My brother and I were checking out this new restaurant that had opened up recently. As we enter,

I inadvertently blurt out, "Hey! This place has a nice UI!"

Brother - "Wut?"

Me - "Ambience, I meant ambience."

*In a team meeting*

Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*

Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*

It was a nice conversation.

What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.

A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.

Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.

Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.

She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.

*listens to music using Samsung earphones*
Person next to me: Nice song
Neighbor: Nice song
Aliens: Nice song

She: Uuggrrr.. You did it again
Me: What
She: Stop opening the dev tools
Me: Oh sorry
She: Leave me alone with your laptop.

10 min later

Me: What did you change?
She: I tried to remove the dev tools by changing the dragged position to a negative value in chromes config files.
Me: wow.
She: Didn't work.
Me: Hehe, nice try though

*opens chrome*
Me: wut.
She: *chuckles*

- Light pink theme
- 500% zoom
- Font size changed
- Some virus search engine (my search?)
- deleted some plugins
- start page randomcolour.org (or color? (<- me css freak))

Dad: What do you think about this laptop?
*looking at specs... Raising eyes. Intel i3 first gen., 2 GB RAM*
Me: Nice calculator

Friend : Dude I have mastered Object Oriented Programming. I work only in classes now.
Me : That's nice! Only a Few people manage to master it. Which language do you prefer though?
Friend : CSS
Me : :/

Boss - gives tasks to me. Timeline: 10 days.

Me - work hard and finish the solution in 3 days.

Boss- wtf is this. Do it properly.

Me - chills for 15 days. Submit the same earlier solution after that.

Boss - yes this looks nice now! Much better than your earlier work!

Me - dude seriously what kind of stuff do you smoke before coming to work?

Client: Urgent! App is crashing!
Me inside: Wtf, Crashlytics didn’t send me anything, it betrayed me...
Me: What’s wrong?
Client: Some random user sent me email that app is crashing SOMEWHERE(!?)
Me: ................................... no problem, I’m working on it.

*Tomorrow*
Me: Fixed, everything works fine now (didn’t do anything actually)
Client: Great, nice work!

Client never mentioned that “problem “ anymore.
#likeaboss

An interview via Skype
HR: (ask some technical questions)
Me: (give some technical answers)
HR: Great! I will send your answers to technical team and let you know asap. Have a nice day!

Suddenly I lost all my interests on that company.

Person: Yea, I used to program
Me: Oh nice, what language?
Person: CCS
Me: 😂 *holding it in*

This pro developer in my work just made me look like a fucking useless potato today. Although he was really nice and made me understand what the problem was.

Damn man, he knows too much 😓

When people write me at 5am on facebook, they think, how nice and organized my life is so I am getting up early. Truth is, I have not slept yet.

Other people playing games: "Nice graphics!"
Me playing games: "Wonder how they did that shader..."

Friend: So, you can program

Me: Yeah

Friend: nice, can you hack a Facebook profile?

Every.
Fucking.
Times.

Me to my friend into coding : Hey! I’m finally learning to code at university!
Friend : Nice! Never Forget array start at 0. Which language are you learning?
Me: Matlab
Friend : I don’t know you

Real Chat with new female friend.

Me : what are you studying now?
she : First year of MBBS
Me : that's nice. Generally boys/girls take admission in engg and commerce.
she : yuk. I hate engineer's and engineering specially that PC worm's(soft engg).
Me : k
She : what are you studying?
Me : soft engg
she : I didn't mean it.
Me : it's ok

-_-

WTF man

My interviews to hire a Junior Dev will begin this week. Here's how its gonna go down.

Me: Star Trek or Star Wars?

My Supervisor: WTF? How is that relevant?

Human Resources: Let's see what he says.

Applicant: Battlestar Galactica

Me: Nice. I can deal with that.

Me: Tabs or spaces when indenting your code?

Supervisor: ... ?

Human Resources : ...

Applicant: Spaces.

Me: GTFO you imbecile! Next!

Working with a new dev several years ago -

Him: "Man, I don't get why everybody thinks coding is hard. It's easy!"

Me: "It gets tougher, the more you read the more you realize you know less than you think."

Him: "I'm done reading! I did all of my reading in college."

Me: thinking "have a nice career"

Female friend in office
"It feels so nice that we have a computer science grad with us. How else would have we managed to set up the printer without you?"

Not kidding. This actually happened with me.

Is it just me or the new dark theme on Windows 10 looks really bad?
Too much contrast and bad icons.

Why they didn't used the colors of the really nice looking Visual Studio?

Someone at work trying to impress me: I recently got a really nice PC! It runs Microsoft 10 and has an i5 graphics card and a high performance case!

Me:

Today my roomate told me about his classmate who asked a really nice question " why do we need a MAC address in a WINDOWS machine". They are in a masters course for network security.

Friend of mine passed away several years ago. All other friends known me as Cooke monster so finally got my tattoo. He drew it for me before he died so it's quite personal! But nice to have something to remeber him for!

Me: “Hi, Client. Did you review my proposal?”

Client: “Yes. You asked me to pay you using dollar bills. I found someone else who will do the work for mere pennies. Have a nice life!”

How does anyone make any money in web design and development anymore?

>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted

10/10, would answer again

Friend: "what is it that you do?"
Me: "mostly web development, I make websites"
Ex-friend: "oh web design, nice"
Me: ...

I've just reached 1000++. It's not much and it's taken me almost 1 year but it's still a pretty nice milestone in my book :)

A billion dollar company just sent me a nice email template.

Probably the dev missed a tutorial.

DEV 101

NEVER USE PRODUCTION DATA FOR DEVELOPMENT

Friend: I bought a new phone.
Me: nice!
Friend: It's really fast coz it has 3gb ram!!
Me: okay... Other specs? Cpu? Camera?
Friend: 13 MEGAPIXELS!
Me: yeah but other specs?
Friend: doesn't matter! The photos are of 8mb!
Me: yeah. Best phone ever. 😑😓

Client: We are really happy with your work and enjoy working with you!
Me: Thanks, happy to hear that! I appreciate our collaboration as well.
Client: Great! So... can we get a discount?

Why do people think that being nice also means being cheap!?

Girlfriend: babe where are you?
Me : at the gym
Girlfriend: waoh nice babe
Me: ya the system crashed again
Girlfriend: oh I went too far
Hahaha

Microsoft: We're brings new updates to Edge....

Me: Oh nice, was about time.
**Reads changelog**

"Edge now has support for Internet Explorer"

"No, really, you can now run IE in Edge."

Me: Oh for Fuck Sake!

Me: I should try out Figma's vector tool

[30 minutes pass, this happened]

Pros: its nice

Cons: not as intuitive as Illustrator's or Inkscape's....

AND MUH GRIDS

Me: *spends 4+ hours refactoring existing spaghetti, ensuring components are modular, easier to test and fault tolerant*

Project manager: ...

Also me: *adds pre-loader image to register and login buttons when user submits form*

Project manager: *All excited* Awesome work. 🙌That's some nice improvement..

Like wtf dude 😳..

My takeaway: These noobs only care about what they can directly interact with

Boss: we picked up a new client!
Me: nice!
Boss: They want the unfinished software we were working on that we planned to be done 2 months from now.
Me: even better!
Boss: They want it in 3 weeks.
Me:
Me:
Me: no.

So a friend of mine asked me today "got any proposals?"
Me: "yeah, in fact I got two of them"
Friend: "... Nice!"
Me: "yeah. Both were from my client"
Friend bursts out laughing.

>be me
>Get hit by a wave of depression
>Question the reason for your existence
>Open laptop start coding as a distraction
>Discover/invent/learn something new
Hey that's nice!!! (wait for the next wave of depression)

I gave lift to an old man. Starting the conversation
He: what do you do?
Me: I am a software engineer
He: Nice....... where do you get the material to build a software?
Me: mmmmm google or stackoverflow
He: maybe they are new in market, never heard of them

With latest release of Notepad++ you can now have a nice intellisense for CoffeeScript code!

Added by me! 🤗

2019:
* Learned a lot
* Earned a little less than expected
* Couldn't travel
* Couldn't sleep much

2020:
* Earn more
* Buy a car
* Buy an iPhone or OnePlus for Dad
* Buy a really nice suit for me
* Travel
* Excercise
* Sleep more

Person- Hey! are you a game developer?

me- yea.

person- Nice! so, you make games, right?

me- NO! I fuckin' scroll through my Twitter feed!

person- Ahm hah.. ok then, ttyl.

me- T.T

Fucking hell, how much I hate frontend!

Getting a tab system to work (bulma only exists out of css) has been taking me ages and its still not working.

I love nice interfaces but I just want to work on the backend 😭

Girlfriend asked me to take the spider out instead of killing it, i did! Really nice guy, bought me a beer and told me all about how he wanted to be a webdesigner 😏

Him: You can code, right?
Me: Of course,why
Him: I want to start promoting my (very crappy) music, I need you to –
Me: No!
Him: But, I just –
Me: I already said No.Never gonna happen.
Him: I get it.You really can't code,you just pretend to.A simple website can't be that hard for you if you knew.
Me:(Pushing him out) Nice try.

My girlfriend made me this beautiful present - a Batman Rubber Duck - so nice !

Me: Hello, IT Support? I can't use your system because as I log in I can't bypass a form saying I must confirm my email. But I haven't received any confirmation email. Can you resend it?

Support: We can't resend it, you have to do that yourself. What's your email?

Me: it's <blahblah>.gmail.com

Support: have you checked Junk?

Me: I sure have!

Support: Then please restart your computer and the email should come

Me: ....................
Me: have a nice day

Me searching for some random ideas.

Case 1
Me - I want to create something.
Friend - Can you hack into ... ?
Me - No, bye

Case 2
Me - I want to create something.
Bro - I also want to create one awesome project
Me - Ok, cool

Case 3
Me - I want to create something
Mom - Come, help me with preparation for dinner.
Me - *I have been trapped* Nice move

It would be nice if everybody could just leave me the FUCK alone and let me work.
Goddammit!

Me: Nice codebase I have here :smug:

Me 1 year later: Wtf who wrote this shit!?

Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."

Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"

me: "so what version control system + tool you're using for this website?"
co-worker: "what is version control?"
me: "uh... like tfs, you manage changes, merge etc!???"
co-worker: "ah, i'm using filezilla."

Everyone knows that coworker who just defies anything you say for no reason.

Me: "Ah, nice day today isn't it?"
CW: "Actually, today is historically mediocre compared to the rest of the days that have ever occurred."

Imagine trying to solve real problems with this dude.

Very nice!

Doesn't know my name but has still found "jobs" for me 🙄

Me: I can't get a grasp on frontend and nice interfaces...

Friend: it's actually quite easy:
Rule 1 -Don't reinvent the wheel..
Rule 2 -That does not look like a wheel.

Made my day :D

How devrant changes me #1:
I'm a little bit more active on devrant since about a week. Improvement so far:
1. I spent only 20% of the time on Facebook i usually do
2. I really enjoy the nice community
3. I even more enjoy that i notice there are more "dudes like me" :D i mean.. I'm tired of telling my "normal" friends how happy i am because i wrote some awesome code and just get a "eeeh.. Nice." back because they dont understand and often dont even try to understand whats so special for me.
4. Even if my english is still kinda bad, i notice that i get better with every rant i post. I mean.. That post cost me about 3 min. I swear 7 days ago it would have cost me minimum 7 minutes to get this lines down :)

Thanks devrant :)

At my previous job a coworker left positive comments alongside any negative ones on my code. “Nice job here. Very clean”, or “nice use of X design pattern here!” Kinda made me look forward to his code reviews.

Well I'm on the way to an interview for an IT Management internship at Logitech, wish me luck I'm so fucking scared.
Any tips will be nice because I'm so fucking afraid I will fuck it up

Thanks devrant for making me feel part of a really nice community! I mean... Before devrant I was only able to hear "oh, it is not that bad" or "take it easy" as a response... Now I'm reading really nice answers from people that really loves the IT, and people that always works on the worst side of the companies, doing all the hardwork. I don't feel alone anymore!

My wk89 post got literally one upvote, but that single one came from dfox. So I got that going for me, which is nice :)

My food-loving other half just said this to me:

Her: "I love you more than pie"
Me: "Aww, that's nice"
Her: "I love you 4.173692 out of 10"
Me: "..."

Me, complaining about being single: It would just be nice to have someone who cares how my day went every day

Scrum master: Hey...

Me: No

I don't know why but it smells really nice outside at night and it makes me really happy and relaxed :3
Heck I might just go out for a walk...

I'm working with a customer named Clint.

I realize now that over numerous tickets I started mistyping his name... just every god damn time.

Guess what letter I left out?

Nice guy for not correcting me ... extra fast ticket response for him now.

Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...

Is it just me that is addicted to the feeling when you solved a big problem with the code and everything just works afterwards? Its such a nice feeling!!

Just found this in my photos, sent to me by my sister.

And hello devRant.

Oh well, have a nice morning/afternoon/evening.

In an interview, when you throw a simple piece of code to a candidate...

Candidate: ...

ME: (maybe I'm too hard on them)

Candidate: ...

ME: (ok, I definitively have to simplify this little pattern example)

Candidate: ...

ME: ...explaining the short piece of code and give'm the answer

Candidate: haaaaa that's what I was thinking but I used that long time ago...

ME: (Yeah... nice try)

I have been hassling a client all week for some stuff. I asked my colleague if I should hassle them again today.

Me: Should I check in on them?

Col: Yeah just put a reminder in the chat

Me: i was nice

Col: wow you really were

Me: yeah I can be nice

Col: Did you wikihow?

Me: just went to stackoverflow

Update on myFacebook/Meta interview:

Got rejected. lol

The first interviewer was a dick to me and I sensed it since he kept pushing me back a lot and wanted things his way.

But anyway, it was a nice learning experience for me. I spent more time on preparing for them then I should have. No regrets though.

Life learning.

A friend of mine (who is French) has made a little firewall for Windows (idk why).
He sends me the binary, so I tested it and got around it fairly easily.
Replied to him: "I have a nice name for it: Maginot line"

My CodePen is one of today's "Picked Pens" so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Today I had my first decent pull request accepted.

It wasn't the biggest problem, but it made a chrome extension not work, and the author and other users couldn't figure it out.

The author seems very chill and called me 'the man' and offered me a drink.
It felt nice.

I have made a stack overflow question with "JavaScript" tag. And got fucking 12 views! Twelve!!!

Nobody fucking likes me! :(

But I got "tumbleweed achievement" so I got that goin' for me which is nice.

They finally came 😍 brings me a nice warm feeling of joy 😊

that moment as a sys admin when everything is in peace and you have nothing to do.
I usually go outside and get me a nice cup of coffee at a local cafe

today its a Latte Machiato with white chocolate

What the hell was I thinking at when I wrote this nice interface wrapper...

What bothers me more is that gcc didn't warned me about such obvious recursion...

I gave you a nice date picker to use but instead you choose to type in the date. Type in an incorrect date and then yell at me for it. If I could enter the dates for you , you would not have a job .... stupid users

Today something amazingly incredible happened, I met a nice guy on stackoverflow, he even asked me if he could edit my question to make it better, and did not reproach me for asking a RTFM question.

Year 0:
Coworker:
ARGH! I fuckin hate JavaScript!
Me:
Keep going! Everyone started as a novice. You'll manage.

Year 2:
Coworker:
Hmm. JavaScript is actually pretty nice!
Me:
See, you are a successful junior now!

Year 4:
Coworker:
ARGH! I fuckin hate JavaScript!
Me:
Well, so you eventually reached senior level. Nice!

Stack Overflow is the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their programming knowledge, and build their careers.

But don't worry, no one will ever answer you lol.

Attended an interview, interviewer started calling me sir (Which I took as sarcasm).

Giving so many interviews, I was use to basic oops question. This guy just offers me a job based on my resume.

Felt nice but fishy.

"Could you make me a nice logo really quick? I have no budget"

.. sure, just let me press the "make Logo"-Button in Illustrator

Recruiter: Hi, we like your CV. Do you have a portfolio?

Me: Yeah, the links on my CV.

Recruiter: Oh nice. We'll send you an email with some job roles.

Don't get an email....

I want to finish my masters degree, get a nice job that helps me find my place in CS, get a new, bigger flat and add some hamsters to my family to become the crazy single hamster lady I was always meant to be.

Well I’m 6 weeks into my first Dev job. They haven’t really given me much to do, so the boss let me come up with my own project for an internal app, which is nice.

Yes former technical person who is now a business person. Please, please advise me on my job with your decaying outdated skills. Yes, google for me. I didn't know how to do that. Ah wonderful yes, you recall this being "easy" which is why you quit the field. What a nice time this is.

dfox, trogus - you guys are so incredibly nice!
thank you so much!

(ordered stickers from the shop hoping some of the money goes to the guys and they put an extra free swag without me asking for it)

Email: "we have carried out a phishing test company wide"

Me: Nice!

Email: "results are here"

Me: wow, already done? Didn't even see the email. I must've subconciously discarded it! Damn, I'm good!!

Email: "the test was carried out yesterday"

Me: *was OOO y-day*

Me: fuck

I wonder if I’d get in trouble for brand misuse if I designed and sold a t-shirt that says “Be nice to me or I’ll talk about you on devRant.”

!rant
Last night I had a minor hiccup with a iOS/Android CI service I absolutely love (BuddyBuild), so naturally I contact their support to address the issue and ask about potential new plans. A couple minutes later I find out I'm talking with the CEO! Turns out he's a really nice and receptive guy who cares a lot about their service!

How cool is that!? It was nice to tell him how much I've enjoyed their product and about the headache it's saved me!

I don't know if it's the new generation of programmers or what but it irritates me how people recommend JavaScript/Node for solving almost any type of problem these days. JavaScript is nice, but come on...

Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)

Purple, Ahh yes, the nice colour purple... dont you love looking at something and thinking, "Wow, thats some nice purple"

well, I fucking dont, fuck that piece of shit colour, I FUCKING HATE PURPLE, why?
BECAUSE IT DOESNT FUCKING EXIST! FUCK PURPLE, FUCK IT, ITS FUCKING BLUE! THERE IS NO FUCKING PURPLE!

WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! IT DOESNT FUCKING EXIST! THERE IS BLUE AND RED, BUT. THERE. IS. NO. FUCKING. PURPLE!

And dont get me started on brown, that nice brown chocolate, these coffee beans...
IF IT WOULDNT LOOK LIKE DARK-GREEN I WOULDNT FUCKING HATE IT! WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST!

(if your wondering, yes. I have a red-green colour deficiency)

Am I the only one who thinks DevRant should have a proper desktop website instead of just making us navigate in a stretched out version of the mobile app?
Don't get me wrong, I love this place, but a desktop website would sure be nice! :D

Now its so nice. I love me some good stickers.

Everyone bragging about nice stickers on their laprops, meanwhile me ...

Thanks Dell

Everywhere i comment people welcome me to devRend =)
You are all so nice, i LOVE this app

Eclipse: Hey, I found a nice little update for you
Me: ok, install it
Eclipse: nope, I can't find it ...

AAAAAAAHHHH I'm gonna kill you !!!!!

Why should we choose you?

"Oh, let's delete no-reply@domain.tld because that's not needed by anything"

Stupid fucking clients...
Now users can't verify their accounts. Nice!

I use this timer app... probably more than most people (for food). It works fine and looks nice but the undismissable warning message is a real eyesore. Why not just let me dismiss the message.... why...

Hello [Your Name], it's me [Name] from the internet. Nice to neet ya'all

When some one at the company decides to branch off from the main codebase and end up with several outdated and separetely modified branches for two years.

Yeah nice work genius and good luck with resolving over 250 files of merge conflicts.

Just kill me now 😭

Desk helper: "Have a nice flight"

Me: "You too"

Fuck. I've been behind a screen for too long.

So, I'm going to switch from Windows 10 soon. Yay :)
So, which distribution do you think would be good for me. I'd like a nice one with a good desktop environment that is good to program on.

That's the reason why I'm still using Windows 10 Insiders builds...when you get into GSoD, you can shoot nice photo where you actually are. For me right now, that's the cafe in the shopping center.

I'm feeling so lonely at work. No one is interested in talking to me. They talk only when they need something done.

I've been and I did my best being nice to everyone ☹️

Why do people hate php? It feels so nice to me.

Me: So... do you want a website, right?
Client: Yes!
Me: ...but you don't know how it should look, right?
Client: Ehm... correct.
Me: ...and you don't even know what color should I use?
Client: Exactly!
Me: ...and of course you can't link me a website you like which I can base on.
So now I have to invent something randomly that somehow will be the exact same thing you would like to see. Nice.

Old team that screwed me over now comes back being all nice to ask me for help...

Me: **fake smile** Hi... (what can I do for you monkeys)

Then proceeds to do a Google search and gives them a link... idiots....

Are there many people out there like me who don't subscribe to the whole "software to help you write software" malarkey? Resharper being a big one where I work!

Just give me a nice lean code editor.

I'm done. I'm freaking done.

I'm going to take a nice long break and no one can stop me.

Boss pulls up in a Lamborghini 🏎️

Me: "Nice ride, boss! 🎉"

Boss: "No problem, just work hard and hit those deadlines... and I might get one more! 😎

I'm just a student, but I always feel like a badass when the class treats me like almost like a teacher when it comes to programming.

Our actual programming teacher is new, so she doesn't always teach well (don't get me wrong, she's nice and I do know my place as a student) so my classmates usually approaches me when they need clarification or they got an error on their code. Makes me feel useful :D

Me: *Writes a nice little AWS Lambda service using Java 12*

Reviewing Dev: Lambda only supports JDK 8

Me: *Dies inside and cries as I replace every occurence of var*

My wife was done with exercises on her electronic 88 keys piano.
Me: I also know something nice.
Her: oh so?
Me: (repeatedly typing key #3)
Her: (thinking)
Her: C hacking?!

So i was talking to my client the other day and this is what happened....

Me: So what features do you want in the Progress Tracker in the app.

Client: (takes his IPAD out and opens the FitBit app) This is a really nice progress tracker.

Me: Alright so what features would you like in Progress Tracker, eg: would you maybe like them to check in everyday making sure that they have done exercise or something.

Client: *Shows me his goal in steps (which was 10,000 if anyone was wondering) and shows me other features of the app and not telling me what to do in his own one* These look nice.

Me: Alright so do you want a Step Tracker, Calories Tracker etc.

Client: Nooooo, I want other things.

Me: Ok lets get discussing what are these "other things"

Client: *Continues to show me the FitBit app*

Me: *facepalm*

I just received an email from a weird company they wanted to offer me 150 dollars monthly to insert a script in my google chrome extension, when I asked about the script they sent me a function called "malmare"...
...
Nice...

No arguments.. just me bitching over

var name_variable_int;
var someOtherNeme;
var ThisIsAlsoInSameFile;

that some guy thought would be nice to have in same file..
Just pick one, even if it's incorrect for the language, ffs!!

When my friends see me opening devRant, they think I'm working. Nice!

I met a really really nice guy who I'd love to meet irl, @ribchinski
He's the type of guy who's so chill you'd want to fuck a goat with him, you get me?

Buy a nice, clicky mechanical keyboard. The sound of Cherry MX blue makes me want to write code just for the pleasure of hearing and feeling my keyboard 😂

This one from Silicon Valley:
“Tell me this isnt Zune bad”
“I’m sorry Gavin, it’s Apple Maps bad”
Or perhaps:
“Hey Danesh, nice chain...” 😂

Went to sleep early due to being up for 2 days to get work done and overtime pay to afford a nice vacation with the gf. Woke up to several messenger txts from gf about me not responding, ending with me being dumped.

*Send 2 mockup options for new component*

Them: Nice! I'm torn, which one do you like?

Me: I like the first.

Them: Great, lets go with the second!

-.-

Work: We're gonna add another project to you. Nice, so thats 3 now. Oh, and get 2 of them done by the end of this month please. Thanks.
Me: ...
Me: ha ha ha

Me: we need to fix all these technical debt and prevent new ones from growing

Boss: this needs to be prioritized by product owner

Correct me if I'm wrong but a PO didn't see all the shit under the hood, (of a nice looking "car")... And by the time the engine starts choking... It's already too late?

I have a dedicated office space at home with a huge desk that was given to me by my mom and stepdad as a gift with a really nice chair that my wife got for me. It has a nice long whiteboard to write whatever it is I am doing, a bookshelf with tons of coding books and guitar magazines and shit. A closet with good space and in a corner sits my guitar and amp.

Where can I be located during coding hours? In the floor, on the living room, using a box to put one of my laptops in.

Why am I like this?

Me walking into Best Buy picking up a package wearing my Android hat.

Me: I'm here to pick up a package
Best Buy guy: That is a nice hat!
Me: Oh? Thanks! It my favorite
Guy: As long as it isn't Apple

Just had an email forwarded to me with a nice snarky comment by a sales guy that when he wrote it figured people in the technical side of our company would see it. Sales people piss me off, kind of want to tell him he is an a-hole tomorrow.

I have only been working with this open-source tool for 2 weeks, but already found 2 bugs. The maintainer is also nice enough answering questions quickly in the forum and submitting the issues for me.

It's nice to be able to contribute something to the open-source community. Yay for me! 💯

Too bad that next week, I will transfer to another project and stop working with this tool.

Only me who is actually happy when coworkers finish a nice piece of code? I feel like too many only thinks of competition :(

Client : I want an online store

Me: oh nice, send me your requirements document and a preferred website.

Client: 24hours later, sends me images of the products... wtf

Client said the images need to be responsive and go full width.

Told her that would make the images massive and we should have a limit in height a cropping enabled.

She told me it should look nice with full width images uncropped.

Fucking designers said the same fucking thing.

Client today: Hey images are huge. Make sure they look nice.

*sigh*

So, I got this new coworker of mine, he's 5 years older than me and says he's got a loooot of experience with html, css und javascript. Nice. Boss wants us to blur some text on a website, I show him how to do it with css "filter: blur(4px)".

5 minutes later he's all proud and says "done". I think nice, check the code - and see this moron having put an <img> png in there, having blurred the text with photoshop. Short memory, anyone?

!rant

I didn’t mean to be all “notice me senpai” but it’s nice when an Architect tells you “I wish we would have though of that years ago” when you demo your new app.

My fellow developer just sits next to me and is very nice person. But he keeps peeping into my screen and say -
"oh, why are you looking into x "
"oh, so you looking into y"
"oh, there is blog post on this"

It really turns me off :x

How to tell him politely that I don't like this.

My buddy told me Apple is Linux with nice drivers 😯

8 days till end of contract.
Let’s hope nobody nice want to hire me for at least a month.
I need vacation badly.

My Unix class
👨‍💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script

Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!

I am so disgusted by how people keep asking me how to hack Facebook... As if it's even possible? What the hell are they even thinking?!

- oh, hi there. I'm your Assistant. Nice to meet you 😊

Kinda positive rant: Started my new job today after I quit the previous one (or as we started to call it the "bad place"🔥). Lot's of nice people and so far a really nice atmosphere. A bit of information overload. They are working with a lot of technologies which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it kinda scares me. Also made me sad I have to start all over again making friends...I just felt really "new" you know.

Client: *Sends beautiful screenshot*. I created the newsletter (template) with chatgpt.
Me: Nice. Did it add the header and the footer as well ?
Client : I'm asking him to do it right now.
Me: Ok.

As a trash developer I fear for my job.
/s
Ughh

Did some freelance work off the books and now the guy is threatening to sue me .. nice

ffs.
Got to the office in the morning. Boss says, ok we want to do a toast for one thing or the other. Got a nice glass of red wine. drank it. Nice wine. got back to my computer, and started to work. the boss man calls me back. I say whats up? he says, bottle of whiskey....

drunk coding is fun!

Me: *Showing the "You ! Count" image from devRant to a friend*
Friend: Haha! Nice one!
Me: You should install devRant, the image is from there
Friend: What is devRant?
Me: It's like Twitter, but only for programmers
Friend: No thanks, I don't like Twitter

I have failed you, master!

Someone gave me his code and told me to improve it and being the nice guy I am I agreed. Then while trying to work on that, a dozen other people asked me to help them with their code too, so in the end I barely got any work done.

I should stop helping people

Thanks, client, for not telling me you were going to have a big sales event that needed my intervention. Nice Saturday I'm having.

me being overly nice with a lost soul that commented in one of my few SO answers. from 3 years ago

Oh thank god for coffee.

Having one of those days where every slight criticism feels like a personal attack (they're not, I have very nice co-workers) and every small task makes me want to just go back to bed because I'm so useless...

Woke up this morning from a stressful week, thought fuck it and booked a nice hotel in York with a pool for me wife and son. Just enjoying yet another pint after an enjoyable day. Ready for the fan covered in shit.

When I was younger my mom would tell me to clean the soda cans off my desk. Now my wife tells me to clean the beer cans off my desk. It nice to have a beer when late night programming :)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Has someone of you created a sexy looking gallery for the web and maybe got it on github to let me throw an eye on it?
It would be sooooo fucking nice!

Gifts from company
Why are you sending me something which I don't want? Isn't the concept of gifting is to give something which the receiver can utilize. Just send me the bonus and let me decide what I want for myself. I don't want expensive chocolates and cookies with unconventional jars. I want a nice a pair of headphones or maybe a smartwatch. The price is the same as what you are sending me, so please stop this.

So I had a nice conversation with man who develops web for around 30 years , he said he loved angular 2 , but he doesn't get the reason of html5 , I just look at him with a straight face thinking " god , you testing me ?"

Me: *gets a payout from my old job*
Me: ahhh now to spoil myself, let's get some pixel buds and a day dream set and maybe a nice bottle of whiskey.

eBay: YO! We have that MacBook you've been looking for going really cheap at the moment!

Me: ... I hate myself...

Why does stuff always go on sale when I've spent my money ;-;

Couldn't save a file because it showed me that this file is opened somewhere else. So I go to the resource monitor to check for its handlers, but only explorer.exe showed in list. I restart explorer and get back to the code. For the first time..... for the first time in my life I hoped that this won't work. I press Ctrl+S, andddd, file was saved.

So, basically, windows's explorer can lock files. Nice job Microsoft. Nice job.

Woah! Collabs! Nice.

I'm actually glad it's a paid feature. The sheer entitlement of people using free software asking for development help for free has always bothered me.

Cool idea, I hope it works out!

So it's Monday and its holiday in my country. But I have a deployment to do. Anyway I have this buddy accompany me which is nice.

AM BIOS: "Hi, I am your new Kaby Lake Motherboard. Nice to see you on my first ever run. I have seen that you have some disks attached to me. They must be new because I am ....Let me initialize a raid on them."
Me: o0 (W)ell (T)hat's (F)antastic!*

* Finished restoring a 6TB Backup to my raidz mirrors this morning at 6am, fuuuuu**

** Kaby Lake Rocks nonetheless

Some birds told me Galaxy S9 is really good.
Googled it, and found something more interesting.
PS: this is the 3rd largest mobile server provider in NZ
Use development code in production.
Distructed certificate.
Nice work guys!

We had a meeting with our customer and showed them our prototype. The prototype had a fancy GUI.

The customer looked at the prototype and said: well, it looks nice but I don't know. In some kind the Gui don't flashes me. Make it so that it flashes me.

Project idea: make a fucking neural network visualizer, that gets my fucking model and gives me a proper fancy fucking visualisation in jpeg. 😐

I'm angry cuz I have to make that shit manually rn, and shit ain't playing nice.

Xmas time and unpaid invoices :(

At least I have devRant, so I got that going for me which is nice

When it started paying my bills and my hobbies 😎 Don’t get me wrong, I like my job, but at the end of the day it’s just a source of income that allows me to have a super nice life outside of work.

Please be nice to me...

Me, 5 years ago:
Light theme sucks, everything must join the dark side!

Me, now older and obviously wiser:
Actually, light theme is nice, it forces you to work in daytime, with less frequent headache.

Comp Science teacher - “What is an object?”
Kid sitting next to me - “Women”
That was nice considering I am one...

Them: “EQ is the number #1 predicator of success in any industry nowadays and it is essential for everyone to practice”

Oh nice - tell me this though: How have you measured your progress developing your EQ corresponding to your success?

Them: *dial up sounds*

On a Sunday 8pm evening. C-Level (CEO, CFO, C-etc) guy account is getting auto logout.

Boss: please be available on a 9pm call.
Me: can this wait till tomorrow?
Boss: No
Me in my head: why cant just login again

Meanwhile on normal days: other users experiencing issues.

Boss: C-guy never experienced and I cant replicate it.

Me: nice..

me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA

Im new here yall :)
Can yall be nice and show me this thing works <3

Just thinking back to my previous job.. My manager was nice and friendly to me.. until I messed up. It just makes me realize that in every company I'm just nothing but a tool they use to get good results.. If you start producing bad results, they'll hate you..

Urgh..

The nice thing about DevRant is it makes me feel better about the relative pain at MY job.

mom: son you received a package
me: wow 😍 (expecting stressball)
mom: oh nice, it is great
me: wow (so fast international delivery)
mom: it an invitation to a state level event organised by state government
me: yeah, mom i applied for it.
stress over stressball

The day has come where I was asked to fix some windows issue of a coworker (not an IT guy) at home. Some data sharing issue in the homenetwork.
Ok, told him I've never set up anything like this but could take a look at it.
Got it fixed after 1-2hours and he was nice enough to pay me for my time.
I'm not even mad, that is nice :)

While I fixed stuff for a friend multiple times who is richer then me who can't take me to the next tram stop by car after a meeting since it's not on her way. Damn.

I'm at DreamHack Dallas, and I just saw a guy at his booth open Unity, fix a bug, and rebuild the game.
No judgment from me brah, I get it,
but it is nice not to be my broken demo for a change.

I had a nice talk with my teacher when he saw me struggling with windows cmd.

I fucking love my SD card reader driver fucking up my whole system. How did that driver even pass BayHub's fucking QA, causing a bluescreen of death right during reboot of Windows? Anyways thanks Microsoft for that nice new bluescreen not telling me anything about the fucking problem why Windows just crashed. But at least it looks nice, so that it's more fun working all night and half a day to find the fucking problem myself. Fuck this.

So, due insanely annoying youtube algo, I just wanted to listen related music to given author - not really what I usually listen to. You know the youtube drill, it's suggestion feed sucks hard.

So I kick in incognito, my typical workaround and wait a second... it prompts me to check out youtube music (didnt know its a thing) and well, well, well... It's actually pretty nice. And solves my suggestion feed problems.

Nice. I have no idea when they deployed that but it's lookin preetty nice (at first glance) and dosent use as much bandwidth. Sweet, exacly what Dubby needed.

(said person who dislikes spotify cuz 60% of music I listen to is just not there)

Fuck forced coding conventions in uni, especially if they are as stupid as Google's Java Conventions. They are a disgrace to nice code but we will have to use them going forward

Stupid spaces everywhere. Else on the same line, wtaf. And don't even get me started on indentation with fucking spaces. Tabs are superior in every single way fite me irl

Angular 2 is really, really satisfying me. Such a very clean and smart way to organize web functionality! And es2015 + typescript is sooo nice to work with.

Hogwarts legacy is out, and here I am, on a nice free Saturday, walking 6 fucking miles to a fucking mall to spend the fucking afternoon in fucking clothing shops.

Fucking *kill* me.

With crunch time closing in, everybody but me seems to call in sick.
Nice move, colleagues, nice move.