I chose to do something but kept on saying it's a wrong decision and why I will regret.
I asked to some people in my network and they agreed with me.
During the conversation with my friend, I felt very furious ans once tried to stop her calmly but she didn't listen, in the end I hung up by saying that I'll talk to her later and ended the conversation without getting into shitty conversation.8 -
Getting disappointed how ChatGPT is getting neutered day by day. Give me a bot that spouts truth without being censored....7
-
My colleagues work on our project files with unstable software for hours on end without saving their progress. Honestly, the balls on them. One of them just closed their Laptops to put it in energy saving mode without saving 2h of progress. Why are you doing this to me?3
-
I'm literally dying because this video left me without breathe from laughing
https://youtube.com/watch/...4 -
Have my projects compile without a single warning.
The road will be long, and deprecation warnings will pounce at me, but I shall prevail. -
The mechanical team once told me, hey I want this feature on the software - sure it will take approx 1 week. Yea I know, but I want it without any bugs.
WTF?? They sure got some f words from me. 😅1 -
Some relatives visited me last night. As soon their son realized I'm a coder, he started asking me silly questions e.g. he had installed some silly hitman game and asked me to tell him reason for it wasn't working on his system.
WTF man? How could I tell you the reason without even looking at the installation or error. -
When udacity makes you do 2 full sections on XML for Android and then tells you to download Android Studio and it's like "here let me write that for you but without fucking it up"2
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Coding is my life duh... Actually, though, it showed me that with just a computer I can make anything without raw materials - websites, programs and lots of tears1
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TL;DR: working too fast is as worse as working too slow
3 months ago the team leader left.
Sincee then, me and another dev are sharing his responsibillities.
Me and him used to do a lot of testing.
(In our team, the devs test and CR each other)
Now that he left, I often find myself sitting without anything to do - because I did all the available tasks and no one tested them or gave feedback.
Sitting with nothing to do feels aweful.
My manager sits behind me, so i cant sit on devRant or Twitter without feeling bad about it.4 -
Company i applied for told me how they are planning to release a new project on friday.
... Decided for a different company -
Boss is always supporting me and helps me to get promotions and better salary. Has true leadership through servitude attitude. He knows that everybody he helps will gladly help him even without him asking for help.
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The most scary thing happens to me is that I wrote a code in staging without any bugs and breaks in production... fuck4
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Me: I need some time to understand this app(taking over it from another developer without explanation)
Boss: I need to bill the client, please finish all the pending features.
Me: :/1 -
>be me
>drinks coffee daily
>goes a day without drinking it, tries to code
>has problems focusing & getting things done
>has trouble staying awake
Never code without drinking coffee
My face when I had 15 errors in 40 lines of code
2 -
In 2 months this guy redesigned 5 times the same website. Without saying nothing to the backend developer. Oh wait... this guy is me...
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Customer: The quality of the software you’re delivering is going down
Me: That’s because we’re developers, support, and spend all day on meetings without mentioning that deadlines are defined by you, not the technical team
Project Manager: I have added more members to the team so you can deliver faster
Me: That’s just slowing us down because this inherited code is shit, there’s no documentation and we’re always in a rush, without time for a proper ramp up
Customer: *throws money to our faces* I’ll remove two weeks to this delivery so we can test it better
Me: …1 -
rumor has it dfox and trogus are abandoning their jobs to prioritize adding stories to devRant.
i mean, a social network without stories? sounds incredibly stupid and irrational to me8 -
I use AdBlock. Deezer gave me one of those 3 months for ~$1.5.
Now I'm Premium+ while using AdBlock without feeling bad about it :)6 -
Commit messages:
1- Defect 6380: fix update of user without end date
2- Defect 6380: fix update of user without end date 2
3- Defect 6380: forgot unit test
4- Defect 6380: fix test
5- Defect 6380: dammit!
6- Defect 6380: raaaaaah!!!!
7- Defect 6380: kill me now -
Project Manager : this code line from here to here is confusing. Before you explain it to me i will need a cup of coffee. Do you want for yourself too?
Me : (*In my head* my mind work pretty clear without it as well.) Yes sir.1 -
Me and my best friend were heavy drinking last night, without eating something.
Now, my stomach hurts like hell.
Guess I won't do anything today. -
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sync my desktop to the cloud without letting me know after the latest system update, FUCK YOU.3
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I was just messing around with flags in Chrome for Android and...well, unlocked the new version (or didn't know if it updated without me noticing)
I dig the layout
4 -
Following my last rant, my current employer told me it wasn’t right for me to assure a job first without telling him first I was planning on leaving.
How does that even work? Am I the only one who thinks that makes no sense at all?15 -
It can't get worse. Low battery in cell phone, shitty coverage, train is held at somewhere in the middle, heavy rush , standing all the time without, tight schedule at work and my girlfriend hates me...4
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No devRant, i do not want to install your App. Let me use your website on my mobile browser without desktop mode and without the need to login.5
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I hope and pray that one day I'll be able to solve problems and program things I wanna program without someones help or me looking up a better solution5
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In the process of fixing a bug, have you ever made your program better without actually fixing the bug?
I feel like it happens a lot to me. -
Meetings are the way of parasites to keep shining without doing shit. Why do they gave to drag me into their bullshit meeting?!$&
2 -
A big question
At least for me!!
Can i succed in this career as a web developer without college?
I am junior of course!5 -
if you ask me how the method i wrote works because you don't understand it, and you don't let me finish my sentences without interrupting me, then you deserve to be punched.
LET ME FINISH WHAT I HAVE TO SAY YOU DUMB SHIT
I WROTE THAT FUCKIN METHOD
I KNOW WHAT IT DOES AND WHY -
A CTO of a certain very large russian company I worked for touched me inappropriately without my consent.10
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OK.... I don't mind ads but when I'm on a mobile device n you just redirect without opening a new window...
You leave me no choice... You just earned 100% IP level blocking.1 -
!dev
My daughter who was playing carom board first time in her life... defeated me (without cheating)4 -
Front-end web development is like a fucking cancer to me right now
I need the following behavior from my development environment if I don't want the webdev experience to destroy my sanity and tempt me into suicide by making me waste my valuable lifetime configuring shit that is ultimately meaningless to the software I'm trying to create:
- I should be able to open the webpage in the browser at localhost:<some-port>
- the page should refresh immediately as I save my files
- I should be able to import node modules installed with npm without using a script tag linking to some CDN (for instance, I want to do a get request with axios instead of the fetch API)
- I should be able to do this without spending more than two minutes reading the documentation for a tool that would enable me to do it, ideally without ever coming even close to touching a configuration file
Right now I know about browser-sync and webpack, or webpack-dev-server or some such fucking shit fuck fucking fuck.
browser-sync seems to fulfill most of these needs, except that I can't seem to bring npm modules into my application and import them. Webpack seems to be able to do this, but at the cost of slowly throwing my life away reading documentation for over-complicated configuration files that do not aid me in actual software creation and therefore do not interest me and never will, all in the hope that I *may* at some point dig out enough shit to find how to do such a use case (i.e. seamless, smooth web development) that to me feels reasonably common and expected.
Is there some tool that enables me to do *seamless*, pleasurable web development without the hassles of over-complication and over-engineering? Is there some hidden command for webpack that allows me to run such simple shit without ever needing to edit some pointless configuration file?
Please, I beg of you, let me know.8 -
My manager sent me a Desktop screen without informing me and I also didn't ask for the same. Now, he wants me to use it. And i am like, WTF 😡😡. Who the fuck told you in ur dreams to send me this shit.8
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My journey from not knowig anything about programming to actually helping other student without their lab work.
Gor me that is actually a pretty good feeling :) -
Is this just me every dev have this problem, while learning something new sometimes I loose track and learn something else completely without any intention of learning it.
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Boss: Ready for deployment?
Me: No, there's still a few bugs.
Boss: let me know when they are fixed!
(Goes back to desk, runs without any issues)
Me: It all finished.
Boss: Wow how did you fix it so fast.
Me: I have no idea. -
I use mail.com and the amount of websites and companies that ask me if I'm sure I don't mean Gmail is so annoying. One finance company even changed it to Gmail without asking me! Time to change email addresses?2
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Me after a long time without coding:
"I need to do this thing multiple times,shit how do I do this??"
After a few seconds of hard thinking:
"Loop exists...wtf is wrong with me.."1 -
It can’t be only me.
Long story short. A second grade classmate suddenly reconnects with me. We talk about this and that, exchange some memories, the usual. 20 minutes into the conversation… she goes: Can you do a website for me for my….
I hate these kind of people, I mean you have a better change just telling me without the foreplay, it’s just making me angry.3 -
My code is in Acceptance Testing phase, and I got a defect reported.
I tried to redo the same without changing the code, it works for me
god dammit -
Become profitable without losing my soul.
Someone help me come up with a revenue stream that's not LOOT BOXES! 😂3 -
I forked an collection/project on TFS so a team could do their own changes on one application and leave me alone. Yay Shadow IT. Now I have to figured out how to do pull requests to merge back into “master” without me doing all the work.4
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Some time ago, I noticed a Node script use a lib called 'rimraf.' Now I'll never forget how to get *nix to delete a directory without giving me lip about it.
rm -rf2 -
It really bugs me out when your co workers start working on a project without telling you. Makes me feel undervalued. I would not complete their sloppy seconds this time for sure
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Not really Lol. WTF? Did you just tell me that VPN for IoT is a bunch of crap just to leave the room without arguing about the alternatives?! What is you fucking point you dirty piece o' motherfuckin shit! Please do me a favor and go fuck yourself!
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On vacation today but forgot we had a board game team activity planned so went to the office anyway in the afternoon (love me some board games) and instantly get pounced by people pleading for help. The build machine had imploded and the deploys broke, because of course it does that when you are away.1
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They had a meeting without me for a production release that was happening tomorrow. Rescheduled the release on my wife's birthday without asking anyone. This was the response when I let this known "Happy Birthday honey, you get a night without me."1
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Feels good when you realize you type like you speak, without thinking about the letters. Only took me a long career to get here.
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Me (to Google): I need *this* WITHOUT *that*
Google: Okay, so you need *this* WITH *that* gotcha.
*SEO guy laughing at my misery*3 -
Kidnapping and torture are the worst crimes one can commit. If it was up to me, both would amount to life in prison without parole, no exceptions.7
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Not me but, my boss chose to use devexpress "just as a visual layer" without studying devexpress deeply, this means that everyday i have to study some random devexpress quirk to fix a clients problem.
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!rant
If you want to resize and move windows without any hassle (with pressed ALT key) in windows? Just like in linux? Then check out AltDrag.
Wish someone had told me this sooner 😅 -
Starting job where I am no longer a developer doing developing.
Damm I hate the ops job, now they letting me do pm work without pay raise or anything.
So worse mistake I ever made....1 -
Can't do anything without you, can't do anything with you.
That's the relationship between coffee and me -
Looking for a driver updater that will allow me to update without a "you'll need the pro version to download and install drivers" and allow me to do all drivers instead of 1 or 2 a day.
Recommendations?3 -
Having a discussion with my manager about how interesting I find the job and what I want to focus on and me trying to answer truthfully without just saying I want a different job...4
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Multiplayer cards game.
I designed one cards game and wish to test it with many players without the need to meet face to face.
Playtesting a game near real people is exhausting for me 😵 -
Finally there is a dradlocks hair style. It didn't feel like me without them. *just noticed the hairstyle, didn't know it was available before
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I love when someone asks me a website and he doesn't give the photos or anything else. It's like tell to a builder to build an house without a project.
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I've been a dev for more than half my life now and it still kind of surprises me the ability of typing fast and precise without looking at the keyboard.
I know it's silly but is a pretty neat self-taught-through-practice ability.
Good for you, everyone who types without looking at the keyboard. -
Bad time management habits.
As for me, I've recently changed job and took some side projects and without some tricks (Getting Things Programmed) I would just end up shits creek without a paddle. I feel like I'm already in, but some tricks keep my numbers on the boards and I don't sink yet.
Also bad eating and no sport habits. -
!rant
Doxygen is one of my favorite dev tools. One, I think it kinda forces me to document my code better than what I used to do without it and two....it's "automatic" -
I learned Django which wasn't really interesting because I'm more interested in Data Science but my friends with me at the university think you cannot do Data Science without learning Web Development. Thoughts?10
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Today my manager asked me to provide technical skills. I replied with 'spring boot, react...(did not mention java)'.
He replied to me saying 'you know spring boot without java?'
Am I stupid thinking he should understand that already by seeing spring boot?2 -
It's so difficult for me to keep working on a project for more than a month without cancelling it due to tediousness.. nearly every project of mine also feels quite irrelevant.
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What is your biggest "if people heard me now without context, I'd be going on a trip to the authorities" moment?3
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I took leave without informing my manager. He called me and told you're not in college. He is pissed what do I do?5
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Me: [Talking about how you are able to create AMI images on AWS using Packer without relying on public AMI images]
Ops: Yeah our AWS version doesn't have that.
Me: wut? ಠ_ಠ -
It happens with everybody or with me only. A year before I was able to write whole app and now switched to other tech. Now I am unable to write even hello app without help
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Gave a coding interview today on Coderbyte. The portal didn’t allow me to print anything (could only return from function). Had a hard time debugging code without using print statements 😤8
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What do you think about that bitch? In french we call it "the whipping father" and as the name says, he's a twat. Let me see how you like your piece of coal when I make you swallow it you fucking cunt. Nobody whip me without my consent.
17 -
Global rant.
A friend who studied with me in the software engineering degree, told me that they use source control, but only with commits.
No branches no nothing.
Now, I understand when a company won't work without source control but how can you work with source control without branches? In a start-up? With more than 10 deve?
How?
Why?4 -
its just me or when im f-k work hard for days
i take a f-k big reset for weeks without doing anything
even coding make me cry as f-k
and i cant just do it at that time
im to laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy7 -
I still say there is nothing like music for distracting me. Sure, it often helps me focus, without a doubt... Who here hasn't found themselves in the groove, then without warning, one of those songs comes on that pulls you out of the zone, bouncing your feet along with the beat, barely keeping from singing out loud?
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Well ... If the server response does not give me the new form data, how am I supposed to display that form without any data???
FML4 -
I am watching The Karate Kid and it made me wonder if there is a way to teach someone to code without them realizing they have been coding the whole time.
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Kibana. Fuck you very much for not letting me enter my search term without reloading the page a gazillion times and throwing away everything I entered. 😡💩
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Ok why tf are some apps that just generate random number need in app purchase? Bitch please?
You know what, I’m gonna write one, and I’m gonna make it free, tell me what features are needed, what I have in mind is: random number between, random N numbers between, random N numbers between without repetition, random from list with and without repetition, what else? Let me know.6 -
*through gritted teeth* BLUEJ WHATS UR FKIN PRBLM. DON'T LET ME MAKE SOMETHING THAT WORKS IN YOUR OWN COMMAND LINE BUT NOT MY TERMINAL.
I just want to read a single integer from System.in on different occasions during the same program. You even let me close System.in without a warning and try to reopen it later, which I'VE LEARNED ISN'T SUPPOSED TO WORK. EVER.
BlueJ you have beautiful bracket highlighting but that's it, I'm leaving.
#edit
What the shit javac let's me compile this without warnings from command line?2 -
How do you import twitter sdk on android studio without fabric. It gives me error every time. I followed the official documentation of twitter nut couldn't resolve it
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All the shit that has been stressing me out has stopped and everything is okay now I can program without distractions, although I think JavaScript has some stress planned
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OK so this won't be a rant but a post asking for help.
Can anyone suggest me a book for game development with blender without GUI and with python?
I repeat, no GUI at all6 -
I keep going to stack overflow without any question in mind as it grounds me back to reality about how little I know... At the same time makes me pull my hair out at how little I know... Arghhh1
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Me: * Not having fun writing hundreds of tests/assertions for an API *
Also me: * Submitting changes without running my tests *
Production: * BROKEN *
RUN YOUR EFFING TESTS EVEN IF THE CHANGES ARE SMALL OR STRAIGHTFORWARD OR SIMPLE OR WHATEVER -
ummmm an update without where..
mates, if you are reading this plz forgive me! i was not focused!!
One fucking mistake! not a big deal.. -
F@#^$$^#^&CK!
I accidentally deleted the rds instance of a microservice without final snapshoot.
No weekend to me :( -
I wish it was possible to unpin archived chats in WhatsApp WITHOUT opening the folder. Because I don't want to see none of the stuff the people whom I archived (possibly) wrote me
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Syadmin: You can't use caffeine.
Me: How do you expect me to do my job without caffeine?!?
This conversation continued way longer than it should have today. (mostly my fault) -
Thank you Bimbows for yet again installing an unwanted update without my knowledge, restarting my laptop, all while I dine, watching Battlestar Galactica.
I keep you around for gaming only and you disapoint me so much...2 -
Please show me the error message if I cannot post a rant. Just don't silently fail without any error message.1
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Hey iOS devs 👋🏻 have you ever released an app internally without the Apple developer program? 🤔I need an alternative and I hope you can help me please3
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